Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 196: Nasty Ole Gloryhole

Episode Date: December 18, 2014

Special thanks to David Smalley for joining us. Check out Dogma Debate at      : http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/rick-perry-presidential-campaigns-not-iq-test-n266031 : http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/12/rick-perry-shrugs-off-wealth-inequality-the-bible-says-there-will-always-be-poor-people/ : 

What day of the week do you look forward to most? Well, it should be Wednesday. Ahem, Wednesday. Why, you wonder? Whopper Wednesday, of course. When you can get a great deal on a whopper. Flame grilled and made your way. And you won't want to miss it.

So make every Wednesday a Whopper Wednesday. Only at Burger King, where you rule. Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app. Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 196 of Cognitive Dissonance, and we are joined by the inimitable David Smalley from the Dogma Debate podcast.

It's not a podcast. Dogma Debate show. Dot com. Show. I always want to say podcast, but it's a live broadcast, so it's not really a podcast in the traditional sense. I already fucked it up. We're like a minute in. I don't know why I'm surprised that that is the worst intro I've ever had.

Here I am. I just hope this thing does not worst intro I've ever had. Here I am. I just hope this thing does not last any longer than seven minutes. Let me tell you. Seven minutes is the mark. Seven minutes for me would be doubling my standard time. So I actually am kind of flattered, to be perfectly honest. That's fucking great. So we wanted to have you on the show.

You recently had a podcast-a-thon, a 24-hour enhanced interrogation of several- Broadcast-a-thon. Broadcast-a-thon. Just keep fucking it up, Tom. Just keep fucking it up. Would you expect anything different, really, from me? I mean, this is literally the best you get, guys. This is it.

So you were raising money for Foundation Beyond Belief. And I have to say, you would have failed miserably had cognitive dissonance not swooped into your rescue at the penultimate moment, like six hours in. I don't really think that's how the penultimate moment works. But tell us a little bit about the broadcast-a-thon. Not podcast-a-thon. That would be fucking wrong. Tell us a little bit about it and, you know, how it went, the money you made, how much of it you're sending it to me, you know. Yeah, yeah.

No, so we made zero money. I want to be clear about that. But, yeah, you know, the listeners really blew us away. The amount of support we received was just phenomenal. We originally set the goal, we originally talked about the goal being at 5,000. And the reason I got to that number is I asked Dale at Foundation Beyond Belief, I said, you know, what did they make last year when they did a 24-hour thing similar to this? And I think the number was around 1, number was around 1600 and i said well what's the most you've ever done in 24 hours and he said uh 3800 and i said okay well then we're gonna blow their minds and do five grand like i want

both records i want the record from last year's non-stop uh podcast thing And then I want also your personal 24 hour record. So let's go 5,000. And two days before they said, Hey, can you guys double it? And so we were like, uh, yeah, I guess. So yeah, we doubled the goal to 10,000 and said, that's what we're going to try to do. We're going to try to hit 10 grand. And we were, we were very, very nervous. We thought, you know, this is not going to work. And so and so um it's good that you went into it with with high expectations yeah of course you know and we were we were we were terrified and so uh you know we had a couple of great hours there and our whole plan was you know we're going to keep track of who brings in the most cash uh and then kind of do a little competition thing.

Because when Foundation Boundary First approached me to do this, they said, why don't you do a 24-hour show the same time the Friendly Atheist does a 24-hour show and you guys will compete with each other. Oh. And I was like, well, you know, that really wouldn't be fair to Hemant. Well, and it's a terrible idea, actually, because you're competing for the, like it's the one time that like this audience would be split, like competing for listeners. Like, why would you want to do that?

Well, I wouldn't say terrible. I would say I came up with something slightly more efficient. And I said, why don't instead we do one show that's mine and we have 24 guests on and each one of them compete with each other. And Dale was like, genius. Love it. Let's go with it. And so instead of competing with him, and we made him our final guest, and said, Okay, this is this is what we're gonna do. So, you know, just a few hours in, for the listeners that heard it, they already know. But basically, what happened is, man, you know, we had a guy in studio who happens to be my chief information officer named Philip, He pulls $1,000 cash out of his pocket and says, let's make this interesting. I'll match

for the next hour. And immediately this guy, George calls in is like, bam, count me in. Here's another thousand. So we were at two grand during David Fitzgerald's hour. They were totally cheating for the guy. And so Todd Stiefel calls in right after that, right after that hour's up. And he's like, I'm not going to let David Fitzgerald outdo me. So he starts offering to double and triple match. And the donations aren't coming in very fast. So he gets super cocky and goes, well, then let's go sextuple match. And so he's like, I just I like that word.

It's a dirty word, sextuple. And so the donations at that point started pouring in and um he ended up in his hour writing a check just on his own for ten thousand six hundred fifty five dollars to match all the donations just in that hour and so uh that blew us away and and then right after that you guys show up and you do your own match. And it just got out of control. And it was so crazy because we ended up in the 24-hour period raising over $31,000 for Foundation Beyond Belief. And not just that, an outside group did a $20,000 match.

So it ended up being a total of $51,600 for foundation. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. They're from what, from what Dale was saying, they're only, uh, they're, they're within reach of their next year's budget of $75,000 and they could, they could reach it before the end of the year. Exactly. Exactly. The whole point of this was, this was supposed to be a good kickstart to give them a first good 10 grand toward their 75,000. And we've already helped them hit 51 of the 75 and the year hasn't started yet. So, so yeah, that was pretty exciting. And I do have to say, you were joking earlier about you guys getting credit. We went back and tallied everything up and you know, Todd Stiefel's just too studly to be counted, right? That's amazing, yeah. With what he came in and did, just blew everything out of the water.

But of all of the normal human beings, once we kissed Todd's feet and said, Thank you, Atheist Jesus, and he moved along, you guys actually raised the most money during your segment. Oh, man, that's amazing. Yeah, you were number one right behind the man. We had a little help right beforehand. Tom and I had pledged $1,000 a piece,

but then we had a person who sent in $500 just out of nowhere, sent me a message on Facebook and said, hey, I'd love to participate. Please don't use my name. I'm sort of a closeted atheist, and we just called him Glory Holio, the masked philanthropist. And he wound up delivering $500 extra. So we were able to match $2,500.

We actually didn't reach our goal either. We totally wanted to get you $5,000, but we came up short. I think it was like $4,600 or something. Total tally with our money thrown in. That's a real shame. I'm used to coming up short, though. That's not surprising. Well, we really appreciate it, and you guys still ended up being first

place right behind Todd, so I'll always remember that, and you guys are definitely going to be invited to join us next year, for sure. Did you happen to listen after your part? I did. I had to drive home, so I didn't listen directly after. I listened for a few seconds after.

Maybe like five or ten minutes, because both Tom and I were cleaning up Glory Hole Studios while we were putting stuff away. So then we left. But we had heard that right afterwards, you guys had to read a 21 Glory Hole salute. Much worse. My wife is reading them. Let me just tell you, she had no idea what the word, oh no.

That's amazing. She's just glory hole this, glory hole, and I'm looking at her with my mouth just dropping, like, what are you doing? She's like, it's part of the dedication, honey. And everybody's just like, stop. Don't mess her up. Don't stop her.

I'm like, why are they doing this to me? It was like every cognitive dissonance fan was just digging it in and loved it. And I thought it was hilarious. Afterwards, at some point during the show, I said, do you know what that is? She said, no, and don't tell me until I'm finished. Because she didn't want to know until she was done. That's actually exactly how the glory hole works.

I was just going to say that. Awesome. I was just going to say that. That's awesome. On a show where sex tupple is the dirtiest thing you can say, I think that this is one of those moments that you just got to love. I think my listeners listen to me on your show for the same reason people go see Bob Saget do stand-up. They know him as like this clean

straight guy who's gonna be really respectful and then you know five minutes into his stand-up he's talking about you know blowing some guy for crack and you're just like whoa that is not the family guy I know that's why they listen to me on this show we just haven't figured out why they listen to us on our show so yeah we have to we have to figure that out first. That's amazing, though. And you had a lot of great guests. I know I came back and I listened to a little bit before I went to sleep, and then I got a little bit of sleep but then was woken up in the middle of the night and I decided to listen, and I actually caught Andy Wilson,

who I thought, in my opinion, Andy Wilson's hour was one of the best hours. You guys were completely out of it. It had to be 5 or 6 in the morning. You guys were all just zoned out. And Andy brought a bunch of clips and was just having a fun time doing a little quiz show in Credulous. And it was a really good time. And then I stayed up for Scathing Atheist and a few other people that were on. And you guys did a hell of a job why do

why did you decide to do the the 24 hours staying up it's like an old timing like i'm gonna dance all night sort of thing going on what is that about it was reminding me of like bob dole bob dole's gonna stay up for 72 hours until bob dole's president uh but really you know, I first thought of the idea two years ago. There's a guy here locally on a radio station in Dallas called 1310 The Ticket. And there's a guy that his name is Norm Hitchkiss. And he does what he calls the Normathon. And it's so cool because he comes up to the studio and he stays in the studio 24 hours, does not leave and raises a bunch of money for an organization that helps kids get off the street. And it's called the, I think it's called the Texas Can Academy. Basically

you donate old beat up cars and then they sell those cars at auction and all that money goes to like house and feed and educate kids who are either in, you know, juvenile detention or homeless or whatever. And so it's a really cool organization and he does this, you know, 24 hour normathon. And so two years ago, when I heard him do that, I thought, you know, I could totally do that. And then I thought, you know, I'll put something together during my show one of these days to do something. And then when they came up with the previous year's podcast a thon for foundation belief, I thought, man, that's exactly what I should have done. That's what I was kind of working for. But I never really put the plans together. That was kind of my idea and they kind of beat me to it. So, oh, well. And then this year, Dale contacted me and said, hey, we did it last year with this other group. Would you like to try

it this year? And I was like, absolutely. Five grand. And we ended up doing 51. And so we set the bar pretty high. And, you know, I have so much thanks and gratitude to the listeners and you guys and everyone else who did matches to make that happen because uh it really blew us away that we were able to do that you know what i i'd like you to tell our listeners a little bit about foundation beyond belief itself like what what is the nature of the of the work that foundation beyond belief does like what is their what is their mission what where do they because you obviously you know they approached you they wanted you to do this this is this must then be a mission that you strongly believe in so yeah so foundation beyond belief embodies everything you could imagine when

you think about humanism they do giving they do volunteering they do disaster recovery um when you think humanism and you just think yeah i i care about individuals i care about people they put that care actually to work and that's the difference you know you hear a lot of people say well i'm i'm a i'm an atheist and a secular humanist that's wonderful but what the hell are you doing about it are you just saying that in conversations with religious people or are you putting that your boots to the ground and making something happen or supporting a group that's making something happen? They go and dig wells in Ghana.

I mean, they have a Pathfinder team that travels all over the world helping people in witch camps. And there are people in witch camps who have been accused of being a witch and they get thrown into these witch camps. And there are people in witch camps who have been accused of being a witch, and they get thrown into these witch camps. And it's so ingrained in their culture that the people in the witch camps who are wrongly accused still think that everybody else in the witch camp are also witches. And so they go out there to help educate the public, educate the populace, and to

make better living conditions for people all over the world. I mean, it's amazing. If you go to foundationbeyondbelief.org, you'll see a few tabs at the top. There's one that says Inside FBB, Humanist Giving, and Humanist Volunteering. No matter what it is that you want to do, click one of those tabs and see which one fits for you the best. And I really recommend you signing up to either support them monthly or to go on to to become a volunteer and even if you don't want to travel abroad and do something like that or you can't for whatever reason you can volunteer as someone who is the home base for people who are

traveling abroad you can still be a part of these life-changing projects and Foundation Beyond Belief is the place to go so their website's foundation beyond belief.org and i absolutely love what they're doing because when you imagine secular humanism they actually can bring it to life and it's it's mind-boggling the the difference that they're making in so many lives i i feel like what you're saying is that we should put our money where our mouth is but i'm i'm much more used to putting chicken wings where my mouth is so i like there's like a disconnect there i'm having a hard time with. See, leave it to you to take a beautiful conversation about humanism and resort it to fucking chicken.

Don't you dare impugn the chicken wings, sir. Seriously, though, you know, one of the things that you are very gracious to everybody who helped out, but your team, you and your team, did a hell of a job creating 24 hours worth of entertainment for people that was fun to listen to for hours at a time. And not only that, but also getting the word out and networking enough to make sure that there was enough people to find out about this to actually make a difference in Foundation Beyond Belief's next year's budget. You guys did an amazing amount of work. And I know what it's like to raise some money. Tom and I have done a couple of fundraisers, and we try to dodge the credit. But there is some credit to be given to you guys.

You guys did a hell of a job to raise that kind of funds. Really great work for the community, David. Dogma Debate and you deserve a hearty round of applause for all of that. Huge thank you, man. I really appreciate that. I do want to share one little secret with you. I am super, super anal about run sheets. I will not start a show unless I have a run sheet. And a lot of my listeners will hear me bitch about it on air. People ask, what's next? What's going on?

Can we talk about this? I'll be like, can you see the damn run sheet? I put the run sheet up on the screen for a reason. I've got this screen up in my studio where everybody in the studio can see sort of the plan of how the show is going to flow. And there's not a script. It's like a tiny little spreadsheet that has two or three words.

It'll say, you know, Stephanie Gudrumson. And then at 7.30, it'll be, you know, Ferguson, Missouri. And then at eight o'clock, it'll be, you know, crazy song of the week. That's it. It just helps. It just helps us keep on schedule. And we always do guest profiles. We do a two or three page guest profile on every guest so we can have questions for them and talk to them about their lives and things. And talk to them about their lives and things. I did not do a single run sheet or a single guest profile for any of our guests. Every single thing you heard. This was probably the most nerve wracking thing. I've never been nervous to go on air, but I was a little nerve. I was a little nerve wracked at the beginning because I realized about 18 minutes before the show that we had no planning whatsoever as far as what we were going to talk about. We had no content. Everything was focused on scheduling, testing, soundcheck, all the technical stuff, making sure every guest knows in their time zone how that matches up with our time zone and all this craziness that we never actually took the

time to sit down and do what I consider to be the backbone of the show, which is the run sheet. And so every single thing you heard was completely off the cuff ad-libbing. And it really put us, I think, in a spotlight for, okay, this guest just dropped out. What are you going to do? the mics are on and yeah what we realize that we do at four o'clock in the morning when the guest doesn't show up is we talk about large quantities of mayonnaise from costco and laugh until you piss our pants and and some of these some of those segments are actually going to be replayed on dogma debate over the next few weeks i can't during the holiday break so people are going to get to hear some of that. It was great.

When we were on, we got about 40 minutes, right? So it starts out with us. You can immediately sense your regret of having us on within the first 30 seconds. And then I could just tell it was every moment. You could just wait. You're just waiting. You're counting, literally counting the seconds until you can stop talking to us. And at one point, you turn, you're just like, you have run out of things because you're just hoping we don't drop an F-bomb.

Like, all you're doing is trying to say things. You're trying to work around it to make sure we don't drop, and I will say, a F-bomb. I will say another one because Tom did drop one. Although I was sabotaged. Somebody brought up goat cheese or goat milk. Goat milk eggnog. Yeah, that is that's that's sabotage. That deserves no way not to not to utter an expletive. But it was awesome because at the very end, I could just tell you you were you were hoping that we would just hang up like we were just like, no, we're done.

We're done, actually. We're done. If you if you could hear somebody's eyes looking at a clock. Yeah, that's exactly looking at a clock. That's exactly what. Oh, man. No, you know what I kept imagining during your segment? I mean, you guys were in Chicago, right? I mean, that's where you said you saw me or something. Yeah, yeah. Somebody didn't come up and talk to me. By the way, I still don't forgive you.

You were very busy. You were their sound guy. I wasn't going to bother you. That was so ad hoc, man. I was not supposed to be the sound guy. You were, though. There were just problems with their PA system. It turns out you were that guy. I was set up in the other room ready to do my show, and I was like,

oh, man, the speaker's cracking and popping, and we can't hear the speaker. So I just moved all my stuff over during the lunch break and said, hey, I'm your new sound guy. I don't want it to sound like that anymore. And so I kind of voted myself in as sound guy, so I didn't plan on that. You guys know Dale, right? Yeah, I met him once, yeah. Okay, so I've spent quite a bit of time with him, and he's very soft-spoken, very sweet man, very caring man. And I could just, I mean, he got red in the face

watching me do a live episode of Dogma Debate in Chicago. Like, I saw him laughing so hard he turned red and was, like, covering his face and shaking his head like, I can't believe this is happening at our event. As much as we push the envelope, like, on the border of AM, FM, radio, are we going to get a warning letter from the FCC type stuff? And so I was just the whole time imagining, I hope Dale is not dissing this. Because Dale has just got to be bright red just with his hands, his face in his hands thinking, please let the hour be over. What the best part too, David, is after that I listened and we were the bar that was set

for the dirtiest content and the least interesting content every time there was a joke it would be like well at least this isn't cognitive dissonance that was the running joke quite a bit and yeah yeah that was awesome that's great we love to be the low bar we're okay with that and and i learned i learned a little bit about you guys uh you don't like uh you don't like nog just as much as I don't like Nog. We much prefer food. I heard someone the other day say that they knew what Nog stood for. And they said it stood for not okayed by government. And I thought, I bet I could come up with a couple of things that Nog might stand for.

So if you don't mind, I'd like to share those with you. Oh, yeah, please do. Fantastic. It's just a couple i thought i thought maybe this should be printed like on the label uh now optimized for gagging i thought that would be a good one um and if you if you ever have nog in your mouth if you're ever one of those few people who are unlucky enough to taste it, you might refer to it as necklace and overjoyed gangbang. Oh, David, you're making me blush, David.

Man. Don't worry. Dale doesn't have to listen to this one. And, you know, being a father, I've seen stuff, you know, come out of kids. And you're just like, oh, you know. The term navel-oozing gunk came to mind. I thought that might have something

to do with nog. It also has a little bit of a gamey taste to it. And I thought in tasting nog a while back, I thought, this is much like nut of Gamecock. I'm a little disturbed that you were able to draw that comparison.

Yeah, well, trust me, I've had a rough life. You are an outdoorsman, so there you go. That's awesome. There was one, for some reason, I don't know what it is. I can't look at or smell or taste Nog without thinking of Shrek. And so I thought, what if there was a certain Shrek brand, and instead of calling it Nog, they just told you what it stood for, and it's actually Naughty Ogre Goo.

Naughty Ogre Goo. And I've got one more that just came to mind. It would be more along the lines of something you guys would really enjoy. And it's not so much what it's called, but maybe where you would find it. And that would be in the nasty old glory hole.

Nicely done. Agencies of government. EPA needs to be rebuilt. There's no doubt about that. But you can't name the third one? The third agency of government. I would do away with the education, the commerce,

and let's see. I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops. Commerce, education, and the, what's the third one there? Let's see. The EPA. EPA, there you go.

This story comes from the Raw story. Rick Perry shrugs off wealth inequality. The Bible says there will always be poor people. So says the guy who is not one of the poor people. Right? Hey, nothing for me to worry about, because I got mine. This story is kind of incredible. So Rick Perry, I guess, is going to make another run.

He's talking about making another run for the presidency upcoming. And he's really trying to get on the side, I think, of the great unwashed by suggesting that they stay great and unwashed while he walks around in his fucking douchebag glasses. David, you read this story. What did you think? I completely agree with him. There is not a single poor person in all of Texas. I mean, I live here. Hey, I'm right here, guys.

I'm right here in Texas. Why don't I just check for you? Let me sit here all the way out there. Hold on a second. Let me just see if I can make this happen. Hold on a second. Let's see. I'm going to open the studio door. Hey, is anybody broke out there. Hold on a second. Let me just see if I can make this happen. Hold on a second. Let's see. I'm going to open the studio door.

Hey, is anybody broke out there? No? Okay. Okay. Guys, look. That's a survey if I've ever seen one. Nobody's broke in Texas. Wow.

That's the most scientific this show has ever been. There you go. That's amazing. Very true. When you hear a 10-year-old scream no, you know. This guy, Rick Perry, man, I was so glad when he got indicted. I had to just go off. Look, you want to talk about elite and out of touch.

This guy is so far gone. He actually still thinks he has a chance to be the president of the United States. And as bad as this state is and as bad as this country is and as hardcore Republican as most of America is, he's not going to do it. He's not going to make it. He's not going to make it. This is completely ridiculous. I think this is even worse than Mitt Romney's 47% gaffe. Yeah.

What is it with your state, though? Because, you know, we're from Illinois, and we recognize that our old governors, they're criminals. We recognize that when they get out, they're going to go directly to jail. It's actually like a requirement of office. They're not going to pass go. They're going to go directly to jail. We recognize that.

But Texas seems to produce these sort of sassy, redneck, millionaire everymen that decide that they're going to be the president. And in some cases, actually are the president. You don't think we learned our lesson with Bush? I know. You think we'd our lesson with Bush? I know. You think we'd really do that again? Oh, gosh.

I think many of you would do that again in a fucking heartbeat. Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. I find it really interesting. Two major things out of this one story that really just kind of blew me away, that I thought was hilarious. Number one, did you see in there where it says he's not just doing mock interviews he's working with an actor from the royal shakespeare company this is what politics has come to in this country we are not concerned so much with their ideas and structure and management history we want to know how good

they can fucking act that is that is disgusting yeah that our country is to that point. It would be awesome, though, if he delivered all of his speeches in a late Victorian accent. I was just thinking that. He was just like, harketh, what sayest thou? It would be amazing because it'd have this sort of Texas twang to it, too. It'd be great. He just affects a shitty fucking accent. Like a bad Ren Faire accent is really what it should come out with. Like a really bad Renfair accent.

And then the guy has the nerve to say the actual quote, we don't grapple with wealth inequality here. We don't. Meanwhile, the very next line, Texas has the fifth highest level of income equality in the United States. Thank you, Rick Perry, for understanding your constituents. But I think to be perfectly fair, though, I actually think he's right. Because it's clear that you don't grapple with it. You just ignore it. You just ignore it. And this is where, you know, I find it really, really intriguing. When I get the chance to sit down with a Christian that is a woman, or that is a gay gay man that is also a believer, I find

those the most interesting because I feel like the Bible is oppressive to those people, yet those people believe and defend the book that in turn oppresses who they are. And so what I find really interesting is the white broke Republican. Yeah. I'm like, if you look at, at a Texas voting map, you will see Dallas County where I live is blue. And then you've got Austin blue, everything South of Houston, all the border stuff, all blue, everything else is red. Well, what the hell else is left? You got Odessa. You know what I mean? I mean, El Paso is blue. El Paso is Hispanic. That's blue. What you're talking about being red is all these counties where there's like nine houses and all these rednecks and all these like broke ass people in the middle of trailer parks like I grew up. Those are the people voting Republican. And that's kind of mind boggling because the more

liberal stances of the Green Party and the Democratic Party are what's going to help the poorer people. It's not about minorities or races or anything at this point. It's about socioeconomic inequality. And so you would think that these people who were out there in the country, who were living in their single wide trailer with a broke down Mazda in the front yard, is going to understand that Rick Perry's elitist mindset of there not being any income equality in Texas would break down for them. But for some reason, even the brokest white people in the middle of nowhere vote Republican. And this is part of what I'm excited that I'm a part of February 27th through March 1st. The Texas Secular Convention is actually happening. I think it's actually in Austin. We're going to be right there on the steps. I'm giving the first speech of the day at a rally on the state capitol steps, Friday, February 27th. And then I'm actually going to be the emcee for the entire Texas Secular Convention that ends on March 1st. So I would encourage people, if I can plug it for a second, just go to TexasSecularConvention.org.

If you're anywhere in the area, we definitely need your support because this is the type of stuff we're trying to get rid of. Well, speaking of getting rid of, it looks like Rick Perry is trying to get rid of his image as a complete fucking idiot. This story from NBC News says Rick Perry is claiming that he is not the same candidate who ran in the Republican 2012 primaries. He feels he can win the White House, but he says that the presidential campaign is, quote, not an IQ test. Running for the presidency is not an IQ test, says Rick Perry. It is a test of an individual's resolve. It is a test of an individual's resolve.

It is a test of an individual's philosophy. It is a test of an individual's life experiences. And I think Americans are really ready for a leader that will give them a great hope about the future. You're campaigning on hope and change? Just throwing this out there, big guy, but that's fucking been done. That was eight years ago. They totally forgot about that. Wow.

So it's a good thing. I think this actually plays to his favor that the presidency, and I agree, the presidency is not an IQ test. I think George W. Bush definitely proved that an IQ, even being able to measure one, is not a requirement at all. And since it's not, you know, Rick Perry may actually have a shot at this. I think one of his comments about, you know, it's not about what you know, it's about what you can get done. I think technically there's something to that that has some substance. You know, if you set one of the things that impressed me about Obama when I first heard him talking about potentially running for president is they would ask him, well, what would you do about this situation? And he would say, you know, I don't know a lot about that situation. He said, but my my plan of action at first would be to gather the people that do know the most about it. And we would talk about some problem solving ideas.

We would get experts to weigh in. We would review the scientific evidence and we would make the best decision concerning the American people. And I thought, you know, that's the best way of saying I have no fucking idea that I've heard in my entire life. I thought it was a great way to say it because that's ultimately the way real problem solving works, right? You don't, when you're hired in as an expert, it's always made me nervous to be called a subject matter

expert, whether I'm doing radio or technical equipment or voiceover work, whatever it is, because you know what? Expert implies you're not going to screw up and you're going to screw up even when you're an expert. So there's something to that substance. If only he hadn't said 9,000 other things that were batshit ridiculous, then maybe we'd be able to take him a little more seriously. But I think all he's trying to say is, I ain't as dumb as I once was,

y'all go on ahead and give me another shot. Well, he did get glasses and those glasses make him look a little smarter. Charming. I mean, you look at those glasses and you think, like, that's an intellectual. You can tell by the glasses. He looks like a male version of Sarah Palin. It would actually be kind of great if he named Sarah Palin as his running mate and she didn't wear glasses. Oh, my gosh. That would be amazeballs.

And then they both got confused and just started trading them back and forth. Oh, man. Endlessly in their trailer. God, that would be if they could just put that fucking dream ticket together just for the sake of cognitive dissonance. Gosh. Nothing could possibly make me happier. You know, it's funny because they have a lot in common. Not only do they have the glasses in common, but also they can't remember.

Either of them can't remember three pieces of information. If you remember, Sarah Palin had to write on her hand taxes and freedom or whatever when she was giving that. She's giving a speech and she couldn't remember three simple things. And I want to say they were, and she was talking to a libertarian group. So it was something like taxes and freedom were the two things she needed to remember. And that was what scrawled on his hand and he couldn't remember which, oh,

we're going to, which entire branch of the government he was going to close down. Like this is these, that's a match made in heaven. That's amazing. Perry Palin, 2016. It really would be a dream ticket.

You know, one thing that you said, I want to seize on those, like when it, when that idea that like, well, it's not, you know,

it's not your brain thoughts that are any good it's getting stuff done it's like well you gotta have the thought about what you're gonna get done yeah like what what what makes me nervous is that he actually might be able to get shit done like one thing you can't fault george w for is he got done everything he wanted to get done anything he wanted to get done he seemed to be able to push through. Well, even when he didn't, he pretended like he did it correctly. Right? Mission accomplished.

We did it. No, wait. Shut up. Sit down. Look at me. I'm on this aircraft battleship. Like, that's not a thing, George. Aircraft battleship.

Yeah. So, I mean, you got to actually have a fucking vision. Like, can you imagine, like, what is this guy's vision for the future of America if he doesn't even believe in wealth and equality as a problem to solve? You know, the big thing with Perry in Texas has been abortion. Shocking. I find that very surprising. Say it ain't so.

That was the whole Wendy Davis thing. She successfully did the filibuster, and then they went in like four minutes after midnight and changed it anyway. So that was completely illegal, and nobody said a damn word about it. Are you kidding? No, no, no, no. They just did it right there on camera. It was for public viewing. She did it.

She completed it. They were successful, and then they just did it anyway and didn't care and changed it anyway. So now as of this moment, it is illegal for a woman to get an abortion after 22 weeks. So no late-term abortions, no matter what, no matter if the child's life is in danger, if the child has already been predetermined that it's not going to be a viable fetus, doesn't matter. 22 weeks, can't do it.

As a matter of fact, we covered a situation on Dogma Debate where this woman had, she was pregnant and she had some sort of issue where she clinically died. But she was, I think, 24, 23, 24 weeks pregnant and the fetus was not going to be able to make it without her being alive. and the fetus was not going to be able to make it without her being alive. And so her husband had it in her records and in her DNR records, just do not resuscitate, pull her off the machines. And both her and her husband were EMTs. So they had thought long and hard about this.

They'd sat down and done their paperwork together. They'd done their living wills and he knew exactly what she wanted. She said, don't let machines keep me alive no matter what. And so he tried to invoke that right. State of Texasxas blocked him said we can't she's pregnant so basically they had to sit there as her body was used as a cavity to grow this sweet child yeah as a vessel she becomes a pod i mean she's a fucking pod absolutely but because of this law, they could not turn off life support because that would be murdering one of God's creations. And so eventually, after putting this family through hell for weeks and weeks and weeks, about the 29th or 30th week, I think, they had enough doctors came in and tested the fetus and tested her and said, look, the bones in the fetus's legs aren't even forming. The fetus will not be able to survive on its own outside the womb.

And they had enough doctors come in and say, in this already, it's ridiculous that they finally let them turn the machine off. And they had funerals for both the mother and for the baby. But it did not have to go that far. And it's all because Rick Perry let God get involved with the government. So that's what he wants. Okay. But no, hold on a minute. Because when you say it like that, it sounds bad.

But you got to look at the upside that they prolonged everybody's suffering greatly. Right? I mean, so at least they had that going for them. Yeah, because prolonged suffering makes for a better, I think you get free parking in heaven or something. That's it, right? David, if people were going to find your show, where would they go? They would find it at dogmadebate.com. And all of our good works happen over at atheistaudiobooks.com.

David, thanks so much for joining us. And congratulations again on raising that kind of money for Foundation Beyond Belief. You and your team did an amazing job, and the atheist community and secular humanist community really appreciates all the work you did. Awesome. And all bullshit aside, that is a tremendous, tremendous accomplishment

to have a goal of 10,000, to have exceeded it by so much because of the efforts that you and your team put forward to put the broadcast-a-thon together. Excellent. You say that with such venom. It really is awesome. Well, thanks. I appreciate it.

Man, I was blown away by the atheist community and all the Dogma Debate volunteers that helped it happen, and you guys, of course. And I've got to tell you, it still hasn't completely sink in with me. I was, I went to a doctor's appointment today and I was with my wife and we were, we were driving home and we were quiet for like six or seven minutes. Neither one of us said a thing. And I just turned to her and I went $31,000. Can you believe it?

And she's like, I know. That's amazing. So we're still in shock about the whole thing. So yeah, we're blown away. That's great. Well, David, if you ever get that seven-second delay on, we'd love to come back and visit you too. Hey, man, thanks for inviting me.

I always enjoy it. You guys take care. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828.

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We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story comes from Right Wing Watch, Texas pastor. Dirty faggots. Want to snatch and rape your kids. Pastor Steven Anderson

of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Arizona this is the same guy this guy has said all kinds of super super super crazy stuff and he recently ordained Pastor Donnie Romero right so like this is his fucking right hand

like this is his masturbating right hand Donnie Romero this is his masturbating right hand. Donnie Romero. This is his reaching around right hand. It's only a minute and 13 seconds worth of fucking complete hateful diatribe and screed. Do you want to hear it? No. Okay.

I know our listeners don't either, so we're going to play it anyway. And I'm going to explain to you why God wants these people to be put to death. Go to Deuteronomy chapter number 23. Deuteronomy 23. The word of God is very clear that God is against the Sodomites, that they're filthy, and it says that they're an abomination to God. You know, the thing is, there's a lot of shit that's an abomination to that God. Why is it that they just happen to pick on this

one thing yeah i'm just gonna look it up real quick here's one proverbs 111 a false balance is an abomination to the lord a false balance false balance so i guess like what like a bad scale no like if you're like on a balance beam and yeah like the hefty kid on the one side. A false balance. Like you don't have a good work-life balance. Oh man, I've been really burning the midnight oil. It's not really good balance.

I'm an abomination to the Lord again. Man. A false witness who utters lies and who spreads strife among brothers oh yeah those dudes are super abominable but lying about the abominable snowman is that abomination yeah but he i think that comes later i think that's in a different that's like in fucking yetis chapter six or something like that there should be a yetis and, I shall read from the book of Yeti. The thing is, that sounds more like a wampa, Tom.

I don't know. Yeah, it's funny because you say that, but the books that they're quoting, it might as well be an old timey story about dragons. It's the same thing. We just read Exodus. You read Exodus and you can't help but think, this is written by an ancient people. This abomination stuff is like, oh, it's an abomination of the Lord. The Sodomites are filthy. It's like, well, there's no such land as Sodom anymore.

So who cares whether or not the Sodomites are filthy? They don't exist anymore. rip on these queers because it's only getting worse and worse. I'm not going to stop doing it. I'm going to preach it all the time because I, again, amen to what Pastor Harrison said. I'm not going to let any of these dirty faggots inside of my church. Wow. My God. That's great. Now, hold on. Do you think, there's two options here. Was he greeted by gasps and horror, like a horror feeling there? Or do you think that it was just sort of quiet acceptance? What kind of reception do you think a comment like that would receive? I'm going to say an amen.

Let's see if you're right. Pastor Anderson said, I'm not going to let any of these dirty faggots inside my church. And nobody's going to, I'm not going to, these guys, they are. There we go. Look in the Bible. Every time it shows the sodomites in Genesis chapter number 19 and Judges chapter number 19, they're always trying to rape and hurt other people. They're relentless. I've never even remotely been tried to be raped by someone who is gay. I kind of hate that they sort of lump everybody together in that because it feels like when they say sodomy, sodomy is, you know, there's a different definition. There's a couple different

definitions for it. And when they say sodomite, there's a couple of different definitions for it. You know, clearly a resident of Sodom is one of them, but that's where they refer to people engaging in in sexual activity that they don't approve of right that's really what it is and they always sort of seem to bring all the non-consensual stuff back they always seem to bring in dogs and and the rape and child rape they always constantly bring in like pedophilia and all these other things because they just want to they just want to amp up some sort of level of horror so people will be reactionary to it.

They'll hear it and they'll say, oh my gosh, yeah, absolutely, they're constantly relentless. All the gays are constantly relentless, but I won't call them gays, I'll call them sodomites. That's how I'm going to refer to all the gay people is sodomites. Well, you know, I have to think the part of the reason they're lumping everybody together is because it's kind of hot.

You know, it's pressing all those hot, lumped male bodies together. Yeah, I mean, this whole, like, I mean, you're right, right? I mean, we've talked about this a hundred times because this is the only strategy that they have left. And when I see this and he's like, yeah, I'm not going to let those faggots in my church. It's like, nobody's trying to go to your church. Right. Like, what are you talking about? Beating your door down to be like, man, I really just want to hear what you have to say. Like, there's not like

a bunch of like, like disenfranchised, like sad fucking gay people outside. Like, oh, you won't let us in your hate factory. Oh, where are we going to buy our fucking hate today? Man. Oh, hey, you want to go over to that new church? I hear they hate us. Yeah. Oh, yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's swing over to hateville. It's on the fucking corner of hate town, hate street, and I mean

this is like Westboro level crazy. This is the only place, though, where they feel safe, where they can say these sorts of things, because even now they start venturing out into the real world when they're not secluded in their tiny little hate factory, like you call it. Even in a coffee shop, you can't just sit there and say something like this and not expect to turn some heads or to have somebody say, hey, man, why don't you shut the fuck up? to have somebody say hey man why don't you shut the fuck up because you can't sit in a coffee shop and say i hate them dirty faggots because people will eventually either tell you to leave or you know tell you to be quiet or something like that but you could sit in your in your tiny little church with your and it's so funny because he's got a globe that's sitting next to him and this

is the least worldly person i've ever heard speak in my entire life. There's like 10 more seconds of this. So let's, let's, let's hear, let's hear him out, Tom. They are relentless. They are predators and give you an opportunity to snatch one of your children.

They would do it in a heartbeat. They're like, they're like the woman from the fucking Hansel and Gretel. You know, it would eat your child in a second if you let them. The gay people are building

their fucking fabulous homes out of candy to try to lure them in. Delicious, fabulous homes. You know, you hear this and it's just like, fear, fear stuff, fear. You have nothing.

Don't think. Just fear. Just quiet. Just quiet the part of your brain that works. Just always feel fear. When you're not, if you're thinking,

you're not fearing enough. Exactly. This sermon is basically an amber alert. It'd be great if you just went up there like... It's like an amber alert for people who don't know how to think. this guy's beard is amazeballs he looks like he looks this guy now go to this go to this website this is from the telegraph it's on this episode episode show notes once 196 this guy looks like he just walked off the deck of the hms majesty like an english warship doesn't he look like an old-timey, like he looks like fucking Francis Drake for Christ's sakes. If they pan this camera down, I would be concerned if there were two legs.

I look at this guy, I expect a peg and a long sermon about the white whale. I know. The thing is, is I know that there's a parrot somewhere off screen because there's a saber on screen. Somewhere off screen because there's a saber on screen. So this angry Muslim pirate. Yar. Yar, tis Omar Bakri Mohammed. Yar.

Bravo. Yeah. Join me on my hate-filled voyage of anger and disappointment. So he's on Facebook preaching the killing of women and children. So he's been openly preaching on Facebook because we all know that, you know, the kids these days, when they're on the Facebooks

looking for a good sermon on Facebook, they're going to stumble across this guy. Looking for a good sermon on Facebook. Right. Yeah, they're going to stumble across this guy. Now, this is the same guy who was banned from Britain. He's facing terrorism charges in Lebanon, and he's been using Facebook because I guess, like, nobody actually wants to see his actual face to preach this kind of nonsense. And some of the things that he's been saying is, you know, that it's okay. He's basically extolling the virtues of killing women and children. And in case there's any confusion, it's in a section titled, quote,

killing women and children. So it's not like you could misinterpret this, right? No veils. And so he's clarifying the Muslim position. Right. Saying that you have to distinguish between killing women and children and the Mujahideen killing the Kafir, Kiefer, I don't know, the non-believers wherever they find them. I kill a Kiefir every week i love

kefir i just yeah i poured it delicious i put it on my kashi it's delicious there's kefir on my kashi it's like the most it's the most hippie thing i do is the kefir and kashi oh wait you know back in the and it's funny too, because he does look, like I said earlier, he looks like a ship captain. Right. But I always thought that they were more interested in helping the women and children on the ships when they're going down. Isn't that kind of their mantra?

Women and children first. Maybe that's what he's saying. We need to kill the women and children first. Women and children first. Right. They're easier prey. Exactly. Right. Women and children first. They're easier targets for cowards. You know, I mean, I guess I guess I'm I'm being a little I'm being a little disingenuous because he does.

Again, he further clarifies. Right. When you are killing women and children, it's only allowable if they're hiding in such militarily strategic places like hospitals and schools. Right. Yeah. No. Look, I recognize the strategic necessity of hospitals and schools, and so does the U.S. That's why we blow them up sometimes on accident. And I use the air quotes there, Tom, when I said accident. I was like, on accident.

We killed another hospital on accident. When your worldview has room, when you're sitting around like, God, I'm being misunderstood. to clarify and really make crystalline my thoughts on when and where children and women should be murdered. This is the same guy who is responsible for, according to this article, he's responsible for radicalizing Michael Abaduzulu. Oh, that's close. I think that's close. I nailed that. Who murdered that Rigby guy outside the barracks in Woolwich. This is the same guy. They do say that he has been responsible for pushing Muslims within the British community into ISIL.

So I guess the problem is that if you have a worldview that has any room for this shit, and then you can back it up by your fucking book, right? Wouldn't it be easy if the Quran were true? Wouldn't it be really easy if the Quran were really true and it was written by a just and merciful God or inspired by a just and merciful God? It would be easy to write a book that could not be misinterpreted, right? I actually think that that would be an easy task. I don't think that there's anything difficult about creating a moral text that cannot be used to justify the killing of women and children. There know, there are any number of secular philosophers whose works could not be used

to justify the slaughter of women and children in schools and hospitals. The point is, like, this is a religious, like, there's a religious set of ideas that can be manipulated and are being manipulated.

And the guy's not, like, screaming into the void with this shit. Like, he's actually making headway. Mine eyes have seen the glory hole whilst coming with the Lord And he's rubbing out a vintage since his girth is quite engorged He hath loosed his seat, an immaculate stream from his terrible stiff sword His truth is just BS. Glory, glory, glory, ho. Glory, glory, glory, ho. Glory, glory, glory, ho. His truth is just BS. So this story comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. A Wisconsin priest who accused atheists of shunning beauty, fun, and civic-mindedness is cited for indecent proposal.

Monsignor Bernard McGardy, probably mispronounced that, was the same guy who penned this bizarre letter about how the atheists hate Christmas lights and we're no fun. Right. I guess this guy at least, he may have something because he sure knows how to party. He does. When he's getting a massage, he is not shy about asking for the happy ending. He's an 89-year-old man. He was receiving a massage when he lifted the coverings of his groin and asked the masseuse to rub his genitals. When she refused and ran from the room, he called her a derogatory name.

So, I mean, at least the guy knows how to party. He knows how to have a good time by debasing women. Yeah, look, I don't know that i could hold anything against uh monsignor and bernard mccandy here i think that i think that this guy is he's he's got it totally right when he talks about how atheists are fucking joyless human beings though doesn't he i mean this guy really there's this great bit that he goes on where he's talking about how we can't appreciate i guess mozart Beethoven, or any of the... That would be offensive to our ears because, for some reason, we just hate music?

What does that even mean? I mean, you hate music, Cecil. You would never go out of your way, for example, to listen to religiously themed music just because you happen to like the way that it sounds. Just because I happen to like it, right? I just recently went to a Christmas show. It's like a Christmas, I don't want to call it a pageant, but it's like a Christmas concert that gets put on every year. It's in a church in the middle of Chicago.

And you go to this concert, and it's just this entire chorus or choir, I don't know what's i don't know what the difference is to be honest with you um where there's a whole group of i would say there had to be at least 200 people in the in the choir and then they have uh like an opera tenor singer and then they have a full orchestra and they play christmas songs and it they do a light show and it's beautiful it's absolutely wonderful they and they're every light show and it's beautiful. It's absolutely wonderful. And they're every single one. They're not singing fucking Frosty the Snowman either. They're singing really religious songs like O Come Emmanuel and things like that. Like stuff that you

rarely hear unless you're listening to a religious service. But I still go because I think it's gorgeous. I think it's a beautiful concert. It's put on by people that are either professionals or, or going to be professionals. Uh, I really liked the Christmas season. I really enjoy Christmas and I, I don't, this doesn't bother me that people like Jesus.

Like it doesn't, it doesn't affect me. I was just like, okay, great. You like Jesus. I like the music. Both of us can sit here and enjoy it.

There's no praying. They just happen to sing and it's a lot of fun. Uh, I enjoy it. Every year that I can go, I go to sing and it's a lot of fun uh i enjoy it every year that i can go i go i think it's a wonderful time and uh and i know there's a lot of other people like that that like enjoy christmas and happen to be atheists i know that you don't enjoy christmas but i don't enjoy things yeah i you know you you might not enjoy it but you certainly put a lot of work into Christmas, right? I was going to say, it's like the joyless atheist Cecil came to the joyless atheist Tom's house and played joyless Santa for my children.

And you've done it for fucking seven years. Yeah, exactly. And I will do it until the little one says no more right until the little one is like i'm done with that okay okay i'm 35 stop cecil please leave me alone don't come near me anymore actually the restraining order makes it so you can't come near me you're playing santa and fucking june for christ's sakes what is wrong with with you? You know, the thing is, like, the atheist, I don't know, man. Like, we get to have more fun, right? Because we can pick and choose without guilt the parts of religious traditions

and religious ceremonies that we think are valuable and are interesting or beautiful. And then we never have to feel bad. Right. Like, we don't never have to feel bad. We don't ever have to feel bad about stuff. You want to talk about a more joy-filled worldview between Catholicism and atheism? How much sex guilt do I have? Oh, I don't know. I have zero sex guilt ever, and never ever will have any sex guilt. You know, it's so funny when you talk about that, Tom, because it's so true. We take the best parts of Christmas.

I know my wife and I take the very best parts of Christmas and forget all the other stuff. We take the community, right? We take getting together with friends and family during the Christmas season. right? We take getting together with friends and family during the Christmas season. And there was a part of this concert that I went to where actually there's a speaker who says this. He says, the best part about Christmas, and it was a woman this year actually who was doing all this. She said, the best part about Christmas is that Christmas isn't just a day. It's a season. It's a whole season worth of time.'re talking about 30 or plus days worth of time that people are getting into the spirit of christmas i mean there's it's not like in the

middle of june somebody's like hey you know happy fourth of july season or that sort of thing nobody does that but christmas has this sort of season built up around it where there's this this level of goodwill that is done so people go out of their way to help each other out. And I know some people think that that's total bullshit. I actually don't think it's bullshit. I know that people go out of their way to help other human beings at this time of year. I know I donate more at this time of year, especially for people who are looking to feed themselves.

I almost always donate to the food pantry at this time of year in a sizable amount because I know it's necessary. And I was one of those families when I was growing up that didn't have a fucking pot to piss in. And we got a free turkey one year from the food pantry to stop by with a whole big box of groceries. And we were going to be eating fucking craft dinner for Christmas. And we got a huge turkey and a whole bunch of stuff. And it was just given to us by of people that wanted to help another family out that Christmas and we had a turkey and it was a

fucking amazing thing when you know my family was out of work when I was young and so I'd like to pass that on to other people I recognize the necessity of you know community I recognize the necessity of of being with family and and and and family and building those bonds that help you relate to your family and really just make you love your family. I love the idea of giving. I love those very positive things that come out of this season. I think it's great. The idea that this guy says that I have no capacity for that. You know, look, both of us are human beings.

You have the capacity to enjoy Mozart? Great. You enjoy Mozart? So do I. You have the capacity to enjoy a handjob? Hey, so do I. I like a good handjob just like the next guy. I just happen to don't ask random people for it.

And, I mean, it's not really that random. and I just don't ask random people for it. And I mean, it's not really that random, but I think that this guy's watched way too much internet to think that he's going to get a wind-up with a happy ending at the very end of his massage. Right, yeah. I mean, that's something you've got to scope that out first. You really do have to play that.

You've got to make sure you ask the right questions when you're booking that massage. That's a right place at the right time. Totally is, yeah. And not by accident sort of a scenario there. Exactly. But I guess when you're 89 years old, I mean, what's there to lose? The guy got a $250 ticket and a slap on the ass, and that's it.

Yeah, I mean, he was hoping for a slap on the ass, actually. I mean, he was really looking forward to it. He was looking for maybe he was looking for her to massage the prostate too. I don't know. Who knows? I mean it's a full service place. They check your dipstick. You know what I mean? The whole nine yards.

Lubricate all the bearings. Yeah, I can't imagine though somebody looking forward to grabbing his fucking fist-sized chicken skin balls you know what i mean an 89 year old man that's like that's like two cornish hens hanging between your legs oh my god oh we are done with this story oh oh it's like two plucked cornish hens fighting when they walk.

You know what I mean? God. It's just amazing. What is happening? It probably smells like gravy, too. I mean, let's just be honest. No. Skeptic's creed.

Skeptic's creed. No. Oh, God. I got to look at pictures of puppies or something For like seven hours now God You know the thing is the older you get The more your face does resemble your balls

So I mean Look at this guy The guy does have like a fucking droopy drawer Sort of a look to his face Look underneath his chin and tell me it doesn't look like testicles You know what I mean It's a waddle up top. It's a waddle at the bottom.

He actually looks like, you know what he looks like to me, honestly, is he looks like that. Do you remember that show that had like a priest detective guy? Like he's a solve a bunch of fucking mysteries. Priest detective? Yeah, this is a fucking priest that solves mysteries. Wait, what? Hold on a second.

You can't crawl you can't you can't have two professions like that yeah hey priest who solves crimes let's see what the fuck father dowling i've never heard of it he looks like father dowling i mean i've never heard of it he looks kind of just well i see it that's tom bosley he does look like tom bosley looks He kind of looks like Tom Bosley. Oh, happy days are here again. So we want to thank David Smalley, of course, for joining us. David did just some wonderful work with him and his crew, Dogma Debate crew, on raising all that money.

We wish the best for David and the rest of his group. We hope that they get some rest now after the 24 hours straight on the air and things. We hope that they can get some good rest. We're very happy for Foundation Beyond Belief. And just so you know, Foundation Beyond Belief is close to their goal for the money for next year. So if you're thinking about giving money, if you missed the chance to give money to the 24-hour thinking about giving money, if you missed the chance to give money to the 24-hour podcast-a-thon, you can make an opportunity now to give a little money to Foundation Beyond Belief. Try to get them to that goal so that they can have a fully funded year next year, and they don't even have to worry about fundraising until next year. It'll be a

great thing for them to have that kind of money to work with. And they just do amazing work. So we want to thank David. If you're looking for David's show, go to dogmadebate.com and you can find David's show. He actually has a live show on Wednesdays at 7 Eastern, 6 Central. Yeah. Wouldn't it be awesome if Foundation Beyond Belief just started 2015 needing no money. Right. Like if they got to focus, you know, one thing that I want to say real quick is like, it's kind of a shame that these organizations that have, they have to spend so much of their time and energy fundraising to do good. Wouldn't it be great if for just one year they got to spend all of their time and energy

just doing the good? Yeah. And not having to worry about the fundraising? We're so close to making that happen as a community. It would be wonderful to see. Well, this is going to be a short show, no email this time, but we are going to leave you, as we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in

scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces. Cancer cures. Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing.

Crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples. Dragons.

Giant worms. Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards. Vaccine nuts.

Shaman healers. Evangelists. Conspiracy. Doubleak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Hey, didn't you ask for an isolated sound clip of me? One of my producers told me they had to pull some stuff for you. They did.

Let me play it for you. This is, let me just get it up. Hold on. Give me one second. It only takes him a second to get it up. Yeah, literally a second to get it up. I mean, it's so fast. I'm jealous. He's like a 14-year-old boy. I'm Cecil of the funniest guys. up. Yeah, literally a second to get it up. I mean, it's so fast. I'm jealous. He's like a 14-year-old

boy. I'm Cecil of the funniest guys. Yeah, for about seven minutes, and then I'm going to shoot them both. What did I say? For about seven minutes, and then what? Then you want to shoot us both. That's what you said. Wait, I said I want to shoot them both? Yeah, you said play it again. Okay. I'm Cecil

of the funniest guys. Yeah. For about seven minutes, and then I'm want to shoot them both. Yeah, you said. Play it again. Okay. I'm on Cecil of the Funniest Guys. Yeah. For about seven minutes. And then I'm going to shoot them both. Petco can help. Oh, my God. What time did you guys call in? That must have been late.

Oh, man. I don't remember saying that. I remember the seven-minute thing. I don't remember threatening to kill you both. Yeah, no. That was during Andy Wilson's hour. So at that point, you had been up for like 20 straight hours. Yeah, you were pretty slap happy.

Otherwise, you probably would have killed us both. Well, David, if you ever get that seven second delay on, we'd love to come back and visit you too. Sounds great, man. I'm actually, did you guys get the whole clip of Cognitive Dissonance or just a couple of short clips? We didn't get the, I recorded the whole thing myself, but we were told specifically not to

play it because you guys are going to be playing it. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You guys are going to be featured on either the next episode or the episode after that, either December 24th or December 31st, I'm going to replay the whole hour of us together. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, let us know as soon as you know ahead of time so we can tweet it out and Facebook it out. Sure. That'd be great. What is happening? What is that? What is going on with the sound? I don't know. Liesl, can you hear that? Yeah, I can. Where's that coming from? I don't know, man can where's that no man it's not on my end it's like oh weird spanish football

commercials really yeah i have no idea are you looking at porn what's going on there it's like gladiator porn my studio doesn't have any holes in it so maybe