Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 199: Beheadings Are So 2014

Episode Date: January 1, 2015

 

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Gloriole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, it's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 199. It is. Yay! I got it right! Amazing. Amazing. See, here's the trick.

I figured out the trick, Cecil. What's that? Record the show. Okay. Sick. Hopped up on cold medicine, bourbon, and green tea. Okay. And then you'll get your numbers right.

Jesus. That's all it takes? That's all it takes. It seems like you have to go through a lot of work to actually get sick, though, first. I know. I mean, that's the hard part. But I just rub kids from the fucking preschool down the street because they're just fucking little germ factories.

Yeah, yeah. So I just show up and I just like, I don't even need to be there when the kids are there. I just fucking, I lick my finger and I run it across like the toys and then I rub my eye. I was going to say, when you said you rub them, I was going to say you rub them in a completely appropriate manner, right?

Like a 100% appropriate manner. Is there an appropriate way to rub a preschooler now that you think about it? Actually, I guess you could rub their back if they were sick. Okay, yeah. You could give them a gentle patting. And they were yours. Yes. Right.

And you own them. Like if you have the papers. Like if you've got the deed to the children. If they belong to you, maybe. Right. Maybe. If they possess at least 50% of your DNA or you have bought them from a certified orphanage. Certified.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you get a certified pre-owned kid. Sure. You know, they've been tested. No. I mean, you can't just get one from fucking anywhere. What's the warranty though?

You know what I mean? Right. That's the thing. I want a 15 year, 100000-mile warranty on that kid. You don't even get that when it's yours. You get them fucking new out of the vagina, you don't get that. You roll it right off the showroom floor and you don't even get that. You know, they lose half their family.

The moment you take them home. Unless they're white, then you know and then don't even don't even try to trade them in you know that's just a pain in the ass i just go to i just go to like kid max just so i could get the best price on it just retrain them in like what do you have in like a like a smarter more obedient yeah like do you have like one of those smart Asian kids? I'd really like one of them. You know, the thing is, I think to myself occasionally, as my son grows older, I think there's going to come a time where he's going to want to listen to this show.

He's going to be curious enough. And if he ever listens to the back catalog and the only thing that that gives me any relief the only thing that allows me to sleep at night is knowing that that his teenage apathy yeah and eventual hatred for me right right will will uh prevent him from spending the hours necessary to be terribly insulted by the horrible things i have said on this show. If he goes all the way to the beginning, he's going to be completely flabbergasted when he finds out your wife was a Russian bride. He's going to be.

You're right, that old joke. Holy shit. Well, and he'll hear like one of his very first cries was the intro music for the old goddamn from fucking Everyone's a Critic days. And I had to really pinch him hard to get him to do that. Just slap him once and he... That little kid could not take a punch. That's all I'm saying. Oh, man.

None of them can. None of them. Man. I'm not saying I'm a tough guy, but I can beat up a lot of babies. That's all I'm saying. We thought we would do the obligatory end of the year, because this should post what, Cecil? On New Year's Eve? New Year's Day.

New Year's Day. So Happy New Year. Yay. So this is the first day of 2015. Yeah. Presuming that the world has not ended. Right. And I say that, I say that, Cecil, with some trepidation, some fear in my beating heart, because what we are going to cover today, should we survive the end of the recording are the 2014 worst of best of most failed.

This is a sort of a retrospective, if you will, of 2014. In other words, it's the fucking clip show, bitches. Wait, wait, wait. Before you before you turn it off, we're not going to be playing our clips and we're not going to be. No, we're not. Who would do that? Oh, no. And we're not going to be revisiting clips we've already played either. We're going to be finding the funniest ones that we missed throughout the year and we're

going to be playing a lot of those and we're also going to be uh finding some time for some psychic uh predictions that happened last year that uh were supposed to come true this year and some of them are fucking outstanding my favorite guy on there who predicts the craziest shit in the world basically got nothing right so it's going to be amazing. You know, there is nothing normal about being a sodomite. There is no life that will come out of a rectum. You cannot produce life. It's only death. Every time.

There's nothing in a rectum except waste, refuse, and death. So this first story comes from Right Wing Watch. Try to contain your shock. The year in homophobia, 10 of the worst anti-LGBT stories of 2014. So 2014, I actually thought 2014 Cecil contained more anti-LGBT stuff for a non-election year than I would have guessed. Yeah, yeah. more anti-LGBT stuff for a non-election year than I would have guessed. Yeah, yeah.

And especially after a lot of issues were already settled. Right. It feels like whenever people lose, they sort of backtrack a little and stay away from the topic because they know that they can't win it. But this is one of those topics that they just keep going back to again and again and again. They can't stop talking about it. And when I said non-election year, I mean, not general election because America doesn't care about the midterms i mean let's just be fucking honest so you know i know that there were elections in 2014 so just fucking put your pens and paper down stop cackling on your keyboards please um so see so let's go through a few of these i think there were some clips you wanted yeah let's let's start with uh let's start

with pat robertson um this is great because pat ro wanted to play. Yeah, let's start with Pat Robertson. This is great, because Pat Robertson's amazing. So here's Pat Robertson talking on the 700 Club. There's one thing to want to persuade somebody to believe like you do. That's what Christianity's about. To bring them gospel messages, say this is good news

and we'd like you to accept it. That's one thing. There's something else to take the arm of the government to force somebody to do something that is against is contrary to their religion and that's what these homosexuals are trying to do they're trying to force people who are christians yeah they're trying to have butt sex with people that don't want to butt sex well no they're not trying to what they're trying to do is get the government to have butt sex. Oh! Yeah.

So, like, just, like, fucking random, like, IRS auditors. Yeah. Like, you go in and they're just like, yeah, your tax returns look good, but I'm totally going to anally penetrate you now. I mean, yeah, look, we've got to sodomize you. Right. Yeah. But, I mean, that's the bad news. Yeah.

You know. The good news, though, is you're, you know, we actually found you another 5% on your tax return. So that's good. You know, I mean, it didn't take the good. It didn't take the bad. In some ways. You take them both and there you have. In some ways, you could say I'm actually paying you for this.

Right. So when you're done, you feel like a whore, too. To marry them or else face jail. To make cakes honoring them or else go to jail and give their servants over and divulge their innermost thoughts or go to jail now that's the kind of thing we're dealing with these people are are terrorists, they're radicals, and they're extremists. Holy shit! That turned fucking south real quick, didn't it? Fucking Pat Robertson

pulls no punches. Incidentally, Cecil, in preparation for this program, I did do a touch of research. Total number of people thrown in jail for not baking cakes this year. Zero fucking people thrown in actual jail for not baking cakes. yeah bit of a surprise yeah i

the way he's saying it i would have thought there would have been like a whole you know like 60 70 000 people thrown in like basically they took every single baker in the united states lined them up and then it's like one of those old uh one of the what's that old story it's like first they came for the bakers right and then i said nothing because i wasn't's like first they came for the bakers. Right. And then I said nothing because I wasn't a baker. Then they came for the candlestick makers. Right. It's actually, you know, the first one to go was Duncan Hines. And then when Betty Crocker was thrown in the boxcar, then, you know, it was all downhill from there.

And then the last one always goes wee, wee, wee all the way home. All the way home. Right. Yeah, I love that all these people are getting thrown in jail, when in fact, in his examples, none of those people were thrown in jail. Right. Like, none of those examples involved any imprisonment of any kind whatsoever. What's the terrorist act, I wonder?

Like, the terrorist act is- I mean, it's totally comparable to like- Like, look, no, no, no. I mean, let's be real here yeah let's be real cecil if you asked me you know what is it comparable to be told that you if you don't bake a cake you have to pay a fine okay so that's on that's on the one side right yeah and then a pressure cooker filled with ball bearings and c4. That's on the other side. I think that you can pretty readily draw an equivalency line.

I feel like they're the same thing. I can't even understand the difference. Right. They're definitely the same. They're the same shades of gray. Right. That's for sure. I love Pat Robertson.

All right. We're going to move on to this next one is Douglas McKinnon. And it takes a minute or so for it to get good, but he says some really stupid shit. Whether it's in Washington, whether it's in local state houses, whether it's in county government, for whatever reason, the leaders that we're picking are deciding not to stand firmly for traditional values, not to stand for our rights, not to articulate the vision our founding fathers created over 240 years ago. And so that's the problem. I think, again, in the United States of America, there are tens of millions of people that want to fight for those rights. But unfortunately, as we're seeing every single day, our leaders, quote unquote, don't

seem to be willing to do that for us. That's right. Well, and then again, people will look at this and say, the last time we went through this as a nation, we ended up in a civil war. The last time we allowed gay people to get married, we went through a civil war, Tom. I don't know if you remember well i mean it's it's obvious that the that the struggle for the struggle for uh marriage equality is comparable to the struggle for the south to secede in order to keep slavery yeah yeah i think that's no i think that's kind of right where you're at what like yeah well i mean if we look if we don't we don't i mean and what's the lesson to be learned there?

Like, well, we totally should have just let them keep the blacks, you know? Right, right. Man, because otherwise that would be one way to avoid the Civil War. Like, just let people own other people. Yeah, because – What's the big deal? Because I think in a certain way she's siding with the South. Right.

I mean, that's kind of what she's saying. siding with the South. Right. I mean, that's kind of what she's saying. Like, hey, man, like, you know, we got to what we got to do is avoid the war at all costs. So the way to avoid the war is to, you know, to cede our demands to the to the guys making the absolutely crazy claims. Right.

Yeah. Because that's what she thinks is is is causing the problem. I mean, what what do you make of the idea that doing something of this sort would trigger another war internally? Well, we talk about that extensively in the book, and the feeling is that it wouldn't remotely come to that because, again, if you know number one is... Well, we talk about that, but you're so full of shit

that even we can't get there from here. That's what he just said to her. No matter what. Nobody's as crazy as you, lady. Right, like, whoa, wait, wait a minute, look, I'm batshit, but you're fucking like, you're a fucking mountain of guano, alright?

So let me get back to my fucking crazy book of random conspiracies, alright, moon lady? Can I talk about my book again? I want to plug my book, give me a minute. It's an academic platform to create this discussion. But if it moved beyond the academic, then it's one of those things, too, where we're obviously now in the age of instant communication. You know, the world would also know about this country. The interim name for the country, by the way, is Reagan.

You know, the group decided that would be the best interim name until somebody, the voters, eventually decided to pick the full-time name for him. It's so funny that all these people are so anti-gay, yet they gobble Reagan's cock like you wouldn't believe. Right? It's a fucking lemon party over there. My goodness, man. You're talking about some people who love themselves some Reagan, man. Man, we gonna call it reagan let's see what we're gonna call it we're gonna call this the the united states of reagan because he's dead and has nothing to do with this the deification of that guy is just absurd man like absurd it'd be just as absurd if he said he was going to call it harry potter

no but the thing is actually that would be a little less absurd because there is an existing harry potter theme park okay fair right so there is actually a place you could go in the world dedicated to the fantasy world of harry potter let me tell you there is no place dedicated to the fantasy world of the of the sort of grand you. There is no place dedicated to the fantasy world of the sort of grand Ronald Reagan years where everything was perfect and nothing went wrong. Lamest theme park ever. What do you do there?

You just eat like, I don't even know, like really bland food so you don't upset your stomach. Everybody goes to bed at like 6.30. There's dinner at 4 o'clock. And it's fucking early bird special at one every day and people are surly i just i don't even know like it all right there's a couple more here this is uh this is dave a gemma and uh and this is his piece here this is just amazing but it's very short. I think you even have some schools that are teaching the homosexual lifestyle, how to be homosexual or some sort of class that they're teaching that we're paying for. What is that? What's in the class?

I wonder what kind of class do you teach people to become a homosexual in, I wonder. How would that class even work? You know, I'm totally straight. I mean, I like the opposite sex, so I totally took this elective. How to get banged by dudes. How to be really gay. I'm totally not into this, man. I wish I would have taken that other class.

I should have. I should have taken whole back. The other thing, too, is what about the converse class? What's the converse class? Because if they're teaching this, are they teaching a class on how to be a heterosexual? You would think if it was that easy to learn, then all those kids getting bullied and picked on and fucking gay bashed would just be like, I'm just going to go on the internet and learn how to be straight. It's so much easier. Like I'm going to go to fucking Khan Academy and I'm going to fucking click on the how to be straight manual.

I'm going to watch some fucking videos. I'm going to run a couple of tutorials where I fucking jerk off to the fucking Christian approved porn. It's got a little cross in the corner. It's like a silhouette cross. And then I'll be straight again. Then all will be well. And then Jesus will love me again. All right. There's a little more of this. So I think the culture is moving in that direction based on the education in Hollywood. The question is, what are the results if we do that? And I think there's studies in Denmark, Netherlands, Switzerland, and so forth that you can look up. I don't want to give you my opinion

because then somebody will holler, oh, Dave says this, Dave says that. Just look it up and see what the ramifications were when they went that route. And to me, the basic unit of government is the family. If you start destroying the family unit in a nation, the nation starts to crumble from within. Look at the Greek empire. Look at the Roman empire.

So, okay, so you're going to destroy from within. Look at the Greek Empire. Look at the Roman Empire. So you get to destroy the family. So if two gay people get married and then adopt a child or have a child in some way, like through in vitro or some other way, there's lots of ways in which they can have a child. Right. And then they

have that child. That's like a family landmine. So you when when they go out into the world they actually explode other families in something like in some way does it infect the other families and then they blow up and they explode and then they destroy those other families it's like a it's like it's like a atom bomb of some sort. Well, you know, Cecil, that's an interesting theory, but I propose an alternate. I believe that families are like the Highlander. Oh, there could be like one.

So there's an infinite regression of families. So every time a new family is created, it dilutes the power of the prior families. That's clearly problematic. So when the gays get married, then all the power of the prior families. Okay. That's clearly problematic. So when the gays get married, then all the heterosexual marriages become diminished. Just by a little bit. But if a lot of them get married, then it's really bad. That's a big problem. Yeah, it's a big problem.

So what you have to do is you have to destroy all those other gay marriages by not letting them get married in the first place. I see. And then that makes my marriage... I actually love my wife more every time I know that gay people suffer. Yeah. Like every time I wake up in the morning and I'm like, oh, man, I bet some gay people are really unhappy.

And then I just fuck my wife. I'll tell you what. Every day that it's supposed to be the gay pride parade and it rains. Oh, that's just I'm ecstatic. All right. So here's a fucking louis gomert uh louis gomert is talking here and we just love louis gomert on this show big fan of louis gomert he's a friend of the show so here we go and i've had people say hey you know there's nothing wrong with the

uh you know gays in the military look at the g. Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved. It was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into the battle. What? Wait, what the what? Oh, honey, I'm about to go take my sword and hack some people limb from limb. Right, you need a massage. Man, my right shoulder's been a little twingy lately maybe give that a little rub down there

do they give them happy endings too well that's what he's mad about otherwise it's just a friendly massage among bros exactly yeah but you know what it's a different it's a different kind of fighting it's a different kind of war. It's a different kind of war. And if you're sitting around getting massages all day, ready to go in the big plan battle, then you're not going to last very long. It's guerrilla fighting. You are going to be ultimately vulnerable to terrorism. And if that's what you started doing in the military like the Greeks did, as people have said, Louis, you've got to understand, you don't even know your history.

Oh, yes, I do. I know exactly. You studied military history. Not a good idea. That is a person who cannot put together a cogent thought. I'm sitting here saying that. I cannot believe that that person is an elected fucking official for government in the united states i'm absolutely flabbergasted that when he gets asked a question he doesn't just say oh i don't know anything about that i'm not i don't

know that that's a relevant thing to say or anything like that he's got to make something up on the fly as if everyone who's listening to him is so stupid they'll just automatically believe what he has to say what in the world is it about a massage that makes me vulnerable to terrorism it's gotta be a good massage wait a minute hold on a minute because the converse would be true right that that if i had like fucking tight muscles like fucking knots in my shoulders and then a bomb goes off you'd be like oh good thing i wasn't limber. I almost had a massage. I could have died. If I was limber right now, I'd be fucked. Oh, my God.

Yo, science. What is it all about? Technology. What is that all about? Is it good or is it whack? This guy's face, the first face that pops up, looks like it's infected. Like his face just looks infected. Yeah, he totally looks like he's melting.

He looks like, what he looks like is really hot in there and nobody told him. And his fake polymer face is melting off. Or he's got hives. Or he's had them. He does look a little on the lumpy side. Or he's had them for like 60 years. So this story comes from Mother Jones. and the title of it is pretty great. It doesn't pull a lot of punches.

This is the stupidest anti-science bullshit of 2014. A catalog of shame. I love it. And the very first clip is going to come from Fox and Friends with Donald Trump. You can't beat this. All right. So Donald is going to talk about global warming and he's got he's clearly got something to say about global warming. A guy like that, a guy who likes to make sure that his head is as warm as possible.

Meanwhile, we want you to comment on this. Right now, the United States is locked in many parts in historically cold weather. And you rail against the global warming alarmists. You say that this government, this country right now, is spending too much money on global warming. Well, we're spending tremendous amounts of money in our factories. We're redoing everything. You know, we're selling all our coal to China. We're not allowed to use it anymore virtually,

and they do have clean coal, but that's okay. But they don't have clean coal. China doesn't, but we are supposed to clean the coal. Wait, we're not allowed to use coal anymore? What about, that's a big surprise, all the coal-fired power plants that generate tremendous amounts of the energy in our country. What are they using instead?

That's amazing. This guy has no idea what he's talking about. Clearly, they're using used toupees. That's amazing. We're selling all of our coal and most of our coal. That's a big business now to China. Now, we are redoing our factories so they're no longer competitive because environmentally, it

has to be a certain way. And this whole global warming hoax, you know, one of the great things, and if you notice the way the press, they call them tourists, but all of those people on the ship in Antarctica that got caught in the ice, you know, the ice is massive there. They started off in an area that didn't have so much ice, and like within a period of four or five days, they had miles and miles, and they were surrounded by it. Well, they were global warming scientists. Now, the media is not saying that they're calling them tourists because it

doesn't play well to say they're global warming scientists, but they were going there to study global warming. And this winter is brutal. I mean, I'm in New York right now. The airports were closed. Everything's closed. It's freezing. We haven't had a winter like this in a long time. And by the way, forget about New York. Everywhere, it's freezing all over the country. You look at places like Texas, they're setting record lows.

This is a guy who doesn't understand what he's talking about. Nothing. Okay, so I went to the coldest place on earth and there was ice. Right, yeah. Okay, so I went to the coldest place on Earth and there was ice. Right. Yeah. And he doesn't understand that like 2013 and 2014. Like, yes, it was cold in parts of the United States. But, you know, fucking newsflash, big guy.

The United States isn't the world. Yeah. And even if it was still the hottest year on record, even if it was, even if it was, you know, it was still the hottest year on record, even if it was even if it was, you know, cold all over. It doesn't necessarily mean that global warming isn't a thing. If it's cold one year, we're talking about a tiny little subsect of what climate actually is. Weather is just a fingerprint. It's just it's just a moment in time. Climate is different than that.

You can't just say, oh say oh well climate change isn't real weather change is you know you weather change is a thing that you're talking about here you're saying oh it's you know the weather is really cold well the weather is different than climate man you just don't understand the fucking there's a difference between the two that's a common thing that gets touted about people oh man man, global warming, global warming, blah, blah, blah. It's really cold out. Well, that's not the same thing, douchebag. Yeah, it's such a difference.

People don't understand long-term trend lines versus a single data set. Right? I mean, it's like, oh, well, it was cold out today. What about that? I hear that shit all the time. I actually hear that all the time. I probably hear that, I mean, four or five times every winter. Oh, pretty cold out.

So much for that global warming. And every time I'm just like, you should just shut the fuck up because you don't know what you're talking about. And you shouldn't even have a mouth. Your fucking mouth should be sewn fucking shut your mouth should just leave your mouth like fucking i'm out of here shit is ridiculous all right we're gonna listen to one more clip on this page this is uh a montage created by huffington post of a bunch of people saying i'm not a scientist and i thought it was great and i just want to play it we can we can debate this forever. George Will had a column in the last year or so pointing out that in the 70s we were concerned that the ice age was coming.

I'm not a scientist. I am interested in protecting Kentucky's economy. I'm not qualified to debate the science over climate change. I'm not a scientist, but we're going to make sure we take care of our environment. I don't know the science behind climate change. I can't say one way or another what is the direct impact from whether it's man-made or not. I am not a doctor. I'm not a scientist. I'm not a physician. Just to set the table, you began your answer by saying, I'm not a scientist, man.

Right. Because I'm not in a position, to the extent there is any kind of debate about the age of the Earth scientifically, I'm not in a position really to mediate that. A mountain in a desert is a suitable place to put high-level nuclear waste. I believe it is, but I'm not a scientist. Climate change is in large part due to human activity. I don't know the answer to that question. And I don't think science does either. But I would leave it to the scientists to decide how much, what that means, you know, what are the consequences. My point is, let the scientists debate and figure that out.

Well, there's no significant scientific evidence that... Well, I'm a scientist. You know know i believe in peer-reviewed science you know but i don't see any peer-reviewed science that proves that there is you know man-made catastrophic climate change what we're fucked dude we are so fucking boned do you just feel how boned we are dude well i i i it's my great hope that within the next 40 or 50 years everything's still relatively the same after that i'm gone man you're done i'm done man you made all the right decisions i mean there's no peer-reviewed fucking evidence at all no peer-reviewed papers no peer-reviewed science about man-made global warming are you fucking high it's just fucking mountains and mountains of it that could literally bury and

crush you and the other thing is is i think that they say the same thing they say this this over and over they'll say something the effect of well let's let the scientists debate it and and what they don't understand is there's no debate there's there's no debate there's the only people are people who just don't want to pay attention to evidence on the one side and then the people with the evidence on the other side. That's it. That's what you have. And more than that, what they don't understand is that that's not even how science works. Like science isn't a couple of scientists debating and then whoever wins the debate, that's what's true.

Absolutely, yeah. Like that's not how – like you don't's they're so divorced from science as a methodology. See, I really think this is problematic of how like we've got this this anti intellectual strain in America. Right. And we've decided that that it is a virtue to have an opinion without the knowledge behind that opinion to have an opinion and say, well, I'm not a climate change scientist, but, you know, I'm not a climate change scientist. And that should be the end of the fucking sentence, you know, unless it's followed up with. But the climate change scientists all seem to agree that if anything else is part of that equation, it's just like it's fucking white noise. if anything else is part of that equation it's just like it's fucking white noise but you know there's such a misunderstanding of the difference between science as a body of knowledge and science as a methodology to understand the world because it's both things

and there's always this confusion so they're always like well you know what the scientists debate it well the scientists won't debate it. That's not how science works. Like, that's not part of the methodology of science that yields the body of knowledge that is science. Right. Like, you don't understand the fucking verb versus noun distinction that is part of sciencing, you stupid motherfuckers. And yet you're part of the decision making process of our world. Yeah. Like, that's it. Like, we're just like, hey, leaders of the free world, how's the future looking? Well, I'm not a scientist, but I think you're fucked.

Man, it's going to be really interesting if things continue to be to degrade. And you look back on these times in 30, 40 years, if things continue to degrade at this level because people don't want to pay attention to it, what are we going to think about somebody like Donald Trump? It's not that it's just he's an asshole or he doesn't know what he's talking about. It's that he's dangerous. It's that he's a dangerous person. You're going to look back on him and you're going to say, what kind of damage did that person cause? Because he got people to flippantly think that this is not a big issue, that it's actually a hoax, that it's made up by people. I don't even understand why it would be made up at all. It doesn't even make any sense, the idea that it's made up, that someone is just making it up. I don't see the logic behind that at all and people are like oh well it's just made up well made up how and and with what and why what's the what's the motive for me regardless of

how they did it i don't even care about that at that point i care about the motive what's the motive behind making up global warming i've wondered the same thing like when they talk about like well it's going to cost all this money. Well, yeah, okay, all right, I get that. But like we're going to spend that money, right? Like a company is going to spend money and then that's going to go somewhere. It's not like they spend the money and they just like go outside and like, oh, green energy, burn your money. Right. Right?

They spend the money and the money then moves into circulation. It goes toward like jobs and technology. money and the money that moves into circulation it goes toward like jobs and technology and i mean i guess maybe i'm and granted i will say i'll i'll go the caveat of saying i'm not an economist and then i will follow that with saying so i could just be fucking wrong about this but it strikes me that if these like if major corporations if we have to develop a whole new industry, if we as a nation and we as a globe have to develop a whole new industry, and that industry is called clean energy, right? And then underneath that umbrella are all of the different pieces of what clean energy is, whether it's wind or clean coal or nuclear power or solar, it's going to be a combination of lots of different things, probably.

So tell me again how that's a bad thing. Honestly, I don't understand how that's a bad thing. It wouldn't turn maybe as much like right now, maybe oil and gas just as yields more profit in general. But I guess doesn't the other thing yield more money into the economy like creating jobs and then jobs go to people and then people spend money on goods and services am i am i honestly i'm asking like am i missing something you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportion what do you mean biblical what he means is old testament mr mayor real wrath of god type stuff fire and brimstone coming down from the skies rivers and seas boiling 40 years of darkness earthquakes volcanoes the dead rising from the grave human sacrifice dogs and cats living together mass hysteria well see so it's the end times

it's it man it's always the end times no i mean i think this one's for real i'm a little worried about it i mean we're closing in at the end of 2014. Obama is still the president. It is the fucking end times. I saw a fly land on his lip. His Beazle lip? On his Beazle lip, right? I mean, that was a thing.

A thing that I think Rick Wilde said. Yeah, I'm sure. You know, that idea reminds me of that song. Like, it's five o'clock somewhere. It feels like that. It's like, well, it's end time somewhere. Somewhere it's happening already. The end times are automatically happening somewhere.

Let's listen to Matthew Hagee on the Hagee Hotline Report, whatever the fuck his show is called. He's talking about obamacare vicky asks does obamacare increase the risk of america supporting a one world government vicky obamacare is the kind of legislation that causes people to depend more on the government than to take responsibility for themselves what the fuck are you kidding me yeah no i mean look having insurance yeah means that you will depend on the government take more responsibility for your broken leg asshole no no i mean when you get like diabetes yeah and you're like oh i fucking i need like daily insulin injections or otherwise i die That's fucking irresponsible.

Maybe you should have produced more fucking insulin. Jesus. You got a lazy communist pancreas. You know what? That's why you're fucking pink inside. The pancreas is sitting there with a cup like, hey buddy, can you spare a little insulin?

Just spare a little insulin. And anytime individuals are willing to depend more on the government, they are preparing themselves for the kind of global dictatorship that is described in the end times. What? Well, it's like, hey, you're just. He just took two very, very large steps away from the question, I think, and wound up somewhere completely different. He hang glided away from the question. Are you kidding?

That's amazing. Wow. Wow. So wait a minute. So hold on a second. So Obamacare, and now we rely on the government, but Obamacare doesn't provide. The government's not providing us health care. They don't understand. They don't get that shit at all. Did I miss something in the Obamacare doesn't provide like let's like the government's not providing us health care. They don't understand what they don't they don't get that shit at all.

Like, did I miss something? Yeah. Obamacare debates like we're not getting government health care. Yeah. I guess like there's an expansion of Medicare and Medicaid that's a part of it. But it's that's a nominal piece of it by comparison to like the individual mandate piece. Right. And the individual mandate just means you got to have fucking health insurance which you can buy from private insurers and you can't get any

pre-existing conditions now right and then there's a you know there's there's the pre-existing conditions and then there's the you know kids can stay on your insurance till you're 26 and there's some other things in there but like just as a general overview did i miss the part where i get to buy insurance from from the government or where the government just gives it to you evidently because did i miss that you must think we had moved to a single payer health care system we clearly didn't but these people don't understand that and they think that that's what it is they also there's there's this there's this feeling that they have that they want to talk about uh they want to talk about obamacare and say that it is uh that it's it's you like leeching off the government in some way when all it really is, is, like you said, a mandate that people have to get insurance and then making sure that insurance companies can't screw people over and things like that.

And one of the things that I wonder is, did they say the same thing when a bunch of states I think this was in the the 90s sometime maybe it might have been the 80s when they passed all the cars had to have liability insurance right did they say that that was a harbinger of the end times that it was because that's all this really is is just a reinstatement of that just instead of cars it's your body well i guess i guess like why wouldn't medicare like right like medicare is available to to seniors over a certain age right right and and that is actually like that is that is basically health insurance provided by the government so but nobody's talking about taking that away nobody's saying like well the fucking old people are bringing about the end times because they have medicare but somehow if

i buy insurance because now i should is it maybe the subsidies i don't even see so i genuinely don't even understand the argument i can't do it i think i think what they're doing is they're using obamacare as a boogeyman word right they're just saying they say something like obamacare and then they make a bunch of stuff up about it and then they link it somehow with the end times so that you continue to pay your tithe on time without any interruptions right that's probably it like just fucking they just want to put the money in the hat. Yeah. Just are you putting the money in the fucking hat? Now, as Tom said earlier, we can't use the Beazle Lip clip. We also can't use the Ebola clip by Rick Wiles because Rick Wiles, we found him throughout the year.

But this is Pat Robertson just blathering on his 700 Club. This small, hearty band of Christians set the stage for what would become the freest, most prosperous, and some would argue the most spiritual nation on Earth, all based on biblical principles. Ladies and gentlemen, our warning should be today, we can't lose that, and when you have courts that are taking away

the very essence of our democracy, the very, well, the ground from which this great country came. He just exhaled and he didn't really say anything. He was just great. What he was doing was cradling his hands as if he was sort of rubbing the imaginary balls of a ghost is what he was doing. When courts are saying that is unconstitutional, when they're exalting aberrant lifestyles and saying that's constitutional,

when they're defying the very essence of this nation, they are sowing the seeds, not of a new prosperous nation, but of the destruction of the one that's already here. Yeah, because when they founded, I don't know if you knew this, Tom, but this is an interesting fact. When they, right after they signed the Declaration of Independence, they all went out, found a woman, and had sex on the Declaration of Independence. They went out of their way to say, okay, look, we want to found this nation, and we want to make sure that we send this off. So let's go to the pub. We'll get ourselves a wench.

We'll bring her back here. I'll put her ass on it and we'll bang her right here because we want to make sure we ensconce in this nation heterosexual sex in some ways. That explains the no fat chicks clause. Right. That's terrible. That explains some of the stains on that thing. You know what I mean? What a fucking goober weird thing for him to say.

Yeah. Not surprising thing to say. Yeah. Not surprising thing to say. No. That's why in the archives the word is very true. Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. Eternal vigilance. And if we're not vigilant, we're going to lose it. We're going to lose what?

We're going to lose it. Don't lose it, Cecil. It's over. Don't misplace it. Some would argue that Pat Robertson has already lost it. Look, this nation's prosperity is like its car keys. And if gay people have sex, we all know that your car keys get lost. Right.

Yeah, exactly. And STDs are like the clapper. All right. So here we go. This is another one. All right. So here we go. This is another one. This is Pat Robertson again talking to some other joker on his 700 Club. When Hitler took over, he took over the church. As you know, the Reich Church, they banned the Bible. They banned the cross. They banned the preaching in prison. Dietrich Bonhoeffer went to a concentration camp, was hanged. He had to create an underground seminary to keep the gospel alive, to keep the word of God being preached.

But a lot of Protestants either opted for the right church or thought, well, you know, you can't buck the system. And yet men were heroic in the fact that they did and the question raises for us today you know we just as an example 55 million children have been murdered by abortion in our country we're getting close to 60 million in the next year or two that would be if we get to 60 million million we will have killed 10 times more americans than the naz Nazis killed of the Jews. Now, we know the judgment that came on Nazi Germany, and we feel like it was, you know, correct. It was just what do we think is going to happen? Where the fuck is God then? I mean, what is he fucking asleep? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. The judgment on Nazi Germany. Germany is now the most prosperous nation in the EU. What are you talking about? The judgment after World War II, Germany did just fine. Thank you. I mean, it took a few years to recover like it did for all of the nations involved in the wars. You know, it did take some time to recover. But I mean, here we are 60, 70 years later, and Germany is now the number one economic force in the EU. That's God's judgment.

God's judgment is like, was God on the beaches in Normandy? Was God on D-Day, like, fucking leading the charge? And also, you could tell there what he's trying to do is say, hey, I'm going to make a really vague comparison between uh nazi germany and getting an abortion and they also use that language the children we killed children like with some kind of weird child sacrifice thing going on right no a lot of those are like fucking blood spots yeah 20 weeks or less it's like i'll tell you yeah it's a salamander. I'll tell you a lot of them that are, that are very young when they're like a couple weeks, four, six, eight weeks. That's not a thing, man.

No, man. That's not a thing. You, you, you have fucking more live shit coming out of your nose. You know? Yeah, man. It's like, you know, you look it up and you see like, okay, at four weeks, it's like, is it even a grain of rice? You know? No.

It's the size of a fucking poppy seed. It's a poppy seed. I'm going to get upset and be like, this poppy seed is a baby. This poppy seed is a human being. No, it's a fucking tiny, tiny little clump. Yeah. It has no brain. It has no individualump yeah it has no brain it has i mean it has no individuality it has no it's ridiculous 60 killed 60 million children that would be a real

thing if it was a real thing yeah yeah if there was fucking just like mass graves full of 60 million yeah that certainly would be right that would be fucking bad man i would be right there with me i'd be like man i really don't think we should be killing millions upon millions of children. That's a bad. We shouldn't do that. Look, I'm fine with 100,000 children. Right.

You don't have to use a quote. It's a cool line. Hundreds of thousands of children. But the moment you tick that fucking odometer into a million. Over the million. Now I'm pissed, okay? 999,000. What day is it?

December 31st? Okay, you're good. We're good until next year. We didn't tick it over. We started a new year. We didn't blow up our quota. All right, so here's the last clip. This is a clip about the war on Christmas.

We're talking about the war on Christmas. DefendChristians.org for more information. Gary, you have a great quote on the war on Christmas from Franklin Graham. Tell us about that quote. Well, yes, and to his credit, and I appreciate his leadership in this respect. Oh, he's been great. For example, with his politically incorrect prayers for our military and so forth. And he's been, yeah, he's had discrimination that he's dealt with because of that.

And so, on this issue, again, he's done well in articulating, I think, our position. This is a few sentences,

but let me read it to you. This is from Franklin Graham. Unfortunately, the United States in the last few decades has witnessed increased hostility toward the sacred nature

of Christmas, erupting into what has become a blatant war on Christmas. That's because, at its root and core, the war on Christmas isn't really about Christmas, it's about the Son of God. The war on Christmas is a war on Christ and his followers. It's the hatred of our culture for the exclusive claims that Christ made. I don't even think about Christ during Christmas. It doesn't even occur to me.

It doesn't even occur to me. I recognize that people do, and I think, great, if you do, good on you. Whatever you want to do is fine. It doesn't bother me. You want to put up a Christmas tree and your nativity set, and you want to say prayers, and you want to go to midnight mass and all that, good for you. Good luck.

Have a great time. I hope you enjoy your Christmas season. And I don't say, like, I don't go out of my way to say happy holidays. I say Merry Christmas all the time. Merry Christmas. season and i don't say like i don't go out of my way to say happy holidays i say merry christmas all the time merry christmas because i recognize where i think that the that the day itself comes from and it doesn't bother me that it happens to be religious in nature i just don't get all of this bullshit uh fake victim syndrome that they keep throwing at us well if they don't feel persecuted then they can't be the majority minority yeah right and that's really like what they're going for they're going for

like they want to be the like oh nice guys finish last what what like it's fucking ridiculous it's so pathetic it's like it's like it's like they want to pity fuck yeah you know what i mean yeah like oh all right it's fine fine just come quickly all right it's so it's so lame and bland and uninteresting like oh man the war on christmas motherfucker are you are you fucking insane it's a national fucking holiday yeah it's celebrated in every fucking christian church of which there are a fucking gurgillion across this great country of ours right the christmas season starts fucking like a week before halloween yeah like every store and every fucking place you go to they're're bombarding you with Christmas music and Christmas lights and Christmas fucking cheer.

You can get a goddamn gingerbread latte from about fucking September 3rd all the way through the end of goddamn February. And you're going to tell me there's a war on Christmas? If there is, you're fucking winning. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth you can't handle the truth so cecil 2014 had uh a lot of psychic predictions as they as they all do um

2014s this is from relatively interesting.com some of the psychic predictions that failed to come true now before we before we go through those i do want to read off a few of the uh major items from 2014 um that were not predicted at all so these were some these are some issues these are amazing these are always amazing right these are always this is your fucking evidence right this is the evidence these are things that fucking blew up that were all over the newspaper and if you're fucking if you're saying you're a psychic and you missed any of these, you should just hang up your fucking psychic psychic ballerina shoes and walk away from being a psychic. Right. So here's what was missed. The rise of ISIS, Ebola, the Nigerian schoolgirl kidnapping. The Korean ferry capsizing.

The Ukraine crisis with Russia and the annexation of Crimea. Malaysia Airlines flight disappearance. The Malaysian flight that crashed in the Ukraine. Israel launching their fucking major operation on the Palestinian Gaza Strip. The United Nations and partners launching airstrikes against ISIL and ISIS, the drop in the prices of oil, the Rosetta spacecraft landing, the ice bucket challenge.

I mean, how many people partook in that thing? Like, that didn't cause any... The deaths of celebrities Philip Seymour Hoffman, Maya Angelou, and Robin Williams. So because they're always predicting who's going to fucking die. Yeah. So that's what they miss. Like, oh, man, all that snuck right past me. My favorite guy who does these psychic predictions, and these are from 2014, is this Lamont Hamilton?

Is this Lamont Hamilton? Because some of the shit he says now there's a lot of people that just throw shit out there that clearly you're just looking for an easy hit. You're just looking for something. You're going to say something like earthquake 5.6 in San Diego. OK, come on. And the thing is, they didn't even say in San Diego. They said in San Diego, San Francisco, New York, Alaska, and New Zealand. I mean, all those places except for New York. Yeah, bring a fire, right?

Yeah. So places that are prone to earthquakes will have earthquakes? Yeah, exactly. And then they say something like, new storms and quakes in South Pacific and Southeast Asia. That's just, I mean, that's so bland and vanilla. Right. Of course. Or this is a real, probably an easy hit would be brazil wins

the 2014 world cup because brazil was doing so well and you know i mean that's like one of those where you're just like oh well brazil's always good at hockey or hockey you pulled a meat brazil's always good at soccer i don't know anything about either of the sports i guess it doesn't matter they're interchangeable to me what's that soccer's just or hockey's just soccer on ice anyway um so let's lamont though he says some shit you're just like are you fucking serious a discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another it's amazing Who would do that? Oh, God, I feel awful. Take this, Cecil. But he did pick one.

I think that's an easy one is we'll lose one of the past presidents or first lady. Well, you know, you can't you're not a young person when you go to become the president of the United States. Right. And, you know, as time goes on and we have a lot of people that are sort of nearing the end of their life in that in that fucking group of people that are ex-presidents. That's an easy one to pick. And if you just said that every year, probably what? Within the next five years, you'd probably be right twice.

Yeah, you're going to hit that. Plus, you've doubled your odds by including the first lady. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So you're doubling down there. Yeah. I like Sidney Friedman because his are just, like, super weird. It says that he claims a documented prediction accuracy of 71%.

So here's some of his that I just love. And I'm just going to read these out. Garlic is in the news. Hey, honey, what's on the news? Uh, garlic. Again. It's only on the news. It's only on the news in the Malto Mario channel.

Garlic in the news again? Oh, man. Sidney Friedman predicted it. Oh, it's amazing. Here's what I love chivalry just chivalry just that's the whole thing it's all it says chivalry oh that's just fucking amazing oh yeah i predict chivalry my favorite is there's a there's a person who uh psychic nikki who does the same thing but hers hers are awesome. She has one that's just sinkholes. I like this

one also by the same, by Sidney Friedman. It says, in the 2014 elections, Texas turning blue. And you can tell that she was thinking that hell was going to freeze over because the next one was snowfalls in southern Florida. That's awesome. That is amazing.

Here's another one from this is from Psychic Nikki. I'm going to read two in a row. The first one is power blackout. And the next one. And I guarantee she was right on that one. I mean, how fucking vague is that? The next one, Empire State Building. Yes, there we go.

Yeah, I'm predicting the Empire State Building. You're a little late for that. She also predicted that Mount St. Helens would re-erupt. She is a real pessimist. Tell you what. Of all the ones, Psych nikki is like yeah man because she's got some fucking evil shit in here like uh a huge earthquake in the caribbean okay fine a terrorist attack in toronto terrorist attack in london um but then also like a nuclear

bomb going off an attack on air force one right yeah good luck with that. Attack on Vatican of the Pope. I mean, hers are just... If all this shit came true, it would be fucking insane. That is the end times right there, for sure. A chemical attack on the United States. Fire and explosion at a subway in New York. A cruise ship breaks in half. A chemical attack in the United States. I mean, it's just like everything.

She's predicting all of the bad things. These are amazing. A meteor crashing in China. No kidding. China's fucking huge. I'm sure a meteor hit China. It certainly hit China. Yeah.

I like this one. A tornado destroys most of Kansas City. I love that. Which Kansas City? Yeah. You didn't even define your Kansas City. I like this, too. More health issues for Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip.

I have no idea how old Queen Elizabeth is, but I think she was around like during the Mesozoic era. Her shawl is made out of saber tooth tiger. She's got like a fucking, she's got a velociraptor hat. She wears around like a jaunty velociraptor cap that she walks around in. She rides to her ceremonies in her Triceratops car. Ridiculous.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, she's 88. Fucking 88 years old. Are you fucking shitting me? Of course there's going to be some health problems with an 88-year-old. The health problem is that she's 88 years old. Yeah. Like, that's the problem.

So 2015, Cecil, let's take a quick look at some of the predictions. Okay. For 2015, here's my favorite. Weird plankton in space. Yeah. No, weird plankton in space. That's going to be a sitcom, right? She says, I predicted a strange luminous plankton as seen under the sea that cannot be explained by scientists.

I got this wrong, but may have been getting a glimpse of another odd discovery about plankton as a strange luminous new plankton was discovered in outer space. So there you go. It's plankton from space, Cecil. What's his first one? Prince Harry will get engaged. Did they just get married? Yeah, I thought. Didn't he? I don't know. I don't know anything about the princes, man. Are there multiple princes? cecil what was his first one prince harry will get engaged did he just get married yeah i thought i didn't i don't know i don't know anything about the prince's man yeah i have no idea i don't even

know in any case i just think it's maybe maybe he didn't i don't know whatever he's gonna get engaged he's a young man what the fuck what a dumb prediction yeah like young people will get married to other young people and the other thing too is what kind of fucking – how do I act on that? Your predictions should have some sort of thing in which they're going to be able to help people. What is it going to be? Am I just going to avoid – what can I avoid if I find out someone got engaged? I've never understood the predictions that – why is it that they have like bigger ripples or whatever? Like, like, okay.

I get why we pay attention in the fucking earthly plane or whatever to these celebrities. But does that mean that like the spirits are also dialed into us weekly? I guess. Yeah. Why would, why would they have any idea? Like, why would their engagement, like, are they watching like like fucking e-news i like this one strange fluctuations in the earth's magnetic field detected there we go it's happening 2015 major volcanic eruptions in japan and hawaii what is what is

major mean i don't know yeah right and no surprise if that happens right you know uh she does say that i feel that 2015 will be a year with a lot of maritime problems and there could be a very serious disaster akin to the sinking of the Titanic. Now, she does go out of her way to say that she bases this on a number of prophetic dreams. Oh, okay. So, you know, I mean, I feel like that's legitimate. It's got to be. That's got to be from somewhere. Look, if you're not, you know, you just throw out all the prophecies where you don't have the prophetic dreams.

I mean, if you don't have a dream about it. You fucking charlatans. They're not having dreams. What the fuck is wrong with these people? And psychic Marilyn Isaacs Kaufman also has some predictions. Cecil, this is from the IndyStar.com. Who gives these people fucking any time? We do.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, this one is like, her predictions are really pretty bland. But, you know, it's like really specific stuff because it's Indianapolis. Like, Colts in the upcoming Super Bowl? I'm not feeling it. Okay. Yeah.

Neither are the Colts. There we go. So. Yeah. Neither are the Colts so yeah neither are the Colts bro right they'll tell you that yeah how many teams are there yeah there's uh 32 teams yeah so chances are name any team and say no and the chances are with you and and also and also look at how lukewarm that is I'm not feeling it well what not feeling it. Well, what if they did get to the Super Bowl? Well, I wasn't feeling it, but they did change something. Whatever. There's an easy out there.

You know, I will say that she's a bit of an optimist. So as opposed to a lot of the psychics that we had covered before, when it comes to the Middle East, she says, I think we're going to see the last of the doom and the gloom. So the Middle East, it's on the uptick. Right. Well, it's only been literally centuries. No, I mean, look.

Look, 2014 was a little rough in the Middle East. I'm not going to lie. There was some tension in Israel, a little touch. There was a little clash you may have heard in syria and iraq and was there i missed it yeah there was i mean there was little doings that transpired but i think yeah i think 2015 they're all just gonna like wake up you know fucking january 2nd rub their eyes and be like oh we should totally just stop beheading people we've been i was like kind of that's like that's fucking old that's like 2014 beheading people. I was like, kind of. That's fucking old.

That's like 2014 beheadings. It does go out of vogue as well. It'll be like fucking tight rolling your jeans. Like somebody will be out beheading somebody. That's so 2014. So this upcoming Monday is going to be our 200th show. We'll see how long it is. It's going to be my suspicion that I'm going to try to cut it down if I can to be our 200th show. We'll see how long it is. It's going to be my suspicion that I'm going to try to cut it down if I can to make it into one show and then just load all the extras onto the Patreon page for our patrons.

I think there's going to be a lot of extras, though. We have a bunch of different guests that are coming on. If you want to get your – you have about a day at this point because it's going to be – we're going to be posting on monday but this is going to be released on new year's day you have a day or so to get together something to send to me if you want to get uh get your podcast or something mentioned on the air uh you wish us a happy 200th and uh and we'll play it as long as it's under 30 seconds so uh so try to find if you wanted to be one of those people who plugged your own show this is a great opportunity for you to do it. So, uh, so take the opportunity to do it.

You could also call us on our phone line and, uh, and leave a message for us there. Uh, probably the best way to do it is to, is to actually record it on a voice memo. But if you want to call us, you can certainly do that. Uh, we're looking forward to getting a lot of calls this week and we're going to hopefully put together a nice long string of people wishing us to happy 200th and a few plugs for different podcasts it's going to be a really big show next time really big show yeah we've got some we had a lot of fun recording with all these guests we even uh hopefully are going to have an in-studio guest appearance um so we've had we've had a ton of fun it's been a lot of work um and we've recorded a whole lot to make

this 200th episode something kind of special. So we're looking forward to releasing it. We're looking forward to putting it out there for everybody to listen to. And I think there's certainly going to be well more than the typical hour, hour and 20 minute of content. We certainly recorded much more than that. So, you know, hopefully look forward to some extras as part of that. Well, that's going to wrap it up for this episode. We're going to leave you with the skeptics. Creed credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter.

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