Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 207: Two Girls - One Syringe

Episode Date: February 12, 2015

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 207 and after our prior episode where we were joined by seth from the thinking atheist we thought we would take it easy take a step back stop thinking and do a regular stop thinking completely it was exhausting the level of i mean honestly see sure the level of of professionalism yeah and thought yeah i and goodwill that man brought to our show i mean i had to fucking i had to spray paint and and uh hose down the whole studio just to get rid of that vibe man i had to fucking light whatever the opposite of sage is like rosemary i don't know right yeah like a parsley it was like fucking bacon a turkey in here yeah yeah i i i'll tell

you that all that thinking last time i had to just consume so many calories to think i was just consumed i mean i guess i do that anyway but i was consuming maybe it wasn't more maybe it was about the same actually yeah i was gonna say i mean there's like there's a limit right physically the number of calories that a body it's true can take in a day it's true because there's only a certain amount of food that can get into my mouth no matter how fast i stuff it in there it just she's like consisting entirely on a diet of fucking salted butter and sugar that's it just like roll the butter and more sugar. And it's on a conveyor belt leading to my face.

Yeah. You melt it down so it goes down smoother? Just having a smoothie of butter? That's what you wash your mouth out with after you brush your teeth, you know? You've got like a jar of scope sitting in your bathroom, and it's just congealed butter. It's like ghee with sugar in it. Like, that's it.

Gargling it out. He's like, after a nice meal of butter, I like to brush my teeth with more butter. Let's fuck! I'll fuck anything that moves! So this first story comes from theguardian.com. Try to restrain your shock that it did not actually come from the raw story, but don't worry. We'll get there.

Yeah, oh yeah. Orthodox Jewish community turned on victim after sex abuse allegations. No great surprise here. This is this is what the Jewish community, the Orthodox Jewish community is good at. Like they have they have a certain like they've got like a set number of like really awesome things that the Orthodox Jewish community is good at. Right. You know, they're they're good at turning on uh sex abuse victims they're awesome at that they're awesome at curling their sideburns that's just that's not a skill

that does itself they're awesome at really juddy beards like beards that just sort of jut yeah that's true like you got i mean because you know, that's a certain there's a certain fucking skill level to having that fucking ski ramp facial. Absolutely. You can like run a matchbox card on that thing. Hell yeah. You know, and then they're also you know, they're they're just super awesome at like coming up with like crazy Rube Goldberg ask ways to avoid working on Saturday. Sure. Yeah. You know, because that's like a thing within that community.

Right. sure yeah you know because that's like a thing within that community right like they've got to like they can't do like even the most mundane task like the most fucking ordinary boring everyday kind of shit like you know like they can't like press buttons in an elevator or like pick up a skillet and make an egg like they can't do shit because it's fucking saturday and they're like i gotta rest so but the world is still a world so i have to find a way to trick god you know it's fucking Saturday and they're like I gotta rest so but the world is still a world so I have to find a way to trick God you know it's like that's your real lending thing yeah the only way to navigate that would be get some kind of like

crazy fucking Sabbath eye dog or some Sabbath eye yeah exactly you need a but the problem is is that I don't know that a dog would be able to reach up that high you what you need is like a Sabbath helper monkey is what you need. It's so hard to find a little black tuxedo to fit the monkey. Because you've got to get little tiny tailors to measure out their itty bitty inseams.

That's true. Or you could go to like a circus resale shop. That's the most pressing thing I've ever heard. A circus resale? Secondhand circus animals? Oh my god. Look at this. They're like, they're no longer good for shooting out of cannons.

At some point, the circus master stops and is like, no, no, no. We just can't load another monkey into that cannon. Sell them. Consignment. We get like we get like 15 percent right it's fine yeah oh you come over to somebody's house and there's just like an elephant washing the dishes where'd you get that oh yeah the circus secondhand store it's fucking amazing you can think these you guys can go to like the circus pawn shop and just have fucking sad monkeys like doing like trapeze tricks like looking for their forever home. Oh, no.

The thing is, is if you put the monkey in the tuxedo, though, then he becomes Jewish. So now you need a smaller monkey. So it'd be like a monkey with a smaller monkey that has to press the buttons. So then I guess what you got to do, though, is you got to start with a smaller monkey that has to press the buttons then but so then i guess what you got to do though is you got to start with a huge monkey so the only way not to end up with an infinite progression of monkeys it's like a silverback gorilla it's like they got like a fucking orangutan like just sitting there like being a fucking lazy orange but it's got the fucking yarmulke you know it's got like the little fucking jewish hat that it's wearing. It's like, hey, Murray, what are you doing? And the thing is, too, how many bagels can they eat?

At some point, you just, I mean, oy vey, you run out. It's just fucking bagels and lox everywhere you look. The constant bagel and banana sandwich in their hand. Just can't keep it out of their hand. This is terrible. This is terrible. Murray, can you slice the banana real thin for me? Will you put it on the slicer there and run it real thin and put it on there?

Give it a schmear, too. Can you give it a schmear? They're constantly criticizing you. Like you don't make enough money. What's gotten off the rails? You walk into the fucking, you know, like all you want, all you want is a fucking, like a Sabbath monkey just to help you with the basic fucking everyday tasks of navigating the Sabbath. And it's just fucking busy, like hurling its feces everywhere. You're like, that's not helping.

What are you doing? Although a well-aimed feces could press the right elevator button it's true but then would that be working like would god be like i think that was an intentional feces hurling down to hell you go well fuck it it's a monkey who cares it did it not you yeah they do i guess that's true they don't really like to animals in the jewish tradition do they have souls yeah but i i don't think i i don't know that i'm right about this but i don't think there's a heaven and a hell for jewish people either well then what would you worry about breaking the commandments for i don't think there is i don't think there is a jewish heaven i don't think there is either actually now that i think about it but then

that does rather beg the question about why would you be so worried about pressing a fucking elevator button they have a place called shale which is like a bleak sort of underground place that they go i guess so it's like west virginia literally anywhere south of here yeah no it's not that bad yeah it's not it's oh that's terrible so yeah i i think you're right though they they do do this all the time and and you know it's crazy that they're uh that they do this because these are the people in their community that are the innocents these are the people who are being victimized by the bad people in your community and yet you're still willing to turn your back on them because they fucking told somebody about your secret handshake or whatever and you would think that the if you're going to ostracize a member of your community maybe pick the pedophile you know

you would think there would be an easy target you know it seems like it seems like you're you're sitting around you're like having your fucking council meeting or you know it seems like it seems like you're you're sitting around you're like having your fucking council meeting or you know whatever and you're like well we got to figure out who we really i mean and i guess i understand that like within these crazy insular religious communities you know because i mean these like crazy orthodox religious communities are i mean they're they're no different in a lot of their structure from like the Amish or the Mennonite communities right there. The whole idea is to block off the outside world and create a world within the world, create an environment or a community within the larger community where people have, you know, their own sort of quasi justice system, their own set of, you know, the council of elders or whatever they fucking call themselves that arbitrate different rules and decide on, you know, who gets to, you know, be with who or, you know, so they have these these really insulated religious communities

that they don't welcome outsiders and they try to avoid contact with the rest of the world. And and so, like, I get I guess I understand, like, conceptually, this idea that, like, we'll take care of our own. But, again, if you're going to, if the decision at some point is to be like, well, fucking, we got to give somebody a hard time. Yeah. And you don't choose the pedophile? Yeah. So this story comes from theheraldson.com.

Rabbi Yosef Feldman tells Royal Commission it is't know it was illegal for adults to touch children's genitals. Wait, he didn't know? He didn't know. Yeah, they asked him. He said, Counsel Assisting the Commission, Maria Geras, I'm probably mispronouncing that, asked directly, quote, Did you understand that it was against the law for an adult to touch the genitals of a child i didn't know that as a fact he said he said he said he thought it was a figurative law he's like it's not a literal law i mean

i thought it was more of an opinion yeah right i thought i thought maybe you know grown-ups fondling the genitals of children was like, I mean, don't get me wrong, I knew it was kind of frowned upon, like lima beans, you know? But I didn't know it was illegal. Right. What the fuck? Is this just one of those things where he just wants to get out of trouble. So he's just saying something because you can't.

I mean, do we really believe that he doesn't think that that's not a fucking bad thing? You know, I can't I can't possibly imagine how it's 2015 and any human being who has access to any source of media whatsoever in an industrialized nation, is it all laboring under the apprehension that there's possibly a scenario where you're like, well, maybe you could touch the little boys a little, you know? Maybe just give them a little ball tap once in a while. I don't even know. And, you know these are the same people though this is the same community though that thinks it's okay to suck the penis of an infant right because well that's how you stop the blood after you ritually gore them oh right right you know i will say though that he he said he didn't consider child sex abuse to be a common problem.

Quote, there are many issues of life and child sexual abuse I didn't believe was very common. Even now, I don't think it's common. It happens. He says that he says that this is the part that that's really appalling. He says, I haven't seen the statistics, but I would believe it. The prevalence of child sexual abuse is about five to ten percent that's fucking one in twenty kids at his lowest figure that's an appallingly high number is getting fucking anally fisted by an adult and that's cool he's just like yeah i don't think it's that big a deal. What I'm saying is that on any given school bus, at least three of those kids have been abused. Right. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And the bus driver might stop on the way to abuse us. Oh, shit. What kind of world do you live in? This guy is in a he's in another world and this is this is commonplace though for for this group because they separate themselves from society

in such a big way that i feel like very often when they are confronted with society they're just fucking completely flabbergasted yeah and know, this is the same guy who in 2011, he told his community that they should be dealing with this shit internally, otherwise they'll seem impotent. Well, this is another example of we need to deal with this shit internally. And you're like, well, you know, we kind of already fucking pay people to do that work. Exactly.

Yeah, and, you know, and the other thing is they're not even dealing with it. Right. It's not as if it's not as if like we're covering a story where it's like, man, like this guy got kicked out of his house and his wife left him. And, you know, turns out he was a pedophile and the community shunned him. And, you know, it's always the other direction. It's, you know, instead what we find is, you know, that the kids are shunned. Their families are given shit for reporting things.

You know, the excuses are made for the abusers. So it's like it's like they're saying, like, we want to deal with this internally. What we really want to do is not deal with this at all. That's what we think would really nail this problem. Hey, guys, I've got a great solution. Let's do nothing. And like I said, you already have people who are handling this and we already pay them money to do it. And you would think that the Jewish people would want a good bargain. Why would I pay for something if someone's already paying for it? But what the scriptures are anxious to say, it's far more important that we be spiritually strong as a nation than that we be militarily strong.

It's not enough to be militarily strong. If we are militarily strong, but we are spiritually weak as a nation, we are going to go down. And that's why it's critical, I believe, to have a commander-in-chief who is a Christian-in-chief first and then is our commander-in-chief. So this story comes from thinkprogress.org. South Carolina lawmaker asked prospective judges if they believe in God. It actually goes a lot further than that. in trying to vet certain judges included a uh like a whole section grilling them about you know what religious communities you're part of whether you agree with like homosexual marriage whether they have unborn right like whether children have unborn rights i mean this thing is like

it's a fucking manifesto for the right way. No religious test shall ever be required as qualification to any office or public trust under the United States. That is from the fucking consta fucking tution. How can you possibly be a fucking law maker and wipe your ass with the Constitution so blatantly. Well, I guess maybe he was not a constitutional literalist. Maybe he was a constitutional revisionist.

Omissionist. I like that. Yeah, I don't know how you could even look at some of these things. I mean, you read some of these things, the questions on the survey. What religious or community organizations are you actively involved in, if any? It's like, whoa, bro. Yeah, well, how about this one?

What is your personal relationship? So do you believe in the supreme being? One of the questions, right? What is the nature of this being? What is your personal relationship to this being? What relevance does this being have on the position of judge please be specific i mean there's no it's not like it's like a there's there is no way you could possibly excuse this as like well you know i'm just doing a little little fact finding sure this is like just poking around a little bit trying to see kind of where they stand on the issue.

This is just... You're so aggressively... You know, I kind of would forgive it if he was that folksy, though. I mean, I got to admit, you know. That's how you get away with it, you know. You just got to be a little down-to-home about it. It also says that another question that they were asked is, in a case where someone was assaulted because he was gay,

would you consider it a hate crime and increase the penalty? Wow. So somebody, can you imagine you're applying, or I shouldn't say applying, but you're being considered to be appointed a judge. Right, right. And you get this hate-filled survey. And let's make no mistake, right, because questions can be hate-filled. Sure.

Every much as statements can. Every single one of these is a very pointed question that completely reveals the author's stance on the issue. Right. Oh, are you kidding? Absolutely. Every single one of these. And so what are you supposed to do with this? You know what I mean?

Like, what in the world are you supposed to do with this survey? Like, how are you supposed to fill this thing? I mean, granted, you're in South Carolina, so you're probably just like, well, Jesus, hey, hey. No, you're probably like, what's these squiggles? just like, yeah, well, Jesus, hey, hey. No, you're probably like, what's these squiggles? Let me write this on the back of my Confederate flag.

Hang on a minute. It's behind the gun rack of my pick-em-up truck. Oh, no. No, you can get away with that because it's South Carolina. Right, yeah. Yeah, not North Carolina. I would never say that about North Carolina. No, I wouldn't say that until we get home from North Carolina in April. Which is where we're going very soon.

Yeah, we're going to be murdered there. I'm just saying. Do they still lynch folks down there? Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. This story comes from Al.com.

Chaos reigns in Alabama as same-sex couples seek marriage licenses. Probate judges. So the Alabama Supreme Court basically ruled that Alabama could not withhold marriage certificates from same-sex couples. And no end of bullshit basically transpired to the point where certain judges were basically just saying like, yeah, I'm just not going to do that. Yeah.

You know, it's not just certain judges. A lot of judges decided not to do it. Some chose a stance that would say, I'm not going to give any out until they give me a further clarification on this because I'm not going to do this.

And while I don't, I think it's bullshit, I also think, you know, you've got to look at it from their perspective. Judges aren't just, you know, some of these judges. I don't know if these judges in particular are elected. If they're elected officials, then they've certainly got a constituency to worry about when they're elected officials, then they've they've certainly got a constituency to worry about when they're doing certain things. So there is a level of of, you know, cover your own ass going on here so that they can't so that they're not held accountable later on by a public that will probably vote them out, especially somebody who probably could be pretty liberal in a place where there's not a lot of liberals. pretty liberal in a place where there's not a lot of liberals.

But the people that really piss me off, the ones that withhold it for everybody, kind of shitty. The ones that are given out to everybody, good on them. The ones that really piss me off are the ones that are given them out to heterosexual couples, but gay couples don't get them. Right. Those are the shitty ones. Those are the ones you're like, okay, asshole, you're a fuckhead. Well, how about this guy? This is this is Washington County probate judge Nick Williams said he would not issue marriage licenses to same sex couples.

When he was asked whether he was worried about getting sued, he said, quote, I'm not worried about following the U.S. Constitution and the Alabama Constitution, he said. Well, clearly they're not worried about it in the previous story either so i guess that's kind of like a south thing you're a judge man it's kind of your job that's your bag baby like it's like it's like a guy mcdonald's is mad that he's making burgers right yeah that's it like that's that's the thing It's like, you have no choice. This is, we've talked about this before. Like we've talked about this in, in the same context as like, you know, you, you go to the goddamn drug store and some ask asshole behind the counter decides he's not going to sell a woman, you know, plan B or birth control or, you know, condoms or whatever it is because it's against their, you know, religious liberties.

That's not your fucking choice anymore. You're not acting as you. Yeah. You are at work. Sure. You punched in. I don't care if you're a judge or, you know, the clerk behind the counter at the goddamn Walgreens. You wake up on a Saturday.

You're not at work. You can be the fucking craziest bigot you want to be. That's your prerogative. But when you show up for work to do a job, and then you're just like, yeah, but I'm not going to do that part of the job because I don't like it. That doesn't fly. How does that fucking fly? Can you imagine if you didn't have a religious excuse for another component of your job?

If you were just like, yeah yeah i just don't want to do that because i'm fucking i'm lazy right yeah i'm just lazy and i don't like doing that part of my job so not going to do that part you just be immediately fired you're asking what's the big deal about sex okay what's the big deal why is it important to me to note this well out of those who choose to be sexually active um at this age one out of every four, one out of every four will contract a sexually transmitted disease. This is actually a pretty shocking study, Cecil. This came from the Daily Kos. A study finds that HPV vaccine does not lead to teens having more wild and crazy sex.

So it turns out that genital wart vaccines don't turn people into fucking whores. Really? Yeah, I know. I know. One would have thought. Because I've been injecting girls with that forever. Just hoping. I actually only watch porn videos where they first get an HPV vaccine because then you know they're going to do the good stuff.

They're going to do the good stuff. They're going to do the good stuff. Then you know, like, man, you're watching the, like, five minutes through. You're like, oh, what am I watching? Oh, yeah, HPV vaccine video. That's right. It's coming now, baby. Oh, yeah. Two girls, one syringe.

Yeah. you know like it's so funny because when this when this vaccine came out um there was there was such strong and vocal opposition to the vaccine from the the christian right because they were saying that you know this is just it's just one more barrier being removed and teenagers are gonna you know start they're gonna worry worry less about contracting STIs as a result. And, you know, and it's like, wait a minute. Fucking HPV is like an 80 percent of the sexually active population. So clearly people aren't that fucking way. It's not it's not holding people back.

Right. No one has ever. So I've never I've heard all of the objections to a sexual proposition, but I've never heard. Wait a minute. I don't want to get vaccinated. Yeah. That one I've never heard. Yeah.

What's crazy about this is that people think that that's a that somebody out there thinks the moment you get this vaccine, you gonna go sort of buck wild right right when all the normal constraints around sexual activity are still there it's not it's not like it's not like suddenly you'll find more willing partners yeah right that or you you suddenly your your parents will be gone from home so you can have sex or whatever i remember that was the biggest the biggest obstacle when i was a young very young person was there's just there's nowhere to do it you just don't have the opportunity to be in a place where you're with your girlfriend on your own for a long enough time for you to figure out how it works that's what i just remember that being the very biggest obstacle was where do we go because you

don't right you don't have your own place you know the only place that it worked out was like once we got cars then there was a possibility but it's fucking uncomfortable and weird and not useful and like fucking you could always and there there's always that opportunity that cop coming by with the fucking flashlight to tell you to move the fuck along you know what i mean car sex is a thing of the 50s it really is you know honestly like car sex like you watch like the fucking old fucking ye olde movie you were like yeah every car had a fucking barco lounge your couch exactly and that was you could fucking have a fucking seven person orgy in a goddamn old christ yeah yeah but like a modern car. And your ass cheek wouldn't touch

anybody. You know what I mean? Like, you'd be fine. You'd have your own little fucking tiny little fence around each other. Having sex in, like, a modern automobile is fucking horrible. Yeah, and I drove a Geo, so that shit wasn't happening. I had a Geo, too, man!

Like, you'd have to fucking date, like, a midget's midget. Yeah, exactly. have to fucking date, like, a midget's midget. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's, like, you can't fucking, dude, I had a Geo Metro so small you couldn't masturbate. And the thing is, with a Geo Metro, you're doing a lot of masturbation. That's, see, you get really good at that. that's see you get really good at that i will say too like like also like when you're at that age everybody has fucking shitty cars yeah you know so like everybody's got and they've got the same shitty car right like everybody has like a corolla or whatever yeah right you've got like a corolla

or you've got like a fucking chevy uh everyone had the same fucking Chevy. Cavalier. Cavalier. Thank you. You had a fucking Cavalier or like a Pontiac Sunfire. Like there were only like seven shitty cars that everybody fucking owned. And they all had captain's chairs and low ceilings. Yeah. And they were just like, they were made for fucking anger. Yeah.

That's it. Because you could fuck anger, but you couldn't fuck your girlfriend. That's it. Yeah. They were miserable the only your only opportunity at that age was to go camping right camping would work uh that's a possibility uh there was a stinky sex you know what i mean it's like camping sex you're just like oh it's camping sex yeah i mean you're still like yeah it's sex yeah but at the same time you're

like you're like banging away you're in the middle of And she's like, there's a branch in my back. You're like, shut up. Shut up. You're ruining the moment. And like, it was camping sex, but you're still poor. Yeah. So like all your camping gear sucks, which means you're just miserable and uncomfortable. Yeah.

All your camping gear is kind of damn. Yeah. All your camping gear sucks. And now it's covered in sexual bodily fluids. It's horrible yeah or the you know the entire interior of your tent is like a dirty marshmallow the only other option you had back then was the glorious weekend when your parents or her parents went away that was the great odd that was oh, time for the fucking bang away.

And you'd be like banging around her parents' bed. Be like, how do you like this, pops? That was the best. But seriously, though, like as a boy, there's no, this is not anything. And as a girl, I don't see it. It just doesn't make any sense that somebody would say, well, now that I got this vaccine, I'm just going to throw my fucking ankles over my ears. Yeah. It's, you know, it's just more of that, like that right wing hysteria around sex where it's like, if we give them condoms, they'll just fuck everybody.

Yeah. Like, no. I mean, people really understand that like sex has consequences. Like all these things do is they make sex safer. Yeah. So that when people inevitably engage in sex. Which they're going to do. Right.

So now all of a sudden it's safer. Like, wouldn't you just be like, oh, no, we made it safer. Fuck. Now they're going to be safe when they're having sex. We really wanted to make sure they fucking impregnate each other like crazy and come down with all the diseases. Go Jesus. Go Jesus. Podcasters.

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innocent creatures lead a life worth living. So this story comes from BuzzFeed. These professors want parents who don't vaccinate to pay a tax. They say parents who refuse to immunize their children should bear the societal cost of outbreaks of preventable diseases. Critics say that that's not practical or fair. So there were two schemes that were outlined in this article, really two basic schemes. The first is that if you don't if you don't vaccinate your kids, you basically just pay a tax, some kind of a tax, some kind of a fee. The alternative was that if you don't vaccinate your kid and, you know, you're an outbreak is tracked back to you, you pay for the cost of that outbreak oh right now the second option i think is asinine i think so too because it's just it's hard to pinpoint

unless you have like a little tiny monkey then you can then you know that's clearly where that came from just like they find the house where, and they just fucking drop one of those fucking fuel bombs on it. It just destroys the whole community. The monkey runs out the back door with his yarmulke on and his little suitcase. Starling feces and viruses everywhere. Pressing elevator buttons desperately. Just randomly pressing the buttons oh shit but i will say like i you know i think the tax or the fine is a pretty good idea yeah i mean the carrot is in place

right the carrot is you don't get sick yeah but maybe we need a stick yeah i i know that there's a there's a level of personal freedom that people want to have, right? People want to say, I want to be able to make the choice whether or not I'm going to do this sort of thing. But we don't allow people in this country to... I saw a great comparison, which is not drive around with brakes on right like we you can't

drive a car in this country without brakes you're not allowed to do it and there was a funny comparison a joke comparison i saw this week where someone was saying uh brakes cause a bunch of accidents and i don't trust the brakes and this sort of thing so what i'm gonna and people have been engine braking since the very first start of they actually didn't have brakes on cars and they engine, they use engine brakes and that was much easier and better and it was better for the whole system. And that's what I'm going to use. And it's a great analogy to, you know, the immune system and that sort of thing. Like this is what we used to do. And so I think that it's okay. We don't allow people to do that. We don't allow people to do that we don't allow people

to travel at excessive speeds on highways without some sort of penalty we don't allow people to be dangerous right we don't allow people to be dangerous in public if we can avoid that sort of thing because to other people right it's okay to do it to yourself you want to go fucking play parkour and bounce your fucking head off the sidewalk. You know, that's your fucking head, bro. Go, you know, jump out of the dumpster or whatever you were doing and go bounce your face off the sidewalk. Nobody cares. But the moment somebody else is involved, now we've got to start thinking about it as public policy.

You can't look at it as it's my own personal freedom. You have to look at it as saying my own personal freedoms can drastically affect many other people who don't have the opportunity to get vaccines yet, who are too young to get vaccines or who may never be able to have vaccines because their immune system won't let them. Those people are vulnerable. You can't just allow yourself to to go out into the world and spread this disease to people who could really be affected negatively by it. Well, you know, the thing is, like, when you're when you're part of a society, we have to agree on a certain set of rules as a society. So there's always a balance, right?

There's always a tension. I mean, we talked about tension before. There's always a tension between personal freedom and social responsibilities. And this is one of those areas where a certain group of people falls into the camp where they feel that vaccines are medical decisions and all medical decisions are personal decisions and so they can't be regulated by the social contract, so to speak. They don't fall into the realm of social responsibility.

contract, so to speak. They don't fall into the realm of social responsibility. But uniquely, among other medical decisions that you'll make in your life, this is one that directly impacts the health and safety of the people around you. And as a result, I think it's entirely reasonable for the social contract to apply, for social responsibility to take precedence over personal freedom. And this isn't a scenario where, you know, you're giving up any liberty in order to do this. You're giving up. I mean, you're getting stuck by a needle and then you walk away and that's it. Like, there's nothing. There's like no second step to this to this transaction.

Right. It's not like it's not like anybody is being like yeah well i mean you got to get this fucking microchip implanted in your face right and we get to tell you know where you're going and like how long you have intercourse and in what position right like it's not like it's not terribly invasive it's like you get a you get a fucking tangible medical benefit out of it and then society gets to reap the rewards of that immunity that's offered to the group. And if you shun that, then to me, you break the social contract. And when you break any social contract, there's penalties. There's sometimes very light

penalties like traffic tickets, and there's sometimes very steep penalties. And I think that a tax or a fine is an entirely reasonable way to do this. I actually think that one of the things that they could do is to not allow you to claim the tax exemption for your child if you refuse to get them exempt. I think that's a good idea. Sure. You know, like, OK, great. I mean, you didn't get them fucking vaccinated. That's fine.

But, you know, we're not you're not going to get the you're not going to get to claim them as a dependent on your taxes, on your income. Yeah, that's even worse than the ten thousand dollars. I think that because that would be every year, every year they're not vaccinated. You don't get to claim them. Right. That's a good way to do it, although I don't never get any traction anywhere because that would never pass. But that would be a way in which to get the people who have kids that aren't vaccinated. If you can't prove that they don't have a medical exemption. Yeah. And I also think that you should not. I mean, there should be no exceptions when it comes to enrolling your kids in school.

There should be zero exceptions to enroll because now you've said now you've said not only am I not going to vaccinate my kids, but then I also want to expose. I intentionally want to bring my child into a high density population area. Right. And expose your kids. And then subsequently the adults and other people that your kids come into contact. Sure. Be like, yeah, I mean, you got to homeschool your kids if they're fucking right. Not vaccinated.

Yeah. You don't you don't have access to the public education system because you've broken the social contract. Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today. Marriage, that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream. So this story comes from thinkprogress.org.

Christian group fires woman for not making efforts to reconcile her marriage. And now she can't sue. This is super weird. So there was a woman who was working for the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, which is an evangelical Christian organization. And she had a falling out with her husband, and she told her supervisors or her superiors or whatever, and she was working as a spiritual director,

that her marriage was, you know, having problems. And so she took a leave of absence from work in order to work on her marriage. And then her fucking bosses decided she didn't work hard enough on it yeah so they fired her well it gets even worse because other people in that office uh were divorced too right so she's getting a divorce and then she gets fired for it because she didn't fix her fucking problems her marriage and then you find out later that in this in the same fucking office like two

other dudes had gotten divorces but that's not they were dudes that's that's the problem is like like how can you look at this at this religion then you know at this christian religion and not say it's fucking it's completely sexist i mean it's so sexist. I mean, it's so sexist. Look at all the ways in which it is sexist. And, you know, you're going to look at, you look at how women are slut shamed and then how they're, you know, attacked for having, you know, sex out of wedlock and how they're treated. They never talk about guys. That's never talked about. It's never talked about how guys, they have sex with somebody you know it's not like you're just running around being like oh well there's clearly no dudes want to fuck me so hey can you strap this thing on like it's that's not

there's dudes banging women but you never talk about the dudes and then you know you you you shame the women for having the baby when it's fucking clearly that it's not like fucking you flip a coin when you have sex and the guy has the baby on occasion. It's always the woman. So she's the one who has to have that burden all the time of possibly getting pregnant. And then this particular thing when they seem to get on women about, you know, what is it, her fault that her marriage fell apart? It's suddenly her fucking fault. And she's the one who's to blame and she's the one who's bad in this case, not worthy to have this job anymore. Yeah, well, you know, the crazy thing is that the courts, the courts have held the decision.

Right. So what the courts have said is that religious entities have control over who they hire and fire as long as that person is classified as a minister right as long as later decision yeah um went on to broaden that classification by not defining what constitutes ministry and that allows for religious groups to just fucking make it up as they go yeah so they can basically say like oh yeah you work for you know a religious organization you know and because you work for a religious organization, you know, and because you work for a religious organization, we can just, we don't have to follow any of the rule, rest of the rules of polite society. Like in all of the rest of the rules of polite society, you couldn't get away with this shit.

Not for a fucking second could you get away with this shit. But if you, you know, are working for some bullshit religious organization they can just fucking reorganize how they classify people in any fucking willy-nilly bullshit way they decide and then you as an employee of that organization you have less rights you have less protections that's crazy yeah and these religious exemptions to all these laws. We go through all these fucking unbelievable machinations in order to get laws passed in this country. And we get certain laws passed to protect people from discrimination by their employers, from discrimination in terms of refusals of services. We go through and we fight tooth and nail to get any little goddamn thing accomplished.

It's so hard to get anything accomplished. And then it's just this fucking not it clause for religious organizations where they just get to be like, well, here's the thing. We'd really like to be horrible. Yeah. I know you passed'd really like to be horrible. Yeah. I know you passed a law saying stop being horrible. And the worst part is they're tax-exempt, too. So not only are they fucking being able to just be like, fucking fire people willy-nilly when they want to,

when they want to shame them, they also get an opportunity to be horrible. There's another part of this story, too, where they're talking about how two former employees in Catholic parishes, and I'm going to read directly from this article. This is from Think Progress. It says, two former employees of Catholic parishes,

one in Illinois and one in Missouri, are both suing their employers after they were fired for being publicly gay. In both cases, the ex-employees claim the church community and church officials were aware of their homosexual relationship for years, but let them go once they were public about it. Right. What the fuck?

You know, and part of me thinks that what's really going on there is that the local authorities don't give a shit. Right. So you've got somebody who's in a position in the fucking church organist or the whatever. And, you know and nobody cares. Everybody loves them. They're part of the community. And everybody has recognized, or at least the good, reasonable, non-bigoted asshole people in the world have at this point recognized that somebody's sexuality has no bearing and

no meaning and no relationship to whether or not they're a good and decent human being. And so they become entrenched in this community and into this culture and into this church. And everybody locally accepts them and welcomes them and it's fine. And then something happens, something triggers, and it moves up the fucking food chain within the organization. And all of a sudden they can't kind of keep this within the within the church within the family within the community anymore now their fucking hand is forced and they're forced to take the fucking extremist bigoted position of the mother church or you know whatever the the larger

organizational body has decreed and that's clearly in violation of i mean in these cases that you cited from the article it's clearly in violation of what everybody in these cases that you cited from the article it's clearly in violation of what everybody on the ground wants like the grassroots the on the ground people just don't give a shit just don't give a shit but it's like we listen if you could just be gay quieter yeah if you could just be a woman quieter Because there's nothing but death and refuse in the rectum. No life can come out of the rectum. The rectum is designed to get rid of death and waste. It's designed for that one purpose.

And the sodomites are cheering on and praising the rectum. Fucking Pat Robertson. Love you, this guy, so much. This guy is amazing. It's from the Raw story. I never want Pat Robertson. Love you, this guy, so much. This guy is amazing. It's from the Raw story. I never want Pat to die. I seriously, like, I love this man. I would, where does he live?

Do you know? I'm not sure. I would attend his funeral. You know what? I love this guy. That would be hilarious. his funeral. You know what? I love this guy. That would be hilarious. I

love, I feel like I owe this man a debt of gratitude. Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Honestly, the laughs I have gotten from this guy, I have laughed harder because of Pat Robertson than some of my very closest friends. Well, Pat

here, the headline is Pat robertson teens look at gay magazines because they were molested or attacked by gays um there's really nothing else to do except for play this so let me play this for you this is uh from the 700 club this first one comes from john pat who says i found a gay magazine in my son's room what should i do well i think you'll talk to him about sexuality the chances are your your son is not gay but somebody gave him a book about it and you know a lot of these so-called gay people are have been either attacked by some molested by some uh you know authority figure or else a magazine or something has confused

them. Or a magazine has confused them. When I got the gay pamphlet, I immediately reconsidered my decision to be heterosexual. I gotta tell you something, Cecil. I've been confused in my life, but my dick has never been

confused. Think about the gay pamphlet is that it's a pop-up pamphlet. It's not like you get a fucking like you just get a pamphlet and it's like you open it up and it's like have you considered the gay? And you're like, no. I hadn't considered the gay.

Man, as it turns out out i am attracted to a different gender than i thought i was fucking attracted to whole time i've been fooling myself man oh why didn't i or like i love the idea that you're less attacked by some authority figure and then that makes you like you're like oh god it fucking just got like raped by a cop well that's super gay now. Yeah, that's why I've turned into a dog. Right? Yeah.

It's like gay licking thrumpy or whatever. You're attacked by a gay person. You immediately become like a gay werewolf or whatever. That's how furries start. That's it. the genesis it is the genesis you get attacked by a dog next thing you know you're fucking at a convention in baltimore dressed as a chipmunk with a flap you need to talk to him about what things are and who he is and what he is and let him grow up and find out but don't let him be exposed to

a bunch of pornographic magazine because a gay magazine is filled with naked pictures of naked men doing sex with each other. All those guys doing the sex with each other. He sucks like such an old man. It's the best. Are they doing the sex with each other. He sucks. He sucks like such an old man.

It's the best. Are they doing the sex? What were you doing in there? Are you doing the sex? No, Dad. Leave me alone. Don't come in. Are you doing the masturbation?

You don't know what to do with my son. He's doing the sex. He's doing the masturbating. He's hopped up on goof son. He's doing the sex. He's doing the masturbating. He's hopped up on goofballs. He's smoking the reefers. That's what's in there. So you don't want him to read that stuff. No one's reading it, Pat.

No, Pat reads it for the articles. I'm just looking at gay men. I'm looking at this gay porno for the articles. I'm reading the, I love that. Nobody reads that shit. Whatever. Whether it's men and women or men and men or women and women. It doesn't matter.

You don't want to be seen. All right, whatever. How many kids I got? What's going on? Are they doing the sex in there? What is he even saying, though? He's saying you got to talk to, what are you going to say to your son? What are you going to tell him to stop looking at gay magazines and be straight?

Like, that's what you're going to say. I remember. I remember like my this is this is a story about my brother. I don't like so I don't care. I could tell. So my brother, when he was when he was a's like maybe – he's like late teens, right? And my dad, I don't know why, like looked in his drawer just looking around. I don't know what he's looking for.

Maybe he was – my dad wasn't the type to like toss our drawers out to like look for porn or something for us because my dad didn't care that I had like playboy models pictures on the walls like i had playboy centerfolds on my walls when i was like 17 like he didn't mind at all he's like whatever your fucking boy you know whatever he didn't care it didn't bother him so i know he wasn't that type but i just remember like him coming across like a picture that my brother drew it was awful too by the way it's a terrible picture and it was a girl it was a girl with a strap on fucking another girl but it was awful like it was like it's like you know it's like drawn by mrs larson's fifth grade class right yeah right it's like stick figures it might as well have been like pasta art you know i mean like it was terrible

and i remember my dad shitty diorama my dad is like my dad i remember finding it him finding it, and I was privy to the conversation somehow. I don't even remember how any of this went down, but I remember the reaction of my dad was like, oh my gosh, is he gay? No, he's clearly not gay. That's not a thing that a gay person would like you know that's not a it's not a thing i think my dad was into but it's not a thing that a gay person would be i don't think so anyway i'm clearly that's something that i think a gay boy would be yeah i mean maybe a gay girl but not a gay boy right it's so funny because it's like

these these people with no understanding of human sexuality whatsoever and no appreciation for the spectrum that sexuality falls within and the fluidity of sexuality. They just don't get it. Their ability to navigate this world is so limited. And then they're just like, I don't let them do the sex. They have no like, they can't even articulate properly a plan of

action to even approach somebody who has sexual feelings that they flat out don't understand and will just fucking never understand. Like Pat Robertson, it's not like he's going to have a fucking sexual awakening. You know? Yeah.

At this point, he's lucky he awakes. This is it. This is the whole nine yards. So, like, what would you talk to your kid about? Like, hey, have you ever been attacked by an authority figure? Is that why you're gay? Because you can tell have you ever been attacked by an authority figure is that why you're gay because you can tell me if you were attacked by it like did your principal beat you is that why you're looking at gay magazines right yeah that no no because that's not a thing that

happens huh i mean wouldn't you i mean wouldn't you be humiliated by your teenage son or daughter when they're like dad you're fucking retarded you realize that how would this conversation go i i can't imagine having that that is the most uncomfortable conversation to have because you know this is a father in this in the if you believe that this is a real thing right this is clear i believe in letter you have to believe that this letter actually was sent and i may or may not have been sent at all. It might have just been a fucking it's an intern at the station making shit up. I mean, how do I know? Right.

You know, but you've got to think here's a guy who has no idea what he's doing as a parent. If that if he if Pat Robertson is the first guy you go to for advice on sexuality. I can you I mean, like there's a level of straight desperation. If Pat Robertson is the first guy you go to for advice on sexuality. Can you? I mean, like, there's a level of straight desperation. Yeah. Right? Where you're just like, you find that magazine, like, oh, my God, what do I do?

What do I do? No, I got to write an email to Pat Robertson. And then you just sit and watch the 700 Club, like, will he address my letter? Yeah. Because I have not parented yet. the 700 Club? Like, will he address my letter? Yeah. Because I have not parented yet. I think what you're saying, though, is the only reason why someone would possibly do

that over talking to anybody is because they're so unbelievably embarrassed by the situation that they want to remain anonymous. And what advice do you think they were hoping for? Because that's the other thing, is like, when you write in for advice, I think a lot of times you're hoping to be validated rather than to be actually given any actual advice.

I think that's often the case. Like what advice was he hoping for? Like Pat Robertson would be like, oh, what you got to do is make him Brussels sprouts. Then he won't be gay. Yeah. There's no like. There's no quick fix for this. Right.

Yeah. And either that or Pat Roberts. He was probably hoping that Pat Roberts would say, ah, don't worry about it, he'll grow out of it. I think that's probably the hope. Yeah. Because this is a guy who I don't think wants to deal with it. Because it would be something you'd just be like, yeah, we've got to talk about this.

And then you just begin a dialogue. Right? Like, it's not even a hard thing to do. You're just like, we should talk. We should have an open dialogue about this. And then you sit down and have a fucking conversation, one human to another. And the problem here is that, you know, while I don't think the dialogue is a bad thing to say, hey, you know, what's going on? I found this gay magazine, you know, and to try to figure that out.

But the problem, I think, is, is that inherently in the conversation, you could feel that it's a negative thing. Not only does Pat know it's a negative thing because pat's making shit up about why it even happens but pat is pat is also you could tell he's saying that it's bad and you should talk to him because you want to sort of get him off of it you want to say it's like fucking it's like uh you know you found his fucking meth pipe and you want to take him to rehab you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth this is turning into quite the uh pat ro Pat Robertson episode, because this also comes from right wing watch. Pat Robertson, snow in Boston disproves climate change.

This is short. It's only 34 seconds. Let's just play with that. I'm sure it's going to be awesome. You know, in 34 seconds, I'm sure he's going to debunk mountains and mountains worth of scientific data. So here we go. A climate expert, you know, has come out and said that they have actually manipulated the figures to try to prove global warming.

And guess what? The president goes on, well, he goes in an interview with the Vox, whatever that is, and said, our real challenge is not ISIS. It's not terrorists. It is global warming. Go to Boston, Mr. President. Yeah. Wow. Right, right.

Wow. You know there's people like you. Yeah. Yeah, it did snow in Boston in the winter. Dude, that's constant. I hear that all the time, man. I mean, you hear it, but you just want to... It's the same problem to me as the people who are like,

you know, if evolution's true, then why is there monkeys? And you're just like, that argument doesn't... I don't even know where to begin with that stuff, because it's like, no one's making that argument. No one's saying that because of global warming there won't be snow anymore. Yeah. I didn't read that article. No more snow.

How about like unstable growing intensity of storms? I mean that's the conversations people are having. Right. I went to recently, I saw a whole big bunch of data that NASA's collected that just there's a big long page. If you want global warming facts, it's a huge long page. But NASA's collected that says, guys, this is some shit you got to pay attention to. National Geographic recently just released a thing that said that a bunch of people more than,

and I want to say it was 99% as climate scientists. And then there was a level of, I want to say it was like 85% of other scientists, just not people that are in this field, but like, you know, people that aren't climate scientists, an overwhelming majority all think that climate change is real. They all think it's real. And look, if you can prove it's not and look if you can prove it's not real if you can show it's not real that's a big deal it's a big deal but the problem is is that there's just no peer-reviewed shit out there that that that really shows that you know you get you get what you get is people from other fields who don't who are not climate scientists who come out and be like,

like that fucking New King who's like, I'm a fucking amateur paleontologist or whatever. And then he comes out with some, I'm an amateur rocket Scientologist. That guy, he's going to say some crazy shit and it's not going to make any sense. But the thing is, is people just don't want to hear it. Right. You know, it's a scary thing. But the thing is, is people just don't want to hear it. Right.

You know, it's a scary thing. It's not a fucking, it's not like a thing that you can just wave away and say, ah, come on, that's nothing. Like, there's some serious predictions for some crazy shit to happen within the next 50 years. Some shit that is like life changing for many, many, many people on the globe. And by when I mean to say life changing, I I mean to say life-ending in some ways. There's some really bad shit. Now, we can't, models are models. So sometimes those models don't go through and that's just, that's the way it is.

So you gotta, but I think that planning for the worst is not a bad call when it comes to climate change. I don't think that moving yourself towards fucking wind power and solar power and water power and that sort of thing is a bad call i think you know going towards those things is the way you're gonna have to handle the future we're eventually gonna run out of oil anyway you know i mean like that's not gonna last forever yeah you know i actually find it and this is gonna sound maybe a little crazy i just find it somewhat distressing that gas has gotten so cheap again because it's you know i was listening to something on uh npr the

other day that you know gas has gotten cheap and so now all of a sudden there's like a spike again in the in the sale of suvs and large trucks and it's like we are such a short-sighted people i know yeah like we are so short-sighted it's like gas is cheap for fucking 20 minutes. Let's buy a fucking locomotive. What are you talking about? Choo choo motherfucker. It outpours fucking 5W30

for my homies. Everybody's driving around in like fucking the dirtiest buses that they can get. Like spewing shit. Like spewing shit. Like actual like small particles of metal are coming out at a certain point. They're just like, fuck, I don't even care. I've gone out of my way to find leaded gasoline.

That's right. No one even uses it anymore. Don't give a shit. It's like, it's a dollar a gallon. Like everybody's got like tugboats that are just belching fucking garbage into the air. I just leave my car idling all the time because America hit. You know, like, oh, my God.

You know, you know what? I hear too, Cecil. I don't know if you've heard this, but I've heard this recently. Like people say, you know, like, ah, they don't even know what the weather is going to be next week with any accuracy. How do they know that the fucking climate in a hundred years? And it's just like, you, you don't, you don't understand. They're not saying like a hundred years from now, it's going to rain and be 73. Yeah.

Like that's not, no one is saying that. Like they're, these are long range trends. These are long range predictions. Like we can, we can predict very accurately that winter will happen, right? Yeah. Like, we don't know necessarily with any accuracy in a long-range forecast what winter next year will look like. But we know for certain that winter will arrive next year. Sure.

Right? Because we can predict trends. But there's this idea that because we don't know how much it's going to rain next Wednesday, that that somehow invalidates the entirety of climate science. And you're like, that's not meteorology. Yeah. And they're not picking out something major. What they're saying is they're saying the temperature is going up.

Here's the models that show it's gone up and it's spiked very recently. In the recent past, it's gone up and up and up and up and up. Okay. Where is it going in the future? If we follow these trends, we can see it's going to keep going up. Because, I mean, like, why wouldn't it keep going up? It's going to keep going. I mean, and you know, the thing is, like, even even if it levels out relatively soon we still could be in some serious problems

it's gone up so much that you could be in some serious trouble in several years if it even if the the the growth slows it could be it could still be a problem and there are there are things that are going to be some serious problems. Acidification of the ocean, huge problem. You know, the death of coral reefs because of temperature changes and acidification is huge. There's some really serious, serious problems on the horizon if people don't play it safe. And, you know, I'm not, I don't, the thing is, is like, I've got about, at best, I've got about 40, 45 years left. At best. So I'm out, man. I'm fucking checked out at best, I've got about 40, 45 years left. At best. So I'm out, man.

I'm fucking checked out at a certain point. It's like, yeah, I'm gone. I'm going to do my very best to be a steward for future generations. But, man, that shit's on the people who have had kids and who are going to try to push forward for a new generation. You guys got to look at your kids and be like, you know what? Should I fucking buy this locomotive? All right.

So that's going to wrap it up for this week. It's our hope to be on Incredulous this week. We'll let you know when that comes out. There's going to be an Incredulous show with us on it. We're looking forward to doing it. Scat atheist is going to join in so it should be a really good incredulous show when they publish it sometime in july we'll let people know when that happens uh but uh but we're we're looking forward to it it's going to be recorded uh this upcoming sunday so we're anxious to do it and we're happy to to be on andy's show because we really like andy and

and it'll be fun to be on with Noah and Heath too. That'll be a good time. So we'll let you know when that comes out. But we're going to leave you as we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno

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Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. We'll see you next time.