Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 209: God Hates Reverse Cowgirl

Episode Date: February 23, 2015

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Hey guys, this is David from Colorado, the next Mormon, and I'm teaching lessons from the sister missionaries, and this one I thought you had to hear. They were making an analogy about what prophets are for, and they said, imagine there's a giant wall, and on one side of this wall is God. And, you know, he's living there in heaven, and there's holes in the wall. You can look through the holes, and you can see God. But a prophet has a ladder, and he can go the top of the wall, and he has a better view about what god's all about and so i'm looking at them and of course i'm starting to crack up and i'm saying wait so there's a wall and on the other side of the wall there's jesus in all his glory like yeah yeah that's exactly right i was like and there's holes in the wall and you can look through the wall

through the hole and you can can see Jesus in his glory? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, so Jesus is the man on the other side of the wall. And you see him through the holes of glory. And they're like, yeah, yeah, that's right. So it turns out, Mormon doctrine confirms this. Jesus is the guy on the other side

of the glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat.

Oh man, you were so close. I know that's what episode we're on don't laugh what's wrong with you I don't know now I'm gonna get like a one star review I can't even make it through the intro and laugh about it it's not funny man

nothing's funny dicks oh I'm gonna make like I think what we should do is you know dicks oh I'm gonna make like I think what we should do is you know we have like the fucking dirty words thing in the beginning where we say like you've been warned about this shit I think we should be like

say something to the effect of these guys are gonna laugh so be ready for the laughter right you know what we should do is we should take we should take everything somebody has bitched about put it in the intro it'll be 59 minutes long we'll have a one minute show that'd be amazing right that's how you do it i mean it'll be i mean it'll be like foreplay long yeah you know like boom it's over blake and you'll miss it baby it's it's really just as long as it takes to get out the KY.

Right. Look, I've been ready for hours. Yeah. So this is episode 209, by the way. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. Oh, shit. Our first story comes from forwardprogressives.com. Forward thinking for progressive action. Mississippi law would permit un-listened?

Un-listened. It's un-listened. Jesus. What are you, from fucking Britain? I can't. You're going to have a vitamin, dude? What the fuck? This isn't a story about aluminium.

Christ. Mississippi law would permit unlicensed drivers to operate buses under religious exemption. You mispronounced that. It's buses. I can't show today. Oh, man. Oh, shit. I can't show ever. Oh, man. Oh, shit. I can't show ever.

So this is just crazy. So Mississippi is basically allowing for an exemption right now in most states where they don't want everyone to die on the road. There is a law, right? They go out of their way to make sure humans don't crash in other humans. Right. That says that if you're gonna drive something like i don't know a motherfucking school bus right that you should have a school bus driving license you know because they're 64 feet long yeah and they weigh dozens of tons literally dozens of tons and you usually put really important small people in

them and if you crash one of the things into the other things you are certain to ruin both of the things yeah i uh i don't understand the logic here that somehow because you belong to a church or you're helping a church out that they're allowed to cut corners on this because, you know, we just can't afford to hire these, you know, qualified drivers. Right. And like they're really actually nicknaming this bill. The sponsor of the bill is actually nicknaming the bill the Jesus Take the Wheel Act. That's it. Like, you're sitting in the fucking South, sweltering and covered in mosquitoes and poverty, right? Yeah, right. And you're thinking like...

You're dodging all the lynched Negroes hanging from trees. Oh, shitty. And you're thinking like, well, we done did solved all them problems down here. What's next? Sir, we have people that are qualified driving religious school buses. Qualified drivers? Well, we can't be having that. What if they don't crash and burn up all them little chitlins into crispity critters?

Pretty soon you're going to say women want pants. What kind of world are you living in? You pinko liberal anti-GMO homosexual. I love is doesn't this just come right out and say

that we at the church, whenever we're going to provide a service for you, it's going to be substandard. Whatever we do, it will be substandard. So we will not hire qualified people to teach your children in religious school. We will not hire qualified people to take care of your children in our religious daycare. We won't hire qualified priests who could be, you know,

left with children alone on occasion. And we will not hire qualified drivers to get you places. It's like somebody was like looking around and they're like, it's not dangerous enough. What can we do? I don't know.

All right. We've already made it so the daycares are basically like broken glass factories. Right, exactly. Run by Freddy Krueger. It's like a sandbox full of broken glass and nails. Like, that's it. And it's like, not only is it broken glass and nails, but none of them have their tetanus shots.

Right? So they just, treasure walk around locked up. My name is Bobby. They can't even open their jaws. I'll tell you what, though. Those kids with lockjaw can take a punch. That's all I'm saying. You can't even knock them out.

No matter what you do. So they're like, okay, well, how are they getting to school? Like, once they get, we're getting to school, but who's driving it? Well, we got this guy over here. He's the bus driver. No, no, no. Let's get just somebody. You mean like a bus driver?

No, no, no, no. Just literally somebody. Anybody. My dad drives a school bus. Yeah. Like my dad is a school bus driver, which incidentally he says would be the greatest job in the world if it wasn't for the damn kids. But like he takes driving a school bus very seriously. Because he's entrusted with other people's humans.

Plus he knows if he crashes into something, even if the bus is empty. Let's say he crashed into me. I drive a fucking Hyundai Elantra. If I got hit by a school bus that'd be a hyundai elantra right i would be fucking flat stanley after that shit i would be fucking dunzo would you would you without any training get behind the wheel of a school bus to try to drive it somewhere and that's the other thing no would would you no you remember that one time we were gonna move you and they were they're to give us a giant truck like it.

Like all they had left was the largest moving truck they possibly. It was like as big as the goddamn warehouse. It was so huge. And I get behind the thing. And I just immediately looked at you and I said, I can't drive this thing. I know. And it was stick. And it wasn't a standard shift either.

And you were just like. I'm just like, I'm like putting a fifth gear and trying to figure out where. I couldn't even figure out where reverse was because there was nothing on it to tell you which the shift pattern was. I remember that. I remember looking at you and thinking like, well, I don't know how to drive it either. And it's not because neither of us know how to drive or neither of us know how to drive stick. We both know how to drive. We both know how to drive stick.

It's just that some shit you're just like, I'm out of my fucking league here. And it's tall. How tall is it? How tall are the Viaducts by you? Like all these things you have to know when you drive a giant vehicle that you just don't even have to pay attention to as a car driver. Could you imagine if one of these fucking people drives down a road that has a small clearance and fucking can openers the top of the bus like could you imagine the kids traumatized or the adults at this point so you're driving a bingo or whatever the fuck you're doing with your bus could you imagine the fucking terror that's

going to go through them the possible damage that you could do to those people and the property and it's just a bad idea all around. It doesn't make any sense. But they get away with these religious exemptions all the time. And it's even worse when we talk about daycare. Daycare religious exemptions are absolutely abhorrent. Wind up with people who are completely unqualified, have no chance to actually handle any of the problems that wind up in a daycare. And these kids are left in the sort of in the care of these human beings who have no fucking idea how to care for them for real.

Right. What? Because you want to pay a little less? That's terrifying. And I guess like I don't even understand the impetus toward this. Like you said, like I wouldn't want to drive something i'm not qualified i if somebody said like tom you want to drive the school but fuck no i don't want to do it if somebody said hey do you want to be a daycare provider like no i don't want to do it

i would want the education on how to do the thing like what kind of person is like yeah i'll drive that i'll fucking fly a fighter jet yeah sounds fun i died who would have seen that coming like what are you talking about we should learn how to do the things before we do the things mine eyes have seen the glory hole whilst coming with the lord and he's rubbing out a vintage since his girth is quite engorged he hathosed his seat, an immaculate stream from his terrible stiths sort. His truth is just BS. Glory, glory, glory, ho! Glory, glory, glory, ho!

Glory, glory, glory, ho! His truth is just BS. Bad news, Cecil. Bad news. Everything fun is wrong. And you're going to burn in hell. Okay. This comes from the Raw Story.

Romance tips from an end times pastor. This guy, Urkel, looks like he could give me some romance tips. That's all I'm saying. Demons torture married couples who practice woman on top. I don't know how much practicing you have to do. Like, what's the... Immediately, I was like, practice? Look, I think it's widely known that God hates reverse cowgirl.

I think that that's a thing that God hates. There's a whole list of things that God hates. It's just so many, so many crazy things. Like he had like a crazy revelation that he went down into like hell or saw hell on a judgment screen, which is like a movie theater screen that only shows unhappy things or something. Sure, yeah, yeah. And he's like, yeah, let me describe some of these things. He says, and then I saw a bench and I saw demons, creatures of darkness. They take pleasure in cutting human flesh. They will start cutting with the most painful parts.

I love this part. And as if that's not bad enough, when they finish cutting it, the soul would come back together again. And they would start all over again. And I thought, like, that's awesome. Because the thing about hell that always struck me as insane is that I i'm supposed to believe in order to believe in heaven and hell right like i'm supposed to believe that i am not my body that i am my soul like that is the essential part of my my spiritual existence and then if i'm bad and i go to hell then i go down and i get tortured but then there's no body to be tortured so they have to give me like a loner body for my time sure yeah in hell and then cram my soul in so they can fuck with the body.

And then I was always wondering too, is it just like an infinitely repairable Wolverine-style body that they give me to go to hell with? But that's kind of what he describes here, right? Like you just get like infinite – it's like when you go to hell, you did up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, select, start. You got like fucking Contra lives down there. You get even more than that. It's like when you were jumping on that fucking turtle in fucking Mario Brothers. It stopped even being numerals. It was just like, yeah, you got fucking strawberry purple life.

That's what you have. You're at strawberry purple at this point. All of these things throughout this whole article are just hilarious. I want to read a couple of these um and the way he's saying it too sounds like it sounds like when your kid doesn't want to tell you a dirty word you know when you're like a young child comes in and says somebody said something but i can't tell you what it is number one couples who practice woman on top i want to repeat this because of the warning he gave me when you are with your wife the lord has made the man to be the head not the woman

so the men who enjoy their wife coming on top of them in the matrimonial bed the lord says they are not coming to heaven at all as long as they're coming though i know that's what the first thing i thought is like maybe she only comes when she's on top. How do you know? I can't even imagine believing in something where someone would have the ability to look at me and say, I'm going to tell you how to do a very, very personal thing with another human being. I'm going to dictate to you all the ways in which that personal relationship which you have with another human that you don't even really talk about with anyone. I'm going to tell you the very best way to do it and the ways in which you shouldn't do it. And you're going to have to follow these rules.

I can't imagine having a relationship with anyone like that. Except for the person who I'm doing the act with. Right. They're the only people with a say. They're the only person that's even like remotely involved in the program today right like everybody else you're like well i don't think you should do that well they don't fucking do it with me yeah like a fucking there's a really easy solution to this problem the idea too that like you get up and you're like and and you you go to fucking judgment day or whatever fucking-up bullshit nonsense they believe in.

And it's like, yeah, well, you fed the poor. That was great. You housed the homeless. You patted the hands of the elderly as they slipped into the great beyond. But your wife totally rode you like an animal. So, nope, down to hell for all eternity. Tra-la-la. Like, what kind of justice would that even be

why would it matter and he's just making it up it's not it's like this is a revelation just to this guy because it's not in the bible and what kind of what kind of fucking organization you believe where just a guy just a random guy has like a vision and you automatically believe it right and it's it's like wait a minute wait a minute we've we've had christianity for 2 000 years and god didn't see fit to bring this up two millennia ago it's so important that you go to hell for 2,000 years for the most mundane, banal crime you could possibly imagine that I never bothered to tell anybody was a crime. It'd be like if you suddenly found out that driving with your fucking sun visor down in your car was a fucking capital offense and the way you found out was as you were being like gurney down to the lethal injection room

and you're just like looking around in like abject confusion like wait a minute wait what the visor in my car? What's happening? And isn't it so obvious, too, that this is just like a power dynamics thing? Oh, yeah. That's all it is. Yeah. And he even says it. He says something like, you know, the man is made to be the head.

Right. Okay. Well, then why wouldn't I want the woman to do all the work? Leaves her hands free to make a sandwich. Oh, Jesus. that's terrible i don't want mayonnaise i'll make my own it's fine that's so bad they make this ky edible now so why don't you just squeeze a little on there we'll just take place of mayo because mayo is really just like esophagus esophagus lubricant anyway so you know what the fuck you can put a little ky on there let's go right there we're

using jimmy cherry flavored lube oh goodness great tastes like fresh cut cilantro uh he also is practicing like a dog number two so i guess that means no pant man this guy is knocking down all the best ways to have sex i know he's like no you need to have sex in the like just missionary how the fuck do you fuck like a chicken too like that's one thing it's like it's like he's like the lord did not create you to behave like a dog in your matrilineal bed or a cow or like a chicken i'm thinking, I've never seen chicken fuck before. I'm kind of interested now.

Is there a chicken style? Do I have to put buffalo sauce on myself? What do I have to do? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You don't put buffalo sauce on yourself before sex? It's KY's new flavor. It's brand new.

It's a buffalo sauce? It's so Bernie. The Chipotle is the Bernie one. It's a buffalo sauce? It's so Bernie. The Chipotle is the Bernie one. That's the one you want to stay away from. Oh, God. And then practicing bondage or different styles. This is great. Yeah.

If you are practicing hanging with your wife bondage, that's what it says. What the hell is that? You are inventing different styles. What, do you got like a fucking tire swing in your bedroom like what is happening don't go and be hanging your wife don't go and be hanging your husband do not try different styles they do sex in different styles that are contrary to god i don't even understand what that i actually only have sex gangnam style yeah that's it gangnam style means you have to have a lot of people right is that what it is i just

it's exclusively it's like it's like one woman and a bunch of dudes is that gang of style i do that little hop is what i do i do that little slap and hop as i go through that everybody does it at the same time and then well there's the ejaculate and then right you know it is altogether right to discriminate against homosexual behavior i'm arguing that it's time that we as conservatives that we rehabilitate the word discriminate that we reclaim it that we dust it off and that we use it and that we use it unapologetically and i believe we need to say, look, it is altogether right for a rational culture to discriminate against homosexual behavior. So the story comes from my Fox Detroit doctor refuses treatment of same sex couples baby.

So this this couple had a four month child, and they found a pediatrician. They made an appointment with the pediatrician, and the pediatrician fucking skipped out on him, Cecil. Said no dice. She preyed on it and decided, nah, fuck it. Yeah. She said, dear John, I have left. Seriously, she left him a letter. She did.

Like, fucking old-timey letter. It turns out that this doctor in addition to being a bigot is a fucking giant coward because rather than look somebody in the eye and tell them that you're a fucking bigot um she chose to write a little letter and then give it to her co-worker right to have to deliver because she's such a fucking coward that while she's refusing basic services to an infant child whose sexuality is unknown she wanted to make sure that she did that by proxy right right she couldn't she didn't have enough enough uh courage to give that to them on their own the other thing too is that was really sort of shocking to me and i thought that this was

a little more widespread i didn't realize that this was in Michigan. It says in Michigan, there are no laws to protect lesbian, gay or bisexual and transgender families from discrimination. So clearly they don't have those laws up there that protect them. So she's allowed to do this. She's allowed to step away and say, I can't I don't I don't want to fucking serve you. And she doesn't have to. And that's a fucking tra travesty that's awful and and it's not even the it's like fucking it's not even the kid like in some weird crazy fucking realm where logic doesn't matter maybe you could get somewhere and think well i don't want to treat a gay person but when you're talking about their kid what the fuck is wrong with you and somebody somebody posted on her page, like, what's the big deal?

They found a doctor. This other person found a doctor replacement. No harm, no foul. And I'm thinking, no, there is a harm here. The harm here is that people are allowed to do this sort of thing without any repercussions whatsoever. You're in an industry where people's lives matter. People's lives are on the line. You don't get a chance to choose.

What if this was a black person? Would you be like, oh, well, at least they found another doctor that would treat this Asian person or whatever. So no big deal. No harm, no foul. Bullshit. You'd be crying foul. You'd say that that's awful.

This is the exact same thing. There's no difference here. Yeah, or like, what if you said like, oh, I don't treat the I don't treat babies of Republican parents or I don't treat the babies of, you know, parents who drive, you know, non-American cars or, you know, any other bizarre discriminatory nonsense. You know, I mean, somebody comes to you for medical care. You provide fucking medical care. End story. Like, you're a doctor. Like, this is not, you know, this is different than, I mean, this is way different than the baking a cake thing.

Right? Because also, like, imagine if this had taken place in a town that only had one or two doctors. Yeah. You know, in this case, they were able to find another doctor. So, okay, in this particular instance, no harm, no foul. But if you let people get away with this shit, then there could be people who have nowhere to turn when they need medical care. Absolutely.

And it doesn't mean that there aren't groups of people in this country that I have sympathy for. I do. And there are kids that were brought into this country by their parents unknowing that they were breaking the law. And they will say to me and others who defend the rule of law, we have to do something about the 11 million. And some of them are valedictorians. Well, my answer to that is, and by the way, their parents brought them in. It wasn't their fault. It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents. For everyone who's a valedictorian,

there's another hundred out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. William Gein, Obama will give immigrants badges and guns to go after a Christian heterosexual male population. Well, at least they'll call the population. Yeah. You know? I mean, the thing is that you just got to tag them when you're done

so that the Department of Forestry knows that you got the right amount. You know, the thing is that he had a big ceremony. Obama had a big ceremony to give them all the badges. And they said, specifically, they said, badges? We don't need no stinking badges! Let's play a little bit of this. This is from America's Crosstalk. This is William Gein, as we mentioned earlier.

If this current Obama plan, which also has a loophole to give these illegals voting rights, succeeds, you will be looking at the following scenario. Five, 10, 15 million illegal immigrants will then begin to dominate over conservatives in U.S. elections. Bullshit. Bullshits. No way that they would do that because the conservative party is way bigger than that.

And it's not like they would have... That's the thing is that people don't understand. Like, there are many people. First off, there's many people who aren't even going to participate in the elections. They just won't even participate. So they're assuming that immediately you're going to get 15 more people to participate when that's not even true. When our voter turnout rate is much lower than that as it is. And people who don't speak the language, I'm sure their voter turnout would be even much lower because they wouldn't even understand it.

There's 370 million people in this country. 15 million immigrants coming into this country is 15 into 370. It's 5%. How is a 4% minority going to dominate the country? How would that work? Like, ah, the 4% will rule forever. Yeah. Unless they come in and have more money than the 1%.

Yeah. Then we're in trouble, right? And if they do, they'd welcome with open arms. Right. Well, if they had more money than the 1%, they wouldn't be coming here, right? It wouldn't be like, we're rich. Let's move. Nobody does that. Socialist Democrat candidates will win across America with their new voting bloc that is eager to vote for the people in the Democratic Party that have made their entire presence here possible. They will be eager to repay the people that made their invasion of our American homeland

a successful endeavor. They will vote for the people that are going to tax and debt American citizens to pay for their cell phones, to pay for their health care, to pay for their education, to pay for the entire socialist states of America that are wrapped around these people. They've walked out of third-world world poverty jungle conditions in Peru and Honduras and are now living high off the American taxpayer, just like Obama's late Aunt Zutini Onyongo. What the fuck is he even talking about?

I have no idea. His late Aunt Zutini Onyongo. Is that a thing? I don't have any idea what he's talking about i also don't have any idea what he's talking about the people are living high off the american taxpayer what what does that even mean like i'm an american taxpayer is somebody is somebody getting high off my money am i am i paying for illegal immigrants to buy fucking mcmansions and i don't know it i had no idea that that was the case did you know that that was the case no idea yeah the thing is is though i actually i actually think that i'm okay with

paying for people's mansions you know what i mean like i i already pay for all the different people in this country that fucking already suck on the government seat see here congress to pay for their mansion so why not fucking pay for somebody else's mansion somebody might actually appreciate the mention right fucking change of pace was doing and they're going to vote democrat and while liberals will be the original recipient uh because of their treasonous behavior on this matter, they will receive a boost for five or ten years. But then the next wave and the next wave of unending waves of illegal immigration will pour into the United States.

And the liberals and themselves, then they will be dismayed to see the things that they cared about denigrated and destroyed by these waves of illegal immigration. But at that point, there'll be no conservatives or in power or anything that can help them to get out of the mess. Oh, please save us, Daddy. Please save us. Save us from our own fucking demise that we've created. I love that these illegal immigrants are going to swoop in here, and they're going to so affect the American political system that all of a sudden Democrats and Republicans will both fail to get anything in common.

Wait a minute. That's already what's happening. Yeah, no kidding. You don't need an influx of 15 million voters to have that happen. It turns out we can send 500 fucking old white guys and they'll get nothing done. We can cock this up on our own. Right? We've got this shit covered.

Basically, this is the death of the United States. This is the end of the republic, to which most of us have sworn allegiance to. So yes, I think it's just the point where American citizens are going to have to follow in the tradition of Martin Luther King and Gandhi and other civil disobedience type practices to signal the rest of America that this is the point of no return. This is the point where your nation is being taken from you in a final blow and unless people wake up and really turn this thing around.

I love that he's like using brown people to defend against brown people. Right. By the way, Martin Luther King and Gandhi, if they applied for citizenship, I would deny it, by the way. You know, citizenship. That's fucking amazeballs. There's a there's another one here. It's only a minute seven. Let's listen to what he says. Let's examine this shutdown of DHS. And we saw how far the president was able to take a shutdown of government. I mean, closing down open air memorials like World War Two Veterans Memorial. He put up barricades along the highway to keep people from looking at Mount Rushmore along the side of the highway. Do you do you anticipate that he would just seek to wreak

havoc in any way possible, like pulling all border guards away from our borders or creating chaos at the airports by pulling back on TSA agents? Or allowing terrorists to walk right in here and attack us to show us how much we need the protection of the crime bosses, the shakedown racket that people in Chicago or the Chicago mob are fully familiar with. You need our protection. You need our protection. You need our protection. Yeah, I wouldn't put anything past the people who are doing this.

Why is it then that there hasn't been more terrorist attacks? Well, because they didn't want it. The thing is that we let the terrorists in, but they were just like, eh. God. Changed my mind. What the fuck? Did you see, by the way, you know, I'm going gonna stop playing this because he cares about what this guy is saying but did you see this week somebody posted on our facebook page after our last episode and they said some shit like i'm watching you guys yeah you guys are you guys like

like fall back on your word or the government's paying you or something i did and i i actually they were like super ellipsy and they posted again on something and i actually said like i i called him out and i said listen man just stop take a deep breath take a deep breath and form a single complete thought and express it all at once it's amazing it's so funny and this is this guy here is falling into that conspiracy nonsense right he's saying oh, Obama has so much power that he could just call off, you know, the thousands and more than that, you know, tens of thousands of people we have

that are monitoring other countries, that are paying attention to the air, all the different ways in which they pay attention to terrorist activities. And he can just call them off. He can just get on his giant red phone and it basically sends a voicemail to everybody who works for him

and he says, hey guys, we're going to lay off for a little bit because we want somebody to attack America and nobody says anything. Everybody who works for him, every single person who works for him, most of those people hate him. They're going to just be like,

oh, whatever he said, no problem. Let's just let somebody come in here and blow fucking America up. No problem. Just the logistics of that are the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He's treating the American security infrastructure like a fucking Toyota assembly line. Exactly. Where you can just run over and pull the emergency stop.

And it's like. And the whole thing just grinds to a halt. And it's like, oh, we're not making any more fucking, you know, Priuses for a few minutes till we figure out what's going on. Like, hold on a minute. We got to let the fucking terrorists attack. Why? I don't know.

Obama said so. Oh, well, fuck me then. I guess I'll get a Slurpee. Nobody's doing that. Nobody is doing that. You know, this guy, like he goes on, he says the Democratic Socialists, when they take over, turn the whole country blue with this new army. They're going to give the illegal immigrants badges. They're going to give them guns. They're going to put them in positions of authority over Americans in every way imaginable. So when you step out your door and there's a knock at the door, you're going to be looking at the new face of the state, which is at the prior illegal immigrant that now has a badge and a gun and dominion over you. immigrant that now has a badge and a gun and dominion over you.

That is never, ever, never going to happen. Never, ever, never, ever, never. It's not going to happen. You fucking lunatard. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT.

That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-O-N dot com forward slash DissonancePod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from Boing Boing.

I can't say that seriously. Saudi cleric, Earth does not revolve around the sun. The moon landing was faked. Because religion. This is pretty great. This has been circulating and I was actually looking for something that was more than just the video. So the only thing I could find really is the Boing Boing article. To call something from Boing Boing an article is somewhat generous.

But Sheikh Bandar Al-Khalibari. That's pretty good, actually. Right? Yeah. I think so. Sheikh Bandar Al-Khalabari. Yeah. Khalabari.

Khalabari. Al-Khalabari. I love Khalabari with a little bit of lemon on it. It's delicious. Anyway, he's a Muslim cleric. No surprise. They're all clerics from Saudi Arabia. He's made some remarks.

He says the earth is stationary and does not move. He talks about how he knows that it's stationary. And his example is that basically if you're in an airplane and you stand still and the Earth was moving, then the Earth would revolve underneath you until you arrived at your destination. What? I don't even know what that means. If a plane stops in midair, he continues, China would be coming towards it. I don't even know what that means. If a plane stops in midair, he continues, China would be coming towards it. Like this is a dude.

Like this is like my first thought was like, yeah, man, you guys don't science good. You know what I mean? Like this is the problem. When you replace scientific literacy with, you know, Quranic literacy. Like when you go to school and the only thing the schools and the madrasas are teaching you is, you know, Quranic literacy rather than scientific literacy, then, yeah, man, that's like a second grader's understanding of how the earth rotation works if you're on an airplane. of how the earth rotation works if you're in an airplane like it's just like it's just like saying like if i'm if i'm on an if i'm on a train and i jump in the air how come the back of the train doesn't rush forward and smack me in the ass yeah why is that that's amazing what's going on

father i ask that you would forgive us for taking prayer out of the schools. Father, when that happened, secular humanism flooded in. Father, it began to penetrate every part of the curriculum. But today, Lord, we reach up into heaven and we say, on this day, your kingdom come. Your will be done in public education once again. We draw the line in the sand today and we say no more. This story comes from the progressive secular humanist blog of Patheos. Oklahoma Bill replaces AP history with Bible studies and sermons.

And that at first, you know, at first, Cecil, that sounded pretty bad because I thought, you know, I thought like, man, like, what about those kids? Like they're in high school and they want to take that AP class and get the college credit. And then I remembered nobody in Oklahoma is going to college. Oh, no. And if they are, they're not going with AP credit. That's so bad. Oh, man. Yeah, it's so bad.

This is sad as hell, isn't it? I mean, you're basically taking away the chance for your students to excel. And just, I mean, you're just putting a fucking anchor on them. I mean, you might as well just be like, oh, you know, you were doing so well, but we're just going to strap this anchor on you because, man, we don't want you getting all them smarts. Right, right. We don't want you getting smart and saving money. You know, like that's the other thing is advanced placement credits save you a lot of money like that's those are classes you don't have to pay for when you go to college yep that's so true man you know like i remember i i had a bunch of ap credits and it was awesome because it saved me a ton of money i was like man

that's like every class cost a dollars and I don't have to spend those dollars. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like that's great. But, you know, Oklahoma's got plenty of money, so they don't have to worry about it. That's I mean, the pig farms and everything they got. I mean, just the money is rolling. Now that Obama is going to be paying for the the community college, I mean, this is really where they were going to be going anyway. That's terrible. You know, at least they, I will say, though, in their defense, they had a good reason. They said that the current structure advanced placement history courses focus on what is bad about America and that they omit American exceptionalism. In other words, they're accurate.

Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine that? Like, we don't want to teach the kids about the shit we've done wrong. I wouldn't even. The thing is, like, and I'm being kind of serious here. I don't even portray an image of myself that way to my child. Right. love myself that way to my child, right? Like, I don't portray myself as somebody who does no wrong to my son, because that would be an incomplete way for him to understand who I am. I, you know,

I have good days and I have bad days and I apologize to him when I do things that are wrong. I don't try to only show, I don't try to show an incomplete picture of my humanity to my child, right? I do temper what I show my child, of course, but I don't try to show an exceptionalism type thing, right? Because it would be inaccurate because he would grow up thinking that this vision, that this icon that he's created that's his father would be this thing and it's not really this thing. Like I want it to – I want that relationship to be genuine and authentic. And that's just how I treat a child. Right. Is so inauthentic and and that it's being marketed to you in a purposefully inauthentic way in order to make you feel good about the things maybe you shouldn't feel good about. There's this that American exceptionalism stuff, though, to me, shouts it sort of it sort of exposes that there really is some problems.

And all we're really willing to do is just cover them up. All we're willing to do is say, no, no, no, no, don't look behind the fucking curtain. I'm going to tell you how great we are. No, no, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't investigate. I just want to tell you how great we are. It strikes me as this all or nothing mentality that is that is pervasive everywhere nowadays. It's this America's great period. Well, you know, okay.

You know, maybe you think America's great, but there's, I mean, he's got to look at it and say, well, maybe they've done some things that I don't agree with, or maybe they've done some things that we should be sorry for. This idea that we're,

we're just going to paint with this broad brush that everything is positive. It's such a fucking liar's argument. I just hate it so much. I hate that all or nothing bullshit. That's because it's overly simplistic, right? Like we're a country with a history. We've done really great stuff. We've done really bad stuff.

We've done stuff that's really in between. Wouldn't you want like, wouldn't you want your best and brightest students to walk away with a nuanced understanding? No kidding, right? Are we considered acceptable losses? Jenny, let's bring it down just a notch here for a second. Okay, when we look at autism, 75% of kids with autism, there's demonstrated change that the child has in the first year of life

before they get to this period where they're getting the measles, mom's German measles vaccine. Give me some measles. I'll take that way over autism any day. This story is the schadenfreude story, right? Comes from Huffington Post. Measles outbreak hits Texas church that preached against

vaccines. And when I heard this, I immediately heard Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons. Ha ha! You had it up already oh that's awesome that's exactly what i thought oh god oh i shouldn't laugh but I should laugh. But ha ha!

Man, people treat measles in such a weird way. They treat it like it's just such a wave of the hand. Like, oh, no problem. It's just the measles. Man, it's not a cakewalk. The measles suck. Yep. And people die. The measles suck. Yep. And people die from the measles.

And you just look at all the pictures that are coming out now because there's a lot of people with the measles, it turns out. Sure. And then you get a chance to take a picture and you look at some of these photos and you're just like, man, why in the fuck would you do that to somebody? Why wouldn't you just plan this ahead but people think immediately like have this there's just this feeling of distrust that people have uh with the medical profession with other professions with like food and and and it's all these it's all these people who just i i don't i don't understand their mentality they i think that they want to be critical. They want to be critical thinkers and they want to think about some things. But they're they just stop midway where they they get critical, but then they just don't they don't follow anything to their logical conclusion. They just stop and say, oh, well, you know, we should question more our our vaccines. OK, well, why

should we do that? Let's let's look into like, absolutely. We should question what people inject into our body. OK, that was done. Now, why should we ignore the? Let's let's look into like. Absolutely. We should question what people inject into our body. OK, that was done. Now, why should we ignore the results? Yeah, well, right. That's and that's a great point. Like, I think I think absolutely would be a nightmare if we were just like, yeah. So should we run some tests on that vaccine? But that's not what anybody does.

Nobody's just over things. Like, we extensively study things. They don't inject you and be like, what was in that? Here's your lollipop. Shh. We don't know. I thought you knew. Fuck.

Look, here's the thing. We just take a syringe and fill it with hope and whatever fucking ground water we find laying around it's not herbal supplements people yeah it's actually tested it's a thing it's funny because i was i was talking to somebody recently about uh allergies and this person had developed an allergy uh after years of use uh to makeup they had developed this allergy and uh and and they had said something like why don't we question what we put on our body why is it we're not questioning these things and i'm thinking you don't think that that stuff is tested extensively the stuff you put on your face they fucking shave fucking rabbits and rub that

shit on those things constantly. Are you kidding me? Like they test that stuff all the time. And you're not even paying attention to what happened to you. What happened to you was you developed an allergy. An allergy is not a wide-ranging thing. It's a very personal thing. Yeah, it's not like you had like a fucking – it's not like you put it on and, oh, yeah, it contained phosphoric acid and it burned you. Yeah, and everybody gets – if everybody gets the allergy, then there's a problem.

But if a select few people get an allergy, I understand that we got to question what we put in our products. I recognize that. Yeah, I think that there should be safeguards. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be safeguards. But at the same time, I feel like there's this level of micromanaging that we want to do to companies, even though that they regulate, they're regulated and they regulate themselves. And then they also are regulated by outside forces like governmental institutions and other things like ratings and gradings, voluntary gradings and different things like that. I just feel like we want to micromanage them in some way to make sure that they do some things. Just because we don't like the way that the chemical sounds. Like, oh, you're using a chemical in this stuff.

Everything is a chemical. The world's made up of atoms that are bonded together and thems be chemicals. Right. That's it. Like, full fucking stop it's like the food babe you know she came out with something recently said that there is no acceptable level of chemicals to put in your body and i was like well the world die what are you saying yeah like it's just it's it's it's it's an ignorance um it's an ignorance that really – or a fear I should say that stems from our own ignorance.

Like we don't know what something is and we're just like vaguely uneasy and like we allow that vague, uneasy feeling to dictate our actions. And so instead of saying like I don't know what that is, I should find out what that is. It's the lazy part, right? It's like saying, like, I don't know what that is, so it must be bad. Yeah. Like, why don't you just do the first part? Like, I don't know what that is. I'll find out what it is.

And then I'll decide if it's good or bad or sideways. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This is amazing. This story comes from Gizmodo.com. Pat Robertson says demons can curse your unborn child through Facebook. I'm surprised Pat Robertson knew what Facebook was. I'm not going to lie about that.

No, like his enemies, he kills them and he makes books and he takes their skin from their face and he covers the book. Oh, yeah. So that's how it works. Actual Facebook. It's like the Necronomicon kind of. It's sort of like from the Evil Dead. So we're going to play Cthulhu here. He's going to talk about some demons in Facebook.

This is Pat Robertson from the 700 Club. This is Cynthia who says, my daughter is pregnant with her first child, my first grandchild, and obviously there's a lot of rejoicing and excitement. Young parents now regularly post fetal ultrasound photos as their Facebook photo. From a spiritual point of view, is there any harm in doing this? Please give me your thoughts on this. Shut the fuck up. Somebody asked that question? Are you serious? hold on a minute now i mean to be fair pat robertson did have to crack open his bible and search the index for the component inside that said uh fetal ultrasound yeah and facebook profile right and when he found fucking nothing at all he just made something up here's what he made up i don't

think there's any harm in it but i tell you there are demons and they're evil people in the world and you post a picture like that and some cultist gets hold of it a covenant they begin muttering curses against an unborn child i I just don't think that this business of, I mean, posting the most intimate parts of your body on Facebook, I just can't see it. To me, it's abhorrent, but it isn't necessarily unbiblical. It's just abhorrent. There's no harm in it, but there might be demons cursing your baby through Facebook. But there might be demons cursing your baby through Facebook. What kind of weird world does Pat Robertson live in where the only thing a demon-possessed Satanist can do is troll Facebook for photos of fucking unborn children so he could chant over them?

What kind of lame-ass life do you have? If I'm a Satanist, why wouldn't I just be doing all of the evil shit that could, like, get me rich and laid? Right? Or, like, what do you get out of? I want to understand what the demon gets out of cursing a fetus. No. Like, what is step two? You know what I mean?

Like, it's like, I cursed a fetus that I don't know. Oh, really? So what's next? Quiz knows. I don't know. Oh, really? So what's next? Quiz knows. I don't know. I'm meeting for Rusevalk for lunch. We're going to talk about our chanting over photo spells. What are you saying?

Okay, so and then why does the demon need the photo? Like, because Satan has a bad memory. You got to remind them who it is that you're actually like praying against. But like, if you believed in this worldview, were the demons just waiting 2000 years for the invention of photography? And who are these people who have uh you know a facebook page watch pat robertson are friends with satan how does that even work like set your profile to satan what are you you're friending the wrong people on facebook you're just like

oh uh people who can see this photo, friends, acquaintances. Satanists. Satanic cults. Oh, they seem like such a nice satanic cult. Oh, gosh. Is she like the person on Facebook, like the likes are Satan? That's it? That's just the only, like, you navigate over, like, oh, I got a friend request. Who from? The father of lies.

Yes. Okay. Except I need new friends. Oh, there's another one. Lucy Furr. There he is right there. Oh, I think I know a Lucy. Maybe she's from The Office.

Hang on a minute. Oh, no. She cursed my unborn child, but only because they saw a photo. I would have never been able to do it if I didn't so neglectfully put my child's photo on Facebook. It used to take so much longer for the demons to curse because it took so much longer for them to take the photos. Yeah, and they had no idea if it was a boy or a girl.

Right. They were just like, is it a boy or a girl? I don't know whether to send a pink or a blue curse. I don't know which one to do. I'll just, you know what? I'll hedge. I'll send a green and yellow curse. Send a blue curse. I don't know which one to do. I'll just, you know what? I'll hedge. I'll send a green and yellow curse. Send a green one.

Here, it's a fucking duck-shaped curse. That's what you get. You get a rubber ducky curse. Screw it. I'm just going to send a bone stroller. Are you registered at Curses R Us? Where's your demonic registry? I see you're at Curses R Us? Where's your demonic registry? I see you're at Walmart.

Perfect. Same difference. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. I love this story.

This story comes from also from progressive secular humanist blog of patheos. Idaho woman beats Jewish woman in an attempt to coerce a Christian conversion. Well, that'll work. Read the New Testament. No, I don't want to read it. Believe it. No, he can't make me believe the New Testament. I believe half of it.

It's not enough. I believe half of it. Only the really bad parts I believe, actually. I believe all the most intolerant pieces. Come on, can't we take gays together? I believe all the pieces that are so fucking ridiculously outdated, they can't all possibly, none of them can be put into practice. Look, can't you just turn it to like Deuteronomy and we'll do a DIY arc?

Can't we just do that together? Right. Or maybe like a fucking, what are the other things that he creates? What was it the other thing? A tabernacle. There you go. Look, come on. You could just go to Pinterest and find yourself your favorite.

It's like your favorite tabernacle on Pinterest, and then you just make it. I pinned this tabernacle and this arc, and I'm just waiting for a flood and a Bronze Age war god. Okay, good. I've got all the pieces. How do you convince somebody by attacking them and like what the fuck the defendant began by kicking the victim in the stomach the thyroid during the time the victim was screaming or the defendant was screaming at the victim that she had better accept jesus or she would not be let up it reminds me of that pastor who punched the

smart kid until he crumpled. I don't even understand how that's effective. Well, maybe she heard that sermon and was like, man, maybe you just got to punch people for Jesus. It's like the Jews for Jesus, but it's like boxers for Jesus. It's like KOs for Jesus. She was standing on the victim's neck at a certain point. Okay. But was she doing it with love?

When you're a Christian, you go through certain religious rites. So you go through like the rite of communion. I wonder if this is like one of those rites, like the rite of beating the hell out of somebody and forcing them to take the Lord. Admittedly, it's an unorthodox conversion technique. Admittedly. Yeah. Cause the Orthodox Jews already beat people up. The Orthodox Jews wouldn't Brooke any of this shit either though.

No, especially not from a woman. Are you kidding me? Who thinks that's going to work? I don't know. Like, but also Cecil, who would just, who, if you're getting your ass kicked, I would just be like, yeah, fine. Stop kicking my ass. I'm fucking wicking. Like by the end of that thing.

Whatever you say. Right. Are you kidding? Let's go to Ragnarok and hang out with Thor. I don't give a shit. We want to thank our most recent patrons, Buzz, Joe, Derek, Chris, Cody, Angel, Denny, and Tamim? Sure.

Tamim, I guess. You know who you are. Sure. Thank you very much. We also want to thank the people who sent us direct donations through PayPal. We want to thank Will and Brian for sending in donations. Thanks, everybody, for donating to the show. We really appreciate it. And we look forward to meeting a lot of people when we travel down to,

what is it, Hickory? Is that where we're going? Hick. Hick. Hick. North Carolina. You can stop halfway through, right? Hick, North Carolina.

That's where we're going that's terrible all these you know the thing is like we're to spend two months leading up to our our globe trotting tour to hick north carolina just making fun of north carolina so that when we get there we're actually less welcome than we would normally someone will be standing on our throat for sure that's gonna i'll convert, though. Convert immediately. I am a North Carolinian. Yeah, I'm fucking let's get some coon dogs or hillbillies

or whatever you guys do. Like, fine. Yes, I will eat your barbecue. Sure, I'll jug with you or whatever your local tradition is. Let's smell some jankum together or whatever you do. No, no, no. We're actually really looking forward to our travels to the Backward Hill country.

It should be great. Yeah, it should be great. I had sex with my sister just to celebrate. Just to be part of the gang. So we got a message. This is from Cody. And Cody says, on the last episode, you were talking about correlations about how drinking chocolate milk and falling down later doesn't mean the chocolate milk caused the fall. The discussion reminded me of a site I saw a while back that put strong correlations between completely random things.

So I'm going to put a link to this on our website. It is very funny. I dug through this for a little while, and this site really made me laugh. And there's some really great ones in there. And they're just completely random. The very top one is U.S. spending on science, space, and technology. And it correlates with suicides by hanging, strangulation, and suffocation. It's just that it matches perfectly. So all these different graphs match up.

And it's very funny. So dig your way through here. It's called sp. So dig your way through here. It's called Spurious Correlations. The only one that I didn't think when I looked through it that was necessarily spurious was the divorce rate in Mississippi correlates with murders by bodily force. And I thought, well, maybe there's something there. Yeah, it is Mississippi after all. We got a message from Jesse and Jesse says, I wanted to make a comment about your discussion at the Chapel Hill shooting. I think you guys did a great job, but I wanted to draw attention to something that I heard you guys say. I guess it boils down to it feels like you're conflating denouncing something and apologizing for it.

Basically, talking about denouncement of these type of incidents by atheists and also Muslims, and then went on to say you don't feel like you should be apologizing for the actions of one crazy asshole. I agree. However, I wanted to highlight the fact that denouncing something and apologizing for it are vastly different. I would argue that in this case, no, they're not. I think when you denounce this, you're denouncing it and sort of taking ownership of it in some way. Because if you're denouncing this particular murder, why aren't you denouncing the murder that happened on the West side in Chicago last night, or the murder that happened,

you know, in like four weeks ago in Europe, wherever that happened. I don't even know if they're having to have murders over there, but in any case, wherever you're saying this, you know, I've got to,

I've got to denounce a murder. Well, it's just a murder. It's just a, it's just a guy who shot some people. So why do I have to denounce a person? I don't even have any relation to unless I'm saying, oh, well, he was an atheist and these actions motivated him.

So therefore, I feel some sort of responsibility to denounce it. That is an apology. I think that it's a distinction without a difference. Yeah, I think when you denounce something, you're saying I have a relationship to this thing, and that's why I feel a need to denounce it, right? I have no relationship. As an atheist, as a vocal atheist, even, I have no relationship to this murder whatsoever. So, you know, Cecil and I talked about this before the show. We denounce all violence.

We denounce it in a blanket fashion. We don't need to do it on a case-by-case basis. And we certainly don't need to do it when the violence does not bear any relationship to myself. I'm not related in any way to the perpetrator of the violence. So do I denounce this? Yes, I denounce this the same way that I denounce eggnog or any other heinous act. Come on now. The Chapel Hill murderings are not as bad as eggnog.

They're not quite as bad. No. I mean, because they're over. You know what I mean? There won't be another. There'll still be eggnog tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.

We got a message. This is from Simo. And Simo says, by the way, I was listening to old episodes and you pointed out in several episodes that the Middle East, there seems to be a metric shit ton of clerics and I thought if you ever converted to Islam

and started a new apologetic podcast, you could call it Everyone's a Cleric. I think that's great. I actually sent the guy back a message that I, I'm just disappointed that I didn't think of that.

I know. It's amazing. It's so funny. Although to be fair, we didn't know that they were all clerics at the time. We didn't at that time. Later on, we're just like, Jesus, there's a lot of clerics over there. We got a message from, this is from Steve. And Steve says, he just said this message.

I didn't even think he put anything on there. But I do want to post this message. So this is just, I don't even want to say anything. this is just a meme, but it's funny. And it's an image on coffee, and it made us laugh. It's very funny. Dee has a question for us, Tom. So Dee's question is, as one of your loyal Canadian listeners, I was wondering if one of the reasons people are so anti-vaccination in the U.S. is that vaccinations cost money. I'm not sure what the U.S. health

care system covers. And here in Canada, everything is free. Mind you, we still have stupid people who don't vaccinate their kids, but that's a whole different issue. Anyway, I was just wondering if that was an issue. I don't think so. I don't. I really don't. It's never raised as an objection to the vaccine question. And I take I tend to take people's word on their objections. I think people are tend to be pretty honest and vocal when it comes to the vaccine issue about specifically about what they find objectionable. I don't think they're hiding this issue in their back pocket and just not bringing it up and making up health concerns rather than financial concerns. So I don't think it's a significant issue. And the cost for most vaccines is pretty nominal, all things considered.

You know, if you're at a certain threshold, they are picked up by government programs. If you're above that threshold and insured, almost all insurance covers vaccines at a tremendous rate in order to encourage their use. So, you know, for most people in the country, vaccines are pretty available pretty cheaply. We got a message from Richard and he said, I just listened to episode 207 of your discussion about climate change reminded me of this cartoon that made the rounds in the tubes a few times over the years. And I hadn't seen this before, but the cartoon is a cartoon of the climate summit. And it says on the giant board on a PowerPoint, it says energy independence preserve rainforest sustainability green jobs livable

cities renewables clean water clean air healthy children etc etc and then uh this person's asking questions to the audience and somebody says in the audience what if it's a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing that's's a great, great comic. Thank you so much for sending it. Tom, we got a message. This is from Alexi. He's happy that you can count again. Yeah, he says, may I say, as far as professionalism goes,

your show took a giant step forward since episode 200. Tom seems so confident with the intro and the episode numbering now. My body no longer tenses with anxiety when i hear him say every episode i no longer wonder is he going to fuck it up again i blame the arithmetic let me explain my eight-year-old may pause when asked to calculate 197 plus one on the other hand if asked to calculate 207 plus one she would confidently produce the answer without delay it makes perfect sense this means listeners of cognitive dissonance will enjoy about three smooth and highly professional intros before things get difficult again well i think he fucked it up today

but i didn't fuck up the numbering this time yeah no you fucked it up i mean come on he did say that he is writing though because uh he's been married to his wife for almost nine years they sent a piece of paper to courthouse without any religious ceremonies and uh now we are suggesting cecil that maybe he was just unionized with his partner instead uh fuck that i generally agree with your point about the thing itself mattering more than the labels we put on it i've been thinking of myself as a married man who has a wife if there's a good reason for it i I would call myself a union member instead. Placating the crazies, though, is not a good reason. Words matter. We should be very careful about giving them up. Thank you, Alexi.

So, Alexi, I agree generally that words matter. I'm on that. But the thing is, you could still call yourself married. Yeah, that's that's the point. The point is what the government gets to do, right? So the government should not be involved in our opinion, or at least in my opinion. I don't want to speak for you, Cecil. But in my opinion, the government should not be involved in creating marriages. That's a private action. Whether you create your marriage through a religious ceremony or a personal ceremony just by looking at your partner and saying, hey, we're married now. And that's all that you require in order to feel that you're

married. That's fine. What the government should do, though, what the government's business is, is conferring rights and responsibilities and protections and taxation. And they can do that just as effectively by forming civil unions as they could by sanctioning marriage. And they can do that just as effectively by forming civil unions as they could by sanctioning marriage. And I think that was kind of our point, or at least it was mine. Yeah. And the other thing, too, is that when you say, you know, words matter. Yeah, they matter. So what you do is you take the power out of that word. That word has power now over other people because the religious people claim that word and say, well, marriage is a religious institution. Marriage is a religious institution.

Well, the moment you depower that word and you say, well, that's fine. Government's out of the marriage business then. All we're doing is giving civil unions. Then the word has no power over anyone anymore. So you can't come up to me and say, oh, well, I've got a marriage. Well, who gives a shit? I've got a civil union. Who cares?

They're the same goddamn thing. So I just feel like this is, again, a semantics argument. I think that the reason why this is important and why it should be, I agree with Tom, I think the reason why it's important is because people should have these rights. And if it takes changing a word to get these people the rights, I'm all for it. Let's get the people the rights. Tom, we got a message from Dave that you thought was pretty good. Dave was listening to us talk about the fact that we would never set foot in a Muslim country.

And Cecil and I would not – at least I wouldn't. I would not feel safe after having done 209 episodes of this show. I really wouldn't. I would feel very unsafe going to any Muslim-dominated country, which is really disappointing, by the way, because I've always wanted to see the pyramids. Like, really, really would love to see the pyramids. Really, really will not ever go to Egypt.

Yeah. So unless some shit really changes. Anyway, he was relating a story about his daughter having an opportunity to go to Iran with his with her best friend her best friend was an Iranian girl and his response I love this was are you fucking kidding me there is no fucking way you were setting foot in that backward fucking shithole of a country oh Jesus man I gotta tell you though I am right there like if yeah i would never i would never feel comfortable sending my son to and and part of it is my fault i would hate for somebody to find out

that he's the son of somebody who's done this podcast and take that aggression out on him i wouldn't feel comfortable we got a message uh this is from Kevin. And Kevin says, you're going to North Carolina. Do yourself a favor and find a cookout fast food chain. Get the cheddar-style cookout tray with double onion rings and a milkshake. I moved to Tennessee a few years ago. And when I go back home to visit, finding a cookout is the first thing I do. You can thank me when the diarrhea clears up. That's pretty great.

Man, what is it, like White Castle then? Yeah, right? No, it can't be that bad. That's true. So we did a recording tonight on a podcast called Relevant Nonsense. We'll be posting a link to their podcast on this episode's show notes. Expect to see us on their show relatively soon. We're hoping in the next

couple days we'll let people know when it comes out we'll probably retweet it and probably facebook it uh but you could catch us on their show very soon we are also and this is a amazing turnaround time andy uh who got our stuff from the incredulous we were on incredulous with the scathing atheist last week and uh andy looked like he put it all together. He's going to probably release it pretty soon. So we're looking forward to when Incredulous releases. We'll post a link to it on that episode show notes, but we'll also Facebook it and retweet it and things like that.

So if you're interested in hearing us in other places, there's a couple other places that we've been recently. And I, for one, am glad that we're back on Incredulous after being away for three episodes. Yeah, that three episodes is like a year and a half. I know, that's what been recently. And I, for one, am glad that we're back on Incredulous after being away for three episodes. Yeah, that three episodes is like a year and a half. I know, that's what I mean. It felt like it was, you know, I was getting a little lonely.

I was feeling a little neglected. So we're going to wrap it up, and we're going to leave you, as we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead,

pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Pan sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music you