Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 216: Luciferian Illuminatus

Episode Date: March 26, 2015

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What day of the week do you look forward to most? Well, it should be Wednesday. Ahem, Wednesday. Why, you wonder? Whopper Wednesday, of course. When you can get a great deal on a whopper. Flame grilled and made your way. And you won't want to miss it.

So make every Wednesday a whopper Wednesday. Only at Burger King, where you rule. Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app. Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 216, the episode that almost wasn't. You see, folks, I did the work-ish, you know, what passes for work, preparing for this episode. And rather than posting it on our collective cognitive dissonance page, I posted that to my personal page.

And then wondered why Cecil had not yet read the stories. What do you mean by page? Do you mean Google Docs, Tom? Well, I like to think of that as a page, sir. You're like my dad. He's just like, what is that, a page? Do you mean Google Docs, Tom? Well, I like to think of that as a page, sir. You're like my dad. What is that, a page? What is that, huh? What is that, velvet? That's awesome.

I've got it in the emails. Stick it in the emails. You gotta put a stamp on it. Where is that in my Netscape? Where is that? What's this button do? The thing with the pointy. Where is that in my Netscape? Where is that? Now what's this button do? The thing with the pointy. What does that do? Do I click it two times

or one time? He's sitting there double clicking. Stop double clicking. Just stop double clicking. Oh no, he's triple clicking. That doesn't do anything. You teach them one time how to double click and they double click everything. My dad double clicks everything. He's like double clicking their unlock button to get in their car.

He's like, clickety-click, clickety-click. My dad's super fast at clicking. I'm like, don't click it. Stop. Clickety-click. Do you ever hang out with your parents or- Parents, yeah. Parents or associates?

I don't hang out with my parents anymore. While they are on the computer searching for something you ever have them be like oh let me show you this thing from my vacation or whatever no have you ever ever had that experience of sitting standing behind my parents never went on any vacations so it's real easy no i stand behind my dad sometimes while he's operating the computer and i'm just like like, it's like, I mean, it's gritting your teeth. It's so bad. So I teach people how to do technology. And the very best thing you can do is when they're trying to teach them how to do something and they start to do it wrong.

The first thing you say is, can I drive for a second? And then you just you root them out of their seats and then you show them how to do it. And you do it as immediately because if you don't you will grind your teeth down to nubs is what will happen the best is when when my dad and i were planning a fishing trip and i was like he's like well how are we gonna find you know the outfitter to go through whatever i'm like we'll just we'll start with google man we'll just start looking we'll find some reviews i'm like this will be no problem and i'm thinking the same thing like i'm gonna sit i'm gonna drive you're gonna hunch over my but he sits in that chair and he clicks every ad and

every banner and it's just like if it was shaped like a fish we were clicking on it i'm just like we're gonna fucking end up like in a fucking walmart in the ozarks either i don't get in front of this computer either that or his computer going to light on fire in like 30 seconds. I know, right? Like, here's like all the viruses. Well, boys and girls, put your hand up if you've heard of the word evolution. Oh, boy, I think just about everyone puts their hands up. So this first story comes from the Inquisitor.

Or is it the Inquisitor or just Inquisitor? I guess it's just Inquisitor. Is it the Inquisitor or just Inquisitor? I guess it's just Inquisitor. Ken Ham, black and white twins prove evolution is a lie. There are two races, the saved and the unsaved. So is the

black one the unsaved one? I know, right? It's so funny because when you read that, you can't help but think about, at least for me, I was like, isn't that what the Mormons thought? Because didn't the Mormons think that black folks were black because it was like the mark of Cain or something? Maybe he thinks that if there's a black and a white twin, that one of them is like the fathers and the other one is put there by god there you go it's the one of them was uh the one of them was immaculate conception the other was maury povich they had no idea that god was black they're just like we had no idea wow that's startling in startling news

god's black and somewhat confused when looking around at the present state. Like, hey. He's confusing, like, species, I think. He's totally confusing species with race, which is, I mean, it tells you a lot about how he views race, right? He's crazy because what he says, he says, as we pointed out before, there are other examples of families having twins with different skin shades. And it's like, well, why would that even be surprising to anybody? You've got two eggs if they're, I mean, why would that even be? It would be unusual, yes, but it would not be like, wow, how could that happen? Anyway, he says, these families illustrate that we really are only one race. Okay, well, yes, I agree with that.

Now evolution is where he goes off the train. Now evolutionary ideas about the past predicted that there would be different races as different groups evolved at different times. No. There were three species of man that sort of evolved into us. There was the Neanderthals. There was the Homo sapiensiens which is what eventually we became and then there's another one called the denisovian i think is how it's pronounced and they were the ones from asia so there was like the asian group the european group and the

african group and the african group was the one that actually wound up surviving and the other two didn't so there was actually and and we actually interbreeded with them so like there was some interbreeding that was going on between the two the three groups uh they found dna of the uh the denisovian ones in asian some asian people so they found dna that matched that so there has been inter interbreeding it just happened a long time ago like a really long time ago what he wants to do is demonize evolution because he says here he says evolution is inherently a racist philosophy he's trying to go out of his way to say that there's you know there's racism inherent this

and god is love and the creationist ideas those are all like fucking inclusiveness and loving and whatever and there's no racial uh there's no there's no racism present so he's trying to demonize it um to try to make it look like his ideas are superior but the thing is he doesn't understand what race means i do like that he says that uh it kind of came from the tower of babel like that's where he gets that's where he gets his ideas about how different to explain variations, you know, superficial variations in human appearance, which is really all that race is. He says, God judged their disobedience by confusing their languages. This forced mankind to spread out and fill the earth.

Why would it just force them to learn each other's languages? Because we're lazy. Wouldn't that be easier? Well, we're inherently lazy to be alive seriously did you try to take fucking spanish when you're in high school that shit sucks that's boring man what are they all american they're just like fuck it i'm done i'm not learning another language gosh as long as i could say gordita in spanish I'm fine. Allah, Akbar, Akbar, Allah, Akbar, Allahu, Akbar, just a little Allah. Thank you, Chicago.

Well, get your sightseeing done now. Or actually not now, because I wouldn't go to Egypt if you put a fucking gun to my head. This story is from Syracuse. ISIS wantsgypt's pyramids and the sphinx destroyed leader calls it religious duty can can you smell that that's religious duty tom it's religious duty and it does stink doesn't it man so you know, another Islamist cleric shocker, right, issued a fatwa calling on the ISIS militants to destroy the Sphinx and the pyramids. You know, I think what they're obviously doing at this point is just saying they're trying to do as much incendiary, crazy, flamboyant shit. They're like they're like the Islamist versions of an armed and coulter. Yeah. Like, oh, right. Yeah. They're just provoc Islamist versions of an armed and coulter. Yeah. Like all of them. Right. Yeah, they're just provocateurs with guns. Right.

Just constantly like, what other crazy shit can we do? I know! Let's blow up the pyramids! Those have been up for thousands of years! They're literally the only thing worth going to Egypt for! Let's blow them up! Padoons! Now nobody's going to egypt ever what do they

think god is like a dog owner and they're like dogs and the owner to show how you tear you you love him you got to tear up his shoes like is that how this works the only reason you destroy some historical landmarks or history like this is because your ideology is so fucking lame that you're afraid that any of your followers hear any alternatives it doesn't matter what the alternative is any alternative theory they're going to reject you so you're afraid of history you're afraid of anybody looking back or looking around at other things you just want to fucking put blinders on people that's the only reason you do this shit yeah well it's i mean yeah it because they look at this and they say man this the presence of these pyramids directly

contradicts like it was people had ideas about how the world worked and you know like gods and goddesses and and they have and and now we don't believe that but if if that's the case i can't write history yeah and what i want to do is when i'm what i'm weaving this narrative as much as i want to write the present i really need to also control the narrative of the past this is super inconvenient i really am having a hard time squaring this. So let's just level it. Never mind that it's a, you know, like literally, like I said, it's the only thing worth going to Egypt for. That's it. Like what else is there?

Like come for the sand. Yeah, you know. Stay for the sand. I got to be honest. I've seen pictures of them. Like I'm fine. I don't really need to go. I'm good.

of them like i'm fine i don't really need to go i'm good you know i honestly up until all the fucking crazy madness in the last 10 years or so i had always had egypt on my bucket list i had always wanted to go and see the pyramids i just thought it would just be this incredible thing to go and see something that was built so many thousands of years ago and i mean just think about how much it's withstood over the course of all those centuries it's just kind of i don't know i get a sense of awe from it uh so that's definitely time now to just fucking bulldoze them or blow them up you're not gonna do it though they say this every couple years we've been doing this podcast now and how many times have they said to do it well i know but you know that i i will say

that if anyone was going to do it isis might now in previous incarnations of the fucking wackadoos um because they've been that the militant islamists you're right have been destroying priceless artifacts for years but lesser priceless artifacts so they're not like fucking they're not destroying i don't mean to i guess i don't mean to degrade other artifacts from other cultures as as less than just less iconic is what i mean so they haven't they they you know they're they're destroying like some buddhist statues and some stuff that's happening like some older stuff that was in iraq recently they were fucking smashing shit over there but it's lesser known stuff this is straight super villain territory totally is they need a mountain with a laser that's the thing they're like this is this is this is like

syndrome from the incredibles right like this is no it's it's like stealing the moon at some point you're just like cobra commander you're just like they're like these guys are running around like firing lasers at each other blue laser versus red's blue laser versus red laser, you know? Right. Yeah, just like somebody at one point is going to ask for $1 million, you know? ISIS has a tank full of sharks with laser beams. We're fucked! Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense,

then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain. And you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa. And you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this next story comes from spokesman.com. Idaho House wants judges who rule for gay marriage impeached. And I just want him to buy a better tie. Look at that thing. That tie looks like a cheap Indian casino.

It does. It actually looks like a bingo card you would get at a cheap Indian casino. Cheap Indian casino. It's crazy looking. Where would you even buy such a fucking monstrosity? I've seen hangman's nooses that were a better accompaniment to a man's attire. What's crazy to me, Tom, is somebody here, it says Representative John McCrosty is a Democrat from Boise who's gay. A Democrat from Boise is gay.

And he's like, yeah, fucking this bill sucks. And they're all just, and they lost. They lost, specifically lost. It says in here, I think somehow, someday, we got to take a stand. You can't say an immoral behavior, according to God's word, what we've all been taught since the beginning is something that's just and that's really what this is all about we better uphold our christian morals as an example how about fornication adultery and other issues how much you fucking mind your own business about who does what with who yeah you're fucking goofballs and the idea that they're just gonna be like oh yeah we're gonna impeach judges that do a thing.

You know why this is a non-binding memorial to Congress? Because it's a meaningless attempt to be relevant in Idaho. Right. Why? And look at exactly what he says here. He says, you can't say an immoral behavior according to God's word. And you're like, God's word. Well, there it is.

Yeah. Some people in this country don't prescribe to god's word so let god worry about any sort of weird punishments he has for the fucking fetishization of sex by other people and you worry about yourself and if you think there's some sort of weird reward you're gonna get because you didn't have sex with another man while you were alive and you happen to be a man great enjoy your fucking made-up reward in heaven but other people don't believe that and they should be able to do the things they want to do in during their fucking lifetime and

you shouldn't have to fucking inflict those laws on other human beings that your god is going to punish them for anyway it's it's funny because it's the only crime i can think of and i and i'm sure there are more but it's the only one i can think of the supposed crime of homosexuality it's not obviously actually a crime where nobody in the situation everybody's worked up like this i worked worked up. It's a bad thing. But there's no harm. You can't possibly as long as there's two consenting adults. It's not like stealing, right? Stealing. It's pretty easy. I took your shit. You have less shit. I have your shit. It's pretty easy to see where the victim is. Right. Murder. Super easy. Even adultery. OK, fine. fine you know i can i can understand i can understand from your book kind of how that works but homosexuality is kind of in a weird category

where it's like everybody was fine with it except you you're this weird outside party that doesn't want it to happen you know i think i think some people would say that, you know, drugs in some ways are like that. That there's drugs, like smoking pot, let's say. That nobody's hurt. Nobody's injured by this. There's this weird sense that we've got to regulate how you handle your own life. so the story is from the guardian afghan woman killed by mob in kabul was innocent says investigator uh and i read that and i thought because there were there were this story is kind killed by mob in Kabul was innocent, says investigator. And I read that and I thought, because this story is kind of all over the place. So there's a woman who was killed by an angry mob

right in front of the police in Kabul. So that's fucking the capital of Afghanistan. And allegedly she burned a copy of the Koran. So that's what she supposedly did and then you know they the crowd fucking flipped out and they beat this woman to death and they set her on fire and just i mean they just responded like barbarians um and they investigated and they found oh she didn't even didn't even burn the quran didn't even do it and I thought who fucking cares yeah right it's like the least

who cares if she had would it have justified beating her to death and setting her on fire it would have if they fucking did the investigation right right I mean that's that's what you investigated I can't even believe that that's the focus of an investigation hang on a minute

let's see if she did. Let's not find the motherfucking people who beat this human being to death for violating a book. Yeah. Let's see if she really violated the book first, because if so, then clearly it's cool to be attacked. Sure, because then you get a chance to say, well, you know, she was beaten, but she did burn a Quran. Like, who gives a shit? Right? It's just a fucking thing, you know?

And even if it was, like, something that, like, if somebody, like, came in and was like, hey, that thing that your fucking grandma gave you and now she's dead and it's the only thing you have to remember her by, burn it! It'd be like, ah! That super sucks! Could you imagine going to court in the United States after killing someone for doing that? You think you'd get any leniency if they if they burned the only picture you had of, say, like your grandpa? You think you'd be like, oh, man, they burned the only picture I had of my grandpa and I

killed him for it. Oh, well, you're just going to be spending a lot of time in prison sir you know and here's the other crazy thing do you know what this woman's job was she's a teacher of islamic studies this is a person who teaches this shit she didn't do shit like what actually happened here is she was just a person who existed in the world. Yeah. That's it. And she was attacked by a mob of lunatics. The problem is the United States somehow encouraged them to kill that person over the over the Koran somehow. I don't know. But we'll figure out how.

It has to be something with American imperialism in Afghanistan. Tom, help me out. Let's figure it out. That's it. I think, you know, here's the thing. If American aggression had not so destabilized the region that the region itself was a powder keg ready to ignite at any moment, then the flames set to the mythical

Koran could not have lit the gunpowder fuse that was the mob's anger. Wow. I hadn't considered that. So, clearly, Cecil, if you simply take the time and effort to track back these events, if you just look at this as a scenario where a woman was beaten to death with sticks by a mob for the crime of burning a holy book. That didn't even happen. Then it looks really bad.

But you've got to think, how is this America's fault first? Right, right. And you did a good job there, Reza. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks, thanks. I feel filthy from having to do that. If I could still squeeze into a human-shaped shower, I would have to clean myself off.

This is not an indictment of all Muslims, right? No. Because all Muslims don't think this way, clearly. Most don't, I think. The problem is that you put too much emphasis on a holy book, and you put too much emphasis on it, and people will start to revere it. And you put too much emphasis on it and people will start to revere it. And if you do anything to it or not do anything to it, it turns out they will kill you for it. That's not a fucking good.

There's nothing good that can come of that. Well, and, you know, from this article, it just says that a prominent cleric asserted that the men had a right to defend their Muslim beliefs at any cost. He was praising these actions. But I actually had also read from a different article I had in Post that another cleric had spoken up and said that they shouldn't even investigate this, that the police had no right to investigate this because this existed. This was a revenge or a retribution for a crime against Islam, and the state had no jurisdiction. And so there are people who actually think that. There are people who actually think we don't even need to find out what's true. It's not even relevant. Truth is such a meaningless concept within this religious framework that when this sort of thing happens, we don't even need to try to find out what happened. It's cool as long as you said for Islam and then you beat a woman to death.

And it doesn't mean that there aren't groups of people in this country that I have sympathy for. I do. And there are kids that were brought into this country by their parents unknowing that they were breaking the law. And they will say to me and others who defend the rule of law, we have to do something about the 11 million. And some of them are valedictorians. Well, my answer to that is, and by the way, their parents brought them in. It wasn't their fault. It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents. For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another hundred out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes

because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. So this story comes from the Raw story. Brian Fisher, Satan tricked Megyn Kelly into calling Bobby Jindal out on immigration. This is pretty funny. So Brian Fisher got all fucking worked up because Fox News host Megyn Kelly, she got into a disagreement with Bobby Jindal and was talking about whether or not people should be allowed to enter the country if they were Islamists. And she actually had some decent points. She said, who decides how far into Sharia law you have to be? Who decides who's a radical Islamist and who's just an Islamist? Those are legitimate questions.

If you're going to create a policy that prevents radical Islamists from entering the country, you have to be able to answer those questions. If you can't answer those questions questions you can't develop a policy um and it's amazing because brian fisher was so offended by that well hold on now the caller called in first and then he had a conversation with the caller and then he was offended by it and said some things but let's listen to what had brian fisher had to say. This is Brian Fisher from the American Family thing. It's his show, whatever Brian Fisher's show is called. The exchange you were sharing with Bobby Jindal and Megyn Kelly is a typical frustration to me,

where people who should be on the same page don't seem to be able to align on things that ought to be understood as self-evident. Are you talking about the fact that Megyn Kelly doesn't line up with Bobby Jindal on that and that ought to be a no-brainer? Right. Yeah. And how many times do you see that scenario? Well, you know, it's pretty alarming when you think about it, Jim, where you've got somebody that's as bright and capable and influential

as Megyn Kelly. You know, she's the second most watched cable news host, only behind Bill O'Reilly, and she's actually given him a run for his money. So she has great influence in the conservative world, and she just simply does

not get it with regard to the danger of islamic immigration and she doesn't seem to get the fact that congress can set the rules for immigration if they want to prohibit people who are fans of sharia law from coming into america they have every right to do it how do they do it though yeah she wasn't even saying she wasn't saying let's not do this i mean what what she was saying was she was posing legitimate questions regarding how if you're going to do it, how would you even do it? Those are legitimate questions. Yeah. They're good questions.

They're the questions that strike at the heart of the insanity because it's really easy to say shit, right? Yeah. It's really easy to say shit like, well, we just shouldn't let any radical Islamists in. Okay, fine. You know,

that's like saying like, well, we should have a law that says, don't be a terrorist. Okay. All right. Well, you fucking,

you nailed that one. Fucking. Yeah. Problem solved. And then we won't have any terrorists where's the law that says you can't have any that's amazing i mean you dig just a little bit deeper just a hair deeper and say okay well if we, if we pass a law, guys, we have to be able to, you know, know some stuff. And all of a sudden that is interpreted as being satanic. Well, no, it's a no brainer first, but it gets satanic a little later.

Well, I've just experienced that myself where people should be able to connect and they don't and it's a phenomena I think that is almost I don't even think almost I think it's a biblical proportions I believe it's a product of the judgments and cursings on the land of our inability to connect on things that have to do with our mutual interest in dealing with practical problems in a commonsensible way. We don't seem to be able to do that. Yeah. Well, and you know what you're talking about, Jim? You know, as we start to talk about that, because I agree with you, you know, the apostle talks in 2 Corinthians 4, about the God of this world who has blinded the minds of the unbelievers. Now, by the God of this world, he's referring, obviously, to the supernatural being

that's referred to in the Bible as Satan, the adversary, a powerful, evil, supernatural being that opposes the work and the power of God. And what Paul says is that being has the capacity supernaturally to fool people. I can't. He's a fool. He has one of those little jester caps on and he juggles. You know? Yeah.

Scary devil. And this is it. scary devil ah and and this is it so hang on because the devil is able to to fucking wedge his way into megan kelly's mind yeah and all he does with his mind control ability is get her to ask a couple of questions to Bobby Jindal on Fox News. Well, he explains. There's like another 25 seconds of a play. He explains it a little bit, but it doesn't make any more sense. So I'm going to give him a chance to finish it out.

Well, supernaturally to deceive people, he can blind the eyes of people to the plain and honest truth. And that's one of the reasons why I think we have got to be people of prayer because that's the only thing that's going to break the power of the God of this age and his ability to blind people is the power of prayer. That is a spiritual problem. People that are blinded to truth that ought to be evident to them. And we look at it and say, why don't they see it? How can they not see it? Well, part of the issue is they are being subject to a blindness and they're not even aware that their eyes have been blind. And that's why we need to

continue to be people of prayer as well as engage our culture in every other way so what he's saying yeah you got it you got it fucking translate he's saying i don't speak fucking retard tom you can't say retard it's people with retardism oh sorry so fucking rude god i'm terrible okay so what this person with retardism is saying is he's saying it's even more weak sauce than you had explained earlier it's not that he's able to manipulate megan kelly into asking a few very simple questions about the practicality of letting people in the country or not letting people in the country based on their former allegiances. What he's saying is that somehow Satan can do the Jedi mind trick on people and make them forget about droids, I think is what he's saying. Right. Or that they're really not – not that they forget about droids, but that they forget that these are the particular ones that they are looking for,

I think is what he's saying. So Satan puts the blinders on us so we can't see. Are there not better people? Like more – if I want to create maximum carnage and destruction, why wouldn't you put the blinders on like the president or like – Well, this is it. I guess they would say he has it. And it really – it's a clever system that they have because if you have a different opinion, they'll just say you're blinded supernaturally and they don't have to argue with you in any substantive way. They could just say, oh, well, you're blinded supernaturally.

You don't you just can't see what is perfectly obvious. And you say, well, no, I'm just asking a few very simple questions about logistics. And they say, oh, well, that's because you're blind. And I got to speak to this issue, too, of like, let's let's not let the the radical islamist in the country i just if i i just wouldn't tell you i was a radical islamist how hard is i guess you got a background check me but but it's a belief at the end of the day at the end of the day islam is a belief and how far you are on that spectrum is a belief you can't see it there's no test it's not like you can do a fucking they can't draw your blood and see oh no you know a hard line is not too many islamist

midichlorians right how would you even do this it's this is seriously as stupid as saying like well we don't let terrorists in it's a it's stupid. It's a dumb fucking law proposed by idiots. Well, how would you do it? I don't know. Don't ask me. I'm so mad about it. How would you do it? I don't know.

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Please, go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures lead a life worth living god this story is from the raw story this is so goofy too students banned from watching solar eclipse due to religious and cultural reasons so in london um some schoolchildren were prevented from observing the solar eclipse. They were allowed to watch it on TV, but they had to come back inside. They were only allowed to watch it from a television because of religious and cultural reasons. Specifically, some Hindu scriptures state that an eclipse makes their believers impure.

And fundamentalists say believers must bathe after the eclipse and chant the name of God to overcome the forces of darkness. Do they have to do it the same time? Like they have to sit in the bath and chant the name of God? That's weird. That's like some Silent Hill shit. That's all I'm saying. Right? Just rocking back and forth.

I love the idea that here we are in 2015, and we know exactly what an eclipse is, and we know why they happen, and we can predict way ahead of time when they're going to happen with exactitude, with amazing precision and yet still there are children who are like no no don't go outside and see the the sun is going to be eaten by the great spirit of darkness or whatever fucking gobbledygook nonsense

we know exactly what's happening the light that emanates from the motherfucking sun 93 million miles from the earth is briefly interrupted by the intersection of another fucking planetary body. That is the thing that is happening. And instead it's like, oh, now you're impure. Impure? What the fuck are you talking about? Impure? It doesn't even make any sense it makes so little sense that the parents who were outraged said what is this america it says we'll be like mid-america

they were specifically referring to like right here like down the street is what they were referring to. They were talking about my actual house. And the parents were like, hey, man, we spent all this time. Not America. The United States. Sorry. The United States, right. Yeah, we got corrected. Yeah, we're using a common shorthand.

I'm good. Yeah. Yeah, we're using a common shorthand, I'm good. Yeah, you know the reason why we refer to this as America? Because we're the only important part of it. That's why. If somebody from Peru was like, yeah, I'm American. People would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you fucking talking about? Get the fuck back to Peru.

You fucking goddamn, what are you, an Islamist? Check him. Maybe he's smuggling in a Machu Picchu. Check his pockets for Machu Picchu. Look for one of those pinhole cameras. Is he going to take a picture of the solar eclipse? God damn it, you'll make us all impure. We'll have to bathe and chant God or whatever.

Gobbledygook nonsense. That's amazing. Could you imagine if your kid came home from school and said some fucking crazy shit? That would be like the teacher canceling class because a black cat walked through it. I know. That's exactly, that's exactly it. It'd be like, how was school today? We didn't have science because they broke a mirror.

Wait, fucking what? We didn't want to do bad luck science. Duh, dad. God, get with it, dad. Jeez. All right, if you excuse me,'ve got to go take a shower. Yeah, chant God. That's ridiculous.

You don't know nothing. You know nothing, know it all. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. The story is just so mean. It's from news.com.au. St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco installs a watering system to deter the homeless. So evidently St. Mary's Cathedral had an issue with homeless people sleeping in the alcove. And they figured they would solve that problem by installing a watering system that just sprays water in the alcove for about a minute every

half hour or so. So that if you did happen to be a homeless person taking shelter within the alcove of the church, you would now be a wet and cold homeless person with no shelter. You're tired, you're cold, you're hungry, you're tired you're cold you're hungry you're wet and you know it's funny because it says the sprinkler system was installed after other ideas were tried and failed the idea was not to remove those persons but to encourage them to relocate to other areas of the cathedral which are protected and safer so so hang on a minute so there's other areas and that's nice there's other areas that are more protected and safer and i like that they're kind of looking out

but did you have to soak down the homeless people this strikes me as a failure of imagination and the other part did it have like one of those big car wash dryers yeah for these fucking so they're like beard is flapping in the wind you know we got to take care of these people somehow these are fucking homeless people we got to figure out a way to take care of them not fucking spray them down with the hose when they come near you like a fucking disobedient dog he gets sprayed down with a hose on a cold day yeah it's every day in fucking san francisco is cold that could go from being mildly inconvenient to seriously life-threatening you get hypothermia pretty fucking quick when you get hosed down it's

like they're like oh i got hosed down let me go home and change they're homeless they were sleeping in an alcove like this is it this was they weren't it wasn't just that this seemed like like the hipster place to lay your head you know gotta and then you know some somebody on our uh facebook page posted something like well some businesses put spikes out i'm'm just like, well, that's even worse. Like, you didn't fix the problem. It'd be like saying like, well, and some people shoot them with flamethrowers. Like, well, they're fucking people. Yeah.

San Francisco weather averages. I'm looking at them right now. The highest temperature of the year is in September. That's the highest average temp, and it's 70 degrees. Every other time of the year, the lowest, it's 57. Every other one is in the 60s. So two months out of the year, it's in the 50s. One month, it's in the 70s, and that's actually 70 at average.

And then it's 60s the rest of the year. That's not comfortable to be wet and in the 60 degree temperature range. And then there's always the photos that you see everywhere with the flies landing on his face. You know, I can show you in the codes where he's got a strong connection to the Lord of the Flies, Beelzebub. Well, I call him Beelzebub because he had those flies stuck to his lip. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Rick Wiles warns he had his fly stuck to his lip. Sister, it comes from right wing watch. Rick Wiles warns Christians they have a year to get out before Obama destroys America. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

At least they have a year. Yeah. Let's see. Let's hear what Rick Wiles has to say. This is from his show. I don't even know. Kooky America or whatever he calls it n times radio i think is what it's called or something anyway there it is um this is rick wiles i prophetically told the

syrian christians over this radio program in 2011 to flee the country yeah all those syrian christians who listen to you man the fucking one of them. Jeez. I repeatedly warned them via this radio program to get out of the country because Obama would destroy it. And eventually Damascus would be leveled to the ground according to Bible prophecy. And if you would listen to those 2011 programs, you would hear me say that I was certain the Holy Spirit was speaking to the Christians in Syria to flee while they could still do it. I'm going to say this to American Christians. Your time to flee America, which is now Babylon, is quickly disappearing. Obama will destroy this nation, too. Where are you going to go?

You don't have any support structure outside of the country? But, you know, what I really think, Cecil, is that people don't know. Like, I think they understand that we get to control who immigrates here. I don't think that they understand that other countries get to decide they don't want Americans. I think they would be very surprised i think a lot of these people would be very surprised to find out that they're entitled american ass can't just swing over to canada and be like knock knock i live here now yeah i i remember there was a friend of ours who who had a real hard time trying to go to france yeah i mean just like they wanted to go to france and they couldn't they just couldn't

because they're just sorry we don don't need you. Right. Like other countries get to decide who lives in their country, too. That's not uniquely American. We like to think it is, though. Damn it. Right. And we got 370 million people here. The majority of them are Christian.

Let's call that, you know 80 percent are are christian here in the country maybe maybe it's a little less what do you think maybe yeah i think it's probably in the 70s probably now maybe 70 percent so you know you're you're talking about 259 million people that all of a sudden have to do what like they're all just going to buy one-way tickets to to where where would they go oh i gotta get out where are you headed i don't know that was my only plan rick weill said to go out the country so i'm gonna take that back because i just did a google search 83 percent of americans identify themselves as christian the rest is it really most of the rest 13 percent of no religion

that just leaves four percent as adherents of other non-christian religions combined jews muslims buddhists and a smattering of other individual mentions wow 83 yeah so 307 million americans identify as christian but they all gotta leave cecil wow just gotta go gotta leave well i mean rick wiles he's just he's just looking out for him here's a little more he is a man of destruction darkness and evil there may be a year remaining in which you can get out and save your family i'm convinced the luciferian illuminatus who control this country what is that it's like a robot is that like a robot? Is that like a Voltron robot? The Luciferian Illuminatus?

We're still doing the Illuminati thing? Is it like 1986 again? The Luciferian Illuminatus sounds like a steampunk robot, actually, now that I think about it. Instead of Voltron, which is like fucking cat robots that turn into a big, giant fucking human-type robot, it's like five stagecoaches that go together. But it's all like gears and shit. It's got a beating human heart. It's awesome. It's awesome. It's powered exclusively by like old-timey, windy watches.

And when it transforms, it looks like the Statue of Liberty. Luciferian Illuminatus. It's fucking awesome. What a jagoff. We'll dismantle it over the next two years, and the Phoenix will ascend to replace the old Constitutional Republic. What? The Phoenix? Fucking. The fuck?

Nobody even lives in Phoenix. What, are you kidding me? The fucking shithole in the middle of the desert. Fucking dry heat my ass. It's like a fucking 120 degrees. Not dry heat. Who are you fucking kidding with that? Do you think this guy believes this garbage?

Oh, Tom, I absolutely do. Let me play this next clip for you. You've got to hear this next thing. My staff has been working on and off for quite some time between projects to digitize and categorize the thousands of radio programs I've recorded since the

1990s. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. He has a staff? He has a staff? There are people that wake up in the morning and are like, I got to go work for Rick Wiles. Oh, man. I question all of my life decisions.

I would rather work in human sex trafficking. I'd rather be in the fucking untouchable cast in india yeah i would rather actually sift through human garbage in ecuador yeah and then be fucking working for rick wiles you have to wonder like you know everybody starts off like all people start off like as these like little squeezy babies full of potential. And then some of them grow up to be staffers for Rick Wiles. Oh, my gosh. And there is a life path along that chain that at some point you have to just stop and say,

my God, you've made so many bad decisions that have led you here. Because that's not just one bad call. That's not a bad Craigslist ad that you here. Because that's not just one bad call. That's not a bad Craigslist ad that you answered. That's not like meth not even once. Like, that's even worse than that. One thing they often say to me is, Rick, when we listen to your old programs, it sounds like you today. Your message hasn't changed.

And that's true. I would say, however, there is one change i no longer think the american people will repent and turn to god before a horrific calamity strikes the nation in fact i now believe they are taunting god daring him to do something in 2010 the holy spirit told me that a black ubiquitous membrane would descend over America and suffocate the people. What is he saying? Well, no, I mean, this is a Cthulhu reference. Black ubiquitous membrane, also known as Barack Obama. Freedom would be taken away. The Tuesday night of November 6, 2012 was creepy. When it was announced on television that Barack Obama had been re-elected,

I saw in my spirit a wicked, evil, dark vapor spreading across America. Shut the fuck up, you idiot. What is he even saying? What is he saying right now? This is a man with an audience? Who is listening to this guy? You can literally say anything. Dude, your wife farted.

That's all that happened. She's not going to admit it to you, but she did. Right. She's trying to blame it on the dog or Barack Obama. I know people think it's like an urban legend, but women really can pass gas. That's a real thing. It actually happens. I got on my knees and I asked God how and why obama was re-elected

why god why why why why how did this happen and god came down and he explained to me the electoral college he also explained that min Romney had no fucking chance in hell. And his reply came immediately. The tares now outnumber the wheat. It's just that simple. It's math. Oh, good. It's just that simple.

Yeah. Glad. Oh, good. So God came down. I asked God a simple and direct question, and god came down with a meaningless cryptic answer and i thought what the fuck just once god just fucking once couldn't you answer the goddamn question scales have tipped in favor of wickedness america now has more people who reject god and his ways and his commandments than love him and obey him wait wait hold on. Didn't we just say there was like 84% Christians in America?

That's most. That's most. The thing is that most of them are blinded Christians, like Megyn Kelly. And so Satan has put blinders on them. Yeah. And so then that's why they are evil. And so they're not going to be the ones who get on the fucking Haitian life rafts. Yeah.

And fucking ditch America. Like fucking pole push themselves to another place like fucking gondolas in fucking Venice. Right. Where are we going to go? Awesome. Yeah. It's awesome, too, because like where would Americans go? Yeah.

Everywhere they go, they'd be like, wait, fucking you have universal health care? Shit! I'm going back to America! I don't want to pay for that! I gotta say, though, the whole black ubiquitous membrane thing just strikes me of like, schizophrenia or something.

Like, that's like a weird... When he's like, I got on my knees and I saw this fucking blackness come across the United States. And that's like a weird when he's like i got on my knees and i saw this fucking blackness come across the united states and he's like talking about like an actual thing that's some scary like that's some scary shit that a person who has an audience thinks that and other people don't think that that's like committable. Well, and I'm asking this honestly. How much of this is your – I've never prayed and thought I got an answer. Have you ever prayed and thought you got an answer? No, never.

Not while I was a believer, no. I would really love to hear from a listener who prayed and thought they got an answer. And I'm not talking like I prayed and later something coincidentally occurred. But I'm talking like an answer answer. Like a vision or like a words or something. Because I actually, I don't really understand. I really don't. I don't understand how that works.

If we get enough of those, I'll make a whole segment out of it. So leave a message for us. You can call us up at 74074 doubt and you can leave a message and and you can leave a message for us and we'll make a whole segment out of it. If there's a bunch of people who leave them, if just one person leaves and we might just put it in the front of the show. But if a bunch of people leave messages and say that they actually had some sort of like they prayed and there was an actual thing that happened i'd be interested to hear about that too tom yeah because i don't i don't really i guess i don't understand is it an actual voice you think you hear are you just how much of it is just your imagination running wild and then you decide to ascribe that to to i don't i don't i don't even

understand the mechanics of it i guess is what i'm saying so i'd be very interested in hearing about it because when when you say that i just sort of don't believe him i just think he's lying to make up a cool story and then eventually i think you know people are really good at believing their own bullshit and part of me thinks that you just make it up and then you just decide to believe it okay all right that's less alarming maybe i'm wrong no that's less alarming though oh it's terribly alarming no i mean it's well it's it's more alarm my version's a lot more alarming than your version your version makes sense your version i think makes more sense than my version it's one or the other though because either he thinks he saw it because it

didn't fucking happen because nobody else fucking reported a black fucking ubiquitous membrane nobody reported that except for this guy so so either and another dude's black ubiquitous membrane has descended upon the earth so either this dude experienced it in some way or he didn't experience and he's making it up to try to make a point. Neither one of those is good. Yeah, both of them suck. But one of them, he's being purposely, purposely obfuscating the truth. And the other one, he's just delusional. You want answers?

I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So this story is from Right Wing Watch. Pat Robertson, I wish Reagan would rise from the dead and come back. Because I can't relate to anyone anymore. I need another zombie on the earth to talk to.

I wish Reagan would come back. All my other dead friends are boring to talk to. Here we go. This is Pat Robertson. We're not going to play the whole clip. We're going to play part of it. I wish Reagan would rise from the dead and come back. He was a great president.

Just right there. I'm going to keep that clip. I got to keep that clip. Just right there is great. I'm going to keep that clip. I got to keep that clip just right there is great. You know, I was looking up. I just curious today why Reagan was such a great president.

What was the big deal? What was the why is it that Reagan was a good president? And a couple of things that he did that I think were were kind of shitty. One of them is the war on drugs. He was the one who started that. And look at where we're at now with the war on drugs the failed war on drugs how many years later 82 to that's 36 years 34 years 34 years since then 35 yeah but it's been an incredibly popular war on drugs up until relatively recently yeah it's been it's been an incredibly popular war on drugs up until relatively recently. It's been so popular that people have been willing to give up tremendous civil liberties in service of the war on drugs.

I mean we've given up – because there's been all kinds of – like now there's property forfeiture and seizure is a huge civil liberties, I think civil liberties violation that's come about as a direct result of the war on drugs. There's surveillance that's come about. There's all kinds of laws that have passed that only apply when something is a drug crime. The war on drugs was incredibly popular. And I'm hoping that we're seeing that tide begin to reverse. But yeah, man, you can lay that one right at the fucking feet of Reagan. Yeah, 82, man. It's right when he was in office. The biggest thing is Reagan just believed in America.

It was real simple. He believed in America. He believed in foundational values. And he wasn't ashamed to enunciate them. The current president does not believe in America. He does not believe in the fundamental values. He's raised in a different environment entirely, and his mentors have been leftists who don't really love this country. And that's where he grew up. You listen to that pastor he had out there uh for so many years sunday after sunday

after sunday ranting against america well reagan didn't do that no but at the same fucking when it's convenient we remember that he went to a black church right yeah well it's convenient he's can he's conveniently went to that church church when it's convenient for him to have any kind of Christian values. Right. When we can. But but but the other half of the time, he's a fucking Muslim, according to these same people or according to other people, he's a Muslim or he is a Christian who, you know, but he's a scary Christian because he went to scary black college or whatever, you know, like, yeah, you know, they just they just they just ascribe whatever they want to ascribe to him. They just decide like, yeah, Obama's kind of like I was I was thinking about this a little earlier today that what Obama has become for the right is the, um, the, the blank slate of evil because he's, they just, they just write him in to whatever story they want to tell. And he's every character and he, he has every quality and

he has every, so he's the blank slate.'s tabula rosa for for the right wing to decide that he is he's kind of the um progenitor um of of all things left and the progenitor of all things evil and from him all this begins and it's nonsense it's it was nonsense when they first started this it's and it's it's it's nonsense and it's sour grapes um and it will be nonsense and sour grapes for all of history the the the hatred that is for obama there's plenty of reasons that you could talk about obama as somebody who's not a good president like yeah yeah let's have a conversation you know talk about the abuses of power talk about the nsa talk about his willing unwillingness to back down uh on several fronts when it comes to security issues we'll talk about his uh his

shitty immigration policies and his deportations that happened throughout his whole presidency uh there's plenty of reasons that you guys fucking his sort of the lack of teeth that was in Obamacare that it was kind of a wish wash between two different things and it didn't really work out as well as it could have there's lots of things we can talk about

but people want to fall into a cult of personality and I find this on the left and on the right either they fucking they just love him just because they want to love him right they just oh god Obama's just fucking great god they just want to fucking gobble

his knob or they want to just hate everything he does no matter what and I just don't understand just look at what the guy does tell me what he does and tell me what you don't like that he does and I'll fucking agree or disagree based on what he who gives a fuck who he is just a dude who's gonna be fucking irrelevant in three years i think too there's this inclination that we like somebody full stop or yeah we don't

like somebody full stop and we can't say you know uh was Obama a good president? Well, you know, that's kind of a stupid question to ask, honestly. You know, most presidents are not good or bad presidents. They are presidents. They have to make a lot of decisions, decisions that I don't envy them for making, to be perfectly frank. And, you know, sometimes they make really good decisions. Sometimes they make really bad decisions. And that's it. I think it's pretty

fucking complicated. There are some presidents that I think you can say on balance, given hindsight particularly, but on balance, they probably made more bad decisions than they made good decisions, and that's how history will judge. But when you're in the midst and when you're kind of in the thick of things, I think you got to go decision by by decision you can't do this like blanket good blanket bad that's just such an overly simplistic way to look at fucking policy well and then and then to get blamed many times for things that that you're not that just aren't even true what What did he just say here? He's like, Obama is not, he's saying that the current president doesn't believe in America. What does that even mean? It doesn't mean anything.

What the fuck? He's the fucking goddamn president of the country. What do you mean he doesn't believe in America? Yeah, I mean, you know, that's offensive, right? Because he's an American success story. If ever, you know, he is exactly the kind of story that if that if that if he were a white kid would be the symbolic American dream. Right. Like, you know, came from, you know, single parent was raised without any money or privilege, made his way through, you know, and kind of up graduated from eventually graduated from Harvard, had all these accomplishments you know young senator all these things you follow the track of his career um and it would be such a it's such a great american story because it's the bootstrap story sure he's the mythical bootstrap guy and they can't even get behind that somehow he's un-american they don't even describe what it means

un-american he's un-american why i'm un-american okay thanks awesome yeah and and and to and to raise reagan up to say oh well he's the one who's he's the one who's american we have to go back that far to like fucking have an american president All the rest of them weren't. You guys had fucking Bush for eight years. He wasn't American. Right. He wasn't a real American, rootin' tootin', six-shootin' American.

So that's going to wrap it up for this short show this week. We're going to be back again on Monday, and we're going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized,

Pseudo-Quasi-Alternative-Acupunctuating-Pressurized-Stereogram-Pyramidal-Free-Energy-Healing-Water-Downward-Spiral-Brain-Dead-Pan-Sales-Pitch-Late-Night-Info-Docutainment. crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this.