Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 217: God of the Gaps

Episode Date: March 30, 2015

 

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Cecil and Tomas. Glory Hole. I was listening to this story about Katy Perry, and I'm embarrassed that I'm so many episodes behind, and was thinking that I don't think anyone has ever come back and said, I prayed to God and God told me, you

know what? You're going to fuck up really bad. Hey guys, wanted to keep up the trend. I think it'll be five weeks in a row now. Folks have called in from Arkansas and want to let you know that you have several listeners in Arkansas and you are a breath of fresh air. I look forward to it every week. Keep doing what you do. Thanks guys. Hey guys, it's a huge interval from Holy Crap Podcast. Listen to it. It's Keep doing what you do. Thanks, guys. Hey, guys. It's Eugene Tripple from Holy Crap Podcast. Listen to it. It's so 2-3-G that you're talking about the footsteps fall.

You talk about, oh, because she's being swallowed. No, no, no, no. I think you're not really looking at it quite right. I think it's a matter that there's only one set of footprints in the Muslim version because she's standing on his feet. Kind of like when, you know, you have the wedding and little kids are dancing on the feet of the parents. I think it's probably more like that. Although the swaddling thing is actually probably a better idea so they don't explode. Kind of, you know, Muslim version of duct tape.

Well, there you go, guys. Have fun. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at this is episode 217

of cognitive dissonance this is our ramp up to hickory north carolina i cecil i am actually pretty excited we're only like what three four weeks away i don't think it's like almost i mean it's like almost a mean it's like almost a month at this point yeah but i'm feeling it i am feeling it just today i went out and i bought a jug and i started blowing on that jug you know just to get just to get ready now what kind what kind of sound were you getting out of your jug awesome yeah man i was scraping i was scraping my knuckles across my washboard ab yeah it's a huge washboard it's like an enormous it's more of like a wash tub yeah it's more yeah my wash tub ab yeah i i'm making a trip this week to Guitar Center to get my juice harp.

So when we go down there, we can make that boinging sound everywhere I go. Either that or I was going to maybe see if I could find an organ that makes pig sounds like Green Acres. I don't know if that's possible, but I'd love to get one of those. Well, I didn't know how to prepare, and I'm still a little concerned. But like you mentioned, we're four weeks out. And I thought, well, that's about enough time for my dad to remarry somebody with a daughter so I could at least sleep with my sister. I don't have one naturally. Jesus. So I'm going to have to get family involved here.

And I was just going to punch a black guy. That's all I was gonna do oh no oh shit oh you you understand we are they're not even going to let us off yeah we're not we're not like we're going down there but we're never coming back no i i've told my i've told my my son and and my my wife that like this is it. You're going to have to put fucking photos around so the baby knows what I look like. That's it. And don't come, don't think you're going to come down there. Don't think you're going

to come find me. Two words, closed casket. Yeah. They're saying that the Ten Commandments have been taken out of the courtrooms and out of the schoolhouses, lest we offend the atheists. Let me be very clear. This country was not built for atheists nor by atheists. It was built by

Christian people who believed in the word of God. To the atheist watching this telecast, Just watching this telecast, if our belief in God offends you, move. There are planes leaving every hour on the hour, going every place on planet Earth. Get on one. We don't want you, and we won't miss you all right well our first story comes from uh talking points memo.com um this is fucking crazy i saw this all the everywhere this week uh duck dynasty star imagines vivid rape and murder scenario for atheist family what the fuck is going on in this man's mind, Cecil? Well, I don't know.

You want to listen to his crazy rant? Oh, out loud? Yeah, we're going to have to. Oh, we're one of those talkie shows. Maybe if you just buy enough health care insurance, that'll keep you out of the ground. I don't think so. Save your money. You got a six foot hole waiting on you if you have all the health care you can buy you say is it going to keep me out of the ground no sir what

i it's just this it's this random thing that they had to get at the beginning of it but look you couldn't sound any dumber than this i know i know and not only not only do you sound stupid but you also sound factually inaccurate like access to health care does keep people alive you know that's a thing right that's not a made-up thing that's not like and everybody laughs and claps like health insurance won't keep you alive okay no not indefinitely yeah i mean not it's not fucking the magic elixir. It's not the fucking fountain of youth at El Dorado, admittedly. But maybe you make it to 60 instead of 44. All that medical care.

That's for suckers. It's a problem. And you know something? You can't solve it. Just like you can't see in your sin problem. Oh, I mean, I don't know this conscience thing. I mean, we just dreamed it up. There's no right.

There's no wrong. There's no good. There's no evil. I'll make a bet with you. One 1,000, two 1,000, three 1,000. Two guys break into an atheist home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. Why are people laughing?

Well, it's hilarious. Why is that funny? Home invasions. Home invasion funny. Why is that? It sounds creepy, too too when he says it when he says two little atheist daughters like that sounds that sounds scary when he says two guys break into his home and tie him up in a chair and gag him and then they take his two daughters in front of him

and rape both of them and then shoot them. And they take his wife and decapitate her head off. I was hoping you were going to stop. They decapitated her head right off. They decapitate her head off. Now, you could probably decapitate her arm off if you wanted to. But I think you go for the head when you go for the decapitating. They beheaded her head off.

That's what they done did? Did you done see that? Someone scooped the dead head out. This guy's such a, he's a fucking, he's a caricature of himself. He's bad, man. He's bad. He's so fucking stupid, his beard is ashamed. You know what it is?

His beard's like, we got to get out of here. Is there like a homeless person in San Francisco I can go on? All right, hold on. There's more. In front of him. And then they can look at him and say, isn't it great to not have to worry about being judged? Isn't it great that there's nothing wrong with this? Wait, what do you mean not being

judged if they get caught they're going to be judged yeah fucking i'll clearly judge that like some fucking depraved awful human beings commit acts of wanton cruelty and violence who would not stand in judgment of that yeah i don't i stand clearly in judgment of that so fucking premise destroyed so do all fucking rational people and they will literally be judged if they happen to go see a judge if they get caught so wait a minute are you suggesting that judges judge people i know you're too judgmental might be a little hardy to follow but there's more there's no right or wrong now is it dude and then you take a sharp knife and take his manhood and hold it in front of him and say,

wouldn't it be something if this was something wrong with this? But you're the one that says there's no God, there's no right, there's no wrong. So we're just having fun. We're sick in the head. I love the stunned silence. He's kidding. Like, I'm not hearing any laughing or clapping no all of a sudden the audience is like i would like to distance myself from beardy mcshootie

duck i wonder if he's thinking man this went a lot better when i was masturbating to this last night when i was when i was choking myself and masturbating to this this was a lot better in my head. How did the bearded man read my mind? Have a nice day. If it happened to them, they probably would say something about this. It just ain't right. What a dumb thing. I mean, you would have fucking made more sense if you blew a duck call for two minutes. Seriously, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It is spectacularly stupid.

And I mean, obviously, the whole thing is the straw man, you know, that he's imagining a scenario in order to argue against it, but fine. He doesn't even understand. What he doesn't understand, he's making that argument that only right and wrong come from God, right? That's his argument. But for some reason, he's misappropriating where to place who makes the judgment of right and wrong action and saying that the victim of the violence would in this scenario be unable to even understand that he had been wronged that's a new one to me i've never heard that one yeah usually it's the it's the aggressor who in these made-up bullshit scenarios is unable to distinguish right from

wrong because there's no like the you know what i mean like usually it's the it's the aggressor that's the atheist yeah i know what you mean yeah the aggressor is the one who who's saying well there is no right or wrong if there's no god to judge me who cares what i do on this earth right that's their argument is that i can do basically whatever i want because there is no flames of hell to be punished in right but that neglects the fact that there is already a law and legal system that will already punish you for things that you do on this planet well and and even beyond that like so moving moving out of the like the law and order component of morality you know just just progressing in the various stages of morality

according to psychological theory there's you know law and order is pretty low on the totem pole in terms of deciding how you know what's right and wrong. You know, there is a tacit understanding also that there's a violation of the social contract here. And then beyond that, there's additional considerations that, you know, we understand and empathize with other human beings as human beings ourselves, and we extend it to other people the courtesies and the empathies that we would like to have extended to ourselves. This is not a difficult concept. This whole thing, this whole theory, it's just an excuse for him to fantasize about extreme violence in front of a crowd.

And I have to think that the organizers at some point were looking at each other like, why do we have this man at a podium? I think at the very least, I think the arguments that I have heard, which are more nuanced than anything that Phil Robertson would be able to put together. than anything that Phil Robertson would be able to put together. The arguments that I've heard is that we understand, we have an innate understanding of right and wrong, and that innate understanding of right and wrong comes to us implanted sort of in our immortal self, implanted somehow into this imagined fiction called a soul. And that can only come from God. And so the you know,

the reason that we don't commit these acts of heinous violence is because, you know, we understand innately that this sense of right and wrong. But, you know, it doesn't it doesn't that have isn't that like a really depressing and bleak and I think untrue characterization of the human animal. I don't have anything driving me toward violence. I'm not restraining myself from committing violence. Are you? No, I'm never.

I don't. I'm not restraining. I'm not like constantly gritting my teeth, you know, in acting this, you know, incredible force of will in order to not rape and pillage and fight and kill and murder. I'm not... I don't think that the human animal is necessarily violent or non-violent.

I think we're contextual. As an average person, you probably have hundreds of chances each day to kill someone. I mean, kill them without even them knowing. Sure, I own a car. You walk into the fucking kitchen at work and their back is turned to you at the fucking coffee maker because they don't think you're going to kill them. Right.

I don't go to the coffee maker. Think I'm going to be attacked by ninjas. I go to the coffee maker to get coffee. So I turn my back routinely on people. There's fucking knives right next to them. They could just reach in and grab a knife and kill me. Why isn't that happen? Because people happened because because people aren't crazy because people aren't psychopaths because your fucking crazy made-up bullshit scenario is just that it's

crazy made-up bullshit to scare the people in the audience to hate people that don't believe in your god we lord we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus. Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. So this story comes from the friendly atheist, although I think the title is mistaken. It says, new mother chooses death over life-saving blood transfusion. Fellow Jehovah's Witnesses praise her faith. And I would take issue that she's not really a new mother anymore. No, no. That would be, you know, it's much sadder than that.

So this woman gave birth and then fucking immediately died pretty much. She lost a ton of blood in the process of giving birth. And so rather than actually mothering her child, she chose this bizarre fiction called Jehovah's Witness. this bizarre fiction called Jehovah's Witness and she refused blood transfusions and now her kid's fucking without a parent. Yeah, I mean, it's just sad. It's just a sad story that a person died because they didn't want to take blood. And this is not the first time that this happens. This is an adult who decided to do it, but they just left a newborn. So, you know, there's definitely tragedy here. If it's just an adult, I guess, you know, there's definitely tragedy here. If it's just an adult, I guess, you know, there's some people who say, and I know that there were some people arguing

this on our page that they were saying, well, it's just natural selection or this person's an idiot and they should die because they're an idiot. And I think it's a little more nuanced than that. I think that's one of the things that you've got to think about is that these people don't just wake up and decide they're Jehovah's Witnesses. They're indoctrinated into this religion. I mean, rarely I think people wake up and decide. I think it's pretty rare that there's these converters, the converters convert you or that you feel like you need to just wake up and be a Jehovah's Witness one day. These people are indoctrinated into this religion and they don't make decisions in a vacuum either. That's the other thing. We look to who we please in our life. You know, they may have had pressures outside of themselves

to not take this blood. You don't want to disappoint mom. The blame lies securely on the faith, right? The blame, the blame to me, because I do think that the tragedy of her death is compounded by the circumstances. The circumstances being that, did just – I mean she died unnecessarily of blood loss giving birth to another human being who now lost their caretaker. And that's a fucking unbelievable tragedy. And then to compound that is that her death is celebrated. Yes. procedures in their yearbooks that they then distribute to other loyal Jehovah's Witnesses and they make of these people martyrs. Yeah.

There's not a reason nowadays why that should happen. It's crazy superstition. It's this backward worldview that killed someone, just killed someone, took a parent away from their child. That child is now, like you say, going to grow up and that's it. And if you read this thing, there's a clip here. It's not a, it's an Instagram post. So there's these comments and this JW or Jehovah's Witness inspirational is just like,

this is our beautiful sister named Michelle. She is holding her beautiful baby, Emma Marie. This is a picture, an obvious new mommy. And then she goes on, it goes on and on. It says, Michelle lost a lot of blood, so much that she needed a blood transfusion. Michelle refused. Even after having a tube inserted in her and not being able to speak, she signed, No blood.

Our dear sister, despite finally having the baby she wanted for such a long time, remained loyal to the end. Yeah, that's so depressing if if you're god if your idea of a god is that you need to remain loyal to have a child and then bleed to death what are you worshiping what kind of weird fucking medieval blood god are you worshiping i know you might as well worship the thing on fucking blade. The fucking big blood god thing that's all gooey and shit. That's what you should be worshiping. We believe we're moving into a supernatural season where, if needed, God

will multiply food. I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking. I mean, when my kids were little, they were always bringing their friends into the house. And I remember, you know, spooning out spaghetti or whatever, just praying in the spirit over that. And God just made more and more and more. You know, I've seen oil multiply as I was praying for the sick.

I've seen bottles of oil just fill up about a cup at a time of oil. Fucking what's wrong with Mike Huckabee? I don't know, man. What is wrong with this guy? That guy's fucking something else, isn't he? This is cuckoo, dude. This one comes from Politics USA or Politic Us USA. I don't know.

It's a fucking stupid website. Mike Huckabee says he has magic powers and will use them to kill you. It's pretty great, man. Yeah, let's listen to it. So Mike Huckabee, this is kind of long, but Mike Huckabee did say that he would call down the fire. So let's listen to Mike. Because I'm standing on Mount Carmel in Israel, and behind me is the Jezreel Valley. You might even be able to see Ramat David Air Base that the Israelis have as their northernmost air base behind me.

And most of you probably have seen these pictures and know that from where I stand on Mount Carmel, directly behind me is the Jezreel Valley. Some people call it the Valley of Armageddon. It's been the site of many of the great battles in the world. Really? The great, great battles? The greatest battles. Yeah. Oh, there was the Battle of Caramello.

Ah, yeah. That was a particularly delicious battle. Yeah, that was a good battle. The Battle of Werther's was there, I think. It was good. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. What they don't tell you is that seismic testing has revealed that there's actually a seismic layer of nougat under them. Oh, it's delicious.

You know, I heard that one of those battles they used affy tapples to fight each other. I don't know if that's true, but they use them like morning stars. They have all that peanuts on them, and it kind of hurts when you get hit with one of those. It's a little painful. Fling those things out at tremendous speed. They're much more dangerous than people realize. If you bite into one of those, you fucking shred the roof of your mouth. Like, you're just fucking shredding the roof of your mouth.

That's all it is. But the thing is, like, I remember as a kid, I'd be like, my fucking, your whole fucking head is basically falling off. You may as well just be like, I'm eating fucking broken glass and safety pins. You're like, mm, this Dremel tastes delicious. Right? Right? You're like, oh, this Dremel tastes delicious. Right? Right? You're like, oh, I fucking stick my face in a running lathe.

Yeah. That's the same. That's fucking exactly. And you're like, but it's so sugary. Those things are awesome. Are you kidding me? It's terrific. I would eat one right now.

Are you kidding me? Yeah. I said when I was a kid. Yeah. But I guess what I mean is when I was 37. And the site of the ultimate battle of all humankind. But it was Mount Carmel that an amazing thing happened. Elijah the prophet, who thought he was the only one God had left, stood on this very place. And it was here that he challenged the prophets of Baal to call upon their God

and see if their God would answer. Well, did he bail them out? Huh? Huh? Huh? And they built an altar. And they tried all day to get an answer from their false gods. And their God never showed up.

Is this thing on? False gods. Is this altar on? I've been sacrificing on it all day. Jeez. I'm running out of virgins to throw in volcanoes here. Hello. Hey, look, I found every fucking lamb I have without blemish, for Christ's sake.

I ain't eat anything leavened in like 23 days. And then Elijah, after building an altar for the Lord, not only built an altar, made the sacrifice and put it all on the altar with the bull. But then he poured water three times on top of the sacrifice, and put it all on the altar with the bull. But then he poured water three times on top of the sacrifice. Oh, shut the fuck up. He put the bull on the thing and made an altar and then poured water on it three times and fucking did the fucking right foot blue and the left fucking arm red. Who cares?

No, no, no. You put your right foot in and then you shake it all about, Dom. What fucking grown adult believes this? I'm sorry. Like, you really think this happened? No. And then afterwards, he said to the priest of Baal, he said, Expelliarmus. Right?

And then he Expelliarmus them. Dude, this is a guy who took an airplane to get there. Yeah. In 2015, he got into a motherfucking airplane and flew there. And he still thinks that shit happened? That like a fucking magic voodoo god or whatever came down and was like, Did he pour water on it three times? I ain't doing shit until he pours it two times.

Not doing anything. Is there a bull on the altar? Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of fucking goddamn joke is this? I want to see the dude who by himself, because he even said he's like, he thought he was alone. He thought he was alone. Who's the guy who can fucking lift a bull up by himself and set it on an altar? Who's that guy?

I'm going to pick up this bull on this altar. Motherfucker, it would be easier to kill the bull and then fucking dig an altar out of the goddamn limestone underneath you. No kidding? Either that or you have to somehow coax the bull onto the altar. Right, and then kill it. And then kill it up there. Where do you even, like, are you just traveling with bulls?

Like, it's like, oh, I just brought this bull with me. Why? I don't, because I'm going to fucking kill it later. Duh. What are you, stupid? I have't, because I'm going to fucking kill it later. Duh. What are you, stupid? I have to call God. God doesn't have a cell phone.

The only way to get in touch with him is to fucking kill bulls. Like, his fucking phone number is like, dead sheep, dead sheep, dead bull, three pails of water. Three pails of water. You put your right foot in and then you shake it all about. It's the most ridiculous phone number. And then you get voicemail. That really pisses you off. Or you get his secretary. It's like, this is Gabriel.

Sorry, God's out right now. Please leave a bull at the message. Fuck, I already left my bull. Just to make sure that there would be no doubt as to how this battle was going to turn out. Then why have the battle? Wait a minute. Why have the battle? Like all these soldiers, you're like, good news, guys.

It won't matter. But I still have to fight it. It kind of matters a lot to me. Elijah called upon God to send the fire down and we know the story from first kings chapter 18 the fire fell and god showed up as forrest gump so brilliantly once said when that moment happened there was no doubt as to whose God was truly the Lord. I tell you that because we're living in a time where a lot of people don't just, they just don't want to be alone and they feel alone. Elijah thought he was all by himself up here.

He even said, I'm the only one God has left. And that wasn't the way it truly was. There were a lot of prophets who had not bowed their knee to Baal. But Elijah thought he was the only one. It wasn't the way it truly was. There were a lot of prophets who had not bowed their knee to Baal. But Elijah thought he was the only one. Sometimes maybe we don't want to stand in the gap because we think we're the last one standing. But the question is, are we willing to stand in the gap even if we are the last man standing? Elijah, believing he was the last one, stood in the gap.

This is quite a gap, the Jezreel Valley. God wants us to stand in the gap. And sometimes my heart's broken because in our own country, a lot of pastors will stand in the pulpit, but they won't stand in the gap. What does that even mean? What do you fucking actually mean? Do you know what he means by that? I think what he's saying is that a lot of people will preach from the Bible

but when it comes to gay rights they're not putting those fags in their place is what he's saying. That's what he's saying. They won't stand in the gap. So they won't... They're fucking preachers. They are standing in your fucking imagined bullshit gap.

Like your gap is the place, if I understand this fucking belabored goddamn metaphor properly. Jesus Christ. In order to get the attention of the God of the gaps, I have to. The God of the gaps, I have to... The god of the gaps! It's the god of the gaps! So in order to get his fucking attention, I have to be willing to stand up and fucking be counted and believe and hold myself accountable to my fucking mythology right that's what he's suggesting like i have to be fucking brave and strong and true and fucking pull the sword from the stone and all this fucking made up my precious bullshit like okay yeah but then he's

saying that like there's preachers that don't do that what the fuck do they show up for work for? What do you talk? I don't understand what you're talking about. To stand in the gap means that you're willing to believe God's word applies to the people who sit before you. And you not only believe that it does, but you present it as if it does. My good friend, George Barna, who is a part of your conference, did an incredible survey recently of American pastors, and he discovered something that broke my heart. When asked, 90% of American pastors said they believe that the Bible applies to all the issues of the day. 90% believe that those principles apply. that those principles apply but then when he followed up and said how many of you present the bible and preach the bible to the issues of the day the number was 10 i mean i

don't i don't i guess that's what he's saying i guess that's that's that's his example of they're not doing what i want them to do yeah i i guess i guess i don't really think that that's true, actually. I just frankly doubt the veracity of your polling, sir. I'm not sure that that's accurate. Yeah, especially considering how many people. I mean, yeah, I can't imagine somebody would say 90% would say it matters and then say, well, I'm kind of not doing it. Yeah, I think it matters a lot to the matters of the day. But I just, if it didn't matter to the matters of the day, then what the fuck are you preaching every Sunday?

Every Sunday, you're a preacher. You've got to stand up there for an hour and bore people before they can fucking leave and get pancakes and watch football. So while you're wasting their fucking time and their lawns are growing, you're, you have to come up with some nonsensical banal mundane bullshit to bore these people with. You have to do this every week. You have to come up with something 52 weeks a year. If you're not creating a sermon that has any kind of tie in with people's everyday lives, then literally I don't understand what you're saying every week.

You have an hour. What are you just reading to them for an hour? Are you a fucking, are you like Mr. Smith goes to Washington? You're just filibustering the Bible. That sounds, I would fucking,

I, I don't know, man, I would refuse blood. That's what I would do. I would just listen to fucking thomas's show yeah at least there's jokes we wonder why our culture has turned godless we wonder why people don't grow up understanding the fundamentals of natural law the moral basis of our judeo-christian founding as a. Might it be that the problem is not the history

classes in our high schools, but the pulpits of America who have not taken what they even believe and applied it to the pulpit and to the people? I stand here on Mount Carmel today, and I hope that if called upon, I would be willing to stand all by myself, but to call fire from heaven and believe that God will answer, even if there are hundreds and hundreds of false prophets on the other side. God plus one is still a majority. That's a fucking stupid thing to say. God plus one. Yeah.

How many times does God get to vote? Dude, God's an army of one? What I want to see is God in Congress and one guy brings forward a bill and says, I want to outlaw the gays and everybody's boo. And then God shows up. It's like, oh, they got a majority. And that would be great, too, if like then the next was like, but it's not a veto-proof majority, bitch! God gets fucking signing statemented. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco,

this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. The modern-day prophets at American Family Association warn SCOTUS that legalizing gay marriage will be a fist in the face of God Almighty. This is so mad. It's better than a fist in the anus of God Almighty, I guess.

That comes next. Yeah, that's the angry makeup sex with God Almighty. You're just like, fucking, I'm fucking forgive you, but I'm still a little salty about it, you know? No lube. No lube tonight. No, stay down. You're not done yet.

I'm not fucking still working this thing out. You keep that ball gagging, God. All right. So there's a clip for this. Let's play it. It's Brian Fisher's show, and this guy's on it. His name's Tim Weidman. No, his name is no.

It's Tim Wildman. Really? We wanted the Supreme Court justices. Yes, they're the most powerful judicial body in the land, but guess what? There's a

most powerful judicial person in the universe. Guess what? Chicken butt. That guy's awesome. There's one in the universe that's more powerful than those guys. Well, yeah, well, my God, can I wrestle your God? He's more powerful than Ginsburg.

What a fucking idiot. Who rules over the Supreme Court of the united states and that's god almighty he sounds like he sounds like a fucking turtle from those old movies like i'll make it to the finish line fucking idiot god i can't respect this guy come on he's the wild man says oh god and god has said that marriage is between one man and one woman that is uh his his design from all throughout the bible yeah where does it say that no no fucking point that shit out where does it fucking say that it says it on god's giant belt buckle right that's where it says it yeah it says that it's fucking even in your fucking

made-up bullshit mythology it doesn't actually say that so and there's tons of instances where it's a man in like 17 chicks yeah so it doesn't say that it doesn't mean that at all but keep going wild man and so if the supreme court of the United States is going to force homosexual, quote, marriage on America, then they are going against God. And I wanted them to, and we wanted them to think about that. Yeah, you just shouldn't get a fucking gay marriage then. Yeah, I mean, what the hell are they going to force it on America? Like, wait, you get a fucking knock on my door with a fucking jackboots and a Gestapo gay marriage then yeah i mean i what the hell are they gonna force it on america like wait

you get a fucking knock on my door with a fucking jack boots and a gestapo outfit and force me to marry a dude right or just force you to even like it yeah i mean they're that's the thing like they're not they're not saying you even have to fucking like it they're just saying that if other people want to do it you're not allowed to stop. That's the only thing that's being said here. You don't have to like it. You can vocally fucking bitch about it. You can be a real big jerk to people. I don't like the gay marriage.

You can do all the fucking petty, hateful shit you want. Nobody's stopping you from being petty and hateful. Bottom line is, Brian we we all agreed here we needed it was time to say what the bible and what god has to say about marriage this is a sober moment for our country if we if the supreme court does this and foist unnatural quote marriage on all of america despite the fact that 31 states have said marriage is between a man and a woman, it will be an incredible constitutional injustice. It'll represent more and more of a power grab by the federal bench.

And it'll be a fist in the face of God Almighty. Fist in the face of God. What does that even mean? I guess what it means, Cecil, is that if you put your fist in the face of god what does that even mean i guess what it means cecil is that if you put your fist in the face of god almighty but you haven't fucking burned a bowl and poured a fucking bucket of soap suds or whatever on it then it still doesn't mean shit right because you can like fucking shake your fist at the sky like the impotent fucking rage filled bald headed dipshit that you are and it will continue to be a meaningless empty gesture unless you performed your fucking

magic hate rituals to call fire on your who knows man you know what i think i kind of you know not only think about it one way that you could call god is you could put a bull in an alcove in the place in San Francisco, and then it would get watered so many times a day. It's like every half hour it would get watered. You'd water your bull constantly. You know, it strikes me, Tim, and I'll let you go. It just strikes me this is the best in the prophetic tradition. I mean, this is what the prophets of old did.

If there was a king that was out of line, the prophet was the one who was called by God. Stand up and say, what you are doing is evil in the eyes of the Lord. And what I hear you saying, Tim, and I'll give you the last word here, is there was a need for somebody to speak with a prophetic voice to our Supreme Court. And Tim, I want to give you the last word. So here we go. I'll sing you out. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Fucking idiot. Well, I love that Brian Fisher pipes in like, oh, man, finally somebody's objecting. Really? Really?

Really? Because you guys haven't exactly been quiet. The thing is, everybody hears you, man. You fucking, you yell and you scream and you piss and you moan y'all you've been you talk about how you know this is going to be just like the nazis and then you make other crazy comparisons and you know god's gonna pull back his fucking protective veil of you know whatever across america if we let gays have fun or what i don't know like you've been fucking saying this shit for years nothing happens nothing happens nobody cares you're a weird fringe group of fucking weirdos

you don't have it's not like fucking tim the wild man has uh you know scotus's ear and they were just like waiting like oh man what's tim the wild man have to say oh fuck he thinks we shouldn't do it he's waving his arms is he mad i think he's mad you mad bro i'm very mad he's tucking his head into his sweater that's his i'm mad signal that's his defense mechanism want to contact the guys go to dissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to Dissonance.Podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828.

Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash dissonance pod, or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock.

This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Rick Scarborough. Gay marriage will unleash the spirit of hell on the nation. It's the spirit of hell, Cecil. It's coming. The spirit of hell? The spirit of hell.

Not hell. Like the cheerleaders of hell. I've got spirit. Yes, I do. I've got spirit. How about you? Go hell. Go hell.

Give me an H. They roll out. Instead of pom poms. It's fucking like atheist heads. And they're just like shaking them in the air, like banging them together. It's like burning tumbleweeds. They roll out. They don't know exactly what to cheer for.

It's like, we're hell. We're not actually all that cheerful. So I go, OK, great. We're kind of very grumpy right it just swing out and everyone's like i should have gone to a different game yeah this is super awkward you can't ever leave Give me a T. Give me an O-R-T-U-R-E. Torture. Yay! Oh, good grief. So Texas pastor Rick Scarborough took to World Net Daily, that bastion of reason and rationality in the world, to expound on his call for anti-gay civil disobedience.

I don't even know what that would look like. If the Supreme Court strikes down bans on on same sex marriage, warning that such a ruling will usher in attacks on Christianity and, quote, a brave new world with tyrannical laws and regulations. It's going to be fucking it's going to be an Aldous Huxley, you know, dystopia, Cecil. Shit's going down, man. Fucking gay people can love each other on paper I don't know what what do you do during an anti-gay civil disobedience rally I can't even imagine what the civil disobedience portion would be because there's there's nothing you could do as an act of civil disobedience the only thing that you could do is be fired from your job right so you could be a court clerk that decided to not process the paperwork yeah you know or you could just be like some administrative you know dirt bag sitting

around shredding paperwork that would you know that needs to get filed or what have you you know like that's the only because for the rest of us even if we vociferously disagree there's not an act of civil disobedience that has any relationship on another person's marriage they they try to draw that comparison to like because they're trying to they're trying to put themselves on the side of the civil rights movement they're trying to say like they're putting themselves at the back of the bus right exactly exactly but you know there were acts of civil disobedience that could be undertaken by a an oppressed minority class because the the the oppression was actual it was real yeah so there were things like that you couldn't do so you

couldn't sit at the front of the bus you couldn't eat in certain lunch counters you couldn't drink from water fountains you couldn't use non-colored restrooms you couldn't so in certain lunch counters. You couldn't drink from water fountains. You couldn't use non-colored restrooms. You couldn't. So there were all these things that you couldn't do. There's literally nothing. Nothing. Like you can go, like if I'm a guy, I could still go marry a woman. Yeah.

I'm going to be like, I'm going to sneak off and marry a chick. Okay. That was okay before. Living on the edge i want to read part of this because this is this is really i think the heart of this and one of those things that i just you just want to grab somebody and just be like you're a fucking asshole it says we'll soon find ourselves in a brave new world with tyrannical laws and regulations forcing us not only to accommodate same-sex marriage but to keep our message of love and forgiveness to ourselves

lest it our message cause someone to be offended and the thing is is you're bringing to the table the condemnation right and you're also bringing the forgiveness. If we excise you from the table, there's nothing that you bring or give us. They're saying, I mean, he's going out of his way to say, we're going to give these people this love and forgiveness. Well, what do they need forgiveness from? They need forgiveness from you.

You know, this is funny, Cecil, because the religious think that everybody is worried about their sins, right? Because the religious are worried about their sins. And so if you think that there is a thing called sin, then you, yes, you have to find some way to excise that. It's just that there isn't really a thing that's called, there is no such thing as sin. It's a silly idea you just made it up uh nobody cares about it but you and so the rest of us are totally unconcerned with forgiveness i've i never i've never thought once in my life like oh man how will i ever find

forgiveness i don't need forgiveness i'm not a bad guy i don't i'm not like a bad dude i don't need forgiveness. I'm not a bad guy. I don't, I'm not like a bad dude. I don't need to be forgiven. If I fuck up, I say, I'm sorry. Yeah. And then we work that shit out and that's it. Like, that's my forgiveness. But like these guys, I honestly think that they don't understand a life without crippling guilt. Do you have guilt, Cecil?

No. No. I don't feel guilty about anything right because because here's the thing tom when i feel guilty about something i fucking resolve it right that's what i do because i'm a fucking adult and i recognize man i feel guilty about something i should resolve it yeah whether that is you know whatever that is in my life i try to make sure i fix it like these people like all walk around with this this guilt because there's no way to resolve it i just think it's i just think it's the height of fucking arrogance to tell someone i don't approve your lifestyle my imaginary fucking deity doesn't approve of your lifestyle and you have to fucking get forgiveness from me right and from my fucking made-up deity fuck you fuck you and fuck your forgiveness in the ear you know there there is nothing normal about being a sodomite there is

no life that will come out of a rectum you cannot produce life life. It's only death. Every time, there's nothing in a rectum except waste, refuse, and death. This story comes from WTHR.com, Indiana's News Leader. You're in Indiana. Is there a big news competition? You're the news leader? You're in Indiana. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, does anybody else want to be the news leader you're in indiana you know what i mean it's like hey does anybody

else want to be the news leader cricket cricket no it's just okay we'll be the fucking news leader yeah yeah great uh kravitz blog religious freedom bill may hurt indy's sports and convention business i've seen this several times think this is great so um indiana recently passed some nonsensical religious freedom bill and it was signed into law. The governor actually – this article doesn't address it, but the governor did sign it into law. And a host of conventions and things that come to Indiana, they're just like, fuck that. Not doing it. Yeah.

Gen Con was one of the ones I saw that might be backing out. And Gen Con is huge in the gaming community. It's just there's tons of people that go to that. Other conventions are thinking about pulling out. might be backing out and Gen Con's huge in the gaming community. It's just, there's tons of people that go to that. Other conventions are thinking about pulling out and there's been some back and forth on this and people are saying that it's not a big deal that this rule sort of models itself after the religious freedom bill, which I think is already a federal thing. But I think that there was some significant differences in the two.

Regardless, I think that there was some significant differences in the two. Regardless, I think that what I want to look at, instead of actually looking at the direct bill, I want to look at the people who are talking about it, right? Who's talking about it? There's two sides. There's a side that says they're going to use it to discriminate against gays, and that's the people who are against it. But then I started looking at the people who are for it,

and a lot of those people were saying, yes, we are going to use it to discriminate against gays right like they are going out of their way to say they're going to discriminate against gays and then the other stuff that they're talking about when the governor made his report one of the things he said was something like well i just we want to make sure that uh that notre dame doesn't have to pay for contraception or something like that so they want to make sure that that uh, that Notre Dame doesn't have to pay for contraception or something like that. So they want to make sure that, that there's two major factions. There's the gay marriage faction.

And then there's the, the reproductive rights faction. And they want to make sure that people who dislike reproductive rights can dislike it and get away with it. And I think, you know, if you're in the contraception business, or if you're in the fucking healthcare business,

or if you're in the, I have to supply healthcare to my people business, you need to shut the fuck up about contraception. You need to fucking be quiet. Let people do what they want to do. This is just like gay marriage. It's the same thing. It's like, man, this is my body. I get to decide if I want to use contraception.

I get to decide if I want an abortion. It's not your fucking body. If you don't like abortions, don't have an abortion. If you don't like contraception, don't use contraception. If you don't like gay marriage, don't get a gay marriage. None of these things are fucking affecting you. Quiet down. Well, you know, what I appreciate is that immediately the backlash is going to be economic because that's the only way to get the attention of these bigots. Right. You know, hit them in the pocketbook. Fine. Listen, tell you what, you want to sign this fucking nonsense into law. You want to, you know, make sure that Indiana is as inhospitable to, you know, outside money coming in.

You know, salesforce.com is headquartered in Indianapolis or Indiana, I believe Indianapolis. And they've already, you you know made some grumblings that hey maybe it's time for us to fucking go there's 1400 employees yeah maybe we'll just fucking peace out of here all right great that i mean you gotta hit you gotta hit these fucking assholes where it hurts because they don't understand anything but fucking money and getting re-elected it's the only thing these fuckers understand. They understand money and they understand driving votes. And if they if you think that this release fucking nonsensical fucking third line religious

issues matter as much to people as their job and their fucking pocketbook, you're out of your fucking mind. You're out of your fucking mind. If I went to work tomorrow and they said, Tom, the only way you keep your job is if you fucking put a fucking ash cross on your head, I'd be like, fucking, I got a family to feed. Give me the ashes.

I don't give a shit. People care about their money more than they care about any of this other fucking made-up bullshit. 90% of them. So hit them where it hurts. You've never looked at the heavens. Everything in the heavens is here moving as the heavens move. That's how I know it's coming. How else can I make the prediction? A thousand years ago, there was a great conjunction.

Three suns lined up. Another great conjunction coming up. Anything could happen. The whole world might burn up. The great conjunction is the end of the world. Or the beginning. This story also comes from Right Wing Watch. This is from WND.

Solar eclipse warning uh solar eclipse is a warning to america about relationship with israel yeah great okay so what it's 2015 we're actually ascribing we're ascribing mysterious causal or consequences to solar eclipses. Like we knew it was coming. We knew it. We knew it was coming hundreds of years ago. We know what all the subsequent solar eclipses are. I know. You can, you know, the thing is, is it says in here, it says,

basically the solar eclipse is a warning to Gentiles that a sign of judgment on the nations. When we look at where the darkness will be, it will be on northern European countries like England and Sweden, where they've seen a rise in Islam and anti-Israeli sentiment. Europeans especially should take heed. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, so we know with certainty, like you said, we can predict to the second all over the globe within thousands of years when solar eclipses happen. So if that's the case, then God programmed the solar eclipses to happen all at the same time. If we can figure it out, God's way more complex than us. He figured that out. So not only did he do that, he also programmed in the world the unrest that's going to occur. Right.

So it's like, well, if he fucking programmed the unrest, then what the fuck does it matter what I do? Yeah, he sets all the wheels in motion so that these events happen all at the same preset times, right? So they all line up exactly perfectly right. And I'm going to fucking circumvent that. I'm just going to be like, oh, yeah. I mean, talk about a fist in the face of God. I'm just going to be like, I changed that. That's like fucking reprogramming God's VCR.

That's just fucking mean. How would I do it? doesn't make any sense but you know this is a this is a person who actually says things i mean this this i'm reading i'm gonna read this tell me if this does not sound fucking insane blitz also points to other upcoming signs that will take place on feast days. There will be another solar eclipse on the Feast of Trumpets on September the 13th. Isn't that like a fucking tarot card? The Feast of Trumpets? The Feast of Trumpets.

What are you talking about? Feast of trumpets. What are you talking about? The final blood moon, a super blood moon, will appear during the Feast of Tabernacles, which is also known as a period of judgment for all the nations. Blitz believes... Tom, they love themselves some tabernacles. I know, dude.

I mean, it's like a fucking tabernacle fucking crazy oh man i've got you know it's actually good to read this because i've got to make sure i buy my wife a gift for the feast of tabernacles i'd hate to i'd hate to show up empty-handed you just got to get her like a cupcake shaped tabernacle that's That's what you got to do. The thing is that I have treated my entire life as a series of feasts, just on the off chance that there might be one that I didn't know about. So there's all these feasts, the Feast of Trumpets, the Feast of Tabernacles, the Feast of Hippopotami, the Feast of fucking, you know. Oh, today is the Feast of, you know, vampires with hangnails. Like, OK, fine.

Who cares? I just treat every day like a feast day and I overeat. Right. That's all I have to do. I walk in. Every time I sit down at the fucking dinner table, I unbutton my pants just on the off chance that it might be a feast day. on the off chance that it might be a feast day you believe what could be the world's most fearsome destructive weapon obama's third term also from right wing watch uh ben carson a uh presidential candidate by the way uh ben carson the people will stop Obama's third term.

So that's something that's being said out loud. Third term. So right there in the Constitution, you can't have a third term. No one's talking about a third term. Can't have one. But evidently, we've got to stop it, Cecil. I love that they think Obama's going to get a fucking third term. Do you know what Obama would have to do to get a third term?

He would have to make an amendment that fucking overrides previous amendment. You'd have to get two thirds of a house. He doesn't control to fucking vote him back. How the fuck is he going to do that obama couldn't get a third term if he was the fucking last man on earth he could wake up like a fucking twilight zone episode and walk around yelling hello hello in a fucking lonely, echoing Times Square amongst stalled cars and fucking silence. And he still couldn't get a third turn. It's not going to fucking happen.

What is wrong with people? It's crazy. Quote, President Obama leaves office on January 20th, 2017. Dot, dot, dot. Or does he? 2017 dot dot dot or does he the internet's a buzz with talk about the myriad of ways obama might seek to extend his white house role sparked in part by radio conjecture from conservative commentator rush limbaugh well then there you go uh it's awesome but ben carson again presidential hopeful uh says don't worry, Obama will leave.

And then when questioned about it, who would stop Obama from remaining in office past the second term? Carson's reply, we the people would oppose it through our Constitution. We don't have to oppose it. The Constitution kind of does that work for us. It does it as an amendment already there. Don't need a fucking anything else. Fucking third term. Third term. How the fuck?

He's going to have to like have a coup against himself. Right? He couldn't get enough polio to get a third term. His polio could have smallpox. Here's the thing, though. He could certainly start enough wars you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth so the story comes from slate arizona wants doctors to tell patients that abortions can be

reversed it's still good it's still good it's just a little aborted it's like somebody with gloves like stuffing it back it's like you hit the you take the vacuum and put it on reverse the woman's like all blown up it's like it's like fucking charlie the chocolate factor doctor like leaves the room while the reverse abortion thing is on and she's like fucking Charlie and the chocolate factory. The doctor leaves the room while the reverse abortion thing is on. And she's like swelling up like fucking Charlie. Yeah, she's filling with babies. There's like fucking 40 or 50 babies in her.

She's just oozing babies on her. She's like that Kate Plus Eight chick. She's just that Kate plus eight chick. She's just like just coated in children. See, I just, I had one and then I got a reverse abortion at eight. A reversed abortion. It wouldn't be a fucking

abortion if it could be. It's It's That's like having a cure for SIDS. I know, it's like having a cure for SIDS I know it's like if I could yeah man I had SIDS when I was a kid that's fucking amazing and you know what what the story is really about is that I guess that there's this uh there's two drugs you take when you get a day after pill and one of them does something and then one of it does another thing and if you don't take the second one then you can i guess avoid evacuating the pregnancy but you're not fucking reversing the abortion

you're just not continuing the medication all the way through. You're just not actually having an abortion. Right. And they're not reversing anything. From the article, you take the one medication, then you take the second medication, then you have an abortion. If you take the one medication and you don't take the second medication, then you probably maybe won't have an abortion. take the second medication then you probably maybe won't have an abortion but these doctors like there are a group of doctors who try to swoop in and play hero by giving you a fucking reversal medication of progesterone that actually doesn't even do anything it is of no effect yeah they said it might even be just no effect right all that in the in in the article they call it medical theater because it's meaningless.

It says that, quote, proponents of abortion reversal would like you to believe it's common for women to take the first dose and become wracked with guilt. Delgado, to help these women, Delgado gives them progesterone shots. The problem is that it's almost certainly quackery. The progesterone shots reverse nothing they are medically unnecessary theater designed to portray anti-choicers as conquering heroes there's no evidence um so the the progesterone shot is just it's fucking it's sugar pills you didn't get an abortion and then somebody gave you a shot. They didn't fucking reverse the abortion. It's like your baby's like,

I'm out of here. Fucking I'm back in here. How does that, what would even work? Your baby spends the night in a halfway house and then comes back. You got to give these tiny. That's how it works. Halfway house.

Halfway out house. The doctor's got this tiny, tiny defibrillator. It's like four cell clumps long clear don't don't you die on me there's like there's like a fucking amoeba doctor with like one of those like mirror things across its fucking amoeba head and it's like doing a fucking a baby like cpr there's like this clump of cells the size of a fucking poppy seed and it's like oh we've got them back doctor we've got them back stick them back in the vagina oh wait oh wait you don't even have a heart

we actually have no idea how this could work there's no blood flow yeah there's yeah like you're you're you're literally just three cells so we want to thank Basha and Matt for sending in their PayPal donations we also want to thank all of our new patrons we appreciate all of our patrons,

of course. Everybody who's been with us, we were looking at it today. Some of these people have been with us since we started this Patreon page. We want to thank all of you people. You're amazing. But we want to thank specifically our most recent patrons. We want to thank Alicia, Joe, Jared, Glenn,

Ryan, Phil, Mars Daddy, Bart, and Dave, thank you all so much for your generous donations. We're super appreciative. The show is a lot. This week I was very busy putting the show together. I had a show I had to put together that was a Thursday show, and I just finished it today, and we're recording again.

Our schedule's pretty thick, and we really appreciate all the people who who give us money it helps us push forward and it helps us uh helps us really know that people appreciate the show that we put out so thank you very much we got a message from david and david says i just listened to your rant on detroit and michigan as a lifelong michigander is that like that can't be a thing that's's not a thing. That's like a goose. That's from Michigan as a lifelong Michigander with the, with Detroit being my hometown,

I must say, I can't find much to disagree with, but I would like to add, at least I'm not from Texas, Alabama, Florida, Louisiana, and Mississippi.

One redeeming feature from being from Michigan is that you can say you are lonely and you don't have to whack off, rub one out or visit Rosie Palm and the five sisters. You can always have a date with Miss Michigan. And he says, I don't have to explain that to I. Michigan is shaped like a mitten. See, still need details. I like that. That's pretty great. Yeah, that's awesome. need details i like that's pretty great yeah that's awesome great yeah uh i've made it a point to try to make fun of one place every show uh if i can uh i want to try to make play make fun of a single place wherever that place is uh because it really upsets people and it makes me laugh we got uh we got somebody on twitter who said told us to go fuck ourselves when we talked about Tennessee.

So I'm excited to make fun of every place that I could think of. I made fun of Phoenix last podcast. We talked extensively about Indiana, and Indiana is a fucking total shithole that smells like an armpit. So I can't wait to make fun of that. So we're going to have fun. Every episode, you will find a new place to make fun of. And I will almost certainly make fun of Chicago in the the future and or illinois because illinois is a shithole illinois has almost nothing going yeah nothing redeeming from illinois either i cannot enjoy i can't imagine looking at

a fucking map of america and choosing illinois yeah and shit picking out of all the things to pick illinois especially middle illinois right like are you kidding me i'd like to be in a suburb 38 miles from the fucking city center i'd rather be covered in semen by strange men are you kidding so uh so i got we got a message from russell this is interesting. He says a longtime fan of the show. I want to let you know that the story you had about some Irish center bitching and moaning about Mother's Day. And you were wondering at somehow there was some other kind of Mother's Day. He just he said just so happens there is. There was a thing called Mothering Sunday that it was a point for people to live too far away from home to return to their mother church to celebrate with their families.

And I had no idea that that was such a thing. Thanks, Russell, for sending that in. I didn't know that either. We got a message, a really interesting message about leavening from Joshua, Tom. Yeah, so the leavening thing is generally more about the time taken than the specific process used to leaven the stuff, at least as far as some hardliners are concerned. The point is to remember the myth of having to run away from Egypt in a great big hurry. That said, you can still drink wine, which uses yeast, so go figure.

Some sects permit chemical leavening and some sects don't. What, you were expecting consistency? That's awesome. I thought that was great. So that's, I mean, that actually makes some sense. I mean, I appreciate that was great. So that's I mean, that actually makes some sense. I mean, I appreciate that. That's yeah. He said we also we also pronounced Hametz properly.

And I was thinking after our Hametz thing that we did, if you were to take I think you could start a company, maybe even rolled gold could do this. You could mold them into a little curly Q and have Hametzels. Oh, nice. So it's just like a Hametzel roll. It's a Ham roll we got a message uh from lavosia la visa lo visa i'm gonna call her lo visa sure i don't know sure how the fuck do you pronounce that i wouldn't how would i pronounce it i just wouldn't tom here's the thing she translated the skeptics creed into Swedish.

So I want you to, I mean, it's yours. So go ahead and read the Swedish version. So I appreciate this. This is not a Google translate. This is the hard painstaking labor of a, uh, uh, clearly of a master transcriptionist. Bork, bork, bork, bork, bork, Ikea. Bork, bork, bork, bork, Abba. Bork, bork.

Bork, bork, bork, bork. Calais. Caviar. Bork, bork. Bork, Bork, Bork, Bork, Abba. Bork, Bork. Bork, Bork, Bork, Bork, Kale's. Caviar. Bork, Bork. Bork, Bork, Bork, Bork, Bork. Kot Bular. I have no idea what the last pieces were. Man, you did a great job on that. I feel like I nailed that Kot Bular.

I have no idea what that means. I think you missed a Bork near the end, though. Now I've got to look up and see what I just nailed. I think you missed a Bork near the end, but still pretty good. I mean, decent attempt. All right. Thank you. capillara's meatballs made from ground so that's the swedish meatball look at that we've gotten a lot of different listeners lately um we've also scared away a lot of listeners but we've gotten a lot of different listeners uh from both uh from both the thinking atheists we want to thank all you and welcome you all from the Thinking Atheist. We think Seth's a great

guy. Awesome dude. Guy who gives his time. And just a genuinely nice guy. When you hear him behind the scenes, you recognize how nice a person he is. He's the type of guy who will say things like, just let me know how I can

serve you. I mean, it's like, nobody says that. Certainly nobody in our nobody says that nobody i mean certainly nobody in our circle says that they're just like well how long is this gonna take right right he's super awesome though but we also got a message from someone who found us from dogma debate uh and we think that that's great this is uh this is cons you who found us and uh and they found us through dogma debate and we did that 24-hour broadcast-a-thon which we you know it's long way off now but hopefully there'll be something like that later this year that we could go to too um but yeah we we're happy to uh accept all the different people who come from various different places uh and find us yeah thanks man welcome it's uh it's great to have

you as a listener it's great to have all of our new listeners we're we're grateful for the opportunity to offend you Tom we got a message from David in Kentucky yeah so David sent us a message outlining he had some interesting thoughts about Christianity and slavery and while they were interesting I actually want to read the PS to your email

he says the bumper you have of the woman breathily praying apologizing to her God over a loudspeaker for prayer being taken out of schools and secular humanism flooding in makes me cringe every time I hear it. I can't tell if she's orgasming or crying in it. Probably a little of both. And it is the public emotional masturbation that I can't stand and embarrassed for on behalf of the individuals that don't know better. I fucking love that P.S.

on behalf of the individuals that don't know better. I fucking love that P.S. That I think is the perfect way to phrase it. That fucking public emotional masturbation. I hate that shit. That fucking lip-quivering, false-crying, voice-cracking, look-at-me-attention-whoring nonsense. That shit makes me fucking crazy. So I really appreciate that public emotional masturbation.

I think it's the perfect way to phrase it. We got a great message. This one just says, I'm going to read it start to finish. It just says, hi, that's the subject. And it says, how are you doing? My name is Jessica. I wish to get your reply to tell you my reason for contacting you. Thanks.

Wait for your reply. You're Mr. Jessica. I had no idea I was Mr. Jessica. That's amazing. I also love that I got to contact this person to get their reply on what they wanted to talk to me about. That's tremendous. Tom, we got another one, too too this one is about gold though yeah so this this is also an awesome message i'm certain to to reply to i have a raw gold for sale no i have a raw gold to say i'm sorry i'm saying it's

so hard to read these without correcting it like. I know. I have a raw gold to sale. Reply back for details. A raw gold? Oh, good. I will only reply back if you have a rolled gold for sale. He's got one raw gold. A raw gold. Just the unit of raw gold.

How many units of raw gold do you have? I have one unit of raw gold. To sale. That is how many units of raw gold? How many units of raw gold do you have? I have one unit of raw gold. To sale. That is how many units of raw gold I have. What are you looking to do with it? I'm looking to sale it. I would like to sale. Do you want for buy?

That's amazing. So that wraps it up for this week. We are going to be back next week with another episode to depress you. But until then, we will leave you as we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Double bubble toil and trouble. Pseudo quasi alternative. Acupunctuating pressurized. Stereogram pyramidal free energy healing. Water downward spiral. Brain dead pan sales pitch. Late night info docutainment.

Leo Pisces. Cancer cures. Detox reflex foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti.

Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this.