Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 218: Socks and Bagels

Episode Date: April 6, 2015

  :  

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey guys, love the show. Listen, best names for podcasts and worst names for podcasts. Here we go. Best names first. Cognitive dissonance. Dogma debate.

Thinking atheist. Worst names. Cooking with tilapia. Pedophiles today. Sex toys.ys, featuring Ken Ham, Gloryhole. Hey, it's Henry calling in from Betchenville, Arkansas. Just wanted to add myself to the list of people that actually live in Arkansas that listen to your show. So love the show and Gloryhole, motherfuckers. Gentlemen, this is Chris from Milwaukee.

First, thanks for doing what you're doing. It's a lot of fun to listen to. Second, it recently occurred to me that 20%, around 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, and therefore God is the biggest abortionist of all. So, who's that guy on the other side of the abortion hose? It's Jesus. Thank you. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago. I was hoping to catch you.

You were looking down. I was hoping to startle you a little bit with the Glory Hole. You didn't finish. I know. Go. All right. Body massage machine. Go.

Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago. This is cognitive dissonance. Every episode we blast anything. No, no. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking. We blast various things. We blast it out of the glory

hole. It's going to be one of those episodes. Here we go. Get in our way. Skeptical, political, welcome mats. It is one of those. Drink your bourbon. Your afternoon

bourbon, sir. I got a cough, and I'm going to treat that cough like grandma used to treat coughs. A little bit of bourbon. And snake oil. A little bit of cough drops and a whole lot of anger. And depression dust. And depression. And I'm also going to save all of my papers.

I just, let me put this in my jar of buttons. Are you going to use that soap sliver? We were cleaning out a house of a person who is now deceased and came across depression era, you know, because depression is people just save everything. Yeah. You know, the fucking things you put under the meat, you know, the fucking meat styrofoam. Yeah. Fucking whole goddamn stack of meat styrofoam. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The fucking whole goddamn stack of meat styrofoam. You're just like, what are you going to do with the meat styrofoam?

Like, when is that ever going to be useful? Because even if you washed it, it still had meat juice on it. I know, right? And it's not like you could run it through the dishwasher because it would melt. It gets like this. So that means it's hand washed, so it's like. Ridiculous. It's always got E. coli on it. Always. It's always got E. coli on it.

Always. Every day it has E. coli on it. Cleaned out that person's refrigerator. And it was. The year was 2004. But there was trout in there from 1983. Trout? Trout?

That's not a saving food. At that point it had already evolved into a larger fish. It was like a cod. It had legs. It's like there's a fucking salamander at that point. It's like that's ridiculous. You know, the thing is like I'm sympathetic and actually somewhat like I think that there's like kind of a virtue to that idea of saving and reusing.

Because you're fucking cheap. Oh, yes. Yes. But I also think that that's way better than like the disposable consumer culture. Oh, yeah, sure. Like I just fucking throw it away and buy another one. It's like we treat everything that way. We do.

It kind of makes me crazy. But there's a point where you're like you're just saving garbage. You're just like – it's not, it's not like buttons. Like I make fun of like, we did the same thing. I clean out like a house of somebody who's moved into a retirement home. And it's like, there's like a big jar full of like odds and ends buttons. And I'm just like, you didn't, it's fine that you saved them. Yeah.

But you didn't do the second step of reuse. Yeah. Which is the use again part. You just had them. All you did was like, instead of throwing it away now, you waited 20 years to throw it away. Yeah, you have like leprechaun currency. I'll buy your pot of gold for these 50 buttons. What do you say there, lad?

Let me pay you the buttons. And I go, oh, Jesus, Matty and Joseph, how many buttons does it take? I just want to pay, so that's all. That's amazing. You're going to have me big buttons. Okay. So this is a show. Let's see how we do this.

I want to talk before we get started, Tom. Okay. Yeah. We spent a good deal of this morning at the bank. We did. So much of the morning that it very nearly wasn't morning anymore when we left. Nearly afternoon. In order to have an incorporation,

we have to have a joint bank account. Well, the joint bank account that we had was not good enough for the government. So we had to actually go out and get a business account. So that's what we did today, was get a business account. And the most delightful part of that entire exchange was the woman on the phone with corporate.

And this is how her side of the because I didn't hear the other side of the conversation. We were just sitting there. I didn't hear the other side of the conversation. But what I did hear where the conversation was. So the company name is Glory Hole. Glory Hole. No, it's two words. Glory. G.L.O-R-Y.

Hole. It was. It was pretty great. And then at the very end of the conversation, my very favorite part of the conversation was when she turned to us at the end. And she said, and when you get your new cards in the mail, it will have your business name. I know. I want to pay for. Here's what I'm going to do, Cecil.

She knew what glory hole was. Oh, yeah. And she never mentioned it. She always referred to it when she talked to us as your business name. Your business, yeah. And when Tom told her the business name is right here. Right. No one in the office ever said the words glory hole until it was her on the phone and she had to.

It's like when you call tech support and your password is like dogfucker78 or something. And you're just like, I'll spell it for you. It's D-O-G-F. All my passwords are dogfuckers78, by the way. Well, I mean, the truth will out. I do want you to know that I plan to put all of my actual money, I'm going to move all of my money into that account just so that as often as possible, I can pull out a card that says glory hole on it. And actually, I want to pay for my that says Glory Hole on it and actually pay. I want to pay for my groceries with the Glory Hole card.

Everything. I want to donate at church. You go to tithe. You're like, do you take credit? Do you take debit cards? Yeah. Hang on. You know what?

I bet you those bishops, they have it right in their hat. You could just swipe it to their hat. What else is that thing good for? I don't know. Yeah. They just don't want to pay the swipe fees, though. It was amazing, though. That was the best part of the morning. It was pretty good.

Well, it was the only part of the morning. Yeah, I mean, it's- It took the whole fucking morning to open. What takes so long to open a business checking account? Why did it take- What in that process? It's like buying a motherfucking car. You're like, I want the car.

I have all the money in my hand. They're just like, sure. Sit here for six hours. I have all the money. You have all the car. I give you the money. You give me the car. I have all the money in my hand. They're just like, sure. Sit here for six hours. Like, I have all the money. You have all the car. I give you the money. You give me the car. I don't need.

We don't. Yeah, but I just got to go disappear for a while. Fucking what? No. There's like a disco party back somewhere that they've got to go get in on. You think they could sell more cars if they made that process shorter, right? I got to go do some coke. Hey. I'll be back in a few minutes. Hang on shorter, right? I gotta go do some coke. Hey.

I'll be back in a few minutes. Hang on. We always have a celebration before the deal closes. Yeah. So. We're gonna go undercoat someone's car real quick. Hang on. I gotta go manufacture the car.

The car that you, all the cars in the lot are cardboard. Yeah, I know. And we build them to order like a fucking Burger King. Hang on a minute. They're like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory in here. We have a whole yard full of Oompa Loompas out back. They just build any car we want. It is just insanity, but we're on the course of insanity. And if we do this, there is a judge in heaven and that judge in heaven is going to

take vengeance against those who damage Israel. That's what the bible says don't touch them though he who touches you touches the apple of my eye you're sticking your finger in god's eye that's what the bible says so this first story comes from why that news is it news baby who knows um what is that velvet Why not? Maybe. Who knows? What is that, velvet? It's velvet. Heredity Papers banned picture of young girls' feet. So two newspapers in a place, a Belt Shemesh.

That's not a place. That's a sandwich, isn't it? Oh, you're going to Belt Shemesh? No, I'm full. I had lunch. Can you put a little bit of tomato on there? No, just a schmear. Schmear a little tomato.

I like the tomato. No, hold the bacon. So they don't want to publish an ad. There's a sock store. First of all, I was struck that there is a whole store that just sells socks. You would think you wouldn't need to be so specific. Like, hey, I got my socks.

Where do I go? Should I go to a department store where I could conceivably run other errands at the same time? Or should I go only to a store that sells socks? Yeah. Why do you need a whole store for this? It's like a toothpick store. Right? It's just like I bought all my toothpicks there.

It'd be like if you went grocery shopping. Oh, I gotta get garbage bags. Fuck. I gotta go to Garbage Bags R Us. Hang on. Gotta swing by the garbage bag store. It's such a weird niche store. Do you want to sell shoes too?

No, fuck it. Just the socks. We're just selling socks. Not clothes of other stripes. No, no. Just socks. But it's all the socks. We're just selling socks. Not clothes of other stripes. No, no. Just socks. Yeah. But it's all the socks.

What? Fucking crazy. Anyway, they won't run the ad for this inevitably doomed store. You would think if they're Jewish, they have better business sense. You know what I mean? Like, come on. Because the ad shows the feet of a two-year-old girl. Huh.

And it's just from like just above the ankle down to the shoes. And then it says, I don't know, Jewish word. Was she playing like hacky sack with a purple dildo or something? What is happening? Why are they banning it? It's actually, it's a foot fetish site. So yes, they are just the feet. But there is something going-inch thick massage between.

There's something going on between at this point. Yeah. They're covered in a very soft sheen of something. I've got a mid-spurt. Yeah. It's a... No, no, they're just... The high-speed camera took that picture.

Wow, it's amazing. It's like Mythbusters. Like, really, it's just a girl's feet. Yeah, it's just her biscuits, man. And it's like a cute little picture. It's a nice picture. Like, it's an adorable little picture, like, one on top of the other, like, that sort of coy, like, oh, I'm a little girl. Right.

Who cares? And they've obviously so fetishized the idea of womanhood or femininity that the idea of a fucking pair of covered feet. These feet are covered in shoes and socks. Yeah. There's two layers of before you can penetrate to the skin. Let's stop there. Before then, I don't look at any young girl ever sexually. I just don't.

I just don't do it. I just when I see a young girl, I think, oh, how adorable, how cute or whatever, right? Yeah. But I don't think, hot damn. I don't think that. Right. It's not that I turn it off. It's that it's never on.

Yeah. Right? It's just not on. Because you're not a pedophile. That's not what you're attracted to. It's not like I look at them like, oh, my God, man. I love how you wear your pigtails there, young lady. Oh, my God.

I don't think like that. It just doesn't even occur to me so when somebody says i gotta ban these pictures well why are you banning them there's only two reasons to ban them one you are the person sexualizing them right like so you are bringing something to the table that is horrific and two the other the other reason is you just hate fucking women you know and it's like you look this, and wouldn't the onus be on the viewer of the ad to interpret the ad? Sure. In other words, like, so you send me this ad from your fucking doomed sock outlet or fucking sock joint. I don't know how this works.

And I look at it, and I'm just like, wait a minute. It's called Socks and Bagels. Socks and Locks. Socks and Locks. It should be Socks and Locks. That's awesome. That's great. Oh, man. We got to open a fucking Socks and Locks store.

That would be tremendous. It's so niche. It's the most niche. It would be full of Jewish hipsters. That's amazing. Oh, my God. It would be awesome. Socks.

I love it. But, like, you get this image and you're like, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, we can't have dudes turned on by this. Like, maybe they should just fucking control themselves. Yeah. Like, we shouldn't put the onus on the image to be, it's just a picture of fucking kid feet. Yeah. Like, actually, you should publish this

and then if people complain send the police there because something weird is happening yeah clearly those people are weird something's going on all right i got fucking turned on by these kid feet yeah we'll be right over there to arrest you for something we're not sure what yet but we're sure there's something in your basement that has the lotion in the basket. There is a basket. There's lotion. There's probably a little dog named Precious. I wanted to read something. This is from a Hasidic paper.

Now, Hasidic is not Haredi, but they're in the same sort of branch, right? So Haredi, I think, is the base, and then Hasidic branches out a little, right? But they're both ultra-Orthodox, okay? This is from a book called Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman. And an interviewer asked her, the subject of sex was a total mystery to both you and your husband. What's it like to embark on a sexual relationship when you have no idea how it works? Okay, so this is what the question was. The person said, no one ever said the word sex or even vagina to me.

We had no clue. We were like, it'll work out. It never worked out. There's an actual rule that you learn before you get married that you are never supposed to look at the genitalia. You can't look at yours and you can't look at his. It's always dark. There's no hole in the sheet, but it's pitch dark and there's no looking down and there's a lot of fumbling around and you're wearing a nightgown rolled up to your waist. There's no boot touching.

Mine were totally wasted. There's no oral sex. After the first time, you have to call a rabbi and he asked the man questions. Did this happen? And he declares you either clean or unclean. And if you consummated, once you're consummated, you're unclean because you bled.

So after your first time, your honeymoon is a no sex period for two weeks. Every month, your husband can't touch you. He can't hand you a glass. Even if your fingers don't touch, he has to put it down on the table and then you have to pick it up. Secondary contact can't happen. If you're sitting on the sofa, you have a divider between you.

It makes you feel so gross. You feel like an animal in the room. And if there's a question about your period, you take your underwear and you put it in a Ziploc bag and you give it to your husband. And he takes it to the synagogue and he pushes it through a special window. And he takes it to the synagogue and he pushes it through a special window. And the rabbi looks at it and pronounces it kosher or non-kosher. It was so disgusting. That's from a branch off of this religion.

So while I'm not saying that these are the exact same rights in which this religion comes from, I think we can tell maybe it's not about sexualizing what i think is it's about women hate it's about how much we hate and are weirded out and grossed out by women i think that's more the the reason why this can't be shown dude that is outrageous isn't that the craziest shit you've ever heard that is the you gotta put your fucking that's like a fucking teller window with the bank is there like a tube that takes it to the red light? And he's back there smelling panties for Christ's sakes. Who devises a system where all the joy is pulled out of sex? You know, that's the thing. Like, why would you even, even if I don't understand why you would devise this crazy fucking moon system where you want to have sex with your wife and she's got to wear a fucking nightgown.

You can't fucking touch her boobs and there's no oral sex and you're just like you're not looking at each other and you're fucking around. You know, it reminds me of like horrible. It's like fucking at 14. Like it's just as fast as you can get over with hump and hump and hump until you shoot your goo and then just move on. Be like, you want to watch TV now? That's it. God, he just – but I can't imagine – if I were creating a religion, it would demand boob touching. It would be mandated the whole time.

I would make one of those cult religions where I get to bang everybody. That's what I'd make. Come on. That's right. That's what you do. That's called all of the modern religions. Right. Right.

Right. Like all of them have like some dude who's in charge and by in charge, it means he's like, uh, I need more wives. You're my wife and you're my wife and you're my wife and you're my wife and you're my wife and you're my wife. You're married to someone else. Not anymore. You're my wife.

It's like a game of freeze tag where they don't get unfrozen. It's yours. Yeah. No way. I'm just yours. No way. I'm getting hacked. Of course you do. No, no, this is major. They've already burned through the NCIS public firewall.

What is that, a video game? No, Tony, you were getting hacked. So this story comes from Reuters.com. Second blogger hacked to death in Bangladesh. So Bangladesh is on the list of places not to go. Just saying. It was never on my list of places to go, as a matter of fact. But I would not be writing a blog.

I wouldn't write a fucking food blog in Bangladesh. No kidding, right? This is how you deal with... Because they machete you. It's not like they're... They don't even shoot you. They don't even have the fucking good graces to murder you with semi-modern weapons. Yeah.

In an expedient fashion. Right. When you get murdered for blogging, they actually, but I will say that they finally settled the age-old question about whether or not the pen is mightier than the sword. Yeah. Yeah. The keyboard is certainly less mighty than the machete. Yeah. Yeah because it's the second blogger in what two weeks yeah three weeks now that gets hacked to death with machetes fucking find a new line of work such as machete repair

i don't know like somebody had a comment where was that i forget where i saw it maybe it was an email to us somebody said we should change the pen is mightier to the sword to the bit is mightier than the bullet oh i like that yeah yeah because nowadays where the bite is mightier than the bullet because it's right uh it's you know that yeah it's updating it sure um this is this is horrible i think i think the problem is is that he was featured on slash.com and that was you know slash dot you know they they do feature blogs on occasion and sometimes you get the slash dot right you know publicity and bad i found a different article about this okay and the different article um the different article i found says uh his friends

warned him to be careful to watch what he posted online but he dismissed these concerns saying his facebook profile page didn't even bear his picture they don't even know what i look like he told them but they found him and um another thing here it says they were posting comments on his facebook page when he would post things they would say things like get ready for the afterlife and one person commented on his posts see you in hell well doesn't that imply you're going to hell i've never understood that it's like you're fucking doing wrong i'll see you in hell are you also a sinner like because you're calling me a sinner and i'm going to hell for it but you're screwed

too maybe heaven has a really nice balcony right or like a porthole i'll see you in hell right but i won't be there maybe you could just visit yeah right maybe that's maybe that's how what i'll do is i'll i'll slip the concierge like 10 bucks so I could visit you for a few minutes and then I can come back to heaven. Maybe hell is like a nursing home where you deposit your parents once you're done with them. You know, you just once a month on Sunday afternoons, you could zip down to hell and just. No, mom, I'm your son. Yeah, yeah. Do we have to keep the heat turned up in here all the time, dad?

Is this it? Like this is what we're doing? It's 100 degrees in here. Another comment too from that same story. Of the three involved on Monday morning attack, two were quickly caught by bystanders. Two were quickly caught by bystanders. In confession to the police, the pair both told both Islamic students at Islamic schools said they didn't know what a blog was, nor had they seen his writing. They were acting on the orders of another person who told them killing this guy was their religious duty.

I'm sure it was their religious duty because of American imperialism. Oh, Jesus. Right. religious duty i'm sure it was their religious duty because of american imperialism oh jesus right i'm sure that i'm sure that they murdered a man whose blog they didn't even read yeah right because it was their religious duty but somehow religion had nothing to do with it what what happens all the time is that feeling of you know we hear that all the time from the different factions especially the far liberal factions in the United States where they talk constantly about how it's the fault of us or somehow it's not the religion's fault. The religion isn't at fault here. It's the people. It's political.

It's all this stuff that's happening. This is clearly an example of how this – I mean what's political about this? This guy was posting pictures of Charlie Abdo and he got killed because of it he was posting pictures about Mohammed and things like that and he got killed because of it there's where's the politics in that I don't know where I mean you know if you can explain it to me I'm willing to listen right but I don't I I don't see the politics I don't see where that comes in I don't see where the ulterior motives and where our

natural inclination comes from these people didn't even know him and they were ordered to do it like a fucking mafia hit. How do you have control over someone else to do something like that if it's not religion or the mafia? Right. Where's the acid attack in the world right now where you can point to it and say, yeah, that's clearly that's clearly not because of the religion. It's all because of the religion. It's always because of the religion. It's always because they are misogynist and they want to keep the patriarchy in check in their particular country. Well, and you can't do something because it's your religious duty if it's not based on your religious belief system. If you came up to me and said, Tom, here's a machete. I need you to go kill that dude that I disagree with. It's your religious duty.

I'd be like, you're out of your fucking mind. What are you talking about? You're a fucking lunatic. And I'm calling all of the police, all of them. I'm calling police in cities and states we've never even been to to try to arrest you. You are a fucking lunatic and I'm calling all of the police, all of them. I'm calling police in cities and states we've never even been to to try to arrest you. You are a fucking lunatic, you barbarian. It can't work without it. It relies on this. It relies on fealty. It relies on un on the set of specific beliefs, but it relies on the very idea that these beliefs are things to be valued more than human life. Right. You have to you have to believe that ideas are bigger than human life in order for you to even consider that taking somebody else's life is a just act. And I think for for myself, maybe for for other other atheists i can't speak for all of them obviously because there's nothing to unite them but for secular humanists i think in general

the idea is that that human life has value and that ideas are things which we should also value but we value them less than the fucking human life person yeah you know where's the secular humanist excuse for murder it doesn't exist i mean it's not to say a secular humanist can't commit murder but you can't commit it in the name of secular humanism right there's no doctrine that tells you you need to do this right that you should do this because it's the right thing to do right yeah no fucking machete attacks want to contact the guys go to dissonance pod.com to get links to their google plus Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and

leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher, or spread the word about the show.

We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story comes from today.com. Teen behind video insulting Christians to be charged. In Singapore, a 16-year-old posted a video of himself making disparaging remarks about Christians and he's being arrested for it because that's how you evidently deal with year old posted a video of himself making disparaging remarks about christians um and uh he's being arrested for it because that's how you evidently deal with free speech is you arrest teenagers for speaking their mind if you arrested every fucking teenager who disagreed with

authority i know you would just arrest all of the teenagers well and this is the problem with blasphemy laws right this is i'm going to read directly from this article. This is that Today article on the Singapore Today. It says, in a statement, Deputy Commissioner of Police said, please take a stern view of acts that could threaten religious harmony in Singapore. offensive content online with deliberate intention of wounding the religious or racial feelings of any person will be firmly dealt with in this accordance with the law. So that's a blasphemy law. If it's upsetting the cart, you are going to get punished here. And this in particular feels like a mistake from a child rather than somebody who is purposefully going to try to make a statement. Like this blogger, the blogger in the previous story, he's making a statement. Sure.

Yeah. He doesn't think he's going to get killed, but he's still making a statement. Same thing. I mean, this is different. This is, this is just somebody who fucked up as a kid,

you know, a teenager, just a kid. This is, I mean, kids rail against authority all the time. That's part of the developmental stage of being a teenage person. They become adults.

Right. You have to – you can't – I wouldn't even want to raise a kid who didn't question authority at that age. Right. You want them to do that because it sort of shows they're growing out of this sort of believe everything the authority figure says and then moves into – Yeah, your plan at that age. Right. The plan at that age, I think think is to be the worst parent you possibly can because if they rebel against you then they do the good stuff and there you go what

you want to do is just be a like a parent who like smokes dope with your kids does lines off hookers asses things like that and then you're someone be like screw that i'm gonna read well then i'm already halfway there. I'm going to stay home and watch a documentary. Right. There you go. On Netflix. Show you, Dad.

I'm going to make something on Minecraft. I learned it from you. You know, it's like, and it's so crazy because like if you read through, like, did you read through any of these comments at all? I don't read comments. No, you're a smarter man. Yeah, I stopped doing that yeah so if you go through some of the comments people are talking about like not whether he should be punished but how he should be punished like you know like the comment that i'm looking at says like don't charge him as an adult instead give him community service

counseling put him through a national education program limit his internet access why don't you just say hey he's a fucking teenager who wrote things down and stop. It doesn't matter. It makes no difference. Why would you want to build a society where you're limiting the – and I know not every society has free speech or all the things the united states does one thing it does very very well is it is fucking straight up crazy aggressive about free speech yeah we don't let anyone fuck with that under any circumstances you can say the fucking most hate-filled crazy westborough kkk fucking nonsense and everybody will stand there and fucking look at you and be like, you're an asshole. But you have a right to say it. And I think there's value there. I think that is something really unique about this country that is truly valuable.

In the name of Jesus, we speak that. This story comes from CNN.com. Viral tornado photo, A sign from God? Well, if it is a sign from God, it's the sign of an asshole God. In Tulsa, Oklahoma, a tornado ripped through, leveled a whole bunch of shit, killed at least one person. Yeah. This is after a tornado rolled through the same area relatively recently in oklahoma and killed like 11 people yeah but there's a fucking telephone pole which is in the shape of a cross because telephone poles are cross-shaped oh yeah and it's not destroyed and

so people are like oh man god is with us well god is us. That's true because he didn't destroy the telephone. It's in the shape of a cross. And when there's a tornado in like a Muslim country, if you find a croissant roll, that's a symbol that Allah is with you. So I think, you know, especially if it's a bakery, there's a good chance. So, you know, that Allah approved this tornado. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a suicide bombing and all that's left is a crescent roll. This is like God's stamp and triplicate. This is what this is. He's basically saying, I endorse. He's like George Bush or Rick Perry. He's like, I'm Rick Perry and I approve this message. He's like, I'm God and I left a telephone pole. I approve this tornado.

I approve this massacre. I approve this natural disaster. Yeah, that's God. God, if you were to believe this this god would be no different than any other fucking abusive relationship right it's like he beats the shit out of you and then makes you say thank you oh no right it's like he comes down he's like hey hey look you're not doing anything boom right in the fucking nugget you're like oh fuck say thank you that's right yeah that's right. Love me more.

Love me more. You're right about the occurring together, right? I mean, that's how telephone poles look like crosses. It looks like a cross. A cross-shaped thing is still shaped like a cross. We have them all across the country. I'll be impressed when God impales a dog

through another dog in a teapad. That's when I'll be impressed. I'll be like, okay, there you go, God. You win. There's a dog through another dog in a teapad. That's when I'll be impressed. I'll be like, okay, there you go, God. You win. There's a dog through another dog. Here's what would impress me. And the one is walking around with the other one on. It's like a fucking coat. And he's walking around being like, I'm fucking God. Alright, you win. I'll give you that.

Tornado hits a Rubik's Cube factory full of Rubik's Cubes. All fucking jumbled. Right? Yeah. And then it hits and they're all like fucking reassembled even better even better they're all assembled but they're all assembled in a cube with that particular faith asset out yes so that they're all blue on one side all red yeah a huge giant cube all in one cube all of a sudden it's just like oh man he fucking tornado reassembled hundreds of Rubik's Cubes into a single

Even better. It hits a small town, it hits the graveyard, and all the people come back to life. Alright, you got me. Or, here's one. Or God fucking shows up and does something.

He's like vacuuming, he's like What? It's got cyclonic action. It's a Dyson. What do you want? It would be great too if there was a tornado coming and then a giant celestial hand was like, thump, and just fucking

snuffed it out like a birthday candle and it was all caught on camera. Multiple cameras. Many, many, many cameras. All of a sudden you'd be like, 60 cameras. And then God just writes in the corn, you're welcome. Then I'll kind of, right. Multiple cameras. Yeah. Many, many, many cameras. And then all of a sudden you'd be like 60 cameras. And then like, God just writes in the corn. You're welcome. You know,

then I'd be like, okay, fair enough. All right. I mean, you could have just not even had it come toward us though. You know? Cause again,

now it's just sort of threatening. You know, it's like, I'll slap you if you don't, I'll fucking slap the shit out of you. All right. I didn't slap you. You fucking be great.

Flight. I didn't slap you. That's right. I could slap you anytime. It's ridiculous well it's it's it's like looking at a fallen down building right in another like when there's an earthquake and just saying well god loves us or something i mean i don't even know what you said this is destruction this is not a good thing it's it's it's a falling down thing right why is that a plot? They did the same thing with 9-11. They did, right.

Oh, there's a cross. There's a fucking million crosses in the building. That's how buildings are made. Yeah, it's a cross. Great. There's also 3,000 corpses. What are we going to do? Are we going to pose them on there?

One at a time? Everybody gets their picture taken? Am I supposed to look at that and be like, fair trade? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Scott. picture taken is this am i some am i supposed to look at that and be like fair trade yeah yeah all right thanks god i would definitely trade the lives of 3 000 fucking people for a fucking stick crossing another stick at a perpendicular angle are you kidding me it's the most absurd thing ever it's like remember when that when i think it was wolf blitzer but i could be mistaken interviewed that woman after the fucking tornado and he's like you know you know, I bet you're saying thank you, God.

And she's like, actually, I'm a fucking atheist. I'm thinking like, what is there to thank? My house is trashed. I should thank him when my house isn't trashed. Yeah. Right? Like I should wake up on a fucking random Tuesday afternoon and thank him. That's the other thing too, right?

You got out with your life, but everything is gone. Like all of your shit is gone. So you got out with your life. Okay, well, why should I thank him? He. So you got out with your life. Okay. Well, why, why should I thank him? He's the dick who fucked my house up. No,

I should be like, Oh, that's great. Thanks God. Thanks for, thanks for sending the thing at me. Have it destroy me and nearly kill me. Scare the ever loving fucking shit out of me.

And afterwards be like, Oh, that was good. That's like, that's like having an abusive relationship where they only cut off your pinky right like oh okay i'm glad i still got these other pointers right exactly it is it's reek and ramsey that's amazing i said who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus.

So this story comes from 3AW693. Toes talk. You almost got it. You're close. I feel like I nailed it. It's 3AW.comAU. Yeah. Wait,.com.au?

Why? Is that a thing? Noralia is not really a thing priest sparks outrage at melbourne melbourne melbourne i said it right melbourne melbourne i've been hanging out with jake he tells me what these things and it's melbourne that's just lazy pronunciation you're just skipping things melbourne no no okay just no it's the melbourne identity no we live in illinois illinois priest sparks outrage at melbourne primary school over comments relating to jill meager's rape and murder um catholic priest sparked outrage, we know that's the first line. Anyway. I hate when they fucking use the article to repeat the headline.

Well, when the Daily Mail does it, they literally have to because the entire title is the article. Fucking lazy writing. Anyway, he said that it's basically her fault that if she had been more faith filled, she would have been home in bed and not walking down Sydneydney road at 3 a.m when she was raped and murdered well it's basically saying well she you know if she was a better person if she was better and more pious and at home i wouldn't blame her for being a victim sure right yeah and it's basically casting aspersions on her character to say like look i mean there's a certain kind of person winkity wink wink wink who's walking down sydney road at 3 a.m and those are the kinds of people that get raped and murdered so my dad used to say when i was growing up um nothing good happens after midnight right he used you say that all the time and he'd be and and so that that whole idea is basically saying that no matter what when you go out after a certain point in time

at night that you're looking for trouble yeah you're blaming the victim right you know that's all there is and why don't we have streets where it's okay to walk around i mean what who cares if you're walking around at three in the morning yeah whatever she's doing it's her fucking business right she has a right to do without being business. It's her business, right? She has a right to do it without being raped and murdered. Like, you have a right to do whatever you're doing. Yeah. I don't care what it is that you're doing.

You always have a right to do that thing. As long as it's not breaking the law. Yes, but you always have a right to do that thing without being raped and murdered. Like, there is no thing that you're doing. What if you're raping and murdering? Well, okay, maybe. Carry the four. Oh, the math works yeah oh i get it i get it i see what you did there but like and is this a society we want to justify is this a society we're like yeah we're building a just society but in this just society

that i'm building uh we want to make sure that people walking at 3 a.m are raped and murdered because you what you what you're basically saying is, like, she had it coming. Well, then, like, you could just troll the streets. It's fucking, like, after, what time is it that it's the fucking, what's that movie? The Purge. The Purge. I was thinking the exact same thing. Like, after 12, it's The Purge until 6.

Right. And then, what if I have to get up and go to the gym at 5.45? Fuck you. 15 minutes. 15 minutes of chaos, bitch. Let's hope you can make it. That's it. You're going to be breathing heavy when you go to the gym at 545? Fuck you. 15 minutes. 15 minutes of chaos, bitch. Let's hope you can make it. That's it. You're going to be breathing heavy when you get to that gym.

Can you imagine being like the mayor of Melbourne and you're just like, or whatever. I don't know if you have a mayor or a governor or a fucking high priest. They have a hamburger who runs it. He's got cheese in between. I am the mayor of Melbourne. Yeah. He's got a in between. I am the mayor of Melbourne. Yeah. He's got a little suit on. Whatever fucking unit of government they have over there.

Well, for every governor we have, they have like two and a half governors. So they have to govern by committee. There you go. So you've got your committee of elders or whatever. Your shaman. I don't know. I don't know. And you're just like, okay, we got to put some promotional fucking tourist materials out there to get people to come to our city.

So it should read like, welcome to Melbourne. Be home by 12 or we'll rape you. You're all sick. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard.

This story comes from Huffington Post. Cardinal Raymond Burke. Gays and remarried Catholics are just as sinful as murderers. Well, then your idea of sin is a meaningless idea with no distinctions or graduation. So who cares about it? I think this is really interesting. They talk in this story about how this guy basically equates murderers to gay people, right? Right. this story about how this guy basically equates murderers to gay people right right i think that that might be a real problem with a lot of the people who don't like gays right because they

treat these sin as these sins as equal and for example in indiana that pizza company or whatever was they said that they didn't want to serve a gay wedding although i don't know who orders pizza for a wedding but in any case regardless they still said they wouldn't do it they went out of their way to tell people that they wouldn't do it right no one's asking um and they got two hundred thousand dollars out of it uh because somebody started a kickstarter for them after oh really uh their business was completely trolled on yelp by a bunch of people they they went they somebody started a kickstarter and they sent money to them and whatever. And,

uh, it's funny market fight. It's funny. And one of these, one of these posts, somebody had sent a gay person and sent them $20 and said, I don't agree with, cause they were getting death threats.

Okay. So that's wrong. I think, I think the threats to burn your building down and the threats for that, that's, that's completely out of line. Uh, I actually really don't even agree with the,

I mean, I, I agree with, you know, leaving them a one star review on Yelp or whatever, because who gives a shit about Yelp? And I would, if I was looking through Yelp,

I would want to see, you know, if there's a bigoted organization. Sure. How else are you going to know? I don't think that that's a big deal, but I think that when you, you're out of line when you call them on the phone and,

and, and be, you know, either you order pizzas that don't show up or things, you know what I mean? Whatever it is that you're doing to sort of hurt them or troll them. You don't get to do that. But the person said, I apologize for these people doing this.

I don't agree with what they did. And somebody had put – taken that tweet or whatever and put it and they were a right-wing site and they put it and they said, see, this is what equal tolerance is like. And I'm thinking, wait, wait, wait. Your business was not tolerant. There's no tolerance there. And I'm thinking, wait, wait, wait. Your business was not tolerant. There's no tolerance there.

This person is being magnanimous and saying you can have whatever views you want and I'm willing to give you $20 because somebody fucking did something in my name that I don't agree with. There's no tolerance there. There's no back and forth there. And the same thing is occurring here when these people are saying the sins are equal. When these sins – we say that these sins are the same thing. OK, if that's the case, then why is it that I don't have to prove that I'm not a murderer in that state to not get a cake at a wedding or to get flowers? Why don't I have to do that?

Why is it that you only choose gay people? Why don't you say, we don't serve ex-cons, rapists, murderers, anybody who's been charged with drugs, et cetera. I'll search your name on the child sex database before I provide flowers for your wedding. Why don't we ever hear those sorts of stories? Maybe they exist.

Maybe I'm, you know, there's a possibility that somebody out there, every time somebody comes in to order flowers for a wedding, they search the child sex database. Maybe they do. Yeah, maybe. But I never hear about that. I never hear about that. What happens is, is you show up and they don't like you. They don't like you because you're gay.

Their mindset is, I can't differentiate between these like you. They don't like you because you're gay. Their mindset is I can't differentiate between these two sins. These two sins are the same thing. When I read this, I was like, if you don't if if you're unable to create a graduated scale of crimes in your mind, a graduated scale of morality, if everything is a yes or no, it is or it's not. And if it is, it's equally it's all falls in the wrong category. Like I only I live in a world that only has two buckets right and wrong. Then you are a fucking idiot. Yeah. And your worldview is a useless worldview.

If you have if you honestly think that all questions of morality are either black or white and you are unable to differentiate gray area or to ascribe you know if i can look at you and i can say with all honesty that i don't understand the difference between murdering one person or ordering the murder of six million people that they are the equally wrong that they are they are co-equivalent then you're a fucking fool. You're a fool of a took. Like, I have no interest in this.

Like, you've lost me. It's not even a conversation any longer. I just fucking walk away. You're a fucking dog barking. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. Sir, it comes from the telegraph, which I think we got fucking yelled at for using the telegraph. Did we?

I don't know. We got yelled at for using, or was it the independent? Maybe it using the Telegraph. Did we? I don't know. We get yelled at for using, or was it the Independent? Maybe it was the Independent. I don't know. I don't know. We got yelled at for, I don't know these papers. Right. Whatever.

They're not fucking, if it says UK on it, I normally trust it better than any source we have. If it looks like it's going to be funny, it's going to make it here. And I'll tell you what, this story, beware demonic crisps. Yeah. Crisps, by the the way mean potato chips yeah they real people um that warns polish organization conservative catholic organization in poland warns parents to be on their guard against demonic crisps um man they're dangerously demon-y the problem is that that that cheetos dust so this is like there's Cheetos skeletons, Cheetos demons, and Cheetos vampires.

Wampiry. Yeah, right, because it's in Polish. Wampiry. It's schelatory, demony, and vampiry or whatever. Wampiry. Wampiry. I'm going to call it wampiry. You can call it wampiry.

That's good. But I think in Poland, don't they use the W and the V? It doesn't matter. It's like Melbourne. Yeah, right. It's wampiry. Okay.ably? Doesn't matter. It's like Melbourne. Yeah, right. It's wampory. Okay. I'm good with that.

It's like kotbular. It's pronounced kotballer. Thank you. Kotballer. Yeah, these things are great. Could you imagine if you knew someone who is afraid of jack-o'-lanterns? Literally afraid. Because this is what this is, right?

Yeah, this is the same thing. You created a thing. It's like being scared of gingerbread men. I know. What is wrong with you? It's like that guy who thought that snowmen were sensual. Yeah. Remember that?

Yeah, the mule was like, yeah, don't make snowmen because they make you fucking want to jerk off on them and create a snow cone or something. Like, yeah. Like everything. Everything. I don't want to live in a world and create a snow cone or something. Like, yeah. Like everything. Everything. Like, I don't want to live in a world that I'm so afraid to live in. Like somebody's like, want some Cheetos? First of all, the answer is yes.

I will only eat Cheetos if they come out of a giant 55 gallon barrel. That's the only way I eat Cheetos. Here's the thing. Cheetos are already kind of shaped like gnarly dicks. Yeah, they are. Right. A little tiny. And I still would eat them.

Yeah. I don't care at all. There's nothing you could shape it like. Yeah. There's nothing. You could shape it like my fucking mom getting fucked by a donkey. And I'd be like, yeah. I would eat it.

I would eat it. And it could be. I would put them in a bowl and put milk on them. Are you kidding me? I would pour them into a bowl and put milk on them. Are you kidding me? I would pour them into a bowl at a party with a bowl that says, My mom getting fucked by a donkey. Like Tijuana donkey show Cheetos. They coat those things in MSG dust.

Yeah, and they're like, it's like a white cheddar. They're cream-filled Cheetos. Yeah, and they're like, it's like a white cheddar. They're cream-filled Cheetos. Oh, no. They're like combos. They're like combos that have been redesigned with a dude in either end. They don't even have to rename it i remember 150 years ago i worked at a burger king and they had chicken tenders and then jurassic park came out and they shaped the chicken tenders like dinosaurs

they're amazing i remember thinking it was so appalling. To the chicken. The channel gave its life to be turned into food. Yeah, well, it's more like a sludge, but yeah. But then somebody was like, no, let's shape. It'd be like if you fucking killed me. We're like, I'm going to eat you. But first, I'm going to shape you like a cooler version of you. I'm going to turn you into a T-Rex and eat you. It's like, really?

Like, we're worried about what the shape. We should be worried about the fact that you're eating Cheetos. It's the shape of the thing. Right. It's amazing. Yeah. I ate those fucking chicken tenders. I didn't turn into a fucking dinosaur. You turned into a velociraptor and you killed your dad with your teeth.

I didn't even turn into a paleontologist. Or a meteorologist. I turned into an amateur paleontologist. I turned into New paleontologist. Or a meteorologist. I turned into an amateur paleontologist. I turned into Newt Gingrich. I didn't turn into Newt Gingrich. I just gained his girth. Yeah, I was going to say, same basic body type. Yeah, exactly.

Barrel-shaped. We believe we're moving into a supernatural season where, if needed, God will multiply food. I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking. I mean, when my kids were little, they were always bringing their friends into the house. And I remember, you know, spooning out spaghetti or whatever, just praying in the spirit over that. And God just made more and more and more. This is awesome. This is from the Raw Story.

Christian minister claims her gift of prophecy allows her to predict movie plots um so that's that's a pretty awesome gift god has bestowed upon her when when god was doling out the gifts and he was like all right you you get to walk on water you get to raise the dead um you actually know whether the the the top falls over at the end of Inception. That's your gift. Like you get to – you're the definitive source on Inception. There's a family guy where all the people touch like toxic sludge, all the main characters, and they all get superpowers. And everybody has like these crazy superpowers that are like really good except for Meg.

Meg has the powers to grow her nails a little longer. That's all she can do. It's like me like, oh, they can grow a little bit. And they grow like six inches. That's the best she could do is six inches and she'll scratch you on the arm. That's the worst she can do. And that's what I think when I think of this woman. It allows her to see these movie plots and guess movie plots.

She's in Titanic with her husband. I think the boat's going to sink. Oh my God. Were you touched by an angel? Listen to her claim. In Titanic, she turns to her husband and says, I think his heart's going to go on.

Wait, there's more. And on. So this there's more. And on. So this is from the article. She explained that she felt her first ingling of her prophetic abilities at the Benny Hinn revival in Houston after accepting an anointing from Hinn. Hey-o. Hey, hey. She claims she collapsed. Quote.

Is it a happy ending anointing? Is that what that is? Not that far off. She collapsed afterwards. She's almost in the glory hole. Listen, I was in the throne room. That's what we call it. It's making a schlocking sound.

I was feeling no pain. I was literally in the throne room at the feet of Jesus. I began to weep and say, Lord, this is everything I've ever wanted. I don't want to go back. Don't send me back. Don't send me back. And he said to Becca, you have a husband. You have a daughter. You have

more children. Jesus. And she's like, don't send me back. Don't send me back there. It sucks back there. I don't want to go. And she says later on, I'm really good at going to movies. Well, you can't be bad at it. No, you could.

You just talk the whole time you get kicked out every time. You never turn your cell phone off. Well, that'd be really bad at staying at the movies. When you eat popcorn and it flies out of your mouth onto the person in front of you,

you're like fucking, you're like Oscar the Groucher. No, you're Cookie Monster. Just shooting all over the place. That's because you don't have a fucking esophagus. You're just a sock that someone is filling with cookies. You're not actually swallowing the cookies.

That's amazing. I wonder if during The Godfather, she's like, I wonder if he's going to make him an offer he can't refuse. What are you fucking predicting? It's Fredo. It was Fredo. It was Fredo all the time. It was Fredo. She also had other predictions, though.

She predicted the killer bees would come to the U.S. And then when she goes to the movie, she predicts the ending of the movie. So the killer bees inexorable northward march. Right. She was able to view that trajectory, look at a map and say, yes, we are north. Well fucking played. Here's how I believe her about the movies. She goes, sees Highlander one opening night, and then she turns to her husband and says,

I think they're all from the planet Zist. Then I'll believe her. That's it. I won't believe her until then. Actually, she'd have to go back in time to prove that to me. So that wouldn't work. But there's got to be a way that she could. Maybe she'll she she comes out of the first Matrix and then she says the next two are going to be utter shit

that's there you go there you go she walks out and she her prediction is like they'll make two sequels neither will be watchable we're gonna get so much mail about that matrix show is so good you guys missed it oh my god guys you understand the fucking amazingness of Matrix 3? I'm unsubscribing to the podcast. Here's a YouTube comment. Oh, man. Those mechs were awesome. Those mechs are the worst.

What would you build it with your flesh hanging out? I know, it's like all open in the front. What are you thinking? It's 2015, we figured out body armor on our police, and they build a fucking mech and they're like, yeah, let's have the fleshy, juicy bits right in the front. Could you, I mean, you've seen Japanimation at that point. You know what a fucking mech looks like. You have drones, why wouldn't it be entirely remote controlled?

Make half of them and make the human the Oreo part in the center. I know. Smosh them between each other. Better have the human controlling it from 20 miles away. It should all be remote control. Why should you even show up? I know. Hey, you want to have a fight? Wait a minute.

I could send a robot to fight you from my house. That's better for me me you know what they should have done is just make instead of making the mechs just make a thicker shield around you you clearly have the ore doesn't that doesn't that also like when you're like ordering the guys to make the mechs if you're the shield people be like you have so little faith in my shield because this is a backup plan for when my shield inevitably fails. They had so many mechs. They knew that shield

was failing. You might as well just not even make the shield. Just make more mechs. It's just like, hey, we made a shield. Yeah, listen. Great shield. Bill, make a lot of mechs. Look, we're going to need lots of mechs. It's like some guy who's really just very bad

at SimCity and planning. He was in charge there. How should we reload these mechs? Wheel barrels of ammunition run around by children. Wait a minute, that's literally the least efficient. I forgot!

Because I only saw that movie one time because he was only able to sit through that movie one time, but I only able to sit through that movie one time. But I forgot that there were real bullets for ammunition. What a terrible idea. It's so bad. Oh, what a terrible idea. I took a day off of work to see those movies.

Did you really? I did. I wish I'd gone to work and I hated my job. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. The second one was bad, but the third one was the worst. I know we disagree on that. I think you think the second one is worse than the third one, but I think that the the third one is the worst yeah but it's like do you want someone

to step on your right nut or left you know what i mean it's like i don't know we're gonna get so much mail this is gonna be amazing uh i wonder if this woman predicted that roseblood was his sled at the end of citizen kane also again again, great power from an omniscient being. I can't think of anything less useful. No kidding. Like, other people can, like, raise motherfuckers from the dead. Right. And she's saying, like, that what this movie has done, not only has it made her good at going to the movies, but it makes her a pain in the ass.

Because she says, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. My husband doesn't like it. And her husband says, basically, shut the fuck up. I'm trying to go to the movie. I'm trying to watch a movie here. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.

You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Speaking of bad planning. Bad planning, indeed. The story comes from Huffington Post. Tell you what, the Indiana governor was the governor in fucking Matrixland. He's a bad planner.

How should we refill these, Mayor? I don't know. Wheelbarrows of ammunition. Wheelbarrows full of dirty needles. So Indiana shut down its rural Planned Parenthood clinics, and as a result, they got an HIV outbreak. Yeah, because they weren't able to test. clinics and as a result they got an hiv outbreak yeah because they weren't able to test well the thing is that when you get rid of essential fucking health resources there's fucking health consequences sure right it's not like you know they shut down planned parenthood as if player

and parenthood just does abortion and this particular outlet didn't do abortions but but they but planned parenthood as an organization gets treated like it's a fucking abortion factory. Sure. It's like fucking Chrysler just spitting out fucking fetuses. When you go in, there's like a Denny's-like menu. You can choose what kind of abortion you want. I would like the Rudy Tootie

Fresh and Fruity abortion, please. I don't even know what they do and I don't want to know. I'm actually curious about the Belgian abortion with the strawberries. Can I get the moons over my abortion? Look, if an abortion came with a side of bacon, I'd consider getting it. Sure, yeah. I'd probably get one every morning. Right.

Yeah, no problem. But yeah, I mean, what's there to be surprised about? Right. Like so Planned Parenthood gets demonized all the time as being basically an organization that exists to perform only one service. And so they get they get this hellacious pushback all the time. But really, Planned Parenthood provides fucking essential services to people without means. Yeah, that's what they do. And they do it very capably across the country. That's what they do. And they do it very capably across the country. And when you take like when you just fucking shut them down, it's like all of a sudden people like, where do I go to get fucking STD tests?

Nowhere, it turns out. So then who gets STD? Nobody. All the people get the STDs, but they don't even fucking know it. Yeah. And they yeah, and they don't know it. And so there's no outlet for them to actually do it. So then they just pass it on to other human beings.

And so constantly what you have is this constant passing on of this disease to other people because they have no way to be informed about it. When there was an avenue to actually be informed about it before. Right. Right. What an incredibly short-sighted, poorly planned move. short-sighted, poorly planned move. So we want to thank all of our patrons, of course. We're super appreciative of all our patrons, and we want to thank specifically the newest patrons, Eric, Margaret, David, Mike, Suzanne, Rebecca, and Dave,

Dave G, Stephen, Nathaniel, Rob, Richard, Emily, Mike, Jamie, Nathaniel, Rob, Richard, Emily, Mike, Jamie, David, A, Ron, Matthias, and Les. Thank you all so very much for your generous donations. We're super appreciative of everybody who's donates. The show is legitimately a lot of work, and we're happy that when people recognize and give us their hard-earned dollars to show that they appreciate the show.

So thank you all very much. Yeah, it makes it so much easier to do this show when, you know, really, this has become kind of a second job for both of us. We want to thank Shane and Ian also for donating on PayPal. They did a one-time donation through PayPal. We want to thank them for their generous donations as well. Absolutely. Thank you so much. Tom, we got an interesting message from Bookie McBookerson. Great name, by the way. I love that. That's great. Huge fan of Bookie McBookerson. Bookie McBookerson has a question for us about banning of books.

So Bookie says that they're a librarian in a large public library network. And basically, there's the book, How to Raise Up a Child. That's the beating book, right? That's the beating book. Or To Train Up a Child. The name of the book is To Train Up a Child. That's the beating book, right? That's the beating book. Or To Train Up a Child. The name of the book is To Train Up a Child. It's the parenting book that advises that you beat your kids. It specifically prescribes which kinds of implements you beat your children with. Like rods and things.

And so then the question here is, should the book be withheld from circulation? Or should the book be put out in circulation? And that's not an easy question. What a great question. And so I got to tell you, my initial thought when I read this was abso-fucking-lutely. The book is a degenerate book for assholes that leads directly to the abuse of children. It has no other purpose other than to justify the abuse of children by religious means. But I have a hard time squaring that.

It's a real conundrum because I have a hard time squaring that with my feeling that we don't get to decide which ideas are dangerous. That is not – that's not my job as a librarian. That's not the job of a library system is to identify dangerous ideas and withhold from the public those ideas. And I think of the two, I feel like I lean more in the direction of I don't want to give you or me or anyone else the authority to decide which ideas are too dangerous to be put out for mass consumption what about proper ratios on how to build a truck bomb a book on that well you know what okay but here's the thing when i was a kid i checked out the anarchist cookbook from the library i had to order it and they got it for me though and i got it and i was on a watch

list i'm on all the watch list. I checked it out from the law. I checked out the anarchist cookbook from the library. And I don't know how bullshit that book is or how bullshit that book isn't. Right. But it's kind of in the same vein. Right. I don't feel like I want any government body, whether it's the library, the local government is represented by the library or

whatever, deciding which ideas are dangerous for me. Ideas. Do I think it's reasonable if you check out the anarchist cookbook or how to build a truck bomb? Do I think it's reasonable for you to maybe somebody keeps an eye on you? I don't know, man. Maybe that's a reasonable. Maybe that's a second question that needs to be asked. And I don't know that I have the answer because I haven't given her enough thought. Yeah. I don't's in both of those examples. It's probably going to be innocent people. Right. Especially I'm talking about the truck bomb. Right. Not talking about anarchist cookbook. I'm saying like to do, how you needed to block the doors, how you needed to dress that day, how you needed to take over the office first

so that they couldn't make announcements, whatever it is that you'd have to do to make a successful tactical Columbine work, right? What if that book existed? I don't know if it does, it may. But if that book existed, is that a worthwhile book that you would want to ban? Our ideas, I don't know. These are great questions. If you have a thought, post it on the blog for this particular episode.

Maybe we'll be able to put something together with that, maybe reading a few things in the future. But it's a question that I'm not sure about. I don't know. I personally, like you, I err on the side of personal freedom. I say, you know what? We should be able to choose what we decide is going to be dangerous. And the provisions that we put in place to protect ourselves like the police station and the

the bomb scanners and the things that we use to try to protect ourselves in our daily life should be sufficient that should be enough to protect us dcfs should be enough to protect the children this should be a thing that we use and dcfs and other humans that pay attention to this sort of thing should be enough to protect the, you know, if you saw your sister-in-law had that book, would you not pay closer attention to her? Would you not, would you not immediately say,

Hmm, maybe I'll make a call to DCFS. If I noticed something, I know I would. Sure. I know if I came across one of my relatives or my, my in-laws having that book, I would think twice.

I would say, Oh, maybe I will go swim in next week to see if they have giant bruises on their back, you know, those sorts of things. So I think that there should be enough protections around us to help protect us already. Do I need to put another layer in there to make sure that I'm even more protected and give up my liberties? I don't know that I need to do that. You know what occurs to me is your argument about guns that I need to do that. The price for this kind of liberty, the liberty of open ideas, the unlimited liberty of ideas, maybe there is a price for that too. And maybe there are some prices that are worth paying. I don't know.

I need to think about that a little more. It's a really interesting question. We're glad you brought it up. Clearly, I don't have an answer. But maybe people will have a better, more thought out answer on our website. So go to episode 218 and leave a comment. Or you could leave a comment on the Facebook page for this particular episode. worst presidents ever. Adding to your list, drone strikes, double taps, his war on drugs, his capitulating to the Republicans on everything on the vein, hope that maybe this time they will like him, though admittedly, six years later, he's finally realizing that maybe that's not going to work. He's not doing so much for blacks for fear of being criticized and so on. He says that all

those things make him a terrible president. The Republicans still make up thousands of bullshit reasons to hate him. And I asked myself, why do they make up stuff to hate him when there are so many real reasons? And it hit me. It's because they actually like the real shitty things he does, which are most of the reasons we hate him. So I think that that's a good and accurate portrayal. There's a lot of things that he's the war on drugs. Absolutely. The war on immigrants is another thing that he's that he's sort of I know that he's changing his stance now. But early on, especially through most of his presidency, it was pretty abysmal. So I think I think that there's you know, there's lots of reasons that you need to look at him and say that, you know, he's not the fucking second coming sure yeah i think a lot of people on the left are uh loathe to be critical of uh their guy everybody has that syndrome yeah they want to be critical of their guy um and a lot of us on the left feel like he's not left enough and that's really the problem like we're like you're too centrist and too far right on a lot of these issues yeah but it's like

man you're probably still better than romney would have been so yeah but i don't want to fall into the lesser of two evils yeah we got a message uh this is from drake tom and it's about vaccines so drake says okay so boys i'm quickly writing this at work while listening it is playing as i type with big goofy thumbs it's episode 211 you're asking why vaccines that the parents of kids with autism are holding to? Well, as a parent with a son with autism, I can tell you it's not just the MMR vaccine. It's the heavy metals that preserve the live viruses in all the shots. I'm looking for the chelating results this weekend from a decade ago that showed high levels of mercury, lead, and the highest was aluminum.

He's fully vaccinated. His younger sister is, too. Always vaccinate for the greater good, but do a little homework and look at the spike of autism rate skyrocket. And when they add more vaccines, that's a huge red flag. Doesn't prove a damn thing, but it does make you question. Also, there's nothing out there in the research that points out why there are so many cases. And I just want to say, Drake, thank you so much for the email, first of all. But there is a tremendous amount of research as to why there is a spike in the number of autism cases. And the biggest reason is that we are now diagnosing autism differently and better and earlier than ever before. Autism has probably

always existed, but it was never identified. It's a spectrum disorder, right? And so autism for a long time was not identified properly. It wasn't screened for early. And when you begin looking for disease or looking for these things at an earlier age and you raise public awareness, you're going to find more of them. You're going to find a hell of a lot more of them. And there was a very good article i just read uh the other day in forbes actually that attributed almost all of the rise in autism um over 90 of the rise in autism is attributed to just finding it earlier and that's it um so there's no evidence that it's the heavy metals um that are preserving the live viruses and the shots there's no evidence that that is it's been studied there's no evidence that that is. It's been studied.

There's no evidence. So we don't get to say that until there's evidence. If there's evidence, then we get to say that. Yeah, we'll talk then, for sure. But there is no evidence at all that the heavy metals cause autism. First of all, there's no evidence that heavy metals cause autism, much less that the heavy metals in these shots, right? So you've got two barriers you've got to cross to make that claim.

I want to apologize to Unbeliever's Radio because we totally fucking dropped the ball and did not mention that we were on their podcast. We mentioned that we were going to be on their podcast. We didn't mention when we did it, but we forgot to mention that we did it and we were on their show. So I'm going to post a link to unbelievers radio, the particular show that we were on. And I want to play for you a clip. This clip played while we were on the show and they were told us that we couldn't talk during the breaks because they ran a live show and we couldn't help but laugh at this clip because it's amazing. So I'm going to play this clip for you. This is from Unbelievers Radio. They edited this and put this together. We think it's great. So we're just going to play it.

I mean, you're going to hell right now. And you're needing God to work the miracle for you. God will not only hear, but God will answer my prayers. I pray for you, for God to work in your family. And God is using this thing. And God is a prayer answering God. Yeah. That's amazing.

They were funny, guys. We had a great time I apologize Because it just slipped my mind It wound up hitting In such a weird time We had planned On recording that night

We didn't record that night Because we recorded With them instead And went a little late And so we wound up Recording the next night And it just slipped our mind Because it wasn't out yet

And then when it came out We had recorded Like two days afterwards But again It was like a couple days after It was just a timing thing. Just a timing thing. So I'm really sorry.

But we were on Unbeliever's radio. We didn't mean to be dicks and not fucking post it. So it's posted now. Episode 218. If you want to listen to it, please, we encourage you to go listen to it. We sound terrible because it's live, but it's still fun because they're funny guys. Yeah, I was going to say fun time. We had a really fun time.

And they were funny. And they were really great. They were funny. There was some really funny lines that were thrown out there i was laughing a lot it was a it was a really fun recording it was a good session i we made a mistake um recently a couple mistakes i made i think it was uh i don't remember exactly maybe it was 216 i made a couple mistakes the first was uh the percentages of christian people was high i had found it after a quick google search but i think that the article was from a while ago. It wasn't from, I think that said July, but it did. This person found a more recent

article that said it's 70% of people are Christian, not 83. Like I had quoted. I also said, I think in that same episode that Reagan started the war on drugs. That's not true. He reinvigorated the war on drugs. Nixon started the war on drugs. I wanted to make those two corrections. I apologize. When I was looking up why Reagan was good, the war on drugs was listed, but I didn't realize that he just reinvigorated. He's the one who put a lot of money into it and did – he also did the this is your brain on drugs. Yeah, that was Nancy's push. That was a big thing for Nancy Reagan.

We got an image. This is from – this image is from Scott, and he showed us an image. This is of Dallas-Fort Worth area, and see what you think this looks like. We're just going to put this map up. You go ahead and see what you think this looks like. I'm not going to say, but we're going to put Scott's image here on episode 218. Tom, we got a message about difficulties with computers from Carolyn. This is great. She said that she used to live in the Dominican

Republic, a very poor country where no one really uses computers. There are a few cyber cafes for foreigners, but the power can go out at any minute for an indeterminate amount of time. So people don't really bother with computers. Gee, I wonder why. Anyway, I was there with a 40-ish year old British woman once who had clearly never used a computer, but she wanted to send an email back to the UK.

So I was trying to teach her how to double-click. I never realized that double-clicking takes even a minute amount of dexterity. And I was almost rolling on the floor laughing. And she would click once, move the mouse about a foot away, wait 15 seconds, and do her second click. She absolutely couldn't click twice any faster or without moving the mouse some huge amount. That sounds like my mom. Oh, it's so funny. It's so funny.

It's terrific. Thank you so much for sending that. We got a message from Chris, and Chris says, I just recently discovered your podcast from Thinking Atheist. We want to thank everybody who's come over from Thinking Atheist. Welcome. We're happy that you're here. All the people who hate us from Thinking Atheist, go fuck yourself. It says, I can't get enough of your show.

And he says, by the way, I have no idea where all the glory hole jokes came from. So wanted to mention a couple of things quickly. We also got another message from someone who said that they didn't like that. We put like glory hole stuff and weird stuff in between each one of the stories. So I want to mention a couple of things for any newcomers just really quickly. Yeah, the pieces that are in between each of the stories. Those are indicators of what's coming up next. So if there's a separation of church and state story, especially with school, sometimes I'll play the Skinner quote where he's like, he says something.

Atheists in schools. Or if there's a gay one, sometimes I'll do the proud whopper. Or I'll do the my son's going to turn gay Homer Simpson bit. So I'll do things like that. Whenever there's a Muslim one, I'll take the Muslim call to prayer. We did in the past, we had a Muslim call to prayer contest where people called in and did their Muslim call to prayer. And some people, one person in particular said, instead of saying Allah Akbar said long black cock. And so that gets played on occasion. Some people have riffed off that idea

and played a black Betty, which is a long black cock song. And so those sort of things morph. Also, the glory hole initially started as someone saying, hey, I got a little jingle for you. And they sang a song that goes, and this was actually sung to us at Skepticon at a table.

We were in the middle of a bar and they all sang to us, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. But they sang it pretty well and in tune. They did a fine job at Skepticon. So there's a jingle that we play, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole?

It's Jesus. And we started playing it. And then people started saying, hey, you know what you should use is your, instead of where Rush Limbaugh says, great show, people don't say great show. They say ditto on his show. People should instead to shorthand we love your show they should say glory hole and so that's where the shorthanded glory hole comes from when people

say glory hole to us but then there's also the clips we play in between where people have gone on that riff and sent us clips about glory hole songs and all these glory hole stuff and it's actually the name of our corporation is glory hole studios because of that.

Right. It's a, we have nothing. The best part is like every good thing that has happened in my life. We've had nothing to do with it. Right. Right. I just am tangentially related.

It turned out well. Yeah. I take the credit. Yeah. Speaking of which, here's a glory hole concerto. This one is from Elvis. So we're going to play it very closely,

very quickly for you. Glory hole, glory hole concerto. This one is from Elvis. So we're going to play it very close, very quickly for you. Glory hole, glory hole, where we blow on his pole till he fires off his load. Oh, you don't want no more red lichen, not even a tiny spidgin. Listen to Christopher Hitchens. Real idiots never lie. No, we can't deny you. Here is the great Messiah dripping with wet saliva. Genuflected, you have got the baking

Supple bunny shots Open wide and blow Now we worship the Lord Fluff him up till his heart Stick it through you can swallow The dust so down on your knees To Jesus yes there is a wall Between us wrap him round his sacred

Brain is here at the Floor The wall between us, wrap them around. His sacred brain is here at the floor. That's going to be on our credit cards, by the way. That's amazing. I cannot wait to pay for things with a card that says Glory Hole. I get mail to Glory Hole Studios all the time. Yeah, it's great. Cracks me up. Every time I get it, my wife just shakes her head.

It's hole saws mainly. It's like Ryobi sending you stuff in the mail. All I get is tarp ads. Tarps and mops. Tarps, duct tape. Tom, we got a message. This is from Nathaniel. He sent us a poem and there's two poems, one that was written by you and one that was written by him.

And we're going to read them both. So, Tom, why don't you read both of these poems? Yes. And Nathaniel was kind enough to share his work. And we kind of had a little exchange. It was very kind of you. Thank you. So he wrote Women of Islam.

They live in shadows, told they're free, not by birth, though by decree, brought into this world, prescribed a cut to live a life, to live in a rut. Many tell us this isn't torture. We mustn't offend. It's purely culture. Covered in garbs from head to toe, if they allure, the hereafter they go. Caught in an act not of their intention, buried in stone, a horrific invention. To be treated as such, as a slave, commanded each day, behave, behave. To be created as such, worth half a man, told each day, it's told each day it's a plan it's a plan

can this be normal is this humane if this is so what is there to gain how is this accepted why ignored it must be effaced it we must move forward so uh nathaniel thank you very much and that reminded me of something i had written a long time ago so we had a little exchange and the the piece that i had written a long time ago was actually based on a news story that we had read. The title of his home recipe for Sharia justice in a small atoll makes a smaller framed girl no older than 15 with distillate of fear. Choose one lean sunbaked season with isolation. Trust the legs, the arms, pin back the head,

carefully stuff a filthy rag in her mouth, stab repeatedly, allow the shame to marinate, penetrate the bone, separate from family, pull out, let soak for three years, whip until murdered. So, uh, that's a delightful fucking exchange, right?

Man. Jesus Christ, Tom. It's sort of the fun when poets get together. This is why poets commit suicide with regularity. Right? Hey, I wrote something depressing. Have you written anything depressing? Well, yes, I have. Let's exchange depressing shit.

Wow. You people suck. We're horrible. That's all I'm saying. But thankful. Thank you. Thank you, Nathaniel. We got a message.

This is from Matthew. And he says, he has a question. He said, this morning, I thought of a question to ask your listeners, a lot of who have read the Bible and some who are believers too. Does God actually do anything nice in the First Testament? So the new I guess the very beginning of the Bible, the Old Testament. Does he do anything nice? And so I don't know. I think maybe some people could rationalize that the creation is nice.

Although I guess, you know, maybe maybe the only thing I can think of is maybe leading the slaves out of Egypt. I think the only nice things he can do is if he's hurting someone else though. In that case, he killed all the people. Killed all of Egypt, but Egypt didn't notice in any of their histories. Right. But they all died. They did all die. But no one wrote it down because they were all dead.

That's because they were all dead, Tom. Duh. I don't know why I didn't think of that. It's because they were all dead, Tom. Duh. I don't know why I didn't think of that. We got a message from Diego, and Diego said that he found us through the Thinking Atheist, and he's really happy that he found us, and he laughs a lot, and he thinks it's great. And he also says, this mail is only to thank you and wishing you best of luck.

I apologize if this letter is poorly written with horrible mistakes. I'm from Chile, and English is not my native language. Jesus Christ, he writes better than I do. I know. This is somebody apologizing for speaking more than one language. I like to think I speak half of one language. I don't speak it. I speak half poorly. Right. Yeah. Never apologize for

doing something twice as good as I'm doing it. That's amazing. It's awesome. Great. Thanks for listening, Diego. And I'm glad somebody from Chile. That's awesome. We did have a Chile listener, a woman, I believe. Or maybe she was from Peru. I don't remember. I don't recall. I think they're the same country.

I'm always amazed when we get listeners. They are not the same country. They're the same. Aren't they all Machu Picchu? No, they're all America, Tom. Whatever. We got a message. This is from The Frozen Atheist. And he sent us a message. This is from the Frozen Atheist.

And he sent us a message. This is from Family Guy. And it's about glory holes. And it's fucking amazing. And I'm going to take it. So this is great. This is from Family Guy. In place of glory, we will be showing Shaft, starring Richard Roundtree.

What? You can't just shove Shaft in a glory hole. Yeah, I know. It would be better to put in that movie about the two girls who meet Nixon. What's that movie called? Dick? Dick would slide right into that glory hole. No, no, Dick's too short for that glory hole. But if you also put in Edward Furlong's movie, Pecker, you got Pecker

and Dick in a glory hole, and you got a tight squeeze, but it ought to fit. That's great. Sometimes that guy comes up with some really great shit, and that's an example. That's amazing. Missed a joke. This was talking about Pat Robertson saying, Buddhism will infect you. This thing about Buddhism infecting you.

And this is from William, and William says, Buddhism segment, you missed the perfect opportunity to joke. You might catch the Kung flu. That's great. I love it. The Kung flu is so awesome. Thank you for sending that in william that's amazeballs perfect joke love it uh we're gonna close out the show this week now next show is gonna be a midweek show and we're gonna try something and it may or may not work so this may

or may not be part of it so we'll see um but we are going to uh we're gonna try to put out a show where we cover fewer stories or no stories, depending on how long this portion is. And we just go over voicemails of people who said that they had some sort of some sort of interaction when they prayed. And so we're going to go over the voicemails and then talk about these voicemails back and forth. And then we're also going to read some of the things that people sent in specifically about prayer. So we're going to sort of cover a voicemail slash uh email show that's going to be next time um but this time before we end um this is from evan and evan wanted to say not only were we mispronouncing kat bular which is spelled kat bular um i don't think we're mispronouncing yeah i think he's i

think you're mispronouncing yeah he also translated the uh the skeptics creed into swedish so this is evan reading the skeptics creed in swedish it's hilarious and then we're going to leave you with his version of the skeptics creed and uh and we'll see you next time god trogan hat erinte in dygd des Dess likokaka för mammafrågor hypnobabblan skitsnack. Formulerade i Scientician för dubbla bubblamåda och trubel

låtsat quasi-alternativa akupunktera tryck, stereogram, pyramidisk frienergiläckning, vattnas nedåtgående spiral, hjärnslöst. Uttryckslöst. Själargument.

Sinnåt infod och underhållning. Leo. Fiskarna. Cancerkurv. Detox. Reflex. Fottmassage. Dödoktor.

Terokort. Psykiska läckning. Krystalbolar. Storfot. Jätti. Främlingar. Kyrkor. Moskor. Moskor och synagoger, tempeldräkor, jättemoskor, Atlantis, delfiner, sänningare, födlare, häxor, trollkallar, vaccinötter, kärmenläckare, evangelister, konspiration, tvättidigstigmata, nonsens. Conspiracy, 20-day stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Put your hands in the blood. Prove your worth. Do you want this too? The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music