Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 221: Indiana Rich!

Episode Date: April 20, 2015

  Reasoncon:    

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Good afternoon, Tom and Cecil. This is Ayami from Tokyo. I just listened to the episode about the Tony and Nicklson travesty. And I just want to say that, if it were me, I'd rather be in a gulag than a hospice. All I'd have to do is inhale the God and they'd shoot me. I'm going to hospice. All I have to do is inside the garden, they shoot me.

I'd be dead in 10 milliseconds instead of 10 days after starving myself. Thanks. Bye. Hey, so I'm just like driving my car right now, listening to your podcast. And I drove by something, and I don't really know why I just called you, but I just did. But it was just kind of strange to get to just observing that. When somebody dies in a car accident, you just drove by like a little cross on the side of the road, and it's got flowers on it. And I'm wondering, like, why don't fucking Jews or Muslims ever fucking do that? Like, when was the last time you

ever drove by on the side of the road or under the fucking bridge, and you got a little fucking Star of David hanging from fucking flowers or, like, fucking crescent moon and, like, little fucking stars or whatever next to it? You know what I mean? It's just, it's always a fucking cross,

and come to think of it, it's just fucking creepy. Like, here I am driving home after work thinking, I'm gonna have a great fucking day today. Work went well. And here's like, oh, somebody died here, by the way. They just died right here. It's kind of fucking creepy. Like, this is not where I want to get into an accident because I might also die.

Like, this place is just, like, where apparently people fucking die. And, oh, yeah, here's some flowers for you not to think about the fact that somebody just fucking died here. I don't know. It's just kind of fucking creepy. I just fucking thought I'd call and share that glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Distance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way.

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 221. Did you redo the notes, by the way? I did. I know you did. Because I did these notes.

Here's the thing. I sat doing these notes in a shitty hotel bar like I was traveling for work. Oh, that's nice. Did you see any bar flies? Dude, let's talk about shitty fucking hotel bars for sure sure let's do it there is nothing more like road depressing oh god sitting in like oh like an obvious corporate hotel right like uh yeah like a like a marriott chain hotel like a hampton inn or something yeah i was like a fairfield inn and suite yeah right right yeah anything with in right if you have an in after it you're you're a business guy that's exactly and it's like it's like it's fine enough and everything's like a half suite or whatever

you know it's a business hotel and there's a bit there's a fucking hotel bar and so i i drove down to columbus ohio i got there late so it's like plus you'll lose an hour when you get there so it's like fake late you you know one could argue that when you go to columbus you lose a lot of hours you lose and i'll tell you where you lose them you lose them in indiana because indiana smells like wet mulch it does hundreds of miles i'm driving through indiana at one point i was like god it's like it's like you're using a fucking cow's ass for a respirator. I thought I'd been in the car a long time by myself and I'm like, maybe I've brewed a funk. And I rolled down my window and I'm like, oh God, it's coming from outside the car.

I was blaming myself. So Indiana had a scent of fat man body odor. Oh yeah. That was drifting in. It's a delicious smell. Oh God a fucking that's why people that's why people fucking scarf down chick-fil-a over there it's just you just drown your unhappiness and trans fats yeah and say you're so you're i'm drowning myself in crisco tonight, dear. Six months in the fucking rural towns of Indiana, and you're fucking crying lard at night when you sleep. You try to wipe your tears, and all it does is smear across your cheeks.

The good thing is, though, if you're doing any kind of exercises, you just slide right across that mat. Nobody exercises in Indiana. That is just saying. That's not even ever happened. Okay. Let me say, when you climb the stairs to get another beer. The stair. The stair.

So anyway, you were talking about. So you get to. So anyway, so like I'm sitting in this hotel bar because I got to eat something. I got to drink something. Right. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like 10 o'clock. So it's like fucking lonely time. You know, it's like yeah. And it's like 10 o'clock. So it's like fucking lonely time. You know, it's like Monday night, 10 o'clock in a hotel bar. Fucking sad trombone time, right? Sure, yeah, yeah. And it's like just like fucking middle-aged, like road warrior dudes,

like trying half-heartedly, like the most half-hearted hitting on of the fucking barkeep. And I'm just like, this is the saddest thing i've ever seen this is so sad because you know it's not gonna work and she knows it's not gonna work but you're doing it anyway and like like and then the other guy is like sitting in the fucking like i'm obviously in sales because i take up all the room possible like i stretch like my arms across

like two stools and like like look what a big dude i am you can tell by my body language that i'm very fucking important i take up a lot of space right yeah and the other and so so like the one dude is like half-heartedly hitting on the barkeep she's like yeah i don't care she's like oh please leave me a tip right she's like i hope somebody walks me to my car you know like, like, it was like that. You know? And then. I press the button under the bar.

Right. Exactly. Right. And then the other dude's like, I'm being fucking swagger all day. And he's like, what time do you guys close? And she's like, we can't close until everybody leaves. And he's like, well, I'm going to sit here for two more hours. And I'm just like, well, that makes you fucking rude.

Like, it just makes you a fucking awful human being so i was doing the notes sitting in this bar and i i remembered fucking up the the notes last time the numbering yeah oh yeah yeah yeah so i knew that i numbered them right sure because i was fucking crying my own lard tears in the fucking sad hotel. Your face was slick with lard. So when I went back to revisit the notes and add a few more stories and I saw that they were renamed, I saw that you fucking

tried to trick me, you sneaky bastard. You can't pull one over on the old tomster. Well, you mostly can, actually. So this story comes from the Raw Story. Atheists slam school nurse for refusing to treat student who won't stand for Pledge of Allegiance. I take issue with this headline. It should just be

school nurse refuses to treat student who won't stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah. Who gives a shit that the atheists are slamming? That's not the story. Yeah. The story here is that the fucking little girl went to the goddamn school nurse

and the Pledge of Allegiance came on and she didn't stand. And the nurse fucking booted her ass out. Yeah. Refused to fucking treat her. I don't care if she was there for a fucking skinned knee or a fucking headache and wanted a Tylenol. Makes no fucking difference how minor the grievance was that the student had that the nurse had to treat. The fact that the nurse would even fucking get involved is egregious. Absolutely.

Yeah. And I think the nurse afterwards said this. Can I gladly stand up next to you as it may hurt still today? Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land. That's the real pledge. And then she fucking like, she dropped the mic on the way out. She dropped the mic right on the little girl. Right on her head. She actually hit the little girl with the mic.

Like she went out of her way to smack her head. She actually hit the little girl with the mic. She went out of her way to smack her one. Why do we have to say a Pledge of Allegiance anyway? Is America like a jealous boyfriend? Dude, that whole like... Every time you visit another country, America's like, You're cheating on Uncle Sam! Do you know where Canada is?

Yeah, I'm not... Why you... You can't look at Canada. Why do you hate America? is? Yeah, I'm not. Why you can't look at Canada? Why do you hate America? Yeah. What? No fishing up there. Set your hooks in American fish.

Like, OK. God. All right. Why do we say the pledge? Really? No, I mean, like, really? Like, why do we say a pledge of allegiance? Dude, I'm right there with you.

That's a weird, hyper-nationalistic thing that only fucking America does. And it's weird, too, because, like, I don't say a pledge of allegiance at work like why do little kids say it are we i'm like are we afraid like fucking recruiters from another country are going to take them away what the why do we make our kids say it other than brainwashing them yeah that well that's exact you know america does some weird see so like and I guess I didn't know this until relatively recently, but like America does some weird America shit, man. Like the whole thing where like it's really common to just drive around and see American flags in people's front yards. Yeah. That's not the case in the rest of the world.

They don't – like random citizens don't just fly their national flag in their front yard. That's a really uniquely American phenomenon. Yeah. They don't like random citizens don't just fly their national flag in their front yard. That's a really uniquely American phenomenon. Yeah. I didn't know that. I just assumed. I don't know. I guess I never even thought about it.

I just figured like everybody was crazy, hyper nationalistic. But, you know, this this like this that Pledge of Allegiance where I totally it creeps me out that my kid goes to school and says the pledge every day it kind of creeps me out that i went to school and said the pledge every day like you stood up with your hand over your heart and you said i remember too because i remember in saying it in first and second and third and you didn't you didn't even know what it meant you're like yeah invisible because you don't even know what the word can't even say it right you're just like one nation invisible and you're like you don't even know what the word invisible is. Because you can't even say it. Right. You're just like, one nation, invisible. And you're like, you don't have any idea what indivisible means or like why you're saying the words you're saying. I could understand like an adult saying the pledge in some, I don't even know, like if you're fucking, you become an American citizen or something.

In a naturalization process. Yeah, like I can see somebody saying it in certain – I mean some really corner case situations. But hypernationalism, where the fuck does that lead you? Like what great road does that lead you down? Well, I mean think of all the other like major hypernationalistic movements that have led to such great things. As starving your entire countryside right actually i can't think of a single six million people right well i mean look at it's worked super well for north korea yeah they're killing it man but that's all like embedded

in the same you know it is embedded in the same like lee greenwood pledge of allegiance american flag like fucking fillet the troops you know like all that that's all embedded in this same kind of you know and it feels to me part of it feels to me like a hyper reactionary push back to the Vietnam era

you know like the pendulum has swung I know exactly what you're talking about so like at one point it was like america's horrible spit on the soldiers and fucking burn a flag right like just you know and then now the pendulum has swung the other way and now it's at the point where you like if you walk around you're not just like i love america yeah somebody give me some soldier cocktail gobble gobble gobble gobble well like like you're on a plane and there's a soldier in a fucking uniform and he gets to leave first right like why he's a dude who does a job like the rest of us and and everybody's supposed you're supposed to thank him for his you know their

service you gotta thank him you gotta thank him for their service why fucking nobody thanks me for my service well you're not of any fucking use yeah that's true you know you know i i mean i i don't want to be i don't want to come down too hard because i i it's not that i don't like america it's not like i don't like living in the united states i like living in the united states i think there's plenty of benefits to living in the united states i i don't dislike soldiers i think they do a job i do i think it's a particularly particularly it's not a particularly safe job. And they put themselves in situations that are difficult and not saying that they're fighting for me because I certainly don't fucking want them fighting things. But, you know, they are doing things that the country tells them to do.

So in that respect, you know, good for them. And I'm not but I'm not going to fillet them. I'm not going to be like, oh, oh my god fucking thank you for fighting for my freedom i was driving behind a car the other day and it was like you know there was like it was like slathered with banners or bumper stickers you know like my son fights for your freedom and it's just like my freedom is never fucking at stake here and and please again don't get me wrong like the soldiers on an individual basis that sign up and they get shipped off and they're not the decision makers they're not deciding where they go and who they shoot at and who they get shot at by they're doing hard work and and i think oftentimes they do very difficult dangerous work for motives that are generally, at least at the outset, good motives.

And here's the worst part about all that is they come back and all this fucking hand jobs we give them about getting off the plane early. Have them go to a fucking doctor once in a while. Yeah, I know. Like fucking medical service. Like we do all this fucking weird glad handing, like fucking you get 10% off on your fucking Chick-fil-A. But then when we want to fucking, when they want to get an MRI, they got to wait, like, 60 weeks or something. And that's the thing. Like, it makes me crazy.

Like, let's cut out the fucking hero worship shit and let's recognize that sending young men and women off to war results in people who went to fucking war. And they all come back. results in people who went to fucking war and they all come back every single person who comes back having done some fucking done and seen some awful shit like they need to come back and they need to have you know solid forever mental health services and they need to have job placement services and you have educational services and they need to have fucking, you know, their physical health taken care of. Instead, we like we're lip servicing, you know, and it is fly show, man. It's it's fucking meaningless. It's like it's obligatory, lazy, toothless blowjobs.

Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others. So the story comes also from the raw story. I'm sorry that it's all from the raw story. That's okay because you were just, you know, look, i understand you were in a hotel bar trying to hit

on some bar fly you wanted to get things done real quick so you just copy pasted the entire raw story i just did i grabbed the whole thing and just uh walmart uses georgia conscience clause to refuse woman's miscarriage treatment yeah um man this is fucking super depressing so this woman was having a miscarriage and she got a prescription from her doctor for a medicine and it turns out that that is a similar medicine or the same medicine well it's a medicine if used in conjunction with another medicine can be used as like the day after thing or something right so she went to go fill her prescription and the pharmacist said yeah i don't think you need this i don't think that there is a reason why you need it so we're just not going to fill your prescription and i i was appalled

yeah appalled and i posted it to our facebook page and i said something like you know i can't believe that the pharmacist would second guess the doctor but i guess that's a thing cecil wow i guess pharmacists have and i had no idea this is just an educational moment for me i guess pharmacists can second guess whether or not it's a good prescription for you to have well your first your doctor's like i think you should have this medicine and then you go fill it and the pharmacist can be like that's not a good medicine for you it interacts with this other medicine or. But they specifically said that the person did this because of the Georgia law or whatever that says if you feel like it would, you know, be bad for your conscience, violate your conscience, then you shouldn't. But I had no idea that pharmacists had that discretion at all.

I'll be honest. I thought they were just the keeper of the fucking pills. No, they have to go to like a lot of school. Well, I knew that because, but I figured that was because people would have questions and, but I didn't know that they could say, no, I don't think this is a medicine for you. Well, and you know, Walmarts in Georgia, I hear also replaced all the regular coat hangers with the clippy plastic ones because it's really hard to get a fetus out with one of those clippy plastic ones you know with the ones with the little clipper things on the end yeah no actually the wire ones are now by

prescription only yeah it's like well it's like winning the crane game with one of those things trying to get to actually get the fucking fetus you gotta hope that they're like artificially inseminated with like eight so you actually get one for your quarter. I've been putting quarters in this thing all day! How am I going to... I can't get any out of here! And then you get the fetus and you're like, how do I get the quarters out?

I put two of these plastic, clippy fucking hangers together and I can't even get in there! Can you think of a more depressing situation than to start your morning in Georgia? All right. So you wake up and you're like. No, I mean, you're in Georgia.

Yeah, no, I get it. Fucking hell, I'm in Georgia. Yeah, right. And then you go to. Shit, the devil's across from you playing a violin. He's like fucking fiddling away. And he got to go, not you again. Hang on a minute. He's going to town on that thing. Look at him to go, not you again. Hang on a minute.

He's going to town on that thing. Look at him go. Here, listen to this Lee Greenwood song. I'll be back in a half hour. Then we can fiddle with each other or whatever. I just had a miscarriage. Double, listen to this. And I gladly stand up next to you.

And it meant her still today. God, I hate that song so much. It's all fucking Muzak, too, if you listen to it. Like, nothing is... It's all fucking, like... It's made on, like, a fucking Casio. Like, that's how he made that song. I think, though, that we should replace the Pledge of Allegiance with that song. Like, if we're just gonna...

Every kid has to stand up. Next to you. So, anyway, so we're just going to... Every kid has to stand up. Next to you. So, anyway, so we're talking about the devil in Georgia. Yeah, so you wake up and you're like, oh, fuck, I'm in Georgia. That sucks. The devil wants to fiddle at me. And then you're like,

I got to go get my fucking miscarriage medicine. Right, because... Because it's also soda. And then you go to Walmart for it. So now, hold on a minute. Now then you go to Walmart for it. So now, hold on a minute. Now you're in a Walmart in Georgia. It's like the seventh level of hell at that point.

I'd rather be in a Culver's in Milwaukee. Are you kidding me? And I don't even know. It's not that bad. I don't know like i'm not sure like if you have to race your rascal scooter around yeah you do it's like it's like mario kart and you just throw like bananas at people and like turtle shells because they literally have turtle shells there that you could throw at people a walmart in georgia after having a miscarriage what the fuck every part of you must scream at

this point yeah i have seriously i must reconsider all of my life choices you know a walmart after a miscarriage that sounds like a lot of country songs actually now i'm thinking about it if you drove there in a pickup truck oh yeah then it's definitely a country i mean yeah and then the pharmacist is like no no we're not yeah you didn't even get turned down by like a real pharmacist like a walmart pharmacist and they're like yeah we fucking rolled back that medicine so it just and it's instead like by the way where that should be there's just like a fucking sad judgy face yeah Yeah. So. So. So we roll back the medicine.

So you got to roll back that baby. You see, there are demons in the earth. Read Matthew Mark's Gospel, chapter five. There are demons all over where. And Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth. Sister, it comes from right wing watch Herman Cain's website. Demon possessed gays need exorcisms. Can I just say, when you read the text of this, the very best part is when he fucking, he goes out of his way to say, and yes, Right Wing Watch.

I mean, demonic. I know. Like, he knows who's going to read it and commentate on it. Yeah, I mean, he knows he's going to get, get like he knows who's watching and what they think is crazy. And he's still like, yep, it doesn't even care. Yeah. No, it's just straight crazy. He says, since the Bible says homosexuality is an abomination in the sight of God, yet many people obviously feel homosexual urges.

How do you square the two facts? You square them the same way you square any person's desire for sin, Cecil. The person who craves heroin or alcohol or unhealthy quantities of food or to hurt other people, these are all the desires of the flesh that are in opposition to God's will for your life. The driving force behind all sin is spiritual, and this is the, and yes, right-wing watch, I mean demonic. It's demonic.

And the cure for it is deliverance by the authority of Jesus Christ. And then he goes through telling you, like, how does it work? You got to get a fucking deliverance minister. Yeah. Well, to comment on the beauty of your mouth or what? Yeah. The deliverance minister sort of leans you over a rock. You know, this is a presidential candidate.

That's, I know. This is a guy who was a presidential candidate. Could you imagine if any of the presidential candidates, let's say Rand Paul walks in to an interview and says, look, I'm sorry, I was going to do this interview, but on my way here, a black cat walked in front of me

and I'm totally leery of my luck at this point. So I'm just going to go home. Is that okay? Like, wouldn't you think that he is crazy if he said that? Or if he said, or if somebody said, well, you know, I was doing so well and then I broke a mirror and, you know, now look at where I'm at or I'm not going to give interviews on Friday the 13th. I'm sorry.

I'm going to be unavailable that day or, you know, come to my fucking office on floor 14b you know whatever it is but just because it's a fucking demon everybody we're supposed to give this guy a fucking pass on this and he even acknowledges how crazy he sounds he says i don't think he believes in any spiritual world whatsoever nor do the people who will portray a commentary like this as odd, weird, crazy. When you're not intelligent or curious enough to understand something, you mock the whole idea of it. No, no, no, sir. You misunderstand. You're just saying shit with no evidence whatsoever that there is anything.

That sin is real, that your God is real, that this demonic spiritual realm is real. You just decided it. You just decided it. And then you say it. And you say, well, anybody who makes fun of it is being a mean, mean duty head. Or they're not smart enough to understand this fucking made-up fairytale world that I've decided is the reason that people are gay or eat too much or shoot heroin. Like that's that's your worldview. That's how you're going to approach.

Think about what that means for how somebody like this would approach problem solving. Yeah. Right. Or the world. And that's your job. You are the problem solver. Right. That's it.

Hey, man. You know, Putin seems to have some fucking land grab action going on. Huh. What should we do about that? Is there any way we could get a deliverance minister in here to give me some guidance on this? I'm just, you know, I'm just kind of feeling some evil spirits from Putin here. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts.

If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash dissonance pod or click the link on the podcast home page and you can donate to the production of cognitive dissonance on a per episode basis if you can't spare any money take a second to give us a five

star review on itunes or stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story comes from ThinkProgress. Islamic extremists have seized control of U.S. cities, says an NRA seminar. It's true. Yeah. They have seized control of one U.S. city, Washington, D.C. Thanks, Obama.

That was great. That was awesome. I love the photo that they use of all the fucking NRA dudes because it's a fucking sausage fest. Like, ain't no ever been a sausage fest. They're all holding hands? Yeah. They're all holding hands and fucking praying at the NRA

rally. And you're just like, man, this is why America sucks. Like, this is why, this is why countries outside of the States, this is how they see us. This is embarrassing. Yeah. This is, this is genuinely an embarrassment to the rest of us. We're like, yeah, we're not all like this. We're not all a bunch of fucking fat, gun-toting, fucking hate-filled homophobes like hanging, holding hands in a fucking convention center and salivating over our firearms.

And this sort of Islamic extremist nonsense have seized control of U.S. cities. They're talking about no-go zones. All this is – can you not see that they're doing this so that you buy more guns? Says the gun lobby that brought you there? It's such an obvious ploy to just sell guns though. It's a marketing campaign. I know. Fear is a marketing campaign. I know. Fear is a marketing campaign.

And this idea. So what they're saying is the NRA is, you know, they're gathering their annual meeting and they're saying that that across the country there are no go zones where even the police. The story this guy tells is so obviously apocryphal. where even the police, the story this guy tells is so obviously apocryphal. The story he tells is a story about a Detroit SWAT team driving to Dearborn, Michigan, which doesn't even make sense. Why would a Detroit SWAT team go to Dearborn, Michigan? They would have no jurisdiction outside of Detroit, Michigan. And he's driving and he pulls up to like the, the, this, this fake Islamic zone where the street signs suddenly turn

all Arabic and, uh, there's, there's no English anywhere. And there's little yellow signs posted. And the guy driving the van says, we don't go past here because it's a no-go zone. It's controlled by Islamic extremists. This is not a real thing. The story so obviously doesn't add up. It's nonsense. There are no no-go zones or Islamic extremist cities. There are no mini Sharia law huts that are being assembled across america

to take your freedom but if they tell you that and you believe that and you think that my gosh america is under constant threat you're gonna buy more guns well the the the idea that it's that there would be you know these street signs where there's fucking no English and stuff, that's clearly xenophobic. There's this clearly sort of xenophobic trend that goes through here that they're going to come over here and they're going to turn our country into their country, which is never going to fucking happen. It's never going to happen. But this type of gun sale really does, I think, lead to what the NRA wants and promotes. And what the NRA wants and promotes, they want to make sure that they scare enough people who live in, you know, perfectly fucking fine neighborhoods where they're in very little danger, if at all, ever.

And they want to scare them into thinking that around every corner, around every dark alley, around your house at night are these people prowling, fucking savages with knives in their teeth ready to fucking rape and decapitate the head off of your daughter and whatever it is to do some crazy shit to you and steal whatever it is that you have and you've got to be armed to defend yourself. And this is exactly it, right? This is it. Not only do they want to try to get those people to buy guns, but then they also want to get other people who, you know, maybe they live in an affluent neighborhood where they're never going to see this, but, you know, this is something that they could be afraid of. Well, let's get another thing that they can be afraid of

to try to make sure that we can sell these guns to them. another thing that they can be afraid of to try to make sure that we can sell these guns to them. And it's just this, you know, it's this buy more guns, buy more guns. But the real crime that happens with guns in this country is poverty on poverty crime, which has nothing to do with gun ownership in the sense that gun ownership isn't going to save you from that crime. Gun ownership is really just going to get you killed. That's all it's going to do. So no matter how much they were to market this to the people in the areas of Chicago that are fucking, you know, completely fucking gun zones, like fucking parts of Chicago they call Chi-Rac, those places in Chicago, you're not going to market guns to those people because they've already got all the guns. Right. And it's not helping anything.

It's not fucking solving anything. The murders that happen in this country because of guns. Once in a while, a toddler gets into fucking somebody's safe. Once in a while, somebody brings a fucking gun to a school and shoot somebody. But the fucking majority of these things are minorities and poor people shooting each other. When I was driving through Indiana the other day, I was driving and there were signs for the fucking prepper show. Like a boat and RV show, but for fucking doomsday preppers. Shut the fuck up. Really?

Yes. for fucking because it's like and and there there can be no more obvious attempt to exploit fear than a doomsday prepper convention or or trade show the whole thing exists to prey very specifically on the irrational fears of end times nuts. And this is, it's like the NRA here is saying like, well, if the end times aren't coming fast enough for you, if you're not scared enough, here's some more shit to be afraid of. Buy more guns.

Fucking constantly bristle with guns. Have guns pointing from your person in every direction at all times. Mechanize your body with guns. Have guns pointing from your person in every direction at all times. Mechanize your body with guns. Fucking ejaculate guns into your wife at night. Just constantly be having guns. In nine months, you'll give birth to a semi-automatic. Right. Like, we have invented guns that shoot smaller guns out of them. That's all that they they because this is the same

people that oppose trigger locks and like that oppose you know like a gun registry or you know background checks or they oppose anything that means they sell less guns it'd be like asking coca-cola like what do you think should we sell more coca-cola i'd be like well fucking i think we should because i'm coca-cola the point is is that we've got to rewrite the federal government now this is not going to happen overnight it took 130 years to bring us to where we are today it could probably take 50 years to turn it around if But if we stand on the Constitution, then everything else comes together. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Bob Vanderplats.

Really? Bob Vanderplats? That's amazing. That's amazing. I love that he has two A's in his last name there. The Plots is awesome. With a last name of vonderplotz

and then they're just like we'll go bob this is bob oh i gotta tell you too i know i keep talking about this weird road trip i took but it was weird so i'm driving through indiana to ohio right i don't remember where i saw this if it was on the border or whatever there's an rv place cecil and it's enormous it's fucking enormous it says like 65 acres of RVs and it's got like billboard after billboard after billboard after billboard. And it's called Tom Raper RV. And like two thoughts occur to me simultaneously. The first is like if my last name is raper maybe it's just tom's rvs or maybe i come up with another you know like rv world you know like maybe i'm not maybe i'm not

like i don't market my name what's your name my name is is Raper. Like, wow. Wow. So I'm driving past. And then the next thing I thought was like, well, wait a minute, because I know that some surnames derive from some historical context about who your family was. Like, oh, well, I'm the Johnson. Oh, because, you know, I'm the son of John and I'm the Smiths because we're blacksmiths. And well, we're the rapers because we're rapers. It is something you're going to want to change eventually. That is the worst.

But he's clearly spectacularly successful. Oh, yeah. He's got a whole fucking yard full of RVs. That's how you measure success in Indiana. Like how many mobile housing units do you own? That's Indiana success. I'm Indiana rich, boys. Let me drive my house on over.

Let's fill up the old homestead and zip on over. Yeah! No, no, no. We'll come over tonight. The whole family will come over. We're having a dinner party in my car. Indiana. Bob Wunderplotzen. Wunderplatsen.

Vanderplatsen. Vanderplatsen. Warns of divine retribution for Wiccan prayer in Iowa State Capitol. Yes, he does. He's speaking at a podium that says the family leader on it. So this is him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Leader. Leader. at a podium that says the family leader on it so this is him leader leader if you're 25 years old or older you know specifically where you were at when the world trade towers were were attacked on 9-11 when the first one got hit you may have heard about you may have heard a news report about it

but all of a sudden you rushed to a tv and by the time you got to a tv you saw the second trade center get hit and you knew that our country was now under attack and they attacked the very pillars which make america exceptional no they didn't no they attacked buildings that is true it's fucking there wasn't there was literally nothing exceptional about the weird, there were fucking two big blocks. Like, a kid with a lot of Legos could make a replica. And it wouldn't even be hard. Like, a particularly stupid kid could do it.

These are just rectangles. Right. They're just fucking rectangles. I mean, yeah, they're engineering marvels. Every skyscraper is an engineering marvel. Yeah, I mean. I mean, come on. This is not a symbolic.

Like, they didn't, it's not like they fucking flew an airplane simultaneously into every fucking bald eagle in America. It's not like. It's a coordinated attack. It's not like all of a sudden they showed up at Lee Greenwood's house. Yeah. Because that would be an outrageous. That would be outrageous.

If they did show up to Lee Greenwood's house, though. Can I gladly stand up next to you? just if they did show if they did show up to lee greenwood's house though all right that's enough that's so bad man yeah no they and they didn't they didn't like they didn't fill the grand canyon with DC-10s, you know? Yeah. Right. Yeah, it's not like all of a sudden, like, from across the country, you heard the simultaneous opening of every hotel drawer in America as the fucking Gideon Bibles were chucked out of windows. No, I mean, it was a horrible, horrifying attack. It was a terrorist attack. That mean they it was it was a horrible horrifying attack sure terrorist attack that's what it was but it was not an attack on the very things that are america they didn't i mean come on they

didn't blow up our wealthy people oh it's actually i would say actually a lot of them probably did for the first time in my lifetime had the opportunity to feel what's what's it like to be attacked on our soil because usually we attack them on their soil we're sending people to explode shit over there man turns out and you know like the thing is like fucking i don't want to get the email be like fucking well that doesn't justify it you're right it doesn't justify it i'm not fucking saying that we're making it don't fucking stop typing and if you were like me and you happened to travel the state or maybe you just traveled the county or mount pleasant or your community or across the country what you would have noticed is there was red white and blue everywhere there was flags out front of the porches flags there's There's flugs. Flugs. Flugs. He can pronounce his last name pretty well, but the flag is phrased like flugs.

Yes, hello, I would like to purchase one of your American flugs. I would like one of your American flug togs. You see, I'm going to attach it to a Red Bull can and see how far off of the cliff I can. I'm going to jump in a fucking lake. Everywhere you went down the countryside, right here in Henry County, you would have saw flags and flags and flags. The only thing you would have recognized is the churches, the sanctuaries, the chapels. They were filled to overflow. they were filled to overflow.

And as a state leader at that time, suddenly he said, you know Bob, when you have nowhere else to run and nowhere else to hide, where do you go? You run back to God. You go back to church. Well now we're 2015,

almost 14 years later. And let me ask you a question. Where are we at today? Where have we gone? Because in September 2011, after the attack, you would have saw Republican and Democrat congressmen and women and senators on the Capitol steps, linked in in arms saying we're not Republicans, we're not Democrats, we're Americans. And they sang God bless America. God bless America.

Well, and he seems to be he seems to be fucking pulling up some nostalgia for a fucking immediately post 9-11 world, right? man you know it was great oh those those beautiful wondrous heady days immediately following the largest terrorist attack by a foreign organization on american soil god that was wonderful almost 14 years later where we at just this morning in the Iowa capital, which is totally within the religious liberty right, but you had a state representative invite someone to deliver a Wiccan prayer.

Now, you may say that's religious liberty, but I'd say you better be careful if you want to start mocking the God that you're asking to bless this country. That's a huge concern. Well, he fucking didn't do a very good job of it. He killed two. They were able to fucking kill 2000 people. No problem.

Yeah. God's God's blessing this country. But it seems to me like we still have to do all the work. You know, like, have you noticed that like we don't like god is you know uninvited and like all of the scandinavian countries they just hum along just fine no problem you know like canada's humming along and new zealand's humming along and australia's humming along and it's it's all going just swimmingly for them. They don't need this fucking invisible fucking wet blanket of God to fucking drape across the country. Because they just recognize that, man, if we want things to be better, we probably have to do the fucking work ourselves. And this story is this is a sad story.

It's from CNN.com. It's this is really one of those instances where you really have to side with the apologists and say, you know, this this had to have happened because of the American interventions. Right. Absolutely. and say, you know, this had to have happened because of the American interventions overseas. Right, absolutely. Italian police, Muslim migrants threw Christians overboard. Oh. Yeah. So this happens on the regular.

There's, you know, people trying to get to Europe in, you know, fucking shitty rafts and boats and, you know, what have you. And, you know, there's oftentimes horrible tragedies that occur. The boats sink and, you know, people fall off. They get sick. They get fucking stranded, drown, adrift, becalmed at sea. But, you know, scurvy. I don't know. All that shit.

Right. But sometimes it turns out you just get chucked overboard because you're not the right religion. Oh. Which is what happened in this story. Just fucking chuck them overboard. Killed them. Twelve people. My favorite line is it said that they stopped them. The Christians stopped them because they strongly opposed the drowning attempt and formed a human

chain and i just see like one guy with like a top hat and a monocle and he's like sir i vociferously and incontrovertibly object to you attempting to asphyxiate my colleagues and I shall have none of it, sir. Yeah, the first dozen go overboard. Yeah. Twelve times. I strongly oppose that. But you weren't convinced. No.

You know, initially you're like, maybe I had a point. Hold on, hold on. Don't interrupt muslims have the floor hey robert's rules of order robert's rules of order come on we are a civilized people okay now they've thrown a dozen of our people off you know now maybe now's the time where we take our stand let's see if we can object now. You would have taken a stronger stand with 12 more people. They had to politely ring a bell. They're like, wait, hold on a second. We're following all the protocol here.

You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. I can't even this next one. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. I can't even this next one. I can't. I really can't.

I know, man. What the fuck? Also from Right Wing Watch, Satan is using gay abortionists to attack humanity. Well, this is Gary Cass of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission, and this is his thing on YouTubes. We should never forget that our underlying war is against our fruitfulness. Think about it. Remember the first commandment, be fruitful and multiply.

That's what God told our first parents to do. So the war is against fruitfulness. If one of the central tactics of gay abortionists, now there isn't a phrase for you, for you has been to destroy the fruit of heterosexuality and to celebrate the fruitless deeds of darkness then we must take special care to continue to fight them on their insistence of a constitutional right to slaughter the unborn what the fuck are you talking about man it's not only gay people that want abortions. I don't think gay people need abortions. No, I think he's saying that gay people do the abortions. That the...

I know, I think that's what he's saying. Shut up, that's all he's saying. Yeah, he's saying that abortion doctors are gay. Are gay. Wait, what? And it's part of their evil plan to kill heterosexual babies or the babies of heterosexual parents in order to promote their no fruit yielding gayness. That's what he's saying. I swear to you, that is what he's saying.

I refuse to believe that's what he's saying. That is what he's saying. He thinks that I don don't i can't i just i just i i can't what difference would it make if the abortionists were gay would would would it make you they might do it with a certain flair right would you be like i wasn't going to have an abortion, but it looks fabulous. Fruitlessness is a religion and abortion is their bloody sacrament. Wow. That's very powerful. Did you hear that? The struggle is about fruitfulness. Are we surprised that Satan attacks humanity at the very core of their essence where the image of God resides to destroy them sexually, to destroy the fruit of their womb? I cannot get over the idea that it is 2015 and people think that there is a Satan.

Yeah. the idea that it is 2015 and people think that there is a satan yeah i mean i can i can still like a part of me is like okay i get i can i can understand maybe that there's people out there who think that there's a you know a god who maybe made all this stuff kind of happen right and i listen i so i i've been listening to more and more um like debates, atheist debates and what have you. And they always talk about God. They never bring up Satan because it's so patently absurd that they must recognize the intellectual side of the religious coin. They must recognize that to even bring it up is so obviously fucking ridiculous. even bring it up is so obviously fucking ridiculous because listen to how this guy sounds that there's like a fucking, there's a fucking boogeyman who's out there to, to, to give heterosexual couples abortions so that they don't have children.

What are you talking about? What are you saying? What are you talking about? What are you saying? So we want to thank Stephen and Ronnie for their generous donations on PayPal. Thanks, guys, so much for donating. They gave us very large one-time donations, and we're very appreciative. Thank you. So we want to thank our most current patrons,

Zach, Seth, Tobias, Shane, Kathy, Matthew, Bourbon Dan, Daniel, Daryl, Amit, Michael, Marty, and Jeffrey. Thank you all so much for your generous donations. Your donations go a long way to funding some of the things that we do. Specifically, we're going to ReasonCon next week. So we're going to have hopefully two shows next week. We see if we can do it i don't know if not we're going to have to put one off for a little while and maybe make it up some other time in the future uh it's going to be a very busy week next week we plan on getting down there on friday there will be one more show hopefully out between now and then uh so we might give you some more details but we will be at

reason con on friday we'll'll be leaving Sunday so if you're going to ReasonCon it's in North Carolina you can find the information on this episode this is episode 221 so you can find the information on this episode at DissonancePod.com we're looking forward to it and it should be a good time

and if you find us remember that you patrons out there you get a free hug so come find us we'll give you a hug oh man we got to give out hugs yeah but there's no patrons there i mean come that's true yeah that's true nobody once they see us they're not going to want to hug no no well i think if they give them the same room with us they're kind of hugging us it's like you can't be in the same room as both. What is it? How big is this hotel? It's enormous.

We got a bunch of messages about the loud noises when you're falling asleep. People were saying that it's it's this thing called exploding head syndrome. So tons of people send us messages about that. So thank you for I didn't know that that existed. And it's kind of a weird name for an awesome name, though. Yeah, I thought it's a people on weird name for it. It's an awesome name, though. Yeah. That's terrific. I thought the people on scanners had exploding head syndrome. They do.

They also, Running Man, it turns out, you had exploding head syndrome. Yeah, that's exploding head syndrome. Yeah, for sure. It can happen a number of ways. Tom, we got a message from David, and I wanted to read this part. He sent us a lot of different parts, a lot of different pieces, but I want to read this one in specific. He says, when I heard Pat Robertson say, I know sports are important, my immediate thought

was, no, they're not. Speaking to someone living in a city that has an annual riots over March Madness, regardless of the outcome, I say people need to calm the fuck down about sports. I know Cecil enjoys sports, which isn't something I'm opposed to, but a lot of people are insane about them. He says, but I find it inf to, but a lot of people are insane about them. He says, but I find it infuriating how much time and money are wasted on sports. And I, you know, I got to agree here. I know that sports are a great pastime for people.

They're a great pastime for children and a great pastime for adults. I think sports are fun entertainment. I watch three major sports. I watch UFC. I watch the basketball and I watch three major sports. I watch UFC. I watch the basketball and I watch, I watch football, but I understand completely where you're coming from here. And I, and I recognize that they're not important. Sports are the only thing sports really do. And this is for children and, you know, adults who play in, you know, like sporting leagues and stuff is they, they develop a sort of a sense of sportsmanship

and team play that I think might be important. But other than that, there's really no use. And that stuff can be done in fucking like gym class. We got a message from Bill from Barroom Atheist, and he said, I agree with you guys on everything except Chick-fil-A is delicious. They have perfected the chicken sandwich and serve waffle fries with cheese sauce. Yeah, that's awesome. I drove.

I actually considered stopping at a Chick-fil-A when I was in their vicinity recently, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really couldn't. I wanted to. I was like, maybe I'll try just to report back, but I can't see giving them my money. I honestly can't. I have a feeling one of the things that we should do and although there's not one close by you but there's one close enough one of the things that we should do is one day when we're at glory hole studios we should stop at the chick

filet that's i think it's in like fucking darien or something so it's on my way out i could pick it up and then you could go to the mcdonald's by you and get like mcchickens and then we can like fucking do a taste test okay yeah let's see what we do but i do that i don't know anyway um we got a message uh this is from andrew in massachusetts he runs the reddit well water drinkers so it's our well water drinkers we'll put a link to it on this episode show notes this is episode 221 and he says i'm making a post compiling a list of all your guest appearances for anyone who would like to listen to extra content to check out other great podcasts. So he's already got a bunch of these up here.

But if you remember any, I know I remembered a few, and there's a couple more. But one, if you want to find all our guest appearances, Andrew has gone through the trouble of putting that on the subreddit there. And then if you want to list any of our appearances that appearances that you, we might've missed, uh, go there and check it out. Um, and then if you want to post anything there, that's something that I actually does pop up into my Reddit feed. Cause I signed in on Reddit. So it'll pop up in my feed.

So on occasion, I will have a chance to interact with people that way. I saw this and I was amazed at the work and effort that you put into this. And I was also shocked at how many, uh, other shows we've wasted the time. God. And fucking incredulous like five

shows oh we are incredulous oh goodness gracious i mean i'm incredulous at how much we were yeah and i just want to mention too that since we've been on incredulous so much if you're a european patron and you go to qed andy wilson is a representative of us, and he can hug you. So he actually hugs by proxy. He's a hug by proxy. So we've done enough episodes of his show where he actually has these contractually obligated to hug people for us. If you've donated more than $20, he'll give you a handy. Yeah. Well, you know, the thing is, is if you donate any money, literally anything to him, he'll give you a hand.

So I got a message from Josh, and Josh says he's going to college for a bachelor's degree in programming in Java. And he wrote out a program for us called it's the Trinity. It's a basically a Trinity program that I don't I don't know. I mean, I just I think that the the joke is lost on me, but I will post the text of this on this episode's show notes. So if you want to check this out, it's the Trinity in Java. Go to this episode's show notes. And I do like that it spits out the output for the program, spits out errors. Yeah, that's nice.

And it strikes me as accurate. We got a message from Mike, and he said he loved our last show, and he recommended it to his girlfriend. But he said, you see, my girlfriend is an ex FLDS. And I couldn't help but wonder how your bit on the confrontation between the former member who had won custody of her children against some chicken wielding members went over. It was just a few years ago, after all, that she was intimidated into obeying every whim of the prophet. It was just a few years ago that she broke free and managed to bring some of her children with her. She still fights to keep her children. She does have, from being sucked back in by the efforts of those still in the cult, efforts which are often in direct violation of existing court orders. Those chicken-wielding, bonnet-wearing people were and are family to the woman who had

worked so hard to obtain her freedom and bring her children with her. The outpouring of directed hate and abuse that was visited on her at the behest of the prophet may look funny and ridiculous to an outsider, but I guarantee it was personal, extremely painful to the woman escaping. And some of your other listening audience who would have likewise escaped from a cultish insanity. The humor was, if not lost, at least greatly diminished by their emotional proximity. Well, Mike, here's the thing. Our show is about jokes and making fun of stuff. If that's something that your girlfriend's not going to like, then she shouldn't listen to the show. She shouldn't listen to the show.

I mean, there's really nothing else I can say about that except for if there are things in this show that you don't think we're handling correctly or if you don't think we're holding the particular amount of gravitas that you think we should, go find a show that does that for you. You may have noticed this show strikes a somewhat irreverent tone, and that is intentionally done. this show strikes a somewhat irreverent tone. And that is intentionally done. And because of the number of topics that we choose to tackle and the way that we choose to tackle those topics and the way that Cecil and I both think that humor is the way to deal with this sort of nonsense. There's going to be there at some point, you're going to have somebody who just left, you know, or the crazy Mormon cult or the crazy Scientology cult or some crazy Christian cult. You just can't have the show and still be sensitive to all of those.

So just consider the entire show a trigger warning. The entire show is a trigger warning at all times. We're preaching to the choir we're not preaching to the sensitive and the recently converted there are other shows that are going to be better shows for people whose sensitivities may still be a little bit raw tom we got a message from a guy by the name of matt who was talking about uh the poop and the butthole and the water yeah so this so this email is from Matt, and he says, Finally, poop, water, hand, butthole is as barbaric and disgusting as you hypothesized. Their logic is that it's all good if you wash your hands at the end.

Still couldn't pay me to self-bidet. What's worth noting is it is the exclusive privilege of the left hand to smear the Taco Bell lava around. Oh, God. Therefore, your poop hand is considered unclean. Go fucking figure. And it's considered super rude to touch anything with it, as in a bowl of chips or M&Ms or gems as they blasphemously refer to them.

Yeah, that's still so fucking horrifying that since I had another conversation before recording tonight. Because I cannot get over the idea of taking a shit and somebody handling me a fucking bottle of Evian and being like, clean yourself up. No, I need tools for this. We got a message too on Twitter where someone said, well, if you got poop from a diaper on your hand, would wiping it with a napkin be enough? And the fact is, is that, well, I don't use my ass to hold a sandwich. I don't stick my ice cream cone in my butthole while I'm waiting for it to melt. Like I hold things in my hand. So my hands need to be necessarily clean. But if I go to the bathroom and I walk in there and I say, okay, I got to shit.

I shit. I got fucking stinky poop all over my butt. I've got to wipe it off some way. I could either use my hand in a cup of water, which seems really fucking inconvenient, or I can wipe the fucking wet poop out of there they'll still be a little dry poop in there but nobody's

stuffing a nose in my crack nobody's gonna smell that poop it's fucking poop that no one smells so until I take a shower later that day it is also the case that you would necessarily have shit under your fingernails. You're not getting around that. And I don't buy this left hand, right hand dichotomy because at some point you fucking have to pass things between hands. Also, I frequently eat foods that require both of my hands to hold.

Frequently. both of my hands to hold. Frequently. You know, the other thing, too, is if you've ever three-staged breaded anything, they say to have a wet hand and a dry hand. And no matter what, at the end of three-stage breading anything, I look like the thing. I've got fucking

shit all over both hands. So don't tell me there's a left hand and a right hand, a wet hand and a dry hand, because that ain't happening. We got a message. This is from Robert, and he says, just a little rant. I heard your little rant about Chick-fil-A. I'm a very staunch atheist, but I cannot keep my face hole out of that place of business to save my life.

It is seriously not just a chicken sandwich. The chicken sandwich is soaked in pickle juice and deep fried in peanut oil served with a side of... You know, I'll take the crack cocaine that he says. I'd rather just have the crack... Because you could not make me more sick than to say a fucking chicken sandwich soaked in pickle juice. I would rather eat a fucking earthworm slider.

That sounds disgusting. Well, you hate pickles. Oh, God, that sounds awful. It sounds absolutely horrid. See, you hate pickles. Oh, God, that sounds awful. It sounds absolutely horrid. See, I love pickles. I don't know that I want my chicken soaked in pickle juice. That doesn't necessarily appeal, but I guess what I'm saying is. So can I not have it without a pickle?

Because I order everything without a pickle. I think that he's suggesting that maybe the chicken itself is marinated in pickle juice. That sounds absolutely horrific. That sounds – I would rather suck on someone's bloody nose. I would think that that level of acid actually would denature the chicken. This is someone seeking advice. This is Josh, Tom. So I don't want to read Josh's entire email because it seems very personal.

But Josh has been battling cancer for the last year and several months. He's undergone some treatments that have been less successful than hoped for. And his family members are full-blown Christians. They decided to take the opportunity of his illness to try to bring him back to Christ. And this includes family, this includes friends. And he's hurt by the fact that the people he's known his whole life, rather than focusing on his illness and trying to support him through it, they're focusing on their agenda of saving his immortal soul from hell.

And by being swept up in this fervor, he doesn't feel like they're able to be present for him in his time of need as he battles his illness. And he asked us for his advice, or our advice, rather. And Cecil, I don't know what my advice is. I don't. It's very difficult. You know, my initial thought is to say, hey, try to keep in mind the intentions of the people around you because their intentions are probably loving. But I will admit that that also feels like total bullshit. And when somebody is sick or in need,

I think your job as somebody who supports somebody who is sick or in need is to take your fucking personal thoughts and opinions, set them way off to the side, ignore them, and focus on the person who needs help. And if you can't do that, then you're not very effective at being a support person in that person's life. And I'm just terribly sorry that the people in your life can't do that for you. I feel like you hit the nail right on the head, Tom. You've got to turn to the people who are not supporting you. I need to say to them, stop making this about you.

I'm the sick one. I'm the one who has to deal with this. I'm the one who has to go through with this. So stop making my problems, the things that I'm going through about you and let me handle them. And you be here to say yes and smile and nod and be the person who helps me through this when I'm looking for help. Hey, cognitive dissonance listeners. This is Travis Peterson of the Minnesota skeptics. Chances are, if you're listening to this ridiculous

podcast, you're probably a skeptic. If you happen to live in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and want to hang out with a great group of like-minded people, you should check out the Minnesota Skeptics. You can search for us on Facebook or Meetup, or just Google us. If you don't live in Minnesota, you should definitely search for your own local skeptics group. I'm sure they'd love to have you. Still wouldn't tell them that I listen to this show, though. Thanks, Tom and Cecil. Still wouldn't tell them that I listen to this show, though. Thanks, Tom and Cecil. I wouldn't either. Yeah, I don't tell my friends and family about it.

I'll tell you that much. I don't tell anyone I even make it. Tom, we got a message. This is from Eobard. Eobard? Is that? I'm not. I'm going to say Ed.

No, it's Eobard. I'm going to say Ed. No, it's Eobard. I'm going to say it's Ed. Okay, so Ed sent a message. Boston. What's up, guys? I've been doing a lot of obsessive thinking about religion lately, and I felt the need to pose this question. Isn't one good aspect of religion that it's a source of comfort? Recently, I lost my 15-year-old cat to cancer.

She meant everything to me, and the thought that she's gone forever is troubling. But if I was a religious person, I could turn to my faith and be comforted in knowing that there's a chance I'll see her in the afterlife, and I wouldn't feel so depressed. What do you think about this? Can religion help people's mental state? Cecil, I don't know if you and I all agree on this, but no, if it doesn't feel true to you, it won't help, first of all. So the utility of a thing cannot cannot get you to a place where you can overcome the lack of belief in a thing. So just because religion feels useful will not make it feel more true. And I suspect that you know this, but I feel like it bears saying. So we might say, hey, wouldn't it be great to be comforted by this? But if you feel like the only reason that something is true is because it serves utility, then it probably doesn't actually ring genuine, doesn't ring true to you. I would also say that globally, religion as a source of comfort,

I don't buy that shit for a fucking minute. Was religion a source of comfort for the 12 dudes who were thrown overboard on the story we talked about earlier today. Probably not much of a source of comfort for those folks. I don't think religion as a source of comfort is a good reason for excusing all of the bullshit. Yeah, you know, maybe it's helpful when your fucking grandma dies or, you know, when you go through some troubling moment in your life. But it's not true. It's a false comfort. And it's a distraction. And I don't think that we should value something that isn't true because it's easier. And she says, I have to give the IETLS, the British Council version of basically the English language test in the United States, which is the TOEFL.

They recommend listening to English radio to prepare. I am listening to a marathon of your shows. I have a bad feeling about this. Good luck, Cecilia. your shows i have a bad feeling about this good luck cecilia oh it's a horrifyingly bad decision that you pass your tests uh cecilia's been with us since the beginning so we want to thank you for listening still and uh good luck with the marathon of the shows there cecilia absolutely thank you so much for being such a long time listener we got an interesting message this is from uh from dean and dean was talking about about what happened last time when we talked. There was a guy who called in and said that there's a bone in his son. He touched the bone and he prayed and the kid sort of heard a snap and then said, thank you, daddy. And it was fixed and he couldn't explain it. But he didn't say that God did it. He just said, you know, I don't understand it. You know, I'm not going to pretend that I understand it he just said you know i don't understand it you know i'm not gonna i'm

not gonna pretend that i understand it but that happened and this person says what the caller described is a very common condition known as radial head subluxation or nursemaid's elbow the typical story is a two-year-old falling or having their arm forcefully pulled hence the the common name of pulled, at this stage the proximal head, proximal end, head of the radius is not so secure and can easily become dislodged. Although the injury is at the level of the elbow, the pain is commonly felt in the wrist, leading one to suppose that there's a wrist injury. Reduction may occur spontaneously or may be accompanied by minor manipulations such as rotating the forearm or flexing the elbow.

This is often accompanied by an audible or palpable click, followed by immediate relief or pain and stress. So I guess that I didn't realize that there's a possibility that something like that could actually happen. And like we said, you know, even if it didn't, even if even if there was some really something that you couldn't explain, it doesn't explain all the rest of the fucking things that the Bible's claim are true. Right, right. And the only the only response to that is how'd that happen? Explain it. Well, I can't explain that. I don't know how it happened, but I'd be curious to find out.

So that wraps it up for a show this week. We're going to be back with a midweek show. We hope if it doesn't come out this week, though, don't kill us because we are going to reason con and it may be difficult to put out a show and travel. So we may have to put it off for an extra week and then do two in a row. But but we're going to try to put on a midweek show. If we don't, then we'll be talking to you next Monday. But if we do come out with a midweek show, it'll be out this Thursday, probably before we leave. So if you want to see us, come see us at ReasonCon. We'd love to see you. We're going to be in North Carolina, like we said, from Friday to Sunday. And we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble,

toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info- docutainment. Leo Pisces. Cancer cures.

Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing. Crystal balls. Bigfoot.

Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples. Dragons. Giant worms. Atlantis.

Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards. Vaccine nuts. shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Doubt even this. Thank you. you