Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 230: Weapon of Ass Destruction

Episode Date: June 8, 2015

   

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. And God said unto Adam, Don't you eat that apple. Don't you eat that apple. But then along comes Satan with an apple and a gay guy named Steve. And that's when the shit hit the fan. And Satan goes by many names.

Lucifer, Beelzebub, Red Delicious, and Green Smith. Glory's fucking home. Hey, I'm just, uh, coming in regards to the words you had about the state of Tennessee. I just want to let you know that I drove through Tennessee one time on a road trip, and I've got to tell you, that state, there's so many things you can see. You don't even understand how... Actually, no, I think you do understand. That place is fucking horrible.

I never wanted to leave a state faster in my entire life. And I've been to Afghanistan. I hate that state. You know what? There is one state that's worse, though. And this is something that you have failed to recognize. Arizona sucks. Hey, John. Hey, Cec this is something that you have failed to recognize. Arizona sucks! Hey, Donald. Hey, Cecil.

I don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to let you know there are liberals alive in Tennessee. We might not be alive for long. What with the roving squads of trained attack dogs and other government agencies set out to kill us. But there are a few of us. And if anyone out there is listening to me, you know we're to meet on Thursday. All right.

See you guys later. I'm going to try to stay alive for one more week. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording from glory hole studios in chicago this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode number 230, Cecil.

Wow. No. It means nothing. 230. You know what it means? It means I'm going to have a fucking drink. That's what it fucking means. Here's to 230.

Here's to 230. To another 230 more to go. I'm out of Knob Creek with this last bit. That is tragic. I, however, just got back from the great cheese-stinking state of Wisconsin today. I had to travel up there for work. And the only good thing to come out of Wisconsin is their beer. And so I brought as much as my trunk would hold back.

They don't sell that shit here? You know, so, like, anybody from the area knows, like, New Glarus, like, that's their fucking thing. It, like, says on the boxes, like, only in Wisconsin. So that's, like, part from the area knows, like, New Glarus, like, that's their fucking thing. It, like, says on the boxes, like, only in Wisconsin. So that's, like, part of their marketing hype is they're just like, I'm a local beer you probably would like to have. And I'm like, well, you fucking got me. I'd like to have it. So, fine, you cocksuckers. You know what's funny is when you come, a lot of times when you cross a state border um at least this is the case in illinois i don't know if this case elsewhere but when you cross the state border uh you get there's

like this this thing where anything that's illegal in this in the next state is immediately like super fucking available when you cross the border so like when you cross right and i think it says something about the state that you're driving into to see what are the things that are immediately available to you when you cross the border, right? Right. Indiana, it's guns and fireworks. Well, Indiana. And strip clubs. I was going to say, it's all fucking strip clubs, hunting stores, casinos.

It's fucking depression. And fireworks. It's like walking into A hoarder's house Just in case you want to Stick a screaming Mimi Or hoo-ha You can do that

You cross the state Of Indiana And you immediately know Like oh I've really settled Yeah I have really It's like

It's like It's like taking the clothes Off a woman And being like I mean we're gonna do this But I don't feel good about it Man It's like taking the clothes off a woman and being like, I mean, we're going to do this, but I don't feel good about it. Man.

It's like when you cross the border, it's like manure stands, pig slop stores. Like, that's it. That's what you got. That stinky sod that they have there that you have no idea. You're like, I don't know. Why does it smell like that? They're like, I don't know. You want to buy some?

Want some of our dirt? We're actually selling dirt at this point this is like our main export we're selling our home building materials no it's dirt we sell it our home building materials all right that's great but you go to wisconsin and it's like it's like fucking cheese stores like that's it it's like fucking cheese stores. Like, that's it. It's like fucking. They're just like, they're so fucking ridiculously wholesome in Wisconsin. They're just like, maybe you'd like some cheese. And they're like, you know what?

They can't get down south. Cheese. I know, and it's like, that's exactly how I feel. I'm like, I can just buy cheese anywhere. You don't have like a special cow. You don't have like magic fucking beans up there, motherfucker. You export your cheese downstate. It's not like it's like, oh, man, in Illinois, we don't have.

How do you say it again? Chez. Like who's driving over with the Wisconsin border like, oh, finally, I can get cheese. Yeah. And they see the illinoisans and they're a lot like oh yeah those guys have had some cheese they've had their fair fucking share of cheese just go to the fucking windy city and walk around you know in the winter time like this is like there's all of our parkas are xxxxxx. That's it. Cheese and Illinois are not strangers.

Parkers, we call those buses. You got me as I was taking a sip. I wanted to make an announcement before we move on. Last episode, we had Bryce on. We did. And Bryce brought to our attention this anonymous message that was to the LDS church. And we talked about it a little, but we mostly talked about the implications of it, which were that the Mormon Church doesn't like John Dillon,

and they don't like the woman who we mentioned, I can't remember her name, but they don't like those people. And that was sort of what we were really spending a lot of our time on. Well, someone posted a lot of our time on well someone posted a message on our blog and said oh my god that that message from anonymous is fake and it may be fake actually because i looked uh up their twitter account and i could not find that particular message anywhere in there uh dating back to where the article that video is from leads to. So it's a possibility that it is fake,

but it also brings up another question like, how do you know? I guess if it's not posted through their main Twitter account, then it's fake. But in any case, we just wanted to let people know that we presume it's fake. We think it's fake. We're not sure,

which also just explains why nothing fucking happened. Yeah, right. Well, that and the, I mean, it's anonymous, right? Like, so maybe they did it anonymously. I don't know. Maybe we wouldn't know if something happened. That's kind of like built into the category of possibilities when you're. It's kind of the mystique of the whole thing.

Right, exactly. You're all sick! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh my god, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard.

Everybody dance now! So this first story comes from buzzfeed um i can't i can't believe i'm getting stories from buzzfeed now right like like buzzfeed is like it's like clickbait now they have then i have journalism in there now too like what's happening what is happening in the world yeah like like when you see this on facebook and say something like huckabee on transgender people when he opened his mouth i couldn't believe what he said exactly something like, Huckabee on transgender people. When he opened his mouth, I couldn't believe what he said. Right, exactly. We're like, 10 things Huckabee says about transgender people.

Click to find out more. One of these might surprise your mom. And then click each goddamn page to get to the next one. Click on our fucking page-loading slideshow. Oh, no. I'll never do that. Huckabee on transgender people i wish i could have said i was transgender in high school to shower with the girls you're still a dirty old man who fucking

fondly remembers porkies like that's it that guy is porky look at him all right let's play this is this is from his he just this was at a 2015 National Religious Broadcasters Convention in, where else? Nashville, Tennessee. We are now in city after city watching ordinances that say that your seven-year-old daughter, if she goes into the restroom, cannot be offended, and you can't be offended, if she's greeted there by a 42 year old man who feels more like a woman than he does a man it's not what it says at all you can be offended all you want yeah nobody who fuck it but here's the difference motherfucker you taking offense doesn't mean fuck all to the rest of the world yeah like i could walk around and be like i'm fucking offended oh well we should fucking immediately trample on someone's rights then.

And it's also not some dude with a beard and his dick hanging out pissing in the sink because there's no fucking urinals. If you're a trans woman, you identify as a fucking trans woman. It's not like you're, you dress like a woman. And then you go into the stalls to go to the bathrooms. How the fuck would your kid even know? Right. You no idea like you'd have no idea unless the trans woman walks out and is like whatever like well i just i mean remember the last time you went to a public restroom and you had to show your genitals to the restaurant restroom attendant to make sure you got you actually have to like you have to like high five well like with cocks when you're in the bathroom

it's they call it sword fighting it's what you have to do to the guy next to you to decide who's going to go first into the urinal. That's how it works. How else would you decide? And then women have to scissor. That's a scissor battle? Just to see who's going to win. It's vagina wrestling.

It's like some fucking bladder-full American Gladiators-style tournament. You're just asking for trouble at that point yeah yeah exactly it's like it's like that wipeout game except wetter now i wish someone had told me when i was in high school that i could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers and pe i'm pretty sure i would have found my feminine side and said coach i think i'd rather shower with the girls today and it's not like they found their fucking feminine side in time for one fucking pervy class to go like stand around and fucking

that's not how this fucking works you fucking goofball you you would have to live like if you wanted to do that, you would have to like it's fucking such a long con, right? You have to like live your entire life identifying as the opposite gender just so you could see fucking illicit boobies. Yeah, it's fucking tootsie. It's like that's not a thing that happens. You're laughing because it sounds so ridiculous, doesn't it? He's killing it at the religious convention. I know.

I'm just like, oh, man. Can't you hear that? The clapping and the laughing. It's amazing. They're like, I, too, would like to view the opposite sex naked. All right. Yeah, look. All right.

Many of us would, but we'll just find people that are happy to show us their naked bodies like that's that's how the rest of us do it like the rest of us are just like hey i'll say some funny things maybe buy you a couple of drinks and then you know we'll show each other our naked bodies that's what we do that's kind of how it works we don't try to get like we don't try to trick entire groups of people into showing us their naked bodies because we're so fucking desperate for the sight of flesh in 2015 are you fucking kidding we have computers for god's sake and our phones you can look at a naked body anytime you want now like right now go ahead and do it that's the show look at a naked body you can do it right now And yet today we're the ones who are ridiculed and scorned

because we point out the obvious that there's something inherently wrong with forcing little children to be a part of this social experiment. I'm not against anybody. I just like for somebody to bring their brain to work someday and not leave it on the bed stand when they show up to govern. day and not leave it on the bed stand when they show up to govern. Well, let us know when you decide to do that. And you're not against anybody, except for those people that I just talked about that I'm against. Right. Yeah, I'm not against anybody, but I'm going to ridicule somebody's gender.

That's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to make fun of their gender identity for you. It's great. It's a joke for us. And then I'm going to kind of conflate that with ped you. It's great. It's a joke for us. And then I'm going to kind of conflate that with pedophilia because, but I'm not against them. I'm not against them. But he's going to subtly conflate it with pedophilia. Right. Yeah. Because it's not their fault that a seven-year-old came in. It's just their opportunity. Oh, God.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. To me, it's pretty simple. A person either believes that God created this process or believes that it was an accident and that it just happened all on its own. This story comes from Slate.com. The Bible versus the Constitution. This is kind of fucked up. In Louisiana, creationism is just straight in the textbooks now.

That's just a fucking thing. And it's not even hiding in there. It's like people are actively complaining, like, hey, I think there was an evolution being taught. And the principal's like, well, we'll fucking see to that. Like, can't have that happen again. I mean, it's just outrageous. I cannot believe. I mean, I always knew that, knew that Louisiana was a garbage state.

Yeah, I know. I mean, I think the person who they called was an actual alligator. They called him on the phone. And then whenever the alligator gets afraid, it just opens its mouth and steps backwards really quickly, sort of waving its head side to side. And then goes back into the water and tells someone to get some creationist shit in the schools. This is a state so monumentally backwards that when three or four people from this state accidentally make it onto television,

they have to subtitle them. Because they don't even... Like, they're speaking the language, but they speak it with such an unbelievably thick patois of ignorance that it has to be subtitled into actual words that people use. Because it's basically clicks and whistles at that point. I mean, you're just like, that's not even like, that sounds like EWO. I feel like you're insulting dolphins at this point. is they when they when they had that swamp people show on the oh yeah the cast and crew like or the

the producers would often get confused and they would try to interview the manatees during the middle of the production like they can't tell they're just like i don't know i mean they look they had occasion on the on the uh x-men show and that dude was all subtitled all day all the time that dude was subtitled my dad used to All the time. That dude was subtitled. My dad used to watch this cooking show with like the Louisiana. Justin Wilson. Did you watch that too? My dad used to watch it, yeah. And he would be like, yeah, I'm going to put a little wine in here.

A little bit for me, a little bit for you. Oh, yeah, I guarantee. His catchphrase was, I guarantee. I guarantee. I guarantee. I watched that. He would drink on the show and be like, I'm fucking PBS. Yeah, he would get all fucking wasted and shit.

Yeah, because, I mean, well, he's from fucking Louisiana, so the only thing you can do is drown your sours in spirits. Right. That's it. Because otherwise you have to come to this dark realization that you live in Louisiana. And nobody wants that. And nobody wants that. When you live in Louisiana and you look around, you're like, my state is almost literally the actual toilet of America. It is a swamp that is below grade. Like, I live in the fucking base.

I live in a fucking, I live in a dirty cellar of a state. And I am surrounded by Mississippi. cellar of a state and i am surrounded by mississippi you there's like there's a level of a fucking sheer unadulterated desperation that can only lead to new orleans i went to new orleans once a couple times actually the first time i went there though i wound up walking to the downtown area and there was a garbage can there and it was so filled with like and there wasn't like overflowing it was just the dirtiest garbage can i've ever seen in my entire fucking life like it was caked with some sort of slime on the outside like at one point i thought i saw it breathing it was the most absolutely horrifying thing i'd ever seen and on and letters across the

top it's like mayor fucking crocodile wants to keep this place clean and how dare you it's mayor mccheese it is mayor mccheese it's fucking the hamburglar we were told too like what kind of place they were like hey we want to go see the see the fucking the famous graveyard or whatever they had. Yeah, the crypts or whatever. Yeah, you want to go see that. And everybody that we talked to was like, don't go out there. You'll get mugged. And I'm just like, that sounds so unpleasant.

Like, your city sucks balls. It's the worst city. I mean, the only thing they have going for them is food. That's it. That's all they've got. They can cook very well. But the rest of that that it's just fucking flush it down the toilet whatever katrina missed oh no oh no delete this is that too soon it's always too soon it's always too soon delete the whole show okay delete the back catalog i don't know that i can go there but

so but i want to read a piece of this louisiana this story for louisiana it says the louisiana science education act jesus that's what it's called i know i know it's the science education act passed by the legislature the state legislator in 2008, permits science teachers to use supplemental materials to critique evolution, opening a backdoor that teachers are using as intended to teach creationism. Such lessons are allowed under this Louisiana law, but they are illegal under federal law. And then what they're saying is, at the end of the article, they specifically say, like, all they need is one person to contact the Freedom From Religion Foundation and they'll get down there and take care of this. We just need one. Yeah. But you know what?

Like, I mean, being that guy who sounds the alarm in Louisiana. I know. God. You know, from the same article, from the same article, it says in an email exchange, a parent had complained that a different teacher, Cindy Tolliver, actually taught that evolution was a fact. This parent complained that Tolliver was, quote, pushing her twisted religious beliefs out of the class. The principal responded, I can assure you this will not happen again. We can't have learning in a school. Science?

No. This is why Louisiana will never get ahead. Louisiana is never going to be a fucking like the center for the thing you bought. Right? There's never going to be like the fucking Silicon Valley of Louisiana. I think they need electricity first before we start. You got to get fucking indoor toilets. You got to put one foot

in front of the other tom you know the problem with indoor toilets in louisiana is when the whole fucking state is a toilet yeah it's very difficult to differentiate the thing is you're below sea level so when you flush it stuff just comes up all right just send your hate mail to oh i don't have fucking email nobody. Nobody from Louisiana could listen to this show. People from Louisiana. Are you kidding? If you could listen to this show, I guarantee you're not a native Louisianan. You're getting your internet from fucking satellite dishes or whatever.

They get in fucking dirt poor fucking third world countries like Louisiana. God, I can't wait to do my Peace Corps trip down there. You gotta get a special set of shots. I'm gonna take a selfie with all those little poor kids from Louisiana. Put it on my Facebook while I can't wait. Helping the less fortunate. There's fucking USAID trucks everywhere.

Everybody's drinking out of those safety straws. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's like Louisiana, malaria capital. The thing is, is like, just like the Peace Corps, you need a translator everywhere you go. This story speaks to my soul, Cecil.

This story got me right in the fucking feels. Did it? It did. It did. It's from the Raw story. It's Glenn Beck and Rick Perry all in one story. First of all, that's the fucking dream team of fucking lunatics. The only thing that would make this better would be to fucking create the fucking sacred triumvirate and get Glenn Beck and Rick Perry and fucking Pat Robertson in one stage together.

I actually don't think they're allowed to be in the same place together. You know, it's like... Yeah, because it'll be a black hole of stupid. It just, like, sucks everybody's thoughts out of their head. So Glenn Beck is saying that Rick Perry prayed for an end to the Texas drought. Let's listen to it.

This is from Glenn Beck's, whatever, internet show, whatever he does nowadays i'm not sure and we should be clear we haven't really talked about this but both these ridiculous torrential downpours and flooding and the preceding drought both the fault of global warming thank you for bringing that up thank you we have not talked about it and i mean the drought which was blamed on global warming incessantly now all the rain is also also blamed on global warming incessantly. Now all the rain is also being blamed on global warming. As we've always said, no matter what happens. Do they not understand that both of those things are extreme weather

and neither are preferable? Yeah, they don't understand that global climate change causes changes in weather patterns, including extreme weather changes. You know, like big fucking snow would be a result of climate change, too. Like the big fucking snows we had could potentially be a result. They don't get it, dude.

They're just like, hey, fucking two opposite things can't be caused by the same thing. And it's like, well... It's all the people from around here, too, are like, global warming, it's been chilly all June. And you're like, yeah,

and people die in Bombay. Right, exactly. People fucking pavement is melting i know in india i know i know like when you walk down the street and there's like a fucking cow up to its neck in the pavement it's like fucking slow cooking all day way out of that drought yeah way out of that drought we started digging our way out of that drought about three out of that drought we started digging our way out of that drought about three years ago uh but that's definitely over i was up in the um up in the farm country up in uh in idaho this last weekend and it was a sloppy mess up there and they had just five weeks ago they had um a a fast for rain because they were in a drought. And it started raining five weeks ago.

Oh, y'all didn't eat your breakfast? Okay, we'll set some rain down. Glad to see you didn't eat your Cheerios this morning. Little bakey and eggs. Didn't eat that. Oh, no. Fucking ridiculous. Fasting to get God's attention is worse than praying.

It is fucking trepanning dumb. It is as stupid as you can be to think you're getting your God's attention because you fucking skipped the fucking power bar for lunch. Are you serious? Oh, looks like he's on his cut cycle. Give me a fucking break. All those guys in Idaho are looking lean and tri- I'll tell you what. I'll make it rain.

Those are some sexy bitches down there. I'll make it rain. Make it rain on them. Go on. Show me some more of them ass. I'll make you Idahoans. Slick yourselves down with that mud that I made. Rub yourself with that potato.

Rub that potato right up on those sexy washboat abs. It's like God is up in heaven, not intervening in the fucking tragic drought. So God's like, Wait, you hear that? Somebody skipped lunch. It's like a firecracker. Yeah. He's got like a fucking, he's got like a red phone that just rings when your stomach growls. But then all the, all like the starving people, because it's not on purpose, right?

He's just like, you can't hear that shit at all. Like, it's just like, can't hear that shit at all like it's just like it's you gotta you gotta fucking if you're just like if you're just like like i'm so hungry i can't i don't have the energy to go home somebody just if i could just have one rice just i'll split it with you i swear i don't want the whole rice i just want just if i could just smell the one rice please before i die it would give me if i could still generate a single tear i would cry it just for you and god's up there like well i can't hear a fucking thing yeah like like if it's an american it's immediately to the red phone if it's anybody else it's fucking call forwarding it's like yeah my messaging service is gonna pick that shit up i'm sorry hi y'all you called god sorry he's busy catering to americans he'll get back to you never

y'all hear that white people aren't eating on purpose. That shit's loud. Those white folks skip breakfast and lunch. It's amazing. He's surviving only on frappuccino. Give me a break. What a fucking nozzle. Can't drink your calories.

If you believe in fasting as a fucking way to change the fucking universe you're a fucking douche nozzle you're a fucking idiot it's outrageous goddamn fucking fool and also do you want to live in a world where you know your god is basically so oblivious he's like he's like well i'm just gonna give him a drought for i don't know how long however long it takes i guess just give him a drought and then oh oh who's pulling on my pant leg oh glenn beck oh oh you want me to rain oh okay we'll make it rain for you a little bit we'll we'll give you a good well well we haven't made a rain for a little while so let's make sure it's a real good rain for you look at that real good rain like fucking what every time it's like this yo-yo it's

like too much too little too much too little he's like he's like this yo-yo, it's like, too much, too little. Too much, too little. He's like a particularly stupid bear. You know what I mean? Like, you can't fucking decide on the softness of the fucking desired bed. Or he's just like a really, really strong, dumb person. He's letting. And he's letting. And whenever he pets you, he just pets you way too hard. That's interesting.

Because if Rick Perry announces that he's running for president, which is expected, of course, he, in 2012, I think it was, or 2011, was praying for rain here. Will he get blamed for the success of the rain and the flooding? The success of the rain? Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Yeah, Rick Perry actually went to his wall and counted out those 23 kills. I was going to say, like two dozen dead people are just like, only like two dozen dead people are just like, yeah. Fucking asshole. Well done, Rick Perry.

Yeah. Could you have prayed just like a little less hard? Like you could have fucking cranked the fucking prayer control to 11. No, I think he clearly cranked it to 23. Yeah. The fuck? Oh, no.

Yeah, and it fucking, you started fucking praying, what, three years ago? Four years ago. Four. Wow. Are they really not eating for four years? Oh, no, they're eating again. I'll tell you what. It takes a while to get a prayer up to 60, 60 miles an hour.

It's like four years to get it from zero to 60. Well, you see, I'm way up here in heaven, and prayer don't move at the speed of light, y'all. That's ridiculous. Prayer moves at the speed of fasting, and that's slow, even though the word is fast, but I'm in the slow. Prayer moves as fast as a union worker. You see, it's funny because they take a lot of breaks we started ending that drought with that fast you remember that i do remember that yeah and it and he was mocked for it anyway rightfully so yeah rightfully so because it's absurd and it

took it and even if you do credit this to him, it took him several years to actually fucking accomplish it, which is absurd. Because also droughts end. Yeah. Like, did we think that, like, without praying, like, the drought would just be like, oh, my God, it's a forever drought. Oh, man. This is the one. This is it. This is it.

It's done raining forever. Texans are, like, filling up glasses with dust and drinking them. A long black cock, long black cock. A long black cock, long black cock. So this is also, this is from the Patheos blogs. This is from a blog I've never used before. Brother Richard's Life Without Faith. Blue jean wearing women

are weapons of mass destruction. This is pretty great. The New Indian Express is reporting that a Pakistani cleric, Fazlur Rahman. Nice job.

Right? I feel like I crushed that shit. I did. He's basically blaming all of the available things. Like all of the things on pantaloons. Well, what he wants him to dress as is a sack of flour. Sack of flour.

That's pretty sad. He said if they don't and they keep wearing those jeans, he's going to bring out his weapon of ass destruction. I do love the picture in here of the mom jeans at the top. Have you ever seen that fucking SNL skit with the mom jeans? Yes, it's awesome. God, it's so funny. It's like fucking let everyone know you're not a woman anymore. You're a mom.

Mom will love her nine-inch zipper and pleated front. It's fucking amazing. If you haven't fucking Googled the fucking Google mom jeans SNL, it's so fucking funny. So he's saying like, this guy is saying, Faisalur Raymond went on to say that a woman who is not covered like a sack of flour is a mobile weapon of mass destruction for her state. And that Pakistan has a multitude of such nuclear missiles at all of its major cities. What? I don't know what that means. has a multitude of such nuclear missiles at all of its major cities. What? I don't know what that means.

He says that if women are wrapped in sacks and kept inside homes, wrapped in sacks, and if the Sharia law was in place, then the Taliban brothers would not be attacking Pakistan. Pakistan. Palestine? Palestine's a totally new place. That's when they kick all the Palestinians out of Israel. They're going to have to go to Palestine. Welcome to Palestine, my friend.

Oh, shit. Pants. Pants. Pants are the impetus, according to this fucking idiot, for all kinds of cataclysmic events, including inflation, which is great. Sure. Decreased energy supplies. I will tell you this. The right pair of plants will cause inflation.

It happens. The wrong pair certainly causes deflation. I'll tell you that much. Decreased energy supplies. I thought, well, I don't know. I get pretty energetic with a woman. Sure, it depends on the pants, but yeah. It depends.

Pants on the floor get even more energetic. And threatens the overall security of Pakistan. Overalls, huh? I see what you did there. This can't be a real thing. I don't think it's real. It can't be. It can't be a real thing.

Nobody thought Bubbles' mom jeans anyway. I mean, come on. Although the link to the Indian Express also has him blaming women wearing jeans for the reason behind earthquakes. There's been some fucking earth shattering pantaloons that I've seen. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com,

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You fucking rock. This story's from Reuters. It's super weird. Pennsylvania woman goes on trial on fortune-telling charges. So this is super strange. So first of all, there's fortune-'s fortune telling charges that's the first thing that struck me like i would think that they're that they are con charges like con man charges because it's got like you know like well look i can see like fraud yeah like i think it's right

because it's because they they they wound up getting 10 grand out of this person at least 10 grand well but it says that she faces 55 counts of fortune telling fortune like like somebody's like so they're actually had to sit around and be like well what do we think about fortune what are we going to do with this fortune telling wouldn't that just fall under the existing fraud laws yeah like do we have to make a separate we have to like well we haven't really discussed fortune telling oh we haven't really fucking discussed you know like fucking dog psychology either. You know, like, but bullshit is fucking bullshit.

I will say in this, it says it says that the person was persuaded to stop taking their mental health medication and to buy candles, oils, perfume and crystals to help ward off evil spirits. And then her financial loss probably ran into tens of thousands of dollars but only about ten thousand dollars could be verified so this i think falls under the uh the um the auspices of like when people talk about how oh well you know it's just it's just for good fun right i'm gonna go to the fortune teller i'm just gonna have good i'm gonna have a good time there i know it's not real but i'm just gonna have a good time there i know the horoscopes aren't real but i'm gonna have a good time just reading it or whatever you know there's some harm that can be done from this there's people who don't understand the difference between reality and non-reality sure right and when you give those people credence by i don't know giving them a fucking show on television or you know having

specials where people are fucking uh seeing ghosts or talking to the dead or all that stuff you're giving validity to this you're pointing to this and saying there's something to this and then people who are you know might not know any better they're gonna get screwed over and i know that there's people out there right now they're like fucking well they don't know any better, they're going to get screwed over. And I know that there's people out there right now that are like, well, if they don't know any better, it's their fucking own fault. And it's like, well, we've got to legislate for the lowest common denominator. Well, and it's not their fault. Let's not do that stupid shit where we blame the victim for being victimized. That's just fucking mean, and there's no reason to do that,

and that's not how you build a better society. just fucking mean and there's no reason to do that and that's not how you build a better society. The way to build a good society is to fucking go after the people who prey on the weak, like go after people who prey on people who are less educated or desperate or emotionally vulnerable. Yes, if we all go to fortune tellers tomorrow and we all know it's bullshit and we do it just for a fucking laugh and a way to spend two hours in your afternoon is there any harm in that you know maybe maybe not it's a conversation but the thing is like the fortune tellers are relying on you know 90 percent of the people walking through their door knowing it's nonsense and doing it on a lark but they know that like 10 or whatever the fucking rate is, but a certain percentage of the people who walk in their door, those are the real marks.

So they set up shop knowing that most of the people who come in are just like they're just a one off and they'll do a thing. And it's like, OK, that's not my mark. That's not my mark. And they're waiting for that person who's in that moment in their life where their guard is down, where they're willing to accept a little bit less reason and a little more credulity in order to get some fucking answers or some solace. Or maybe they are mentally unstable or something. And those are the people they prey on. In this fucking story, it's no secret that this person said, you know, stop taking your fucking medication. Right.

Like, well, that's just advantageous to the fortune teller. Sure. Like the more compromised you are, make you more and more compromised. I'm not saying every fortune teller is a con, but I think the thing is like like actively trying to con you out of your money in the sense that they knowingly know that they're not there, that they don't believe their own bullshit i think there's some out there that believe their own bullshit but you also got to realize that those people are probably going to just as well going to try to get you to come back for extra sessions and do all that stuff if you're compromised too Story hole in extremely long black clock. This story comes from the Raw story. There's no such thing as marital rape.

Christian website says wives must yield for sex. No questions asked. The guy's right, though. There's no such thing as... No, you're laughing, but he's right. There's no such thing as marital rape. It's just rape. Right.

Yeah, actually, that's a great point. There's no reason to put marital rape it's just rape right yeah actually that's a great that's a great point there's no reason to put that fucking adjective in front of it like it doesn't change anything about the it's actually perfect thing to say i i read this and i'm just like man this is more that bored and ignored like there's nothing more unattractive than like you're i can't imagine being like hey you have to have so fine but i'm totally not into it hey all right why would you why would you want that yeah i want to read this is from the guy's website and this was not covered on this this was a disclaimer that was put on i think after the raw story linked to this so this is in big red bold on his website under the second paragraph and read it.

I have not, nor would I ever advocate for a husband to force himself physically upon his wife or to physically abuse her in any fashion. What the fuck? Again, like, who wants to have grudging sex with an unwilling... Like, that's not... Like, I can't imagine being like hey the bible says you have to have grudging unwilling sour fucking faced sex with me i mean and what the fuck is and and seriously it's like and he says at the end he's like does so grudgingly and not in the mood even if she does even if and or does not feel he has earned it. What the fuck is she? Smith Barney? Like fucking only if you and what the fuck is that?

What a weird. Okay. And I don't want to talk about everybody's relationship out there because I don't fucking know and I don't really care, but I would really it would be a weird relationship to be like, okay, honey, you earned your fucking Puna for today, right? Like what do you ring a bell and i salivate is that how this works yeah like you i don't you don't earn sex it's not a prize somebody is giving you like well here is your sex like wait a minute because because we're

doing this thing together and you should be kind of into it and if i'm not into it and you're not into it then we should just do a different thing instead like let's watch game of thrones like i don't want to let's do something else like yeah and at one point he says he he starts defining the different types of not in the mood and the second type it's so weird the second type of not in the mood is let's just get this over with oh let's talk about a boner killer somebody's like okay come on you can climb in here but i i'm not gonna get wet let's i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make a sound i'm gonna we're gonna i'm gonna fucking silently stare into the middle distance yeah or you fucking hump away or get on your phone right or she's gonna get on her phone oh god it's such a fucking awful weird but you know like the

thing that's super depressing is you know somebody's going to use this. Yeah. To convince their fucking wife, like, that she has to be submissive sexually in order to be pleasing to God and all this stuff. And he's got all these fucking weird, like, advice. Like, well, if she's not into it, you can use an artificial lubricant. advice like well if she's not into it you can use an artificial lubricant and like you and he like advises like you should use some foreplay and like touch her and massage her maybe use oral sex and it's like yeah or maybe just fucking respect her like that's the other option like just fucking how about if you use some fucking respect you goddamned animal and i like it it is in his uh in his

article he talks about how you know some women want to talk or whatever but sometimes guys just want to come home and fuck they just want to fuck it out i know he's like he says like you have to understand that sometimes a man has had a rough day and all he wants to do is fuck it out man fucking traffic was shitty the boss fucking gave me a shitty review i'm gonna i'm gonna go home your ankle sweetheart we're fucking whether you like it or not that'll make my day better grudging unwilling sex with a fucking disinterested partner yeah oh. That's the good stuff. I love it. That's just, God. Oh, man.

Let's post this to Reddit. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire Fruited Plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Barton, LGBT activists are evangelizing public school students to recruit them into homosexuality.

All right, let's play. This is David Barton was on Wall Builders Live Radio. They're even promoting transgender in kindergarten. You know, these guys on the other side. Now, think about that for just a second. Promoting transgender. So are we promoting? Well, let me just ask the question. What percentage of America is transgender? We're promoting something for a group that is what size

wow i would think one i hope it's not even one tenth of one percent but that's the only number that comes to mind three tenths of one percent it's even bigger no you're fucked dude there's three times as many oh my gosh i hope it's not as many as it is. Oh no! Three times. Less than a half of a percent. Less than a half of a percent. And so we are now inculcating kids from kindergarten up that they need to deal with this one half of one percent, and maybe they

need to consider being part of that one half of one percent, and we want you to examine your feelings and see if that's who you are. And so we've got... Which we know how that works psychologically. I mean, that's going to plant the seed in their mind and they're going to start going that direction.

Right. Because when somebody plants a seed in your mind at an early age that you're gay, you automatically become gay because it's like watering a fucking flower. Yeah. Right. Everybody has gay seeds and fucking hetero seeds. And then like,

and then trans seeds. it has nothing to do with fucking you it's just if somebody told you you should do it then you do it well that's actually think sexuality works i think that's that's why i'm white yeah you know like i just i saw this it's true no yeah you were black when you were younger if you grew up in a black community you're probably black you know because you saw a lot of black people so you were younger. If you grew up in a black community, you're probably black. You know, because you saw a lot of black people. Yeah, sure. So you just made the choice.

You just chose to be black. Right. And the same thing is true for like white people. Like I grew up in a mostly white community. And so they planted the seed of whitism. Right. And so now I'm a person with whitism. I see.

That's how that works. That's not how that works. You're a person with Caucasianism. I see. That's how that works. That's not how that works. You're a person with Caucasianism. Caucasianism. It's the same thing that happened with homosexuality in the country. This is evangelism. What they're doing is evangelizing. This is exactly how you evangelize. You raise questions. But you're pro-evangelism.

Like, you can't do that. You're pro-evangelism for all the things you like. It's so true, man. This is evangelism. That's my job. Yeah. you like it's so true man right like this is evangelism that's my job yeah well it's funny because it's like no it's not evangelism just letting someone know that a thing is a thing right is not evangelizing yeah look seeing superheroes doesn't make me a superhero right like i can't you can't just choose things if if that's how it worked

everybody every kindergartner would just be spider-man yeah like that's it evangelizing specifically refers to christianity too it's not like it doesn't refer to christianity right you give examples you you share stuff you create relational stories they're doing evangelism for for transgenders so we're having evangelism for a group that is 0.3 percent now why don't we allow teachers to do evangelism for a group that is 72 percent that's christians well it's not like people are just saying christians don't exist right right no one is yeah no one's suggesting that we that we hide the fact of Christianity's existence. It's not like they're handing out, like, fucking rainbows and, like, fucking lime-flavored condoms to five-year-olds.

They're just like, okay, fucking, even if they are, which I don't believe that they're even doing. But let's say that they're saying, it's okay if you're out that's not fucking evangel that's not doing anything it's just saying a thing right and it's not going to change anybody's fucking gender identity it's not going to change anybody's fucking sexual identity it's not just sitting billy on their lap and being like it's okay if you like other boys billy and if he's like no i i don't be like billy you like other boys right maybe in my eyes right yeah why would we do three tenths of a percent not 70 or how about this why not let teachers be evangelists for the 40 that call themselves conservatives because that's

larger than the group that calls themselves moderates or liberals how is it wait so right are there 40 kids of of the United States? That have political leaning like a bunch of fucking kindergartners? Like, I'm a conservative. And why would you care? They can't even vote. And by the time they get to be fucking teenagers, they're going to reject the shit you taught them in kindergarten anyway. Right.

And they're going to be fucking, they're going to be countercultural. Oh, God. It's a way to create a bunch of liberals, fucktard. Or why not let teachers be evangelists for the 37.6% who call themselves Republicans? Why are we into promoting the three-tenths of 1% over all these other major massive groups that are out there? And the simple answer goes back to a law book in 1814 is that folks like this like homosexuals they have to recruit kids that's the only way they can keep their movement alive like christians right i was gonna say like you know like the it's it's so funny to

me the reason i like this story is because it it's this is a guy who's basically saying like they're using our tools these are our tools this is how we like this is how we who's basically saying, like, they're using our tools. These are our tools. This is how we inculcate the young. And this is how we get them early. Because we recognize that our message doesn't sell past the age of reason. And we have to sell this message to people who are driven by emotion and a desire to conform to authority figures. And if we don't get them while they're young, then this message doesn't sell.

This is our sales tactic, damn it. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Alex McFarland on Caitlyn Jenner's transition. That's demonic. That's demonic, everybody. Okay, well, let's play them.

This is right-wing Christian apologist Alex McFarland. He was a guest on AFA's Today's Issues. God would not make us a certain way and then demand that we not be that way. When people have gender confusion as is so prevalent in our community, in our country right now. Yeah. And he's right, Tom. He's right about that. He would not make us a certain way and then demand we be some some other way. He made us without wings. So we're not allowed to fly that's right right i love too he's like and it's so prevalent it's like well the last guy just said it was 0.3 percent of the population

it's very not prevalent yeah i'd be hard pressed to call that prevalent i i just think that like now we're just not mean about it yeah and now people aren't afraid to do it right yeah it's like well and plus now we have surgical options that allow them to physically change their bodies to match their gender. Right. So that's not the same thing at all. And there's so much moral, the lines of gender have been blurred. That's not God.

We don't blame that on God. I don't blame it on anyone because there's no problem. Yeah, exactly. Like, I use problems. That's not God. We don't blame that on God. I don't blame it on anyone because there's no problem. Yeah, exactly. I use problems. I would blame somebody broke a dish in my house and didn't clean it up. Like, who the fuck broke this dish in my house and didn't clean that shit up? But I wouldn't blame somebody who's like, I think I'm a woman. I'd be like, great.

Who should I blame? Who should I make the checkout to? I don't know. What to do with that? I mean, like if somebody was like, I got a dog, I blame it on Jesus. But I got a dog. You know what? What it is, is that these are people.

These are the fucking the gossipers. Like these are people who just cannot keep their fucking their noses out of other people's business because what they say is like well who's to blame for all this to be like blame for what well for these people thinking that they're born a man and thinking they're a woman you're like well what's the problem well the problem is is that i don't like it you're like well who gives a fuck what you like i don't like fucking i don't like fucking chocolate and cherries but i don't fucking knock them out of your hand when you're eating them it's like fucking so what like fucking you don't like it that's fucking real sad dude holy shit that's the saddest thing i heard all day who cares what you don't

like and it's it's so funny too because they'd be like well you're fucking shoving it down my throat like no it's on tv and in a magazine if you don't like the tv show don't watch it if you don't like the magazine don't buy it yeah just don't fucking look at it like i don't like the TV show, don't watch it. If you don't like the magazine, don't buy it. Yeah, just don't fucking look at it. You don't have to consume all the media. Since this happened, I have not seen a single thing about it except for when I scroll past it on the internet. That's the only time I've ever been subjected to Caitlyn Jenner. That's it. When I scroll past, because I don't give a fuck.

I don't care. It's not a story for you to click on. I literally don't care. I'm just like, I don't care about fucking what you did. i didn't care about you when you were part of the kardashians i don't care about you now i wouldn't care if they lit you on fire i wouldn't care if they fucking burned you in effigy i would still fucking scroll past you on facebook the thing is it's like it's a non the only reason it's a story is because of the opposition to it otherwise it's such a fucking non-story it's like this person is living their life the way they feel like they

want to live their life like who cares that's what everybody's doing good lord we're all trying to do who fucking gives a shit yeah it's like fucking like all these people are just such judgmental fuck wads i know you know it's funny on my facebook wall there was somebody who uh posted like like there's like this thing going around it's like you know it's funny on my facebook wall there was somebody who uh posted like like there's like this thing going around it's like you know because i guess like there was like a bravery award or something that like caitlin jenner won and i'm not sure about the details but i kept seeing this thing this week it was like you know pictures of like soldiers you know like single-handedly like throwing like a hundred grenades into a nest of fucking machine gunning fucking Nazi werewolves or whatever, you know, like Nazi wolves.

Right. And so and it's like, you know, this is what a real hero looks like. And I'm like, I'm one of them. I'm like, how much brave do you have to brave in order to be brave? Like how many brave units? Because it's just shit is so fucking absurd like and i i don't give a shit about you know like and is there isn't there a difference though between like fucking there's different kinds of bravery right i mean are you that fucking dense that you're just like yeah it's not physical bravery it's not fucking fighting a fucking lion away from a busload of fucking invalid children.

No, it's not that. OK, but it's a different kind of. And you can't admit that that's bravery shows how fucking small minded you are. And it's like that same mindset, like those same people would be like, you know, by that same measure, it's like you could be like, oh, like, I cut off the tip of my finger and it really hurts. It'd be like, some people step on landmines. It's just like, well, my fucking finger still hurts. That hurts more. Yeah, I don't slice tomatoes with a landmine.

I don't know what to tell you. That didn't make this hurt less. Yeah. I admit that it does hurt less than the alternative thing than the fucking landmine yeah right but it it is not less hurt it's like you're like this caitlin jenner is not less brave than she was earlier today as a result like as a result of your meme because somebody else did a different brave thing like i don't know how many brave units you get awarded who's the keeper of the brave

that shit is so fucking maddening uh there's more of this oh god of course there is let me say this homosexuality same-sex attraction gender confusion is a means of trying to deal with pain when i look at a bruce jenner it's not bruce jenner dickhead you fucking mother fucker it's fucking caitlin because the name changed asshole what a fucking cock i see a person that i know uh my graduate training in developmental psychology my time as a pastor. It's like the fucker who would call, it's that dude who got punched out by fucking Muhammad Ali when he kept on calling him like Cassius Clay after he changed his name. And at the end, Muhammad Ali's standing over his body

being like, what's my name? What's my name? I hope fucking Caitlyn Jenner does that to you, you fucking douche nozzle. Tim and Ray, I know this is a person who's hurting it's very sad uh but you know i've got to say this and i want your you guys to respond to this i believe the the whole transgender uh someone trying to change their sexuality they may not be trying to change their sexuality they're they're they're identifying their gender their gender and their

sexuality may not correlate way to way to fucking specifically and intentionally misunderstand right right you fucking it's the ultimate form of moral relativism because it's saying god you have no control on me god you have no claim on my life, not even over my gender. Yeah, right. A lot of people think that. They're called atheists. Right? Or fucking, I don't know, like Hindus.

You know what I mean? And then there's also a lot of Christians who also don't believe that. Right. It's like anybody who's not just being a purposefully judgmental dick lot about this that's like those are the people that believe this like anybody who's just like what do i care what somebody does with their body it's not my fucking body i would care a lot if somebody's like tom you're getting a gender sex reassignment thing i'm like well fucking the fuck i am like we have to... But if it's not my body, I'm like, fucking that's not a thing to me. What do I care?

Why would it matter? It'd be like if somebody was like, I'm getting a tattoo, and I'm like, well, okay. If I don't like your tattoo, you know, I just don't say anything about it. Why do you need my fucking approval? Right. The fuck, man? What does my approval mean?

What does my approval fucking mean to somebody yeah i approve well fuck you i don't that's just as bad as you saying you disapprove because you're fucking telling me that you had some fucking way to approve yeah fuck your approval fuck your disapproval the only the only appropriate response is somebody doing something with their fucking body that doesn't fucking involve you is fucking disinterest right like that's it be like i fucking wore some shoes be like fucking good for you dude like yeah let's get some lemonade who cares what what could be more personal than than our gender maleness and femaleness it's down to our very chromosomes and to this when bruce jenner he was

on cnn a month ago and he said that he's an asshole i know chromosomes don't even necessarily shake out that way either like there's fucking there are people with fucking all it's not just fucking two binary opposites with chromosomes either like either he doesn't know this or he is purposefully misunderstanding he just doesn't know i think this is a guy who doesn't know this or he is purposefully misunderstanding. He just doesn't know it. I think this is a guy who doesn't know it. Got the soul of a woman. That's demonic. That's demonic. Now I got to save that clip.

That's great. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Roy Moore. Gay marriage will literally cause the destruction of our country.

Literally. Literally. Well, this is him talking on CNS. So they posted an audio clip of this interview. He's on Central Nervous System? Weird. CNS News. Now, I just want to point this out.

This is Alabama's chief justice. Oh, God. Roy Moore, chief justice for Alabama. And that means that he rides the highways down there in like a fucking car with spikes on it. And he shoots other human beings. What they're doing is they're toying with something that's like dynamite and will destroy our country. Do you think so? I think that eventually, over a period of time, it will.

I think that eventually that you're going to have people. Well, yes, I think definitely will, because the agenda of the homosexual movement. Where are they recording? On the freeway? Yeah. What is going on? I said he was the road warrior earlier. He drives around in a spiked car.

They're actually filming right next to his car. It's unbelievable. Like, that music was so exciting to start that clip. The music was just like, boom, boom, ba-da-da-da-doo! That's filmed from the back of this pickup truck. So weird. It's to force acceptance of this on everybody. You've already seen it in cases regarding flowery bakeries and flower shops.

Flowery? Floweries. I guess he's right. If a bakery is gluten-free, it could be called a flowery. A flowery? I think the flowery would be a great name-free, it could be called a flowery. A flowery? I think the flowery would be a great name for a bake shop. It's a flowery. I love that he tries to fucking mash up florist and bakery,

and he can't. His fucking tiny little brain can't handle it. Well, I went to the borist and then the flowery. I got fucking super confused. The borist. Fucking super confused. A forest. People, chaplains in the Navy.

There's just a lot of fraud things that I think are trying to be forth because it deals with religious liberty. I love this guy's accent. He's got one of those, I don't know, it's like one of those down South sort of accents. I just love it. It sounds, it sounds a little like this. Any one of you lily livered, bold naked varmints care to slap leather with me in case any of you get any ideas, you better know who you're dealing with. I'm the hootinest, tootinest, shootinest, bob-tailed wildcat in the West. I'm the fastest gun north, south, east, and west of my seat.

I'm the shittest. The best part is Yosemite Sam is fucking like three times more articulate than I love that. It's literally going to cause the destruction of our country, right? Like dynamite. They say like, at what point he's like,

it's like dynamite. I'm thinking you can't think of anything more destructive than dynamite in this day and age. Oh man. Where'd America go? I don't know. The fucking gays blew it up with dynamite like fabulous why would they do that so much dynamite just like an incredible amount

of dynamite they were throwing dynamite from from boats that surround what they did is they surrounded america with boats filled with dynamite and they they threw it at America until America got smaller. Like fucking blowing up blocks in Minecraft. Are you fucking kidding me? Like the homosexual agenda is literally going to destroy America. Like what would America become? Like what would happen? Like how would that even. When I read this, it's like how would you destroy America?

Like what would happen to it that would destroy it? Like, oh, you're going to wake up. Oh, God. Are we in America? Oh, the fucking g that would destroy it? You're going to wake up and it's fucking like, oh god, are we in America? The fucking gays wrecked the whole thing. We don't have a fucking interstate highway system or anything anymore. The fucking gays

made the whole thing up. I don't even understand what that means to literally destroy America. This guy's got to hail from Oxford, Alabama. I think he's an Oxford man. literally destroy america either i think this is this guy's got a hail from oxford alabama i think i think he's an oxford man he's an oxford man from oxford alabama it's like the like it's the only place like fucking where you can get like

four brain cells is in oxford bring me my sunday corn cob pipe, please. I don't know. That hayseed does not match my fucking bib overalls. I'd like the 12-gauge shotgun, please. I'd like my barrels side by side, please. No, no, no. Not the 410. Not the 410. The 12-gauge, please.

We're going to go coon dog hunting later. Yes, right, right. You're a good boy. Christ. So we want to thank our most current patrons, Cheryl, Grant, Thelminton. I don't know. Thelminton. Sure. Grant, Thelmiton, I don't know, Thelmiton, sure. David, Robert, Joseph, Aaron, Sean, Bloodbeard, God Slayer,

which is a fucking awesome name for a band. That is an amazing name. Karen and Matthew, thank you also very much for your generous donations. We really appreciate it. We want to mention that we have reached the goal to the GoFundMe that Don had set up for the Statesboro Food Bank. And we've reached that goal. That goal is now up to $2,600. We encourage you to keep donating.

He wants to try to get up to $6,000. Tom and I are waiting for a payment. And as soon as that payment comes in, we're going to donate $2,000 to the Statesboro Food Bank. I want to throw out two special thank yous for two large donations that came in. The first one is for Bryce, because Bryce wound up donating his entire Patreon this last month, and a little extra. Super generous. Super generous of him to that particular food bank. We want to thank Bryce from Naked Mormonism for doing that. It was awesome of him to that particular food bank. We want to thank Bryce from naked Mormonism for doing that.

It was awesome. And from new that we had a great time with him on our show last time. I also want to thank, uh, funny enough, my wife who wound up selling a piece of her artwork. She has an art, uh, she sells her art and does illustrations and she sells her prints online and she sold an original piece of art, uh, to a friend of hers.

And then she donated all that money to the food bank. So we want to thank Sarah, who's also one of the voices of cognitive dissonance, for throwing in $750 of her own money. She normally gives that money to Kiva. That money normally goes to Kiva. But she decided to donate it to the Statesboro Food Bank. So we want to thank Sarah for putting that in. Yeah, well and truly. That's very, very generous.

Thank you kindly. So we're going to put in our $2,000 in the next, I want to say within the next week, probably in the next four or five days. But please keep donating to the Statesboro Food Bank. We'd like to try to get down up to $6,000. $6,000, that place is running without any hitches for over a year yeah that would be such an achievement to be able to take this this organization which is struggling unnecessarily to pay its bills in order to feed people who are in dire need that the the reason we we chose this uh charity is because it's kind

of a hyper local charity the The counties that are served by this food bank are counties with a much higher than average rate of poverty. These are people who are, you know, by and large, the people who are served by this food bank are in real need. And so let's band together and do something kind of extraordinary and show off, you know, a little bit and show how generous we can be. Because you guys have been incredibly generous in the past for these drives that we've done. I'd love to see the same thing for all of you that have donated in large and small amounts. Really and truly, thank you.

We got a message. This is from Emily. And Emily left a message about the Amish that are up in Wisconsin, I guess. Emily says, I was listening to the last episode where someone wrote in about genetic defects common among the Amish in Pennsylvania. Well, I live in Amish country in Wisconsin, I guess. Emily says, I was listening to the last episode where someone wrote in about genetic defects common among the Amish in Pennsylvania. Well, I live in Amish country in Wisconsin where people get way butthurt if you pronounce it Amish, it turns out.

I guess you can't say Amish. You can't say that. And the families here have drifted into the shallow end of the gene pool too, which is why a strapping young Englishman can make a fast 500 bucks as a donor, provided, of course, he is willing to be the guest of honor at a sort of Aryan-only Mandingo glory hole party

as the husband and father of the woman being bred out have to supervise while the donation is made through a hole in the sheet are you kidding me i hope that that's not a real i hope it's real because i'm looking for pornography with that right now actually i'm a sheep i'm a sheep porn it'd be like fucking an amish god that sounds hot god we gotta end this show soon tom man nothing hotter than i'm a porn. It's just like Amish sheep porn, which is a slightly different site. One's legal. And then she also says, and Japanese make scotch?

Mind blown. Yeah, they do make scotch. They make very good scotch, it turns out. David sent a message in, Tom, about circumcision. Yeah, so we got a lot of messages on circumcision. David said, I just wanted to chime in on the circumcision issue real quick with some personal experience. I'm circumcised and have been all of my life. In my case, however, I have a significant scar and certainly have a numb ring of sensation.

That has certainly minimized the enjoyment of sex. Fuck. That sucks so bad. Yeah. But at least if you become a third world person, you'll have a slightly lessened chance possibly in contracting HIV. I guess. I don't know. Although the studies seem somewhat inconclusive. Yeah.

So, you know, there's a plus side. I got that going for you, David. There you go. Yeah. That sucks so bad. Dude, David's got it fucking coming and going because he's, I mean, this obviously good and he's in kentucky yeah gosh yeah it's just horrible uh we got a message from price and price says price sent us a kermit voice thing that we didn't play last time because we didn't have time because we were like an hour and 52 minute show and he uh he said he was he was very mad and he

said he how is how is it possible now for him to introduce his own counter podcast, Dissonant Cognition? I like that. That's great. I like how he ends it. He says, at this point, you're just going to have to imagine me storming dramatically, yet threateningly out of the room. I like the threateningly part. I know. I'm imagining it.

Now, do it a little slower, Price. Shake your hips a little. Come on now. A little sashay. Tell me you imagining it. Now do it a little slower, Price. Shake your hips a little. Come on now. A little sashay. Tell me you want it. Give me that bored and disinterested look. We got a message from April, and April sent a message that said Tom is therapeutic. Basically, whenever she hears a horrible story, she plays Tom's voice in her head screaming,

No, no, no. Over and over. Well, Tom's just repeating what his wife says all right that's just i'm like a fucking parrot that's all it is no no message we got a message from zach about uh why of europeans think american beer sucks donkey nuts and really uh what i he's saying that um that first off when people when people thought we mentioned american whiskey they thought we were thinking about jack daniels and jim beam i don't even know anybody who drinks those things actually i do know somebody who drinks jack daniels and she can be forgiving she's very nice yeah but other than that daniels got me started

on whiskey yeah i started drinking i started drinking uh good whiskey because I drank Jack Daniels, and I forced enough of that down my gullet to say, okay, never again. Never again. I haven't had Jack or Jim Beam in a long time, so I don't know. I only mix those. Those are only mixers. Basically, nobody recognizes that there can be other whiskeys, like bourbon and things like that.

And maybe that's the thing, is maybe Canadian whiskeys have some like hidden fucking i don't think so actually no i'm thinking about hidden treasures of canadian whiskey maybe maybe that's possible maybe it's possible because clearly what he's also saying is that um in europe american craft beer doesn't get exported out there like it's it sounds like it's just the macro brew garbage that makes its way yeah overseas so also i want to point out too, for instance, because he's talking about based on foreign recipes, he says, for instance, IPA stands for India Pale Ale. So it's a pale ale with distinctly Indian recipe. No, it's India. India Pale Ale doesn't come from that.

India Pale Ale means they put more hops in it so they could travel from Britain to India with it and it wouldn't go bad. Right. Yeah, it's not from India. I just wanted to be, I wanted to be pedantic on somebody's email that they sent us. I feel horrible. I need a shower. I wasn't even going to address that.

What have I become Tom? What have I become? Me. This is interesting. This is from Dan. And Dan's like, in your latest episode you talked about circumcision preventing stds if you cut the dick off at the base you would be a better result

it's probably true yeah the prevention rate will be almost a hundred percent this message this is great this is from michael michael says i love you guys i laughed a lot the last time you were joking about Canada. Whenever Americans make jokes about Canada, I go to the doctor and get my feelings checked for free. That's awesome. That is fucking outstanding. That's really great. This email, this next email, Tom, made my week.

It's very, very cool. It made my week. This is from Steph, who is an albino, I guess. I don't know how you say it in the UK. But he is, and he basically, this entire email, I love this email start to finish. And he basically, this entire email, I love this email start to finish. He basically says that albino is a fucking term that people say to, it's like a scientific term. It's not fucking, nobody's hurt by it.

And he says at the bottom, he says, George Carlin said, they're only words. It's the intention behind the words that makes them good or bad. Words are completely neutral. The words are innocent. He said, so the person who cried foul at the use of albino instead of person with albinism, don't you think it's about time we took control of some of these words and owned that shit? Please stop letting the ignorant win and parting with another perfectly innocent word up to the enemy. And I fucking thank you very much.

Although that person doesn't listen anymore and they're like, fucking, they don't like us. But I think I, I'm totally with you. You know, right. Let's stop getting our fucking panties in a bunch about all these, like,

oh, you said this, or you said that, or I cringed when you said, who gives a shit? Seriously. Are we going to, are we going to like fucking like get our nuts all tied in a fucking knot over

whether or not somebody said a word. Can you not like, can you not understand the the word within the context of the conversation yeah and he said he's like he's like you guys are talking about people who are cutting up albinos that's not a thing that should happen that's not a good thing right and they're not even focusing on that they're like oh i know you guys are trying to do good but you have to say fucking person with albinism instead and it's like well now you're just being a pedantic fuckhead and i don't care that you don't listen go away we got a long message about circumcision from uh this is from bart and bart

just left a very i i thought it was a great uh message talking about whether like like just about circumcision about fucking sexually transmitted diseases and how that's kind of bullshit and like the sensitivity and how that's fucking it's cutting off 40 to 60 percent of the total penile skin that is that's that's horrifying talked about fucking like the anesthesia and how fucking that's not fucking happening it's like all of it was bad it's just everything is bad yeah god it's horrible but he also talks about whiskey and he's got a great line in here he said the first time i had crown royal it tasted the same way that the pink liquid soap we had in middle school this soap dispensers

smelled that's a pretty good way to say it we got a message about foster's beer we got many messages about foster's this is one I'm choosing to read. Hey guys, just a quick note about the beer you mentioned in last week's episode. I'm not a beer drinker, so I can't comment on the quality, but I can tell you

that Foster's is not a good beer. I can't comment on the quality. Here's my comment about the quality. Here's the thing, Michelle. Foster's is not a good beer. Okay, I'm just telling you that right now.

I do drink beer and it's not a good beer. It says, there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding that it's australia's top beer but i lived here for 32 years my whole life and i live in darwin that's an awesome name for a city by the way where it's always hot and beer is the most common hobby along with fishing and complaining about the heat i have never seen a can of foster's beer never at a barbecue never at a sale never on a poster never on tv never ever It's not even made here.

It's not sold here. The only reason I even know it exists is because the Americans in English seem to think it's good. I don't know anybody who thinks it's good. But they do say, don't they say it's like fucking, isn't that their tagline? Australian for beer. It's like Australian for beer, the most popular

beer in Australia, or like fucking crocodiles drink this shit or something. I forget what it is. But in any case, at the end, I really loved how Michelle closed her email. She said, anyway, I just thought I'd let you know because I know you love being corrected on stuff you don't give a shit about. That's terrific. That's very, very great. Thank you.

And it's also very true. Thank you, Michelle. We got an interesting message from Chad, Tom. And Chad was talking about global warming, and there's a long message. And what I want to summarize, I'm going to read the end. It says, so do you think that politicians opposing man-made climate change truly believe that man couldn't possibly alter God's perfect planet? Or are they perpetuating their own hoax in the name of oil money? I think that senators

now this is just fucking i don't know if this is true because i fucking i think that would require the operation of someone's mind to know if it's true or not but i think the what i see from senators actions is that they are uh arguing on the side of the money that they get from the lobbyists so more often than not, and I'm not saying all the time, but I'm saying that money really does influence what they do. And when those lobbyists pay them enough money, they start to find anything they can to bolster their argument. And if it happens to be the Bible, because 72% of the people think the Bible's a real thing, they will look out in the land and be like, okay, well, we're going to use the Bible.

We're going to use whatever we can to try to push this particular agenda for the money that I'm getting paid to my campaign. Yeah, my feeling is the answer is yes to both. You know, I think there are some that believe it with their whole fucking ridiculous heart. And I think there are some who believe it as long as the money in the check's clear. We get a message from Ryan and Ryan asks if we're going to be making welcome mats soon. And we have done some research, and we're looking at getting some welcome mats produced. But we want to get a gauge from the audience, the people who said, yes, I'd love a welcome mat.

Well, we didn't know a price back then. Now we do. And it looks like the welcome mats may be between $45 and $50 at the cheapest that we can get them. I have no idea on quality even from that so i'm thinking the quality can be okay not like fucking you know beautiful amazing like fucking hundred dollar welcome mat for 45 dollars it's not a louis vuitton welcome mat right fucking it's not gonna be made out of alligator skin unless you live in louisiana then it probably will be um but in any case we don't we think that we could probably get an okay built welcome mat for about 45 to 50 if you're interested in something like that maybe we will start doing

it but this is something that we have to sell personally so we have to put all the money into it and then sell these things individually and go through the problems of fucking shipping them. Tom has to go through the problems of shipping these things. So it's going to be a little bit of a pain in the butt. So we're willing to do it, but we just want to gauge that because if people are thinking they're going to get a $10 welcome mat, that's not something we can provide. We can't make them that cheap. We just can't. We got a message from Andrea, and Andrea wrote a long message about – she really likes the show and she talks about several other things about being raised a fundamentalist Christian and we really appreciate the message.

But at one point she says, on a separate topic, I would like to be able to participate in the comments on your website, but WordPress fights me every step of the way. Basically, she's having a hard time logging in to the WordPress account. So I just want to know, are other people having a hard time with the comment section? Because I may have to change the spam filter if that's the case. I'm loathe to do so because I fucking shut our website down in the past. But we do have Alfredo on call who was super nice enough to help us before. So I may be able to change the spam filter back if people are having problems. If you're not having problems, don't worry about it. But if you're having issues with our website,

with the comments, and you want to send me a message, just do it at dissonance.podcast.gmail.com. You can also send it at Cecil to Cecil at dissonancepod.com. Either one will work. And I can figure out whether or not people are actually able to get in and leave comments.

Well, that wraps it up for another show this week, Tom. We are going to leave people with the old skeptics creed because they hate the new one. They really hated the new one. Until next time, here it is. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead

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Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards. Vaccine Nuts. Shaman Healers.

Evangelists. Conspiracy. Doubleak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music you