Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 231: I Can Count to 104!

Episode Date: June 15, 2015

  ’   http://www.gofundme.com/sashga

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hi, this is Linnea calling from the state of Hawaii. If you think Nebraska has it bad, I had to fly over to the next island to even get cell service to call you with. I just wanted to talk to you about your podcast last week in which you were talking about eating disorders. As someone who has struggled with one for a while, I just wanted to say, how do you know that I'm not possessed by a demon? Glory hole. Yeah, hi, I'm just calling about the rant you guys did about Wisconsin. How dare you call us a bunch of wholesome cheesemakers, motherfuckers. We make cannibals look like children, and we eat people, and we make mess.

You guys don't even deserve a motherfucking glory hole. Oh yeah, and I'll take one of those welcome Welcome, NASA. Get one. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. I'm Matt. makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome mat this is episode 231 there is also no posting to any of our social media huh yeah wow yeah you know i i look at it this way okay i'm curious how you look at it this is how i look this should be fun this should be fun to hear i'm kind of very interested in how you fucking look at it tom i look at it. This should be fun. This should be fun to hear. I'm kind of very interested in how you fucking look at it, Tom. I look at it this way.

So I am on vacation this week. Oh. How is that different from every other week on this show? They're like, no, hear me out. Fucker. And so last week, I had to get lazy. You were working up to vacation. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I get you. Because you can't just jump right in the deep end. You ever hear those stories of people jumping in the ice water and they have a fucking heart attack? Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. It's the same thing. Yeah, and you get those when you climb the stairs. Stairs. Stair, stair, yeah. It's the same thing. Yeah, and you get those when you climb the stairs. Stairs. Stair.

Stairs, sorry. If I got to a building with stairs that I had to climb, they couldn't put something at the top of the stairs I want bad enough to make me get up there. It'd be like, up there could be like fucking wealth and fucking good fortune and attractive women. I'd be like, I'm good down here. Can they go downstairs? They're like, sir, it's one stair. I'd be like, I'm okay. It's actually just like a slightly beveled piece of concrete.

Sir, we have one of those lifts on Gremlins. You can just sit on one of those. It's actually just a 4% grade. That's all it is. We're asking you to take sit on one of those and it's actually just a four percent grade that's all it is we're asking you to take a single step that's it so you're like i wanted to lazy it up a little before right so i just i feel like because if all of a sudden right somebody just like boom flip the switch and then you know like our listeners were like oh whoa what the fuck you know i mean there's nothing been posting. What's happened?

You know, but this way I feel like I ramped up to it. Right. By stopping abruptly a week ago. You stop when you stop abruptly. I had a time. Yes. Then the time that you were intending to stop doesn't seem as odd. Exactly.

Nobody can tell the difference. You're totally right, Tom. I feel like that's a thing. Yeah. It's not probably actually a thing a thing. It's not probably actually a thing, though. It's such a dick. It's not a thing. You do two

things and neither of them well. Well, sometimes I do one thing, as it turns out. I want to thank you. I want to throw a thank you out to Daniel I'm drinking a scotch and I'm not going to share any with Tom until he posts Tom doesn't get any of this wonderful scotch that he

sent, the 17 year Japanese scotch you're not going to get a sip of this until you start posting on Facebook that's a good thing I'm going to tell you how good it is. Okay. It's a real good. I mean, it's real good.

Here's the thing, though, is that that is Suntory, right? I believe that that's a Suntory whiskey. And my concern is that that is for relaxing times. Is that what it's for? For relaxing times. It is a Suntory whiskey. You're right. And because I'm already so relaxed that if I make it Suntory time, I'll do even less, Cecil.

Oh, God. You don't want to go down that road. Don't put me down that road, Cecil. It's like you'd be cryogenically frozen if you did less. What could I do less? I don't know. What could possibly happen you could and there's a you could hire someone else to do what you do

i guess there's that i would argue that anybody who argues for sodomy ask them is there any life in the rectum? Can two women produce life? And the answer, of course, would be no. Then the ultimate goal of life is life. So this first story comes from the Raw Story. Arkansas lawmaker has Facebook freak out over Sunday pride parade. It intimidates people who believe in God. I have to say, like, I was just amazed that an Arkansas state senator had Facebook. I read that.

I was like, wow. That is just truly astonishing. It never would have occurred to me that somebody in Arkansas would have access to something so advanced as the internet. That's true. Yeah. I haven't even accessed those things down there. I just assumed they were still fucking knocking rocks together and speaking

from fucking cans and strings. Like, what's that sound? What? Oh, you mean the Lawrence Welkk show what is going on what is that what you never heard that song before? No.

Oh, it's a great song. No. It's Lawrence Welk. It's kicking it old school for those youngins out there. That is awesome. Can you really believe, to be honest, that Arkansas is still, it's actually part of America? Arkansas? Arkansas.

Oh. It's not my Kansas. I just can't imagine. Like, you know, I have friends that went down to Arkansas not too long ago. And they were never seen from again? Yeah, they went down for vacation. And I'm really hoping at some point they come back. Yeah, no.

But it's been about two years. Did you take their last known photo before they left? Well, we sold their house. I mean, somebody took in their dog. And at some point you just you've gone from taking in the mail to just aren't isn't like isn't like the only thing arkansas is like famous for is like wild hogs like that's the only thing they do down there is like reproduce lots of wild hogs and like tornadoes is there like a tornado group of places down there i don't know

it's one of those states like we talked talked about before, that you forget we have. And with this, it's more of like a scrubbing it from your memory sort of thing. Where it's not like you just forget it. It's like when you sort of realize that it actually is part of the United States, you recoil in horror. It's one of those things. States, you recoil in horror. It's one of those things. You just stand at your fucking map, like, washing

your hands, desperately trying to get the Arkansas off of it. Isn't this where that kid from the Twilight Zone sent people that were bad to Arkansas? Isn't that what he did? He hated them, but he didn't hate them that much. He sent them to Kansas. This seems to me to be one of those like red state or like red clay states

you know we're like even the dirt is bleeding in an attempt to die just to be out of arkansas you know what i mean like where you're in you're in arkansas and you're looking around you're like the only thing good here are the mosquitoes and there's like one paved road throughout the whole place. Highway arc. It's like one paved road. The rest are all gravel, dirt, or just a trail that goes through the woods that may or may not be a road. They're all roads that are actually just traps back to some fucking hillbillies cavern. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're like, I'm going to build me a road. Someone is going to tell you that you have a pretty mouth, almost certainly. fucking hillbillies oh yeah yeah yeah where somebody is gonna build me a road someone is gonna tell you that you have a pretty mouth almost certainly so to give you an idea how fucking backwards this the state center fucking flips out on his facebook page drawing the attention of both of his facebook friends he got two likes on this in his hometown of conway arkansas two likes and one comment. His mom commented and said, you go, son.

Although I was impressed because in Conway, Arkansas, they're hosting their 12th annual gay pride parade. Good for them down there. I was all like, man, that is amazing. Because, you know, up until recently, like the parades were just, you know, like fucking hooded people,

like leading the black folks out like a fucking trail of tears. So, like, the goddamn Batan Death March, you know? Get fucking moving. It's a parade, all right. This is their 12th annual gay pride parade, and they do it on a Sunday. Yeah. And he claims that he's doing it specifically to mock the Christians. Yeah.

He's super mad because that's the day the Christians set aside to mock the gays. He says, because they understand that the lifestyle they are glorifying on our streets is considered sin by every Bible-believing Christian. And they use their parade on a day reserved to worship God and the reverence to the Lord to mock Christians. And I'm just like, maybe they just all have the day off. Right. That might just be convenient. He says, this is truly one of the most offensive public displays against Christians you will find anywhere in our state.

And I thought it's probably the only public display against Christians you'll find in the state. And it's especially offensive because they've specifically chosen Sunday to try and intimidate people who believe in the word of God. And I thought, you really think that in Arkansas, where it's probably like 97.75% Christian, it's fucking Arkansas. And everybody's got like 12 shotguns in their truck right now that a fucking gay pride parade down the streets of Conway, Arkansas is intimidating the critics. Oh, man. Oh, scary gays are walking down our street again.

Yeah. Not being beaten. Sure. And they're going to hide in their trailer parks. Are you kidding? Oh, man. Get back. Get back into your den of hate.

Yeah. Get back there. We can't. No, hide. Hide. The gays will see us, and they'll know that we're Christian, and then they'll hate us in their tiny, numerically insignificant, statistically irrelevant numbers. Yeah.

Hide. Run. Run, vast majority. Run. I like this. He says, I submit that the same-sex marriage agenda that came before the U.S. Supreme Court warrants the same response from all Americans. Remind the nine justices that are 96.2% of Americans

should not be forced to affirm the confusion of 3.8% who demand our full attention. They don't demand your, they don't even want your attention. They just want the same rights as you. Just because they're a small percentage of the population, as you say, 3.8%, which I don't know if that's true or not, but even if it is true, that doesn't mean they're not entitled to rights, dude. Now, the

concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire Fruited Plain, and you're going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain. And you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. This guy going to go away eventually?

Dude, I don't know, but he's not going to be president ever. This is from Right Wing Watch. Can you imagine this guy actually winning a thing? I wouldn't fucking vote for this guy for dog catcher. Mike Huckabee, gay marriage will criminalize Christianity? The fucking what? By elevating a lifestyle to the status of a civil right. You got to let me read this real quick.

All right. He says, when you elevate a lifestyle to the status of a civil right, I don't think a lot of believers fully understand or comprehend that once it's risen to that level and our government accepts it, then anyone who disagrees with it could be at least civilly liable, but more likely would be criminal liable. The impact is this. A pastor getting up in the pulpit proclaiming God's word that marriage is the act of one man and one woman joining together for life will violate the civil rights of a same-sex couple. That would make it a criminal act. Nobody's saying that, that you can't be a fucking douchey bigot. The fucking bigotry is right there for you to fucking climb. Make a fucking treehouse in the bigotry, dude. Nobody cares cares nobody gives a shit that you're a bigot and an asshole they just they just want their fucking rights because you can hold still hold a fucking sign everywhere in the united

states even where gay marriage is legal that says god hates fags and you can hold that sign all fucking day long and nothing will happen to you. You can get you can still be a Klan member. Yeah. You can get a permit to march down down fucking Main Street in Skokie, Illinois, a predominantly Jewish community. And the ACLU will actually back your claim to do it. You're this guy is I mean, he's this is just a fucking it's not even a straw man. It's a fucking outright lie. Yeah.

And I think this tactic is like arguing from absurdity, right? It's like they can't argue what's really happening anymore. They can't argue, well, this is just something we don't like. It's just something that makes us feel icky. It's just something that we just don't disagree with. They have to say, well, they're going to get rights. And once you, if you can't stop them now, they're going to get these rights to stop us from fucking saying that stuff right and there's no there what what the what their misunderstanding is that just because somebody has a civil right to be married doesn't

mean that you can't be upset that they're married you're still allowed to be upset about it yeah the only thing you can't do is stop them from getting fucking legally married. In fact, every church across the entire country could immediately band together tomorrow and be like, we are not marrying these two people. We're not doing it. And the government's not going to get involved in it. It's got fucking nothing to say about it. Has literally nothing to say about it.

Nobody is going to force a church just like nobody can force a church now to marry two people i can't just show up at the catholic church and be like i would like you to marry me i'm a fucking catholic they can turn me the fuck away yeah and they would turn me away if i showed up at a catholic church tomorrow would they fucking marry me no not at all they that when my wife and i were going to get married we wound up going to uh to the biggest catholic church in downtown chicago and they said since we weren't actually members there we had to go get married out of town where sarah was from we couldn't get married in the church downtown even though sarah was going to that church she wasn't technically a member there or whatever i don't know i guess get a register or some shit

so she didn't register in enough time and there was no way we could do it for our june wedding and they're just like sorry sorry, we can't marry you here. So they have fucking regulations. Just on the people that already believe what they believe. Right. And you can't get married, like, the other thing too in a Catholic church, I'm pretty sure this is the case, Sarah was already

Catholic, so it didn't matter for me to get married in a Catholic church. I just had to go to like the stuff, that pre-Cana stuff that they make you go through. But some people, if you wanted to go get married in a Catholic church tomorrow, like, not tomorrow, you couldn't do it tomorrow, but if you wanted to get married in a Catholic church. I just go to like the stuff that pre-Cana stuff that they make you go through. But some people, if you wanted to go get married in a Catholic church tomorrow, like not tomorrow, you couldn't do it tomorrow, but if you wanted to get married

in a Catholic church and said you gave them your intent, they would make you become a Catholic. Like you would have to like do all the work and there's like a lot of work. It's not like a little bit of work. It's like a lot.

It's like a fucking written test and like fucking, there's a guy standing over the ruler and there's like a projector and a fucking overhead slides and it's a lot of work. Is there a sexy nun? Because if there's a sexy nun over the ruler and there's like a projector and a fucking overhead slides. Is there a sexy nun? Because if there's a sexy nun, I'm kind of in. There are literally no sexy nuns.

There's not a single sexy nun. It's funny. I just want to mention this because I do work with Catholics a lot. And one of the things is, is that the Catholic. Now, this is not true for the world, but it is true for the United States. There are no new nuns and priests that are coming into the fold. There are no young priests that are coming in and trying to be priests. The seminaries are all dry in the United States.

All the nunneries or whatever they call those things where they fucking make new nuns those things don't exist they're all just sustaining all the older members until they die off really yeah there's there's no then now there's plenty of influx from other parts of the world so like other places in the world have plenty of new recruits that want to do this and become priests in the catholic church in that sense but they do not um they do not have a a steady stream of people in the united states that are coming in and becoming brand new priests that's not a there's there's a few there's a trickle but it's not like it used to be where it used to be like your second son or whatever used to be the guy who would go like if you had three kids one of them would be a priest basically if you were catholic now there's almost nobody going into the priesthood dude i can't i can't understand the

appeal of being a nun at all i can't either i can understand the appeal of being a priest i guess because it's still a position of some authority and you know some traction in the community and you can you know like you you get to be in front of people. You get to be kind of a you're a bit of a moving mover and shaker as a priest. And then you can ascend up the ranks of priesthood. Like you can have a career. Could be a cardinal eventually. Yeah, I can understand.

A blue jay. You just move through the whole like a fucking head, fucking ostrich or whatever. I'm an Oriole. I'm a fucking head, fucking ostrich or whatever. I'm an Oriole. I'm a great heron of this church. I'm a pelican. Well, yeah, well, I'm the blue osprey, so fuck you. Jesus fucking outranks me with his giant hat and huge beak. He pulls this other line here, too, which is just what everybody says about gay marriage.

He says, we have to say we will not move and we will not compromise we must say that there's a line we cannot cross not because we want a controversy or a conflict not because we're being belligerent but because it's such a stark assault on our religious freedom and our christian beliefs that we cannot cross it and i'm just thinking fucking don't get gay married man it's It's real easy. There's no line. You're literally crossing no lines. There's no line you're crossing. All you're doing is just, you can, what they're trying to do is they're trying to stop people

from doing this. They're trying to say, we need to stop people from getting married and being gay. They can't have a same sex marriage. They can't do it. They can't have a same-sex marriage. They can't do it. They can't do it. We need to stop them from doing it because it's a sin. Where's your fucking, we need to stop people from adultery because that's a sin.

Where's your, we need to stop murderers from murdering. That's, and we need to stop thieves from robbing shit. Cause that's a sin. Where are your fucking, where are you on that stuff? Where's,

you know, where's your giant lobby and your political party? And you're going after, you know, different people in political spheres because that shit is happening. That shit keeps happening all the time. You're never fucking talking about that stuff. It's this is the sin. This is the one sin you want to fucking blot out. What they don't want, Cecil, is they they want to be able to be in the majority again.

That's why they're upset. They want to be able to say, look, we want to have this fucking old world bigoted attitude, but we don't want anyone to point out to us that it's bigoted. We don't want anyone to call us names when we call other people names. We don't want to be hated for hating yeah it makes us feel real bad like right fucking i get fucking big weepy fucking hate tears when it happens nobody likes me when i'm fucking hating on other people anymore yeah i used to be the cool kid and now i don't get to fucking beat up the nerds and dump their fucking books yep that's exactly it dude yeah we that's a fucking your time has passed it's over and it's it's fucking showing it's over all over the country it's not just one place it's many places

all over the country are starting to have backlash pass something in indiana watch what happens you know right watch what happens suddenly everybody's fucking flocking being like fucking no you don't and people are going to vote with their feet and they're going to vote with their dollars and you're not going to fucking like it and you're never going to win you're never ever ever ever ever ever ever going to win on that platform no it's not going to work and all these people that are clinging to it are fucking rearranging the deck chairs in the titanic donald trump often appears on fox which is ironic because a fox often appears on donald trump's head

see so do you know who i'm beginning to get a grudging respect for megan kelly yeah i got a grudge for her i'll tell you i got a grudge for her, I'll tell you. I got a grudge. Oh, God. I think there's only one cure for that. Thank goodness. A handful of times she has come out and she has actually, like, just a handful. But a handful of times she has not been the Fox Party line, I don't know, show. Right.

She's done it. There's been three or four instances where she's actually taken it to somebody. And I'm just like kind of flabbergasted. Also, if she would like to take it to me, I'm more than welcome to take it. I'm just saying. She would need, I don't know, like to get airlifted in, I think. Look, I'm willing to make things happen. And look, that logistics are her problem.

This is from Salon. America's a hellhole. We're going down fast. Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly have a testy exchange about the state of the nation. You know, I got to contend that anywhere in the vicinity of Donald Trump is basically a hellhole. I would say. I would agree. That is a hellhole.

I would agree. Megyn Kelly had fucking Donald Trump on. Donald Trump is, I guess, going to be the fucking presidential candidate again. They're all running again, dude. Did you notice that? It's like all the same people that ran before. It really is it's like except for except for bernie sanders who is 73 years old or 72 years old let's say i okay and i understand i know people are behind him i know people are like man bernie sanders he's got all the right ideas

and all that it's like yeah that's great who's he gonna pick for his running mate because i'm not even gonna consider voting for a guy like that until i know who his running mate because i'm not even gonna consider voting for a guy like that until i know who his running mate is because if he picks a democratic sarah palin i ain't fucking voting for him right because he's a million years old because he's he's too old he's a chance he could die a really good chance he could die in office if he gets elected there's no way i would vote for that guy if he didn't have like a fucking rock star for if he picks barack obama for his running mate maybe can he do that i don't i don't know i have no idea i'm sure someone will tell us someone will tell someone's gonna say oh god we'll get told that's

fucking true we'll get told guys once you're the president you can't become a horcrux donald trump is running again i mean that's couldn't be any more pointless um but it's great because megan kelly megan kelly who should be on his side right because he's a gop candidate megan kelly's like yeah well what do you think about the fact that 62 percent of Republicans would never consider voting for you? Well, his answer is awesome because he says Kelly. It says Kelly stated that by asking what he made of the Bloomberg poll that said 60 percent of Republicans and independents would never consider voting for him for president. He's like, I looked into that. And it's only because they don't think I'm running. It's like, no,

no, you don't even fucking hear the question. What did never vote for you? Would never. That doesn't mean if you're running, that doesn't mean if you're not running, it means if you fucking even thought it, they wouldn't do it. It really means like if all people in America were dead,

except you and Donald Trump, Donald Trump is the only candidate. You are the only vote caster. You would still never consider voting for Donald Trump. You would rather abstain from voting or fucking shoot yourself in the roof of the fucking mouth. What you'd rather do is be like, I just want to give up my right and become like, fucking, I don't even know. Let's turn this into fucking North Korea. i don't even want to vote anymore i'm just done he strikes me as a guy who in in his real life is used to making snap decisions yeah sure and then telling people make it happen right so what

he is is he's a guy right and i'm guilty of this at work too like he's a guy, right? And I'm guilty of this at work too. Like he's a guy who basically is the make it happen guy, right? He doesn't come up with the plan to make it happen. He's like, I'm at point A, I see point F. Sure. Someone else has to get me from B, C, D, and E. But he doesn't have any understanding of how you go through that process. And if B, C, D, and E are fucking attainable,

he just fucking sees F and is like, do F, what about F? Are we there yet? Hey,able he just fucking sees f and it's like do f what's about what about f are we there yet hey what about f i mean it's the infrastructure the guy's a fucking moron he's a maroon you know the problem isn't just the infrastructure let's start breaking that down right if it's the infrastructure where do we get the money from right dude you're a fucking you're a fucking low tax kind of guy. Where are we going to get the money? Are you going to pay for it? Where are we going to get all these funds?

Yeah, and the Republicans are aggressive about not wanting to raise taxes. They don't want to handle budget issues. And I'm not even being critical. I'm just saying that they have shown an unwillingness to handle budget issues on the revenue side. They only want to handle budget issues from the expense side of the equation. Sure. So you can't, and whether that's the right answer or the wrong answer doesn't even matter for this conversation

because you can't do a fucking revenue thing like fucking just make new infrastructure. Okay, sounds great, dude. Unless you're severely cutting other programs. Right. What does that mean? Like it immediately launches into, well, where does this money come from? Yeah.

Because you know he's not going to be saying, like, well, let's tax the rich. Yeah. Because I'm super fucking rich. Yeah. Hello, Napa. Hello, Napa. Hello, Napa. Hello, Webber. This is fucking doing it all wrong.

This is from Christian Post. Report, ISIS fighter who enjoyed killing Christians wants to follow Jesus after dreaming of man in white who told him, you are killing my people. I read this and the very first thought was like, man, you shouldn't be listening to religious, like you should not be getting your motivation for how you live and who you decide to kill or when you decide not to kill people from any religious angle. It's not any better. It's nothing changed. It's not any better that he, you know, got some fucking cuckoo vision of some dude in

white and now he doesn't want to kill christians anymore is that just so we're 100 clear that's not any better you're still from a from a how do i make my decisions standpoint how do i know what's real how do i decide how to act how do i arbitrate morality it's not any better at all and even if you read through this guy's stories which i don't even believe by the way do you believe this story at all i don't i don't even care like it's fucking it's okay so there's two options right the first option is that he's lying and he didn't have the dream and the second option is that he had a dream right those are your two options it's not like fucking jesus christ fucking went down and fucking told him not to shoot people because if that's all jesus christ is good for is like coming down

and telling you not to shoot people like that's what you are you're like a public service announcement well the best part is he's not even public service he's just doing it to one dude it's like a private service announcement it's like? It's like that old-timey night owl. Remember when he used to have the fucking bulletin board on TV that no one watched? Yeah, it's like that. There'd be like a message from Jesus on night owl. People have no idea what we're talking about, which is awesome. Okay, so let me explain it.

Back in the day, at like 2 in the morning, some channels – and I don't remember which ones. But some channels would switch to a digital bulletin board where you could send in things and people would post these things on there and they would play music. It would be like a soft sort of music. And it would be like rummage sale at the fucking church or whatever. Yeah, rummage sale at fucking Tony's house. Right. And it'd be like, yeah, rummage sale at fucking Tony's house. And like, you could just send shit in there.

And it was like a classifieds that they played at night on TV just to play, just so people would just go there. And I guess I don't know if they sold spots or not. I don't remember exactly how it works because I was very young at the time. But it was an electronic bulletin board on your television set called Night Owl. And it was local here. I have no idea if other people had similar things where they were from only the oldsters would know this right like the old timey like all the millennials are listening like what the fuck are you talking about they didn't have reddit doesn't even make sense like why would you turn on a television anyway exactly it's a ridiculous thing to do if if jesus really

wanted to actually stop people from getting hurt couldn hurt, couldn't he appear to the leader of ISIS? Yeah, go to somebody with some more power than this guy. Also, this photo. This guy is fucking holding his fucking gun all wankster. I don't know if you see this. It's like all sideways and shit. What is that about? I don't know.

And he's about to shoot a fucking Pastafarian, dude. He is. There's a guy down there. That guy doesn't know and he's about to shoot a fucking pasta fargan dude he is there's a guy down there that guy doesn't look like he's gonna live he's dreaded out there's three heads in this photo that are not fucking intact anymore oh no you know what i mean like those are three heads that are not intact anymore yeah because the dude you know the thing is like if you read the story this guy's about to kill a christian. And he does. And the dude's like, yeah, I know you're going to kill me, but here's my Bible. And then the guy gives him the Bible and the ISIS guy kills him. And then he reads the Bible. And I thought, like, no, that didn't fucking happen.

If you were in ISIS and you are surrounded by Islamic radicals who are hell-bent on murdering, torturing, beheading people who are not of the same faith as you, if you are spreading your faith by the sword and you've declared caliphate and you would not – nobody would run the risk even if you no longer believed even if you were 60 days into service with isis and you thought this is not what i signed up for nobody would hire harbor a bible nobody would you may as well fucking get a fucking reason con t-shirt i just may as well just fucking shoot yourself in the face. You see, there are demons in the earth. Read Matthew, Mark's Gospel, Chapter 5. There are demons all over where Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth. This story comes from the Raw Story. Conservative blogger, Christians who laughed at my fear of demons are far worse than atheists. Grrrr.

Okay. Dude, this is the most butt hurt. I can't believe you guys laughed In my fear of scary scaries This is the kind of guy that checks under his bed For the poltergeist clown every night Is he under there? Are they here yet? Are they here?

I never put my feet down until I turn on the light He's got a clapper He gets out of the bed. I never put my feet down until I turn on the light. Right. He's got a clapper. This is the same guy. He gets out of the bed and he's like. This is a guy who at night when he's going to go flush the toilet, he's like reaching for the light switch at the same time. He's like. He's got to do them both at once.

Or he's got to flush the toilet with the lights on until it's completely done. Right. And then he shuts the light off and goes. That's it. He's still scared to go down in the basement. And I'm like, the basement's real scary. The basement's very scary. I totally need a screwdriver.

But not after 9 o'clock. Are you kidding me? You're a grown man. He's like, the cabinet can squeak till morning. He's a, the cabinet can squeak till morning. It's a grown man. Seriously. I feel that this is more common than we think it is. I really don't want you to be right.

Are you really? Are you saying this is true? I think it is. I think a lot of people believe in spooky shit, believe in demons, believe in that shit. I think there's a lot of people who believe in it. In actually demons? I think so. Like physical demons. I think so.

Not just like a spiritual like. Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. I guess I never really thought that there would be physical demons in the world that thought had never occurred to me even when i was like i wasn't i mean i was never really religious but even when i was like kind of on that cusp i always thought demon was kind of a metaphor for you know like the evil in the world or something you or something yeah like it's fucking bad juju or like whatever. Do you get like actual physical demons?

Do you think there's like demons that can like grab hold of you with their pointy, pointy claws or something? Or make you a sandwich at Quiznos? I don't know. I just wanted to toast your bread. I showed up once as a coyote and took a nap in a cooler. I was better received. Yeah, I just I don't know. I mean, I part of me thinks that this is more common than we give it credit for than we think it's because, you know, you and I look at this and we think this is as ridiculous as believing in leprechauns.

This is as ridiculous as believing in the tooth fairy. This is as ridiculous as believing that if you step on a crack, you'll actually break your mother's back. Like, it's that silly. Yeah, this is throwing salt over your shoulder. Yeah, I mean, this is this is goofy, silly shit that you just like, no, none of that stuff is real. It's like fucking like I don't want to walk under a ladder i don't want to fucking touch a cat i'm afraid of fucking cornfields in the fucking mill whatever it is right like like it's all like but you and i see that and you're like okay well you know that's just a one crazy person or two i i think it's more widespread than this

this guy is not uh you know i i think the guy's a wacko, but I don't think he's like an uncommon wacko. Well, what he's talking about here, this is Matt Wall. She writes for Glenn Beck's Blaze website. And he's talking about Christians who were not terrified of the Charlie Charlie challenge. And see, so we watched some video of the charlie challenge is supposedly this is the best thing it's like supposedly like like a um like a mexican demon and i'm totally not making this up yeah no it's like a weird like mexican demon thing um where you cross two pencils together and then when the pencils because pencils because demons. You know, they had to wait until we had the Industrial Revolution to actually have a fucking pencil.

Right. And, you know, like the Charlie Charlie thing. If it was a Mexican demon, why would it have an Anglo name? Why would you have a Charlie Charlie? That's amazing to me. It's amazing to me. So. But anyway, there's a Charlie, Charlie Dean? That's amazing to me. It's amazing to me. But anyway, there's a Charlie, Charlie challenge. Just so people know, you take a pencil and you balance it on another pencil.

And when you balance a pencil on another pencil, it's like precarious. And then any little thing. No kidding. Yeah, right? And so then any little thing will cause the pencil. Like when somebody snorts or laughs? Yeah, or like somebody opens a door in the room. Or somebody just breathes on it.

You ever do the Ouija board when you were a kid? Yeah, of course I did, man. Everybody moves that fucking thing. Right. Well, this thing is like, this was just a viral marketing campaign. Yeah, for like a movie. It's a scary movie thing. Sure. It's guaranteed to work because precariously balancing things is precarious yeah that's the nature of precarious

and the tiniest thing is gonna like flip it out but this guy says you know he's he's talking about how how dare you as christians do this and how dare you say that it's bullshit to him because demons, he says here, demons exist, Walsh wrote. Surely every Christian must know this. Evil forces are at work in the world. As a Christian, you have to believe this. To deny it is to deny scripture and to deny Christ's work

saving us on the cross, basically. I'm paraphrasing but that's what he says. It's like fucking ugh! Like that's a fucking common thought no that's not just one i know that's not just one person i know that's not just a tiny percentage of people there's a bunch of people who think demons are real and they fucking are actively trying to fucking do crazy shit yeah and he's talking he talks he talks earlier he he says, I will stubbornly cling to the insistence that we all ought to refrain from condoning or participating in satanic rituals. I mean, we have to set the bar somewhere, right? Can I at

least set it there? It's like, well, don't you first have to identify that something is a satanic ritual? If you're going to set the bar, even if if i were to agree even if i were to accept your fucking premise you still have to prove to me that something is a satanic ritual yeah you can't just who are the fuck are you to just decide that a thing is a satanic ritual well charlie charlie is a demon so he clearly says you know the thing is like when you make something up as a fucking as a guy who's like a fucking marketing guy for a movie you get to decide whether it's demonic or not sure either that or if you're the atla ministries you get to decide those are your two options yeah those are your it's demonic the charlie charlie thing it sounds like a candy bar

it doesn't sound menacing at all or it's like it sounds like a candy bar. It doesn't sound menacing at all. Or it's like something you do to somebody to annoy them. It's like licking your hand and touching their face or something. That's a Charlie Charlie. Or he gave me a Charlie Charlie. He gave me a Charlie Charlie. Like you pull one hair out of their nose or something.

Or it'd be like something you find in Urban Dictionary is bizarre sex move that nobody does like you know it's like yeah where it's like shooting shooting the cum on somebody's eyelid and then them are opening it or something that's like a charlie charlie and then like slapping them i don't like all that like crazy sure like fucking donkey punch stuff that nobody really fucking does like it's like the sound somebody's mouth makes when you fuck them. Right. In the mouth. Oh, and it fucking gave her a real Charlie Charlie. Like that sound is a Charlie Charlie. Want to contact the guys?

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or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from the Moscow Times. Russian toddler critically ill after parents turned to church instead of hospital. This is super sad. So in Russia, some fucking toddler contracted tick-borne encephalitis, and they tried to treat it in a church, which is not a place to treat things.

Hold on now. I just want to read this real quick. All right. It says, church employees failed to persuade the parents to take their child to a hospital, and the couple kept the toddler home for a week while his condition deteriorated. Now, does church employees fail to persuade the parents mean that they tried and they failed or that they didn't try? Well, I don't know. What does that mean?

But it says earlier, it says that the parents tried to treat the boy in a church. So that leads me to think that they took the kid to the church for treatment and then another week because the way the article is written and then something happens and then there's another week that goes by. So I'm presuming that they took the kid to the hospital and the hospital tried to treat him for a week. The church, you mean? Yeah. I'm sorry. The church tried to treat him for at least a week.

The way I read it, though, it says they tried to treat the boy in a church, but they're saying that the church employees failed to persuade them. So to me it says that they tried to persuade them, but it didn't work. Maybe. Either way, it's fucked up. Either way, the boy had a 40-degree fever, 40 degrees Celsius, which is 104-degree fever. That's like the fucking temperature that alligator eggs gestate. You know what I mean? Like you could put this kid

and like an like this kid is like a sitting incubator at that point he's a two-year-old with 104 degree temperature now i've never had a kid tom that's like a hospital right well it's at least a phone call to a doctor not a church you know like it depends if you're it you know the thinking now i guess because we recently had our kid with 104 fever and we called and they said well it's not it's not necessarily the fever itself, the temperature itself, but how fast it rises. That's the problem or it's potentially dangerous. It's not the fever in the kid. It's the kid in the fever.

It's not the size of the fever in the kid, but the size of the kid in the fever. He's a wee one. He's a wee one. He's a little one. You know who I called though when I was concerned? Oh, your mom? A motherfucking doctor. I didn't call fucking a mom. I didn't call the fucking local synagogue. I wasn't like, oh, I'd like to

talk to a fucking uneducated yokel about this. Oh, ring, ring. Oh, hello. Hi, you have fucking no experience with this maybe i'll trust my child's fucking health and life to you awesome you may as well seriously call the fucking butcher department at the fucking local meat place like if you're just asking random people just fucking ask the mailman it'd be like calling your church for any other kind of like wacky unrelated advice like oh

my fucking car is making a weird knocking sound what do you think i should do father i don't know and then he's like you should take it to a mechanic you're like no i don't think so so he fails to persuade you to take it to a mechanic right and then just it just dies in their parking lot oh no i'm not saying that the kid the kid died at the hospital. Oh, it's true. That's true. It's probably the hospital's fault. Tick-borne encephalitis doesn't sound pleasant, though. No, man.

I don't think encephalitis is a good. No. I don't think. I think fucking zero out of ten fucking doctors recommend encephalitis. Yeah. Encephalitis doesn't even sound like a good sauce to put something. You know? It's not even one of the better Sesame Street characters yeah you know big bird doesn't know he exists he's only friends with snuffle up yes and he's got a huge head he's got this enormously swollen head like all the kids kids like run up to him like encephalitis i can count to 104

i can count to 104 and then abruptly stopped and it turns out he can't count backwards. He can't. No matter what he does. But unfortunately, he'll just keep counting as your fucking body cools to room temperature. Oh, no. His friend Pertussis is a terrible friend, too. I mean, Sesame Street's really gone downhill. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a bunch of fucking puppets with diseases. It's just a bunch of fucking puppets with diseases.

It's just all these sad puppets like... They're all like Oscar the Grouch, like coughing. Oscar the Grouch is fucking botulism. I eat garbage. What'd you expect? He's got giant tumors all over him. He's got fucking growth sticking out of him. Well, boys and girls, put your hand up if you've heard of the word evolution. Oh, boy, I think just about everyone puts their hands up.

This story's so funny. This story comes from the Huffington Post. His father's lawsuit claims teaching of evolution will hinder daughter's future veterinarian career. So a West Virginia parent of an aspiring veterinarian filed a lawsuit alleging that local, state, and federal officials propagated a religious faith by teaching his daughter evolution. And it's amazing. The guy sounds super duper crazy super duper crazy um he says that this is uh his daughter was taught a faith base not based uh ideology that just doesn't exist and has no math to back it up

i don't even know what i don't even know what that means it has no math to back it up. I don't even know what that means, it has no math to back it up. He's the author of a 2013 self-published book entitled The True Origin of Man. The work reportedly, quote, represents the truth of man's, without the apostrophe, origins confirmed by DNA mathematical and scientific facts. Self-published, huh? Self-published. Huh. Yeah.

The true origin of man. So are you saying like no science publisher picked that up? I'm as amazed as you are. With a name like the true origin of man, you would think that some science publication house would see this as a gold mine. Yeah. The truth of man's. I love that he calls it man's. know some science publication house one would think would peak their interest mine yeah yeah the truth of man's i love that he calls it man man's there's a lot of sick in this article there's so much it just it's just all over the place because the guy clearly cannot write properly

this is just a fucking baseless uh frivolous lawsuit right that's all it is i i think he's i it's he strikes me as a guy who's probably a little crazy right you know he strikes me as a dude who's probably a little bit crazy but you know the reason i wanted to talk about this story was because you you know for a certain fact that this is in west virginia this complaint will get heard it's in west virginia Virginia, this complaint will get heard. It's in West Virginia. Sure. Everybody's related.

This is Ma and Pa's claim. Exactly. The judge is probably his cousin. Certainly. His cousin. His brother cousin, they call him. I think it's brother cousin. Brother cousin. Oh, God.

I don't think it's actually a cousin anymore. Oh, no. You're not stepped far enough away in DNA, you know? I don't know, man. Like, those fucking crazy hill people, aren't they? They're all kind of the same, right? I mean, because they're sharing the same fucking set of teeth anyway. There's no real...

The same, you know, very small batch of DNA that they dive into. Yeah, no, it's kind of a terrifying place, West Virginia. I don't know if you've ever been there. I drove through there very quickly once to try to get out as quickly as possible because the hills have eyes there. I didn't want any coal. So it turns out there was nothing in West Virginia. There's nothing in West Virginia but like the former tops of mountains

yeah coal and poisonous rivers that's it yeah sure west virginia's been fucking ruined oh i i forgot about the roving bands of cannibals that's true it is basically a fucking post-apocalyptic mad max style hellhole it it's a skull-based economy that's for sure maybe maybe this is what donald trump was talking about maybe when he said that america's a hellhole maybe he just swung over to west virginia yeah he's like fuck oh jeez this is that would be entirely accurate i would actually call the man up and owe him an apology why do all of you have one eye bit that's bigger than the other why is that you're kind of weirding me out with that thing i never saw an actual cyclops before that's amazing yeah sorry i'm interrupting your crystal meth tasting my apologies i didn't mean to do that

you're going out to west virginia instead of fucking wine pairings they have fucking meth pairings at the fucking i really really liked the blue, the blue pairing. It's got a... Much better than the pink. It's got a wonderful... Rub a liquor store! The pink has this soapy aftertaste. I like the blue because it has hints of cilantro.

Hang on a minute. My teeth are falling out again. I just got to get that. Yeah, when they talk through their teeth, they just sound normal. Because you press like one tooth together, everything is no problem. There's all that space that's open. You could just talk right through it. Scurvy is the national pastime.

Huckleberry Hound is on their flag. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! Raw story, Pat Robertson, comfort grieving mom by saying God stopped her dead baby from becoming the next Hitler? What? Alright, this is Pat Robertson from Yield 700 Club. Here we go.

Go get them, Pat. From Jane, who says, A co-worker confronted me in the break room and said she can't believe in a God who let her baby of three years old die, suffering a long battle in and out of hospitals while he heals other children. She asked me, why did God allow my baby to die? I told her that I didn't know why her child died, but God sees the whole picture.

We see only in part. What else can I say? Well, what you have to understand, I think, you know, in the Old Testament, it was like God's responsible for everything. Is he not? Is he still like, who did he shirk those responsibilities on?

Because isn't he responsible for everything? Like, when did, like, okay, so he finishes writing the fucking New Testament. He's just like, man, I got to pass off some of this work. Tom isn't doing anything. Jesus. You beat me to it. Two in a row. He brings out the bad.

He brings out the good. He's responsible for everything. He brings out the dead. That's another thing he brings out the bad he brings out the good he's responsible for everything he brings out the dead that's another thing he brings out he takes the good he takes the bad he takes them both and there he has the facts of life uh more and more in the new testament era we have come to realize that human beings have an agency, they have responsibility. And a lot of things happen because of what humans do. I mean, people die in hospitals because of medical malpractice. Somebody cuts the wrong thing and somebody dies. It happens all the time. A nurse gives a patient the wrong medicine. It does. It happens all the time. And

you know exactly what happened here? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. What does this have anything to do with anything? What does it have anything to do with anything? We have no idea that medical malpractice had any relationship to the death or that there was any human agency involved at all in the death of the three-year-old child. This is literally totally unrelated. It's like he may as well be explaining how airbags work. Well, you're going to blame that on God? That's not God.

That's people who are making mistakes. Now, as far as God's concerned, he knows the end from the beginning, and he sees a little baby. And that little baby could grow up to be Adolf Hitler. He could grow up to be Joseph Stalin. He could grow up to be some serial killer. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, hold on. Why did he kill those babies?

I mean, isn't that obviously beg that question? Well, those babies made it. Like, there's been a a there was a fucking there was an attila the hung baby there was a fucking caligula baby you know who grew up to be adolf hitler you know which baby fucking adolf hitler grew up to be adolf hitler yeah and there's a kim jong-un ill baby i mean you look at him he still looks like a baby. A giant, fat Korean baby. Isn't that awesome? He's just like, well, they could grow up to be bad.

Okay. Well, how about all the people who grew up to be bad? I mean, God's just like, maybe I killed him so he wouldn't be more evil. So then the only way for me to make sense of this, Cecil, is if he's saying maybe he would have grown up to be more evil so then the only way for me to make sense of this Cecil is if he's saying maybe he would have grown up to be more evil than the most evil person I've already allowed to exist so here's your comfort mom. It's like an evil meter. It's like a gauge you know how like you have like a like a when they catch the crab they have like that little it's like a little fuck it it's like a little how big it is they just like take the baby and hold the thing they're like nope yeah way too evil yeah and but i'm not gonna kill it in the womb or when it's very young i'm gonna wait till it's three and give it cancer i'm gonna wait until he's three because that way he's got like

a personality that's starting to shine through. He's got his own room at that point that you can go to and weep later. Oh, look. Look at that. He's stringing sentences and phrases together. He's able to express just how much he loves you. And just how much he hates chemotherapy. Now's the time to kill that little evil baby time to murder that little fucking dude who's gonna be fucking the next stalin right no worse worse worse than because we let stalin go

so there's your comfort mom yeah or he could go up to die of a hideous disease god sees all that so i didn't even get a chance to grow up to the hideous disease he just got to three dude and again people get hideous diseases people get the worst there are so many things that go wrong with the human body so yeah fucking unbelievably horrifying shit like that locked in syndrome Oh god yeah God is up there just like Yeah let him have that There's some diseases that are the worst There's like some bowel cancers

And shit that are awful Pancreatic cancer you're just fucking dead at that point You just start writing your fucking will When you get pancreatic fucking cancer There's a disease that I saw A fucking crazy documentary on Where your body starts to ossify like your your connective tissue and shit it all starts to turn to bone and you die by suffocating because your fucking chest will no longer expand and contract yeah no that wouldn't happen to me

i'm just saying like there, there's a gun. Man, I get to a certain point. You get to a certain point, and then you're like, well, now's the day I get the gun or whatever it is that you're going to do to finish this off. Right. Right. Oh, absolutely. Now's the day I get on the plane to go to Oregon or whatever. I'm going to go skydiving, and I'm just not pulling the cord.

Whatever it takes to not do that, because that's not the way I go out. But in this worldview, God is sitting up there. He's like, I'm going to let that one go. That one where your body turns slowly to a statue. He's like a bad goalie.

He's like, oh, that one. Oops, that one got by. Oops, that one got by. Oops. Oops, that one got by. Sorry, boys. I was having a drink on my porch with my coon dog and I accidentally let all those diseases

go by and infect all those kids at the children's ward. Whoopsie. Whoopsie doodle. Whoopsie doodle. And for that life to be terminated while he's a baby he's going to be with god forever in heaven so why don't you like abortion then right why don't we just kill all why don't we just kill everybody immediately if that's what you're saying if you're saying like fucking

that baby is going to be with fucking god forever and ever and that's a fucking good then why the fuck are you all up in arms about abortion? Why do you give a shit? Why would murder or suicide have any impact? Right? It would have no impact. Why mourn the loss of anybody in this worldview? Why would I mourn the loss of my wife or my child at all?

Why would I even give a shit? Why wouldn't I celebrate it? Why would I buckle my kids into the car? Yeah. Why wouldn't I? Why would I check to see if expiration dates were on the food? Why would I feed them at all? Right.

Why wouldn't I just take them to places to get them fucking infectious diseases? Go ahead and play in the landfill, kids. Go buy that stuff that says biological. Let's all just go pet bears at the zoo. Yeah. I mean, we may as well. I mean, go out fucking hugging a grizzly bear, whatever it takes. Who cares?

So that isn't a bad thing. So how could God do that? How could a good God let that happen? Well, the good God is going to take that baby to heaven right now, and that isn't a bad thing. What? If that is the coldest comfort what can you imagine if somebody said that to you my three-year-old if my three-year-old son died and somebody's like well he's in heaven you know just giving giving jesus a snuggle. That's what he's doing. He's up there giving God a big old hug.

Woo-hoo. Yeah. He's up there just, you know, that precious way that he liked to totter up to you when you came home from work and throw his arms around you. Well, he's doing that for Jesus. Yeah. You know, the thing is, is like you've just got to be so immersed in your own illusion that that seems like that fucking up seems like down and fucking, you know, good seems bad. I mean, it's fucking bizarro world when that guy talks. So we want to thank our most recent patrons, Matthew, CraniumOnEmpty, Daniel, Simo, Devaston, RavenousBaboon, Tim, Nicholas, and Aaron.

Thank you all so much for your generous donations. We just recently donated $2,000 to Don's GoFundMe. $2,000 to Don's GoFundMe. And then Don's GoFundMe was for the Statesboro, Georgia Food Bank. And that total right now is almost $5,000. They get $1,000 more now. They're going to be good for a whole year. So there's still time to donate. There's still room for your donations.

So if you haven't donated yet and you think you'd like to try to get them to that $6,000 goal, which is what he put down, please go donate. You can find the link on this episode show notes. This is 231. But please go donate to this. This is a great cause and we're excited to help Don and to make sure that those people that are hungry have the food they need to get by. We also want to thank Richard for his one-time donation via PayPal. And again, we want to thank Daniel for his donation of whiskey, Japanese whiskey to me and not to Tom. So thank you very much, Daniel. We appreciate it. I don't appreciate it.

I appreciate it. Yeah. I don't give a fuck appreciate it yeah i don't give a fuck what you appreciate this is interesting this is from sarah and sarah says hey guys i was just listening to the podcast and wanted to point out something related to the topic uh about muslims refusing to sell pork there's actually a thing uh in britain uh where in other areas europe where muslim cashiers employed by supermarketsmarkets can refuse to scan your pork items. I'm not sure if you have to remember to change lanes

or if they call someone else to do it, but they put no pork up on the lane signs. They put no pork up on the lane signs. That's crazy. If there was a no pork sign, what's my whole cart? Yeah, they don't have Moos and Oinks out there. You know what I mean? They don't have the moo and oink store.

When I grocery shop, it's three things. It's beer, pork, and toilet paper. That's it. What else do you need to buy? If you eat enough pork, you don't need toilet paper. Tom, we got a message about the military religion. This is from Corey. So Corey said, I've been in the army

for six years now. We've always done these prayers, Catholic, before we go drive on a mission or wherever. For the past year or so, I've left my hat on and not bowed my head, mostly because 107 episodes deep into your history. And thanks to your show, I've gained the confidence to stop giving a shit. So my really good friend and leader noticed me today not bow or remove my hat. He glared at me and gave me a jerking motion to remove my hat. Out of 200-ish soldiers, it's me and five others that are openly atheist. Hell, it's now on my dog tags, which they misspelled the first time. But I did remove my hat after that. I'm not sure how I need to handle this situation, whether I should blow it off or keep standing my ground. What do you think, Tom?

I think you're in the military and that's a different culture than any culture that I've ever been exposed to. But I don't think that there's any harm in showing, I would treat this probably if it were me, the same way that I treat praying at, you know, a friend's house who happens to be, you know be religious or something, if they bow their head, I'll bow my head. I won't close my eyes. I won't engage in a prayer.

I won't say amen when it's over. I won't put it to the sign of the cross. Right. I won't do any of that, but I will respectfully bow my head because that's just respecting somebody else's time and the fact that you're – but I guess, Cecil, now that I say that, the difference there is, right? If I'm in your home, for example, and you have a tradition and I don't respect your tradition, I'm being a rude guest.

But this is the military. He's not a guest in the military. This is his workplace. workplace but one of the things that i think you know goes into this of course is that you know you're in a social structure that is uh it's about uh you know advancement and people sort of paying attention to what you're doing and then you know there's also probably you know shitty assignments and punishments that can give be given out for this sort of thing in my opinion it's sometimes the better part of valor to not uh to not fucking buck the system just because it's just going to make it hard on you now if you don't mind that it's going to be hard

on you i you know more power to you but you know just recognize that you know this guy may fucking i don't know but they might put you fucking you're digging fucking outhouses or something you know because they don't they they they get pissed off and they don't like you so i would be careful in that respect but if it bothers you and you don't want to do it, fucking don't do it. Found out some people drink Fosters, Tom. This is from Dave. Says, I feel I must set the record straight and inform you that there are people out there that do drink Fosters. As someone with the tolerance for alcohol of a small child and no discerning palate for anything with any flavor, I find that Foster's suits me perfectly.

I find the fizzy chemical taste and a head thick enough to dip wafers in almost irresistible. Even my own friends' constant jibes and their insistence on ordering a pint of fizzy piss from the girl behind the bar doesn't put me off. I'll have you know that I can quite happily drink almost two full pints of the amber nectar before I start to feel bloated and slightly sick. Don't you dare tell me that Foster's is a bad beer. Thanks, Dave.

That's terrific. Thank you. We got a message from Luis. Luis is from Canada. Luis is from Canada, and he says, I heard you guys bash a number of U.S. states on the show. Could you provide us international listeners with a list of states to avoid? This is great. You know, we bust a lot of rocks on this show.

We're just kidding for most of the states except for Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas, Kansas, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah. That's bad. Wyoming, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana. Rhode Island. Connecticut is no good. I wouldn't go there. Oregon, Washington. All the rest seem okay though.

Idaho. I think there's a lot of great places to go. There's some places that you don't want to go. And Tom and I were talking about it earlier. You don't want to take a tour of the west side of Chicago. That's a place you just want to avoid as far as possible. It's a short tour. Here's the thing.

Any place, if you get a guidebook to the United States, the United States is very beautiful. We make a lot of jokes. the United States is very beautiful. We make a lot of jokes. The United States is very beautiful. And most of the people in the United States are very kind and welcoming. And you'll have a perfectly fine time. You're not going to grab a guidebook to the United States that says like, hang out in Detroit and then go to the fucking west side of Chicago and then swing over to Compton. That's not going to happen. So anything in your guidebook that says, hey, here's a delightful place to visit, is probably a delightful place to visit.

Except for Detroit. All of Detroit is awful. Detroit is a hellhole. It's pretty much been bombed from space at this point. That's where Donald Trump was talking about. We got a message about the anonymous opening in 230 from Micah, Tom. And this is a long sort of email that talks about how maybe it wasn't fake. Yeah, so I'm just going to summarize a little bit.

It says anonymous is not really a social group in the traditional sense. And it's far better understood when you think of the people involved as being computers on the Internet. Much the same with the Internet is created through connecting computers via ultra-high-speed data transfer, anonymous as a distributed social network. He says, just moving on, he says, unless the person who emailed you has first-hand knowledge of who posted the LDS op, they really can't say if it was fake or not. The important thing to remember is that the community works entirely through member actualization,

which means that the op could be entirely real, but with every meme, might not have hit enough critical mass to become a standalone complex. To be more concise, it could have been a real op that died through apathy. In other words, Anonymous, as we talked about, isn't a structured organization. It's not a thing in the sense that you think of things. So who knows? Maybe it was real. Maybe it was fake.

How would we know from the outside? Yeah, especially for the way he describes Anonymous doing things. It's probably very hard to know. So we don't know if it was real or not. We don't want to claim that it was real, but we also don't know if it was real or not we don't want to claim that it was real but we also don't we don't know if it was fake so so if you know if you're fucking the fucking head of anonymous please be nice to us this is interesting this is from uh this is from jamie in massachusetts and he said hi guys in your recent discussion about chief justice more you missed a great opportunity to hold a accountable for this. Roy Moore's conviction.

So Roy Moore was convicted, and then he backed up a five-ton monument of the Ten Commandments into the rotunda of the statehouse. He was sued, and then the court levied a $5,000 per day fee against Roy Moore for each day the monument remained. The churches in Alabama ponied up to pay the fee. Then the Supreme Court Chief Justice was removed from his position after refusing a federal court order

to remove the Ten Commandments. And then he says, you speak against Roy Moore, but you should really be lambasting the Alabamians for, is that a thing? Alabamians for electing him. The overwhelming support for his crusade. And he said, but wait, wait there's more he should have

spelled that m-o-o-r-e but he spelled it regularly he said more was kicked off uh the bench in 2003 for his 10 commandment stunt but in 2012 the people of alabama elected him back to the court as chief justice they've elected this full twice and the champion is and and champion his statements that thumb their nose at the Constitution. So, wow. I didn't realize that that was the case. And we did miss that out because we don't know. But, yeah, Roy Moore sounds like – he sounds even more like a piece of work than he did last week.

Man, that dude is not the fucking win. I'll tell you that much. Holy cow. I didn't have any idea. I had no idea. I knew it was the Chief Justice with the Ten Commandments, but I didn't have any idea i had no idea i knew there's the chief justice with the uh ten commandments but i didn't realize that he'd gotten that deep so that's gonna wrap it up for this week um we're gonna be back uh next week with another episode but until then we're gonna leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune

cookie cutter mommy issue hypno hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms,

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Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Outro Music