Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 233: Big Gay Reich

Episode Date: June 25, 2015

 

Want to stream Cognitive Dissonance to your Android or iPhone? Buy the app! Go to DissonancePod.com and click on the link on the right-hand side of the page. Each purchase helps support the show. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. I'm out. the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 233 of cognitive dissonance and this i believe is a midweek show it is it's a midweek show we we had five mondays for june so we only needed to do one midweek show.

So this is it. We waited until then. We fucking procrastinated until the end of the month to do a midweek show. It was nice just doing one show a week, though. I will admit, that's some nice shit. It was. It's refreshing. I feel like the one show a week format is less work.

You feel like it, but you wouldn't know. Objectively, I can identify that because that's a numerically lower value. Common Core didn't fail you. That must, in fact, yield a lower workload. Sure. Of course, my workload barely nudges. In fact, for this episode because of our schedule alignment i didn't even do the notes yeah no well yeah so that worked out

for me not so much you know not so much for other parties yeah in our organization you know but it's nice to see that we can all pull together as a team as a team and i'm just saying folks this month's patreon none of it goes to tom oh that's fair no so this is the month to donate folks if you want quality entertainment brought to you by a qualified individual this is your month to donate i feel like my performance review this year is not going to go as well as I expected. Abortions for all.

Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others. So this first story, why are we leading with this story? I don't know. This is the worst opening. Okay, this story comes from alternate.org.

Ten-year-old rape victim denied abortion. Why did I laugh? The horrific realities of abortion bans. And this isn't just the ten-year-old. This is a lot of different stories of, like, horror stories because people can't get abortions. Right. Right. And that's really the thrust of the article is that these laws don't actually lead to a reduction in abortion rates. They just – they cause horrifying side effects basically because women are still going to seek – human beings have proven that we are endlessly inventive when it comes to getting the things we want or we need in order to push forward to the next thing, right? Sure.

You know, like making drugs illegal did not get rid of the drugs. Making abortions illegal does not get rid of the abortions. No, never does. It never does. You know, making murder illegal didn't stop murder. Human beings are endlessly inventive. And unfortunately, when you've got a medical procedure like this, the stories that come out of that inevitable drive to, you know, you see a problem, you solve a fucking problem. But sometimes we don't solve the problem real well. You know, the opening story is about a 10-year-old.

You don't have to say it. A 10-year-old. You don't have to say it. A 10-year-old rape victim. Of course, she's a fucking rape victim. If she's a fucking 10-year-old who's pregnant, certainly a rape victim. Like, there's no way she could have consented to something. Who was denied an abortion. A fucking 10-year-old. And I thought, I can't think of a single circumstance where a 10-year-old should not have an abortion if she's pregnant.

Right. No, that's exactly it. Yeah, when are you like, oh, hey, let's fucking get down the wine glasses and toast this thing. Right. Oh, go on your registry. It's all Pokemon cards. If you buy her toys, though, at this this age she could just hand them down to the kid that's not a long wait either tom the toy box will wait i know the toys may still be in style

at that point the batteries could still be fresh if you get legos though they're always in style yeah because they're fucking stuck to the bottom of your feet. Yeah. That's why they're fucking in style. God damn fucking landmines in your house. You know, somebody on our page posted something about, well, why not just go to another state? And, you know, there's a, you know, going to another state is not always possible. And in the article, it says 58% of women in Georgia live in a county with no abortion provider. 58% of women. That's, you know, I mean, it's more than half of women in that state don't have access to abortions in their county. That's amazing.

And, you know, we're so casual about as like middle class people. I think we're very blase in America and very casual about things like, well, just go to another state. Well, just travel a little. Yeah, just go. You know, just hop in the car and drive if you need it. If it's that important, it's worth a tank of gas. But, you know, there's so many people who don't have a car. They don't have access to a car.

No one in their family has a car. That's a reality for a lot of people, a lot of people in America. There are a tremendous number of people in America who've never left the city that they live in, much less the county, much less the state, nor did a lot of people, unfortunately, have the financial means or the educational wherewithal to seek out help outside of what's in their immediate vicinity, especially when they're in desperate times. You know, a lot of this assumes I'll just go on the computer. Well, maybe you don't have one. Right. And I'll get on the Internet. Well, maybe you don't have Internet. Not everybody has these luxuries. And I'll find out who else close to me has an abortion

clinic and then I'll hop in the car and I'll drive there. Could I do that? Sure. Could you do that? No problem. Could somebody living in poverty do that? No. When you're in poverty and you have a shitty car that really only can get you back and forth to work reliably, that's kind of your only hope. Yeah. It's not like you can just get in your car and say, oh, well, I'm just going to go to the next state in this car that barely takes me to and from my place of employment. There's you can't expect people to do that. And, you know, the other thing that I think is is really disturbing is that we are creating these horrors by making these laws.

You know, if you were just to say, OK, we're going to put in abortion clinics, give it. So people have ready access to uh abortion procedures whenever they need them your abortion rates for these horrific things that happen whether it's the mother who's getting into massive trouble because she's taking some crazy amount of drugs to try to abort the fetus or trying to jump downstairs and land on her goddamn stomach like a slip and slide right or like you know all the horrific things that happen because of this the baby you know partially dies or gets fucked up really hardcore or like she partially has it and she has to throw it in a dumpster all those things

can be avoided all the horrors that we're making can be avoided by just providing good medical care and then it's just a lump of cells when it happens then it's just a tiny lump of cells and there's not a fucking there's no moral quandary about late-term abortions because it's just a tiny lump of cells we do the same thing we talk about this we talk about euthanasia we do the same thing yeah you can commit suicide but you got to do it in a really scary fucking way you got to stick a fucking gun up your nostrils in order to commit suicide right you know the same thing goes exactly yeah you can get an abortion but it's really fucking scary yeah yeah you could fucking stick a goddamn you know coat hanger in there like you're playing the fucking crane game but you know that's not a fucking preferred way to do it oh shit like it's

like the fucking like the claw just like reaches in and just slips and reaches in and slips they just take the uterus right out of there and do we really want you know the other thing too is what's the other alternative well we we force them to have the kid well yeah what we want is grudging parents have you ever been in an argument with somebody like your wife and they go to clean the kitchen and they slam every goddamn thing in the kitchen when they're doing it could you imagine raising a kid and your entire time you're pissed off so everything is like i'm mad i'm gonna shake this fucking thing yeah do you want that do you want the child to even grow up in that environment the thing is is none of these people are rushing

to stop children from being with parents that aren't going to love them or being in in poor homes with no help they're not rushing for that they're just rushing to stop the abortions you know and and these are the same assholes who by and large there's a huge correlation you know these are the same people who put roadblocks in place for contraception the one fucking thing if you don't like abortions and you should be so fucking pro-contraception no kidding fucking ridiculous you should be fucking shooting fucking rubbers out of a goddamn t-shirt cannon exactly mounted to your car they float down when you do that too they just float it's just constantly like out of that thing just

fucking rubbers just floating in the air non-stop right you should be coating people in actual rubber at all times but instead these same people like oh contraception is against god's law and you don't you know just promotes wanton sexuality and we should just do abstinence and then also if you get so we won't teach you anything about sex or sexuality or the reality of how people can actually avoid some of these consequences of sexual action. And then later, when they inevitably get pregnant, we'll fucking slut shame them and abuse them and make them fucking get this fucking – have this kid and then maybe give it up for adoption, which is fucking tragic and sad. And nobody fucking wins there. give it up for adoption which is fucking tragic and sad and nobody fucking wins there or you know we will if they don't give it up for adoption fine then you know you can raise it but you have

to hate it just a little bit all the time exactly why why this is none of this is a good and then they put in weird fucking laws that it's you have to fill out a form and if you fill out this form and you say you're not feeling bad they slap you until you say you're feeling bad about it. Right. Or they make you put in your, like, iCalendar when it's going to graduate high school, and it's a reminder for you that you have to remember. Remember, it could have graduated high school today. Yeah, right. It's just like, okay.

It would have been five today or whatever the fuck. But they should put in, like, the real reminders of, like, raising kids. It's like, oh, your fucking iCalendar. Like, you're sitting around in your house that doesn't have kids in it, and your fucking, you know, phone goes off, and you look down, and it's a calendar reminder, and it's like, oh, your kid's not puking on your couch. Yeah.

Like, oh, look at that. I guess nobody's puking on my couch. Your kid doesn't have a 104-degree fever today. Right, yeah. That's nice. Hey, you can go to work and give that big presentation on eight actual hours of sleep. Oh. Wow, that's great.

That's amazing. Your phone should give you all kinds of fucking reminders about what it's like to have kids and what it's also like not to have kids. Like, oh, you know, it's Christmas. Buy yourself something nice. You've got the money i guess what i'm saying is kids suck yeah oh god i wouldn't know

this is why my kids hopefully will never listen to the show. I love my kids-ish. Ish. It's terrible. It seems such a shame that George, for all his brains, could never accept the fact of God having any part in the universe. I'm so thankful that neither of you ever got to questioning things the way he did. This story is from The Guardian. Charleston shooting. Florist Debbie Dills hailed a hero after dealing deals

debbie dills tailing that's a different feeling tailing is a new new term i haven't heard before tom well it involves pretty much what you expect sounds hypersexual though oh you stick a wand with a little bit of horse hair up there pretty much what you expect. It sounds hypersexual, though. You stick a wand with a little bit of horse hair up there. When you mount, she has to whinny. She has to wear a bit the whole time.

There's a bag of oats she's got to stick her face in. It's just a little tailing. Don't worry about it god you want a sugar cube girl you want a sugar cube how about a carrot she just every now and again reaches around and randomly bites you because horses are assholes oh they totally are if you fall off mid-stroke you could be paralyzed oh god oh charleston shooting florist debbie dills hailed a hero after tailing suspects cars

so after the asshole shot up the fucking church and then you know drove away killed nine people drove away got a couple hundred miles away fucking debbie dills uh followed him followed fucking Debbie Dills followed this guy because she had a real bad feeling about it. And then later, her fucking quote is fucking amazeballs. That's the only part of this that's worth talking about. I know, so I gotta read this quote. This quote is so great. It was God

who made this happen, she said of the credit she received. It don't have nothing to do with Debbie. It don't have nothing to do with Todd. It don't have nothing to do with todd it's all about him he answered the prayers of those people who were praying in charleston last night who were holding hands and praying he raised nine people from the dead do you think that while the shooting was going on none of the people in that church were praying for their lives. Yeah, right, right. There are people in a church being shot at. It is almost fucking certain that they were praying for their lives.

Oh, God, no. God's just like, well, I got to wait until he gets away so I can give his license plate number to Debbie. If I didn't make bad things happen, then we wouldn't know that I was the cause of the bad things being rectified. Come on now. Use your nugget. It's like this.

You ever had like one of them real bad twister storms that y'all call them tornadoes. Y'all rip, shoot, kill like everybody in the whole mobile park. But then later, I put a little rainbow out there just so you know I says hi. I saved Mrs. Wilson's dog. I like that God made it happen god is the one who helped tail the car what did he spend his early years as a private eye i learned how to not how to not be noticed when i'm tailing people now debbie watch what i'm doing here now it's it's even easier when you don't even exist. You see, because I'm invisible. I got Wonder Woman's car.

Like, whatever, man. What a dumbass car she'd be floating in the air. She was crazy. She'd be in her jet, and you'd just be like, what the fuck? They could see you, right? You're not invisible invisible the jet is invisible also you fly really weird because you're sitting down you're not like superman i wouldn't you if you were designing an invisible jet first of all that seems really hard

to draw the blueprints for but if you were designing it seems really hard to put together i dropped it how many times you've been building something you drop a fucking screw and it's like super hard to put it together in like a pink viscous fluid you know just so you could put all the pieces together maybe building an invisible jet is like painting your ceiling with that purple white paint it goes on purple and then as it dries exactly but this is like it goes on metal but then as it dries it's it turns invisible yeah i don't know maybe it's just invisible paint we're probably being ridiculous we're overthinking this we're overthinking wonder woman's mode of transportation maybe tom maybe maybe i'm not often accused of overthinking i will will say, too, like, of her quote, why did she refer to herself in the third person?

I don't know. Dude, that's so weird. Fucking Bob Dole. Yeah. Bob Dole doesn't follow people around. You're all sick. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance.

The whole world's gone gay. Oh, my God. What's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. This story's terrific. This comes from The Independent. Pastor Rick Scarborough is willing to be burned to death to oppose gay marriage.

This is Rick Scarborough on National Emergency Coalition Show. This is a podcast, by the way, linked to Staying True to America's National Destiny. Stan. Stan. So this is only 44 seconds of Rick Scarborough.

These folks send in their activists with their lawyers when they find there's a Christian who's principled and not willing to participate in any kind of sanctioning of same-sex marriage, and they sue them until they go into bankruptcy. In fact, the New Mexico Supreme Court, in ruling on the case there, said that participating in the sanction of same-sex marriage was the, quote, price of citizenship in the United States. So we know what's coming, and we're simply being preemptive in saying, no matter what the cost, we understand and we waive the cost. We are not going to bow.

We're not going to bend, And if necessary, we will burn. Okay, buddy. They're going to burn, Tom. Yeah, but the best part is the caveat of if necessary. Right. Nobody is suggesting that that's necessary. Well, no, he also said, this clip cuts off, but he also said he would fight a Tyrannosaurus Rex, too. He would fight a Tyrannosaurus Rexx yeah he would fight a tyrannosaurus

rex he would punch an asteroid right out of the sky right i would eat a live dodo sure and other things that will never fucking happen he would eat a million loaves of invisible bread it's so insane you know it's like i'm not gonna i'm you know you don't have to be set on fire because there's literally nobody's going to set you on is he going to immolate himself like a fucking monk it's not like it's not like there's a tank rolling down tiananmen square to stand in front of here right this is this is an issue of uh you know, tolerance and what we're going to allow to happen in our culture. There is no oppressive regime offering violence as the other alternative. So, you know, and that's why it's totally incomparable to the to the civil rights movement on the opposition side.

on the opposition side, right? Because the civil rights movement, like if you were a black person and you were doing like a sit-in at a lunch counter or you were protesting, the cops would fucking show up with fucking fire hoses and dogs and bad attitudes and they'd fucking whoop your ass and then throw you in jail. So you had to be willing in order to be on that side of the argument, you had to be willing to endure a certain amount of fear and danger and possibly physical duress, right? But there's nothing comparable here.

If gay people get married and you really aggressively oppose that, I still don't understand how you can be like, I'm willing to be set on fire to oppose that. I'm willing to ride a luck dragon. Right? If there's a luck dragon, I will ride it.

You find me a luck dragon, I will ride it without even a saddle. I will duel the six-fingered man to the death. Right. If you find him. Right. All of these things, none of these things will happen yeah he just can make anything up and he can make up he can and they do they make up all these things constantly to show look at what i'm willing look at how far i'm willing to go look at how far i'm

willing to look at how staunch my stance is on this particular issue you cannot move me even with the threat of death don't pay attention that no one is threatening death that no one even cares that you don't like gay marriage i'll tell you when i'm willing to you're willing to incite the people who follow you by saying look at how far i'm willing to go look at how great i am i'm willing to put my life on the line even though there's no risk of my life whatsoever. But here's what I don't believe it, Cecil. Because there is a scenario where I would believe this. I just thought, if a gay couple goes to a bakery and they order a cake that has two dudes on the top of it or something. And the baker sets himself on fire in front of his bakery in protest.

I would be like, okay. All right. That's a guy who was true to his word. I guess. But I would also say that guy's kind of unhinged. I would say it's totally unnecessary to accomplish nothing. It seems like what you'd want to do is go to a trade school and learn a new trade just be like well i guess cakes aren't gonna be my thing yeah you know or just rename your shop like bigoted cakes yeah here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna stay away from

cakes i'm not gonna start a floor shop i'm gonna stay away from photography and i'm gonna stay out of the wedding chapel business yeah right that's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna go get a job doing something that's completely non-wedding related could you just decorate your bigot shop with symbols of bigotry like couldn't you just have like you know bibles in there or something yeah you know just something really offensive a long black cock long black cock. A long black cock. Long black cock. This story comes from the Daily Dot. Muslims are accusing a gymnast of showing the shape of her vagina in her leotard. Says a Malaysian gymnast,

I'm as surprised as you who competed her name is uh farah ann abdul haddi she competed at the 2015 southeast asian games and she wore like the thing that you wear the leotard thing that all gymnasts like female gymnasts wear the fucking leotard thing and male gymnasts wear the fucking unitard thing that all gymnasts like female gymnasts wear the fucking leotard thing and male gymnasts wear the fucking unitard thing and that's a thing are they a singlet is it a singlet or a unit i don't know i don't know neither i know i weren't you a fucking gymnast yeah never i was i was the mat that they landed on i'm like the entire foam pit yeah exactly i'm the i'm the i'm like i'm like what they lay out when the the the pole vaulters or whatever come out to land in like that big cushy thing they land on that's me

i'm like you know like when the when the motocross guys are practicing a stunt and they land like i'm like the giant inflatable pillow thing or whatever exactly yeah they're like i will just get one of tom yeah we can run three courses today. Great. All you got to do is buy him a six pack and tell him to lay down. Yeah. I'll make it halfway through there and I'll be laying down anyway. So according to the Malay Mail Online, Muslims are taking to various social media channels

and they're criticizing Hadi for showing her orat. That's a new word I'm going to use frequently. That's a branded car. It's the Mitsubishi Aurat, isn't that? So, you know, it turns out, I guess, Muslims hate camel toe. That's it. Which is crazy because doesn't it come from Arab countries, camel toe? It's named appropriately.

It is. Come on. They're mad at her vagimnest is what they're mad at. I like that they call – I had to look up what a rot is. And it says roughly translated as genitalia or other parts that should be covered. But they also – on Wikipedia, they call it intimate parts. So you're intimate. Are we talking about like my duodenum?

Is that an intimate part? Well, if you're a Muslim woman, aren't your intimate parts literally everything but your two eyes? It's all of the parts. It's all of the parts except for the eyes and the eyelashes and the eyebrows. That's it. And actually, if you're wearing one of those super burqas that has the fucking... Oh, yeah, the veil or whatever in there? Yeah, where you don't even get to see the eyes, so you've gone full Casper.

What do they want her to do? Dude, I don't know. Wear some sort of full burka thing? Then she'd really look like a ninja. Doing flips and shit? She'd be like, doing all kinds of flips in that thing? If she doesn't have a katana strapped to her back. If she sticks

the landing and throws fucking shuriken out and nails two of the judges. She uses the grappling hook as part of her routine. Just like the floor routine has nunchucks in it now. She kills one of the judges from behind, throws a smoke bomb and disappears. Disappears at the end of her routine. Everybody's looking around holding numbers like, I gave you a 10. I gave you a 10.

Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. You know, I was at the pool the other a 10. I gave you a 10. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. You know, I was at the pool the other day, so I went to a water park with my family and there were a couple of women at the pool who were wearing the fucking burkini thing. No kidding. Yeah. I was going to take a picture, but that struck me as horrifyingly bad taste. A photoshop photo of burkinis seems like a thing that you could get beat up for.

I feel like that's probably a truth. Yeah. So I did not. It also just seemed like it was a horrifyingly bad taste. Oh, yeah. It would have been a terrible taste. You know. But it was sort of like, how are you having any fun?

First of all, going swimming is the only time it's okay to walk around in your fucking underpants outside. Right. And everybody's just cool with it today. It's like all of a sudden we're just okay. Everybody's just going to wear their underpants today. And you're just like, cool, underpants day. You know, like it's for no reason. Here's me in my underpants.

Oh, yeah. And we're wet. So it's fine. But these poor, like, it's fucking hot. It's like 85 degrees out it's fucking humid as shit they're covered fucking head to toe dude and they're in the water but it's like it looks super fucking heavy like it's all made out of cotton so i was just like that's gotta soak up all the water yeah all the water gotta be a good swimmer yeah man i mean they

were in the kids pool they were like waiting around in the kids pool because i think that's an issue like i think if you went into a pool where you had to swim you'd be like i'm fucking swimming in blue jeans man that's not a thing i like the response though i guess the the um the minister the uh for youth and sports uh it says i'm gonna read the tweet it says in gymnastics pharaoh wowed the judges and brought home the gold. In her deeds, only the Almighty judges her, not you. Leave our athletes alone. Basically calling them, and then there's one point where somebody's calling them like a pervert. Like, you're the one who's bringing this to the table. It's not anybody else.

It's you who's bringing these dirty thoughts to the table. She's just a girl. You're the one who's looking at her lustfully. It's not her who's dressing in a way that's going to that's that's somehow tempting well in her response i thought was actually quite poetic and awesome she said empty cans make the most noise i like that too dude that's fucking awesome that's a shut the fuck up moment if ever there was one story so fucking pathetic this story comes from the friendly atheist blogs at Patheos.

Christian evangelist raising money to give Bibles to starving homeless Iraqi refugees. Huh. So, fucking Christian evangelist and Repent America director Michael Markievich is raising money because he's gonna send some fucking bibles to iraq his project is called bibles for iraq right so you know exactly what they're getting right he's just he's gonna fucking ship him some bibles so a bunch of it's not bibles and sandwiches right it's not like bibles and tents yeah you know or Bibles in first aid kits. It's just fucking bibbles. Like, here's your bibble, guys. If I'm fucking starving and in a fucking shitty refugee camp and struggling to fucking keep myself and my family alive, I'd burn that fucking book out of spite.

Yeah, no kidding. I would burn it even though I don't need to burn anything in the fucking hot desert for heat and also you're looking at uh in iraq you're looking at a place that could feasibly you know these people could wind up being uh again overrun by uh islamic militants what happens if you have a bible on you what if you leave the camp with that bible and you happen to have it with you nightmare fuel exactly and this fucking asshole even acknowledges he says quote this is his fucking quote as most refugees are illiterate and then who cares what else he says so so here's homeless starving people receiving a book they can't read that puts their lives in increased danger. You're not even sending them something useless. You're actually making their lives objectively worse by sending them this book.

No kidding. You may as well send them a picture of fucking your running water. I should just take them a fucking picture of myself like like a fucking selfie like eating fucking chicken wings i'm not even hungry is the caption or like your your peaceful street at night it's just a peaceful street no there's there's no explosions right now yeah right exactly oh what's that i hear nothing but the sounds of beautiful nature and the scenics yeah like how much more could you fucking rub it in their face like i'm sending you this bible i will have you know i filled the fourth bedroom of my house full of bibles you

know why it's an extra bedroom we all get one and there's an extra we don't even fucking use use it it's just a fucking superfluous goddamn room. How's your fucking tent in the desert? Fucking what an asshole thing to do. How's your rations? Yeah, exactly. I don't even understand how you can do this. You give them a bunch of Bibles.

You're not even giving them like Ziploc bags filled with hope and love of the Lord. That and a thing of Smarties. You know, something. Can't you? This is worse. They all get a free lollipop like they're visiting the dentist. This is worse than the candy drives for soldiers after Halloween where everybody donates the worst candy. Where it's like, oh, yeah, here's fucking like a bunch of dum-dums and then those weird peanut butter things that nobody eats.

You know what I'm talking about. Those fucking red and orange things. Oh, great. Here's waxy chocolate. I love that. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com.

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So this story comes from the Barrier Breaker blog at Patheos. Westboro Baptist Church says God sent the Charleston shooter and plans to picket the funeral. Yeah, they are picketing the funeral, but I think the media got it wrong. They're going down there with signs that say God hates Confederate flags, I think. Okay, I'm kidding. They're not doing that. Oh, God. It's just like this is just a terrible group of human beings.

That's just what it is. They've got a video though of like somebody somebody doing the charleston like they're trying to be like like like that's as that's as mean that's about as mean as you can get and then they've got a sign with fucking bloody handprints you know it says god sent the killer that really is i mean they are degenerates but the charleston thing and and the music i'm going to play a clip of the music here it's a vine so that's the music that plays with it's fucking just i you know we've done some really low class jokes oh yeah we've done some really lowbrow

things yeah we'll do more and we'll continue to do them but i i can't look at this the thing is is like like i can look at this and say maybe somebody wanted to try to be funny but i can't find any humor in that right now it's so mean and then and then what they say like in one of their fucking tweets is the blood of the charleston shooting is shooting dead is on hillary clinton's hands what the fuck does hillary clinton have to do with that that's how she stays young she takes the blood of all the dead people just bathes in it she just bathes in the dead people blood especially anybody who's been shot by assault rifles oh my god she's oh shit i do not think that this is going to go over well no no they're not going to be received with fucking open arms didn't they try to did they

protest the new town thing did they do the new town do you remember that i thought they said they were going to in the name they didn't yeah i think they would have been fucking torn limb from limb i think i think that they could get torn limb from me i mean a white church goes down to say that the god sent the shooter yeah on a racially motivated attack dude that's gonna who the where is that gonna play well yeah nowhere man fucking nowhere is where it's gonna fucking play well it's you know at some point and i don't wish this on them because you know it's their right to be assholes but let's be super clear they're the fucking worst excuses for quasi human beings possible this is mean and cruel and calculating to cause the

maximum amount of emotional suffering and there is going to come a time where they are going to become the victims of some pretty intense violence i i really do think that they're going to push the wrong dude's buttons at some point and that shit is not going to fly. Yeah, this is not a poof. It's just, it's just, the thing is, is like, I can understand if somebody's making a joke, right? I can understand if somebody's making light of a situation. You can even make light of this situation if you do it well, if you're funny about it. And you could be, you could be distasteful about it, but they're not trying to be funny. They're trying to be mean.

And there's a difference there. Yeah, there's a huge difference. It's not funny because I know their fucking intent and their intent is to hurt people's feelings yep their intent is to compound suffering as much as humanly possible yeah that's and they've proved that over and over and over again they're the most degenerate people around now the concern obviously is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire Fruited Plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa,

and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Kevin Swanson, gay marriage will lead to the murder of Christians. This Swanson guy, this is the same guy who likes to call gay marriage neurotic. So he's going to use that word throughout this piece. So this is Kevin Swanson, right wing radio host from his show, The Swanson Affair, whatever it's called. The neurotic agenda, which is growing across the United States, at least two-thirds of the states and probably all the states, are moving in that direction right now. The Supreme Court decision coming down in just a few days or maybe a week or two will be indicative as to what direction this nation will take, whether or not Christians will be persecuted, whether Christians will be fined, whether they'll be put in jail in the next four or five years.

Critical, critical issues right now affecting the Christian church. Why? Because of the rise of Nero. You say, well, what's the rise of Nero? The rise of Nero is the rise of a ruler, a ruling governing class that is supporting the idea of homosexual marriage, which was – Wait, so like the corporations? Yeah, right. Is that the ruling class? The ruling class is not a bunch of gay dudes. supporting the idea of homosexual marriage, which was... Wait, so like the corporations? Yeah. Is that the ruling class? The ruling class is not a bunch of gay dudes.

I love the idea that there's a secret room, except for it's not called a cabinet, it's a closet. Initially supported by Nero, he's the first one in history that we know of that endorsed homosexual marriage and then went on to torch Christians. Nero is never content to just do his homo thing. He's going to burn Christians. Homosexuality is going to be in the closet or Christians will be in the fire. I wrote an article on this.

It was published in a Christian newspaper in Colorado in 1992. going to be in the closet or christians will be in the fire i wrote an article on this that was published in a christian newspaper in colorado in 1992 shut the fuck up dude i wonder if the article that he wrote is any less fucking coherent than that statement nero nero is never content to just do is that nero's dead super dead we're not like it's not like like he's gonna be fucking gay cloned and then fucking made you you know fucking emperor of america or something he's dead dude he's dead he's not fucking in charge yeah who cares i love the idea that he keeps everybody keeps saying these crazy things are going to be happening that christ Christians are going to be burned and that people who are against gay marriage are going to be going through some sort of – they're going to put their life on the line. No, they're not.

It's not going to happen. No. Oh, my gosh. Are you serious? Well, look at the states. Look at the fucking incredible impact that gay marriage has had on the states that have it clearly there's been a rise in christian murders and burnings right i know yeah and all those states there's just been no instances they're like hanging people with rainbow nooses

long long time ago that was well before the homosexual majority took over and what sexual majority what who i don't even know what to respond to that when is when did they get a majority a majority where a majority of what yeah like a like a majority like in congress like where's the majority and like a majority of the 500-plus people in Congress are now gay? You know what it is? It's a majority of people don't give a fuck anymore. That's what it is. Yeah, I know.

It's a majority of people don't give a shit what somebody else does in their goddamn bedroom. Right. It's like, I did a thing with my body. Awesome. Do you have orange juice? Because I don't care. But I am thirsty. Who gives a shit? Of course, America has turned to embrace homosexuality en masse in just the last ten years.

It's the most radical moral shift of all the moral issues in America. The most radical moral shift, according to a Gallup poll that came out just a couple of days ago, the most radical shift was in the area of support for homosexuality. Why? Because Nero is out of the closet and Nero is hell bent to burn Christians. What is he talking about? Cecil, I don't honestly even know what he's talking about. Nero's out of the closet.

Nero has come out of the closet and he's fucking gay and dead. Was Nero a gay bar somewhere? I seriously, are you seriously talking about somebody who is so fucking dead that nobody fucking, people barely remember who he is? Yeah, well, I mean, come on. To be fair, he's only been dead for 2,000 years. Yeah, right. Yeah, only a couple thousand years. So. To be fair, he's only been dead for 2,000 years. Yeah, right. Only a couple thousand years. So he could be back any time. He's still good!

He's still good! Maybe he's just resting his eyes. Yeah. And his heart. And his brain. And also turned to dust. All the rest of his tissues. Is Nero like a gay demon? Is that what he's trying to do? I'm Nero. And I endorse homosexual marriage. This message brought to you by Nero like a gay demon? Is that what he's trying to do? I'm Nero, and I endorse homosexual marriage.

This message brought to you by Nero, long-time emperor. He's a gay demon with rainbow wings. And endorse homosexual marriage. And I'm going to talk about this in a moment. Tony Campolo has finally come out in full support of nero he was not in support of nero he's not in support of nero he's in support he's in support of gay marriage well that's nero nero is the here's the thing nero is just a metaphor for gay marriage right what i think they think's going to happen is, you know how when sometimes the pork gets tacked on to bills

where you have, we're going to have a pipeline, but we're going to have to sell bacon at 50 cents a pound. You know, like some weird thing that gets tacked on the bill or, oh, this is a property bill, but we also want to add an extra fine for workers in a construction zone if you hit a worker or something there's like all this weird backhand sort of back uh backroom deals that go on with these bills that they tax shit on that's what he thinks is going to happen is that they're

going to pass a gay marriage bill but they're also going to pass attack onto it somehow you can burn christians and you're fine well even if you could i still wouldn't want to right you know like i think that's the other thing is that like even if even if even if cecil there was a law that said like hey man if you want to just go burn a christian that's fine i'd be like i don't kill folks yeah i don't do this i don't do it especially horrifically for no reason i'm gonna pass and actually it turns out that if i'm the kind of person that kills people for I don't do this. I don't do it especially horrifically for no reason. So I'm going to pass. And actually, it turns out that if I'm the kind of person that kills people and would actually get pleasure out of that, I'm also not dissuaded by the law. You have somebody tied up in your backyard.

You've poured gasoline on them and you're flipping through the law book just to see if it's legal. Well, it says. Is this legal? Page 389. Can you look poured gasoline on them and you're flipping through the law book just to see if it's legal well it says is this legal page three can you look this up on google real quick i just want to see if i can burn our neighbor alive is that okay call the police just dial 3-1-1 it's not an emergency i can wait fine so this is a dividing line for the good and the evil that which is in favor of righteousness that's which is in favor of christ and that's which is anti-christ it's the way the beast always works remember the woman writing on the beast in revelation 17 her cup was full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication and and that And? That kind of sounds awesome.

That sounds really awesome, actually. Yeah, I would. I would love to have a cup overflowing with its fucking fornication. I'll tell you what, my cup doesn't overflow. I'm just saying it's half empty, you know? I think there's a hole in the bottom of my cup. I'll have another cup. I finished all my fornication. Can I have another cup. I finished all my fornication.

Can I have another cup? I like my fornication like I like my coffee. Black. Would you like some more fornication? Maybe about 15 minutes. Yeah, no, I got to let this settle. I just had a little fornication. I got to get it tamped down a little bit. I'm not this settle. I just had a little fornication. I kinda gotta get it tamped down a little bit.

I'm not saying no. I just want to be clear. Here, just leave the menu. Come back in a few minutes. She was drunk with the blood of the saints. So remember, they come together, friends. I'm not saying that this is the final and ultimate application of Revelation 17.

I believe it's something of an application we can draw here's a guy who thinks revelations is a real thing folks yeah that's uh here's a guy who's looking at fucking verses of revelation and saying oh fuck that's a real thing that we need to be afraid of and he's talking about like how to interpret it into the modern day world to to match his fucking worldview like yeah that's he's talking about how to interpret it into the modern day world to match his fucking worldview. He's not just deciding this is a bunch of fucking historical jibber jab. Why? Because these powerful forces, these harlots that ride on beasts.

Why are you talking harlots that ride on beasts? He's talking about the hell's angels. Dude, I'm interested. I guess is what I'm saying. Harlots that ride on beasts. I'm interested i guess is what i'm saying i'm actually gonna fucking i'm buying that website harlots that ride on beast.com i'm renaming my penis the beast somebody's got to start somebody that would be amazing it should be full of just like and it should just be it should just be pornographic pictures of of women on different beasts right like here's a fucking naked woman on a pig like

okay again i'm not saying no or a bunch of women tailing like we mentioned earlier that have such incredible power over the governments of men tend to embrace abominations and fornications and on the on the other hand, are drunk with the blood of the saints. None of that means anything. It literally means nothing. You are saying nothing. You are just, he is reading from a book and saying that it meant, it's fucking nothing, dude. Blood of the saints?

What the fuck are you talking, is that a kind of candy bar? What is that? I'm actually really curious about this in practical terms, because don't you have to be dead to be made a saint? It's like a fucking nightclub drink. Hey, can I get a blood of the saints? Is there any way I can get? Don't you have to like. That'll be $26.

We only make those top shelf blood of the saints. Fine. I am the harlot who rides on beasts after all. Come on. Can't you put some cheap vodka in there? They love to persecute Christians and they love their sexual decadence at the same time. So this is the very essence

of the most evil forces that have ever existed in the history of the world as recorded in Revelation 17. So please understand that Nero is never content just to do his homo thing. He's got a torch Christians in his gardens.

That is the dumbest thing we've ever listened to. Really? That is the dumbest thing. I'm fucking stupid for having listened to that. And I agree. What a dipshit. That was three and a half minutes of fucking nothing. Can you believe that?

Nothing. That was amazing. That's just somebody who is reading an old book and vaguely making references to nowadays. It's so fucking weird and crazy that there are actual people who walk around and can operate microphones and presumably like vehicles and think like this. That dude's got an audience, man. Do you think his audience is bigger than our audience? That dude, I don't know, but that dude's got an audience. That guy has people who listen to him.

He's on a little hate-filled station, and he broadcasts probably every day. W-H-A-T. Hate. That's actually just what. God damn it, I bought the wrong call sign. Everybody just listens and goes, what? It's actually appropriate in every direction

they say that i make the contention that gays caused the holocaust this is wrong i've been very clear in my writings and everything i've said that the nazi party is responsible for the holocaust but how did the nazi party come into? The Nazi Party, ladies and gentlemen, was formed in a gay bar in Munich. And historians agree that Hitler's earliest enforcers, the stormtroopers, the brown shirts, were almost without exception homosexuals. So it was homosexual thugs that helped Hitler to form the Nazi nazi party in other words no homosexual thugs no homosexual brown shirts no homosexual stormtroopers no nazi party so this story is from also from right wing watch uh brian fisher if you're gonna take down the confederate flag

you should also remove the rainbow flag of the gay reich gay reich it's awesome yeah immediately my thought is like well i guess maybe when one flies over a state capital we could have a conversation yeah well let's listen to what uh brian fisher had to say on on his show his radio program uh when talking about the confederate flag this is brian fisher from his show, his radio program, when talking about the Confederate flag. This is Brian Fisher from his show. If we are going to remove symbols of oppression from our culture, if we come to the point where we say, hey, any flag that represents bigotry, any flag that represents hatred, any flag that represents slavery or oppression needs to be removed, then I want to suggest to you that the next flag to go

ought to be the rainbow flag of the gay Reich. The rainbow flag represents the homosexual lobby. It represents big gay. How do you know how big it is? Big Gay. How do you know how big it is? Big Gay. That's like a gay bear bar, isn't it? Big Gay. Big Gay.

Hey, Big Gay. How you doing, buddy? He's been watching the South Park movie, man. He thinks Big Gay out. He's a really nice guy. Leave him alone. Jeez. It represents Big Gay. Big Gay. That's amazing. movie man he's a really nice guy yeah leave him alone geez it represents big gay big gay that's amazing that's amazing that you said that you actually could have said anything that sounded

more fucking stupid until unless you turned into that fucking kevin swanson guy big gay big gay it represents what i'm calling for the first time today i'm introducing a new term the gay reich they've got a flag just like like the Nazis had their flag. Thanks for that. Oh, good. He introduced a new term. That seems like an appropriate term. Yeah.

Awesome, Shakespeare. Let me know when that one fucking makes it into the fucking literary canon. It's going to go into the lexicon real soon. Again, I'm not saying that they're Nazis. I'm not saying that. I'm saying the Nazis had a flag. The Confederates have a flag. The United States has a flag flag and the gay lobby big gay the gay gestapo they've got a flag i'm not saying they're nazis saying that they're nazis but i'm using other terms to say that

they're horrible yeah i'm using other terms to compare them to horrible conflate them to yeah nazis so yeah i'm not saying that they're Nazis, but the SS big gay fucking strike force will begin their blitzkrieg at any moment. Yeah, when they do the blitzkrieg, though, they use a lot of lube. There's just a lot of lube. In a few minutes, he's going to insinuate that they attack fucking Russia.

I love that he's saying Gestapo. And Gestapo, that's German. That's Nazi Germany. Yeah, right. I'm not saying Nazi Germany. Nazi Germany. Yeah, okay. All right.

You said it, though. And it's the rainbow flag. And I'm suggesting to you that that flag is a symbol of slavery and oppression and bigotry and prejudice and bias because i'm making it up right now yes that's the thing i'm saying it and there's no fact and no there's no basis in truth whatsoever to that so if we're going to go after symbols of oppression we ought to make the rainbow flag the next target for removal in our culture. What a fucking fool. Golly. Nobody believes this shit, though.

That's the thing. Here's what I think. When you say these guys have an audience, they do. They have an audience. But their audience is similar to ours, Cecil, in that his show is a preaching to the choir show, too. Nobody's going to come to Brian Fisher fucking und like he's not gonna nobody's gonna come to brian fisher fucking undecided about something that's true and then walk away convinced you know you're never gonna be walking walking away convinced of big gay if you didn't believe in big gary yeah yeah or if maybe you weren't just a little turned on by big gay the bigger the better as it turns out

i love the big gay bearded ones well that's gonna wrap it up for this episode this uh shorter episode of cognitive dissonance we'll be back on monday with another full episode uh and we will leave you, as we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cars psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers bir wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Dairy Council. you