Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 234: That Will Solve Literally None of the Problems

Episode Date: June 29, 2015

  Excerpts from Conservapedia article on Faith

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey, it's you, Selin Tom. This is Elizabeth. I just called about what you said at the end of your last podcast about babies and what Pat Robertson said about them being in heaven and, like, that's okay. That's really common with a lot of Christians. I've been to a lot of funerals where family members have died, and everybody says the same thing. Oh, it's okay, because now they're with God. Like, that makes everything better. And that's honestly what they believe, that we should be celebrating that they're no longer with us.

I think it comes from a misguided trying to effort to comfort the other person. Like, oh, well, they're no longer in this horrible, terrible world. Now they're in a perfect world. And we're just supposed to ignore the pain that we're feeling because a lot of Christians believe that it's selfish to want that person with us. Anyways, glory hole. Hey, guys, this is Tucker. And I think the reason the Fox folks are unwilling to admit that the Charleston shooting was because of racism is that it forces them to say, yes, he's a Christian, but he doesn't represent all Christians. And that kind of disrupts their whole narrative when it comes to things like,

we've got to kill all these Muslims because, you know, they're all violent. They're all hell-bent on killing all of us. Glory hole. Hi, people in town. This is Esme, and I just was listening to your last podcast, and you were talking about in the beginning of the podcast the idea that the same people who are against abortions are also anti-contraception.

But I wanted to note that the other thing that people that are pro-life, quote-unquote pro-life or anti-choice are also famously, you know, tend to be very pro-death penalty. So they don't have a problem with killing people. They just don't like giving women choice. That's what it's about. It's not about the sanctity of life.

It's about eliminating choice from women. Anyway, Wario, love you guys. I just want to say that this cognitive dissonance is evil and perverted, okay? Listen, I'm pleased that Tom and Cecil go to hell. I hate Tom and Cecil. I have no love for them. Totally want to check out this glory hole, though. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I really want to check it out.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago. Actually, no, I'm actually recording from Chicago, not from Glory Hole Studios, but it's in the same spirit. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode, we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat also again there's no tom see tom this week uh contracted an illness uh he was quite sick uh we recorded luckily we recorded on tuesday and we wound up recording quite a bit of material actually we recorded uh

almost two hours worth of material uh i edited it down it got down to i want to say it was like an hour and 40 minutes or thereabouts what we were planning on doing was we were going to take uh maybe about 30 more minutes worth of material specifically with the uh with the brand new supreme court ruling on gay marriage which i think we can all just call marriage now. We wanted to maybe spend 30 minutes or so on that. And then we were going to do an email segment. So we had a nice long show planned, but Tom got quite sick. First, he called me, then we prayed about it. That really didn't do anything. Then we got Vanny the food babe over. She basically told him to eat clean. Mostly she told him to eat

less. And then she told him not to eat as many chemicals. He tried that. It didn't work. So then he started eating his fortune cookies. That didn't work. He tried pseudo-quasi-alternative action punctuating, pressurized sterile pyramidal free energy healing. That didn't work. He tried cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, tarot cards.

We did a psychic reading. That wasn't very useful. He rubbed his crystal balls. Again, nothing. We went to a church, a mosque, a synagogue. You get the idea. None of these things worked, so he wound up going to the emergency room, which did work, turns out. He got some pain medication. He wound up getting some other treatments for his sickness, and he was sent home. but he was so sick that he could not record a podcast this week uh very very ill so uh so we hope that tom gets better very soon uh but he is not going

to be around but luckily like i said we recorded quite a bit of stuff so we have about 40 minutes or so of time we do an actual what the actual fucking sort ofopedia this episode. And we try something new because the Supreme Court decision was so earth-shattering and also so infuriating to certain people. We are going to read some of Brian Fisher's best tweets

from the past couple days. So we're going to do that a little later on too. But the show's going to be a little short this week. But we hope to have a nice long show next week. If Tom is feeling any better, we hope he is. And we're hopefully, this is again, we're seeing, but next week we are scheduled to record with Jake from the Imaginary Friends show.

So he'll be on our show. We'll be on his show. A little over the seas, circle jerk reach around, whatever you want to our show. We'll be on his show. Little over the seas. Circle jerk reach around. Whatever you want to call it. We'll be doing that next week. So we'll have hopefully a nice long show. Scheduled for next week.

And we'll give a whole bunch of extra material. Because we'll be on his show as well. So without further ado. I will give you the pre-recorded material. That we had the other night. When I recorded with Tom. What makes you think she's a witch? Well, she turned me into a newt! A newt?

Got better. Burn her anyway! Burn her anyway! So this story comes from the Daily Dot. It's awesome. Witches are furious at Etsy for banning the sale of spells. I was confused so much by this article because when I go to Etsy, it's full of crap. And by and large, so are witches.

So I was quite surprised that witches couldn't sell their crap. Etsy has some nice thing. Nice thing? There's a quote in here I want to read, Cecil, before I turn it over. It says, swaths of us have now had our sales and shop views tank, and there is great distress in the metaphysical community. What do you think about this? Honestly, though,

do you think that they should be able to sell this sort of garbage? I think Etsy is a private company and they can decide that they don't want to have this shit sold there. You know, they don't have any. They don't have any specific right.

So they don't have any specific right to sell it at Etsy. Okay. Let me just ask a broader question. Do you think that a witch should be able to sell you a spell in general? No, I don't think so, actually. I think it's fucking fraud every time, right? Right.

It's all fraud. So I guess, like, I can't sell a car. like I can't sell a car. So, for example, if my job is to sell cars and you go to buy a car and then you try to drive the car and the car doesn't work and I didn't tell you the car doesn't work, I think you can come after me for that, right? So if I try to sell you any other service that is a valueless service that cannot possibly work, I think there's recourse. So in the case of a spell, because it's always a fraud, 100% of the time, it's like selling fraud service.

So, no, I mean, I can't think of how it could be sold. Yeah, I don't know either. I just I I can't I don't know how they get away with it, but they do. And I think that that in some ways that lends credence to what they're doing, because they're not shutting these places down that are clearly frauds. A person who's going to sell you spell is a fraud. A person who's going to read your fucking fortune is a fraud. But they're not shutting those people down. Those people can still act and do the things and i don't know that shutting them down is a good thing because i think that in some ways i think uh i think that if you're a consumer you're allowed to waste your money however you want to waste your money and if it makes you feel better to think that aunt susan thinks you loved her before she died who am i to say that that's a waste of money for you? Right. But in some ways, I feel like I mean, I'm kind of torn on the issue. I don't know which way I fall. Yeah, I guess I guess I fall.

I fall under the category that these are these are people who are taking the money of people and offering to provide a service that they never actually provide. Yeah. They don't ever provide the service that they never actually provide. Yeah. They don't ever provide the service that they offer. They're saying, hey, I'm going to give you a spell. A fucking spell, Cecil? Or a hex or whatever? Fucking a hoax? I'll cast any spell, any denomination for just $19.95. You buy 665 spells, you get the 666 for free.

Have you got our spells punch card? It's a huge punch card for 665 stars. It's like a fucking giant long card. You take it out of your wallet and you just keep unfolding it? It's like one of those old school Scantron sheets. You just gotta keep filling in the numbers. It's like a voting ticket in Chicago. Have you seen how big those things are?

No, man, no. Oh my god, they're as big as my monitor. They're enormous. Are they really? They're huge. They are absolutely enormous. The voting ticket, I'm not kidding, it's gotta be two foot long. Fuck you.

And a foot wide. I'm not even kidding. I wanna take a picture of it, but they won't let you. They don't let you take a picture? Well, no one would know now. Going in with a fucking curtain shut or whatever. Yeah, we don't have curtains. We have tiny little – where I go vote, they just have a little aluminum table that a bunch of people stand at, and they put these quasi-dividers on it.

It's like when you were in high school and there would be the dividers up in between des between desks in the library it's like that really they don't have like a booth you step into there's no curtains you can't even masturbate while you're voting no i yeah i still do okay good you can't i mean otherwise it's i feel like my freedoms are impinged exactly well i signed mine with my semen so i'm just to put my John Hancock on it. The thing about this Etsy thing, though, they should feel lucky that they're just getting banned because 300 years ago, you'd be burned in the United States. And actually, right now, in other parts of certain parts of Africa, you could be killed for this. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

There's still places on the globe that fucking believe that witches are real. I guess America believes it enough that witches, there's a whole fucking metaphysical community of fucking shysters and hoaxes. Did you read something? Somebody posted a tweet or a comment on this, and there's a picture of it, which I think is great. It says, can't someone just cast a spell to work these things out? And somebody replied, yes, as a matter of fact, I believe we can. If enough of us can pull our energy, the question is, do we want or need to? Is it all happening to drive us to a better place? What a great comment, huh?

Perfect. We could do it if we wanted to. We could cast a spell to change Etsy's mind if we really wanted to but if enough of us pull our energy i think that means to be pool our energy yeah i think so i think so too right and then i don't know man like and they're gonna be driven to another place like what they're gonna set up their fucking their own you know ebay style yeah somebody's gonna do a a witchcraft based site for them because there's money to be made clearly god fuck i'll make the witchcraft right site are you kidding me there's a woman on here who says

specifically i sincerely hope not if they get rid of the metaphysical shops the crystals are the main reason i shop here and i spend absurd amounts of money here on etsy absurd i want you to spend absurd amounts of money on garbage that i sell it's all just junk it's fucking junk it's junk that doesn't work here's some fucking oils that don't do anything here's some fucking pretty rocks that don't do anything to call them crystals somehow legitimizes them it's like this is garbage you're fucking literally packing up fucking refuse and sending it to people. And then they think that their fucking day is going to get better or their fucking week or, you know, someone's going to love them more.

They're going to fucking get laid on occasion. They're going to have fucking prosperity and win that job interview. And the thing is, man, I feel like magic spell bullshit always, always, always, always preys on the vulnerable. It probably does. I think you're right there. And I think that's why I'm leaning toward it shouldn't be a thing uh i recognize that there are people who uh who think that they benefit from it because it makes them feel better but i i'd rather them feel better in a way that is tangible yeah i mean just like it's not okay to to to lie to people

and make vulnerable people feel good because you sold them sugar pills the doctor can't do it you can't it should be like false advertising in some way because they don't they have like really weird regulations on that shit that they can't do false advertising and pictures and things like that man isn't this just all false advertising i really don't understand how well it does say that Etsy's policy was that you had to exchange something of value. Yeah, they take pictures of it. Tom, I read this.

They take pictures of the fucking ritual and send it to people. Or there's like a tarot reading and you can digitally download the tarot reading. I would like to send pictures of my dick to people and get money. Hey, check out my magic staff. I'll tell you. No, staff. Come on on now it's a wand it's a children's wand check out my magic baby carrot it's a nibbler

i'm raymond massey and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery. This story comes from Press Connects. Child dies of untreated ear infection. Parents charged.

A wailing area. What is that? I don't know. Wailing? Wailing? It's in Pennsylvania, I think. That's not even in America. A toddler died from an infection that was easily treatable. Parents of an 18-month-old

are facing criminal charges following an investigation. This fucking 18-month-old kid had a fucking untreated ear infection and died of streptococcus pneumonia meningitis. Which caused a cerebral abscess and a terminal cerebral edema.

Edema, I guess is what it's pronounced. Edema. Dude, this is a fucking ear infection. If anybody has kids, you know, your fucking kid has an ear infection, they are miserable. They're fucking screaming and crying and nearly unconsolable. Inconsolable. I mean, and it is just antibiotics and it's gone.

That's what it is. But it hurts, man. An ear infection hurts the kids. They fucking rub at their ears if they're pre-verbal. They cry all the time. They don't sleep. They're fucking miserable. They left this unt the time they don't sleep they're fucking miserable they left this untreated and they tried homeopathic remedies and fucking herbs and spices

it's so fucking sad fucking 18 month old died in agony is what what it should read unnecessarily died and they indicated They indicated that another reason they didn't seek medical treatment sooner was financial concerns. That's super sad. And that's sad if that's true, but that's not all. I mean, if it's an emergency,

you can take the child to the emergency room. I know. And they would treat, if you take a baby to an emergency room, they'll fucking treat that baby without, they'd treat anybody with an acute thing, but they would just give you some antibiotics and send you on your way yeah that's it and i don't you know i i don't want to sound callous but i don't understand the idea that you've got a fucking child in agonizing

pain and and clearly this would have to go on for a second this doesn't happen for you know 10 minutes this has to happen for a significant amount of time. And instead of just being like, man, we're just going to fucking – if you said, Tom, you have to treat your son or you'll go bankrupt. I'd be like, fine, I'll go bankrupt. I know. I know. I don't care. I'll just fucking deal with it.

And it's not because I don't care about my fucking personal financial situation. I care about the fucking life of the people I love more than the money. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. At a certain point, you have to, you have to consider it's going to fuck everything up, but I got to do it. I know. And now this is, this is where all of our, our overseas listeners are just shaking their

heads. I know. We're going to get a million emails like, well, in my country, we're just going to the doctor. Yeah, I know. Yeah, we'd love to have that system. Great system. Yeah, we'd love to have that system. Engage that.

I would pay a lot of taxes for that system. You know what I would pay in taxes? Probably less than what I pay for my fucking medical insurance. You know, to be honest, I probably would pay about the same, maybe more. Even if I paid more, I'd still be happy because I know that it wasn't just me. It's not just me getting that medical insurance. It's someone else. I'm helping somebody else get that medical insurance. I'm helping

somebody else go to the doctor. That's a shitty thing. One of the things in here that says she didn't believe in vaccinations or other aspects of modern medicine, not because of any religion's belief, but because of her own upbringing and her own research. And I wonder how we can start a brand new Google University body count, you know, because

how many people does that fuck over when they do a little bit of research? Oh, I did a little research and I'm kind of afraid of vaccines. So now I'm kind of afraid to get a treatment that we know absolutely 100 percent works and is pretty much risk free. Man, that's that's exactly the thing. People feel empowered by the democratization of knowledge. And I'm 100 percent pro the democratization of knowledge. And that's a huge advantage that the that the Internet Internet provides to all of us. But we need to sort of step back and recognize and take with a grain of salt that doesn't make us a fucking expert on anything yeah you know like just because you read that thing on the

internet okay that's great you know vet your fucking sources and still consult with people who fucking i don't know went to school for a better part of a goddamn decade to learn this not fucking buzzed around on webmd for a half hour. You can't rub some fucking herbs on it and hope it's going to get better. It fucking clearly doesn't work. But you can just give them antibiotics and it just goes away. Why don't they do what they do with the vajayjay and stuff some garlic in there? Just ram, just ram, well it's probably, it's herbs and spices, right? Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great president.

Of course he said the same thing about an old rusty bird cage he found fucking donald trump this story is amazing because i love donald trump so much it's from right wing watch gop presidential candidates are nothings who couldn't shine his shoes i love trump oh so this he's on the michael savage show which is a right wing crazy show made fucking by crazy people for crazy people uh but he was on the show and this is uh this is michael savage giving him a a hummer on the air i i write a book called trump the art of the deal it's the number one selling business book of all time or very close you know somebody will say oh somebody else i mean so i always like to go but just about i think it's the number one selling business book of all time, or very close. You know, somebody will say, oh, somebody else. I mean, so I always like to go, but just about, I think it's

the number one, but it's like just about the number one selling book of all time. I do a television show. Everyone says, oh, the show will never make it. 15 copies of The Apprentice, they've all failed. Everybody copied it. It all failed. It's still going, you know, they renewed, they're begging me. I mean, they would love me not to do this, but I'm doing it. I told them I'm doing it. But it's now 14 seasons of The Apprentice, one of the most successful shows on television. I mean, a tremendous success. You remember the first season, it was like one of the biggest shows ever. That was a show that was supposed to never make it. All these copies, Martha Stewart copied, everybody copied it, and they didn't make it. Okay. And then I read, I shouldn't be on the same stage with some governor who is a nothing or a senator who's a nothing. I'm not saying that a senator is nothing or a governor is nothing.

I'm just saying some of these people shouldn't be on the stage. But I sort of laugh. I build up this tremendous company. Some of the great real estate assets of the world. The television show is a big hit. The book is a big hit. Other books are big hits, estate assets of the world. The television show is a big hit. The book is a big hit. Other books are big hits too, by the way.

You go to the best college and you do great. And then all of a sudden you're not supposed to be on a stage and you have other people that frankly can't shine your shoes and it's okay for them to be on. What I love is that he thinks what qualifies him to be president is that he had a successful book, a successful TV series, and a fucking business. I know. This is a guy who thinks he's going to be able to run the United States because he – I'm telling you, Tom, he thinks he's going to be homecoming king. He does?

He thinks this is a popularity contest, and sadly, it is a popularity contest. Yeah. So it is a popularity contest. So it is a popularity. I'm not saying that Trump's going to be president because I think anybody with any fucking sense in their head will eat his fucking they will drink his milkshake. They will detonate him in a debate. There's no way that guy can debate. He he can barely explain what his book is on this thing that he probably didn't even write. Let's be honest here. But the fact that he's waving these things around as a flag to say, look at how great I am. Look at how qualified I am.

If you got this resume on your desk, you would throw it out. I'm talking about for a receptionist. You'd be like, you're not even qualified. What, you had a fucking book? Who gives a shit? Can you answer a phone? Trump never ceases to amaze me and amuse me. I think this guy, I mean, I hope so bad, Cecil.

I hope he hits the debates. They will be amazing. To have Trump debating with, likeorum oh god and then throw rick perry in there oh man what else could you ask for it would be it would be the it might be the greatest comedic lineup the best part about that though is that we could probably just play the debate and take a week off i fucking sold you know we wouldn't have to say anything just play the debate and take a week off. Fucking sold. You know what I mean? We wouldn't have to say anything. Just play the debate. These are guys so absurd that you actually can't say more absurd things to mock them.

They make satirization of themselves literally impossible because they have reached such levels of outlandishment that you're just like, I fucking can't add one. I can't add one to that. You got me there trump he's saying that these are senators that cannot shine his shoes dude you're a tv celebrity man like they're that's that's kind of the lowest thing like that's fucking because first of all nobody watches tv anymore it's not the lowest thing unless you don't know it's the lowest i know then it's the lowest it's the lowest thing and but it's it's even worse than being a regular tv so it's a tv reality show right celebrity and then it's a tv

reality game show celebrity are you kidding are you he takes it so seriously. I actually would have thought, and I'm not fucking around, I actually would have thought that he would have understood that this is not real. That this is just a joke. That none of it's real. That it's a farce put on for the entertainment of other people. That he's not doing a business thing with this television show he's just he's it's a vaudeville act right and he's just a vaudeville actor within this fucking insane farce that there is no but i think he believes i think he thinks that he's really like

you know making good decisions and firing the right people and you know mentoring this guy and you know finding real talent i think he believes this i believe this is a guy who believes his own hype that's what makes him amazing it's fine to be rich it's fine i i you know a lot of these guys that run are rich i don't have anything against you because you're rich or you're you made a lot of money i don't care you know and he's also be able to flaunt that um that affluence as part of his selling point that's how he sells himself is because he's affluent that's how he sells you know trump towers in chicago because it's affluent because it's where you want to be

if you want to be seen if you want to be a person who other people recognize have has money so there's a there's a level there of selling his own brand to try to show people that he's powerful, that he's important, that he has a lot of money. I get that. And that's fine. But that has nothing to do with fucking foreign policy, man. What's your stance? And you listen to his stances and you're just like, oh, my God, please don't get an office. Can you imagine this guy trying to negotiate a deal with north korea like you would have two people with no grasp on reality

i mean i i really mean this yeah you would have two people in incredibly high profile powerful positions in the world with no grasp on reality and an unbelievably grandiose sense of self yeah and a level of narcissism second only to each other respectively throw putin in there you got a fucking whirlwind you may as well like if you fucking elected that guy you fucking start digging your shelter now yeah oh yeahcasters. They live in squalor, destitute, and disenfranchised, eking out an existence as best they can

in such desolate places as Chicago. In pairs, but otherwise alone, they suffer from hunger and thirst, barely making it day to day on store brand chicken wings and weak domestic beer. from here from this dark old hotel room

and the endlessness that you fear but now you can help for just a few dollars a podcast, pennies a day you can give them the restaurant style chicken wings

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Please, go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures lead a life worth living. This story is from Right Wing Watch. Meet the Republican candidates who have defended the Confederate flag. flag. So there's a lot of renewed attention being paid to the Confederate flag after the murder of the nine people in Charleston, South Carolina, primarily because in South Carolina, the state flag flies alongside

the Confederate flag. And interestingly, Cecil, after the shooting, the American flag was flown at half-mast, as is pretty normal when these things happen. The Confederate flag at the state capitol in Charleston was still flying at full mast. Yeah, I heard that that's because it can't come down. It's like locked up there. Oh, really? Yeah, like it can't.

It actually can't be lowered. Wow. Isn't that crazy? That's even worse, actually. You would think that they might say like this feels grossly insensitive let's just take it down for the day yeah can we just do that because symbolically lowering the american flag to half mast and still letting the fucking american swastika that is the fucking confederate flag flap its fucking gullet in the wind.

Kind of seems, with each flap, like a bit of a slap in the fucking face. Outrageous. The thing is, I was looking up to see where the flag comes from, what its history is, and it's not even actually the flag that the Confederates used as their flag. The Confederate flag has a circle of stars and three stripes and there's a blue background for the circle of stars on the top and then there's just three stripes on it.

I think it was just three stripes. It's a totally different flag than this flag. I think it's the stars and bars. Yeah, this is actually Robert E. Lee's banner. Yeah, it's the one that Robert E. Lee used. It's also part of the Mississippi flag. Which is crazy. It's up in the corner of the Mississippi flag.

But it's just kind of an old antiquated remnant of the Civil War that has no use anymore. There's no use to it. There wasn't a use to it when they lost the war. And there certainly isn't any use to it now. I understand that, you know, one of the things that I was reading Wikipedia articles, if you want to fucking read about it, read Wikipedia.

You don't need me to tell you. But in Wikipedia, I'll summarize very quickly. It started to gain more popularity during world war ii because i guess some regiments from the south used it and in in some ways i understand okay well there's some sort of heritage there they're from the south they're from that i get it i understand but that's where it should end so i mean i i understand how you're using it in this in the in world war but then after that it's like okay now okay, now you're done. You don't get to come back home and put it up in the fucking

in the Capitol. And we're talking about almost 100 years at that point after the Confederates were defeated. You know what I mean? World War, the Civil War ended in the 1860s. And we're talking about a war that was fought in the

1940s. It's almost 100're talking about a war that was fought in the 1940s. It's almost 100 years after the fact. I mean, it ceases to be fucking relevant. How does it survive another three and a half, four generations to be fucking dredged back up? And now here we are in 2015, and it's flying and i i do not fucking care i'm unsympathetic to the argument that it is a symbol of southern pride or states rights i am i'm just fucking flat out unsympathetic to that argument i think first of all it's a dishonest argument everybody knows that fucking uh white supremacist groups have latched on whether it was right or wrong doesn't even matter at this point.

White supremacist groups have latched on to that flag for fucking decades as a fucking symbol that symbolizes their fucking hate speech bullshit. So when you know that, wouldn't you want to say like, fucking, I really want to distance myself from these groups? And maybe it was super unfair that they started using my Southern pride symbol. But you know what? They fucking did. So maybe I need a new symbol instead of fucking sticking to my guns.

Because now your fucking guns are conflated with, you know, it'd be like if you were like, well, I like swastikas before Nazi Germany. They existed long before Nazi Germany. I like swastikas before nazi germany they existed long before nazi germany i like swastikas man i think they look cool i just i like what they represented before nazi germany well sorry dude that ship has fucking sailed yeah you know now it's i'll tell you what whether you like it or lump it it has become synonymous with hate and the confederate flag has fucking been a symbol. Every time I look at you ever see it, Cecil, is anything other than a symbol of fucking like backwards southern oppression bullshit. All it reminds me of every time I see it is somebody who is a redneck, somebody who just doesn't. They either don't know that it's racist, that they don't care that it's racist that it that they don't care that it's racist that's that's what it that's what it shows to me because it's just somebody who is just so oblivious or so um

so just idiotic that they don't care that it is racist i just i don't ever whenever i see it on a car or something i immediately think the iq is like 40 points low i totally agree man and you've never seen it to be fair on a car you've always seen it on no yeah it's right next to the truck nuts i mean it's right no it's like you've never seen that on anything with a back seat yeah there's no there's no fucking maybe maybe on an el camino And now, Sarah reads Brian Fisher's homophobic tweets. The swastika was a rainbow swastika. Most of Hitler's stormtroop officers were homosexuals.

Hitler had the Jews to blame. The gay Gestapo has Christians to blame. Just as Hitler bottled up the church of his day inside the four walls of their churches, so the gay Gestapo will do today. The First Amendment is dead. It was killed today by Anthony Kennedy. Every advance of the gay agenda

comes at the expense of religious liberty. As of today, free exercise of religion is toast. June 26, 2015. The day the twin towers of truth and righteousness were blown up by moral jihadists. June 26, 2015. A date which will live in infamy. From a moral standpoint, 6-26 is now our 9-11. June 26, 2015.

I saw Satan dancing with delight the day the music died in the United States of America. And they will say to me and others who defend the rule of law, we have to do something about the 11 million. And some of them are valedictorians. Well, my answer to that is, and then by the way, their parents brought them in. It wasn't their fault. It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents. For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another hundred out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the sides of

cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert so also from right wing watch um michael savage use immigrants to build the border wall then deport them fucking wow this is michael savage from his crazy show um this was after he was done talking to donald trump so uh he's still he's still on the trump nuts here so here we go uh i'm all in on donald trump i know many of you are buying the hook line and sing i'm balls deep on donald trump balls deep i say forget about it the line that he's not in it seriously i'm taking taking him seriously. And I have to say to you that I'm very honored to tell you

that Mr. Donald Trump's idea to build a wall with Mexico came directly from the savage manifesto on borders, language, and culture found in my book, Trickle Up Poverty. Trickle Up Poverty?

Oh. What a fucking numbskull. That's poverty. Yeah, it's really affecting the fucking billionaires. That is a maze ball where it was clause number two of my contract with America. The Savage Manifesto where I said close the borders. Stop calling it a manifesto, dude. You sound crazy.

I know, right? Like nobody has manifestos except for communists and bombers it's just so you know you sound real crazy when you call it a manifesto you can't help invite anyone over to your house to read something you read and call it a manifesto right and see what happens yeah hey this conversation has never ended with an ecstatic yes. Hey, man, you want to read my manifesto? You want to read it? Oh, yeah. It turns out I'd rather punch myself in the dick than do that.

Use illegal aliens to build a wall between the United States and Mexico. Have Sheriff Joe Arpaio oversee the project. That's the sheriff, by the way, that puts people outside, I think. Yeah, that's the fucking tent city sheriff that makes you wear pink because he feels like that's emasculating and then works you real hard. And he's just a super fucking mean dude basically running a fucking gulag. And every single conservative wants to line up and give him a handjob oh i know every conservative loves how hard he's such a hard he's such a hard man he's such a hard hard chubby face man so fucking hard he fucking throbs with anger look at him throbbing

with hard tight anger oh what a dick pay the illegals for their labor in the form of a one-time worker fee. Upon finishing, repatriate them. So thank you very much, Donald Trump. I'm glad that you are at number two. You know what you should do? Instead, just shoot them, lay them down as the foundation for the wall, and put fucking rocks on them like fucking it's 300. That's what you should do instead.

Outrageous. Why don't we just build the wall from their fucking baby's bodies? Exactly. Let's just fucking glue their bodies together with a fucking mortar of their mother's tears. All we need to do is just make big vats of concrete and throw all the illegals in there. Just huge vats of concrete and just bury them in the wall.

That's what we need to do. Throw the money in there too after vats of concrete and just bury them in the wall that's what we need to do throw the money in there too after him whatever like here's your pay illegals here you go like just throw it in there and i'll jump in right after the money so derisively to huck like two quarters at him like i paid you you filthy animals number one was english only i'm gonna ask mr trump if he would make english the official language of the United States. What? It's great. We need an official language because that will solve literally no problems.

Man, if we don't have English as the official language, then we won't know what the official language is. I drive to work every day and think, fuck, when is this going to happen? You know what I I like to see? I like to fucking adopt the metric system first. You know what's awesome is the ballot. We were talking about ballots earlier. The ballot for Chicago. I get thanked in like seven languages on the thank you card.

Really? They give you a thank you slip, and it's got Chinese. I think there's Arabic on there. There's English, Spanish. I, I, I don't remember how many I got,

how many I counted, but there's like six or seven languages that you get thanked in. But shouldn't we just have it in English because other people don't count. Other people don't matter. The thing is that your humanity is less if you are culturally different. Yeah. I feel – isn't that true? It's totally true.

It's true. You're like – And I hope that he – Like there's tiers of humanity. It's like a totem pole of who counts. What they should do is they should take whoever doesn't speak English and put them in the wall. I think that that's – it doesn't matter either. If you're Mexican and you speak – if you speak Spanish or Mexican and you. I think that that's... It doesn't matter either if you're Mexican

and you speak Spanish or Mexican and you get thrown in, that's fine. If you speak fucking Eastern European, whatever language they speak, those fucking mutts from over there. Oh, God. And actually, let's expand it to just anybody with an inconvenient accent.

Exactly. Bostonians. Like this guy. Hey, forget about it. I'm going to go park in Harvard Yard. And require all who immigrate to our country to begin immediately to learn English as part of the requirement to qualify for the privilege of American citizenship. Likewise, Mr. Trump, would you require voting ballots to be written in English only?

What did you fucking do to earn your fucking citizenship? citizenship likewise mr trump would you require voting ballots to be written in english only what did you fucking do to earn your fucking citizenship his mom shit out a kid right that's that fucking that shit makes me so mad the privilege oh i don't want you to have the same privilege i fucking lucked into by genetic lottery yeah fuck you you know by that same fucking thinking people with genetic diseases would just be like fucking tough shit we could treat you but i don't give a fuck i don't care you're fucking unlucky sorry you know what i'm fucking feeling kind of unlucky to be american i fucking wish i was born in fucking norway yeah no kidding or in sweden or something yeah right it's fucking not it's not like this great fucking privilege oh God. It's the greatest country that's ever been of all time.

Wow. It's a good country. There are others that are also very good. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? Conservapedia.

Come on, man. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? Conservopedia. Come on, man. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? Actual fuck. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? Conservopedia. Faith extends beyond belief to include confidence about something unseen,

such as the achievement of God's will. Faith goes beyond materialism to include a realization of the underlying reality for the goal of achieving good. The entire chapter 11 of the His Epistle to the Hebrews, possibly written by Jesus, is devoted to explaining faith, which is unique to Christianity. Faith embodies more than belief, requiring more than mere thought or emotion. Faith elevates one's being, while belief is limited to a mental state or emotion. Faith implies a causal role by the believer in an outcome or in overcoming a personal fear. Faith also implies advancement or accomplishment rather than wrongdoing, while belief implies neither. advancement, or accomplishment rather than wrongdoing, while belief implies neither.

Faith in God versus secular psychology for solving addictions and other personal problems. The Apostle Paul wrote, Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. Faith plays a central role in overcoming addiction. Virtually everyone is plagued by one or more addictions, and faith enables overcoming these weaknesses. Similar to this is faith's key role in overcoming recidivism. This role is unique to Christian faith and has not been shown with regard to other religions, belief systems, or to secular humanist ideologies.

other religions, beliefs, systems, or to secular humanist ideologies. Faith is also helpful in overcoming fear, such as fear of public speaking, appearing on television, or standing up to a bully or unpleasant situations. Lack of faith can lead to fear, anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, and sometimes death. A lack of faith can be very harmful, leading to self-destructive behavior. Faith can be described as the power to ignore the devil and all his antics. Often faith inspires extra initiative or effort, adding confidence that it will yield the desired good result. Life itself may be the manifestation of God's faith.

Decay and death may be the manifestation of a lack or denial of faith. Other definitions and religions. Outside of Christianity, faith is misused as a synonym for belief. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, for example, includes this definition of faith. A system of religious beliefs. Alternatively, faith often refers to a firm belief in something for which there is no proof or evidence. In the Quran, the concept of submission to Allah is mentioned 11 times, while the concept of faith in Allah is mentioned only once.

Etymologically, the word faith is closely linked to the concept of fidelity, which emphasizes commitment to something or someone, specifically Christ. Thus, faith is often understood to mean loyalty to a particular view of divinity. Yet faith can also be envisioned more broadly as a trust in providence, as it entails an active role for the believer himself for advancing good. Faith is emphasized in Christianity, but is unrecognized by the worldview of philosophical skepticism. This story comes from the Huffington Post. KKK leader disputes

hate group label. We're a Christian organization. This is outrageous. So the leader of the traditionalist American Knights of the Ku Klux Klan is tired of, quote, a few rogue Klansmen. Ruining the group's reputation. What?

Your group has never had a reputation as anything other than a hate group. They're not the save the children from the orphanage fire. Right. That you recognize. you can't ruin it's like it's like you can't ruin i nobody sullied your good name you never had a good name you're the guys who wear the weird hoods and burn crosses and do the fucking lynchings and and also i don't think this guy even understands what he's talking about because later on he says they say uh he's talking about not being racist he's like we just want to keep our races as the white race we don't want it we want to stay white it's not a hateful

thing to maintain white supremacy right yeah that's fucking really hateful it's not a hateful thing to decide that race is the factor which should be considered mostly when deciding who dominates a culture. That's actually really hateful, man. What's crazy about this is you read this article and read between the lines. You don't have to even read between the lines. Just read the article and you recognize the reason why the KKK membership across the country has sort of had a boom since 2008. I don't think you have to be a stupid person to understand why that is. Right.

And then also, like I state that everything south of fucking I-80 is fucking crazy town. Tinley Park, a suburb of Chicago, south of I-80. It's fucking promotional flyers for the KKK. Is it south of i-80 it's fucking promotional flyers for the kkk is it south of i-80 part of it is i'm gonna i'm just gonna count it all as garbage it's fucking solid it's all garbage nuke it from orbit it's the only way to be sure oh i love that he says like we don't hate people because of the race i I mean, we're a Christian organization. As if that's mutually exclusive somehow. Isn't it crazy? Isn't it fucking crazy that they, and I'm totally disregarding what you, I don't even care what you say.

Yeah, that's fine. I don't either. Isn't it fucking crazy that the president is black and all this fucking resurgence in the cake? What fucking degenerates out there are so fucking butthurt that the president isn't white anymore that they're going to turn to a racist organization? What the fuck were you hoping they were going to do? Lobby Congress? I can't even tell who they are. They're not going to make it past security either, by the way, in those outfits.

Doesn't that make you wonder how many people out there are still harboring this sort of shit? Because you know the people who joined, it's not like they weren't racist in 2007. You know, they were racist. They just weren't worried about it because they thought they were still winning. Yeah. Then in 2008, they feel threatened. And so they have to fucking band together in their little fucking huddle of hate. Yeah, their hate hovel.

Right? And get together and fucking go fucking balls deep in those fucking weird hood and bed sheet outfits. So fucking. You can. You know, as hateful and violent and bigoted and mean spirited and cynical as that group of fucking Neanderthalic shitheads is, they wear the most goddamn ridiculous fucking outfit. I actually don't think you could imagine something weirder looking. Yeah. It's so weird. Every time I see them, I want to put like a plate and a candlestick on him

you know like they look like a fucking tablecloth you look like a french fucking restaurant look at the picture even though it is an intimidating looking picture with a dude fucking raising his hand a fucking sig heil motion no we're not a hate group, though. No, not a hate group. You know, while fucking idiots dance around a fucking oversized campfire. He looks like an Eagle Scout of hate. Yeah. That little sash on. He totally does. And the badges.

I wonder if they get fucking badges. Like, oh, this is my lynching badge. This is my I beat a black guy with a crowbar. I got this one. This is my anti-Semitism badge. That's getting harder to come by. But I had to go to Skokie for that one. This is my anti-Semitism badge. That's getting harder to come by, but I had to go to Skokie for that one. This is my death threats to President Obama badge.

This is my fake anthrax badge. I'm not smart enough to make real anthrax. It was baby powder. I just crushed up some Smarties. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This is awesome, too. Pat Robertson, destroy a Greek sculpture if it has demonic powers.

All right, this is Pat Robertson, 700 Club. It wouldn't be a show without Pat. I love this guy. Who says, a friend went on vacation to Greece and brought me an alabaster sculpture of the ancient Greek goddess of the hunt, Diana Artemis. Is having this in my house considered having other gods? If it's another god, can I sell it or should I destroy it? And is there a specific way to destroy it? What are you?

Oh, my God. Lord. It's like Pat is the fucking deer abbey of destroying and selling statues. And is there a specific way I should destroy it? It's like the fucking mismanners of fucking statuettes. And then do I have to send a fucking, I'm sorry, but I destroyed your fucking heathen statue.

You fucking godless cunt letter. I destroyed your pagan shit that you gave me. Thanks so much for bringing, for thinking of me on your vacation and buying this thing and then bringing it back, but I had to fucking smash and burn it with a fucking bull skull or whatever fucking

Pat Robertson wanted me to do. You got to do it in a special way. Let's see if he says special way. When my friend gave it to me, she told me it was a fertility goddess. Both she and I were going through in vitro at the time oh so your friend knew you were having issues with a personal and sensitive uh thing and she thought of you yeah and bought this thing and said here you go you know just like a little it's a nice little thing it's i'm thinking of you symbol

that's what this is it's a fucking good luck i'm thinking of you symbol. That's what this is. It's a fucking good luck. I'm thinking of you symbol to put in your fucking house. I can't wait for Pat Robertson to thoughtlessly tell her to discard this. He's going to drop the hammer here. I think a statue of Diana the Huntress is the question was that thing used in

occult activity? Does it have demonic power associated with it or is it just a good-looking statue? Only you know that. I don't... I can't give you the answer. How the fuck would she know? You gotta fucking rub your fucking crazy meter on it. Like, what would Egon have?

It's like Egon. Egon walks in like... Oh! Is it covered in ectoplasm? Quick, burn it. It's from Zool. It's covered in ectoplasm? Quick, burn it. It's from Zool. It's covered in fucking marshmallow? It says right on the bottom, Keymaster. Hey, I also have a fucking toy of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Should I burn my house down around it, Pat? I can't give you the answer.

If it's part of an occult ritual, then by all means destroy it. Maybe she doesn't even know that. How does she she know that wouldn't this be good information to have also if she if she was because it's her statue right so you you presume that the statue is made in a factory it's not like she bought her a fucking original you know it's a fucking statue fake fucking trinket that she got at a fucking store. Yeah, it's a junk shop produced in a fucking factory and shipped to the shit stores that sell them to dumb tourists like her friend. So then her fucking shitty friend took it home and gave it to her. It wasn't used in a cult. You dumb fuck.

Unless she did the occulting. Right. It was made in China. It just sold in Greece. Exactly. It's sold in a shit store. Give me a break. You know that.

I can't give you the answer. If it's part of a occult ritual, then by all means destroy it. If it's just a beautiful ornament, I mean, you know, don't worry about it. Wow. It's a beautiful ornament. Hang it from your Christmas tree. If it's got fucking demons sticking out of it yeah then it's bad like i mean for fuck's sake if it's got fucking if it was using an occult ritual oh is there a certificate of non-occult ritual use authenticity with the goddamn statue

no i didn't fucking think so yes it's like it's like somebody when you go to paris and you get one of those eiffel tower keychains right saying oh well was it used in demand no it was fucking held by a dude outside of the eiffel tower wanting to sell it for three fucking euros that's what it was that's way its entire life spent in a box and then given to a guy to sell it on the street right it was meaningless shit then it's meaningless shit now what is he talking about he doesn't even know what he's talking about you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth so this is the greatest story of ever uh it's from the independent kim jong-un giant giant North Korean baby man.

Look at that first picture. Doesn't he look like a teapot in that picture? He looks huge. He looks like an upturned wine glass. So he claims to have cured AIDS, Ebola, and cancer with a single miracle drug. Which is crazy, in my opinion. I think that he should be looking for things that would cure maybe chipmunk cheeks and sausage fingers.

I think those would be the things that he should be looking for. You know that when they realize that this guy was coming to the lab, they're like, but we already struggle so hard to science. We're in North Korea. We struggle so hard to science even a little bit. Like, we are doing science that is seriously at the level of a fifth grade science fair in North Korea. And they found out fucking Kim Jong-un is going to fucking show up with his giant baby head sucking on his pacifier of idiocy. And his weird chef coat.

I know. Did he just leave a restaurant where he fucking invented the cure for cocovin yeah it's awesome i love all the shit that they say he's done in this article is awesome they say something like he uh the state claims that kim jong-il invented the hamburger and had a magical power which meant he did not use the toilet well that explains the size i guess it is great well they just showed up and he said and they said well we cured all these cancers oh cool well we'll tell everybody yeah great uh we won't share it with anybody um so so the statement that's published uh he says the researchers insert rare earth elements

into ginseng by applying the myco-elementary fertilizers of rare earth elements to the fields of ginseng. The injection is made of extracts from those complex compounds. As a strong immunoactivator,

the injection has been recognized to prevent different malignant epidemics none of that means anything the giant fucking north korean baby man did nothing all he did was show but you know don't you wonder about this too like does he think he did did it because they probably tell him i don't know i don't know i mean does he does he does he did? Because they probably tell him he did. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, does he believe his own hype is what you're asking? Because there's so much other hype here. They said that he, what was it, that he had a golf game where he scored 18 or something,

where he hit 18 holes in one or something like that. But, you know, the thing is that North Korea is so crazy. It's so crazy that it is not inconceivable to me that he lives in a bubble and a world so managed that he could think he hit an 18. It would not surprise me at all if he hit the ball and then while his back was briefly turned, somebody ran and put it in the hole. Yeah. Or somebody just put balls in the hole all the way through and then somebody just collected his balls. And collected his balls. And was like, hold on one again!

They probably collected his balls throughout, actually, now that I'm thinking about it. Or like he goes to this lab and they let him pour some fucking saline solution into some vinegar or something. And then they're all like, oh my God, you invented cancer and AIDS and Ebola. No, he invented the cure. So that's not the actual. Yeah. Sorry. No.

Cure them. Pour it back. Pour it back. Can you pour it back in there? I love his pinstripe suit. This guy. It looks like he looks like a pinstripe suit. If you just were to color it gray, he looked like he would work at Meineke.

This is ridiculous. This guy is a fucking joke he's a total farce man he's a he's a he's a guy who has a lot of power but he's a fucking he's a total joke everybody outside of north korea and i think people inside of north korea probably laugh at him too they just can't get away with it. Right. Well, I know he's been absolutely merciless about murdering really high level officials for even the most minor offenses. In fact, there was a guy who was at a very, very high level up there just a few weeks ago that he had shot with anti-aircraft guns to make a point. I think the point being that kills you. Of the ways to make a point i think the point being that kills you of the ways to make a point though yeah probably a good way to make a point makes the point actually i'll be honest i'd rather catch the aircraft anti-aircraft guns and the isis drowning those guys in the cage

yeah what wait what you didn't hear about that no oh don't Google it. Oh, God. They drown dudes in a cage? You really are pushing the boundaries on executions when you're drowning them in a cage first and then shooting them with an RPG. You must really not like those people. I mean, I thought we were having fun with the hand chopper offer machine. Right? Jeez. Anti-aircraft gun shooting people and then fucking ISIS fucking drowning drowning people yeah that's uh dude that's something to behold it turns out there's a video of it i'm not gonna watch no so i don't want to watch that who would watch that who would

watch the fucking last struggling desperate moments of dying people i've seen some videos of of people being killed i've seen many videos of people being killed they're shot or they're you know fucking cut up or smashed in a car or whatever hit by a train I've seen many videos of people being killed. They're shot or they're fucking cut up or smashed in a car or whatever, hit by a train. I've seen a lot of different videos of people dying. That's not a video I'm going to watch. Right, no. Of people struggling

before they die in a cage. Dude, that's so fucking horrible. We're totally ending on a downer. We can't even talk about Jackie Chan with his glandular problem here. He does kind of look like Jackie Chan. He does look like Jackie Chan. He looks like a chubby Jackie Chan.

A really out of shape Jackie Chan. Jackie Chunk. Jackie Chunk. So I don't want to do a full email section i do want to say uh we got tons of email correcting us on uh on it's freddie mercury not eddie mercury i guess but tom and i really don't know celebrity names so it's not a big i big surprise that we don't know or remember a person who's died a long time ago. We also got messages correcting us on his sexuality, too. I guess he was bi, not gay.

Our bad. We didn't know. I never had sex with him, so I didn't know whether or not he was gay or bi. Just, you know, I just I presumed he was gay. We wanted to to mention that, yes, we've received your email. We know it is Freddie Mercury. We apologize from the bottom of our hearts i do want to read off uh our latest patrons though we want to thank all of the patrons uh who donate to

the show thank you all so much for your generous donations we want to thank daniel jason david mundify 66 jeff alec gray brian dav C., and B, Arthur's cock. And I'm just telling you right now that B. Arthur doesn't have a penis. Sarah Silverman talked about this. Everybody's doing jokes about B. Arthur has a penis. It's so mean. And I happen to know for a fact that she doesn't have a penis. She has a vagina, okay?

She has a big, floppity, sloppy, bushy, wiry, gray vagina. Woo! Woo! Which reminds me, Courtney Love is here, who I love. So I think it's clear now that we know that Bea Arthur does not have a penis, but anyway, thank you Bea Arthur's Cock

for sending in a donation. And thank all of our patrons for giving us your hard-earned money. We really do appreciate it. And I know, Tom, if you were here right now, he would say thank you very much. We hope Tom gets better. We hope that we'll have a full show this upcoming week.

We will let you know via social media or something of the sort if anything goes crazy or completely wrong. But like I say, we should be back with a nice full show. We hope that this short show was enough for you to tide you over for a full week. But you should have at least two hours of content from us next time. And until then, we're going to leave you with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info- docutainment. Leo Pisces cancer cures. Detox reflex foot massage.

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Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. Doubt even this. Thank you. you