Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 241: First Marmoset of the Apocalypse

Episode Date: August 3, 2015

   

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey guys, this is John from California. I'm calling because I'm wondering if you've heard of something called tetragynetic chimerism. It's where a fertilized egg absorbs a different fertilized egg at early stages of development. And those two eggs kind of grow as one organism. And those two eggs kind of grow as one organism. They still have two sets of DNA. If you take random sample cells, one cell may have one set of DNA. The other cell may have a different set of DNA.

When they come to maturity, these creatures or these people are really interesting because they can have a stripe down the middle where the left side is one color and the right side is a different color. So I guess the way I bring this up is if you believe that life starts at conception, if you believe in Psalm 139 that God knew you and fits you together in your mother's womb, you have to acknowledge that God is also conducting sick experiments

like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly where he's mashing together and essentially murdering two lives to create some chimera monstrosity. So, I'm curious how people kind of square that circle. Hello, motherfuckers. Hey, Tom and Cecil, this is Matt. Unfortunately, I am calling from Idaho.

That's a long story for a whole different message. My wife and I were just listening to episode 239, and she was kind of wondering, what is the cream of her blood? Because obviously the cream of a man's blood is semen. Uh, yeah, so hoping you could help us out with that. Uh, and since I only know that one of you is a certified motherfucker, uh, glory hole gentlemen. Have a good show. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children,

the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this is episode i think 241 it is it is because you wrote it on the notes i did put together notes yes yesterday for me i didn't do them thanks though

appreciate it it's awesome oh god to be fair it's an abbreviated schedule so that means that the work should disproportionately fall. That's true. That's true. It should fall on one of us. Right. It should fall on the competent one. Yeah, it's got to fall on the competent one, because if not, then we just skip two shows in a row.

If it's going to get done, it has to get done right. It has to. Right? And you know what they say. I hear people say it around me all the time. And you are kind of a quality control guy. Right. If there's a problem, they always call.

People are always saying around me, we need better quality control. Or, you know, I hear it all the time. And I hear things like, well, if I wanted it done right, I should have done it myself. All the time around you, there's like something smells bad. Right. Constantly, you know. So for the next two weeks, I'm going to be out of town. And so we're going to record two shows kind of in a row.

Hopefully there'll be enough show for our patrons. We're going to try to do two straight shows. And then we come back. We'll do two shows when we both get back into town. But Tom's leaving town like late a couple of weeks from now. And I'm leaving town like Wednesday. So we've got to make sure that we get everything ready to go. And I can't leave anything with Tom.

So I've got to finish it all. I can't even be like, here's the, here's the show. Go ahead and put it up there. Cause I would be like, I don't, I don't know what up there means. I don just lift it no to be fair i could just lift

this this like flash drive how high do you want it because i have a ladder and i can put it up there right i have an attic and a ladder right i've got a meeting like on floor 32 next week my son way up there my son has a rocket or i could tie it to the rocket where look i just here's the problem nobody has told me where the internet is yet so i don't know how to get there to put things in it i people always oh it's on the internet where is that i can't find it anywhere so you're just gonna come home one day and there's just gonna be a box and it's called the internet And there's like And then you just find all your porn

And there's just You're like hey it's a box of the internet It's very sticky It's really just porn and cat pictures That's it It's nothing but amazon.com Porn and cat pictures It's the whole thing

It's like I can shop with one click so that I can impulsively buy shit and then jerk off while I wait for it to be delivered prime. That's it. It's like it'll be here in two days. In two days, I can rub myself raw. Are you kidding? That's why I ordered the lube from Amazon. What am I going to do until then? I can't.

It never ends. It never ends. It never ends. But the good thing about Amazon, though, is that you can just order stuff on cycle. So if you know you're going to be running out of lube literally every day, you could have it delivered every day. Just on a 24-hour lube cycle. Amazon

will actually put a dispenser in your house that they'll fill up via drone. At this point, I actually have a pipeline right to AstroGlide. That's it. It's that or there's like a drone and it's filling it up like planes that get refueled in the air. It's kind of like a tube. It just shoots it right in there. There's a pipeline burst

And they're trying to scrub the ducks And they're just slipping out of their hands Everybody's falling They're trying to wash it It's like a bar of soap in the bathtub They can't grab a hold of these things Look at these Slippery ducks

Yeah, you don't bring in Yeah, you don't There's no ducks But there's a bunch of sheep covered in it so what makes you think she's a witch well she turned me into a newt a newt i got better this is uh from sf gate san francisco gate it's a terrible name they're like a click This is from SF Gate, San Francisco Gate. It's a terrible name. They're like a clickbait, I thought.

This is like a clickbait. Is it? Yeah, I think they're one of those people who post things that say, you won't believe what this person does when they fold a piece of paper and changed my life or whatever. See, I had no idea that this was a clickbait. Because, I mean, this looks like an article. does when they fold a piece of paper and changed my life or whatever you know it's one of those i had no idea that this was a clickbait because i mean this it this looks like an article it's a yeah it's a it's not a good article and it really does feel like it's giving this guy a lot of time

that's true and it's also spread out like there's crazy like page space it's just like yeah it's all advertisement space that you're getting ad block on so oh okay yeah well yeah it's just like – Yeah, it's all advertisement space that you're getting Adblock on. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, yeah, it just says Adblock. Ha-ha. Take that, bastards. He can't tell you, isn't it? That's how good Adblock is. That's how good Adblock is. I don't even know it's there.

That's why you should donate to Adblock. Donate? It's the internet. Everything's free and businesses just thrive on goodwill. Oh, God, Tom. Isn't that how that works? We literally run on a donation cycle. I don't even...

It's true. It's true. I'm making fun of our own business model. That's outrageous. That is outrageous, Cecil. You're going to get off the phone and you're going to donate to Adblock with your own personal money. Not with Gloryhole Studios credit card either. Whoa.

With your own personal money. I'm going to put that on my Amex card and charge it to the company. Anyway, this story comes from SFGate. But hold on a minute, because every time I see the word gate at the end of something, I think of scandal. Yeah, there's like a scandal of some sort. Right. That's what I mean by when I say it's a terrible name, because it makes it sound like there's like, what's a scandal? Did you hear about SFGate?

It's just a website full of weird news stories. So California drought, water witches in demand as wells run dry. And there's just a picture of a chubby dude with a couple of sticks walking through an orchard. What do you got to do to get a water witch to your property? Do you have to tap like two islands and three colorless? Is that how you get them there?

Nice. Actually, it's probably a lot more colorless during a drought i imagine you can either tap that or you can just tap your shoes together and ask to go home that's the other option you know being a water witch though is not without its uh it's not without its its dangers though houses could fall on you at any moment that's true absolutely you know you gotta be careful the perks are you have a a whole army of flying monkeys that's true right super awesome very very stylish shoes which is also awesome and working in a drought situation as a water witch is is terrific uh because you know you

have to worry about the water melting you anyway so this is perfect working conditions so true you're suddenly yeah they're like they're like the the the bad guys in signs right where they just show up to a water a planet that's 80 percent water they're just like um i'm fucking water is i actually saw a fan theory on that movie i'm totally dead fucking no that's fine i'm totally getting off we got a fill time anyway you're gonna be gone for it too we get a fill time okay kids here we go okay let's do it yeah um so cereal guilty or not really funny fan theory a really interesting one that it's not about aliens at all that instead it's about demons and the person is getting their faith back but they never show any spaceships in the movie but they do show people speculations about spaceships but they never actually show any

spaceships so instead of it's all what what people think is happening but what's really happening is they're actually demons yeah okay i mean i guess i guess that's an interesting thing because because fucking you know yeah that's stupid you flew all the way here and that's the other thing too is they don't exhibit any technology they just yeah try to break in a door by scratching it you know the whole thing you you have the only way to to to watch signs is to and get through the ending of it because it's actually not a terrible movie except for the ending the only way to watch signs and get through the ending of it is just to decide that the whole thing is an allegory about faith and it doesn't necessarily matter if the right if the aliens were ever real or not real or aliens at all yeah that that anything was whether or not the

that whether or not the family was under any actual physical attack is irrelevant. Like, clearly they were under, like, an attack on their faith. And this is a whole movie about the allegory of the restoration of their faith and the power of that faith. So, because it makes no sense that a couple of wooden boards would stop aliens. Or demons. I mean, or demons. Let's be honest here. Are we talking about demons? It wouldn't even stop, like, a at a termined attacker with a crowbar.

It wouldn't stop a badger. Are you kidding me? Right. I've mastered all of the perils of interstellar space. And I show it up. You're like, fucking, I didn't think they'd board up their windows. Turn around, George. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. That's why I think from now on I won't even think that they're aliens. I'll just think that they're demons. I like that theory. As I sort of thought about it, I don't remember. And this is just me trying to remember the movie because I've only seen it like once or twice. I don't remember seeing any. You know, there's that kid at the party, but again, it's walking on the ground.

It's not a, you know, when they catch the picture of it or whatever at that party yeah because that's the only time you see it right right it's you just you just get like the movement of the thing yeah and you're like like between the houses or whatever yeah and then like but they don't say that there's like a ship or anything like that and there is talk of it being aliens but it's it's speculation by i think one of the guys in the recruiting office or something yeah i don't remember because there's not a lot i don't remember a lot of the third party chit chat like because obviously they want you to focus on they want you to think it's aliens oh for sure right it's yeah because that's what the kids theory you know i'm gonna watch the movie again

i don't even i don't even like it i don't even like that movie but now i'm kind of interested and it's intriguing and i'm gonna watch it again and i'm just yeah i'll send you the fan fiction thing god damn you yeah take that i fuck you you water witch okay so water witches what are water witches they're dowsers right right they have those they're back man they have the rabbit ears in their hand and they walk around trying to find the best reception for their television okay do we really are we really gonna fucking be i guess putting faith in someone nowadays with basically a magic wand is that what we're doing no is that cecil you are essentializing it's two magic wands fair enough but you know you watch this and you watch any dowser and it looks ridiculous. Well, it is.

I watched a double blind test on this where they had all these dowsers come in with all their different little twisty fucking nobule sticks and shit. And they put a bunch of water and they put – so what they did was they took water by weight and sand by weight in bottles, plastic bottles. Fifteen sands, one water, and they put them all in garbage bins that were closed. And it was a double-blind test, so the fucking guy who was running it had no idea. He didn't know. Right. So he gets the people in there and all these dowsers are fucking flipping their little things around and making all this stuff. And then they – the best they did was like one out of six. Yeah. this stuff and then they the best they did

was like one out of six yeah well the best they did was was chance odds the very best they did and everybody had an excuse oh well i would normally be really high above it so that's why i didn't notice it or i you know i don't like that you did this or god is laughing at me showing you that you can't test this and you know they all have their little excuses and you're like well then every single time they try to do a study about this stuff it fails every time yep why is it that we still want to believe it because we're desperate that's why because we're desperate for water or we're desperate because we're going to die and that's why the fucking we believe the alternative medicine people it's because of we're desperate that's why everybody believes this garbage and that's why it keeps getting traction well you know it's funny because i posted this to our facebook page and there were a handful of people who were a little

defensive about water witching you know there was somebody who said oh i hired a water witch and they found water and it's like well look if you drill deep enough you're almost certainly going to hit water it's a water table you're going to hit fucking at some point sure you're going to hit water you can always or almost always make the argument that you just didn't drill deep enough you know so the fact that you hired a a water witch which fucking really i'm saying that out loud but it's people got a little defensive somebody else said something like well is it inconceivable that you know evolution could have found some instinctual way and i thought no it's not inconceivable but that doesn't mean i should believe it

without testing it i don't what would be the mechanism by which this would work because don't you wonder that cecil if somebody tells you i do so i got a massage the other day because i have a i woke up with a stiff neck. And I fucking hate it when people talk to me when they're performing a fucking body service on me because I find it awkward. I just feel like apologizing. I always gag the hookers. I just feel like apologizing that they have to see me. Sure, don't touch me.

Please don't touch me. Please. I'm paying you to touch me, but can we just not talk about it? Like, I'm pretending it's not happening, too. The last time I had my shirt off at the doctor's, after I was done, I was like, can I put my shirt on? He's like, yeah, please. He's like, no one needs to see that.

And I'm not even kidding. He literally said that. That's tremendous. That's tremendous. But like, and she's so fucking, she's massaging my shoulders and what have you. And then she's like, oh, and what have you and then she's like oh you know you should try cupping oh god and i was just like yeah i'm just not gonna try your hands in my balls okay right she's like oh i did it the other day and i you know i had this one spot

and it was like really dark so there must have been a lot going on like i must have had a lot of gunk in my system like yeah over there and i was just like that's crazy i wanted to be like how would that even work how because that's always the thing it's like it's just tell me tell me the fucking mechanism for action how would it work how would it work i don't know i demand you tell me how it would work you're like shaking her by the shoulder damn woman. Tell me how it would work. I don't know. Just leave me alone. But like walking around with your fucking twigs and berries

looking for water. And it's like, how? How? Why would the sticks know where the water is? Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up

in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. This is just so amazing. This is from the Raw story. Pastor, Pope tricking Christians into backing the gay agenda

with subliminal messages and Philly visit logo. Let me say it one more time for you. This is amazing. When I saw this article, I was like, wait, the who with the fucking what now? What's he doing with the who's it? Pastor Pope tricking Christians into backing gay agenda with subliminal messages and Philly visit logo. Man.

So there's an online pastor who bills himself as the third eagle of the apocalypse. Awesome. And immediately I'm like, I missed the first two eagles. I feel so disappointed. There were. There's two eagles, but both of them are on the way to Mordor with two hobbits on their back. They got hobbits on them? Right, yeah.

And then I thought, well, wait a minute. Could there be a whole menagerie of the apocalypse? Yeah. Was there like a second giraffe of the apocalypse? There's like a sixth hippopotamus of the apocalypse. Just chasing people around the swimming pool. The first marmoset of the apocalypse. He's coming with all kinds of random.

Like a third stingray. Yeah, maybe it's like a reverse Noah. So there's like three animals, like three of every animal of the apocalypse. Right. So there's like, there's like the fucking second naked mole rat of the apocalypse. And he's just like twerking his, or the fucking lemurs are just jumping from tree to tree angrily like apocalypse. But only three of them.

Right. Yeah. I mean, there's not like a whole herd of lem apocalypse. But only three of them. Right. Yeah. I mean, there's not a whole herd of lemurs, just like three of them. There's three. That's because it was Noah had two because that was heterosexual. Oh, shit. But see, it's a fucking group thing now with the third. Like it's a fucking menage a trois menagerie of the apocalypse.

I like it. I think you should write that book. Shit is going down. Yeah. the apocalypse i like it i like i think you should write that book shit is going down yeah um he's also he also calls himself uh incidentally the co-prophet of the end times co-prophet the co-prophet of the end times i'm not sure other so like i feel like like i am the co-host yeah that implies the existence of another another. Right, right. Right? You know, so where's the other prophet?

I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know. I'm not sure. Maybe he's talking about Jesus. Maybe him and Jesus. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's the two eagles. Maybe they're the...

Oh! Yeah, I guess you could do... The peregrine falcon of the apocalypse or whatever. The Triforce. Yeah. But I think to summarize his points would be nearly impossible. I think he should speak for himself. He should speak for himself.

So let's play a bit of him. Now, we're not going to play this whole thing. It's fucking eight minutes of him talking. We're probably going to play a couple minutes of him talking. But this is his, William Tapley from YouTube, his own YouTube channel. We're going to play a bit minutes of him talking, but this is his, William Tapley from YouTube, his own YouTube channel. We're going to play a bit of this from the raw story. Welcome to Revelation Unraveled. I am your host, William Tapley, also known as the third eagle of the apocalypse and the co-prophet of these end times. Satan disguises himself

as an angel of light. And that's the way it is with the Vatican these days, especially with our Pope, Francis, who is the false prophet. He also disguises himself as an angel of light. And he will be visiting Philadelphia in September at the World Meeting of Families. And this is the logo which in September at the World Meeting of Families. And this is the logo which the Vatican is promoting to announce the Pope's visit to the United States.

Okay, so I want to describe the logo, okay? So the logo looks like a bell, like the Liberty Bell kind of, I'm thinking. But the bell has silhouettes of what look like look like people what to me look like genderless people there might be a mom and a dad in there what looks like a mom and a dad because looks like one is holding a baby that's what it looks like to me yeah okay but i don't know um and then at the top of the liberty bell there's a cross and then there's just these two other little areas i guess where the liberty bell would hang it's like the hanger for the liberty bell there's a cross and then there's just these two other little areas i guess where the liberty bell would hang it's like the hanger for the liberty bell but this is like there's a bunch of silhouettes of what look like people on this particular bell you need to go to

the raw story in order to find it um you can you tell me the what are the weird monolithy things behind him oh i have no idea he's not gonna he's like i don't know what those are that looks like where he's standing he's like standing in an art project of some sort it looks like it i mean it's like fucking 2001 a space odyssey over there yeah it looks like cubert i saw like man and there's three of them that are visible yeah so maybe those are also like the monoliths of the apocalypse i think that's probably where each eagle perches. The eagle perch of the apocalypse? That's it right there.

And at first glance, you might think that this was a family logo promoting a normal marriage between a man and a woman. However, there is a hidden agenda in this logo to promote the gay agenda. That's because this image actually shows two men and their relationship is a sexual one and not one of holy matrimony. So let's take a closer look at this image and you will see that the two figures are actually in a masculine shape. They are wider at the shoulders, the upper part of the body, and they taper down just like a man. Oh my fucking God. He's looking at a stylized circle and tube and he's like oh

clearly that's a dude what are you i i have no idea looking at this i have no idea i want to mention too real quick that he's saying they're trying to like subliminally trick you into being like like i guess promoting the gay agenda, the Pope is like, if like, why wouldn't he just come out for gay people then? Cause he's clearly been anti-gay. Yeah. What,

yeah. What is the purpose of a subliminal? And I know, I know, I know. Would the subliminal thing work? Like I can understand the subliminal messaging being like, oh man,

maybe I will get some popcorn, but never in my life. Have I ever been like, oh man, maybe i will get some popcorn but never in my life have i ever been like oh man maybe i will suck it like honey do you have a dick yeah like you wake up and you're like oh god such a i got a taste for dick man i never had a dick but i guess i need to wash this vagina out of my mouth somehow fucking vag is super gross today i just want all the d never happened okay i must have watched a weird movie or something last night i feel like totally sucking a dick right now god how odd oh that's it i'm not watching signs again that's it. I'm not watching signs again. That's it. I'm done. Secondly, there is no indication that the figure on the left is a woman,

even though it is shorter than the man. And if you look at ordinary logos of men and women, for example, in outdoor public restrooms, you will see that the female always wears a dress, and that's to distinguish the female from the male. However, in the Vatican logo, there is no distinguishing between the male and the female. In fact, they are both male. This guy is decoding a fucking stylized logo. And it's unreal, man.

These could just as easily look like microphones as much as people. Are you kidding me? Or dicks. Right? You know what I mean? Or dicks. There's a shaft and a head. Right?

God, this guy has got... This guy, this is one of those guys, though. This is like that woman with the monster energy drinks. Yeah. They just find whatever they want. They're just like, well, let me tell you why this M is really 666. Let me tell you why this M is like a three on its side, but it's actually three times 300 or 222. Or you're just like, what?

What are you talking about? It's like 22 ounces times three. You've already got the 66. And then you get six ounces of fucking guineen in there. And that's your 666. It looks like a beast ate a dead. You're just like, what are you? God.

You're looking for shit to be worked up about. That's what this guy is doing. That's exactly right. And also the two children on either side. What are they? Are they boys or girls? There is no way to tell.

They are indistinguishable. Maybe they're fucking intersex, dude. Okay. No, that's the thing. There's no way to tell about those, but you're telling us that that's clearly a man up there, so those have got to be boys, too.

Everybody's like, boys? Well, hey, here's there's got to be boys, too. Right. Everybody's like, boys? Hey, here's a fucking news flash for you, though. The church is kind of all boys. Maybe they just... Maybe they are going in. Maybe they're onto something. Maybe they're subliminally all boys. I don't know. And in fact, as I said, they are wider at the top they taper to the

bottom and therefore they also are males in fact people are wider at the top and taper at the bottom if my fucking feet were as big as no women women all they all get larger as you go down no matter what they all get larger you should see. They all look like they all kind of have the same shape as Jabba the Hutt. They're big, and then they sort of tape. And their feet are actually wider than their shoulders. You can't knock them over. They're like fucking weeble wobbles. No, they have like duck feet.

All women have duck feet. Duck feet? Yeah, like wide. They look like they're wearing flippers for going in the ocean. That's what all women look like. Well, women are webbed. I mean, they're webbed for better aerodynamics in the water. They're like flying squirrels.

Flying squirrels of the apocalypse. Only three of them, though. All the figures in this logo are male. All the figures in this logo are male. And of course the reason is because, as I said, Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. And in his end times, he is going to be able to fool even the elect. What is he going to fool you into doing? Right? I don't know.

Spending too much time looking at a logo? My eyes would pass over this logo and not even see it. Can I trick you into being gay? I don't think it's that hard to trick people into being gay. If I learned anything from porn, it's about as hard as tricking a woman into blowing a guy through a pizza, right? You know, Cecil, I hate to break it to you, but I think that a lot of those storylines may be exaggerated. It sucks, too, because, man, when I was a pizza delivery guy, I put my dick in every pizza. Every pizza, right? Every single pizza.

Hey, it only needs to work once. I'd pull it out. I'd probably be like, here you go. They'd be like, keep the change, buddy. They're like, I ordered extra sausage. This is bullshit that's not there's a there's a road pepper on here there's just one lonely mushroom taste it we mushroom it is a little button mushroom there look at that little guy

he looks lonely honey give me a knife we'll share it amongst the family podcasters they live in squalor destitute and disenfranchised eking out an existence as best they can in such desolate places as chicago in pairs but otherwise alone, they suffer from hunger and thirst, barely making it day to day on store-brand chicken wings and weak domestic beer. Fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear But now you can help. For just a few dollars a podcast, pennies a day, you can give them the restaurant-style chicken wings

and imported beer that they so desperately need. For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can make a difference in their lives, allowing them the opportunity to rant unfettered, as nature intended. Please, go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today make a pledge and help these poor innocent creatures lead a life worth living what the what i know right so this is from Right Wing Watch.

Religious right pundits long for the days when people were too poor to be gay. This is pretty great. Iowa talk show radio host Steve Deese had on John Sternberger. Yes, that John Sternberger. Fucking whatever. I love when this is like two dudes who don't have a name for themselves invite each other onto the oh wait that's what we do that's kind of what we do actually but they were on this this program and they were pushing back against conservatives arguing that

government should just get out of marriage altogether so that's that's been a stance that i've heard uh undertaken several times like well fucking if we have to marry people we don't like we should just marry no people they didn't want to they didn't want to do it before this law though right right so before the before the the supreme court ruled they didn't want to do it because they were winning but now that they are not on the side that's winning they want to take it all away yeah they want to erase it i wanted to erase it beforehand i was like fine whatever yeah we are that we have that argument yeah and people and people had good arguments against it like no man we shouldn't we shouldn't

back down from this and i get it i understand i just thought it was going to be an easier route than the supreme court route i was wrong so yeah right and the supreme court thing came pretty quick yeah turns out i mean that was that was pretty great but well let's listen to Deuce and Stem here. Okay, here we go. This is, like you said, Steve Deese, nuts, and this guy Sternberger. There is a perverse political relationship. The left feeds on, sad to say, but the left feeds on broken marriages and broken families. When families are strong, when there's an economic system there, they start to understand the implications of taxes and all the economic implications of actually work. Oh my God.

Did you hear that? All the economic implications of actually working. Yeah, because no liberal in the United States actually works. No. Fucking filthy, disgusting liberals that don't work. What do you mean by strong families too do you mean like not black families i think what he means is not black not black yeah not minority and also you know you don't tell kids how sex works until they get married yeah and then they're you know they

get married at into high school because they wind up in a place where they can't even get an abortion right exactly and you know the thing is is like, I know that I'm telling you a myth, right? This is a mythical person that I'm giving you. But here's the thing. If you were to tell that story to somebody else in the, in the, in that party, they would agree. They'd say, that's a good thing that that person didn't know. They didn't know about any kind of how sex works or any kind of contraception.

They didn't have access to contraception. They wound up getting married because they couldn't get an abortion. Those are all goods. That's a good thing. Yes. Yeah, that's the plan is working on the right. Yeah. The plan is working.

We don't tell them. I mean, I say that, but what they really think is that if you don't tell kids about sex, they won't have it. That's what they really seem to think. That's what they say, although they clearly haven't. I mean, look at fucking Sarah Palin's kid. Yeah, but I don't think evidence is really a barrier for this. Right? Like, I mean, what you're saying is they have to know that this is not

true because the evidence points out that this isn't true constantly. But I'm not convinced that evidence has any relevance to their... Yeah, that's true. It clearly doesn't influence the belief system. And reward instead of having, as Mike Huckabee says, instead of having a minimum wage, we want a maximum wage. We want to figure out a way to increase wealth, not just give them the minimum thing that they can get from the government. Nobody wants – I mean like that's the thing they don't understand is that there's very few people out there who are just saying, all I want is what the government can give me.

All I want is what the government can give me. I was poor. I know a lot of other people that were poor. Nobody ever thought I'm going to settle for what the government gives me, and that's it. Plus, the government doesn't pay the minimum wage. The government doesn't pay a minimum wage. The government just guarantees a minimum wage.

That's all it does. It just says an employer can't pay you less than this dollar value. I mean, look at countries that don't have a minimum wage. You know, look at like manufacturing in China. Your fucking iPhone is made by people making fucking nickels a week or some bullshit, right? Like in fucking deplorable conditions, fucking clothes are made in Bangladesh and factories that collapse around people while they're paid garbage starvation wages. You know, what that is, is that's capitalism run amok, right? We don't have true capitalism. We never did. And it's a good fucking thing. We've got regulated capitalism. We've got free-ish markets.

And that's a positive thing. Government's been involved in setting a minimum wage because that sets a minimum standard of living. And the minimum standard of living, the minimum wage, has not grown with people. Well, this is all pick and choose just like the Bible, right? They'll pick and choose what parts of capitalism they really want. And it's the part that gets them super rich and keeps the government out of their pocket so they want all the benefits of what the government does but they don't want to pay the taxes for it sure they want all the they want all the the money that they can get but the moment that that their own system falls out from

underneath them like the wall street stuff they want to get bailed out yeah right right that's exactly right you know it's like this maximum we want to set a maximum wage well fucking there's lots of people who are never going to reach a maximum wage here's the thing in fucking other countries there is a maximum wage there's a place there that's a thing so you if you're like a ceo you can't make more than x times you're the the person at your business. There's a maximum wage. Yeah, and there's some countries where it's like three or four times, and that's it. It's not 85 times what somebody at your work.

Why is it like 400 times in the States, isn't it? Yeah, it could be. I don't know. I think in the States, in some instances, it's like 400 plus times, or the average or something. Let's look it up. Let's look it up. Let's look it up. Huh?

774 times as much as minimum wage earners. I'm looking at CVS right now. 422. Walt Disney 283. 21st Century Fox 268. But there's some in these. Some of these are relatively small. 30s.

The guy from Sears isn't taking a wage. He's making 0%. 18 to 1 at Costco. Yeah, see, that's a real. 9 to 1 at Berkshire Hathaway. But that's Warren Buffett. Right. What the fuck does he need money for?

That's interesting, too, because Berkshire Hathaway, I wonder how many minimum wage people they employ. I know that they're a real estate company, or they've ventured into real estate, like they're a brokerage. Hewlett Packard, six to one. Six to one, I'm okay with that. It's a technology company, right? So they're going to pay their people pretty good for the most part. And that's the thing, that's probably why. If the person's making a half a million dollars a year, because because the other people are making and they're probably making more than probably

making a million because you probably figure there's somebody there you know you know i don't know what the what the pay scale is is it average pay to their well i'm i'm looking so ceos 331 times as much as average workers i see so it's average worker And then 774 times as much as minimum wage earners. So, you know, I just did the math. Like if you're making 774 times the minimum wage, you're making $5,805 an hour. $5,805 an hour, you're making $12 million a year. Yeah, I think when this guy's saying maximum wage, he's not thinking of it in the same sense. He's thinking, I want to maximize

my profits, and I want to maximize my amount of money that I get. Not that the government would set a maximum wage like the ratios that we're talking about. Yeah, I actually think he's saying like, I think we should set maximums for, like, I think he's saying like, people should aim high, not aim low.

I think that's what he's saying. That's what he's saying. Instead of like, because that is a real thing. Like saying. Because that is a real thing. A maximum wage is a real thing. Yeah, but he's not actually talking about a real maximum wage. He's just fucking bootstrapping. That's what he's doing. That was an endorsement of Huckabee, by the way. It was just something he said that I thought was good.

Sure. I think ultimately what we're really debating here is what is the role of government? And where do those jurisdictions come from? And ultimately, what we're really debating here is what is the role of government and where do those jurisdictions come from? And ultimately, what are we accountable to? And this just happens to be one of the main battlefronts at the moment. And I've always believed, John, you had to have the welfare state before the sexual revolution, because prior to the welfare state, we're not the first decadent culture in the history of this world, and we won't be the last. But prior to the welfare state, decadence in affluent cultures like ours usually only happened or primarily happened in the affluent classes where you could afford to have multiple wives, where you could afford to have gay lovers, where you could afford to impregnate someone and just kind of leave them behind as a concubine. The average worker in the worker class in previous affluent societies could barely afford one wife and one group of kids, rather than to act out immorally, didn't have someone else picking up the tab for his immoral actions.

No one was subsidizing his depravity. We have that today, which is why the sexual revolution came after the welfare state, because once it was obvious people were not going to be directly held accountable for their actions, we removed the inhibitions against human nature that we already had. What the what? I was going to say the same thing. I'm trying to make sense.

I'm listening to this, Cecil, and I'm trying to make sense of it. So you're telling me that there was a time and a place in other affluent societies where I couldn't afford to be gay. So if I were a gay dude, how does that cost me more money again? I got two incomes from two men that work and probably no kids. So explain to me, because I'll tell you what motherfucker like i could be single and i would have more money in my pocket than i have right now that's terrible that's terrible but it's like how how in the how in the actual fuck can i can't wrap my brain around it i can't what he's talking about is that is that somehow you're subsidizing someone's

choice to be gay because they think that they can somehow live off the government because i mean i really can't i can't wrap my brain around it i can't figure this out and then he's also decrying he's clearly decrying the sexual revolution i mean he's saying the sexual revolution came after the welfare state this is what he says because once it was obvious that people were not going to be held directly accountable for their actions we remove the inhibitions against human nature that we already had how is it that welfare makes you not responsible for your actions is because he's trying to say is i i think that uh that we're subsidizing how people live.

Like people live this way. It was expensive. He makes a false statement. The first is the false premise that it's more expensive to be sexually depraved. Being sexually depraved in his opinion, and I'm using his opinion now. I'm not saying that being gay is depraved. Being gay is depraved. I'm just saying anything that is different from his sort of lie there and close your eyes in the missionary position, dear, sort of sex is depraved to this guy.

So what he's saying is that it's expensive somehow. It's a false premise to start your argument with. But then he works the rest of the argument out and it doesn't make any sense because it starts on a false – It's like, it's not more that you can be completely broke and have sex. Right. You can be completely whatever kind of sex you want. You know, you, you can have mostly any kind of sex. Yeah. I mean, you clearly, you can't buy like a high price escort, but other than that, most of the stuff is pretty, you know, it's, it's right there for you.

Maybe the mile high club is off limits. Yeah. But, but you know, you can do all kinds of weird... You can do all kinds of stuff. Sure. And the thing is that there's probably always going to be

other willing people in your social strata that are willing to do it with you. Right. So the idea that you're not... that you're somehow not going to be able

to do it because of funds is silly. Fuck it. It's a goofy argument, man. Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head.

This is amazing from right-wing watch. Donald Trump delivers his uniquely Christian message to Liberty University, a fine, esteemed, established, accredited university. So Trump has a couple of, a couple of i don't know clips we can listen to but yeah there's two of them there's two of them the one's like 140 one's 40 seconds they're both just him just being a douchebag but the thing i think that's interesting is i thought christians were supposed to sort of turn the other cheek, but it doesn't sound like it in these, in these clips. So we'll just play them. We get called by the Libyans. They were being routed. If you remember, they were being routed by Gaddafi. It was over. So the rebels, you know, like gone with the wind,

the nice romantic term rebels, most of them came from Iran and they were fighting us in Iraq, term, rebels. Most of them came from Iran and they were fighting us in Iraq. But the rebels convinced us to spend billions of dollars on helping them. Now, if Jerry were in this position, if I were in this position, or if somebody that had some brain power were in the position did you hear the America what is that what somebody said he was like America I'll play it again for you we're in the position that's amazing that is so stereotypical i it there's either it's either a troll in the audience or it's somebody who is just they're perfect they're perfect in every way right they're a genetically modified superhuman republican they're like the universal soldier of Republican Party.

It's like Dolph Lundgren is in the audience right now. They were born with a fucking John Deere cap sewn into their scalp. They have a totally non-ironic John Deere cap sewn, trucker style cap with a frayed bill. And it's puffy. It's like really puffy.

Yeah. No matter how much they hike up their pants they always show a littleayed bill. And it's puffy. It's like really puffy. Yeah. And it's, yeah. No matter how much they hike up their pants, they always show a little ass crack. No, no, no. They wear bib overalls. Don't be ridiculous.

You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. What was I thinking? Some people disagree with this and I don't know, maybe you people will disagree. I would have said very simply,

we will help you, but we want 50% of your oil. And they would have said, absolutely. And the only reason I wouldn't have asked for 75% is because I want to be a nice person, okay? Like you. We go into Iraq. We spend $1.5 trillion. They hate us, and we get nothing.

You know, in the old days, when you had a war, it was to the victor belong the spoils. When we went into Iraq... When the Republicans took us into Iraq, yeah. We did overthrow the government. Right. But we didn't do it under the pretense that we were attacking them to take over their country, were we? No, we were liberating them. Right. That was the that was the spin. Right. Right. When we went over there was that we were liberating.

Well, the narrative spun a couple of times. Right. So the initial the initial narrative was that they have weapons of mass destruction that could be deployed against the United States in like 45 minutes. And they couldn't find those. But then once that became somewhat tenuous, then it was, no, we liberated them from their, you know, the oppressive, oppressive, tyrannical regime of Saddam Hussein, who was oppressive and tyrannical. Sure, sure. Yeah. So but yeah, so it depends on which of the two narratives you're working on. Was there ever a point where the victor would have gotten any spoils? No, because I think if you were to go with the victor, because it like in the olden days,

people didn't go to war for the same reasons that we go to war. They go to war for conquer. Like you went to war to conquer your enemy to take their land. Right? That's what you do. But we didn't. I mean, there was no at least outright narrative to be like – We didn't annex the country. Right.

That's what I mean. It's not like – at least we didn't say it out loud, right? At least we didn't say out loud like, hey, we are going to war with Iraq because we want to just own Iraq. Right? We came up with a whole host of other reasons. So unless you're going to go with the original reasons and be like, yes, we are an imperialist nation, and we are expanding our borders to now include Iraq, then to the victor would go the spoils, right?

Then yes. But it would also be a World War move, you know, if we were just going to be like expanding our borders into yeah it would this guy as president he either would not behave this way as he says he would as he says he would or he would get us embroiled into an international conflict a massive international conflict a one. A one that you couldn't easily extricate yourself from. Yeah, this guy would be, I mean,

there'd be no takesies-backsies on the shit that he would... The fact that people are cheering for him, like, yeah! There's people cheering in the audience, and you're like, I would have held them hostage for their oil. Yeah, I would have bankrupt and already bankrupt and shattered nation. So I would have gone into a nation under the guise of liberating them from an oppressive regime, and I would have installed my own economically crushing oppressive regime.

Sure, sure. This guy can say – he's really in a position right now where he just is saying anything. He's saying anything, Cecil. And his poll numbers I'm actually, I don't want to say I'm worried, but I ain't worried. That's awesome, dude. Not only, okay, look, okay, so it'll be a

if he gets into the presidency, it will be four years and we'll probably won't be a nation anymore, but it'll be the best four years ever. It'll be the best four years of this show. Yeah. Until they shut us down, right? Like, yeah, until, well well until china comes in and we're speaking chinese right oh my god this guy's his poll numbers continue to rise all americans right now 45 favorable to hillary 33 to jeb bush 33 to trump jesus what bernie sanders is only 23 ran paul 28 huckabee 30 huckabee 30

registered voters again 44 and 34 for hillary and jeb it's gonna be a fucking clinton bush race dude it's gonna be clinton versus bush i know isn't that funny it's weird so weird but you know he's talking, he's talking about running as a third party. Which would destroy the Republican Party. Oh yeah, they would not. If he does, that would detonate the Republican Party. Because that's what Perot did. Right.

And it just ruined everything. Because there was no Democrats back then who were going to vote for Perot. Or very few. Back when Perot was the third party. As I recall, he was the third party in the Clinton-Bush race. Well, and who was the—when George W. got installed, there was a third-party Green candidate. Who was that? Oh, he was that candidate.

Ralph Nader. Nader, yeah. Yeah, people were excited about—I remember people were excited about Ralph Nader. Nader. Yeah. Yeah. People were excited about. I remember people were excited about Ralph Nader. Do you remember that? Yeah. People were super excited. Now, granted, I was in college.

Those college campuses were excited about Ralph Nader. But, you know, a lot of people say that the presence of Ralph Nader as a as a semi nearly almost kind of want to quasi-viable candidate, ripped a lot of votes away from the Democratic Party and helped to give that race to George W. Yeah. Which, I mean, if you think about it, that changed all of history. I mean, Perot didn't win any states, but he wound up pulling in 19 million votes.

Yeah, that's a swing, and that's a lot of votes. Perot pulled in 19 million votes back then. 18% of the voting public, or the votes that day, went to him, almost 19%. But he didn't pull in a single state. Bush, who was the incumbent at the time, 39% or 39 million, 37% of people voted for him. But then 43% voted for clinton 44 percent and that was enough i think for perot because i think i think they probably would have kept bush in there yeah if perot wouldn't run third party candidates right now just just fucking detonate whatever side they come from yeah you know and that's and that sucks too because what it what it does is it's

really kind of sad because what it's what's good about it is is it's giving your own party a sense of choice it's saying this is awesome i have a sense of choice in my own party now i can either vote for this guy or this guy and it's you know somebody who more closely no matter what somebody is going to more closely match your beliefs because if you have two choices over one there's going to be one that's going to be closer, you know? So it's, it's, there's a really cool, it's a really cool thing, but it actually punishes that side. And so nobody does it.

Right. And it's so funny you say that because it's, it, what it injects such energy into that party. I remember the energy that was injected into the, into the, again, the, the, the democratic green party, you know, during 2000, there's so much energy and it's like it's all for naught. You know, like the more energetic that side of the of the arc is like, well, we have a choice. We like you were saying, like, we got an option. Well, I've got two candidates I can pick from and they they represent, you know, these two different sides of of my party and i'm so

excited because this choice will ultimately mean none of them win yeah it's like oh great yeah you you want to try to avoid it in our system yeah i would much rather see a part like a whole bunch of people run where you get like you know let's say there's seven or eight people that wind up in the final ballot i'd love to see something like that. Three or four from each party. Yep. That would be cool. That would be cool. Where they didn't just pick one person

to put all their votes against. That's why the primaries do that. That's why in the primaries they pick one person. They pick the primary person so that they can maximize the votes for one single person. Yeah, right.

It'd be kind of cool if it was your top two. Your top two show up. You know, that's it. Who's on?? You know, the Democrats, here's the film. And that would change the whole game when you talk about somebody like McCain, right? If it was McCain and say, who else was big back then? I'm trying to think. But let's just say Gingrich, right? Let's say it's McCain and Gingrich, right? You know, and let's say it was two schmucks on the Democratic side and McCain was being a lot more centrist.

I may vote McCain. Right. Yeah. You might actually have a chance to reach those people on the other side of the aisle. Yep. You might have choices that feel like choices. So we want to thank – we just recorded the other night, so we only had a couple of new patrons. We want to thank Ingmar, Martin, and Stephen

for their generous donations. Thank you all so very much. We appreciate all the patrons. And actually, the patrons are going to be getting these two shows pretty early because we're going to be recording, like we said, two weeks in advance because we're both going out of town. But the patrons will get them,

the patrons are actually getting them both at the same time. We'd encourage you, if you want to give money to the show, you can visit patreon.com and you can donate per episode to Cognitive Dissonance. So we got a message from Andrew and he said,

by the way, when you guys are sitting down to record both the episodes, why don't you guys record both the intros too? As in have Tom just read it twice and then introduce it to the show for a couple of different shows so that you can put the second one in front. He's like, no offense, Cecil, but it doesn't feel the same when you introduce the show quickly, letting us know that Tom isn't around. Obviously, you guys are doing great stuff, but can you continue to do things how you want? But I just want to let you know. Yeah, and we're probably going to do that tonight um tom will do another intro for the next show uh tonight

but to be honest many many times uh we put together a you know a couple of hours worth of material and only an hour of it is usable so on rare occasions we will run into two full hours that actually is usable and we'll cut it and we'll put it out there. But there's very often we don't know when we finish a recording session whether or not there's going to be two or one episodes based on it. Actually, many times what will happen is we'll be able to save a couple of stories. But what happens is there's just not enough to get a whole episode. So Tom and I wind up recording anyway. So the show is heavily edited.

So what you're hearing is an edited portion of what we're doing. So it's not as easy. The planning sessions just don't work out like that. So they're just going to have to, I don't know, you're just going to have to deal with me sometimes introducing the show. People out there are like, wait a minute, it's edited and it still sounds like this? Yeah, I know. It's the best I can do.

We got a message from Bob. Sorry to be pedantic, but the reference to your uncertainty about Canada in episode 239, Canada is a federal, parliamentary, democracy, and a constitutional monarchy.

Our prime minister is Stephen Harper and Queen Elizabeth II is the head of the state is that a first? is that like an old timey one? do they go from the old timey ones? was that the first one? Queen Elizabeth back in the day and then this is the second one?

like the popes do? do you get to pick your queen name when you get made queen? like the popes get to be like innocent the 32nd or something see the thing is is no one is alive since before she became queen so nobody knows it's impossible i don't even think they had a written record you can just you can just make it up at this point in any case i'm going to continue reading it says uh she's currently the head of state and then um bob

left a picture of a beaver mountie holding a canadian flag riding a moose standing in the rocky mountains so we're going to post this as in this episode, show notes, uh, just so you could see it. This is, this is episode two 41. Uh,

it's a great image. It's so Canada. I mean, it is all I need is a bottle of maple syrup and it is right there. It's amazing. Uh, we got a correction on the, uh,

new Madrid fault. I had said it was St. Louis, but it's not, it looks like it's, uh, South of St on the uh new madrid fault i had said it was st louis but it's not it looks like it's uh south of st louis and new madrid which is uh i guess down the mirror the tip of the state rather than by st louis which is a little bit farther up so thank you for the correction richard i didn't realize that it was uh it was the new i you know i knew it was new madrid but i guess i didn't know where new madrid was i had no idea i actually

always assumed it was around i i thought i thought i knew that it was around st louis but maybe maybe i just know that st louis is fucked if it goes off yeah i think that's i think that's what it is is that people think immediately people immediately equate it to st louis getting fucked over but it's not under st louis but it's close enough by where it'll fuck it up and people in st louis are just like, eh, we wouldn't even notice. They'll be like, whatever. Just take shelter under the arch. Under the arch?

That's like the whole town of St. Louis. The whole city of St. Louis is under the arch all at one time. They do a giant cheerleader pyramid underneath it. So David in Kentucky sent us a comic and I'm going to link to it in our show notes 241 uh he sent along a comic from scenes from the multiverse and it has to do with nerds so if you're interested in seeing it i'm not going to try to read it or do it any justice it's a funny

comic and i kind of laughed i chuckled at it i thought it was funny uh so check it out it's scenes uh like i said scenes, scenes from a multiverse. And I have it linked on this episode, show notes, episode 241. I think we found in Lydia here, Tom, our mismanners. This is absolutely wonderful. I read this and I was like, this is perfect. I'm going to read Lydia's email here. Lydia says, on a recent episode, you had a caller who was uncertain how to respond to religious comments such as have a blessed day.

Here's a response that can work for comments that you don't want to directly answer or agree with, but you also don't want to directly challenge. Answer immediately with and and whatever else you would have said. So here's some examples. have a blessed day and respond with and you have a wonderful afternoon i'll pray for you respond with and thank you for coming the person says the person says i hope i see you in church sunday and respond with and i look forward to seeing you again and what she says is and the and allows you to piggyback on the remark without having to respond to it, which is brilliant. So like it's just a social thing that you just like.

I'm sure I knew it. I just didn't know. I just didn't know how to articulate it. And this is such a perfectly crafted email and it works perfectly. Not only that, you could also use it by saying you could just you could just change the subject immediately. So when they say we missed you at church, you could say, well, it's nice to see you too. I love that one. It's great.

It's just perfect. Where were you during the prayers? Hi, how's your daughter's piano practice going? I love it. It just completely changed the subject. Really great, Lydia. Thank you very much. I think this is exactly how you should respond to it.

Just change the subject. Just say and and go with whatever you were going to say anyway. I would be afraid that I would change the subject in a moment of panic to something horrifyingly inappropriate. Like the Austin Powers moley, moley, moley. I'd be like, we missed you at church. I'd be like, I got a new flashlight. You just blurt something out. I'd just be like, I got a new flashlight. You just blurt something out. Just be like, oh, my God.

Where were you during prayers? I love anal. Right? Yeah. So we got a picture. And this is of Eggman. And Eggman took a picture of himself in the middle of nowhere Scotland in front of a place called the Glory Hall. And he is contemplating going in it.

And I think – I'm not sure. But I think this is the – is this the place that everybody always tries to send us a message about, this Glory Hall? I don't know. I think actually that we get a different i think it's a different image is it a different image that gets sent all the time yeah uh but anyway this is a very funny image of egg man and we're going to post it on this week's show notes so if you want to check it out it's on episode 241 it's pretty great and it's nice to see that you're prepared for flooding at any time with those pants so tom we got a message from jeff in baltimore he

said he just started drinking whiskey, and he says he doesn't know anything except for we hate Canadian whiskey, so he's interested in what we would suggest for a good starter whiskey. Yeah, so, and he's saying specifically he's looking for something inexpensive. I love bourbons.

Bourbons are inexpensive just by nature. They don't age them typically as long as they do for scotches. And as a result, I think from an ingredient standpoint and importation, they don't have to worry about it. Bourbons are just, I think they're really accessible. They're a little sweeter.

And you don't have to spend a fortune. You can still get something pretty good. Buffalo Trace is a distillery. And almost everything out of Buffalo Trace I like. Buffalo Trace itself and then, you and then Cecil, you drink Knob Creek. I do. Knob Creek, and it's an inexpensive bottle of bourbon, too. That's a $25 bottle of bourbon.

Yeah, it's an inexpensive bottle of bourbon, and it's a solid bourbon. I like Woodford Reserve. I think that's under $30. That's a little citrusy. That's good. I think Jefferson's is also under $32. There's so many decent bottles of booze. Yeah, that are under $30, sure.

Right. Yeah. I will say the one scotch that comes to mind, a good starter scotch, if you're interested in getting a scotch, would be the Glen Levitt. I think that that's probably the one starter scotch that it's a single malt, relatively inexpensive. You don't have to get one that's aged like the 27-year or whatever. You can get the cheapest one. And it's a smooth, good scotch. If you're going to drink, I drink.

You're going to want to try whiskey differently if I would suggest that you try whiskey both neat with ice and also with a little water to see which one you like the best. Try the same drink three different ways. So taste it straight. See what you think. best uh try the same drink three different ways so taste it straight see what you think if it's too harsh or there's too many uh sort of uh alcohol if the alcohol is a little too strong you could always throw an ice cube in it and i like ice cube in mine i like it both cold and i also like that when the water get it starts mixing with water it makes it a little more palatable and it opens up the flavors too um some people just instead will throw several drops of water in their whiskey.

So they'll just take water and just put a little bit of, or just take whiskey and put a little bit of water in it. That also opens it up too. So it's really just how you like it. I know Tom, you like your whiskey neat. I like mine on the rocks. So I,

and I'm normally just one rock is what I like. I like one good ice cube in there, a nice size ice cube. And, but try a couple of different ones. Those are two types of whiskeys that we like. Now, there's plenty of other different types of whiskeys out there. A really accessible Irish whiskey I think is Jameson's. There's plenty of other different types of whiskey out there, but I normally stick to those two.

Those are the ones that I really like. And don't get fooled by Whiskey Stones, by the way. I've got a set and they're garbage. Like, if you're going to chill your drink and you don't want to water your drink down, but you still want to chill it, frozen grapes are a great solution for that. And then you get boozy grapes. And then you get fucking

amazing boozy grapes when you're done. I love that. I think that's an awesome... I keep frozen grapes in my freezer for that all the time. All right. So that's going to wrap it up for this week. You're going to get half of what we recorded tonight, and then you're going to get that next half next week. And then we're going to come back.

When we come back, we should be having a brand new show when we return. So we're recording now and we'll be returning back with a brand new, excellent well-produced... Who are we kidding? What? Are we going to get a new show? Are you getting a new co-host? We're not getting... We're hoping... We're going to aim for the 13th for a midweek show, but we're not sure

that that's going to happen. It might be the 17th. But in any case, you'll be getting a show on the 3rd and the 10th, but they were both recorded a little early. But we hope you enjoy them, and we are going to leave you like we always do with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

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Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. so this next clip uh is being played after everything's over because it was kind of us just talking while the mics were warming up and while we were just sort of going through notes and whatnot. The conversation revolves around a TV piece done on ABC called What Would You Do? And if you're unfamiliar with the show, it's like a candid camera show. They put cameras all over and then they hire actors to do something that normally would evoke some sort of response in the people around them. And then they sort of gauge that response and and he was an actor and then another person was an actor in line basically making comments about somebody being Muslim and being allowed to be in this country and how dare you and yada, yada, yada, and just starting to see if they could elicit some response from the people in the line, what those people would say, whether those

people would agree or disagree. I saw another one that I mentioned actually in this clip that you're going to listen to where a man sits down with a woman. They're both actors at a bar and the woman gets up and walks away, but everybody else at the bar is just normal people and the guy very obviously and walks away, but everybody else at the bar is just, you know, normal people. And the guy very obviously and clumsily puts a roofie in her drink and they go to see what people would do, how they would react, et cetera. It's really just sort of a gotcha show. But in this particular case, what happened is, is there was an atheist, somebody who portraying an

atheist off to the side and a group of people portraying a praying family. So they're at a restaurant. They hold hands. They pray a little loudly. And then the atheist gets upset and irate at them for praying in this place. And then they wait to see what other people would say. So that's what the basis of this conversation started as. of this conversation started as like i don't ever want anybody to feel like um they're listening to this show and they need to attack religion or that religion is you know that somebody shouldn't be

religious you know i mean like i don't think i think people should be religious if they want to be who cares you know i mean like like the thing is is like i don't care about random people's life enough to worry about that you know what i mean like that's not a thing that i worry about now do i think that religion is an is you know i don't want to say an overall negative but doesn't have major negative qualities yes absolutely it does absolutely i'm not going to argue that i'm not going to i i'm on your side when it comes to that but i don't think it's i don't think it's right to attack the religious because they're religious do you know what i mean does that make sense i get what you yeah so i mean like if you

just run into somebody and they happen to be religious it's got fucking nothing to do with you why do you care right yeah when you start caring is i think at the same point that i start caring it's you start caring when you know they caring, it's you start caring when, you know, they're picking the textbooks. You start caring when they are defunding climate research. You start caring when, you know, that's that's the point when you start to give a shit. Sure, sure. Or at least for me, or if you're going to engage me in a debate about ideas, then I will vociferously defend, you know, a different worldview than the religious are going to espouse.

And that's fine too, right? If they're going to go into a debate, I agree. Sure. So if you're going to, you know, try to convert me or we're going to have a debate or something, then we're going to have that kind of conversation. But if they're just a guy who's a Catholic that you know? Yeah, I don't give a fuck that they're a Catholic. Who cares?

Right. Because what's the harm for me like where's the skin off my back that you're like it's like yeah i'm just so because i don't i know how many people do you know that are you know more religious people than i know a ton of religious people i work with a ton of religious people right i forget about that all the time and it's like your world is yeah i just i work with a ton of religious people and i think your perspective is very different than mine because mine is more of an echo chamber than yours. Like my world is much more insulated, I think, than your world is in terms of my exposure to people that are religious.

I have almost no exposure to people's religious viewpoints at all. Sure. Like at all because most of my friends aren't religious. My family is not openly religious. I don't even know if my dad believes or doesn't believe, and he's really the only family I have to speak of. And then at my work, it's a secular workplace. So it just doesn't come up.

It would be inappropriate. If it came up, I would have to nip it in the bud and be like, you know, we're just going to leave those kinds of conversations to someplace other than the workplace. And that's my job to nip that shit in the bud. Actually, being an atheist at work, one of the things that happens is they have this, they are, I think, in a lot of ways,

an echo chamber into themselves, right? So they sort of feed each other. All the religious people feed each other, but they know I'm an atheist. So they will say something like, you need to have something higher than yourself in order to do this type of work. They're talking about whatever it is. Let's say it's immigration reform or something.

You need to believe in something higher than yourself. But they'll stop and they'll look at me and they'll say sometimes that's the law. You know what I mean? Like they'll have an extra thing there that sort of insulates that. So they can have their belief in god to help them through but for me it's a belief in humanity you know what i mean like it's a it's a trust in humanity it's a it's a willingness to make the world better for me whereas to them you ever want to god are you ever tempted to push back and be like that's inside me so that's not outside of me

no i i would never i either i'm just curious like i don't feel pushy yeah i don't feel that pushy about it i know they're they mean well yeah i mean like and the thing is they all know i'm a moral person they all know i help other people out they all know that you know i'm not a selfish you know brooding atheist who's only there to fucking like dash other humans dreams you are an extremely i i i would i would consider you to be one of the most morally well-guided people that i know and i don't say that to to be overly kind because i don't like to be kind i know you don't like to be kind especially yeah i mean i really don't but like i would consider you to be one of the most morally

conscious people that i like to think i am yeah yeah there are there have been there have been times we've been together where I've been like, oh, I wouldn't have even thought that. It just wouldn't have even occurred to me. And it's raised my awareness on occasion. So that's interesting. I would be tempted, I think,

I don't know, like, maybe I'm just argumentative a little bit by nature. And by maybe, I mean definitively I'm argumentative by nature. You very are. I mean definitively. You are very argumentative. You very are. I don't know if I would thrive in your workplace or if I would be frustrated. They're super welcoming. Because I can still be polite.

Yeah, they're super welcoming. I argue with my boss a lot. Yeah, because I think that sounds interesting. I would love to talk to your boss. He's a doctorate in theology, and we argue all the time. He's a doctorate in theology and we argue all the time. So it's like – and the thing is like we got into an argument about macro versus micro evolution one time. And I was just like – and he was saying, well, that's just – he's like there's no examples of macro evolution.

And I'm like, well, that's a made-up bullshit idea. I was like that's not a real thing. Like that's a thing that somebody made up to try to debunk evolution. That's not a thing. That's funny because he's Catholic up to try to debunk evolution. That's not a thing. That's funny because he's Catholic and the Catholic line is pro-evolution. I know, which is weird to me. And that's what I said to him. I said, don't you believe in evolution? He's like, yeah, but at the same time he's like, I can see the points

of the people who believe that and I'm like, well, are you talking about intelligent design? And he couldn't put his finger on it. The other thing, though, too, is that he has some really great things that he thinks about you know in the sense of you know what god is what his feelings i mean it's neat stuff uh from afar it's not anything i believe in but it's neat stuff from afar to like sort of see how someone thinks about those sorts of things i think that that's a you know it doesn't bother me like that's the thing is like we're talking

about that that abc thing where they fucking yeah they had the fake atheist stood up and yelled at the fake praying family yelled at the fake praying family yeah it's all fake right and it's like like i don't doubt that there are people out there that will do that like i don't doubt that there's a there's an asshole atheist out there that would do that but that whole show is based on people being assholes so the fact that they depicted an asshole doesn't even affect me it's like yes the whole show is people being you know rude or people being um you know downright doing things that are illegal i told you about the one show where they had the roofies the guy was putting roofies openly in a girl's drink at the bar so you know they're always depicting the shady people. They're always depicting the bad people.

So I don't think that those, first off, I think that there are people out there that would even do that. But secondly, and I don't think that there's a fucking million of them. I think it's probably like one or two jackasses out there that do something like that. But the fact is,

is like, I don't take offense to that ABC thing because I don't fucking consider myself a person who would ever even consider doing that so it's like so to me it's like oh well who cares yeah so you don't see an equal sign being drawn not at all by abc so the way but let me ask you this like atheists get because here's the here's the counter that that occurs to me is like atheists get almost no media attention. There's very few depictions of atheists in media, right?

Sure. And, and it seems like when atheists are depicted in media, it's usually in a caricaturized fashion. Or it's in a way that they will eventually see that, that some sort of rue is real. Right. Yes. Yeah.

So, you know, it'll be like, it's almost always in a characterized way. You know, it's just, it's ridiculous. I think about one of my favorite depictions of somebody who is like a scientific minded, somebody maybe who was even an atheist. I don't know if he's an atheist or not, but he certainly seemed like it. Is Johnny Depp in the Headless Horseman movie that he did. There's, it's like a, it's like a Tim Burton. Sleepy Hollow?

Yeah. Tim Burton. Yeah. Sleepy Hollow. there's it's like a it's like a tim burton sleepy hollow yeah tim burton yeah sleepy hollow he comes in and he's totally forensic minded trying to figure out all this and it's like he can't step away from the mystic shit because it's all mystical it's all crazy and it's all you know fucking blood trees and what you know what i mean like it's all this crazy yeah so that's what that's the quintessential sort of thing i see that happens in most movies is that you come in an atheist but you leave a

believer you leave a believer right yeah because you were you know you know and that's so funny too because because if you pause and consider that i know this is something of a tangent but like if you pause and consider that it's like their viewpoint really never changed right it was they didn't believe because there was no evidence. Then there was evidence. Yeah. Then they believed because of the evidence. That's so true, right?

It's like, and it makes me, yeah, if I saw a blood tree, I would be like, yeah, I got to rethink my worldview. That's the thing. It's like, it's no longer faith. Yeah. Right. It's like if God shows up tomorrow and starts doing some shit and you're just like, well, okay. I would not be an atheist in the face of evidence of God.

I had a dream last night where something very similar happened to me where I was in a dream and had this ghosts that were like right on the side of my vision. And I knew they were ghosts and I was like, shit, I didn't think there was really was really ghosts but now i gotta like think about this right you know what i mean that's like what does that mean for me and it was like fucking exactly it's like your brain just blows up but then i you know like i fucking wound up shopping naked at jewel or whatever two seconds later because it's a dream and who cares right right i can't find my locker exactly yeah yeah i couldn't find my fucking you know whatever it was my bag or something right you know so it's like so i i but at the same time it's like even in my dreams i'm like wait what the fuck like oh shit that's a real thing i gotta consider it now yeah right right and so like the thing is is like people don't understand that you know i'm willing to

be convinced by any evidence man if you give me evidence and it's fucking hard evidence and you can be like this is a fucking real thing i'm willing to listen yeah i'm here i'm willing to listen the only reason that i'm an atheist is the same reason that anybody's an atheist or or or doesn't believe in anything else right like i'm an atheist because for the same reason i don't believe in leprechauns right but if i go to the fucking zoo tomorrow and i go to the leprechaun exhibit yeah then i'm gonna be like well fucking you got me on the leprechaun issue, it turns out. I was fucking mistaken on that. They're like eating Lucky Charms.

They're magically delicious. You caught me in this cage, I did. Oh, you put the rainbow right here. I went right in. You silly bastards. We're just little people. We don't belong in cages. This is slavery, it is.

But like, it doesn't bother you at all that ABC chose to caricaturize atheists again as strident, militant. Does it bother me that ABC decided to depict a man as drugging a girl's drink? Yeah, okay. All right, no. No? Fucking game, set, match. You got me there. You know what I mean?

Like, I just don't identify with those atheists. Yeah, right. Same way you don't identify with rapists. I don't identify with rapists either.