Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 243: I Don’t Know a Lot of Lions

Episode Date: August 17, 2015

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey Cecil and Tom from Cognitive Dissonance. I've been following William Tapley since 2010. And I want to know if you know that he's also a musical artist. This morning my wife texted me at 4 o'clock in the morning to tell me that you guys had mentioned dear William Tapley on your show. And I, in bed, of course, checked my text and fell back asleep. And then I had a dream. William Tapley ran towards me in a hallway with a boombox over his head with the intention of singing one of his paranoid prophecy songs. And first I thought, well, good stuff, Bill. Maybe your mix will be better. And then he set down his boombox and proceeded to rap. So fuck you guys for making it clear

that the third ego of the apocalypse and the co-prophet of the end times has a place in my subconscious where he raps. Fuck you. Keep up the good work, and enjoy many glory holes. Hey guys, this is Mike from California again. As many of you know, I work for a television provider. Anyways, every time I do an install, and I'm done, they give a customer a post-call survey

to rate me 1 through 10, 10 being the best. This time around, I got all 9, and that's pretty rare for me. I usually get all 10. And my supervisor called me and said, what happened out there? I don't know. You tell me. So he calls the customer, and the customer says, only God deserves all 10.

And I was like, what the fuck? So he was completely blown away, and my supervisor calls me back, and I was like, what the fuck? So he was completely blown away. My suit calls me back and I was like, so what happened? And he tells me that and he goes, hey, don't even worry about it. This shit happens all the time. Customers tell him that. Anyways, that being said, I felt like calling the customer and being like, next time you have a fucking service call, call Jesus. Fucking asshole. Blow your hole. Hey guys, this is Glenn calling from Abu Dhabi.

I'm a South African living in Abu Dhabi. Just wanted to call and let you know that you guys nearly got me in serious trouble the other day. I was driving my car down the road

listening to the podcast a little too loud and your call to prayer, the long black cock call to prayer came on and I got some very, very dissatisfied looks from the car next to me.

Suffice to say, I sped off in the other direction. Thank God I wasn't driving in Saudi at the time. Anyways, keep up the good work, guys. Glory Hall, motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live ish again after a long break that you didn't experience but we did from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence you shut your whore mouth a long time a long time buddy to any topic that makes the news makes it big or

makes us mad it's skeptical it's. And there is maybe a welcome mat. We're working on it, I promise. These mats just don't make themselves, damn it. It's true. They're made by a woman named Debra. Anyway. You know, we have to... What episode? This is episode

242. 3. 17. You know, we've had a break, but I still don't forgive you, because it's 243. Is it really? It is 243. God, we. You know, we've had a break, but I still don't forgive you because it's 243. Is it really? It is 243. God, we have a lot of episodes. God damn. It's like we make them every week.

Holy shit. That's amazing. Jesus. Amazing. I have to say that this episode is an episode that almost didn't happen when I had heard the news that Ceccil had been killed yeah in africa and i i thought where did he go on vacation again but it was pennsylvania not africa so i and also it was a lion yes but you're cowardly it's true so i thought it could have

been you put a mom put a mom i thought i thought for sure it was you, but thankfully you're here in Glory Hole Studio. I lost that mane years ago. And once I realized it was a lion, I thought, well, fuck it. Who cares? It's a fucking lion. I thought the Cecil I know is nowhere near that majestic. Now, if it was Cecil the hippopotamus, I'd believe you. If it was Cecil the enormous sea slug, I'd be like, oh, no.

Cecil the manatee. I would fucking start the funeral arrangements immediately for you. I missed you too, Tom. I'm going to need to because I have to get so many pallbearers. It's a skid steer of pallbearers. Yeah, no, you need six of them. So it makes sense. Boop, boop, boop.

It's coming out of there. You can't even get like, you have to get like one of those big giant fucking cranes that they use to get to dig the hematite or whatever. It's like it never moves. It just stays in one position and just digs its way to the center of the earth. You need one of those. That's it. Just bury me in the hematite mine. Just roll me in there and I'll fill it up.

It's like a quarry now. It's just filled with blubber. It's like one of the cranes that builds other cranes. We had to make it double strength. So here we are. Here we are back again. There we go. All right.

Well, motherfucker, let's do a show. No way. I'm getting hacked. A port scheme? No. No, this is major. They've already burned through the NCIS public firewall. What is that, a video game?

No, Tony, you were getting hacked. This story comes from Tribune.com. Bangladesh police chief's blogger warning sparks uproar. So this is super backwards and kind of horrible. Basically a blogger, another blogger in Bangladesh. This makes like four or five, right? Yeah, yeah, it's been a lot, yeah. Hacked to death with machetes.

It's ridiculous. Why are you laughing? Hacked to death. They're a computer, guys, and it's a hacked thing. I don't know. It just makes me chuckle all the time. I don't think he was chuckling. It's crazy that the leading cause of death

of bloggers is machete, isn't it? Isn't that crazy? crazy dude that's awful that's awful i would you know like part of me admires a blogger in bangladesh for their i know like for the courage and part of me is just like what the fuck are you doing man like don't i i can't imagine and granted like i don't live in a world where I'm that politically active or that upset or like where I feel like these are important enough issues that I'm willing to put my life on the line. Sure, sure. I'm willing to make dick jokes. That's what I'm willing to do.

Right. We've established that. We've clearly established what you're willing to do for the show, Tom. And that's very little. I'm willing to record the show. I'm willing to do that. And you do do that on occasion. Yeah.

I hear there's other things that go into it. Yeah, no, there are a few. Seems super hard. But I'll tell you what I'm not willing to do. I'm not willing to be hacked to death by machetes. Oh, no. If we got, like, a death threat, I'd fucking throw my computer in the garbage. But I'll tell you what I'm not willing to do. I'm not willing to be hacked to death by machetes. Oh, no. If we got, like, a death threat, I'd fucking throw my computer in the garbage.

I just, like, light Glory Hole Studios on fire even though it's in your basement. You're, like, light out. You're, like, no. You're, like, pouring gasoline on the foam. It's, like, you run outside and throw my computer to the garbage. It's like, it doesn't solve the problem at all. Like, it's still on the internet, dude. No, damn it.

Smash it. No, he doesn't live in the computer, you stupid motherfucker. It's okay. Yeah, that was the medium for Kibra. It's awesome. But so the police, the inspector general of the police, his name is Shahadul Hook. Nailed it. He basically said.

He did a good job on that one. His comment was no one should cross the limit. And for hurting someone's religious sentiment, the person will be punished by the law. So he basically came out and was like, I kind of had what's coming to him. Yeah. He basically said, you know, if you cross the line. Right. Then sometimes it's when I was and I've said I think I've told this story on the show before. So I'll make it brief.

But when I was in high school, our civics teacher was the mayor. So we had the mayor as our civics teacher. And he ran an article in the paper where he was interviewed he said in the article that the maximum fine he was going to give for people who assaulted flag burners was a dollar yeah so he's basically condoning the beatings of these people right if if and and it's not like there was a rash of flag burnings in the small town that i grew up that's what i was gonna say he's just he's just he's just saying something to be provocative and to show how much of a goddamn patriarchy you know whatever but this is this is the same thing right you're basically saying look you deserved it you deserve to get you know i'm not gonna say you deserved it but you really

should pay attention to what you're doing yeah Yeah. And that's exactly. So the whole purpose of the comments like this is a warning to other bloggers. Yeah. It says like, hey, man, I'm the police and I'm going to nominally say we'll go after the people that killed you. But really, what the fuck did you expect? Yeah. What did you expect? You know, this is blaming the victim in a classic way.

Who blames the victim of a machete attack? Like there's nothing you can do. in a classic way. Dude, who blames the victim of a machete attack? I don't know. There's nothing you can do. I wonder what he was dressed like in order to pull that machete attack. Well, maybe if you weren't wearing those short shorts, Mr. Blogger. Or maybe if you weren't wearing your leather tunic and your helmet, I wouldn't have attacked you with a machete. Maybe he was wearing his computer.

Maybe if you weren't dressed like, I don't even know what you hit with a machete, like a snake. I don't even know what you hit with a machete maybe he was wearing his computer maybe if you weren't dressed like i what i don't even know what you hit with a mission like a snake i don't even know what you hit with a machete what do you hit with a machete weeds why were you dressed like a plant why were you dressed like a jungle movie like you were dressed like raiders of the lost ark why were you dressed like the jungle and predator you know i was at the uh the mire the other day buying so i'm going like camping but i'm going like this big pussified camping where you go to like jellystone park and there's a pool and all this sure yeah sounds great stuff yeah so like it should be fun it sounds like the only kind of camping humans do it's it's it's camping for people that don't

like to go i was camping last last week and i kept looking at the outsides thinking, why haven't they paved this yet? Like, what the fuck is wrong with us? Shouldn't there be a dome over this yet? What are we doing? None of this is air conditioned. Good Lord. Anyway. So I'm with my buddy, and we're buying groceries and stuff.

We're in the mire, and we go to the camping section. There's the sporting goods in the camping section. And there's not one one but two different machetes you can buy. Wow. And I'm like, what the fuck do you need a machete in Illinois for? I was going to buy them for the kids, you know, to let them Thunderdome that shit out. That's awesome. Did they have

you know like when you go and you buy toothpaste right? And the toothpaste says like four out of five dentists recommend. Did they have like like four out of five journalists recommend using this machete. A machete just seems like such like a niche tool, you know? It does. I don't know.

What are they chopping down over there that needs a machete? Well, I can't even imagine like if it was like, I'm super mad. Let's get all our machete wielding friends. I have no machete wielding friends. Can't they just be civilized and shoot people like they do over come on that's america damn it damn it do you suddenly swear tell truth all truth and nothing but the truth why don't you answer him he's talking big right and i don't know what he's saying he's asking you if you swear no but i know all the words he's asking you if you swear to tell the truth truth is stranger than fiction judgey whatty so this story comes from

the telegraph it's fucking super weird on every level um texas um this guy got in trouble for punching his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend so the judge said you got to write down a bunch of bible verses huh and marry your girlfriend and he got to do it within like 30 days so he's got to throw a wedding together and like what if she doesn't want to marry him well i guess she got really red-faced in the in the in the courtroom and then it said yes so she did say yes to him one thing that is really interesting about this is it says in the article and and i tried to follow it and all around different places to try to find out why the judge would do this and he hasn't made a statement on it.

He just did it. And now he won't talk about it. He won't talk about his decision. And there's people who are filing lawsuits against him to say that you can't do that. And not only that, like, why are you making marriage punitive again? Like, why is that? Marriage is punitive enough. I know.

Goodness gracious. You don't need a judge to get involved. Are you kidding? God. I saw this and I thought, like, marriage is punitive enough. My wife listens to this show. Fucking get a big fat divorce fucking lawyer call on fucking Monday morning. I know Sarah listens to this show, so allow me to rephrase my comment.

Yeah. Marriage is punitive enough! Like, can you imagine if she was like fucking, I'm like, she's like 19 or something. I know. They can't even buy drinks yet. Yeah. What couple? They're age 19 and 20 so

what uh yeah she's 19 years old she's like she's sitting in court of course she fucking said yes she's being coerced into a marriage at the threat of of of her loved one or whatever being thrown into jail it's like it's like it's like the the old timey like well it's the military or the fucking jail for you and you're like well then i guess yeah right right right i don't know but why marriage on this case so she's a war like what does it say about her i don't know if you look at her she looks like a battleground at least how do you how do you well he's no treat either oh no he she he did really well for himself why yeah oh he's do you well he's no treat either oh no he he did really well for himself why yeah oh he's he's yeah he's fucking punching above his weight class and

his weight class is considerable yeah he's definitely he's definitely not a light heavyweight this guy can't dream of 205 like and the judge the judge in this if you go to this go to this article and look at the judge at the telegraph he looks like one of the instructors at hogwarts like the old fat instructor he actually looks like his earlobes are so big they look like he's got gauges in them yeah he looks like the sad mopey elf in harry potter or whatever i don't know if there is one but i just made it up there should be i just made it up yeah Yeah. He looks like the sad, mopey elf in Harry Potter or whatever. I don't know if there is one, but I just made it up. There should be.

I just made it up. He's like a goblin. He's a little goblin. Stop saying words. Stop saying words. He'll guard your gold. They're Gringotts. Stop saying these things.

Outrageous. My dad used to punish me by making me write stuff down, too. Bible verses? No, not Bible verses. Did he make you marry anyone? He never made me marry anyone. No, my wife did that. Yeah, that was my dad's favorite punishment. I remember I got in trouble for swearing.

My dad's like, oh, I didn't know you knew that word. And I was like, yeah, I know that word. And he's like, well, what other swear words do you know? And I was like, well, I know all of these swear words. He's like, write them down for that word and he's like well what other swear words do you know and i was like well i know all of these swear words he's like write them down for me i wrote down like six or seven swear words he's like great write them all a thousand times and i was like god damn it awesome now i memorized them thanks dad oh they were committed to memory what makes you think she's a witch well she turned me into a newt. A newt. Got better. Burn already! Okay, so this story, Ma. All right, Al Jazeera. Five women accused of witchcraft lynched by India mob. Not Indian mob.

India mob. The whole India? It was an India mob. Okay. So villagers dragged these folks out from their huts in the middle of the night and beat them to death. I didn't know beating somebody to death was lynching. I thought lynching was hanging. I always thought it was.

Am I crazy? Now I've got to look up what fucking lynching is. It's extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob. No shit. Yeah. I always thought lynching meant hanging. Fucking learn something new every day. I thought lynching meant hanging, but that doesn't necessarily mean. Interesting.

I assumed. I made some assumptions based on our own terrible history. I always thought lynching meant hanging, too. I always thought. We have learned something accidentally on this show. Let's not let this happen again. All right, let's avoid this in the future. Let's just pretend we're the authority on something.

So I don't even know what to say about this except for, again, witches? Yeah. We had somebody post on our page and ask what religion they were. It doesn't say in the article, but I don't think it matters because I think this is cross-religion witches. There's different – I think that there's atrocities that happen to people who are accused of witchcraft that crosses all different types of religious spectrums. I think that Muslim, Christian, depends on where they're at.

Indigenous peoples in Papua New Guinea do it? And I think this is a superstition-based thing. You know what I mean? I think it's both religion and superstition-based. Because you can't have witches otherwise. I mean, accuse me of witchcraft. Go ahead. Accuse me of witchcraft.

Well, I don't want to do it unless it's true Tom well you got me there it's like who cares because it wouldn't bother me I know there's no such thing as witches so it's not a thing it's like accuse me of flying well people don't fly so fuck off

it's not there's parts of the world where people believe in witches like as actually being witches. And the worst part about all this is that on occasion somebody could utilize that information. Right. You know that people flip the fuck out about witches, let's say. And you could use that to really hurt people that you don't like. Right. It's the crucible.

Yeah. It's still crucible. It's still playing out. This is seriously... This is insane. The idea... I am genuinely flabbergasted every time we come across these stories that parts of the world

people really genuinely believe in witchcraft. Like here in the States we have Wiccans which basically just means like easy girls that smell like patchouli oil like that's what wicca yeah right right sure it's like they have a high-waisted dress yeah they play around with herbs they have a weird commercial that they play i forgot the commercial from the other week that was awesome is your computer infected with evil spirits? Custom spell work.

That was my favorite. Custom spell work. Yeah. So, I mean, like, there's parts of the world where people are like, fucking witches are a thing. Magic isn't a thing. This isn't fucking Harry Potter. Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk, Along Blackhawk. Along Blackhawk. Oh, black hole.

This story comes from The Independent. Oh, God. Out of the lynching and into the worse than lynching. Why is there a picture of a woman holding a child? I think that woman is shaking that child. This picture has nothing to do. So there's a picture. This picture has nothing to do. So there's a picture. I got to say, there's a picture of like a shadow woman because it's like the sun is setting behind her or whatever. And the caption is ISIS has killed scores of women and children in the areas of Syria controlled by its fighters.

And it's a Getty image. So, yeah, but the headline is ISIS executes 19 women in Mosul for refusing to take part in sexual jihad. Yeah, but there was 20 there and this one survived. She's got survivor's guilt. So, Cecil, you had a point when we first started talking about which stories to cover about this story and who wrote it that I think we should talk about. Yeah, the thing is that all this stuff is being claimed by a kurdish official so isis executes 19 women supposedly for refusing to take part in a sexual jihad basically uh these people this person says that they executed the women during the past two days the penalty uh decision came in the background of the refusal to participate in a sexual jihad.

And that's all it lists about. It doesn't really say anything else. That's it. It's not really descriptive. And this happens to come from the Kurdish Democratic Party, a spokesperson from the Kurdish. And so clearly this person has an interest in saying something. This person has an interest in saying something. Now, do we think that ISIS is one of these groups that wouldn't kill 19 women? Absolutely not.

I think – of course they would. It doesn't even – I don't even think that that's a thing. I didn't bat an eye at this. And when you hear about – there's a link in here about the child slave price list among ISIS fighters in Syria and Iraq that actually came back as true. slave priceless among ISIS fighters in Syria and Iraq that actually came back as true. So there's things in this article that they're talking about that are specifically, you know, ISIS is already doing some horrible shit. That doesn't necessarily mean that they're doing this.

And that doesn't necessarily mean that this particular story is true or that we found out that the story is true yet. ISIS, you know, ISIS may just come out and say, yeah, we did that. Yeah. Well, it wouldn't surprise me if they read the article. yet isis you know i isis may just come out and say yeah we did that yeah well they i mean it wouldn't surprise me if they read the article we're like well that seems like a great idea yeah we should do that even if they didn't do it they may do it maybe like fucking yeah holy we should execute 19 women for not participating in our sexual jihad yeah yeah that'll learn them i mean they're selling women they're yeah they're selling children. They're selling children. They're killing tons of people.

They seem to behead everybody. Yeah. And they're teaching little kids how to behead people. Yeah, they're the worst people on planet Earth right now. Yeah. Right now, I don't think you could find a worse group of people. And I think that this is an out-of-the-realm possibility, but we've just got to consider the source is all. Yeah, I totally agree.

Totally agree. This is not a new thing for them. This is not something that is pushing any boundaries. This is pretty tame. This is Wednesday afternoon. This is tame. I'm not shocked at all that they would kill someone.

And for literally no reason. For not letting me rape you they they've done they've done it for blasphemy in the past they've done it for you know all these other different reasons chucked people off buildings for being gay i mean like for not for not having sex like they're basically like yeah fucking we're a terrible group of people we're just gonna instill terror and it's like well we would not like to have sex with you. Well, maybe you fucking misunderstood. Yeah.

We're ISIS. We behead people we don't like for no reason. That's our thing. Yeah. We're really good at it. That's our thing. Yeah, they're good at it. They're like the Babe Ruth of beheading.

They've got like a- They point and the head just comes off and flies right over the right field fence. They've got like a mascot that comes out. It's just like a scimitar. No, he's a severed head. It just like dances in the field. It's like a scimitar and a severed head. They do like the fourth inning thing.

It's like, well, now we're going to see who wins. It's like the scimitar chases the severed head around the bases. It's the ISIS scimitars versus the Bangladeshi machetes. Oh, God. It's the ISIS scimitars versus the Bangladeshi machetes. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper.

This comes from Right Wing Watch. Brian Fisher, going to a gay friend's wedding is like attending the grand opening of their new crack house. Do they have grand openings? Do they have grand openings? Like where they hang like a sign and then like the first rock's free or something? Under new management. The old manager is like laying in front dead from a drive-by shooting and they're just like, roll out

the new management banner. We got to get the new manager in here. First of all, if I had a friend who had a new crack house, I would attend their grand opening because I'm not rude. That's what you do for friends, Brian Fisher.

What the fuck? Gosh. All right. Let's listen to Brian Fisher yammer on. I was very disappointed in Governor Kasich's response. He got applause because he knew it was going to be well received because it was so politically correct. If you didn't hear it, he said, look, I went to a gay wedding. He seemed to be proud of the fact that he went to a gay wedding.

You know, and again, it depends on what you think of homosexual behavior. I mean, really the issue comes down to what do you think of this kind of behavior? Is this good behavior? Is this healthy behavior? Is this moral behavior? Is this the kind of behavior that we ought to celebrate, that we ought to promote? I mean, there's a lot of events. He might have even loved people, but like James is saying, you know, if you had somebody you loved and they were dealing crack.

Oh, my God. Totally the same thing. Dealing crack. Yeah. Is that a euphemism for gay sex? It is now. And they were opening up a new crack house, and they were having a grand opening celebration. A grand opening celebration?

Do you invite the mayor? Does he cut, like, a fucking ribbon in front of your crack house? I don't think that you open a new crack house. I don't think you're like, oh, do we have our fucking permits in order for our crack house? Now, what happens when the Dominic's crack house goes out of business and the Jewel crack house buys them out? Like, what happens then? Oh, hang on a minute. We got to open our – what day are we opening?

Oh, well, we don't want to – we got to open it. Just time it just exactly right when the other crack house is out of business. I only shop at the Whole Foods crack house. Right. It's all organic rock. Right. Yeah. Exactly.

You don't want the fucking cheap shit. Let's not. And I want to make sure that there's the least amount of impurities in my crack cocaine. You're like standing with like all your fucking like crack whores behind you in front of an abandoned building in a fucking shit neighborhood with a bunch of fucking like strung out dudes like flanking you on either side. And then there's a marching band just playing. That is the classic grand opening song, though, that we just did. Whatever that is, whatever that song, that's the classic grand opening song. What is that we just did. Whatever that is. Whatever that song.

That's the classic grand opening song. What is that? I don't know. It's the crack house. Can you type da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da into Google and it will come up with something? I should type in, now opening new crack house. And see what audible clips come up. It'll bring up Brian Fisher.

And they invited you to come and be a part of the grand opening celebration of this crack house. Would you go? Of course not. Don't tell me what I wouldn't do. I just fucking said I'd go. Look, it just depends on the invitation. Like, if the invitation is, like, well-made or handmade, I would definitely go.

And probably it would be on crack, actually, so I would go. The grand opening is unlikely to be boring, and you can get a blowjob for $15. And most likely the woman doesn't have any teeth, so you don't have to worry about any kind of scrapes or anything like that. Jeez. That's disgusting.

I'd pay at least $30 for a good game. It's like she's eating a corn dog. It's like a cocktail weiner, really. You can make those into corn dogs. They're just hors d'oeuvres-sized corn dogs. Oh, my God. The things we say. Does it mean that you don't love them?

Of course not. It just means that behavior... And again, I'm not saying that homosexuality and dealing crack are the same things. I'm just using that as an analogy. I just compared the two, but I'm not saying they're the same thing. Look, I'm not saying they're the same thing. I'm just using them as an analogy, which means that they are analogous. So I'm actually drawing.

Like this guy, can you imagine this guy in the SAT? It's like if something is like something, then everything's like everything. If blowjobs are like gay people, then crackpipes are like grand openings. As a parallel, this is behavior. You say, look, I can't support that. I can't endorse that. I don't want to send some kind of a message that I think this is fine and appropriate kind of conduct. So, no, I'm not going to be able to come.

Well, I would for $15. You know what he's saying is, look, I'm a judgmental asshat. Right. And I want to reserve the right to judge the fuck out of you. And I'm just not going to participate in your gay wedding.

Well, okay. Don't participate in a gay wedding. Like, who gives a... First off, no one's ever inviting you. No one is ever inviting brian fisher could you imagine this fucking grumpy gus at your gay wedding like way to ruin your own gay wedding by inviting fucking grumpy gus i want to be gay just to invite him to my gay wedding no because you can't guarantee he'd come he already said he wouldn't he said he promised

he wouldn't come. Well, a lot of people promise they won't come, but if you keep working at it. He promised he won't come because he's into, like, ball torture. To the grand opening of your crack house. I love you. I love you unconditionally. But there's following conditions to my love. I love you unconditionally unless you violate these conditions. I love you unconditionally unless you violate these conditions.

I love you unconditionally. Here are the conditions upon which I will love you unconditionally. It's so awesome that he doesn't even understand what unconditional means. He can't even hear himself. And because I love you, because I'm concerned about the kind of behavior you're involved in,

I don't want to make things worse for you by enabling you to continue this. I am just simply not going to be able to come. So, again, very disappointed in Governor Kasich's response. One of the things that makes clear, ladies and gentlemen, Governor Kasich not going to be a fighter for us on social issues. Throw him out with the fucking bathwater because he doesn't hate gays as much as you. All the other issues, all the other issues.

Fuck it. If he doesn't stand with us on this one social issue, guys, let's just forget about it. It's not our guy. Yeah. What? I mean,

gay people would still be gay if we don't have the right president. Right. If they, no, I mean, if you elect the wrong guy, the gay people would be like, Oh yeah.

Because, because there's going to be some, some president that they elect going to do that amendment that's going to make it so you can't ever be gay. Right. And you can't ever think you're gay. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't even want to be gay. Yeah. The only reason people want to be gay is because –

They're allowing it. They would let them be gay. They let them be gay. That's why people are attracted to other people. That's why dicks get hard. That's true. And jerseys get wet. Yep.

Because of laws. Sure. Yeah. That was the only reason I married my wife. Because you could. No, because I was ordered to by a judge. That's the only reason she married you. Podcasters.

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innocent creatures lead a life worth living this story comes from buzzfeed um a psychic this is amazing a psychic says she spoke with cecil the lion after his death cecil the lion he's british he's british it's outrageous so cecil the Cecil the lion after his death. Cecil the lion. He's British. He's British. It's outrageous. So Cecil the lion is the lion that a dentist killed. Actually, he's not British. He's just named by the Brits.

That's the thing. And actually, wasn't he like, I read this article from some Zimbabwean dude. He's like, we don't really like lions because they sometimes eat us. So we're not really big on, we don't revere lions. Sometimes we're really worried that lions are going to eat us. So we're not, like, really big on, like, we don't, like, revere lions. Sometimes we're really worried that lions are going to eat us. It was a pretty, yeah, it's a pretty telly article. So this goofball is a self-proclaimed animal communicator and psychic medium. And she put this fucking crackpot shit on her website about how she learned to understand the thoughts and feelings of animals and uh she spoke with cecil the lion um just read just can you just read what cecil

the lion said back to her let not the actions of these few men defeat us or allow darkness to enter our hearts if we do wait of darkness? Wait a second. Maybe she channeled Joseph Conrad instead. If we do, then we become one of them. Raise your vibration. What? I'm interested. Wait a second. Is she sitting on one of those

things? She wrote this on a simian? Raise the vibration! Raise it up raise your vibration and allow this energy to move us forward what happened does not need to be be discussed as it is what it is i love that the cecil the lion said look bro it is what it is hey it's fucking tough all over it is what it is huh hey i just fucking work for a living fucking driving my truck or whatever the fuck i do huh i'm a fucking lion hey sometimes you fucking catch the prey sometimes you ought to pray fucking it is what it is huh every now and again a dentist flies over shoots you with a fucking bow and arrow, tracks you for 40 hours.

I lost two tree friends this way. It happens. Couple, two tree of them. Happens to the best of us. Yeah, hey, fucking forget about it. Nobody makes a big deal about Vinny. It is what it is. I love that the fucking lion says it is what it is.

What I like, it's like, as it is what it is. It's supposed to be more profound when you say it is what it is well i like it's like as it is what it is like it's supposed to be more profound when you say it is what it is my friends remember yolo oh there's more take heart my child i am finer than ever grander than before, as no one can take our purity, our truth, or our soul. Never. I am here. Be strong and speak for all the others who suffer needlessly to satisfy human greed. Bring light and love and we will rise above this. 2,222 likes.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. What a guy. So should we talk about Cecil the Lion a little? Well, I just want to say that I don't buy this. Oh, you don't think that she actually communicated with a lion that speaks English? Here's what I don't buy. It's the razor vibration.

I just said, like, that ruined it for me. That's the alarm bell. That ruined it for me. The rest of it, I was like, eh, maybe a lion would say that. Maybe a lion. You know, I don't know a lot of lions. Maybe I could see a lion saying some of these things, but the razor vibration thing, I was like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

What are you, some kind of fucking woo lion? That's bullshit. I don't know any lions. It's Cecil, not Deepak. Deepak the lion. I don't know any lions that believe in that vibration shit. Maybe it's a quantum lion. Maybe the lion.

Maybe it's not dead. It's like Schrodinger's lion. Maybe the deadest didn't even fucking bow and arrow the thing. Maybe he just opened the box and the fuck he's like, oh god damn it. Because they say it's a cap but they don't define the size of the cap.

You gotta pay 50 grand for that open that box? Jesus. If I'm paying 50 grand to open a box it better be a fucking supermodel. That's all I'm saying. $50,000? And I'll fuck a dead supermodel. I don't care. Oh, I'm laughing

because so would I. So you wanted to talk. You had some thoughts ceaseless life because i we got an email where someone was saying hey i just don't see the big fucking deal it's just you know it's just a lion what do you care why do we care so much about a lion yeah i just you know i don't care about like i'm not like oh my god we killed a lion uh except for that we just are running out of lions sure so like maybe we just don't kill the things we're running out of so quickly because that's really bad conservation right you know that's the only part of it that and like it's just tro like i feel like trophy hunting is just goofy i don't understand the appeal of trophy

hunting i've gone bird hunting then i ate the birds and was like that was fun and then it was ultimately delicious but like killing something just to be like hey i killed it and so i could watch it die yeah it's a little weird i'm looking at an article it says african lion uh faces threat of extinction by the year 2050 yeah that's not a long time for now sure you know like my kid will be middle age and there's no more lions maybe that's not a long time for now sure you know like my kid will be middle age and there's no more lions maybe that's not the thing we go out and hunt like let's can't we just hunt like fucking white-tailed deer they're like a fucking million of them or like pigs or something there's a million and the way the guy hunted it it wasn't like he did anything like hunting it through the

brush and you know and he fucking put some meat out and it came to get the meat and then he shot it right well i saw this thing too like it's not actually hard to hunt lions it turns out like lions aren't afraid of people so they don't run away like lol in the sun and like relax because they're really big right they're just like i'm not really worried about getting eaten by shit so people like like there's this there's this funny video this guy's driving like in this car and he's like finding lions is super hard he's like wait no there's one he's like getting close to him super hard and he like like drives right up next to the line line kind of like raises his head like oh there's a jeep and like puts his head back down it's like yeah it's not like it's like a it's not like a big fucking manly like it's man against nature he

didn't wrestle the lion to death. Yeah. You know, he didn't fucking put on a singlet and those weird ear-protecting things. You could say that the Bangladeshi who hacked the blogger to death did more work than this guy. It did more work, right? Right? And I'm not anti-hunting. I'm not anti-killing animals or whatever.

Like, if you want to kill an animal and eat it or whatever, that's cool. But, like, maybe not the things we're running out of. Yeah. It just seems like bad form. You also had a point about apex predators too. Yeah. We don't eat apex predators generally speaking, and I think there's a good reason for that. They reproduce typically like slower than what we consider to be a more typical food animal, right?

So as you go up the food chain, we tend not to eat apex predators. They occupy a very specific niche in the biosphere, and we generally have less of the apex predators for a host of reasons than we do the fucking animals that are closer to the grass level. So maybe that's not the thing you eat. Sure. Just go eat a wildebeest or something. I don't know.

It just seems weird and pointless. But the thing is that those guys all have a hard-on for killing shit, though. You know what I mean? Killing predator shit. They want to kill the big teeth. Yeah. There's pictures of the same guy with a bear and all this other stuff. So they clearly want to kill the stuff with fucking, yeah, like you say, with teeth.

Yeah. They want to fight the shit with teeth. And that's fine. They don't want to fight it, right? No, they want to shoot it from i mean you know look i don't i don't give a shit that somebody shoots a bear or somebody shoots i don't care i really don't either but at the same time i understand your point it's like if you're gonna run out of it don't do it yeah i'm like there's a million black bears you want to go shoot a fucking black bear go shoot a black bear i don't give a shit like but i think it'd be stupid to go shoot a polar bear

right like we're running out of polar bears. I don't know. The world seems kind of cool when it's got polar bears. Sure. Yeah. Like let's keep a few. Yeah. Go kill a penguin.

Yeah. Fucking. Those are fierce. You know, they talk about life and other planets. In my opinion, there's nothing but gaseous balls. So the story comes from the raw story. We actually want to talk about it because it's a non-story. Pat Robertson and grandparents take grandkids away from atheist parents and send them to a Christian school.

That's what it says in the Raw Story headline. That's the Raw Story headline. Let's play what he says. This is Pat Robertson on the 700 Club. Pat, I'm very concerned because this past weekend my six-year-old grandson said that his dad told him God and Jesus were not real and were just made up to scare people about dying. I tried to explain the truth to him, but he won't believe me. I'm worried for my grandson's soul. You should be.

If there's any way you can get that child away from it, this is his grandfather who's telling him this. It's his father. His father telling him that. Well. So I don't know if that's her son or her son-in-law and she doesn't know and uh but if there's any way you could get him enrolled in a christian school or get him into some uh you know they have a daily vacation bible school and things or a youth group there are all kinds of things you could do to kind of get him into some positive influence.

Yeah. He says get him away from that. But, I mean, like that's as far as he goes. Yeah. He's not suggesting, as the Raw Story article says, it suggests that it's like – Take grandkids away from atheist parents. Right. Sounds like somebody's going to take somebody to court and try to get custody.

Right. Or abduct them. Or abduct them or something. It's not at all what he's suggesting. it doesn't sound like that to me either i i think it doesn't sound like that because he's not saying that because when she says because he even revised he's like that's the grandparents like no you fucking misunderstood you're a million years old and then she clarifies and then he's just like oh oh, she puts that little horn in his ear. She's like, ah, can you hear me in there? He's like, eh, eh, eh. You got a turtle in you.

What now? Like, okay, no, that's not. Jesus, you're so old. All right. All right, just tuck the left side of your face out, but let's have this conversation. Like, once she clarifies. It's like Jaws are hanging over his own ears and he can't hear you gotta brush his jaw away he's like a he's like a bulldog where like every part of his body is screaming to die at every moment like every part of his body's like i shouldn't be i shouldn't be yeah i shouldn't be. Yeah.

This is very common with the raw story. I've stopped using the raw story very, very often. I've started finding other news sources other than the raw story because of this exact problem. They're so looking for trouble. Yeah. You know, and they sensationalize this shit all the time. And this not i mean this is a non-issue this is someone who's you know yeah he's saying you know what yeah what is he gonna be like oh well why don't you foster that atheistness right he's not gonna say that he had to and all he said was like

well see if you can enroll him in a christian school well what do you think pat robertson would have fucking said anything else i know and and again again, you know, they're not. I don't think he's he doesn't sound like he's advocating taking the child away, which is what the headline says. I just feel like you're right. I think that this is that this isn't the first time this has happened. I remember the specifically the time with the matches and the guy who said he was fucking going to light himself on fire. So this is they're really guilty of this on a lot of occasions.

You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. All right, this story comes from The Independent. Husband and wife use Bible as excuse to keep teenager as sex slave for five years. The husband evoked Old Testament Bible passage to justify the couple's actions.

He basically took in a 13 year old girl um i don't know the details of that that's super weird they took in a 13 year old girl to live with them after her mother died like what were they like family friends that didn't seem super fucking sexy crazy like what well that's horrible isn't it you're just like oh yeah family friend. Oh, yeah. We're going to kind of abuse this kid for five straight years. Oh, look, her mom died. She has nowhere to live.

Well, let's let's add unbelievable trauma to the unbelievable trauma. It's like it's like a story from that woman who wrote Flowers in the Attic. Right. It's like a BC Andrews story. Oh, my God. Wow. God. woman who wrote flowers in the attic right oh my god wow god so this is pretty much what it sounds like a bunch of fucking lunatic nut assholes um took this 13 year old girl kept her hostage for five years um used her as a sex slave beat her up all that kind of good stuff that's fucking unbelievably horrible.

And then she gets out? Like, the way she gets out, the girl was able to leave the home when her grandmother bought her a plane ticket. That's it? Why wasn't she with the grandmother? Like, how do they think this doesn't backfire on them? Also, why wasn't she with the grandmother again? I have no idea did these seem like trustworthy people do you not give off any signs the grandma's like loving her life so much

she's like fuck that empty nester bitch you keep that little kid i don't want that shit i already raised one and it died what the fuck i'm clearly not very good at this oh gosh i like oh i don't mean that at all i don't mean that at all god oh jeez i mean really don't mean that at all you did say it though you did say it admittedly you said it one thing that drives it just fucking blew me away from this is the last line the The Johnsons were freed on bail. On bail? That's like fucking letting Ted Bundy out of jail on his own recognizance. Oh, you kidnapped?

You fucking kidnapped and raped someone for five years and you get bail? The fuck? Whoa. I thought we were going to have to go to jail for that. Oh, God. What are you kidding me? What do you have to go to jail for that. Oh, God. What, are you kidding me? What do you have to do to not get pregnant? Like, what?

Unbelievably depraved. And did nobody notice this girl was missing? It's like Bangladeshi machete artist out on bail. All right. Machete artist. Those guys, they're artists. It's like a sandwich artist. Artists, yeah.

Sandwich artist? He cuts you up and then he spreads guacamole on you. He's like, well, you weren't cold cuts before. Oh, no. So we want to thank, oh, my gosh, I got a lot of patrons to read. Here we go. So we want to thank all these new patrons. We're super happy that a bunch of people jumped on and became patrons of the show.

We're super thrilled. So thank you all so much. But we want to thank specifically Ingmar, Martin, Stephen N., Simone, Quentin, Robert, Not the bad MS. Cameron. Josh. Corpsey the Elon. Brian.

FD Matthews. Hal. Monica. Jonathan. Ron. Connor G. Nikki. Blood Cream Latte.

Actually, it's Blood Cream Latte. Latte Cream Latte. Actually, it's Blood Cream Latte. Latte. Latte. Carolyn, Paul, Clarence, Mike, Jason, Allison, Andrea, Jay, Sad Mad Dads Podcast, Ryan, Vincent, Jeff, Bill, Nicole, Jason, Carl, Stephen C. And K. Thank you all so very much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. We do want to mention to patrons.

We published two episodes last month. And I wound up not charging for those episodes because they were published last month. I didn't, I didn't want to charge you all because we're going on vacation and we want to post them early. I didn't want to charge you two episodes in a month that you didn't technically get those episodes. They didn't play on those Mondays. So I'm going to post a couple of extras from this show and I'm going to put the numbers for the, uh, the other shows on there to, to, for the pay episodes that they would have been so you're going to see two pay ones but they're not going to be full episodes are just going to be extras but we want to thank everybody who is a patron uh we we're we're super appreciative

and uh and and it's been great so far we just we also got we also got several uh a couple of people from paypal who did one time we got a couple of one-time donations. Matthew, Richard, thank you very much for your donations through PayPal. It's another option you can pursue. There's a donate button, I think, on our website. We have a website, right? We do have a website, Tom. Yes.

So you can go to that. Let me know what that is. I hear good things about it. So let's look at some email. We got a ton of email, and we've been gone for a while. So we are going to sort of skip over a lot at some email. We got a ton of email and we've been gone for a while. So we are going to sort of skip over a lot of the email. We want to thank everybody who sent email. We did read it all.

So thank you all. But we just can't mention every single piece of email we got. We got over like 400 pieces of email in a short amount of time. So we want to thank everybody who's for emailing. We did read it, but we're only going to mention a few. We want to mention Julia, though. She talks about the primitive Baptist church and how it's split from the Southern Baptists over slavery and because the Southern Baptists were too loving for a just God. Wow.

And then it only exists now, Tom, in the South, the Ozarks and Appalachia. Which are all in the south, the Ozarks and Appalachia, which are all in the south. Yeah, the Ozarks. There is no situation where the Ozarks and Appalachia are not in. But the person here clarifies and says, a.k.a. the worst regions. So thank you, Julia, for clarifying that they're even less tolerant. That is crazy. That is crazy.

I mean, they got the name. I guess they figured it out they figured it out we got a message from Elise and Elise says we're talking about the the guy was that he was the the third eagle of

the apocalypse insane that guy evidently does he does other videos and he did this analysis of size Gangnam style so we're're going to have to go back and do that. Maybe we'll make it an extra for Patreon because that sounds awesome. That's going to be amazing.

My son loves that. I should let him watch the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse break down. Yes, absolutely. That way he'll know, Tom. I don't know what, but he'll know. So we got a couple of messages about professors and codes of conduct. We also got a message on Twitter that called us hypocrites because they we equated they equated the comment that we made on on Thomas from Thomas and the Bible and atheistically speaking.

And we were on atheistically speaking. We were on Atheistically Speaking. And on Atheistically Speaking, we talked about a guy by the name of Tim Hunt who made a bad joke at a conference and a bunch of people attacked him for it and said it was a terrible joke and he shouldn't have said it and yada, yada. And he wound up apologizing for it. And then they equated – we said that we didn't think he should lose his job because he apologized and it really wasn't that big a deal. And then this other person who we talked about last week wanted to hang all gay people on Facebook. He said something like kill gay people or hang all gay people. And we said he should lose his job. And we got a couple of messages that said, hey, yeah, that's fucking hate speech. You shouldn't do that.

But one person called a hypocrite and kind of equated the two. And I think what's happening there, and I'm not going to say anything whether or not this is true but what i think is happening uh with that person on twitter is that they didn't like the tim hunt guy and we disagreed with them and so instead of saying i disagree with you on the tim hunt thing i think that you guys are wrong there what they're going to do is is throw the baby out with the bath water and say they're going to label us as hypocrites. So they don't have to argue with us. They could just label us and then dismiss everything that we say. And I think that that's a really lazy way to think.

And I think that that's a really – I mean I don't really know if it's prevalent now more than it has been in the past. But I see that happen a lot. For example, I think like C.J. Werleman, let's say, a lot of people pass him off and they'll say, well, he's a plagiarist. And then they'll just throw out everything he has to say without having to contend with the things he has to say. I know that he has been accused and I think he's even admitted to plagiarizing some things. So that's not an issue. But that doesn't necessarily mean that some of the arguments that he makes aren't valid. And the same thing occurs here.

If you're going to just call someone a hypocrite, it's super easy to say, well, you're a hypocrite. I don't have to listen to anything you say. Well, that's lazy thinking. That's that's being lazy. And I'd like to try to stop doing that more than anything else. I know that we on occasion will call people bigots. We'll say, well, you're a bigot. But I like to think that on that most of the time we will at least address

the thing that they're saying. So the bigot is just sort of pointing out, yeah, you're being a bigot. And now we're going to talk about what it is that you're saying. So we got a message from Veronica and Veronica was really excited. She's got a fiance and they're getting married soon. I'm excited she has a fiance. I'm super excited too. But, you know, I don't know how excited she is, Tom. I think she's not as excited as she thinks she is because she really wants us to give a shout out to her fiance. But, Tom, I don't think she ever names her fiance.

She doesn't name her fiance. she ever names her fiance she doesn't name her fiance so to the nameless fiance of veronica this is your aforementioned shout out we got an interesting message uh from liz and liz says the funny thing about the hewlett packard thing when we're talking about hewlett packard and the maximum wage most people don't realize that they uh that especially at the campus in colorado more than half the employees are contractors and as contractors they make just above minimum wage but they don't count as real employees so when you start counting out how much they make it it looks down but they're that's an interesting point that i it is an interesting point yeah absolutely and she has a she has a point about marital rape she says i would love to see what those people think of it when the shoe is on the other foot.

She says, I have a much higher sex drive than my husband. And according to their logic, it'll be a-okay for me to start slipping some of that blue pill magic into my husband's coffee whenever I'm in the mood and he's not. My sex life would be so much more active. Wonder if they would still be okay with it since it's the woman who's the sex fiend. And we all know what the Bible thinks about women getting their way. I think they'd be fucking out of their mind trying to reconcile the idea that women would enjoy sex, period. I think a lot of these people still think that sex is something a woman gives to a man. Yeah.

Well, and a lot of these guys I don't think have ever felt, have ever experienced a woman having a good time having sex with them. So they don't have a good track record probably. Well, to be fair, no woman I've ever had sex with. I was just going to say the same thing. I was like, yeah, it's not like the woman enjoys it. They tolerate it at best. Birthdays, anniversary, Christmas. Tom, we got an interesting message from David in Kentucky's billboard, and he wanted us to talk about it.

Yeah, so the billboard is onequestionky.org. And, you know, the answer is always more lube, I think. So, yeah. The answer to that question is, sure. Yeah. All right. The answer to that question is, yes. More KY? Let's bring more.

Yeah. All right. Sure. We can always use more. Let's just lay that slip and slide down. We'll just cover ourselves in it. It'll be like a fucking Japanese porn. You know what I mean?

Can you pixelate my penis anyway? Is there any way you could do that? Without hurting it. It's raincoats and tarps and a good time for everybody. It's really only like seven pixels long anyway. It's not like you have to do a lot of work. Those aren't even megapixels. Yeah, the Photoshop guy is just like, come on.

I can do this in my sleep, guys. He's like, hold on. Let me move the mouse. Not at all. Yeah, when you're tracking it in After Effects, After Effects keeps losing it. It's like, where did it go? Where did it go? Where did it go?

So one question is basically a website that's's like if you had just one question you could ask god what would it be um and so uh david's question is can you provide the slightest shred of evidence that you exist or even a rational coherent concept and if so explain how you were anything other than a moral monster what would you what would you ask god uh man what would i ask god so where have you been yeah where you've been is a good one yeah i would ask him i would i would i would have a doll and be like point to me on the doll where you touched mary we got a a message from mike h and he made a a skeptical uh watch face for his android watch but then he also made a couple of watch faces for us and the glory hole one is the best

because funny because it looks like to uh oh no maybe it isn't i thought maybe the cock was a uh was the was the hour hand or something the minute hand or something? No. It's not the minute hand. Let me tell you. The minute hand is longer, Tom. It's not the minute hand. It's fast as the second hand, though. But these are really cool.

I don't own an Android smartwatch, but that's a really cool thing. So we got a message from Emmy and Emmy asks, basically, what would you say to someone who thought Trump was a good idea for president? What I'm worried about is the foreign affairs shit. That's the thing I'm worried about. That's the stuff we've really got to be on top of. And that's the stuff you really need people that are solid and that you can choose and that you recognize can handle this sort of thing. When you hear him talk about foreign affairs, it's a fucking nightmare. It's terrifying.

It's terrifying. He basically talks like he's just going to like punch other diplomats. I know. He sounds like John Wayne. He has no position statements on his website. If you go to his website, he's just a bellicose, blustering animal of a man. Like he has no positions. He has not yet elucidated a single campaign or policy topic.

He has no positions at all. He's just loud. He's literally campaigning on just being louder than everybody else. He's loud and he's on TV a lot. Yeah. And that will make you – the thing is being in the public eye makes you recognizable. And he's always in the public eye. He's constantly in the public eye and he's going to be – I think that's going to be one of his greatest traits that he's going to bring to this is that he's popular and people know who he is.

And that I think is a boon to them. But it's I can't see I can't see putting him in as president. There's there's you know, I don't think that he's a I just don't think he's a good candidate because he just doesn't have any kind of experience and he doesn't have he just doesn't have the fucking foreign policy fucking chops. I think you got to be a politician to be a politician, too. He's a terrible politician. He's not diplomatic at all. He's not. The president has to play politics.

Yeah. It is a political position. You can't have a president who just yells and screams at everybody and stamps their foot like a petulant third grader. We got a message. This is from colin and colin says he took some photographs of his parking garage because of crazy superstitious people they have uh triple numbers on all the different floors so when you go down to the fifth floor it's five five five when you go down to the seventh floor it's seven seven seven but the sixth floor is only six

that they actually you can see where they painted over six six six they painted over the two sixes i love this shit because my building downtown has a 14 a and b and it goes from 12 to 14 a and b i find that outrageous i love that shit i think it's the greatest thing ever yeah we got a great image um from tom and it's an image for a sign that is in, what is it? Mennonite County in Ontario. So he sent the sign along. I'm going to put it as the image for this episode.

This is episode, unlike Tom, I'm going to get the episode right. It's 243. God damn it. We got a couple of messages from people that were, that are either followers of Jesus or Christian or believe in a higher power and Republican. Yeah, I'm shocked by both of those. This one – this person is Steve.

I want to say, Steve, thanks for listening. We're happy that you listened. We also got a message from Ian who is also a conservative. a conservative and with ian's email specifically i want to comment says even though i'm i like your podcast because it provides views contrary to my own and that helps me form a less biased and more considered set of doctrines and beliefs and i think that's super admirable i think that is a great way to look at the world uh you know i'm sure ian and i probably don't agree on very much at all, but we're glad you listened, Ian. Thank you. I got to apologize. We got a message from Randy, and Randy works at Sleepy's.

And I did make a comment last time about Sleepy's and their delivery. And Randy basically said, hey, look, I'm a big fan. I work at a Sleepy's. If you want to send me your invoice number, we can see if there's something we can do. I want to reiterate. Maybe I didn't even iterate the first time, so I will iterate now

that the shopping there was great and I got a great bed and it was a great price and I was happy with it. That was fine. The thing is that the Sleepy's by me contracts out all of their deliveries. So it wasn't really, so it wasn't, it wasn't them. It was just there.

It was there. They contract. And the weird thing is Tom, when I, when they, when they, uh, asked me about the delivery stuff, they have to read a thing to you. And at one point they read this thing to me and they're saying, you acknowledge that you'll be in the room with them at all times and you'll never leave them alone. And I'm thinking, what are these guys like Hannibal Lecter?

Like I'm going to turn around, I'm going to turn around and then they're going to be standing there with like my liver with fava beans and a nice key. You know what I mean? Like, like it made them out to be crazy, but they clearly have to read that to cover their own ass if you leave the room. So they're basically saying saying stay in the room. But these people were hired out. So it wasn't that particular company that did that.

But I do appreciate you contacting me. And I didn't mean to demean your company in any way. I enjoyed my shopping there just fine. Tom, you want to read a bit of JP's email? Yes, this is great. So JP evidently at some point worked for megachurches. And he says, The pastor of one megachurch talked about how much he loved barbecue,

and then he got into a debate with one of his congregation, who was an NFL player, about which state has the best barbecue. The NFL player said his home state of Alabama was better than any that the pastor had ever had. So the pastor, telling this to the congregation congregation bragged about how the day before he took the nfl player on the church helicopter to the airport and took the church jet to alabama to have barbecue and flew back what so that's amazing like just tithe me some more money so I can spend it jetting around for fucking the most frivolous possible reasons. I say that. But if I had access to a helicopter and a jet.

And barbecue. I would frivolously purchase barbecue. We got a message from Elvis. And Elvis heard us on The Scathing Atheist. We were on The Scathing Atheist I want to say two weeks ago. The name of the show is The Spittoon Full of Fetuses Edition.

It was a lot of fun. We had a great time and it turned out very funny. Noah also had on Thomas from Thomas and the Bible and it is very funny. I turned it off before he came on. Oh, Jesus Christ. But Noah's got a great show.

Noah and Heath run a very funny show. So if you want to check us out on there, it turned out really good. But by the way, Elvis sent in a piece. We did some bit of, I don't even know. I don't even want to mention what we did. But I'm just going to read this jingle for you.

It has to do with fetuses and eating them. So here we go. This is his marketing jingle. Saute and simmer. The flavor can't be beat us. M. Brioni, the San Francisco fetus. That's pretty great. I love it.

We want to play a message from Hannah. Hannah is a librarian, and she sent us a message. a message from Hannah. Hannah is a librarian and she sent us a message. I think she took a little bit of umbrage, Tom, with your comments about shelving books and my comment about getting wet over the Dewey Decimal System. Hey, Tom and Cecil. This is Hannah

calling from Atlanta. I just wanted to let you know that I am an architectural librarian and I completely resent you saying to people that this job is super super boring. Alright. I gotta get a different job.

I'm going back to school. Gorehole you guys. Bye. That was awesome. That's great. We also got a whole bunch of clips from Binkley. And Binkley, you sent a bunch of these but this one is clearly my favorite this is from the simpsons i'm no missionary i don't even believe

in jebus let me out sorry no can do Oh, save me, Jeebus. I love that he calls him Jeebus. Jeebus. That's amazing. That's pretty great. So that's going to wrap it up for this episode. We are going to be back with a midweek show this week. We're actually going to do a midweek show.

And it may consist of some of the stories that you heard that you didn't hear that you didn't hear that we recorded tonight but we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed enjoy your tarot cards

credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Deadpan sales pitch Late night info docutainment Leo Pisces Cancer cures

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The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local Dairy Council. Outro Music you