Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 259: Cinancial Follapse

Episode Date: November 9, 2015

     

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. All the missiles of the world Nuclear and standard charge They all blow up really large Jesus loves the little missiles of the world Loyal Hi, my name is Han And I just wanted to call you

What everybody's calling in about woo I gotta tell ya Back when I was younger There was an old man and a boy Talking about some old hokey ancient religion or something like that, and I thought it was a bunch of woo. But in my experience, I've learned it's true in all of it. The Jedi, the dark side, the real, glorious.

Yeah, this is the desert Dave I'm calling about the woo topic the only experience I had was I went to a psychic once and they predicted that I

was going to be two to three weeks late on just about everything I think it was bullshit gloryhole motherfuckers.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording from glory hole studios in chic, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 260 or so. Right around there.

Never gets old, Tom. Never gets old. Never gets old. It never does, Cecil. That's why I keep doing it. That's always fresh, buddy. I know. Always fresh.

I know. It's tough for me to keep it that fresh. 259, by the way, of cognitive dissonance. Here I am, talking about facts, real people, events. And you're talking about a 2,000-year-old book with stories in it that... Let's talk reality, David. You want to talk reality? Yeah. Well, reality was three and a half years ago

when your husband and millions of others vanished now that's reality they said it was ufos this first story comes from the raw story conservative texas court to decide if homeschoolers can wait for the rapture instead of teaching their kids and like a lot of raw story articles it's a little snarky but actually not terribly snarky so the texas supreme court is going to decide whether homeschooling families actually have to do any teaching as part of their homeschooling one would argue that maybe they probably didn't do much teaching before i i just you know like i read this and i just think like when are we going to realize that just being a parent alone does not qualify you to also be a teacher yeah that's it's always

interesting to me that that's the case right that people presume one that you're gonna you know just just because you fucked and you made a child that you're somehow qualified to first off qualified to raise that child right clearly many people not qualified to raise that child i'm not even qualified to fuck most would argue but yeah i've still done it a bare minimum of twice right right you need to get the permits for all that shaking of the ground um yeah you know it's it's great i agree i think that's weird it's like you know they they have this uh they have this idea that you know you birthed them so you could clearly educate yeah that's a bizarre yeah because if that were true then why would we have teacher certification in

literally every state why would it just be like oh have you ever had kids yeah i've had kids and fucking you're a teacher welcome motherfucker come on in don't waste years of your life on education just be a parent that's all it takes all it takes is good intentions i mean it's it's so fucking incredibly foolish that we allow you know because this is it this is to me this is child abuse yeah you wouldn't let you wouldn't let somebody who just because they're a parent fucking perform surgery on their kid sure i know what's best i know how to stop that heart murmur yeah a sledgehammer like wait a minute that's 100 effective i wonder what kind of classes they'll be teaching like you know because they don't want to teach because of the rapture well maybe they could teach like rapture themed classes.

Like you could watch the entire series of The Walking Dead as like instructional videos. There's like a sewing human skin class. It should all be prepper shit. That's exactly it. Yeah. How to get the marrow out of a bone or something. Right. It should be like, you know, how to grow fucking vegetables hydroponically in a 55 gallon drum in your basement while fighting off fucking mutated zombie hordes or whatever. How to uncover a horde of, you know, fucking food that's been buried under the ground.

Everything should be horrible, though. Everything should be like the whole time. ground everything should be horrible though everything should be it's like like the whole time if you're the dad and you're teaching the kids and it's like all right no here's the situation you fucking explain to them what they have to do and it's some fucking horrifying survival apocalyptic chore and the whole time you have to shoot guns just over their head just to keep it real you know just for a real simulation you gotta like take your your family chihuahuas and put like wings and armor on them so they could be the little locusts that ride up with like. And then they have to eat them.

Then they have to eat them for food. All right. It's Wednesday. Pick a pet and eat it. I don't want to do it. Shut up. Shut up. I love muffins.

I love muffins. Not the actual muffins. My cat muffins. I don't even know what muffins taste like. muffins my cat muffins i don't even know what muffins taste like i think this is i think this is this is exactly what uh what you get though you know when you put like you said unqualified people in charge of stuff like this you know nobody's watching them either because as as i recall texas is one of those places we're're just like, oh, you're homeschooling? Good luck. Well, and that's really at the heart of this argument is that people complain. Like, family members complain.

The family members are like, yeah, I know they say they're homeschooling them, but they're not actually schooling them at all anywhere. Like, the location of their neglect is not relevant. It's just educational neglect and so you know they were they were basically ordered like hey well we want to see what you guys have been doing you know show us that you've been actually accomplishing something and then they fought back like well fucking we believe in jesus so we shouldn't have to provide you evidence that we're educating our children like how are those things even possibly tangentially related to each other that's demonic everybody it is absolutely demonic this next story comes

from catholic news agency and i gotta tell you cecil i admire the efficiency oh yeah help from above priest in a helicopter exercises ital Italian town because this priest performed an aerial exorcism of the Italian seaside town of can't pronounce it the group said in the statement there was nothing left to try but the exorcist nothing left not like quality police work for example there was nothing left to do what it would do i don't know put a priest in a helicopter we're all out of ideas he was the priest was also dressed like rambo when he flew in when he was helicoptered and he had a bandolier of holy water that was around his chest he was also hog hunting from the helicopter like a short bow that shot explosive crosses i can see the demons from up here they're on your six they're on your six you know it turns

out there's actually a lot of similarities between jesus and rambo they're both shirtless right they both have awkward long hair they're both bloody a lot they both flip a lot of things over right and uh they both almost die for a cause and are miraculously saved so i think that there's very, there's a lot of similarities. It's very, and Jesus probably, when he gave the Sermon on the Mount, the whole time. I can't understand him. It sounds punch drunk.

Somebody's like, what did he say? I don't know. I'm just going to go ahead and write this stuff down instead because that guy doesn't make any sense. They both are ripped too. You know what I mean? They're kind of ripped. Oh, yeah.

I mean, like the new Jesus is fucking just straight ripped. They both wear weird headbands. One is a crown of thorns. People are fucking sitting in a helicopter. Yep. What they should do is they should, you know, when they put out those fires and they get, like, suck up all that water, they should do that with holy water. They should, like, fill up with holy water and then put out the city like a forest fire with it. Wouldn't it be even better to just fly at 30,000 feet and bless the clouds themselves that rain upon people now it's all holy water

aren't they god's clouds anyway right that's a good point well maybe some of them are maybe thunder clouds or satan's that's right angry like angry clouds those anger clouds up there those aren't jesus's clouds jesus wouldn't make thunder unless he was mad at you in which case he would use thunder and lightning and rain to drown literally the entire world or if he was rambo he would bring down the thunder it's so crazy i want to read one other part of this because this sounds this sounds just like teenagers the best part about this is it's fucking teenagers are just screwing around and the local police have like evidently no ability to catch vandalizing teenagers

the area has long been plagued with violence from organized crime incidentally no exorcism to rid the town of violence right the mob is fucking shooting people or bombing we're doing whatever organized crime violence nothing but a series of thefts from churches desecration of graves crosses being turned upside down and my favorite statues of mary being tossed over cliffs. That's teenagers, man. That's what 14-year-old boys do. That's just what they do. My buddy and I, when I was a teenage boy, I'm going to guess it was probably from the age of 14 to 16 or 17,

we would call each other on the phone be like you want to go vandalizing you didn't have a code we didn't call it anything else we just be like yes let's go vandalizing my my buddy that i would go out with he bought from a mail order catalog he bought a set of leather gloves that were sap gloves so they had lead sewn into the knuckles on them under the under the leather that's like from like an old ninja magazine or something. It was just from a mail order catalog. And like I would go out with my with my buddy and we would just break everything we could find. We'd steal mailboxes.

We would just we just call. I mean, it was literally just vandalizing. There was nothing else to it. There was no plan. There was no rhyme or reason. It was just bored, stupid teenagers being assholes. Had somebody given us this, like if there was a statue of Mary and we happen to have access to a cliff, I fucking 100% guarantee we would have thrown that shit off a cliff.

You see, there are demons in the earth. Read Matthew, Mark's Gospel, Chapter 5. There are demons all over where Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth. So this story is from Cal.Catholic, which is California Catholic Daily. Exorcist disturbed by new California law. This is actually an interview with two exorcists, Father Gary Thomas and Father Vince Lampert. And this is actually a really hilarious interview because I think these fuckers are serious.

This interview is so awesome. I do want to mention, though, at one point they say they've trained under a master exorcist in Rome. I saw that. And the first thing I thought of was like the Kill Bill movies. Like, what are they? They're like fucking holding a cross out, repeating some

fucking crazy phrase, and they have to do it until their arm cramps up, and then they're trying to eat their fucking rice with their hands. And the whole time, he's like slapping them down. They have their final test. They have to convince like fucking Hattori Hanzo to forge a cross for them fucking master exorcist are you shitting me cecil i want you to read your favorite question and

answer from this okay all right all right let me find it can can demons read our thoughts? Father Lampert. Demons do not know what we are thinking. Silly goose. They're intelligent creatures who can use their reason to deduce what we might be thinking or how we might act. God alone knows a person's mind. That's amazing. I love it because the demons are like, oh, man, I wish I knew what he's thinking. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

I wish he wanted to go to Quiznos with me. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Let me get one of these. Do you like me? Yes or no? If I knew what you were thinking, I wouldn't have to ask with this paper thing. I like that they use reason, though.

That's my favorite part is that they use reason to deduce. Those lousy demons and their reason using. I think that's a stab at reason. I think that's a stab at reason in replacement of faith. That's probably a good point. It probably is not accidental that they use that word, right? I like this question and answer because the

question asks so much. So what brings about demonic involvement? What should be avoided? Father Thomas. Ouija boards, dark magic, seances, violent video games.

The Charlie Challenge. Tarot cards. Any devices that can muster some kind of spirit in any way that circumvents God. The Charlie Challenge sounds... You know when they do the paprika challenge or whatever? The cinnamon challenge? The Charlie Challenge is like, you should have to eat six Charleston chews. I think it should be like, how many dicks from a guy named charlie you know like it's just like you're just sad like three fucking charlie dicks

in your mouth at once it's like the charlie bukkake challenge it's a charlie challenge how many charlies we stuffed to that guy we are challenging that young man challenging him look at that and father lamper people may think these things are just fun and entertaining but the truth is they're dabbling with evil and can get themselves into trouble and father thomas can't help himself pornography and drugs can also be doorways to the demonic can can you can say can not necessarily yeah i mean depends on the age of the pornography if it's very young they yeah if it's if it's older pornography, you know, where it's like a lot of hair down there, then it's fine. Yeah.

Actually, they like the young stuff, too. He says, especially certain drugs such as meth and cocaine. That dude is hitting a fucking bong and beating it. Are you kidding me? That is his out. That is his out. He's like, especially some drugs like the ones I don't do. That's what I don't like.

The drugs I'm not doing. Then he says, I like this part. He says, in some cases, curses can be placed on these in order to make them even more addictive. It's meth, motherfucker. There's nothing you can do to make it more addictive it's meth motherfucker and they're like you there's nothing you can do to make it more addictive what's what's awesome is like walter white sitting in his rv like doing an incantation for the mess he's got like a chicken with his head cut off he's like dripping blood onto the meth people believe this people really believe this, man. These are people taken seriously by other human beings. Like, this is not somebody who is purposely being mocked.

This is not a joke. This is a leader of other people, man. There's an end where he says, in closing, what's the best defense against the forces of evil? And one of them says prayer life faith life moral life sacramental life i guess probably that's the the line that they tell but the other one says the best defense against evil for all of us is devote ourselves to uh to the things of god and to think about the positive aspects of life i think he's fucking up here the best defense is a good offense right i think he's like you know that's best defense is a good offense. Right? I think he's, you know. That's what he should have said. Go after him like fucking that guy who fucking talks about the Hulk.

What's that guy's name? The fucking prayer warrior guy. You know what I'm talking about, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking Ingles. Go after him like Ingles. Like fucking go after. You got to be a prayer warrior.

It would be great if he was like, you know what we got to do is we got to fight him like those fucking dudes from that TV show Supernatural. Do you guys watch CW? Yeah, I love CW. That's great. That's awesome. Yeah, anyway. None of this shit is fucking real, you loons. You loons. They talk in the beginning of this

like, yeah, I've seen people levitate. Oh, yeah, you didn't think to fucking get that on camera, huh? It's just a human body defying the force of gravity hmm yeah let's not get that on film yeah literally never captured on film right that it can't be disproven that's uh this is your chance buddy you're like we live in a cult we live in a world where people fucking take pictures of their food every day. Think about it this way. How many times on the internet have you seen a fight?

And not just a fight, Tom. Not a fight in progress. A fight before it starts. Right? Yes. Right. The fight before it starts. People recognize the cues.

Right. They pull their phone out. Yep. And they start recording. Yeah. You would think. the cue is usually fight fight the thing is like as a master exorcist yes you would think you would understand the cues of when someone is gonna say fucking start floating so you would have your phone out and be ready to

record it but instead we just have some old dude said someone floated once. Yep. Cool story, bro. To be fair, they're not master exorcists. They just trained under a master exorcist. Right. You're right. Maybe they're still a prenti. When you're right, you're right, Tom. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense,

then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. Sister, it comes from Right Wing Watch. Pat Robertson, God to destroy financial markets. Now that the sodomites can marry. I was waiting to destroy those financial markets. Financial markets, yeah.

It's always the financial markets. You can kind of tell where Pat Robertson, you can hit him hard. You know what I mean? He's super worked up about, like, he spent a lot of the fucking elder years of his long. Extra long life. Long, long life. Yammering about that. He's real worried about this.

Like he's like, I don't know. I don't really understand that because he's clearly super fucking rich. So what is he so worried about? Well, let's play his thing so we can tell exactly what he's so worried about. We're going to force bakers to bake homosexual wedding cakes. We're going to force photographers to take pictures.

You don't have to force photographers to take pictures. That's what they do. Those photographers. Like, that's their job, bro. But they're not taking pictures of stuff. We're going to have to force them to take their pictures. And we're going to force women to go into men's bathrooms and men to go into women's bathrooms.

What? Yeah, no one's doing that. Where is that a thing? No, no one's doing that. Did you see this? I saw a transgender thing today that was really cool. And it said, it was something about like, this is what would happen if this person went into these bathrooms. And it's a transgender person.

It's a transgender man right so guy has a beard uh big looking dude you know sure stand in a woman's john with a beard taking a picture of himself because if he was to follow the specific gender he would be in the wrong bathroom sure right he would be in the women's bathroom he would he would be in the wrong bathroom sure right he would be in the women's bathroom he would he would be in the wrong bathroom yeah and what they what they constantly talk about when they talk about the transgender issue when we heard how many clips have we heard about this uh they talk about this they say oh yeah fucking uh you know you're gonna have some pervy dude who is totally dressed like uh uh you know a man uh or uh you know man, let's say, who's totally dressed – a guy who doesn't look at all like a woman going into the women's bathroom because that's where he would think that he belongs. But in this case, it's the exact opposite.

would think that he belongs but in this case it's the exact opposite it's they would look so out of place in the correct you know quote unquote correct gender bathroom yeah that they would that it would be absurd you would you would shield your kids you'd be like what the fuck is happening you'd freak out i know i know i would freak out if i saw like a you know especially if it was a transgender woman who walked into the bathroom and they were supposed to be in this one because that's the correct, you know, quote unquote, correct one. And it was somebody who looked like a woman. You'd freak the fuck out. You'd be like, what? What are you doing in here?

And so they just don't understand that these people live their life as the other gender. But they don't want to these these guys that are constantly opposing this stuff. They don't want to take into account any of the nuance. They don't want to these these guys that are constantly opposing this stuff they don't want to take into account any of the nuance they don't want to take into account the details well what what fucking difference does it make if i'm in the bathroom and somebody's in the bathroom with me i'm like person's in the bathroom and isn't it our job when we go into the bathroom to completely ignore every other human in the bathroom don't we already do this i don't understand the obsession with the bathroom that these that like the Christian right has. Do they think that you like is when you go to a Christian like bathroom at like some big mega church?

Is everybody fucking in the bathroom? Everybody's meat gazing or something. What is happening? I don't know what's happened. I don't. I don't even like to talk to people. And I go to the bathroom. We have a fucking I don't know how it is at your work, like we have a bathroom at work there's fucking two urinals and there's

two stalls i fucking hate it so much when you're standing at the urinal and somebody's like hey man how you doing it's like man shut the fuck up and go kill yourself yeah i don't want to talk to you for even one fucking second i don't want to look at you I don't want to talk to you for even one fucking second. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to fucking talk to you. Don't you understand the privacy zone of the urinal? I have one person at work who does that, who will talk. There's another guy.

There's three stalls, right? And everybody will either go to the one on the far left or the one on the far right, except for one dude who always pisses in the middle one and i always every time i walk into the first thing i want to say it was like bold move but i never do it but i always want to be like bold move sir bold move but he always pisses in the center one and it's like dude just go to the fucking one on the left of the one on the right i didn't want to stand near you that's why i don't understand. I just can't wrap my head around the bathroom obsession they have.

I don't get it. Because, man, I don't pay attention to other humans. I pretend I'm the only one in there. Right? Look, there was a guy that I used to work with. No shit. I would be in a stall taking a fucking smash at the bathroom at work. And there was this guy who would walk in

and be like hey is that you tom and he would fucking start talking to me while i'm dumping like i'm in there fucking taking a shit trying to pretend that nobody else is in the fucking room and that guy would fucking try to have a conversation with me i wear headphones in the bathroom when i'm taking a dump that's a smart move yeah i don't i just wear headphones that way you can be in your own fucking world i'm just in my own world and i'm fucking like ripping it out like who cares bro dude i used to get like i used to be like i used to no shit i used to wait if somebody came in i'd stop all activity yeah and be silent you'd freeze up and like wait for them to leave and then be like

stage fright and then you'd let it burst after alone with my thoughts yeah you know now i don't give a shit you're just like rip that i'm just like someone walks in like boom drop it out i don't care drop the bass but i also am not fucking making small talk with somebody awesome hey man is that are those your ankles i love shoes i love going to the bathroom and someone will be on their phone and on the shitter at the same time i flush the toilet like four times every time that happens i'll run the loudest hair dryer i make i'll cough i'll cough. I'll just make as much noise as I can when they're in the shitter on the phone. Because I'm thinking, not only are you rude to me, right? Because now you're fucking capturing my fucking piss sounds or whatever.

Those are my private piss sounds. Also, you're rude to the person who you're talking to. That's just rude. So I'm just going to make sure they know. So even if you told them at the beginning of your fucking conversation that i missed that you're like yeah dude i'm fucking ripping out a dosage that's cool i'm just gonna remind them of the fact that you are in the shitter we're gonna blur the identity of the sexes because of this stuff i mean it's insanity but you know the term sodomy.

Sodom was the place destroyed by the judgment of God. And they call these things sodomy. Well, actually, the whole world was that, right? I mean, it's not just Sodom. He kind of did that to the whole world first. This stuff is sodomy. And we have enshrined sodomy in the United States Constitution said it is a constitutional right to commit sodomy. And now

it's a constitutional right for sodomites to marry each other. That's what it's in the recent Supreme Court decision. So what are they going to do in Houston? Well, they're going to go to the polls and find out maybe Ed Young and his group. He's got a huge church and a lot of people down there. We'll see what happens. But it's interesting, though. Terry, I mean, can you imagine 20 years ago, 30 years ago, we see this in America? See what in America? Gay people? Yeah, gay people. Just, you know, walking around, being gay. Because, you know, walking around being gay because, you know, you know, in 1995, there was no gay people back in the 80s and 90s.

No, there were no gay people in 95 or 30 years ago in 85. Yeah, it's true. When there was people walking around. See, the thing is, is when he says 20, 30 years ago, what he means is the 50s. Yeah, I know, right? That's the best part. But he can't come out and say that. Like, can you imagine this 65 years ago?

Because all of a sudden people would zone out. Well, you know, the scripture also says there will come a day when what's right will be seen as wrong, and what's wrong will be seen as right. And we seem to be right there and you can pick pretty much any day you want for that sure it turns out anytime anybody fucking says anything that's against what you believe you can just pick that as the day well here's how it works the stuff i don't like is wrong yep right and the stuff i do like is right i mean it's just it's nonsense you can't even listen to this.

It's super easy. It's like, oh, you wrote something that fucking is absolutely going to come true. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you give me some like some real specifics, not a generalization. Tell me. Tell me that the fucking that the Supreme Court was going to fucking legalize, you know, marriage, same sexsex marriage in the United States in the United States of America

and give me a month and a year yeah point and you know shit just say United States of America in the goddamn Bible somewhere right right predict predict the North American continent yeah can you do that for me yeah exactly can you predict anything over here

right yeah like a here you are here I've've got this book. It's 2,000 years old. I'm supposed to think that it has the divine word of God nowhere in it. Does it predict the discovery of the entire, quote, new world? That's North America and South America, actually. It's all of it. It's all of it.

It's half the earth. Anything over here. Half of the earth. It didn't predict like harnessing electricity or I mean it didn't predict anything. Literally nothing. It's about what you do with goats.

I mean it's a goat book. Exactly. It's how fucking wet your bowl needs to be before you sacrifice it. Well having their conscience seared with a hot iron. But the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against is what the Bible says. The wrath of God is revealed against this stuff. So I don't want the wrath of God to hit this country.

It's a great country. I'd like to see America continue strong. But this is one way of weakening it. First of all, we're going to have this financial collapse. We're setting up for a massive financial collapse, and I think... Financial collapse?

It's a conantial collapse. We're shutting up for a... Look out for that conantial collapse. Wow. Yeah, the Dow closed at 17, 800 and change oh my god the financial collapse it's the conantial collapse it's gonna happen unless we continue growing look i'm i'm actually i agree with pat robertson i really do i think that there will be another financial collapse because that's how markets work. Absolutely.

You know, markets always work that way. There's booms and there's busts and there's everything in between. And that's just how financial markets work. If you don't give me a timeline, dude, I'm 100 percent on your side. At some point, there will be a financial collapse. Yeah. The only thing the only difference between us is that I don't think that some fucking sky daddy is manipulating the markets in some way. And some sort of weird fucking angelic insider trading.

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or spread the word about the show we want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Gordon Klingenschmitt has a scientific method, Cecil, that proves the existence of God. I found this incredibly compelling. All right, let's listen to fucking Gordon Klingonschmidt talk about his scientific method. Let's talk for a moment about a couple of things. First of all, evidence.

You want evidence of God. I can give you evidence of God. In fact, I'll show you God. All you've got to do is repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and invite Him to come into your heart. Now this is a scientific method. I'm giving you step A, you repent.

Step B, you believe. Step C, you invite Jesus Christ to come into your heart as Lord and Savior. Follow that scientific method and I guarantee you will see Jesus Christ. All right. I'm going to do it.

Okay. Ready? All right. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. I repent. I accept.

So the first one is step A. I have to repent. So I repent. Okay. All right. Step B. I have to believe, and then I have to. So I'm going to believe.

Okay. Give me a second. Yeah. All right. I'm there. Okay. I'm believing. All right.

Step C. It's real quick. Oh. Step C. okay give me a second yeah all right i'm there okay i'm believing you already step c it's real quick oh step c you and because nobody else fucking nobody else bothered to put any thought into it step c you invite jesus christ to come into your heart as your lord and savior so let me do that i invite jesus christ to come into my heart as lord and savior so now as long as i did that i can holy shit is it working holy shit i think i see jesus what's he look like oh no that's my cat forget it no yeah it's not mr whiskers no it's it's just it's just my cat oh yeah so it didn't that's not it didn't work i don't see jesus anywhere it's weird is that like how you summon him that's kind of like an incantation, isn't it? Where you're just like, I have to do these three things.

Then you can see Jesus. I mean, there are steps in his method. And that's the scientific method. That's how it works, Tom. If there's steps, it's scientific. Yeah. That has almost nothing to do with define a question, gather information, resources, and observations, form an explanatory hypothesis. I like the – where's your explanatory hypothesis in that?

I know, right? Test the hypothesis by performing an experiment and collecting data in a reproducible manner. Analyze the data. in a reproducible manner, analyze the data, interpret the data, and draw conclusions that serve as a starting point for new hypothesis, publish results, and retest. Let's compare that to Klingenschmitt. Step A.

Step A, repent. You repent. Step B, believe. And step C, invite Jesus Christ to come in your heart as your Lord and Savior. That is not how you science. I just think he trimmed down the process. That's all. He got rid of, wait a minute.

He got rid of all of it. All the steps. And then replaced it with his new steps. Right. Yeah. He replaced it with be dogmatic. Yeah, exactly. There's more of this, too.

I'm kind of curious where he goes from here. You say, show me some evidence. I'm saying he will actually come into your heart, actually rule your life, and take the scales from your eyes, and you will experience God in your own heart. Scales from my eyes? Yeah, you've got scaly eyes. I didn't want to tell you. I felt like it was rude. Jeez.

20 years I've known you. I didn't want to say. I've had these cat was rude. Jeez. 20 years I've known you. I didn't want to say. I've had these cataracts forever. Bro, you've got scaly eyes. I don't know. Bro, you've got to take the scales from your eyes. Just get them off of there, man. Scaly eyes.

You've got scaly eyes. You've kind of got like a lizard face thing. I've got a lizard face eye thing going on. Yeah. You're like, I'm just saying, Cecil, you're like a bearded dragon. What's neat as i can see behind me you can you can change colors with your environment whenever there's a spider around i don't have to smash it i could just eat it if my environment it's actually true of me if my

environment is bulbous yeah the reason the reason why i have a fish eye lens in my eyes because my eyes are fat my eyes have diabetes are you kidding now you say well that's not fair because i don't want to follow the scientific method and get to these i don't want to go through steps a repent and step b believe and step c invite jesus to rule your heart i don't want to follow that method. Then you cannot say that you have followed the method that works. I just did it. It didn't work. Like I literally just did it.

Yeah. But you didn't, you didn't, I don't think you believed. I did believe for that mere second, Tom, I believed. The,

the way to get to believe is if you believe right isn't that what he's saying like like if the problem is like hey if you want evidence here's what i can give you with evidence but first you have to believe it before you get the evidence well then then it's not evidence anymore then it ceases to become evidential it's not meaning why would i if i already believed it well i would have no interest in evidence i'd be like evidence has nothing to do with this i also like to that by the way that i have to repent before i believe that seems that's interesting yeah that does seem you would think that you would have to – because if I don't

believe ahead of time, I'm just like, yeah, I repent, whatever. Yeah, my repentance wouldn't be meaningful, right? What am I repenting to? What entity am I giving up my repentance to if I've not yet begun the believing process? I think that a lot of these people, including this guy, have a hard time believing that people don't believe in it. Yeah, I think that that lot of these people, including this guy, have a hard time believing that people don't believe in it. Yeah, I think that that's the case. I think that they think that people aren't critically thinking about it.

They're just doing it to be subversive or doing it to be countercultural or doing it because they're angry in some way. They don't like the rules, so they want to push back. But they think that everyone believes in it. Yeah, or that there's a switch you can flip where you're just like, okay, enough with the daddy issues. It's time to get real. Yeah, I think, yeah, exactly. You know, there is nothing normal about being a sodomite.

There is no life that will come out of a rectum. You cannot produce life. It's only death. Every time, there's nothing in a rectum except waste, refuse, and death. This is a story also from Right Wing Watch. Kevin Swanson, God gave gay people AIDS as an act of kindness.

Says man who cannot define kindness. Oh man, this is great. This is this is some good stuff. So let's play Kevin Swanson. We're not going to play this whole clip. We're just going to play part of it. It's like five minutes long. So we're only going to play a couple of minutes of this.

But this is Kevin Swanson on his radio program. Nevertheless, her bias seems to be against those conservatives that would find it somewhat of an issue that homosexuals receive government funding. She says most people qualify for public assistance programs for the HIV antiviral medications. It's approximately $60,000 a year for the cocktail for HIV patients. We're talking 1.2 million of these, $60,000 a year for the cocktail for HIV patients. We're talking 1.2 million of these, meaning that I'd guess it'd be somewhere around $60 billion given especially to those preferred patients who have contracted AIDS because

of their drug habit or their sexual proclivities. And so those who have this specific disease are especially favored by the government and given a fair amount of support for their homosexual activity and the disease that seems to accommodate their activity can i just talk about how how it sounds like he's he just hates them so much. Yep. I mean, I don't know if you're picking up on the way he's talking. Maybe he's just an asshole and that's just how he talks. But it sounds like he is having a real hard time even talking about it and that he's so disgusted by it.

That's what it sounds like to me. so disgusted by it that's what it sounds like to me yeah it sounds he does seem to be avoiding purposely creating this group of of people which he can refer to sort of obliquely so as to define or reduce their humanity you know yeah and now it turns out that there is something in the Word of God concerning God's retribution to their sexual habit. We find that in Romans 1.27, where it refers to homosexuality. This is the famous passage given by the Apostle Paul concerning homosexuality. Men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another. Now, what does that mean? That means they no longer had sexual relations with women, but they turned to men.

They were consumed with passion for one another. Men committing shameless acts with men. And here's the key phrase for Moments 127, by the way, not referred to in the World Magazine article, receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. article receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. So there it does appear that there may be something of the judgment of God that is retributed towards them and assigned to or connected to or correlated with their sexual activity. And it took 2000 years. Right. So like now,

hold on now, now, now, to be fair, it took 000 years and it also infects heterosexuals and intravenous drug users too oh right yeah i mean that's the thing it's like what about like all those kids that are born to aids stricken mothers like you know like to talk about aids as if it's this like uh you know, disease that only afflicts the homosexual population is just a rewriting of the history of that disease. Either that or you just didn't pay attention to anything past like 1985.

Right. Right. Like you like you're just ignoring the AIDS epidemic that has swept across the African continent? Like we're just not, we're just totally going to ignore that? Or is that just God just likes that indiscriminate? He's like, fuck it, I don't give a shit. I'm going to put down a plague for gay people and I don't give a shit that it just destroys the lives of other people. And it doesn't hit all gay people and it's you know not really that effective of a plague if you happen to have money yeah exactly the more money you have the least effective it is

look at fucking uh magic johnson right well i mean look at the thing is a long time ago no it's not a death sentence if you have money aids is fine like if you live in a first world country and you've got money for drugs like i can reduce my – I can probably, if I catch it early enough, I can probably reduce my viral load to be almost non-infectious or genuinely non-infectious to other people. I mean it's – as plagues go, you could do a better job. Why wouldn't it be like a gay – I'm being kind of serious. Why would it be like gay rabies mean i'm being kind of serious like why would it be like gay rabies which is like a hundred percent deadly yeah and and you die within like 20 minutes of sex right you're just like i'll fucking put that in the dude's butt you're just dead you foam

somewhere i don't know where you just like a foam somewhere and then you die. I'm foaming at the dick. I'm foaming out the poop. Uh oh. Done and done. Yeah. Then at least you'd be able to get behind that, you know, be like, well, it seems like there's something there. Yeah. Right.

You'd be like, well, we need to look into that. That seems, that wasn't happening. None of those things ever happened. Right. Instead. In the history of like, and you know, the thing is, is like, like, it's not that god has just suddenly turned around and been like you know what i really don't like is the gays you know what guys i know i've been going here you know you guys rewrote my works you know about a couple thousand years ago but we're gonna go with no gays now in the 2000s yeah i know it took me literally two millennia uh generation after generation after

endless fucking iteration of generations and i was pretty quiet about this okay but now i'm gonna speak up and i'm gonna speak up obliquely by this disease i'm gonna like it's just this would have been a story worth telling 35 years ago do you think that people look back like uh like pat robertson or this jagoff they look back at uh say uh the the plague the black death or whatever it was um you know that killed what is it like fucking half the population of the world or whatever it was back in europe yeah yeah i wonder if they look back on that and say do they have i wonder if they have reasons when they look back on that and say oh well that was because of x y and z yeah some other immorality like yeah i wonder if they have something that they've already picked out that they're like oh well we can cherry pick that because it's you know 800 years ago i wonder man i wonder if like they if they look i but see that

i guess that like that requires too much breadth of historical knowledge right and too much interest in in the reality of of the uh diseases that have plagued history like you know because if you were gonna if you were gonna look at the world and say, well, I want to find a biblical cause for, let's say, smallpox, right? Smallpox is responsible, I think, for the death of a billion people before its eradication. How would you do that when it seemed to strike, like, at random? It just struck everybody, you know? It's too inconvenient i think i think they focus on on things like hiv because it seems convenient as long as they only tell a third

of the story exactly as long as they only tell a part of it you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle truth. So this story comes from the Raw story. Texas Christians lament freedom of religion while protesting Church of Lucifer opening. This is great. So Christians in Spring, Texas, are flipping out over the opening of the Church of Lucifer. So the Church of Lucifer is just, I mean, it's like it's a joke church, right? Yeah. It's like the Church of the Subterranean. It's a joke church. It's a spoof. It's a thumb in the eye of the right wing nuts. And the best part is the right wing nuts can't figure out that

they're being mocked. And so they protest it unironically. It's it's fucking delicious. Well, and then they and then they say things like this is amazing and i can't imagine that this isn't like a fucking uh a plant roll yeah of some sort um this person says this is what you get when we have freedom of religion. This is it, guys. This is why we don't want it. This is why we want to have our lockdown theocracy bullshit. Because otherwise, people will have different ideas. Scary ideas.

Ideas that make me uncomfortable. My favorite part of this is, it says, The church had been vandalized ahead of its opening someone with a chainsaw hacked off a large tree branch and sent it crashing into the building's roof and i thought you know you are in hillbilly country when people are throwing branches through your building it's like that's some chimpanzee shit that is like that's some chimpanzee shit. That's like that's some fucking hee haw motherfucking shit. You know, you can't you don't have a bottle with a fucking bit of gas and a fucking rag. You idiot. The fuck can't you vandalize a property and burn it down like a proper human instead of fucking sawing something off of something else and throwing it into something?

Well, how brazen to. You're clearly not worried about law enforcement happening by. It's like a chainsaw's quiet, like sneak out in the middle of the night. Quiet. We're going to vandalize. Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. No, come on. This is ridiculous.

They have silencers for their chainsaws down there. Chainsaws? It's like their chainsaws down there. They silence chainsaws? It's like stealth chainsaws. Yeah, a stealth chainsaw is called a saw. So we want to thank our most recent patrons, Cabs the Size of Cantaloupes.

And I got to say, the picture for Cabs the Size of Cantaloupes. And I got to say, the picture for cabs the size of cantaloupes is awesome. Jillian, Asriel, Venture Free McGee. That's great. Cecil Top, Tom Bottom. Oh. I changed it. It's Tom Top, Cecil Bottom. I'm unhappy both ways.

Me too. Neither way. And the thing is, Tom Top, Tom can't climb me. There's no way. There's no way I'm getting – He needs to be airlifted, and there's nothing that can airlift him. I'm too big to climb, and Tom's too big to get on top. It's like fucking Mount Everest. It is.

You know, it's just – it's not going to happen. It's like two Krakens having sex. Michael, Michelle, Troy, and Jason. Thank you all so very much. We want to mention that we did hit the actual number for 250. So Tom and I are recording hopefully this Sunday. So we're hoping late Sunday there will be a patron-only show. We're still looking at what we're going to do. We don't think we're going to do a movie review this time.

But we do think that we are going to take some of the suggestions. A lot of people seem to keep saying, do some stuff that you guys don't normally do on the show. Yeah. And so we may just bullshit about other stuff instead, but we'll keep you posted.

You should have it. Actually, you might even have it before this show posts for the rest of everybody. Now, the patrons will probably hear this before, but everyone else, the patron only show should probably come out before the actual show hits. Tom, we got a message from Jennifer about the virginity certificate. Yeah, Jennifer had some interesting points. She said, I see one good reason why a doctor would do such an examination, referring to a virginity test. It may be their only chance to give the women a brief overview of sex ed.

I couldn't find the original article I saw, but it's about halfway down here. She quotes it. Quote, that's why Torres says most doctors take a different approach and they're asked to perform tests for virginity. What I do and what I think most reasonable physicians do is I use the premarital exam for the sex talk, Torres said. I use it because my patients, and I actually believe them, have not had any sort of sexual activity. They're jumping off their cliff on the wedding night, and so I use the time to talk about consent, active communication, birth control, and exploring each other's bodies instead of diving right into penis and vagina sex. Women walk away from those conversations about consent and desire, Torres said, with much more information than the knowledge they already had about their own virginity.

My patients will look at me like, I wish somebody had ever told me that, she said. I'm the first person talking to them about this. I thought that was pretty great, actually. I thought that's kind of awesome. was pretty great actually i thought that's that's kind of awesome if that's really what doctors are doing um i guess i'm shocked that there's a prevalence of this we have a message from elvis and elvis left us uh he gave us a uh well we'll just let you listen to it dick and balls were used by golly fa la la la la la la la virgin birth is utter folly. Fa la la la la la la la la. Virgin birth is utter folly. Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fast away religion passes. Fa la la la la la la la la. Kick their motherfucking asses. Fa la la la la la la la. Along Blackhawk. That's awesome. I love it. I love it.

It's a little early for Christmas carols, but that's okay. Yeah. Thank you, Elvis. I hope I get a new one. Maybe he'll do like the 12 Days of Christmas. love it i love it uh it's a little early for christmas carols but that's okay yeah thank you elvis i hope i get a new one maybe he'll do like the 12 days of christmas he just sends a new carol so um we had asked marsh and andy uh if they could use minge in a sentence and marsh and andy being proper brits uh could not no they. They were not able to actually. They sidestepped. But Jonathan and Gemma, is it Gemma or Gemma? Well, they're in the UK, so it's impossible to know.

Yeah, because it would be Cecil over there. Right. Yeah. It's just, however it is, it's pronounced wrong. It's probably emphasis on all the wrong syllables. Maybe she's a grandma, like Grandma, like Gemma. Right. You know, like you say.

I'm going to assume it's Gemma because I've've watched sons of anarchy and it's jemma okay jemma fair enough so uh jonathan and jemma say this is this is what it would sound like if you were to say minge in a sentence so i'm going to try to read it hey lads i shagged this bird last night and fuck me her minge was wetter than an otter's pocket admittedly an otter's pocket is pretty wet i love how american i just said that too by the way there's no way anyone would ever say that that american right but the translation is tom do you want to read the translation sure i say fellows I had sexual intercourse with a young lady this previous evening, and my goodness, her vagina was extremely well lubricated. Super awesome.

Thank you, Jonathan. I'm going to use wetter than an otter's pocket fucking like a hundred times a day. That's going to be great. That is an outrageously delightful sentence we got a message from jeff and jeff uh says he's from tennessee and he started talking about um started talking about uh jesus camp the movie and if you haven't seen jesus camp you should watch jesus camp i don't know if it's still available on netflix i know it was for a very long time uh it's a great film uh really one of those shocking movies where you watch it and you just

can't believe that these things are real. It almost feels like a Poe movie where you're just shocked that these people actually do these things. But he says at the end of the email, he says, I loved it when that crazy bitch said if Harry Potter had happened in the Old Testament times, he would have been stoned to death. She does realize Harry Potter is a fictional character, right? I love that. It's so funny because people, they say that shit. You're just like, well, that's not a person. That's a fictional person.

You're going to be like, Harry Potter didn't happen. So we got a message, Tom, from Sarah about some BB gun safety. Yeah, this is fucking crazy. I want to read part of this. Sarah says that she's playing Airsoft. It says, well, normally we would wear masks and goggles. And I was 16 and thought I was invincible. So I was only wearing my goggles one day and I got shot point blank in the mouth with my own gun, which I had borrowed to someone.

Long story short, I now have a fake tooth. Wow. Holy shit. That sucks so bad. I've never played airsoft. I had no idea they were tooth shooting out strong. I had no idea. I wonder what the draw to airsoft over paintball would be.

Because paintball seems like you would be able to tell when someone was hit. Airsoft doesn't feel like that, I guess. I think it's because the airsoft guns look more real. Oh, I see. They look more real. Yeah, I think that really is the thing. It's the look it's because the airsoft guns look more real oh i see they look yeah i think that i think that that really is the thing it's the look and feel of an air so have you ever held one of those things yeah oh yeah they look very real and they're just like it's like feels like a real gun like seems like a real gun in a lot of ways like they're awful close

so tom uh there's another person who dislikes the amish almost as much as you yeah that's impossible to dislike them anywhere near as much as I, but I appreciate this from Katie. She says, I also hate the Amish. I travel for work a lot to Amish country in Pennsylvania. One morning we had to go to Costco, and there were these weird little shack things in the Costco parking lot. I was confused, having to been to many Costcos across many states,

and I asked my coworkers what was going on. And they told me that they are buggy houses for the Amish buggies. So the Amish with their fucking button only clothes get into their horse powered carriages and mosey on down old timey style to the local fucking Costco so they can buy in bulk. So yeah, Costco is ye olde store of choice. Ye olde!

I love it. That's awesome. It's funny too because they only take Discover and that's the only credit card that the Amish can have is the Discover card. That's it. Speaking of Amish credit cards, we have a message from Christina

and she says that at Amish markets, at the market, just the farmer's market, if there's that Amish markets at the market, you know, just the farmer's market. There's an Amish person. She'll if she pays cash, the guy takes the cash, but she pays credit. You go next door and swipe the money, the credit. And then the guy who's next door and the stall next door gives the money to the person. That's the Amish person. Yeah, it's just this is like that.

It just it's just lying to get around the rules, you know, like because if they're doing this for religious purposes. I mean, aren't they just circumventing the rule? Isn't that all it is? It's like it's like tricking God through paperwork. It's that helper monkey for the Jews. Right. You know, the Sabbath. It's the Sharia lending where you pretend it's not interest.

It's just fees that adds up to interest that you pay compounded over time. It's the same thing. I was so confused by that Sharia lending thing. I thought it was a reverse mortgage. I didn't know. All those Muslims wound up with heaven. Well, that's how it works. I guess I didn't.

You know, I just I gave him all the benefit of the doubt. I ain't reading all that paperwork. We got a message from Devin, who was basically sent us a rant about social justice warriors. And I wanted to touch on a couple of things that Devin talks about. One, he says, you can't tell me that you're part of the greater atheist movement and you're unaware of the recent Thunderfoot laughing witch saga. First thing I will tell you is yes, I will. And secondly,

I'm not part of the greater atheist movement. I'm not part of any atheist movement. I'm just a guy who has a podcast. I don't consider myself a driver of any sort of any atheist. I tell people jokes about news items. I'm not a greater atheist movement person. The other thing that Devin says is he talks about how he sort of passes off certain people.

He specifically mentions Rebecca Watson in here and says that that person – it says Rebecca Watson and he says, I don't know, this is Anna. I can't even pronounce the name is Sarkeesian's Jonathan McIntosh and PZ Myers of the world. People who are so toxic, they pollute the good name of progressivism and progressive activism. You know, I would not pass off Rebecca Watson as useless or not having anything to say. And I think that's what we're getting at here. You may not like Rebecca Watson as useless or not having anything to say. And I think that's what we're getting at here. You may not like Rebecca Watson. You may disagree with many of Rebecca Watson stances, but if you watch Rebecca Watson,

talk about somebody like Deepak Chopra or ghosts or, uh, you know, ESP, trust me, you're going to watch her and you're going to agree with her. You're going to, you're going to watch her and you're going to think,

man, she's right on. So you may not agree with her. You're going to watch her and you're going to think, man, she's right on. So you may not agree with her on everything. And that's okay. It's okay not to agree with everybody on everything. I don't agree with C.J. Werleman on everything. I mean, I agree with C.J. Werleman probably on very little. But there is things that he posted.

I'm like, yeah, absolutely straight, spot on, bro. Absolutely spot on. So the fact is, is that what i'd like to see people do and i think this is just a way to be more honest and you know you don't have to you can fucking hate these people be whatever do whatever you want and fucking i don't care i just feel like it's it's lazy of me i'm not going to say this to you you can think however you want but i think it's lazy of me to brand a whole group of people and think i can't learn anything from them or they don't have anything of worth to say. I think that, you know,

even there's sometimes Tom and I will be listening to Pat Robertson say something. And I was like, fuck, he's right on. Absolutely right on. I'm not going to deny that the guy is right on sometimes just because I don't like most of the shit he says. And I also think too, you know, when especially is when people are pretty much in the same camp as you.

It's difficult to read something or see something that one of these people writes and not automatically think, you know, if you read something for Rebecca Watson, you wouldn't think automatically. Why do I disagree with this? I think that's a bad mindset to come into things with to walk in and say, why do I disagree with this? I think that's a bad mindset to come into things with, to walk in and say, why do I disagree with this? Now, when it comes to, you know, when it comes to like where Tom and I find these stories and things like that, they're already sort of set in that motion, right? Like fucking the Raw story and Right Wing Watch.

I mean, those people have already picked out the particular moments of Gordon Klingenschmitt's show that we're going to disagree with. But I guarantee if I watched all of Gordon klingenschmitt's show that we're going to disagree with but i i guarantee if i watched all of gordon klingenschmitt's show he's going to say some things i'm going to agree with i'm going to be like yeah he's right yep that's true you know even if it's just fucking the sky is blue or something right you know there's going to be something he's going to say that i'm going to be like oh okay maybe you know maybe he's right about that or maybe that requires me to think about this more um i just feel like it's super easy just to throw people away and just say, oh yeah, well,

I just disagree with that entire movement and I don't have to pay attention to anything any of those people say. It reminds me of when I was in school, I got an English degree and when I was in school, one of the things that I learned early on was to examine or evaluate the text without any relevance to its author first. Because if you go into something with a preconception based on the author, oh, I know the author is a, you know, and this was pointed out to me particularly with a particular series of short stories where we read a short story. And if we knew if you went into that knowing ahead of time that the author was a black woman,

it was it was almost guaranteed you were going to read certain stories in a certain light. And that colored your understanding of the material. And it's kind of the same concept, like, you know, what Rebecca Watson or any of these people say is either valid or not valid, regardless of the fact that I may disagree with all of their politics or I may disagree with the way that they espouse their views. I mean, the validity of an argument has no relationship to the author of the argument. And they need to be evaluated separately if we're really going to be critical and be good critical thinkers. And another thing, too, I just want to mention this real quick. Both sides are guilty of a lot of pigheaded of uh pig-headedness in my opinion i mean you know you know you you want to talk about how the side that you sort of represent is not is is fighting against how the other side is is doxing people and outing people and being you know not using logic

man i we had on uh you know i'll tell i'll tell two sides of the story. The first time we were – we got crazy – I'm not attacked, but like tons of people sent in a bunch of messages, shitty messages, was the first time we had DJ Grothy on the show. I think it's the only time we had DJ Grothy on. And a bunch of people didn't like – and the reason why they didn't like him is because he has – he's on the one side. He's on the far – the one side of this argument. And so people immediately started leaving tons of comments about, oh, it was super racist when he said gypsy. It was super – oh, my god. How do you even listen to this guy? And they just listed all this stuff.

They just tried to take apart anything he had to say, even though all the stuff he had to say was really really really interesting and really on point explaining how they handle how how the that group of people um that are that are involved in the you know the the bilking of people through their you know through pretending to be psychics you know he was he was just you know he's bashing psychics like you wouldn't believe and doing a great job of it but they didn't find any worth in that they just wanted to pick on one thing that he said because they didn't like him and then we had greta christina on the exact opposite end of the spectrum and we never once talked to her about feminism not a single time and we got a negative review that called us like ultra fucking leftist feminists who think that you know uh every time there's vaginal sex a woman is a guy a woman is raped or something stupid like that and i was like

we didn't even talk about that we talked about her book coming out atheist we never fucking talked to her about feminism not a single time but the problem is is people are so pig-headed that they hear or they see someone that they dislike so now they've got to fucking lash out and that's childish and stupid we got a message from jonathan and jonathan wanted us to to talk about his uh the skeptic group that's in montreal because there was a caller from montreal and uh and he and he said hey there's a a group called mouton no more i guess i don't know how do you i don't know what mouton it is it's a very cheap no more right that's it's a cheap right it's a website that is in french so i understand some of it there is some

english i guess there's some english on there and then there's also some french so uh if you want to check them out you can they're in montreal we're going to put a link to it on this week's show notes um so you can see it and uh the person who called last week, we're thinking it's JS from Montreal. You can check out that skeptics group. We got a message, a bunch of messages about that Brevik guy. It looks like that his sentence, I think, was that. But it's not that he's going to get out because I guess that that's like how they that's the time in which they parole them or something. They sort of explained it.

Gosh, how the fuck do you pronounce that? Thor Vind says I just he says that in general, the Norwegian system is a rehabilitation based, not revenge based. And if there is there is a protect the community mechanism. So if your sentence has this, you will not be released until it's determined that you're no longer a threat to society. So it sounds like the parole system here. Yeah, I like that. It's like you get 21 years,

but if you're still fucked up, we can hang on to you. So for example, if you're the greatest mass murderer in all recent time, then we're going to hang on to you for a while as it turns out we got a message uh from judy and judy asked if there's if we know of any non-faith-based counseling so secular counseling um you know mental health care professionals that are just

you know not faith-based the only person we ever had on that ever talked about uh any sort of counseling like this was rebecca hensler from grief beyond belief um but that was a grief counseling not specifically just you know mental health counseling so i don't know but if people know um maybe post it on the facebook uh as a comment for this particular episode there's a weird sort of foid card that the amish people can get yeah i had i they can get their thumbprint in place of a picture on the card. They have to sign with a big X. Is that how they sign? I done signed with my mark.

Ma, Pa, make your mark upon this page. That's amazing. That's awesome. I love that they have fucking thumbprints. And I guess that they just buy like ye olde guns it's the guns that they inherit but they can't buy like fucking with the thumbprint cards you can't go and get anything worthwhile right you can only like load ye olde musket yeah you can put it basically says they're allowed to possess the firearm so they can't buy a new firearm or ammunition but they can they to possess the firearm. So they can't buy a new firearm or ammunition, but they can possess the firearm legally.

So if it's in their car or something. Car. They wouldn't get arrested. If it's in their car, yeah. So, yeah. They wouldn't be. Probably not in their car. No, no car.

Because they're fucking Amish. Turns out, yeah. Yeah. So I guess if they're like walking around their property with a fucking flintlock pistol or something it's in their buggy right and yeah for a drive by a buggy by shooting we got a image for indiana um and and i i think this is great i think you know the image itself is uh it's uh this is from susan and susan says i found in an old timey book this great pick of indiana it's all pigs paint and refrigerators so funny and if you look at it

it really is just all i mean it's like all they need on here is one meth house right they put one meth house in here somewhere i think that that all. I think that that would be... Someone should... Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to post this. This is great. And then we should have a coloring contest. Where people add their own. I love it. Add their own shit to Indiana.

Where they have a state outline and they just draw all the garbage that's in Indiana. Like fucking road cones on I-65 would you love to live like okay so evansville indiana oil okay fine and then next to it just says refrigerators oh doesn't that rather imply that the rest of indiana is bereft of refrigerators i love this there's like grain elevators like oh let's go see the grain elevators of indiana let's go to indiana's beautiful strip coal mining oh i look i like how urban fort wayne looks what is there like seven people in fort wayne jesus it's like a fucking tent city are you kidding me a tent city damn be lucky to say this is railroad center you'd be lucky that a Damn. Be lucky.

I would say this is railroad center. You'd be lucky that a train goes there. Right? Yeah. It's just like railroad center. It's like one guy on one of those push cart things. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

He's pumping it up and down. It's like a pump cart. Fucking Fort Wayne. Are you shitting me? God. It's amazing. Anyway anyway thanks for sending in we're going to post it on this week's show uh so check it out on uh on our website so uh we're gonna be back uh next week we're gonna have a only one show again next week but we will have a patron only show that we're posting specifically to Patreon probably on Sunday. So after this

post to everyone else, you'll have an opportunity to... Only the people who are patrons, of course, can listen. But we hope that people enjoy it, and it should be pretty fun. We want to thank everybody for getting us to this goal, and we can't thank you guys enough for donating to the show. So that's going to wrap

it up for this week. We're going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized,

stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Thank you. churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. so i want to tell you a story though before we get started all right so i know everybody hates comcast because i hate comcast yeah they're terrible. And I think I, you know, like you see the memes where they're like fucking worse than Hitler. And they literally are worse than Hitler. I mean, let's be honest. Oh, yeah.

If I could have Hitler back, but get rid of Comcast. If Hitler could meter my internet for me, that would be awesome. So, so I get a while back, my fucking pay-per-view stopped working and then like i called comcast to try to fix it which is a greater problem than the slaughter of six million exactly let's let's be let's be very clear about our priorities so i i try to fix try to fix it try to fix it they fucking they had me on the phone i want to say no fewer than 10 times trying to fix it they sent a guy out here he couldn figure it out, and they just gave the fuck up. They're like, you can't get pay-per-view.

There's no pay-per-view for me. I cannot get a UFC anymore. But you used to. Yeah, I know. But then it just stopped working. That's what changed. It stopped. It's like going to the doctor and being like, I'm a fucking can't move my arm anymore.

What do you think it is? Well, I think it's arm immobility. The thing is that your arms stop working. Well, that's not an – that's the symptom, motherfucker. They couldn't figure it out. They had it. They fucking tried to reset my box many times. It was so funny because I'd get on the phone with them and I'd have these conversations. i keep on talking to them over and over and i'm like look the pay-per-view

didn't work yesterday oh well we're showing that it did and i would have these arguments with them we're showing you look at pay-per-view did not work i pressed the button it didn't work anyway so that didn't work so that was a while ago i get a message from comcast that says hey press this button on your on your remote to see if you need to upgrade your box. Because we have to upgrade all the boxes. Okay, fine. I kind of put it off for like a really long time. I was like –

Because I don't – there's two boxes in my house. One of them I rarely use. We use it maybe once a month when someone else is in the other room, that sort of thing. Maybe a little more than that. But clearly we don't use it all the time i just like i put it off put it off i finally press the button it's like you need a new box you can set this up where they'll send you one and you can install it yourself and i was like that sounds great i just fucking want to get over with you stop putting this thing on my screen you know right and so i fucking get the new box it

shows up today i plug it in and it says go to comcast activate or whatever to activate your box so i go there and the website's down and i'm like how the fuck is the website like it's fucking your comcast you run the internet you're selling me you provide it you provide it to me how are you down how does it even work so then i i was like okay fine well that's down it has a phone number on it so i'm like i'll just call like how hard could this be so i call the guy's like okay well you got to do this thing set your box up and i said i'd already set it up i was like it's already set up sir all i have to do is plug it in just tell me when to do

it he's like okay plug it in plug it in i plugged it in he's like it's gonna do its thing so it does its thing for a while. And the whole time he's like, every two minutes, he's like, what is it doing now? What's it doing now? It's being a box. And it can't. What do you, what does he think it's going to do? Like grow fucking arms and legs and start dancing?

Well, it shows different shit on the screen. And so he's like, oh, you know, what is it doing? Oh, well, it's, it's, it says, you know, upgrading your experience. But it's been upgrading my experience for like the past five minutes so then finally it it finally gets to an error and it and it says yeah um your shit needs to be restarted by a rep like somebody at comcast and there's a number on the screen i say i read it to him and he's like oh okay well let me do that so he does it nothing happens he does it again nothing happens we go through a cycle of me restarting the box him sending a signal him me now waiting five minutes and then reporting the

status of the screen to him for five minutes then it finally shuts itself down and says it can't be rebooted or whatever they've got to do it and then he tries it twice and then he tells me to reset the box. I spent almost an hour on the phone with this guy today. An hour of my day trying to fix this fucking box that I don't even really care that I watched. Yeah, you didn't even want it. I didn't even really care.

You were happy with the old box. Totally worked. And now I've got to set aside time in my week to be home when one of those jagoffs comes to my door and tries to fix my box. The last time I talked to Comcast, dude, the last time – because we don't watch any TV at our house. Like I have a cable box only because the only way for me to get internet was to also – like it was cheaper for me to get, and I don't understand this business model. It was cheaper for me to get TV and internet than it was for me just to get internet.

Huh. So I want just the internet. And they're like, yeah, it's like 70 bucks. I'm like, fine, great. Cancel the TV. I don't need it because I used to have a TiVo and I had a Comcast card that went into TiVo. Yeah, yeah.

And we just stopped using it. We just found we just don't use it for anything. So I'm like, well, I don't want to because i used to have a tivo and i had a comcast card that went into tivo yeah yeah and we just stopped using it we just found we just don't use it for anything so i'm like well i don't want to pay for it so just cancel i'm like well it's 70 bucks i'm like fine great whatever i don't care and then like but you can get internet and then we'll upgrade your internet and give you tv it'll be 60 bucks i was like wait yeah but that's only a limited time that's what that's how the business model works right yeah yeah it's only for limited time that's what that's how the business model works right yeah yeah it's only for like i don't know they i think i had to agree to have it for two years or something i don't remember so i was like okay fine so then they sent out this cable box thing and it didn't work i the same i like the fucking same experience like it's like do you want

to have somebody come out and pay to have them install or do you want to do yourself i'm like i'm gonna connect it so i connect it and it doesn't work and i call the guy and i'm like it doesn't work it i get i get sound but i get no picture and he's like ah you're probably not connecting or i'm like it's an hdmi cable yeah it's one cable it goes from the thing to the other thing like anybody literally anybody could do this yeah i could get my fucking infant son to connect this as long as you covered it with peanut butter he'd probably be like yes fucking literally anybody that can put a thing into a thing could do this this is not fucking rocket science so you know like we go back and forth and back and forth and on and on and finally i said you know the guy's like all right well call go back and forth and back and forth and on and on. And finally I said, you know, the guy's like, all right, well, call us back.

And I said, I think you misunderstand this relationship. If I have to ever call you ever again in my life, the only reason I will call you is to cancel service. I will never call for any other reason ever, not even one time. So we can either stay on the phone and fix the problem, which is fine, or we can cancel all of my services right now. I'm happy either way. I literally have no preference. It means nothing to me. But I will never pick up this phone and dial your number again.

That can never happen. That's awesome. And they stayed on the phone and they stayed on the phone they stayed on the phone and eventually it was to say i got a fucking new box sent and i connected and it worked because the other one was broken but they never want to admit that the first thing they send doesn't work yeah that's probably what happened here is this one's broken i guarantee this guy's gonna come in here he's gonna walk in he's gonna fiddle with it for a second he's like oh it's fucking busted it doesn't work the last time i had comcast out i

was getting internet problems i was having internet like intermittent service and i called them and i said i'm having intermittent service and they're like okay we'll send somebody out and then they send somebody out and the guy's like yeah you didn't have it connected right but the guy spent all his time outside of my house and then came in and changed the modem out. And then it worked. And it worked great. And I'm like, that motherfucker opened up some shit outside. And now he's blaming me for it.

I was like, fuck you, dude. I didn't have it connected. There's no way it was connected just fine. It was working, asshole. It was just working like shit well plus it's like it probably was working for several months at a time and then stopped working then stops working right so it's like oh you connected it wrong when you do that it only works for six months like what are you talking about it only works for four years and then suddenly that takes a shit on you yeah right you want to

be like that's not how electricity works i'm sorry you know that this is all based on electricity right i can't wait until fucking uh like there's a a viable option other than comcast that opens up for me because my building gets comcast so my building is sort of like has a group plan so we i can't change out but the moment that ends i going to be like any of you, literally any other of you I will take. You know, that's a business, honestly, that has to be shitting itself in fear constantly because it has to know. I mean, it has to know that all rankings rated is the most hated company in America. Yeah. to know that all rankings rated as the most hated company in america yeah and so everybody is switching immediately when they have literally any other option yeah any other option you could

be like the other option could be like hello i'm two tin cans and a string service you'd be like fucking right on bro it's amish internet service here you go yeah we send things by carrier pigeon like all right that's fine what's your upload speeds they're one it's one it's literally one one megabyte no no one one one bite of information some amish guy runs over your house and takes a bite of a sandwich he runs over and he just goes one and then he runs back and he's like zero and then he runs back back and he's like, zero. And then he runs back, one. And then he runs back, zero. Hang on, I got to write this down. What was the last number?