Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 260: Angry Black Rant

Episode Date: November 16, 2015

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. This is Working Class Skeptic. Regarding your comparisons between John Rambo and Jesus, I'd like to correct the apprehension that he almost died. At the end of First Blood, the novel, John Rambo actually does die. But, miraculously, he's resurrected a little later when everybody realizes there's a shit ton of money to be made off this guy.

Kinda like Jesus. Glory hole, gentlemen. Oh, look at what we have here. A couple of heathens. And very nice ones, I must say. Hello, gentlemen. hello gentlemen i am well just call me chris r and i actually have a proposition for you i've heard a lot about josh fierstein and you guys were complaining about him so i've come up with a positive solution long story short he actually didn't purchase the domain josh fierstein.com he only purchased joshfierstein.com, you'll have purchased joshuafierstein.com. I went ahead and purchased it, so I figured I'd spend a little positivity about it.

So, if you guys want to hit it up, check it out. Maybe your listeners will be interested to know what the project is all about. You know you want to do it, just do it. Thanks a lot, guys. Hey, guys. I think the thing about Airsoft

is, it does, you're totally right, it looks more real when you're out there playing with a paintball gun and you're holding it up in the air and you're just giving, ah, because a lot of people like to dress like Army, they like to dress like Al-Qaeda,

ISIS, whatever. It's a lot harder to scream a lot of Akbar when you're pointed up in the air and the paintballs are falling out of the side. That is basically it. Glory Hall. Call your hits. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago well two-thirds of us are alive no this well literally none of it's live it's live no none of it is we're live right now are you not live right now when we're recording i was only two-thirds live i don't know what he means it's not three-fifths it's two-thirds

this yes it's going downhill it's really going downhill jesus christ every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way can't take this motherfucker anywhere we've been that is my basement it's like your house and i can't take you here you know it's bad when you're fucking ashamed to be in my basement. When you're looking around like, where's the escape? I got to be by the door. This is Cognitive Dissidence. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 260 of Cognitive Dissonance, and we are joined by Ishmael from Angry Black Rant. Thank you very much for being on our show. I have a question before we get started. It's kind of an important question. I've been thinking about this all week, and I'm so glad that you're here because i just want to know will you be my black friend definitely yes i have one uh i thought you were gonna ask if the uh you know if i'm in doubt or something like that that's like a given he's talking all wistful about it be like so like does it really tap you on the knee

my wife was wondering yeah she was asking in great detail actually she says she no longer wonders i don't know what that means something like scratched that itch i'm not sure what she's getting at. She came home with, like, cornrows. I was like, oh, baby, don't worry about that shit. Can you picture Colleen with cornrows? That would be amazing. Oh, my God. That's great. She comes in, what up, T-Dog?

Oh, my God. I'm super uncomfortable. That's great. Thanks so much, man, for being on the show. I'm super uncomfortable. That's great. Thanks so much, man, for being on the show. We really appreciate it. The story we wanted to talk about has nothing to do with race at all. No, no. And if it did, it would only be coincidental.

Yeah. How did we select this story? This is from Right Wing Watch. Michael Savage, Black Lives Matter are Obama's brown shirts and secret private army. So if it's from Mike Savage, it's got to be good. Exactly. I love the secret. Well, even leaving off the brown shirts, the secret army, it is like, so what's so secret about it?

What are you talking about? You know, and any in any. And I love if you notice, he says, you know, Hitler's brown shirts, you know, be beat people up with clubs, intimidate police, call cause total. I think he said, like, anarchy to society. And then he says, hey, if I'm wrong, what are they, Sterling students on their way to medical school? As if those are the two options, the only two options. They need the brown shirts or their medical students. There's literally no continuum between those two things.

It's just like you could be handed a truncheon or a stethoscope. Those are the two. You're just like, I don't know. It's a pretty tough choice.uncheon or a stethoscope. Those are the two. You're just like, hmm, I don't know. It's a pretty tough choice, truncheon or stethoscope. All right. Well, let's listen to this fucking ass bag, and I'm sure we'll have some things to say. I'll ask you quickly about the Black Lives Matter. We have another incident in a school in South Carolina.

A teacher said to the kid, put down your cell phone. Stop talking. No. They called the principal. Put it down. No. I'm calling the cop. Cop comes in.

Put it down or I'll drag you out of your seat. No. So the cop drags her out of the seat. Now the FBI. Hold on. Pause there for a second. He didn't fucking drag her. He pole started her like a fucking lawnmower is what he did.

He didn't fucking drag her out of her seat. He flipped that bitch right over and fucking based like the fucking WWE on her seat he's stone colder it's right over and fucking base like the fucking wwe on her ass and do you see the comparison of how they downplay his role but then when you see uh other stations who break down the video if her hand touches his face it's like look she punched him in the face like what else is he gonna do her hand flails upward in a desperate attempt to like not die as she's being basically pitched to the floor he spikes her like a volleyball

dude as he does like that's that that is the only way to treat somebody who won't put down a cell phone when I watched that fucking video a dozen times from every different angle and I do not see for a second someone saying that she punched her

like i was like i'm looking i'm like fucking where the fuck did she take a swing because it must have happened before he fucking pull starts her out of her desk well according to don lemon he's like well we got to see what happened before we can't judge this until we see what she did to deserve this well that's fair what if he shot him what if she shot him yeah and then we didn't see that sure like immediately like right before maybe she had like an rpg in her backpack and was like launching missiles through the classroom we forget all the time that these are kids like a man like think about the fucking dumb stupid decisions you made as a kid like as a kid i fucking it's like it's your job as a teenager to push back against authority that's what every teenager yeah sure but but when these situations

happen um there is a rush to judgment like well they you know this kid should know better they should behave but fucking kids don't behave well that's how kids kid like that's how you do it like if they behaved well we wouldn't have to spend fucking 17 years of their lives domesticating them like wild animals that's what we do that's what you that's what all you're doing is hurting them yeah in a rough direction that you hope they continue to travel along that is the entirety of parenting yeah and and i'm curious so if this let's say he's justified in doing what he did because she didn't follow orders what do you do to a kid that actually tries to fight back like do you just murder him like oh yeah just take out your gun and shoot him in the head and say hey what the fuck you expect me to do what the fuck is wrong with you my shit wrinkled over that nappy head motherfucker don't you fucking touch me boom like look what do you want what did you want me to do i'm only

three times your size and bristling with weapons and i have a radio to call more friends all right yeah yeah my name is officer slam i can bench press like 500 fucking pounds and this is a high school girl. Well, let's hear what Eyebrows McGee here has to say about this. Is investigating. Black Lives Matter, they chant in the streets. You've seen it and they don't denounce it, the leadership. Put pigs in a blanket, fry them like bacon. Where the heck are we heading?

The Black Lives Matter movement, and I'm going to say it like it is, are Obama's shock troops. They're the brown shirts that Hitler had in Germany. How's that? Does that work for you? That doesn't work for me at all. Does that work for you? Obama's shock troops. I love it.

What are they doing as shock troops? Are they taking over the government? Oh, Obama's already in charge. What, what are they doing? It's shock troops. Like, are they taking over the government? Oh, Obama's already in charge. What the fuck do they do? You know, the big problem I have with that is Obama has access to the actual troops. You don't need anything else. I don't need to have. I'm not trying to destabilize my own government to put myself in power when I'm in power.

Yeah. And did you notice how he shoehorned the black lives matter because he says the fbi's investigating you would think he would say they're the brown shirts but he just throws in black lives matters and talks about something that happened months ago where people chanted fry him like bacon because he knew michael savage came on to talk about fucking black lives matters period right so the guy just kind of throws that out there at the end that has nothing to do with this Spring Valley high school shit. He's just like,

oh yeah, Black Lives Matter. Hold on. I think that young lady was texting Black Lives Matter and she got pulled from her fucking chair. Let me see that hashtag. Hold on a minute. Oh, I'm gonna throw you across the room if I don't like your hashtag.

Improper use of hashtag, motherfucker. Well, hang on. He might become more cogent in the next. Yeah, this is going to happen. Never forget what Hitler did in the beginning. He used street thugs that he gave uniforms to brown shirts and ties to beat people up with clubs. Wait, why? They got to be brown shirt to intimidate the police.

Never forget what Hitler did in the beginning. We're at the tail end of Obama's administration, by the way. To cause a total takeover of civil society. Make no mistake about it. This is the secret private army that Barack Hussein Obama's been talking about. That's what they're building. Let's say I'm paranoid. Let's say we're all crazy. What are they then? Okay what they're building. Let's say I'm paranoid. Let's say we're all crazy.

What are they then? Okay. Chuck. Yeah, let's say he's paranoid. Chuck Gann made, sir. And I love he said the secret private army that Barack Hussein Obama has been talking about. He has? Like, did I miss something?

What the fuck secret private army is he talking about? It was during the State of the Union address. Yeah, he said that shit. Yeah, and his advisors were like, motherfucker, it's not a secret private army when you talking about it was during the state of the union address yeah he said that shit yeah and his advisors were like motherfucker it's not a secret private army when you talk about it and don't you know the first rule of secret private army you don't talk about secret private army and if obama was going to take over anything everyone knows drones would be his secret private army no shit he's got little brown shirts on his he dresses up the little drones personally himself like buttoning the tiny buttons on their little shirts he's like this is the best part of my day but didn't they button them up and he like pats it on the head and then it goes off and then the next one comes up and he dresses

it pats it and then they're like american girl dolls he's got like a whole collection of which which outfit will i give to you today bruno he's sitting on the floor with his legs crossed just like dressing up the doll dressing up the drones before they go off he's got this predator drone is huge in this room and he's got a fucking wig on it. He's just brushing his hair and humming. They're sterling citizens. They were all on their way to medical school before they became thugs in the street. Please.

You know that's not the case. Yeah. We know that's a false dichotomy. Yeah, right? I get to see them in a debate being like, are they medical students? Are they on their way to medical school? No, brown shirts. Exactly. Case closed. They're not medical students. Count it.

And then you want to point at Michael Savage like, and you went to medical school in what year exactly? Yelling about stuff. Eyebrows. I don't know. The only thing that's missing from that is someone saying hashtag all lives matter. I think that's the only thing missing from that. That's how he should have ended it.

He should have. And then just spiked his mic. And they do that like explosion sound. Not the first time he said Obama in the Hitler reference. He said that with immigration too he says that's like a weekly thing with him he says that shit all the time i i would like to get them in the room him and all those other idiots who say like uh the gays are hitler and like you know and just have them fight it out to see who the fuck is is the actual coming hitler

is it gay people fighting for gay marriage is it obama is it planned parenthood like how many fucking hitlers is this country created you know i will say for the number of hitlers that we have we have a surprising number of jews i'm just saying you would think with this many hitlers yeah that we'd be bereft of Jews. You couldn't get a bagel in New York. But according to Ben Carson, Hitler can't come to power now because everybody has guns. And the stupid Jews gave away their guns. It was all their fault. Those foolish Jews.

Hate on them for a little while. Victim blames six million dead people, bro. That works. That'll get your poll numbers up what do you think of bed carson man that guy's a fucking train wreck isn't he uh he's i don't like to i don't want to make fun i don't want to like just write him off and say he has some mental condition but doesn't he seem like he's like it's more than just him being stupid like watching him talk and he seems like he's one of those guys who are brilliant in his field, but everything else he's way behind, like even in normal social interactions.

You know what he seems like to me is a really brilliant heating and air conditioning guy. You know what I mean? Like he knows how to fucking brain works like you wouldn't believe. You know, he can fucking neurosurgeon the fuck out of some nerve, know but when it comes to anything else the guy's just fucking dumb as a rock real bad did you guys see the thing he said about the the pyramids the other day joseph's green granary it's like it's storing wheat it's not a giant wheat shaker they're not even hollow inside like they're like it's like the worst place to store what are you talking about like joseph just did it like hey i need

to store grains let's create these huge pyramids to just put some grains in like what i don't and he's like oh it couldn't be like tombs because i don't even remember his reasoning it's just like yeah that's nobody remembers his reason yeah because that's the wrong word to use plus it's like joseph and the pyramids weren't even concurrent time wise like they're just like they're like they simply can't even be a thing like and wouldn't we find grain in them if we open up like sure that's the thing that makes me laugh it's like because he's and when he talks about that he's dismissing the aliens yeah that's part of the context like it wasn't aliens it was somebody long dead putting wheat in there and he's like what the

fuck is happening he's like look was it medical students it clearly wasn't medical students right so it's clearly a green assholes hashtag wheat lives matter so hold on now hold on now we're fucking with bed carson but fucking the republican ticket is a fucking goddamn disaster buckle trump is no better fucking all the rest of them you could clunk their fucking heads together and get one brain cell yeah carly they're all fucking terrible i i would i don't have any republican friends that i know of i would like to talk to them like what so what do you think of your fucking party aren't you insulted that this is just the norm now for presidential candidates the dumbest fucking person who says the right

who says the right fucking lines of god and guns and and then they're on the fucking ticket like yeah i don't know it is all god guns and tax cuts yeah that's it those are the three things i know abortions i guess it's like gay marriage finally got out the fucking conversation for most of them anyway yeah i could be still fucking trying yeah there's constantly just like, well, if I get in, I'm going to make the gays hate it again. So we're going to be back with Ishmael from Angry Black Rant at the end of the show. We're going to be doing a few stories between now and then. You know, one of the things, Tom, that I think is absolutely appropriate

is that a guy named Ishmael is being interviewed by two white whales later. Because there's nothing but death and refuse in the rectum. No life can come out of the rectum. The rectum is designed to get rid of death and waste. It's designed for that one purpose. And the sodomites are cheering on and praising the rectum. So this story comes from the

Joe My God blog. Joe My God. I love it. It's pretty funny. Pastor Kevin Swanson calls for executing gays at event attended by GOP candidates. That's not even the crazy part.

The second clip, Cecil, where he talks about covering himself in feces? Yeah, why don't we listen to it? I mean, this is him at his little rally. It's provided by Right Wing Watch via JoeMyGod blog, so let's play it. Sackcloth and ashes. I was thinking, you know, there are

parents, and this is not a funny thing, there are families who are talking Christian families, pastor's families, elder's families. I always marvel when you hear these guys and they have no voc effects

on their voice. Because they sound totally different you listen to rick wiles when he doesn't have that fucking deep voice aerator going on and then you listen to this guy they all sound very different they do like when they don't have the benefit of their hometown uh microphone advantage yeah and they found all fin and shit it's like what's happening here because you wouldn't recognize this guy's voice if you didn't know who he was. Oh, not by a fucking stretch, man. Not by a stretch.

In good godly churches, their sons are rebelling, hanging out with homosexuals and getting married. Wait a second. They're hanging out with homosexuals and getting married. So are they hanging out with homosexuals and then getting married to someone else? Hey, dude, let's hang out. I don't know. That sounds cool. But like, maybe we could totes get married while we're out here.

Yeah, all right. I want to really rebel against my dad so you can put your dick in my butt. I'm only going to do it if we invite our parents. Right. Yeah, that's kind of an elaborate rebellion. I remember when I was a teenager. It's a long con, man. Right? It's a long con.

Right? You've got to want it, dude. And that's actually true in this case. You have to literally want it. Because you were rebellious as a teenager. I was rebellious. Everybody's rebellious as a teenager. It's just part of being a teenager.

Yeah, but I wasn't cock in the mouth rebellious. Right. I mean, that's what I mean. You were like leather jacket and angry slogansans rebellious right yeah yeah you know i was like i was like long hair and surly attitude rebellious i was never like yeah i'll take a cock up my butt rebellious like because that's that's really some next level rebellious that is a good i mean that's a level of rebelliousness where you're just like, because you're doing that. No one even knows.

Yeah. You know, like that's that's all that's in the fucking mind. You're you're I would say you're mind fucking, but you're actually fucking. Man, that's dedication to the craft of rebellion. I admire. And the parents are invited. What would you do if that was the case? Here's what I would do. Sackcloth and ashes at the entrance to the church.

And I'd sit in cow manure. And I'd spread it all over my body. What would you do with those things? What? Wait a second. So what he's saying is, now that his son is out, he can come out with his cow poo fetish. He can finally be out as well. He's like, oh, man, now you'll be seen as the aberrant one.

Bring me a bath of cow feces. What a fucking idiot. Sackcloth and ashes. Where would you even buy sackcloth in 2015? Jo-Ann Fabrics. They have everything. All right, youann Fabrics. They have everything. You got me there. They have everything.

That's what I would do. And I'm not kidding. I'm not laughing. I'm grieving. I'm mourning. I'm pointing out the problem. It's not a gay time. These are the people with the sores, the gay thing sores.

The sores that are pussy and gross. What the fuck is he talking about? What is he? They're gross, too. They're gross, illy, yucky. They're super gross and yucky, and they have Mr. Yuck faces on them. They've got the little tongues like Mr. Yuck. With these gays.

I just want to play that again. Because I don't even know what he's on about. I'm grieving. I'm mourning. I'm pointing out the problem. It's not a gay time. These are the people with the sores. The gaping sores.

The sores that are pussy and gross. And people are coming in and carving happy faces on the sores. That's not a nice thing to do. Okay. So I just heard it twice, but it makes less sense the second time. It's so crazy. And it sounds like he's weeping. Hey, dude, you're not gay. You're not. Don't tell me he's weeping. I'm not gay.

You're not. Don't tell me that. I don't want to hear it. He's kind of awesome, man. Oh, my gosh. He's going to be sitting there fucking weeping his big fucking man tears in a pile of poo outside the front door. Carving his initials into people's sores. Don't you dare carve happy faces on open pussy sores. Don't you dare carve happy faces on open, puffy sores.

Don't you ever do that. Don't you ever do that. I tell you don't do it. What? What is he talking about? This guy's a fucking lunatic. He's lost his fucking mind. Where does he get invited to speak at?

I don't know. It's got to be a convention he put on nobody would invite this guy that was amazing sackcloth and ashes this is what america needs america needs to hear the message we are messed up someone is you are fucking messed up i i i've listened to a lot of things i mean i've listened to i've listened to yeah some really just off the wall shit by some people that have been hateful and weird and uh you know this fucking you remember that fucking covey lady yes the shit she fucking said when she was talking for jesus made more sense than why he just said that but the big good that what they got i got i

got i got jenny stuff that she was doing sounded so much better and you can't carve open sores into people because it's not nice yeah no you can't carve happy faces into people's open sores i i i can't i just i mean i i I kind of want to hear him say it again. Let's do it. Yeah, let me just play the crazy part, which is most of it. I'm grieving. I'm mourning. I'm pointing out the problem.

It's not a gay time. These are the people with the sores, the gaping sores. The sores that are pussy And gross And people coming in and carving happy faces On the sores That's not a nice thing to do Don't you dare

Carve happy faces On open pussy sores Don't you ever do that Don't you ever do that Don't you ever do it I don't you ever do that. Don't you ever do it. Don't you ever do it. I don't have anything to say about it. It's awesome.

Like, it's so fucking crazy. It's so weird. I'm just fucking, I mean, just like fucking mouth agape staring at my computer. I don't know what to do with that. Don't even do it. Don't carve on my sores. Don't carve on my sores. It's not a nice thing to do.

We're not fucking jack-o'-lanterns, dude. Carving happy faces. It's so weird. I carved one with tree teeth. Such a fucking goober. What a fucking giant goober. And was he crying, Cecil? You got to see. Was to see was he crying he doesn't look like he's crying he looks like he's pretending to cry like he's making fun of it i guess i can't tell what he's doing it's first off it's a tiny clip right so it's not like

enough to really get a good taste of what he's talking about i mean you understand what he's saying when he's saying uh you know we should be in mourning that these people are have getting married in a church and they're asking for you know holy people to show up right i understand that part that's the beginning part it's easy that's easy but then when he fucking he fucking jumps the goddamn shark at the end i don't know what the fuck he's talking about dude this is a guy who's talking non-metaphorically about covering himself in actual cow shit yeah and cow poop i would like to read just a few comments from the million moms facebook page this is on their page and not that there's anyone counting but um for a group that calls themselves the million moms they only have 40 000 members on

their page so they're rounding to the nearest million, and I get that. All right, this story comes from the Washington Post. Maryland family faces harsh criticism after daughter is featured in American Girl magazine. So America's still fucked. The parents of an 11-year-old girl in Montgomery County, Maryland,

got all kinds of criticism after a girls' magazine, American Girls magazine, featured their family, their daughter, their family, as part of the charity work. So this is a family that's comprised of two dudes, two gay dudes, who have adopted four children. And the criticism is like, well, but they're gay! It's like, never mind that they gave homes to four children that didn't have homes. The fact that they're gay all of a sudden

got the fucking one million moms involved, which is basically like fucking six moms. That's what it is. It's fucking six moms. In it, the girl promotes a charity one of her dads started years ago called Comfort Cases, which provides backpacks filled with pajamas, toothbrushes, blankets, stuffed animals, and other items for foster kids. The group has gone from providing 300 kits in 2013 to donate it to 7,000 kids in the

District of Maryland andia foster care systems last year what a dick are you fucking kidding me like here's a fucking family that is doing good works hat that like looks like a totally functional family and you're gonna get your fucking knickers in a fucking twist over the fact that it's a it's a gay couple right having solved all the rest of the world's problems no kidding right like the one million moms are one of those outrage groups right oh they're just one of those groups that exists for no reason except for just to just to spread and antagonize this false sense of quasi-moral outrage. And they couldn't be a fucking less relevant or less interesting or less introspective

or less intelligent group of people. You've got, like, who cares what these dudes, I don't give a fuck if these dudes like to stick their dicks in electric sockets. Like, they're donating shit to foster kids and raising uh orphans as their own and expanding opening up their hearts and their homes and their family to bring in people who have no other options you read this story and it's like you know they're talking about like kids like fucking foster kids who carry around their belongings from home to home in garbage bags in garbage bags cecil and these are people who have said like we're going to make it basically our life's mission as a as a couple

we're going to make it our life's mission to to practice what we preach and to open our hearts in our homes and you've got this fucking group of fucking supposed like moral crusaders like i was fucking kids would be better off in a foster home than a home with two dads that would they should have no dads like that's an awful way to think about the world yeah you'd rather that they live in a group home than with these two people that's what you're saying when you say they shouldn't be focusing on these people and they shouldn't be have these people in a magazine. Right. You know, your fucking shitty kid is going to learn about gay people.

Eventually, you fucking twats, your fucking shitty kid is going to learn about it. So fucking get over it already. Yep. Because, you know, you can't just because you can't shelter your kid from the fact that fucking gay people exist isn't anybody else's fucking problem what if you had a kid i mean put yourself in their position for a minute what if you were hateful i gotta cut out half my brain but what if you were you know a hate-filled bigot and you stopped going through like kkk monthly or whatever it is that you were reading earlier. And you opened up your American Girl magazine.

And there you saw kids who had a better life and a better future than they otherwise would have. You could accidentally raise tolerant kids. No, because they would have a full-on subscription to KKK Kids. Okay. All right. As long as they've got that. That's a great coloring book. You can only color in white.

But it's a great coloring book. You can only color in white, but it's a great coloring book. You've got to burn the pages on the front lawn of Black Kids when you're done. Oh, God. Podcasters. They live in squalor, destitute, and disenfranchised, They live in squalor, destitute and disenfranchised, eking out an existence as best they can in such desolate places as Chicago. In pairs, but otherwise alone, they suffer from hunger and thirst,

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worth living. So Cecil, this story has been kind of all over the places from MSN. Christian Evangelicals upset with Starbucks red cups. So Starbucks came out with its holiday cups and they're red. out with its holiday cups and they're red uh-huh and that's pretty much the whole story except for people are writing like arizona pastor uh joshua fuerstein uh in a facebook post with eight million views he wrote starbucks removed christmas from their cups because they hate jesus uh so this is this is just like one of those you know war and this is gonna start right because now that halloween is over yeah and now it's christmas season secular season it's it's it's the two months of christmas season that's here that we

all have to fucking tolerate for the next fucking 60 days it's two months of christmas and uh the christians are gonna get all fucking worked up bill o'reilly is sure to get his fucking panties in a twist and and the first blow the first salvo against christmas has been fired evidently by starbucks because they don't have like a crucified jesus hanging out of every latte or something it's just a fucking red cup they're not required by anyone to decide to make a fucking christmas statement like that's the thing that like what they don't understand that what the people who are like believe in this war on christmas thing is is that they can somehow have christmas stuff on public lands whenever they want right they can they right? They can just

wave their hand and be like, no, man, we should be able to fucking, like, have a fucking crucified Jesus up there during Easter, and we should be able to have fucking little Jesus in the manger with all his wise men and fucking Mary giving virgin birth or whatever right in the fucking manger

on Christmas. We should have this all the time. No, it's it's a it's a it's a public space right you're not allowed to do that because that's favoring one religion they don't get that they also don't get that as a company you're allowed to do fucking design whatever design you want for your goddamn cups you don't have to have fucking if your christmas cup is just red or just as a santa hat or it just says fucking merry xmas who gives a shit it's your cup you get to make your own decisions do you think they would have been as fucking outraged if the cup was still just a regular white cup if they had not made any holiday themed change because it seems like what they get fucking

butthurt about is that it's not that no change was made right what they're mad about is that change was made that's a holiday neutral sort of a change right like oh we changed it to the holiday cup it's a red cup and they're fucking bent on a shape about a fucking disposable you're gonna throw it in the garbage it's a disposable cup it's garbage if it was a fucking sacred cup it's not a fucking it's not the holy grail it's not like it's not like somebody redecorated a fucking chalice at your local church it is a disposable cup but do you think they would be as worked up if starbucks just didn't do anything yeah absolutely white cups absolutely i think they would be because i think that what they would say if starbucks didn't change their cops between now and the end of there they would say they got bit rid of their christmas cups all together

they're not celebrating christmas at all they're fucking some sort of pagan awful institution that doesn't celebrate solstices that we stole from other cultures of all the things in the world to get worked up about these fucking twats are worked up over. They took a fucking Christmas tree off of a fucking cup. Yeah. This is what we're worked up about. And you were talking about it earlier. Like, you know, there's still homeless people.

Yeah. There's homeless people right outside of Starbucks. Like right now. So while you're fucking, you're pulling your underwear out of your ass about fucking whether or not there's a christmas tree take the money you would have given to starbucks for your fucking five dollar latte and buy a food for the homeless guy right right yeah i i gotta tell you and you know this i consume a vast amount of starbucks coffee i consume a ridiculous painful amount and i'm an atheist should i be offended that they celebrate Christmas? Should I be like, fuck that?

Starbucks seems like in a no-win situation. They're celebrating Christmas, but they're celebrating it weak sauce. So they can't get the fucking Christians on their side, and they can't get the atheists on their side. The only people they can get is the wishy-washy spiritual fuckwits out there. Here's what they've got on their side, though. Coffee, which is addictive. Right? So people are still going to go to Starbucks.

Starbucks knows it. Right? They're like, we're selling a literally addictive product. We sell an addictive product through a goddamn drive-thru, motherfucker. Our cups could be fucking filled with devil heads and pentagrams. You could finish your cup, there could be a fucking dead mouse at the bottom. You'll be here tomorrow, motherfucker.

You will pick the mouse up and suck it like a teabag. It's like, who are you crapping? Where the fuck else are you going to go? You're going to go to the other major fucking coffee chain that's on every street corner with a goddamn drive-thru that doesn't exist anywhere else in America? No, I didn't fucking think so.

Welcome back. Here's your fucking pentagram cup, motherfucker. Extra mice, please. Extra mice. I'll take two pumps, two mice. You roll up to the drive-thru and you're like uh i'd like a creme brulee latte no mice you get mice no mice you get two mice now keep trying motherfucker okay two mice three mice for you yeah uh no foam four mice can i get? Can I get that with soy milk?

Fucking 12 mice. It's a cup of mice now. Drive through. Okay, I'll do it. Can I get it in a double cup instead of one of those wrappers? Can you put an ice cube on the mice? It's too hot when I first did it. It makes it so they wriggle around less.

Can you at least put them in a bag and stomp on them first? This story comes from KingFM.com. It has nothing to do with anything, but it's funny. Wyoming has gonorrhea billboards. So, you know, I would have said previously that Wyoming is one of those states that you sort of are not sure. Like, maybe that's a city, you know, like, you're like, I don't know. Is Wyoming Wyoming is it? It's like, you know, it's like the female orgasm.

I've read about it in books, but I'm not sure it exists. See, we'll talk about it. They talk a real good game about it, but I'm not sure it's actually real. Probably not. I'm just going to decide that's not a real thing. There's a lot less pressure. So the Wyoming Department of Health launched a billboard campaign this month, which has put Wyoming on the map, Cecil.

And it's just giant billboards. Wyoming has gonorrhea. I like that the O in Wyoming is like a buffalo. Yeah, right? Because somebody's like, oh, man, I was fucking a buffalo earlier. God damn it. Did that buffalo give me gonorrhea? Motherfucker.

You can't even fuck a buffalo on the open range anymore. What's happened with America? I love this shit. I would love to ride around Wyoming with fucking giant gorgonaria shit. It's fucking amazing. It's just STD prevention, but it's a really weird way to raise awareness it's super strange i mean they're trying to say you know what's funny is it says like wyoming here's what's funny about the message to me too wyoming has gonorrhea do you get a free hiv std test at

no no yo.org no you no yo it looks like no yo yeah is that like No you, no yo. It looks like no yo. Yeah. Is that like YOLO, but no yo? Well, fuck it, YOLO. Hey, you only got a real once. Unless maybe you do it again. What's great about the iPhone is that if you want to check snow conditions on the mountain, there's an app for that. So this story is just delightfully goofy as well. This is from motherboardvice.com.

So there is an app. It's a $10 paid app. Cecil, what's the most expensive app you've ever bought? I almost bought a $30 app. Really? What was it? It's for film like when you're doing film it it uh tells you like what aperture and things like it's basically an aperture calculator really so but it's it's like it's it's like a really useful app but i didn't buy it like i saw

it and i was like and everybody's in the industry recommends it but I didn't get it. What is the most expensive app you actually pulled the trigger on? I think a $3 app. Fucking high roller. I think the most I've ever spent was $7.99 on a keyboard app, actually, which is now free, incidentally. A keyboard? Like a musical keyboard? No, it's called SwiftKey. And I bought it several years ago because

i got into the android phones i see what you're saying yeah it's not one that you could just drag your finger across if you're like a zombie you don't have to pick your finger up no this one is like a predictive text but it's a it's a particularly good predictive text unlike most of the predictive text hold on does it say ducking no because it does not do ducking ever no no here's the thing about the swift i actually love the swift key app the swift key app knows how i write like it pays attention to what i write i like if i type in my address i type i type a two and it suggests the rest of my address so i can type my whole address in like three clicks the whole the whole thing it knows that i know does it know you

swear a lot yeah it knows i swear a lot so it suggests fucking or shit or whatever i'm gonna use all the time yes every time i write on my iphone it constantly is like you sure you don't want to say ducking like i've never wanted to say ducking right like unless i was talking about fucking editing audio that's the only time and i never text anybody about editing audio. That's the only time. And I never text anybody about editing audio. No, like, so I bought, that's the only app I've ever paid money for. I paid $8 for it. This is a $10 app. It's a lucky cactus app.

It's fucking $10. And here's what you do. It is now number one on the iTunes top 100 paid apps. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. And here's what you apps. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. And here's what you do. You see a cactus. It's a shitty looking fucking lousy image of a cactus.

It's not even a very good looking image. You tap on your screen where the cactus is at. And then maybe you get good luck. That's literally the whole thing. How do you know? Well, if you had good luck,'s literally the whole thing how do you know well if you had good luck then it worked and then i don't know it doesn't give users specific directions beyond tap the cactus for potential good luck you paid ten dollars if i pay ten dollars i don't want potential good luck i want actual good luck i already potentially have good luck this is don't want potential good luck i want actual good luck i already potentially have good luck this is

don't i it's fucking free i think they're missing the boat on this they should have charged ten dollars and then every time you tap it it's an in-app purchase see there you go that would instead of the upfront cost yeah so that way you're like i could really use some luck and i'm a gullible twat who the fuck buys this who is like ten dollars well i have more money than i have fucking brains i'll use this fucking thing ten fucking dollars for an i can't think an app would have to give me a fucking weekly blow job for me to spend fucking $10 on it. My phone's keys are sticking together. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. This story is just fucked up, man.

Speaking of launching things. Right? This story's from L.A. Times. Lamb sacrifice. This is so from L.A. Times. Lamb sacrifice. This is so fucked up. I'm sorry, but the picture. Just imagine that dude. I'm such a terrible person. You really are pretty awful.

Lamb sacrifice performed. You really are pretty awful. Lamb sacrifice performed. That's like a lamb sacrifice performed for man days before he was ejected onto a freeway sign. So this family does a fucking magic ritual where they kill this fucking lamb. Whoever they didn't have a lucky cactus to save him. And neither did this fucking young man because nothing could spare him. Evidently, neither the deaths of lambs nor the tapping of a cactus. Nor seatbelts.

nor seatbelts because when it's time to go this fucking guy this fucking guy uh was driving his car he finally crashed his car he crashed his car with such vigor and alacrity Then he shot out of the car and got stuck on a freeway sign. And they had to get a fire truck with one of those big ladders. It's like Babe Ruth pointing to the outer bleachers. It's like fucking putting it on fucking, what is it, Waveland Avenue behind the Cubs stadium. It says here, it says that they hoped the offering of lamb would provide some protection. I eat so much gyro meat, I'm practically fucking invulnerable. I know, right?

You could drop me into the sun with as much Euromedia as I need. Well, to be fair, that's because you would render for the first five minutes. Here's what's so amazing also about this story. I don't know if you caught this part, but this dude was driving to his new job at the Glendale Collision Center. collision center so it could be argued that he arrived early they say to be early on your first day you it is amazing to get ejected out of your car you know and the thing is he wasn't in like a fucking lamborghini he was in a ford fiesta right i mean that's the thing like how fast are you going like were you were you were you like doing one of those like fucking like a ferris bueller or something where you're like poking your head out the moon roof or something go like 100 miles an hour with like a brick on the accelerator with your fucking head out of the moon how does that even happen to catapult you out of the car to where you're on the fucking freeway sign look at

the fucking picture cecil oh yeah it's up there dude it's got to be 25 feet up there i don't think that would be an exaggeration to say that's 25 feet you know what's gonna suck is you know how they normally throw the wreaths where the person dies on the side of the road? The family's going to have to play ring toss every time they come by to throw the wreath up there. Miss, miss, miss. It's like, this is the worst carnival game I've ever played.

You know, Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. And it is in a way, it is slavery in a way, because it is making all of us subservient. So this story comes from the Raw story. Twitter invents hilarious hashtag Ben Carson Wikipedia facts to mock candidates' battle with reality. There's some really good ones in here. You know, it's funny because a lot of these, like, this is just a funny article full of all this goofy shit. So what Ben Carson said was that Joseph, an Old Testament figure, created the pyramids. Now, we talked about this with Ishmael earlier, and they were used to store grain.

That's what he said, and a bunch of people were like, none of that – like literally none of that is true. None of that makes any sense. And so there was a bunch of people that posted Ben Carson Wikipedia facts. I'm going to read a couple of these because these are so funny. Erica Hall says, Roombas are cyborg anchor babies. That's crazy. Ben Carson Wikipedia. This one, Berlin Wall was erected because of great popularity of racquetball in Germany.

That's just my favorite. Mike says, a pony must eat 57 apples before it becomes a horse. The one I like, too, is the square root of any number is always four because a square has four sides i think

that's great did you see that the memes that are popping up the ben carson memes now that are popping up are actually pretty awesome well there's one that has a picture of stonehenge have you seen this one and it says uh it says something like uh it was actually a dog park created by noah after the flood that's awesome. It's pretty great. They're all over the place, man. I'm waiting for his best way to stop a gunman one. I wonder if there's a best way to stop a gunman is to rush them and rub their belly until they fall asleep. Went on this sideboard here for Raw Stories with Ben Carson.

My biography isn't 100% accurate accurate but none of the things are lies that's not how you true he's great he is great he's uh he's somebody who i hope sticks around because he's he's like sarah palin oh he's so funny did you see he's all butthurt he's saying like uh well they didn't he said something like like, well, geez, they didn't rub Obama across the coals the same way, fact-checking everything. And he specifically alludes to Reverend Wright and Ayers. And he's like, well, they didn't give him a hard time about those things. It's like, they gave him such a hard time. No, they didn't give him anything about reverend right and they said they said that he wasn't they said that he wasn't even

an american citizen yeah they like didn't believe that he was an american citizen they talk about his middle name as if he's a terrorist they say he's not a christian when he said he's a christian they talked about reverend right and how he's a little too black for the American public. They talked about fucking Bill Ayers. They would never stop talking about that over and over and over again. They talked about that shit. Like, you know, look, man, this is what it's going to be, dude. Here's the thing. You fucking threw your name in there, right?

What did you expect? You got to expect people are going to be like fact checking literally everything you said. Right. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

This story comes from the raw story. Nevada Republican with quack cancer is a fungus cure loses health care business license. Find it astonishing that this person ever had a health care business license. I find it astonishing that this person ever had a health care business license. Republican Assemblywoman Michelle Fiore's home-based, always-there, number-four-you health care company has been shut down after she refused to allow inspectors to look at her books, even though she got $6 million in Medicaid funding. And this is the same person who basically says, this is a quote, if you have cancer, which I believe is a fungus.

That's enough. You're done listening already. and she says and we can put a pick line into your body and we're flushing with say salt water sodium cardinate through that line and flushing out the fungus she's been doing this for she was she's gotten six million dollars in medicaid funding over a five-year period that's a lot of money that's a fucking over a million dollars a year right that's a lot of money. That's a fucking over a million dollars a year. Right. That's a lot of money, man. It's not like fucking six million dollars in the entire career. And she's been like 20, 30 years or something. You know, even still, that's a lot of money, but it's not like the same level. When you say a five year period, this person's been fucking, you know, saying that cancer is a fungus.

Cancer is a fun. Well, you know, here's the thing. It sounds bad, Cecil, but it's six million dollars. Salt water and sodium cardinate do not come cheaply. Sodium cardinate. Is cardinate a thing?

It's not a thing. No, it's not a thing. And cancer's not a fungus. What fungus is cancer? It's the fungus of portabella. Yeah. It's like a shiitake. Oh, my God. Sir, I'm so sorry to tell you.

You've got shiitake of the lymph nodes. Oh, Jesus. Last year, I had morels of the pancreas. Gosh, I just can't catch a break. I'm touching my cactus app. That's terrible. Sacrificed a lamb earlier, too. That's how you end up on a freeway sign i sacrificed a lamb and i ate it with some nice morels it was actually very nice so we're back with ishmael brown from angry black rant ishmael uh if people have never

heard your show could you give them a little a little taste tell them what your show's about uh my show is cog, but the black version. Like, if you guys are Dracula, I'm Blackula. Or Blackenstein. Or the black of Bloat Your Blade. You're like a Blaxploitation fucking version of Cognitive Dissonance. That's awesome. No, but seriously. No, but it's basically uh news i cover news and i

cover certain topics that just have to do with uh social issues and we try to make it funny the first half is usually news and then the second half is um a topic that we need to cover or that where you want to cover regarding like you know race or sexism or something like that um but yeah it's it's basically uh a lot of fun a lot of seriousness while trying to make it entertaining so your show is angry black rant but i i can't understand everything is going swimmingly for the black community and if i read reddit yeah uh you know and if i go through the comments on reddit the most maligned group in america today is the white male. Absolutely.

That's what the comment section of Reddit would have me believe in, since I think that that's a genuine cross-section of America. No, I totally agree. I could have called my show Playing the Race Card. How many episodes do you have now? How many many episodes you 15 we're about to put up our 16th tomorrow 15 hold on a second i read from fox news that you only have five but you were awarded 10 from affirmative action exactly i gotta cut that out of the show that's mean no you know what are you talking, you better not cut that shit out. So, okay. So, so do you have guests on? Do you talk to your,

do you talk to different people? Is it, is it the same person every week? Yeah. Well, right now I kind of have like a rotating host. I've had like, I've been going through finding a host and right now I have this woman named Kim. So she kind of comes on and she's my partner. And we just go over the news and go over topics. So I started off with guests, the interview part. And I'll probably get back into that.

But I think I'll do that as like a separate kind of bonus show if I do it. Because it kind of slows it down. So right now it's just covering news, me and someone else, and talking about certain things. So it's just two people going back and forth and having fun while covering serious topics. So no rotating guests at the moment. So what made you want to get into podcasting? I mean, did you think that you were unrepresented by people like Cognitive Dissonance, two white guys? You know, it's funny. When I wanted to get into it. I wasn't thinking about it as far as race or like, oh, my voice isn't out there, even though, you know, obviously the atheist movement and even podcasting lacks, you know, diversity. But I just for me, because I came out to L.A. from the East Coast and while I was out here, I became an atheist.

Like it just happened like within six months of someone asking me to just, why don't you just look at your religion? And you know, for a while being African-American and being an atheist and being in a new city, it's, it's pretty lonely. And, um, so, and then some girl just put me onto your podcast. It was actually, your podcast was the first one a couple of years ago. She was like, oh, this is kind of funny. You should check it out. Kind of funny. Hilarious. I didn't find that.

And I was fucking hooked. And I went, you know, I literally I listened to your show and then I listened to any show of guests you had on. And I ended up listening to your show like twice or three times just over and over and then I'd move around and I found it just kind of lit a fire under me and I wanted to get into the atheist movement and then I went to um atheist meetup that's out here in Los Angeles and the thing that sucks is if you're in a liberal city there's not much of a uh you know there's not a lot of energy for atheism as opposed I assume if you're in like some conservative part of the country. Sure. Yeah. There's not as much to mobilize, right?

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There's there's no reason, especially in L.A., where it's all woo, like they're all astrology and fucking anti-vax and others and shit like that. So so I was feeling this real like camaraderie and like it just felt like a family with podcasts like i'd write in um i wrote into you guys i called into uh atheists on air and then i went to this meetup and i found like these racist libertarians who this one dude literally wanted to be this or didn't want to be he was like i don't see why i can't call you a negro wasn't that okay with you guys before and i'm like wait wait, where am I? What the fuck? Where did you go? You said fucking L.A., motherfucker. Exactly. What is happening?

He was some old asshole. He was some asshole in his 50s. And we were having a conversation about why he shouldn't call me a Negro. And I just realized, what the fuck am I even doing here? This is supposed to be where I shape and feel like family. That shows you, I think, in a lot of you i think in a lot of ways that in a lot of ways atheism is not a fucking organizing feature right you know it's like it's like yeah you could be an atheist but you could also fucking think aliens are a thing yep or you could think

that fucking you know uh calling somebody a fucking negro is a good idea fucking. 1920s? What the fuck? Yeah. I love the idea that somebody would try to argue you into being called a Negro. Yeah. I'd be like, somebody coming up to me like, well, I would like to fuck your wife. I'd be like, no, that's totally, that's not going to happen. Well, what about if I presented the following argument? I'd be like, man, I'll argument? I will face fuck your argument. I have a detailed PowerPoint.

Are you kidding me? Well, it used to be. No, it was never okay with me. To me, it was like he was saying, I really want you to punch me in the face. I'm going to argue you knocking me the fuck out for as long as I can until it happens. We run into atheists all the time that will say some shit and I'll just be like, man, we are on fucking totally different pages. Like whereas I feel like I would I would have so much more in common with somebody who is a very liberal Christian than I would if somebody was, you know, say, like you say, a libertarian atheist. Yeah. Yeah. And and I just want to say I probably shouldn't even say this, but not a libertarian atheist yeah yeah and and and i just want to uh say i

probably shouldn't even say this but not all libertarians are assholes i don't know why people always say that like you tell some story about a black guy and they go not all black people are like okay yeah no but because i have some libertarian friends but yeah this guy just happened to be a libertarian i have one black friend yeah so it's cool man i got it my sister married a libertarian so i'm cool but but yeah i mean i slept with a libertarian but um but no you're right about the atheismism thing. And I'm in a few Facebook groups. And of course, online, anything.

I love how they paint atheists as assholes. But I think anyone online, any group online is a bunch of assholes for the most part. But I learned that skepticism is really the thing more than atheism. Because like you said, if they're a skeptic who just happens to still have that indoctrination and Christianity and theyianity and they're liberal they're more they you probably agree with them on more than just some atheists who still believes in aliens or believes in uh astrology and anti-vax shit like that yeah or who's a sexist or a racist or whatever exactly they're just like well i'll examine this one

aspect of my life but i'll examine this one aspect of my life, but I'll leave the other parts of my life. Yeah. Because, you know, the thing is, sexism and racism, those things are as indoctrinated as religion. And if you've been indoctrinated into a sexist or racist culture,

the only way for you to break out of that is similar to the way that you, you know, break out of religious indoctrination. It really takes a hard examination that can often be very uncomfortable for people to go through and it's a process it's not like most people are going to wake up one day and be like well i guess i'm not racist now yeah oh that was real weird especially in america where your racism is supported you, like it because if you ignore the institutional issues that's going on in the country, you'll say, but why can't I look

at black people this way? Look, the majority of them are poor and a lot of them commit crimes, so you got to really take some looking at it from the outside and saying, OK, let's look at the bigger picture and why these things are going on. Yeah. I wonder how much of that too has to do with like the ridiculous strain of anti-intellectualism in America because the ability and willingness and desire to do that in a meaningful way and to look beyond just the surface issues and look at deeper causes and root causes, that really does take some intellectual drive and a respect for intellectualism. It's also really difficult to tackle systemic problems, right? That's a hard thing to do. It's not a thing that is easy and you could just say, well, I've done that and wipe your hands of it.

I mean, there's so many deep problems that you have to, that are interconnected systems that have to be changed in order for the whole thing to sort of rise up and you can't there's nothing you can do just one thing to say well we threw money at that one thing and now it's all fixed and it's that that's what people expect and it's real hard to change systemic problems and people don't want to talk about shit like that they just want to be able to be like well there's our villain guys so i'm curious about your experience as a as a uh a black atheist. How does that affect your local community and how you stand within your local community with your friends, your family?

Because that puts you in a minority within a minority, right? Yeah. And my entire family, I grew up Pentecostal, and my family are deep believers. My sister, she believes the Bible literally, and about like uh Noah being 900 years old type shit do they speak in tongues the Pentecostal yes yes they speak in tongues flop on the floor like fucking fishes yeah you're just holding back your floor flopping tendencies like you're just like you're like because because for them right it would have to have to be like well I'm flopping tendencies like you're just like you're like because because for them right it would have to have to be like well i'm flopping on the floor for jesus like i feel floppy yeah

is there an assumption that you feel floppy too but you're just like holding in the flop yeah um well i i've never spoken tongue so i guess i've been holding in the flop a lot you know i run into a lot of atheists who seem to have more negative experiences, especially when dating black atheists, especially when dating. But I honestly think it's because there's no I don't hide my atheism. I actually find I make Christians more embarrassed in there because I'm willing to talk about the Bible. I'm willing to talk about the absurdity of it. So I meet a lot of people who just try to say, oh, I'm not religious. I'm spiritual. So so my experience hasn't been that negative. I mean, it is with close friends, meaning I have a small amount of close friends. But but on a day to day basis, no, I don't.

It doesn't feel like an obstacle to me, but maybe because a lot of my community is online and it's not, it's not like, uh, you know, within, I'm kind of like a homebody recently. So I don't, you know, I'm not going out looking for funds and being rejected or anything like that. How does your, how does your family, does your family know you have this podcast? Uh, yeah. I mean, they don't talk to me about it.

I post it on my Facebook. I post everything. Like I post this day. mean, they don't talk to me about it. I post it on my Facebook. I post everything. Like, I post this thing. I don't mind being a black sheep. In your community, isn't that just sheep? Wah, wah, wah. You deserve every bit of that wah, wah. That's awesome.

I had to do it. I'm sorry. I did have to derail the train for that joke, but I needed to. Doesn't that make you the sheep with good credit? Isn't that make you the sheep with good credit this is my favorite conversation ever oh really you like to get all the racism that you have at the end you're gonna be like can can can i say the n-word just is it cool i'm gonna ask you in like two minutes. Dude, I wanted to say it one time, just once. Well, as a libertarian, I feel like.

Well, our Negro guest, what do you think about it? In preparation for the show, we're in blackness. You can't tell because it's on radio, but we just felt like. That's awesome. That's the worst thing. God damn. That's amazing. because it's on radio but we just felt like oh that's awesome god damn amazing you guys are like okay let's not get too drunk because i gotta keep those uh that filter on i don't want to get too loose around this guy um but but real quick with my family i mean as far as my family yeah they but they're like afraid to talk to me about it because i was so religious i'm willing to talk to them

about how stupid their religion is yeah and because i'm not necessarily close to them whoever disowns me i don't give a fuck really like i like i post a meme a couple weeks ago that was basically saying um it had a picture of jesus with open arms and it said um welcome to heaven your rapist is here because they because they believe in me too and i had cousin like, what the fuck is this bullshit? And I was like, what do you mean? Is that wrong? Can Rapist not be in heaven? And he didn't reply because it's like, what's your fucking problem?

Rapist is here, too. Oh, Jesus. His two doors down. He's in a house of gold just like you that's awesome so i want to ask uh you know very often very vanilla white uh folks like us will make comments like comparing the plight of gay people to the plight of black people during the civil rights movement. We do this a lot. It's a very common threat. Like what do you think about that?

Yeah, I see that a lot. And a lot of times they'll say, well, if it was a black it's you are trying to take away someone's civil liberties for something that, you know, they didn't choose. It's straight discrimination. So I get the reason why. I also get why black people in some ways feel, you know, some may feel like. It's not fair to do that because of the history in this country from slavery, from lynching to things like that. But I think in present day, I can't think of anything that better describes what the gay community is going through.

I mean, it's discrimination. It's, and I don't like doing a whole, Oh, it's worse. You know, it's,

yeah, we get it worse than you and you, it's like, it's, it's wrong. And let's just focus on that. But I, I remember I was out here when prop eight happened. And I remember I work in the film industry and, you know, the black community voted heavy against it. And I remember a lot of gay people were saying, you know, we're so disappointed in the black community. You know, we've been there for them. And I don't know how true that is you know i don't know like because i know you know in the industry

uh white gay people who they're not civil rights activists or anything like that i found it weird but in the end i said whether you were you weren't to me that doesn't matter the reason why the black community voted against it was religion yeah plain and simple it's because they're very were a very religious community yeah it'd be like saying like well where did the mormons vote like well what did you what did you think they were gonna be like exactly that's also a minority community they weren't gonna vote put it in my butt that's the one thing that they weren't gonna vote for yeah so you you said you read you like you know the bible backwards and forwards then huh pretty good yeah i know it pretty well i mean i'd probably learn more about it after i left You said you read, like, you know the Bible backwards and forwards then, huh? Pretty good, yeah.

I know it pretty well. I mean, I'd probably learn more about it after I left the religion or when I started to finally look at it. And I just, I mean, the way the Pentecostals, I got lucky because they taught the Bible totally wrong. And I run into black people who think, like, the Bible was the first book ever and just stuff you can easily find out. When they tell you dumb lies like that. When you go and find out, like, wait, no, it's not. And who's even fucking saying it is like this is a stupid shit. Why would they tell us that?

You know, and it's like in the way they taught us the story of Jesus, they taught it wrong. This was the reason why I became atheist, because they made it seem like he just was always there. And then when I looked at it and I'm like, wait jews had this religion they believed in a god and then some dude fucking shows up and is like new rules now you have to believe you can only go through me and if you don't fucking go through me i'm gonna burn you in hell something you guys weren't fucking believing in anyway and it just was like wait this is clearly bullshit like. It would make more sense to me to be Jewish than to be Christian. Fucking Jesus was the David Koresh of his time. Exactly.

That's how I started looking at him, like some cult leader. He was an end times rabbi who came on and said he was God. But he also said you can't worship the God he used to worship for hundreds of years anymore. You have to worship. You can only get to heaven through worshiping him. And that to me just was like, okay, this is stupid. Why would God change the rules like that? Just like...

So Ishmael, if people were going to find your podcast, where would they look? The regular places, iTunes, Stitcher, places like that. Or you can go to my website, angryblackrent.com or Facebook slash Angry Blackrent, the usual places. Awesome. Thanks for joining us today, Ishmael. It was a lot of fun.

Yeah, this was great. Cool, man. Thanks for having me on. It was a blast. I loved it. So we'd like to thank our most recent patrons, Michelle, Troy, Jason, James, Larry, Garrett, Janet, Gil, Michael, and Jeremy. Thank you very much for your generous donations. We actually recorded our own very first patron show for patrons this last week.

We posted it on Sunday. So far, it's been getting some really good feedback. We did a whole Jim Baker episode, and people seemed to really like it. It was about an hour and a half worth of stuff, and it turned out very good. So we want to thank all our patrons, and we hope that you enjoyed the show, and you'll be getting quarterly shows now because we wound up reaching that milestone. So we want to thank you also very much. It's great.

And we're in contact too. It looks like we're going to be, there's going to be a broadcast-a-thon coming up with David Smalley, and we're going to be part of that. So we're going to be donating some money specifically based on that appearance. And we'll let you know more details as that comes, as that solidifies.

I believe he prefers to refer to that as a podcast-a-thon, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, is it a podcast? I thought it was a broadcast-a-thon. Yeah, a podcast-a-thon. Broadcast-a-thon, right? Podcast-a-thon. Oh, okay. I think I'm mispronouncing it.

Broadcast-a-thon? Is that what it is? Anyway, thank you very much. We really do appreciate all the patrons. So we only have a couple of emails. The first one, um, this one,

uh, is actually based on the Patreon, uh, show we did. We did a Jim Baker. There was a, the CERN is the tower of Babel, the new tower of Babel.

And someone, Emily sent in a message. Um, it's got a, it's got a, uh, an image on it. And it says,

if God was pissed about the tower of Babel, how does he feel about the space station that's super great why i never thought y'all were gonna build it i think it's great i think it's so funny so thanks for sending that in we were featured on a uh read this thing uh blog uh we wound up uh being one of the top podcasts on the cultural section for this blog post that lists a ton of great shows. We just happen

to be a part of the cultural section. We're near the bottom. That's alright. I'll take it. But they listed us there. So we'll put a link to this particular blog post on this episode's show notes. This is episode 260. And you can check out all the other podcasts that are listed.

So last week we talked about Jesus and Rambo. And, you know, there's some resemblances. But Marcus has a message for us and a couple of images. Tom is a spot on, gentlemen. The resemblance betwixt Rambo and Jesus is nothing short of design. There are no coincidences. The story of Rambo is actually based on a 1965 covert mission in which Jesus was to fly over the Vietnam jungle in an effort to exercise any demons that may be residing within, thus making it safe for American troops to invade.

Incidentally, the story is also where the Italian priest derived inspiration for his harrowing repent from above mission. This single photograph is the only surviving record of our savior's heroic efforts. Yes, I know there are technically two photographs but i felt the implication sounded more serious when referred to singularly glory hole and it's

true there was a little more grave but there is actually two photographs so i'm going to put both of these images these images will be uh will be the images for this show. So check them out. Episode 260. They're just amazing. I like the color one because Jesus looks sort of vaguely confused as to why he's holding that machine gun. We got a message from Andrew in Massachusetts, and it looks like he updated the Reddit thread again with lists of all of our guest guest appearances so if you're interested in our guest appearances episode 260 um you can find a list of all those on reddit it goes it links to our well water drinkers reddit there and uh it's just great i mean i think it's it's a lot of work and it's awesome it's super useful so thank you very much and it's so nice of you to do that work to

take that on um we really appreciate it thank you very much got a message And it's so nice of you to do that work, to take that on. We really appreciate it. Thank you very much. Got a message from Jessica, and she's like, Hey, guys, I just started listening to the latest episode, and as soon as you said exorcism via helicopter, I thought, I bet this is Father Vince. This has got to be fucking Father Vince Lampert. And no surprise, I was right.

He officiated my wedding five years ago and was extremely Catholic, and my extremely Catholic family had him over for dinner many times. He has almost a cult following the church in surrounding cities. My dad literally has a poster of him wearing all black, looking like something from the Matrix. He talks about his travels and his exercises. Exercisms, I think, is what you're looking for. I love that. I like like exercise not sure if that's the correct term so uh wow did father lampert uh did he officiate your wedding via helicopter

because that's pretty awesome if he did that would be awesome if he cast the devils out like in the middle like if the fucking intermission instead of the peace be with you part like yeah yeah rolls out and he's like devil be gone and like you have to rappel down during the peace be with you part yeah yeah rolls out and he's like devil be gone and like you have to rappel down during the peace be with you part it's just like i just that would be there should be nothing but repelling the entire way the bride and groom should be fucking married repelling down the side of something i would say this whole time if this guy was officiating that would be pretty repelling it would be repellent at the very least so uh that's gonna wrap it up for this week we want to thank uh ishmael brown from angry black rant for coming on

uh he was a lot of fun i've been listening to his show um and it's it's just great i what i love about uh ishmael's show is the ease at which he has conversations uh there's a lot of people in the podcast world who guard their language, really meter out what they say, sound like they're reading off directly from scripts, things like that. He just has an ease at which he speaks that is fun to listen to. And I really like that he not only sounds like a normal guy, but is a funny guy and also is a really intelligent guy. His arguments are great. I've been listening to his podcast from the first one, and I've really enjoyed it.

So if you give it a shot, angryblackrant.com, and you can find his podcast, like he said, on iTunes and Stitcher and all the other places. He was a lot of fun to have on, and I'm sure we're going to have him on in the future again. Yeah, I was going to say, not only is his show very good, but he's just a fun guy to talk to. I mean, the ease of his show certainly translated in talking to him as a guest. He was a lot of fun to have. So that's going to wrap it up for this week.

We're going to leave you, like we always do, with The Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Late night info docutainment.

Leo Pisces. Cancer cures. Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing.

Crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples. Dragons.

Giant worms. Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards. Vaccine nuts.

Shaman healers. Evangelists. Conspiracy. Double speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only.

Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Let's see. I'm currently recording. Okay. Okay, Massa? Is that true? Oh, I hope. Oh, I'm going to. That's got to go in.

Oh, my God. I hope you got that on tape because that's great. And yes, it's okay. Yeah. Jesus Christ. We all in. We all got that on tape. That's tremendous. That's great. And yes, it's okay. Yeah. Jesus Christ. See, now I know what's going on because in my mind, I literally, so I get four stories and I'm assuming they're from Cecil because I have Cecil as the nice one. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, wow, these are like, you know, regular stories.

Unlike, you know, I was just on Imaginary Friends show and Jake gives me a story and it's about absentee fathers in prison. And I'm like, oh, wow, he's not noticing that I'm black at all. So then you guys send me stories and I'm like, oh, look, these are regular stories. And then the extra email comes in like, oh, and here's one more about Black Lives Matter. But you choose. But you choose which story. And in my mind, Tom was like was like man fuck this pc shit i'm

sending them a nigga what's so funny what's so funny is you have it exactly reversed you have it exactly so tom sent you four stories and here's why tom sent you those four stories though tom and i had a conversation two weeks ago we had a that black lives matter thing was on our thing and when we were that night having a conversation with you. And I was like, oh, well, you know, this would be a perfect story. You know, he could give us a perspective that we can't get. And he said, yeah, absolutely. So he put it on the bottom of the notes.

But Tom is so fucking incompetent that he forgot that we had talked about it three weeks ago. And he didn't even bother to send the thing that we didn't talk about that was fucking gold. And then we passed up specifically so we could have a conversation with you about it well that's that's the backstory also we're racists in my mind cecil was the nice guy who and then tom was like man fuck this piece that is normally how it is that's generally generally how it is yeah you're right to get another email yeah when you stereotyped us like that, it's perfect. That's absolutely perfect when you stereotyped us like that.

Well, you just cleared it up, since I now know who's the villain in this story.