Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 264: Boil Em, Mash Em, Stick Em in a Stew

Episode Date: December 7, 2015

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey Tom and Cecil, this is Jeremiah from No Religion Required. And on the last show, you made it sound like Brian Fisher didn't have a legitimate concern when he was talking about the fruited plane. I don't think you're giving him enough credit because after all, the whoppers are turning rainbows. And I think his real concern is that there's just a bunch of fruity-ass people all across North America.

And he doesn't like the gay folks, so I think that's where his concern is. Just a ton of fruits across the plains. So, yeah, I think that's legitimate. I don't know what you guys think. But anyway, glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording again oh my god from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and we have welcome mats yay

i can't it's amazing we have welcome mats thank you so much from one of our listeners that was kind enough she reached out to us we had a a back and forth that stretched all the way from like fucking june or something where we i probably am responsible for not understanding most of what happened. Nonetheless, here we are six months later. We are in full welcome mat availability mode. Full welcome mode. Well, there's pre-orders right now. That's still, that's closer than we've ever been.

I'm fully erect thinking about this. We've never been this close. I mean, I've got like an inch and a half of excitement right now. She had said one of the things is we initially wanted to have a punch cut out, but she can't do that. She can't cut the glory hole out of the mat. It's such an offensive request anyway. I feel so shamed even saying that, but she can't cut the glory hole out of the mat. You'll have to cut your own glory hole.

You've got to cut your own glory hole. It's DIY. It's your own motherfucking glory hole. So if you want to fuck somebody through your welcome mat, you're going to have a little work to do. I've always wanted to get blown through a welcome mat. That's fine. Anonymous blown through my welcome mat. That's fine. Anonymous blown through my welcome mat. I don't know, like,

which side do you want to stand on? You want to stand on the furry side. You want the furry side to touch the furry side. Man. It's like Velcro. I would be worried I'd get stuck there. Like, oh my god, you rip that thing off of there, it's like, you ever have your legs stuck to the couch on a summer afternoon? Are you kidding

me? It's like a depilatory. You just see, like, stuck to the couch on a summer afternoon. Are you kidding me? Fuck it. It's like a depilatory. Like, it just falls as a fucking. You just see, like, you got to wear one of those, what do they call them, Merkins or whatever. You wear, like, a little fake little bush for your. A little fucking crotch toupee.

You look down, you're like, I'm like a newborn. I thought my dick looked. Honey, it looks bigger now. I know it's literally not bigger. Yeah, it looks bigger now. I know it's literally not bigger. It's not bigger. When you highlight what's really there, it just serves to emphasize the disappointment. Oh man, that's amazing.

So we're super happy. We are? I didn't get that memo. Hang on a minute. I'm happy about the welcome pets. Okay, we're happy about that. We're happy about none of the other stuff that I didn't want to be happy in general No not in general So we're very specifically happy And Debra thank you

We're excited and hopefully people will buy welcome mats And enjoy them Buy a lot of them I guess that's kind of what I'm putting out there Is buy a lot of them I eat a lot He does eat a lot. Yeah. So, I mean, like. He does eat a lot, admittedly. So much.

So much, guys. Admittedly. Admittedly. It's, you know, it's actually, Cecil's gotten to the point where when I'm at work, if I'm trying to have conversations with people and it's like 1130, 12 o'clock, they're like, do you need to eat? Like, they're just like. They're like.

Have a Snickers. They're like, you. No, they're just like, have Thai food. Like, they're like, you need food You need to go to the buffet I have actually Recently had a co-worker Stop me and say She had already eaten

She's like you need to eat I will go with you while you get lunch And have this conversation But it is clear you need to eat It was pretty great And I took her up on that offer this conversation, but it is clear you need to eat. It was pretty great, and I took her up on that offer. The point is that we've got to rewrite the federal government. Now, this is not going to happen overnight.

It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today. It could probably take 50 years to turn it around. But if we stand on the Constitution, then everything else comes together. So the first story we want to cover is from Ford Progressives. Mark Rubio, the United States is governed by God, not the Constitution. Well, not according to the Constitution. Mark Rubio. Now, this is a longer segment. I don't know that I want to play the audio from this, but I want to read what he says.

He says, we are clearly called in the Bible to adhere to our civil authorities. So he's saying that, you know, we're supposed to obey the civil authorities. It's a render under the Caesar moment, right? We're supposed to obey the civil authorities. It's a render under the Caesar moment, right? But that conflicts, which is also a requirement to adhere to God's rules. When those two come in conflict, God's rules always win. And I wonder, does that include stoning your neighbor's wife if she's an adulterer? Right.

Because that's one of God's rules, right? Well, that actually is an interesting question because when I read that, I felt like what he was doing was defining the rock, paper, scissors of the branches of government. Sure, yeah. So, you know, stoning is a great example. That's the rock. That's the rock. You know? And, you know, I don't know the rest of the joke.

It's definitely the rock. It's definitely the rock. There you go. So it's it. So this is great. This is a guy who wants to be the president. He's basically like, look, totes the Constitution unless something else, in which case the other thing. Right.

But I'll be your president if I feel like that's convenient and it jibes with what I already think I should do. So in other words, I'm just going to do what I think I should do. Yeah. Can I be the leader? And no one's going to ever vote for you. Dude, this guy has as much chance of becoming fucking president as my goddamn dog. I'll tell you what, look at him in the face. Tell me he doesn't

look like Shoebat. He looks... He looks like the past. Look at the way his hair is parted. It's like, look at this guy. Nobody does that anymore. Nobody does that. He looks like Eddie Haskell.

He does. He's like... You look at him and you're like, well, was this photo taken, like, immediately after the invention of photography? I'm surprised you're even smiling in your Civil War photo, motherfucker. Like, where's your musket? Fucking ye old timey look. There's no, I can't conceive of a world where Eyebrows McGee there actually gets fucking elected. Are you kidding? He looks plastic. He looks fucking plastic.

I have fucking blow-up dolls that were fucking more organic and real-looking. And full of life. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Well, that's just because they were partially inflated and when you press the head sort of pulsates. That's the fucking

kung fu grip they come with. You know, this guy, it's so disingenuous to say those things. To say, oh well, it's God's law that we follow. No, it's not, man. There's so many God's laws in there that you fucking, that you just ignore. That you just ignore. Those are awful.

You just wholly reject pages and pages and pages of God's laws only to pick these couple. The few that repress women's choice. Right. That one. Yeah, I like that one. Or the one that represses gay people. Right. That one.

Those are the ones that you choose. Those are the ones that are like, oh people that one those are those are the ones that you choose those are the ones that are like oh well those are really important but the ones about don't be rich these fucking guys are like i'm gonna ignore that because i'm fucking rich that's in a different translation of the bible with the thing and then the what they were really saying was hoard all your money motherfucker we're really saying is give me the money. Right, yeah. And there's other stuff too, the fucking two cloths, two fucking plants in a same row. All the bullshit

in Leviticus. You know, what, do we have to make all of our fucking, all of our dressers have to be the same size as the ark too? You know what I mean? That was our only option. It's like, you know... You gotta go get some gopher wood. Go get the gopher wood, motherfucker.

You throw out, wholesale, all of these other rules, and now you're gonna fucking sing me a song that you fucking, you're standing by God's law? Bullshit, you're not. Bullshit, you're not.

Even to your own, even to your own fucking crazy fucking ideals, you're not standing up to your own God's law. Yeah. What he is doing is pandering for votes. Exactly. That's all it is. Yeah. Abortions for all. Very well.

No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. So this story comes from the Patheos blog's progressive secular humanist blog. Will evangelists who called for the assassination of abortion providers be prosecuted?

So three chins Josh Florenstein or whatever. You can play the xylophone on those chins. You know what I mean? Look at this. What did he take this I didn't watch this This fucking camera Was he searching for like the least flattering possible angle

I know It's like he's hanging upside down like a bat You know And they're like It's like all the blood is rushing to his face And his cheeks are all He looks like a fucking He looks like a deflated Jabba the Hutt.

It's unbelievable. His face fucking Russia. He's laying like back on a pillow or something. Yeah, he's doing this like holding the photos. I'm so fucking fat and lazy. I can't even stand to make my video. His face is like a fucking floppy tit when it's fucking laid down. It's like escaping into his armpit. His fucking face. fucking floppy tit when it's fucking laid down.

It's like escaping into his armpit. He does look like a sagger, doesn't he? He looks like a sagger. He looks like a floppy saggy tit. He's just going to roll off all the way to one side and he's going to have to need some more fucking face support.

He looks like one of those guys you remember the end of Robocop when the guy's melting? And he gets to play the car. And he gets to play the car and he turns into liquid. He looks like he's liquefying. Like, he's going to turn into liquid on this pillow. It's, I seriously, like, you could fucking beat me half to fucking death. And I would fucking still be more attractive than this fucking guy.

Regardless. I want to talk, quickly introduce the story because I want to play the audio. I thought I did. Quickly introduce the story. Well, reintroduce it because I wasn't listening. I'll do it again. I wasn't listening. No, but they're all turned off at this point. So, they're all still picturing me fucking a blow-up doll of Mark Rubio.

Which I would do. Oh, sure. Yeah. Don't judge. Yeah, right. Don't judge. I don't give a shit. Just don't stop me from fucking a blow up doll of Mark Rubio. Judge all you fucking want.

Send your fucking judgy ass letters. I don't give a shit. I'll masturbate with your fucking letters. I really don't give a shit. So this guy is Josh or whatever his fucking name is. Castle Furenstein. He's an internet troll that pretends he's a fake YouTube pastor, which how is that a thing? I don't even know.

And he's got this horrible, monstrous video where he says horrible, monstrous things, and we're going to play it and try not to vomit in our mouths while we do. So people have edited this video down. What we're going to listen to is the full version, so we're not going to listen to the edited version. The edited version cuts out all talk of Cecil the Lion. So the edited version removes all that talk, and it just basically is him. It sounds like him making a call to attack Planned Parenthood.

I don't think that this video with the addition of Cecil the lion is even is is much less damning than the other video I still think it's it's damning I don't know that it's it's much less it's a little less damning but it's not much less damning so let's listen to it okay it's Joshua Feinstein with his floppy face talking about Cecil the Lion and abortion doctors. So let me get this right. Tonight America's crying about an old lion named Cecil that was killed by

some dipwad who cut his head off and left his body there but check this out. Planned Parenthood has hunted down millions and millions of little innocent babies. How exactly did they hunt them down? And that's not a very – admittedly, when we go hunting birds, right? The dog does all the hunting, right?

We just stand there. The dog flushes the bird, and we just shoot it. It's murdering. It's not even hunting. It's just murdering, right? It's murdering. Aborting is – that is hunting even – that's even – because you're not even sending a dog up the badge. You know what I mean?

It's abortion season. To flush the fetus out so you can shoot it. First off. It's tiny dogs. Just to get the dog up there is a lot of work. Here's the thing. You need the speculum. Right.

You need a speculum and a dachshund. Yeah. You send the dachshund up there, the baby comes out, and you've got to see its little tails off. Oh, he's got one! He's got one! He's excited! You know, the hard part about it, I mean, that's difficult enough to go hunting for abortions. The hardest part is putting the little tag on them.

It is. And you've got to go to the lottery and get the biggest tag. The worst part is walking into the lottery when they scream at you about how you're a baby killer. Right. Yeah, that's terrible. I hate going to the lottery. Plus, like, field dressing a fetus. You have to have very, very, very,

very practiced hands. And a tiny little knife. Tiny knife. Stuck a knife into the uterus, cut them, pulled them out, crushed their skull with forceps. Their skull? Boil them, mash them, stick them in his tooth. Fetuses? What? Fetuses?

Fetuses? Oh no! That's fetuses. Oh, no. Oh, God. Babies? My precious. My precious. The abortion doctors throw them in Mordor. That's what they call a biohazard bag.

Oh, my God. It's stone. Oh, God. This is what we do. I feel at home. It's like I'm wrapping myself in an electric blanket, getting ready to go to sleep. It's amazing. Oh, God.

Ripped their body apart, sold their tissue. He's not done. He's just going. What is the point of all the rest of it? Good Lord. And threw them bleeding into a trash bin. And you guys are crying about a lion, but what about the babies? You know what I call that?

I call that being a hypocrite. I say tonight, we punish Planned Parenthood. I think it's time that abortion doctors should have to run and hide and be afraid for their life instead of some hunter. Both are wrong, but one is a lion. The other are humans. Stand up for humans. God bless.

If you agree with me, take a moment, click share on the side of the bottom of this video, like and comment below. If you're not my friend already on Facebook, click my name at the top of the video. Let's be friends. God bless. He's right into fucking hucking himself like that. I'm super into this message about this fucking thing i'm really into and by the way you should totally promote my thing and do a thing with my stuff and fucking if you don't like me fucking

blow me in a glory hole whatever csi right like yeah like i'm so fucking into this but i have no problem segwaying into the fucking self-congratulatory commercial about how fucking awesome i am how you should fucking blow me on the fucking social webs i i yeah and and you know the other thing too is like here's this guy making these comparisons when he says they're both wrong at the end i think oh is this where he's going to redeem himself by basically saying look we shouldn't be going after these guys, because it's wrong just like what they're doing to these fetus. But that's not what he's talking about. When he says they're both wrong,

what he means is, the abortion doctors are both wrong, and killing the lion is wrong. I misunderstood it when I first watched it, and I was like, oh, is he redeeming himself? No, he's not redeeming himself. He's being just as big a cockknocker as he was at the very beginning. It was like oh is he is he redeeming himself no he's not redeeming himself he's being just as big a cock knocker as he was at the very beginning it's like this guy is inciting violence right in other people he's saying you know what you should do is go out and fucking

we should make these people pay and you know what it turns out recently somebody fucking made him pay right somebody shot up a fucking abortion clinic in colorado right and i don't know that it's directly because of this guy but this is not just one guy who's saying this stuff this is not just fucking this guy who's saying we should do this every time they say there's a baby that gets murdered every time they say you know we should we need to take this stuff back we need to fight this etc etc. We need to fight this, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. All these people get the wrong idea. Yeah. And this kind of talk, like where you expressly call people to violence and say we should make other people be afraid for their lives.

Like that is that crosses that fire in a crowded theater line. There is a there is a we have rules against this you know i mean what he's doing we have rules against and there's and there's articles out there where they say can he go to jail for something like this now i don't know what the legality of something like that is but this is inciting someone to violence i have to think that probably he could if somebody pointed back to this right the the problem is that oftentimes it's not like one big step and I did a thing. It's like it's a hundred little pushes in a direction until finally, you know, it's difficult for me to pinpoint that's the speech that really motivated me. Instead,

it's a hundred speeches in this same direction or in this same vein. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage,

and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch. Brian Fisher, Planned Parenthood shooter, may have been tanked up on pot, says guy who has never been on pot. Did he say tanked up?

He does. He says it's like fucking, like, this is hot like a goofball. Was he smoking the reefers? Right. Is that what he's doing? Might have been tanked up on the pots or drinking the weed smoke. What are you talking about? Have you ever seen that weed movie where they go crazy, whatever it is? Yeah, Reefer Madness. Reefer Madness Have you ever seen that

weed movie where they go crazy, whatever it is? Yeah, Raid for Madness. It's fucking amazing. It's awesome. It is the best movie ever. They all turn into homicidal vampires. They're the best. That's the best. When they smoke pot and then they're just like, and they kill their friend

and you're like, wait, why did you do that? Wouldn't you just be like, bro, pass the Cheetos? I know, it's like, is your friend Doritos? Because unless your friend's made a fucking cool ranch, everybody's fine. Yeah. I have been high a number of times in my life. I cannot imagine any one time if somebody was like, dude, you really need to kill that guy. I'd be like, no, I'm good.

No, he's fucking, he's in your house robbing you. Yeah, it's cool, man. It's all good, bro. We love each other. Yeah. It's fine. It's fucking in your house robbing you. Yeah, it's cool, man. It's all good, bro. We love each other. It's fine. It's fine. We're friends.

No, I mean, he's fucking, he's killing your family. No, I don't think that. Oh, man, it's Cartoon Network's on. It's fine. It's fine. It's all good. It's good. It's good. Just chill.

Well, anyway, this guy was hopped up on goofball, so let's hear what Brian Fisher has to say. I want to talk about this, what we know about this shooter, just for a second, give you some of the information that I've been able to glean from one source or another. Now, we know a number of things about this guy. I mentioned them briefly in the last segment, but this is a profile that is developing of this guy. Here's a story that says motive is unclear. Colorado Springs police Sunday refused to release any information on the motive.

Motive is unclear. Guy shoots up a fucking abortion clinic. I wonder why I could have chosen abortion clinic. Yeah. He didn't shoot up a bowling alley because he doesn't like bowling. Right. You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck? You know, and that disingenuous bullshit, right? Like, as this

was unfolding, did anybody, and you see the tweets were like, oh, it's actually, the people on the right were like, oh, it's actually at a Chase Bank. He's shooting up the bank. It's a bank robbery gone wrong, and then what turned out not to be. There was no retraction of any of that shit. He shot him at an abortion clinic and then later was talking about, like, well, no more fucking baby body parts.

And still there's conversation like, well, we're not real sure why he did it. Maybe you're fucking hopped up on the goofballs. Did you not listen to him? For the shooting spree at Planned Parenthood Clinic, as the accused shooter prepared for his initial appearance in state court, which is today. A law enforcement official, remember, Robert Lewis was reported as having said somewhere along the line the phrase, no more baby parts. But he also went on a long rant, rambling about many other things, including Barack Obama.

So that statement, whatever it was, was among a number of statements that he made to authorities after his arrest, and so they don't know which one of those things he said amounted to a specific motivation. So they're not saying, they're not even hazarding a guess. Huh.

Wow. Huh. So those things aren't related? You even hazarding a guess. Huh? Wow. Okay. So those things aren't related. You know what he didn't shoot up? Barack Obama. Right? Like if you shoot up the president, you got a long rant about the president. I'm going to listen to that part about your long rant. If you shoot up an abortion clinic and then you have fucking things to say about baby parts.

You know what? Maybe I'm going to give a little more fucking relevance to that part of your crazy screed of insanity. Here's the thing. It's not like abortion and Barack Obama are not intrinsically linked. Right. Like people on the right are certainly tying those together. That link is there, right?

That link is there. And the link is there in the sense that, you know, even if you're not a crazy person, the link is there in the sense that, you know, even if you're not a crazy person, the link is there in the sense that he has always stood for pro-choice issues. He's always done it. So it's intrinsically linked. So the idea would be like,

you know, you're talking about things that are automatically linked up, you fucking idiot. Like, well, we don't know what his motives are. I mean, he talked about abortion, then he talked about Obama. Like, what the fuck? It could be anything, right? So we're going to have to wait for some days until we get more information about what might have driven this guy.

But now it's time for pointless conjecture. And here's the thing, right? Maybe you're right. Maybe we need to wait and to see exactly what he's talking about, right? And that's fine. That's fair if you want to wait until you're, you know. But here's the thing. Eventually I think we're going to be right and it's going to be i'll eat your fucking hat exactly right right i'm with you on that it's like you know you don't shoot up an abortion clinic because

you're mad that they're fucking uh offshore drilling right you know right like you know because here's the thing we can look at the history of abortion clinic shootings. It's not, this is not the first abortion clinic shooting that's ever happened. It's not like the first or the fifth or the tenth abortion clinic shooting that's ever happened. They shoot up abortion clinics because they don't like abortion. They don't shoot them up because they're like, well, I had a bad Big Mac. Right? Like, you just, no, it's, wait. I had a bad Big Mac. Right? Like, you just, no, it's, wait, I mean, what are we even saying?

Why are we even entertaining this shit? But we do know that since he had moved to Colorado, he was a pot-smoking nutcase. Here we go. Here we go. Cecil, fucking take me home. Oh, here we go, buddy. And again, we've had stories. I mean, fucking take me home. Here we go, buddy. And again, we've had stories. I mean, people laugh about this when you talk about people getting doped up

or tanked up or high on pot and going off and doing brutal things. But we have seen one story after another where somebody will get – I mean, you've got these edible forms of pot in Colorado, brownies and other kinds of things. Brand new. Never happened before. Brownies. Oh, my God. They're putting the reefers in the brownies nowadays. Holy of things. Brand new. Never happened before. Brownies. Oh my God.

They're putting the reefers in the brownies nowadays. Holy cow. What is it? They got chocolate reefers. How many reefers did you eat? Oh, I had three reefers today. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a reefers? You know, and they contain

a kind of pot, kind of cannabis. Cannabis? Did he say kind of cannabis that... Cannabis? Did he say cannabis? He said cannabis. Cannabis. It's cannabis. It's like Cabeza. I'm going to smoke my cannabis under the gazabon.

What? What are you saying? You can't just decide you want to randomly emphasize certain syllables. Cannabis. Oh, that's the cannabis. What is happening? I love it. What's going on?

It's awesome. Brianne Fisher. Is maybe five or six times more potent than anything that people smoked in college a generation ago. It's not the same pot. It's got a lot bigger kick. And people eating these edibles, it tastes good. They'll eat one. They don't get any effect of it.

They don't feel it. So they have another one. Still don't get any effect. So they have a third one. Jesus. Still don't get any effect. How many brownies did you eat, Brian? What the fuck?

He sounds like he's spitting from... It sounds like he's like, well, then I fucking ate another, and then the whole world went pink. I know, right? He's like, well, I was supposed to eat one brownie, then I ate three brownies, and I felt fucking real weird. And then? I shot an abortion clinic.

Colors were sounds. Right. And by the time they get done, they got so much of that stuff in their system that they get hopped up and they get hyped up. We had one guy. He just said it. He just said it. He just said it.

They do get hopped up, dude. They get hopped up. They get hopped up. That's like my dad having a conversation with me about fucking say no to drugs. Right. I know. I feel embarrassed for him. The higher you get, too, it's not like you're like, whoa, I'm fucking super stoned.

Wait a minute. I'm way more stoned than I wanted to be. I know. I'll be really active. That's never happened once. No one's been like, I'm so high, I'm going to go work out. I'm super high. Marathon time.

Oh, my God, dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. I had, like, three brownies, and then I fucking PR'd my deadlift. It's never happened, ever. Killed his wife. High on pot. Other guys are jumping off third floor balconies. So there's no question that the kind of pot that's available in Colorado today

can drive you into psychotic episodes. So I'll be interested to see. Maybe this guy wasn't using anything that day, but I'm going to be interested to see what he had in his system and if maybe this was a guy that was just tanked up on pot here let me tell you what he had in his system the hate and vitriol that the fucking far right has spewed about abortions for years and years and years that's what's in that man's system right not fucking any kind of chemicals. The only chemicals that are in there are the chemicals that your side created to make this man hate other humans to the point where he wants to injure them.

That's the fucking shit that was in his system. What makes you think she's a witch? Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt. I got better. Burn already! You know who my new favorite character is? I'm gonna guess

Jim Baker. Ex-convict Jim Baker. I love this man. I wanna buy I feel like buying some of his fucking like cornmeal biscuit. You know what we should buy? We should buy his brownie mix! And get high

on his brownie mix. We have to go to Colorado because it's totally not legal. It's not legal. I would not break a law. I would feel sad if I broke a law. I would not break a law. I would cry big. We'd be in illegal tears. Full of THC.

This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Jim Baker blames witches for televangelist scandals. It's so great. You don't say. He doesn't blame, I don't know, televangelists.

The very best part of this is the very beginning. A very well-known man of God, after I got out of prison. For being a fraudster televangelist. So we were asking people to put together clips to begin. I'm totally using a very well-known man of God after I got out of prison. Awesome. That is amazing. Awesome.

That is amazing. It's just great. And that's four seconds long. You had me at hello. He came to me, and he said, Jim, before you came down, as they call it, they said he was flying on an airplane, and he sat next to this woman. Were you on the airplane? Because it was at Con Air.

Oh, snap! Steve Buscemi's talking to you the whole time. I used to have a huge mullet. Nicolas Cage has a really bad accent. They got to talking. What are you doing? And he said, what are you doing? She said, I'm a do? And she said,

I'm a witch. I mean, that's insane. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Like it's a job? Yeah, no,

it is. Like, oh, I'm in real estate. What do you do? I'm a witch. What, professionally?

You put that on your W-2. Right. Like when I fill out my tax form at the end of the year and it's like occupation, do I put like witch professional or something yeah like you're a wizard harry and a thumping good one i'll wager

oh good let me write that down in case anyone asks yeah sure yeah what do you do oh i wizard what's the occupational code for witch right you know six six six there you go but she was proud of it and she's he said, what do you do? And she said, which witch is which? Oh, I mostly make sandwiches at which witch. I work at Quiznos. I'm a witch master. A sandwich master.

The demons are at Quiznos and the witches are at which witch. The demons are at Quiznos and the witches are at Witch Witch. Well, she said, right now, all the witches, what is it, Coven or something, they're all agreeing they're going to destroy the television ministry. Fuck you. Here's the thing. The television ministry will destroy itself because one day people will wise up and realize that their seed money and that your fucking garbage you're selling is all worthless. Yeah, right.

And they're going to realize that, and they're slowly realizing it now. where they had all the tweets from all the leaders after the fucking big San Bernardino shooting, all the tweets like, we'll pray for someone, prayers and prayers. Yeah, it was like, God's not going to fix this. That's a major newspaper saying something like this. Right. This is just the start. I mean, it's not going to – people aren't going to start believing once they've stopped believing. Right.

You're never going to start – you're never going to go back to that. I don't know of anybody who's been like, you know. I don't know of anybody who's done that. Maybe there's a few. I wonder how that would work from a deconversion back to a reconversion or whatever. I mean, I don't think that's a thing. I love, too, that this is a disgraced former televangelist, right? Sure.

This is a guy who went to prison he went to prison despicable fraud and he was also cheating on his wife or whatever with that jessica han or something like that yeah right yeah so like i mean it's not like he was it was doing something illegal and also immoral and this is a guy who's like they're gonna distress no bro you destroyed yourself right you don't have to you didn't need witches yeah like you didn't need witches to be a fucking horrible human being you're just horrible yeah like you woke up one day and you were like well i'm horrible witches oh no that's actually the direct result of my own personal goddamn actions well i'm horrible how can i profit off this yeah exactly right basically i could steal from people and i won't feel any fucking compunction. Or we could blame

it on sky witches we met in the airport. Sky witches? You kidding? Those are delicious too. If she's a witch, why is she on an airplane? I get a sky witch with a little smear. It's really good. Why would she be on her broom?

I don't know. Why isn't she wiggling her nose and teleporting places? And we're starting with Jim Baker. I don't know. Why is she even in here? Why isn't she winking, wiggling her nose, and teleporting places? Yeah. And we're starting with Jim Baker. And we are all praying. Praying. To destroy him. Bro, you did it to yourself once.

All we got to do is wait at this point. You're a horrible person. You've already proven that you're a despicable, awful, immoral, lying, cheating, stealing shithead. So if it turns out later that you lie, cheat, steal, and act immorally and are basically a giant, bald-ass shithead. It's not because of witches. It's just you're an awful despicable monster man. He does kind of look like the Swamp. Could you believe that, Rick? Absolutely. You should talk to

John Ramirez. I'll believe fucking anything. I'll literally say anything you want me to say. I'm on your show pretty much just to say yes. I'd agree with you. And help you sell big buckets of cornmeal. Hey, Jim, go ahead and fuck your wife. Yeah, alright. Sounds great. Go ahead and I'll hold her hand.

Whatever you need. There's a guy to get on your program, John Ramirez. Former Satanist. Oh, yeah. He talks about how he was over I don't know how many Satanists, you know, I call them churches, in New Jersey, New York. He was like the bishop. He was overseeing their activities, and they targeted.

Can you be a bishop witch? Is that a thing you can do? It's a mushroom sandwich. The pastors and the ministers that were really preaching the word of God, that's the ones they zeroed in on. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What are you? Why are you on TV at all. Are you kidding? And that's why you see them going through troubles.

And you desert some pastor who's been caught in something. What, like a sex scandal? Caught in something. Like, are you having sex with a Chinese finger trap? And it's like, you fucking stick it in. You're like, oh my God, every time I pull out, it just grabs it harder.

And you look down, it's like, oh, it's a fucking demon. You caught me this time. Shame on me, demon. Still shouldn't have fucked you. And you don't know that all the demons in hell brought whatever, whether it be sex, drugs, or women, or whatever. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Women are, wait a minute, women are an immoral, hold on, the demons show up and they're like, we brought women, and the women are just like, we're half the population of earth, like I

don't think that we're just a commodity to tempt men, like, that's an incredibly hate-filled, misogynist, mean-spirited thing to say. I totally agree. Also, he said sex first. So he said sex, and then he said women. Right. So what are we talking about here, Jim? And look, I'm not judging.

He was in prison for a long time. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta do what you gotta do. Look, the rabbit's gotta go into the hole once in a while. I understand. I understand. You just, you know, you're just looking for someone to touch you right. Sure. And look, if

you had a sugar daddy in prison, I'm not judging, Jim. What happens in fucking Shawshank stays in Shawshank. Whatever. Came against them. That was the perfect way to end it. Fine. Came against them. Came on them.

What are you going to do? As long as it rubbed it in a little bit. Ladies, can you put your faces together so I can came against them? This is the best news ever. This news is great. This is from Right Wing Watch. Michael Savage threatens to leave America. Fucking keep threatening. Is there a sad, sad, sad song we could play right now?

Dude, if they could fucking fire up a C-130 capable of moving his bloated ass out of this country, I'd fucking love to hook up however many parachutes it takes to dump him onto the ground. They need one of those giant aircraft carriers. They just roll him on like a cargo ship. Right. They just put him on a cargo ship and then just throw him somewhere. Maybe they could just let him float on that bunch of plastic that's in the ocean. The giant raft of plastic that's out there. We're going to get emails being like, who's that not that big, actually?

It would not be able to support his weight. Just like, right, right, right. Alright, so this is Michael Savage. We're going to get that email. Oh, it's going to be awesome. Michael Savage. That's not a load-bearing raptor. Flotsam and Jetsam.

Actually, Flotsam is not the correct term. Alright, we're playing Michael Savage. It's funny how people live on their laurels. I read, by the way, speaking of actors that... You live on your laurels? That's where I live. I live on my laurels.

Yeah, 123 Laurel Lane. Yeah, I live on my laurels. Yeah, that's not a thing. Wrestling on your laurels, that's something, but... Admittedly. It's funny how people live on their laurels. I read, by the way, speaking of actors, that Robert De Niro was thinking of moving to Russia. I don't know if it's a rumor.

The fuck? When did he move to Russia? Robert De Niro moving to Russia. Is he like a known conservative? I don't know. I have no idea. The thing is, I don't care. Like, here's... I initially asked the question, and midway through the question, I thought, why the fuck

do I care? First off, I don't care that he leaves or goes or stays or fucking explodes anyway. Right. Yeah. But then the second part of that question is, is he a conservative? Would he care about, like, going to Russia because of their – I don't even care. Like, I immediately thought about it. I was like, oh, I remembered mid-sentence that I don't care.

Well, I don't even know where he lives now. Maybe he's already in Russia. Clearly not Russia. Well, what am I going to do if Robert De Niro fucking moves to Russia? Am I going to be like, oh, I don't know how to wake up in the morning? Fucking life doesn't make sense anymore. I was going to get up and go to work and take care of my family and fucking enjoy the company of friends,

but now I don't know where Robert De Niro lives. They said, are you going to accept him? Because he's over in Russia pushing a movie, and he was at the Moscow Film Festival years ago. You're considering doing what Depardieu did? He's not going to do it. So far as I know, there's no Little Italy in Moscow. Yeah, what do you fucking know?

Maybe there is. Fuck you. You know what I mean? Like, fuck you. Well, no, you see, the other thing that he doesn't understand is that there's no other melting pot in the world except for here. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, what a fucking stupid fucking thing to say.

Like, Moscow is a fucking major world city. All right, no little Italy or Moscow. Fuck you. Maybe there's seven of them. What do you fucking know? I don't think so. I don't think there's a little Italy or Moscow, by the way. I've thought of it.

If this keeps up, I'd have to. Imagine how crazy the world has become. The left is so fanatical. We're becoming so much like the ex-Soviet Union. I'm thinking about which country to move to if it gets worse. What is he, just fucking swallow a rabbit? What's happening there?

He's like unhinging his jaw. Take the fucking cock out of your mouth when you're on the radio, bro. Maybe I have to go to Russia. It seems to me the best country left on the planet, run by a decent leader. I said, nah, you can't do that. I'm going to go back to the country my father fled,

that my grandfather fled. I'm going to go to Russia. First of all, Russian's a hard language. Imagine being an immigrant to a nation at my age, not speaking a language, how hard that is. Well, there's refugees giving it a fucking whirl. Right? Like, this guy is the fucking worst human being possible.

Is he even human? He's the fucking most relentlessly self-centered, egotistical, narcissistic bag of shit that I have ever heard spew hate-filled garbage in my entire life. Also, the thing is, is like when I listen to the guy, he sounds like a doddering idiot. Yes. He sounds like somebody who just meanders off topic to the point where you just don't, you can't even listen to what he has to say. He's not even talking about the same thing

he was talking about two seconds ago. And then to crying the idea, like, well, what do you think about being an immigrant at this age? You know, he's basically saying the same thing about anybody who's coming in here. Right. Right. He's using that as a way to be like, oh, you should fucking know the language.

He's just saying, oh, it's fucking super hard. Yeah. Well, people still do it. Yeah. It's really important to them. And it's not just a fucking meaningless fucking political stance they take on their show for shitheads. You want answers?

I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story is from golfnews.com. It's coming out of India. Women are fit only to deliver children, says Kerala Cleric. So this guy is just super terrible.

I can't you read the first sentence in this article. So the first sentence in this article is, OK, first off, I can't pronounce whatever the hell that is. I can't pronounce anything other than Sunni leader. So can't pronounce it, can't pronounce it, can't pronounce it. Leader. Oh, no. Sunni leader can't pronounce it. AP can't pronounce it, can't pronounce it on AP. Can't pronounce it. Can't pronounce it. On Saturday.

I know. It's like, it's fucking, it's impossible. You got to try it, though. All right. Let me try it. Thiru Vathan Nathapuram. Kerala Sunni leader. Kanthapuram AP Apubakar.

Musilar. That's what it says. Or Apubakar. He's Apubakar. Abubakar. Abubakar. I like Apub backer. Musilar. That's what it says. Or Apu backer. Abu backer. I like Apu backer better. I like it better. Musilar on Saturday described the concept of gender equality as un-Islamic. Maybe he only said that.

And what he really meant is that gender equality was drone strikes. Maybe that's what he meant. Maybe when he says that women are fit only to deliver children and that women could never equal men, and then when he later goes on to say gender equality is something which is never going to be a reality, it is against Islam, maybe he's not saying that from a place of religion no maybe that's a political it's definitely misogyny political misogyny yeah that's a new thing here's i want

to read a couple of these things he says women can never equal men they are fit only to deliver children women cannot withstand crisis situations what like pushing a human out of your vagina? That seems like a crisis situation. Or fucking this guy. That's a crisis situation. He wondered if there were a single woman among the thousands of cardiac surgeons. What a nozzle this guy is. No, they're all fucking married women among the cardiac surgeons. My wife's cardiologist is a woman.

That's awesome. Are you sure she isn't transgender? Well, I didn't check. I mean, I didn't feel around. Look, here's the thing. You can't be a fucking heart surgeon and be a fucking chick. That's just not going to work. How would that?

They bleed out of their vaginas, for Christ's sakes. What are you going to do, learn stuff? Yeah, you can't in your culture, because you set up a culture that's fucking hate-filled. Like women engineers next. What are we, kidding here? Oh my God.

No, pretty soon a woman's going to be able to drive a car. No, she can't. How is it going to distract you from your responsibilities in the kitchen? She'll be able to drive a car without getting impregnated by it. What are we talking about here?

Oh, I agree with him. Like, in this culture, clearly women cannot be cardiac surgeons. Sure. Because you don't give them the fucking opportunity to be cardiac surgeons. Right. But in places that are not backwaters, like where people actually look at half the population of their society and say, maybe we shouldn't disenfranchise them.

They can be anything they want, man. It's fucking their only fit to deliver children. So we just fucking, what is it? Like they deliver their last fucking baby. You're like, we're going to throw them away. We don't even know what your good you are. We're fucking just, may as well just fucking throw you in a volcano. That's awesome.

Make a Susan and tell her, like, you think she's done? Yeah, she's not going to have another kid. Okay, just take her out back and put a bullet in her face like a fucking old horse, you know? She won't even complain. She's a fucking useless. She clearly knows what her fucking, what her job is. Right? Yeah.

Just like, it's like, it's like the fucking bee that fucks the thing and dies. Right. You know? dies. Right. You know. Right. Exactly. It's like I fucking inseminated you time to crawl off into a corner. My testicles exploded and my brain flew out my face. There is also there is part of this article that there is evidently an actual debate or

controversy about whether or not girls and boys should share seats in a college. And I think they are talking about physical seats. I believe, based on this article and how fucking crazy this shit is, that they are actually debating. So, like, I go to period three. Yes. And not period. I don't want to use period.

Let's skip over. I don't want to use that. All right. I go to my third class of the day. Right. And not period. I don't want to use period. Let's skip over. I don't want to use that. All right. I go to my third class of the day. Right. And you sit. And I sit in a seat. And it happens to be a seat that a woman sat in. That's what he's talking about. I believe that's the not like I'm sitting in the seat and she's sitting on my knee. Right. No, not sharing a seat in that sense. Like, like, you know, ride my dick during the lecture. Sure. That's yeah. No, that's that's a fun. That's exciting. That's a great lecture. I'm good with that. I'm totally fine with it.

I'm willing to go back to school as a matter of fact. I'm willing to incur a lot of student debt. I'm just saying. I can't even imagine, like, oh, what if they sat in the same chair at different times? Are we fucking having a conversation that starts like this? What happens if you drink out of a woman's glass? I know. Do you get fucking woman AIDS's glass like you suddenly get tits they just grow like

what happened to joe a fucking dick fell right off we sat in a chair that a woman sat in like a week ago oh man he's fucking menstruating now did he get the cooties are you kidding me this is 2015 like an old-timey disease the cootie right yeah dude we seriously like in in part of the world the same globe the same planet in part of the world somebody was like hey we should launch a fucking rover to mars and somebody else is like, what if a girl sits in my chair? Are you kidding? What if a girl sits in my chair? What are we, six? Jesus Christ. You're never going to accomplish anything, ever, ever, ever, ever.

Never will you accomplish a thing. You fucking write a big list of things. That's what you're not going to do. What if a girl sits in your chair? What if a girl comes to my clubhouse? Then what? Then what, Tom?

I specifically said no girls allowed. I can't believe she climbed my rope ladder. So we want to thank our most current patrons uh jamie mark ed brendan jason chad jackman sodomized by jesus Russell, Jeffrey, Ian and Ali, Mike, Teresa and Chris, Andrew, and Matthew. Thanks so much for your generous donations. Really do appreciate it. Tom and I are going to be giving some money to Doctors Without Borders. We're going to be on David Smalley's podcast-a-thon.

Sorry, broadcast-a-thon. Podcast-a-thon. Coming up. Broadcast-a-thon. Coming up very soon. It's going to be on the 12th. Dude, you have to keep calling it a podcast-a-thon. It's a broadcast-a-thon. Sorry, a broadcast a-thon. Podcast a-thon. Coming up very soon. It's going to be on the 12th. Dude, you have to keep calling it a podcast. It's a broadcast a-thon. He specifically asked us to call it that. I know, but that's why it's funny.

It makes him a little mad. It does. It makes him a little tweaked. I know. He gets super mad about very small things. He's a really little guy. In any case, you're a really little guy, too. I know. So, in any case, we're going to be on his show. Now, I know he's going to be doing a

drive for a charity. I think he said he was going to do it for Secular Student Alliance. He's going to do a 24-hour podcast-a-thon. What we're going to do is we're going to come on. I think we're going to be kicking it off. I think we're going to be the first act or the second act. We're going to be early. We're going to be in the midday on the

12th, I think, is when the actual It's like a 1 o'clock or something? It's like a 1 o'clock in the afternoon thing. We're going to be live. We encourage everybody to listen to it, but specifically what we want you to do is if you want to give to this organization, give to

them, and then we have $5,000 that we are going to match, and we're going to give that to Doctors Without Borders. So you give money to David Smalley's organization, and you automatically donate that exact same amount. Up to $5,000. Up to $5,000 to Doctors Without Borders. So if you think that that's a good use of your money to get double the money to go to give the Secular Student Alliance and to Doctors Without Borders at the same time, you're going to want to listen to David Smalley's broadcast-a-thon.

It's a podcast, I believe. And donate during our hour because we're going to give away up to $5,000. And the other money that we don't give away up to $5,000, we're going to buy each other extravagant gifts with. And so you don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. You want to give that money to the Syrian refugees. I know you guys do. So give money to David Smalley during that hour, and we can try to get rid of that $5,000.

In fact, if you guys don't get us up to that $5,000, I'm going to use what's left over to buy a Syrian refugee. You could buy a lot of them. That's such a terrible thing to say. So we did get some PayPal. Let me, let me just throw this out there. We did get a couple of PayPal donations. Emily, your, your notification or your, your donation was finally received. It was received.

And that we are giving $5,050. Yes. So $5,050 will be going to Doctors Without Borders. So thank you. And Shane, you sent us some money to buy a Belgian quadruple. I will drink that. I'll try it. I don't like Belgium.

I'm not a huge Belgians fan, but I'll try. All right. Well, if worst case scenario, I get more beer, which makes me love Shane. So I know we spent a whole episode that you listened to beforehand. Maybe you didn't on Eli and the controversy of Yale and things like that. And I just want to say to the people who we got email from, and we got a lot of email. We did. I want to say to the people, most of the people who sent email, you know who you are, thank you for being so level headed. Even when you disagreed, we got some very good email that I think was level headed, came at it from a totally different position and was clear and and and not abusive in any way. Instead was just challenging the point,

looking to have a reasoned discussion, and I want to thank, like we say, the majority of the emails. The vast majority. The vast majority of these. Very kind. We got a few that were not so kind, but most of them were very, very kind.

So we want to thank everybody for a good discussion and a good batch of emails that I think spurred the discussion and spurred us into searching and digging deeper into this. So we can't thank you enough. We think that even though it wasn't the most fun episodes I think we've ever had, it was a very productive episode. So we want to thank you. Absolutely. We got a message from a couple of different people, and this was also mentioned on the Wellwaters drinkers.

If you're interested in talking about us on Reddit, our Wellwater drinkers, that's one word, you can find us on Reddit, and a bunch of people talk about it. They were talking about this specific thing. It turns out the Eagles of Death Metal are not a death metal band. They're like a hipster band.

They're like a hipster band. Yeah, that's like a thing. They're just like – one of them is like one of the dudes from Queens of Stone Age or whatever. Exactly. I mean it's not a band I listen to, but like – They just picked – I think it's very funny that the person, that Swanson, went out of his way to explain how awful and how they're demon-possessed and how they're death metal, blah, blah, blah. And it's like it's just the name. It's a joke.

It's just the name, bro. It's a joke. It's amazing that a humorless fucking cunt like that fucking guy can't. I don't think we understood the severity of what you're talking about through your comments, Tom. Well, I'll try it again. No. No. I think I've actually nailed that.

I think it's – yeah, nailed it. We got a message from Alan, and Alan says, by the way, talking about Amish inbreeding because we talked about handjobs with a flipper hand. One of the things he says, Tom, is that the Amish, and again, I don't know how true this is, but he says the Amish will pay you money, the daddies will pay you money, because they're so afraid of the inbreeding stuff, to come over and bang their daughter

to do a seed bearer thing. But you've got to fuck her through a hole in the sheet so you can't look at her in the face. But that turns out, that's my fetish. So I'm like, win-win. You know what I mean? The only question I have is do you offer benefits?

I mean, come on. Fuck her in a hole in the sheet. People put their dick through a glory hole, for Christ's sakes. At least you know what's on the other side here. Look, it's some fucking inbred Amish girl. I've done worse things. And I've done worse things that I've paid for. I've done worse things this afternoon.

I'm getting paid for this. Look, here's the other thing, Cecil. When I was in college and I was broke ass, I used to donate my plasma. Yeah. If I thought I could fucking spunk up an Amish girl for money, I'd be rich. I'd be rich. There's just a million short, angry Amish girls, Amish kids out there. Angry little Amish people.

They're all saying cunt too much. So we got a message from Mark who corrects us and lets us know that three quarters of our state grows winter wheat. Did you know that? I've driven this entire state. I have no idea. You have too. I've driven this state top to bottom three or four times. Also, I don't know what winter wheat is.

It feels un-American somehow. It feels like poverty food. Cut that out of there. It's so bad. It sounds like Eastern European poverty food. It sounds like, would you like another plate of slop? You know what I mean? I'm having more winter wheat.

I don't want any more winter wheat. My colon can't take it. Burn the winter wheat. Napoleon is coming. I'm like, okay, all right. We got a message from Stella, and Stella talks about some really expensive apps. One of them is $300 for a communication app directed at people with autism or people who aren't comfortable speaking properly. $900 a year for a security camera with controls on your phone, a $200 app that helps you pick bets because

you want support in your gambling habits. Why would you spend $200? I don't even know. That doesn't make any sense. Well, I don't understand the security camera one because that's free. You can buy a security camera. I have that. It's free.

There's another one called VIP Black that costs $1,000. that. It's free. And then there's another one called VIP Black that costs $1,000. It allows millionaires to do things like shopping to booking and comparing wealth or whatever. Comparing wealth? I love the idea of comparing wealth. Could you imagine if you go up

against Bill Gates and you're like, wah, wah. You're just like, oh, I got it, man. Let me pull out my wealthy app and see if I'm wealthier than other people do. It'd be great, actually, if it just showed the poor people nearby. It would be awesome if it was, like, location-based and you're, like, in a slum and you're just like, I am so much better than nearly everyone. It's like a Siri version. It's like, hello, can I find a poor person for you?

Siri, find poor person. It's like the mirror mirror for wealthy people. It's like, telephone, telephone in my hand. Am I the most wealthiest in the land? No, Bill Gates is way fucking wealthy. Are you dick bag? We get a message from someone who's willing to trade a shirt for a bottle of canadian garbage juice so that's exciting tom enjoy that i'm sure you'll pay you'll you're gonna pay that

out of that out of pocket right for the canadian garbage juice yeah you're gonna send that shirt out of pocket right yeah out of the pocket that we share where our collective money goes, then yes. We got a great image. This is from JR, and JR sent this image. This made me laugh. And I'm just going to post this on this week's show notes. This is episode 264. Check it out.

You're going to love it. It's very funny. We got a message from David Tom, and David says, just to note, I worked with the Saudi Navy until recently. All the gate guards still use those fucking fake pieces of shit bomb detector machines. That's terrifying. Isn't that amazing? Oh, my God. Like, they still use it.

That's how you get bombs. Do you want bombs? That's how you get bombs. We want to remind people that we have that Audible key. We're going to give it out next week. That Audible key is for the book Story of God by Chris Matheson. We have two copies that we can give away. We currently only have two entries in our Jim Baker contest.

So if you want to create a bumper for Jim Baker, 15 seconds is great. 30 seconds is the limit. Send us the audio file. We're going to listen to them and we're going to play the best ones and then we're going to give away, specifically give away the two keys next

time we record. And we think that's probably going to be sometime around the 12th. Right. On probably going to be sometime around the 12th. Right. On the 12th. Probably on the 12th. So it's a short show because we just recorded another whole show literally a few minutes before we recorded this one. So it's a short show this week.

The actual show is short this week. The bonus show that everyone got is an hour and a half of us yammering on forever. But this one is a short show this week. We will be back next week with another full episode. We're going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo-quasi-alternative Mommy issue. Hypno Babylon. Bullshit. Couched in. Scientician. Double bubble.

Toil and trouble. Pseudo quasi alternative. Acupunctuating. Pressurized. Stereogram. Pyramidal. Free energy. Healing.

Water. Downward spiral. Brain dead. Pan. Sales pitch. Late night. Info docutainment. Leo Pisces.

Cancer cures. Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards. Psychic healing. Crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

and healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music