Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 27: Festiwanzaholidamas

Episode Date: December 25, 2011

Psychic Fails: 2011 Failed and Forgotten Predictions, The $37.6 Million Dollar Fine HE Doesn’t Want You To Know About, 2012 Presidential Candidate Scorecard, Pope Benedict Peace Message Calls For Wealth Redistribution, Vatican Declares Boy's Recovery A 'Miracle', Dad who botched circumcision loses court appeal, Baby’s death shocks parents, EXPERIENCE HOW PROFESSIONAL BIGFOOT TRACKERS OPERATE IN WEEKEND EXPEDITIONS Clips: Kevin Trudeau, Ghost Busters, Jesus Camp, A Few Good Men.Michelle Bachmann. Review of our show: http://www.atheistunderworld.com/2011/12/22/cognitive-dissonance/ Visit our site: http://dissonancepod.com for all the stories and links

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. At the end of the year, we're normally inundated with a lot of predictions by psychics for the upcoming year, so this year I wanted to give out five quick predictions on what I think will happen in 2012. Another little person porn star will be found dead, but instead of a badger dead in Wales,

it will be an Aussie porn star trampled to death by a troop of kangaroos. Sarah Palin will refer to Ron Paul as Raoul Paul. Harold Camping will say that the world is going to end, and again, be mistaken, this time blaming a smudge on his bifocals. A popular male Republican will be caught in another sperm donation scandal. This time, he will be caught giving his sperm to another homosexual. And finally, Bill O'Reilly will tell his guests that they cannot explain the following things. Rain, thunder, wind, animal migratory instinct, tree knots, and kittens.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome, Matt. Everybody, this is a very special holiday episode. Festivus miracle episode. It is the miracle episode.

Of cognitive dissonance. I want to wish everybody a very merry happy holiday. Every episode is a miracle for us. Are you kidding me? It's a miracle. Anybody listens. That's the fucking miracle. That's the fucking miracle.

Yeah. I got a picture of baby Jesus with his fucking headphones on and cognitive dissonance queued up. Fucking awesome. Do not actually have that picture. Little baby Jesus. If anybody wants to Photoshop that picture, that's our new logo. Baby Jesus listening to Cognitive Dissonance.

It's like, hey, I do exist. That's just rude. That's just rude. So it's good of you, Cecil, to take a break from singing away in a manger this morning and do the show. It's Christmas of you, Cecil, to take a break from singing away in a manger this morning and do the show. It's Christmas Eve today. We are recording a day or two early, and this show may be a day or two late because of the government-mandated celebration of Christmas. Which, by the way, I will take because I got a day off of work. No kidding, right?

Government can mandate any kind of religious holiday as long as I get fucking off work for it, you know? Is there any way I can get all of Hanukkah and Ramadan too? I mean, I'll fucking take it. No kidding, man. I don't mind. There's no war on Christmas here, man. I'm going to have a fucking war on that turkey though, I'll tell you that. Declare war on that fucking prime rib.

Damn, I'm going to declare war on the toilet when I'm done. I'm 11. I'm 11. Keep it classy. Keep it classy, Tom. Cecil, you made some predictions. I did. I made a few predictions. We're talking – we have a story here.

This one is from relativelyinteresting.com. It's a blog and it's failed and forgotten predictions of 2011. Every year, the psychics come out with new predictions and every year they are fucking shockingly wrong. And this is a long article that lists a lot of predictions. Tom, before we get started in the article, though, I wanted to read some predictions that I think will happen and actually will happen in 2012. All right. Hit me up, Cecil. OK. Now get your hank up, Cecil. OK. Now get your hanky out because these are sad.

OK. So all of them are going to be sad. A child will be murdered through neglect as parents refuse medical care and instead pray for the child to get better. So we can almost certainly agree that that is going to happen in 2012. If history is any guide, sure. Yeah. Absolutely. that that is going to happen in 2012. If history is any guide, sure, yeah, absolutely. An ardent and popular anti-homosexual will be caught in an illicit homosexual

affair. That happens every week. That is going to happen. So often. It's happening right now, actually. Someone will be murdered by their religion to restore their honor. I mean, geez, that happened like every third week this last year. No kidding. It happens in Canada. It's going to happen again.

A southern state will pass a pro-religion bill. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty much, yeah. The South will do anything foolish, it turns out. I mean, they catch catfish with their hands, for God's sake. It's not. This one is a sad one.

A homosexual will lose their life because of their sexual preference. That seems to happen a lot more than once a year. It's more like a quarterly thing. Yeah. Who knows? Another species will go extinct because we hunt it for some part of its body used in a magic ritual. And or a human will go extinct. Oh, that is happening all over the place.

Yeah, that's happening right now. They're killing albinos like crazy for magic powders. Yeah, they're very full of magic. They should have watched Powder. They're full of magic. I don't know if you knew. They're just fucking brimming with magic. The U.S. court system will put somebody to death.

That happens quite a bit. And the religious will say a natural disaster is God's work. And that's probably going to happen within the next two months. Well, I mean religious – the thing is that I'm not sure, Cecil, on that last one that they're going to get an opportunity because we're coming into 2012 and we all know the world is going to end. Oh, that's right. December 21st, 2012. Wait, December 21st? It's going to end on like the equinox or whatever or the solstice, whichever one that is?

Yeah, I think that's fucking rude. That's my kid's birthday. Can't we fucking put that – although I guess I don't have to buy presents. So that's nice. I would put up – be like, we're going to give you your presents, but don't worry. We're going to do it later. Right. And just tell them that later in the day we'll get you the presents.

As the clock goes to strike. Although I don't know if it's going to happen at central time or, you know, I think it would be Greenwich Mean Time. No, I think it's going to be Herald Campings where each time zone of the world is going to end individually. Like in succession. It's like destroying the earth in like orange slice peels. It's like one of those Christmas orange chocolate things.

Right. God's going to hit it, clunk, and then he's going to start peeling off the pieces of the orange. Will he do like I do where he eats like half of it and is like, this tastes like regret. What am I doing this for? It tastes like oily chocolate, orange, and regret. Yeah, exactly. Or it's in regret. Yeah, exactly.

So getting into some of these psychic predictions from last year, some of these are – I can't believe. If you just come at these, Tom, let's just say I was going to pretend I was a psychic for an afternoon. I would come at these at least with some sort of knowledge about current events and possible future events. Right, right. of knowledge about current events and possible future events right right but if you were to do that you would come at it rationally yeah and you wouldn't be a fucking psychic right so you can see the problem you can understand the disconnect we have here cecil it's not possible for you to both be a rational human being and pretend that you're a psychic right right because this is dress up for money you know this is you just you're a fucking shyster here's one that just fucking i just read it and i was like shut the fuck up you didn't predict that the first brain transplant will take place i saw

brain transplants what i need a donor body stat what which? Which part? The whole body. It's the fucking head that wouldn't die. It's like, fucking big monster. Give me a break. Are you kidding me? You know, I actually heard that they tried that, but they couldn't get the lightning to strike it. Yeah. To reanimate it. It's not alive.

The psychic said this would work. Give me a break. Some of these are so ridiculous, though. You read it and you're like, at least the guy, there's a guy at the end, Tom, this Sidney Friedman, who he's so wishy-washy, first off, where he's like, I hope this doesn't happen. I know. But at least he predicts some that at least have some specificity. I know. But at least he predicts some that at least have some specificity. Whereas the other ones, I mean, these first couple, it's just a real simple sort of open suggestion saying that an earthquake is going to happen in the ring of fire.

That's easy and open. Right, right. It's not a prediction. It's not a prediction any more than like, I will eat a breakfast. Yeah. Yeah, I fucking eat a lot of breakfast. I'm very fat yeah you know like person also i have eaten my sheriff breakfast too

that's not a prediction that's a goddamn certainty you dimwit i like psychic nicky on this page because psychic nicky's just batshit crazy i like you know uh she's the one with the brain transplant right gold rush will occur in Hawaii? Yeah, that's just fucking. How would that even happen? Hawaii was, it's a fucking volcanic island. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. The Playboy Mansion is going to burn down too, she said.

Right. Really? That's your news? Look, it's already hot in there, okay? It's on fire! But there's several of these that just don't make any sense. But, Tom, I think my favorite part of the article is the end of the article. Yeah, the forgotten predictions, the things that they didn't predict.

Cecil, was there anything from 2011, let's say, that they did not predict that was a big fucking deal? You know, one that they could have easily predicted was the tornadoes across the midwest and southeastern u.s you would think those would leave a psychic impression i think that's a pretty not only is that a it's a pretty easy one to predict just right now i'm gonna say right now there's gonna be a tornado in the midwest next right you know there's gonna be because you know what that's a fucking tornado generator that's what it does it generates the tornadoes right right in tornado alley yeah there will be tornadoes happen to call it tornado alley so that one i see on here and i'm like but these other ones that are on here uh one of them that that sort of stands out to me death of

amy winehouse yeah well right they're always predicting celebrity deaths. Yeah. I mean, that's just kind of standard. But they don't predict this one. They don't predict Kim Jong-il, Gaddafi, or Bin Laden. Those were sort of notable figures from 2011. Bad year, by the way, for tyrants. 2011, not your best year if you're a tyrant. Steve Jobs, too. You forgot him.

Hey-o. I'm recording on a Mac. It's going to shut down on you. The Japanese earthquake, huge one. But they always predict ring of fire earthquakes. Well, right, because it's like I will predict an earthquake in an area that is prone to earthquakes like every day i used to have an app on my phone i had an android phone for a while i had an app that was just called earthquake exclamation point and you look on it every day and see where

earthquakes were and there were earthquakes every single day there was about 20 earthquakes a day across the globe of varying magnitude. Right, right. So predicting an earthquake on Earth turns out is not a thing. Right. That's not a thing. It's like I predict sunsets and sunrises. Exactly. And birds will sing. Like, fuck you in the ear.

The tides will go in. The tides will go out. Can't explain that. You can't explain it. Never miscommunication. Yeah. Penn State abuse scandal. That sort of caused a rift. How about the Arab Spring? No, that one didn't. I could see how they missed that. That was just a tiny little blip. Blip on the radar, right? Yeah. Who noticed?

The last one is the Tucson, Arizona shooting rampage that they missed. That seems to me, of all the ones on here, you know, that are here that are – you could blow off the Japan earthquake and tsunami because they would probably predict something like that. But if you're a psychic, right, don't you see like the deaths of people and like specifically that one, the Arizona shooting rampage just out of nowhere? One would think so, but they don't see any of this shit because psychics aren't fucking real. What? I know. I know. I'm sorry to break your heart, Cecil.

I'm so sorry. Gosh. I know our listeners were – I'm going to feel terrible until Santa comes later. Listeners are spiking their iPods on the ground right now. I can't believe it. They're spiking them right on baby Jesus. That's how he's getting all those iPods, right?

Free iPods. Acetaminophen was just in the news recently. And people were dying. Dying by taking acetaminophen that's in Tylenol or Theraflu or NyQuil. Dying. And you at the manufacturer said, oh, more people die by taking an aspirin. Yeah, did you know that 5,000 people a year die by taking a single dose of aspirin every year? And almost 5,000 die by taking a single dose of acetaminophen,

which is the ingredient in Tylenol or Theraflu. Why? Because one of the side effects of those over-the-counter safe drugs is death. The side effect of the drug you're taking for cholesterol, my cousin's one of them, is paralysis. And thousands of people every year are in wheelchairs because they did what their doctor said,

took a drug. And this is an article from Discover Magazine. Kevin Trudeau, people might know him as the asshat who wrote a book, 86 Jillian Medical Secrets Your Doctor Doesn't Want You to Know or whatever. He's made up just a fucking crapload of money over the past several years marketing these homeopathic, homemade bullshit cures for everything from cancer to toe fungus. And he has just gotten, he lost his appeal, and he has been fined, Cecil, $37.6 million.

I don't really think that that's that big a deal because I scroll down the article and they say in here he's built a billion dollar empire on false claims. Yeah, he's still going to be extraordinarily rich. But here's what I don't understand about a guy like this. billion dollars and you know you're getting in all kinds of heat from you know groups fcc just stop doing the thing they told you to stop doing you're already so fucking rich why are you continuing with this line of of of money making scheme you know what i mean i don't understand these people that are they're, man. And they're just like, yeah, I'm going to keep doing this dangerous foolhardy thing so I can make more money. What is it at a billion dollars? What is left that you're like, man, I'm saving up.

Saving up. Haven't hit that magic number. Can't buy the moon yet. Can't purchase the rest of Japan yet. I don't understand that. I understand why I go to work every day, right? I go to work every day because I need money to eat a food. And I eat a lot of food. So I need a lot of money. This guy's, I don't understand it. $37.6 million. You're right. It's a drop in the bucket.

I don't understand how this book makes money. This book was actually a gift to me one time. Somebody got this book for me and I flipped through it and I could not believe the shit that was in here. And all it is, all this book is, is an advertisement to send you to his website to buy stuff. That's all it is. It's just a book to redirect you. It would be awesome as an e-book because everything would just go lead back to a website. It's ridiculous.

The Kindle edition should be free, right? And what I love – yeah, I know. Why not just publicize it and be like, hey, it's a free e-book. You get a free e-book that doctors don't want you to know about. But what it is is it's this conspiracy that doctors somehow have it out for you and only like these natural remedies are what is the big – is what can actually fix you. All the doctors are doing is like poisoning you. And you hear that all the time about like how doctors are giving you pills to poison you and they're basically hurting you so that you come back. It's like fixing the car so that after 3,000 miles, the oil turns to shit. So you got to come back every 3,000 miles or something, right?

There's some sort of conspiracy in there. And none of that shit ever made any sense to me when doctors, I guess you just, the human body is made to fucking fail, man. It's made to get fucked up. It's made to get fucked up. It's made to get hurt. We do shit all the time to hurt ourselves and fuck ourselves up and we treat our body like shit and then we're just like, why doesn't it run perfectly all the time? Right. Right. Well, you know, I heard just this week at work, you know, somebody was like, yeah, that chemotherapy will kill you.

And I had to. I had no choice. So does the cancer. The cancer will do it first if you ignore it. Yeah, no kidding. You know, but you hear that all the time. Like, oh choice. I'm like, the cancer will do it first if you ignore it. Yeah, no kidding. But you hear that all the time. Like, oh, man, it wasn't the cancer. It was the chemotherapy that killed him.

Oh, yeah. Really? No. The chemotherapy might have been fucking awful to endure. And maybe it didn't even help. It's possible. But you fucking had chemotherapy because you have cancer. It's not like you go to the doctor and like, you know, you look good.

You look good. Want some chemotherapy? Really? For no fucking reason at all? No. That's a preventative measure. Yeah. We're going to give you chemo.

Yeah. We're trying it out for acne. You have acne. I actually have just one zit. Yeah. Well, fucking fuck you. Chemotherapy. Six months.

That doesn't happen. They give it to you because you have just one zit. Yeah. Well, fucking fuck you. Chemotherapy, six months. That doesn't happen. They give it to you because you have cancer, man. You had two stitches and you're going to get your chemotherapy. Right. Right. Okay. Flu shot and chemo. Yeah.

Like what? This is a terrible place. I'm not coming back here. That doesn't happen. But you hear that shit all the time because it's like people are more comfortable blaming the treatment method than they are blaming the disease because the treatment method is designed by a person. They can hate a person. They can hate an organization. How are you going to hate like, well, I'm very unhappy with rampant cell growth, right?

I mean, I'm so dissatisfied with unregulated cell division. I mean that just doesn't work. doctors, they went to the hospital, something was wrong and they were put into a coma and then they died. And they blamed it on being put into a coma. And I was just thinking to myself, I'm like, you know, they went to a hospital for a reason. Right. And the doctors probably didn't just willy-nilly decide. They don't just walk down, like, roll a die or throw a dart. You know what I'm just like, you know what?

We got to pick somebody on this floor who's going into a coma today, goddammit. Like, they have procedures that they're following. And to not understand those procedures and to just blame a doctor because he's trying to help somebody, that's the thing I don't understand is the pushback against the medicine in this country. I understand to be frustrated when somebody dies and I understand when somebody is sick and ill and it feels like there's nothing you can do because maybe the doctors don't know. I understand that there's some frustration there. But I think that's kind of refreshing when doctors don't know. You go to the doctor because shit went fucking wrong. Right.

And to blame the guy who can't fix it. It would be like if – Cecil, the analogy would be like if you said, hey, I need some help. Can you help me? Yeah, I will try my best to help you. Okay. Well, you didn't help me enough. Well, I'm sorry. I tried my best to help you.

I tried everything within my fucking limited power as a human being to fucking help you. Right. Well, it's your fault. No, you came to me with the problem first. Yeah. The problem was the genesis man you know and i'm not just saying i'm not saying that there's never any medical errors or what have you certainly that exists absolutely i mean it's not the norm and it's not a conspiracy

if it was a conspiracy you'd have to believe like well all these doctors just want to make sure that grandma dies and their wives die and their and their kids die and because their kids are going to get sick and their wives are going to get sick. Like we all go through the same system. We all have the same – so if you're suggesting that this evil cabal of doctors is getting together, we're going to get rich and poison America, including our own loved ones. Well, that's the purpose of this book. The other thing too is that this book has all the answers, right? Like I said earlier, it's refreshing.

I mean, obviously, it's depressing as fuck when you're the victim of somebody saying, I don't know what's wrong with you. Obviously, that fucking sucks giant donkey balls. Get me. I fucking get it. But it's also, I think, a symptom of it being a scientific thing. They're saying, I don't know what's wrong with you. They're not, they're willing to wager guesses and tell you that those are guesses instead of just saying, I know exactly what's wrong with you. And all you have to do is eat

this fucking turmeric root and you're going to be fine. Right, right. Yeah. Well, you know, what's, what's wrong with people according to this book all the time is they have a, an, a lack of apple cider vinegar in their diet. Oh yeah. I mean, gosh, you know, what's wrong with people, according to this book, all the time is they have a lack of apple cider vinegar in their diet. Oh, yeah. I mean, gosh, everybody needs a little more vinaigrette, I think. You know, the hard thing is whisking it in your mouth. Let me tell you, I have a steak au poivre problem in my diet. That's what I need a lot more of.

Yeah, I wish one of these cures was just pot roast. Yeah, demi-glace. We're going to have to pour gravy in your mouth. Oh, God, I hate the cure. Oh, I love the cure so much. Oh, man, what I wouldn't give to be one of those foie gras geese, you know, just live my whole life with an open mouth and a funnel. You know, just live my whole life with an open mouth and a funnel. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out are they pro-America or anti-America.

So the Secular Coalition for America put out their 2012 presidential candidate scorecard. See, so this was pretty interesting, I thought, actually. It ranks Bachman, Gingrich, Huntsman, Obama, Paul, Perry, Romney, and Santorum. Some of these cats did not do very well. Yeah, I think if you look at this scorecard, you could probably rule out – and this is an important caveat. If you're voting based on freedom from religion and sort of the secular – the way in which these candidates treat the secular world and views towards non-theists and such, then you might want to throw out right away, right off the bat, Perry and Bachman, because they got Fs all the way down the board. Gingrich and Santorum did no better with one C and the rest Fs.

Romney, actually, Paul did the second, near the worst, too. He's got like one B, a couple's and the rest f's and then uh huntsman obama did the best with romney kind of a little bit behind them yeah huntsman now huntsman had a lot of nas which means that they didn't have enough information right because he's not going anywhere well you know and that's that's a disappointment because i've i've i've heard huntsman and i've i've seen what Huntsman – he put out a Twitter thing at one point. It was like, hey, just for the record, you know, I believe in evolution and global warming. It's like, great.

You're not going to have any fucking traction in the Republican Party. You're not crazy enough. Right. You don't have your fucking crazy tinfoil hat on. So no traction for you. Sorry, dude. So Huntsman, you know, he might be somebody to consider, but there's so little information you can't even know where he stands on a variety of issues. Given the other A's and B's, though, one would have to think that he's probably.

Yeah, I would imagine. I mean, he's got four N.A.'s, and the only other N.A. comes on a Perry one. And the reason why, I think, is because, you know, you just don't have the information. But you got to imagine when he's like taxpayer funding of religion. I don't think that he would be different than, say, Paul or Obama on that. endorsements and association uh it's an na so he doesn't endorse or associate supposedly i guess they don't know so i would say that's an a right off the bat right you know at least it's things like you know the thing is like it's it's the ones that are that aren't so blatantly anti-science like you know you look at like scientifically based regulations and legislation like that's kind of key because science is a real fucking thing. Yeah.

And if you're going to make decisions, you're going to make fucking policy decisions for 370 million people in this country. Let's do that based on fucking solid evidence. Well, only the sane ones were anywhere near C, though. Like the ones that I think that I would vote for for Huntsman, Obama, Paul and Romney. Those are the only ones that actually voted on that one. Well, I seem like they would be ones I would follow. The other ones are all F's just like F, F, F, F. And I look at this and all I can think is like this. This demonstrates so well the dichotomy between these folks. Right. Like how, how, how far apart certain candidates

are from each other, you know, cause it's, it, it's not like everybody's averaging at a C, you know, if you're, if you've got one F you've kind of got a lot of Fs, you know, you're, you're way off the fucking board. And I think at some point the candidates are forced. I don't know if they're forced or if this is just the candidates that get chosen. But you have to take these sort of extremist positions in order to gather support from extremist people. Ron Paul's an anomaly, I think. He's got four Fs and the rest, the other five are Cs and Bs.

Yeah, he's got some Fs on some, I don't understand how you can have a C for scientifically based regulations and legislation, but an F for accepts evolution. Yeah, I don't get it either. I don't know. I'm not sure how that works.

We've talked about that with him. Yeah. We've said that about him. I have a clip of him saying, I don't believe in evolution. And he doesn't see where it's relevant. I remember there's a part where he's like, I don't see how that's relevant. I'm like, I fucking perfectly see how it's relevant. If you don't accept evolution, there's a lot of other stuff I suspect you don't accept. Well, sure. And it's like, well, that's the basis for biology. That's a big deal in biology. Right.

To understand how one thing changes as a result of pressures. Like I don't – it's baffling. It's fucking baffling. But this is an interesting scorecard, and I think we'll put it up, a link to it on our site and people can check it out. And if these are things that you're concerned about, and I imagine if you're listening to this show that they probably are, you can check out and see where your candidates stand on these issues. I wouldn't – obviously people who listen to this show are smart enough to realize this. So I'm probably speaking to no one.

But I would caution people not to just use this as the only tool in which to vote for someone. just use this as the only tool to vote for someone. You know, obviously there's going to be people out there, though, that are on the other side of this, that there's probably a, you know, whatever it is, religious scorecard where a lot of these people are getting all A's. Bachman and Perry are getting all A's. Oh, sure. And somebody's saying you should vote for them. And they are going to use that as the only test for which to vote for someone.

So in order to, I think, be a lot a lot more intelligent than that and a lot more reason than that, you're going to want to consider this, but also consider other things, other things that are important to you as a U.S. citizen. It's like it's always been the little women that caught the vision of giving, beginning with Jesus himself, out of their private means. Some of you little precious ones have that little grocery money, some of that little money set aside. Assure tonight the blessings of God on your family by giving it to God and speaking that. Say it, God, this is for blessings on my family. So Pope Benedict released his peace message recently. And as part of that, he implored people to create a more just and peaceful world requires adequate mechanisms for the redistribution of wealth. This article comes from the Huffington Post.

I love the image they chose where he's basically covered in gold, holding a great big gold cross. Big pulpin. I looked it up and the Vatican's wealth is somewhere between 10 and 15 billion. 10 and 15 billion dollars. So if you wanted to redistribute some wealth, you could always start at the Vatican. What if you just gave up like a third of that? Yeah. That would be a lot of money.

Just a third of that. Yeah. That would be about $5 billion. Three to five. Three to five, right? Sure. You look at this, Cecil, and you think like if you really wanted to do this, you could fund – fund with five billion dollars you could probably fund and achieve a cure for something like malaria you know a vaccine for malaria for five

billion dollars yeah you could probably tip that you could probably tip that over you could probably five billion dollars imagine how much good five fucking billion dollars would do for AIDS research or for AIDS prevention in Africa. What about agriculture creation, right? Right. Irrigation, water, finding clean water for people all over the world. Just put five billion dollars towards finding clean water for people that need it the most regardless of religion. I would imagine that the true wealth of the Vatican is probably higher. You know, if they were to hold a fucking garage sale tomorrow, there would be people clamoring to get in.

Like if they start – if they put the signs up all over the neighborhood like Vatican garage sale, 7 a.m. Saturday, I'm guessing. You can't do it on Sunday. They're busy. Well, yeah. That's fucking rude. That's God's day. How dare you? You can't work.

Who will work? God can't watch the register, the little cash box in the corner. They'd have to get atheists to actually run the yard sale that day. God's out there with a megaphone. He's like, get your fucking paintings here. Get your priceless paintings here. Sistine Chappels.

I got some Sistine Chappels. I mean, I'm guessing people would overpay for a lot of this shit. Right? No, you gotta talk them down, I think. Oh, this is for charity? Will you do half?

Yeah. You know, people would probably, imagine how much one of those Pope rings would go for. Gosh, could you imagine? I would fucking totally buy the hat. If I could buy the hat, I would wear that hat everywhere, too. That ring has got to be like Green Lantern's ring. You know it is. Form of the Pope.

Or how much would a Popemobile go for on, like, auto trader? I don't know, man. I imagine you could get a fair buck for that. You know what you could do, because it's bulletproof, is you could send it to fucking Afghanistan. Since we couldn't evidently spend the money to bulletproof the Humvees for the first four years. Yeah, you just have like one patrol and it goes like two miles an hour.

But they're all shootout and they can't get through. What have they done? It is protected by Allah. I'm giving her all she's got, Captain. If I had that Pope ring, I would fucking make everybody kiss it. Everybody. Fucking everybody. I'd be like, hey, hey, fuck you, dude.

Pope ring. I'd be going to, like, Protestant churches and making them kiss it. Are you kidding me? Yeah. I'd show up at fucking synagogue and be like, hey, kiss the ring. Kiss the fucking ring. I'd go to the fucking Reason Rally and make people do it. I would dress every day in Pope gear.

Oh, my God. That's what I'm saying. The hat and the robes. Priceless. First off, you get seated everywhere first at a restaurant. No matter what. When you walk in, you're like the first one seated. And they put you right by the window so you get the best seat in the house because everybody wants to come.

Hey, the Pope's here. Come on. Let's get a pizza. And that staff, like they should have like – you've seen that show Wipeout. They should have like those staff jousting with those cross staffs made of gold. That staff is actually a zombie survival guide staff. That's true. A lot of people don't know that.

Yeah, they don't know that. But that was created specifically for the zombie apocalypse. Blades shoot out of that thing in every direction. They've actually lost more. Like, waited really heavily at one end to crush the zombie skull. They've lost more aids to the Pope that way. It just had a random, they accidentally pressed the button and fucking knives shoot out. Oh, fuck.

They need another young priest, preferably from an African country. How dare you call for a redistribution of wealth when you're worth $15 billion. That's fucking crazy. That's like Bill Gates being like, you know what? All you other fucking rich people should fucking give your money to the poor people while I fucking eat this cake. Right. This large cake made of billion dollar bills. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. So the Vatican is also making some, I mean, the Vatican is just nothing but a good decision

machine these days. They've declared a miracle. A five-year-old boy hit his face while playing basketball and ended up getting that flesh-eating bacteria. This is a story from NPR. The flesh-eating bacteria is just awful. It fucking did what it sounds like. It ate his flesh.

They thought he was going to die and he ended up recovering. The Vatican decided that this was a miracle because of a relic of Kateri who is evidently a – not a saint but going to be a saint. Blessed. Yeah. Blessed. Right before you become a saint in the Catholic Church, you have to be blessed, what they call blessed, so that they vote on what they call your beatification. So your beatification comes first. And if you become beatified, you become blessed.

And then later they would vote to make you a saint. Which is like a diet saint right now. Yeah, it's like saint light. Yeah, I got you. Sure. You know, look at this guy. Look at this kid's parents. He was going to be a beautiful kid. Yeah. You know, look at this guy. Look at this kid's parents. He was going to be a beautiful kid.

Yeah. I mean, look at his parents. You're like, holy cow. Good looking people. Good looking people. This poor kid, half his face is gone. It's terrible. It's a terrible story.

It's an awful story. But, you know, I think what the problem is is that religious people, I think, are getting pissed off because science is proving all their different myths wrong. So now they're just going to start claiming when science does something, they're just going to claim and be like, hey, it was religion. Fuck you. Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. Because, you know, if you read the if you read these stories, it's like the boy is in a first world hospital. He's had nine surgeries before he starts getting better keep in mind he's at the fucking hospital he's obviously getting you know all the benefit of of all kinds of modern medicine you know he's getting the benefits of of of the surgeons of the doctors the nurses on staff he's getting all the benefits of modern science and modern technology and then when somebody shows up with a fucking relic from

a mohawk indian from 350 years ago who happened to convert to catholicism and they lay it on his bedside and by fucking sheer chance that's the day his medical condition starts to turn around instead of looking at the doctors and the nurses and the staff of the hospital and the fucking 150 years of medical science that has gotten us this far and the antibiotics that he's certainly taking and the nine surgeries that he's fucking had to remove damaged tissue and the fact that we can even identify what's wrong with him at this point in science instead of looking at all of those things and saying thanks doctors you guys saved my kid's life.

You look at this fucking dusty fucking relic and you throw your hands to the sky and start giving praise to Jeebus. Really? Because where was Jeebus when you hit your fucking face on the basketball hoop? A minor inconsequential injury and almost fucking died from it. Was he on fucking lunch break when that happened? Well, Satan was humping that hoop earlier. That's true. That's what happens.

That is actually where strep A comes from. It's Satan jizz. Yeah. Just all over the – and it's funny because it's all over the place. What has he done to this place? He's an excited guy. And he's got time. He does.

He has a lot of time. This Reverend Elizondo, I guess, is the devil's advocate if he needs some help on fucking disproofing this you know geez just give us a call it's real easy to disprove just be like well let's let's not just fucking again you know this is the argument from ignorant show right it's like like even if you can't point to the moment the medicine or whatever started working even though there's clear evidence there's a lot of different medical procedures going on that are trying, that are actually actively trying to make this child's condition improve. You're going to overstep that and just be like, I don't know. It was the fucking metal that was next to him.

Yeah. Right. That's what caused it. That was the trick. I don't know. I think maybe it was the fucking nine surgeries. Right. The team of surgeons and doctors that worked feverishly to save his life.

Yeah. Bah. It was magic. It was magic. Magic from the sky. Right, right. See, so we're going to go ahead and take a short break and give you all the information you need to phone call us and text us and chat us and email us and facebook us and

twitter us and uh you know the more of this that you do the more unbelievably wealthy we become and we can't begin to distribute our wealth because now, our wealth redistribution is pretty minimal. I'm not going to lie to you guys. Right, admittedly. But if you follow these simple plans we're going to lay out, i.e. tell your friends,

then we will be able to distribute wealth back to you. No actual wealth distribution implied. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. For more information on this or any other episode, visit the Cognitive Dissonance

website, dissonancepod.com. Like our show on Facebook to join in the conversation. Just search for Cognitive Dissonance in Facebook or go to our website for the link. You can converse with us on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is at dissonance underscore pod. Help us out by retweeting and reposting our shows. You can call us and leave us a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. Your help is fucking greatly appreciated. Long distance rates apply. Your help is fucking greatly appreciated. So Cecil, this is a story that comes from CBC.

Dad who botched circumcision loses court appeal. Yeah, this is pretty ridiculously sad. A BC man performed a circumcision on his four-year-old son on the kitchen floor of his home. And he lost an appeal of that conviction. Fucking good. You maimed your kid's dick. What did the kid lose? I mean, you lost your appeal, but what did the kid lose? Right.

Yeah. Right. He did this because he wanted to make his son right with God. How is it possible for me to do this story without my legs crossed. I mean, like I'm sitting here right now, just like completely like bent over covering, you know, protectively covering my genital area from nothing. Right. You know, this story is is is pretty horrifying. And and the thing is that like this guy, there was nothing in his religious convictions that meant that he had to circumcise his kid himself. The reason he did it himself is because nobody else would fucking do it.

That's why he wouldn't do it himself. They're like this. It would require that your son go under general anesthesia to do it. It's not worth the risk. So we're not going to allow your kid to be circumcised. Nobody would circumcise him. Well, if the fucking doctor tells you, yeah, we're not going to fucking circumcise your kid. I'm not going to perform a medical procedure on your kid. You don't go home and take a fucking kitchen knife

to your kid's penis, dude. That is not how that works. And like you said, I'm going to read directly from the CBC article here. It says court documents say the man gave alcohol to the boy referred to only by his initials DJ and used a blade that was not as sharp as a surgical instrument. I don't know if you can hear me leaning forward a little bit now.

To staunch the bleeding, the man used a veterinary powder suitable only for livestock. This kid hates his kid this guy hates his kid man i mean it's fucking obvious you hate your child yeah you'd have to hold your kid down i don't i don't even understand i'm it is it is fucking inconceivable genuinely inconceivable to maim your kid's genitals because you have some fucking bizarre religious conviction that demands that your kid's foreskin be sacrificed to God.

You're fucking sacrificing bits of penis. You people are fucking insane. I simply cannot believe in 2011 that there's any need to go through this barbaric ritual? What are you cutting off body parts to give to Jesus for? Or whoever your god is. I'm assuming. I shouldn't have assumed. It probably is, though.

I mean, do the other ones, I don't know, does Thor say you should put your penis on a cutting board and slap it with a hammer? That would not be a thing I would do. That's why there's no more Vikings, actually. They fucking weeded themselves out? and slap it with a hammer? That would not be a thing I would do. That's why there's no more Vikings, actually. They just like, uh-oh, fuck that. They either fucking gave, they converted as soon as they had the opportunity. Right, okay, they're like, well, all I gotta do is cut a little ring off of that thing?

Yeah, fucking A, man. Dun and done. Yeah, I don't want fucking Mr. Beaver penis anymore. Fuck that. What does God do with all these things? Does he fry them up like pork skins? I mean, what does he need all these things for? You can't fry them up. They gotta cook long

and slow in order to get the... They're like God's Funyuns. He braises these, so they have a wonderful mouthfeel, I hear. If you overcook them, they're like bad calamari. Yeah, just like little fucking rubber bands. Who's got cocktail socks? Cocktail!

Hey-o! Oh, that's terrible. This poor kid's fucking penis is deformed now. Yeah. It said the doctor said his penis was badly deformed. That's because you performed surgery on your kitchen floor. That's never the place for surgery.

Like, if you're wondering, I think we should have, like, a checklist, right? Like, a little flow chart. Should I perform the surgery? Yes, no. Am I on kitchen floor? Yes, no. Am I using a dull kitchen knife? Yes, no. Am I using a dull kitchen knife?

Yes. No. Do I have veterinary power suitable only for livestock? Is any part of – You might as well have like fucking paid a dog to lick it closed. You know what I mean? Like what exactly you – like powder. First off, veterinary powder.

Can you imagine the burn that must have ensued from that? Didn't I mention that I'm hunched over this entire story? And a four-year-old is like, you know, I don't really think there's any reason to circumcise babies, but at least babies don't form long-term memories. This kid's going to remember this. At four, you're forming long-term memories. I guarantee this is one of those memories. This isn't something that escapes your fucking attention. This is one of those things where you're like in college years later and like getting it.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. My dad's a religious zealot who fucking force-fed me alcohol, held me down on the kitchen floor, and used a dull knife to circumcise me. So my junk don't look good. You still want to party i i you don't have to be a psychic to predict that uh there's going to be some sexual problems in this person's right yeah insecurity much yeah you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth i don't understand this one cecil you have to introduce the story i simply don't have the ability to truth. I don't understand this one. Cecil, you have to introduce the story. I simply don't have the ability to do it.

I don't even know where Cebu is. It's in the Philippines. You're in the Philippines. How do you like that? What I love about the story, and we're going to share the link. What I love about the story, it's from the Sun Star Cebu. And what I love about the story is that everything in quotes they didn't translate. I know. So what it looks like to me is the story, the background of the story is that everything in quotes they didn't translate so what it looks

like to me is the story the background of the story is this it's a newborn was a newborn was found by his parents was seen by his parents with blood oozing from his mouth and nose and his navel swelled up with marks that looked like it had been drained

and somebody had come into the house and saw like this blood all over. And they're like, what happened here? I love this sentence. Virgil made a stopover, and stopover is one word, at his daughter's house on his way to go fishing. And go fishing is one word. What do I do? Go fishing.

What I think really happened here, now you've got to read between the lines, but follow me. This was actually a ritual killing for Cthulhu. If you read here, you have to read – you got to read – let me just read this out loud. I may actually summon him, but it says, You see? Now, that is fucking right out of the Necronomicon. I guarantee it. Right out of the Necronomicon. I guarantee it. Right out of the Necronomicon.

It's like page seven. This story is, I don't even know why you would bother writing this story in English if you don't translate any of the fucking. Love that all the words are in different way, all the fucking quotes. And then they, but the thing is they do translate some of it. Sure, sure. At the very end, they sort of randomly translate. So they've got like one thing that's like, I haven't heard of a ghoul on Christmas, but there is on the holy week, he said. What?

And the one above it here, it says, And then it says, We will at least try our best to come up with a conclusion. Well, OK. Why are you writing it sometimes only in the native language, sometimes in the native language and English? The rest of the article is in English. You don't know when to use the space bar. I have to say, Cecil, I'm very disappointed in the Sun Star of Cebu, and I will not be renewing my subscription.

The problem is Cthulhu wrote the article. He has webbing between his hands when he's typing. It's really hard to actually hit that space bar. You know, like you can have free movement of your thumbs, but imagine if you had webbing in there. It's a lot harder to do. It would be difficult. You actually strike the keys a lot. Well, sure. And then the tentacles are

hanging on the keyboard and what are you going to do? Your face tentacles are typing away for you. Those things writhe no matter what you do. You cannot stop them from doing that. I haven't heard of a ghoul on Christmas. Ghoul on Christmas. But there is on the Holy Week. Your Holy Week involves ghouls?

Well, I don't understand this at all. Like on Christmas, you're like, whoo, breathe a sigh of relief. Oh, everybody relax. It's a ghoul-free Christmas. No ghouls today. When is the Holy Week, Cecil? Do you know when the Holy Week is? Is that a thing?

I don't know when the Holy Week is. They're talking. Again, it's Cthulhu, and I'll tell you why it's this. However, one of Kimberly's aunts who lived nearby saw bloodstains on their rooftop. Is she the only one that saw the bloodstains to the rest of the like they were invisible to everyone else? Could you not independently verify the bloodstains? Only one person saw bloodstains. There's a fucking dead baby involved and people aren't looking for bloodstains

at least the police though what were they i mean if it wasn't a ghoul they were fucking like playing roll the baby off the top of the fucking roof i don't understand what you're doing but but that's where they actually go up they're like spiders they take them up to their nest on their roof yeah at least the police don't believe it because it says the the police of this city refuse to believe that the death of the baby involved a paranormal creature, which is better than some of the other stories we get where they're like, it might have been a paranormal creature. Right. Well, it was like that one where like authorities blamed a ghost for – Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. When the authorities are blaming the supernatural, your fucking system is fucked up. Yeah. Authorities are blaming the supernatural. Your fucking system is fucked up. Yeah. Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the theory of Atlantis?

If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. And Cecil, this is actually my new career choice, this next story this is from a good one yeah well you know i'm a fucking genius this is skeptic.com um experience how professional bigfoot trackers operate in weekend expeditions evidently people take weekend expeditions to go find Bigfoot paid hundreds of dollars to a guide to take them into the forest and not see Bigfoot. I can, listeners, listen to me. I will pay, you guys can pay me virtually any sum of money and I will take you places to not see Bigfoot.

I will take you, I don't care where you live. I guarantee that I will take you someplace to not see Bigfoot. I will take you. I don't care where you live. I guarantee that I will take you someplace to not see Bigfoot in your hometown. I can take you someplace to not see Bigfoot at your local mall. I can take you anywhere to not see Bigfoot. If you are going to accompany Tom anywhere, please bring a GPS. That's all I'm saying. I have no sense. I would get just killed.

Tom would be. You guys would be the next Blair Witch Project. Tom would be standing in the corner somewhere. He'd be like, you're the guide. You've been walking around the same tree in a circle for an hour. No, Tom would come back a couple weeks later and be like, where are all those people? I fucking ate them. What are you kidding me?

It could – we had a little doner party up there. Hey, man, you think I'm going to eat berries? What are you, fucked? I think that there's some money to be made, though. We could do some tours. I mean, you do some tours around town. Take them over to go see that Resurrection Mary over at the cemetery over there. You go, well, there's no promise, no guarantee we're going to see her, but pay me 500 fucking dollars.

I will stand with anybody in front of a mirror and we can do Bloody Mary. Say Candyman a bunch of times. Yeah, we can do Candyman, Bloody Mary. You're mirror ghost of choice. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I will take you on a mirror expedition. Yeah. We can do it any time, day or night.

It doesn't matter to me. The prices are very high though. I mean like I'm kind of ridiculous, but I'm good. That's the thing. Tom says Candyman five times like nobody else. Yeah. Nobody else. Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman.

Ah, he's dead. All right, so I'm going to finish the show up since Tom is dead. You need a new co-host. Candyman. Candyman. Terry, he's got a deep voice, though. Admittedly, he's got a nice, deep voice. Oh, yeah, Candyman would be fucking tits on this show, man.

It would be awesome. Except for he has to disappear every time somebody says his name. Yeah. So he's kind of unreliable. Fuck! I put aside the time to record, you asshole! Dude, I got to go. I got to go put this hook in someone's neck.

I got to go hang some kids by their neck with this hook. Bigfoot expeditions. That's awesome, man. That's fantastic. You know, I'm hired. You know there's Loch Ness Monster ones too, right? Like this is big business. Like people will go, I'm sure there's UFO ones.

I want to go on a Chupacabra one to be honest with you. That would be awesome. Or a Yeti. I think it would be a riot to go on. I actually think it would be super funny to go on one of these things. Yeah. But it costs so much money. Yeah.

That's the thing is bring me for free and I to go on one of these things. But it costs so much money. Yeah, that's the thing. Bring me for free and I'll go. Yeah, I know. And I'll tromp around in the woods with you all day for free. But the moment you want me to pay you $500 for dragging a schmuck like me around the woods, you better fucking carry me like I'm a fucking god then. You better have a whole bunch of fucking eunuchs that carry me in a fucking thing. In a litter?

Through the fucking woods, motherfucker. Well, you eat skinned grapes. Yeah, fucking A, man. I eat fucking skinned Yeti. What, are you kidding me? You better have some fucking exotic food there for me, too.

Oh, that's awesome. Like, I want nothing but morels on this trip. Morels doused in the blood of children. Be gone. Bring me another glass of truffle oil. Yeah.

So, Cecil, we got some emails. We got some ratings on iTunes. We had some tweets we're going to talk about. But also, we were posted on Atheist Underworld. Now, we've used Atheist Underworld before. It's a very good blog. And we've talked about stories that we found from Atheist Underworld. And it turns out that the gentleman who puts that blog together mentioned us as well. Yeah, that was very nice of him. He mentioned our show, said he just started getting into it and liked it and enjoyed the production quality and then the content. So,

we thank you for listening and we, just so you know, Ben, the person who puts this Atheist in a World together, we use your site to find stories. So, thanks for putting together a great blog. Yeah, keep doing some of the work for us. Yeah. Basically, we stand on your shoulders, Ben.

So, thank you very much. Shoulders of giants, my friend. Shoulders of giants. Midgets need to get somewhere. So we also got some email that we need to talk about. We got an email from Sean. Sean and I had a brief exchange, an email back and forth. Sean was curious. We've mentioned on the show that we're doing that, that I do Santa in my house. I've got a five-year-old and we do Santa. Sean thought there was an incongruity there. I actually think that Santa Claus is, and I mentioned this to Sean, kind of atheist training. I think it's, you know, you teach your kid, okay, well, here's this thing

called Santa. They believe you because they're kids. They believe everything that you fucking say. Then it involves a mythical man who knows when you're happy and when you're sad, when you're good and when you're bad. They later discover there's no evidence for this. Santa Claus isn't real. That's fucking atheist training, man. And, Tom, I would argue that you don't do Santa in your house. I do Santa in your house. Yeah, you do Santa in my house.

You are Santa Claus for us. Cecil is kind enough to show up once a year and to play in July. It's awkward. Yeah, it's really weird. It's fun, too, because I show up at like 3 in the morning. It's like, hey, can you wake that kid up? I'm ready to do Santa now. You need to stop drinking.

I'm just – No, but he enjoys it and I do think that it is one of those atheist sort of training things. And you put together something that I hadn't considered, Tom, when you wrote this letter because I got a chance to see the letter you sent back. And one of the things that I think really does separate Santa from Jesus is there's no killing in Santa's name. Nobody is strapping a fucking bomb to a reindeer and riding into a fucking middle of a mall and blowing themselves up. That's not happening. So I think that while you are teaching your kid to – you're not teaching him to believe in something. You're just saying that something exists and then he's going to find out I think organically later on without any help from you that Santa isn't real.

Right. And that's a great way to learn something. It is. There's a lesson there, right? And the lesson is like myths and stories can be fun but we grow out of them. Right. And it's right there. It's built into the structure of Santa Claus.

Plus, my wife is making me do it. Like, you know, like many religious compromises, though, I think that sometimes, you know, there's a lot of marital compromises depending. And, you know, if you have to, you know, she wants to do Santa, you're going to do Santa. You know, I don't want to see a Twilight movie, you know what I mean? But I might have to see a Twilight movie. There's lots of things I want to do she doesn't want to do. So if I want to keep doing those things. Yeah.

They may or may not be limited to sex, too. Sure, I'll do Santa Claus. too we don't know sure i'll do santa claus we also got a christmas holiday festa cuana as a card from uh todd yeah todd sent us uh happy festivus to my favorite podcasters and there's like there's like seven cards in here that are awesome i think my favorite i'm gonna, Tom, I want you to pick a favorite, but I'm going to pick a favorite first. And it's just got a guy on a train who's sort of leaning up. And these are the Your E cards, which are normally very funny. But he's just standing on a train and he's got a paper and it says,

Thank you for vaguely wording your holiday wishes because you think I might be Jewish. I think that's awesome. I also like my favorite is let's celebrate Christ's birthday this year by ignoring the fact that he would have celebrated Hanukkah. That is great. Thanks for sending the e-cards, Todd. We appreciate it. Awesome. We got a rating on iTunes.

We got a couple actually. And we, again, encourage people to rate us on iTunes if you have an opportunity. We're up to 76 now, which is three times as much as our old podcast. Five years of our other show and this is three times more ratings. And we appreciate each one of them. We really do, except for that son of a bitch who gave us a one. I hope that guy gets coal for Christmas, that fucker. Well, we recently got a rating that was accompanied by a review in which she indicated that we were shockingly feminist.

These two are not only hilarious, but are quite ardent defenders of women. They regularly give clever voice. I take issue with that, ma'am. To the female victims of religious and cultural brutality this show will crack you up and make you think doubt rage quietly as you listen during the morning commute um i you know i thought about this and and and i'm well i have to say that i'm i'm i'm very flattered and i i thank you very much um i think honestly that in 2011 if you're not a feminist you're not a humanist yeah Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly, Tom.

It's fucking half of the people. Half the people. If you don't know how to look at half of Earth and be like, less than. I mean, if that's really your stance, then you're doing humanity wrong. You're doing being a decent fucking human being wrong you cannot be a rational person that is dismissive or uh interested in or allowing of the subjugation of half havesies it's of the isms it's the fucking dumbest ism it really is it's really stupid and and also you've got to live a pretty fucking sheltered life, I think,

to only be, I guess, impressed by males. I'm a little older than you, so I've spent almost 40 years on this planet. And there has been a wide variety of people I have been impressed with in my life. And that wide variety of people is split right down the middle to males and females. To not have any kind of respect, I guess, for females just because of, you know, I guess, you know, tradition is stupid. I think it's silly.

It's one of those things we should be throwing out. Like on this show, we throw out a lot of fucking old superstitions. We throw out a lot of old religions. We. We throw out a lot of old religions. We should be throwing out a lot of old sort of backwards mindsets. Like,

and we do on the show talk about gays all the time, like how they have every right as everybody else. We talk about all the different things that, you know, we have thrown out in the last, you know, say century, women have gotten a chance to vote.

Black people, colored people have gotten a chance to vote. Well, what the fuck? That wasn't a possibility back then, but now it is. And now if you think that that's bad, you're an idiot. Right. Sexism is fucking completely baffling. It is completely baffling to me. I mean, to recognize differences is one thing, to to draw a distinction where one is better than the other is is certainly quite a different thing i appreciate very much this review and thank you

um but you know honestly feminism is a fucking subset of humanism yeah and i don't think that you can call yourself a humanist i don't think you can look at yourself and say you know i try to do the right thing i I try to be a decent human being and also be sexist. The two are fucking incompatible. Yeah, and I think the reason why we come off as feminists is because we give guys a bad name. I mean, let's be honest, really.

We give all males a bad name. I've been doing that for 34 years. I've been very busy at it my whole life. I give virtually everything I'm associated with a bad name. Well, speaking of everything you're associated with a bad name, we're going to end the podcast now. And thanks for listening. Merry, happy holiday, Kwanzaa, for you.

And we'll catch you right before the new year. We're hoping to record one more show before the new year. So make sure to check your iTunes while you're off on vacation. And as always, we're going to leave you with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating pressurized Stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment Leo Pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls Bigfoot Yeti aliens churchesques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. We'll see you next time.