Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 28: Apocalypse Now

Episode Date: December 31, 2011

Hugo Chávez hints at US cancer plot, Archbishop of Chicago under fire for comparing Gay Pride parade to Ku Klux Klan , 31 years for 31$ worth of weed, Utra-Orthodox bounty, Gingrich’s Commission On Religious Freedom Caters To NOM/Catholics’ Self-Victimization, Gingrich Puts a Price on His Family Values : He sheltered his $4-million book bonanza from his struggling, non-trophy ex-wife, Gingrich Floats Sarah Palin As Possible Vice President Pick, Psychic Predictions for 2012, Why Dr. Oz will not save pharmacy practice, Celebrities and Science 2011, Mars visitors Basiago and Stillings confirm Barack Obama traveled to Mars. Visit our website: http://dissonancepod.com for all the stories and links.

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. It is a doomsday that is foretold in the Mayan calendar. The Chinese Oracle of the I Ching. Even an internet-based prophetic software program.

2012. A date that is prophesied as the end of the world. But is there any science behind this dire prediction? Could ancient oracles truly predict the future?

The answer could affect us all, because history shows a surprisingly good track record for those who say Doomsday is almost here. Doomsday Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode, we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political.

And there is no welcome, Matt. Cecil, I've got to start the show today with a little reminder. Now, we're going into, this is going to be our New Year's episode as we transition from 2011 to 2012. While that may seem entirely arbitrary and par for the course, let's all remember that 2012 is the last year. So use your vacation time wisely. I've been saving it up. I've been saving it up for years at this point. And now I'm ready to just take the entire year off.

I was going to do it last year because I was pretty convinced by Harold Camping, but I decided to wait. And a lucky thing I did because I'm very happy to spend all my time this year waiting for the December that's not going to happen at this point. Well, you know, Cecil, actually, you and I got together yesterday, and you were making some comment about, you know, you work for a university and you were hoping to comment about you work for a university and you were hoping to get a certain day off because that would give you from December 21st to the new year. Right, right. I don't think you have to worry about coming to work. I'm just throwing that out there.

Next year I don't have to come to work from December 21st to the new year, whether or not the world ends. So we've got a great show for you. We've got lots of really annoying and ridiculous stories we can go over and mock mercilessly. I think the first one we've got to start with is Hugo Chavez made some really well-informed comments, as he often does.

Hugo Chavez hinted at a U.S. plot to infect left-wing politicians of South America with cancer. Are you fucking kidding me? We have had, Tom, a long history of fucking murdering people in South America to, to when we want people to take power and things like that. There is no need for a cancer gun when you have a real fucking gun because cancer is just like, like cancer is like, okay,

well I'm fixed with cancer and then maybe I'll go to chemotherapy and he might get better. He might get worse. If you, you know, there's no getting better from a bullet through the eye. There's just no, ask Osama bin Laden. and then maybe he'll go to chemotherapy and he might get better, he might get worse. There's no getting better from a bullet through the eye. Ask Osama bin Laden. Yeah, he's unlikely to recover, admittedly. Yeah, he's unlikely to answer that question, it turns out. And also, look at the picture of Hugo Chavez here.

Doesn't he look like somebody took their thumb and painted a face on it? Like, look at his face. He has a giant roast of a face. That guy eating well that's all yeah i know that's my first thought is like really because you know buddy it doesn't look like your body's a temple and you're look i you know i'm not gonna sit here pretend that uh i'm running a fucking marathon when i get off this podcast oh yeah oh no no no i'm not i can't even walk to the door. Are you kidding me? I get exhausted changing the channel to a marathon.

I'm like, oh my god. Click. Fuck that. If I got cancer of the being fat, I would be like, hmm, didn't surprise me. I'm fat. Hugo Chavez.

You know, if we had a cancer gun, like, how does that even work? You're like, pew, pew, cancer. And, like, somebody, like, runs away. Like, ha, ha, ha. I gave him a disease that will eventually maybe possibly kill him. We already have a cancer gun. It's called the sun. That's your cancer, right?

Give me a break. What are we thinking about here? And this is the most terrifying thing is this is fucking par for the course for leaders in our world. I know. This is the kind of idiocy that these people think up and they run giant countries. Well, yeah. Yeah, Venezuela. Big, big fucking country.

Major, major world. I mean becoming a more and more significant power and one of the most significant powers in South America. And he thinks we've got a cancer gun. Although I'm being unfair because he didn't actually say cancer gun. He said U.S. plot. Yeah, and you could have like – Could be a cancer tic-tac, any delivery method. I'm not – I'm speculating.

That's the worst flavor of tic-tacs, by the way, is the cancer tic-tac. Only two calories. It tastes like tumors. You're just like, ah, tumors. That's terrible. I'm speculating as to the delivery method of cancer Because you can't give somebody cancer There is ways to do it

You know, expose them to things in which they would get cancer from Like, you know, fucking bury some fucking radiation near them or something Like asbestos, like you just walk up to them and you're like Asbestos face You just like fucking weave some asbestos in all their clothes. Just seems like a lot of work when you could just shoot them. Right. Because that's what they normally do is just shoot them.

Yeah. That takes fucking 30 cents. It's a 30 cent bullet at max. Well, you know, let's let's even go so high as to say, let's say you were using like a.50 cal or something because you want to get that done from a distance. I think we can afford the like three bucks. And nobody cares. Like that's the thing that he doesn't understand is that when somebody gets shot down there, there's no uproar. There's no uproar because they always come in and they – like there's been this – I don't know if you've ever heard of them, the School of the Americas.

Have you heard of that, Tom? That sort of thing is like they've been overthrowing governments, like changing fucking leaders around, like fucking kings on a fucking chessboard. For years they've been doing that. Right. And there's never any uproar because nobody cares. I mean the people that live there care. The people that live there care, but nobody here cares. You know what I mean? Like nobody here cares enough to stop it from happening. So it just happens. And then presidents will be like, hey, that fucking guy's being uncooperative.

Time for him to go and visit Mr. Grave. This is the worst visit ever. Mr. Grave doesn't bring any good presents. Yeah. I will just end this with Hugo Chavez is fat. That's all I'm saying. I mean, he's got cancer. Hugo Chavez looks like a thumb. That is my answer.

I am unsurprised it is not a cancer tic-tac. I don't want the chemo tic-tac either because that's not – Yeah, that's not a delicious – No. They actually sell them. They're the orange ones that I can't understand why anybody would buy oh yeah anyway you'd almost rather have chemo than those orange fucking oh yeah those orange tic tacs they don't freshen your breath they just taste like shit they taste like baby aspirin like i remember when i was a kid you get the fucking orange aspirin mom be, you gotta take an aspirin because you got a headache. You'd be like, I'd rather have the headache.

Yeah, right? You're all sick! Oh, be nice! Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard.

Everybody dance now! So the Archbishop of Chicago, our fair city, Cecil, is under some fire for comparing gay pride parade to the Ku Klux Klan. This was a well-informed comment as well. Way to go, buddy. So Chicago has one of the largest gay pride parades in the nation. Basically, it's just a bunch of hoopla and floats and daring do they were going to go past uh a church uh mount carmel church and uh it would have interfered with services since the parade would have gone past their building and interfered with services um they are then a white supremacist group responsible for lynching and hate crimes

if i have the logic right you do um i think he fucking god wind himself there didn't he i mean he might as well just been like well it's a fucking hitler parade it it i what i at some point you're just like really i mean I understand that you're the archbishop. You're not in touch with reality, right? I'm looking at a picture of this guy right now. This is not a man who has a relationship with reality and the real world. He dresses like a bad superhero, right? You expect him to leap off a tall building and catch criminals dressed like this.

You're the Archbishop of whatever the fuck. It's ridiculous, man. So, I don't expect you to understand how the world works. You don't know your way around a vagina. You know? I'm not giving you a whole lot of creeps.

A lot of gay people don't know their way around vagina either lesbians do well yeah but this guy this guy doesn't know his way around normal fucking human relationships either right you know like whether it's gay or straight he doesn't know his his way around that relationship he has a great relationship with an imaginary friend who tells him to wear a fucking big old belt. That's for sure. Yeah, so, I mean, honestly, pretending that you as the Catholic Church

are being victimized by the LGBT community because some people are going to be going past church and you might have to skip services or postpone services to a later hour. That's fucking absurd. You asshat. You're the fucking Catholic Church. You're worth 15 billion dollars.

You control. You have your own country. You have the Vatican, man. I mean, like you have effectively your own country. Well, I haven't been to Gaylandia, right? You're not the one who is victimized, you stupid shit. Tom, you wouldn't be invited to Gaylandia. Oh, come on.

I just want to ride the ride. I'm just a tourist here. What I want to say about this, though, when you mention the guy's outfit, I have to agree. I think this outfit is fucking spectacular. I think it'd be right at home, personally, at a gay pride parade, to be honest, straight away. Well, this is like the people, I think, who get mad. This seems to me to be like the people who get mad that there's a black history month. Right.

I don't know if you've ever heard that. Why is there a black history month? There's no white history month. Motherfucking, there's fucking 12 fucking months are fucking White History Month. All the months. All the months are White History Month. They designate one, you know, it's just like this. It's like they designate one

day for people to be like, hey, we're gay, we're here, we're queer, we're staying, we're not going anywhere, we're out of the fucking closet now. And then they want to be like, oh, you can't do that. These people have a parade now. Pretty soon they're going to have a whole week. After that, they're going to have rights.

They can't have that. You have to recognize them as human beings. The church has made enough sacrifices already. And that's exactly it. You play the victim card and then you get suddenly these special rights. People will be like, oh, you're a victim. You're a victim.

No, these people are victims. They're the victims who get – there's a reason why they have to have an awareness parade every year. I've never seen like the Catholic pride parade, right? That's called church. You do that once a week. Yeah, you do that shit once a week. You're already dressed in your float regalia. Ridiculous fucking human being.

He's going to sit in the dunk tank later. This next story comes from TulsaWorld.com. And this is a story about a mother of four who got caught in pretty serious crime. She sold $31 worth of pot. And as a result, she will spend the next 12 years in jail. 12 years in jail. That is fucking absurd. in jail. That is fucking absurd. If you want to read a story that describes perfectly why the war on drugs is both unnecessary and harmful to both society and the individual, I don't think you

could do better than this story. You see that there's a line in here where she receives her 12 year sentence, Tom, and then it says her mother received a 30-year suspended sentence. So she could take care of the kids while her daughter's in jail. And once her daughter comes out, her mother goes to jail. That's outrageous. For pot? And what kind of weird measurement is $31 worth? I don't know.

I've never heard of anybody. Do you have to bring change? You know, Cecil, I've never heard of anybody buying $31 in pot. Maybe they're putting taxes on it. It was a $30 bag. You go to see your dealer, there's a gas surcharge now. He's like, hey, I met you. Time's a tough.

It's like $3.39 a gallon. You know, I mean, the $30, that just covers overhead. You know, you got to hook a brother up with some expense money here. The fuck? Yeah, this isn't a perfect example of why the war on drugs is fucking stupid. And what are we doing? For 12 years, Tom, for 12 years as taxpayers, we're going to be supporting this person. Right.

You know, they talk about – you hear all the people, the sort of far-right people when they talk about how, oh, people are fucking the welfare system and they're stealing from the government. You have these people who are on welfare and on disability and on social security when they shouldn't be. And they're stealing from us. And we're the hardworking guys and they're out there. But you know what? A shitty fucking prison system does the exact same thing. These people, we have to support. We have to pay for her meals every day.

We have to pay for her electricity, for her heat. She has to live in a place where she might, she very well might get hurt. And then I have to pay for her medical care. Right. Well, let's be reasonably conservative and let's imagine that it costs $30. Let's, you know, let's say it costs $31 per day to house this woman. We're going to house this woman 365 days a year for the next 12 fucking years. We're going to pretend that we're getting a good deal out of this. I got a mother of four off the streets because she was selling a little bit

of pot? I mean, the cost, the social cost is 4,380 times greater than the cost of her offense, the $31 worth of pot. And it's pot! You know, she wasn't selling, like, bazookas filled with cancer. She was selling the Hugo Chavez. Right. She was selling pot. Like what's the worst case scenario?

Somebody's like, yeah, and then I got that pot and then I smoked it and then I was a little hazy and I ate some Doritos. I took a nap. Right. And then later. And I watched Cartoon Network for three hours. Later, I wasn't high anymore and then nothing else happened. And then I. And I watched Cartoon Network for three hours. Later, I wasn't high anymore. And then nothing else happened. And then I went to work.

Right. What the fuck? Doing one of the various things you could do without being drug tested in this country. It's just crazy to me to think that this woman is going to spend 12 years in jail. Like, her kids are going to be. She's got kids that range in age from four. Oh, I'm sorry. She's got kids that range in age from two to 10.

Yeah, well, two to 10. And, you know, let's say, let's say six years, right? Because the best you could do probably is halftime. You know, you get a 12 year sentence. Good behavior is like halftime. So six years. The best you could do is six years later. Right.

Your kid's fucking sweet 16. Fucking quinceanera is coming up. I mean, there's just, there's no, there's no way to justify either this story or honestly, the current war on drugs makes no sense. Just makes no sense as it's being applied. It makes no sense whatsoever. Well, and pot is one of those things that I think of the drugs that we have that are legal, alcohol being one of them. I think pot is much less dangerous than alcohol. I don't smoke pot, but I certainly wouldn't frown on anybody doing something like

that. I think that the reason why people, there's a lot of reasons why it's still considered bad, but pot is cheap to fucking grow. You could have people growing it and making money off of it in industry. It could be an industry in this country. You suddenly cut out the entirety of all the fucking black market stuff. Because, you know, here's an example of something like that. You keep the prices relatively moderate. Like, how much is it to buy a pack of cigarettes, Tom? Right now, to get a pack of cigarettes in Chicago, that's 20 cigarettes. It's nine bucks. Now, I know it's cheaper other places, but let's just go with Chicago here. $9 for a pack of cigarettes.

I don't know of any black market cigarettes. Right. Exactly. I don't know of any place in which I'm walking down the street and somebody's like, hey, man, you want to buy a pack of cigarettes for $6? Right. Nobody's doing that. Right?

Nobody's growing their own tobacco rolling it up and fucking processing it putting a filter on it packaging it in a box wrapping in a cellophane and selling it on the side of the street nobody's doing it so nobody would do that with pot either if it was moderately priced right they would just be like well there's nothing we can do to it and they could tax the fucking ever-loving shit out of it. Yeah. And people would clearly pay for it because they're already paying black market prices for it. The black market prices are automatically inflated prices because, you know, it's not a it's not a free market. It's a restricted market. It's a market that is is under a tremendous amount of pressure that increases dramatically the cost for production distribution.

So people are already paying costs which are well in excess of what a free market would be able to generate for this thing, for this service. Yeah. So there's a tremendous amount of profit. You don't even have to lower prices. You can continue to gouge people the way that they are already used to being gouged. And they just would be like, hey, I got gouged for pot, but I got my pot. I'm not going to go to jail for 12 fucking years. They would pay a premium for that. They'd be like, fuck, man, double the price, $61 for a fucking bag of weed that used to cost

$31. They're like, awesome, fucking sign me up. And then think about it this way. Suddenly you don't have to bust people for pot. So all that money for law enforcement is a net savings. Absolutely. And then, you know, you've got all those people, all the drug money that goes to help finance organized crime and gangs.

And let's not pretend that that's not significant and real. Prohibition, anybody? As soon as you make things illegal, you generate a market, and that market funds illegal activity because you've made the activity that funds them illegal. I mean, it's a vicious cycle. So you'd basically be taking money away from an organized crime and gang activity. You'd be preventing people like this from having to go to jail for, I don't know, more than a fucking decade. Yeah.

It would be cheap. Yeah. It's just cheaper. It's just, you know, just just rationally. It's just cheaper. And then also, you know, look at this poor woman is stuck here forever for no reason. For no reason. Right. There's nothing.

Nobody got harmed in the making of that fucking joint. Right. Because, like, let's be honest, like people are still smoking it and the world has not collapsed. People are not like it's not like everybody who smokes pot wakes up and is like, oh, I smoked pot last night. As a result, my wife left me. I lost my job.

I have no money. My arms fell off. Also, I live in a world called reefer madness in the name of jesus we speak that Hookah, hookah, chaka, hookah, hookah, hookah, chaka. I'm hooked on a feeling. I'm high on believing. The ultra-Orthodox in Israel seem to be going a little batshit crazy with regard to their restrictions on women and their imposition of their ultra-Orthodox views. I think they've gone.

I don't think they're going anywhere. I think they've completely gone at this point. I don't know if the beard has gotten to them. It's a strain on the brain. It's exhausting. Pulling my face so tight. Maintain that much hair. It itches constantly. But ultra-Orthodox community, I read this story.

This is a story from Spiegel Online International. And as I'm reading this story, I can't help but think as these fringe group of ultra-Orthodox Jews try to make serious inroads and become more influential in the society in Israel. I can't help but draw that comparison to the nutjob fundamentalists here who are a fringe group. But unfortunately here we've allowed them their voice. Everybody gets a voice. We've allowed their voice to be stronger than numerically it should be. Right. And as a result, we've become held hostage politically and otherwise to a relative minority of complete fuckwits.

And I hope so much that that does not happen in Israel with these yahoos who are throwing stones at young women for wearing skirts that are too short. I like this one. I'm going to quote directly from the article. I know this is from Spiegel Online International is where we're getting this story. This happens on a bus, okay? A man comes up to this woman and says that she needs to comply with the unwritten prescribed unwritten rules prescribed by the ultra orthodox Jews in Israel. And it decrees which which and the decree is requires women to sit at the back of the bus or use a different pedestrian routes or sidewalks that then men do. Your fucking decree subjugates women and they should just be fucking fine with that. They should just be like, hey, man, you know what's fucking awesome is those ultra-Orthodox, they really put you in your place. Yeah, no kidding.

I mean, any religion, and most of them do this, but any religion that automatically tries to create difference and separation and strife between the genders and declares that one gender is not the equal of the other i mean fuck you it's 2011 it may eventually become 2012 maybe even 2013 i don't know about 13 tom you're pushing it with 13 here so this is a ridiculous antiquated worldview and it's unacceptable and you know this woman basically told this guy to get fucked and did not sit at the back of the bus and they fucking called her a whore. Yeah.

And not just, not just him either. Like it says she had no intention of abiding by the edicts and refused to move. And because, uh, the back of the bus was stuffy, which, you know, she doesn't have to fucking move anyway. stuffy, which, you know, she doesn't have to fucking move anyway. The man immediately began insulting her, calling her a whore. And others quickly joined in the harassment. If you're on a bus full of fucking idiots that are going to call you whore, Jesus, where are you at that that happens?

Where suddenly you decide that you want to sit where everyone else sits and how everyone else sits. And somebody says, you can't do it because my fucking everyone else sits and how everyone else sits. And somebody says, you can't do it because my fucking 4,000-year-old book says no. Because somehow they fucking guessed how buses would work back then. Right. Right. I actually doubt that it's in. Where's the fucking verse on buses?

Where's that verse? Buses 21-6. Where's that verse? Bus is 21-6. Where's the verse? And whenst thou motored carriage shall takest thou. What the fuck? No. No. No.

You know, the thing is that the verses are basically and low. Women are not people. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly it. And so that is the excuse for this kind of misogynist bullshit. And that's all it is. This is misogyny first, religion second. Sure.

It's fucking justification for you being an assh**le. Right. Exactly. Call some woman a whore. Good. I'm glad she didn't get to the back of the bus. There's a long history of people not getting to the back of the fucking bus. And guess where they sit now?

Where the fuck they want? This dude's got to pay money, too, which is awesome. I'm happy he has to pay. I know. He lost. He got arrested. Yeah. Stupid shithead. Where the fuck do you think you live, man? Ridiculous. It's fucking ridiculous.

Jeez, it's like he's going back in time. Yeah, right. It's not even where do you live like he's going back in time. Yeah, right. It's not even where do you live. It's when do you live. Yeah, exactly. When do you live, you fucking paleolithic asshat. Although their outfits are not nearly as cool as the Cardinals' outfit. I got to admit.

I just don't like the derby with the suit thing they have. It's not nearly as cool as the big red sash with the beam. They don't look like superheroes at all. What they look like is sidekicks. And with a name like ultra-orthodox, you should think they'd be superheroes. Because they're ultra-something. Yeah. One would think as soon as you add ultra to that thing.

Actually, you know, to be honest, like if you've got a worldview that's ultra-something, maybe you ought to reconsider. You should. You should. You know where I'd like to be? As far to the end of the spectrum as possible. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not willing to concede any middle ground at all.

That seems in keeping with my reality. That seems, no, yeah. I've never encountered a position where I've had to compromise, so I'll be the ultra thing. I do wish that other religions use the same terminology, though, so we can have a standard, like a metric system for how crazy you are religiously. Because right now it's like, well, you've got fundamentalists and then you've got evangelists and then you've got the – that's on the Christian side. And then you've got like the – there's radical Muslims and then there's ultra-Orthodox Jews. We all need to get on the same page. There needs to be a fucking metric system

for how crazy religious you are. And I like ultra. It should be like ultra and then mega. And, you know, I mean, like, we need to have, and they should all be... We gotta have a giga. Eventually, when the giga comes about, you're fucked. I'm tetra-Orthodox.

Oh, shit, the bed. Holy fuck. He's gonna, one, if he levels up, he becomes God himself. Jesus, he's he's three experience points away from rapture. I think this this is very important. I want to talk very briefly about American exceptionalism and then apply it very directly to one example of how big the change needs to be. Despite the fact that our current president has managed to avoid explaining on at least four occasions that we are endowed by our creator, the fact is what makes American exceptionalism different is that we are the only people I know of in history to say power comes directly from God to each one of you.

Speaking of ridiculous, Newt Gingrich, Commission on Religious Freedom. I actually read his little 12-page presidential commission bullshit. This is not a thoughtful thing. I read through this thing in its entirety the other day. This is not a thoughtful, well-considered thing at all. Newt Gingrich has got basically a crusade against judges, a crusade against the LGBT community, a crusade against religious liberties and your right not to have any religious affiliations. And he, in his day one proposal, like, when I get in office, please don't let that happen.

When I get in office on day one, this is the way I'm going to roll back America to the stone age. And this is part of his plan. And see, so there were three things in this article which were outlined. Yeah, there's like a small list of these things. And you said it was a 12-page, 12-point mission statement. And I went there thinking it was a joke., 12 point mission statement and I went there thinking it was a joke. Like I went like I somehow got there. It was like

a PDF somewhere online and I went there thinking I'm like wait is this somebody kidding around? Because I think that the way it was like it was like worded at the top just felt like it was like a joke. And then I started reading I was like oh no this is like real stuff. This is this is his plan for America. And I always wonder, too, Tom, this is always one of the things is these

presidents always come in with these big ideas like we're going to do this. We're going to do that. We're going to fucking roll back fucking America to the fucking Amish times. Buggy whips for everyone. But we never it never happens because i think that you know they're just the checks and balances sort of keep them there so i feel like even though there's this crazy shit that these people spout and let's not forget that nearly everyone on the republican side in the nomination pool right now is saying something crazy yes there's a level of crazy to them that is you know it's it's great Asians. There's a level of crazy to them that is, you know, it's gradations, but there's a level of crazy to them.

But I don't feel like there's a danger of this happening, even if, you know, by some fucking miracle, and it would have to be divine intervention at this point, that Newt Gingrich got elected. Well, I don't, I don't feel like it's something that could ever happen. See, I got to say, though, first of all, I don't think it would be a divine miracle that Newt Gingrich would get elected. There's no other candidates that are – I mean it's not like all the candidates are doing very poorly. It seems to me that they're all doing poorly. One of them has to get elected.

I mean to the nomination, not know, not please not to the presidency, but, you know, but yeah, sure. You know, Newt Gingrich, will he be able to get this done? I don't think so, because I read through this and a lot of it's unconstitutional, I think. Right, right. And, you know, I know he's got this thing against judges, but they can strike down. You cannot pass a law that doesn't get past the Supreme Court. It's not a thing. You can't do that.

Yeah. We have protections in place that have been around for a couple hundred years. We're sort of fond of them. We call them the Constitution. No. Stamp. Boom. So there are some things he can do by executive order, which aren't laws.

And so I'm not sure if they are subject to constitutional review or judicial review. But I have to imagine they're at least open for challenge. A lot of this memo that he put out or this proposal I should say that he put out basically went back to saying like, look, there's no real such thing as a separation of church and state. He makes that argument. Yeah, that's what it comes back to. And that's just not the case. I mean we have established case law that verifies that it is the case that there is established a separation of church and state. Newt Gingrich getting elected isn't going to fucking change that.

So – Well, and what's the reason why they want this to happen? Why do they keep on harping at this exact same thing that has no basis in fact? Why do they keep saying there's no separation of church and state, you know, America is a Christian nation.

Why do they keep saying that? And the reason why they keep saying that is they are trying to get votes. That is the only reason that they are saying it. I don't even know that some of these people even believe it. But they just they say it because that is how the Republican Party has been nominated and elected for the past 30 or so years. Because that's it happened like late 70s when they started to, you know, the Christian right started to sort of co-opt the Republican Party and now you have a merger between the two. And the only way you can get elected in this country in the – certainly by the Republican Party, the only way you can get a nomination is if you say things like this.

That's the only way to make your voting base enamored with you. And you're right. It is just a voting ploy and it's just a way to get people to the ballot box because ultimately you can't establish – you cannot establish the United States as a Christian nation because there's no such thing as Christianity. It's a series of sects. Right. Which one do you pick?

Like, well, we're going to be – well, we're not going to include the Catholics. We're not going to include the Mormons. We're not going to include the Baptists or the Lutherans or the, you know what I mean? Like, what are you going to do? It's a religion that's shattered into a thousand pieces, none of whom agree on some pretty, I shouldn't say none of them, many of whom do not agree on some pretty fundamental principles. And many of whom don't even agree that the other guy is going to be saved or not. Some of them don't even agree that the other guy is going to be saved or not right some of them don't even agree that we need to be saved or are in any trouble this is another story from the los angeles times about gingrich um he might not get

religious freedoms overturned um but he is on a level, something of a complete asshole. This is a story about, you know, Gingrich is a big family values sort of a guy. You know, all these Republican assholes, you know, they always spout that family values nonsense, many of which don't live up to any actual values my family personally would espouse or yours or any reasonable human being. Gingrich said of his – I've got to read this. He said of his ex-wife, Jacqueline, she's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the president. And besides, she has cancer. Somebody shot her with the cancer gun or gave her the cancer tic-tac. Somebody hit her with the ugly stick or gave her the cancer tic-tac.

Somebody hit her with the ugly stick, too. Wow. Wow. Dude, that's your ex-wife. You're the family values guy. That's your thing, man. My family's like your family. I mean, he said, what?

Yeah, that was his slogan, wasn't it? Newt's family is your family or something like that. No, Newt's family is not my family, it turns out. And, you know, this is the same guy, though, who rallies against gay marriage. Right. Like, he's a guy, like, this is a fucking degenerate fuck who's been caught in illicit affairs, who's had fucking, you know, three wives at this point. What? And we're going to be like, oh, yeah, we need to trust his fucking views on marriage. We need to make sure that this bastion of fucking marriage in America is fucking safe to, you know, marry 20 people throughout his life if he wants to.

But, you know, you got two of the same junk. You fucking if you don't have an innie and an outie. Sorry, buddy. Well, this is the same guy like they had to go to court to be forced to pay support for his family. Per the divorce, he was supposed to pay some support to his family. He didn't do it. He had to go to court and be forced to do it. I mean if you don't – if you're willing to take a shot at a woman who has cancer and you don't want to support her financially afterwards and then you hide a $4 million book deal.

What a degenerate. You're just a terrible human being. You're a fucking asshole. And I don't understand why anybody would look to this guy as a leader. And it's not because he's had three wives. I don't give a fuck. It's not because he's had an affair. I don't give a fuck.

It's because he's a hypocrite. That's the problem, right? I wouldn't give a flying fuck whether or not this guy has had, you know, affairs and had, you know, multiple marriages if he wasn't such a fucking staunch anti-gay marriage person who's saying, you don't have this right that I can flaunt and fuck with. And completely, you know, he doesn't give a fuck what happens to his marriages. You know, this is something that, you know, we're talking about at this point,

six states or something like that allow it? A majority of the people in this country can't have that union. And you're flaunting that? Fuck you, you fucking potato-head looking motherfucker. Well, look, you know, he's the one that makes the, he's the one who makes this an issue.

I'm not making it an issue. I would just let everybody get married. Fuck it. I don't care. That's not – permissiveness is not a stance saying, hey, I don't care what you do. Go do the thing you want to do. That's not really a stance. That's just saying I'm not going to obstruct your happiness.

It has no effect on me. It's small government libertarianism. So that's not really a hardcore stance. I just don't give a fuck. I don't care who wants to marry who. I don't care who wants to divorce who. I don't care if you get divorced 15 fucking times. But if you're going to make a big goddamn deal about how you're this big, upstanding,

moral son of a bitch, and your family's like my family, and we're going to have family values here in America, damn it, and you've been divorced three times, and you're kind of an ass. And you forbid other people, or you try to forbid other people,

and you make pushes to forbid other people and you make pushes to forbid other people to have a have a union you're a douchebag you want to you want to let if we want to codify the sanctity of marriage then let's eliminate divorce it's not legal anymore right that'll codify the sanctity of marriage i mean it really will it'll say marriage is fucking sacred even though the the state should have no bearing on the sacred. But if that's what you want to do, if you want to say, OK, well, we're going to make we're going to make marriage a contract you enter into and cannot fucking get out of. That's something that's at least I wouldn't support it, but that's at least logically consistent and fair. Right.

I think it's also a terrible idea. But, I mean, that's the next logical step. Or you can just say, hey, the state has no business in your business. And if churches decide, hey, I don't want to marry gay people, then it's okay. Then they don't go to that church and don't marry gay people. These aren't real problems.

These are problems that are created by people to get votes. So that they can appeal to a large swath of America that is pro-bigot. Right. The pro-bigot swath. It's interesting that so many questions, I guess, do revolve around that centeredness that I have of respecting life and the potential of every human life. That no, it's stem cell research that would ultimately end in destruction of life.

So this next story is from Real Clear Politics. This just makes me laugh. Gingrich floats Sarah Palin as possible vice presidential pick. I mean, it didn't work for the last pasty white guy. I doubt this is. I like this idea, though, because she was so much fun to make fun of. You know what's depressing, I think, the most depressing thing? Oh, don't be depressed, Cecil.

Yeah, it's time to bring the show down a notch, Tom. It starts off so low. It's really this point we're going under. feminist landscape or even just the feminine landscape when you look at politics for women in the Republican Party, the choice you have as a woman, right? If you're thinking, I want to vote. I'm a woman. I think I want to support a woman who's going to vote, maybe run for president. The choice you have right now is Michelle Bachman. Oh, that is depressing. Out of all the people in the United States.

Yeah. And then you take a smaller subsect and say the Republican Party, and you say this is the best woman that they have that could be running at this point. And the thing is that that's not true, right? I mean, there are so many unbelievably bright, talented, insanely well-educated women who are also Republicans. But they don't have any traction. You got Michelle Bachman. Yeah. And don't

get me wrong. It's no better with really any of the other candidates if you're looking at the male side of things either. No, it's not. It's really not. We're talking about Newt Gingrich a lot here. That guy's a fuckwit. Uh, but, but I just feel, feel really bad when I see this sort of thing. You know, we talked about it a couple of times, how few women there are in the Senate, how few women there are in the house. Uh, they just, they just don't get any traction. They just

don't have a push to, to become president to, and,. And being a woman in the Republican Party I think sometimes could be pretty bad. They're trying to take away reproductive rights from women I think in a lot of ways. And look at – shit, Michelle Bachman had her gay husband tell her what to study in school for crying out loud. So you got to see it. I think as a – it's hard. I think it would be hard to be a Republican woman in general. And then just to be like able to run for president, it's shocking that the best two to come out of the last 10 years of politics in the United States are Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin. Yeah. And like her, Lumpur, they were mere shadows of the intellect of Hillary Clinton.

Yes. You know, and I'm not I'm not promoting Hillary Clinton one way or the other. But you're right. It's it's depressing because the thing is that what they've really done is they've put forward female candidates that, like the male candidates, but I think more aggressively, try to force an emotional appeal to the voter. Rather than allowing women to flex their substantial intellectual muscle and finding women who would appeal to the intellectual voter, to voters who vote on real issues. Instead, it's almost like they're purposely hunting for these dimwits who have an ability to appeal to people on a basic or emotional level and ignoring the ability of women within their group to appeal on a fundamental political and intellectual level. Because these women don't do it.

No. They just don't. I mean, if these are the two examples we have, they're so poor. So we're going to pause for a moment to give you all the information that you need to contact us, to find us on email, to send us your messages via the telephone, to find us on Twitter and Facebook, and we'll return to ruin the rest of your day in just a moment. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. For more information on this or any other episode, visit the Cognitive Dissonance website,

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That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply. Your help is fucking greatly appreciated. Cecil, more psychic predictions for 2012. Now, we saw on the last show the psychic predictions for 2011 fell flat. Right. I have hopes for 2012. 2012 is the year of the Mayan eruption, spectacular, whatever, nonsense.

Extravaganza. Yeah. There's like having like a Mayan tent sale or something. I'm not sure. Sure. Yeah. Exactly. Half price.

How that works. Half price pyramid sale. That's awesome. I would buy a half price pyramid. You know, I don't want to pay full price. That's ridiculous. No, and it's in ruins, for Christ's sakes. You should get a discount.

It's like open-box merchandise, really. Yeah. And everybody's already used it. The upkeep on this place is fucking outrageous, too. And I mean, seriously, someone fucking died in there. That's got to be in the disclosures. It's got to be able to pay a little less. Blair Robinson has—he doesn't know, I should be fair to Blair Robinson.

I won't be, but I should be. Blair Robinson says that what he does is time projected empathy, where I imagine myself reading the headlines in the future. I remember the future. That's confusing, to remember the future, because then it's your past, and I don't know what to do about that. Anyway, he's got some predictions for 2012. If these come true, it's going to be not such a good year, Cecil.

Well, some of these are going to come true. Yeah, but the very first one. Well, the first one. Republicans will win the presidential debate. That's depressing. Republicans will win the presidential election. You know depressing. Republicans will win the presidential election. Again, I feel like he's not hedging his bets here. Right now, the popularity rating for the Republican House is in the shitter.

Right now, nobody can really get behind a Republican candidate. So I don't know. I think the safe bet is that the incumbent is going to get reelected, but that's just me. Like, I think one of his that, that I read and I was just like, no fucking kidding was the last one. Middle East tensions will greatly escalate in the fall. Motherfucker, Middle East tensions escalate every fucking second week. Yep. Uh, how about news of a thwarted terrorist attack at the Summer Olympics will have the world on edge? That's extremely likely. Right.

Extremely. Because it's a big deal and people always try to fucking bomb that shit. Right. I mean, these are just, most of these are silly. Some of them are very specific. Some of them are very specific, but some of them are not so specific. You know, a ferry capsizing in the Philippines. Ferries capsize all the fucking time. Right.

You know, what I'd like to do, you know, how many, there's a fair number of predictions here. I'd be curious what his success rate is. Well, some of these you just got to, you got to cut out because they, they, they have too big a time span. How about I predict North Carolina will be slammed and heavily damaged by storms in April. Here's another one, Tom. I predict a dam will burst, causing much damage within the year. Yeah. On Earth.

Okay. Hold on now. A dam will burst, causing much damage. Over the entire world? Like the entire world? You're going to pick that? And how much damage? What does much damage mean? Right.

Right. So some of these are so vague, it's impossible and some of them are so fucking useless. Who cares? In spite of present rumors, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will remain together in 2012. Who gives a fuck? Who fucking

cares whether they fucking explode tomorrow? I don't understand how this psychic world is supposed to work right is it as petty as the national inquirer i mean do i leave an improv like do i leave a discernible psychic impression every year my wife and i don't get divorced our psychics all over all over opening up their psychic newspaper and reading a long list of people that don't get divorced? The following is a list of things which won't

happen. That's not a thing. It's not a thing when nothing happens. When the status quo stays the status quo, you didn't predict anything, right? I predict Jennifer Aniston will get married. Who fucking cares? I don't know.

So many people get married in a year. In fact, some people like Newt Gingrich get divorced in the same year. Who cares? Well, that's okay. If she's got cancer, you can divorce her. Yeah, we'll post this list. We'll just post a link to the article so you can see the list. But I think if these aren't so general, they're just stupid and people will forget them.

I think the ones that are not general are going to be, he's going to take his hits, right? He's going to say, oh, these were hits next year. And if one of these specific things kind of happens, he's going to call it a hit and be like, look at what I predicted last year. And that'll be his flagship that he'll use, right? That'll be the one that he's like,

I predicted that there was going to be an eruption in the northeast or whatever. And even though it's like fucking a tiny fucking piece of ash falls from the sky and he considers that an eruption or whatever, that's what he's going to hang his hat on. So they do this. They hedge their bets. They pick some real safe, easy shit with no time limit and no substantial fucking guessing work at all because it always happens. And then they take a few things that are really specific. And if one of them becomes true, it's a big fucking deal. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike.

devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products. Help stamp out quackery. So this is an article from Science Based Pharmacy. This is a blog. It's titled, Why Dr. Oz Will Not Save Pharmacy Practice. The most egregious thing about this article is having to look at Dr.

Oz. That picture of him just standing there fucking tenting his fingers and looking all like cockeyed and half concerned like, tell me anything. All he needs is his collar to be popped up in that picture. I think that's what he needs. He's missing like the popped up sort of douchebag collar.

He's already got the pink shirt with the powder blue over shirt. I hate him so much just looking at this picture and his false fucking concern. It makes me want to stab him in the eye. How dare you have false concern for me, sir? Stab him in the eye. How dare you have false concern for me, sir? But this is basically an article about how pharmacies are using or trying to get on board with the Oz effect, which is similar to the Oprah effect, but just, you know, dangerous. And market supplements to people who come in. Yeah.

Supplements that have been touted on the Dr. Oz show. Supplements which, Cecil, don't do anything. Well, yeah. And all these are like really stupid ones like artichoke extract and white kidney bean extract. Motherfucker, just fucking make me a plate of fucking artichokes and kidney beans. I know. I was looking at this list. I'm like –

I don't need the extract, motherfucker. I'll make a fucking salad. There are delicious vehicles to get these things into your body. I do not need to take a supplement for cocoa. I know. Let me tell you that right now. I do not need a supplement for fucking cocoa. Has anybody ever gone to an actual doctor and been like, uh-oh, uh-oh, he's crashing.

Give me 10 CCs of Coco Stat. We need a chocolate cake shake. Put it to him intravenously. Nurse, bring me the Swiss Miss. All we have is the stuff with marshmallows. Damn it, I don't want marshmallows. Don't you die on me. This is absurd.

Dr. Oz is – who listens to Dr. Oz? Well, he's a very popular quack on television. Like the thing is, is that he's giving this – he's giving advice. This is what these people do, right? And this is symptomatic of a lot of quote-unquote doctors. Now, Dr. Oz I think is a medical doctor. But there's a lot of people that sell themselves as doctors and then they try to tell you that certain procedures and certain things are bad for you. And then they give you this sort of line that what you need in your life is these things to make you feel better, whatever those things are, right?

This fucking white kidney bean extract because it has a lot of fucking borchium or whatever the fuck. And they're just like, you know, oh, the fucking borchium makes it so your fucking, you know, your dick stays hard for four hours or whatever. He's going to have some sort of stake in this for him to be selling this stuff. He's a salesman. He just happens to have an infomercial that runs daily. Right. Exactly. Exactly, Cecil. These supplements are utterly without merit for the most part.

They're completely without merit. without merit for the most part. They're completely without merit. The fact that they're even sold in the pharmacy section is an affront to good sense. They shouldn't be sold at all, in my opinion. They should be regulated by the FDA, meaning if they're proven effective, great, let's sell them. If they're not proven effective then they should not be available for purchase as a supplement for things you you know dr oz shows up on this program and pharmacies are money-making ventures and he promotes you know milk thistle or ginkgo biloba or whatever the fuck he's promoting and these pharmacies they watch the show and then they say well like the fuck let's capitalize on it and people come into their

to the pharmacy and they wander about and they see a sign and it says you know as seen on the dr oz show and well god tv wouldn't lie to me right and then they buy milk thistle and then they go home and and what are you doing? If you've got a serious, if you've got an actual condition that needs to be treated and instead you're trying to treat it with milk thistle or cocoa powder or white bean extract. I mean, have a chocolate milk and a cassoulet. I mean, what are you doing? You're doing everything wrong and you're not getting actual treatment. You're not getting actual care. And so this guy can sell books and can promote products for other people.

It's not harmless. It's part of a money-making venture. And these people are part of it. They're just the suckers. He's one step away though from the people who sell their own shit, right? The people who hawk their own bits of stuff like that dr schultz guy right who's like i i sell you i'll tell you that the medical profession is out to kill me and that i'm i and the doctors don't want me to live because i'm

telling you how to beat cancer or whatever and all you have to do is take this garbage that i fucking dreamt up and you know here it is in a fucking dro, you know, you feed it to yourself and you'll be fine. You'll be able to live to 107. Right. And again, the whole supplement thing is based on the idea that, you know, the only reason you don't feel good is because of some nutritional defect. You're not getting enough selenium. You're getting too much selenium.

You're not getting enough, you know, that has no relationship for most people with the reality of why their body functions properly or doesn't function properly. So Cecil, this was a really interesting, I don't know what to call it. Is this, it's not an article. No, it was, it was, it was just like a, I don't know, like a little fact sheet. Yeah, the Celebrities in Science 2011. Now we'll post a link to it. It's actually quite long, so we can't go through the whole thing, but it goes

through a bunch of celebrities and sort of the public comments and nonsense that they've made, and then right below it, it's like, eh, not so much. And here's an oceanographer. Like, for example, I'm going to read the first one. Personality, Nicole Snooki Palazzi.

I don't know her name. Snooki. I know her by Snooki. She's the Oompa Loompa on that show, whatever that is. She says, I don't really like the beach. I hate sharks. And the water's all whale sperm. That's why the ocean's salty.

And then there's a doctor, the oceanographer, who says, Snooki, it would take a lot of whale sperm to make the sea that salty. And then he goes on to explain that it's minerals and that she's a real dumb little oompa loompa and then goes on and on and on. But I think it's great. I think some of these are really fun. Do you have a favorite in here other than the

sperm? Because I think everybody's going to gravitate toward the sperm one. The sperm one is pretty outrageous. Yeah. I mean, it's clearly my favorite, but I'd be happy to pick another favorite because there's so many of them. Right, right. There's a lot to choose from.

That are so delightful. One of the ones I want to talk about because I've heard this so many times, Juliette Lewis, who's crazy, told The Guardian, on a purely nutritional level coconut water is pretty much the most hydrating thing you can drink and much better than man-made sports drinks you know the most hydrating thing you can drink is usually water water that's that's actually the most sure just because water by volume will always have more water in it than other things that are not 100 percent water. That's – you're nuts. And it's refuted by a sports dietician.

In fact, coconut water has about half the amount of carbohydrates but also a different balance of salts than a typical sports drink, and so could be less hydrating. Yeah. Now, since I've had coconut milk, it tastes pretty good. It's not bad. It tastes pretty good. I bought one at the pharmacy when I was grabbing a drink for something, and I thought, I got that in my milk thistle. Yeah.

I had it because I thought it sounded like it would taste good. And it did. And it was hydrating because it's mostly water. Yeah, right. So it was watermelon. OK, so so here's my favorite. This is a French footwear designer was talking to a fellow party guest. designer was talking to a fellow party guest. She said that what is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot because it's exactly the position of a woman's foot when she orgasms. So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation. And this guy,

professor, a consultant in sexual medicine says, it's important to differentiate causality from effect. A woman's foot may be in that position during orgasm, but that does not mean that putting her foot into that position under other circumstances will result in orgasm. I fucking love it. I think that's absolutely awesome. The idea that that's why a woman in a high-heeled shoe looks sexy. Yeah. I just got to throw this out there. I have never been engaged in a sexual act where a woman was orgasming and I've been paying attention to what her foot looked like.

My attention has been directed elsewhere. I've been busy doing other things. I'm not like, hold on a minute. I'm going to look down. Hey, look at your foot. Hey, did you know your foot's doing like a thing? You wouldn't believe what your biscuits are doing. No idea.

Another one, too, I want to just mention this. I'm going to summarize. I'm not going to read it. But Gwyneth Paltrow basically said that she does a detox. It has spectacular results. Basically, she says she uses a specific thing for detoxing and it gives her mental clarity and drops a few pounds, blah, blah, blah. And this person was just like, basically, your body has a built in detoxification system. It doesn't need any help.

And that stuff doesn't help. And Gwyneth Paltrow needs to lose a few pounds like I need to gain a few pounds. Yeah, no kidding. I saw a video of her one time a while back of her making guacamole, right? And so she's making guacamole and she cuts open the fucking avocados and she's like, yeah, this calls for one avocado. And I think that that could feed a family of four. And I'm like, what fucking family of four? I'm like, I could eat fucking four avocados. Like, I'm like, wow. Like, I just shoved that shit in my mouth. You make a four avocado guacamole between my wife and I, we can eat it.

Four. We're a family of 16 between the two of us. The only thing slowing me down is the pit. You know? It's just like ah. Because I'll eat that fucking skin you know i'll fucking eat the whole skin i eat that thing like a fucking apple what are you kidding me i will admit that giselle says uh that she doesn't use uh sunscreen oh this is awesome and i i i

would say because she doesn't use anything synthetic, the sun is pretty natural. And it will fucking roast a toast you, stupid. The sun is very natural. But it's hard for me to criticize Giselle for how she takes care of her skin because have you seen her fucking skin? No, I haven't. She's an outrageously beautiful woman. I don't know who it is. Oh, she's an outrageously beautiful woman i don't know who it is oh she's she's a fantastically beautiful woman yeah i don't i don't give a fuck what she does

like she just needs to continue doing the thing yeah well yeah sure but you know the thing is she's beautiful now yeah she's gonna look like a leather bag but eventually you know after the surgeries for to take the skin melanomas off her. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

So Cecil, the craziest story of the week. This is from an article from ExoPolitics, politics, government and law in the universe. government and law in the universe. Mars visitors Basiago and Stillings confirm Barack Obama traveled to Mars. I guess the birther conspiracy just is not enough for some people. Now black people are from Mars. White people are from Venus? I don't understand. The best thing

about this story is the confidence with which it is written. Definitely. You know, you read this story and it's not like sources report, authorities say. It doesn't. It's just like, no, fuck that noise. We've traveled back in time and gone to

mars and here what i'm telling you about it and brock obama was part of the this is some crazy bullshit it's it's written in that um i just learned what a website was so i'm gonna write my article on one enormously long page this page is awesome because it's like it's like 4000 words. And, you know, all you have to do is just read like the first paragraph of this to realize the person writing this is probably fucking sitting in a pool of his own feces. Well, let me read that, actually. Yeah. What does that even mean? Like, none of those things make any sense. There's no fucking references. And then the next paragraph says this person who

served in DARPA time travel Project Pegasus in the 1970s. There's a time travel program called Project Pegasus that we somehow, like it just names the project. Like, oh, it's Project Pegasus. Don't you realize

it's Project Pegasus. Like, don't you realize it's Project Pegasus? Everybody knows about Project Pegasus. Yeah, I mean, like, fucking, that was not big news back then, right? Remember that time we went back in time? Remember that time we didn't talk about this thing that was a secret project that we're not fucking need to substantiate at all? And I'm just going to tell you that it exists? Yeah, I don't remember that, actually. I also like he says, and fellow chrononaut. Chrononaut?

Chrononaut. I love that name. That is awesome. That's fantastic. It's like an astronaut for time. That's fantastic. Who was trapped by the Mars program for his technical genius. Publicly confirmed that Obama was enrolled in their Mars training class.

And then each later encountered Obama during visits to rudimentary U.S. facilities on Mars. That's fucking delightful. Is this fucking They Live, the fucking movie? I have no, it's awesome. What the fuck? I got to put on fucking sunglasses and walk around fucking Rowdy Rowdy Piper all day? This is, the comments section is just horrific. The first comment is, Obama must be one of the 144 archons.

That's not a thing. What is that? What are you saying? What are you saying? You know, the thing is that you can tell the level of crazy in something like this with the certainty in which they use certain terms. Yes. Where in which they'll just say something that they're supposed that everybody is just supposed to believe. Yeah.

It's like a minimalist poem. You have to fucking fill in all the blanks yourself. Exactly. Because what you end up doing, you read a story like this and you're just like putting pieces together. Oh, that's part of Project Pegasus. And then you have to gain everything from context clues because there's no facts of any kind no substantiation no sources cited no elaboration of detail there's no reporting because there's no story but it is hilarious this whole site if you just bounce around this site oh i don't know man i don't this is just a compendium of crazy

it really is i mean just look at the very first Cecil, if you look at here, E.T. Council, War with Grey Draco Reptilian E.T. is one. No false flag E.T. invasion. That's right up top. Right, sure, that's one of the big ones. There's no words.

The only words I recognize are War with Grey. The rest of it is just nonsense. I love that in the 70s we had a fucking time travel program. Right. Well, that's why we managed to solve all the world's problems. Yeah, sure. We solved every problem from the 70s up.

There was no atrocities that happened because we went back in time and fixed all the atrocities from the 70s on. So there's never been an atrocity since. Or before that. Because if you could time travel, couldn't you go back? I guess. I'm not sure if time travel works only in one direction. Does it only work in the back? I'm going to tell you right now because we're all time travelers.

And it works only in one direction. What I don't get is like the 70s is the time that you choose to – could you imagine what that machine looked like in the 70s when you had like a 4-ton, 50-megabyte hard drive back then? Where like you had to have a fucking supercomputer that was the size of like a Super Aldi? Like there wasn't even a 14-4 modem in the 70s. I know. It was like a fucking 2 modem back then. Basically just fucking tapped it out with Morse code to get it into the computer. There was not a technology at this point.

It's basically just a series of spoons. What the fuck did you do? Like the 70s? That's when they made a fucking time travel? What? Yeah, that's not a – this is this is a terrific website if you want to poke around and just stare mouth yeah i mean this is like time cube right like this is except for it's a little more structured yep because it's a blog somebody else structured

it for him because if not it would be fucking all over the place so season've got to go through our email, and we got a review, an app review. It came through to us from the Android app. Remember, you can spend $2 to get an Android app and listen to the show on your Android-enabled smartphone. Somebody did that. Sheila did that. She sent us some feedback. Cecil, it was not the best feedback we've gotten.

No, yeah, we get some of these mails sometimes, and so I'm going to read it in its entirety. It won't take long. She was nice enough to make it short so we could. So Sheila says, can't take all this stupid laughing. What's so funny? I think the funny thing is that you bought our fucking app. I think that's what's funny.

You bought an app. Thanks for the dollar, Sheila. You bought an app for a free show that you don't know you already like. That you don't know that you like. Way to go. If you don't like laughing, I don't know how the fuck you got through any of it. I don't know why you would listen to the very first moment of the very first show. That's kind of the shtick here, dummy.

It's like, don't have fun. You should not enjoy yourself while you're podcasting. These are very serious issues. Right, right. Take that, Sheila. That's me laughing. Oh, God. That's awesome.

Thanks for the dollar, though. We really do appreciate it. We appreciate anybody who buys our app, and we God, that's awesome. Thanks for the dollar, though. We really do appreciate it. We appreciate anybody who buys our app, and we're happy that you did. You know, you should tell all your other joyless friends not to buy it. Yeah, I would say that if

you know anybody who hates laughing, humor, you know, we kind of do open with the whole caveat about irreverence. I'm just checking that out. Yeah, just throwing it out there. Way to go, Sheila. Thanks for the buck.

We appreciate it. Tell you what. Big fancy. I don't spend a lot of money on stuff I don't know I already like if I can have it for free. And, you know, here's the thing. In the skeptic world, there's plenty of shows out there where they don't laugh at all. Right. Go listen to those shows.

That's called most of them. Those shows are fucking made for you. Yeah. That's your thing. We also got another email from Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo sent us an email. No, it's different. There's a C in there, I thought. Isn't it Sean or

Chun? H-Y-U-N-Woo. No, I know, but like, you pronounced it correctly last time. It says, thanks for butchering my name. Tom said it perfectly the first time. So you said like, Shwanwoo or Schwan-woo? Did I? I thought I said Hyun-woo.

No. Well, I don't know what the fuck I said. I can't be responsible for everything I say. I could swear you said it different. Look, spell it out phonetically, Juan-woo. You cannot hold me accountable for my own words and actions. How dare you, sir? Spell it out phonetically.

But I do like – he sent us a Catholic logo that I will post. That is – wow. In light of, well, Catholicism, this is not the best logo. Oh, no. It's basically – if you don't get a chance to go to our site, I can describe it for you. It's basically got a priest. You can tell he's a priest because he's all in black. He's got a little white deal by his neck. It's basically got a priest. You can tell he's a priest because he's all in black. He's got a little white deal by his neck.

It's a Hitler mustache. And then it's got a little kid whose head is right at waist level reaching up for him. And if you look at it differently and you consider that that is actually the outline, it looks like his crotch is glowing.

So if you look at it in a different way and pretend there's no kid there, it just looks like he's wearing weird pants with a glowing crotch. Oh, my God. It's a divinely inspired crotch. It's actually the archbishop's new outfit. So they're getting glowing Zubaz. Well, thank you, listener from Korea who we cannot pronounce your name. We appreciate it. You know, we just can't say it.

We just can't say it. Spell it phonetically for us. Just send it to us phonetically. We promise we'll say it correctly. We can't even remember how we said it. At this point, it's actually just as much fun not to pronounce your name properly. Yeah, right.

We also got a delightful email from a bot. I think I have to say this is my favorite bot. Bot of the week. This was about two days ago. It's just like you read my mind. You apparently know a lot related to this. You don't listen to this show, bot.

You need to start listening to Sheila. Like you wrote the book in it or something. I read a lot of books in things. I wrote the book. you wrote the book in it or something. I read a lot of books in things. I wrote the book in it, dude. It is my opinion that you could do with some pics to drive what it's all about home a little. But in addition to that, it's really terrific blog. It's really terrific blog? I think that's what he's referring to us as blog.

I love the phrase, but in addition to that, I can't begin to parse the grammar of that phrase. That's great. That's wonderful. I love it. Thanks, bot. Well, in the middle of the show, we give you lots of ways in which to contact us. We love to get email. We love to get Android app feedback, and we love to get email. We love to get Android app feedback,

and we love to get messages. We love to get phone calls. So give us a call. Give us a message. Closing out 2011 here, verging on 2012. It's been a great year for us, and we thank everybody for listening thus far. And hopefully before the world ends on December 21st, this upcoming year, we're going to have a lot of fun.

So until next time, we are going to leave you as always with the Skeptics' Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble Pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized Stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing Water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch Late night info-docutainment Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage

Death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues. Temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts. Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. of nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music