Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 285: Never Go Full Alex Jones

Episode Date: March 28, 2016

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. All right, guys, I had to just call and tell you because I've called and vented your voicemail many times about the mistreatment I get as an atheist in the Bible Belt in rural Missouri. Anyway, I moved. I moved to D.C. and it's amazing. And I'm going to Reason Rally in a couple of months. I moved to D.C., and it's amazing, and I'm going to Reason Rally in a couple months, and I actually met an atheist who was, like, willing to say that they were an atheist and not scared that they were going to be, like, beat up or something like that.

And, like, it's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you guys that I made it the fuck out the Bible Belt, and I'm sure you guys aren't going to be at Reason Rally in D.C., but if you were, that would be amazing. Anyway, glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way.

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome mat this is episode 285 which is cognitive dissonance just the leftovers from last episode it is it's the fucking pantry scraping it is not it is not anything new we just don't have to tell them that. We stopped recording minutes ago. You don't have to tell them that. I just did. I just told them that. You're breaking the fourth wall. The magic is all gone.

I told them that. Jesus, man. It's a guy behind there with the levers. Shit. Don't. Quiet. No. They'll never know.

All right. So this is the stuff we recorded the last time we recorded, and we hope you enjoy it. Isn't the stuff we recorded always the stuff from last time we recorded uh and uh we hope you enjoy it isn't the stuff we recorded always the stuff from last time we recorded we get enough emails from pedants i don't need you to fucking start it on me it's like it's always been the little women that caught the vision of giving beginning with jesus himself out of their private means some of you little precious ones have that little grocery money some of that little money set aside assure tonight the blessings of god on your family by giving it to god and speaking that. Say it. God, this is for blessings on my family. This story comes from The Guardian.

Seattle man ordered to pay, repay $7 million for running online prayer scam. Businessman Benjamin Rugaboy has been ordered to repay millions for deceptive website that charged thousands of people money for prayers so this guy pastor john carlson he had a thing where he like he would he would pray for people and then they'd get you know like a baby or like uh they didn't have hiv or you know they get a lottery ticket or like whatever except for it was just fucking garbage the whole thing was garbage it was all made up yeah and this guy got caught and he had to repay a whole bunch of money that was donated to him for these prayers but i

think like like what's the difference between this and actual prayer i was gonna say is like it's all made up anyway right like it doesn't i don't really even understand like all made up and the thing is is like you're throwing the book at this guy you're saying no this guy this guy made it up and at one point this guy says this person fergus Ferguson says, and that's like an attorney general, says, I believe in the power of prayer. What I do not believe in and what I will not tolerate is unlawful businesses that prey upon people taking advantage of their faith or their need for help in order to make a quick buck. Isn't that what all the prosperity gospel people do? Isn't that what all of the fucking like I can cure the sick people do? Isn't that what all of the fucking I can cure the sick people do? Isn't that what all prayer is?

It's just garbage? The idea that you're differentiating between prayer that works and prayer that doesn't work? Show me a fucking study where prayer works, man. Show me a study where a pastor means something. They're fucking getting after him because he's like a fake pastor. All pastors are fake, man!

There's not a real pastor in the world. It's not like God anoints you himself with fucking oil. You're all fake. You're all fucking made it up, man. It's like they're mad because he didn't actually pray. Yes, I did. Yeah. Well, you're going to prove I didn't.

Yeah. Hold on a minute. Go to my prayer vault and take out my prayer. Oh, he doesn't have any inventory of prayers in his prayer storage room. Exactly, man. What are you fucking kidding me? It's hoping at the sky real hard. It's super easy.

That's it. And you could do all these prayers. All you got to do is fucking speed read them, man. Look down and be like. Even if you don't, who cares? Bill's head. All I have to do is pass my eyes over it. And the other thing, thing too is like fucking

is god so fucking dopey that he needs some jag off to be like hey can you pray for bill oh i didn't know bill needed help okay here we go no problem we're gonna send somebody down gabriel go take care of bill because because pastor jones said take care of bill i only do it if it goes from one guy they gotta play a little telephone here the thing. We got a chain of command. Right? I can't. It's like, look, there's some authority parameters, and you do not have them. I need it in triplicate from the pastor, and he needs to be a pastor.

I got to rub him down with oils first. It's fucking garbage. It's like we've talked about this before. It's like I have to tell God I don't want cancer. I know. Really? People get cancer. It's like, oh, I'll pray for you.

It's like, I think God knows I don't want cancer? I know. Really? People get cancer. It's like, oh, I'll pray for you. It's like, I think God knows I don't want cancer. You know what? I like it when people have a bunch of cells that grow out of control. I'd like you to have that. That's a gift I'm giving to you. That's the worst gift. You have a gift receipt. I don't want that. And I'm going to put little teeth and hair in there for you, just for you.

It's like, thanks for the terrible disease that will bankrupt me and ruin my health. But actually, I didn't want that. It turns out I want literally the opposite of that thing. I want great health and money. That's the thing. It's like God has a giant bag full of riches and terrible shit, and he just dumps it. And then whatever hits you, you're like, oops, sorry.

I got to pray. I got to ask nice. God, it's so infuriating. Because here's the thing. We're friends, right? If I knew you needed something and i made you beg me for it anyway right that makes me an asshole yeah if i know you need something and i can give it to you and i don't give it to you then i'm not your friend i'm an asshole i'm like

i'm just gonna go ahead and keep that if you're like god damn fucking a hundred dollars can change my life right now just beg i would like you to beg for it yeah get on your fucking knee and i want you to swallow. Those are the two things that I want. Beg and swallow. Show it to me first. Tell me you want me to come in your face. It's a leave-in conditioner. Go ahead and style it. This guy wound up

getting fucking $7 million and he has to give money back, etc. But the thing is, you're not cracking down on Joel Osteen. You're not cracking down on that guy who's like... Or the guy, the prosperity guy who's like... Whatever the fucking guy is who says all the weird shit. Or the Creflo Dollar, right?

Or the Creflo Dollar just straight up saying like, make me richer! I don't have enough gold! He's a dragon! He's a fucking dragon! He's just like, put the gold under me he's got fucking big red wings yeah he does have big red wings they're on his private jet yeah that fucking guy yeah exactly like why not creflo dollar right but instead it's like oh well he's a real pastor what does that even mean a real real pastor? They got this guy into being a fake pastor. They're fucking fake, but they're all fake, man.

Jesus Christ. You're all sick. Oh, be nice. Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay. Oh, my God. What's happening now? We work hard.

We play hard. Everybody dance now. So this story comes in the right wing watch cruise aligned pastor execute girl scout leaders for promoting homosexuality he doesn't kind of he kind of doesn't say that so this is from kevin swanson so let's go ahead and listen to what he actually says and then we'll uh we'll chat about it i want to play this clip though and this clip is from that same event where he was talking about the fucking when he's like, oh, smeared dung on myself instead of the pews and all that stuff. So this is the same event. And it's when he was talking about Ted Cruz.

But it's a totally different clip. So let's listen to it. It's basically talking about death penalty for gay people. Yes. Leviticus 2013 calls for the death penalty for homosexuals. Yes, Romans 1.32, the Apostle Paul does say that homosexuals are worthy of death. His words, not mine. And I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Is he weeping? Is he weeping? No, he's just, I think he's, I think that's his dramatic voice. His dramatic voice sounds warbly. His dramatic voice does sound wobbly. He's got that like, you don't fucking make, sounds like he's begging for his life. And I am not ashamed of the truth of the word of God. And I am willing to go to jail.

For what? For killing a gay dude. Well, dude, if you're willing to go to jail for killing a gay dude, why haven't you done it yet? Right. Go kill a gay dude, right? Like, no, I don't actually advocate that. I don't advocate it either. That's terrible.

I don't advocate it either. I do the opposite of advocating that. But at the same time, this guy is saying, like, fucking, I'm willing to go to jail go to jail are you willing because nobody's going to put you in jail because you think bigoted thoughts right there's fucking plenty of bigots you can think all the bigoted shit you want and you can even say it on a stage it turns out nobody's gonna fucking there's not it's not like the gay police are running out and tackling this guy and being like sorry we got to put you in these rainbow handcuffs take it out buddy we got to put you in this fabulous outfit. Put you behind bars. It's the best jumper ever.

It's perfectly fitted. Like they have a tailor. They have a tailor to fit it to you. For standing on the truth of the word of God. And I know I've taken the counsel. Many have told me this weekend, you be careful. You choose your words carefully. We have presidentials coming down to this conference this weekend.

I understand that. But I am not ashamed of the truth of the word of God. Shut up. God, it's just false. It's just so false. It's like he's just working himself up into this fucking lather of lying garbage. Yeah. Stop it.

Stop it. I just wanted to clunk his head against something. Just cut it out. Just tell him to go lay down. Just go lay down. Bad Swanson. And I'm willing to go to jail for it. You said that already.

Jesus Christ. Then they asked me. Nobody asked you anything. Yes, but do you advocate? You said that already. Jesus Christ. Then they asked me. Nobody asked you anything. Yes, but do you advocate for our civil leaders to do this today? To do what? Kill people. And my answer is?

Breathing heavy. No. That's a plus, right? All right. I mean, he's saying we shouldn't kill gay people, even though it says it in the Bible. Right. And that seems like a direct. Yeah. He's saying basically, I'll do it, but I don't think our leaders should do it.

He's also saying, like, I need to do some cardio because he's worked himself up. He can't even fucking take a breath. Get on a fucking elliptical, bro. Like, you're out of breath talking. Well, he's a martyr. Talk yourself out of breath talking well he's a martyr talked yourself out of breath he's acting like a martyr so he's cross-fitting jesus if he was cross-fitting his whole thing would be a crawl about crossfit he'd be telling you the whole time he'd be telling you about the fucking wad he just did

hey bro i totally pr'd my fucking dead like a trillion deadlifts and burpees man fucking wreck my back. I got hemorrhages in all my muscles right now. Watch me flail out a million pull-ups. I got rimeo mimosis or whatever the fuck it is. Robbed your mimosis? Mimosis. That's when they serve you.

That's when your muscles turn into orange juice. Yeah, they turn into that and then you just die. But why? Here's why. Calm down, bro. Because that's not such a big deal. It's not such a big deal? Then why are you breathing so heavy?

Geez, gay people aren't such a big deal? Gay people are a huge deal. Didn't you just want to kill him like 40 seconds ago? He is so worked up. The guy sounds like he just fucking ran up a fucking flight at like the whole hancock building he's so fucking we just got done in a glory hole in a gay bar we are not to fear those who can kill the body yay jesus says fear rather the the one who can cast body and soul in hell forever.

What are you talking about? I don't even know what that means. What does that even mean? Fucking first off, show me a hell, and then show me the catapult that does that. Yeah, right? Yeah. Okay, so wait a minute, wait a minute.

Don't worry about the gays. Worry about the people that are going to trash your soul. That's what he's saying, right? Because the dudes that are just going to trash your body. That's kind of hot. The dudes that are just going to trash your body, right? They're going to just break this shit. Yeah fine they're gonna wreck right they're just gonna fucking run up in there r-e-k-t baby they're gonna split that fucker right in half right

so those dudes eh but if they fuck with your soul okay so now who are those people well let's find out all right let's find out the discussion concerning the capital punishment of homosexuals is nothing. It's not all that important when contrasted with hellfire forever. You say, why wouldn't you call for it? I say it's because we need some time for homosexuals to repent. That's why. What? What's happening?

He's basically saying what we need to do is we shouldn't kill them. We need to tell them that they're doing bad stuff so that they'd stop doing it but that's not going to work it still doesn't address this prior issue of like well we don't need to worry about the people that trash the body we need to worry about the ones that trash the soul now who are those people well he didn't say i know he didn't say secret people oh okay the secret don't tell anybody they're like they're freemasons can they be gay too secret gay people i don't know can you you can beemasons. Can they be gay too? Secret gay people? I don't know. You can be a secret gay person. That is true, right?

You absolutely can be a secret gay person. You can totally be a secret gay person. Ask Kevin Swanson. Bravo, sir. Nailed it. So did he. We need time for adulterers. And friends, please understand, there is not much difference between adultery and homosexuality.

Actually, you could be both. Right? Yeah. Not necessarily any difference. You could be both. You could be an adulterer and you could be gay. I will say, though, that it's refreshing that he's picking on another group of people. Sure. Yeah. No i mean like hell yeah i mean hopefully brings the blacks into this too i'm excited yeah fucking there's all kinds of sure women can he can he can he punch a woman on the stage or a midget woman like a midget woman yeah no midget lesbian committing adultery

just kick her across the fucking room is Is there any other minority group? Between the uprights. We could attack here because it'd be awesome. A black lesbian midget committing adultery. As conveyed by the word of God. There's not much difference between adultery and divorcees who themselves have committed adultery. What about the divorcees that haven't committed? No, everybody, all divorcees have committed adultery because you can't technically annul your marriage.

Oh, really? I think so. Oh. By illegitimate divorce or remarriage. There is hardly any difference. They need time to repent. No! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So sad. Okay. All right. Okay. This guy is awesome okay all right sorry i had a i had fucking i had a big bowl of weepies i'm not even i'm not even kidding like this guy is the kind of guy you visit in a place with plain white walls right with a white coat on this he seriously sounds insane like He does not sound well. This is a guy who wears a self-hugging coat. Yeah, that's the hugger. They don't let you take that one home. They don't put that in the goodie bag.

Seriously, man. He sounds fucking unwell. He sounds unwell. Do you understand? America needs time to repent! You say, why don't you call for it? America needs time to repent! It's not going to happen.

Nobody cares. Nobody cares enough. Nobody cares enough that you think America needs time to repent. Nobody cares enough to stop doing this. What they want to do is have a good life. A life that they know exists. And they want to stop listening to fairy tales and myths. And you know what? Your fairy tales

and myths are on the way fucking out. Nobody cares. You cannot scare people anymore with your boogeyman stories. It's not going to work anymore. What about if you weep it at them? Doesn't work. And then you get all out of breath. Are you fucking convinced from fucking weeping McWeepersons here? I'm pretty sure from what he said, I'm going to all the hells of breath. Are you fucking convinced from fucking weepers? I'm super convinced.

I'm pretty sure from what he said, I'm going to all the hells. Jeez. I'm fucking. You're like double fucking secret probation hell. You were asking for a flood. There's your flood. Right. There it is. Your flood of tears.

He's going to flood Kentucky with his fucking tears. Get all the salt in the world. Of their homosexuality, their adultery, and their porn addictions. Yes, here we got porn in the mix. Now that's new. All right, porn addiction. Keep going. What about if it's not an addiction?

It's just, you know, a dabble. Like it's a hobby. Let's see what he considers an addiction. And I'm speaking 80% of young men who, according to Barna Research last year, have confessed to a porn addiction to at least weekly or monthly involvement. First off, weekly and monthly is very different. Very different. That's very different. But like a monthly drink?

Am I addicted to alcohol? You're a fucking alcoholic. You drink 12 drinks all year. Give me a break. Are you kidding me? I would be thrilled to get to 12 drinks a week. If I got to 12 drinks a week, I got to 12 if i got to 12 drinks a week i'd be like holy shit my fucking liver fight my liver would send me a thank you card 12 drinks a week what i got i haven't everything

if you got to do something once a month or you're addicted it's like fucking then i've got a fucking name it addiction like you can't even come up with something i'm not addicted to once a month every 30 days i'm committing every sin all of them every i go through a checklist what am i hold on a minute the fucking month is almost over gotta kill a homeless dude i fucking i have people fucking i hire a service to remind me of the sins i haven't done right sir yeah you haven't actually haven't actually pillaged a village yet so yeah well here we go you need to get on 28th you only got three days left. You've got to fucking wrap this shit.

In pornography, an addiction that my friends constitute such a pornea that, as I see it, they are not qualified to even marry. You can't get married because you fucking wanked to porn? They don't qualify to marry. What did we fucking ask you? Are you fucking kidding? Like, fuck off, dude. Nobody cares. I'm not going to send you a fucking notarized letter and be like oh mr swanson is there any way you're gonna prove my fuck off

you don't get to prove anybody's marriage you're a twat on a stage fucking worried about people jerking off dude stop worrying about people jerking off man you get down on one knee and you're like you know here's the thing i just really love you and i think uh i think we should get married and i think ken swanson do you jerk off to porn well i mean i mean i have only like once a month no way fuck you wait but everything's been going so well no ayo gross oh my god you're a hockey man you're a hockey hockey hockey uh this didn't go very well this is not it's crazy it's 2016 there's porn in your pocket. It's your phone. Everybody looks at porn.

It's a thing. It's ridiculous. We have a thing called a pocket pussy. Okay. Look, hold on a second. Humanity has made leaps and bounds in the last several years with the fleshlight. Right. Okay.

Fuck people walking on the moon. I can fuck a removable vagina. Okay. But seriously, this fucking guy thinks he's that. Fuck people walking on the moon. I can fuck a removable vagina, okay? But seriously, this fucking guy thinks he's that. Like, I don't even think you should be allowed to get married. Well, fucking, I don't think you should be allowed to be on stage. Right? But neither are our fucking opinions matter.

Yeah, I don't think you should fucking weep instead of talk. I think you should be able to talk until you're not out of breath. Give me a break, dude. America's steeped in a destructive form of sexuality and friends they're bound for hell it's not america dude it's the whole world fucking has access to the internet unless you're in fucking like some weird like north korea place right or china and i guarantee they have fucking porn in china here's the thing i guarantee they have porn in north korea because they've had porn there's fucking porn in china here's the thing i guarantee they have porn in north korea because

they've had porn there's fucking porn on fucking ancient vases yeah like as soon as people were able to draw the first thing they draw it's like i drew i drew a penis yeah just like hey check out these giant boobies right it's fucking doll it's the first thing you draw it's like i drew a smiley face and then i drew fucking anal sex that's what it I said. I just... I fucking... Yeah. The ancients in my mind went straight to anal sex as well. Right, that's it. Yeah.

Back then, what did you use for lube, though? They're like using fucking like a rabbit liver or something. Just coconut oil. It was all coconut oil. Do you understand? It's not so much an issue of the death penalty. It's an issue of god's judgment that's hanging upon of this nation today that's it that's it he fucking blew his wad with that fucking god's

judgment dude who cares we'll fucking let him do it fucking great i know who fucking can't wait i can't wait that'll be super exciting to stand in front of some fucking hillbilly yokel and be like you know one time you watched porn hub oh no gotta go to hell with you right be like off it's like you masturbated then why did you give me a penis why did you make my arms that long this was a bad fucking why did you make me the two small arm guy with the small head you already gave me the tiny penis just make me the small arm guy with the small head? You already gave me the tiny penis. Just make it all small. What's wrong with you?

I got a fucking huge belly, tiny cock. You could have just gone one step further. Can't you just make it all small? Like a micro machine. So let's finish up the same exact story. This is the same one. This is the Cruz-aligned pastor execute scout leaders for promoting homosexuality. This is the the story that comes with this.

This is the one that sort of the headline is about. And this one has some how to train your dragon stuff in there, which I don't know why that's in there. But he doesn't like certain movies. He thinks they're super gay. So let's listen to this and see what he thinks. All right. Back on the Generations Radio broadcast, this is Kevin Swanson, a homeschool father of five, also a pastor of a church out here in the eastern plains of Colorado.

Two and a half years ago, we took a stand against the Girl Scouts, against all of the political pushback and, of course, the media pushback. That's the primary form of persecution you get these days. And you probably lose a fair number of friends. You don't gain friends, certainly, over exposing the Girl Scouts. When you expose yourself to the Girl Scouts, you should not gain friends. Well, it depends on the age of the Scouts. If they're 18 and over, it's fine.

Certain states, it might be 16 and fine. Yeah, in the South. That's hardly even America, though, as you discovered recently. It's American icon. That's one reason why people aren't going to be all that impressed with you taking something of a stand against an organization that promotes lesbianism and abortion and contraception for 14-year-old girls. I promote contraception for 14. That's a great thing for 14 year old girls look here's the thing you can i think it's entirely reasonable and rational to have a 14 year old

human being in your in your life that you're that you're parenting and mentoring and like and to teach them that you know they are not ready for sex and sexual contact and all that kind of good stuff but sometimes kids still have sex even if you tell them not to even if you like do all of the things right sometimes they say so contraception is not a bad thing that's convinced many 14 year olds we gotta i gotta not have this show anymore please but what's the alternative though the alternative is i would much rather have a a 14 year-old or, at this point, I guess it would be a 15-year-old with a baby. That's your other alternative. Right.

Because the fucking they're not going to think about it isn't an option, man. It's not an option. I know people will be like, well, if I train my kid right, okay, well, then they won't need the contraception that I'm going to give them anyway. Because it's going to hurt them, right? If you train the kid, they could have a condom in their fucking purse and never use it right never use that fucking turn into a water balloon great you'll never need it because you know what because you know what because you're a fucking you've trained this kid to be the the the most pious little shit there is so it's not gonna need any kind of birth control but the thing is is like fucking what about those kids that are going to have a baby?

I would much rather have a kid fill a fucking condom up with cum than fucking parent at 15 years old. Absolutely. It doesn't. The thing is, like, it's not going to hurt them to have a frank conversation with them about contraception and then to give them access to contraception. Whereas I don't understand. And I mean this with real sincerity. I don't understand the pushback against that. I get that it's uncomfortable. I get that what you really want is for your 14-year-old not to have sex.

Fucking, I'm 100% on board. I don't think a 14-year-old human being has the emotional and intellectual and any other wherewithal to responsibly engage in sexual behavior. Nonetheless, we know that kids do. We know that 14-year-olds sometimes have sex. That's just the truth. That's just fucking – that's just the truth. And it's fucking – and it's –

Where's the harm? It's played out in the fact that we have abstinence-only fucking education throughout this nation. And there's plenty of kids that get that have sex so you know what you're never gonna prevent it through that you can still teach your kid abstinence only be like look this is the only fucking jesus will be superman you could say that all day fucking it's your kid man scare him with hell if you want that's awesome but give him a fucking rubber it it like it literally costs almost nothing it costs almost it's a one awkward conversation one time yeah then you give it to them they put

in their wallet they put it in their purse whatever it is and then and you feel weird and they feel weird and everybody feels real weird but then they don't get pregnant don't get preggers they don't get pregnant that's don't get preggers. They don't get pregnant. That's way better than like, oh, I didn't feel weird. But then I had to be like, and then I had to hold your hand and tell you to push. Yep, yep, yep. Now, we also took a stand against How to Train Your Dragon and Harry Potter for the homosexual mentors. Because of all the problems we have in America, How to Train Your Dragon, a fucking DreamWorks movie that came out years ago. Is there like a fucking big gay dragon in it or something?

Seriously, first of all, this movie is fucking like four years old. Sure. So you're still excited about like, oh, we fucking really fought How to Train. That's why it didn't come out. Oh, yeah. So you had an unsuccessful. No, actually, the movie fucking came out, made a jillion dollars, and then had a sequel. Yeah.

So did you see it? Because you see all these. I saw How to Train Your Dragon. Is there a big gay dragon? I mean, there's a fucking gay sex orgy in the middle. No, there's no gay dragon. It's a kid's movie. There's a dragon.

It hurts its wing. The kid's like, oh, you hurt your wing. That sucks. I'll fix your wing. Now we're super friends. Everyone should love dragons. The end. That's the movie.

That's the movie. That's the movie. Spoiler alert. For the homosexual mentors provided to little boys. And we felt that was homosexual mentors provided to little boys. There's dudes in the movie. It's a fucking. Okay. So there's Vikings.

I'm just going to tell you. There's like Vikings. They live on a fucking Viking Island or whatever, and they're scared of the dragons. And then the little boy makes friends with the dragons. Are they gay Vikings? No, they're just, and the dude's just like, all they're doing is teaching kids how to fight dragons. How are they gay mentors? They're not teaching them to fuck someone in the ass.

Like, it's not like. Is that how you fight dragons i don't even understand i'm trying to think like i've seen this movie like four times are there male mentors yes but they mentor boys and girls at the same time there's several girl characters they interact freely there's not like a separate group of male on male mentors but even if there were it'd be like kind of hot actually that's a different movie but but like is the dragon a different kind of gay person like you have the gay bears do you have the gay dragons it's really just a russian dick it's able to see my dragon sort of a bad deal bringing back the greek gymnasium vision we

didn't particularly like that bringing back the greek gymnasium vision we didn't particularly like that bringing back the greek gymnasium so well like i think gymnasium actually means place to be naked right that's that's what a gymnasium actually is and they used to like the greeks they would wrestle they wrestled naked that was a thing yeah yeah so like pastors and young boys do that right yeah sure they wrestle naked all the time yeah they. They call that communion. Last one in. Last one in's got to do a dare. Got to drop your balls on my chin. Last one in's a rotten anus.

I've seen this movie. There's nothing Greek in it. They're Vikings. So there's no Greek anything in it. And they go in like an arena type thing. And then they fight anything in it. And like, do they go in like an, they go in like an arena type thing and then they fight dragons in it. They don't go in an arena and fuck each other. And if they did go to an arena, I watched that arena one because of my porn addiction.

I watch it once a month. I watch it once a month. I watch it once a month. It's bookmarked. And we raised some concerns about that. Of course, you don't gain friends doing this kind of thing. You don't win friends with salad, I'll tell you that much. With tossing someone salad? I bet you could win a friend.

I know that. I know your ministry is not going to do well. This is not how you build the mega church. But friends, I don't care. I really don't care. There are points I do. I have to admit that occasionally my pride is affected. And when we take the hits as an organization, very, very difficult.

And it's nice to move product and gain listeners and so forth. It is nice to move product. Wow. Yeah. I bet you he's getting seven bucks on every glory hole, Matt. Yeah. I bet you he's getting seven bucks on every glory hole, Matt. But yeah, I understand you don't gain much ground when you take on American icons.

But we take Matthew 18.6 seriously, friends. It's our Lord Jesus Christ. He said it in no uncertain terms. If somebody offends one of these little ones who believes in me, it would be better for him that a millstone be hanged around his neck and he be ground at the bottom of the sea. The mafia treatment. This is – Jesus was a fucking hitman. Hey, fucking here's the thing. Either you fucking teach my book or I'm going to put a fucking millstone around your neck. You're going to wind up at the bottom of the Dead Sea.

You know what? I call it the fucking Dead Sea because Jesus was there earlier. Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you. No, no, no. You fucking look at me. Don't make me fucking flip this table over. I will flip this motherfucking table over.

The fuck? That's amazing. Fucking millstone. We're talking about millstones, Tom. Where would I ever get a millstone? The Amish. The fuck? First of all, I'm mad. I'm like,

I'm going to go find a mill. I got to get my fucking DeLorean and go 88 miles an hour back to the past to get my millstone. I'm in Illinois. I got to get a millstone to drown you in the ocean. I have so much work to do. I got to go find a mill. I got to take the stone. I got to get you.

I got to kidnap you, throw you both in the trunk. Drive you to the ocean. Tie this fucker around your back and then push you off the pier or whatever. If I went to the ocean in Mississippi, though, I would drown myself. That's what I would do. That's just the air. Yeah. One of Jesus' most serious statements ever made in all of his ministry. As opposed to his fucking running line of stand-up comedy. One of those fucking party balloon things.

Like, pew! Pew! Oh, Jesus, you're such a cut-up. What a cut, eh? He's got a lampshade on his head. Look at him go! Hey, guys, it's water. It's wine. It's water.

It's wine. Ha-ha! I gotta take that seriously, that Jesus means it when he says, if you offend one of these little ones and when you make the wrong choices in terms of their paideia, their training, and you set them before how to train your dragon mentors who happen to be homosexuals. They're cartoons. Does he not know that they like there's they can't look. It's a fucking drawing.

It can't take its pants off. It's not actually wearing pants. It's a't look it's a fucking drawing it can't take its pants off it's not actually wearing pants it's a cartoon it's a drawing it's not a real thing it's an animated thing yeah they're not actual people they can't have sexuality unless unless the sexuality is explicitly on the next time right right yeah or movies that promote homosexuality or organizations that promote homosexuality. When you offend one of these little ones that believes in me, it would be better for you that a millstone be hanged around your neck and you be drowned at the bottom of the sea. Those are serious words, Steve. And you got to take him seriously.

Well, fucking the Bible's full of death, man. The Bible's full of fucking floating people anyway. I know, right? Who cares? bible's full of death man the bible's full of fucking floating people anyway fucking people as you're fucking you're banging their heads as you go to shore as their fucking bloated corpses are littered in the sea in fucking in genesis and then you just work your way through and it's just fucking death after death after death people getting fucking mauled and killed and fucking bears going out and eating kids and fucking tons of people die what are you fucking trying to scare me with a millstone dude fucking how about the genesis of the entire earth

you're like running out with this big heavy millstone and all i have to do is jog lightly away like hold on okay this is the same guy who got out of breath talking yeah like he's gonna show up with a fucking millstone dude if we killed everybody that the Bible says to kill, there'd be nobody left around. We'd kill everybody. It's like, oh, you fucking were mean to your mom and dad. Boo, you're dead. Adulterers, divorces. Fucking everybody would be dead.

Everybody. There'd be like one dude left hitting himself with a rock. He'd fucking drown himself. He'd be like, I'm all alone. Where's my millstone? I'm out of millstones. If you believe that Jesus Christ christ is god he's the very source of truth and he means what he says you got to take what he says and you have to apply it

and and the reason for that is you know if you're if you're leading these little children into sin if you're training them in unbiblical lifestyle and things like that, that affects generations, which is what we've seen in America. And that's, I mean, we've seen this throughout the world as well. But that's why he's so serious. Children are very trusting and very moldable. You need to train them in the truth, not in the lie. We want to challenge parents on this radio program not to give your 14-year-old girls abortifacients and contraceptives,

but rather bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Don't train your little girls to be feminists. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be feminists. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts.

If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis.

If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Glenn Beck, failure. That was good. Failure.

You were close. You were close. This story comes from right i gotta elucidate each word properly this story comes from right wing watch glenn beck failure to elect ted cruz will leave us with blood on our hands you fuckers all right well let's uh let's do blood on our hands then. All right. It's time to be bold. I mean, this fucking guy couldn't be bold if he was riding a bear into battle. He couldn't be bold. Nothing about this guy screams bravery, right? He could be riding Putin into battle. Who would be riding the bear?

Yeah, exactly. It's basically a Putin totem pole. It's a Beck-Putin bear totem pole. I'm going to be in Arizonarizona and utah this weekend for the campaign and um i'm doing it because that's what i can do others can do whatever it is you do but even if it's one person you'd be bold we're we're on the Titanic. It's going down. Knock on every single door. They don't want to come?

Fine. Don't waste time. The Titanic is going down. But you knock on every single door. Can I tell you about the truth? Can I tell you about the truth? Can I tell you about the truth? Because here's what's coming.

Here's what's coming. They don't want to hear it. Up to them. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a Mormon thing to do right there. Sounds exotic. Somebody knocks on my door. Can I tell you about the truth to them. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a Mormon thing to do right there. Sounds exact. Somebody knocks on my door. Can I tell you about the truth?

No. No, you cannot. I have no interest in what. I don't care what you're. You could be like, can I tell you the truth? Your house is actively on fire and there are flames on your baby. I'd be like, I'm going to need you to leave. I would get off my property.

Yeah, I could like the smell of the burning flesh of my infant son could be crawling up my nostrils. And I would still be like, I'm just going to have to ask you to go. It's the worst. But remember what Ezekiel said. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I almost forgotten. Here's the thing.

In my life, I never listen to anyone named Ezekiel. Ezekiel, you will be held responsible. This is the thing that I don't understand from religious people. I just don't get it. We've been given much. Much is required. Required. Not expected. Required. Beyond that, Ezekiel talks about these times and says, The times? What fucking times, dude?

We're in the end times. Don't you know? There's 6,000 years and two days. What's the end, man? The numerality. These people don't believe in fucking global warming, right? So fucking that's not a real thing to them. So that's not a danger. What's the danger, man?

It's ISIS, man. It's brown people. They're scary. Haven't you seen a brown person? ISIS. They're super scary. It's like fucking three guns. They're super scary, dude. First of all, brown people. So if that doesn't get your fucking hackles that's true yeah i don't know

what i can tell you if that doesn't work browner people yeah ferguson right and basically everybody in your own way you're a watchman on the tower you're a watchman at the gate and the blood of the people who could have been saved now think of this because we're talking about the rights of all mankind if america goes down this isn't hyperbole anymore this isn't hyperbole anymore you don't know he fucking he doesn't know the definition of that word this isn't hyperbole anymore i will say though that of the assholes i think glenn beck believes his shit oh yeah absolutely i think absolutely this guy is he's a true and poop on himself right he is fucking he's dub dub dub that shit this guy believes it all this isn't like a famous reagan speech that he gave if we go away where

does anybody go this is real if we go away where is? Okay, fucking where are we going? What does that mean, though? But where are we going? No, no, let's start at the fucking beginning. Where are we going, man? This isn't the fucking fall of the Roman Empire, dude. Fucking where are we going? What's the threat to us going anywhere?

You've been fucking harping on this for seven years. Obama's going to fucking bring about the end times. Well, fucking man, here we are. I know, like man up, Obama's going to fucking bring about the end times. Well, fucking man, here we are. I know, like man up, Obama. I'm rolling into the fucking eighth year of this guy's presidency, and I haven't seen a bit of end times. Not a single bit. Well, fucking you cannot keep fucking pulling that chain. It's fucking broken off.

It's on the ground. You have nothing to deliver. Now where the fuck are we going to go? Like now it's just like not just Obama's going to – now it's the Americans are just going to go. Are they going to put us on a spaceship? Where are we going? What the fuck are you talking about, you crazy person? Wait a minute.

Hold on. Hold on. You didn't get your spaceship ticket? I got mine. Well, I love to like – it's like – but then there will. So America goes down, right? I don't even know what that means, but we go. America goes down and now there's not an America. Again, I don't really know what that means.

The whole global economy would collapse. It's fine. Okay, whatever. America goes down. Then there's no freedom. Yeah. Are we the only ones free? The Canadians are just like, we're pretty free.

Fucking Europe's just like, we got freedom galore. Australia's's like freedom over here like there's fucking most of the world has freedom yeah most of the world is as or more free as we are once we go away they all get amnesia they forget what it's like just so sick of this like this fucking but it's not hyperbole free country but it's not hyperbole tom jesus it's not hyperbole it's like every place is fucking north korea except for except for america so all of the freedom that will be lost all of the lives that will be lost because we refuse to pay attention on our hands oh god there it is yeah because fucking a giant goddamn baby doesn't get elected right a giant baby who's gonna have very little power doesn't matter fucking trump with and i love by the way john oliver keeps on saying his little sausage fingers

he keeps on i was i saw that clip god it's so funny it's so funny but like trump with his tiny little hands donald trump again trump trump doesn't matter man fucking you know the thing is is like the president has a lot less power than these people seem to be throwing at. I know the president is a powerful person, but there's a lot less power than people seem to think they have. Well, they seem to think that it's what we're electing is ruler of the universe. Exactly. I think we're electing he man. Yeah, sure.

It's like it's like you're going to show up. Oh, the next Jesus. Oh, here's your sword. Yeah. Enjoy the powers of Grayskull. It's like, it's like you're going to show up. Oh, the next Jesus. Oh, here's your sword. Yeah. Enjoy the powers of grace. Here's your battle. Cat. Ride this in the battle.

In the name of Jesus. We speak that. Oh, Ramana. Shanda. Karaba. No. Corinna.

Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. It's from right wing watch Pat Robertson. Even recordings of my TV show. Can you use Cecil? Cecil, Cecil, don't put your head in your hands. Do not do that. I will say this is true, though.

It's true. And the reason why recordings of his show will heal me is I could have any debilitating disease and be on a bed. And if someone puts even a tape of his video of his show on, I will miraculously stand up and leave and kill myself. You're like a double amputee like 10 minutes ago you're like i'll crawl out the door doesn't matter i will fucking use my lips i will crawl off the door myself out of the closest window i'll just use the bed to fold me in half and suffocate me just keeps clapping me until i die. All right, here's fucking giant-faced Pat. Here we go.

This first one comes from Dana, who says, I have to work daily, even though I'm very sick, so I DVR every episode of The 700 Club. I pray with you on each of the healings, although I'm not watching live. Is it still possible for me to receive healing when I'm not praying for the miracle live? I feel so bad for this person. I seriously... There's some fucking sick

person out there who's like, I'm super sick and I have to fucking go work every day and I'm gonna fucking... I just want to know. You come home to your fucking cup of noodles and your fucking 700 club and your fucking white wine spritzer just trying not to kill yourself trying not to die today

yeah sorry my colon leaked out of my body earlier i have prolapsed heart It's not even a thing. No, it is in you. It's actually stomach. It's one of your many stomachs. Tell you a story, but it's kind of a fun thing. Somebody was watching our program on tape. They were in Florida.

We were in Virginia. The show had been taped a week week before and uh i was praying i was watching and i said there's somebody that has a bad knee jesus fucking christ fucking everybody who listens to the show is 112 years old they all have bad knees because we're bipeds we have bad knees because we're bipeds. We have bad knees because we're bipeds. It's like saying, oh, you have arthritis. Yeah, I'm fucking, I am a million years old. Like fucking every bone in my body is crying out to die.

Yes, yes, I have arthritis. Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking, oh, yeah, you have bad eyesight. No shit, dude. Right? The fuck? It's fucking, these are the easiest ones to pull out. I got to get somebody to read the menu to me at the restaurant.

What about the person who had the fucking, like, the fucking fountain of youthism? What about that person, huh? Call that person out of your audience, Pat. And the Lord is healing, and I believe it's the right knee. This woman said to the tape, no, dummy, it's the right knee this woman said to the tape no dummy it's the left knee at that time i said on the tape no it is the left knee and the woman got healed wow so listen and we've had things in africa take place where the spirit of god rebuked demon spirits and drove them out of a sure it did sure it did yeah we were in fucking africa where nobody can verify anything right and fucking some

everybody's just like i'll just like if you want to kill a kid africa's the place to be right there's no records man it's like you show up and it's they're just like i don't care what you rebuke give me a food i want a food and a medicine you can fucking you can show up and they're just like, I don't care what you rebuke. Give me a food. I want a food and a medicine. You can fucking show up and be like, I got food. Can I pray? Be like, pray? Yeah. Pray.

I don't give a fuck. First of all, I don't even know what you're saying. It's a different language, right? He's like, I don't know if that means here is the food. Here is the food. Here is the food. Here is the food. I don't know what you're saying.

It doesn't mean anything. Rebuke what you want. Give me a satchel of rice. I love that this guy is just like, yeah, fucking somebody in the audience was like, oh, hey, man, fucking here's the deal. It's the other leg. And then you went to the other leg. Did you hear them in the fucking in the past to go to the other leg? How does that even work?

I can talk to fucking VHS tapes now and the people will do what I want? I'll do what I want. It's unbelievable what goes on. The power of God is not limited. Yes, it is. God's infinite.

It's fucking limited by you praying for it. It's limited because you have to fucking dole it out. It's fucking clearly limited, man. You have fucking dole it out it's fucking clearly limited man you have to ladle it out to people one knee at a time fuck man it's fucking completely limited it's the fucking most limited thing in the universe because it doesn't exist even if that shit is exclusive dude even it's like a fucking hot nightclub exclusive right it's worse than that fucking seven billion people on the planet and he's fixing

one knee at a time one knee at a time there's 14 billion knees and i would right hold on a minute how long does it take well let's figure this one show he doesn't want to show if he does a show a day so it's fucking yeah show a day let's say it's an hour long fucking cures one knee a day so he's got 14 billion 14 billion days i'm still typing zeros yeah divided by 365 let's say he does one every day yeah i'll be done in about 38 000 years okay he might live that long that's it's pat that's fair so also from right wing watch there's a big hoopla about this. Donald Trump, David Duke. David Duke? Does he ride like in the General Lee?

No, dude. That's totally. That's a different Duke? That's a totally different Duke. That's a different Duke. Here's the thing. Yeah. There's Daisy Duke.

Okay. I'm listening. Yeah. I'm listening. I had such a crush on that guy. I didn't even know what my dick was back then. I was like, oh my god! Holy shit!

Her in Wonder Woman. I was just like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Fucking amazing, man. Did you see, and I didn't see the movie, but I've seen the clips of when Jessica Simpson played Daisy Duke. No, I didn't watch it. I need to watch it on slow-mo. Please YouTube this right now. Fucking go, no, I'm serious.

YouTube right now. Jessica Simpson plays Daisy Duke, and you're just like, I don't care what the rest of this movie is about. I'm going to need a minute. I'm going to need several minutes. Was she a blonde in it? I don't remember. Her hair?

That seems apocryphal. Her hair? That seems apocryphal to the Duke legend. Her hair? Yeah, so this is a fucking monster. This is like a former grand poobah of the KKK or whatever. This guy has a big hood. Does he?

Yeah. Fucking big clitoral. And he hates the hood, it turns out. It's ironic. Don't you think? Let's listen to David Duke. Not hot. Daisy Dukes talking about Donald Trump in hot pants.

The reason there's a war on Donald Trump is because there's a war on the real America. There's a war on the European American majority of the United States of America. What the fuck is the European majority? Is he talking about white people? Yeah. He is saying exactly that. I know, but why don't you say white people, dude? Because he doesn't want to say that, right?

Because now you coach that shit. You don't need to cloak your language like you cloak your head, dude. But it's so funny because these are the same guys that rail against political correctness, and yet they change their language so they seem less racist. Yeah, just start dropping the N-word and be like, yeah the whites are awesome and i hate n-words you know the media has been the ones that's in they've been the ones inciting hatred and violence they they have portrayed donald trump as a vicious racist who basically you know wants to create a hitlerian regime that's what they present larian hitlerian hitlerian that kind of sounds like hilarious it's not hilarious it's the least hilarious regime

admittedly the way they walk is hilarious the jackboot walk? yeah that's fucking amazing I wouldn't tell it to him which is of course the biggest boogie man and the most hateful thing these days you can say about somebody these days oh these crazy days

you can't even compare somebody to Hitler anymore without being branded Hitlerian nobody loves Hitler anymore without being branded Hitlerian. Ma-ha! These days, nobody loves Hitler anymore. What is it, 1949? There's millions of movies, programs, speeches invoking. That is like evoking the great Satan in our society.

And that's what they invoke of Donald Trump. And whatever you want to say about Donald Trump, there's no's no there's no way you can say any of this stuff. It's crazy. But they say this. Right. What the fuck did you just. That was talking about. No, that was just garbage.

This is how you become the leader of a group like the KKK. Right. You just all you need is a fucking eighty nine IQ. Right. Because you're leading a bunch of seventy four IQs. Right. It's like I got a fifty four on that test. All you're trying to do is get IQs, right? It's like, I got a 54 on that test. All you're trying to do is get the chimps excited.

That's it. That's easy. So, but what's going on? And the truth is, by the way, they might be rehabilitating. Rehabilitating? Rehabilitating. Is rehabilitating a word? That's not a word.

Nope. Rehabilitating. We're just going to skip the central, like the middle syllable entirely. Rehabilitating. They're going to rehabilitate it. We're going to rehabilitate. We rehabilitate it. That fellow with the mustache back there in Germany, because I saw a commercial against Donald Trump, really vicious commercial and comparing what Donald Trump said about preserving America and making America great again to Hitler in Germany, are great again to Hitler and Germany, preserving Germany, making Germany great again and free again and not beholden to these communists on one side politically who are trying to destroy their land and their freedom and the Jewish capitalists on the other who are ripping

off the nation through their banking system. We have the same thing going on here with Goldman Sachs. What? He is clearly a Hitler apologist. Yeah, no. This is a guy who doesn't like Jews. I mean, he just clearly said it, right? And he is clearly a Hitler apologist.

The Jews are ripping off the people. Right. And he's basically saying like, well, you know, in Germany, they were kind of right to be talking about this because they were getting fucked over on one side and fucked over again on the other. So what you need to do is cleanse the world of six million people because that's how you solve these problems, Tom. You know what? I don't know why I didn't think about it that way. I guess it's because I'm not an inhuman monster. Take your

Zyklon B. And it was a commercial. I saw that this morning and I was amazed by that commercial. It was a commercial against Trump, but I don't think it's having the effect that they want it to have. Not on you because you like Hitler. I know so you're like fucking hitler rules bro it's like well here's a good thing guys our commercial pulled really well with david duke with the pro hitler demographic downside is that's a really small demographic of

hate-filled bigots. I will say that the Hitler people, though, they're always ready for a high-five. They're constantly ready for it. Look at the elbow, you never miss. So this war that's going on against Donald Trump is really a war going on against America. It's a war

going on against the European-American majority. The media has incited hatred and a war going on against america it's a war going on against the european american majority the media has incited hatred and violence and repression of donald trump repression of donald trump the media has not given donald trump enough air time right yeah that doesn't happen like he's not on every single debate he's not getting interviewed like every 30 seconds by someone he controls the debate by saying i'm not going to show up then they cancel the debate if he's not getting interviewed like every 30 seconds by someone. He controls the debate by saying, I'm not going to show up. Then they cancel the debate if he's not going to go. Yeah.

This guy has no fun. It's constantly. And the tens of thousands, hundreds of millions of people who support him. And that's what happened in Chicago. You know, if you love your country and if you love or at least what your country is supposed to represent, what originally represented, because I don't know if we can love everything our government. We certainly can't love everything our government, our country is doing today because the leaders of this country, the people who have control of this country are purposefully wiping. If you're a European person, the government's purposely wiping you out and your families. What are they wiping us out? How are they? I'm a fucking according to this fucking numb nuts right i'm a european person

whatever that means right i'm a mutt i'm a fucking mutt man mutts i'm a mutt i have like seven different nationalities in me you know what if we have any fucking sense in us we're all just gonna fuck ourselves mocha right yeah exactly what's gonna happen yeah right so we could cut all this nonsense out but nonetheless i'm as fucking i'm as pale as they come from a from a perspective of is that guy white i'm fucking floating caspers absolutely yeah fucking my family came over my dad for whatever reason trace that shit back so they came over the 1700s am i european i don't even know what that means. What does that even mean? When do I stop being European? I've never been to Europe.

Why am I European? 200 and change years? I mean, I'm still closer to European than you are because I fucking like at least my grandparents all came over here from the like the other lands. Right. So all my none of my grandparents were born here. All this shit is garbage. It's just meaningless, hateful, racist garbage. Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP,

clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness Monster, and the theory of Atlantis? If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. So this is from Right Wing Watch. This is part of their Paranoia Rama Donald Trump edition. This is Donald, I'm sorry, this is Alex Jones,

who never fails to disappoint. You are under attack, and the illusion is you can join different parts of this system and be a winner. It is a metric scientific mathematical algorithm of tyranny.

It is a metric scientific algorithm of tyranny? I gotta save that. That's a great clip. That is a fucking spectacular clip. There's like Professor Frank back there. Like, with the algorithms and the rays. It needs to be metric.

That's how you get the tyranny. That is extremely sophisticated. That can even predict the future. Oh, my fucking God. What? This guy. What? This is.

This is. Okay. Him and Glenn Beck are both absolutely fucking crazy and they have platforms like this guy is clearly insane it gets worse from here predict the future oh it gets worse all right now i told you that 18 years ago that's been mainstream news for two years now where's that mainstream news what the what what did you even off? And then secondly, it's been mainstream news? We can predict the future. We don't need to worry about any of these questions.

They're answered. Yeah. I don't even know. What are we talking about? He's got a fucking magic eight ball underneath his desk. Yeah, right? Outlook, not so good. We know what we're talking about.

We told you not having gut flora is the number one cause of cancer. Now the federal government comes out with all the top research facilities and says, yes, it's true. Gut flora? Flora. And that's not a cause of cancer. They're talking about that leaky gut or whatever, like you said, right? That leaky gut. But they're talking about it as if we need to explore it more not

oh that's the fucking catch-all for everybody the leading cause of cancer is age yeah that is that is legitimately the leading cause of cancer societies continue to age as our bodies age our cell division becomes less good at it yeah then cancer that's the leading cause tag your cancer i've known all along they're targeting the gut they're targeting the gut they targeted your gut jesus gut these idiots believe in the gut too like not the stomach and the fucking you know the intestines the upper and lower intestines they're just like that's in our gut yeah it's down there in the guts regions you know hey did you check his gut see if he's got any stuff in there in a gut area

alex jones has targeted his gut with some fucking number fours at mcdonald's right i'll tell you what he didn't fucking target it with some fucking crunches or a suzanne summers tape or whatever it is a very small a few thousand people are in on the whole deal. Okay? A few thousand people. It's a conspiracy of several thousand. Yeah, a conspiracy of several thousand people. Nobody on their deathbed has confessed to it. It's a conspiracy of 7,000 people that you're talking about on the radio. It is the worst conspiracy ever.

This guy is such a booboo. He's a jackass. And through compartmentalization, they're rolling it out. And so it doesn't help us if, let's say, all two million police in the country got shot in the back of the head. There would just be anarchy and all sorts of problems, and they just bring in foreign troops. Where would we get them? Wait a minute. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

Hold on. So do we? Okay. Hold on. First off, you don't need foreign troops. We have a National Guard, right? So if all the police died, they would just have National Guard because they're all over the place.

And then if we ran out of them, we have then the actual army and the Marines and the Navy and the Air Force. We got plenty of other people. Are they all getting shot simultaneously? Who's doing the shooting? That's a fucking coordinated attack. Like fucking that is worthy of like fucking Walter White. This is a flash mob.

That's almost impossible to put together. It's fucking improv. Everywhere is fucking wet dream. Everywhere. Everybody's shooting everybody without pants on. They do like a little pirouette first like a spin like before you talk about killing people you better talk about educating them yeah because this has worked this is fucking you've done a bang up job so far there alex and if you come over all creepy you come over all angry you come over all weird they're

not gonna listen but if you come over with light, or you come over all angry, or you come over all weird, they're not going to listen. But if you come over with light in your eyes and say, listen, there's a globalist takeover. Here's the plan. People listen. They know the truth. Fucking, you're all three. I can't imagine anybody creepier and angrier and weirder than Alex Jones. Alex Jones is like, look, I'll tell you what doesn't work.

Be an Alex Jones. Like, someone could, like, fuck it, like, there could be a 80-year-old guy actively rapinging a kid and he's less creepy, fucking scary and weirder, like less weird. You're like, I'd still invite you to dinner over Alex Jones. He could be anger raping the kid and still be less angry. I don't want to be friends with you anymore. So all I'm saying is I'm trying to save humanity.

I'm trying to have a future for my kids. The globalists are building a world in their own words. Anybody listen to me when I said that? It's a globalist takeover. There's a globalist takeover. What does that even mean, though? What does that mean? It's a globalist.

Is a globe taking over? Fucking is Kool-Aid man taking over? Oh, yeah. Where normal human life is over. It's a total revolution against the planet itself. It's an elite playing God. And I've done my research, and

even ten years ago, I wasn't like this. I talk about it, I get chills, folks. What the fuck are you talking about? What fucking globalist fucking, all that fucking whole sentence needs to be picked apart. The globalists are taking over the world. Fucking, okay, a bunch of people who. The globalists are taking over the world. Fucking okay, a bunch of people who really like globes are taking over the world.

Man, I'm fucking super excited about globes, man. Woo! I love some globes. Okay, globalists taking over. Fuck you, flat mappers. Oh, God. And then what? Well, then they're going to fight the Earth because it says that it's a total revolution against the planet Earth.

Where do they live? They're just like, fuck you, the Earth. We're moon people. What the fuck? I'm like, okay, so the globalists take over. If they're against the whole Earth, they're going to lose. I don't understand. Why would they take over the Earth if they don't even like it i don't even like this place it'd

be like showing up and taking over aldi you're just like because like at the end of it you're like yes i win i have aldi it's the devil okay here we go we go. It's the devil. Here we go. Okay. All aboard! Okay, here we go. Fuck it. It's the devil. It's the devil Al Pacino. And the churches aren't going to tell you. It is an alien force, not of this world.

Whoa. We're aliens. Hold on. We're aliens. Every, every time. No, no. He said an alien force, but I think he means like a demonic force. I think he's just, because he's a crazy person, he just substitutes the words.

Are you serious? I seriously – I don't think he's seriously talking about aliens. I don't think he's talking about aliens. Okay. Maybe. Oh, Jesus. If he's talking about aliens. He might be talking about aliens. Oh, my God.

I don't know. That's crazier than demons. I guess that's true. I actually am not sure which is – like demons jumping and it's like, ah, demons. I guess you're right. Yeah, that's no crazier. It's like Mars attacks. Yeah, it's true. Like demons. I guess you're right. Yeah, that's no crazier. Yeah, it's just crazier. Attacking humanity like the Bible and every other ancient text says. And you can read the Bible.

It's hiding in plain view, folks. It's not of this world. I don't know exactly what it is or what it's doing, but this is not human intelligence. Okay. Well, I would agree with you there. You are not humanly intelligent. i would agree with you there you are not humanly intelligent this guy is fucking amazeballs i can't i'm crying this guy is amazing this i i cannot there it is guys yep yep fucking there it is aliens fucking what a crazy person i'm crying

we have to do another minute of this oh jesus Jesus. Are you kidding? Yeah, there's a whole more minute. It's not human intelligence! One more time! One more time! Okay, you got it. You got it. You know what? You should come over and just see him flip. I got it.

You got to see him flip, dude. This is fucking outstanding. I'm going to lose my shit. Oh, Jesus, it's fucking amazing. Alright, we gotta share a mic here. We're gonna share a mic. Here we go, Tom. Oh my god, alright. I gotta make it big, I think. We're gonna make it big.

You're not that close. Alright, there we go. But this is not human intelligence, okay? It's not human intelligence! Look, he looks so, so mad. He's so mad. You mad, bro? Hold on.

Hold on. There's one more of us. Okay. We got one more. I'm here. Human intelligence, okay? It's not human intelligence! I'm so mad!

This could be the best thing we've ever seen! He just fucking lost his fucking mind. Okay, so do yourself a favor. Oh, God. And go to our website and fucking view this. This is about two minutes in. Actually, I would say it around... You want to our website and fucking view this. This is it about two minutes in. Actually, I would say it around. You want to try to be like around 156.

I'm a wreck. You want to be at around 156 and start this and watch him flip his shit because it's fucking outstanding. He's so mad. He's like he bounces. He absolutely bounces like he's like a petulant little kid. Like he's not going to McDonald's and he's super mad about bounces. He absolutely bounces. Like he's like a petulant little kid. Like he's not going to McDonald's and he's super mad about it. This is amazing. This is the best thing we've ever seen.

All right. There's more. There's more. There's more. I don't know that I have it. There's more. Let's listen to this one more time. Dude, I'm serious.

My fucking face is falling off. Exactly what it is or what it's doing. But this is not human intelligence. Okay. It's not human intelligence. We're facing. I refuse to fight with everybody. All the stupid racist white people,

the stupid racist black people, all the stupid racist Mexicans, all of you. I can't stand you. You're idiots. We're under attack. Everybody's under attack. By aliens. Jesus, calm the fuck down, man. Drink your milk and go lay down for a little while. It's under attack. By aliens. Jesus, calm the fuck down, man. Drink your milk and go lay down for a little while. He's like the only one

who watched Independence Day as a documentary, right? The elite hate Trump, let me tell you. If he is a psyop, he's the most sophisticated one I ever saw. And even if he is, he's a revelation of the awakening, and they're having to pull this trick to try to divert us. What? I don't know what

a psyop is. don't seriously have a psychological operations what the what yeah it's like it's like it's like if you're in the military like i thought it was a fucking superhero on the x-men fucking no idea is he the guy with the fucking eyes that can shoot people that's psyop right fucking a psyop that's amazing does it matter it's part of the awakening humanity has got to get off world yeah he's talking about aliens bro yeah yep yep we got a fucking piece out of this bitch i'm gonna pass out oh god oh god oh god i going to pass out. My fucking room is going black. Holy shit. Are you kidding me?

That's because you're about to be beamed out of the mothership. Good fucking Lord. Oh, this guy's fucking the best thing I've ever heard. He's amazing. We need access to the life extension technologies. Talk about discrimination. Forget skin color. I want the advanced life extension.

You're going to need it, dude, because you're clearly having a heart attack right now he's fucking nuts oh my god there is a there is fucking like here's the thing there's glenn beck crazy which is fucking crazy right like there's like levels right yeah sure sure but when you go full alex joe my god dude how is he able to walk around in society? How could he buy milk? Okay, I used to listen to this guy, that Coast to Coast A&M guy. I don't remember the guy's name. He was this old guy. He had a great voice.

He had a great radio voice. He was a great radio voice. He was on all night. I used to listen when I used to drive home late at night and listen to fucking about crop circles and all that stuff. I don't even think he believed that shit as much as this guy did. And that guy was fucking wide open. He'd get talked to like, yeah, I'm on the line with a guy who says he's an angel. And then you have a fucking 20-minute conversation with some wacko dude who's like,

I'm an angel. I've got the wings. I fly around and I bless people. And you're just like, fucking that guy's crazy as shit. And this guy would be like, oh, yeah. Tell me about how you're an angel. That was an amazing show because he would always – he would never call people. People would call him and be like, well, I'm a time traveler from the distant future.

I'm also from the planet 1, 2, 3, 7 up and Sprite. And he would be like, and I also have elephant feet. And then he would just be like, tell me more about these elephants. Never, never did he call. If Alex Jones called, he would hang up on him. He would fucking hang up the phone. He'd be like, nope, nope, nope, nope.

This guy believes it all. He fucking believes it all, man. He's talking about aliens and life extensions. He's fucking indiscriminate with his belief. He fucking shoots his belief around like a fucking ejaculating cock. I want to go to space.

I want to see interdimensional travel. I want what God promised us and I won't sit here and watch Satan steal it. That's the greatest thing. We need to stop recording the show. The show's cancelled. That's the fight. That's the key thing we need to stop recording the show no it's canceled that's the fight that's the key that's everything that's the greatest thing in the entire world this could be the best clip we've ever listened to i think what we need to do is every show we just listen to this clip

because this clip is everything that's wrong with the world wow people listen to alex jones there's people like oh yeah he's fucking fired up about those aliens the interdimensional travel and how the bible says that that's our fucking promised land and we need to get off planet earth because the demons are coming in the form of aliens to what are you talking about that guy's amazing i love him so much can we write can we write letters to him saying never die never ever, ever die. Well, no, he needs a life extension technology. If he gets that, then he won't ever die, Tom. And he'll be taken off world and do the interdimensional travel.

I love him. Yeah. I fucking love him. Actually, I think he's chubby enough to get stuck in a black hole. I plugged it up. We didn't actually think that was a thing. Hole was actually a metaphor. Huh.

Still. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This is fucking amazing. This is also from right wing watch. Glenn Beck, the constitution comes and all of a sudden we have microwave ovens. So what else? What else can you even say? I don't know. Let's listen to what Glenn has to say. Right. Stu, you just told me that you believe those rights come from God. You believe that's a sacred document.

You believe that that document and those rights were not given to you for you to do with. Those rights were given and you were put in the guardianship of those rights. Correct? given and you were put in the guardianship of those rights correct your job is to protect them for future generations because you don't know what god's going to do with the rights just like george washington didn't have any idea that electricity would come and television would come and and we'd walk on the moon and we would free germany and we would save the Jews in Europe. Well, not all of them. We were a little late on that one. They tagged us in a little late on that one.

Hey, guys, we're going to save you. Except for the first six million of you. We didn't get around to that. It's like saving that batch of cookies out of the oven. Sometimes you just can't do it. It's it. You're trying to scrape the brown off the bottom. It just won't.

It just won't. Sorry, this toast is just going to go. There's no. You're trying to scrape the brown off the bottom. No, it just won't. It just won't. Sorry, this toast is just going to go. There's no amount of milk that's going to make that palatable. And all of these things that our country would restore and would be the leader of putting Israel back

on the map. He had no idea those things were coming because he wasn't fucking prescient. And it doesn't matter if they were coming or not. They didn't write a document that had anything to do with regulation of space travel. I know, right? His argument here is that George

Washington wasn't prescient? I think his argument is fucking way weirder. So listen to where he goes with this. But it's because of that document God allowed those things to happen. For 5,000 years, we had a fireplace. We had a fire pit. The Constitution comes.

All of a sudden, we have microwave ovens. Yes, that is the chain of events. That's exactly how that is. Somebody's like, we the people, and then there was a microwave. And then it sat there for fucking 200 years until somebody had a place to plug it in. Somebody had electricity at the time. I love the fucking order of operations. It's just like, huh?

Yeah, microwaves. No, fucking there's a lot that leads up to that, you assholes. The Constitution didn't make us have microwaves. What are you kidding me? What are you kidding me? Somebody's like, oh, man, if I didn't have freedom, microwaves. What? Fucking Franklin's cooking a cup of noodles.

I really like these. I still haven't. I share these with my mistress. We still haven't figured out the germ theory of disease. But we have microwaves. And we can't even plug them into lighting bolts because we don't have electricity it's just like everybody gets a microwave a kite a key and a string that's it my way gets one use and then it explodes nobody thought of that leonardo da vinci

couldn't figure out that the top of the wing needed to bend. Instead, he just kept making everything perfectly flat. What a dick. I can't believe that nobody figured out everything all at once. Nobody figured out the Bernoulli effect. Right? Fucking, you idiots. Fucking ancient fucking fuckwads that you were. Oh, look at me.

I drew a guy. Who gives a shit, Leonardo? Get back in your fucking mud hut, Leonardo. Go fucking paint me something. Paint me a tiny little woman that looks like you. He's blaming them for not inventing fast enough. No, because they didn't have the Constitution. The Constitution is what made it all possible.

So like when they did invent stuff. It's the fucking grease in our wheels of our invention. That's what it is. So like prior to the Constitution, there were no inventions. Everybody was still like, who can? Yeah, no. They couldn't even write the Constitution. They had invented paper.

Yeah, they just had fireplaces. That was the only thing he said that they had was fireplaces. So they had to take a fucking dyed out stick from the fire and then had to scrawl something out with that. They wrote it in the fucking sand. They painted it in their caves. That's where they did it. But after the Constitution, after men are set free, after we start dedicating ourselves to God. Well, we didn't set free the black people.

We're not the first people to dedicate ourselves to God either, dude. It's like, well, once men are set free, it's like, actually, we had to have a civil war to get the rest of us free. All the black dudes are just like, I wasn't part of that program. They need to put a whole new

amendment in there called you're not three-fifths of a human anymore. All of a sudden, we can just figure out that little curve will give us lift to lift the airplanes? Wow, that seems pretty simple, doesn't it? No, it seems incredibly complicated and not intuitive at all. It's terribly complicated because you need to make model after model after model in order to figure it out. There's a fucking, there's like a nearly unlimited number of options to shape a wing line. Why the fuck didn't George Washington fly over the fucking Delaware then?

The fuck, he had to fucking row his bitch ass over there with his wooden ass teeth. The fuck? Fuck you, man. You didn't fucking think of that shit fucking right after we wrote the Constitution? It was a fucking hundred years later. fucking right after we wrote the constitution it was a fucking 100 years later some fucking asshole with a bicycle and a fucking bernoulli wing had to figure that shit out the fuck man was a one guy like fucking oh i just john hancock just signed it and now he has a jetpack it's so crazy it's so crazy it's so crazy the constitution and they're like but even if you

bought this like god was just waiting six thousand years it's just like letting people die in fucking poverty and misery and give them the jet pack it's like gonna be christmas when they make that constitution oh man it's it's like you didn't do your chores you don't get to like get the fucking dessert this guy's the stupidest human on the planet Him and fucking Alex Jones need to go to a black hole And just get sucked into it Go away I love this so much

This is great Especially for a guy like Leonardo da Vinci Or Leonardo DiCaprio I don't know Why did he invent it? Why did everybody invent it? It's fucking easy for me Fucking in hindsight

I can invent anything in hindsight That's fucking simple it's the freedom that we have had and the discipline that we've had and the stability of this country that has allowed us to dream and create it's fucking stability of this country we've been around for a fucking couple hundred years man it's not fucking it's not like oh my gosh no country's ever been around for this long right it's the stability of our country that that in the 200 years that we've been around here we've been wracked by a civil war revolutionary war two world wars the korean war the vietnam war we can't stop getting in wars we're constantly at war with something it's fucking oceania all day right and then like we had to have fucking the civil rights movement we had to have a fucking uh women's suffrage movement we had to fight like

we're just it's the stability of our country it's like tell that to me in fucking detroit during the race riots like oh fucking stability bitch call me from ferguson what a great point too where you're just like oh yeah fucking uh you know who fucking took us to the get to constitution till we fucking figured out motor oil or where the fuck he's gonna worry about but the fact is like fucking we still didn't figure out slavery we didn't figure out suffrage we didn't figure out a bunch of shit that was super important to fucking human beings being free right and he's like fucking oh it's our fucking freedom the fucking freedom is the free shit that fucking makes shit free fucking you're an idiot. Right.

It's like, and he's harping on the technology part, but the easiest thing to do is to look around, fucking take the cock of freedom out of your mouth, look around and see all the people that aren't free. Yeah. Right. Look around. Like the fucking ink the constitution. Like, what about bitches and black dudes?

Like, nope, not free. Anyway. Yeah. Give me that golden eagle cock. I'm free. Anyway. Yeah. Give me that golden eagle cock.

So that's going to wrap it up for this episode that we previously recorded because we previously recorded every episode. Go ahead. No, go ahead. Fucking say it again, Tom. Every episode is an episode. Yeah. Previously. No kidding.

There's never been an episode. We haven't yet recorded that. They are now listening. We're going to leave you with Tom's shitty poem. Fucker. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized

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