Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 29: Amateur Paleontology

Episode Date: January 9, 2012

Notes for week 1/ 07/ 12 Santorum’s wife’s abortion was different, you see, Santorum wants to impose 'Judeo-Christian Sharia', Santorum: No One Has Ever Died Because They Didn’t Have Health Care, Santorum Joins Bachmann, Pledges to Ban Porn, Same-Sex Marriages, Surging Santorum Would Annul All Same-Sex Marriages, Santorum singles out Blacks for entitlement reform, Gingrich defends food stamp comment, And God Said to Pat Robertson…, North Carolina Public School That Offered Bibles to Kids Refuses to Accept Pagan Books, Federal Government Wastes $666,000 To Study the Effectiveness of Praying Away AIDS, Obama Signs Defense Authorization Bill, 15-Year-Old Boy Murdered For “Being a Witch” , ACLU Demands W. Virginia County Stop Funding Annual ‘Jesus Fest’ Event, NEWT SAYS THERE’S INSUFFICIENT EVIDENCE FOR CLIMATE CHANGE, CITING HIS EXPERTISE AS ‘AN AMATEUR PALEONTOLOGIST’ Visit our website: http://dissonancepod.com for all the stories and links.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Congresswoman from Minnesota, Michelle Bachman. I am announcing today that I am resigning from the presidential race. As Republicans, we need to rally around our leaders, no matter who bought and paid for them. need to rally around our leaders, no matter who bought and paid for them. Whether it's a stalwart heterosexual philanderer like Newt Gingrich, or a person of deep faith like Governor Perry, we need to gather our forces to protect our country from Obamacare and the nightmare of socialized medicine. I encourage all Americans to stop and really think of where we'd be if we prayed to end all our problems instead of spending money on them. Together, we can stamp out our budget problems like a Texas wildfire. Marcus told me yesterday that I should throw in the towel and hopefully Newt will use it to wipe away Santor.

to wipe away Santor. Personally, I am throwing the support of both of my remaining followers behind Rick Perry, who is as anti-gay as my gay husband. We need to use that bond of bigotry to bring us together. I am going to keep following God's plan, and obviously God wanted me to fail miserably in the primary, so I can't wait for my husband to tell me what God has in store next. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode, we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat.

Cecil, we're about seven, eight days into 2012. I've noticed the earth has not blown up. I've taken that as a good sign so far. Not so much for our listeners since you now have to put up with episode 29 here. Right, right. Yeah, it's not good for them, but it's fine for us. I had no problems. There was no meteors crashing into the Chicago sidewalks as I was walking here today.

I was fine. And you're an amateur meteorologist. Yeah, I would know a meteor if I saw one because I'm an amateur meteorologist. Right, yeah. I'm also an amateur traffic cop too. We've got a host of totally bizarre stories. We're definitely going to have some more political stories in this one than we have – more so than we've had in the past. But when the Santorum is sliding around, you just – you can't ignore it.

Right, yeah. I mean there's just been this amazing amount of Santorum. It just keeps leaking out. Well, he did surge from behind. Yeah, all from the past week. He came out. Well, he did surge from behind. Yeah, all from the past week. He came from – yeah, definitely surged from behind. And he sort of coated Iowa, like, you know, in this sort of, you know, smooth, slick, foul-smelling substance.

A lot of people would say he came out of nowhere. Every time I see it, I just think of like – you remember that stuff that they – I don't even know that they even still make it. But it was like a fat-free substance that they used to put on stuff called like Olene. Olestra. Olestra and Olene. And it gave you what they called anal leakage. Yes, I remember. Every time I think about Santorum, I'm just like, oh, that guy's got anal leakage.

I'm like, that dude is fucking like he's got to be wearing the pants because this stuff is just flowing out his behind. It's obviously flowing out his mouth too. We have two, four, six, six fucking stories in a row about this fucking gigantic douchebag. I was watching Colbert the other day and he said, hey, you know, now that he's finally doing better in the polls, he solved his little Google problem. And like a screenshot of Google pops up. He's like, now when you Google Santorum, Rick Santorum is finally the first thing that pops up. the first thing that pops up. And the definition, you know,

of a frothy mix of fecal matter and lube, sometimes the byproduct of anal sex, is number two. Wipe hands, problem solved, bitches. No kidding, right? Do you believe that there should be any legal exceptions for rape or incest when it comes to abortion? I believe that life begins at conception

and that that life should be should be guaranteed under the Constitution. That is a person. So even in a case of rape or incest, that would be taking a life that would be taking a life. And I believe that that any doctor who performs an abortion that I would advocate that any doctor that performs an abortion should be criminally charged for doing so. I don't I've never supported criminalization of abortion from others, but I do for people who perform it. You know, Santorum is one of these aggressively pro-life conservatives. And, you know, I'll say like, I can understand that stance. It's not the stance that I have, but I can understand that stance. What's baffling to me are the people who are pro-life. I mean, a stance I can't even get to intellectually is are those people that are pro-life, even in cases where, you know, there's rape or incest or the mother is, you know, physically in dire straits and there's a medical necessity.

in dire straits and there's a medical necessity. I can't even understand the angle to approach that position anymore when you get there. And Santorum has said that, you know, he does not support abortion, even in cases where the mother's life may be in danger. Yeah. He said that a couple of times. That's sort of his stance on this sort of thing. And I don't understand it either, Tom. Like you, it's a fucking bridge I cannot cross. I think to myself, you know, first the horror of being raped or, you know, being the victim of incest is, you know, that's out of a fucking nightmare movie. You know what I mean? Like that's just horrifying to even consider.

Like that's just horrifying to even consider. And then to be forced to bring that child to term, you know, we as the government should be trying to help the people who are victims of incest and victims of rape, not fucking forcing them to come to term with a child that's going to remind them of that fucking moment for the rest of their life. But beyond that, he has his wife had a problem with a pregnancy. Now, she didn't. I've been reading about this. I did a little research on this. I made sure to sort of check up on this. It seems like she didn't get an abortion, that she had a miscarriage, but they were, they were considering it at one point. At least that's what he says. Karen Santorum, and this is a quote from her. She says, if the physician came to me and said, if we don't deliver your baby in

one hour, you will be dead, then yeah, I would have to do it. But for me, it was at the very end. I would never make a decision like that until all other means had been thoroughly exhausted. So it's just different for her. It's just different for her. She's saying like, hey, if my life was in danger, yeah, I would do this. But I would make sure all other avenues had been – well, what kind of a horrifyingly arrogant and out of touch position is this that she's saying, well, for me, it's different? For me, I would make sure that I had – as if to imply that you know, like this is the first route they go. Well, first option. Fuck it.

We're going to talk about this in a little bit. But this is the guy who specifically has come out recently and said that he doesn't agree with small government. He doesn't agree with it. He doesn't think that that's the way to go. This guy at least is the most honest of the Republicans that are running because he's actually coming out and saying, I don't agree with small government. All the rest of them, they're fucking, they're saying one thing, but they're doing something else. At least he's honest about saying, I don't think there should be small government. I think the government should be in your bedroom. I think the government should be in your fucking,

in your womb. You know, this is, this guy's a fucking nightmare. He is a nightmare. And you know, is this guy's a fucking nightmare he is a nightmare and you know we've been talking about this for a long time is that you know as it stands the current gop is not a small government gop it's not it's not the it's not barry goldwater conservatism this is big what i would like to call big conservatism you know it's big big government in foreign policy it's huge massive giant government in foreign policy and it, it's big, big government and foreign policy. It's huge, massive, giant government and foreign policy. And it's the social morality police conservative party, you know, where they decide in a very strict and very backward sort of way what the country's moral position on a variety of topics are, and they're more than willing to use the power of the government to enforce their idealized version of hyper moral America.

Yep. And that's not small governments. That's as big as government can get. When government gets involved in what my dick does. Yeah. That's some big ass goddamn government. That's fucking huge. I mean, and you know, don't get me wrong.

Like, if your dick was, you know, following the way of some of the priests out there and, like, fucking brutalizing young boys or girls, I would say the government has every right to stop you from doing that. But when it's consensual adults, it's none of your fucking business, man. Right? That's like telling me what kind of fucking coffee I'm supposed to drink. Yeah. Well, you know, Sumatran is immoral. You know, just. Didn't they write a book about that?

Isn't that a sex book? The Sumatra? Kama Sumatran. I got 101 ways to make love to your coffee. Oh my God. It's so hot every time. Hot coffee sex. You need a lot of burn cream. That's all I that's all you put the cream in at the end as it turns out now unlike islam where the higher law and the civil

law are the same in our case we have civil laws but our civil laws have to comport with the higher law but you know like this is another this is another example, though, Tom, there's a there was a CNN opinion article and the person, you know, using a little bit of hyperbole here in the title, but not so much that it's unbelievable. Santorum wants to impose Judeo-Christian Sharia. And I'll tell you what, that's a fucking accurate way to describe what he wants to do. Yeah, it absolutely is, Cecil. You look at these guys and, you know, to a man, all of them, or a woman, all of them

are so reactionary against this Sharia, Sharia being, you know, Islamic law. And yet at the same time, you hear them constantly referring to their holy book when discussing legislative issues. Yeah. Or they talk about God's law. Right. And Santorum makes several comments about how our nation's laws have to be in keeping with God's laws. Well, that's a terrible. I mean, how is that not the same thing? He's going to put a ton of red lobsters out of business. That's all I'm saying.

They're not going to be able to. You think you're going to have fun time going to fucking get some scallops and some fucking lobster. You're not going to enjoy that shit anymore. He's not going to get to vote in Maine, I'll tell you that much. Okay. The bib manufacturers are going to be like vote in Maine, I'll tell you that much. Fucking A. The bib manufacturers are going to be like, aw, stupid Leviticus.

I can't have the little lobster looking up at you with the claws. Right, like, I am where you put the pieces of my brothers. I'm happy that you're feasting on me.

I love, as an aside, I love any image that shows a happy animal that you have slaughtered and are about to eat. That makes me feel good about eating meat. That shit's fantastic. He's like, he didn't mind.

Yeah, I didn't care at all. He thought that was great. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's so obvious to see what's wrong with this. Whether you're a Christian or not, you should be able to see so easily what's wrong with this. All you have to do is just take a considered look at your own religion and say, okay, well, we can at least all agree that all Christians don't agree, right? That's not a controversial position. You should at least be able to say, okay, well, there is not unity of

purpose. There's not unity of theology amongst all Christians of all sects. So given that that's the case, how the hell are you going to govern based on your holy book if not all interpreters of that holy book arrive at the same conclusion. What this leads me to immediately think is, if you're really going to do that, when you put a commander in chief in place, you're really also saying, I trust you to be the final arbiter of disputes within our religion, because you're going to make civil law in keeping with religious law. you then are the final arbiter for religious law. I mean, we're like fucking electing this dude Pope of America. He's going to have to have we're going to have to have a new president hat.

I mean, we're just going to have to have a hat that the president wears. And I think a scepter, too. You got to give him a scepter. Should we should we send the smoke signal up the chimney of the White House when he's anointed or whatever? He finally gets elected. It's gray smoke. Santorum is elected. He's burning the Santorum.

That's a terrible incense, by the way. I just want to let you know it does not – it's not like patchouli at all. Right. You're like patchouli, sandalwood, teak, Santorum. Santorum? It's so oily. During his continued assault on the poor, he was speaking to a bunch of students at an Iowa Christian college. And somebody stood up and basically said, hey, you know, what about you basically basically gave him the like what would Jesus do argument regarding health care.

He's like, hey, people die from not having health care all the time. So don't we have a Christian responsibility? And this is exactly from our last point. Christian stands up. Don't I have a Christian responsibility to provide health care? And Santorum's response, no, no, not really. Nobody ever dies from not having healthcare. No one has ever died, Tom,

because they were poor. I don't know if you knew this. That's shocking. Nobody has ever died ever because they were poor. According to Santorum. It's because they didn't take the opportunity to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and go get healthcare. Because it's available to all Americans.

All you have to do is just make enough money to get it. It's I don't know why they don't understand that. Just know that here's here's a solution. Poor people make more money like it's a real easy solution. I just figured out your problem. Just make more money. Poor people. And then you won't be poor.

Problem fucking solved. Jesus. Why don't they elect me, Tom? There's so many reasons. That's a different show and a longer show. Admittedly, that's a different show. This is a direct quote from Santorum. People die in America because people die in America.

I know. Fuck you. And people make poor decisions with respect to their health and their health care and they don't go to the emergency room or they don't go to the doctor when they need to he said because they don't and it's not the fault of the government for not providing some sort of universal benefit fuck you really people don't people die because they don't go to the emergency. First of all, the emergency room argument is such a fucking fallacious argument. It bears repeating that we've talked about this before. The freaking emergency room is not health care.

The fact that you can show up in an emergency room and that they are forced by law to treat you does not constitute health care. Right. The emergency room is there to provide emergency fucking services they don't provide ongoing continuous care so if you're diabetic and you're in fucking diabetic coma or you're in diabetic shock you can go to the emergency room if somebody hits the fucking life alert button and drags your ass there but you're not going to to show up to the emergency room and be like, hey, you know, I'm out of insulin, so I'm here for my monthly refill of insulin. So that's not fucking health care.

Health care is an ongoing concern. Health care is the ability to get things looked at before they become a fucking emergency. Emergency care is also, by its very nature and definition, more fucking expensive than preventative care and regular maintenance care. So this is that is a fucking that is a fucking retarded thing to say. That is a genuinely stupid person's thing to say. And anybody who attempts to make the emergency room argument should be dismissed out of hand and ridiculed like a child. Well, another thing that this completely misses the point, right? Let's just say I'm not destitute living out on the street homeless,

right? Let's say I'm a very low income person who's getting scraping by. If I go to the emergency room and I have, you know, a little bit of money, but I don't have a ton of money and I can't afford the bill, they will find a way to get that money out of me. They will, you know, it's, it's a debt that I have to pay to the hospital because I don't have insurance. And I go there and they're going to, they're going to send me a fucking, you know, a $50,000 bill. If it's a fucking horrifyingly bad thing that goes wrong. Because the only reason I'm ever going to go there is because something horrifying happened.

Right. I got cancer. I fucking, my arm fell off or whatever the fuck happened. So if I show up there, now I've got to pay this bill back to them forever. Oh, sure. And they'll send you to collections. Sure. The judgment's against you. Garnish your wages.

Yeah. So basically what we're saying is, oh, it's okay because they get free medical care. Well, it's not fucking free. No. It ain't free, motherfucker. How would you like it, Santorum? Some asshole fucking called you every third day. Where's my money, bitch?

Where's my money? Sure. And they've got recourse beyond that because they'll send you to the collections. If that doesn't work, they'll take you to court and put a judgment against you, and they can garnish your fucking wages. So now the fucking pittance that you make is now reduced. Right. What the fuck happened to Christian compassion? You're pick-and-choose fucking religion.

Gays are bad, but we shouldn't be compassionate? Right. And that's the thing. This guy's just decided. And then he also refutes the study. There's a 2009 study, you know, which says 2009 study which says that the poor people are dying. 2009 study out of Harvard. 45,000 worth.

Are dying every year because they don't have access to care or they have limited access to care. And he basically just says like, well, not it. No. I don't believe your numbers. I don't believe it. Like really? That's your response is I don't believe it? I. Like, really? That's your response is I don't believe it? I don't think so?

That's not a considered fucking response. That's not a rational fucking response. You know why I hate Rick Santorum the most is because he wants to ban porn. Yeah, this falls under the good fucking luck column. Yeah, no kidding, right? This is going to happen. Yeah, you're going to ban pornography. You will be assassinated, sir.

I'm just saying. Somebody will assassinate you with their dick. What are you kidding me? I'm not going to do it, but there's going to be a lot of pent up rage in this country. Oh, my God. They'll shoot you from 100 meters. Let me tell you. I mean, you're basically giving every man in this country a sniper rifle in his pants.

Right? That's not a good idea at all. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. This is that fucking family leader thing, you know? Right. Right. The family leader.

Yeah. Talk about a party that's been hijacked by the conservative Christians. Like, the family leader. Leader, leader, leader, leader, leader, leader, leader. Leader. The family leader. Leader. Oh, my gosh.

They're trying to get all these guys to sign this, you know, the crazy pledge. And, you know, the crazy signed it first. Bachman was like, well, I'll sign anything, you know. She didn't sign it. Her husband signed it for her. Right. No kidding.

He held her hand like, let me make your mark, baby. Let me make your mark. And then Rick Perry, of course, signed it because he thought it would end wildfires in Texas or something. Yeah, he had no idea. He didn't even know what he was signing. You didn't even know what state he was in. What are you kidding me? Well, he's only aware of one state.

Great state of Texas. Everything else is subordinate to Texas. But Rick Santorum signed it as well. He signed this family leader pledge. And this family leader pledge basically is – it's like this idea that same-sex marriages wouldn't be allowed. They're basically saying like we want to make sure that Christian – like conservative, crazy evangelical Christian values about sex and the Victorian ideals we have are going to be taken to the next level if you were to become president.

That's basically what this fucking document is. Right. And one of them is the banning of pornography. I mean, why cripple our one functioning industry? Yeah. You know? If there's one thing America is good at. Do we have to import everything now?

You know, speaking of shit that's just not going to happen, he also wants to annul all same-sex marriages. He basically says, like, yeah, if I get an office, all those same-sex marriages that have taken place, I'm just going to go ahead and give them the not-it stamp. That's fucking bullshit, man. Yeah. You're going to try to roll back. Not only are you not going to continue to allow for states' rights, big conservatism. Right. You're going to, from a national perspective, roll back the rights of existing married couples.

But isn't this just one step away from saying that two guys can't live together or two women can't live together? Isn't this really just one step away from saying that? Like, you know, if you're two guys, you got to prove that you're just roommates. Right. Like, you got to, like, submit your Santorum every week to make sure that you're not actually Like, Santorum check. This guy is a fucking nightmare though.

He really is like all the worst things to come out of the Republican Party. He's like the fucking Godzilla. He's like the nasty creature that was fucking mutated and got stronger and stronger and has fucking stomped his way out of the ocean and is now fucking terrorizing Iowa. He's like the toxic Avenger. Except for, except for instead of green, he's brown and oily. I was in Indianola a few months ago and I was talking to someone who works at the Department of Public Welfare here. And she told me that the state of Iowa is going to get fined if they don't sign up more people under the Medicaid program. They're just pushing harder and harder to get more and more of you

dependent upon them so they can get your vote. That's what the bottom line is. I don't want to make people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money and provide for themselves and their families. Either Rick Santorum in a speech on Sunday in Sioux City, Iowa, either he made an incredibly racially insensitive comment or he was talking like a pirate. It's somewhat difficult to tell because I think he catches himself partially when he says – he basically singles out – he's talking about entitlement reform. And rather than saying like poor or some other euphemism for poor, he starts to say black people.

And you can kind of hear that he catches himself. So it actually kind of sounds say black people. And you can kind of hear that he catches himself. So it actually kind of sounds like, and black people. Blah, blah, blah. Yarr. Tis the black people that is getting all the entitlement, tis. Tis. They be taking my pieces of eight. They're very concerned about pirates.

Taking my pieces of eight. They're very concerned about pirates or in his mind, black people and poor people are the same fucking thing. Because if you can use the term interchangeably, it probably means you're using the concept internally interchangeably. Absolutely. Like that's the first thing I thought is like, oh, well, that's a slip. But it's a slip that shows me part of his fucking psyche, you know? It's a slip that says, oh, I know what you really mean, dude. Even if you just messed up a little, you're like, oops, kind of just let something slip out. Hey, buddy, I know what you mean inside.

I know because it's come out now what you really mean. And isn't this perfect though that you have somebody at this day and age – we're talking 2012 now. This guy is saying stuff like being black is who is getting the entitlement programs. If you're black in this country, you are part of the entitlement state. you're black in this country, you are part of the entitlement state. You are part of the people who are basically stealing money from the government, taking money from the government to live high on the hog in your big pack Cadillacs with all your, your hose, you know, and your giant gold chains. Cause all the money you make off of welfare, all that money, all the kids that you have when you're out there pumping out your kids to support your Cadillac habit.

Your Cadillac habit. Your Cadillac habit. I got to have another Escalade. I need it. Give me a fucking break, you asshole. Like that's such a myth. This guy is just – he's fucking covered in mythology whether it's talking about fucking God's law or talking about the entitlement state. The guy is just fucking full of mythology.

You're really going to consider hiring a man for a job who's so – I mean he's racist. The man is racist. When you conflate poor with black. You know, the thing that makes me crazy is you look at the comments in the article this is this is a video from cbs and the very first comment he said bly something like when you say big and huge at the same time and come out with hig he did not say black fuck you fuck you really because then what are the two words he was trying to say? What two words? He was trying to say blight. He was trying to say blight.

He was trying to say blight. Blight people. Blight, blight, blight. Blight people. Even if you were to think that he says blight, really? What kind of people is he talking about that starts with BL? It's black, dude. He says black people.

Yeah. And you know what? Like that's just fucking an apologist. That's what that is. That's just somebody who's like who's like, oh, I'm going to I'm going to pretend that he said something else. So it doesn't sound like he said something. No, motherfucker. Dude is dude is not only a fucking anti-gay fucking crazy person. He's also fucking he's also a racist. Why would we be surprised if you're a bigot about one thing? Yeah, exactly. Are we surprised you're a bigot about another? No. We shouldn't be surprised.

I mean, the man's obviously a bigot, and he has no problem with it. The only difference is that it's still kind of okay in certain circles to be a bigot about sexual identity. But, you know, it's not okay anymore to be openly racist. Right. Someone's got to tell that to Santorum. Hell. Someone's got to tell that to Santorum. Hell, someone's got to tell that to Gingrich. Yeah. And if I become the nominee, I'm going to take a very simple symbol.

I'm going to have food stamps versus paychecks. President Obama is the most effective food stamp president in American history. You know, because Gingrich makes a similar comment. He's talking about food stamps. And he's defending his comment about food stamps. He says,

and so I'm prepared if the NAACP invites me. I'll go to their convention to talk about why the African American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied NAACP invites me. I'll go to their convention to talk about why the African-American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps. Most people who get food stamps are employed. Also, most people who get food stamps aren't black. These fucking politicians, Tom, are so fucking out of touch. And this is the problem in America when you have guys that are so out of touch with reality that all they do is just – they have an idea of what happens because it's this idea that gets painted to them. The anecdotal evidence is one time they met somebody who made money off of being on welfare and therefore everyone does.

And so – or one time they heard about it even because it's probably not even met. It's heard. I heard about a guy who one time had a bunch of kids and made a lot of money and treated his kids like shit and spent all the welfare money on other stuff. Like that's what they've heard. And so from that point on, they have a mental image of people who are on welfare because they heard a story one time. Well, you got to do a little

more research than that as a fucking politician we have these guys in office right now that are these rich white guys that have no fucking like they don't have any fucking kind of vision of what america is like they got this tunnel vision of what it's like to be a really rich american that is privileged and white and male they They have that fucking vision down fucking pat. No kidding. And they understand what that feels like. No kidding. But they have no idea what it's like to be a single woman of color who's also a mother,

right? A single mother of color right now in this country. They have no fucking clue what that's like. But they get to govern for those people. And there's a lot more women out there and there's a lot more poor people out there and there's a lot more poor people of color than there are rich crazy rich white americans yep but somehow we govern to this to the standard these people they come in with this fucking uh there's a word i'm thinking of myopic is that the word i'm thinking of shorts yeah they

have this myopic vision of America. And what the fuck? Like, why do we fucking hire these people to do this job? They can't do it. No, they can't, Cecil. And you're exactly right. You're exactly right. The level of disconnect is so broad and so vast. And, you know, you hear something like this and, you know, it doesn't take an English major, which I am, to parse this motherfucker's language, right? You know, what does he say? He says African-Americans should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps. So the implication in that sentence is that they are satisfied with food stamps.

Absolutely. There's nobody on fucking food stamps who's satisfied with fucking food stamps that is a fucking wretched thing to say that's an offensive shithead thing to say there are they're satisfied with food stamps they're satisfied with having to call on help from other people they're satisfied with that they don't want more because they're fucking satisfied with food stamps and it also says that they should demand pay more because they're fucking satisfied with food stamps and it also says that they should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps that implies they're not working right that's not fucking factually accurate most people who receive food aid food

stamps food assistance they are fucking employed it's just that they're so fucking grossly underemployed by the lack of goddamn paying opportunity right now available to them that even with employment they can't afford to feed themselves and their family who listens to a fat rich white american talk about food that's like me being like oh i don't want to give you my money so you can eat. Yeah. Bring me another pecan pie. Make sure to cover it in sprinkled poor person.

Right. Remember to baste the poor. They dry out so quickly. They are bony. They are so lean. Low and slow on the poor low and slow something happened a long time ago in Haiti

and people might not want to talk about it they were under the heel of the French you know Napoleon the third and whatever and they got together and swore a pact to the devil.

They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. The assholery just keeps on coming, but this asshole is also hilarious. Pat Robertson was recently on The Crazy Show, CBN, which is like, I don't know, Canadian Bible Network. I have no idea what it is. CBN, which is like, I don't know, Canadian Bible Network.

I have no idea what it is. CBN, fucking crazy network for crazies. And he was yammering while somebody listened and smiled. And he said basically that he had chatted with God over the weekend. A little chat. Fair enough. A little one-on-one. Sure.

And he says some crazy stuff. But my favorite part of this clip is where he plays 20 questions with God. He basically says, like, God says there's going to be, you know, big upheaval or what have you. And so Pat Robertson goes on this, like, fucking quest with God. And evidently God just won't answer a direct question. So God's like, is it going to be a tactical nuke? And God said, no. Then I asked him, is it going to be the Mayan apocalypse?

And God said, no. So then I asked him, and this goes on. And you're just sitting there thinking, like, no wonder it takes you all weekend to speak to your deity. They were on a road trip together. That's why. They were playing the license plate game. You know, they're like, I got an X. I got a Z.

You know, they worked their way through. And then they're like, well, what do you want to talk about? I don't know. You want to talk about the downfall of America? Sure. Let's talk about the downfall of America. You ask me questions and I'll tell you if you're right. And we got this article.

We found this article from the Friendly Atheist. It was on his blog. So, but this is one of those, you would – there's that quote a while back. I remember reading it. Something about – George W. Bush says he talks to God every day. But if he were to change it and say, I talk to God through my hair dryer every day, you would think he's fucking crazy, right? But since he just says he just talks to God, that's fine. But the moment you introduce the hairryer, it's immediately insanity.

Right. I feel the same way. It's like what if he were to come back and be like, you know, I was talking to Kermit from the Muppets over the weekend. Right. And what Kermit from the Muppets said is, hi-ho, there's going to be 2012. It's going to be – you know, like if that was the case, like what I feel like – what I feel like is like that doesn't make it any less crazy than what he's saying right now. No, not even a little bit. Yeah.

Not even a little bit. This whole interview is – it's two and a half minutes of a senile old man rambling on about nothing. This guy is obviously fucking unhinged. And I want to find out. I seriously want to know if he's a fucking tax-free organization because he's obviously speaking about – he goes out and says our current president is like an awful fucking thing. So he's basically attacking a political party. Are you fucking tax-free institution? Because if you're a tax-free institution, you should give that shit up if

you're going to fucking venture into politics, motherfucker. Well, clearly God ventures into politics. God's worried about an election? That doesn't make any sense. God should be a lot more worried about the gays, I think. God has a lot to worry about with the gays. He's so worried about what everybody's doing in the bedroom. There's a lot more bedrooms than there are elections. A lot more erections than

election. You'd think it'd be nice if you started worrying about some of the fucking starving people. Yeah, no kidding, right? Right. Stop worrying about who I'm having sex with and start worrying about fucking giving people foods. So we're going to take a break here and we're going to give you all the information that you need to contact us on Facebook, on Twitter. You can even blast us with phone calls or emails. However you want to get in touch with us, please do. Also remember that if you subscribe to us on iTunes, that's mad helpful for us.

So we would appreciate any iTunes reviews and subscriptions. And we'll give you all the rest of the show that you need to get angry in just a moment. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. We'll give you all the rest of the show that you need to get angry in just a moment. You can email these assholes at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. For more information on this or any other episode, visit the Cognitive Dissonance website, dissonancepod.com. Like our show on Facebook to join in the conversation. Just search for Cognitive Dissonance on Facebook or go to our website for the link.

You can converse with us on Twitter. Our Twitter handle is at dissonance underscore pod. Help us out by retweeting and reposting our shows. You can call us and leave us a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Long distance rates apply.

Your help is fucking greatly appreciated. So see, so this next story also comes from the Friendly Atheist blog. This is about North Carolina public schools that offer Bibles to kids, refuses to accept pagan books. This is funny. This story just cracks me up. This is great. This is exactly what you want to see happen to make them realize that their fucking ideas are fucking stupid. A school in North Carolina, this woman's fifth grade son comes home and he's got a Bible.

He gets the Bible from school. Evidently the Gideons swung by. They weren't content with hotel rooms. They swung by and they dropped off a box of Bibles. And the box of bibles was made available of students who asked for one so the school is basically sponsoring the gideon's giveaway program for bibles and the mother got upset and she called the school and the school said hey look we're not pushing any one religion any religious group that comes by and drops off

a holy text, cool. We'll make it available for the kids. Free knowledge. Teach the controversy. So she said, okay, fine. I'm pagan. I'll call your ass on that shit. So she swings by with a box of pagan books. We're reviewing our policy.

We're not really going to hand these out. I like that in the article the author of the Friendly Atheist blog says something like, why wouldn't they just fucking accept them and just pretend? I know. Like at least then you look consistent. That's the first thing I thought is like, didn't you realize that you were – at that point, you were checkmated.

What they did is they just like – they were like, oh, nuclear bomb. And then they knocked all the pieces off the chessboard. I still win. That's not – that doesn't – you don't win when you do that. You lost. Bitch fucking checkmated you, yo. Just be good with it. Well, he just called you out on your fucking policy.

Right. To say, OK. It's like this is exactly what the flying spaghetti monster is. You know? Right. It's calling someone out on your policy. Your policy is this. And it is absolutely set up so that the Judeo-Christian tradition is favored.

That's how your policy is set up. But the moment somebody comes in and says, but you word it in a way to make it seem like it's all religions, but it's not. So then you come in with another religion like the flying spaghetti monster or paganism. And then suddenly like, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Well, we really didn't mean that. We didn't mean that we wanted to teach creationism from the flying spaghetti point of view where people are touched by his noodley appendage. No, no, no. We didn't want to do that. These policies are, you know, they know enough. They obviously they know enough to word their defense always in the couched and sort of vague terms of religion in general without specifying. But you're absolutely right. You know, I think the same thing would have happened yeah she was she was pagan and that's you know in america that's kind of an extreme

um i don't think it's any more extreme personally than christianity but in america that would be seen as like a fringe or extreme religious idea you know ideology um do i think the same do i think they would have had a box available of korans? No. No, they would not. Absolutely. North Carolina? Yeah. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. Fucking A, man.

You have a fucking book burning after class. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. So this next story is also from the Friendly Atheist. This is like the Friendly Atheist podcast. Totally stealing shit from this guy's website. It's a great website, though. It is. It's worth stealing from. He's far more friendly than we are, too.

I've noticed that. He's even smiling. I didn't know you could smile. I've never smiled. You can't be a smiling atheist. That's impossible. It just scares the chimps when I do it. He just ate a baby.

That's why he smiled. He's sated, you know. Federal government weighs 666,000. I love that it's 666. I love the number that they came up with. I just noticed that. That's awesome. To study the effectiveness of praying away AIDS. You know, here's the problem I have with this. Somebody brought this up a long time ago on our Facebook page or something similar up. I don't remember if it's the same thing but you know my first thought was um hey that's how science works somebody proposes a hypothesis absurd as it is we don't get to say that's not true until we test it sure so to that to that, to that extent, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a supporter of saying, Hey, well, you know, let's test all ideas. However, some ideas are, um, a already very

well studied, um, prayer as an intercept intercessory prayer and prayer in general has been studied a lot. And the studies never come back with positive results. In fact, the last major study of intercessory prayer actually showed a negative correlation between prayer and health. God was mad. He was pouting. Because, you know, they speculate that the reason is that people were demoralized, that the prayers of other people weren't making them feel better. So the patients began to feel worse because they felt so guilt-stricken that these prayers weren't healing them.

Or it was God who was mad at being tested. I don't know. I think you can go for a second hypothesis here, Tom. The problem a lot of times when you pray, you know, and a lot of people don't, is that often Pat Robertson is on a road trip with God. Sure. You're getting his voicemail at that point. Yeah. It sucks. It's his Gmail.

He doesn't know how to use it. Right. I mean, think about it. You're like – your grandparents don't know how to use technology. They're not as old as God. Heaven is a blinking 12. Like that's what it is i've got to kill somebody who can set this thing for me it can't function at anything

wouldn't you be just as outraged though if they had a like if they spent you know half a million dollars on trying to find out if fucking dinosaurs still existed. Right. Like if they spent, you know, a half a million dollars trying to turn lead into gold. Like I would be just as I would be the exact same amount of outrage. I'd be like, look, I understand, you know, certain things need to be tested on them. And I'm not anti-science. I hope that they do test things out.

But when you have a track record, when tracker – when your fucking process starts out with what we're going to do is pray to some imaginary fucking creature in the sky to make people better, I don't think that that's a place to base science off of. No, you have to have – your hypothesis has to pass a test of basic plausibility. You have to have a proof of concept before you move forward into, you know, large scale testing of any kind. It doesn't take $666,000 to figure out that there's no basic proof of concept that can be established with fucking prayer. Now, you know, that guy ain't shit. Sorry, ass motherfucker got nothing on me, right? Nothing. Cecil, this next story infuriates both of us. President Obama signed the defense authorization bill, NDAA. Fuck you, President Obama.

Yeah, fuck you, dude. This was a terrible decision. This is an indefensible bill. I have no problem saying that. This is a grossly indefensible bill. This bill weakens the civil liberties and civil rights of all Americans by providing the ability of the government to just decide somebody is a terrorist. That decision is not subject to judicial review. Based on the decision that somebody is a terrorist, they can detain even American citizens for indefinite periods of time without right to trial. Well, that's – it's just a horrifying idea that we have given up. We're willing to give

up this stuff for security. And I and I would contend that indefinitely holding someone doesn't raise your security level. It actually lowers it. If you indefinitely detain people, you're going to get more and more people that are going to be upset with the policies of this country, whether they live here or not. And if they indefinitely detain my wife, I would certainly be willing to do some drastic things to make sure that she got out. And those drastic things might include, you know, some horrible terrorist activity. And you could be breeding terrorists through this bill. And now he says, put the signing statement on there.

We're not going to use this for Americans, blah, blah, blah. But you can. Yeah, and that's – see, so we talked about this before we began recording. And I think that the most important problem with this bill isn't whether or not President Obama will use this power. It's that this power is now enshrined into law. It exists. And whether President Obama has all the right intentions or not, whether you believe that or not, doesn't make any fucking difference. You've taken away a right. You've made a right a privilege.

And this is I think this is this is the worst bill that's been signed into law in the last 12 years. This bill is in some ways more egregious than the Patriot Act. And I never thought I would say that. I really didn't. I thought what a tag team between this and the Patriot Act. It's such an erosion of those core principles that you learn as a civics student in American high school. When you take civics classes, you read the constitution. You're tested on the constitution. We discuss the constitution. And you come to believe in it.

You come to believe like, okay, this document makes a lot of sense to me. I understand how we got from here to here, to where we are now. And so much of that stems from these, I think, very solid fundamental principles of governance. And when you begin to chip away at those, you're not doing yourself any favors. You're eroding the very foundation of what it means to be an American by eroding those rights. And you're also saying, hey, you guys just fucking remember those rights you think we have? No. We can take them away at any time. Lord, we just asked it to be covered with the blood of Jesus.

Open hearts, Lord. Open hearts. 15-year-old boy murdered for being a witch in London. In London, Cecil. This story is not safe for life. It really isn't. This is from Atheist Underworld. This 15-year-old boy was not just murdered for being a witch,

but was tortured in such a horrifying, grisly fashion for an extended period of time before eventually being so weakened and damaged by the torture that when placed in a bathtub was unable to raise their own head to not drown. Yeah, I had to take a break from this story. I started reading it, got through about three paragraphs or four paragraphs of the quoted text, and then stopped and was like, you know what? I'm going to take a second, walk away from this, come back and finish it. Because it's that, it's grisly and it's one of those stories where you just wish the person

was at arm's length that did this. Because it's a, you know, you put somebody through this kind of torture because of your crazy fucking religious beliefs. Yeah. The end of the article, I think, explains it perfectly. And from Atheist Underworld, I'm going to read directly from the article. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely, right?

Bravo. This person has a has a crazy belief based off of, you know, you don't get here from not having a belief, a deep seated belief in witches and and the devil and that sort of you don't get there if you don't have that. If you grow up in a place where people are like witches, the devil, that shit's fucking made up. You would never fucking torture and kill somebody over it. It just wouldn't happen. No, because you would laugh. You would think that's silly. There's no such thing as magic and witches and wizards. And, you know, I mean, it's like it's some fucking dragons and castle bullshit to me, you know, and it should be to everybody. But the thing is that if you have a belief in witches and Christianity christianity does not dispel that belief it directly addresses thou shall not suffer a witch to live it directly addresses and and codifies the existence of them

and you know yeah cecil i'm gonna be if i honestly if i if if in my heart of hearts i thought that there was somebody in my house who could use magic powers to destroy me, would I try to destroy them in return? Yeah. Because if I see those magic powers as every bit as dangerous, just like this guy says, if I see those magic powers as every bit as dangerous as a man wielding a gun, then I'm going to take actions that are in keeping with the threat level that I'm assessing here. But the result is that this boy is dead because of superstitious mumbo jumbo bullshit. We've talked about this in the past. It's important what people believe. It's important that people have a worldview that's rationally based. It's important not because I said it's important it's not important because um i think it's better it's important because when you don't lives are lost real lives genuine honest lives in cities

like london where they should fucking know better god has no place within these walls just like facts have no place within organized religion. So Cecil, this next story, this is just funny. The ACLU demands West Virginia County stop funding the annual Jesus Fest Festival. There's really nothing to this story. There's a Jesus Fest Festival. I love that. It's a fest festival.

Jesus Fest Festival. So there's a Jesus Fest Festival. It sounds like it was stuttered. I know. It's a fest festival. Jesus Fest Festival. So there's a Jesus Fest Festival and... It sounds like it was stutter. I know. It's awesome. Each year, the county provides $2,000 in funding for the Jesus Fest. And the ACLU is basically saying, hey, that's government money going

toward Jesus Fest. Don't do it. Cut it out. Probably not a good idea. Okay. Nothing new here, right? Nothing new here. The best part of this whole story though, is a quote from the guy who is defending using this money. He basically says it's not taxpayer money. And he says it's not taxpayer money because that money does not come from property tax money. It comes from what I call devil's money, which is gambling money from video lottery and table games that the county has received.

What I love is that the devil has convinced them to use his money to support Jesus Fest. I love that too. That's the best part about the entire thing is that the devil is so smooth. He's just like, yeah, we're going to support your Jesus Fest. I love that too. That's the best part about the entire thing is that the devil is so smooth. He's just like, yeah, we're going to support your Jesus Fest here. First Jesus Fest is free kid. Wear this, wear this Jesus Fest badge sponsored by Satan. This Jesus Fest brought to you by Satan, Satan, the only demigod. Yeah. The proud sponsor of Satan. Yeah, I think this is ridiculous. But, you know, this is a guy who doesn't understand.

Like, if this is your person who's in charge, he doesn't understand taxes or money that government gets. It's baffling. It all comes to the government, stupid. So it comes from fucking all of us in some way. It's like, well, it came from video slots. Yes, as a tax. Only godless. It came from roads and only godless people ride on those roads.

It's baffling. It's a baffling comment. Besides, it's devil's money. You can use the devil's money to promote Jesus. Who says you can't do that in America? Stupid ACLU. Use your thinker. Devil money.

Devil money. I am opposed to cap and trade. He is safe. And I also am an amateur paleontologist, so I've spent a lot of time looking at the Earth's temperature over a very long time. And I'm a lot harder to convince than just looking at a computer model. You may have noticed throughout the course of this show, now I realize that both Cecil and I are amateur gemologists.

Yeah. So we're not... We both think gem is truly outrageous. We are qualified to speak in much the same way that Newt Gingrich is qualified to speak on climate change.

Newt Gingrich says there's insufficient evidence for climate change. And he cites his expertise as an amateur paleontologist. And Tom, I initially, when I heard this, I initially, my brain went through and was thinking, oh, well, he's, you know, he's looked at the fossil record or something like that. And you had to point out to me that what he refers to after he says he's an amateur paleontologist is that he's looked at climate records, which would mean that what he meant to say was I am an amateur climatologist.

But he did not say that. He said paleontologist. So I totally thought immediately my brain was trying to put together something rational that he had said. headset. But instead he was just like, yeah, I'm an amateur of this specific scientific discipline, which is not related at all to the thing that I'm going to talk about now. It's awesome. That's fantastic. Either he is not really an amateur paleontologist. I'd love to see him with his little rock hammer and his fucking knickers out there, like tapping away at the rock, trying to get – pull those fossils. So either he's not really an amateur paleontologist, which strikes me as likely.

I don't think he's really an amateur paleontologist. I think that if you were a serious amateur paleontologist, you would know what paleontology was. I think that's one of the first things you discover when you get into a hobby of some kind, right? You know, like when I'm done podcasting today, I'm going to go finish brewing some home beer. Like I've got some home brew working. I know that I'm brewing beer. I don't think that I'm brewing wine. Right. Because I've discovered – I know the thing that I'm doing.

I think if he was really an amateur paleontologist, he would know what a paleontologist was. Right. I don't think he misspoke and he's really an amateur climatologist because if he was an amateur climatologist, he would have fucking said I'm a climatologist. I think he doesn't know what paleontology is. That's what I think. Well, what you pointed out earlier, which I thought thought was fucking awesome is he's trying to fucking use the argument from authority he's just using the wrong authority

I love that shit that's the best ever now we should use the wrong authority for everything because it obviously works I'm an amateur sandwich artist sandwich artist yeah I can drive this semi because I'm an amateur barista sure right yeah you know yeah

they should let anybody who's an amateur something comment on anything and plus you know you pointed out like well who fucking cares if you're an amateur but even if he said he was an amateur climatologist who fucking cares you wouldn't let an amateur brain surgeon do brain surgery on you i can open your head like a flip top and fucking start poking around with a scalpel i think you'd be like fucking seeing the hannibal for crying out loud to be feeding your own brain to you i wouldn't want that who's gonna who's gonna take the word of the amateur when i could take the word of the professional. The professionals resoundingly agree. Well, I'm an amateur paleontologist.

Wow, great. So you, in an amateur fashion, know a little maybe about the fossil record. Okay. Well, if I need to know something about the fucking fossil record, guess what? I'll call a professional. He's a professional floppy-faced white guy. That's what he is. Professional fucking person who looks like a basset

house. Dude, you could seriously fucking do a full-on Newton's Cradle with those jowls. If you pick the left one up, give it a half a second, that shit will reverberate. He looks like McCain. He looks like he's storing legislation for the winter. Like he's just stuffing it in his cheeks to hold onto it.

I got a little pocket in there. Oh, look, NDAA. He can actually fucking house prisoners in there. Amateur paleontologist. In definite attention in his jowls. So Cecil, we got some very good email this time. We got, I think, one of my favorite emails that we've gotten in a long time. This email definitely wins Bot of the Week.

I actually have seen many helpful elements in your webpage, episode 24, Pub Crawl Birmingham, Cognitive Dissonance, the podcast, about computing devices. On the other hand, I've got this opinion that notebooks continue to be not quite strong, sufficiently becoming a wise decision when you frequently accomplish tasks that require a great deal of power,

for instance, video editing. Guy's got a point. However, for internet browsing microsoft word producing and many additional well-known pc work they are all right assuming you never mind your little friend display size appreciate giving your thinking say hello to my little the friend display size he must listen to the show he knows all about our little friend, Display Size. He must listen to the show. He knows all about our little friend. My tiny URL has become legend. Obviously, it's getting bigger.

It's a grower, not a shower. Oh, these bots are phenomenal. You guys, you don't understand how many bots assault us each week on our blog. Like that's basically what we get is just literally 25 posts a week that are all bots and two posts a week that are human beings.

Right. It's bot-tastic. It's awesome. It's absolutely bot-tastic. You know, we also got a Google Voice. So we'll play the Google voice. Remember, you can always call into the show if you're if you feel like, you know, you want to get in touch with us. You can call us. Leave us a message. Google voice does a phenomenally awful job of translating.

So we're going to go ahead and play the actual message here, and then I will read the Google Voice translation. Hey guys, this is Susan calling from Savannah, Georgia. I'm one of the guys who got clued in about a month ago via whoever commented at your religiosity. And I like that show a lot, but I think branching out has really allowed me to see that there's this whole skeptic community out there. And it's not just me and iTunes, which is great because sometimes it feels like that when I write about politics for the local paper here in the South, which, as you can imagine. But I've also checked out the Birmingham Skeptics podcast because I love that guy's accent. And so, as you can see, my basis for judgment is at a really high level,

and this show must be awesome. So hopefully you guys get a lot more podcasts in this year before the second coming of Christ, and I'll keep staying tuned in. See ya. So that was what was actually said, and we thank you very much for the voicemail. Google Voice, well, Google Voice had it a little different. Hey, guys. This is calling from today in Georgia, and I'm one of the guys who got booted about a month ago. Yahoo later.

Call me later that we have a job seeking, and I guess all why, but I think I mentioned now I was going about it. You got the whole skimpy community out there. you got the whole skimpy community out there. This sounds to me and I can, which is great because sometimes it feels like that when I write about politics for the local paper here in the South. So if you can imagine. But I thought this was checked out the Birmingham Skeptical Podcast because of the guy's accident. So if you can see my this is for Judge Minute. That'll be a higher level of Miss Your Show.

Must be awesome. So hope you guys get a lot more podcasting this year before the second coming of Christ at it. Okay. Thank you. And then hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Thank you for the voicemail.

Remember that you can always call us at 74074DOUBT. We got an email from Jake. Jake sent us a – I think this has got to be my favorite video. I'm going to watch this video at least ten times every day. This is – I even like the title of his email punch up at the nativity um phenomenal so some greek and armenian months are at the church of the nativity in bethlehem and i guess they were like cleaning the place up because they all have brooms they're either doing like a like a glee you know uh rehearsal or something but they all have push brooms and, and they get pissy with each other and they get pissy enough that they're all

fighting. You know, not yelling like physically fighting. Yes. Yeah. They're not. Yeah. Although,

I mean, it's, it's the lowest level of physicality and fighting. Oh my God. It looks exactly like you would imagine a bunch of priests fighting each other would look like it's a, it's tremendous. And they all have brooms.

You would think the devastation that would be wrought when everybody has a fucking weapon would be tremendous. But half of them just hurl their broom in the general direction of the battle and kind of run away. They're just like, I'm so mad, broom! so mad broom i like to imagine that this is how like knights fought and like they just ran up and like threw their swords like with their left hand like all awkwardly and then ran away from battle that's how i like to think that the crusades were won and lost and the best part of this video is at the end where the police don't fuck around the police storm in and they are like a wedge man there's like 60 of these dudes and they've all got their batons their batons are like raised up at like a beating your ass angle how did they fucking mobilize so fast i don't know but they

run in there in force and they just like pummel these guys there's one like at the end where the priest is like already thrown his broom and he's like sort of backed up but he's got his arms kind of crossed in front of him with the police officers oh it's so funny um who would jesus fight yeah like it's so awesome it's like fight club for priests yeah it's terrific so we thank you very much because that shit was fucking awesome. I loved every single bit of that nonsense. We also got an email from Tim. Tim said that Tim's email was very amusing to me. I recently came across your podcast to find your views and delivery right on, for the most part.

For the most part. I agree with you. I look forward to each edition. I think it is fair to use Mickey's reference to many that he thinks she's fucking goofy to describe your approach. And it is appreciated. So he did take issue with the fucking greatly appreciated line. He thinks it should be greatly fucking appreciated. i think you should get your own fucking podcast you change that shit when you have your editorial control bro no problem the moment you get editorial control we're just fucking around we're really thankful for the email thanks we're fucking not native english speakers. So fuck you.

I just blame everything on that. All my inadequacies. You're just like, yeah, I'm not a native English speaker. He's really a native English speaker. I'm fucking lying. Come on. Yeah.

I don't, I don't know what the syntax is. And I tried to look it up, but I couldn't find fucking as a, as an adjective anywhere in any of the dictionaries. I was just like, I don't know. The problem is actually, if you look it up, but I couldn't find fucking as an adjective anywhere in any of the dictionaries. I was just like, I don't know. The problem is actually if you look up fucking, it's used as like every part of speech. Yeah.

So you're like, well, how should I – oh, I can use it as any part of speech. I don't understand the rules behind English. I just speak it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I speak it incorrectly obviously. You can use it as any – you can seriously use fuck or fucking as virtually any part of speech.

It's an insanely versatile word because you can just fucking use it to fucking mean anything. Yeah, let's fucking close out the show. Let's do it. So as usual, thank you for listening. Please get in contact with us and let us know your thoughts. Tom has been trolling the Facebook page as of late. So if you post something on there, Tom may make a comment recently. So have a conversation with Tom when you get a chance. And thank you for listening, and as always, we'll leave you with the Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. mommy issue hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo-quasi-alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward

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