Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 290: Standing Chair

Episode Date: April 25, 2016

 

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode number 290 of Cognitive Dissonance. And we are creeping up, Cecil.

We're almost to that 300 mark. We have to figure out if we're going to do something for that. I think we should just hold the hot gates at Thermopylae. That seems like sweaty. Like, what else can we do? Good thing is you automatically have a six-pack. All right, I'm interested. Yeah, I hope they're tall boys. If I get a six-pack, All right. I'm interested. Yeah. Yeah.

I hope they're tall boys. If I get a six-pack, I'm willing to do it. The thing is, like, I feel like I can hold the gates just if you can wedge me into the two. Right? It's like when she gets stuck in your vacuum cleaner. It's going to be no problem. Yeah.

It's like fucking literally all the Persians. There's no way they're going to get through here. They just wedge me into the thing, and then, you know, they can't get past. It's fine. It's fine. They'll just hack through me like a fucking tree. They'll just get stuck, just like my arteries. So we are recording this episode actually a little early, Cecil,

because we are taking a little trip, taking a little jaunt. A little short jaunt. To New York. We're going to meet up with Thomas and Eli, I think, for a night of... Debauchery. Well, no. I mean, it's probably going to be fucking magic shows

and dorkery. It's not gone wild. It's gone mild. Right? It's like a couple of 40-year-old dudes walking around New York, like telling everyone to get off their Times Square. Get out of here! What are you doing? What do you call this pizza? This ain't pizza. We should have a pizza fight. Stack like 70

of these together and that's your pizza. I am a little worried like if we go out and like because if you have if you have real pizza like Chicago pizza, Chicago style pizza, you know, deep dish pizza is the only pizza available in Chicago. Yeah, no, there's no other kind of there is no thin crust that's actually more than crust. Yeah, deep dish pizza. It's the only pizza available in Chicago. Yeah, there's no other kind of pizza. There is no thin crust. It's actually much more universally

ordered here. You know, like once a year, we go out of our way to order a Chicago-style pizza, and the rest of the time, we're just like, yeah, just give me the thin crust. No, I'm just going to take the thin crust. Nobody thinks that we have thin crust here. The difference, the very, the difference

between New York-style pizza and Chicago pizza is the cut, not the pizza. Right, because if you're getting thin crust in Chicago, you get it in a square. Yeah, it's a square pizza. And the best part about the square, square is genius, right? The fucking big floppy fucking thing that you get in New York is ridiculous. The thing you get here is a piece that's manageable, and you can decide whether you want crust or not on the outside. It's fucking great, man. Plus, with the square pizza, I will say, like, when you eat 13 of them, you don't feel bad.

You're like, oh, they're little squares. They're little squares. It's fine. This is no problem. But if I eat, you know, seven or eight of those big fucking giant slices, I have to feel just a little bit guilty about that. Well, I don't, but I should. I should feel guilty. As I'm wringing the grease out of my shirt,

I feel terrible. I cry as I rub it into my skin. After the first two, the rest just slide down. It's like a fucking greased chute. My hair is like straight up in a mohawk at that point. I get home and it's like, I got a shiny coat.

It's like I gave my dog a bunch of yolks i'm like a mink you can shave my back hair and make it into a into a beautiful sweater you can't shave my back hair not without a fucking lawnmower are you kidding me you got like those jesus like the black and decker like edge trimmers like I got a diamond tip these things just to cut through it. You couldn't fucking power grind that shit off of it. So we're going to go to New York. I think Eli has a whole day

planned for us. I'm a little worried though because he recently... It's a tour of the New York glory holes. I think he's already mapped it out. He's got one of those maps on the wall with the pushpins in it. With the pushpins? It's like white yarn.

He's going to trace a pattern of glory holes in the shape of a dick throughout the city. You know, like this is a guy who's going to be our tour guide and who had the audacity to tweet to us a vegan lasagna, which he later called a pizza. Motherfucker, if it's vegan, it is not lasagna,

and it is not pizza. It's not food if it's vegan. It had like, no, for real, it had like soy ricotta and like a cashew butter flour anger mixture or something. None of it sounds like something to eat. It sounds like a sculpture. It sounds like some Jim Baker shit, right? Like it's like, oh, open my bucket.

First of all, take apart your ottoman and get a bucket. And now that your ottoman has been disassembled, you can have your soy ricotta anger biscuits or fucking whatever garbage food. Fucking soy vegan lasagna? Why? Why do the vegans insist upon? But I mean, this is almost the half.

The vegans are like, okay, I'm going to go vegan. I'm going to go vegan. It's going to be great. We're not going to eat any food. We're just going to go vegan, right? I'm going to get so much mail. I'm going to get so much mail. It's just want to interrupt you and be like i i really respect you fuck you i respect nobody i respect your ability to uh to starve. Let me phrase this correctly.

To respect the planet in your food choices and to respect Mother Nature and animals. And I just respect that. I think good for you. Get your dick out of your mouth. What are you talking about? No, go ahead, Tom. Go on. Tell the vegans they're terrible.

Go on. They are fucking terrible because they'll spend – they're like the fucking Amish, right? Jesus Christ. This is not going to go well. You know, it's like I made this decision not to eat any animal products, and then I'm going to spend all the rest of my creative cooking energy making food that looks like real food. Like, oh, man, I made a vegan burger. Cut the shit and eat a fucking carrot, man. Like, stop. You did not, you've never made, here's the thing.

You've never had a vegan burger. It's not a burger Here's the thing. You've never had a vegan burger. It's not a burger if it's vegan. You've never had a vegan lasagna. You slopped some garbage together in a pan, cooked it, and drank a glass of your tears with it. That's what you did. Stop trying to make it seem like actual food. Like. Just eat salads.

Are you just telling me to eat salads? I'm just saying if you're vegan, don't be like, oh, I'm having vegan venison tonight. Like, no, you're not, motherfucker. I want I want the person who's like, yeah, I'm eating vegan veal. I know, right? Yeah. I took this fucking artichoke. I took this artichoke and I just fucking stuck it in a cage and it couldn't move for like a year.

In the dark. And I milk fed it. No, you can't even milk feed it. I soy milk fed it. Oh, God. Glory hole in extremely long black cock. So this story comes from the New York Daily News. Idaho woman born with hole in her heart wants parents prosecuted.

I just want to interrupt you real quick. It's not like when you were in high school and you and that cute girl were dating and you put the arrow. It's not like an adorable hole through the heart. I've got a U-shaped hole in my heart. No, literally. It looks like a U. That's actually all the blood is coming out of it. And it's really unpleasant and I might

die. You got about eight seconds to live. So this disabled woman, she's disabled incidentally because she has a hole in her heart. She has a hole in her heart and it wasn't treated when she was a kid because her fucking parents refused medical treatment. Her parents had a religious conviction. They were

fundamentalist Mormons. Doctors were like, yo, you know, that sucks, but we can fix it. Yeah. And she's little, so you can't fix it when you're big, though,

it turns out. Oh, that sucks. So now she's fucking permanently disabled, probably has a limited lifespan, all that kind of good stuff, and she wants to sue her parents. And I think this sets

a really interesting and possibly powerful precedent. Also in this story, it says, under Idaho's child injury law, parents can't be prosecuted for treating sick children by prayer or mean spiritual means alone. That's because in Idaho, children have fewer rights than free range cattle. Oh my God. Oh my God. You can brand someone else's child, it's an item. It's like totally fucking back. It's encouraged.

Yeah. And then they're yours. Like I said, if you catch it, it's like cattle rustling. You see one on the playground. You're like, oh, that's a sturdy fella. He doesn't look like he has a hole in his heart at all. He looks strong as an ox. He could bail some hay up around the farmstead.

The problem is you have to carry around hot irons with you everywhere. Why is this a problem? And that's difficult. No, they have the electric branding irons now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, those are nice. That's good. That way you don't have to... Carrying around the hot iron isn't the problem. It's carrying around the fire to keep the iron hot

that's the problem. Very true. That's a two-hander. So that's no good. You're sitting out there with your bick for like an hour. Jesus. Do ever watch videos by the way of people branding like being branded instead of tattooed once in a while i turned on a couple of them but that's just it's all it is is just i'm gonna bottom the mic out by screaming so i just stopped watching i don't know why but i saw i was i was on reddit and it was like oh click i was like what fucking why would you do that and why did you think it wouldn't hurt? It looks like all of the pain. Literally just like

maybe something terrible will happen to my previously unterribled body. That sounds horrible. It sounds horrible. We do that to cows. But then we eat the cow. But it is an interesting precedent though. This person possibly could sue their parents or

at least try. I guess they want to bring suit or have them charged. They were talking about a bunch of different things. They don't think that it's possible. But it's someone who blames their parents for bad decision making. That's an interesting precedent because you're fucked if that's the case. Well, I mean, I think that there's – it's like anything else though, right? I mean there's a line. Yeah. Like there's a line of just negligence. And I think what this really is saying is that if you are a negligent parent and not like, oh, I didn't give you enough fucking hugs. But I mean like a negligent parent doesn't – I refuse to get you medical treatment. Or I kept you in this room for your whole life or something. I kind of feel like, well, fuck you then.

I mean this shit has consequences. I think you have to have some kind of line that has to be crossed before this sort of thing, you know, kind of kicks into play. But, you know, it's funny. You said, like, you know, from the article, spiritual means, like you can't be prosecuted if it's through spiritual means. But this is really about mean-spiritedness. Yeah. That's what this is. Yeah, yeah.

Right? Right. if it's through spiritual means, but this is really about mean-spiritedness. That's what this is, right? Because it's not – imagine the hurt and the pain that you as a child would have to have gone through looking back and saying, like, I'm so fucking mad at my parents for doing this that I want to sue my fucking parents, right? Because there comes a time in your life when, as an adult, you look at your parents and you say, for the most part, most of us, look back and say, they were deeply imperfect people just like i am a deeply imperfect person

they were raising kids nobody has the manual on how to do it you know and you and you sort of forgive and forget some of those like you know mistakes and mishaps right that our parents that our parents went through trying to get us to where we're at. Most of us do, unless you have really egregiously awful parents. And people who have really egregiously awful parents, they don't look back and say, forgive and forget. You did the best you can. Instead, they look back and they say, fuck you. You did a terrible job.

You were negligent. Sure. Right? And there's a line there. Yeah. Hey there, how's it going? I saw your sign. And I'm here for my stoning.

I'm a lesbian. You guys are going to stone me? This is a common theme. This happens a lot. It does. It does. It's just gross, though. This is from the Raw story.

You know, I grabbed this because of all the stuff going on right now in North Carolina relative to the, you know, fucking hate bills and what have you that have been passed that basically allow businesses to discriminate against homosexuals in terms of providing services. Gay North Carolina waitress reveals that customers tipped her with Bible verse calling for her death. So on the tip line, the check was $23. Standard tip for that should have been about $4.60, give or take,

depending on the level of service, I guess. They gave her Leviticus 2013. That's what they gave. I would have just crossed off Leviticus and taken the $20.13. Thanks for the fucking 100% tip, bitch. So, and Leviticus 2013, of course, is the fucking hate speech of the Bible. It's like one of the hate speeches of the Bible. Basically, if a man sleeps with a man like he does a woman, then they should be put to death

and fucking you should have an orgy in their blood or something like that. It's some fucking mean-spirited fucking ancient garbage that nobody should pay attention to. Nobody cares about it. Nobody should care about it anymore. It's like advice written to you by people who fucking don't understand the fucking

germ theory of disease or wheels or electricity. It's a bunch of fucking desert-dwelling or even short beards right these are people who all collectively got together and said you know i think we should have a club called the let's cut off the tip of our penis club yeah like these are not people whose advice i'm taking it's amazing that made it past like the first couple generations i generations i can't even imagine like look man like if when i was a teenager like blood brothers but if somebody's like cut off part of your dick i'd be like fuck you i'm irish i need the whole thing i need it all i have this

i mean no what are you kidding me instead of saying something to them or you know whatever it is it's just this coward move it is you know it's a it's a passive aggressive coward move you know you think they should be worthy of death that's what you think because you wrote it yet you fucking like you know instead of instead of saying that to them what you did was fucking you know give them a reading assignment yeah that's all you did you just gave them a reading assignment you're like That's all you did. You just gave him a reading assignment. You're like a fucking and you're like a cheap adjunct professor. Yeah.

Dude, it's cowardly, right? It's like it's the it's the religious equivalent of being that asshole who puts a fucking post-it note on the microwave at work. You know, like clean me

or disappear. You know, like fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you. It's like say something. Don't fucking be the rumor mill motherfucker. Don't walk around

being like I'm going to say a mean spirited thing to, but I'm only going to do it in a note. And then I'm going to run away and leave. That's it. There's no way to continue that conversation. What are you hoping is going to happen? Right. What's the fucking, okay, you're a dipshit who thinks gays should die. Let's say that fucking somehow you had half your brain removed and you think this.

What's your fucking end game here? What's, you know, the person reads the note, what's the possible outcome that you think is amazing? They're going to be like, oh, fuck, I shouldn't suck a dick. God damn, I had no idea until I read this Bible verse that it was wrong. What's the fucking end game here? All it is is trying to be mean. There's no, there's nothing after this.

It's not like, it's not like you expect them to change their mind from reading a Bible verse. I don't know. I mean, is there anybody in history that fucking read an old fucking book and said, Oh my God, I fucking cannot believe I totally, my sexuality is completely changed. My grinder account, right? I got, I got a tip that said Leviticus 2013. So I'm fucking deleting my grinder. That's it. It's coming off my phone. I'm done. I'm done.

No, but I mean, what is the end game? The end game is just to be mean. Yeah, that really is. Yeah, it's it. The end game is just to be a mean-spirited, cowardly fuckwit. Yeah, who doesn't want any conversation. You're not looking for conversation. You're not looking to understand someone else.

You're not looking for any of that stuff. What you're looking for is to throw a spear at someone as you run out the door. Hurt someone as you leave. The semen is the cream of the blood. Semen is produced by the blood. It is the cream.

It is the power. It is the cream of blood. That's just no other way to say it. So this story comes from the Salt Lake Tribune. Prosecutor says rape case is threatened by BYU honor code investigation. So the reason I wanted to talk about this story is that Brigham Young University, that's the crazy Mormon university where you totes have to be Mormon and love the Mormons and Mormon, Mormon, Mormon, Mormon in order to go there.

Evidently, they have an honor code investigation. So if somebody cries foul in terms of any kind of sexual allegation or misconduct, the school conducts an honor code investigation. So in this case, on the woman who is claiming that she was raped, and the school is looking into her. The school is actually interfering with an investigation, a criminal investigation, to see if she is of good moral character, basically. Yeah, if she broke the rules, and they are saying,

if she broke the rules, and I mean, at a certain point, they're basically saying, if she broke the rules, she deserves it. Yeah, right? Because otherwise, who cares? Well, and I think one of the things, one of the tough parts is that if they don't, if they can keep doing this investigation, she may have to leave town. And then the entire investigation could fall apart because she's not available anymore. Right. This is the victim of a sexual assault.

And they're investigating, the school, the school is investigating her. I just find this, it's so astonishingly antiquated and backward. Like this is like a world we've all since agreed. I think collectively we've all, all decent people have since agreed like that's not how you treat people who come to the police and say, hey, man, this bad thing happened to me. You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that if me as a man, if I were walking down the street and somebody jumped me and beat the shit out of me and stole my wallet, right? Yeah, they wouldn't investigate you. To see if I carried a big wallet that day.

Like, oh, were you walking around with a fucking big, juicy wallet in your pocket? Like, nobody would do that. Or like, you know what I mean? I don't walk i don't walk around with anything juicy on because anything that's bets juicy around me gets consumed right yeah that's just it's just so outrageous like not only is it a gender double standard sure but like the sexual politics that are involved are just incredibly antiquated there is an argument to be said that she knew what the snake was, though, when she signed on to BYU.

There's an argument to be said there that she signed up for a place that she knew had an honor code, that she knew had all these things. I mean, she attended this university. Now, she might not have had a lot of options, right? I think BYU is a pretty good school. I don't know much about it, but I think it's a pretty good school. I know it's a sports school. I know that they have a good sports type thing going on there. So they might have, it might require some sort of academics, but I think at a certain point, um, when you're brought up in the Mormon culture, like there's probably only

like one school they're willing to send you and that's probably it. So there might, she might not have had much choice. Um, but she definitely decided to go there and you know you have to understand the consequences when you go to a place like this and the thing is and the reality is is that the consequences actually are that you could get raped and no one will care that's the consequence i mean fucking think about that for a second like you're like you know and i don't and i don't feel i don't feel like that's a good consequence and i don't feel like that's a good consequence. No, I know you don't. And I don't feel like that's a just consequence, and I don't feel like anyone should expect that. But from what we're seeing and from what's being portrayed in this story, that's the consequence.

Which is unbelievably appalling, right? Because I can imagine that there are a number of families who are basically like, look, man, we're fucking a Mormon family. BYU is where we go. This is it. This is the only place I'll pay for it. And it's like if you're a student of relatively limited experience and limited means and your folks are going to send you here and you're going to sign off on a code thinking, well, okay, probably I don't get raped. Yeah. Right?

Well, I guess I have to – I mean think about the horror of that. It's like, well, I want a college education to move my life forward, and I have to sign off on this honor code thing and then just roll the dice and hope that I don't get raped. Because if I do, not only do I have to suffer the fucking trauma of a sexual assault and all the aftermath of that, but then I also have to be re-victimized by the institution itself that I trusted to keep me safe. And I don't know that she necessarily broke the honor code. Right. That's the thing, right? You don't necessarily, and from this article, it was not clear whether she broke the honor code at all. But even to be investigated is the insult.

But being investigated means you're suspended from classes, and when you're suspended from classes means you might not stay there, and if you don't stay there, then the rape case might be dropped because you're not there. Outrageous. You know, when I study some of the definitions of Bible words, I can define exactly what Planned Parenthood is. It's evil. It's wicked. It's ungodly. It's hellish. It's shameful. Sister, it comes from Pink News. It's shameful. Sister, it comes from Pink News.

Pope Francis, it's aggressive narcissism to teach kids about safe sex and protection. A narcissism, says a man who lives in a private country, nestled in another private country. Who could at any point be carried around in his own individual vehicle with bulletproof glass that we call affectionately the Popemobile. Narcissism? Yeah. Really? You know what? It's aggressive narcissism to think that your kid's sex life is about you, actually. That's aggressive

narcissism. No kidding, right? It's like we're going to promote narcissism if kids know that they can fucking put a rubber on and not end up impregnating somebody or insist upon a rubber and not end up becoming pregnant. That's it. And he says in here – I don't remember the exact words. I don't want to look it up because I don't care. But he says in here something along the lines of, look, if we teach them about safe sex, then what we're doing is denying them the reality of the finality of procreation, right?

That procreation sex is for procreation. Procreation has a finality. The finality is the birth of the child. So if they can just have sex without the consequences, the potential consequences of this finality act, right, this procreative act, then kids you know, kids are somehow going to become narcissists. Kids are already narcissists. Yeah, kids, you got to break them at that shit, like a Bronco. There is no such animal more self-centered than the teenager, right? When I was a teenager, and this is true, when I was a teenager, the entire rest of the world

ceased to exist for about four and a half years. All I cared about was me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, also later me. You were tangential to me. Sure. No matter who you were, because that's part of that growth. That's part of that intellectual and emotional development of being a teenager, finding who you are and developing a sense of self and developing a sense of individuality. That's all part and parcel of that. There is no more narcissistic creature possible to create than a teenage human being. I just think that maybe they probably shouldn't get pregnant because they're narcissists. Right. Again, they think it's all

about them and then they have a kid and now it's not about you. Right. Right. I think, you know, we talk about it. We talk about at least the Pope is talking about this as if this were we're not telling them about the finality of it. I think that's what safe sex and this sort of STD prevention is. It is. That's exactly what it is. It's us telling about the finality of this sexual act. Yes, this sexual act is its origin is to create more humans. However, we as humans use this sexual act for bonding.

We use it for our own pleasure. We use it for procreation. There's all these things that we use this sexual act for. So let's talk about ways in which you can use this sexual act or not use this sexual act if you don't think that it's that you're upset. And make sure that you don't have that finality. Because fucking, you know,

more kids that have kids is a bad thing. It's generally a bad thing. That seems like a good note to make. It's like a t-shirt. At one point he says i want to quote he says this this way of thinking promotes narcissism and aggressively in place of acceptance it is always irresponsible to invite adolescents to toy with their bodies and their desires man

i played with my body so much when i was fucking an adolescent, I should have had a Tonka logo. Don't invite them. It's not like you don't even fucking invite a kid to grab his dick or fucking put a finger somewhere. You know what I mean? Like, the kids are going to figure it out. They're going to figure out fucking, but they're not going to know the consequences unless you

tell them about it. But they'll figure out the fucking part. Because it's not terribly complicated. It's not. That's why fucking frogs can do it, right? Like everything can figure this out. The other thing, too, is we are not a species that enters into heat, right? Right.

Like many species are only interested in sex and sexuality when the female is in heat, right? Now, when you say heat, I'm always sweating. Am I in heat? No, you're fat, and that's mostly Crisco. That's fair. But most animals, I know I'm going to get fucking emails from biologists, there's actually 39%.

That's not most. Many animals, fine. Sure. They are only sexually active when the opposite sex, when the female's in heat. The rest of the time i try to get they get they bite me they don't like it they don't they fight back real hard this is that's fucking awful oh shit uh but we're not that animal right all right we're not that animal

like you have no idea if the opposite sex like if they're in heat if it's me i'm always in heat right yes let's do it yeah let's do it all right, let's do it. All right. I don't care. I've got the flu. I don't care. I've got the flu. It doesn't matter at all. You're like vomiting midway through. Fine.

It's okay. I'll brush my teeth. I'll be right back. Hang on a minute. No, just go on her. Oh, Jesus. Come on. There's people into that.

That's some German video, dude. That's what that is. You're going to email from Germany. I am not going to do it. Okay, fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. You will be carrying men who are fags with testicles will be carrying babies in their testicles and giving birth to them through their anus.

That's how impossible it is for you to get in this house. That's right. it is for you to get this house. When you start carrying a baby in your bags and birthing that baby through your ass, then you can own this house. Until I see you pull a baby out your ass, you ain't gonna pull this church out from underneath to us. And boomshacka-lacka goes right

there, and all you fags can go to hell and do it now. So this is great. This is our buddy. This is Pastor Manning. This is from the Joe My God blog. What I love about this image that Joe My God found, it really looks like someone is putting a rectal

thermometer in his ass right now. And he's loving it, too. Oh, yeah. He's loving it like McDonald's is loving it. Right? His eyes are closed, but his fists aren't clenched. You know what I mean? His toes are curled, though. Yeah. That's a man who knows how to relax just the right spot.

Yeah, for sure. Let's listen to this. This is Pastor Manning talking about gay people getting cancer in their butthole. Shocking. He's obsessed again with the butt. I got a word from you. I got a word of knowledge, a word of prophecy. And I want you preacher to use this word of prophecy ever,

whether so ever you go. Whether so ever you go? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, it's a single word of prophecy. What is it? Anal? It's his only search term in Google, I'll tell you that. The God is going to put a burning, God's going to put a cancer in the butthole.

That's called too many habaneros, man. That's what that is. That's an Indian ghost pepper. I was just going to say I had Indian last night, and I had cancer in the butthole this morning. God's going to put a cancer in the butthole of every sodomite. Every sodomite butthole. Well, he has it for fucking thousands of years. He's behind.

Hey! Hey! Nicely done. He's going to put a cancer in the butthole. He's going to do it. He is. He hasn't yet. And there's fucking gay people that are right.

There are gay people right now dying happy. Like, oh, I didn't get my cancer in my butthole. Anyway, ugh. And they're dead. There's plenty of gay people right now having gay sex. Right. Yeah. And they're just like, oh, man, nice butthole.

I like the way it doesn't currently have cancer. And what about, like, two lesbians are going to just, like, have it in the butthole? For no reason? Like, I wasn't even. Jesus, all I was doing was scissoring. That's it. Yeah. Like, it was like, fucking my face is fine.

I don't know what everyone that practices sodomy from the day of this message will get cancer in the butthole everybody who practices sodomy so straight people that just fucking yeah go to town that's it sodomy is also a blow job too isn't it any oral sex yeah it's anything so we're all getting cancer the butthole because i'll tell you what like if oral sex is completely off the table you're probably no fun like really if that's off the table i'm shopping somewhere else yeah like we're going to a different table right there it'll burn and burn and burn burn Burn and burn and burn and burn. Butthole inferno.

Burn and baby burn. You'll have to, the manufacturers will have to go into manufacturing chairs where people can stand up because they won't be able to sit down. Why would I want a chair? Wait a minute. I gotta have a standing chair. Look would I want a chair? Wait a minute. I got to have a standing chair. Look, I have a standing desk at work. Why would I have a standing chair? And then your chair has a standing chair.

It's like a never-ending series of chairs stacked higher. What is a standing chair? Oh, a standing chair is no chair. You literally have no chair. You don't need it. It's an integral manufacturer of vertical bed. You just lean against the mattress on the wall. What are you talking about?

Because of the burning in their butthole. Every sodomite. That way we'll know it's a sodomite because he can't sit down. He can't sit down. He's got a burning in his butthole. Yeah, because you'll walk into a room and be like, who can sit down in this room? I can sit on my butt.

Anybody else has to use one of them standing chairs. What's wrong with you? He's got a fire. He's got a flame coming out of his butthole. He's got a flame. He's got to have special asbestos diapers. Asbestos. You get mesothelioma of the butt.

Like, oh man, these asbestos diapers. These asbestos diapers, they scratch. They're as worstest. That's terrible. Asbestos diapers. When God gets through with the sodomite, this is the word of the Lord. No, wait, no, you just made all

of this up. It's the word of the Lord. What fucking section of the Bible is this in? It's in as best as three. It's in burning assholes. Number two. This guy. How many people go to this church? Do you know what the congregational numbers are?

I have no idea. For this fucking church? How many people are standing up at this church? That's what I want to know. What's your ratio of standing up people? And why is the preacher standing the whole time? That's interesting. This is the prophecy of Almighty God. This is the

Lord's word. This is the Lord's word. And pastor, if you are a sodomite, God's going to have a flame coming out of your butthole. Turn on the afterburner. I saw that video, though, where they light their farts on fire. I've seen that one. Just constantly walking around with a fucking blowtorch

out of your ass. It's not two girls, one cup. It's like three guys, one bick. You're gonna need an asbestos diaper. You better go and pray to God and ask God to heal you before this word cools down. Wait, where's he gonna... Is he gonna fucking give me a prostate exam to heal me?

He's gonna heal my flaming asshole? Yeah. Then I don't need the asbestos diapers anymore. I have a standing chair. What a preparation age, I think, has a commercial about that, right? The little, oh, the Tux medicated pads. Yeah, you remember those?

Is your asshole burning? All the Tux people are just like, oh, man, we just can't wait for this. We're going to make a mint. Bring me money. Right? You better ask God to heal you, can't wait for this. We're going to make a mint. We're in the money. Right? You better ask God to heal you, and then you'll tell God I'm going to preach against every sodomite. I'm going to preach against the sodomite maker, Barack Hussein Obama, the son of Satan. Why is he making sodomites?

Does he have a sodomite-making machine? He's got a sodomite gun. What does that look like? What is a sodomite machine? It's like a snow cone machine, but it just makes sodomites? It's like a sodomite gun. It's just a big dick. Just shoots out fucking big white stuff

covers you. It's like a super soaker. It's not that big. For me, though, it's more like a dribble. It's like a silly string. A super dribble. Let's just take super out of there and just call it a dribble. I'm going to become a sodomite slayer like James David Manning up there in Harlem, New York City. I'm going to become a sodomite slayer like James David Manning up there in Harlem, New York City.

I'm going to become a sodomite slayer. Otherwise, you're going to have a flame coming out of your butthole. Those are my only two options. Either I have to be a sodomite slayer or I'm going to have a flame shooting out of my ass. God, that seems terrible. Am I at least rocket propelled then? When is this going to happen? Nothing could propel you.

Are you kidding me? There is no series of rockets, large, small, or sideways that are going to actually move your bulk. But it's a nice thought. It is. Does it ever stop? Like, is there, is it just a constant asshole flame? Like, what's the source? Is it just?

Yeah, it's like the eternal flame. Everybody just walking around, fucking flames licking out of their ass like it's fucking everybody everybody's a sodomite preacher you won't be able to sit down i will if i can sit on my asbestos chair motherfucker if i'm sitting in my standing chair right i got fucking choices tell me what i can't do you will not you're gonna have to make they're gonna have to make special asbestos diapers. If you thought that AIDS was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. When is it happening?

When is it, where did this fucking divine crazy person revelation come from? He doesn't, like it's so funny because he's just like, here's some shit that's going to happen.

We're gonna, gonna, gonna, gonna. When is it going to happen? Because people have been fucking putting shit in places since there's been people with places. Yeah. That's how people work. It's like at some point it gets a little weird.

You're just like, what about if we did this? And that's just how it is. Like people be people. Right. So for the entire history of humanity, somebody's fucking put something in somewhere that makes it sodomy, right? Because it's oral sex, it's anal sex, it's everything other than missionary-style procreative sex. So fucking for 100,000 years of our history, God's been like, I wish y'all would stop. I'm going to make the flames come, but not until next Thursday.

You ain't seen nothing yet until you see the flaming butthole. And that way we'll know who is the sodomite undercover. Because your butthole will be flaming and you'll need an asbestos diaper. And you will not be able to sit down. Thus saith the Lord God Almighty to every sodomite and to every sodomite sympathizer and to everyone who tries to come against the word of God, God will inflict you as well. Likewise, he'll afflict you and afflict your children. And my kid.

Wait, my children? What the fuck do they do? What if they're hate-filled bigots? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, what if they're like totally like fucking like gay slayers or whatever you called yourself earlier? That seems like a fucking bad deal. Like it's fucking. Sucks for them.

So it's sodomites, sodomite sympathizers, and all of their kids? Jeez. That's a fucking, that's basically everybody but you. Now you want to talk about global warming, all those asses on fire? It's done for. We are in a tough spot. So long, polar ice caps. Can you imagine being a gas station attendant?

Just fucking walking around. Can you imagine being a polar bear? Can you imagine being a gas station attendant? Just fucking walking around. Can you imagine being a polar bear? Podcasters. They live in squalor, destitute, and disenfranchised. Eeking out on existence as best they can in such desolate places as Chicago. In pairs, but otherwise alone.

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you can make a difference in their lives, allowing them the opportunity to rant unfettered, as nature intended. allowing them the opportunity to rant unfettered, as nature intended. Please, go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures lead a life worth living. Sister, it comes also from Right Wing Watch, and delightfully, it's Alex Jones again. The GOP's treatment of Donald Trump makes Jim Crow look like a blessing.

Wow. Jim Crow? Yes. Wasn't he the guy from that movie? The Crow? Yeah. Donald Trump and his crew and Paul Manafort and others have a lot of tricks up their sleeves that aren't dirty, but are going to be able to block some of the establishment punches being thrown at this free and open election. That if this was a normal election, Trump would already be obviously the nominee and people would be getting behind him.

But the Republicans have said the head of the Republican Party in Colorado has said in a tweet, I'm ready to burn down the party. Let's do it. I mean, for me, this is just incredible that these individuals are clearly operatives wanting to make a one party system. What are you talking about? A one party system? The Republican Party is one party. How do you infer that?

Like, how the fuck do you even get there? That doesn't even make any fucking sense, man. Like, you just fucking said a bunch of shit and then you're like, yeah, fucking square root of negative one. It doesn't make any sense at all. What the what? All the Republicans are going to blow up the Republican Party, fracturing the party potentially into two, making three parties. Thus, we have a one-party system. How does adding one to two make one?

How does that work? It's a negative. What the fuck? Like the thing is, is this guy, he, all he wants to do is just, I think he's either crazy and there's a good possibility of that, or he's just trying to find some way to incite people because this doesn't make any sense at all to say that, you know, Trump is some sort of political insider that's trying to break up that party, maybe that's true.

I have no idea, right? I don't have any fucking chance to tell you the operation of Trump's mind, okay? Can't tell you. I can't even tell you the operation of his tiny little hands. I can't tell you that. That's because you need to look real closely while he's using it. Yeah, while he's fingering his daughter. Oh, Jesus.

Well, he only did it a couple times. She didn't notice. Tiny hands. It's just like i'm at the doctor it's like one of those little popsicle sticks they put oh he's got popsicles he's got flat fingers real splinter yeah it is it's man wow so anyway the idea though is that is that you know he may be fucking trying to fuck with everybody like we said like a bunch of people said earlier, fucking Trump seemed like he was super liberal early on in his career. Now he's not, and what's going on? Is he just going to hand it over to Hillary

when it comes time to actually get the nomination, et cetera, et cetera? But the fact is is that it's a two-party system. It's probably still going to be a two-party system after all this shit blows up. Even if fucking Trump is a giant fucking semi to the wall of the fucking outside of the Republican Party, you know, just boom fucking hits it. I do not think that, you know, they may lose in one election, but I don't think it's going to splinter the party. Yeah, I'm not sure the Republican Party, the Republican Party, if it does break, the Republican Party has been breaking for the last 10 years.

The Tea Party did not help the Republican Party has been breaking for the last 10 years. The Tea Party did not help the Republican Party, right? Those guys are a splinter group of the Republican Party that has done some fucked up shit to the cohesiveness and the whole of that party. And now you've got Trump, who is this weird juggernaut of a candidate, and who knows what kind of impact he's going to have on the party, right? So the Republican Party has been in trouble for a lot of years. The Republican Party has been damaged and in trouble and not operating at 100% by any stretch of the imagination for probably the last 8 to 12 years that I've seen. But Trump is not going to be the thing that breaks the camel's back. Yeah.

It's not. It's just not. And basically globalized things they've already moved on wanting jobs at the un or jobs at the imf or world bank when they keep on saying the un you're just like oh god you guys don't understand how the un works they're a letter writing committee it seriously is like fucking pen pals right it's ridiculous they talk about shit they try to fix some shit once in a while. I think they have a gavel. Don't they have a gavel? They fucking wear suits and they have interpreters.

I just fucking like, they think it's that there's some sort of fucking like black helicopter, crazy ops. I'd love to see the proof of that. It's the UN, man. Like they get together and they're like, should we all have a vote to agree to write a sternly worded letter that says

stop committing genocide? And even that, even that, just like, wait a minute, let's have a vote on whether or write a sternly worded letter that says stop committing genocide. And even that, even that just like, wait a minute, let's have a vote on whether or not we can use the word genocide. And these people are just open traitors. I think this is sedition. This is private parties working together to create an oligarchy. And I don't say this for rhetoric. You're the one they're wanting to arrest. If they want to arrest me and they have all this power, why wouldn't they just arrest

me? I know. What is the thing I'm doing that stops them? It seems like they have fucking everything but a Stargate at their back in command. You're saying that these people have this incredible amount of power and global reach and all of it. Fine. And they're like,

well, they want to stop you. They want to shut you down. Well, then why don't they shut me down nobody's shutting me down this is the same thing about himself though i know they're gonna shut me down they're gonna shut me down they're not gonna shut you down they don't even care about you you're a crazy person right yeah we're saying we should you know exercise our first amendment and demonstrate i think this is criminal i mean this is an attempt to take the country over what is an attempt to take the country over. What is an attempt to take the country over? That the Republicans might exert control over their own party and use a series of rules to deny Trump the candidacy? He doesn't even like Trump. But I mean, that's the attempt to take the country over?

Yeah, I know. I don't even understand. Oh, fucking God, if you did, we'd have to call someone. This is a racketeering. This makes Jim Crow look like a blessing. Nothing makes Jim Crow look like a blessing, says the people that were lynched during the Jim Crow era, right? This makes the Jim Crow.

What does it have to do with Jim Crow? What possible thing does this have to do with Jim Crow? For people who are not familiar, because they're people from outside the United States, what's Jim Crow? Read it from Wikipedia. Jim Crow laws were state and local laws enforcing racial segregation in the southern United States enacted after the Reconstruction period. These laws continued in force, and I want to say this out loud, until 1965. God, how embarrassing is that? And let me just say this, too.

I know we're not going into this conversation But then you hear those fucking idiots Who are like, oh, fucking Civil War was a long time ago And it's like, yeah, fucking Jim Crow Was still fucking enshrined into our system of laws Since 1960 motherfucking five 1965, yeah Right?

Yeah Two, three generations tops Yeah You're gonna pretend that that was 212 years ago And that's when you're going to put your dividing line. Anyway, so they mandated racial segregation in all public facilities and states of the former Confederate states, starting in 1890 with a separate vehicle statute for African

Americans. He's saying that that was a blessing that Jim Crow, which I don't even understand how it relates in any way to Donald Trump maybe not being the candidate. What the fucking what? How do you connect those dots? It's like talking about Hillary's campaign and being like, well, maybe genocide for the Jews was a blessing in disguise.

Who knows? Because otherwise, Hillary Clinton, you're just like, just because you said a thing after or before the other thing, doesn't intellectually connect them. I mean, I know that I don't have rhetoric strong enough is what I'm saying, Roger, to describe the climate these people have entered into. I mean, what can we really say about Ted Cruz? I like Ted Cruz six months ago, but this guy is just a monster.

What a monster. What has changed? He looks like a monster. I'll give you that. He looks like grandpa. He looks like grandpa. He looks like grandpa. If you took grandpa and mixed his face with Batboy, you would have Ted Cruz. Giving him a prostate exam.

Exactly. You could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportion. What do you mean, biblical? What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff. Exactly. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes.

Volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. So also from Right Wing Watch, also Alex Jones talking to Kamal Saleem, who I'm not even familiar with, but fucking let's do this thing. I know you're just a highly regarded, really smart

guy, and I hope you become part of the show, giving us inside intel and understanding from what you've witnessed to decipher what's happening. But just give us a snapshot of your awakening. His awakening is when Robin Williams threw a tennis ball to him. That's his awakening. Stare straight. Great.

I'm going to take you to the ball game. What we're facing, a lot of folks are calling this a radical Islamic sleeper cell, Tet Offensive in the making. The Tet Offensive in the making. All he does is just take terms from history and just glues them together, and they don't make any sense. The Tet Offensive. Yeah.

The Tet Offensive from the Vietnam War. That's what he's – I don't understand that. I don't understand that at all. That's like saying, like, oh, the Battle of the Sub coming tomorrow. Like, what are you talking about? This guy is crazy. Tell us your experience, why you woke up,

and what you think's coming, sir. Well, what's going on, all in all, that the isms are coming together. Not the isms. Not the isms. The jisms. Theyms are coming together. Not the isms. Not the isms. The jisms. They're all coming together. Like Islamism, socialism, secularism, fascism, liberalism, secularism.

Okay. All right. Opposing all the opposing ideologies. Yeah. Well, liberalism. He didn't say republicanism, I guess. I guess not. Or conservatism.

All of them are part of the ism movement for the last days, and they are united together for one world order to make the whole world in pluralism one state, one heart, and therefore... What? Okay. One love. I was wondering about this. What's the big deal about that? I understand the idea of like if we're all one world, then you might start losing culture because now you're all part of – It's autonomy. That's part of what I think it is. Yeah?

Yeah, I do. I think it's autonomy. I think if you have – I think the idea is that the bigger you get, the less control you as the people have, right? What I see is my day-to-day life doesn't change much if we're New World Order of America or if we're United States of America. My day-to-day life probably doesn't change very much. Hell, my month-to-month life probably

doesn't change very much. Maybe the amount on my check every week changes. I don't know. But as a person, I don't know that that would change much. It's just, I think it would change a lot for a lot of people in, you know, desperately poor parts of the world. So that would be kind of awesome. So I think what you're picturing, Cecil, is like a one world government where the government is actually acting on behalf of the people in a positive way, like in a like, hey, we're all under the same umbrella now. So let's lift up the boats of everybody. But what if the government was an evil or corrupt government?

Like what if it was a one-world government under Kim Jong-un, right? Then like he – because then there's no opposing governments to offset that. I know, but they're talking about like how – I understand what you're saying, right? There's no other government to oppose it. I get it. And that makes sense, right? I'll admit that point but at the same time we're talking about governments like you know the ones that are in the position to do that kim jong-un isn't even fucking any position to do that like the only way he could be a fucking one world government is if

he ate the rest of the world but the rest of the people though it's a hot dog based economy what's going on this is amazing it's all It's hot dogs made out of the assholes of prisoners. Jesus Christ. Enjoy your gulag franks. They slim down when we cook them. Or it'll throw off the whole

civilization into protection from different things and now they have to go under world government. What does that mean? Protection from different things, and now they have to go under a world government. What does that mean? Protection from different things? I don't know what that means. What are we protecting? From things. Like what? Bears? I don't understand. Burglars.

Like we're all joining together like, oh guys, hey, look, I know we don't like each other. I know. North Korea, South Korea, it's time, buddy. I'm coming to the fucking DRZ. We're going to hug it out. Here we go. Bears, man. Bears. We have got to be friends.

Holy shit. Have you seen the size of those bears? Here's the thing. We melted the polar ice caps and they have nowhere to go. And they're on their way here right now. They're right now. America is the final frontier. Wait a minute.

What the fuck? No, space is the final frontier. Gene Roddenberry's pissed right now. He's fucking Captain's Log, bitch. That's some bullshit. The fuck? And if America does not take a stand, this is the tipping point. Jesus, keep saying fucking meaningless platitudes.

This is the tipping point. It's the final frontier. Yeah, because all the rest of the world has come together. It is what it is. It's all about the coaching. together. It is what it is. It's all about the coaching. America will never be the same again by this election from this time

because it is really, we're not dealing with a president here. We're dealing with a whole new world order that they want to change America and the first enemy in the United States of America are the Christians and the second part are the Jews. It's most of them!

What the fuck are we doing with our Sunday? That's the thing I want to ask. Now I'm fucking mad. Let's do it. Yes, our beers are down. Dude, like, I'm wasting a Sunday here listening to some fucking jagoff with a bookshelf and a fucking

goddamn face mic. Tell me nothing. You would be happy if you weren't doing this, though. And it is my goal to make you unhappy. So enjoy this story. This guy makes all the sense, dude. The bears are coming. Look, let's iterate the point.

Secularism, secularism, socialism, secularism, progressive secularism, ismism. Isms. Right? Yeah, jism. Those guys are, ismism. Isms. Right? Yeah, jism. Those guys are all going to join forces. Sure. And stick the sheets together. Yeah, right.

I mean. And stick your underwear to your dick. Cold water. Cold water. Washing cold water. Or just pull it off and enjoy the pain. It's part of the experience. It's what I do.

Just pull it off. Just look at myself in the mirror. I lock eyes with myself and I pull it off. That's what. You just point to the mirror. This is for you. This is for you. Enjoy this.

Well, that's just totally derailed and I feel real uncomfortable. Their agenda is, for example, is to take God and prayers out of education system. Reduce parental authority over children. Wait a minute. How could you possibly... What is the government going to pass a law that says parents aren't responsible for their kids anymore? Because that would be awesome. They have that in Idaho.

They just don't have to do anything. Like, parents just parent. Who else is going to do the work? You're going to be like, oh, man. Not me, motherfucker. Right. You're going to be like, I'm going to feed the kids. Oh, the government says I don't have to. Well then, fuck them. I don't care. I'm hungry, Dad. Fuck off. Government says I don't have to feed you.

I don't know. I'm not contractually obligated. Destroy the traditional Christian family structure. If sex is free, then abortion should be legal and free. What the fuck is he talking about know if sex is free then abortion should be legal and free what what what the fuck is he talking about if sex is free meaning like free love what is he saying if sex is free then it's free all the time i don't understand that at all if sex is free is he suggesting sex become

more expensive well i, I hope so. Because right now it's super cheap. Who pays who? I don't know. Like whoever is the less willing partner. As the oil prices go up, the lube prices go up. Yeah, it's petroleum-based. Make divorce applicable to everybody because marriage has no value.

Homosexuality be alternative lifestyle. What? Debase art and make it to run man. Use media to promote. What is happening? Debase art and make it. He's listing things. He's listing things, Tom. I know you love that sort of thing.

God. But he's listing things. That's not how you make a point. And change mindset. Mr. Slim, we're almost out of time. We're going to have the maker of the movie check. That's it. I think that's it. That's not how you make a point. Yes, sir. And Mr. Slim, we're almost out of time. We're going to have to make her the movie. That's it. I think that's the whole thing.

What was the whole thing? That was the whole thing. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah. It's like going to the Asian massage parlor and getting interrupted at the end. That's what it is. That was just a back rub.

I wanted him to finish too. That's what I wanted. That was just a back rub. I wanted him to finish too. That's what I wanted. What the fucking... Nobody's leaving happy. Everybody's grumpy for the rest of the day. What just happened there? I'm going to go home and be mean to my wife. I just walk around fucking angry with teeth clenched.

Tense all day. Stupid non-handjob giving handjobs. Finish myself off. It's not the same. Don't even have to tip anybody. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers.

I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Also from Right Wing Watch, Jim Baker. This is the best. Oh, here we go. This is amazing. Did satanic giants build Stonehenge? Yes.

Yes. Here we go. Yes. I think the answer is yes. What I've tried to do is I've tried to weave through there the reason that giants were infiltrating Israel. Why are we going? Wait, like San Francisco giants? Are we talking about like the San Francisco giants?

The giants? The New York Giants? These are sports teams, right? No. No. They're albums. I feel like you're lying to me. By Weezer. And why

Satan has been, why Israel has been hated passionately by so many nations, why does Satan hate what's going on in this little nation and it still survives? We've already proven many, many times through your own logic that Satan has zero power. Right. But it still survives.

Or Satan has all the power. It's one or the other. It depends on what's convenient. Well, Israel survives because they buy incredible weapons from the United States. That's why they survive. Because they're surrounded on all sides by countries that have incredible weapons from the United States. That's why they survive, because they're surrounded on all sides by countries that have weapon systems from the fucking 1940s and 50s and 60s, and Israel gets access to modern-day, I mean, cutting-edge,

United States-made weaponry. That's why they survive. They survive because during the Seven-Day War, it only lasted seven days, right? They were just like, oh, that's so cute. What about if we did this you know what i mean it's like fucking mr miyagi versus all those punk kids wait a second hold on we're gonna break the sound barrier give us a second yeah yeah exactly yeah when you're fucking

when you're flying in propeller planes right it's the conquistadors versus the aztecs right it's like oh there's a lot of us none of you count and why do they have these giant beings trying to wipe them out and it's all about i thought he said beams but i said beans but i think he's a great giant beings but giant beams to wipe you out maybe that's what the maybe that's what the green giant swings. No, I think that's maybe what... That's a giant beam. Like a big wood beam. No, I think what he's talking about is... He's talking about the weapon systems of Israel.

Giant beams. Just laser. Pew, pew, pew, pew. He's out to destroy God's creation and his whole plan of redemption and contaminate the human race because Jesus came not to save hybrids or non-human beings or fallen angels or Lucifer. He came to save human beings and to have a family.

Satan is out to destroy that and have his own seed and make his own family, and he's going to try to do that. He knows what the Bible has said about Israel, that it is the place where God has chosen to live forever. To live forever? That's where he's chosen. God's going to live there. Where is he at now?

I don't live there forever, but it's my summer home. So I go there every year. I go to the temple, one of those temples on the rocks or whatever, by the wall, where I make them wail all the time. I go over there where all they wear their dreadlocks and their little top hats and their tuxedos. I make them do that, all that stuff. And that's where I live only partially, part of the time i go over there where all they wear their dreadlocks and their little top hats and their tuxedos i make them do that all that stuff and that's where i live only only partially part of the time the rest of the time montana because it's beautiful y'all been there it's beautiful

it's big sky country up here love watching those horses run around that's where god is going to spend all of his time where's he at now now? Like, where is God when, like, some dude blows himself up on a bus? Isn't he supposed to be all of creation anyway? Isn't he supposed to be infinite? I had no idea that he was so nationalistic. It's so bizarre. I'm just going to take all of creation and stuff it in these borders real quick. Here we go.

Can you see where I drew him in the dirt? No. It's like fucking Israel is a sausage casing. And I thought America, according to these guys, I thought we were the nation of exceptionalism. Fucking Israel, taking it away. So he's out, and he built his little squatter's hut up there on the temple mount. You know, that temple. Hey, he's right.

That's all I live in is squatter's huts. Wait, God built a squatter's hut? Yeah, with my coon dog. That's what I do. Or is it Satan that built a squatter's hut? No, God built a squatter's hut wherever he goes. That's how he lives. Don't you understand? We got to my coon dog. That's what I do. Or is it Satan that built a squatter? No, God built a squatter wherever he goes. That's how he lives. Don't you understand?

We got to squat wherever we go. That's how it works. Because he knows what the Bible says about that place. So this is what I did. I weaved through there. Why? And what is the evidence for giant beings on this earth? We all know about Stonehenge, right?

Yeah. Oh, God, please tell me. Here we go. Here we go, bro. Please tell me. What is the evidence for Giants? For Giants! The evidence! The evidence for Giants!

I can't wait. Was it Shaq? Is it that big Chinese guy? Is it big Yao Ming? Big Chinese guy. We all know about Stonehenge, right? Yes.

Yes. Yes. Is that where they sat? It's their standing chairs? No, see, they were all sodomites, so their asshole was burning and they had to stand in their standing chairs. And that's just one out of hundreds and hundreds of gigantic places around the world. Gigantic places? Just big places?

Just big places. Like the Gobi Desert? Just big places. Super big. Welcome. Welcome to my gigantic place. No, take your shoes off. I don't want you to get any mud on my gigantic carpets.

My gigantic place. So wait a minute, you're a giant. It's tough to have a gigantic place in Manhattan, admittedly. The fucking prices are through the roof. You got to get out of the city in order to have a gigantic place out there okay okay you're a giant hold on i gotta we gotta go back because i can't no i get it yeah i'm here with you and you can move these huge rocks right sure yeah and so you make them into a stonehenge yeah and then you look around and think i could have made a chair like i could have like i should have had a kitchen like i could well that's why i just made a chair. Like I could have, like I should have had a kitchen. Like I could have, instead I just made a circle of rocks.

Well, then you just, and then you realize the error of your ways and you migrate to the next gigantic place. What gigantic place? What is he even talking about? Like Machu Picchu? Like what is he talking about? Gigantic places. That testify that some sort of supernatural power or giants were involved in its construction. And I documented in this book.

That's it? I documented what? That giants were involved in the construction? Because you can't explain that humans were able to move those rocks just fucking fine. But why would they do it? Why would they do it? It's not like they built. Here's the thing, man.

Like if they built a giant house, like it was just an enormous, with like a 30 foot doorway and enormous, but they didn't. It's just rocks that are stacked on other rocks. Yeah. What's the end game of that for the giant? Like, okay, let's just say we're talking about other places in the world.

Why do they have human sized doors and shit? Right? Where are the giants now? Like, that's fucking, I want a fucking giant skeleton. I want a goddamn giant. Where the fuck are they? What made the giants go extinct?

They're giants! Because I want to draft one for the Bulls because Derrick Rose is getting old and his knees are fucked. So I want a fucking giant. I want somebody who could just, you could pass the ball to and he just goes,

bloop. Like, fucking, he doesn't have to fucking reach. He just goes, bloop. That's what I want. It just swipes with one hand and he just goes, bloop. He doesn't have to fucking reach. He just goes, bloop. That's what I want. He just swipes with one hand and knocks all the other ones out. He sits cross-legged underneath the basket and then just reaches his arm over and drops it in. That's what I want.

I don't understand where they went. Were there just a handful of them? Did they not procreate? What caused the Giants to go extinct? What ate the Giants? Well, maybe like Brian Fisher, giants are just really old people. Oh, for fuck's sake!

Just keep growing! That's not how people work! That's how I work. You do not. I do keep growing. So we want to thank our most current patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. You guys are the reason why Glory Hole Studios exists. You guys are the reason why this podcast continues with an uninterrupted schedule.

But we want to thank Shane, Kyle, Corey, Quincy, Alice, Stuart, Rape Shark. Rape Shark. I saw that come over and knew you were going to have to read it. Just name yourself something awful that Cecil has to read. Rape shark. Rape shark. What the fuck is that? Is that like a mud shark? No, it's like you know like pole sharks. Oh my god.

Ilya and Jennifer, thank you all so very much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. This week, we are traveling specifically because we are able to do that sort of thing because of Glory Hole Studios and because of this podcast. So thank you very much for your generous donations. We'll be able to mock Eli and Thomas in person because of you.

The first email, we got an image. This is for the first church of the Glory Hole. Jesus, man. And it says, lift up your balls in glorious praise. What has happened to us? Tom, did you expect any more out of your life? No. No, I actually really didn't.

Thank you, Steve, for this image, though. It's very funny. It is. It's good. So we're going to post it for this week. Show notes. This is episode 290. We got a message from Troy, Tom.

And Troy is asking about acupuncture. Troy says, I work in a military health care facility, and today we had a patient come in with chronic debilitating back pain. He had tried all sorts of meds and physical therapy with no avail. So our medical officer decides to use acupuncture to see if that will work, and it did. It wasn't 100% effective, but it did take his pain down a few notches. Just wanted to share the story and hear your opinion.

And he says, acupuncture, good? As the title for the email. Here's the thing with acupuncture. It has been tested ad nauseum. It's been tested and tested and tested and tested and tested. If it worked, it would be shown to be effective. There's nothing magical about acupuncture that I can possibly conceive of where it would work only when you're not testing it, right? If it's very much a physical thing that we do, we walk up to you and you put a physical thing into a place, right? And so if it has some mechanism for action and it is effective, we should be able to just test and see if it's effective. Just test it.

But whenever they test it rigorously, acupuncture has no efficacy. It is no better than placebo acupuncture. It's just, so it doesn't seem to do anything. So, you know, in this case, this is anecdotal evidence, right? And there's a reason anecdotal evidence is weak evidence. It's because just because something happened once and you can't weed out all the variables and replicate it doesn't mean that you've proven causation. And you're not documenting all the variables, right?

And all the results. It made him feel better. Well, how much better? You know? Right. Did it make him feel 100% better? You know, all those different things. How long did it make him feel better?

Is it better than placebo? There's all these things that happen when you science the fuck out of some science. There's all these things that happen when you science the fuck out of some science. Right. And when you just take anecdotes, you know, yeah, can people feel better after acupuncture? Yes. I'm sure yes. Yes. Right?

But does it mean that it works? No, that doesn't mean that it works. Because people can feel better after a sugar pill. Yeah. It doesn't mean the sugar pill works. That's how placebos work. Subjective experiences are open to change. Yeah.

We got a message. This is from David, and David says he wanted to send us some home birth facts. So it's a rather long email, and I don't want to go through the whole email. He says that he's a fan of science, highly skeptical of alternative medicine, homeopathy, but I think you're wrong about home birth. They had a home birth. They had some evidence and some surveys that were listed regarding the safety of home birth. Much of this is actually very similar information to what I found when I was researching this

before I greenlit the home birth that we ended up not having, thankfully, in our experience. And again, I think that this speaks a lot to the power of anecdotes, right? The power about how anecdotal evidence can sway you in one direction or another. Clearly, I'm swayed against home birth because had we had a home birth, I'm reasonably well convinced that we would have had a loss of some kind twice. Well, you couldn't have lost more than once. I mean, at a certain point, you might've just cut your losses at one. I've cut my losses now. cut your losses at one. I've cut my losses now. There is, I think, a difference in experience with home births too. Sure. You know, the home birth that we had had planned was going to involve a midwife and a doctor and, you know, some sort of intervention equipment that they pack up in a

suitcase or whatever that they show up with in case things go south. That being said, there is no amount of equipment that you can put in your, you know, Subaru and drive to my house and walk in with your Birkenstocks into my fucking living room that is the equivalent to a fully functioning hospital. And there are times when a fully functioning hospital is absolutely necessary for the safety and well-being. And like we said before, there's probably people out there who had perfectly fine home births.

Absolutely. That happens all the time. But I know a home birth professional, and that home birth professional was working as part of that group of people who help deliver children. And that home birth professional, I don't think I heard a single story

from that home birth professional that was like yeah and glitter came out right every single one was a horror story every single one was 36 hours of labor every single one was the worst experience i've ever heard anybody's ever had while giving while pushing a fucking kid out of their vagina so anecdotally on my part i've heard only horror stories. Tom, we got a message from Celine and Celine put a link, sent us a link and said, hey, this Amazon Bible is number one and it's a four and a half star rating with only 301 reviews. Maybe listeners could talk and maybe review this on Amazon. Tom, you are a huge fan of funny Amazon reviews. So we're going to put a link in this episode's show notes

to this King James version of the Bible. So if you were inclined to do so, you could put a review of this Bible. I would urge you to only do funny reviews. Yeah, don't be mean. I mean, I don't think it's necessary to be mean. There's plenty to be funny about in the Bible, guys. So if you're going to go here and do

something, be creative, be funny. But if you're just going to be like, this sucked one star, that seems like a waste of your time. That's no fun. Think the Three Wolves shirt. Right? When you're talking about the Amazon funny reviews, look up, to get an idea of

how to do this properly, look at the Three Wolves shirt Amazon reviews. There's a million of them. It's a total riot. You should take a look at it. And then do something similar for the Bible. Do something funny. Have some fun. Yeah, have fun.

Show the community that we have a good sense of humor. Yeah. We got a message from Matt, and Matt was talking about private education, Tom. He says, hey, quick thing. I wanted to mention after hearing the latest podcast on whether private schools are better. Private schools can kick out students who don't perform. Of course they're going to have better test scores and shit.

Public schools have to keep just about anybody enrolled, even really shitty students. It's ridiculous to compare the two when private schools can't just get rid of their shitty students. I thought this was an interesting, I thought it was an interesting point that if you're a private school

and you want to bolster your academic scores, you can just take the bottom 20 percent of performing students and just not enroll them. Just jettison. Just be like, sorry, got to go. But you had some interesting points too that this also opens up the other end. You could have shitty students whose parents pay for them to stay enrolled in the school. Sure, yeah. Build your library for shitheads. Exactly, yeah, as long as my kid can stay.

And then you have a possibility of someone saying, this kid's got to pass. I mean, I understand that there are probably some limits here and there, but there's almost certainly people who are able to pay for their kid to stay where they... I don't think there's any limits on a private religious school. Yeah, and you had an interesting point earlier in time when we were talking about this before we started recording. A friend of both of ours is choosing to wind up going to a public school because public school actually has some resources that private schools don't offer.

Yeah, so we have a friend that has a child who is in need of additional resources and IEP, probably things along those lines. And basically the state is required to throw resources at your child up to a certain point if they have certain educational requirements, right? But private schools don't have to do that. Private schools can just say, hey, man, sorry, we don't have the special ed resources or whatever. And so then they can just tell you to go fuck yourself. So there's a lot of push-pull between the private and public educational systems. One is not just universally better.

Well, that's going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to be back. We're actually going to be recording the day before this releases on Sunday and next week, which is our hope to also be on the Waiting for Wrath podcast, which is probably going to be coming out the following week after this releases.

But we're excited about that, and that should be a lot of fun. We are going to fly to New York very soon and enjoy ourselves, but we want to thank everybody for being patrons and for supporting the show. And we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

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