Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 297: The Gaytheist Manifesto

Episode Date: June 2, 2016

 

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. so this is the uh the second part of the show that we cut in half uh this is going to include a interview with uh callie and ari from the Gaytheist Manifesto podcast. That's going to be tacked on at the end of the show. This is our friend, this is Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson has some kind

and gentle words for drug addicts. Cecil, yes, why are you putting your face in your hands like that? That's not... You're not making a happy face he's so fucking raw and just hates people that are less that are disadvantaged like you can just tell like this guy like loathes people i could imagine him being on a soup line and like throwing the soup in someone's face be like eat it motherfucker eat it you should be fucking grateful for this soup.

It's really horrifying. It is amazing that he hates poor people this much since he gets most of his money from the donations from poor people. Right? Yeah. You would think he would love them, but he despises them. He does. Well, we want to bring it on with some of the email that you submitted. And, Pat, this first one comes from Paulette who says, I live in Massachusetts where the state is undergoing a massive heroin-fantile addiction problem.

Recently, the Boston Herald newspaper headlines read, Frequent visits by homeless put hospitals in a state of emergency. Patients draining Medicaid funds, ER resources. In the town next to mine, drug addicts are deliberately overdosing near hospitals so they can be revived by the drug Norcat. Nobody's doing that. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

I take issue with the fucking email itself before packing even weigh in. Nobody's purposely overdosing so they can be saved by anything. Why would you purposely overdose? Hey, you know, it'd be a great thing to do. Oh, hey, let's do drugs. Oh, yeah, sounds great. But let's do too much. So we almost die. And then hopefully somebody saves their life. But you know what? be a great thing to do oh hey let's do drugs oh yeah sounds great but let's do too much so we almost die and then hopefully somebody saves their life but you know what maybe it doesn't work and we die that'd be great nobody's doing that you know why i say

you know why i'm making that face no autoerotic association do you really think that somebody's purposely overdosing i'm not i'm just saying like autoerotic asphyxiation you try to choke yourself and then ejaculate but you get to ejaculate there are people who die doing it there's a guy from in excess died jerking off while hanging himself he's doing it wrong that it's not just a single case either there's a lot of people who die doing it. So you think that people are purposely – I'm not saying – I don't know. I'm not contesting this.

I'm just saying – This is my shocked face. I'm just saying like there are people who will do this with their lives and masturbation. So I don't know. Maybe someone is doing this with a – I know. But that's a thing. I don't – My face can't this. People die that way. They hang thing. I don't. My face can't.

People die that way. They hang themselves. They hung themselves. Yeah. That is the most fucking humiliating way to get caught fucking dead. I know, dude. You get a big fucking jizz stain on your tummy. You're like hand stuck to your fucking limp penis. Because you know it's not going to be a raging heart on when they walk in.

So it's not like it's going to be like this fucking tiny little flaccid thing. It's like, can I fluff first before you find me a little bit? And you've probably shat yourself. Jesus. I don't know. I'm not saying that's not how I'm going to go out. I'll tell you what. That's the most disappointing pinata ever.

It really is. See, this is why I want to die alone. When there's like a hanging, naked, shit-himself man in your room, and you've got to beat him until the candy comes out, it's the worst. He still hit his corpse with a stick. Who's Smarties? Where were they? I thought that was a touchy roll.

As Christians, what's the proper response to this issue? Should we set a limit to treatment? Yeah, you should set a limit on treatment. You should set a limit on treatment. That's how you fix it. So when somebody's loved one, your loved one maybe, makes some bad decisions in their life and it's like, Sorry, man. Fucking deli counter says 43.

That's it. Sorry, there's a limit on treatment we every time we treat you we tattoo you and there's four tattoos on here so now it's like logan's run your fucking hands flashing so you've run out of treatment oh great hospital you have here should every hard-working taxpayer just hand over more and more funds for this problem your taxes don't go up up. I'm sorry, but it's not like anybody's like, oh man, it's Wednesday. Fucking what happened to my money? Oh, taxes went up because somebody overdosed. That's not how your taxes work. I'm finding it hard to be charitable

toward the abusers of Medicaid because they're taking money from others who do not have self-induced problems. Look, here's the deal. Whenever you're on an on insurance period you're insuring fucking unfit people and fit people that's how insurance works yep so it spreads out the cost among everybody medicaid just happens to be government-run insurance so what they're doing is they're insuring unhealthy people and healthy people the people that are 90 years old and walking 10 miles a day and don't have

any, I haven't had any fucking visits to the doctor in 20 years. Those people are insured. Just like the fucking 56 year old guy who's got fucking type fucking million diabetes. That guy's insured too, because we all paid taxes for it. Just cause you paid taxes for it.

Like it's like saying like, well you're using the road more than me at age 60 i have a seven i have 17 year old twins to put through college and all i can see is me being punished with higher taxes yeah that's a tremendous question uh the bible says if any man will not work let him not eat now that didn't say if any man will not work, let him go to the soup kitchen and let the government pick up the tab. You mean-spirited, jowly-ass motherfucker.

What a fucking degenerate, huh? You know, there's times in people's lives where they don't have the opportunity to work. And what he's saying is that we should not, if you lose your job, you're a useless part of society. And if no one – there should be no help for you whatsoever. And who's to judge whether or not somebody can or won't work?

I mean like look, there are people who – there are. There are people who can work and don't work. But are we really going to build a better society by being fucking hypercritical of each individual case how do you manage that over the course of 350 million people how do you realistically manage that and do i want to live in a world where people go hungry even though there's resources to feed them no shit right because i don't want to live in that world either i don't want to live in a place where somebody's gonna be like you know there's a there's a fucking food right here right that we can feed you but you know what're going to be spiteful.

I feel like there's a basic human obligation. If I have a thing and someone needs the thing and it costs me a negligible – there's a negligible cost to me to help somebody and I don't help them, that's how you become a bad person. Sure. That's how you know you're a shithead. Yeah. If you're just like, well, I could help anyways. And then you just don't. Exactly.

And then you just don't. People that need help, here's a fucking newsflash. Help them. Yeah. That's it. It's super easy. Like, wouldn't you want to live in that world? Seems Christ-like, too.

I don't know, man. I mean, you know. That's not, I mean, it's tough love. That's not tough love. It's tough shit. That's not tough love. Exactly, right? Like, there's no love. That's not tough love. It's tough shit. That's not tough love. Exactly, right? Like, there's no love in any of that.

It's not like the person looks at you after you didn't feed them while you're stuffing your gob full of fucking split pea soup and bread. And you're looking at them like, sorry, man, I'd love to help you. But nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. And they're like, oh, you. Oh, you got me. Okay, give me a pro hug. I guess I'll just be hungry. Yeah.

You know what? There's no love. I'm going to go live under that bridge. You really, you showed me my ways. You guys. If the guy doesn't work, let him not eat. There are a bunch of people who are just bums, and they're trying to, you know, ride in on the charity of others.

And their tough love will say, I'm not going to give you something. You're not going to give them something. Look, I fucking understand something of what you're saying, right? Like you want to help people get better. But by not giving, there's two ways to do it, right? There's systemic change to help them grow from where they're at to try to wind up feeding themselves. But there's also immediate need. There's two different things.

There's systemic change and then there's immediate need. And the thing is he's saying, well, wipe out the immediate need. Well, if you wipe out the immediate need, you're not going to need the systemic change because they're not going to be around. You're just not going to have them. You need the fucking immediate need. That's a thing that has to happen sure right because they're still made out of biology yeah because they still need to eat a food right i was reading an article today about fdr and uh and welfare

and he said that this is like a uh i'm paraphrasing now but it's like a narcotic that knows people you cannot continually give things to people who are down and out. You take away their sense of worth and their sense of pride. And if these people are out drugging themselves, let them starve to death. I can't even believe you said that out loud. Yeah, he's like, let them starve to death. If they're drugging themselves up, then just let them starve to death. You know how many people I want to see starve to death? Zero. No people. Zero people. I don't ever want to see let them starve to death. If they're drugging themselves up, then just let them starve to death. You know how many people I want to see starve to death?

Zero. No people. Zero people. I don't ever want to see anybody ever starve to death. Zero people. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This is fucking Rick Wiles from Right Wing Watch.

God will collapse the U.S. economy. When? When is he going to do this? I'm not sure. It's just going to happen, guys. Oh, yeah, really? Because it seems to be heading in the opposite direction. Actually, things are humming along quite now.

Anyway, Planned Parenthood, devil worship. Okay, all right, nicely done. I wanted to highlight David Daleiden because this young man possibly could go to prison. If the baby killers get their way, they're going to lock him up. There are certain issues in this country that the establishment will go to war to defend. Baby killing is one of them. Homosexuality is another one.

Sexual perversion is another one. They will go to war to defend certain issues. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can take a lot of things away from me. You're going to have to pry the fucking sexual perversion from my cold, dead hands. You have to stick it into my cold, dead anus or whatever. Really? What do you think he's referring to with the sexual perversion?

Because that's where my prostate is. I mean, you're going to have to massage up there. Just a little bit. And it's cold all the time. Just warm it up first. Exactly. Just warm it up first. What do you think he's referring to with the sexual perversion? Because it's not. He's already talked about homosexuality. He's cold all the time. Just warm it up first. Exactly. Just warm it up first. What do you think he's referring to

with the sexual perversion? Because it's not, he's already talked about homosexuality, singled that out. Sure. So what is he even referring to? Homosexuality again. Yeah, I think so too, right? He's circling back. You know what I don't like? Gays and faggots. The baby killing seems to be the one they're most

adamant about. They've been most successful at it. They were fucking – we are successful at all kinds of things we defend as human beings. They don't have baby killing. Nobody is like, hey, who wants to kill a baby? It's not the fucking rape of Nanking. Are you kidding me? You know how many babies we kill in war too? You know what I mean?

Right. You know how many babies died in Iraq when we invaded? You know how many babies died in these other places? Like invaded you know how many babies died you know in these other places like actual babies or just like fetuses babies no we're not talking about like fucking like lumps of skin like cells inside of people something the size of a fucking naked mole rat exactly yeah yeah not the same and make no mistake about it it is it is the human sacrifice to satan They are sacrificing babies to Lucifer. I mean the idea of a Satan is the most silly concept. God creates his own enemy just to fight him.

Yeah, exactly. How would that even work? Is God the white power ranger? I can't even tell. Yeah, I don't know. Is God the Voltron's arm? I was going to say the same thing. It's like,

God is Voltron. He's like, at any moment I can just call that sword down from space and cut you. And eventually that's always what I'm going to do. It's like Lionel creating Panthro, not Panthro, Mumra, Mumra,

you know? Yeah. It's like Lionel creating Mumra. Yeah. Just for fun, for fun, just for kicks. It's like,

I don't know, go fuck with those humans for a while. Then every now and again, it's like, it's like Lionel creating Mumra, essentially. Just for fun. For fun. Just for kicks. It's like, I don't know, go fuck with those humans for a while. Then every now and again, we'll be pissing about it. It's like the kids in the D&D cartoon creating Venger. You look at me like, it's awesome because it's so old. It's so old, dude. I didn't do that at all. I didn't do that. I was trying.

I was trying. It's so old. It's like Speed Racer creating Racer X. Does that know? I didn't Speed Racer either, man. Oh, man. I'm sorry. Deaf ears, buddy. Deaf ears. It's like Robot Racer creating Racer X. Does that? No. I didn't Speed Racer either, man. Oh, man. I'm sorry. Deaf ears, buddy.

Deaf ears. It's like Robotron. No. Robotron? Not Robotron. It was Robotech. Robotech. Robotech.

Robotech creates Dive Attack? I don't know. Coke creates Pepsi? These are not just unsaved people, bad people that we're dealing with. They're Luciferian devil worshippers. Sure they are. Yeah, that's what they are. That's it.

Isn't that redundant? They're Luciferian devil worshipers. Okay. Isn't that like – They're Christy Christians. Yeah, they're like Jesus gods. They're sandwich lovers. Okay.

All right. The abortion mills are blood sacrifice centers. They are sacrificing children to bail. Sure we are. That's exactly. Well, that's what you have to do with the blood. Once it gets so deep, you got to bail it out. That's what you got to do.

Bails is like, I don't even want anymore. What are you doing? I'm good. I'm full. I ate already. I got all my blood sausage stored for the winter. I'm fine. I had babies for lunch.

I don't want, all you feed me is babies. Is there any way you can toughen one of them up? They're all so tender. I appreciate the thought and the effort. You know, once in a while, well, somebody likes, you know, I do love myself some very tender chicken, but once in a while, like a coq au vin, you know what I mean? Like I got to get a nice rooster in there that's lived a little bit because there we can let him grow up maybe maybe sacrifice that pat robertson i'd love to chew on him for a while he'd be like meat bubble gum we are the same people that

existed in the old testament and what happened to them doc god had to wipe them out had to wipe them out had to cleanse the land of them oh Oh, now we're talking about the flood. Yeah, yeah. Now we're talking about the flood. Yeah. Here we go. You're not supposed to kill babies unless you're God. Yeah. In which case you can kill babies and kittens and poison tree frogs and whatever you want.

You can kill it all. It doesn't matter. Yeah. It's got the whole thing. Whenever God hits the reset button, totally fine. Just get the whole fucking lot of them. Had to let the land stay empty for decades to cleanse the filth out of the land.

Right. That's how strongly God feels about it. Well, why doesn't he fucking stop it then? I know. Why don't you fucking do something? Yeah. Like, you've got this all-powerful, omniscient, omnipotent, the whole shebang, right? And instead, like, his only solution

is to stamp his foot in fucking anger and make it rain? Well, the thing is, is what we're slowly starting to see is global warming is melting those. And so I think there's going to be another flood. It's just going to take about, you know, maybe two centuries or so. It's just as slow as possible. I want to give you all time to repent. Thing is, is Noah was 900 years old, started building that boat at 700. Take some time, guys.

Here's the thing. It takes a long time for it to rain that much. I'm on a geologic time scale. That's right. And people will say, well, Rick, God's merciful, and he's long-suffering, and this is America, and he's going to give us more time because there's so many Christians here. He has given us time. Abortion was legalized in

72. How many decades is that? Just fucking count them, man. Like it's fucking basic math, bro. I don't know. 82, 92, 2002, 2012. That's about four and a half, bro. Plus?

There we go. Plus or minus a few. That's just kind of on the old fingerlings, man. You're good to go. So four decades. And God is like, he keeps hitting the snooze bar on the abortion. He's just like, man, every time they abort, a baby cries. It wakes me up.

And I just got to keep hitting snooze over and over and over again. And if it was really that important, wouldn't it matter the over again really that important wouldn't it matter the first time yeah wouldn't matter the first time first time you blood sacrifice a fetus to bought all yeah absolutely if it was like if it was that big of a fucking deal you would have to be like first time you'd be like well i'm gonna wait till you do like 70 million times that's the magic number okay all right whatever fucking idiots i'm gonna stop you when i pull this fetus out of the hat and it's not a practice he has been merciful he has been patient do you know how many babies god has heard scream since 1972 yeah and that and you know what that means is that he's non-existent

and then there's first off there's no baby screaming because it's so hard to get a lung full of air when they're sucking you out of that you know it's just nobody can hear you scream you're all sick oh be nice oh my son doesn't stand a chance the whole world's gone gay oh my god what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now. So the story comes from Right Wing Watch. It's more Sandy Rios. Possible lesbian.

Hillary Clinton. Possible. Possible lesbian. Come on now. Wouldn't everybody be a possible lesbian i guess like yeah i mean i guess i'm a possible gay guy i guess like i guess i could you know like it's like it's intensely unlikely but i guess it's possible sure right like i've never been to prison i don't know i'm a possible unicorn possible Possible lesbian. Possible lesbian Hillary Clinton embraces every sexual deviancy you can imagine.

Hey, guys. One word. Caliente. Everyone I can imagine. This reminds me of when I was a kid. I'm liking Hillary more and more. I know, right? I'm telling you what.

I'm becoming a Hillary bro or whatever you call it. I punched that, Chad. When I was a kid. That's a silver-haired fox right there. When I was a kid, my dad caught me swearing. And he said, I didn't know you knew that word. I said, yeah, I knew that word. He said, write down every swear word you know.

I didn't know you knew that word. I said, yeah, I knew that word. He said, write down every swear word you know. I didn't know you knew that word. So I wrote down every swear word I knew. He's like, great. Write them all a thousand times. Every sexual deviancy I can imagine. This is like a challenge, right? Like, write them down, man. Really?

Write them down. Do I have to write them a thousand times? Because I'm really going to remember them really well. Every one? Yeah. This is going to take some time. She can get imaginative. I bet you know how to spell cunt really well.

I think that conservatives of all stripes have to look at the whole picture. We are in a new world, and the game has changed, and we don't have all the choices we would like to have. So I would just say this, and we will talk about this. Perhaps we'll open the phone lines on Friday

and talk about it. This is what I know about Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is... A carpet muncher. She's a carpet muncher. Just say it. Just say she's a muff diver. Do it.

Do it. Come on. Just say she's a muff diver. Do it. Do it. Come on. Just say she's a hot muscle dyke. Muffin dyke? Hot muffin dyke. Hot muffin dyke. Was that it? Hot muffin dyke.

Yeah, he was messing up saying hermaphrodite, we found out later. Was it? Yeah, he was trying to say hermaphrodite when he said hot muscle dyke or whatever he said. That's what he was trying to say? He was trying to say hermaphrodite, yeah. That's his face did that instead? It said hot muscle dyke or whatever he said that's what he was trying to say hemafrodite yeah that's his face did that instead it said hot muscle back what is that yeah no it's not it i thought because we didn't remember we googled it we did hot muffin dykes came up yeah it was something hot muffin dykes yeah no dyke muffin all right we'll just go ahead and that's a up you dyke muffin or i'll call

over the pig in the tuxedo you titty fucking bagel bite is the first thing that pops up well i'll tell you after you read that, the second thing that popped up was... You titty fucking bagel bite. I don't know what that means at all. It's super funny though. You titty fucking bagel bite. I'm using that now, man. That's it. There's going to have to be a time in my life.

There's going to have to be a time in the next week where i call somebody a titty fucking bagel bite that's amazing i don't know what it means at all it's like the first time you hear shakespeare and you're just like that's amazing you're just like it's so beautiful i feel moved you put that together so well titty fucking bagel bite is one of those things where you're just like i don't you're like oh sir i'll call over the pig in the tuxedo you titty fucking pig i don't know what anything in that sentence means i love that sentence it's the greatest sentence in the english language it is it's one of those it's one of those – What's that? There's a pig in a tuxedo. Dude's a titty fucking little bagel bites for no reason.

You're just like – you're fucking thrusting away. You're like, oh, bagel bites. No, I see like a woman with bagel bites in between. There you go. She's moving them back. That's what I see. It's better than the pizza rolls. Hold on. I'm still like bagel bites uh it embraces every sexual deviancy you can imagine i will never forget in the 90s i've said this before i'm repeating it on this microphone

on this microphone not to be confused with a different microphone. All damn night on the telephone. The Congress on Women, Beijing Congress on Women. Hillary Clinton was the first lady then. She was a driving force behind the emphasis on women. And I'll never forget that. One of the things at that, this was shocking to me at the time. There was a tent that you went in and they would show.

This is going to be, sorry, if you've got little kids, although they're not spared from much anymore. No kid has ever listened to your show ever. It's like a four-year-old, like, what's Sandy Rios got to say? Mama, can we listen to Sandy Rios again? There was a tent to describe lesbian lovemaking i mean that was in the congress on women in the 90s in beijing okay i'm kind of into that well wait i like describe what you're describing they describe it slowly like is there some is there some some fucking secret about it is there something that people are just

like i'm not sure how it works i really yeah fucking really have you seen bodies before like have you ever touched a body before like like could you pot can you even fucking spell sex it's are you kidding me like we have to go into a tent to figure it out where's the tent uh hillary clinton was in this up to her ears wait what was she did it up to her ears what was in this up to her ears. Wait, what was she in it up to her ears? What was she in it up to her ears? I don't know, but she's in it to win it, I'll tell you what. Jesus Christ, man. You don't have to get the whole face in there.

Jeez, you could just stay in the kitty section. Wow. You don't have to go all the way up to your ears. You know what I mean? Wow. Just stay in the waiting pool. I'm kind of, now you got me curious, though. And surely you

must know i do know but don't call me shirley nice airplane now her own uh uh there are have them root more than rumors swirling about her own sexual proclivities since she before she became first lady what not i guess she was a super lesbian or whatever was she a super lesbian super lesbian she had like it's muff lady it's captain muffalata it's the carpet crusader what the fuck are we talking about a super lesbian who cares like fucking a super she's a lesbian man she evidently before she was the first lady she was a she was a secret lesbian or something faster than a locomotive

can i don't know yeah i'm curious where you're going with tongue a gash really quick i don't know i don't know i don't remember that i don't remember that all leap tall buildings in a leap tall gashes in a single bout i don't know i don't say gosh i die and do you you don't remember that old leap tall buildings in a leap tall gashes in a single bout. I don't know. Every time you say gash, I die inside. Do you? You don't like gash? That's the worst. Gash is, I think, the best name for female genitalia. Jesus, it's so fucking awful.

Every time you say it, I'm just like, oh, I cringe a little bit. It's like gash. What's the – I mean, but there's no real – It fucking makes my vagina tighten just to hear you say it. Does it tighten up your gash? It does a little bit. So I just – I think that she's an advocate of gay marriage, and I mean a strong advocate. She's been endorsed by every radical homosexual activist group in the country. Well, as far as – all the major ones, Human Rights Campaign.

Human Rights Campaign. Those queers. And others, especially in New York. She gets that endorsement for a reason. Because she's not awful. Yeah, because she's not a bad person. You know, the thing is, you're waving the endorsement around

like a fucking scarlet letter when it's actually awesome. Right. Like, oh, you know, who likes you? The human rights campaigners. Oh, look at me. Oh, human rights. What are you? Some kind of non-villain?

Yeah. It's amazing. It's my thing. Like, it's exactly it. It's like she, Sandy Rios should be transmitting this from her layer. She gets it for a reason. And when it comes to Planned Parenthood, she's their guy. They have totally endorsed Hillary Clinton and for a reason.

So on those two reasons alone, and I could fill and I will, I will fill in a lot of blanks on that. The choice is Donald Trump, who says he personally hates abortion, wanted to defund Planned Parenthood but didn't want to do away with Planned Parenthood. So he had a murky position on what to do about it as opposed to a person who is a total, total advocate of abortion at any stage for all nine months. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah. No, actually, she's one of those people that thinks that you should bring your newborn to fucking batting practice.

That's what she thinks. Nobody's pro-abortion for all nine months. It's a fucking ridiculous oversimplification of a complex issue. Actually, up till five years old, the real pro-abortionists, they're okay with the William Tell strategy. You put an apple on his head.

If a kid has an apple on their head and you accidentally shoot them in the face with an arrow, that's still an abortion. You can abort them up until their first day of kindergarten. It's a post-vagina abortion, and those are allowed. Until they get on that first school bus on their first day. They're not actually people. You can just fucking take them out back and shoot them like old yeller. You can shoot them out of pumpkin chunking guns. You're allowed to do that too.

The thing is, you can kill the kid. It just has to be creative. That's how you have to do it. After every year, it's like, you can't just stab them. You've got to do something fun. Smother them or poison them. That's boring. You know what? You're allowed to leave them in a corn maze and if they find their way back, then you have to keep him.

If you love something, let it go. Is that what you're saying? You drive your kid out to the forest and let him loose. Here, Billy. Here's a sandwich, and I hope I never see you again. And you have a choice of a guy who doesn't – uh even when he was in a businessman in new york city in the 90s said he did personally did not approve of gay marriage who gives a shit then don't get one yeah like fucking oh yeah yeah so that's a reason to vote for somebody

that's a reason you know all the other shit that goes on in our government that's the reason you vote is like oh and fucking trump doesn't approve a gay marriage well we can't do anything about it right it's done the ship is fucking sailed like fucking yeah great a guy like fucking that's like that's like voting on somebody because they like the sandwich they like there's a fucking oh yeah he likes to fucking uh he likes rudy tooty fresh and fruity and fucking wherever the fuck you buy that garbage great so why fucking let me punch that kind of a super bird guy so what do you know hey boots over miami hey bros like fucking are you kidding me like fucking you can't do anything about it anymore doesn't make any difference you could hate gay marriage with all your little tiny black heart and it's never going away nope it's fucking

here to stay bro unless you fucking assassinate like four judges even then yeah even then like what are they gonna like raise a case and be like no we were just kidding the first time exactly like how do you get it there it's done no no it's not all guys so ridiculous all just a joke and that's what you're gonna vote on that's the fucking issue oh you know what trump doesn't like gays. Oh, you know what? Trump buttons the middle button on his fucking blazer instead of the top button. Oh, that's awesome. I guess I'll vote for it. That's pretty gutsy, I think,

at that time in his life. He is not a purist on this. He's not as good on transgender bathrooms as I wish he were, but he is not Hillary Clinton on these issues. And there is a difference. I love that it's such a fucking lukewarm like even this is so lukewarm.

He's not as biggity as I'd like him to bigot. When he bigots, he doesn't bigot hard enough as the bigots in my bigot pool. Okay, great. This is a consolation handjob. Nobody's enjoying it at all. It's just like, yeah, I guess I'll jerk you off a little.

Probably not even going to finish it. Is there any way you can get out of the car now? Dad. And so I have to say for people to now try to undermine his candidacy and – Oh, this still goes on. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh! Oh, it's so boring.

Here we go. To make sure that Hillary Clinton will walk into the White House, we haven't seen anything yet. And so what is coming our way, if we have another four years, eight years of a left, leftist, left, leftist. A lefty, left, left, leftist. They shop at a leftorium. Like, what is that even? What happened to her face? What happened? It's a left, lefty, left-torus.

What was that? I don't know. Such as Hillary Clinton. Perhaps we need to revisit. Some people are not old enough to know the policies of the Clintons and how dangerous they were. I remember one of them was that they loathed the military. And they showed it by defunding it. The military was crippled under the presidency of President Bill Clinton.

Yes, that's why there was no money in the military in the 90s. And that's why we went back to frigates. We went back to sail frigates. Here comes that military shit again, man. Privateers. Yep. And colonial soldiers. We were down to one sword and a boot knife.

We had to load our rifles back then with the ball and the thing that you tamp it in there. You only get one shot and then you basically have to use your bayonet. That's it. That's how it works. You know what? Even if that were the case, we'd still be fine because nobody's going to invade America. And that's why when President Bush came in, there was such rejoicing because they built the military up, and thank goodness they did because then we had this terrible attack on 9-11, and we were able to fight back and show the strength of America through our fighting men and women.

We were able to become embroiled in a meaningless conflict. And what she's saying is we were able to fight back. Fight back against what? All those people died in 9-11. Who did we – Yeah, good job, World Trade. You killed all those people. Right.-11 who did we yeah good job world trade you killed all those people right like we didn't fight them back they won you know what i got an idea kill 3 000 of our people i'll kill 5 000 of our people to kill 100 000 of your people

now we've got 8 000 dead people on our side which is wait that's a lot more and then you have a bunch of dead civilians and wait a minute. This math doesn't work. so we are joined with uh by the gaytheist manifesto podcast guys uh can you introduce yourselves both of us are here you guys this is so exciting we have the whole manifesto yeah the entire thing okay yeah read it it's kind of and go we need to get in your bathroom it's a real short manifesto i am here to smuggle my penis into every women's restroom um so my name is callie right i am the host of the show. I am a trans woman. I've been out for two, three-ish years now. And, you know, we do activism and we talk about things.

Atheist things sometimes. Atheist things sometimes. Sometimes gay things. Not usually, but yeah. Who's your co-host? Oh, I don't know. Who's your co-host? It's a minute 36 in we're kind of fucked already i ruined everything cancel the whole fucking shenanigans my name is ari that's what they

say anyway and uh i'm the co-host and uh apparently i have things to contribute to the show that's what i'm told best resume ever why should you hire you apparently i have a job i don't know whatever that's exactly right but you say grasp of english you know yeah all right so i don't know a lot of trans people i'm just gonna throw that out to don't a lot of trans people what it does is off limits for me to talk about this conversation because i know for sure I can't ask what kind of genitalia you have. I know that one,

but I don't know any other things that I can't ask, and I want to make sure I cover the things that I can't ask early so I don't make a faux pas later. It's kind of a different thing because there's like normal polite conversation, and then we're on cognitive dissonance. That is true. That's entirely fair. Give us the cognitive dissonance right that's true that's

fair that's entirely give us the cognitive dissonance version then yeah um i am a woman with a penis okay fair enough boom here we go all right it's it here we go that's fair that's fair okay we've crossed every line wow every line has been crossed yeah that's great one of my favorite things that's ever happened is i was at a meetup once and we were and it was like a sex meetup like we were just talking about sex and we weren't having that's called sex i know i feel very confused when i'm in a sex meetup i just call that having sex no the meetup is where you have to tag the person in whoa yeah no there's a lot i need a break i need a break i gotta get some water hang on all right tom you've only been in there 30 seconds i'm exhausted

look at me so we're going around the room and it's just like we're all just like talking about like so like what's your what's your fetish what's your fetish and the guy sitting next to me is like you know like i kind of like i kind of like penis but, but I kind of need a pair of tits with it. And I'm like, hi, my name's Kelly. And I was like, I mean, the guy is sitting right next to me. And I'm like, you know, we've talked about like, I mean, I'm very obviously out. And he like, he got embarrassed. And I'm like, like, I thought he was saying that because he was like trying to like make a joke or whatever but he was like totally red face like oh my god i

shouldn't have said that well that's all he needs geez give him my number i mean i don't know the moves count they don't count they don't count i don't think i get some ice or something come on i gotta pluck all the hairs off right That's a painful one. I got to slip when you're shaving. That wakes you right up. Wait, what? I like that. Already we've got a... That's the reaction I always get from the ladies.

It's fine. It doesn't matter. It's like, oh. I'm just like, hey, you're here. I'm here. Fucking groan or don't. I don't care. We're getting this thing done.

All right. So I want to talk about your podcast. Tell us about your podcast. Tell us what you do. Tell us. Tell us just about it. We make people cry. That's awesome.

That's something I aspire to, actually. That's amazing. So aggressive. I started being involved in the LGBT community locally, and I was really, really shocked at all the proselytizing that was happening. I was having God thrown in my face, and I'm like, you would think in the LGBT community that people would be a little more sensitive. Obviously, there are plenty of people of faith in the LGBT community, but you would think people might be a little bit more careful about proselytizing because there are lots of people who have legit trauma from their exit from religion, right? Sure, sure. And then there was a vigil for a trans girl who had committed suicide and there was a minister that was like, I believe God was a first responder on the highway that day.

What? And I'm like – Wait, what? Like – Yep. Oh, for context, the girl had stepped out in front of a truck to commit suicide this was leela alcorn yeah you probably yeah you probably but i don't understand god is a first responder maybe you should have been a fucking first first responder right like so you're god you could have fucking stopped that shit so it was like i mean i was

kind of getting a little more passionate about like atheist and secular activism. But like the two things were still kind of separate for me. But that was the point. I was like, no, like they have to go together. So at that point it was like, well, like I'm pretty okay at having conversations with people. So a podcast is a thing that makes sense. So we have guests on from all different walks of life and areas of the queer and trans and atheist communities. And the idea is just kind of put a human face on issues that aren't necessarily talked about a lot

and to get people's stories and let people speak for themselves about their experiences, whether we're talking about people of color, people with disabilities, trans people, gay people, non-binary people, that kind of thing to just kind of try and put a human face on it. So it's, you know, I know a trans person now after I've listened to the... Because in all seriousness, the show does get pretty real

sometimes because the stuff is really hard. And people die. By listening to the show? Wow. We make a cry jesus it's the fucking most dangerous show in america it's like the fucking ring it's like you open it up it's like i don't know you're gonna listen somebody will die do you press play

hmm every once in a while just whisper into the microphone, 70. So yeah, so we just – we try to have those conversations and try to make our way to conventions and stuff to give talks and kind of just spread LGBT cultural competency in the atheist movement and then – Also just spread the queer. It is contagious. That's what I've heard. Do you ever teach kids how to be queer? Oh, absolutely. You tell them, hey dude, wear a dress or whatever. So if you do all this kind of work, isn't it

just harder for people to objectify people that are different as monsters? Hopefully. That's generally the idea. What kind of assholes are you? How am I going to hate other people properly? They're going to seem more human now. Right.

I mean, obviously, it's possible to hate someone when you know them, but it's harder. It depends on how well you know them. Because there's some people I've gotten to know real well, and I'm like, ooh. It turns out the more I know you, the more I know you. That did not better with age i'll tell you what you're actually a shittier person than i thought you were all right you you skipped wine went white to vinegar like you're fucking awful this is awful so tell us about your you you spoke today was it today at the humanism conference what did you talk did you talk about your podcast what did you talk about? So the talk is, I call it Gaytheism 101. And gaytheism, it's obviously just a fun made up

word that's about the intersection of atheists and LGBT issues. But I kind of go through and make the case for why the secular movement and the LGBT movement are natural allies. And it's for obvious reasons, like the religious right is the biggest barrier to LGBT equality, but there are deeper issues too. Like when people are coming out of fundamentalist religion, a lot of times they have the same kinds of identity struggles that people have when they're trying to figure out their sexuality or their gender identity. And cause you know, I started noticing, you know, when I would hear people's deconversion stories, cause I was like a really lukewarm Christian being an atheist was not

a big deal for me ever. But when I would hear people tell their stories of deconversion and how they, you know, how they really struggled and it was a hard thing. And it was like, like you could take all of the religious language out and replace it with LGBT language. And it's the same story and like with the same consequences, the same rewards. Yeah. So it just, it makes sense on so many levels that these movements kind of belong together in my mind. Yeah.

You said something earlier that, that struck me and surprised me. You said that within the LGBT community, when you, when you first sort of got active within it, that there was a lot of proselytizing. And that surprises me because I would have assumed clearly wrongly that because of how poorly LGBT people are often treated by religious folks, that that would push a lot of people away from their religious ideology and there would be a larger segment of LGBT people that are secular than you might find in the broader community. Well, and there are. That's the funny thing. If you look at the numbers, all the surveys that I've seen are like 50-ish percent of the LGBT community identify with no

religion. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, then. But the problem is the groups with all the power and all the money are the faith-based groups. And that's not to say that that's – all of those groups do bad things because there are lots of faith-based organizations that do good work and they save lives and it's valuable stuff. But there are people who don't – who will just never feel welcome in that community because … Well, it's 50 percent. I mean that's a – Right. Exactly. Let me double check, but that's about half.

I mean I'm not real good at this, but that's … that's a fucking – Exactly. Let me double check, but that's about half. I mean, I'm not real good at this, but that's – It's in our bouts. And I was really shocked because the start that we got was very much on the atheist podcasting side of things. So most of our audience is like atheist community folks. So it's kind of focused on allies and education and that kind of stuff. So like it's kind of focused on allies and education and that kind of stuff. And then I started hearing from so many people that are like – like I don't feel like I can participate in my local queer community because they never stop talking about fucking God. Fucking God. Yeah.

Yeah, they fuck God. That was poorly worded. I didn't sleep last night. I kind of feel like God fucks us more than we fuck God. I kind of feel like God fucks us more than we fuck God. So yeah, it's really cool to hear because just knowing that there are other people talking about this thing that you are, it's really validating. And it's like, wow, maybe I'm not the only one. Maybe I'm not alone. And it's crazy how much that can do for you just to realize like, wow, okay, there are other people out here having this conversation and who recognize that I exist.

It's kind of a big deal. Now, you had said you started to work with more and more atheists. Now, as you work with more and more atheists, do you run into any that are homophobic or transphobic? Oh, yeah. Oh, should we? So yes, the answer is yes. Definitely.

Sounds like. Uh-huh. Huh. There's's there's like i'll just go and put my finger on this nerve here i will say in my experience the people who are involved in in real life atheist activism so like the people who run the organizations who set up the conventions and and do like real work are some very, very amazing people. Like if they would break a sweat doing it. Right. Yeah, that's exactly it.

All right. Just double-checking. It's international. I mean, I break a sweat waking up in the morning. I've seen some people that can break a sweat typing. I've seen those people. Yeah. All right. You got me there. The thing is, this fucking sausage fingers

way a ton no no no no they they break a sweat talking into the dragon microphone the thing is like honestly like you know we have received some pushback i've actually been surprised at how little it's been though yeah you send us hate mail it would be so entertaining we don't get any hate mail you're talking about coming out as a as a trans person before you came out as a trans person did you know you were trans or were you did you were you taught this by traveling trans carnies how is it that you knew she probably went into a bathroom and it was the wrong bathroom that's exactly what happened. They'll teach you in places.

It was probably the sex ed in kindergarten, right? They teach you all about society. Sure. You know what? I told you I went to a bathroom the other day and two women walked into the bathroom and I might be a woman now. I'm not really sure. Wow.

The thing is the trans is contagious. You're looking pretty good over there, Tom. What's up, baby? What's up? What's up? The trans is contagious. You both have it now. Tag your trans.

Yes! You got it. You know so much more about this than you think you do. Good job. I've got to raid my wife's closet. Nothing's going to fit. She weighs 100 pounds less than me. It's also supportive jesus man these pants were not made for penis i've never felt so alive so um yes uh

yes yes it was trans carnies yes trans carnies okay no i um i i kind of knew i kind of knew when i was when i was about 10 or when i was in fifth grade however old you are so it's like around puberty yeah exactly it's like licking then yeah basically like when yeah it's like okay so i get it yeah see like you claim to be ignorant about these issues but you keep like it's the first full moon after you hit puberty but so you know puberty happens and there's hormones and like obviously puberty is weird for everyone because puberty is fucking weird. Like that's just how it is. I'm still waiting for it to settle down. I'll tell you what.

I'm just like, when is this going to stop? When is this going to stop? I'm going through it right now. I'm 24. This makes every decision so much more complicated. Pretty soon you'll be getting hair in funny places and noticing girls. I'm 38. I'm getting hair in funny places.

My ears. That's the problem. You've got my phone number. You've got my phone number if you need support in this process. Just let me know. I'm here for you. But yeah, so I just – the way that my body was changing didn't feel right. And, you know, I just, I kind of identified like the way that the girl's bodies were changing

is like, wait a minute, like that's what's supposed to be happening to me. And like, I mean, obviously this is like on a very kid level of understanding. I didn't know what the word transgender meant or anything like that. Uh, but I, I remember like it, it kind of just came to a head. Like when I was, i was my friend that i normally ate lunch with wasn't there so i was just kind of hanging out by myself and i like and like it was just it was stewing in my head and i literally like i had to say it out loud i was like i was supposed to be a girl and then i was like fuck what the hell is wrong with me

and and and that's the the fear the shame the denial that like everybody's gonna think something's terribly wrong with me if I tell them this, that kind of stuff. Ari, what's your story with that? So I am non-binary, which if you are not familiar with that term, just basically means you don't identify as male or female. So my trajectory was kind of, I guess, a strange one as opposed to the normal binary trans person trajectory that, you know, there's a whole narrative that, like, trans people are born in the wrong body or that they, like, know from a really young age that their body is wrong and that they were supposed to be a certain way.

I didn't necessarily think that. I just felt like I was just a really weird girl who didn't relate to other girls very well. And it wasn't until i got into college and i met someone who identified as genderqueer which is basically the same thing as non-binary pretty much and i was like what the heck is that and i googled it i was like holy shit that's me it explains so much you realize you're fucking the narrative up for everyone you know i'm sorry i need more explanation

explain like i'm fine man and i don't mean any disrespect i just honestly want to understand like i i don't i can't you can't help i don't know just the whole idea of gender just doesn't make sense to me it's just like people are people to me i just i don't see myself as like being in this certain group of people based on my physical characteristics or anything or this other group of people. I'm just a human being. Think of it like this. So basically every area of human behavior is a spectrum, right? People are really comfortable with binaries, but binaries basically don't exist.

I mean they exist, but the story is never black or white or completely one-sided. Almost anyone who's straight is maybe going to be a little bit gay. You know what I mean? Tom's like, what are you doing, Tom?

He's got the wide eyes. I'm on the market. You got the wide eyes. I'm on the market. My wife would kill me. So, you know, it's a spectrum. So gender is a spectrum just like sexuality is a spectrum. It's not just this or this.

There are so many different ways of being. Right. Most people identify. I'm just trying. I know. I'm trying like hell, buddy. You know what? It's awesome. I'm really trying.

It's like introducing my 76-year-old dad to a gay friend. He's like, you what? I'm trying so hard. I tried so hard. Actually, the best reaction that I ever got to that was – so there's a Republican lawmaker in the Ohio State Legislature that's trying to write a bathroom bill. And he stated publicly that he's like, yeah, I welcome discussion from the trans community. So I sent him an email not expecting that I was going to get a response. And like two hours later, he's like, yeah, let's go get coffee.

I'll buy. I'm like, fuck,, he's like, yeah, let's go get coffee. I'll buy. I'm like, fuck, okay. Free coffee. Yeah, let's do it. And so I'm emailing all my senators. I'll get an extra shot at that fucking thing. Well, somebody pointed out to me, like, he's a state lawmaker, so ultimately I bought the coffee.

That's awesome. Fucking gold. That's amazing. Explaining that to him was the best thing ever. Because it was me and my friend Jonah, who is a trans man. So we were representing the sides of the binary. And we're explaining the idea. Like, you know, some people don't identify strongly on one side or the other.

And he sits back in his chair. And he's just like, it was like – it's like – what is it? The computer from War Games where you're like – you ask it a question and it can't compute the answer. I feel that way right now. I-O-error. I-O-error. I-O-error. Like what? Well, you mentioned the bathroom, Bill.

So I do want to talk about this for a second. So I was listening. It's our fucking favorite topic. I know. Gosh, it's got to be at this point. So first I got to ask, where did you use the washroom before they cared what was that i i pretty much always use the women the women's right yeah and they didn't care and nobody fucking mentioned anything right uh i don't know i got some some looks and comments but like nothing that was like destroying my life or anything.

They didn't call in the Gestapo to come drag you out and look at your birth certificate. Right. But in fairness, that kind of thing has happened to people. Oh, yeah. My trans guy friend, actually, one of the reasons that he wanted to meet with that lawmaker with me was because he had been assaulted in the bathroom twice. Jesus. Yeah, and he tried to report it to because it happened on a college trans man so he went into a men's room right and and this like physical transition

wasn't all the way there so it was like and and like he had come out to this person as trans and like this person like had a problem with it they happened to run into each other in the bathroom and he like blocked the bathroom door and was like and you know basically beat the crap out of him what jesus yeah over a bathroom yeah and so he goes to the campus police because this happened on a college campus and the campus police says wait a minute you were where you better drop this before i put before i uh bring charges against you wait what what do you talk like unless somebody's pooing on me i don't care at at all. And then I'm just like, come on. I didn't pay extra for this. I don't know what kind of tip you expect.

I mean it's warm. Get a Clorox wipe or something. So we were urged recently to listen to a Joe Rogan podcast that had Gary Johnson on it who's a libertarian candidate. And I just listened to the podcast. And during the podcast, Joe Rogan had mentioned that the North Carolina bill, he was sort of talking with this Gary Johnson guy and he had said the North Carolina bill, he was kind of falling on the side of the North Carolina bill. He had said something like, well, what they want.

He's had some really shitty things to say about it. Absolutely. Absolutely. No, no, no. I'm not saying that at all. And actually he's completely wrong about what I'm going to tell you right now. So what he said was he was telling Gary Johnson. He's like, oh, well, you know what they want them to do in North Carolina is not it's not about the bathrooms.

Instead, they want them to change their birth certificate. That's the big thing. They want them to change their birth certificate. They want them to have some some sort of commitment to the gender that they are before they do it. some sort of commitment to the gender that they are before they do it. And the problem with that is, the problem with that is, is that it's, and he makes it off to seem like you could just walk into any like a DMV and

be like, Hey, I'm a, I'm a chick now. Is there any way you could write that in there? The problem is, is that in North Carolina, no,

you need a doctor's note that said they did surgery. I looked this up. They have to, you have to present a doctor's note. So most States that allow you to change the gender marker on your birth certificate require surgery. A surgery, yeah. And there are five states that won't change it for any reason under any circumstances. What, even if you don't have the stuff that you started with?

Yep. You got different stuff. Yep. Well, what about if you're somebody who doesn't identify either way? Can I just get a question mark? I wish. I would love him a question mark. But not applicable.

They'd be like, sorry, only the riddler can go to the bathroom like gender pass what no i don't it's like that spongebob episode where he goes to what's the name of that town he gets on the bus and he goes to that different town and it's like all these weird alien fish creatures and one of the bathrooms is a question mark and the other bathroom is an upside down question mark that'm so comfortable here i curl up into the fetal position and just cry i already wet them i i but uh it's one of those things that that people will say they'll just pass it off and say oh well, well, they're doing it for a reason. There's a reason that they're doing it. And the reason what they're doing it

is to stir up shit because nobody cared before. They're the ones making the laws to stop it, not the other way around. And now these laws have to come into place to protect the freedom that was already there before. Well, the thing is,

so they're pissy because they lost the marriage equality fight. Yeah, right. That's exactly right. It's the next thing down on the run, right? Who else can I beat up on? Exactly. Who is even more vulnerable than gay people?

Right, right. It's like the senior beats up the junior and the junior is like, no, not again. Then you're like, fucking all right, I'll beat up the sophomores. And then the sophomores are like, fuck off, bro. And then you're like, fine, freshman. What do you want me to do? Who do I get to beat up? Where are the kindergartners?

Somebody let me beat somebody up. And the problem is that so many times trans people are very uniquely vulnerable because trans people are like way, way disproportionately affected by poverty, underemployment, unemployment, lack of access to health care, lack of giving a shit by law enforcement. Domestic abuse, mental illness, drug abuse. It goes on and on. You make it sound terrible. Don't ever be trans. Man. Yeah, we need to get you the vaccine.

How hard was it to come out? It was the hardest and most terrifying thing I've ever done in my life. But the thing is, you know, and obviously, you know, I don't want to speak for everyone here. This is my experience. But if I didn't deal with it, it would have ended up killing me, you know. And so it was something that I had to do. And so it was – I mean it was something that I had to do and all of the hardest conversations I've ever had in my life surrounded me coming out and telling my mom, hey, I've been – I've not really been telling you the truth about who I am for the last 28 years. Awkward.

Right. And I don't speak to my grandma or my aunt anymore. I lost a over it oh my gosh you lost a job over it yeah yeah and in a you know in fairness to the company it wasn't because my boss or the people that i worked with had a problem with it it was because they knew my customers wouldn't let me back in their houses ever again uh but yeah i mean you know it's really difficult because this is you know this thing that's been stewing in my head for all of my life up until 28, which I'm 31 now. So it hasn't been that long. And it's like – so in order to confront this, I can't just go tell a therapist or go tell my best friend. Like this is something that I literally have to tell everyone in my life because, I mean, I can't just show up like, like, yeah. So like,

I'm wearing a dress and my name's Callie. Now I'm going to need you to not ask questions. Like you can't do that, you know? And, and so, you know, there's so many unknowns, you know, like my best friends, like my friends and my family, uh, aside from my aunt and my grandma, 100% supportive, but that doesn't mean that they don't have their own feelings about the situation because you know they're like are you going to take hormones and turn into a completely different person or like you know all of these unknowns and like in the time the time they're asking me these questions i'm like i don't know right they're legitimate questions exactly like i think that's fair like i think yeah i think it's fair that there's that there's some legitimate questions

about the logistics and the and like yeah how things are going to change and how those are going to affect relationships that you have in your life. Exactly. One of my best friends sent me a really long message on Facebook one day and he was like, look, I love you. You're one of my best friends. That's never going to change, but I need to talk to you about – I'm struggling with this. And the way that he expressed it is he's like, I almost feel like my friend is committing suicide and I'm being asked to accept this person that kind of looks like my friend and kind of sounds like my friend but may not really be. And in fairness to him, it hurt me that he felt that way, but I was really glad that he was able to share that with said, he's one of my best friends in the world. And we spent a lot of time talking about it. And on the other side, now that it's – I'm years into it and I'm not a completely different person and all that.

I mean he went back and was like, I really feel bad that I ever felt that way. And I'm like, well, I mean the unknown is scary. Like you feel like you're going to lose your best friend. I'd be scared too. Sure, right? I was scared. So yeah, I mean it's a really tough thing and it's, I mean, it's even tougher on a lot of people because, you know, I was lucky enough that the most important members of my family were 100%

behind me and a lot of people aren't that lucky. And, um, I mean, you know, if you look at the attempted suicide rate among, uh, among trans youth, uh, trans youth whose families don't accept and affirm them are eight times more likely to attempt suicide than kids who have accepting families. This is why people cry when they listen to our show. Exactly. No, I'd be crying if I heard that, but I just don't have a heart.

Legitimately, I have friends who told me, I tried to listen to your show and it's a little heavy and I'm like, fair. There was an episode where i literally like when the the bathroom bill thing first like very first started about like a year and a half ago uh you know we did an episode about it and i wasn't even thinking about the episode going this way like i was just like hey there's you know these bills are happening and this is why this is stupid and you know so like we kind of started to get into the discussion of like, well, why are they doing this?

And I kind of had the realization. I was like, wow, they're coming after us next. And all of a sudden I'm fucking mortally terrified for me and for all of my friends in my community that I care about. And I just completely lost my shit while we were recording the show. And I almost stopped recording and I was like, people need to know that this shit is real. Sure.

They need to hear it. I mean I love laughing. I love joking. I love having a good time. I love making humor. But at the end of the day, it's a life and death thing. There are people who are murdered and who are bullied into committing suicide over this stuff.

So it's an important thing for me to put a human face on that so people care and people feel motivated to say, well, what can I do to help? And we've been pretty overwhelmed with the, you know, how can I help? And then I say, okay, here's how you can help. And people actually fucking do it. It's like, it's awesome. I help and then I say, okay, here's how you can help and people actually fucking do it. It's awesome. What? I think we need to talk about glory holes

some more because that was really depressing. Okay, well, let's do it. They exist. That's it. That's all you need to know about glory holes. That's it. I'm tapping out. It's just very confusing. There's like a men's glory hole and a women's glory hole and then there's that question mark.

You're just like, all right, here we go. And on the other side of the wall, it's an upside down question mark. I don't know that we have made it when we have non-binary glory holes. It's like the dum-dum. You don't know what you're going to get when you're unwrapping it. I don't know what's going to happen here. It tastes like feet. Could be butterscotch.

I don't know. I don't know. But I'm going here. It tastes like feet. Could be butterscotch. I don't know. I don't know. But I'm going for it. Some people are into feet. So I wanted to – this is one of those questions that – it's not a question so much as – well, I guess maybe it is. Tom and I conflate and we have in the past conflated cross-dressers and trans people and sometimes it just happens. Like when you're talking about something, we wind up conflating and we always get corrected but can you help correct us what the difference is between someone who is trans and then someone who's like say a cross-dresser what's the difference

what again the thing to think about is that you know everything exists on a spectrum right so it's not like there are cross-dressers who are strictly this and there are i see sure yeah absolutely you know in general though but generally speaking someone who is a cross-dresser is someone who is perfectly comfortable identifying you know as as the gender they were assigned at birth they just like to dress like the opposite sex um and it's you know there's a myriad of reasons um you know some people do it because they get off on it sexually, which is whatever. Um, I had myself convinced for a while that that was why I felt the way that I did. And that's actually a pretty common thing. Um, and then,

you know, there are some people who do it because it just makes them feel comfortable. They will like the way that it looks better. Um, but it's not, it's not necessarily a matter of identity so much as it's a matter of aesthetics. I see. And with trans people, you know, with being trans, it's a matter of identity. It's a matter of who you are. And that can mean changes in your physical appearance or the way that you present, but it doesn't necessarily have to.

It's, you know, there are some people who simply realize like, Hmm, you know what? Like maybe who I am is a little bit more complicated than an M or an F. And like, that's all that, that comes from it. It's, they just realize like, I've, I've learned a little bit more about myself. And then there are people who are, you know, on the opposite side of that, who are like completely changed their presentation, changed their name, you know, have surgeries, get hormones. And, and there's, there's all sorts of space in between. Some people get hormones but don't get surgery. Some people don't even get hormones and just change the way they dress or the way they look.

There's all manner of things in between, if that makes sense. Sure, sure. I have a friend who came out to me as trans in the last year. And he's a – I messed up the pronoun. She's a person who I've known for years, and it's so difficult for me to call her a she because I grew up knowing her as a him, and I've known her as a him for at this point, 35 years. Right. And so, uh, so

it's, it's a very difficult thing. Um, do you find that people that have known you for a long time have problems with that sort of thing? Is it difficult for people? Oh yeah. Yeah. And that's, I mean, I mean, that's, that's, that's human, right? I mean, we I mean we all grow up in a culture that has these really rigid and strict ideas surrounding gender. And it's – I don't think it's fair to expect everyone to be perfect all the time. You know what I mean? I think there is room for us to give a little grace to the people in our lives to make mistakes when they're genuinely trying. And like 100 percent fine with that. And it's, you know, you don't have to, you know, follow up. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Oh my God, I feel so terrible. Because like, and like, I mean, I've had people do that. Sure, sure. People feel really, really bad about it. Which I mean, I appreciate, you know, but it's like kind of making it worse. Like you can say, oh, sorry, correct yourself and move on. Move on. Yeah. And it's – I mean it's an understandable thing. I mean my fucking mom gave birth to me.

Sure. You know what I mean? Sure. What? Is that how that works? Yeah. Oh, you need a book or a picture. I thought trans people came from eggs.

That's how you know. It's an egg one. It's one of the egg ones the thing that i really struggled with is i feel like like i'm not a parent but i i feel like like your name is like a gift that your parents give you you know it's something like this means something to me so i'm going to give this to my child and i felt like a fucking asshole telling my mom like sorry you can't call me the name you gave me anymore. Yeah. You know? And luckily my mom is an amazing person and she's like, no, like this is who you are.

And if this is who you are and this is what makes you happy, like I'll get over whatever problems I have with it. What if you could ask your parents to rename you? Because they did it the first time. Some people do that. Are you kidding? I was fucking around. What? Well, no.

Yes, it's true. Yeah. All right. Here's the deal. Totally going to change i'm you know you've known me as a man i'm gonna be a woman but you gave me a man name now you gotta give me a woman name it's up to you i'm going by it a lot of people ask their parents like what would you have named me if i was a girl yeah i actually did that with my mom because i was because my mom uh i mean I had – I can't this whole conversation. I can't. You are fucking amazing. That's all I'm saying. You are amazing, Tom.

I can just see galaxies swirling behind his eyes. Like an episode of Cosmos. What's going on? I had a stepdad but we never got along. So like I always considered myself the child of a single parent because my mom really was the only parent in my life. And so I was just thinking, what can I do to make this easier on her? And I was like, if she ever had a girl's name picked out – I was like – so when I came out to her, I asked her. I said, if you'd ever had a girl's name picked out for me um i'll i'll

use that name because i i respect you as my mom and you know that a name is a you know a gift that you give to your kid and i want to respect that and that's when i found out that i didn't have a name for three days after i was born i like that because it's like you come you come you're like all right here we go here we go i'm we go. I'm just going to give this. Yeah, we didn't figure that shit out. You know, we had fucking nine months to figure that shit out. And we're like, I need another 72 hours. We just called it the baby.

They probably should have prayed about it more. Maybe it was sort of pressured that they were ambiguous about it. Like, I don't know the name. It's just a baby. I don't fucking know. It's very confusing. So, Cal, if people were going to find your show, where would they look? Don't do it.

Wow. All right. That's what we tell people. I know, right? Get your Kleenex. They're already made it this far. They're going to do it. Okay.

So we're on iTunes. We're hosted on spreaker uh you can go to uh gaytheistmanifesto.secularmediagroup.com so many words yeah i know i know yeah jesus what i figured out the other day is that we we have literally just crossed the threshold where enough people care that if you just Google the Gaytheist Manifesto, all the right stuff comes up. Nice. There you go. I was like, sweet. There are at least three people who care about the show. It's me, you, and Jeremiah.

That's it. Yeah. Pretty soon you'll steal David Smalley's fourth listener. So it would be good. You're tagging it in. Oh, God. Yeah. He'll be so mad Brandy doesn't listen anymore.

And then Pathios just added us on their network. Oh, wonderful. That's great. Wonderful. So, yeah. So that's really, really cool. We're really excited about that. Excellent.

Excellent. Well, thanks so much for joining us, both of you. We really appreciate it. Yeah, thanks for having us. It's been a lot of fun. I liked it. That's the best feedback I've ever had. That's going to wrap it up for this week.

We will be back very soon. But until then, we're going're gonna leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage,

death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers,

birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak,

stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. We'll see you next time.