Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 301: Deep Inside the Gloryhole with Thomas Smith - Part 2

Episode Date: June 23, 2016

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. hey everyone this is the second half of our recording with thomas we recorded last week with th Smith. He flew in and we did our 300th episode, so this is going to be 301, and this will be the second half. Thomas was super generous with his time, wound up recording almost three hours worth of stuff with him. So this is the second part, and we hope you enjoy it. And for the United States of America to put the power of the federal government and all of its money and resources behind this transgender movement, it is just nothing short of insanity. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Daubenmayer, real men would use pitchforks and torches to settle transgender bathroom

debate. Yeah, that's a pitchforks pitchforks. Was there a lot of hay involved in the debate or like, here's how we settle this debate. Who can move the most hay from here to over there? And it's not very well lit. So I hope you brought your torches.

Here's the thing guys, shirtless. That's all I'm saying. You got to move it shirtless. is fucking frankenstein in the bathroom is that what we're worried about all right this is uh this is he's on a show he's on talk back with chuck wilder and uh this is that dobbin meyer guy talk real quick i want to say i know it's frankenstein's monster don't send me a fucking email. Don't send it.

What would our forefathers have done? What would they have done two generations ago? They would have cleaned up their audio. I'll tell you what. They would have gotten closer to the microphone. Jesus Christ. Two generations ago? Is that what he said?

Our forefathers two generations ago. He's clearly recording inside a bee like you can hear such a two generations doesn't even get you past the before the 1900s a generation 25 years so so it's like yeah it's like how old does he think the country is they were like flower children. Four fathers in the mid-80s. If the President of the United States tried to tell them to let men walk into their kids' bathrooms, what would they have done, Chuck? They wouldn't have had fucking separate bathrooms. They didn't have fucking toilets. Can you speak louder into your phonograph?

I can't quite. They didn't have, like he already is mixed up. It's like 1776. Do you think there's a fucking. He's from the past. That's why. That's why we're hearing him from the past. He's recording 1830.

He's like, oh shit, I just gave that away. Addison, can you record me? All right, all right. Mic check. Four score, four score, four score. That's what I'm talking about. It's time to man up. There would have been pitchforks and torches.

They'd have gone downtown and they'd have gotten things straightened out. They would say, we need that committee that was talking to the Salem witches. What the fuck? That's your solution? You're bringing up the Salem witch hunt as a good example. Let's go back to those days. That was how we

should carry out justice. You guys remember when you used to tar and feather a man just for looking at your girl wrong? Oh, those was the good old days. You got like burden of proof, innocent until proven guilty, evidence, all that shit. I remember when you could just put a big heavy oak door and some rocks on a man and make him confess.

Yeah, it was five years ago. I mean, it was a lot of years ago. This man from the past. To come back here, because I think we found another one in the form of, well, it wouldn't be, is a witch female or male? Witch is a male, I believe. I don't know. Whatever, doesn't matter. What was that? What just happened there?

I don't know. He doesn't know if witches are male or female? Are they trying to make a joke about transgenderism there? Are they? Is that a joke? Well... That's what passes for a joke? Nothing is better than listening to conservative Christian shows and hearing what passes for jokes. It's all this.

It's all this. It's a bad joke. I can't even hear it. It's all guys that don't know that the other person is joking and then says some stupid shit. And then they explain it and then it's not funny. And then it's not funny. Guys, guys. Oh, no.

I lost you. Salem, they were females. What would they have done? What's wrong with us, Chuck? How are we so specified that we were, that daddies are going to let perverts violate their daughters' restrooms? Pardon my French. What the hell is wrong with us?

What, was any of that French? Oh, he's about to say hell, that's why. Do you think he's listening to the radio with one of those big tube things that goes out the ear like the big horn that's how i picture this guy listening to this radio i i actually see him communicating with the host through like one of those ricola horns like that's how i see him i'll tell you what's wrong coach and i've always i've said it's it's a the major problem Number one, political correctness. All right.

That's the fucking biggest problem in the world. That is the main problem. Of all the problems we've got to fix, political fucking correctness. Political correctness. That's why everyone's voting for Trump is political correctness. That makes me so stabby feeling. And number two is insisting on diversity. Why?

What? Well, how do you insist on it? It's just here. Like, you don't have to insist. Like, I insist upon molecules. They're just fucking around. Did you know that Target goes through applications for who can enter Target? And they're like, hmm, we need more transgender people to enter Target.

Oh, no, never mind. There's just doors. I forgot. There's just doors. And then you go in the door. I forgot that's how Target worked for a sec. There's just doors. I forgot. There's just doors, and then you go in the door. I forgot that's how Target worked for a sec. There's a screening process. Yeah.

A screen door. Nice. And you know, if you ever get into Agenda 21. What the what? Oh, yeah, dude. It's fucking... Now he's fucking... He's rabbit holing now.

Agenda 21. Oh, is that Forever 21? No. They also have transgender bathrooms. It's the lizards. Yeah. Agenda 21 is like some of that conspiracy theory shit also have transgender bathrooms. It's the lizards. Yeah, Agenda 21 is like some of that conspiracy theory shit. It's like, yeah. I literally thought he was calling the store Forever 21 Agenda 21.

You're an idiot. That's why. Oh, you're putting this past. So you're putting this past conservatives to do that, to make a name. Oh, fuck you. Oh, fuck you. Ask conservatives to do that, to make a name. Oh, fuck you.

Oh, fuck you. You know, they've already written the rules under Obama where they're looking at communities that are saying, well, we're going to build these houses. All right. We'll tear down these things, these houses. They got to be close to the city, not out in the country where the land, you know, we're going to take over that land. But anyway. Can this guy finish a fucking sentence? Jesus Christ. Maybe something. Can this guy finish a fucking sentence? Jesus Christ. A thought maybe?

Something? Can he be coherent in any reasonable way? Thought experiment, guys. You 100% agree with everything that guy's saying. How quickly do you jump off a fucking ledge when you hear him talking? It doesn't even matter. I could agree with everything he's saying. I already slit my wrist and jumped off a building just to be safe.

I would shoot myself with a shotgun on the way down just to be sure. Just in case. Just to be sure I didn't survive it. You can't be too careful. Right. You can't be too careful. And it's got to be, you have to have X amount of Chinese, black, white.

I'm sure we got to get the Syrians in there now. Fucking, what are you saying? chinese is the first thing that comes to mind he's like what's a diverse thing uh chinese he's just gonna name so take out food first you gotta get them jews then the spics then the chinks you know you sort of mix them all up down there. Meanwhile, the guy was asking, how many more minutes are on this fucking ancient 1800s

phone that I have? I don't have time for this spiel. Diversity. We've got to and I'm telling you, it is scary. What would be, even if that were true, wait a minute, even if that were true, what would be scary about a neighborhood that had a diverse population? You'd be like, whoa, wait a minute, I if that were true, what would be scary about a neighborhood that had a diverse population?

Be like, whoa, wait a minute. I'm driving through a neighborhood that's got Chinese people. Well, clearly you've never seen Chinese people because that is a scary experience. No, it's not. They're just people people. You'd be like, oh, man. It's scary. You know, let America be America without any prejudice, and it should work perfectly.

What the what? America without any prejudice and it should work perfectly. What the what? I see three confused faces because I can actually see my own face right now because I'm that confused. What the fuck does that even mean? I don't understand what he's

saying. I don't understand his point. Is he saying that by his assertion, which I don't believe is true, but his assertion there are neighborhoods that insist on a certain number of Chinese people and Syrian people. Okay, fine. So – but we have –

What is it? The condo association rules? And now – and that is making us more – but we're not prejudiced. We're not a racist nation, and that would have been okay. But now we've got problems because there's Chinese people in our Syrian neighborhoods. They're like, what the fuck? What is happening? I don't understand what he's talking about.

The other guy. I hope the other guy agrees with him. I really do. I hope the other guy agrees and says, oh, yeah, it's a real problem in America, Chuck. Let's find out, I guess. Because, Chuck, you understand, again, I hate to keep doubling back or circling back. But it's important that we understand. See, America was built as a Christian nation, Christian principles.

We taught that to our children in school. We had the Bible in school. We had prayer in the school. And then in 1947, Everson first board of education. We removed God. 1961, we took prayer out. 1963, we took the Bible reading out. At a certain point, we stopped lynching black people.

It's all been downhill. And, you know, it's only been been like, what, 50 years since then. Well, and look at all the horror show shit that's followed since then. People clearly are, well, actually just statistically much better off. Yeah, pretty much much better off. I thought you were going to make a joke about how many generations that is. I want to hear this guy do the generation math. And so, Chuck, it's been a steady decline into humanism ever since that.

It's reached a point today where Christian men and Christian women have been convinced that they should just follow the edicts of ungodly government. And as we see right now today, the son of Satan himself has seized the White House. I'm not calling him the Antichrist, but certainly. You just did. You just did. He not calling him the Antichrist, but certainly... I'm not calling him Antichrist. You just did. He's related to the Antichrist. I'm just saying. Isn't that the Antichrist or whatever?

I don't know if it's the son of Satan. I like how he backs down on that. Well, he is the son of Satan. I mean, he's more like a second cousin of Satan. I don't want to go on and on here. You know, he's at the family barbecue, but nobody really talks to him. You know, he's a little weird. The spirit of Antichrist is at work in him,

and we see the devil's kids are mandated as... How many does he have? How many kids does the devil have? He's got one in every area code, man. That devil. Fuck. Dude gets around. Jesus fucking...

I'll tell you what, they garnished the fuck out of his wages, though. Rules and regulations that God's children have to follow. brother my bible tells me at some point we got to stand up and we have to resist that i don't i don't even know what to do with all of that what do you even do with all that fucking yib yab satan's fucking kids are in power and god's children are totes upset about it and wait what i mean what was the original point again? Diversity. Diversity is the problem? We're back to Chinese people in the wrong neighborhood? I think the original problem, Tom,

was that there was diversity 50 years ago, which is two generations. And now we can't read the Bible? The forefathers were calling in on their cell phones from 1960. My brain. That's why, because he had one of those huge cell phones from the 60s.

Like this big. It's like the size of a TV. You've got to hold it to the side of your face. It's like holding a laptop up to your head. It's in a bag. Yeah. It's his cell phone. If you leave it on in your car,

you can't start it later. Your alternator blows up. No, his cell phone is a whole room. The entire room has to be... You have to feed cards into it to call someone. He has a staff that mans his cell phone. I honestly did not understand at all

what his point was. That's because he was calling from the past. So it's real hard to understand. Did you get it? No, I didn't. Did you get it? No. It had something to do with diversity. I know that, but that's as close as I go. Man, there's times that I say things that I know are true, and this is one of them. So this story comes from Right Wing Watch, and this is Glenn Beck. More profound insights.

Glenn Beck, parting the Red Sea was God's empire state building. This is amazing. I listened to this earlier. It's really, really funny. I want to show you how important it is that we understand who's really in charge. The lizards. Oh, are we off that? We're past that.

I love his – okay, so he's got a bigger sort of waddle chin that's underneath, and then he's got like a smaller chin that sort of sits on it. Like he has a wedding cake of chins. Yes, that's his chinny chin chin. Yeah, he's got like a whole group of them. It's like a gaggle of chins or whatever. He's basically the Billy Goat Gru a whole group of them it's like a gaggle of chins or whatever he's basically the billy goat it's like it's like a it's like a gaggle of gobblers he's got a spare chin i want to see i don't know if you've ever seen it people take hulk hogan

have you ever seen that the the image where hulk hogan is superimposed on his own chin and then he's superimposed again on his own chin and it hurts your eyes to look at you like, oh, my eyes, because your brain sees all these eyes. It's Hulk's all the way down. It's crazy. I want to see somebody do that with this guy's face. Oh, man, that's great. What is more impressive, the Empire State Building

or the parting of the Red Sea? Does he know how old the Empire State Building is? We've got better buildings. This is not even... That's true, right? Like, why would you pick that one, right? He's like, what's more impressive, a floppy disc, or it's like,

dude, we've already done better than that. Or the parting of the Red Sea. Parting of the Red Sea. Why? What's the right answer? What's the right answer, guys? It's that teacher in class when the teacher tries to get you to answer the question.

Everyone's just like, why does he want us to say? Fucking Red Sea. Fucking Thomas, did you read this? No? Okay, just answer whatever, whatever dude i'd be like yeah i read it uh uh party uh parting of the red sea yeah no i read it i i love when the teacher asked that it's clearly a fucking rhetorical question and that's the question you're like fine i know the answer there's a parting in the red i know you want to hear it there's a silence

where everyone is like does he fucking i gotta say it i gotta fucking say it someone's that's not the answer all right fine i do it's not that's not the answer, though. Fine, I do. It's not, though. That's not the answer, I don't think. I think it's the Empire State Building. Oh, yeah. We'll see. Okay. Because it's a miracle.

But God himself, if you look at the way... What? Is he in a third grade class? What is this? He's in front of his audience. There's like seven people. So there's second grade education. So this is their third grade.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Answered that. In Jewish tradition, oral history, how the Red Sea was swept up, it stood up as a wall, but it was God using the wind to push it into a wall. Who cares what he uses? Look at Thomas. He's so mad.

He's so mad. That's the best face. That's the best. who would care if he reached out with his fucking hand and held it like that make that make any difference he could have constructed a dam it's the same thing it's all a miracle it is it's all magic right it's magic it doesn't matter if it's fucking like chopsticks from space wind made the fucking entire mass of the Red Sea stand straight up. Why not?

It's fucking magic wind. It's real, real, real, real. I love how he started that. I want somebody to go on AskScience on Reddit to find out how fast the wind has to go to hold up the mass of the sea. And would it destroy everything in the middle? Sure.

Like there's this thousands of miles an hour wind. And didn't they just destroy it? They walked through it, right? They walked through it, right? They had to walk by it. They're like, ah, he's parted the sea for us. Let's go.

And wouldn't it just out in the – Wouldn't it generate a tremendous amount of heat and friction? It would be like this boiling plasma that's basically – All their clothes just flop off and everyone's like... It's like that scene from Terminator where you just like melt off your own bones. It's like those gopher suits that people wear where they fly with them.

They're all in their togas. They're like, woof, woof, woof, woof. Just taking off like fucking Chinese kites. What the fuck? I got a question. Does he think we couldn't do this if we wanted to? We could probably do something close to this, like, by now. What, part a sea? Yeah, we could fucking...

There's canals all the time. We do this shit. We part seas. Panama Canal. That didn't exist until the humans were like, I want to fucking ride my ships through there faster than the month it takes me to get around. I don't know anything about anything. I love it you use

it as an example though keep going double down buddy we we could do this if we wanted to he picked a building that's not impressive anymore it's dude just and even if not now a hundred years from now you don't think we're going to be able to do things way cooler than anything you're describing here how about the internet dude how about the fucking internet it's the greatest thing ever created it's better than every miracle oh a burning bush that doesn't quite go out i guess that's fucking amazing i guess that's a little better than the fucking internet what a moron somebody once one time we thought he was dead and then he woke back up that's way better than that's not better than the internet yeah i don't give a fuck if that guy dies i don't

care yeah that versus on-demand pornography like i have a telephone full of pornography name me one miracle they can trump that there Not close. There's nothing in your remote with us. Not even close. Right? Okay? The wind came all night and pushed it off into a path, and so it stood up. Fine, I'll get up. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

That's the worst. That's the worst explanation. That's worse than just being like, God is magic, and he looked at it and went, Like God is magic and he looked at it and went. Seriously, that's the worst explanation for the fucking power. Red Sea Party. What is the logic behind this? So God can control the atoms in the wind, but he can't just control the atoms in the ocean and just move them to the side.

It's easier for him to control a million atoms, a jillion atoms in the side. It's easier for him to control a million atoms, a jajillion atoms in the wind. I gotta make these atoms hit these other atoms. I still have to use some element of physics in order for my magic to work, right? It doesn't even make sense on its own terms. It's like a wizard fight, but instead of just atomizing you,

I make a hammer appear and bonk you on the head. It's like using a Star Trek phaser. It's like using a Star Trek phaser but then you phased a cliff above the guy and then it fell on him.

It's all chandeliers. God's creating an amazing Rube Goldberg device. There's a mouse trap that comes down and catches a mouse and it spins a wheel to blow the wind. Marbles and shit rolling around. Hits a giant bellows to lift the sea up. A shoe tips over into a can of the birds of Rofan. So he was just taking the elements and making something new out of it.

Empire State Building. Taking the elements, us, and just making something different. God took the elements that we already had and just made something a little different. The Red Sea was still just the Red Sea. The Red Sea wasn't any different. It was just shaped different. And it's water. Water just is shapey.

Nobody's excited. You can make water any shape. Just pour it into that same nobody's excited like you can make water any shape just pour it into that same vessel like you make water to any fucking shape that's kind of water's thing i seriously don't know what he's talking about though like he's lost what is this even if once again to do my hypothetical again pretend you're the biggest fucking glenn beckman right you're like everything this guy says is true i love him what the fuck is he talking about i'm serious like i'm dying to high five you i just don't know what the fuck you're talking about yeah i got my wallet out like well i'll just

i'll give you money for that like what is this i don't know I have no idea. Okay, that's God's Empire State Building. What's more important? Taking the Red Sea and parting it or making an atom with the nucleus and the electron? What is required for the other he's got this great picture though that looks like it looks like an like a i don't know like a tit and a vagina on the screen right now i i that's what it looks like to me i don't know i'm interested yeah go to about 120 if you want to see it at home taking something you can't build it because where does it come from came from nothing it came from absolutely nothing nothing. It's more important. It's

more shocking. It's more revolutionary. Instead of just reorganizing stuff and making the empire building, it's much more incredible to take something that was nothing, no elements, and making it. Man can't do that. Point to that. Point to where that is in the universe right now. Point to where that is. Point to where there's nothing and it turns into something. Point to where there's no atom and then there's an atom. Because I don't think that's a thing, right?

Well, yeah, not in the way he's saying. Because people always say, well, this happens in quantum vacuums all the time. Oh, no, that's not nothing. That doesn't count. Oh, okay. Well, what's the nothing then? Did that happen? Did that exist? Do you know that? Oh, well, we know it because God made that from nothing. Oh, okay. So because you believe that God made something from nothing, that's how you know the nothing exists, which proved that only

God can do that. Oh, okay. Good. We've got some good circular logic for everybody thank you for that when you look at anything in your life my life has been um the last few years i've tried to build some things and if i take my eye off it it falls apart wait what cut smash cut to a scene of his woodchopper, just the shittiest fucking little toys that are Like bird hubs or something. He's got a bird hub. He's got nothing but like fucking janky fucking nails sticking out of it. And he's got a hold of it. He's holding it as hard as he can and then he lets go and he goes.

There's already a dead bird in it. Just like fucking. A bird tried to go in it just died. And the bird flies and it collapses on the bird like a fucking shirt factory in Bangladesh. Like a fucking patio in Chicago or whatever.

He tried to help his kid build a soapbox car and his kid's like, no, dad, I got it. The thing you built me has square wheels. It doesn't even... I'll just run down the hill. Son, it's wind powered and god controls the wind because what we were trying to do what we are trying to do is a little revolutionary it's different the harder things are god can look at the water but it pretty much

stays the same but if he wants it to stack up he's got to be there the whole time pushing the wind pushing the wind pushing the wind pushing the wind what what is he taught is he getting to a larger is this a metaphor i don't know is this a metaphor for the act of creation or what i don't what is this a metaphor for god it really helps uh people doing revolutionary stuff that's what the metaphor that's his metaphor eventually yeah oh jesus then he doesn't have to change anything he just has to stop the wind and it goes back to its natural state. Right? Well, that's changing something.

That's stopping what you're fucking doing. Sure. That's change. When we're not paying attention to things, when we want to do a revolution, we better stay in all the time. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Because if you let go and you turn your face, it goes back to its natural space. It finds, just like water water the path of least resistance holy shit that was his metaphor that was what he was going like 70 minutes that was his whole thing

oh when someone asks like hey do you want to give a motivational speech about staying politically active the next question should be oh yeah how much should i do on parting the red sea and the creation of How does that have any fucking thing to do with it Okay before I do this do you like the Empire State Building or not Podcasters They live in squalor Destitute and disenfranchised

Eeking out an existence As best they can In such desolate places As Chicago In pairs But otherwise alone as best they can in such desolate places as Chicago. In pairs, but otherwise alone, they suffer from hunger and thirst, barely making it day to day on store-brand chicken wings and weak domestic beer.

In the arms of the angel, fly away from here. From this dark, cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. But now you can help. For just a few dollars a podcast, pennies a day, you can give them the restaurant-style chicken wings and imported beer that they so desperately need. For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can make a difference in their lives,

allowing them the opportunity to rant unfettered as nature intended. Please go to patreon.com backslash dissonance pod today, make a pledge, and help these poor, innocent creatures

lead a life worth living. This is also from Right Wing Watch. Mark Heven, God and Donald Trump inspired me to talk about 9-11 truth. The Bible says that if we don't speak the truth, the rocks are going to cry out. The rocks are

going to cry out? This guy's voice is so deep. Are they going to cry out? You fuck me, I fuck me. Couldn't we test that theory pretty quickly? Don't we test that theory regularly around here? Tom has a big dick. See, the rocks didn't cry out.

Oh, wait, that could be true. No, okay. I just have a compulsion to. I don't want to hear what this is. Whatever he's going to say is his compulsion. I don't want to, what this is whatever he's gonna say is this compulsion i don't want to guys i'm taking off my headphones to to be obedient to god and in the truth and i thought he said to beat in it i didn't think he said i didn't think he said obedient at first i thought he said to beating it and i was like guys fucking obedient he's a fucking sub all right Yeah, exactly. This was a really important event because Ted Cruz had convinced people.

That he was human. Not well, though. Not well. Clearly, that's why he failed. He had slept for a reasonable amount of time. It's so good. It's so good. It really is great that he was one of us and that uh and he had maintained that in spite of this obvious the pile of evidence that he was not human so i i felt led by the holy spirit to to speak boldly the truth about that.

But this ministry that... What is your actual job? It's not speaking. What is your job? I mean, for fucking real, what is your actual job? I think he's the guy who stacks the crates in the back. Holy shit. And they just put a suit on him.

This guy cannot. He simply can't. Whatever he's trying to do right now is the face the fucking most utter and complete failure at communicating he has not one idea yet not one not one idea has flopped from this fucking big jolly fucking head give him a minute jesus but two it gets its support in its audience. He actually does sound like, like Charlie Brown's dad. He sounds like a cartoon seals voice.

His voice bottoms out the microphone of his lyrics. He's the whole time he's balancing a ball on his head. Throw him a sardine in the middle of speaking. Hey kids, I'm going to teach you about the environment. The majority of them were pretty emotionally invested in Cruise. So my baldness was really quite minor. What was that? His baldness is minor?

Wait a minute. His balls are minor? What's minor? My balls. He has a hard time with words that sound like my balls. My balls. My bulbous. My bulbous. What did he say?

My bulbous are minor? His boldness. Oh, my God. My bulbousness. That's amazing. He can't consonant. Compared to your boldness. Let's compare

baldnesses. Hey, everyone get out their baldness. I gotta listen to both these baldnesses again. At a party, we all compared baldnesses. Kids, it's okay if someone tells you to get out your baldness.

Don't tell your parents, though. It's our little secret. You want a popsicle? All right, we're going to listen to him say bulbous twice here. So, my boldness is... He slurs the whole back half of that word. Hold on, hold on. He says it twice.

He says it twice. There's another one coming up. Really quite minor compared to your baldness. I mean, you talk about that. Did he say my baldness is minor compared to Jim Baker's baldness? Because Jim Baker's baldness is major. It's major. So to risk offending the majority of your audience by telling them something that they don't really want to hear.

I almost can't hear this guy. It's like anything you say is something don't really want to hear. I almost can't hear this guy. It's like anything you say is something someone doesn't want to hear. No one wants to hear that voice. If you played this guy in a car, your trunk would rattle. This is like the kind of stuff you would play on a speaker if a woman wanted to sit on it to get on it. That's boldness. on a speaker if a woman wanted to sit on it to get on it.

That's boldness. I'm pleased that God would find some usefulness in me in speaking the truth. And I tell you, we're at a time now where we all agree that things are speeding up. Except for your voice and your fucking tempo. Way to slow things down, dude. Holy shit. They're becoming manifested more easily, more readily.

This whole idea of Trump giving us permission to speak freely. We didn't have the permission to speak freely before Trump. And actually, you have to walk up to him and salute him first and say, permission to speak freely, sir! And actually, you have to walk up to him and salute him first and say, Permission to speak freely, sir! And then he gives you permission. He takes his tiny, short little fingers and he gives you a salute.

He gives you the oompa-loompa salute? It's kind of a half salute. And I'm going to get in trouble for this. You may want to edit what I'm about to say. But you want to hear what I'm about to say, right? Yeah, four of us say yes. Not only can we speak freely, but we can ask those questions that were politically incorrect. And I'm going to give you one that's very, very unsettling, very uncomfortable. You know, how does a building in New York that hasn't even hit by an airplane fall to the ground at the speed of gravity okay i'm just saying i want to be

free to ask these questions you're free to ask it you just fucking you just got to recognize that fucking if you ask a dumb question people may make fun of you also don't ask it with that voice what happened to building seven guys hey guys i just want to know what happened to Building 7, guys? Hey, guys, I just want to know what happened to Building 7. You know the fact that my bulbous is out right now. Hey, that bulbous building was Building 7. I'm going to zip my pants and get my bulbous out and ask you this question. I'll make it talk. It's puppetry of the penis.

Okay. How does a hole in a pentagon that's allegedly hit by an airplane have no wings? How does a hole have wings? Do holes normally have wings? Do bulbuses have wings? I don't know. I love that. I love that when people are like, where's the wing holes?

You know how fucking thin the wings are on a plane? The wings are fucking tiny. And they just disintegrate. It just breaks up. They just disintegrate. How is it allegedly? Fucking people saw the airplane. It's not something that maybe happened.

I'm a jet pilot. Wings don't vaporize. There's no luggage in the yard. And by the way, it's the most surveilled building on the planet, and there's no video. I'm just wanting to ask some questions. That's bullshit, because there was video. There's video. Yeah.

But you know, his voice does make a lot more sense when you imagine he's talking through his penis, that he's doing a voice. Sure. So he's gotten, I think you're onto something with the puppetry of the penis. He's like, hey, I'm Mr. Penis. Let me explain building 17. Hey, kids. It's Mr. Boldness.

Lotion up, kids. Donald Trump has given us permission to speak freely, to ask these questions that the government is not telling us. These questions have been being asked since 2001 and they've just been asked and they've been answered. Nobody is like, oh, you can't ask these questions. Fucking documentaries have been made. People have gone on fucking circuits. Books have been written.

Fucking Alex Jones made a career out of it. What are you talking about? Like we had to wait for Donald Trump to what? To reignite a debate that's long since passed? Yeah, it's just like the truther debate. I got a question for you. I feel free to ask it now. Sometimes I spill water and I leave and I come back

and it's not there anymore. I feel free to ask this question, guys. Where'd it go? Went into my bulbous. It's like, there's obvious fucking answers, you moron. We're gonna get some truther emails, though, about this.

We get these on occasion. I'm always shocked. I'm always shocked at the people who are like, hey, guys, it's not completely 100%. Hey, guys, there are no bulbuses in Tower of Time. Okay, look, here's the deal. You give me some real honest proof, and I'm willing to hear your side of the story, but I haven't seen a bit of it. It's all jib-jab. I haven't seen a bit of it.

Now, what building are you talking about that fell in New York? Yeah. There was two big buildings, and there was another building. Building number seven. And the only damage from building number seven was that the fuel caught the furniture on fire. No. What the fuck are you talking about? That's not true.

Caught the furniture on fire. It's not true. It's not true. But even just listening to the words he used. Yeah, there's huge holes in that building. But it's also, it's not like there is no such jet fuel that's just like, get the furniture, boys. It went through the walls. It's like, okay, ignore the walls and the whatever.

And the structure. Seek the furniture. And how did it get in? How did it get in? Just like the fuel. Through the pipes. There's an open window. Get in there.

Burn the furniture. It's like an X-Files monster. No building hit. No airplane hit building. You see how he started to say that? He said, no building hit, and then he stopped. He said, no airplane hit. Because a building did fucking hit Tower 7.

A building fucked up Tower 7. And yet it free fell at the speed of gravity. Like the big towers. Yes, like a controlled revolution. And again, am I saying that there was something up here? What I'm saying is we have permission to ask these questions. You had them before. You had it fucking, you've had it for 15 years.

There's nothing new. There's nothing new about these. There's nothing new or interesting about these questions. Donald was on fucking national television spouting this bullshit 10 years ago or whatever it was or eight years ago like you had permission nobody cared because it's fucking you're an idiot stupid yeah and i want you to be bold i like my hair and ask these questions and these people these these speech police that would ridicule you for daring ass. The stupidest fucking questions I've ever heard.

Yes, I'm going to ridicule you for that. Yeah, it's funny because they really, what they want is a safe space. Yeah, I know. You know, what they want is a safe space where they can ask their really dumb questions and not be questioned on it. But what they want is a public safe space, right? And that's why they're all fucking pissy is they want to be able to stand up and be like, well, I got the dumbest fucking question you've ever heard. Give me a forum so I can fucking spout it and then nobody should question me about it. Like, well, that's not how discourse works, you fucking coward.

And the thing is, is if you're going to ask that question and you're not going to let people answer it, well, then fucking why did you ask it in the first place? You're not looking for an answer what you're looking for is is so that you can say to yourself well i know the answer and i don't want you to tell me the answer right what happened to those buildings i know what happened to those buildings you're not looking for to ask a question you're looking to make a statement you're looking to make a statement that's fucking completely unsubstantiated on any facts whatsoever that's what you're looking and since when do we have any space where we get to say shit and not face the potential for ridicule yeah like ridicule is just the potential in any in any fucking situation at all in any situation you go to work you meet people

you talk to fucking ridicule is the price you sometimes pay you're totally engaging totally right the only place where that happens is a safe space right you're totally under it The only place where you can expect no ridicule for that is a safe space. And they want a 9-11 truth or safe space. Go back to your 9-11 safe space. The most obvious question. The whole of the Pentagon, by the way, again, I'm a jet pilot. No, you're not. Sorry. I don't care. I don't care.

Look, this is a conspiracy theory of mine. That guy's not a jet pilot. I don't care. I don't care. Look, this is a conspiracy theory of mine. That guy's not a jet pilot. I don't give a fuck. You can show me picture after picture. It's doctored. You can show him flying a fucking jet pilot. That guy does not know how to fly a jet. He can fly you back to California.

You can be like, no, he didn't do it. He didn't do it. A 757 is much bigger than the hole in the pentagon well did the jet shrink yeah when it gets destroyed it shrinks that's what happens pieces of things break off of things when they explode at like 600 miles an hour or whatever i don't think the hole is bit is smaller than the jet i think he's just wrong it's not smaller like it's pretty simple well let's compare it to the other time that this never happened we have is it went through there when it wasn't photographed ask these questions and when people ridicule you okay point your finger

back at them and say i have a passion for truth i have a right to truth well then fucking why don't you fucking like get some facts then? Do some research. And not just watch loose change. Yeah, exactly. It's fucking real easy. It's only truth that's going to set us free. We now have permission to ask these questions. Ask them boldly.

Don't care about the ridicule that you get. But I'm still going to get the ridicule. So what has changed? Nothing's changed. What has changed? I now have permission to do this thing, but i'm still gonna get the ridicule so what has changed nothing's changed what has changed i now have permission to do this thing but i'm still gonna eat the shit i mean so yeah it's like before i would before if i said this stupid thing i'm gonna eat the shit right oh i don't like to eat the shit now donald trump's here and i'm like well i can say it again right yeah but you're still gonna have to eat shit well at least i have permission to

eat shit you know maybe shit maybe mr bulby is on to something because like it's true that trump can just say whatever the fuck he wants and no one cares like maybe he's right maybe we can now we can just say fucking anything and if we're donald trump and we have a you know reality show or had a reality show sure maybe he's on to it with that yeah but i think that applies to one guy right it's like it's like It's like if you're the boss, you can walk around and be like, I'm not wearing pants today. And everybody's like, that's super weird. You want answers?

I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So the story comes from Right Wing Watch. This is Ted Nugent. If you hate me, you hate America. It's amazing.

All right, here's Ted. I'm going to turn it down a little because I think this peaks pretty high. It turns out you just start in trouble, man. We had this little get together, I guess. Jesus, turn the fucking gain down. What is with these guys? Every single one of these. Sandy Rios, this fucking.

Sandy Rios is a perennial offender. He's like, we just need more me. More me. Crank it up as loud as it goes. It's fucking ridiculous, dude. They just fucking turn it up to 11. Like, everybody's sound guy is Spinal Tap sound guy. He's like, the way you know the audio is working is it's constant red bars at the top there.

That's how you know it's really good. You gun kooks all got together in Louisville or something, and you dared go on stage and talk about the God-protected, God-endowed rights that we all enjoyed. Well, we used to anyway. Wait, what happened to them? They're gone. Did some guy just not have the ability recently to shoot 50 people dead with his assault rifle? Was that a thing that just not happened?

We can buy – like all the guns I could buy a year ago, I could buy now. You could buy right now. No, you didn't know that? All your rights are gone. Well, I was going to use some of them. You thought you had the right to remain silent? No. You don't have to talk.

You have to sing. If you can't think of anything to sing, it's, like, happy birthday. Keep going. I'm so tired. You're under arrest. You have no right to remain silent. You will be very vocal, sir, at every opportunity.

No more rights. In this country. And in saying that, you had no problem launching into Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and Barack Obama. And you know what I love about you is that you just don't really care what the other side says, do you? He also doesn't care about personality traits. You know what I love about you? You're an unabashed idealist ideologue. That's what you are. You're somebody who can't see both sides of the

argument. Awesome. That's kind of us, actually. Well, bottom line is, the reason I don't care what the other side says, and we need to identify unambiguously what the other side is, and those that hate me, the Hillary Clintons, the lying,

the felons, the scam artists, the Hillary Clintons, the lying, the felons, the scam artists, the power abusers, the criminals in our government, Bernie Mao, Tse Tung, Sanders, let me... Hold on. I'm going to take a wild guess here and guess that he's going to call Bernie a communist. I don't know. I don't know where you're getting that. Let me see if I got this right, Joe. 58,000 American military warriors died fighting communism. And now Bernie Sanders wants to give it a shot here.

This is sheer delirium, but worse, it's offensive. You know what's offensive? Is this fucking guy's bukkake parade with the fucking military that's the most offensive thing because people sent us messages and said that this guy like pissed his pants and shit his pants to like draft dodge back in the day like he was a draft dodger and he he didn't want to go and he fucking draft dodged his way out of it and now he's fucking like all he wants to do is just try to fucking get hit his gag reflex with military cock like that's all he constantly wants to do it's just i mean it's it's so fucking offensive it's just absolutely offensive that this guy is just constantly singing the praises of the military and like and and worse than that it's worse than

that it's that he's he's always talking about the heroic dead. You know what I mean? Like the heroic dead and these heroic people that are out there doing this stuff and these are the heroes of America and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's this fucking like – I don't even know. Like we have this culture that's just so crazy and so obsessed with war that it's just – Well, what we've decided is that if any military personnel died in pursuit of a goal, the goal was automatically worthwhile, right? The death of any soldier automatically justifies that goal. So I mean I'm not even making the argument right now about whether or not fighting communism was right or wrong. Just the broader concept is so patently absurd.

fighting communism was right or wrong just the broader concept is so patently absurd like if if fucking one military fucking personnel member dies in pursuit of some military goal then all of a sudden that military goal had some inherent value or inherent weight like that's it's fucking nonsense we're just a government fucking made up of people making decisions sometimes we make bad decisions and it kills people. And that's that. And we didn't fight a war against. No, no. And I don't,

where did, where did 50? I mean, he's probably talking about Korea and probably Vietnam. We still didn't fight. We fought a war because of, you know, a lie about the aggression.

Again, that's not communism itself. Like if, if, if supposedly someone attacked one of our fucking ships we're not fighting back because communism yeah but the next thing you're gonna say is we weren't fighting a war on terror either what the fuck it's criminal there is nothing more anti-american than the freaks that hate me and when move on.org and media matters and

southern poverty law center and rachel maddowNBC. And good, decent people with educations. He missed right wing watches where I'm playing this. Lie and spew their hate towards me. Or just play a clip of you talking. Yeah, they just do articles that are literally just like, look at this. It's because I stand with the best families in America, which were exemplified at the National Rifle Association gathering. What's the best families in America? Did we vote on them?

We've got pretty much the best families in America. They're tremendous. Let's get it straight. The NRA is not a gun lobby. The NRA is mom-and-pop family America who are standing up for the most fundamental instinct and God-given individual right is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution. Is to have a gadget that can kill people. Yeah, that's a fundamental fucking right.

Do you think God really? Look what you did to Cecil. Just seriously. Go-go gadget death. Go-go gadget poke a hole do you think god really i mean like do you think god would value that like really even if you believe god exists and you ask god hey god what's my most important right oh well i'll tell you son it's to have a fucking button you can push that kills another human instantly. That's what I want you to do. That's the most important thing.

So fucking stupid. But I'm going to wait. Hold on a second. I'm going to wait thousands of years before I give you a lot of time. And then you still all don't get one. And known to be self-evident truth in our hearts, souls, and spirit, that self-defense is good. Rachel Maddow doesn't think self-defense is good.

She only wants the criminals to have guns. Yeah, that's what she wants. Yeah, she actually has a GoFundMe that just funds criminals with guns. You know what I do, guys? I keep a bag of guns with me at all times. When I see someone who looks a little mischievous, like, oh, you might be a criminal. You, sir. You, sir.

Would you like a gun? Pardon me, Miss Cringe. Miss Cringe, yeah. I just wait outside. You're out past curfew. Here's your gun. I just wait for parolees. Yeah, when they just walk out of prison.

I just throw it at them. There you go i will see i have ten dollars a bus ticket nine millimeter a brown paper bag it's got a cupcake in there it's got a banana they need the you know yeah and then it's gotta be yeah yeah the gun's gotta be part of a wholesome breakfast yeah you gotta keep your energy up if you're gonna shoot people with you know what i do i put mine in a bible that a Bible. That way they know. I become even more dangerous. You're not dangerous at all. Who are you dangerous to? If you strike me down,

I shall become more powerful. He's going to go into quoting Star Wars right now. Because the only thing more dangerous than a sour grizzly bear with cubs is Ted Nugent with more confidence. So as the freaks hate me, I go, man, I really am right all the time. I celebrate

that and I'm very, very proud. What an unabashed narcissist. How does that guy talk with his own dick down his own throat so far? That sounds about like it would sound like that. You know what he sounds like? An American Swedish chef.

He does. First I take the guns here and then I... Horgan, Borgan, Schlorgan, Forgan. Good Lord. There's another whole clip of him. Back then the norm was get high, get stoned, get drunk, be stupid, and die young. Today the norm seems to be you got to be for gay marriage. You have to believe that transgender is a normal thing.

Hey, Tom. Can I still get high? I was going to say, Tom, you want to party? I got what you want right here. It's gay marriage. It's being pro-gay marriage. Let's party, man. Yo, hey, man, you want to come over and maybe get transgendered?

Let's knock back a few being in support of gay marriage. To be okay with men in dresses, in our locker rooms with our wives and our daughters. Why is my wife in the locker room? I know. Get her out of my locker room. I guess it's none of my business anymore, but I'm kind of curious. It sucks because I just got out of the shower and it's cold and there was shrinkage. You know what I mean? It's not always like that's always like that's pretty much

in the locker room it means she's on my fucking hockey team and she can't play hockey so i don't want a wife a daughter on my goddamn hockey team he's right or in the bathroom at a concert if not then you're the idiot if you you don't believe that, listen, Adam Levine and Maroon 5, Bruce Springsteen, Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas. Are we just naming people? I love it. I love it. I want to know where he's going because I seriously don't know what he's talking about. I seriously

have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. Listen, Adam Levine and Maroon 5, Bruce Springsteen, Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas, Bryan Adams, Tracy Morgan. They all refuse to go because, God forbid, there are people in North Carolina or Mississippi. They all refuse to go where? Like, are they, like, not going to play a stadium because they have a fucking, like, a transgender thing going on or something?

Man, I don't remember. Is this a news? Yeah, what is he talking about? These are all people that have supported. Oh, it says says nugen has also criticized performers who have canceled events in north carolina and mississippi so that's what we're talking about who don't want men who are confused to go to the bathroom or to get changed with their wives and daughters what about if they're dead fucking certain yeah like what wait what about if they're dead fucking certain like what they're not confused at all what if there's I'm dead fucking certain about my gender and it's trans.

Seriously, I don't know of a – like if you're a trans woman and you go into a bathroom and let's say you still have all the male plumbing. You don't just stand in front of everybody in there as a trans woman and pull everything off and be like, whatever, guys. I'm going to pee in the sink. Pulling your dick out like a Lassa. You fucking walk into a stall like somebody else and you would do it in private. Like you would not – there's no reason they would put themselves through that. They wouldn't do that to themselves. Right.

So the idea that this is some sort of big problem, they've probably been doing it for years man and nobody noticed nobody cared is it the same sort of bizarre world either you get on board or you're that you're now the rebel because you believe in something that we used to call american values well i've always been the rebel i mean all the hippies and all the musicians is i was growing up from the 1950s right up to today. They still think getting high is somehow beneficial as they watch all their buddies pass and die. I mean, Prince died recently this year. Glenn Frey and Lemmy and David Bowie. I mean, they're dropping like flies.

Yeah, they're fucking old. I was going to say. They're not young people. Well, Prince was youngish, but I mean, the fucking rest of them. He was still almost 60, right? Yeah. But he also died of overdose too too so yeah so it would have been fine if he just didn't do that one yeah but there was but a lot of these guys are like you know

we're talking about fucking david bowie was in his 70s right so was fucking lemmy lemmy was old these people aren't fucking spring chickens we're not talking about fucking it's not fucking kelly clarkson dying like taylor exactly it's not fucking justin bieber didn't die you know a recent young musician who died at the hands of a gun so that's fucking more dangerous than the goddamn drugs they're talking yeah the voice person whatever yeah that's how people how people die young being shot by somebody with a fucking gun they all have a legacy of substance abuse which accelerates death. I mean, that's not a guitar player hunch.

That's science. I wouldn't fucking pay attention to a guitar player hunch anyway. I was flabbergasted that that's a thing. I was like, do guitar players have better hunches? Does that somehow lend credence? It's like, I've got a hunch. Wait a minute. What are you playing?

Ukulele. Fuck you. Guitar players do have a better hunch, but if you slow cook them, it's really delicious. In every detective novel, you find a guitar player with a hunch. That's true. To solve the crime. They have a giant guitar-shaped magnifying glass. Maybe it was the butler.

Let's ask a guitar player. I have a hunch it was. Ah, let's get him. So, yes, I am out of line with this horrible self-inflicted curse known as political correctness. And I think everybody has equal rights. I don't care what your gender choice of the day is. I think that happens to be a mental illness when you have the plumbing of a male, but you identify as a female. That's truly a mental illness.

I'm glad that you're a completely unqualified twat who told us all about that. That's awesome. Do you remember when Ted Nugent went to the Nugent School of Psychiatry? I remember that nationally accredited school of dudes who wear alligators sometimes. And I pray for those people. I'm not using

that as a derogatory term. I'm just using it as a medical identification. But you have no qualifications to give. It's like saying someone has cancer by looking at them. Bro, you got cancer. I went to the guitar player hunch medical school.

I found that many people had bonitis. I have a guitar player hunch. This bridge is structurally secure. I went to guitar player engineering classes Fuck you What? I thought you were making a pun like bridge

Like of a song Oh no I'm not that smart If you got the male plumbing You need to go to the male bathroom Because this new open door policy Of identifying with a gender I know from the law enforcement perspective You know nothing about law gender. I know from the law enforcement perspective. You know nothing about law enforcement.

You know nothing about the law enforcement perspective. Sometimes people that wear guns on their hips listen to your songs. That does not make you an expert on law enforcement. Does he think there's literal plumbing, like your penis interacts with the plumbing of the bathroom, like you won't fit in the female? He's like, you've got to go in the male bathroom. Dude, it's just toilets. Like, you just, whatever. As long as it gets down the drain. My pee trap won't fit in the female it's like you gotta go in the male bed like dude it's just toilets like you just whatever as long as it gets down the drain my p-trap doesn't fit and it opens the door to perverts and child molesters and rapists and sexual offenders

right yeah because the door was completely closed to them before there's no way they were ever going to enter the bathroom it was like fucking force field yeah it was like fucking it was like that door in that fucking lord of the rings where you had to fucking like speak friend and you may enter. Like there's no way you're going to get in there without a fucking, like some sort of wizard. Like you need a Gandalf to get in. In his scenario. I am a person so awful,

so awful that I am molesting children. I am, I am the least ethical and moral human being possible. And yet I show up to a bathroom like my door says men so i gotta go i gotta fucking i don't want to break a rule i just want to rape a kid nobody could possibly want that so i'm afraid that these people who are protesting the north carolina law uh i really think they're out of whack. I think they're ignorant of the law enforcement perspective. And I would say that they just don't care about the safety of young females in female

locker rooms and women's bathrooms. And I think it's a horrible, horrible mistake. I can't wait to go to Ted Nugent's School of Hunching and Police Work and doctoring. That's going to be great. Yeah, you just get one degree that covers any fucking thing you want to say. Part of me thinks that he thinks he has a degree in everything that someone who's bought one of his albums has.

Yeah. Well, that's going to wrap it up. We'll be back on Monday. Tom and I are working on possibly doing a patron-only show in the next couple weeks, so that should be pretty cool. And we're trying to work on our regular show and David Icke's book, Tom's favorite book. So tune in on Monday, and we'll have Chapter 4 ready for you. So that wraps it up for this week, and we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue,

hypno Babylon bullshit, couched in scientician, double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating, pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment Leo Pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing

crystal balls Bigfoot Yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms Atlantisantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands.

Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. friends, families, or of the local dairy council. you