Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 302: Recoil Reducing Maternity Clothes

Episode Date: June 27, 2016

 

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey guys, I was listening to your latest episode with that hate-filled bigot that was calling for the death penalty on homosexuals. And I turned to my husband and said, hey, we already have two death penalties racked up today. Do you want to go for a third? He didn't think it was very sexy. Glory home, motherfuckers! Hey, guys. The most amazing thing just happened to me. I left my friend's house

that I grew up with. Her mom's in town. And we always made jokes about how insane her mom was when we were growing up. Like, she's a conspiracy theorist and all that, but I just walked in on her listening to Alex Jones, like seriously listening to Alex Jones. I didn't imagine that I knew someone who was listening to Alex Jones and taking everything

so seriously, but apparently I do, and it's awesome. Anyways, glory hole, love it. and it's awesome. Anyways, boy, love it. Just wait, my father hears that you've been

mispronouncing my illustrious family name. It's Draco. I shall get my wands now and I shall curse you in the next room. Gloria!

Hey, C-Squint, I'm Matthew from Justice, Illinois. I wanted to call and say thank you and congratulations on It's Matthew from Justice, Illinois. I wanted to call and say thank you and congratulations on your 300 shows.

Quite an accomplishment. And I'm going through the back catalog and I'm down to about episode 50. And you guys have never had a second annual anything. I just find that funny. Anyways, keep up the good work, guys. Glory hole. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

The explicit tag is there for a reason. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. It's been one week since you looked at me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Five days you laughed at me. You said so excited to meet you. I'm so excited to meet you.

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I'm so excited bare naked ladies. Wait. First of all, first of all, first of all, sir, everybody likes bare naked ladies. Even ladies like bare naked ladies. How could you not? They're bare naked ladies. That's amazing. Thank you very much. That was sent in to us. A listener sent that in to us, and we were going to play it during the email section.

We just decided instead that we would actually open the show with it. How do you not open with that? It's great. It's terrific. It made us laugh out loud. When we heard it, we laughed out loud. That's terrific. So we want to thank Demented Snake.

Thank you very much for sending that in. That was a lot of fun. It's a really great edit. It's a really funny edit. This is episode... 302. 302, which was not... You know what? You almost got

me. Because we were going to do 300 A and B, and we've done that in the past. Is that what happened, Tom? Is that what happened? But I noticed today when I was listening to the show that you named it 301 when I was listening to what just released. So that's how we're at 302.

We add one to 301. I'm one to 301. I'm pretty good at math. It's been one week. Since I got the number right. What are you fidgeting with? What is that thing? That's a mic handle thing.

It's the mic holder thing that's not on the mic thing that we took down. We're like the goofy kid in school. You got to give them a fidget. I know. It's funny because you fidget with your're like the goofy kid in school. You gotta give him a fidget. I know. Well, it's funny because you fidget with your knife all the time. I do. And that one time we had guests in and you're flipping your knife on them. He's not a killer, just so you know.

Not to our guests. Not to our guests. Vicky Getman is inching towards the door. She was military. Oh no, she was going to take you down. She was just creating enough space to bull rush me. She was was just like, she's like, Oh no, she was going to take you down. Yeah. She was going to take you down. She was just creating enough space to bull rush me.

She was like, yeah, she's going to fuck your shit up. She was going to snap me in half like a fucking twig. She's going to wreck you, bro. But she was eyeing you up. Like,

don't you do it, boy. I know. She was like, you think you could shake me with that twig? I hear that all the time. That's what happens every time I take my pants off. You think you could shake me with that twig? Please. I'm going all the time. That's what happens every time I take my pants off. You think you can shake me with that twig?

Please. I'm going to die trying. This is the hill I die on. Oh, that's awesome. I'm not so much planting my flag as sort of thrusting it at the ground and hoping it digs in a centimeter or two. I thrust, I hope, for some penetration. And I'm just like, are we in?

No. Was that good for you? Yeah, I feel like. Because I'm done. And I'm done. Here, let me just sweat on you a little bit. I'll get you like seven towels. It's like.

It's been one week since... I'll just scoop that away from you. Let me tell you. It's like a fishbowl. Everybody loves bare naked ladies. Literally no one likes bare naked Tom. Everybody else is just like... I'm still looking.

He's slick like an orca. He's like a wet mushroom. It's like touching an orca. He's like a wet mushroom. It's like touching a wet tire. It's like feeding a stingray. Like, what is happening? The ladies just throw sardines in my direction and expect me to balance a ball on my nose. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus.

So this first story, man, I don't know exactly what to do with this. We have two sources for this story. There's one which comes from The Sun that is not actually a reputable news source. So we had to go to The Rolling Stone, which actually is a much better news source. It actually has some really high-quality journalism. So Rolling Stone has this article. Why did an ex-Amish family... I feel like this is a quiz. Actually, I'm going to change

the scope. I'm going to change the way we approach this, Cecil. And I am going to use the article's title as a quiz for you. That's the first question. Got it. Cecil, pop quiz hot shot. All right. Shoot the hostage. Shoot them all.

Shoot the Amish. Don't. Any listeners, please do not shoot the Amish. They would just forgive you. Remember when that happened? Remember that fucking... That was actually an amazing story and it almost made me not hate the Amish. Do you ever remember when that fucking lunatic

like shot up an Amish school? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And their response was so heart-rendingly kind. I know. They were just like, yeah, we immediately forgive him and pray for his soul. And you're just like, no, no. If somebody shot my kid in a school,

I'd be like, I would like to tear him limb from limb is there any way my own hands anyway i can remove one vertebrae at a time i would like to see him skin exactly right i want to wear his flesh in front of him and i want to remove it with a blowtorch is that possible yeah exactly but they were just like eh whatever we'll make some more uh so cecil why did an ex-Amish family sell their 14-year-old daughter? Because that's normal for the Amish because they trade. They're bartering. They're a bartering group.

So like if you like let's say you help him raise a barn, you can do anal with his wife. You know, there's like little stuff. How big is the barn? How big is her ass? Those are fit ladies, man. They're out in the field. Tell you what?

They got some birthday hips, though. Yeah. Well, if I could pop like 14, 15 kids out of there, you got kidding, right? You got to put it in the air to get any friction. Exactly. I'm a monster. That is a monster. That's kind of sexy, actually. I'm right monster. That is a monstrous thing to say. That's kind of sexy, actually.

I'm right there with you. I don't think it's monstrous at all. I think it's just accurate. It's just probably true. Just accurate, yeah. It's like... Nope. Never mind.

I was going to say something that disgusted even me. You stopped yourself. I did. Yeah. There's some shit that even i am uncomfortable saying because i'll have to hear myself say it i'll be like doubtful no i'm not good with that no but like you know when you trade like six dozen eggs or whatever for you know a handy right sometimes sure they're a bartering group of people that's why they that's it yeah distressingly that is a

nearly accurate summation of the reasoning behind why they gave their daughter. Now, this story is fucking – it's lunacy upon lunacy, and I actually would have to read this several more times to try to make heads or tails on it. Exactly. Because it's so bizarre and convoluted. It's like a Lynch movie. Right. You know what I mean? It's like a series of cascadingly poor decisions that doesn't actually involve my life.

Yeah. Which is surprising. I know, right? I know. Because there's arrows around you all the time that say, don't do this. I know, right? Don't do this. I walk around like, I shouldn't be doing this.

This is a bad idea. Rewind. Rewind. Rewind. It's like, you want to do that? Terrible decision. Let's do it twice. Rewind.

Rewind. It's like, do you want to do that? Terrible decision. Let's do it twice. But this family had like a trillion kids, right? Sure. They had kids at a rate of one every 13 months. Sure. Which is nearly the maximum rate of childhood.

It's essentially an automatic weapon at that point. It's essentially an automatic weapon at that point. I think you would need to get permission from the Department of Firearms and Tobacco and go through extensive background checks before you can shit kids out that fast. Before you can shit kids out that fast, you need to have government regulation. There's a sit-in on Congress right now to ban vaginas that fast. You need to have government regulation. There's a sit-in on Congress right now to ban vaginas that fast. She has kids so fast there's a fucking muzzle flash.

Her pussy's perforated to decide to reduce that. It's like a mortar. Just every once in a while you hear a... And some guy comes running with a basket to try to catch the kid. You dress her up in recoil-reducing birth clothes. She just walks around wearing a series of springs. Oh my God.

So she's had – I don't know. She had like a fucking – They don't even know. She basically shit out China. They had so many kids that it's between 12 and 15. They don't even know. No, they don't even know.

They don't even know how many kids. There might still be some in there. You don't know. It comes to a point where when you've lost track of how many kids – Is anybody in there? Is anybody in there? Is anybody in there? Is anybody in there? You can hear the ocean if you put your ear up to this thing.

That works with all clams, though, it turns out. She's just hollow inside. She's like the TARDIS. You walk in and you're just like Jesus, there's like a whole fucking spaceship in here. Oh my god. It's like fucking Willy Wonka's factory. There's like Oompa Loompas

everywhere. You take your drawers off and it's just a platform nine and three quarters. A fucking owl flies're playing fucking Quidditch Indoors You look down and you're like My bludger's not big enough I need a bigger wand

If you play piss games, it's the golden snitch. Oh, man. Okay. All right, so she has a big pussy. Anyways. Goddamn, that thing would be intimidating. Jesus Christ. You'd be like, all right, cover me, boys.

I'm going in. Somebody go hook the fucking plow to the oxen. You got to put on a safety harness so you don't get lost. You need one of those fucking mining lights. You got to have a buddy outside. If I pull the rope twice, pull me back out. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.

Okay. Okay. All right. Giant pussy. We're there already. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. All right. Giant pussy. We're there already. She's had between... I'm so ashamed of myself right now. Oh, my God. So she's had like 60 to

400 kids. And then they meet some dude at like an equipment auction who gives them some money. Wait, is this before or after they ran over their kid with a forklift? It's unclear. They had one kid. That's like a 14-month-old.

There's so many of them. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. How do you fucking leave your 14-month-old in forklift driving territory? How does that happen? Because there's so many kids. Because there's so many. You're just like, I just assume I'm hitting one with a forklift.

You don't even care. You're just like, hold on a minute. Give me 30 seconds to impregnate my wife again. Jesus. Maybe at the equipment auction is where they ran over the kid. Maybe they were getting a new forklift. This one's full. And they needed a new kid, right?

That's got a rib bone sticking out of the fire. So they get into some financial shenanigans problems. They meet this guy. Now, to see the pictures of these people, you would think that the guy, based on the article, you would think that this guy, he's got some crazy hold over this family. They all look like Jerry Garcia, including the woman. She looks the most like – I'll tell you what they don't look like, Jerry Garcia. So something happens, and even from reading this article, I'm not clear on exactly what it is.

But he gets a hold over these people, and they're basically like, hey, thanks so much for the financial help. Would you like all of my available daughters? All of them. 12. 12. When the fucking police break into this house, which is like a crazy house, and there's a couple parts of the story that are actually really disturbing. There's this house, and it's all fucking boarded up and like covered in fucking weeds and like there's occasionally the neighbors are like fucking women like young girls live in that house well let's just not say anything about it for

years and years right and you look at the pictures and it's like how do you not how do you not say anything to anybody he's got 12 well he's got a fucking dozen of their kids i know there's a whole bunch of kids they open the door and they just keep finding more and then they and this is what it sound like they're walking around the police are they're like they were incredulous they're walking around they're like everywhere you look they're just saying they're i know they they're like we kept finding them yeah they kept're walking around. They're like, everywhere you look, there's just like. I know. They're like, we kept finding them. Yeah, they kept finding them. And like the guy is so, this article is so fucking baffling that even in the article,

the woman says, I thought he was trying to convert me, but I'm not sure to what. Even the people involved in the story. Everybody's confused. Don't understand why they're in this story. Like they're all looking around like, does anyone understand how this happened yeah we're living in a fucking boarded up house surrounded by weeds for some reason there's a forklift which suggests somebody's doing some work around here yeah well and then and then the woman the girl the 14 year old girl who was 14 or whatever and eventually now she's 18 she has like a three

month old or three year old and a four month old or something like that and uh she's 18, she has like a three-year-old and a four-month-old or something like that. And she's in love with the guy. They all like him. They all. Everybody's like, great guy. No. And this guy Googled, the dad Googled whether or not this was legal to trade his daughter away to someone else.

Yeah, this is the best. I've got to just read this straight from the article. According to criminal complaint, Daniel, can't pronounce, told police that he did his due diligence beforehand. He Googled it to make sure the transaction was legal. Transaction, dude. This is the best. It's the best piece of editorializing in this article. Who knows what links they clicked on or how the family's indeterminate faith views sex between adults and minors or what they imagined would happen when their daughter moved into Kaplan's home. I love it. He's just like, what did you, what, cause that is the end. Like,

what did you click? How many pages through Google do you have to click through before you find the answer you want? Cause at some point it's like, how many daughter? No, that's not how, how do you even phrase the question? It's like some people fucking, I know somebody when they Google, they do not Google keywords. They just type in the whole question. If the question is's like some people fucking i i know somebody when they google they do not google keywords they just type in the whole question if the question is like where is the best pepperoni pizza within a three block radius of my house they'll just type that whole fucking thing in like not you know pizza near me yeah pepperoni pizza near me or whatever right it's just we're putting the whole fucking question in like sure the whole thing sure what do you have to type

into the query to return a result called sure you can have 12 kids no and fuck the big one no instead you can trade her off for your debts right that's what he googled right oh yeah yeah because it's the one who traded not the one who received yeah googled it to see if it was okay it's the guy the fucking what yeah this fucking story is absolutely crazy. It's insane. And they said like they had a cult-like powers over the family. If you have a life that values reason as the method for making decisions, right?

And granted, we all stray from that path. I stray from that path. Absolutely. Me too. With alarming regularity. Yeah. I mean, I hang out with you. I know, right?

So, yeah. All the people who hang out with me stare around at some point like, we're not sure how we arrived here, but we regret the entire series of decisions. Is there a forklift I can back over here? Nonetheless, if you value reason as the primary tool to make decisions about what's right and wrong or how you do things or how you live your life, you're never going to arrive at a point where you're like, well, I Googled whether or not I could train my kids for like a fancy watch or something.

Can you, though? Because that's, I mean, I think I can make the kids for free. I'll tell you what. And then I get a watch. It ain't free, buddy. It's cost and it's cost and it's cost. Let me tell you something, Alan. If America continues to reject the mercy of the Christian cross, America will live under the tyranny of the Islamic sword.

Right wing watch. This is from Andrew McCarthy. Orlando transcripts redacted because the government is becoming Sharia adherence. I want to introduce this real quick. Earlier this week, or was it last week it was like last week they uh transcripts from the orlando shooting were released and a number of things were redacted i will say i read the redacted transcript and it was very slightly redacted and it would take almost no fucking wheel of fortune powers to figure out what words were

redacted from that right like you don't have to buy a vowel to know exactly what they redacted out of there. But there was a lot of controversy. Vanna's turning over letters. Vanna turns over ISIS. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And there was a lot of controversy. And I think it was right that there was some controversy around this. But this is part of why this is problematic,

I think. This exact thing we're going to play is part of why it's problematic, because it feeds into these trolls. It feeds into this, yeah. The attorney general went on NBC yesterday and she said she's redacting the audio of the assailant in Orlando to take out his call to jihad, his call and pledge to the Islamic State. Did you, by her reason, or do you think it shows that our government starts to become Sharia-adherent or Sharia-compliant? It's clearly that the government is becoming Sharia-adherent, and the left is using the

same tactic with respect to law enforcement against radical Islamic extremism as it uses in the area of what they call climate change. What? I don't know. I don't, I can't, I literally can't follow that logic. I don't, I thought about that for, when I heard it earlier and I was like, I still don't understand what he's talking about. They're using, I'm going to read it,

because I've read this three or four times. The left, that's us, Cecil. Yeah. The left is using the same tactic with respect to law enforcement against radical Islamic extremism. Now, I don't know what tactic he's referring to. I actually don't know what tactic he's referring to, because he never defines the tactic, right?

Well, it's what they use for climate change. But it uses that in the same area of what they call climate change. So science? Thermometers. Like we're using the same... You're using the same tactic of learning about stuff. You're using the same tactic of collecting ice cores. Right, oh yeah.

Hey, remember that time that you flew an airplane up into a hurricane? That was Sharia-adherent climate change research. The fuck are you talking an airplane up into a hurricane? That was Sharia adherent climate change research. The fuck are you talking about? The fuck is wrong? What is wrong with you? No, they said that that's the reason is because they're Sharia adherent or whatever. But I did think of two possible reasons earlier that I mentioned to you that they may have redacted it. All right.

And I talked to you about it and you shot them both down. And I think rightly so. But I do want to mention both of them anyway. The first one is one of the reasons why I think they may have redacted it is they don't want to give that group any mojo, right? So when you take away that they will pronounce the name of his group, then you take away his last wish in some ways, right? But the second part that I'm going to tell you, the second reason why they might've redacted it, I think washes away the first because I don't believe him. I don't believe that he was from ISIS.

I think he just said that. I think he just called and said that. I don't think he was. I don't think he's a strict Muslim. I don't think he just said that. I think he just called and said that. I don't think he was. I don't think he's a strict Muslim. I don't think any of those things. I don't think that, it doesn't seem like that, at least from the things that I've seen. And if that's the case and they didn't believe him either, then why redact it? Yeah. Well, and like we talked about this earlier, I think the problem with redacting is you either release it all

or you don't release it at all, right? It's an all or nothing proposition. I really do think that transcripts like this are just totally a zero-sum game. So if you release this and you redact it, all you do is play into these conspiracy theory dickwads, right? All these people who are like, oh my God, who really shot JFK?

All these fucking basement troll assholes. All of his subsequent chins are quivering at the thought of this. They love this stuff because now they can come up with all these crazy conspiracy theories about how the government is on board and then there's going to be truthers and all this fucking madness

bullshit. So you either do it or you don't yeah those are your two fucking options here and i gotta say like i'm on the side if you do it right it's the yeah i mean i'm not i'm not i'm not for hiding information like whatever like i think i think awful information is awful information but we have a right to it absolutely that is they have an official version of events which may be part of a counter universe, but it's their story and they're sticking to it. And what they're trying to do is purge any alternative explanation. Oh, their tactic is purging alternative explanations.

Right? Right. So that climate change, they're saying that we're like the side that thinks climate change exists, which is like 90 percent of the people who think climate change exists. They try to shout down the other side. The administration has the position that violent extremism, which is what they call it, is disconnected from any credible interpretation of Islam. No, that's not true. That's not true at all. I mean, I think maybe the administration does think that, or not think that, but like professes some of that. I think Obama is real soft on Islam.

He doesn't say Islam, right? And that is somewhat problematic. But I do think that it's fair to call it extremism because we've had extremist acts from Christians and other religious groups. But is he soft on them when he's shooting the drones at them and killing them? Is he soft then, you think? That doesn't seem soft to me. When hellfire missiles rain down from above and destroy the soft, fleshy bodies of Islamists. I wonder if he pilots the drones himself into like flaming children

while he's having sex with Michelle. Just like, watch me kill Michelle. Oh! I don't even know if that was a wedding! I'm gonna back this drone up over this 14-month-old toddler.

Islam is singularly a religion of peace, and there is to be no other interpretation of it. And therefore, anything that shows the direct nexus between Islamic doctrine and jihadist terror is to be suppressed. Now, I want to say that there are people. Absolutely. Those people exist.

Yeah, man. The Green Walls. The world limit. people. Absolutely. Those people exist. Yeah, man. The Green Walls. The war limit. Those fucking idiots. Those people love to make sure that everybody knows that Islam is like a big teddy bear. Right. It's a big snuggly teddy bear that occasionally cuts your head off. Yeah, they forget that sometimes you squeeze it

and it's a nail bomb. It's a squeezy teddy bear with a landmine inside. Sometimes it's filled with AK-47s. Why did my teddy bear go click? Oh, that's a dirty bomb. I see, to be honest, when I see somebody like Werleman post some garbage like that once in a while. You got to wonder who wrote it.

Because he's a plagiarist. You do have to wonder. I know. You're like, huh? I always wondered, did he write that tweet? I don't know. I don't know because it's entirely possible that somebody else did write it first, and then he just took credit for it.

He's pulling out of Aslan's ass. Because he's a thief of ideas because that's what plagiarism is, and he's a plagiarist i guess that's what i'm saying but go on yeah him and jonah lair trade notes oh it hurts oh it hurts and you knew it was going to i knew it i said it i said it to sting tom i set to. Jesus. But I feel like every time I see one of those assholes' tweets, I read it, and then I click on the messages, and literally everything back to them is, you're a fucking idiot. They'll say something like, oh, Islam is like a blanket that you go to bed with at night, and you wake up, and it's the best thing ever. And a bunch of people are just like, yeah, you're a fucking moron. And then there's just a million fucking things

that say you're a moron. And once in a while, there'll be somebody be like, I would love to give you a hand job, CJ. And that's it. That's what you have. There's once in a while some asshole will agree, but the rest of them are all just like, the fuck is wrong with you?

Well, that's because, first of all, it's a Twitter celebrity, right? Like it's the most Right? Twitter celebrity-dom is the most vapid form of celebrity possible. That's like Kardashian stupid. Right? That's the least meaningful form of discourse possible. That's like plagiarist writer.

That's monstrous. And it's not as bad as YouTube comment stupid, but it hoversous. And it's not as bad as YouTube comment stupid. No. Right? But it hovers right there. It's like it's somewhere around YouTube commenter and plagiarist. Yeah. But it's bad.

It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's extremely bad. It's real bad. Want to contact the guys?

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We read chapter four of David Icke's book, The Largest Secret. The most grand secret. The grandest of all secrets. And I did a tiny review, not a review, a summary. Okay.

A short summary of this chapter. Christianity is a mind prison that was constructed by Babylonian brotherhood to control humankind with fear. The Bible is a code book written in the mystery schools by the Levites, which were full-blood reptile-controlled people. Moses, Samson, King Solomon, and Jesus were not real people. I love that. He lists a bunch of inconsistencies, then mentions that 7, 12, and 40 are repeated code numbers. The code numbers, symbols, and persons represent vibrational frequencies. Jesus Christ.

That is almost a cogent explanation of chapter four. It's not in order, though. It's not in the way it's written. No, it's not. Yeah, because the way it's written, it kind of jumps all over the place. Because it's a stream of consciousness. I put it in the best order that I could. This is like

I did nothing but eat corn for three days diarrhea. That's how bad. That's how bad. He gets hung up on 12s a lot and I wrote an haiku about 12s. Okay, alright, let's hear it. 12 is the number. 12 nights, 12 Nazis, 12 stars,

12 hours, 12 months. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He just lists them all. He does. That's all he does the whole chapter. He just lists all the 12s.

He's like, here's all your 12s, guys. But then he never says, like, what does 12 mean? No, it's a vibrational frequency. But what does that mean? I don't know. I don't know what any of this means. It's just fucking deliberately large, dude. Okay, but what does that do?

Right. And never is there an explanation of what it does. And why would I hide all these 12s, right? Like, if I have all these 12s, like, I'm going to put all these 12s here. Okay, cool. I got all your 12s. All right, good. They're vibrational frequencies.

Okay, what do I do with them? Well, I don't know. Fucking just, you've got my 12s. It's like play war or like go fish. Hey, man, you got any 12s? Yeah, I got a fucking bunch. Okay, vibrational frequencies. What the fuck?

What the fuck? Get a vibrator. How did you? That's. 11, 12. This is bringing back memories. This is awesome. Memories.

I was listening to this on the way here. I'll tell you what, man. This is a fucking jam, dude. Old Sesame Street used to bring the fucking like Motown right? You know I mean Motherfucker oh It goes it goes for a while go Got a little what is that like a steel drum in there? Oh, if I hammer down wrecking that. Yeah. Oh, break it down. Don't stop at 11.

Yeah. Still going. There's no way not to dance to this. I feel like my body's got its own decisions. My body's always making its own decisions. What were we talking about? Vibrational frequencies. There it is right there.

There it is. There it is. It had me going. It had me going. Did you write out? It didn't get me to finish, but it had me going. Did you do a quiz? I did.

You want to take it? Yeah, I'd like to. All right. Now, don't fuck with me, bro. Okay. Because if you're like that motherfucker Thomas from last two weeks, if you didn't read it, you're going to fail this quiz. It's fucking hard. All right. Ready to go.

Question one. It's multiple choice. They're all multiple choice. Why is the book, The Bible Code, untrustworthy? Because he takes some pot shots at the book, The Bible Code. Okay. A. Because it used the wrong secret decoder ring. B.

Because it doesn't mention the reptiles. C, because it predicted that Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy. Or D, because it lacks the weight and heft of a scholarly tome such as the greatest secret. And the best part is he says something like, he's like, does anyone believe that? He suggests the greatest secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret.

Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. Secret. know. Like. All of us. All of us. Like Lee Harvey Oswald pretty much thinks so. Yeah. Or did. Thought. Yeah. Until Ruby. Why isn't the Bible true according to the Ike man?

A. Because Samson knocked down some pillars and Freemasons used pillars. B. Because you can't kill all the animals in Egypt three times. C. Because the Bible stories all use lots of repeating numbers. D, all of the above. D, all of the above. You knew it pretty well.

You knew it pretty well. I'm doing good. I'm doing good. All right. The Jesus story is bullshit, and we know it because, A, no self-respecting reptile would accept myrrh as a gift. B, many cultures share similar stories. C, Thor had a mighty hammer.

D, somehow both B and C. D. D is right, because Thor enters into the equation at some point. You're just like, alright, here's fucking Thor. That's amazing. Alright, and finally, the fourth, because you're doing well. Carl Castle's going to record Carl Castle's going to greeting on your home answering machine. Carl Castle's

going to give you a handy after he gives you a massage. That's a public radio joke. Oh, my God. All right. Four. Why did the reptilians go through all this trouble to create one religion based around the sun, then change it so that it becomes lots of religions, but still the same one, but different, but still the same? A. Who fucking knows? B.

Who fucking cares? C. Salmon with a light dill cream sauce. D, sacred geometry, man. What's wrong with you? I'm going to go with D. But also A and B. A and B were fine.

I would have even accepted the salmon with a light dill cream sauce. Because then you would have something of worth. There is no answer to that question. At one point, he talks about the ancient libraries and he talks about how the Babylonian Brotherhood destroyed the ancient libraries. I was like, wait, so they helped us invent

language and then they helped us build it and then they helped us write a bunch of books that tell the true story of humankind only to burn them all. That's like avoiding getting HIV by draining all your blood after sex. Which is a viable method.

It would work. It's a viable method. It would work. I got a couple of IQs here. Okay, bring them home. The Bible is full of unsubstantiated facts. Those in glass houses.

I like that one. That's a good one. I like that one. Ike knows secrets of mystery schools, but doesn't know the point. And then finally, Jesus wasn't real, but Aryan reptile men from Mars are here now.

All right. So we did have a reading and one of them does talk about the Bible code. So we're going to have, we're going to play Sarah. She read parts of the very biggest, bestest ever secret. Most goodest secret. parts of the very biggest, bestest ever secret. The most goodest secret. To understand the true background to the religions, we need to appreciate the basis of all ancient religion going back to the Phoenicians, the Babylonians, and beyond. It was the sun.

The hierarchy focused on the sun because, as I outlined earlier, they understood its true power as an amazing generator of electromagnetic energy. Did they? Yeah. Did they? Did they understand that? They're like, guys, I know we don't know the word electro or magnetic.

We're not real clear on energy. I know we're basically just fucking banging a couple of rocks together. We don't even understand why women get pregnant at this point. Like, like, like we are. No, but he thinks that there's reptile men who do it, I guess. That no. That bang our women? Because he thinks that.

Well, they enter our bodies first and then bang our women through us. Jesus Christ, I can't hear this right now. I've not drank enough. Which is affecting our lives and behavior every second of the day. The sun contains 99% of the mass of the solar system. Just think about that. The sun is the solar system. No, the sun is not.

99% is something. It's still not all the other. I don't even know if that's accurate. I don't even care if that's accurate. It doesn't mean that the solar system is the sun. Because the earth is not the sun the earth is not the sun. Right.

Venus is not the sun. They're different things. The sun is one thing. If the sun was the solar system, we would call it the solar system. We wouldn't do anything because we'd be living in the sun. That's very true. I would be like a million degrees, which is super bad for you. It's only slightly cooler in here, right?

I know, right? I know. I would sweat so much more than I already do. I'd put the sun out like a candle. And when it changes, we change. Understanding these sun cycles and the changing nature of the energy it projects allows you to anticipate how human beings are most likely to react to various events at different times. Why? Why would that help us understand how people would react to something?

Why? Why would you say that? Why would you say that? How? What am I? Like, why? Like, hey, man, do you think Bill's's gonna get angry when I fucking fuck his wife? I don't know what the suns say. I didn't ask his son. I ain't fucking his son. Yet.

Yet. As with the texts that form the basis of the various religions, there are two levels of knowledge in sun worship. In the ancient world, the hierarchy focused on the sun because they knew its effect at a deep level. While the masses worship worship the sun. Exactly, yeah, because you're a primitive people. Right. And you're just like...

You're like, I love food. That thing, when that thing's out, it's good. I don't know what it is but i really like it we really need it right yeah it's like the clit you're like i don't know what it is i'm not sure what it's there for wait the what i've heard it's a myth it's like a big foot it's like i'm down there big foot well the women i'm with they're normally whiteired down there, so it's a Yeti. Those gilfs are fucking rocking.

Hey, a little experience? Yeah, a lot of experience. Worn-out-ass women. In the same way, an initiate of the esoteric knowledge will read the Bible differently to a Christian or Jewish believer. The initiate will recognize the symbolism, the numerology, and the esoteric codes, while the believer takes the text literally. No.

No, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of believers do not take it literally. Yeah, there's a lot of people who don't take it literally. There are some people who do. Yeah, for sure. But literalism is not the only interpretation of the Bible. There are fucking plenty of people who are like, totes metaphor or totes parts metaphor.

Sure, yeah. They pick and choose. So the same text acts as a means of passing on esoteric knowledge to the initiated and creates a prison religion for the masses who are not initiated. Great scam. I like that. Prison religion. Yeah. That's pretty good.

He has absolutely fucking no interest in Christianity. Oh, no. Yeah, he fucking, he does not like it at all. He curb stomps it in this. And the thing is, he may be right with a lot of the things that he's pointing out in this chapter. I don't care to research it to know whether or not he's right. The problem is his conclusions that he draws from

whether or not Christianity is a myth, right? Yeah, right. Because it's like Christianity is a myth and you're like, okay, I got you there. Like, hey man, you don't have to sell me real hard, right? Like I'm already buying. I'm at Menards. You don't have to play the Menards song. Don't play the music. I'm already here. You've got me. And then he's like, so, lizard people? And you're like, what the fucking what? He doesn't even have to get that far. He's just like, so,

vibrational frequencies? And it's just like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't, yeah. What is that? Jesus. When I turn it up to 12 at home, Sarah hates it. You can't start at 12. You gotta work your way up. Yeah, you definitely have to. That's overwhelming.

There is a book called The Bible Code, which claims to have identified a code in the Hebrew version of the Old Testament, which predicts the future. As one of these codes predicted that Lee Harvey Oswald would kill President Kennedy, you'll excuse me if I remain extremely unconvinced about its credibility. I don't believe the book, the Bible code. What do I think? Believe everything I read is true? What am I, some kind of asshole?

Is there anyone left who still believes that Oswald killed Kennedy? But while I question claims in the Bible code, there is a code in the Bible. Dicks. An esoteric code in the Bible. Dicks. An esoteric code for initiates. They either made up characters to fit their symbolism or vaguely based them on living people who they usually massively misrepresented. Here are some examples of codes in the Bible. A common theme in all mystery school traditions is of 12 disciples knights or followers

surrounding a deity the number 12 is a code among other things for the 12 months of the year okay it's a code for months of the year why do i need a code for that i just already have that i need a code for like for like if then when i unravel the code it's like the fucking launch sequence for a nuclear weapon it's not like hey january february march april what are you kidding me i already knew that you need a code word when you're trying to like shoo a salesman off or something right what's What's the outcome? You need a code word if the sex gets too much, right? Exactly, yeah. You need a safe word.

And the houses of the zodiac, through which symbolically travels the sun, the god, symbolized as 13. Wait, 13? 12, 13 is just... Just like a baker's dozen. So we're talking about a dozen before, and now we're talking about a baker's dozen.

This is the sacred 12 and 1, as some people describe it, and it is one major reason why the numbers 12 and 13 keep recurring. Thus, you have the 12 tribes of Israel, 12 princes of Ishmael, 12 disciples or followers of Jesus, Buddha, Osiris, and Quetzalcoatl. There is also King Arthur and his 12 knights of the round table, the Zodiac Circle, Himmler and his 12 knights in the Nazi SS, and the woman, Isis Semiramis, with a crown of 12 stars in the Book of Revelation. Like, you just listed it to so what? So that you found a bunch of 12s.

I know, right? And it's not hard when you look at all of human history to find a bunch of 12s. Yeah, exactly. It's like, hey man, if I'm hunting for 12s and I have an infinite number of, an infinite timeline, an infinite number of people, guess how many 12s you're going to find? What an old fucking lot of them! In Scandinavia, in that whole northern region, you find the Odin Mysteries.

Again, inspired by the same Aryan race from the Near East. In this tradition, you find 12 Drotars presiding over the mysteries with Odin. The sacred 12 and 1 again. These stories are not literally true. They are mystery school symbolism. No, thanks for clearing that up. Oh man, I totally thought the lizard people were actually Norse gods.

That was really going to be difficult to finish the plot of V. No rainbow bridge for us, I guess. This continues today with these same symbols used by the Brotherhood Secret Society Network in national flags, coats of arms, advertising, and company logos. That Brotherhood creation,

the European Union, has a circle of 12 stars as its symbol. We are talking sacred numbers and geometry here. The proportions of Egyptian statues, whether big or small, were multiples or submultiples of 12 or 6. Multiples or submultiples of two different numbers. Yeah.

I can't. So you can factor all of anything in. It's like two, one. Dude, do you play games when you drive with like license plates? Did we talk about this before? Yeah, yeah. You can basically find anything. Yeah, I'll just play number games when I drive.

I take a lot of long drives. I know you do too. Every now and again, I'll play like a fucking numbers game with license plates or whatever numbers you happen to drive past. Yeah, when you drive slow like you, you get passed all the time. That's outrageous. That's outrageous, sir. I now have a red car.

I drive faster in it. Thank you. I drive two miles over the time. That's outrageous. That's outrageous, sir. I now have a red car. I drive faster in it. Thank you. I drive two miles over the limit. You're done explaining now? I don't even want to talk to you anymore. I'm done. I'm done. I quit the show.

No one will notice. So true. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. All right, this story also from Right Wing Watch.

This is Alex Jones. Fucking Alex Jones. You know what's distressing, Cecil? I actually found a number of assholes who did the same thing, but this one's Alex Jones, so he just yells. It's fun. Alex Jones blames the Orlando massacre on the LGBTQ community. Oh, well, that's loving.

Let's hear what fucking Pudgeface has to say here. This gentleman was openly claiming responsibility, and he had been watched for two years. They knew he was about to do it, but were ordered to stand down. Okay, how is that fucking substantiated again? They were ordered to stand down? I love it when they say shit like that. When they say, oh, well, they were ordered to stand down.

Man, if the government's given out orders to stay, like the law enforcement hand, to stop someone from executing 56 people, you don't think you just became expendable by letting everybody know? If the government's willing to kill 56 people, like, at whim, they don't give a shit? Like, you think you letting out the fucking cat out of the bag on your shit show is going to fly? They'd be like, oh, Mr. Alex Jones. He opens the door and he's dead. And they'd be like, oh, yeah. And then we take the body and he's never seen from again. You know what I mean?

Like, fucking this dude is gone forever. They'll Pulp Fiction that motherfucker, right? Seriously, man. They will take him. They will take that guy and then fucking call the wolf. Exactly. And they'll Pulp Fiction that motherfucker. And the thing is, is like, this is the universe this guy lives in where the government has every ability to do this instantly.

Like, they'll drop the men in black helicopters and come get you. Just like San Bernardino. And it took until later in the afternoon, eight, nine hours after everybody had gotten up and knew about this horror, for the media to go, okay, it's Islamic terror. But Obama wouldn't say that. He said it's an attack on us all

because an attack on a gay nightclub is just the heart of everything. So it's an attack on us all. Because it's an attack on humanity. Because it's an affront to our dignity as people. Yeah. Because it's an affront to our dignity as people. Like, fuck you! Yeah. It is an affront to our dignity as people that we live in a world and in a society where

one person can walk into a nightclub and shoot a hundred fucking people in a matter of a minuscule amount of time, you know, and leave 49 people dead as a result. That's the affront on our humanity. And my issue is I hate any group of people being attacked, period. But now we're going to hear the grandstanding and the LGBT training of the kids in school, and America did this, and this is part of the hate. This guy killed more homosexuals than every gay basher

has done in the U.S. the last 50-plus years. I mean, there might be one death a year, and they act like it's the end of the world. Well, it is for someone. Yeah, it's that and in that person's world. If it's once, it's too much. Yeah. Beating someone to death because of their sexuality is if it happens a single time. It should just never be done at all.

Like, why can't like, why can't we just make a de minimis problem? Like, no, it's not a be done at all. Like, why can't we just be like, oh, it's a de minimis problem? Like, no, it's not a de minimis problem. Like, it should never occur. It should just, if it occurs one time, we have work to do. Yeah. And we should look at ourselves and say,

we have work to do. There's nothing wrong with looking at yourself and saying, I look at myself all the time. Like, I have so much work to do. I'll never get it done. We should look at ourselves as a society and say, we have work to do i'll never get it done we should look at ourselves as a society say we've worked to do let's do that work yeah well it's and it's not just one guy getting attacked right like that's the thing is like okay one guy dies from an attack

but but how many people how many yeah and how many people how many people get beat up a year how many people get you know they're the shit kicked out of them for being gay how many and how many how many much smaller events are there? How much bullying is there? I mean thankfully I think there's a lot less so now. There's a lot less now, yeah. And geographically I know it's different. And I think that more and more people are accepting people that are gay in a larger way.

I just think it's happening more and more where people are just realizing it's not a big deal. And generationally that's right. Generationally that's a big deal. So you're just like, yeah, is it slowly descending? Are there tons of people dying? No, but is it still a problem? Fuck yeah, it's still a problem, you asshole.

Fuck off. Anybody else gets mugged and killed, it's not even in the newspaper hardly. Bullshit, dude. Plus, motivation matters when we're talking about the work we have to do as a society. Yeah, that's just a shitty thing to say.

But also, it's just not true. Watch the fucking news in Chicago, dude. It makes the news when people get killed. It makes the news when people get mugged. You get fucking raped or mugged in a rich neighborhood in Chicago, it's the first thing they talk about. It's the first thing they talk about. Murder in Lincoln Park, first thing they talk about. Murder on the West Side, That'll be about 20 minutes

into the fucking news broadcast. If it makes it. Yeah. But it becomes this giant cause celeb end of the world. The guy goes and does it and you want my guns! And you'll use it to say, oh, there's all these crimes against gay people.

Let us educate your kids so you would sexualize my children and indoctrinate them into your cult. It's a ridiculous, fanciful notion. It's a fantasy world to think the kids of most ages are not sexualized at some point. Maybe they don't understand exactly what all that business is, but it does not take the world to sexualize kids. It just takes puberty.

Yep, that's it. That's all it takes. There's a fucking flood of hormones. Your fucking business starts changing. And you're like, I can do the what with the who now? And it's just, that's it. That's all it is. The rest is education.

The rest is how to keep safe and keep disease free and keep from impregnating or being impregnated. That's it. Be safe. Have fun. Don't shit out kids until you're ready to shit out kids. That's it. I mean, it's just, you actually out kids until you're ready to shit out kids. That's it. I mean, it's just, you actually start reading the Koran and the Hadith and all this stuff. It is mind-blowing.

And I've bought copies from official Islamic publications. Official certified. Oh, wow. I got a copy from an actual Muslim. So there we go. It's okay. I can say the N-word. I got a black friend an actual Muslim. So there we go. It's okay. I can say the N-word. I got a black friend.

Right? Right? I didn't get out of the Captain Crunch box. Sony text. And it is freak show, folks. Freak show. Am I supposed to be impressed? That he bought a Koran?

You can buy a fucking Koran at Barnes & Noble. No, he bought it certified, though. He said certified. I don't think there's a certification. There's a certification process. Does Allah come down and stamp the fucking thing? No, it just works its way through the chopper offer machine. And if it makes its way through...

It's a combination chopper offer bookbinder? Yeah. That's it. It just shaves the pages. Cuts the pages on that one side there's a headline daily caller anti-pedophilia bill rejected in pakistan as anti-islamic boom wow so no wonder the radical left's allied with islam they're just a bunch of perverts they want access to our kids to bring they want to sexually mutilate our women and put and put hoods over their heads no you, you're not going to do it.

I get to hear all day because I'm a nationalist and pro-Second Amendment that I hate gay people. That's how the left makes themselves cause celebs and victims. Oh, look at me. What I hate is all the fake flamboyant. You're going to run society. You're going to tell our five-year-olds how to live because they need some LGBT training. You're going to tell our five-year-olds how to live because, you know, they need some LGBT training because, you know, there's so much homophobia in the West where you can live in peace and be left alone and not killed. Fifty people were just killed.

And also, what is he saying? You can live in peace and be left alone and not killed. That's bullshit. Be left alone? Well, you know, up until recently, your marriage wasn't fucking. Yeah, up until like an hour ago. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's that fucking recent. It's recently, your marriage wasn't fucking. Yeah, up until like an hour ago. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's that fucking recent.

It's that where your marriage wasn't recognized. Right. Or you couldn't get married. You know, there's still plenty of states where they can discriminate against you. That's not leaving you alone, dude. That's just a lie. It's just a fucking lie. You know what this is?

He's saying it's worse over there. So let's not pay attention to it here. Let's forget about all the fucking injustices that happen here because we're not killing you. Right, exactly. The government just isn't killing you. The government isn't chucking you off a building, so therefore you should fucking thank your lucky stars, you gay cocksucker,

that I didn't chuck you off a fucking building. Oh, thanks, Alex Jones, you pudgy fuck. Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it. And then you've got the very same left, allied with radical Islam, in the belly of the West, that has given them all this freedom.

And they're desecrating it. They're spitting on it. The only way you can fit it all the way down your throat, though, is to spit on it. I mean, like, you can't just put that fucker in dry. There's no way it's going to go down. I mean, you're just going to choke. There's going to be clucking sounds. It's just not going to work. That's right. You just got to

play it across the lips a little bit first. Let me take a look at it. I just want to see it. You got to get it wet first and then you've got to get a lot of sort of... There's got to be a lot going on because in order to go down that back of that throat... You've got to really lube that thing up. Absolutely. I find mayonnaise helps. You find mayonnaise

helps everything. That's fair. That's fair. No, that's fair. I actually have been. You find mayonnaise helps everything. That's fair. That's fair. No, that's fair. I actually have been meaning to talk to you about that. Yeah, I mean, there's a thick coating of mayonnaise on this table as we speak. I'm so glad that's mayonnaise. Because also, I've been meaning to talk to you. And also, we need a new table.

I'm talking about the LGBT crowd that the media speaks for and that speaks for everybody else and that just sits up there and shoots their mouth off all day about how they control the culture. It's a bunch of bullies who bring in even worse bullies. Double bullies. It's double secret ninja bullies. It's like pitch black. It's where you use evil to fight evil. I'm going to kill you with a teacup.

And are just running around murdering people in mass and so i charge the left and i charge obama and i charge the lgbt community in general with endangering america and with the blood of these 50 plus innocent men and women who did not deserve to die. Well, then you're an idiot. You're just an idiot. You're a fucking fool. If that's who you've decided is culpable for this terrible mass

murder, then you're just a fucking complete idiot. You're a dullard. You're a knuckle-dragging troglodyte you are barely able to consume enough air to keep your fucking one remaining brain cell powering the stem that keeps your heart beating alive you are that fucking monumentally stupid i think one of the things that people gloss over is what's the cause of this? And I mean, there may be a million different causes. Nobody knows the operation of someone's mind, right?

So we don't know what the cause is. They demonize sexuality, especially homosexuality in this country, to such a level that the person had so much self-hatred that they wound up killing other people because of it. That they were so confused about themselves and about how they should feel and society's pressures on them that they fucking snapped. And if homosexuality and being gay and being trans or whatever it is that you want to be was just a normal thing that nobody gave a fuck about, then this guy could be on Grindr

all day with his profile on Grindr and whatever fucking Bumble or whatever it was. I don't even know. I don't think Bumble would be his. It's amazing because it's literally the exact wrong app. Is it the wrong app? It's one where women

pick. Yeah, okay. It's delightfully, perfectly wrong. I think that would be the i think that would be the best app though because they love hanging out with gay guys that's right you know what i mean like they love hanging out with gay guys they love hanging out with gay guys it's the bumble grinder it's like a grinder b but anyway you know like he whatever fucking app this dude wants to be on doesn't fucking matter he can he can be free with his sexuality and then he doesn't hate himself right and then he just lives his life and says hey you

know what once in a while i do this thing or every weekend i do this thing or every night i do this thing and nobody cares because sexuality when you're 18 over nobody fucking judges you sure right and if that was the world we live in maybe the fucking attack doesn't happen because he doesn't have self-loathing. Now, I don't know if that's the, because I don't know the fucking operation of the guy's mind. So we'd like to thank our most recent patrons. Of course, we'd like to thank all our patrons,

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We're going to have a patron-only episode that we will release another hour to hour and a half only for patrons. And we are sort of pushing for a goal. And now one of the things that we hear a lot, especially from people on the right, they talk about people, Tom, that are job creators. They talk about job creators, you know? And I feel like we have an opportunity to become job creators. We're job creators. Because if we reach our next Patreon goal, we will create a job.

A job. A single job, a part-time job. Because we're job creators. And that money comes directly out of Tom's Patreon because Tom doesn't do anything. We had a vote. Hey, hey. No, we had a vote. Hey. The vote that counted

voted you out. First of all, that feels fair. And I'm just going to go with it. Okay. So Tom is paying for an admin person. He's also making a face. But it's a face I'll deal with.

You're the only one. I was thinking about putting up a partition, actually. But a hole in it. But anyway, we're planning on hiring an admin person, someone who will be able to help us. Now, what does that do for the patrons? I mean, like, why do the patrons care? Well, one, it allows us extra time to make sure that we can go through and do our shows a little faster than we normally do. It also puts content on YouTube that's shareable that will help us get more content out there so that you'll have an opportunity to do stuff.

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But if we have someone who is doing some of the work for us, they can be on the ball at making sure we have like two guests a month or something like that. And the first place we're going to look for a person to do this work is our audience. That's going to be the first place we go for. So, so we hope that we can reach that goal. Not only will it help someone in our audience out, especially someone who, you know, wants to, wants to do sort of this sort of work, but then also it will help us out, hopefully making a better show for the pay, for the patrons and for,

and for all the listeners. And there's lots of things Cecil and I have talked about doing, and we just don't have time to put together. We just don't, you know, meetups and things along those lines. We're willing to do them. We want to do them.

We want to do them. We just don't have time. Who has time to put it together? It's not an inconsequential amount of additional time. Yeah, planning. We need to spend our time doing this show. Yeah, and we think we can do a better job of making sure that the show is put out exactly when it needs to be. I mean, it's always out every week.

We don't miss a week. We don't miss a time. We've been doing the show. We've been releasing the show the exact same time and exact same week for 270 episodes. Not missed a beat in a long time. exact same time and exact same week for 270 episodes. So, so yeah, we haven't missed the beat. So, um, so we're still, you know, we're able to put out the show, but, but one of the things that we, that, uh, that we'd like to do is, is do all those other things and, uh, and all the sort of, you know, relationship stuff that comes with having a podcast. And, and it's, and sometimes

that's a little difficult, um, to find time to do. And Tom and I here are only here once a week. So when we come in to the Glorial Studios, we, we try to go through all our email at that time. It'd be much easier if we had an opportunity to do that stuff separately and that sort of thing. And, and you are getting something for your money. So understand that, you know, like when you sign up as a patron, you are getting something you're getting, you're always almost always getting the content days in advance of when other people get it. So you get the show early almost every time. And we also do put out a lot of extra content, you know, like hours, at least an hour to an hour and a half every quarter,

plus extras that we wind up putting in to each show. And Cecil just beat up on Patreon this week to try to improve the player. Yeah, they actually called and interviewed me, and I talked to them about specifically the player and possibly putting in protected RSS feeds. We had a long conversation. Everything with Patreon always seems like they're super happy to hear it, but I have no idea if that's going to lead to anything.

But we want to thank, again, we do really want to thank all our patrons. We really do appreciate all the funds. It's going to wind up taking us to QED this year. The funds are going to go to making sure that we can attend QED. And we're going to be attending two. We decided it's going to be two places in Scotland. Edinburgh. It's Edenburg.

Edenburg. Oh, God. And Glasgow. Edinburgh and Glasgow. Did I do those right? You did it right. Did I do those well? Will you be my translator? Oh, God. And Glasgow. Edinburgh and Glasgow. Did I do those right? You're going to fit right in. Did I do those well? Will you be my translator?

Oh, God, dude. When that guy, we talked to a guy from Glasgow this last week. I don't know his name. I think his name was Hagas. I don't know. It was so funny when he started talking to us, and I just thought, I don't know that I can do this. I'm going to get subtitles for the whole trip.

I'm just going to walk around with a remote, try to turn people on to subtitles. It's going to be exciting, though. But we're going to have a night in Glasgow. We're going to have a night in Edinburgh. And we're going to just enjoy ourselves and have two Skeptic in the Pub meetups in both of those cities

directly after QED this year. We're going to be going to QED. And now it's official. We're going to be doing our very first live showing at QED. We're going to have going to QED, and now it's official. We're going to be doing our very first live showing at QED. We're going to have an hour of mic time, hopefully the last mic of the night, and everybody went to sleep already. I can't imagine anybody's going to want to touch that mic after you've had it. I don't think anybody's going to want to be in the audience anyway,

so not a big deal. They could just burn the whole room. Can you believe we are going to be a source of live entertainment? Live entertainment, yay. Typically, that's a peep show. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I'm going to be giving out a lot of handjobs.

So just bring your own moisturizer. That's all I'm saying because I'm going to run out. There's only so many pumps in the Jorgens. But we are going to be doing a live show there. So QED this year, I think, starts on the 15th and 16th. Now, the 15th and 16th. Now the 15th is a Saturday. The last time I talked to Andy, he had said that they do ignite talks on the 14th. So we're going to be showing up on the 14th morning, probably going to our hotel and then getting

properly pissed for the rest of the day. Yeah. I plan to be drunk the whole time. So I'm going to be drunk during our show that whole day. I want to get fucking – I don't even want to remember. I want to wake up on the airplane home. Here's the thing. No one wants to remember it. Nobody's going to want to remember it. My goal, Cecil, is to go through my phone and think, whoa, whoa, whoa. My goal is to go through my phone and think, thank God that's across the ocean.

Yeah, right? I want to look at it and be like, thank God that's across the ocean. Yeah, right. I want to look at it and be like, I'll make an appointment at a doctor. I'm going to need to get checked out. But the 15th and 16th, we will be at QED. The 17th, we will be in Glasgow. And the 18th, we'll be in Edinburgh. Edinburgh. And so that's going to be a good time.

We're going to be kind of on a little tiny tour over there. But if you want to check us out at QED, um, the tickets are in sale right now. They're 99 pounds. And then, uh, also, uh, you can get in touch. We'll, we'll be putting up links for, uh, in the near future for the, uh, the skeptics in the pub, uh, meetup thing. I suspect there'll be probably some sort of event bright or something that someone will create. Not me. I suspect there will be probably some sort of Eventbrite or something that someone will create, not me, that will be a setup, maybe an admin person of our own. But it's certainly not going to be fucking me. That person will create a – I will Google what Eventbrite is first.

But there will be something put up that will be a way to collate how many people will be showing up and that sort of thing. So there may be a sign-up for it later on. We will keep you posted, but we're just letting you know the dates for sure ahead of time. We also got some PayPal donations, by the way, PayPal donations from Tom, from Darren, and from David. Guys, thank you so much. Remember, PayPal is another way to donate to the show. You can go to our page, dissonancepod.com. You can click on donate. So we got a ton of calls to prayer again. So here's what we're going to do. We're getting about 40 or 50 of these a week. We're playing the ones that are on the top percentage of these. What I will say to you is this, this week's show is going to be coming out

on the 27th. The show that comes out on the 4th of July is going to be the last one I play of these. I will not play any more calls to prayer until next June. So if you are going to create a call to prayer, you can create it this week, and I will play it. But after the 4th of July, and actually, to be honest, we're going to be recording well before the 4th of July. So if you send it on the, on like probably, I would say like if you send it after, you know, if you send it after the 29th, I wouldn't send another one. I would stop after the 29th.

I would say that the 29th is probably your cutoff date to send in a call to prayer. The last call to prayers will be played next week on our release and then that's it. I will not play another one

until next year. That's it. In will not play another one until next year. That's it. In June. We're calling it a night. I'm calling it a night, because this is a lot of calls to prayer, and it's essentially our entire email section. It is.

So let's get started. All right. So this is a call to prayer. I really like this one. A little Star Wars. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allah. Right through, a little TIE fighter.

I love it. That's good stuff. That was from Justin. I love that you knew what it was. I just thought it was a weird sound. That's a TIE fighter sound. I had no idea. I just thought it was a weird sound.

That's Justin. Thank you, Justin. We got a message from someone who used to be a David Icke follower, Tom. Yeah, this is interesting. He said, I want to give you guys a little insight into the mind of this guy who's been on both sides, from the mind of a guy who's been on both sides. Early on, after I became anti-Christian, I drifted into Wicca, paganism, and various other types of woo that made me feel as though I had access to knowledge that nobody else had.

With that mentality, I was a big believer in conspiracy theories and a big listener of Alex Jones, before even Christian-focused. I was one of the many that would wear the 9-11-was-an-inside-job shirts. The conspiracy theorist mentality merging with the belief in Wu was a dangerous combo. When you're set to be focused on being suspicious of anything the government says, and you hear Alex Jones talking about psyops, there was a time where me, along with several other people, and some are still involved, came to the conclusion that Alex Jones talking about psyops. There was a time where me, along with several other people,

and some are still involved, came to the conclusion that Alex Jones was a psyop. Wow, that's like an Ouroboros or something. Right, exactly. It's turtles all the way down. Someone in this group who knew Ike personally told us about his book, The David Ike Guide to the Global Conspiracy.

It covers 90% of the topics Alex Jones talks about in his show, with a few twists. It leaves the lizard people to a minimum, so he sounds less crazy. In our minds, us wondering the motive of why the elites were doing all this, all the long game of conspiracies, why they leave clues that the theorists were able to find, those things were answered when we heard Icke's version. No matter how crazy it sounded, it was an answer,

an answer that already fit our conspiracy-filled heads. I think that's where I want to stop the email reading. I think that's it, right? You already have decided. And now somebody comes in and just backfills. All you're looking for is a

justification. Right. It's interesting. We got a bunch of bumpers. Nick sent in a ton of bumpers, and a lot of them are really great. I don't want to play them all, but I do want to play this one. I love third world Christians. You probably do, too. You know why? Because they don't know any better.

That's amazing. That's fucking outstanding. What a goddamn fucking – Amazing. That's amazing. We got an image. This is from – Le Chien. Le Chien. We got an image. This is from Luke. Luke sent this in.

I couldn't tell you this name at all. I couldn't do this. Locke. Yeah, we're going to go with Luke. Sent in this image for David Icke, and it's awesome, so check it out. Here's something interesting, Tom. Kyle sent this in. This is about the honor killing that happened.

And Pakistani clerics wound up declaring honor killing against Islam. So there is, there are some people out there. Like, you know, we were talking earlier, you know, that there are, you know, that radical Islam and fundamentalist Islam is sometimes hard to find a line, you know, that distinct line that says this is fundamentalist and this isn't. line, you know, that distinct line that says this is fundamentalist and this isn't. And what's great about this is that, you know, there is a group of clerics that are saying, no, honor killing is against what we do. Which I think is awesome. It's a step in the right direction for sure.

Shouldn't even need to be said out loud, but it's awesome. On Patreon, this is something that a bunch of people pointed out, but I'm going to read the irreverent skeptics podcast comment on it. Dude said trans people are.0000001% of the population. That's one billionth of the population. There's seven trans people. Amazing. This one is

from Elvis. Elvis sent this in. This is actually a pretty good bumper. This is good. This is actually a pretty good bumper. This is good. Blood-sucking chupacabra in Puerto Rico, Mexico, Florida, and the Pacific Northwest. And this is the origin of terms like draconian. A word which sounds like dragon. The count symbolizes the aristocratic reptile human cross-breed bloodline. That's what it sounds like when I read it.

It's just word salad. Oh, it's amazing. You know, that one's in the running. I got to say, that one's in the running. It was in the running for the... It's hard not to like Elvis's work. Yeah. Here's a call to prayer.

This one's sent in by Simo. It's just so weird. It's like yodeling, dude. But it's a good yodel. I like that. It is. I'm not a connoisseur of yodeling. I might be now, actually. This one's sent in by Grief Money or Griff Money.

I'm not sure how to pronounce that. This is another call to prayer. Allah-u-Akbar, Allah-u-Akbar. Is this from Never Ending Story? No, it's an anime, but it's from an anime. They said Paranoia Agent or Par... Allah-u-Akbar. Yeah, or paranoia agent. I don't know anything about anime, but I'm willing to learn. A bunch of people sent in this image of, what does this say?

This says, Glorio hole. Glorio hole. Glorio, got it. Glorio hole. Glorio hole, yeah. So a bunch of people sent that in. It's a guy reaching through a glory hole to get an Oreo, which, you know. It's kind of funny.

Look. Hey, maybe. We got it from a lot of people, so it must have tickled a lot of funny. It's like an after dinner mint. I think it's just polite when you're done. Like, here you go. Replenish your blood sugar. You seem sweaty we got a message from uh ryan and ryan wants to know if we will uh

uh ryan wants to know if we'll wish him a happy birthday no ryan we will not no issue a happy birthday i'm sorry happy birthday ryan you know why i won't because this motherfucker hashtag that shit team donut yeah well fucking happy birthday team don't i don't care what that's all i'm saying fucking i'm just saying tom can't tell us the fucking top five danishes he doesn't deserve motherfucker there is a short list of people that are team donut that i actually care about yeah a very short list and you're not on it i don't even care so we got a message this is great this is from joe energy is vibrations don't you know?

They're for lizards. Did you get your dick bit in the glory hole? They're for lizards. Glory hole, motherfuckers. I love it. I like it too. That's great. That's great.

Joe, thank you. Nicely done, Joe. Here's a call to prayer. This one is from Jade. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allah. Here's a call to prayer. This one is from Jade. That's great. The fuck is that? I don't even know what happened.

It's the ending. This one almost did the ending. The ending is what gets me. It's good stuff. The ending is what gets me. This is an Ace Ventura one from Kamanji. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Libby Libby. Jim Jiminy. Jim Jim Charu. Hi. Awesome. Man, I loved Jim Carrey when he did cocaine That was amazing Okay so this is David This is a David Icke bumper This one I really liked I thought it was pretty funny

This is from Jonathan Blizzard men from the sky Controlling us with Fluoride Take a look It's in the book From the sky, controlling us with fluoride. Just take a look. It's in the book. The biggest secret. That's good.

The greatest secret ever. You're a terrible singer. You're not very good at singing, it turns out. Don't do that again. But that one is a very funny one. The Reading Rainbow version of that is very funny. Don't even sing to yourself in the show. Here is another call to prayer

from christopher what all the bitches saying that's great i like that that's good uh here's another uh lizard intro and this one is just fucking crazy this is a fish song evidently that band is garbage And the lizards, they have died. And the lizards, they have died. And the lizards, they have died. And the lizards, they have died. He told me that the lizards were a race of people practically extinct from doing things smart people don't do. He said he was once a lizard, too. This is a terrible song. That really is.

It's a fucking piece of shit. That is genuinely bad. That is an of shit. That is genuinely bad. That is genuinely bad music. That is an awful song. I would rock some hate beak over that. I would almost rather just go deaf. Yeah. I'm going to have to listen to that song.

Permanently deaf. Permanently deaf. All right, here's another call to prayer. This one is from Price. I love it. I love it. This one is from Price. Allah, Allah. I love it. Allah, Allah. I love it.

Yeah. Allah, Allah. Oh, so good. I love it. I love that. Right now, that's my current favorite. That is good stuff. There is a long version and a short version.

The short version is very good. This is Peter. I like it. It's good. Very nicely done. Here's a David Icke interview piece that someone sent for a possible beginning. And these ones, there's a couple of these. These are real, real contenders for what I'm probably going to use. Because this is really something. This is him.

This is kind of exactly what we put in to start out segments. what we put in to start out segments. I met 12 separate people who told me that they had experienced seeing apparently a human shift into a reptilian. Oh, my God. Very great. So good. Great. That is... of amazing.

That's the leader in my opinion right now. That's the leader. Allen's is my leader so far. I still like Elvis. Elvis is good. Elvis is good. I don't know. Maybe we'll flip a coin.

Here is a call to prayer. Now, I got to explain this one. This last week, this is from Jesus Christ. There's little dots. Who's it from? There's little dots above the name. I was waiting for that. Hold on. I'm going to zoom in a little because I don't quite know if I can read that.

Is that an I? That's like an A, I with two O's and an A, and there's dots over everything. There's every conceivable symbol. I'm just going to say it. You ready? Yeah. Vainio. Vainio?

Well, I don't know because he says he does provide a Wikipedia link saying that his name is based off of a mythical warrior poet. And then it has a name. It's like, hey, this will help pronounce it. And then the name that it's cited has 109 letters, and every letter has a fucking squiggle squatch over the top of it of some kind. It's like the whole language is written with squeegees. I can't understand this at all. Yeah, so this guy sent in uh a a call to prayer now this call to prayer

is from this last week when i think it was iceland now this person's finnish i think but the iceland team for some soccer tournament that's happening i only know about this soccer tournament peripherally i was wondering how you knew about soccer anything there's a couple people that are like super soccer enthusiasts on Facebook and they post a bunch of stuff that I'm kind of friends with. So once in a while, I'll see them post something about it. So I don't know what this is. I don't think it's a World Cup

because that's on like a certain number of years. And I don't think that it's I don't think it's the World Cup. But anyway, maybe it is. I don't know. Anyway, I think the Cups in 18. Jesus, man. Nobody cares. Like, no like you're like trying to suss this out i love you buddy but like fucking the only people that care about the world cup are the nine people that play in it and their moms that's fucking it what's awesome is it's like

the most watched sporting event in the world but anyway anyway um building enormous they're already sending you messages they're already angrily typing out messages. I love soccer so much. But anyway, it's this soccer tournament that's going on. And I guess Iceland wasn't expecting to get into the final 16. And the Icelandic announcer that is announcing this thing seriously loses his voice in the middle of screaming that somebody shot a goal and got a goal. And I watched the play and it's actually funny because this guy just like, he just loses it. And you can't understand a word he says. All it sounds like is like someone

accidentally hit themselves in the dick with a hammer. So this is, this is what he put inside of his call to prayer. Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! See? And they're enjoying the hammer thing. He's so excited! He's so excited!

His voice essentially blew out. He could not handle the excitement. Never. I have seen the birth of my children, and I have not been that excited. This guy was super excited, bro. This guy was super excited. Wow. We got a message from Catherine, and Catherine wanted to know,

she's being confronted by people at her work that are religious that know she's not religious. people at her work that are religious that know she's not religious. And their main point is that you could, if you believed, you would understand, kind of, is the main point. They keep on sort of going after her. And they won't let it go. They won't let it go.

How do you handle coworkers that consistently bring stuff like this up? I brush them off. Yeah? Yeah. I would just brush. But I got to say, like, I'm actually... I'm coming at this from a different angle

because... You're the manager. Yeah, I'm the boss. Like, so if somebody... And... But, all right, so I don't really have any contemporaries

that I think would do that. I just am not in that position. But I think if I was in that position, I would just sidestep it and blow the conversation off because there's nothing good to be gained from it. I'm not going to gain anything from that conversation. So I would just blow the whole conversation off and switch the topic or something else. I've been asked, but I've never been, nobody's ever been aggressive. So I've had

people that are my equals say to me, hey, why don't you believe? Or when did you stop believing? Those types of things. Because I do work with a lot of religious people. And so I will happily answer anyone's questions. I'm never afraid to answer any questions. If somebody asks me a question like, why don't you believe anymore? Shit, you got a few minutes?

Let's talk about it. I'll tell you. I have no issue. I'll tell you. So it doesn't bother me if it happened, but it doesn't happen all the time because once I tell them once, if they came back the next day and said, so wait, you really don't believe it? Be like, we talked about this already, and I'm done talking about this. So I feel like at a certain point, if you've explained everything you think you can explain, then I would just stop the conversation. you can explain, then I would just stop the conversation. And if it's uncomfortable around coworkers, you know, I don't, I mean, in my opinion, you try to make the best relationship

you can at work, but these are people that you don't choose. You know what I mean? Just like there's some people in your life that you have to try to get along with, even though if you, you know, you didn't choose them, you just have to fucking suck it up. Like your in-laws, you know, are people you didn't technically choose. You know what I mean? You can stop getting along with them if you didn't choose them, you just have to fucking suck it up like your in-laws are people you didn't technically choose. You can stop getting along with them if you want. Yeah. Oh, no. I know, Tom.

Yeah. But there's people that you choose, you just don't choose. And sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don't. And the people that you don't get along with, you try to – I know I try to separate myself from as much as possible. So I think, you know, it's difficult to navigate that, that workplace, you know, relationships. But I think you always have to remember that you didn't choose these relationships. So if they do go south, eh. Here's a, see now this is why we're becoming yodeling connoisseurs, Tom.

This is another yodeler. I don't even know. Called a prayer from James. I don't even know.odeler. I don't even know. Called a prayer from James. I don't even know. With chickens. I don't even know. Chickens, though. I don't even know. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Why? Why? Because fucking, if you can

that's how this works every chance i get that's awesome never want to hear about it it's not very often all right so that was that was james thanks james here's another david ike uh submission. This one is from Brad. Again, another very good one, although this is from his earlier days before he thought up the lizards. Well, now, let me get this story right. The press claim that you claim to be the son of God. Is that true?

Yes. You see, the thing is that it's quite funny, really. You know, 2,000 years ago, had a guy called Jesus sat here and said these same things, you would still be laughing. It's really funny that we've not really moved on that much. But no, it's a... But just let me say this. They're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.

It's fine. So mean. It's so mean. So true, though. I know. It's just like, everyone thinks you're full of shit. We got a bunch of awesome

calls to prayer. Of course, I can only play one submission from one person every time. Zach, the apostate, sent in a bunch of these. Now, we're going to wind up playing the opera one, but two other ones were very good that we really liked. We also liked

Great Jihad in the Sky and Run Around Jew. I liked the Run Around Jew. Tom was a fan of Run Around Jew. That was mine. But I'm going to play Die Muslim Flute. Die Muslim Flute.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. That's awesome. That is spliced so well. It really is. It is really, really done well. I want to play this one too. This is the last one we're going to play tonight. This is Jose.

He sent in a call to prayer that I want to play here. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. This fucking song. Allah is the greatest. That's the sound of someone gagging in a cock. Thank you, Jose.

So remember, this is your last week, guys, because I'm going to stop playing these and then we're going to get back to our real email all day all night i can't wait where people just send us funny pictures that was 26 minutes of call the prayers amazing that's so much call the prayer so uh we are gonna play out uh on this this week's show we're actually gonna play out um a uh someone sent in a skeptics creed this week's show, we're actually going to play out, um, a, uh, someone sent in a skeptics creed this week and they did such a good job. It's great.

It's great that, uh, that we are going to, uh, wind up, uh, closing out the show with this skeptics creed. This one is from Daniel.

So we're going to close out the show, um, with the skeptics creed. We'll see you guys next week. Credulity is not human intelligence. It's effervescent glowage of spirit wild backstrap jihadi celebration. Couched in scientician double bubble. Flaming butthole.

In trouble. Pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurizedized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing. Right-wing and bitter, clinging, proud clingers. Late-night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage. A aloe in him. I don't know. Green tea. So nice. Churches, mosques, and synagogues.

Temples, dragons, giant flaming buttholes, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts. Let me tell you, I think I like anal sex. I think I like bestiality. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, And bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Flaming butthole! That's great. That's great.

That is superior to the original in every single way. You know what, I hear that. In every single way. I hear that so frequently. Yeah. Yeah. From every second version of me. Ha ha ha! The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only.

Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. so so Can we just... I know, let's talk about guns for a minute. Let's just go that direction for just a second. It's a fucking gun. All I have to do is point it in the general direction of something I want there to be a hole in, whether that's a person or a target or a whatever, and I go, and I pull the trigger,

and if my aim is true, there's now a hole in that thing. Sure. It is a machine designed specifically to punch holes through shit. Has one purpose, and you're not putting a deck in with it. You know what I mean?

You're not fucking riveting steel with it or whatever. And my right, I feel like that's insulting, my right to own that fucking machine. And let's be clear, I own five of them. Yeah. I own five guns.

Yeah, I own three. Yeah. So, but my right to own that machine is infringed upon if it's slightly less convenient. Yeah. What's hilarious is the Republicans don't want want they want no restrictions on buying a gun but you need like fucking you need like your mom to come in and tell them it's okay if you want to vote you know what i mean like it's like right like if you want to if you want to actually vote in this country you need id and you've got to go through all this process but if you want a gun

dude try to get a passport yeah try to get a passport for a minor child i fucking it took me like three tries to get a passport for my kid it was the most fucking labyrinthine fucking byzantine process i've ever had to navigate in my life it's like as a as a as a man separated where i couldn't bring my ex-wife into the building i had to have fucking shit notarized i had a shit that was notarized, notarized by the notary. It was fucking my triplicate was duplicate. It was outrageous. It was an outrage to try to get that fucking document.

Yeah. It was insane. Sure. I understand. And I understand why. The thing is, though, I understand why it is. Yeah. Right.

I get it. Right. But to go get a gun, you show up at the store. You're like, well, I'll take that hefty fella. And then they take your money. And then three days later but to go get a gun you show up at the store you're like well i'll take that hefty fella and then they take your money and then three days later they hand you a gun that's literally the only fucking that's three days later you walk in and they keep it in the safe in the back room yep and then you walk in and say i would like to i would like to have that gun and they say yep it's your gun you paid for it or you didn't pay for it you put a money down for it and then you come in and you buy it right and that's your fucking gun then you can walk over and be like thank you for the gun i'm

now holding in my left hand i would like to purchase an unlimited supply of ammunition yeah and they will happily sell that to you yeah it is and all we're trying to do is make it a little bit less convenient so that if you happen to be on a terrorist watch list They can watch to see if you're a terrorist first. I'm flabbergasted that this is even a conversation. But the thing is, I think it's all that give them an inch and they'll take a mile sort of thing. And I wanted to talk just for a second. Since we're on the topic of guns, I might as well bring it up. A bunch of people talking about how other countries have done this.

Other countries have banned guns. Other countries have banned guns. Other countries have banned guns. And I've always been of the mind that if they pass the law that says your guns are no longer viable, you need to turn them in. We'll have a buyback or whatever, whatever it is. I will happily take my guns. As long as I know no one has guns, I will happily take my guns to whatever place, the scrapyard, whatever it is, and give my guns to an authorized person and be done with them.

I like to shoot. I have a very expensive trap gun that I really love to shoot. I recently bought a pistol, and I have a rifle. I have basically all three of the guns. All three of the guns. And I like each one of those guns, but I happily give them away. The thing is,

I wonder about the banning of guns. And this is what comes up. A lot of people say, look, Australia did it. Look, England has it. They don't have guns. And now that's not totally true. They do have some people

do have access to guns, but they don't have access to the kind of guns we do. And there's a big long process to get them. They don't have the generalized access. Yeah guns but they don't have access to the kind of guns we do and there's a big long process they don't have a generalized access yeah they just don't have general access and you know you can own one if you can like show a purpose for it so like if you're a fucking i think in if you're like fucking you got to shoot a dingo or whatever and you're like yeah they'll give you a rifle or whatever but anyway or shotgun or something. But anyway, the thing I wonder is, is, and I'm going to bring an analogy in for years and years and years and years, Chicago had gun policy, right?

And their gun policy was no handguns in Chicago. You had to have a, there was a D there was a permit later. They actually opened it up for permit. I don't know if initially it was just a complete handgun ban, but you had to have a permit to have a hand. Maybe you couldn't even have a handgun. You had to have a permit to have any other guns or something. They had a permitting process, but it was something about you had to have gun. There was a lot of permit problems with that. And I think there was a handgun ban, right? So you couldn't own a handgun. No handguns at all. And the problem is, is that we're so close to all these little neighboring communities. The suburbs are close by.

Indiana is close by. You can essentially just get a gun anywhere else and then just drive home with it. It's really not that big a deal, right? The handgun bans did nothing here because guns would bleed in from the outside. There's no way you could wall up the city and then be like, well, no guns can get in now and take away all the handguns. Because the Chicago border, like any other border, is an imagination. Exactly. It's a fabrication. And I wonder if like those island nations of the UK and of, you know, Australia, you know, we have two very large borders, you know,

the southern border, which constantly has, you know, people traveling it, crossing it, you know, coming into our country. The same thing, you know, the northern border is not really patrolled that much. I mean, I'm sure it is, but it's thousands of miles. It's thousands of miles. And, you know, I mean, it's wilderness for most of it. I understand that, you know, you could easily probably, you know, travel in with, you know, some guns probably in a boat, I'm sure, to the UK somewhere. You could probably leave from some other country. But it's a different story.

But it's definitely a different story, right? Right. And I wonder if we would – if we do do that ban, if it's just that the black market prices are not all that expensive to get an actual gun because they're they're they're always coming in just like drugs just because there's no way to stop the drugs you just they just keep coming in and in and in and in and you just create a black market for them where people are now selling guns instead of drugs i think a gun ban is a great sounding idea i am pro nobody i am actually pro citizens probably don't need them like i know right fucking send me all your email. I did. And I, again,

I'll iterate. I have five. Yeah, I have five. Okay. So, but, but do I think that they're a necessary?

No, you know, I'm not, they're not stopping me from the tyranny of King George, right? It's fucking retarded. And anybody who thinks that it protects them or protects their family or keeps the government out, Joe Bittner, you're,

you're, you're just flat out fucking wrong. It's absurd. But I think you do have to pause and consider the reality of the United States culture, our history, and the fact that we have 300 million guns in circulation. 300 million guns. We are terrible at prohibition. We simply did a terrible job when we did prohibition on alcohol,

prohibition on drugs is an abject failure. A prohibition on firearms would be an abject failure as well. They're not terribly complex devices. They're just not. It's a tube that holds a bullet and a striker. I mean, that's the nuts and bolts of it. I've seen on video where you can manufacture the fucking

thing in those laser 3D printers. You can manufacture a weapon that way. I think we have to recognize that guns are part of our culture. And if they're going to be part of our culture, we need to be smart about how we integrate them into our culture, how we treat them in our culture, how we behave around them in our culture. We need to make them harder to get at the wrong times. I do think that. Like, certain people should have a real hard time getting a gun that's that's it that's that's just it i think you got to register for it i think that's reasonable i think you got a test for i

think you should have to have a doctor's note to be perfectly honest it's just i'm not fucking crazy i got i i got to say one other thing too i look on my my foid card and my foid card is the thing that allows me to have a gun in illinois right so So it's the one thing that allows me to, to, to own a gun in Illinois. What'd you have to do to get that? All I had to do was write a, write out a form that said I wasn't crazy. I mean, it seriously was ridiculous. And I bought a gun recently. And in order to do that, it was again, a checkbox form. Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. Are you crazy? No, I blah, blah, blah, whatever. You just, you just do the checks yeah um i had to read it because one of them was yes and the rest of them were no that's true yeah the first the first one was yes

and the rest were no just so you know guys i'm giving you the cheat sheet to buy a gun in illinois but uh but one of the things that that uh that disturbs the fuck out of me about that void card is my void card doesn't expire now i got it i want to say five years ago. No. Yeah. Maybe it could have been because I've been at my house for like six years. So I got it when I moved to my, cause my, my FOID card address changed and I had to get a new one cause my address changed. So I sent in a brand new one, provided the picture. I provide the picture. Weird as fuck as that is. I send that picture in and then I give them that FOID card. That FOID card goes, and I got that FOID card. It expires in 2020.

Yeah. And I'm just like, 2020, and I got it, you know, I think in like 2010. They're good for a decade. Maybe nine. They're good for a decade. Can you snap mentally in a decade? I think it's possible, right? You probably could do it in a weekend.

I know that it's – we've had friends that have had mental health issues that they did not have one. And then later, and I mean, not much later, they had one. They had one. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to make it mandatory to make sure that someone checks me up every year. I have to have some sort of eval every year. And I know what the problem is, is that everybody will say, well, well, now you're infringing on the rights because what if the doctor doesn't like you and says you can't own guns, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's all this bullshit. They do all these what ifs. And you're like, well, just make a good process and you should be okay. But the fact is, is like,

you know, you can have a fucking mental breakdown in 10 years, you know, fucking, you could have it in a year, but 10 years at least. Yeah. There's nothing that guarantees that I don't use those guns on my family. On my family, myself. Or, you know, fucking just sit up here with a fucking, you know, a fucking whole cart full of ammunition. Just shoot the fuck out of anything that goes by. You know what I mean?

I was reading the other day that like the sixth or seventh leading cause of death for men is suicide. And the presence of a firearm in the house kicks that rate of suicide up like 11 fold. Jesus Christ. Like 11 fold. Because it's just so easy. It's just sitting right there. Yeah. You know, it's, it, it's, it, guns are not things that we should just have just casual access to.

We just shouldn't. It's fucking wrong.