Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 306: Juggle my Poké Balls

Episode Date: July 18, 2016

  We transfer link:    

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Happy birthday, you rock. I'm one of your flock. I got you a present. It's a big long black cock. hey just want to say happy birthday cecil uh this is ken from california just want to say love the podcast you guys helped me through a lot of uh boring time at work so i just want to say i appreciate it happy birthday have a good one brother glory hole gentlemen and happy birthday to cecil from sunny australia we you. We appreciate you. And look, there's no shame in being nearly 35. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Cecil.

I'm a motherfucker. Keep doing it forever. Howdy, guys. This is Jim Bob Aruba. And I just wanted to say, happy glory hole, dear Cecil. Happy glory hole to you. Happy birthday dear Cecil. Happy glory hole to you.

Happy birthday, Cecil. Well, hi, Cecil. I heard it was your birthday. And I would be remiss if I did not wish you a happy birthday. So here it goes. a happy birthday. So here it goes. Alright fellas,

it's Dave Thomas from the UK. Just ringing to wish Cecil a happy birthday. So happy birthday from England. Glory up. Hey, I am calling because I heard it is Cecil's birthday.

I just wanted to say that I think the dentist from Minnesota killed the wrong Cecil. Happy birthday, Cecil. Hey, Tom and Cecil, this is Kirsten from down in Texas. And yes, there are some of us here in Texas that have brains. Anyways, from all the people here, from all the teachers, love you so much. Love your show. And Cecil, happy birthday to you. Have a great one, guys. Bye. Hi, Cecil. This is Kay from Florida calling to wish you a happy birthday on behalf of all of your lizard Illuminati. We hope you have a marvelous day. Bye. This is Alex Jones. I was calling to wish Cecil a happy birthday.

And even though he is the latest global scum pushing the New World Order agenda, happy birthday and glory hole. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this episode 306. And were you able to successfully manage the food garbage over there? You got everything? This place is getting pretty disgusting. It's getting pretty bad in here. I noticed the same thing.

There's like, I don't want to say there's like a fucking crumb graveyard underneath me, but it's like the elephants would bury their dead over here. And they wouldn't have to, they wouldn't have to, they wouldn't have to dig very deep. Right. They're like mourning.

They're fucking trying to, that's the sound they make. That is the sound they make. Yeah, that is the sound they make. Thanks. No, that's exactly it. it yeah i wouldn't be surprised if one broke through the door it's like waiting in the elevator it's got its black suit on waiting to go to the go to the funeral and it heard you and it's like oh that's the morning sound as it listens to the

music in the elevator tap against enormous foot We have firmed up our plans today. I think everything is now, all our ducks are in their proverbial rows for our QED travel adventure. I think we're all set. We're going to be in Manchester, and then we're going to be in Glasgow and Edinburgh. Pretty pumped. And we're going to be doing a show in QED, which should be announced probably when this show releases. The day this show releases, we should be on the QED site or later on in the day we'll be on in the QED site. That's what they told me.

We are officially part of a program. Yeah, I know. It's a little scary. Goddamn, there's some low standards overseas. Yeah, no. I mean, Brexit. overseas. Yeah, no. I mean Brexit, so... But in any case, we'll be at QED

for a live show. We may be doing a thing with the Scathing Atheists crew there on stage, maybe for one or two different things. I gotta practice my pole dancing. I know. It's not good right now. It's really not good right now. They also have

to get a structural engineer to get a pole in there so uh marsh if you're listening uh part of the budget for qed goes to structural engineer be sure to earmark that dollars there's a whole pulley and fucking winch system several small boys yeah that's not even to lift you that's just you that's just a requirement it's like it's like David Lee Roth and green M&Ms. You just need several of them in the green room for you. I gotta have something to eat. And then

after that's over, we're going to be doing two Skeptic in the Pub, one in Glasgow on the 17th and one in Edinburgh on the 18th. Those are still when those things get announced fully, we will let you know. We'll put all the details for those things on Facebook, on Twitter, and on our website. We'll make sure to make sure that everybody knows where they're at.

And the scathing crew is going to be joining us for those. So the scathing crew is going to be at both of those. So if you don't like it. We just can't quit. Of course. The thing is, though, like, I don't even know why I say that, because if you listen to the scathing atheist and us, you already knew. And if you don't listen to us and only listen to scathing atheists, then this isn't even going to reach you.

It's not even going to reach you. You won't hear this anyway. No way this can reach you, you asshole. But no, we're looking forward to that. That should be a lot of fun. We had a great time when we hung out with you. They're like our Brokeback Mountain people. They are.

We had a great time when we hung out with Noah and Heath when we were down in Grayson Con. Great is sort of a strong term. We had an acceptable time. You were drunk for most of it anyway. What are you talking about? That's true. That's true. The parts of it that I have pictures of, which I should remember and don't, I appear to be having quite the time.

You have a wonderful time there. So that should be a great time. We're looking forward to that. We are. So Cecil, happy birthday. Oh, thank you. It was the last week, but it was when we recorded. You're old, man. I'm old. You know, the nice thing about being

old is you get older every... It doesn't get any better. You know what I mean? Like, all the best years of your life are now behind you. It does not, my friend. And you get to look at that long, slippery downhill slope and decline into- It's awesome to run into people that are just sort of like mid thirties now.

And then they start to talk about like how their body isn't recovering as well. Like, oh man, messed up my shoulder. And like, it's just like for weeks, it just won't go in. I'm like, hey. You just can't help but smile and be like, yeah. No, buddy, you don't look a day over 48. I know.

I mean, you look terrible. I know, I'm doing good. I'm doing good for 75. A day over 48, I'll take it. That's awesome. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. It's fucking amazing.

This is from Right Wing Watch. This is Rick Wiles. This is not going to be the first or last story wherein the Christian nut huts get fucking worked up about Pokemon Go. Yeah. Which is just a fucking straight delight that they're going to lose their fucking minds over Pokemon Go. So here's Rick Wiles from his shit show, whatever it's called on American Family Stuff.

True news. Here we go. These Pokemon creatures are like virtual cyber demons. Okay, we just stopped there. I think we can just stop there. It's perfect. He sounds mad that people won't play with his pokey balls. I think that's what it is.

He's super upset. Just fucking ask a little nicer. You know what I mean? It's part of the program. And actually, don't poke at the balls that much. No, it's not a poking. It's not a poking, but you can catch them. You can try to catch them all if you want.

That's fine. Put them fucking before it goes in your pokedex. I'll tell you what. Before you squirtle. Yes. Digital demons. Digital demons. One, zero, zero, one.

Digital demons. You're fucking idiots. Digital demons. Now, so this is where this starts to get weird. If it's not weird yet. It's not. It's not. It's a video game. Somebody sat down and was like,

what about if they catch them all? The other guy was like, yeah, they got to. That was it. That's the whole fucking thing. It's actually kind of a cool phenomenon. It is a really neat phenomenon. Pokemon Go is awesome. I don't do it. I haven't played it. I'm not really interested in it.

I'm very happy that people are into something. You know what I mean? That's fun for them. Like, I don't care what it is, as long as it's not killing or hurting other people. But if you don't like something, shouldn't you shit on it? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

But I love that people are excited about it. And it's constantly all over my Facebook while people are talking about it, they're showing pictures of it. And I'm like excited that people are happy about something. Like, I think it's neat. I think it's great. And it's a really neat, it's not only just digital, like virtual,

it's the people are meeting each other in the real world and talking and, you know, trading like, Hey, did you get this thing? And whatever. Right. I think it's really neat. I think it's very cool. So I'm excited for people that, you know, and I'm not even doing it. It's kind of a socially responsible game, right?

Cause it's, it's designed and created to encourage people to go out, meet other people, be outside, walk around, get some fucking exercise. Like, it's kind of neat. It's like a socially, it's a game that has, like, the potential to have positive social effects. It's going to get weird. So this morning, Doc and Edward and I are in an editorial meeting. I cannot believe they have an editorial meeting. I would fucking give so much money to sit are in an editorial meeting. I cannot believe they have an editorial meeting.

I would fucking give so much money to sit on that editorial meeting. That's like calling what we do an editorial meeting before we start. We're just eating burritos and fucking bullshitting with each other. We're talking about the topics for today's program. And Pokemon Go was one of the topics. Right. Now, this is before the police officers showed up. Right.

We're talking about pokemon go and edward and doc said rick we're gonna we're gonna present to you a really far out idea about pokemon go how in the world is saying something in the world that you don't like or that other people might find interest in demonic, a wild idea in these guys. Because everything's fucking demonic. It's all demonic. Every leader in our fucking government is partially demonic. They're all antichrists.

Every opposing religious viewpoint is demonic. Every fucking pop singer is demonic. I mean, everything's demonic, man. Food, everything you like, like food, caffeine, drugs, sex, everything's demonic. If it's awesome, it's demonic. What if this technology is transferred to Islamic jihadists? Transferred?

They can already download it! The app is free! And Islamic jihadists have an app that shows them where Christians are located, geographically. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How about a church? How about the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of churches

all throughout the United States? But Tom, the difficulty about the church thing is when would they go? Because it would be hard to decide. When would the Christians gather into one place? I can't figure it out. What are they, the dumbest fucking terrorists that have ever fucking lived ever? You could have a phone with an app that would lead you to the physical locations of these strong christian leaders but if you had all that information you could already have that app

you could already have that information i don't need pokemon to do this like the thing is exactly i'll just hand you a piece of paper with addresses why not just put it in a google maps right why do i need an app that makes it look like I'm fucking collecting demons? But this is no more dangerous than a Rolodex, right? It's not even that. The thing is, none of those things are true, first off, right?

There's fucking... Maybe a pastor's home has a fucking Pokemon in it. Maybe it doesn't. Whatever. It's random. It's totally random, so who cares? But the fact is, you you wind up at the if you were to just if you were to just have that information already then why wouldn't you just have that information right somebody has in his fucking crazy scenario some evil ne'er-do-well has a a master list yeah of pastors and deacons and it's it's it's a master list of all the fucking i know right it's a master list. Yeah, of pastors and deacons. And it's a master list of all the fucking, I know,

right? It's a master list of all the fucking pastors and deacons and elders and Jedi or whatever the fucking. So why wouldn't you just put that in a fucking Excel spreadsheet and sort it by location and then just go on a fucking shooting spree. Or distribute it to all your minions because I think that's

what he's trying to say is that the minions that could download an app, well, they could also just fucking get it texted to them. Put it on Google Doc. I mean, like, it's like there's already apps for this. I don't need Pokemon Go. It's the least efficient way to spread this information. And what we found was startling about where these Pokemon congregate. So Edward and another employee jumped in their vehicle and took off.

I said, go check it out in Vero Beach. Edward, you were gone for a couple hours. Tell us what you found. This is Vero Beach today. What did you find? Well, we found the churches in our area were all portals. They were portals. That's the wrong game, dude.

That's the wrong game. Portal's a totally different game. Rally points where you could go put down a bot bait or basically this is where you can go to find and capture these demons. It's on the app. The app will lead you to that church. These are the same fucking idiots. These are the same idiots, though, that were like back in the fucking 90s

when they said Judas Priest made the boy kill himself. And they played a record backwards. They put the... In a fucking album. And some fucking dude killed himself because he's your brain can somehow decipher that even though your conscious brain is like that sounded like this is same thing right it's the same thing right it's exactly it's actually a little worse this you're gonna go and put your portals down in front of the if you're fucking on sacred like first of all don't you think your god

protects you first off right if if i am if this really were like demonic spirit demon portal fucking video games i can't do it wait a minute i'll I'll try. Hold on. Why would I put the door in front of your church? It'd be like, hey, man, I got a great idea. We're going to rob a bank by tunneling through the police station. What is fucking wrong with you? What is fucking wrong? And we're actually going to start the tunnel in the fucking police commissioner's office.

It's the perfect crime. Right? And we're going to use his fucking wife as a shovel. When you drive around Vero Beach, Florida with your Pokemon Go app open, are you telling me that the cyber demons that have been placed by this game in vero beach that they are primarily located in vero beach churches yes the ones i found were in churches hospitals or medical facilities and malls fucking Fucking. Okay. So again, where there's people, there's the things where the people play the game.

Huh? Imagine that. Super weird. You know what I found at the dog park? Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Hospitals, shopping malls, and churches.

Right. And we weren't the only ones to find this. No. Anybody with the app could fucking find it. I hope somebody came up to him and asked him if they caught a Squirtle. Oh, God, that'd be the best. Not yet, but I'll keep trying. Trying for years, my friend.

I'm starting to think he's mythical. I believe this thing is a magnet for demonic powers. Drive around your city and see where the Pokemon demons are located. You will find that they're in the churches. That guy is so monumentalistic. He's so dumb. Is he playing dumb, you think, on this? I don't think so.

You don't think so? I don't think so. I don't think he is. I think he's just really that stupid. You don't believe me buy more of their product what i love about that is that it's exactly that it's like if you don't believe me go get one right and then download it you're like wait i thought you said it's opening portals in places it's like i gotta go catch these demons look everybody go catch you would

think too if there's all these fucking wild demons about, we should be catching them. Yeah. Right? Like fucking get Egon on the case. You know what I mean? I do believe that atheists are parasites in the sense they're benefiting from everything that religious culture has built in America, but they're doing nothing to add energy into the system. This is from Right Wing

Watch. This is Ray Comfort. Hey, in other news, Ray Comfort's still alive. Ray Comfort's still getting interviewed and by somebody with actual sound that sounds good on their podcast. This is kind of amazing. It's on Tuesday's episode of Janet Mefford Today. So in case you

missed Janet Mefford's daily program. It's so interesting to note how many Americans like atheists the least of any religious group. And I like them even least than that. Even more leaster. I like them the leasty leastersons. How does that play into this issue of the fact that we don't have any atheist members of Congress and we've never had an atheist president?

Bernie Sanders. Eh, he doesn't say that, though. He doesn't say he's an atheist. He says he's a secular Jew, though. Here's what we've had. No out atheists but i guarantee but didn't barney frank come out after the fact i think he did actually he came out after the fact he said he was an atheist so so there's one there's one we don't have a lot atheists and agnostic you're looking at about seven percent thereabouts and that's that's from uh that's from

wikipedia 200 2014 pew research poll in, you would expect that 7% of people, there would be about 7 per 100, right? Right. So there would be about 35. There would be about 35. And then there would also be about 7 in the Senate, right? Right. But look at how many women there are in the United States. Yeah.

I mean, clearly we know proportionally that the Senate does not represent. Proportionally, some demographics just don't get the same play. I mean, how many – is the black population of the Senate matching the black population of the United States? Clearly not. It would be 13%. Is the women population? No, it's not. So, yeah, by and large, religious white men get – Right. Old religious white men. Old religious white men get elected to public office.

So, okay. Well, I don't know if you've heard the saying, religion has caused more wars than anything. That's a favorite of atheists. And it just isn't true. According to Encyclopedia of Wars published in 2004, there's been 1,763 wars up until 2004, 1,763 in history. Only 8% were religious wars, and two-thirds of the 8% were in the name of Islam. So 92% of the wars

in history have been more political in nature, like the First World War, Second World War, Vietnam War, Korean War, not religious wars. So religion or religiosity is you know, caused fewer wars, well it doesn't make it more true, it just means it's a causeless war. Like, okay, fine. Fair enough. It doesn't have anything to do with whether or not it was true.

Is this claim about how the world works true? Sure. No? Alright, well then fucking moveon.org, man. So when we're talking atrocities and wars and deaths, atheists have caused 110 million deaths in the last 100 years. Stalin, 60 million. He was an atheist. Mayo,

40 million. He was an atheist. Look, the fact that they were atheists is not the motivating factor to their ideology. Right, exactly. It's not the motivating factor at all. I mean, these were all like, if all you're going to do is say, oh, well, look at this thing that they all had in common. Well, they were all men, too. Yeah.

I mean, should we just say, like, men shouldn't be leaders of people? Like, because these were all men and these men caused 110 million deaths. Absolutely, yeah. Right? I mean, or, you know, two of them had mustaches. Like, should we just, you know, anybody with a mustache be suspect? Like, it's a silly fucking argument. You have to prove a causal link between the fact that they happen to be atheists and their despicable, truly despicable, reprehensible actions. Pol Pot, 1.7 million, he was an atheist. Vladimir Lenin, 5 million people slaughtered,

he was an atheist. And so when people realize that, you can't trust an atheist in a position of authority, especially politically. And maybe nice people, when you meet them in the street, but you give them power to do what they want and carry their own agendas, and you're going to find that they don't have any moral high ground to stand on, because they're not standing on any whatsoever. Atheists have no ability to take a morally defensible position, because we don't. I mean, defensible position because we don't. I mean, like, it's an old claim, right? It's an old claim that, you know,

that all moral belief comes from, you know, on high. It comes from above and is passed down to us from the top, and that's the only way that we know how to behave morally. But, like, we know that this is garbage. We know that this is bunk. And it's so ridiculous to think that you meet somebody on the street and they can be a good and honest and ethical and decent human being, and somehow you give them power, and the fact of their atheism is what corrupts them into using that power

in an unethical way, not the corrupting nature of power itself. I would actually say, I would argue that the antithesis of that is true. We look at all the people right now that are in power that are trying to force all the people in the United States, they would love to force all the people in the United States to not recognize gay unions, right? Right. Two people love each other. None of our business, right? It's none of our business at all whether or not what two consenting adults do. And we'd love to see that the two consenting adults made a commitment we'd love to see that the two consenting adults made a commitment to each other and want to live their life together.

And they want to share everything. And they want to have the same protections that a man and a woman have, right? And they happen to be of the same sex. There's people in this country that think that that's an evil. A lot. And it's an evil passed down from on high to them. Right. I would argue that that's less moral in many ways. I mean, look at all the different things that they wanted to do throughout history. They've argued in the past, again, for segregation based on biblical.

They argued for slavery based on the Bible. Anti-miscegenation laws. Based on the Bible. Right. All those things are evil. All those things aren't evil. Right. And they have always stood back from point

and back to pointing and saying, this is what God wants. Yeah. And you're like, well, actually, I think you're less moral. I think that those people have an agenda that they have to follow. And if they followed it to the letter, if they followed everything to the letter, we would be killing people for being gay. We'd be killing people for having adulterous affairs. We'd be killing people or stoning them for having polyester cotton blends.

There would be a, for eating shellfish. Divorce would not be a thing, and I'd be fucking ruined. If we. I'd be, I'd have a lot more money though. Not as much soul though. Oh, brother. I have sold my soul for rock and roll

a long time ago, man. But seriously, if you were a fundamentalist and you were following that book, exactly, it's a monstrous way to live. It's a monstrous way to live.

It's an impossible way to live. Exactly, it's impossible. In 2016, you cannot live truly biblically. Yeah. You can't do it. Read A.J. Jacobs, The Year I Lived Biblically. It's a farce. The whole thing is ridiculous. At one point, he has to make his wife go outside and sleep in a tent because she's on her period. She's not allowed to sleep in the house. It seems to me that that's the worst time to really fuck with your wife, to say, to me that that's the worst time to really fuck with your wife to to say you gotta go you're dirty right i would not do that hide the knives yeah right it would be like hey so uh

seem a little little little crabby little on edge a little on edge i noticed some i'm gonna go ahead say something incredibly insensitive while you're pretty much on edge. Oh, boy. You know the house that we share? Right. Here's the thing. I want – you only get to live here three-quarters of the time, but you still have to pay half the mortgage. So essentially what I'm asking you to do is a week a month I want you to spend outside.

Got to go camping 25% of your life. Or a hotel if you can afford it. Yeah, right, right. I don't want to be inconsiderate. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be inconsiderate. But don't rack up a lot of debt either. Don't live in the car either. That's gross, yeah.

I gotta use that car. It's awful. Because you're unclean. Can you put a tarp down? Jesus Christ. And can you burn the blankets when you come back? I need to take one of those

NASA showers. There's like an elephant scrubber brush in there. You're like a level 4 Z-Con CDC room. Silkwood. Scrubbing her flesh off. Oh, you want to come in the house? Oh, mama, let's come in the house.

Get the fire hose. Just don't bleed a little. Jesus. Send your email to... Use the fire hose to push her back out in the yard. Love you too, honey. You don't look fat in that. I'll drop my own papers.

And no, it's just water weight. Because I was spraying you with a fire hose. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show?

Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod. Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per-episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock.

And Tom, here's a perfect reason why what we just talked about, literally what we just talked about. Brian Fisher. I can't even read the headline of this. I can't even read the headline of this and think that anybody should be taking this guy seriously. This is Brian Fisher. It's not okay for Christians to have diverse opinions. Let me tell you specifically which singular opinion you should have. You cannot have a diverse opinion.

Here's a bulleted list of your opinions. Right? What do I think about this? It's like being a little kid. It's like, Mom, do I like broccoli? Do I like broccoli, Mom? I was just going to say, do they have to all agree on what color they want to like? Do they all have to say blue?

It's all blue. What's my favorite color? I love blue, and I really enjoy the smell of the air after it rains. I'm really into that ABBA song, Dancing Queen. You know what I mean? Like, everybody's got to have the same fucking answer. Do I like this? All right, so this is Brian Fisher.

It's not okay for Christians to have diverse opinions. It's amazing. You know, talking about this column, it's actually kind of a snide column written by this Andy Walton, whom I do not know. But he says, look, it's fine for Christians to be all over the map on sexual ethics. Well, no, it's not. I mean, that's exactly what we read about in Revelation. That's the spirit of Jezebel, calls herself a prophetess,

claims to speak for God, and seduces people. Super interested. Keep talking. Like Jezebel. I like where you're going with this. She's scantily clad, I'm right there. Right. If she can get scantily clad. I'm right there. Right. Yeah. If she can get scantily clad. Yeah. Right. Right.

Right. In the sexual immorality. So no, it is not okay for Christians to be all over the map, have diverse opinions. That's what he's talking about. Not even talking about behavior. Talk about opinions about sexual ethics.

No, it's not okay. No, you're not allowed to think that. Duh. Here's the list of things you're allowed to think. Read the book about that says what you think. So I wonder if they have a bulleted list and be like, you like missionary position.

Really? Can I try the doggy? No. Can I just flip her over on her belly once in a while? Is it okay if we do the reverse cowboy or cowgirl? Reverse cowboy is a lot harder. You had me like, huh. The thing is, the reverse cowboy, it involves tools.

The Bible is abundantly clear about sexual ethics. Sex is reserved for marriage. Marriage is a union of one man and one woman. Homosexuality is a sin. Sexual immorality is a sin. Sexual immorality? What does that even mean? I don't know. I was actually just wondering. That seems like a pretty broad brush.

I think by a lot of these definitions, sexual immorality means anything fun. Can I come in her hair? Yes, but you can't like it. And she's not allowed to wash it out for five days. She's got to be outside. She's got to go back to the tent.

And the worst part is... Get the hair combed, Tessa. The worst part is that when you spray her down with the fire hose, it's hard to get out. Yeah, I've got to use cold water in the fire hose. Et cetera. These things are not ambiguous in the Scripture. So, no, it's not okay to have diverse opinions on those issues. It's not okay to have diverse opinions on life issues.

I have my opinions. Again, I'm Brian Fisher. Well, yeah, I just translated, I just fucking interpreted what your opinion is. I'll tell you. From the Almighty God. Not only is this your opinion, but you like this as your opinion. Well, and didn't they have't they have a bunch of wives and concubines and shit?

The fucking Bible has people fucking slave wives and rapey wives. Marrying your rapist? There's all kinds of shit going on that you neglected to tell me about, Brian Fisher. I need to know about the rape clause. And rape clause is the worst one to get visited by on Christmas, by the way.

The very worst one is rape clause. You don't want to know what's in that fucking big sack of heads. It's the worst one. It involves the elves. You know what I mean? The best part is that they got the small fist. You know what I mean? It's not a big deal to get in and out of there.

They don't even have to take their rings off. I don't want to do this anymore. Can we not do this anymore? Then one rapey Christmas Eve. This rape kit came to say. That's terrible. You open up your breast. It's a broken condom.

Santa with your DNA. You're in jail tonight. Oh. And then we all blame the victim. Oh. Oh, Jesus. Anymore. Rufy. The Rufy the Rapy Reindeer.

Rufy. It's Rufy. Wow. Rufy the Red Light Reindeer. That's perfect. Rufy the Rapy Reindeer. Is this the worst thing we've ever seen? It's so...

I feel violated. That's fucking amazing. You told that joke against my will. Rufie the Rapey Reindeer is something else. You cannot title this show because no one's going to. I think iTunes

would flag it. It would just be all dashes. It would be all dashes. Life begins at conception. Every child in the womb is being knit together by God in the womb. He's knitting. Those are the smallest needles ever. Sticky, sticky, sticky, sticky.

Can you imagine? It's like three cells. I better get to work, man. Oh, hand me my real, real small knit needles. I need the little ones now. No, I need the really, really small ones, Gabriel. Yeah, the ones you can't even see with the naked eye. That's the ones I need.

Yeah, bring my eyeglasses too. Later on, I'm going to crochet me a dog. I'm going to needle point me an elephant. Psalm 139. Again, there's no place for diverse opinions on whether it's a baby in the womb because the Bible says it is. Luke 1. Luke warm. What?

Well, maybe it's a baby. They are until they've been out a while. Maybe not. Then they cool right off. This is the longest segment we've ever done. You know what? I have a diverse opinion called, cancel this episode. You know, Mary's pregnant.

She goes into Elizabeth's place, and Elizabeth says, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. What is it? It says it twice in that passage. The baby in my womb leaped for joy leap for joy so no it's not okay okay so okay well hold on now the baby in your womb leap for joy that means you would have to feel it if fucking three cells moves in your womb you don't feel it if a fucking tiny little thing like a looks like a fucking chicken the size of an egg moves in your womb you don't feel it

when do babies when you start to feel babies, once they can like develop arms, right? Don't they need to have those first? They don't start kicking like during the first trimester where you can feel anything. And that's typically where like 80, 90% of the abortions are done is in the first 20 weeks. And there's no, generally a quickening is what they.

I know they talk about this, but if he's saying this, right, it leaped in the womb and she felt it. But I think what he's saying is like, hey, there's a baby in my womb, comma, leap for joy. Like, woohoo, I got the preggers. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I'm telling him his opinion now.

Oh, yeah, because he's not allowed to have it. Also, it's fucking 2,000 years ago. How would you fucking know there was a fucking bun in the oven? It's like you had to fucking pee on a fucking stick because it would be an actual stick. Yeah. Right? And those don't change. Well, they do change colors.

They turn a little yellow. They just turn a little darker. Right. Yeah. Baby, like, What the fuck So Tom, we only read half a chapter this time. But But what a half a chapter it was.

It was, this was beautiful, man. This is Nights of the Sun. This is chapter seven. Dude, this shit was fucking for real. So I'll go with my quiz first. You go next and then I'll read my summary again. Let's do it. All right.

All right. A black Madonna is a hot, a Madonna made entirely of antimatter. B is a group that worships queen Sammy Ramis, Harold Ramis's half sister. Harold Ramis's half sister. I love it. She's only a Sammy-Ramus.

Who are you going to call? C, why she got to be black. And D, like a prayer. I love this. It's B. It's B, semi-Ramus. Semi-Ramus. That's amazing.

Question two. When a male suppresses his female polarity, he becomes... He touches between his legs. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. He becomes A, the Terminator. B, the Sperminator. C, Randy Savage.

D, Macho Man. Or E, Nacho Man. It's clearly Nacho Man. It's clearly Nacho Man. It's D. It's Macho Man. Male energy is reflected in aggression and A, guns, B, germs, C, steel.

It's guns. It's guns. That was a great one. London is named after A, Lou Don, an ancient birthplace of Aryan reptiles. B, Loon Deep, a rural suburb of Atlantis. A suburb! A suburb of Atlantis!

C. C. Troy. That's so funny to me. Or D, Londinium, a Roman settlement. I'm going to go with Troy. It's Troy. Although I would have accepted D because D is true.

Londinium is actually a Roman settlement that it really is named after. Oh, my God. That's amazing. He's lying. It's not named after Troy. Lying. Lying. But Ike, if we're saying Ike, then it's Troy.

Okay. Okay. last question. All right. What is imprisonment disguised as freedom? A, a roach motel. B, old country buffet. Fur handcuffs. C, democracy.

Or D, an American flag-colored straitjacket. Democracy! Democracy. Democracy. Oh, that's amazing. All right, buddy. You ready? I'm ready.

It doesn't take a genius to know what. A, you can't make friends with salad. B, nine lords a leaping. C, nine Knights Templar are not enough to protect missionaries, but they are totes enough to be a secret society. Or D. There are no girls allowed in the treehouse. It's D. No, there are girls allowed in the treehouse.

There's never girls allowed in the treehouse. My answers don't even make sense. I don't even care. Why is a war memorial nearly always an obelisk? A, penis. B, phallus. B. C, reptile penis.

D. D, male energy reptile penis phallus. All the above. It's all the above. All right. Cecil, why do these guys put their symbols everywhere? A, to mark their territory. B, because it's fun to have a secret you tell everyone about in super secret hush symbol voices. C, because it helps to resonate the energy field to the vibrational frequency they want.

Or D, nipples. It's nipples, I think. It's always nipples. Cecil, what is reverse symbolism? A, some seriously batshit crazy made up nonsense. All right. B, the idea that if one thing stands as a symbol for something, that its opposite stands for the opposite of that first thing

because the second thing is a symbol. So anything kind of like or related to the first symbol is also now a symbol. C, racist. D, when you play the drums upside down. It's D. That's awesome. Is that all you got? That's all I got.

Okay, all right. Here goes my... Here's your IQs. No, no. I'll wait for the IQs. This is... I want to talk a little bit about... Go ahead and end on a high note.

I want to give you the synopsis. Okay. The Knights Templar are a bloodline organization that are powerful covert rulers of the police, military, banks, pirates, churches, emperors, and black Madonnas. They built obelisks so you can have male sexual energy and have a deep understanding of the network of dragon lines that encircle our world. He wrote that down. And they're tax exempt. and have a deep understanding of the network of dragon lines that encircle our world. He wrote that down. And they're tax exempt. Satanic rituals happen in churches.

Cain and Noah from the Bible were both Aryan reptiles, and the word shamrock is North African in origin. I love that. I love that. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Oh, don't you know that's where we got the shamrock from? Get your shalalia to Morocco. It's from fucking North Africa? This is the guy from fucking that Greek movie,

the fucking fat Greek wedding, where he's like, give me any word, I'll tell you it's Greek origins. This guy, he just picks any word. And he's like, oh yeah, it's a fucking secret reptile Aryan word. It comes from the North African work, shamaruka. I love you, buddy. Oh, this guy's awesome. All right, here's a couple of haikus for you.

Okay, here we go. Serial killer, drug runner, child abuser, President George Bush. I love that he's a serial killer. Merovingian, an excellent haiku word. It's five syllables. If an obelisk is male, then what structure is female? A canyon? That's awesome.

He goes off on like, are you done with those? Yeah, yeah, I'm done. That's it. He goes off on like, you know, you ever been in a cathedral? They look like vulva. I know. It's like a little dot above the door. That's the clit.

Yeah, no. If you rub a door the right way, it squirts. The whole building is squirming when I rub up against it it's just it's just writhing yeah there i tried to walk in the building a fucking slam shot do we have do we have a reading uh we do have a reading let me play it for you this is uh this is a it's only half a paragraph because it's kind of crazy so the templar lands stretched down to the river thames where the Templars had their own docks. During the reign of Queen Victoria, the Brotherhood erected an obelisk along the Thames at this point

and placed a sphinx on either side. The obelisk had formerly stood in the Egyptian city of An, or Heliopolis, the city or place of the sun. And it is known today as Cleopatra's Needle. This obelisk is an ancient Egyptian Aryan symbol of the sun, the male energy, the phallus. These symbols are to be found in many places, often under the guise of war memorials, and have been placed there by free Masonic manipulation. Has anyone ever asked themselves why a war memorial nearly always has to be an obelisk? They don't. It's like, fucking, I've seen like, what about like the wall? Like the fucking Vietnam memorial is just a fucking big wall.

It's not a fucking series of connected obelisks. Like, it's just a wall. Sometimes it's just a statue of like a person, you know? Like, I've seen them as just cannons. I've seen fucking a dozen war memorials, and they're not always obelisks. I actually can only think of one obelisk memorial. And why do you think the Washington Monument in the center of Washington, D.C. is a giant obelisk? Because obelisks, like all these symbols in geometrical shapes, generate the energy they represent.

these symbols in geometrical shapes generate the energy they represent. I remember climbing some stone steps inside a big obelisk near Hebden Bridge in England and feeling enormous male sexual energy all around me. Not that enormous. Come on. And I could feel

modest sexual. I could feel disappointing. You could feel slight pressure on your zipper. Slight pressure. I wondered what on earth was happening until I remembered where I was. Inside a male penis, in effect. Inside a male penis.

I love hearing your wife say, until I remembered where I was. Inside a male penis. Usually, that's a reverse. As opposed to the non. Yeah, exactly. Normally, that's a reverse. As opposed to the non. Yeah, exactly. Normally, it's inside of you. In Soviet Russia. Ouch.

You're inside penis. I don't want anything in there. It's like a catheter. That's for me to put in, not for you to put. That sounds terrible. What a symbol is built to represent is the energy it will generate, because symbols are a physical manifestation of the thoughts which create them. These guys don't put their symbols everywhere just for fun. They do it because it helps to resonate the energy field to the vibrational frequency they want.

In turn, this affects the thoughts and feelings of the people. That's why when you go... The best part about this is when you go to the Washington Monument, you could basically hang your coat on any guy's cock right you're just hard as a fucking stone it's fucking you just walk around everybody's got a fucking everybody's holding their books awkwardly in front of their their crotch because they just can't help but get a giant fucking hard on nothing fucking gets me harder than fucking walking around washington dc looking at monuments you want answers i think I'm entitled.

You want answers! I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! Baker rejects customer's birthday cake order after learning she's gay from her Facebook profile. And this is pretty terrible. She actually fucking turned that shit down via text message? Yeah.

Like, that's how you break up with people. That's how you break up with people. That's how you end marriages, is through text message. No, you do that in person and abruptly. Well, Tom, your experience is anecdotal. But it was 100% successful. I will say the reason why i'm i'm a little worried about this is we have to take everybody's word for this because there's no proof here um this is just something that somebody said but i will say that this person is not they've been reached out to talk

and they've refused uh to respond so that i just want to point that out that you know like if somebody said hey man you you fucking said you wouldn't bake me a cake. And I'd be like, oh, no, I didn't. Then I would say something. But if you're not going to say anything, then it's sort of pointing toward guilt. But I don't want to I don't want to be the guy who's saying like fucking it. You know, it absolutely happened because all we can see is one side of the argument. One thing I do want to say about this, I want to read from the article. A birthday cake has nothing to do with your sexual preference, Candace told ABC 13.

Are you saying that since we're gay, we can't eat cake? And they actually did reach out. They made contact with the bakers after the fact, and the bakers said, let them eat pie. Is that what they said to us? I did not. It's such a bad joke. A long setup for a bad joke. It was a long setup, but I'll forgive it.

All right. The one thing, my favorite part about this letter is it says, Candace, I'm sorry. I just realized your name. Pardon me. I just realized you're in a same-sex relationship. We do not do cakes for same-sex weddings or parties. I'm so sorry.

I wasn't aware of this until I saw your page. Take care. And then they end it with a smiley face. How fucking rude is that what is the proper not only did you tell me but you smiled through it you fuck you asshole not only did you fucking tell me you weren't gonna bake a cake for me because fucking god said you can't bake you can't do things for people who are gay and i i love this like because i don't know what is the proper emoji to use in this situation like you're you're going through your phone you're like it's supposed to be it's supposed to be two dicks touching i think is what

it's supposed to be or two cunts scissoring i think is the other thing you could do those are really weird emojis they're hard to find you got to download those it's not it's not to come standard yeah it's definitely not a standard one. For sure. They should actually come out with a series of deeply inappropriate emojis for terrible news. They should have a you've got cancer emoji. Winky face!

One with just a dead kid. You get it from the babysitter. It's like, uh-oh. Hey, looks like we can stay out late. sitter oh you just hey it looks like we can stay out late well we don't need a designated driver tonight one of the things too i want to talk about talks about sort of scoping out this person's facebook you know like i mean here you are you order a cake yeah i'd like to get a cake they probably contacted him on facebook maybe that's how they contact them instead of really like your cake um you know is there any

way you can you know maybe they send them a facebook message okay yeah sure i'll do the cake here's the who scopes out their customers but then they click and go back and scope out the customers and then find out i just don't look forward to the to the day in the future when i have to submit my browser history to any place i go to order from oh that's not um i will be denied services sorry sir we don't we don't give services to people who uh do who enjoy midget donkey porn i didn't say i enjoyed it i just i'm just doing research for the show 33 page, 33-page visits in the last two days. There's a lot of research. I'm on the editorial board. Sir, your hands are blistered.

No, my browser history would have me denied. Like, I wouldn't even, they wouldn't fucking take me at the ER. They'd be like, no, no, no. Let this one die. Let him pass. It's not even a critical injury. No, we'll make it critical.

Hit him with an ambulance. What do you think, though? I mean, like, this person is denying services. And now we get mail like this a lot, right? People will, especially like recently, Pastor Steven Anderson jumped on his podium and got super mad. They literally jumped on his podium. PayPal denied him service. And we get some emails from people sometimes that say, hey, isn't it a little inconsistent?

Sure. You're basically saying, ha-ha, Pastor Steven Anderson, you can't have this business deal with you. This business is choosing not to deal with you. Right. And that's funny. But the people who are against gays, they're not letting people have their service and you're against them doing it. And my answer to that is for all the things that you can't control, your race, your sex, you know, your handicap, your, you know, there's all those things that are protected by the

government, right? The protected, those are things that you cannot discriminate against people for. There's seven of them, I think. I think that for things you can't control, you shouldn't discriminate against people for. So that's just, it's just something that you can't discriminate against them for. You can control being a bigot. You can not be a bigot. Sure.

You can just not be a bigot. It's real easy. Same thing goes here. This is a person who's gay. They can't control their sexuality. They can't decide that they're not gay. And so why should they be punished for something that they cannot control? There's also a protections of minorities issue, right?

Like we've decided as a society generally that we put certain basic protections in place so that majority groups cannot victimize minority groups. And that's a generally good social impulse to follow, right? So, you know, the difference is like, you know, are Christians a majority or a minority? Well, they're 70% of the population of the United States, roughly. They're a majority group. They are not a minority. They have a tremendous amount of, and depending on how you mark a majority, right, or minority, whether it's, you know, marked in numerical terms or whether it's marked in political and economic terms, nobody's going to argue that religious people, and specifically Christians, nobody smart, would argue that they are a minority in this country. So the law would protect the minority, in this instance, the homosexual couple, from being victimized by the majority

in terms of being denied services. That's different. It's just objectively different. Also, one of the things that you could think of, too, is that there's just some things you can't get away with anymore. Right? You could have gotten away with this. If it weren't for those meddling kids. Yeah, absolutely.

You could have also gotten away with this in the 50s, right? Sure. You could have certainly just not given someone services in the 60s if they were gay. Wouldn't have been an issue. People probably wouldn't even bat their eye. They'd be like, you didn't want that gay guy in your shop. Okay, that's fine. Nobody cares.

Nobody would even think of that. That it's still an issue in 2016. Yeah, exactly. I mean, here we are. And at some point in history, you could get away with doing this to black people. Sure. They could send you a message, call you on the phone and say, yeah, I would like you to make a cake,

and then you show up to pick it up and you're black. Right. And they say, oh, well, I thought you were white. I'm not selling it to you. You're not getting my cake. Go down to Blackie's Bakery down the street. Anti-miscegenation is a perfect example. I'm not going to sell you this. So this could have happened, probably did happen, with a bunch of different services back before there was laws

to protect people for it. But now there's laws that protect you against it. Maybe one day, maybe one day, bigotry will be protected because it will be such a small percentage of people then we'll have to be the bigots we'll have to look at them and be like you know what they're such a small minority let that little KK guy guy in

look at him maybe one day that'll happen pat him on his pointy head I don't know if that's going to happen so we want to thank uh our all our new patrons we just got a ton of new patrons because we just released a patron only show that was alex jones and it turned out great we thought it was you know it turned out really funny we're getting lots of great feedback on it a lot of people really like it we'd like to do a quarterly show for our patrons at this point um in the future

we may have a goal that maybe we do one in a month or something. We're still figuring out what other goals are. But we might up that content a little bit. What we do with our patron shows is we just have a little less structure than we normally do. And we just play a bunch of clips and laugh and kid around. And this last Alex Jones show, lots of people are really enjoying it. And we want to thank everybody who came on as patrons recently,

because you guys came on to hear the show and we hope you really do enjoy it. And remember, it's not just the Alex Jones show. If you're a patron, you get access to all of our past patron content. So you get access to the Jim Baker show we did, the Pastor Manning show that we did. And all the extras that we did.

All of those extras that we've put together that we've released. So if you become a patron now, you get access not just to the most recent patron benefit, but to all of the past patron benefits, which is kind of nice. Yeah. And if you want to find those, all you have to do is go to our website. And on our website, it says patron-only content. Click on there. There's a link.

I haven't added a couple of new ones yet. It's my hope to add them this weekend. Hopefully, by the time you hear this, the other ones will be added. The ones that we just did will be added. So you'll be able to click and go to every single one of those pieces of extra patron-only content and listen to them. As it stands right now, there's no real great way of you to get those onto your iPod. I know that you have to like do normal stuff to like download it to your computer and then like put it into iTunes or whatever. If you have an iPod or lots of people are finding ways to get them downloaded directly onto their, their smartphones and things like that. But their Patreon really a lot of, a lot of the time I'll just play it directly from

the Patreon app or I'll play it directly. If I'm playing on a computer, I'll just play it directly from a computer. But the Patreon does have an app now. It's our I do sometimes, too. Or I'll play it directly. If I'm playing on a computer, I'll just play it directly from a computer. But the Patreon does have an app now. It's our hope to have a protected RSS feed in the future, hopefully not distant future, but it's something that we really need to work on. We want to thank all our patrons, though. Patrons are great.

Thanks every single one of you, but we want to thank the new ones. Gallick, Christopher, Rocktoberfest. That's great. Lawrence, Matt, Paul, Andrew, Vincent, Bevan, Sapphire. I love the way Sapphire is spelled here. S-A-P-P-H-Y-R-E. Oh, throw a Y in there.

Throw a Y in there. I like it. Applesauce. Yes, delicious. Keith, S-Man the Ninth is what I'm going to say. All right, we'll go with it. Could be S-Manics, but I'm going to go with S-Man the Ninth, I think. All right.

Aaron. Rainbow Sparkle Arble Gargle. Nice. Fishman. Peter. Ben. Roxanne. El Señor del Fuego.

Billy and Ashley. Soggy Pants. Jason. Steven. Matthew. el senor del fuego billy and ashley soggy pants jason steven matthew ross phil steve blake emmy justin william eli bosnick yeah buddy we got your money bitch and here's one a little awkward you're funnier than Eli. I'm not making that up, Eli. That's a real patron. That's an actual patron. I would never say that. I think you're way funnier than I am.

Cyrano de Bergerac's nose hair stylist. That's great. That's great. That's got so many levels to it. It's like a historical deep bro literary reference it's like tara jacob logan let's go waterboarding at guantanamo bay qj laura suzanne and victor thank you all so very much for your generous donations your your uh generous donations going to make sure that we have a studio, a roof above our heads, a place to come to record the show. And they're making it possible for us to travel to a couple of places.

We're going to go visit the arc soon. We're going to go visit. We're going to go. You guys were going to drive down and actually go to the goddamn arc. We're also going to get on a plane and go over to QED. We're planning a couple of major things that are going to be happening this year. We're hopefully going to have a

meetup, and then we're also, there's a couple of other things that are coming up. We will let you know when we can talk about some of these things, but some of these things are pretty exciting. We just want to thank everybody that's a patron, and we're super happy. Thank you so much. We had a couple of PayPal donations. We had a PayPal donation from Andrew and from Matthew.

Remember, PayPal is another way that you can donate to the show. If you go to our website, dissonancepod.com, click on Donate, and you can support the show that way. A ton of email to get to. We're going to try to get through it all here. Null sent in this clip. This is an unedited version of Pastor Steven Anderson's rant. They're trying to get us shut down on all fronts. And you know what? Let me tell you something. I'm sick of it. And I'm not going to back down. And I'm sick of people not backing me up on this. Come on. Stop whining. We have hundreds of people, hundreds of people here. No more complaining. No more Mr. Kim to go to the bathroom.

Nothing. There is no bathroom. That's awesome. I love it. Take that, dick. I just want to mention this. Sarah sent us a message, and she's from Canada, and she was talking about there's this crazy religious people,

two people that she works with. One of them wouldn't put a microchip in their animal cat because microchips are the mark of the beast it's a beast you know it's an actual beast right that's the best exactly yeah no kidding beast is the mark of the beast it is a beast like would you put one in a wildebeest and you're you're surrounded by microchips you're surrounded every day every moment of your life you are surrounded by microchips there is a microchip fucking everywhere yeah like just put one in the cat and call it a night it's one of those things that like is ubiquitous now and it's one of those things that just doesn't even you know it doesn't even have a meaning you're just like microchip oh okay

it's a word that even sounds silly at this point. Like, oh, it's a microchip. Oh, really? Like, oh, are we watching E.T.? Is it 30 fucking years ago? We got an image. I'm going to put it with this. Jody sent in this image. It's awesome.

It's fucking, it's a Ziggy cartoon, and it makes reference to David Icke, and it's great. It's very funny. Fucking, I did that dog thing last time with Dre, and fucking Aaron made a clip of it, and it fucking turned out amazing. It's so great. So here's the clip of Steven Anderson.

They're sodomites. They're dogs. Yeah. That's what the Bible calls them, dogs. This is great. Dogs! It's the one and only D-Go Double G. Snoop Dogg!

Snoop Dogg! Da-da-da-da-da. Hold up. It's fucking amazing. That's so great oh that's a great song too by the way so aj sent us a message and aj uh aj uh is 16 and aj's wondering uh talking about uh coming out as an atheist at 16 and uh and wanted to just say hi to Landon, of course. We want to say hi to Landon. I fucking love Landon. Landon's awesome. That's a cool name. Dude, rules.

That's a cool name. It's kind of like London, which is a suburb of Atlantis. I'm just curious about his cloud city. A little Star Wars reference. Oh, guy. Good for you, Tom. Did I do it right? does he have a guy with like headphones that walks around he might me me me me me me me me me you don't even know i'm talking

that was my that's it was the whole thing you blew your water that was the whole thing i'm fucking spent you spent your budget on graphics i'm just gonna i'm just gonna fucking roll over sweaty at this point like i need to catch my breath for a minute. So coming out at 16 though, one of the things that he's worried about is people are going to say you're only 16 kid. Right. What do you know? Basically, you haven't

experienced anything yet. You're just 16 years old. What do you know? The first thing I want to say to you, if you're coming out to your family, especially religious family, make sure before you come out that for the next two years, it's okay that you came out. Maybe there might be some vigorous debate, I think, is about as far as I would want to push this there, AJ. The problem that you can run into as a 16-year-old is getting everything taken away from you because they basically own you until you're 18 years old. They control all the resources, control everything, right? They are the, you are the proletariat. Yeah. And you cannot seize the means of production. No matter

what you do, you cannot seize. I don't care how many times you read the German ideology. It's not going to help. But, uh, but yeah, seriously, if it's going to, if it not going to help. But yeah, seriously, if it's going to make your home life absolutely fucking miserable and you come out, you might just want to fucking stifle your giggles for two years. Right. Until you're ready to be on your own. That's always my recommendation for anybody in a very religious household. You can eat a lot of shit for two years. Two years, you'll be okay. You can eat a lot of shit for two years. Two years, you'll be okay. You can

eat a lot of shit for two years. However, if the worst that's going to happen is vigorous debate, right? If that's the worst that happens is vigorous debate between you and your family, then coming out as an atheist, and that seems like what you want to do if you can't control it anymore and you want to make sure that you come like you you come out uh i would say that uh that i didn't know shit and i still don't know shit and i'm way older than you so so the fact that somebody's going to throw that you're only 16 years old in your face be like you know those people are not speaking from a position of authority in a sense you know i mean they don't they know as little as you do yep you know he say in here, I just want to touch on this real quick. He says he's worried

about hearing people say you just haven't been touched by God in your short life. Just tell him, look, man, that priest touched me when I was 12, when I was 13. Just show him on the doll. Yeah. Believe me, the priest didn't wait till I was 16 to get a little grabby. Believe me, the priest didn't wait until I was 16 to get a little grabby. We were on a show recently. We'll put it on the show notes. We were on Wayward Atheist. We'll put it on the show notes.

The episode is 306. You can check out that show as well. We got a message from the Czech Republic where they write everything in Klingon. I didn't even know that they're – I mean, fucking a message from the Ottoman Empire. I will say this. I will say this. Awesome way to spell Jacob, right? It feels fighting. It just feels like it feels more. It's got like rough edges. You

know what I mean? It's a hyper masculine Jacob. Yeah. Like J-A-K-U-B. That's a fighting Jacob. Yeah. Jacob writes us and lets us know that that there are tons of there's tons of crazy shit going on in his country. It looks like there's a lot of stuff that's similar, I think, to Brexit. The Brexit stuff that was going on, you know, where people are sort of really feeling isolationist.

And I think that's happening all over the globe. All over Europe, for sure. But Jacob wanted to let us know, and a lot of people wanted to let us know, Tom. So many people. So many people wanted to let us know that and a lot of people wanted to let us know, Tom. So many people. So many people wanted to let us know that David Icke is right about money, that David Icke is absolutely 100%, a million percent right about money.

I'm going to read what David Icke said. David Icke said, when you go to a bank for a loan, the bank does not print a single new note or mint a single new coin. Of course they don't. It simply types into your account the size of the loan, and from that moment, you start to pay interest

on what is nothing more than figures on a screen. The bank has created money out of nothing and insists that you pay them for doing so. If anyone else did that, they would be arrested for fraud, but banks do this every day quite legally. So now what he's saying is that you walk into a bank and you say, I would like a loan. And then they give you nothing. And then they put numbers on a screen.

And then you have to pay them back for it. That's at least what I think he's saying. I mean, if you think he's saying something else, then. But he's saying, the thing is, is like, if I go into the bank and I say, I would like a loan for a house, I get a house. Like, that's not a nothing. That's not nothing on a a loan for a house. I get a house. Like that's not a nothing. That's not nothing on a screen. That's me. I got a house. And then there might be transactions that happen that are digital, but I got a house and I pay that house off for years and years and years and years. I got a house. It's not a nothing. That's not numbers on a screen. Right. I get a car when I get a bank

loan for a car. I get a drivey thing. I know. Right. It's not numbers on a screen. It's a drivey thing. And the car dealership gets the money. Yeah. Right. Get the seller of the house gets the money. Then they can go and get that turn into cash if they want to get that turn into cash. It's not it's not nothing. And let's be super clear. The bank does not create money. They lend on credit, right? In the US. In the US. Let's talk about that, because you don't know. I don't know how any other monetary systems work. I don't know anything about other systems. But that's OK. That's still not creating money. Banks borrow money against money that they have, and they collateralize and then resell. And it's very complicated. I recognize. I said that. I said it's a lot more complicated

than I just said that. We know that it's complicated, but it is not the same thing as creating money. They're not creating money into a system. They are lending on a line of credit, a warehouse line or some other similar line. They're lending on a line of credit, a warehouse line or some other similar line. They're lending on a line of credit. They don't have to have every dollar in reserve sitting in a fucking vault somewhere. That's absolutely true. But that's not the same thing as just printing money. That's a very different. If they could just print fucking infinite money, then money would cease to have meaning

and value. What he's saying is, is that that's the preferable system though. I mean, when I read that, that's what he's saying is like, why don't they just go downstairs and print me a coin? Right?

Yeah. Right. No, cause you don't print coins. But anyway, you know, but, but there's like forging.

There's like a fucking metal porch. They come up with a giant stamp. Junk. Someone sent us a, uh, a pastor, Steven Anderson bumper. And I'm going to play it for you right now. I would never take things into my own hands or become a vigilante. But I will say this, you know, the Bible says that homosexuals should be put to death in Leviticus 20. Diddly diddly diddly diddly.

Ah, hell diddly diddly diddly. Crap. Can't you homos do anything right? You are the worst human being I have ever met. That's great. I think that turned out great. That's awesome. You did a great job.

Nice job, David. Got a message. This is from Satsuki. And Satsuki wants to know about my deconversion story. My deconversion story. I don't know that I've ever, I don't know if I've told it or not. I'll just be very brief. Um, I actually was kind of in a, I don't know period for a while. So like right after I graduated high school, I started working. So for several

years I was religious. Um, never really had any other influx of any other ideas other than the people that are around me. So I didn't ever really thought about it. Then once I came to college, I started questioning. I didn't understand. I didn't know what was true. And so I started reading all different kinds of religious texts. I wasn't just reading one. I was reading, I was like, oh, well, maybe the Bible's not right. Maybe I'll read the Buddhist text and maybe I'll read this Hindu text and I don't know what's right. You know, like that sort of thing. And I read a bunch of different ones and then I all started, I started to think maybe it's all BS,

I don't know. And then my dog died and I had a total crazy bout of existential anxiety that shot me straight into atheists. As soon as my dog died, I was just like, oh shit, God isn't real.

Oh shit, I'm going to die. And it was just, it just all hit me all at once. I was like 24 at the time. I was like fucking, I was a conservative. It was crushing. It was super crushing. Like for fucking six once. I was like 24 at the time. I was like fucking, I was a conservative. It was super crushing.

Like for fucking six months, I was just like, imagine anxiety for six straight months. It was fucking, oh, it was awful. It was absolutely awful. Every day it was really terrible, but I got through it.

Um, and, uh, and I came out the other side of that tunnel, an atheist afterwards, after I was done, I was just like, no,

that's all bullshit. It's all just garbage. I really wanted to believe when I had all that anxiety i super wanted to go back sure i really really wanted to go i was like no no no doors open let's close the door let's be religious there's a god right shit no you just i just couldn't do it i don't think it works the other way i really totes wanted to do it right i bet i was very very very very very much wanting to do it here is a david ike bumper sent in to us by Robert. We've got David, David, David.

I, I, I. Final, ultimate, legendary, earth power, super max, justice, future, miracle, dream, beautiful, galaxy, big bang, little bang, sunrise, starlight, and moon and fabulous. Secret. Here. See, nobody cares. I love it. Great. I love it.

Well done. There's a lot of good stuff in there. That's really great. Nicely done. So for our Alex Jones show, at a certain point, Alex spouts his favorite line about life extension technologies. And someone in our audience made a petition. And I love this. This is an I petitions petition.

This is an Alex Jones protection petition. petition. This is an Alex Jones protection petition. This petition is to get Alex Jones the secret government life-extending technology so he may experience interdimensional travel just like God promised him. This is absolutely necessary to save him from the alien demons that are currently taking over Earth. And you can sign this petition. There's currently only one signature, but this is amazing, and it needs to go on this this week's show notes this is episode 306 i'll tell you what i just signed it okay and the image that you created of alex jones with his microphone and a tinfoil hat on very funny oh isn't it great it's very funny i also love that travis's picture is crow t robot i just want to point that out love it fucking love it. Oh, God, Tom. President Trump. So let's talk about this. Hillary is now polling even with Trump, both at 40%.

Huh? Wow. Thanks, David. Thanks for letting us know, David. Fucking the worst. I also heard that she's leading in a couple of swing states. Or he's leading in a couple of swing states. That makes me feel very uncomfortable.

We got a message from Jeremy about guns. He said that the AR-15 is an MSR, a modern sporting rifle, not an assault rifle, even though it was built by Armalite for the military and marketed toward the military. I don't know why they would call it a modern sporting rifle. I don't know. Unless they consider our Army a sporting agency. Like, what's the sporting regulation commission that, that,

that, that is like the referee during war. Well, man is the, uh, the greatest sport. It's the most dangerous game, dangerous game.

So he sent us a picture of the deer he killed with it. So, so that's like we said, like we know that you can kill other things other than people with these weapons, but their function is not dear we can also be uh factually incorrect about certain things but that's not and you'd say that we're chock full of logical fallacies um i you never named a single logical fallacy a logical fallacy

is not just being incorrect about data right and also we we dispute that we were incorrect about the data anyway so uh i disagree yeah i disagree pretty much with all your stuff um that you've said uh he said that the the florida nightclub shooter uh had the ar but would have done more damage with a uh with a pistol um i disagree strongly a pistol has a quarter the amount of energy that an AR-15 round has. Like a quarter. A 9mm bullet has like a quarter the amount of energy. And I don't care how masked your

targets are. A pistol is not as efficient. It's just not as efficient a weapon as the AR-15. The AR-15 is an incredibly efficient weapon for its intended purpose. It is an anti-personnel weapon. That's why people use them for home defense, right? It's not because they think a fucking wild turkey is going to break into their house and gobble, gobble, gobble up all

their goods. It's so funny. It's like, yeah, this is a great gun for defending your house. Oh, it's probably good for shooting people then. Well, it's a sporting. It's like, yeah, this is a great gun for defending your house. Oh, it's probably good for shooting people then. Well, it's a sporting rifle. The fucking, what? Like, fucking pick one, man. Fucking pick one. Yes, you can kill a deer with it. You can kill a person with it.

You can kill lots of things with guns. Like, guns are reasonably indiscriminate about what the bullet hits. They're not like, whoa, whoa, bro. Don't point this at that. It's a bad call. But I have shot these weapons. I've shot a number of these weapons. I've shot a number of pistols. I'm not unfamiliar

with these guns. I would contend very, very strongly based on my experience and the function and design of these weapons that a pistol is a much less effective weapon than this is. You know why a pistol is great for killing some people? Is that it's

concealable. Right. That's its advantage. That's the advantage of a pistol. Right. To say like, oh no, the pistol's just the same thing. I mean, like the barrel is like fucking six times as long. Right. I don't even know that I want to ban them either. That's the thing. Right. We're not even talking about this. I'm not even talking about them. Banning them? I'm not saying like

fucking they should be banned. I'm saying like fucking, you know, you know what I think, what I really think should be happening with gun control. If we're really going to go down that fucking garden path, what I really think should be happening with gun control is there should be more training and it should be harder to get a license to get a gun. It shouldn't be impossible, but it should be harder to get. You should have to have a lot more hours behind the fucking wheel. You should make sure that you have to have a lot of screening a lot of fucking psychological checks and then finally they fucking grant you with a gun and you say okay cool you can get a gun but you can't even do anything with it until then you have to go to a range and rent it to fucking shoot the fucking thing and i think i personally i would add to that i like those ideas

but i would add to that that there is no reason not to have, you know, much less these ultra magazines that you can go out and buy. You don't need to fucking go deer hunting. You don't need 15, 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 rounds. That shit's ridiculous. You don't need that shit. You just don't need it. It's five rounds. Five tops.

If you can't hit what you're trying to hit with five rounds, you can't hit it. I also think, too, there needs to be some sort of... I mean, we can't do these things. The thing is, it's all just me fucking jerking off. It's fucking bullshit, because it's never going to happen, but a registry would be nice, too.

To know who's got what. But I know everybody's like, well, then the government knows, and then what'll happen? Nothing's going to happen. Nothing's going to happen. Because the fucking army's made up. To know who's got what. Right. But I know everybody's like, well, then the government knows, and then what'll happen? Nothing's going to happen. Nothing's going to happen. Because the fucking army's made up of Americans. That's why. So that's going to wrap it up for this episode.

We are going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral,

brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces Cancer Cures Detox Reflex Foot Massage Death in Towers Tarot Cards Psychic Healing

Crystal Balls Bigfoot Yeti Aliens Churches Mosques Synagogues Temples

Dragons Giant Worms Atlantis Dolphins Truthers Birthers Witches Wizards

Vaccine Nuts Shaman Healers Evangelists Conspiracy Double Speak Stigmata Nonsense birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only.

Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music you