Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 307: Tacit Disapproval

Episode Date: July 25, 2016

     

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey guys, Glory Holes, Reverend Jesus here. Hey, I was just wondering, it really strikes me as super fucking odd that all these evangelicals are getting up in arms about the Pokemon Go. What the fu- You guys have been trying to figure out how to get kids to come to your fucking churches for decades, for probably the entire time that your churches have existed. And somebody put these things in your churches that are attracting people, and you're bitching because it's not the right fucking people,

and they're not interested in the bullshit you're selling. Fuck y'all. Anyway, glory hole. Y'all have a good one. Hey, it's me, Slim Tom. Y'all have a good one. Montana Firearms Freedom Act. But I actually had a friend sitting on the legislative board at the time, and they had proposed another gun law that would basically allow people to brandish a firearm if they felt threatened, even to a police officer. Thankfully, clear heads prevailed, and that one was shot down,

or else people would be getting shot all the time at traffic stops, especially since Montana has one of the highest gun ownership rates in the country. I already know police officers that say that every stop they make, they assume the person has a gun and is likely to use it. So, it's not just a theory, it's actually a credible threat to a lot of these officers, and it definitely changes the situation for them. Anyways, glory hole and you guys

have one of these crazy gun laws. Check out Montana. We're fucking nuts. And yeah, I like guns. Anyways, glory hole guys. Make really work. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast everyone who gets in our way.

I had a total... Jesus, dude. Holy shit. I fucking had an Alex Jones style brain freeze. Oh my god, you're just like, ah, what is the next line? I looked around like, where am I? You're looking at the stage guy on the side, line, line, line. I've only done this 307 times.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and forgetfulness to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this. This is episode 307 of Cognitive Dissonance. And I know that because I remembered it as we were talking.

I can't believe my brain was just, it was one of those moments you're just like, we have experienced total shutdown. You're like, wait a minute. No, I need to know. Where am I? Who are you? Your brain will be shut down for 10 seconds. Right? Why do I even know what happened there?

I think I had a mini stroke. I mean, it's not the first one today, but it's the bigger one. And the thing is. Is the left side of my face slouchy? No, more than normal. How would you tell, right? Like the jowls. It's all kind of slouchy.

Right? You can fucking tuck money in the jowls like a stripper with a G-string. You need a structural engineer for the cheeks just to keep them up. It's not even like a normal where you lose your train of thought in the middle of a sentence. No, it's really not. And then you can use filler words and just say it's all about the coaching or something. You're all sick! Oh, be nice!

Oh, my son doesn't stand a chance. The whole world's gone gay! Oh, my God, what's happening now? We work hard. We play hard. Everybody dance now! So Cecil, this first story comes from politifact.com. I know, everybody. It's not from the Raw story or from Right Wing Watch.

Relax. GOP chair wrongly claims facts show children do better with straight parents. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus. He looks like Mr. Bean. He's uglier than that okay weird no that's fair that's fair this is a man like this is like one of those skinny guys who still has a second chin you know like look at him it's like a tom hanks face right yeah what's going on like you're not even fat and your chin's just like hey man like what about if i brought a friend like

why do you look like a pug? Why is that? And he's got that fucking squinty-eyed, fucking flaccid face. Like, his fucking face couldn't even get hard. You know? Like, this is a guy, his wife's just like, I don't know, just fucking put your finger under it or something. I can't. It doesn't work out.

Just, I don't know, tell me when you're done. Tie this real tight around your cock. Right, exactly. It's just like, I don't know, shake it in're done tie this real tight around your cock right exactly it's just like i don't shake it in i'm not sure how this thing works dude look i'm just i'm just in it for the money yeah like that's all it's probably true so uh one of the things that they talk about in this article is talking about this guy specifically saying that the same-sex marriage essentially uh the data leads, he says, lead to an inescapable conclusion that every child deserves a married mom and dad.

So they can't argue against whether or not gays can get married anymore. So you can't do that. That ship has sailed. That ship has sailed. Right. The general public, for the most part, is looking at gay relationships

and shrugging their shoulders, for the most part. looking at gay relationships and shrugging their shoulders for the most part most people are saying that so they don't have a they don't have a morality leg to stand on really anymore they have a biblical leg i guess if you're kind of a thumper you still you still and you really want to but you're in the minority at this you are in the minority right yeah so the next The next tactic is to try to show that it's harmful, right? So you can't show that it's immoral because nobody cares. You can't show that it's illegal because nobody – it's not. So now we're doing – it's bad for kids. It's a hurtful – now it's just bad.

It's going to endanger someone else. Right. Now it's just bad. It's going to endanger and endanger someone else. Right. But you know what's so fucked up about that argument is like it's a thing that's fucked up about the morality argument with respect to gay marriage. And even the Bible and everything else, it's like we're – everybody and fucking – nobody bitches about the availability of divorce. No.

Right? And the Bible is like not unclear about divorce. The Bible is like, yeah, you shouldn't do that. That's not a thing. Yeah. And the research actually is terribly clear about divorce. It's like it's not super good for kids, like not real good. But everybody wants that fucking option. Sure. Right. Because at some point you roll over and fucking look at your spouse. You're like, fucking can I get a-over? Mulligan! Mulligan! Right?

Like, everybody wants that. I'm a monster. But so many people are like, even if you're fucking married, you're like, I want my options open. This idea that like, well, we shouldn't allow gay people to be gay. You can't fucking stop them.

Yeah. What are you going to do? You're going to fucking write some fucking words on a piece of paper in the right order that makes somebody have a fucking, their dick gets hard when they look at a different gender. I can't even imagine what series of words you write in the right order on a piece of paper. And I'm like, well, no, fucking dudes make me fucking hard. Like, that's not a thing. It's not a thing.

Maybe it's figures in a dollar amount. Hard-ish. hard like it's not a thing maybe it's not a thing maybe it's figures in a dollar amount hard ish i like your indecent proposal right like if i close my eyes i'm gonna close my eyes and think of the queen here we go he also says um he says uh the best scenario for kids is a loving mom and dad however it doesn't mean that all single parents or same sex parents, uh, that doesn't mean that all single parents or same sex parents, that any parent in America can't love a child, can't raise a child. It's that a child and that a child can't be successful and loved.

It doesn't mean that it just means what the facts say. So he's wrong about the facts, but then also, aren't you pissing on all the single parents out there? Yeah. But this is the party of like fucking I want to be in your bedroom. So the single parents, of course, you guys are all fucking monsters right in their eyes. I can't imagine them looking at those.

They're right a lot of times. Yeah. I mean, I know from personal experience, they're right with 100% frequency in my experience. So those people, they don't care about those people at all um those people are not those people are voting uh those people hate themselves if they're a fucking republican right i mean i don't even know how you do that how could you be a single parent it's like those log cabin republicans it's like yeah i'm fucking gay but i'm a republican like fucking have did you did you not read? What are you, kidding?

You've got to just be a guy who doesn't give a fuck about social issues. That's the only way that I think that that works. You know, let's talk about that. I know this is derailing for a second, but can we talk about that for a second? Sure. I don't understand how economic issues can ever outweigh social issues. Because the overriding message there then is money is more important than people am i missing that yeah i mean i don't know how you do it either but

i think that's how they logically get behind it in their own way too but like doesn't it make you a dickhead well i think it makes you a reductionist in a huge way but aren't you incredibly selfish like i make an okay dollar like but i'm not on, there's no way that I'm going to vote. I would vote against my best, against my better financial interests as long as it coincides with my ethical and social interests. I do every time. I vote against my best financial interests every single time I vote. All the time. It's like, yeah, maybe this other person, I'd get to keep more of my money.

But I still have to wake up and look at myself in the mirror when I shave. And I can't do this. So aren't you in a position where you're saying money is more important than other people's happiness and their ability to seek joy? Honestly, I'm asking that question honestly. I don't know. I don't understand that at all. I don't know how you reject those things. I understand that they can be important to you. Yeah. Look, money's not unimportant. It's the only reason I wake up and go to work. And I do think that there's, that there's something to be said about a financial, a secure financial future for not just me, but many other people will bring the social

strata up and help and help a great deal of people. Cause up and help a great deal of people because money can help a great deal of people. Sure. So I feel like if somebody is voting particularly on those particular things, then I think that maybe they're thinking of it and they're just approaching it in a different way. They do care about social issues, but they don't care about them in the sense that they want to legislate on social issues.

Instead, they just want to make sure that everybody has enough money to be comfortable. Does that make sense? You know what I mean? I guess it does, but it's like – but the other side of that is like if I vote Republican, I'm not making sure that everybody has enough money. No, I know. You're making sure I have enough money. Sure, I know. Because you're voting against welfare programs yeah i just i struggle with i tend to i tend to think that a

lot of people don't understand what their party is really for too like i think that i think that there are a lot of really like straight up single issue voters out there there's probably many people that abortion is the only thing that they pay attention to they don't give a fuck so you think taxes are something that like it's all somebody votes on is taxes? That's taxes. Somebody only votes on immigration. Somebody only votes on, you know, whatever. Those people are just assholes, though.

Does that make you an asshole? I don't know. Like, there's a whole world full of people. There's 370 million people in the United States whose needs all have to be considered. And if the only thing that you're worried about is abortion, is one fucking thing,

isn't that view of the world so ridiculously myopic that like, it's just, it's a dickhead way to look at the world. I mean, I'm not even trying to be facetious. Like, like, is that a fair way?

Is that a, is that an intellectually honest or ethical way to look at the world? I don't know. I don't know either. way to look at the world? I don't know. I don't know either. It doesn't seem like it. I don't know the answer to the question. I don't know. I feel like if you're that type of person, you're probably pretty fucking invested in it, though. You know what I mean?

So these are the type of people who are like fucking standing outside of Planned Parenthood every Saturday morning. Sure. You know, these are the type of people. I mean, so they're probably so heavily invested in it. It's a defining feature of their life. So it's one thing that they're doing all the time. I don't know how you get that invested in taxes or tax dollars. Dude, I can't get that invested in anything. Like I can't get invested like that in anything. Yeah, I don't know where I don't know where that comes from.

I mean, I personally myself have a broad range of things that I pay attention to. Right. You know, from foreign policy to military spending to, you know, social issues to, you know, people who are in need, things like that. All that stuff makes the... It all goes in the bucket, right? And you swirl it around, you see kind of where it comes out. And when I look at it, it looks like Trump. Yeah.

I think. Yeah, why are you... Trump. Stop. I'm totally voting for Trump. You are not voting for Trump. Oh, man, I saw. When he picked Pence, that really changed my mind.

That is what clinched it for you? That changed my mind, yeah. When the monster picked a bigger monster? Pence. Trump Pence. Let's talk about that, too. Because you and I were talking before the show about Trump's desire to delegate, let's say. As somebody in management, I am sympathetic to the desire to manage.

You're pro-delegation. I delegate all my work. I understand. And I walk around and it's like, how's that project coming? What was it again? Doing good? Yeah. All right.

Yeah, that affects my incentive so and i might go walk around no i'm a terrible person but like i understand the desire to to delegate right like you can't possibly do every single thing yourself but like trump said that he is going to have his vp be in charge of domestic policy and foreign policy at least that's what Kasich's guy says that's the thing though like I mean I'll be in charge of the moon policy what we're hearing is uh the statement from Kasich right so Kasich was approached his his staffer was approached by Donald Trump jr or something and then he essentially uh said you would be in charge of

these two things now that's again that's what we're hearing from these things. I don't know if it's true, but if true, if true, it's true. He's essentially saying, just be president and I'll watch. Right. Yeah. What's funny to me is all the fucking Trump fucks out there like to use the word cuckold a lot. And I cannot think of a more cuckold fucking presidency than you watching someone else run your country right they might as well fucking mount ivanka or whatever the fuck that

woman's name malaria malaria or whatever that woman's name is they might as well fuck her right in front of you on the oval desk and while we're talking about that it is impossible not to talk about the speech sure yeah the speech was amazing the The speech was amazing. The speech is funny. The speech is so funny. I will say this. Thomas Smith had a funny tweet about it, basically saying, must be really hard to write in original platitudes.

Because it's true, right? Every single goddamn speech I listen to fucking, I listen to Michelle's original one, and I'm like, fucking jerk me off some more, whatever. You know, like, all this fucking, what drives me crazy about that is both of them seem to talk about like how we need to instill values like you're the president you're not instilling anything fix the country or make it work but shut

the fuck up about instilling fucking values that isn't your job it's not you're fucking you're not hired for that i didn't hire fucking michelle to be a tutor to my kids i hired her so that i i hired her husband not her i hired her so she could tell kids they're too fat i hired her husband to run the fucking country make sure there's fucking you know everything's fucking going well chicken in every pot i don't give a fuck fucking values are not your response of fucking ability and that's that what makes me mad is both of those speeches are talking about my parents did this. Well, hold on. And I'd like to do it.

Fuck off. To be fair, they're the same speech. So we don't have to talk about both of the speeches. That's true. They are one speech. They don't. My favorite part is that she throws an homage to fucking Rick Ashley in there. That's my favorite part.

What? You didn't hear this? No. He will never, ever give up. I lost him perfectly. He will never, ever let you die. Isn't that amazing?

That's my favorite part. That's my favorite part of the whole thing. That is fucking beautiful. That's my favorite. Not only are we plagiarizing from one source, we might as well plagiarize from... But then she Rickrolled her own speech.

Jesus. I mean, this is CJ Werleman level plagiarism. That's not that crazy. This is Jonah Lehrer plagiarism. This is not Werleman style. Come on now. Outrageous. Good sir.

Outrageous. So, so, yeah. She Rickrolled her own speech. I know she Rickrolled her own speech. Who does that? She does. Goddamn. Also, she sounds so fucking foreign.

It's ridiculous. She sounds like fucking Belki. You know what I mean? Fucking ridiculous. Goddamn. A vote for Trump is a vote for perfect strangers. This is a guy who hates immigrants. I don't even understand.

No, we only hate the proud immigrants. He's like a fucking, he's like a conundrum and a fucking riddle and a fucking enigma. Hot Eastern European immigrants. Are you kidding me? He's like, she does butt stuff. She's in, like, it's fine. She looks like a cat.

She's had so much plastic surgery, like, she's starting to, like,'s had so much fucking she's had so much plastic surgery like she's starting to like stretch she does she does have that like that that like that like pinned in the back like there's binder clips exactly like you reach to the back of her head there's like fucking binder clips back there you let one go it's like a slingshot her eyes go flying across the room she empties her nose that's how shees. She just unclips that thing back there and just there is there is a certain level of like Botox and plastic surgery where you're just like, you barely look human. You're like, I mean, I'd still fuck you, but like you look real weird. Like I'm going to have to think about somebody else. Yeah.

In order to fucking talk to you, I got to fucking put my hands in a V and say live long and prosper. You know? The fuck? That chick is a fucking – I walked into the office today. I had woken up this morning and I checked my mail. I checked Facebook and other things. And I saw a whole bunch of those videos comparing the Obama speech and the fucking Trump speech. And they're not a little close.

No, but did you see the Trump thing that came out though today no so supposedly this was written an apology letter by one of the staffers who wrote the pro the thing essentially he asked ivanka or whatever what is her name millennia millennia or whatever the fuck her name is oh but you just keep calling her it's like a different you're like i like calling her a vodka but i think that's one of his other wives one of his wives who gives a fuck wife number seven just call her three this woman said to the speech writer hey uh he asked her what what what's inspiring what what what's good what's inspiring i'll help you obama's speech and she said i really liked michelle obama's speech and you know and he said well what parts you know was the things? And she quoted it verbatim. And then he used those verbatim quotes directly in there.

He didn't alter it or change it. He didn't take the ideas. He just went, boom, and just threw it directly. That's what they put out as a press release today. So that's their explanation is that the staffer heard from her that it was. But the one thing that puzzles me about that is, did she not read it in preparation? Because then she could have just looked at him and said,

hey, this is directly from his speech. Right. You know what I mean? That's why I'm giving you this look, right? But like, it's either a cover up by theirs so she can feel better about herself, or it's truthful and it's just a total fuck up or whatever. It's just another, I mean honestly, honestly Cecil, I still feel like he's just fucking with us.

I'm just going to have my wife read Obama's wife's speech. There's a point where it's like there's nothing I can't do. There's nothing – there is is gonna come a point where he gets fucking sworn in without pants like he's just gonna be like he's gonna put his dick on that fucking bible and he's gonna take his little tiny little fingers you won't even be able to see it though it'll be like a tan little shriveled cocktail it's like a tiny little shrimp like he's just straight fucking with us well we'll see he is now the no longer the presumptive nominee so i i can't i'm gonna puke president trump fuck you i think i'm gonna vote

for him just to piss that lady off in uh in new york i think that's gonna be my what does it matter in illinois i could vote for him it's not a big deal come on let me vote for him no i'm gonna vote no take a picture of him. No. I am not friends with anybody that fucking votes for Trump. Done. Dead to me. The thing is.

Dead to me. You can't do that to me. I can't. You're actually right. I get to do this, and you're fucked. You're basically fucked. You have to take it. You have to take it.

Yeah, this is good. This is what's going to happen. I'm going to text it to you. Oh, God. I'll fucking be super impotently angry take it. Yeah, this is good. This is what's going to happen. I'm going to text it to you. Oh, God. I'll fucking be super impotently angry about it. Voting day is going to be the best of the days. You know, like, fuck you. How about that?

I'm going to take a little bit of my hair in there and put it on the ballot and take a picture of it. It's going to be awesome. Jesus Christ. I know what hair. I know what hair, good sir. How about a little manscaping? It's just polite. Everybody deserves a clean work surface.

I bought a beard trimmer the other day, and it's one of those walls. W-A-H-L. And I told my wife, I said, when I finally do a little manscaping down there, I'm going to have to put the balls to the wall. Very nice. I like that it's like when i

finally get around i finally get when i finally get around to grooming myself like a proper human thing is that i actually have to i actually have to get in there with hedge trimmers first so you know it's a process when you start to cut down you don't just go in there with the weed whacker you got to go in there with the right first you have to go in there with the backhoe look then you have to go jesus with the backhoe. Look, you have to go. Jesus, man. What is fucking happening over there? I'm Italian. What do you want?

This story is from iNews, the essential daily briefing. Saudi woman denied cesarean because husband not present. That's not the only thing. That's not the only thing. This story is a fucking horror show about what it's like to be a woman in Saudi Arabia. Here, spoiler alert, it's the worst thing ever. You can't do a fucking anything. This woman's like, I'd like to go get a cup of coffee. No, you can't go get a cup of coffee.

You've got to send somebody out to get a coffee while you fucking. You've got to get a driver to take you to it. It's just like this is a horror show you want to talk about like what's wrong with uh having a society built on religious principles having a society that's built on a book of of uh laws written 2 000 fucking years ago or 1400 years ago by a fucking militant warrior asshole, fucking probably with fucking epilepsy. This is what's fucking wrong. This is it.

This is exactly what's wrong. Absolutely. This is not a cultural issue. Unless the cultural issue is you've ruined your culture. Yeah. And it's based specifically off the fucking, you know, the bullshit patriarchy shit that is in that book. Right.

You know what I mean? Like they're pulling from a fucking source here. They're not just fucking pulling this out of fucking thin air. They're pulling from a source. And one of the things that was so appalling about this, there's, there's a lot that's appalling in this article. There's a bunch of people giving examples of what happens. It's so terrible. They can't travel abroad to study. They can't, uh, you know, they can't go down. Like you said, they can't go down the street. But one of the most appalling ones is this is a 62-year-old retired university lecturer. My son is my guardian, believe it or not.

This is really humiliating. My own son, the one I delivered, the one I raised, he is my guardian. So essentially these guardians are appointed. No matter what, if you're a woman, you have to have a guardian. You just have to have somebody who looks out for you. And they can't leave the house. They can they can't there's all this shit they can't

do they can't leave without their permission they can't they can't leave the country without their permission and they essentially you're essentially like a fucking slave to this person because they decide just like if you were a guardian of a fucking a kid here they couldn't travel without your permission it's the same thing here you know I actually, I'm glad you said that because one thing that struck me again and again is this idea of a guardian. You know, when you think of the idea of a guardian, you think of a power dynamic, right? Like at least I do. I think of a guardian, I think of a power dynamic. I think I am the guardian of my children, right? My children are under my guardianship. And people who are disabled or otherwise need help, they can come under your guardianship.

Women are not a class of citizen. Well, clearly in Saudi Arabia, they're fucking citizens. They're second. So far down. But this is a straight ownership relationship. Sure. And the use of the word guardian is kind of offensive. It is.

Because a guardian, what does a guardian do? A guardian looks out for the best interests of somebody else. Fucking women? Like 51% of the human population? I think they got that shit. Yeah, but I think in, you know, just to play devil's advocate. This is going to be good. There are guardians of the galaxy.

I knew something was coming. I knew something was coming. I mean, seriously, like in Saudi Arabia, like it's so ridiculous. Like the line of succession could honestly pass to a raccoon before a woman would actually have some autonomy. Or an animate tree. Right. It's like at some point it's like, well, we're out of husbands and brothers and uncles and even your own son. Yeah.

I don't know. Not all those. I don't know. Rod all those. I don't know. Make a fucking possum in charge of this human being. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to make a snowman. In Saudi Arabia? A sandman?

Well, you make a snowman. You just have to make one every day. It's the saddest snowman? Well, did you ask the snowman? Yeah. Can I go outside? What does the snowman say? What did you ask the snowman? Yeah. Like, can I go outside? What does the snowman say? What does Mr. Snowman say?

Well, he's very quiet about it. Then I would take that as tacit disapproval. It's just fucking awful. I also, the only other thing I want to say, Cecil, is that from this article, it says, the laws have improved after calls from women's rights activists. Domestic abuse is now illegal. Oh, that's an improvement.

And it also says women no longer need permission from their guardian to go to work. Oh, you're so. So here's the here's the big progressive change. Hey, can I go to work and make money and then bring it home where you're probably in charge of the money? Yeah, where are you? I have to get your fucking approval if I want to spend something. Right? I can't go to Starbucks, but I can work at Starbucks.

Isn't that insane? That's the improvement, too. that's insane. That's the improvement too. That's the, that's better. That's better. Last year we were able to roll over women's necks with our cars. Now we just get to strangle them. Well, speaking of strangling. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Let's move on to the next story. Oh my God. Why? No, there's no, we've never had a segue that has worked well that way. Oh, this is terrible. I would say no we've never had a segue that has worked well that way. Oh, this is terrible. I would say no one has ever had a segue. This is from CNN. Brother of Pakistanis, Kandel Bolak.

I'm sure I'm pronouncing it. Oh, that's perfect. That's it. So bad. That is it. Sorry. Nailed it. I'm proud of strangling my sister, says monster.

What a degenerate to say, like, I'm proud of this. This is an, and it's an honor thing, right? This is the honor killing. This is no place other than religion, right? This is the only thing. And he killed her specifically because the fucking, she took a picture with the fucking grand mufti or whatever the fuck the guy was and posted it and that guy got questioned because he was with a woman i don't know what the fuck happened but in any case there's a fucking there's a picture that gets taken it

gets posted that guy gets questioned or taken down off of his fucking like altar or whatever they do put him in his fucking big robes or something out of his robes and then this this guy got super pissed. His fucking sister's there, drugs her, and then fucking chokes her to death. And then he's just like, yeah, it's fucking what you do. He's like, I'm proud of it. She was bringing dishonor to my family.

I can't even imagine. Like, she took pictures. Picture fucking pictures. You're a murderer. And your family's like, yeah, we're on the side of the murderer. I mean, that's really what he's saying here is like one of these actions brings dishonor to my family. But it's not murder. But it's not murder.

But it's not murder. You know, like if somebody in my family is found guilty of murdering people, it's like, that's a super big dishonor to my family. If there's anything called honor, if that's even a fucking thing, right? called honor yeah if that's even a fucking thing right if my family name has something to besmirch yeah i feel like you could besmirch the ever-loving shit out of it with murder you would think murder would be the thing that's the biggest besmirching tool it really is like there's no there's no better way you know there's no worse crime there's no i mean it's the thing it is the thing right it's like if you had fucking you know know, Honor Shop fucking 3.1 or something, and you're like, I got to grab the besmirching tool, and you're like besmirching across the screen.

It's the murder tool. That's what you use. Yeah. Here we go. AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, except no substitutes.

Fucking this dude, this from the Raw story. Man, I have, I will say this. I will say this. I have been avoiding talking about this guy for a long time. I very rarely grab a story from this Joshua, yeah, Ferenstein or whatever the fuck he is, because he's a fucking, he's just a provocateur.

Sure. Like all he does is he finds whatever the controversy of the day is and then he fucking weighs in with a stupid backward baseball cap fucking idiot nonsense, driving in his car with his fucking YouTube videos. Sure. The guy is a fucking tool of a fucking tool. This guy is essentially the Fred Durst of Christianity. He is worse than that. And that is a fucking – that is so bad. Let me tell you a Fred Durst story.

Fred Durst is the Limp Bizkit dude. When I was in college – this dates me a little bit. When I was in college, I went to a corn show, and Limp Bizkit was a nothing band that opened for corn. They opened for the band that opened for Korn, right? Okay, yeah. So they were nothing and they were nobody and we were in the fucking crowd

and we're all fucking moshing and behaving like dicks and fucking Limp Bizkit comes out and they fucking play their amazingly terrible music. It was the worst thing I ever heard. It was like fucking glass breaking and cats being tortured.

It was fucking, it was a little worse than that. Okay, yeah, sure. It's like, it's the sound of your fucking mom getting raped with a guitar that's the sound of someone strangling the life out of somebody who's saying sedated right it's like that that's it yeah and fucking that the fucking limp guy not biscuit we're talking about limp limp limp durst or whatever you know he gets out there and he fucking throws his fucking cassette tapes his demo tapes into the crowd sure yeah and i caught one and i was shocked because i've never caught anything before or terrible catching i think i caught it like like just reflexively my brain was like catch it whoa and i was like holy shit i caught a thing i've never caught a thing ever. And I put it in my pocket.

I got in my car on the way home from the show. I put it in my fucking car, listened to about 10 seconds of it. I was driving. I still remember where I was. I was driving home from Chicago, and I was like, whoa! I ejected it and threw it out the window. I just chucked it right out the window. Like, that's the worst.

And I was so proud of it. It's the only thing to date I have ever caught. I should have kept it just for the window. Like, that's the worst. And I was so proud of it. It's the only thing to date I have ever caught. I should have kept it just for that reason. You should have bronzed it. That guy sucks that bad. And this guy's worse. This guy is worse than that. This guy couldn't be a fucking bigger douche if he was hanging out of a fucking pussy stinking like salad dressing.

All right. So here we go. I'm going to play Joshua Fuerst. Hey guys, Josh Fuerst on here. You guys remember when we used to put on those silly little uniforms, Batman and Superman, and we used to run around and pretend like we were superheroes? Well, guess what?

They were comic book characters. But today there's men and women who put on a uniform every single day, and they're real superheroes. They're running into the midst of situations that have nothing to do with them, and they're real superheroes they're running into the midst of situations that have nothing to do with them and they're taking care of business on your behalf every time you're in danger every time someone pulls a gun on you or does something to you they're willing to defend you and they're called police officers

just shoot just shoot the fucking thin blue line all over my eyes if you can just fucking you can come in my eyes if you can. Just fucking, you can come in my eyes. I'll just hold them open. I'll hold them open and you can just ejaculate in my face. God, how pathetic is that? Jesus. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm embarrassed for you.

And that's hard to do because I hate you. The back of this guy's throat is bruised. Oh, God. Like the fucking, that fucking little dangly thing in the back of his throat covered in semen. He's actually missing a patch of hair from the back of his head. That's how fucking, that's how deep.

That's how hard he's been face-fucked. That's how deep. Right? Yeah. We got people out there today shooting heroes, killing heroes. Again, today, what, seven more? Seven more police officers shot, potentially three dead? Really, guys? Are you really killing heroes? You want to know what the problem again today what seven more seven more police officers shot potentially three dead really guys are you really killing heroes you want to know what the problem is is that we have this movement

in america that is absolutely degrading the lives of good police officers is he talking about black lives i think he's talking about black lives matter here but he's not gonna say he's not gonna say it because he's a fucking coward and we you see i was raised in a home where we respected police in fact i had a little police uniform i dressed up i played like i was a cop why because i was taught that cops were heroes well that's the fucking wrong thing to teach i would never teach anybody that cops are here cops have a job that's a job person people with a person job yeah that's not a dude or a lady who wakes up in the morning and goes to work and they have a job and sometimes that job is hard sometimes it's not as hard the morning and goes to work and they have a job. And sometimes that job is hard and sometimes it's not as hard.

And that's how jobs work. And they made a fucking conscious decision about what their job looked like, what the dangers of that job were, what that job entails and what the risk and reward benefit of that works like. They're not fucking heroes. Yeah. They're people with work and they're people with jobs. It's not to say that you couldn't be a hero

and be a police officer. You could be heroic as a police officer for sure. And actually, to be honest, there's probably a much better chance to be heroic as a police officer than there would be for firefighters, etc. There's a 0% chance of me doing anything heroic. Yeah, me too. At my work, I am doing zero heroic things

a day. And the chances of me doing a heroic thing during the day unless some outside force acted upon my work is zero. It's always zero. To say they're all de facto heroes also puts them on a position that, you know, they could abuse their power. It means we can't criticize, right?

And we can't be critical. Absolutely. Absolutely. I've always been, you know, I'm on the opposite side of this guy. I've always been wary of the police. Today, we got kids that are growing up in these different homes. Different homes. Different homes. Huh.

I think he means black homes. They're growing up in different homes. Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. It may not be right for you. It may not be right for some. Man is born. He's a Man of means. They're both black.

That's amazing. Yeah, they grew up in different homes. Different homes to move the world. Where the kids, where the parents are not respecting police or cussing them out, calling them pigs, telling kids not to trust them. That's the problem. No. No. Here's the thing.

I didn't trust police. I still don't trust most police officers. I'm not a fucking, I'm not a threat to fucking society. I think a lot of people, there's a fucking, what about that lawyer that fucking talks about how never talk to the police? There's a motherfucker who doesn't talk to the police. That dude's an upstanding citizen. The dude who taught our concealed carry class, who was a former cop, his advice was don't talk to the cops. That was his actual advice.

He was a cop for 10 years. He's like, I wouldn't talk. If something ever happens, get a lawyer. Yeah. We're fostering a generation of people who no longer have respect for authority it's a godless and a disgusting generation yeah that's that's fucking every generation has ever said that since the beginning of time so look i'm calling on every american citizen i love jesus okay wait a minute was that

an interjection i don't even understand how that works. I'm calling on every American citizen. I love Jesus. I love Jesus. I'm calling on every American citizen. I love deep dish. I love Jesus. I'm a preacher. But you know what?

I also carry an FN-57 filled with 20 rounds of pure brutality right there. Because Jesus would have definitely carried an armor-piercing sidearm. Jesus just needs hand-piercing sidearm. I know. And foot. And pretty much any bullet will do that. That's it. That's not an issue.

Look, I may love Jesus, but if I see you pull a gun on an officer, you want to know whose side I'm on? That's right. I'm going to fill you with 60 rounds of pure lead 60 so he's fucking you've shot me 20 times with a fucking basically like an anti-aircraft weapon and then you've and then you've taken the clip out reloaded it i've done it again done it again and then done it again in the midst of all that you've decided that's not enough right i'm gonna do it again this is some of that fucking internet warrior shit, right? This is what we were talking about the other day when we did that show.

We were talking about, like, these are people who want something like this to happen. Here's the thing. The police never need this guy's help for anything unless they fucking maybe ordered an extra chalupa. Like, that's the only way they would ever need this guy's help. Like, they don't need your help. They don't need you to fucking be like, citizens arrest. They don't need that. They don't need you backing them up and standing behind them with your gun they're probably more nervous that way i can't even imagine can you imagine a scenario where there's a fucking shootout with the pull in the police and some dude you're just like hang on

a minute let me get out my gun as a random citizen this cop would be like yep you're not making me any safer you're fucking some untrained backwards baseball cap wearing fucking internet pastor with a fucking hand cannon. It doesn't matter. I don't feel any more comfortable. That's not even it, though. If I heard a gunshot and I was that police officer, I'd just shoot that guy, too. I was talking to a cop. Again, this cop lives in Canada.

But he was saying, if there's ever an active shooter situation and I get called to it and somebody has a gun, I'm not going to ask which side they're on. You're not going to spend the time to be like, wait, what's your gun? Whose side are you on? That's why he wears a shirt that says good guy. He has one of those on. No, actually, it's his butt plug. I'm sorry. That's what it says.

Tomato, tomato. And I guarantee you, you're going to have lead poisoning. How clever. It's so funny with his joking. Look, guys, it's time that we as Americans, we as Christians, we got to start carrying guns. We as Christians got to start carrying guns.

Before Jesus had invented the very concept of kinetic energy and how to harness it with gunpowder, which would later come from China, which they didn't know was a place yet. Because we got to protect our superheroes, our police officers. If you agree with me, take a moment, share, like. Nobody agrees with you.

You're an idiot. You're an idiot. You're the fucking dumbest human being that's ever owned a camera. I don't even know how this guy passed his concealed carry test to shooting things. Yes, you do. That thing is ridiculous. But this is the kind of guy whose fucking eyes are so fat you could blind him with dental floss.

You know what I mean? Like, this is a fucking guy. This is a guy who looks like a fucking human Sharpay. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, wait, is there eyes in there? I can't really tell. Like, your forehead is so fat. I can't actually tell if there's eyes in there. Is he Asian or is it

sunny? I don't know. This guy is such a twat, though. This is exactly the type of mentality, though, I think that a lot of people that are concealed carry have. At least... We ran into it. You know, out of the... It was like a third

of the class was about that. They're like, they're hoping for an opportunity. They're waiting. They're excited. To use a gun on another human being. They're excited for that. Right. And I wonder at what level is it going to be that, you know, I mean, I think he said in there, if you shoot him, I'll shoot you. But what level, you know, where are you going to escalate the violence up to gun if they don't have a gun? When exactly does that happen?

Well, you know, that's the thing, though, right? It's because he sets up, what he does is he sets an impossible bar. He sets an impossible scenario. Right. And so, and then he gets to say, like, you know, it's like, well, if you shoot the president, I'll shoot you. Okay, well, the likelihood of you being around on the day somebody shoots at the president is fucking nil. The day that I'm around, you know how many times I've seen people shoot at the cops? Never times.

That's how many times. Never times. Doesn't happen. It's not a thing that I've ever seen. Very often. You know, I could very well make the statement, like, you know what I'll do if I see you shoot at the cops? I'll grow wings and fly, and I'll fly up to the moon, and I'll pick up the moon, and I'll throw the moon at you. Like, okay, probably not going to do it.

Because it's never going to happen. Exactly. Your prerequisites are ridiculous. And that's why, like, when I think about the problem of people just walking around in this country with guns, one of the problems is guns make weak men feel big. They make small men feel large. This is a small man. I mean, not physically.

He's clearly fucking covered in fucking gordita juice. This is a guy who greases up the sides of his doors to slide into his fucking front seat. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to Dissonance.Podcast at gmail.com

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This story comes from Right Wing Watch. Michael Massey, Black Lives Matter, worse than the KKK. I just want to apologize ahead of time. I tried to listen. I'm not even kidding. I didn't get through all this because this guy is so fucking boring to listen to. I have no idea how far this clip is going to go. I don't even know if this is going to make it to the show.

This guy is so he's that bad. It's pretty boring. So here we go. This is fucking Massey on true news. And these these these these dark forces these evil forces have dark flame why they got to be dark what's up with that bro man huh he's racist sounds like a racist already i think he's black gathered these lies and perpetuated a a violence on America, perpetuated loss of life and destruction of property, and the highest law enforcement officer in the land,

Loretta Lynch, tells them that they will be... Well, fucking spit it out! Holy shit! He's not so much boring as he is fucking illiterate. Holy shit! Fucking make a point! Use all your words, string them together

in the order. Think about the point you're trying to make and make the fucking point. Jesus! It's really hard to listen to. He's super slow! It's like... Really hard to listen to. Life's super slow. It's like really hard to listen to. Life goes on. Are you kidding me? Bust my table.

They have a right to peacefully protest and that they should be encouraged because they are supported. We support you. Well, who is the we? Well, obviously, it's Loretta Lynch, the Justice Department, and the Oval Office.

Those are the things that I think we should be looking at. The fact that we have to be concerned about one city in the United States of America being overrun by this type of barbarism. What city's been overrun? I don't know. Has the city been overrun? I'm trying to think of what city. Is he talking about Baton Rouge? Did they sack a city?

All right. What city's been overrun by barbarism? Did Vikings pull up? You just wake up in the morning, it's like, oh, they're pillaging again. Who's they? I don't know. The people that live here. Why would they do that?

Doesn't really work. Is one city too many? Yeah, if it fucking happened, I would agree with you. Like, if there was a city that was overrun by barbarism, I would be like, well, that fucking sucks.

Look at that, barbarism. We need to make sure that that doesn't happen again. Send in the National Guard. That's way more barbarism than we were thinking about earlier. Remember, Massey, is BLM a peaceful organization,

or is it a violent revolutionary group? Well, it's a violent revolutionary group. A softball question? Punk out of the park. Thank you, Jim. Thanks for asking. Thank you, Rick. I appreciate that question.

Really well done. It's hard-hitting journalism that you're posing here. I think, and I've said this, I think that Black Lives Matter are worse than the KKK. There's a website, blacklivesmatter.com. And now this is what they list as their list of demands. Is that on the dark net? Yes.

I think so. You didn't even smile. It's not funny. That's why. Can't you just fake it like women? No, I can't. All right, so this is from blacklivesmatter.com. I'm just going to read some of these.

This is we affirm that all black lives matter, and this is their guiding principles. We are committed to acknowledging and respecting and celebrating differences and commonalities. That sounds like a terrorist organization. We are committed to collectively, lovingly, and courageously working vigorously for freedom and justice for black people and, by extension, for all people. As we forge our path, we intentionally build and nurture a beloved community that is bonded together through beautiful struggle that is restorative, not depleting.

God, these fucking racists. We are unapologetically black in our positioning. Fucking racist. In affirming that Black Lives Matter, we need not qualify our position to love and desire freedom and injustice for ourselves is a necessary prerequisite for wanting the same for others. Fucking Jesus Christ. This is aggressive, man. Just put your fucking white hats on.

We see ourselves as part of a global black family, and we are aware of different ways we are impacted or privileged as black folk who exist in different parts of the world oh god i can't i'm gonna keep reading this but i'm disgusted disgusted we are committed to embracing and making space for trans brothers and sisters to participate and lead. Classes. Classes? We are committed. I don't even know how that's even relevant. It's not. It's not relevant at all. I'm just picking things out at this point.

We are committed to being self-reflexive and doing work required to dismantle cisgender privilege and uplift black trans folk, especially black trans women, who continue to be disproportionately impacted by trans antagonistic violence jesus can you just make like one demand you people are fucking you people just fucking i can't believe the privilege that you're with all these demands i cannot believe it the privilege we are guided by the fact all black lives regardless of actual perceived sexual identity gender expression economic status ability disability beliefs or disbeliefs, immigration status or location, communists. We are committed to disrupting the Western prescribed nuclear family structure requirement by supporting each other as extended families and villages that collectively care for one another and especially our children to a degree that mothers, parents, and children are comfortable.

We are committed to practicing empathy. We engage comrades. See comrades? Oh, there you go. It's Marxist. Fucking get out your sickle. We engage comrades with the intent to learn and connect with their contexts. We are committed to making our spaces family-friendly

and family-fucking-friendly. Are you fucking kidding me? There's three more. We are committed to embodying and practicing justice, liberation, and peace. I'll tell you what they're not committed to, concision. We are committed to fostering a queer-affirming network. When we gather, we do so with the intention of freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking oh look at me i could say big words rather than

believe in all the world are heterosexual unless or they disclose otherwise and finally we are committed to fostering an intergenerational and communal, communal, huh, guys? Oh, my God, you fucking hippies. Communal network free from ageism. We believe that people, regardless of age, shows up with capacity to lead and learn. Monsters. That is monstrous. This is the fucking worst thing that's ever happened

in the United States. You know what? If that were to come true, things would be so much better. Just fucking a lot actually better. So objectively better. I wonder if the KKK has anything on there that says we're committed to. Let's look and see out of curiosity. What is your number one goal?

We want to stop white genocide it seems absurd to some people they look around they don't see the masses of white bodies floating down the river as one might see the victims of rwandan genocide of recent years they don't turn on the evening news and see the bodies of massacred white people laid out in the field on or on the street they think white genocide is a joke or some crazy idea we have come up with maybe because you just came up with it it's a crazy idea uh then they define genocide and why even bother uh i love it dude and then they're talking about a lot about genocide and how genocide is not good a thing that's happening

and not good not preferred like we're gonna we're are they hold on a minute just so i understand are they pro or con genocide so why do you think you're also superior to everyone else is that on their faq is on their question there question. Answer. We don't care who is superior and who isn't. They're not saying they aren't. I know, right? They don't come out and say. Clearly, some people are. Exactly.

We don't care who they are. We're not fucking telling. God made us all. We simply believe that the United States of America was founded as a white Christian nation. Which is why we imported black people into it. We base this belief on the many writings of our founding fathers. What were they saying? They said like whitey white

white. They did. They said that right in there. I think we think it would be terrible if white Christians cease to exist and we are working. How would that even happen? Where's the last one? I know how it would happen. White genocide. And then it says,

cease to exist and we are working to preserve and promote their interests. We feel the concepts of Christianity benefit all people

regardless of color except for the black people that we want to oppress. And I've said this, I think that Black Lives Matter are worse than the KKK. Well, and you're a fucking idiot.

The thing is, looking at their two about pages, I have a hard time believing that. Yeah, right. At least from the things that they promote, right? And I want to talk a little bit about this for a second because many people seem to think that because someone shot somebody and said they did it because they didn't like that black police, black people were dying. Right. That's what they said that the guy said. Right. The police officer said this guy said that he did it because of this.

And he did it during a protest, specifically protest for that. They're saying that that violence is indicative of that entire community. Right. Like they're blaming that bit of violence on the entire community of Black Lives Matter. If Black Lives Matter had on their page, we are committed to shooting white police officers. Then that would be egregious.

Then that would be absolutely egregious. And I would look at that and say, fucking of course, yeah, that's a fucking, that's an awful organization. That's like ISIS then, if they said that they're like ISIS, you're like, okay, you're an idiot group who cares. But I just read all their fucking, we committed to, and not a single, I want to fucking kill police officers. I want to, they're all what they're committed to and what happens by fringe members who aren't even

following their doctrine. Right? Like, so, so when we talk about like Muslims and we talk about like fucking, like we talk about like, so when we talk about, like, Muslims, and we talk about, like, fucking, like, we talk about, like, crazy Christians, and we talk about all these people, and we say, you know, the reason why we're blaming all this on all Muslims is because their doctrine says, yes, you should fucking kill people, right?

The reason, you know, when Christians kill, when fucking, you know, Christians kill a bunch of people or whatever, and they fucking, you know, shoot up a fucking abortion clinic, you look and you say, okay, well, there's fucking, there's a backing for that right there's something in

there all these people believe something and then you can throw around the no true scotsman fucking thing you can do that then but when you look and you read their fucking demands and they're nothing like violent at all they're fucking completely anti-violent right and you say okay well i read all the demands but i still want to fucking lump these violent people in there because it makes me makes me less nervous about your group yeah it's like the the violent people clearly you know they don't have to come out and uh disinherit themselves from these assholes because all you have to do is like go to the website read what you're about fucking that dude did a thing that's totally fucking separate than the thing you're about yeah yeah i there's no confusion it's not a fucking 2 000 year old book-old book that's fucking 1,000 pages long.

Yeah. It's a web page. It took like a minute. And we're not all dipping from this same thing, right? It's like if you're going to say they're dipping all from the same fucking like thuggish attitude where they fucking want to hurt a bunch of people, check it. Go look at it. Fucking look at the website. Now, are they doing stuff that that you know that

they could be arrested for absolutely man when they fucking block off interstates and shit if they get arrested for that okay arrested yeah right it's against the fucking law the problem is is that i think people are just really nervous about protests in general and one of the things that you know like you look back at the old old timey protests you know there's sit-ins at fucking lunch counters there's fucking sit-ins at fucking lunch counters there's fucking sit-ins all over the place there had to be the same language for these these same things there was man i'm i'm fucking certain of it i believe them to be um uh they're treated by this administration with the same kind of care cod coddling, and warmness...

As any other citizen. Huh. Raw. They're being treated like white people. What? That the Obama administration shows toward the Islamic terrorists. No, you're an idiot. You're an idiot.

Yeah. Does he drone strike Black Lives Matter? No, you're an idiot. Does he drone strike Black Lives Matter? No, let's not be ridiculous. We only drone strike civilians. Let's not be stupid. And people say, well, how can you say they're worse than the KKK?

Well, they're worse than the KKK because the KKK did not have a forum in all of the mainstream newspapers and media outlets to spew their hatred. For like dozens of years, they totally did. Yeah. This is a guy who's selectively remembering history. What are you, like you are a fucking history retard.

Like, hey, David Barton's calling. He wants his fucking revisionist history back. He wants all the revisions you've made to that book. Are you kidding me? But Black Lives Matter is given that forum. Black Lives Matter and their adherents are given a platform and legitimized to spew forth hatred under the guise that... That black lives actually matter.

Blacks have it so bad in America. What? Did he just say that out loud? He did. That's fucking amazing. There's a bunch of people, though, that think that. There's so many people that are like, oh, man, here I am. I'm like super white, bro, but I don't think black people have it bad at all.

Yeah, call me from the west side. Yeah, no kidding. Then move over there. It's cheap to live there. Yeah, right? Like when we were at our, again, like I just want to point back. When we were at the concealed carry, the guy's like, who wants to go to Englewood now? Like everybody's like, I don't want to go to Englewood.

Like we're talking about people that now have guns on their hips. Like nobody's like, oh, go to Englewood. Yeah, exactly. Fucking ain't nobody going to Englewood on purpose. Nobody. It's nobody. It's so funny that you look at that and you think, and they, and they say that shit though.

It's like they, they just forget selectively forget. And then they think like, Oh, well they just have it equal to us. They're good. They're totally fine. Yeah.

It's exactly the same thing. You have fucking blinders on man. You're not paying attention. The idea that the black experience and the white experience in America are even remotely analogous to one another is assholery. That's fucking, it really is. It's assholery. I won't even deal with that shit.

Right. So that makes them worse. And with respect to my comparison to them and the Islamic terrorists, when's the last time CARE came out and just denounced Islamic terrorism. They've done it like a fucking dozen times and nobody's listening. Fucking, I would stop doing it too at some point. At some point, you're just like, nobody cares. You guys, nobody cares. Nobody cares what I say, right?

It's like, I wish you wouldn't do that. I did it anyway. Well, fucking, why am I going to keep saying it? Like, it's not affecting anything. They give left-handed opposite, left-handed. Come on, come on, come on, spit it out, son. What's he going to say, left-handed hand jobs? Is that what he's going to say? Call that the stranger.

Condemnation, but at the same time, care itself has been associated with, has been associated as a terrorist group, a terror sponsoring group. And it's the same with Black Lives Matter. When you have groups that are advocating for destruction, acrimony and and violence against other americans whether they be foreign or domestic those are terrorist groups and that is what black lives matter is i just read all of their fucking about us and not a single bit of violence on there not a bit of violence okay the white house and the justice department has an obligation to do everything in the power of the government to take this

group down. Take a group of people down that want to peaceably assemble? Yeah. They have a literal right to that. They have an actual constitutional right to assemble. I think you're missing the fact that they're black. I guess I didn't consider that. I think that's something you're overlooking.

Do they have a three-fifths right to that? Yeah, when they create their character, they get to pick three of five rights. And a lot of them didn't pick the right to assemble. That was one of them that they skipped. That's amazing. They got to rebuild. And not only are they not doing that, but they are, as I said, Loretta Lynch, the attorney general, is telling them we support you in your right to protest. Yeah, because it's – again, I don't even know how to say this in a different way.

They have a right to protest. Like it's – you can't not give them that and still be in America. Seriously. It's so funny that this is what he's coming at. There they are. They're just protesting. They won't just shut up and go away. They just won't go back

to the back of the bus. When have these people gathered peaceably? They gather peaceably of the bus. Well, when have these people gathered gathered peaceably? They gather peaceably all the time. All over the fucking country all the time, dude. Just fucking constantly

gathering peaceably. And we know that they're they're calling for people to go to Cleveland for the Republican convention and carry guns. Well, there's two different amendments here. Which could be their right. If they

are rightfully allowed to carry a gun in Cleveland, then it's their right to do it. Don't you guys like that right? Isn't that the thing you guys fucking masturbate to every night? Aren't you guys like fucking Second Amendment? Oh, I love it. I love the Second Amendment. I love it when it spreads. It's fucking Second Amendment.

Give me a fucking break. These guys are fucking ejaculating over that fucking thing. It's only okay if you can have the guns? Yes, that's exactly. They only want white people to have the guns. Good Lord. These are the guys who are like, they've got a fucking AR-15 fucking massaging their prostate at all times.

Fucking rubbing its fucking muzzle up against their fucking organs. organs thing is though the the the thing about my prostate is is that it is a gas eject it is enlarged it's a gas eject that's for sure i'll tell you what it doesn't have a silencer you know it's it's funny we talk again we talked when this previous episode we talked about that concealed carry class and one thing we skipped over is, and we talked briefly about it, but the amount of money that it takes to get a concealed carry permit in Illinois is, it's extravagant. It's a lot of money. Not only do you have to have a handgun, which is an expensive item, right? When I bought a shotgun, I could have bought a shotgun for a couple hundred dollars. You can buy a shitty fucking handgun for that much.

But most of the concealed carry handguns they start around 500 bucks i mean it's not they're not gonna get you're not gonna get any cheaper than that if you want to carry something around and you've got to conceal it in illinois so you have a concealed carry gun that probably runs you between let's say 300 and 800 dollars on the slow you know i mean you can get a fucking you get that fucking joshua fuhrer and ramstein's fucking one that's like he's got that fucking like like fucking cow killer whatever the fuck he's got you can get that one that's probably a fucking couple a couple grand i'm sure um i don't know don't send me in i don't care i don't care how much it is i don't care it looks like a fucking

shitty gun i wouldn't want to own it anyway uh it's all fucking plastic i don't fucking want to own a plastic gun anyway this – Tom's eyes are down. Anyway. I got a plastic gun. I know. You totally do. The amount of money you spend on that, then the amount of money you have to spend just to take the classes because the classes are required by law. So it's not like you can just fucking get a book and take a test and then do a thing.

That doesn't exist. So I can't just go to – I have to pay a person for this. You can't test out. I can't just test out of it. So I have to take a certain amount of classes then i have to pay for the licensing itself and i have to pay for the fingerprinting process then i have to pay for like the background check there's all this shit you have to pay that guy just kept sending us to the atm he really did he really did he showed up with a few hundred dollars he's like yeah go back to the atm and get a few hundred

more and then later it's like and you'll need several hundred you'll need a lot more so it's it's you're in it at least i think you know bottom dollar if you inherit a gun you're probably in it for about 700 bucks oh i think on the low bottom dollar if you got a gun for free sure you know you could get in there you like all the black person probably or if you bought like from a straw purchase or something, you know, like, yeah, anyway, terrible, the amount of money that it costs is prohibitive for anybody who doesn't, who's not like a middle class citizen. Like, I can't imagine like you'd have to save up. I'm just looking back at just my, my life when I was first married. Right. I didn't have a pot to piss in when I was first married. You know, I look back at like how many, how check to check we were, how, you know, we lived, you know, you know, every month was a struggle. It would take

me a year easily a year to save up that kind of money to actively do the thing that, that I just did recently. It would have taken me a year to get that kind of money up. And I wasn't like a poor guy either. I was living in a relatively nice neighborhood. I was, you know, I mean, i wasn't like a poor guy either i was living in a relatively nice neighborhood i was you know i mean sure i wasn't poor and i look at that and i think how many people are you self-selecting out of this process just from the amount of currency you have to go right yeah these people don't want poor people to have guns they don't want the poor to have guns they want to fucking arm everybody else that's what this is for this This isn't, at least in our state. I don't know how cost prohibitive it is in other states, but man, it's fucking expensive here.

They are fucking selecting out a lot of people in the state and especially a lot of people in Chicago that could not afford. Which is why our class was almost all white people. Sure. So when I hear this shit, like, he's talking about, oh, they're going to go there, they're going to go to the RNC and they're going to carry guns and stuff. It's like, well, fucking the poor people aren't. Yeah, right. I mean, unless it's

an open carry state. Yeah, and maybe Ohio is open carry, but the thing is, like you said, these guys are constantly fucking jerking off onto the flag about the Second Amendment. You're like, I fucking love it so much. All over the place. Exactly. They fucking love it so much all over the place exactly they fucking love that shit unless it's people they don't like yeah unless it's people that everybody should have a gun right everybody should have a gun and what they really mean is i should have a gun and people that are poor shouldn't have guns so that's it

that's an alchemy in and of itself it's an alchemy it's an alchemy in and of itself that's an alchemy in and of itself. It's an alchemy? It's an alchemy in and of itself. That's an alchemy. That doesn't make any sense. Well, that's an alchemy in and of, like, oh, that's turning lead into gold. In and of itself. For violence and bloodshed. It's an alchemy for violence. You mean catalyst.

You mean catalyst. You mean catalyst. You stupid, illiterate motherfucker. You mean catalyst You mean catalyst You mean catalyst You stupid illiterate motherfucker You mean catalyst Catalyst In simple terms There is a predator race Which take a reptilian form

They're feeding off humanity They turn humanity into a slave race They demand human sacrifice That's where satanism comes in They feed off human energy, particularly feed off the energy of children. Say what? What? What? What? Why what? Put a load of shit.

I don't know what all that means. I just thought I might use it someday. So, Tom, we read this week the second half of chapter seven. Yes, we did. So this is 7B. 7B, I like that. I have a quiz. You have a quiz. I have a quiz. And then we also have

specifically a reading. And I also have the summary too. Okay. So why don't I start with my quiz? It's short. It's only three questions. Druids are... Oh, this is going to be great. A, not more than 25 inches tall b able to cast stone skin once a day

c are a mixture of reptile bloodline fourth dimension overlord and satanic catholics that are somehow pagans or d magnetic oh that's hard because it could be c and d but i'll go with just c it's d oh they're magnetic they're just magnetic druids the illuminatrix is this is great oh my god the illuminatrix a the brand of flashlight trinity uses in the first movie b an ancient manuscript technique where they hadn't the handwritten text is supplemented with a series of ones and zeros. D, Diana the Lightbringer. I'm sorry. C, Diana the Lightbringer.

Or D, someone with a sexual fetish for spotlights. Oh, I like it. I wish it was not, but it is C. It is C. And reptile people fled France for Scotland because... A, Freedom! B. Lizard legs look amazing in a plaid dress. C. Many reptiles have inflatable throat, which helps with playing the bagpipes.

D. If it's not Scottish, it's crap! Or E. All the other super secret lizards already had gentrified Scotland. It's E. That's the gentrification issue. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. All right. So, Tom.

All right. Here we go. You ready? This one's going to be a little tough. David Icke believes there were originally 13 Zodiac signs. He believes this because of what reasons? A, he's a fucking idiot. Can we stop there?

B, an old book has 13 poems in it. C, Diana crashed her car into the 13th pillar. Or D, all of the above. D, all of the above. You got that one. Now, hold on a second now. So I saw that he had, that there was poems about the sign of the Zodiac, and I found 12 IQs about the signs of the Zodiac.

Well, we must hear them. This is the dawning, the age of Aquarius. Love will steer the stars. I like that one. Pisces are fish, right? A pair of 69ing trout. Don't fish will lay eggs? Aries sign is lame.

You get to be a ram man. Break things with your face. And my axe. Gore a Spanish guy. Gore a Spanish guy? Oh, the other Taurus. Cool, I'll borrow dad's car. Every other sign gets to be some animal you just get to use.

I like this. Either I am a crab or a terminal disease. Both are persistent. Finally, a beast worth actually being Cecil the Lion. Nice. Let's immortalize my fucking virginity. Thanks, Purity Ball. This is great.

I like that our ancestors gave up on creatures to include a scale. Evolution sucks. There's a lobster spider bee that's fucking weird bro lower half of the horse all right it's a run fast and impress the girls a A half goat, half fish. For those of you that enjoy rubbery salmon. So those are the 13 poems that I uncovered. I liked it. It's very well done. It's very well done. I got a question for you, buddy. 13 IQs is a lot.

I'm just saying that's a lot in a week. That's a lot of work. I'm telling you what, I'm going to need an extra week for a refractory period on these. I'm not going to come. You need a lot lower than a week. When you telling you what. I'm going to need an extra week for a refractory period on these. I'm not going to come. You need a lot lower than a week. When you're my age. I know, right? Sunny.

You need a lot more than a week with fucking chemical assistance. I'm taking that HGH, baby. You got fucking Viagra and a Pez dispenser. It's hiding a little penis from it. That's not from the HGH. That's genetics. That's just genetics. That's just bad luck of the draw.

I got the HGH. That's genetics. That's just genetics. That's just bad luck of the draw. I got the same luck. See, so what is the bond that connects earth, fire, water, and air? Oh, God. A, a funky beat. B, the last airbender. All right, that's fair. C, dryness, moisture, heat, or cold, of which each element has two properties, but one of them has it like a super duper amount of that one.

So if you combine them and then they both have that one then you could turn lead into gold with the philosopher's stone, which is actually a powder. Okay. Yeah, it's telekinetic gold or whatever it was. D. Synonyms for the same fucking word as the word you are connecting to the other word.

It's C. See, so when did the Priory of Scion leak copies of the two Bijou parchments? A, in 1967, or at least in the 1960s. B, just after a full house marathon. Oh, that's a good, I like that. C, during his refractory period. It's A. He just says that.

I know. In 1967. Or at least in the 1960s. It's so specific and then general. It's so odd. See, Winston Churchill was A, a Satanist, B, a potato chip, C, a druid, or D, A-N-C. A-N-C. He was a Satanist druid. He chip C. A druid Or D. A. N. C. A. N. C. He was a Satanist druid.

He was a Satanist druid. Pagan. Yeah. Somehow. I don't know how that works. And finally Finally Why should all the names

and places and dates that Ike vomit lists at you not be misconstrued as a coincidence? A. Because if everything is connected then the connections between everything

must be connected. Connections. B, conjunction junction. What's your function? C, the vibrational frequencies of symbols transmute the energy fields around certain symbols and places, causing the Babylonian Brotherhood to use their sacred geometry to harness the elements

into powerful symbolic forms such as Voltron. Or D. Voltron. I love that all that works its way to Voltron. That's why I love this show. This is it. This is the fucking pinnacle. This is our best stuff.

D. Every split second has a different vibration as the Earth's magnetic field is suddenly changed by the sun and the movement of the planets, and every number and combination of numbers carries their own vibrational signature. It's some of them. It's definitely D. I don't know. There could be a couple of the others, too. God, it's D.

All right. That's it. You did very well on your quiz. Here's my beginning. It's the summary. The summary. People, especially Visigoths, built chateaus on ancient Templar academy sites because magnetism of planets and outer space change our vibratory signature on very precise dates. Tons of people did reptile stuff. These people include, but are not limited

to, Leonardo da Vinci, Sandro Botticelli, Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo, Claude Debussy, Henry Kissinger, Alistair Crowley, Richard Wagner, and Hitler. The outer space fourth dimensional lizard DNA is only transferred through women

and eventually all French lizards went to live in Scotland because reptiles like colder, wetter climbs. So we're looking at chapter eight. Next time we're going to try to read the whole thing. We'll see how far we get. Please send me a text message in the middle of the week called let's only read half of it.

Brutal. That's my favorite text message. It's fucking brutal, bro. That's all I'm saying. My God. And we are starting to firm up dates, so we are hopefully going to have Stuart from Exposing Pseudo-Astronomy on

for one of the chapters coming up soon. Indeed, indeed. And if we do have a guest in the future, one of the people that we, you know, one of the usual suspects, maybe we'll see if they want to join us too. So we want to start by saying thank you so much for the ground soil support. I know a lot of you guys are here because we just posted the Alex Jones show.

That is a patron-only show that's available through Patreon. You can find the Alex Jones show and all of other patron stuff that we've done on the patron website. And then you can get to that. If you go to dissonancepod.com, you can at the very top of the page, it says become a patron. You can become a patron of the show and you'll have access to all the stuff that we've put together for as little as a dollar show. And we're very happy that so many people have gone out of their way to join on as patrons, especially very recently. I have a ton of these to read off. And I just want to thank all of you guys for being patrons and for helping. Currently, we stand, I think we're about maybe $150 away at this point from getting a personal assistant.

And that would really help the show out a lot. It would change a lot. It would certainly help the interaction we have with a lot of the people, get answers to people because people have answers. They want answers to questions about merchandise, about where stuff is, things like that. You'd be able to get answers to questions a lot. We'd be able to post a lot of stuff. We'd be able to provide a lot more.. We'd be able to provide a lot more.

There'd be a lot more guests on the show. Everything would just, I think the show would improve greatly if that were to happen. Well, it can't decline. We would have basically two people working on the show. We'd double the amount of people working on the show. It would be amazing. It would be something else. That's outstanding.

Can I sleep with our assistant? We're getting a guy, so sure. Okay. Okay. So we want to thank all of our new patrons. Reptile Lives Matter. That's great. Laura, Suzanne, Victor, Tiglath, I guess. I have no idea.

Tiglath? Sure. Sure. sure sure peter chris susan joseph patrick jared ben tony stark donnie cameron pascal's rager i like that will sup fool Frickin Skater Mark From the Unicorns on Noah's Ark Keith Guy Schizo Mac Stefan

John Tomble Adrian Jeff Richard Biscuits of Glory Kurt Indiana Residence

Shoe Phil Mark Harry Lizard Lord Paul Scott residents shoe phil mark harry lizard lord paul scott the 420 club john tim george nathan chris helga jason sith lord sexy pants jim bruce derrick brad jen brian eric larry mark brent Jim, Bruce, Derek, Brad, Jen, Brian, Eric, Larry, Mark, Brent, Amy, David, Kevin, Dustin, Devin, Adam, Corey, Sitpex, Eric, Brett, Birdo Pops, Shane, Janet, Jason, and Lane. Thank you all so very much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. A very short time.

We should hopefully have enough to hire an assistant. And we're also talking at this point now, because of the groundswell of support that we've gotten, we're actually talking about starting to do more patron-only stuff. We're thinking about maybe doing one every other month or something like that. So we're considering it. If you have any feedback on that in your patron, you want to talk about it, post to the patron page

or send us a message on Patreon, and we can get your feedback on that. We also got a PayPal donation from Matthew. Matthew, thanks so much for your PayPal donation. Remember, you can go to dissonancepod.com, click on Donate, and donate to the show that way as well so we got a a clip from uh from elvis and i want to play this clip from elvis um it's long uh but he says you can't compress the message from alex jones so elvis thank you uh this is uh this is mix mash. I love this. This is great.

Drums, drums, drums of the deep. Drums, drums, drums of the deep. Drums, drums, drums of the deep. Drums, drums, drums of the deep. Drums, drums, drums of the deep. Drums, drums, drums of the deep. You've been met to it with pleasure. The sheep will be ruled by wolves. If you beg on your knees to be slaves,

all these fat, weak cowards sit up there on television. I love this. That's just fucking straight perfection. Amazing. I would buy that album. Thank you so much. We got a bunch of messages. We're still making people cringe with the money thing. And I want to read this email in its entirety because I think this guy gets it.

This is from John in California. Guys, you really fucked up by engaging the people who wrote you about banks creating money. You can expect an army of armchair economists that will never, ever leave you alone because you are arguing two separate points. And it may be impossible to get them to realize that. They won't back down. This man knows his shit. That's all I'm saying. You are probably hearing that banks create money via the money multiplier effect because banks don't hold every

deposit in their vaults. The bank holds 10% of deposit reserves by U.S. law, and the rest excess reserve is loaned out to other people who subsequently spend that money, which we assume ends up in another bank, not in a stock in a sock drawer somewhere. And the loop repeats itself again. The initial $100 deposit has loaned itself out again, and again, perfectly, will eventually create $900 in money in the system. This is not what Ike is saying. Ike is saying that money doesn't exist in the first place.

It's just electrons on a screen. He wants some form of specie, which is a dumb idea, and I had to look this, I think that's how you pronounce it, specie, I guess, of specie, which is a dumb idea. And I had to look this. I think that's how you pronounce it. Specie, I guess, or specie. I'm not sure how to pronounce it. But it's money in the form of coins rather than notes.

I had never heard that phrase before. I had to look it up, which is a dumb idea. It's super dumb. And you guys are right to make fun of it. I'm going to go now and scream in my local car wash for not accepting Thai baht as a valid form of payment. That's great. I love it. And he gave us a thing on how banks create money. And a bunch of people have sent this in. And I think you're absolutely right. I think there's a disconnect. We're saying Ike isn't saying that.

What Ike is saying is money doesn't mean anything. Not only does money not mean anything, but debt doesn't mean anything. And what they're saying is, no, they create money this way. And they do create money the way you said last time. This is true. They do create money the way in which you say through loaning of the federal rules. But they also – this is also true too, that they don't have to have the same amount of money in. And that's how they create money through loans. And then there's all this other stuff that – there's other stuff that goes into it, stuff that we did not get into. But they are right.

There is other ways to create money, but that's not what Ike is saying. Ike is not saying that that's a good thing. No, Ike is saying that they just make it up on a whole cloth. They just make it up. And it doesn't mean anything. Right. That's what he's saying, is that the debt doesn't mean anything. That it's just numbers on a screen.

I read it many times. He clearly doesn't understand how money works. He got a message. This is from Wags. And Wags is reading a book on Audible called The Consultant by Bentley Little. And this is a clip from the book, and he wanted us to listen to it. She took the whole thing. In her mouth, she took the whole damn thing.

In her mouth, she took the whole thing. What could they be talking about? In her mouth, she took the whole cock in her mouth. Oh, she was eating chicken. Yeah, chicken. Small nugget. Delicious. It's always a small nugget, my friend.

We got a message. This is from Zach from Omaha, Nebraska. And Zach says, hey, guys, I was listening to your show. Wait, they have the fucking internet in Nebraska now? No, no. He's got a satellite phone. You were on your show and you were talking about Pokemon Go, and I wanted

to let you know there is a Facebook group that came out of a conversation I was having with a good friend called the Federation of Atheist Poke Trainers, aka FAP. So if any of your listeners want to start FAPing with us,

we'd love to have them. So if anybody of your listeners want to start fapping with us, we'd love to have them. So if anybody fucking has the unfortunate fucking luck to live in Omaha, Nebraska or near it and want to Poketrain with Zach because he's probably the only sane person there, best of luck. The idea of being in Nebraska makes my fucking skin. The only thing that would be worthwhile in Nebraska is Pokemon go. Like where would the fucking polka stops be like, oh, let's go to the cornfield. It's all cornfields. It's all. There's only one fucking fucking Pokemon.

It's the corn gobble. Every single one is every single Pokemon is called Malachi. All right. Well, that's going to wrap it up for this episode. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Pseudo-Quasi-Alternative-Acupunctuating-Pressurized-Stereogram-Pyramidal-Free-Energy-Healing-Water-Downward-Spiral-Brain-Dead-Pan-Sales-Pitch-Late-Night-Info-Docutainment. crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only. Our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives, employers, friends, families, or of the local dairy council. Outro Music