Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 309: Ark Encounter

Episode Date: August 8, 2016

    Special thanks to AJ Chalom

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 309 of Cognitive Dissonance. And we are joined at this episode by AJ Shalom.

Later. Later. Later. Later. Not now. Not to cover stories. From Foundation Beyond Belief. She's going to talk.

We actually had quite a long conversation with her, about an hour and a half. We won't all make this show. Wonderful guest. A lot of really interesting and really wonderful work that she's doing and our organization is doing. Foundation of Human Belief is just such a great organization. It is. It's awesome. We're happy to talk to them about the stuff that they're doing just so that the humanist and secular giving community can know the stuff that they're doing.

Right, and really have resources. Absolutely. So we'll put that a little later in the show. We have to talk about Donald Trump, dude. We have to talk about this motherfucking train wreck our next president you shut your whore mouth sir whore mouth although i did actually actually generally i am not a fan of whores shutting their mouths i'm just saying but in this particular instance i'm going to request clamp it shut. What I want to talk about though – I mean I think I want to talk about a lot of things.

But I will say a very awesome thing was a bump. Hillary got a bump this week. I don't know if you saw, but like a pretty good bump. She got a bump because he is fucking on fire. Yeah, he's a mess. He's a fucking mess man i read an article today that his own party is attempting to stage an intervention and there was even discussion in the article that granted was an msn article but is it there was a discussion in the article about

whether or not his party would oust him post nomination yeah i saw that this morning on a different it was not. It was not. Astonishing. It was not MSN. It was another thing was political or something. They had an article where they were talking about he is not endorsing their party line people. At all. At all.

He's refusing to endorse Paul Ryan. And Kane. McCain. McCain. Kane. McCain. McCain. McCain.

Not Kane. Kane is Tim Kane. Tim Kane. The guy nobody knows that is going to be the vice president when hillary inevitably wins the goddamn general election this is giant giles mcgee right guy who stores legislation in his cheeks for winter john mccain he is uh he was not endorsed by trump but then um they're they're just worried that he's not he's just not playing nice he's not being a nice he's not and we talked about this earlier like the fundraising stuff and all this there's all this he doesn't give a fuck about the party at all he does not it'd be like if somebody and you have to give a fuck about the party when you are the figurehead of the party right right like i know i don't get me wrong i have no great love for the two-party system i

have no great love for republicans as a rule right like i think i've made no secret of that yeah but i mean you are the fucking figurehead of your party and you're just like i don't give a fuck i don't care i'll give a fuck couldn't find a fuck in a forest of fucking who cares huh i'm gonna fund this fucker if i need to you know what i'll do i'm gonna fucking kick this baby in the face i'll actually kick the baby out of it through a baby what i love is is is that i don't know if he's kidding at all throughout the whole thing right i don't know when he's kidding and when he's not he starts out by saying i love babies just let that shake that fucking thing just shake it until it fucking cries like a siren just shake that fucking thing.

Hey, I love mothers too, and I'll fucking put another baby in you. I'll put another one in you. You know how you become a mother? I'll show you how you become a mother. Bend right over, honey. Then he turns around. Two seconds later, he's like, actually, it's edited, so you don't know how long it is later because all I'm seeing is the edited footage, and the edited footage is a cut, and it's him.

You know, I was just kidding around about the baby. Can you stuff it back in your vagina? Is there any way you could stick it back up into your pussy? Can you do that? Huh? You know, that's – I mean he's a fucking awful, awful human being. He's seriously a monstrous humanoid. Like I don't even –

Like he's easy humanoid. This week alone – He's a nasty little hobgoblin. He really is. My goodness. This week alone, he had a conversation like – so I mean he's potentially going to be president. So there's briefings and – Sure, yeah.

And he basically was like, the weapons, the nuclear ones, when can I use them? How soon can I use them? When can I press the button? My finger. You see my finger? It itches for the button. It's very small. I need a small button for my small finger.

He was asking like. Yeah. Was he like, is there any interns I can use as a humidor? Where are those interns at? Right. As a humidor. It's 2016. The idea that this guy is like, when can i use a nuclear weapon you can't at all like you

should never want to use that um never just how about how about don't just fucking stop just fucking stop but you know this is a guy who's so used to negotiating from from a position of ultimate authority that i think that he sees nuclear weapons as a tool of ultimate authority. And he's clearly unafraid to leverage those tools in his business life. And so I worry that he would be – that he's a guy who's like, I won't back down. I don't back down from anything. I'll fucking throw nuclear bombs and everything that i you know i mean like i i really think that his pride his actual personal ego could cause him to detonate a goddamn nuclear weapon in a post-world war ii world

can you imagine you know what would be literal and and figurative fallout you know what is amazing to me is that after he starts and sparks the global war that would be nuclear weapons – Should I kill my children now? No. What you want to do is you don't want – you want to kill them as close as you can to the actual event so then when you gut them and clean them, you can then save that meat for the nuclear winter. You don't want to spoil their fear. You can taste the fear in the meat. Gives it a nice umami flavor.

No, but when he sparks that global war and creates Armageddon, there's going to be people who are going to be like, fuck yeah. There's going to be people – because he has people behind him that are like, fuck yeah, whatever he does. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah, I shivered. I just shivered thinking about that. There will be people who come out and say, yeah, probably the best for it. Yeah, that's probably the best thing that could have happened. There's going to be people who do.

I mean, like in the Facebook flurry that is the last 30 minutes of our life. Dude, you know somebody is going to Instagram the bomb. Like the last thing that happens, like the last thing that happens, the last fucking image of humanity is a fucking Snapchat of a fucking mushroom cloud. They put like a mustache on it as it's coming down. It just says like Chicago and then the temperature is like

48,000 degrees Celsius. It's funny because it's really going to happen. It's like a selfie. It's like a month. It's like a selfie it's like a month it's like hey guys that's amazing yeah no it's it's actually i'm a little afraid we are so so i want to play the purple heart video so this is this has been going around this is donald trump at a rally could this be his Mitt Romney moment? Do you think?

I don't know. I don't know. I want you to walk me through the real, real faux pas in this, though. OK, so I want you to I want you to help me get through there. OK, you know, something very nice just happened to me. Oh, God, the sound of his voice. Hold on. Just the sound of his voice is a faux pas. The sound of his voice.

Hey, you know what? Here's the thing. I got a lot of money. Jesus. Okay. All right. Sorry. I'll be good.

A man came up to me and he handed me – These fucking random yokels just screaming things. They're just yelling stuff. God, it's amazing. I will actually start because there is already a faux pas. You realize this, right? I will actually start because there is already a faux pas. You realize this, right?

Is that here he is talking to this crowd of people. And instead of talking about America or us or we, it's me, me, me, me, me. Something awesome just happened to me. You know what I just got? I got the greatest blowjob. Let me tell you what. When I fucking came, I fucking slatted the back of her throat. I mean it is all about him.

It is all about him all the time. And whenever he speaks to any crowd, he always talks about how great he is. Right. He's selling the story of we by selling the story of him. Yeah, yeah. And he handed me his Purple Heart. Now, I said to him, I said to him, is that like the real one or is that a copy? Oh, get the fucking. So somebody came up to me and they gave me this.

They had this heartfelt gesture. They had this heartfelt gesture. And I was like, yeah, is it fake? Is that cubic zirconian? He like hands him the purple heart and he bites it. is that cubic zirconian he like hands of the purple heart and he bites it testing it on his teeth to see right it's like like it's like you get down on your knee you're like honey will you marry me for one carrot like are you kidding me you fucking asshole when i proposed i wish i had a whole. It was like a quarter of a carrot.

Dude, I've been working with a fucking baby carrot my whole life. So has Trump. He's got five of them. And he said, that's my real purple heart. I have such confidence in you. Doesn't make any sense. I have such confidence in you, I'm giving you a medal that says I was wounded in battle. I have so much confidence in you, I'm going to wound you in battle.

Seriously, it'd be like, here's my favorite spatula. It's that random. It means nothing. He walks in, they just hand him a snow shovel. It's just so weird. It's like a small bit of string. Suddenly he's got a whole nest

that he's made out back. Like a sparrow of weird shit they gave him. Here's a sack of baby teeth. A long piece of masking tape. It's like a pamphlet from 1961. People are just giving him like random meaningful treasures. Like here's a lock of hair. Here's just a lock of hair.

Why do I need this? I don't know. Is this a real lock of hair? Here's a chip of a gra Here's just a lock of hair. Why do I need this? I don't know. Is this a real lock of hair? Here's a chip of a gravestone. That's amazing. And I said, man, that's like big stuff. Oh, wow. Wow, you're really eloquent.

That's like big stuff. Big stuff. Is that the big stuff there? That's the biggest stuff, right? Is that the big stuff or the biggest stuff? Stuff goes big. Big and stuff. This guy couldn't spell GRE.

God, he's ineloquent. I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. Nobody wants the Purple Heart. That's like the medal you want the least of all the medals. That's the medal that says something went terribly awry. Right? I always wanted to get wounded in war i always wanted to get divorced i'll tell you what you don't always want it but when you want it you want it so hard real bad this was much easier

you fucking lazy fucking cunt it's like it's like i Medal of Valor, but I'm a great big chicken shit. Yeah. So I don't have any valor, but I got the medal. Pretty much means the same thing, right? It's just symbols mean the same thing. Tag your valor. But I tell you, it was such an honor. And maybe I can bring him up on the stage.

Lieutenant Colonel Louis Dorfman. Maybe I can use him for political purposes. I've already taken his prized possession. Maybe I'll fuck his wife right in front of him. I don't even care about her. I don't even fucking like her. You know what? She's fucking saggy as fuck.

I can barely keep hard when I'm fucking your wife. The only thing that keeps me hard is looking at the disappointment on your face. Your pain is my aphrodisiac. It happens. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! Now, during a United States election season and a United States presidential candidate has taken the stage with a former United States soldier, the audience feels it's apropos to shout USA. Please hold. This audience could not feel anything's apropos to shout usa please hold this audience could not feel anything is apropos are you kidding me so first of all if they saw it it'd be apropos apropos apropos it would be the epitome

jesus christ usa that's where you're at no matter who wins it's still usa no matter like you think you're at the fucking canada fucking usa hockey game thing no matter what you maybe this is like you know what i think this is it's like it's like when you when you park in a giant lot and you lose your car and you have to set the alarm off what they do is they just scream usa to make sure they're still here. That's how it works. These people are fucking dogfighting stupid. You know what I mean?

So I said, Lieutenant Colonel, would you like to say something? He goes, no, sir. I'd like you to just keep saying what you've been saying. Amazing. Amazing. What an honor. What an honor. That was great.

That is not going to be our next president. Okay, so what's wrong with taking a Purple Heart, though? I don't understand. What's the difference? What's the big deal? It's not necessarily that he took the man's medal although i i think that the polite and reasonable thing to do would be to refuse a gift like that and say you know thanks so much for your support it's very meaningful to me that you supported me i don't want to take

something so symbolic and meaningful from you and not just that i will take your support and not just that symbolic and meaningful to everybody who's served right i mean it's not a this is a it's a small club right it's it's not you're not part of that club yeah but then to brag about to hold it up and make it into a political yeah tool like this is somebody who was wounded this is a veteran who was wounded the fucking purple heart is and he's like oh fucking this means a lot to me clearly means enough to him that he thought it was meaningful to present as a gift right and then to just fucking classlessly turn that into a fucking talking point and then drag this fucking guy who doesn't want to speak onto the stage to use him to just be like usa okay like it's like this guy doesn't give a fuck about the purple heart i always wanted one but

this is easier to get it if you just give it to me the fuck is wrong with you everything works though right i didn't want to work for it i just wanted to give it that's like that's the story of trump that's the story of his whole life right like i didn't want to work for it so i just inherited it man there's times that i say things that i know are true and this is one of them so the story is also from right Wing Watch. This is Glenn Beck. You know, this is actually, there were a couple of clips that popped up regarding Glenn Beck, and I kind of agreed with him on one of them. And I might kind of agree with his just righteous, crazy fury here.

So let's listen to Glenn Beck and see where we should go. Here's the message the GOP, shame on you, needs to hear. You don't know your ass from your elbow. He's so mad. You can tell he's mad because he said ass. It's like when somebody you know doesn't swear just lets out a shit. Yes. And you're like, uh-oh.

You could even look at research, but it wouldn't mean anything to you. Here's a group of people that know how to connect to the American people, know how to connect to their heart and do enough homework to look at behavioral science and say, what is the American people? What is it that they are feeling? Who's out there that feels something and is impassioned and wants America to change? But not the people like Ted Cruz, not those people listening to Glenn Beck because they're informed. They know what the truth – they know who we are. You lost me there.

I don't know about that. You lost me there, man. Also, your endorsement of Ted Cruz is the most bizarre thing I've ever experienced in my life. He loves Ted Cruz. He really did. He's the kind of guy who like if Ted Cruz left his shoes somewhere, he would smell them. He would somehow kidnap one of his shoes and take it with him and then sort of put it over his face like a gas mask once in a while and just let in, just suck in a big, deep gasping breath of Ted Cruz's biscuits.

You know what I mean? Oh, God. He's got that aroma, that fucking Ted Cruz aroma. I have never loved fucking anybody as much as glenn beckham i know ted cruz i know he is fucking this guy is just smitten he is a fucking smitten kitten like i could imagine the scene from boogie nights where the the one the the camera guy kisses the the guy remember that like he kisses the marky mark or whatever he kisses him on the mouth and then he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i could imagine a scene like

that between glenn beck and ted cruz ted cruz just stand there it'd be a little while his mouth is open making that sound while he's making that sound glenn beck just walks up and slides his tongue right in there he's licking the fucking roof of his mouth and cruz is just like i don't want to tell him to stop because i don't want to be rude but i'm a little uncomfortable glenn beck is a little weirder than that though he reminds me he's he's almost like the american beauty neighbor like you know like he's just like he's all fucking rain soaked and crazy looking he comes in like in love and in lust and confused

and just fucking shoots ted cruz but he would take it a step further like shoot him and be like i'm gonna go fuck this body exactly he's like fucking the hole he put in it a step further. He'd shoot him and be like, I'm going to go fuck this body. Exactly. He was like fucking the hole he put in it. But what's out in the center of the country that the average person who is not well informed on who we are, what is it that's connecting with them? A giant ball of string. Who are we? I don't even know what he's talking about.

You've lost me. I don't know what he's talking about. Who are we? At this point, it's who's on first first there's nothing but undifferentiated pronouns the tea party values the constitutional values the red white and blue values what does that mean that what is that is that jello with fucking marshmallows in it what is a red white blue value i think he's i think he's mad that there was so much america at the dnc did you see how much america was there like how did just it just

oozed but isn't that normal like don't they normally like fucking bombing out american flags and fireworks the thing is is that the fucking jerk off golden eagles or whatever right so when bush was in office 9-11 happened right so the uh the republicans since the beginning of 9-11 were in charge right so during that surge of patriotism that the united states felt the surge in nationalism that happened during 9-11 and after, that eight or nine years after, what was it, eight years after, they were in charge. They were the ones who were in charge. So during their big hootenanny or whatever, it was as crazy America as you could get.

It was America, America, America's awesome. Also, be afraid. And that's been their line ever since, right? I feel like it's reversed now though. Now it's be afraid, America. And it has reversed. It has shifted a little. They're not as America as they used to be.

Now they're let's get America back to where it was, right? Yeah, scared. And the Democrats have sort of taken this narrative up as America is awesome. That's their narrative now. Their narrative is the narrative that the Bush crowd had, whichever it was, coming into the race. Do you think that that's a direct response to Trump's stupid fucking slogan, make America great again? I think so. Because if you tell me make America great again,

I'm going to be like, you know, the counter to that is America's already pretty fucking great. And if you watch, there was a Samantha Bee clip that I watched where they were talking about, they just strung together. And now clearly it's edited and it's several days worth of stuff. But there's just all this talk about America

and how great America is and how everything's awesome. And there's fucking big fucking tons of balloons falling from the ceiling. this talk about america and how great america is and how you know everything's awesome and you know there's you know fucking big fucking tons of balloons falling from the ceiling and yeah everybody's just like like super hyper patriotic and i feel like the gold star family and a couple of other things that happened this last during the dnc um what happened was they were sort of taking back patriotism from the group that sort of thought that they owned it. Yeah, right. And I feel like there are some people who are really upset by that.

And they've been attacking the DNC for it. Not the DNC. They've been attacking the Democratic Party for it ever since. And people are looking at him saying, well, you use the exact same ploy. But you're not supposed to. But I liked it way better. When it was mine, I liked it. Yeah, I was good at it.

The values of our founders. What did the GOP do last week? They reached out to the Bernie Sanders people. They reached out. They completely jettisoned our founding documents. They completely jettisoned our founding documents. They completely jettisoned the Tea Party people. Did you notice that last night these guys were reaching out not just to the Tea Party, but all not only to this Bernie Sanders, but all week they were reaching out to you? I thought he just said they ignore him.

But all week they were reaching out to you. I thought he just said they ignored him. I thought he just said a second ago that they reached out to Bernie Sanders and jettisoned the Tea Party. And then he just said after that that they reached out to Bernie Sanders and then they reached out to you, which would be the Tea Party people because that's his crowd of listeners that he's fucking yelling at, which is all he does is yell at them. Right. No, that's all he does. He just whips them into shape. Glenn Beck at this point just yells at his audience, which is all he does is yell at them. Right. No, that's all he does. He just whips them into shape. Glenn Beck at this point just yells at his audience. That's all he does.

He's so mad at his audience. He just screams at them and chastises them and belittles them. I can really appreciate that approach. He's super mad that they didn't do that yet. He wasn't able to drum up the kind of support he needed for Cruz. Yeah.

Super mad about that. I think when Trump loses this election, he's going to lose his fucking mind because he has no idea who to vote. Like now what? He doesn't want Trump to win. He doesn't want fucking Hillary to win. He doesn't want anyone to win. He doesn't want Trump to win though at all. Like he doesn't want Trump to win at all.

Like he wants Trump to not not win, period. Like I think that that's – and there are several people who are you know i know that there are people on the exact same exact opposite side with hillary too those there's a lot of bernie or bus people and a lot of people that are just like no no hillary i will not do it you know so there's there's people on both sides of the fence at this point that are that are adamant that they do not want the guy that would be for their party not to to not win Yeah, you got me there. I told you that great movements, they blink right before they're about to win. And I have said for years,

we cannot blink. And I said to you last summer, you don't know how close you are to winning. You're almost there. Don't blink. Don't lose your values. Don't blink. You're about to win.

This was confirmation that the Democrats who have been belittling and saying how powerless and how out of touch and out of the mainstream we are for quoting the Constitution and the founding documents. This is proof positive that these people who are students of behavioral science has made an entire week about us i don't know i have no idea i don't know i don't know i'm panicking looking around the room i have no idea none of that made any sense whatsoever what happened i think he had a stroke none of that made any have you ever seen ever seen the people that think that they're speaking perfectly? They think that they have no – And they've had like serious – They've had like a serious – And they're just like, look, man, purple monkey orange dishwasher, banana peels and clouds.

Yeah. And they'll look at you like – What? And you're just like, I don't potato that at all. That made more sense at all they have used our words our approach everything that is in our heart and they put it front and center why would that be bad who's the they i don't understand who the they is okay let's see if we can i think he's saying – The Democrats did it? No.

If he is, then he's mad at the Democrats for stealing his patriotism, which is a possibility. But I think instead – How can you – hold on. Please, can I just ask a question? Yeah, sure. How can you steal my patriotism? It's an elaborate heist. Is it in my wallet?

Like did I lose? Where is it at? It's an elaborate heist. I have to plan for weeks and weeks at a time like you reach for your patriotism i eventually go to the men's club next door and drill into the bank and fill it with water and then and then swim out with the safety deposit box can i drive through a large house with a small car like can i I Italian chop that shit? Or the other option is that they used our – when he's saying our, he's saying the Tea Party values, put them front and center. But they didn't – they were just paying lip service to him at the Republican convention.

But the whole Republican convention is literally nothing but lip service. That's the thing I don't understand. That is true. It's just a bunch of speeches. What are they going to do? And judging by the uptick in hookers, there's a lot of lip service afterwards. the thing i don't understand it's like it's it's just a bunch of speeches what are they judging by the uptick in hookers there's a lot of lip service i saw the same thing i saw the same thing like escort services services are like republican national convention limber up girls cha-ching and limber up guys you know what i mean limbaugh girls goprnc idiots you idiots i love this so maybe after you get your ass handed to you by a bunch of marxist revolutionary radicals who have just cloaked themselves as you.

Maybe you'll figure it out, that maybe we should stop moderating to the left. God, is he mad. He's so mad. He's so mad. Holy, you mad bro. He's so mad. He's going to have to go off stage. They're going to have to pause just for a second

so he can huff Ted Cruz's shoe real quick. Just real quick. Just run over to the side he's gonna take he's gonna take ted cruz's underwear and wear it like a gas mask over his face he's got like one of ted cruz's pocket squares and he's just like rubbing it against himself like i just want his scent on me. His pocket square is stuck together with semen. He's got a cold. Don't wash it. You'll ruin it. Want to contact the guys?

Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to Dissonance.Podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com forward slash dissonance pod or click the link on the podcast homepage and you can donate to the production of cognitive dissonance on a per episode basis if you can't spare any money take a second to give us a five-star review on itunes or stitcher or spread the word about the show we want to send a big heartfelt glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us you fucking rock so this audio that i'm going to play right now is from our trip to the ark encounter we went down to the ark encounter this last week uh we saw the giant boat dude that's fucking nuts crazy

we had a great time but we we wound up recording something right after in the car right so we may seem a little distracted because we are – I am driving at the time. But we did record about 20 minutes worth of audio of us just talking about what is happening at the Stark Encounter. We're going to play it for you now. It was just a very unique experience. Unique is a great way to put it. A great way to put it. So enjoy this bit of tape.

Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Cecil's car. This was the Ark Encounter. Jesus Christ, man. That is something else. So this is probably going to be the jankiest, most plugged together piece of shit recording we've done so far. We're literally recording from the car, passing a mic back and forth. But some shit simply cannot wait. The six hours it will take us to get back to Chicago

before we can address the goddamn calamity that was the fucking Ark Encounter. We drove down to, I would say Louisville, but Louisville is a fucking hour. Like, that's the closest civilization-ish type area. Yeah, if you count Cincinnati, which we don't. Well, nobody counts Cincinnati. Yeah, they fucking put chili on their fucking noodles.

That's not a fucking place. That's not a place, man. So we drove down to the Ark Encounter. We paid $805,000 to see the fucking Ark. It's like in a concealed carry weapon. You know what I mean? It is a spectacularly not cheap thing to do. And as a spectacularly cheap man,

I don't appreciate that. And we wandered aimlessly for about two and a half hours through the Ark... What was that? Museum? Ramp, I think is what it's called. It's a ramp, pretty much. Yeah, let's just talk about this place structurally first.

Like, you roll up to this joint, and it's unbelievably massive. It is unbelievably massive. But when you get in, the whole place is just a series of ramps for all the fucking fat Kentuckians and their rascal scooters. That's all it is. The whole thing is, like, it's two of every kind. It's fucking two of every fucking Kentuckians' rascal scooter. I will say it is hard to move Stegosaurus I up ramps. So they needed to install elevators as well.

It is, it is a, this place is not only a monument to the stupidity and credulity of people. It is also a monument to the billions and billions served at McDonald's. That is very true. You know, there was some really interesting parts to this, uh, to this experience. Uh, my very first, uh, favorite part was, uh, when we walked in and we got a chance to see all the cages and one of the cages had in it a zika head seal that is this tiny headed seal i i seriously have no fucking idea what ken ham was modeling this after but it seriously looks like a seal that was made by mrs johnson's fifth grade class it it was a weird like misshapen lump animal and you're just like why would you it's like it's like a it's like a fucking lump of clay with claws and sad eyes that's all that it was you know you walk

into the place and at first it's just a series of like shitty rattan cages and inside the cage is just speakers that play animal sounds like just random undifferentiated grunts and whistles and hoots and fucking wait i thought that was the people in the ark encounter i had no idea that was the cages i didn't realize it those are just the natural sounds of kentucky that's all that is that's i thought it was mostly the nesting birds in the fat of the people that were around us they brought their own flora and fauna along with them they've got their own fucking ecosystem there were some seriously strangely misshapen people in the Ark encounter. Not just us.

Not just us. Yeah. No, no. I mean, yeah, we didn't add anything positive to that mix. The weird thing is we didn't stick out. You would think somebody would be like, damn, Yankees. That's true. That's true.

Now, after this had gone on, now, at this point, up until until this point, now we're 10 minutes into the fucking exhibit at this point. There's not a single plaque or a thing that explains anything until we finally get to the very first sort of plaques on the wall that say, did Noah really need seven Brontosauri? And and most of the animals in this place were prehistoric they had a fucking short neck giraffe and they had this weird zika seal and they had a trump sloth and they had all kinds of little little weird fucking things in there and what they were trying to show you is that evolution we found these fossils of these things but evolution happened between the flood and now not the millions of years that normal people think evolution took place in yeah you know the the weird thing about the weird thing about the whole exhibit like structurally too though like when you walk through there were places where just

lines and bottlenecks formed and they would form and then you'd be like oh i bet there's going to be something great i bet there's going to be something fucking super sweet. And it would just be like a bunch of pictures on the wall of like Adam and Eve or like a diorama, like no shit, like an actual fucking diorama of people having fun. Well, not just people. Xerxes from 300 was having fun too. Fuck me. Fuck me. Like the whole thing,

it's like look at the depravity and excess of the people that we totally just had to drown their babies. Like we had no choice because they were dancing to music. And you're just like, wait, you're proving this to me with a fucking shitty diorama.

And everybody's fucking so entranced by the fucking seven storyboards and three dioramas that we literally waited in line like 15 or 20 minutes to get to the section that had, I mean, it was a half a dozen or a dozen Dungeons and Dragons-esque fucking storyboards. They were straight up Fiendfolio. I mean, like a Fiendfolio, possibly Monster Manual from AD&D. But that's exactly what they look like. And the one thing I want to point out is one of the pictures really did strike me. possibly Monster Manual from AD&D, but that's exactly what they look like.

And the one thing I want to point out is one of the pictures really did strike me. It was the image of all the people killing all the dinosaurs, cutting off their horns, basically killing them, and it looked like they were just killing them for fun, right? So these people are out there killing all these sweet little dinosaurs

that look super sad while they're dead, okay? They look so sad but you know it's like it's like okay but don't you guys like ted nugent doesn't he like fuck a deer carcass or whatever like these guys don't give a shit about animals they don't get two fucks about animals but in this they're trying to there's this sympathy ploy with dead dinosaurs which doesn't make any sense at all and really fucking throws me right off their narrative. I don't even understand where they're coming from. Well, especially because later on they go through great pains.

They have like a whole section where they're like, and man had dominion over all of the animals, and all the animals can go fuck themselves, and we can eat them all, and we can fucking tie them up and do shit to them. Because man's got dominion. He's got the Bible quote about how we can do whatever the fuck we want as long as you don't drink their blood. And then later you can drink their blood or whatever the fuck that's all about.

It's super weird. It is just super weird. And they really do focus a lot on dinosaurs, man. Like it's the fucking people with dinosaurs place. There's a fucking velociraptor in a cage. There's a stegosaurus in a cage. There's a bunch of other prehistoric animals like prehistoric mammals and shit that are in cages and and it's just you're what it what it says to

me is get on message man you you don't believe evolution exists you don't believe that things evolved but there's a fucking short neck giraffe there man yeah well you know this is a this is a museum that had no shit a portion of the museum dedicated to a broom and a dustpan. Like, I mean, like, there is actually a point where they have a roped-off broom and a dustpan. I think that's unfair, though. It was a crooked-handled broom. Okay, you do have me there. But, like, they go through pains to be like, because one of the fucking obvious questions you walk in,

you're like, how are you going to clean up after all these fucking things? And then they're just like, well, we got a broom and a dustpan well and then they show the fucking uh they have all these like little uh uh areas that they've cordoned off with full of ikea furniture for all the people to like go on their fucking pleasure cruise during the apocalypse on and you look at and you're like there's just fucking there's so many animals on here how do you have space and then they have like they're like relaxing time was very important while all the people fucking screamed for help outside of the fucking ark you know you've got to have a good apocalypse life balance yeah exactly like while baby's heads are banging up against the wall you got to make sure you'll be able to fucking

split the peas enough for dinner later on well you don't want to eat the ends the ends are fibrous yeah and that's bad for you that's terrible you had an interesting thing that you said inside though tom and this i think um really is one thing that i think a lot of people miss at least i've never heard this argument made and it's what the fuck about all the flora right because you know sure all the fauna is in here right at least supposedly although that seems fucking you're stretching every every every amount of creduliity to even consider. But then you look at all the goddamn plant life on the planet. It's not like you can flood the entire Earth with salt water and everything's going to be fine next week.

Right, yeah. There was an area where it's just like, oh yeah, we got some plants. And it's like, wait a minute, you can't just do that. You got to have fucking oak trees and rhododendrons and carrots and basil and Thai basil. You gotta have fucking all the plants too. Everything. And from every temperate zone too.

It's not just one zone of like earth where it's just like, oh yeah, well we got everything from like the fertile crescent. You have to have shit from like, you know, you have to have fucking ferns and small fucking shrubs from up north too. The whole thing, the best part about the Ark Encounter is that if you went into it, and I do think this, if you went into it thinking, yeah, this probably happened. I feel like this.

I don't know how you would walk out of there being like, that fucking happened. You would walk out of there being like, that is some fucking bullshit. There is no way any of this shit happened. And then they had the huggable death area which was very sweet it had a bunch of huggable little animals and inside the fucking huggable animal area it says everybody died on the planet except for eight people right who are all incidentally related so that's not a little bit weird did they i missed this did they address incest at all inside the thing at all they don don't address it, but they didn't strictly prohibit it.

It's Kentucky, my friend. I think that's fair because you probably need, like, when they came by to inspect the place, they looked to make sure you had all the proper conduit, sprinklers, railings, and you said nothing wrong about incest because I think that's all in the rules. I mean, you do know the rules. It's turn the other web. So the other web foot down in Kentucky. It's like they also have a section where they dedicate to like, you know, well, how could like one family, like how could one dude, Noah, build this entire thing?

And then it shows like Noah's like, well, then they basically like, well, he's totally really good at woodworking. I'm not even kidding. That's like a whole there's like a whole like section. It's like, well, he's totally really good at woodworking i'm not even kidding that's like a whole there's like a whole like section that's like well he's totally really good at woodworking and then like the next one you move on to is like and he's probably super good at iron working too you're like fucking iron working well they had a whole blacksmith shop on on the ship so there was a whole blacksmith section i mean don't don't get caught up folks in the idea that this whole thing was full of animals there was a fucking you know yeah there was a poop deck okay but there was also plenty of room for recreation we actually toured the ballroom that they had on the second floor which

was very large um and then uh big nice tall ceilings actually i think if you cut this place up and turn it into congos you could turn a good profit in Chicago. The idea when you walk through this place, the idea that you could have, and they try to address this too. And my favorite part where they fail the most miserably is the bats section. Because they're saying like, you know, the Ham Times got this whole story about, you don't need one of every animal. You just need 34,000 different animals. And that's actually on one of their signs. You just need 34,000 different animals because they're taking one of each kind right you don't need a wolf and a dog and a coyote you need one dog type like that's a dog type we just

throw them on to a category of dog type but then when it gets to bats wait are you serious yeah yeah there's a whole you didn't see that there's a whole like plaque there's a lot of shit i fucking just walked right by. My fucking, my, I actually believe this face was breaking. I thought, I will admit, Cecil, I thought you were going to kick me out at one point. Like, when I turned the first corner and saw the animatronic dude praying, I had to, I looked at Sarah, I was like, I can't walk around this corner just yet. I'm going to get in trouble. I'm going to get, I'm going to lose a friend here. I had, I had, I mean, to be fair, we didn't want to go in here and make fun of people. And then we tried to be as discreet as possible and take surreptitious photos and not just come out and laugh out loud. Although

there was many times, Tom, that you laughed out loud. You could not control yourself. There were many times where to not laugh out loud would have broken me right in half my friend i would have actually died when i turned the corner and saw the animatronic dude with the fucking vascular arms like praying like it was fucking it was so ridiculous they had they had uh uh maybe three or four animatronic exhibits in the place, and in none of them was it enhanced by animatronics. The animatronics made it look worse. It really did. The one where the guy was talking to you, and he had way smaller eyes than any human would normally have.

I guess they were pre-flood eyes. Yeah, that was scary. But I got to go back to the bats real quick because he has this thing about you know you only need one dog type but then he's like but bats bats notice how much time how much room we've dedicated to bats because you know there's lots of different bats and if they fuck they don't create new bats like they're not they can't a coyote and a dog can fuck and they can they can produce offspring but these other bats ah you gotta have one of each one of each so they got like 30. But these other bats, you've got to have one of each.

So they've got like 30-some different kinds of bats. And I'm like, doesn't this obviously pose problems for your whole theory? Like you don't know anything about, how do you know which dinosaurs could fuck each other? You're hung up on how many bats, but you're like, you just need a handful of dinosaurs. You just need a handful, a short handful of them. And I know I didn't see 38,000 different kinds of shit in there. I saw maybe 100 different kinds of shit.

And I know, you know, they're going to say, oh, well, we needed room to tell you what happened to fossils and why everybody died or something. But at the same time, even if you did have 38,000 spaces, I can't imagine the space you would need. Do you see the size of the fucking giraffe cage, man? It was huge. It was fucking huge. It was the size of like a fucking, like a studio apartment in New York. There's no way you're going to fit all the animals in there. I'm sorry.

I don't care what you say, Ken Ham. You're an asshole. But let's not discount the massive size of this fucking Ark thing. It is so unbelievably massive that the first thing you must think when you walk up to this is, I don't care how many hundreds of years you've had, no one person could just move the timbers necessary. It is an absurd... No eight people.

No eight people could possibly have constructed such a fucking edifice to stupidity as this fucking thing. It could not be accomplished. The size of it is something you don't want to discount. It really is a massive structure. But it's mostly empty in there. Now, I think that that's because this particular exhibit is brand new. But then I also think they've kind of reached a limit of their knowledge. I don't know that there's anything else in there that you really could add.

I mean, what else do you put in there? I can't imagine what other arguments they're going to refute. They try to refute all the arguments. They do it very poorly. And then you're at the end of the exhibit. I mean, there was lots of space in here, but I just don't foresee any new exhibits in here. I mean, maybe they put some in there, but I don't know what they would put.

The place is as empty as their ideas. I mean, it's really just like you walk in. It's just as fucking empty as their thoughts. But one of the things that I would say is that this place was fucking packed. Like now, the first week, we saw all the pictures that came back with Steve Silverman and all the other people, the prominent atheist. There was, uh, Aaron Ra was there. A bunch of other people showed up and just walked around this place. One of the things that I was very impressed by was the fucking full parking lot that you had to take a bus to get there. That was a huge line for the bus. There was 10 or 15 minute waits for some of these photo galleries that were in there. And it was

essentially a very packed crowd throughout the entire exhibit i was i was not walking around there by myself in any of these places right and all of that for stuffed animals in cages like that's really what this amounts to like the whole thing is just it's like it's like somebody's fucking woodworking wet dream and then bad taxidermy in rattan cages. That's the whole thing. And then somebody drew some shit and put it on the walls like, doesn't Adam look fucking sad?

Like, that's the whole fucking exhibit. The funniest part is going into the gift shop and buying t-shirts that they have no idea can be worn both ironically and non-ironically. That is true. We got a forecast one that has 40 days of rain on the forecast. And then what's yours, Tom? Mine says Noah's Ark Animal Shelter saving lives two by two.

I think it's actually hilarious. But it's euthanizing by the billions. It's like the most pro-kill shelter. What a fucking disaster buckle of a place. I will say this it's expensive. And while it's interesting to go kind of, uh, at the, at the onset, by the time I got to the third floor, I was really unimpressed and really wanted to leave. And it's so hard to go through there and not like break a joke or whatever. So I feel like you're probably going to waste your money if you go. I mean, it really is one of those things that, you know, like maybe people want to go and laugh, but I don't know.

I don't know that it's worth going to. Yeah. I think we've, we've done the wasting of the money for you. So you don't have to, we took pictures of the funniest shit anyway. So you can check it out on Twitter. You can check it out on Facebook. we sort of live tweeted and facebooked most of it we'll post additional pictures to our social media pages um as soon as we get back to civilization or louisville i'm not sure no no no no you're you're you're that is definitively not civilization yeah all right as soon as we get to chicago or someplace with you know like electricity and flushies. So we are joined by AJ Shalom. Did I say that right? Mm-hmm right oh man i'm i'm fucking nailing this already we're 10 seconds into the interview i feel like did i do it i feel like this is the best it's

gonna get you're not gonna do better i'm gonna try to i'm gonna try to do the title the title is that the tough part so humanistist Giving Program Coordinator. Holy shit. I fucking knocked that out of the park. Are you kidding me? I'm amazing. I'm amazing. I feel like let's just pack this shit up and go home. With Foundation Beyond Belief.

Thank you for joining us today. I'm very happy to be here. So we have in the past worked with some other groups to give to Foundation Beyond Belief. We've had our audience pitch in and give to Foundation Beyond Belief. We wanted to have you here to talk a little bit about Foundation Beyond Belief. We've had our audience pitch in and give to Foundation Beyond Belief. We wanted to have you here to talk a little bit about Foundation Beyond Belief and what they do.

So we want to thank you for showing up. And we actually, we got a bunch of questions. So if our audience has never heard of Foundation Beyond Belief, just let them know what it is. So Foundation Beyond Belief is, first and foremost, a humanist charity, and we promote secular volunteering and secular responsible humanist giving.

We're guided by all the principles of secular humanism, and we want to unite this humanist community that many of us live in. In uniting that, we get to advocate this compassionate voice that humanists have. We have the humanist giving, which is the avenue that all of humanists and secular people, atheists, skeptics can come together and combine their charitable financial donations, and we will show you and tell you a really great organization where that money can go. But you donate through us so that all that money goes together, and then we are able to really show these organizations in the philanthropic world that the secular community can have a voice. I know you guys do a lot of work vetting which organizations,

but I'm curious which organizations you're most passionate about, like which kinds of organizations really drive you. I'm just very curious about this. Well, I have to be careful because this is not – You're allowed to have favorites. We have favorite kids. Everyone says they don't. They fucking do. They do.

They do. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Yeah. You're not going to tell – sure you're not going to tell anybody. I just mean categories.

Why? Because we were talking just before the show that what drives Cecil and I are charities that really impact people in a very fundamental way, in a physical way, in terms of providing the basics, food, medicine, shelter, sewing people back up. That's where my heart lies in terms of my interest in charitable giving. But that's not where everybody's heart lies. I know a lot of what you do is connecting people's passions. So Foundation Beyond Belief, we focus on five different project areas. And when I tell you these project areas, you're going to be like, wow, those are big. Sure.

So the first is poverty and health. It'll be the first time I hear that. I'll say that. Nobody's ever said that around me. No one's ever said that anywhere in the room I've been in. So one, probably not me either. So we have poverty and health. We have education.

We have human rights. We have the natural world. And then we have the little pinky finger called Challenge the Gap, which is its own separate project that we can talk about a little bit later. But what really drives me and what I've learned in looking at hundreds of charities a year is that I am very drawn to organizations that don't fit into just one category, very drawn to organizations that don't fit into just one category, that we might have placed in a category to research, and that's where they are in our database, and that's where they seem to focus.

But as we start researching them, those categories just blur. I like organizations that are really looking at what the community needs, the whole community. Yes, in a lot of communities, there are children with cleft palates, and it's an easy surgery to fix it, and it changes their life in terms of feeding, in terms of speaking, in terms of stigma in their communities. And that's wonderful. But there's other parts of that community that also need assistance in other ways. So we do look at organizations that are doing one thing, but we also look at organizations that are community-based, that are looking at what the community wants.

Sure. So I actually tried to veer away from that idea of someone's hungry, give them a meal. Because if you don't deal with the root causes and if organizations aren't dealing with the root causes that are causing that malnutrition or – I feel like there's a parable about fishing involved. There is a parable about fishing, but we don't need to go there. We want them to tell people that can help them what help they need.

That's an important thing, especially with grassroots organizations. You have the group that needs the help. They're telling you the best way in which you can serve them rather than the other way around you coming in and saying, this is how I'm going to serve you. So when I give money to Foundation Beyond Belief and they have at this time selected, say, five charities that they're going to be giving that money to, do I have a choice on where my money goes or do I just give it to you and then you split it evenly amongst those charities? We can do either. You can choose the percentage that goes to any five of all

categories or if you also wish to support Foundation Beyond Belief in that way in your monthly donation, you can also include that in your percentages. I think that's so important though because when you're, when you're considering what you're going to do philanthropically, it's, it's, if it doesn't resonate with you, it's just so much harder to get excited. It's so much harder to get other people in your community, excited your community of, of givers, you know, your community of listeners for us, you know, whatever, if it doesn't, if it doesn't really catch you, you know, then that's just not, it's just not your thing.

And everybody's interests are going to lie differently. Like we joked earlier, my interest is I want to give somebody a food, something very tangible. I'm a very tangible kind of guy. But I can see very easily how other organizations might really jazz somebody up or resonate with other people. So I think that's great that you have that flexibility. somebody up or resonate with other people. So I think that's great that you have that flexibility. One of my jobs and one of our jobs is to tell the stories of our organizations and tell the stories of the people that they are working with and for so that you can be excited about

the beneficiaries that have been chosen. There are so many organizations out there that are all competing for your dollar, right? Every one of them is competing for your philanthropic dollar and you get this choice anxiety. There's so many different things that you can choose. You could choose to give money to a hundred different organizations. And it's nice, Foundation of Belief allows you

to sort of give to many organizations. You guys have vetted these things in a very precise way. Talk a little bit about your vetting process. How do you go about that? So I have a database with over 800 charities. Now, I will say that that includes charities that we will not give to. What if they bought you lunch? Would you do that?

No. No. It's dinner or nothing. It's not going to happen. It's dinner or nothing. It's not going to happen. It's dinner or nothing. Yeah. The other thing that we look at is they're working in a field. Let's say they're working in urban after-school education.

We want to make sure these organizations are employing the best practices in that field. Okay. the best practices in that field. Now, they might not be able to give you absolute proof through a random study, scientific study, but we want to make sure that they've looked at the best practices. So we want to make sure that we reach out to some of those studies that have been done by academics or being done by other philanthropic organizations that the organization is headed in the right direction. Another thing that we need to make sure of is that they're a secular organization and they're doing secular work. We largely do not fund anything, any organization that is run by a religious organization.

So you won't like buy Jim Baker's food buckets and send them places? Well, certainly not that. Because those buckets look tasty. I'm just saying they look tasty. And they're available for only thousands of dollars above retail. Thousands of dollars. Yeah. It's a good deal.

So no, not even within our challenge the gap category, which does allow us to reach sort of across that very small bridge that connects liberal religious organizations that are doing things that are in our worldview. I thought you were going to say Jim Baker with humanity. No, Jim. Okay, no, no. I don't think you can cross a bridge that gets from Jim Baker to humanity. I said a little bridge. This is not like the Golden Gate, buddy. The little bridge between places that we have common goals and organizations that do not proselytize.

Sure. Point blank. Yeah. And that's only in our Challenge the Gap category. So no Bibles for Haiti, right? Like none of that shit. So tell us a little bit about any kind of giving activity that you think the listeners should know about.

In Humanist Giving, we're in the middle of the quarter and we have five beneficiaries. So we have the Innocence Project of Texas, which is working to get hearings for people who have possibly been incarcerated improperly for crimes that they have not committed. We have supported them twice before, about every two to two and a half years. And they're just doing solid work. They recently got four women released that had been accused of rape. And their trial was just full of inaccuracies, and they didn't get proper representation, and they, after years and years of being in jail,

just got released from jail. Our Challenge the Gap category, which is the one that we often will choose a religious organization, but that does not proselytize, is called Friendly Water for the World. religious organization, but that does not proselytize. It's called Friendly Water for the World. They're doing water and sanitation projects, state-of-the-art, good best practices. They're using biosand filters, and they're doing community projects instead of household projects.

They're doing what they should be doing. They happen to have a little bit of religious background and religious leaders. But they're doing exactly what they should be doing. Sure. Natural World is everybody solar who we talked about before who sort of came into our awareness at the right time. They're a small organization, and our grant is hopefully really going to give them a solid footing to go into the next year. Our education beneficiary is called Developments in Literacy, and they work in Pakistan. And they have actually proved they've done studies, and they proven, they've been there for 15 or 16 years.

It's a Pakistani organization. They work on literacy projects. They reach out to both girls and boys that are behind in their reading. They train teachers to do better, have better teaching techniques, and they get kids caught up. And our last organization is an organization that I'm really excited about. It's called UTEC, and they're based right outside of Boston. I actually got to visit them about a year and a half. And their goal is to bring people, bring young men and women off of the streets, out of the juvenile justice system, out of the cycle of poverty. And they bring them and they mentor them. And they let these teens and these people who are in their young 20s follow their own path.

They do have requirements to be in their path. You have to show up to a number of workshops. You have to register to vote. You have to participate in the community. You have to do job training. And people succeed wonderfully. And if one of the people they are mentoring isn't ready to commit to the whole program, they're going to drop out. Yeah.

And they're going to let them because failure is part of life. Because failure is part of life. And if people can't see their own failure and find their way back to something that's going to give them power and strength, then you're not going to see progress. Is there anything else you want to talk about? In our Humanist Giving Program, we are finding organizations that are top-notch that you probably wouldn't find on your own. Not only that, but that it's really important for the secular community to show the philanthropic community that we are a group of people that give. That it's an important thing we do.

And if one podcast, not that it's bad, gives money to Doctors Without Borders, they don't know that you're necessarily a secular donor. So if we're able to combine all the donations, we've had beneficiaries that after we tell them that we are giving them a grant, they look up our website and they can just do their work. And they acknowledge that we're from the secular community and why it's important for secular and humanist believers, and I'm going to say secular and humanist believers because I personally have very strong beliefs in secular humanism,

that we pull our money together and we show our beneficiaries that we can make a difference as a community. So if people were going to give to Foundation Beyond Belief, where would they go? Go to the website. So when you get to the website, foundationbeyondbelief.org, you can click on the orange tab, it says humanist giving. And in that tab, it'll say become a monthly donor. And that's the money that goes into the humanist giving program where we give our grants, or you can click on the one-time donor. We also have a project called

the Foundation 50, which is a $50 a month donation, which goes to Foundation Beyond Belief for operating expenses. And we also have additional fundraising for the Humanist Service Corps, which is on their website, on their page on our website. But the main area is if you hit Humanist Giving and it'll say on the left-hand side, become a member or make a donation. That's the easiest way. AJ, thanks so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it. This was great. You really are doing great work.

Thank you. Thank you. It's really personally meaningful and wonderful to be able to do this work. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all of our current patrons, but we want to thank our newest patrons, Our newest patrons, Robert, Nelson, Miguel, Perfectly Cromulent Word, Darren, ByTheLake23, Trent, Nate, Ram Man Loves Manny Faces. Do you remember Manny Faces?

Do you remember that one? Oh, is that the one where he flipped his head around? Yeah, yeah. Ram Man does love Manny Faces. Andrew. Now, this one is just mean. Eli Sucks is mean. That's mean. I'm sorry. That's just mean. one is just mean eli sucks is mean i that's me i'm sorry that's just mean

eli is just terrible he's just like he's just got soft little hands and he's terrible and he drives so bad he's the worst i guess eli sucks actually i'll go i would go with all right Jenny Liu, David, Morden, Cuck, Crystal, Chris, Martin, Seth, Shelby, Joshua, Dave, another, a couple. There's three Martins in a row. Martin H., Martin S., and Martin G., Christopher, Kyle, Adam, Brandon, PJ, Ban Concealed Carrot, Randy, Nyasha, Dead Eye, Nick, Lumber, Rick, DB, Buster Heyman.

That's awesome. Buster Heyman. I pronounce it how I pronounce it. Thank you very much. I think it's dirty the way you pronounce it. It is, and that's why I pronounced it that way. Thank you. Look at you. Troy, Lisa, Guy, Richo, Tori, Kevin, and Ellen. Thank you also very much for your generous donations. We are close to our Patreon goal right now is

to have a personal assistant to help us with all the stuff that goes in with this show. We hope that we can reach that goal pretty soon. We also hope that we can reach another goal, which would be us putting out a

show every other month that would be patreon only so that would be a pretty amazing goal to reach it would be a lot of work but it would be worthwhile because we know that the people really do enjoy those patreon only shows and you know as the patreon dollars have continued to come in not only have we been able to continue doing the show through some changes and transitions in our lives have the studio um we've been able to do some fun stuff too like go to the ark encounter we recently went down to the uh yeah to kentucky we saw the ark encounter we know that there was a lot of fun engagement on twitter and facebook we sent out some pictures had a really fun time yeah that kind of thing is only possible for us to do because of the support of our patrons so we just want to really want to say thank you for that

so we got a message um this is from adam and Adam says, I just want to let you know, has anyone else noticed that the guy on your abstinence bumper that's trying to hook up with Bristol Palin sounds like Heath from Scathing Atheist? It's awesome that he points out that sounds like the situation. Speaking of a situation, I'm going to post this image. This is Donald Trump and Putin. And it's just one that has to be seen to be believed. This is from Aaron. Thank you, Aaron.

So weird. We got an interesting message from Anonymous. And Anonymous said, I don't know if you knew this, but basically since the 90s iran has been pro trans and has done tons of sex change operations the second most i saw on wikipedia second most in the world i am astonished by that but it it's sort of i wonder if they're like we don't like the gays but so just make them into another gender if you want to switch you want to play for the other team, we'll change your jersey. Jesus Christ. That's fucking commitment, man.

Like, oh, that's not – I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, clearly the thing is is there's a very big difference between sexuality and gender, right? Right. So that to me – That's what I mean. Yeah, I know.

You've got to be in such dire straits in Iran that you're like the only solution is a solution to the wrong problem. Right. Right? Like that's fucked up. We had a ton of messages about this, Tom. Everybody sent it to us. The moment there's a story about a glory hole, we always get the message. This one is about a church organist.

That's so funny. That's a church organist. That's so funny. That's a church organist. Are you kidding me? Who is made a glory hole? So Jerry something fucking Childress evidently got arrested. He went

on July 12th in a small restaurant with nary a transgendered person in sight. According to cops, a worker operating a street sweeper stopped to use the restroom. While in a stall, the man told police a man entered the restroom and went into the adjoining stall. And basically, the guy stuck his dick through it, and it didn't really work out for him. So the organist was attempting to continue to play with his organ.

I like that he shoved his penis to the divider wall and waited. There's a moment like that. There's a fucking leap of faith there. You know what I mean? Like, they should have sent a poet. It's just... We got an image from Amanda

and Amanda sent in this image. It says, Club Z, Seattle's only 24-hour, 24-7 mirrored glory hole maze. It's a Pokestop? It's a Pokestop? I don't really know. I'll tell you what. You're going to catch something there.

Sounds kind of awesome. We got an image from Mara. We actually got three, but I'm going to put one of these images on. It's an image of a birdhouse. It's a very adorable birdhouse. Birdhouse. We had a chance to go down to Kentucky, and we mentioned this before, but we had a chance to go down to Kentucky

and go to the Ark Encounter, but then we also went to a bar afterwards. We got a chance to meet a couple fans. What was great, Mike was there with his wife, and we just had a really nice time meeting both of them. Nice folks. Really great people. Don't know why they hung out with us.

And just had a great time. Mike's moving on to a different area of the country, so we want to wish Mike good luck on his move. Got another image. This is from James, and it's Gary-based, so we'll just leave it at that. What the fuck? Yeah, dude.

That thing. So Mythicist Milwaukee Podcast contacted us and let us know that we have a pair of general admission tickets to give away to the Bart Ehrman-Robert Price debate. The conference that is coming up is going to be happening in October. The conference is on the Friday of October the 21st from 1 to 9. It is going to be happening in Milwaukee, and we are not going to be able to be attending. However, Thomas Smith from Atheistically Speaking and Comedy Shoeshine and Thomas and the Bible will be there giving a talk on the Bible as well as Matt Dillahunty and a few other notable people will be there. So Mythicist Milwaukee is going to be putting on this conference. So you can check out the website.

We'll have it on this week's show notes. This is episode 309. So if you want to check out that conference, it's October 21st. We will be overseas at that point. Yep. But, uh, but a great,

uh, opportunity to go check this out. And we're going to be giving away two tickets to this. Uh, but we want somebody to do something for him. So what we're going to do is we're going to ask you to send in a quiz question for the David Ike quizzes that we are giving. It can be on any chapter, on any subject, but if you send in

a quiz question and we will collect all of these quiz questions and we will then select one of these people who sent in a quiz question, we will then read several of these quiz questions on the air probably next time, maybe two times from now, three times from now. I'm not sure when we'll get a chance because we are recording two episodes straight in a row. But we will read these questions and then we will pick a winner probably out of a hat when we collect all of them.

So we want you to send in your best David Icke question and that will be the winner of the tickets. Your best David Icke question, and that will be the winner of the tickets. We got a message about voting for Hillary. Nick sent in a long message to us about why you shouldn't vote for Hillary. And we kind of got into a little bit of a conversation about it. But, Tom, I'm sure you had something to say about it. Yeah, so I'm going to summarize because it's a long – it's a very long email. I don't want to read the whole thing. But we talked a little bit about this before we started to record.

And I think that this comes down and Cecil, you actually pointed this out. This comes down to whether or not you vote as a realist or an idealist. You know, I vote I personally vote and I strongly advocate voting as a realist. I think once you get into the general election, I think you can vote. I think it's an entirely reasonable thing to do to be an idealist in the primary, right? That's where you're deciding this is the guy who most closely aligns with my values. And for me, that makes a lot of sense, right? I voted Bernie. Bernie aligns with my values. I voted for him. I was pleased to vote for him. Well, he didn't win. And now it's Hillary and Trump. And to pretend it's anything other than Hillary and Trump, to pretend that there's any other candidate that has a fucking snowball's chance in hell of actually winning this election is to deny the reality of how election politics work. is to deny the reality of how election politics work.

So the question then becomes in the general election, do you vote as a realist, meaning do you vote the lesser of evils, or do you continue to vote your ideals and vote for the candidate who most closely aligns with your personal belief system regardless of whether or not they have any chance in hell of actually winning? Nick very strongly espouses an idealistic standpoint when it comes to voting. Vote for the candidate that most closely aligns with your values. Again, I'm summarizing. For me, that doesn't cut it.

And I'm not selling anybody. I'm just my own personal thoughts on it. That doesn't cut it. Somebody is going to be making big policy decisions. And one guy is demonstrably worse than the other. I think they're both kind of assholes in this circumstance. One guy is demonstrably worse than the other. In so many ways, they are nearly innumerable.

So I feel it incumbent upon myself to vote against someone. I voted against people a number of times in elections. So it really – I think that's a great way we talked about earlier. I think it's a really interesting way to phrase it, idealism versus realism when it comes to the general election. Yeah, I go the other direction. I never pick anybody who I don't want to be the president. I don't ever pick anybody. I don't look at a list of candidates and say this is the one I want because it's the one that's going to win or I want to make sure that that other person loses.

I always look at it and say, this is the one that I think can run the country the best. In this case, it just happens to be Hillary. In this case, when I'm going to go to the – because I've already looked at all the other options. And in this case, I'm going to pick Hillary. go to the, because I've already looked at all the other options. And in this case, I'm going to pick Hillary. Other people may have different opinions and don't let anybody else affect your opinion. Go do your research, do your research, see who you want to vote for. Check out all these scandals that everybody's posting up. See if they mean anything to you. See if they're a problem for you, right? Look at all, at all the bad press that people are saying

and look into it and say, you know what, what about this TPP thing? What about Benghazi? What about these other, you know, this deleted emails? What about this other stuff? See what's going on behind the scenes. Read some stuff about it and say, is it something that I care about? You know, same thing goes for Trump. Is it something that you care about? Matthew said that in his state, the requirements are as follows for concealed carry. Step one, obtain a firearm. Steps two, through America, conceal it and walk the fuck around. Goddamn.

There are places in the nation where that's a possibility, and that's a scary thing. It's horrifying. I got a message from Denny, and Denny was talking about Blue Lives Matter versus Black Lives Matter. And one of the things he said is, I generally agree with your take on blue and black lives matter. But one thing no one ever seems to bring up is the disconnect between the two. When have blue lives not mattered? And that's an interesting point, right? I mean, we have this just like soldiers.

We have this inordinate you can do no wrong when it comes to cops and that happens all the time there's a hero worship level of hero worship but then also a level of disdain that is beyond measure for cop killers you know what i mean like that is a level of cop lives have always mattered more. Absolutely. And, and, you know, it makes sense. It does make some sense. I will say this. If I were a cop and somebody killed a cop, that cop is my buddy, but that cop is also an analog of me. And it is, you know, if somebody kills my buddy or somebody I work with or something along those lines, it's going to hit home differently.

It just is. We're still human animals. So Denny, you're right. No expense is spared when a police officer is killed in action to fucking bring somebody to justice for that. I totally agree. And it's a shame that expenses are spared like crazy when it's some kid on the west side, right? Nobody cares.

Yeah. Nobody gives a shit. It's just like, I don't fucking know. But I also think that that's kind of an inevitable byproduct of the fact of our humanity like you know i mean if somebody kills somebody in my fucking inner circle it just means more it just means more yep we got an interesting message from bill and now i'm going to summarize bill's message but bill uh was not technically a legal concealed carry at the time, but he was carrying a gun around with him. And, and it was, it was when he was living in a place

that was not terribly safe to live. He was inside of a convenience store and some guy just started beating the shit out of somebody else, almost killing him, essentially just like ready to kill this guy. Might've killed him. We don't actually know no you don't know the end of the story might have killed him he was asking for like a like a lid of something to like smash this guy's hat i mean it was just like this really awful scene he starts to pull out his gun to maybe save this guy and the guy beating the guy up on the ground um looks at him and says that bitch guy had something to say and the woman goes no he's got a gun and he's like you know what i did then i fucking pushed open the emergency

exit and ran with my ex in the car and got the fuck out of there before the cops show up sorry y'all are on your own and it's it's so funny because it's like he doesn't want to kill anybody you know what i mean like here's a guy who's almost ready to kill somebody else. And in our class, they even said if someone – if you are preventing the grievous bodily harm of someone else, you have the – you don't have the obligation, but you have the opportunity to step in and try to help and save someone. What a weird situation that would be where someone is fighting someone else and you're like, yeah, I mean they could fucking kill him right now. A grown man punching someone in the head multiple times is not a good day and in this circumstance he's about to take the fucking cover off a helium tank and brain the dude and smash the dude's face so but it does speak to the idea that you know i'm not a

killer yeah i've killed exactly zero people so if i'm ever confronted with those circumstances whether or not i'll be able to overcome you know 38 years of not killing people i know seems fucking unlikely that would be really weird right interesting story though bill thanks for sending in absolutely uh our podcast is on iheart radio now it is also on spotify for mobile users and it's uh and it's available on stitcher and a bunch of other places we We just want to let people know that there's many ways to consume the podcast. We got a bunch of messages about Patreon's

new app. A lot of people are having some issues with it. I did not have any issues with it. I tried it this weekend. What I did was download in Wi-Fi, though. So you download the one show. You have to replace the other show that's in there. I downloaded in Wi-Fi, though, and played it, and it seemed to work fine for me uh but i i heard there was some complaints with things

skipping forward and backward and that was a little difficult uh i'm sure the pay the podcast app is so much more smooth this is the first gen of this so i suspect that as time goes on they're going to get their shit together but my suggestion is if you have any problems with patreon at all whatever the problem is period doesn't matter what it is there's a submit site a help desk submit site on their website go there and use it use it like crazy if you want them to have a protected rss feed let them know that let them know that every other week be like i pay a lot of money to patreon i want to let them know that i want a protected rss feed specifically through patreon so far they've been very i mean they haven't been super fast on the things that they've done but they have followed through with a lot of the things that have been asked for and the more complaints they get the better off it's going to be for you guys so

be vocal with them so uh that's going to wrap it up for this week. We want to thank AJ Shalom from Foundation Beyond Belief for coming on and talking about Foundation Beyond Belief. You can find out more about their organization at foundationbeyondbelief.org. They have lots of great giving opportunities. So check them out if you want to do some humanist giving. That's going to wrap it up for this week. And're going to leave you with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized. Stereogram pyramidal free energy healing.

Water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch. Late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces cancer cures. Detox reflex foot massage. Death in towers tarot cards. Psychic healing crystal balls. Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens. Churches, mosques, and synagog Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential conclusive doubt even this the opinions and views expressed in this show are that of the hosts only our poorly formed and expressed notions do not represent those of our wives

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