Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 311: Rock It Awake

Episode Date: August 22, 2016

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Okay, okay, okay. The Kentucky incest thing is real, I swear to God. I used to work in personnel in the Indiana National Guard, and we had all kinds of soldiers coming in from Kentucky. And you figure when I was doing this and how old they were, so 40 years ago, Kentucky birth certificates said, in the birth certificate, there's a phrase that said, are the mother and father related? And if so, how? It's real. It's expected. Glory holes. Hello there, A. It's Shane Collins from Calgary, Canada. I've been listening to you guys since

almost the beginning, and I'm so worried I didn't call sooner. I was just thinking back of my Orion eggnog and thought there's no good to do it. Those guys are better than a hockey game with a Grand Royal Center, eh? Sorry, holy hooser. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence

to any topic that makes the news, it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this episode shitty band 311 it is that band sucks that band does God, that's a fucking shit band. They had that once. They had a couple of songs that they would play on the radio all the time. This was when I was much, much younger because the band, they're probably all dead at this point. They're probably all dead. They're as dead as Glenn Miller at this point.

Jesus. Glenn Miller. They're as dead as Dave Brubeck. Hey, baby, you want to take a swing out of the net hey doll hey big kicks you ever heard of take five take five is that by the day certainly is you know if you know anything about jazz if you know anything about jazz you know take five you know take five you've heard it before but uh much better than 311 i remember these everything's better than they played the shit out of those songs they did going up 311 is like there was that one song where he god how does it

go it's like something about your energy where something about your energy oh god it's so bad shit is fucking awful oh you know it like this is like talking about like karma or something i don't even remember but but it was terrible. It was the worst. It's like getting fucking blown by Ramtha. It's worse than that, actually, because Ramtha's got some technique. I'd finish on her face. She takes her teeth out.

I'd finish on her 10,000-year-old face. Oh, shit. But 311's sublime. You know what I mean? Is that the same band? Did I mess up? I don't know. I don't know. Like, they're the same garbage category of shit music.

Now I need to know. Hold on a second. I might have messed up because that might have been sublime. Let me just double check. They're so bad. Do not play this song. Hold on. What the fuck is wrong with you?

No, it's just... Oh, it's that part. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That hurts. It's so bad.

Can't you play something more soothing like the death rattle of my only child? That's terrible. God. Or the judge reading your divorce letter over and over and over again. That was the sweetest music I ever heard. That's awesome. We may have one or two people that found our show from the last show that we did.

So the last show that we did was with Michael Wood Jr. We didn't mention it. We didn't mention it. Is he David Smalley's friend? Yes, David Smalley's friend. And so we didn't mention it. But anyway, the people that found us Yes, David Smalley's friend. And so we didn't mention it. But anyway, the people that found us through that, they might be thinking that this is like an interview show.

But that's kind of not what we do really at all. So this is it. Welcome. This is just the two of us. Here we go. You can barely stomach it. No, really. It's not going to be fun for you.

That's a warning I frequently give right before. I'm like, really. It's not going to be fun for you. That's a warning I frequently give right before. I'm like, hey, this isn't going to be fun for you. It's like pain-al. I brought this for you to bite down on. It's really not going to be fun. Yeah. Yeah, just press your head into the pillow. No, honey, I don't use lube.

Oh, God. I just use hope. And she's honey, I don't use lube. Oh, God. I just use hope. And she's like, I hoped you had lube. That's terrible. She's not going to feel it. Are you kidding? Oh, God. Are you going to start?

Start, baby. I finished. Again? Sure. I need like five, ten minutes. I'm going to phone a friend. That's terrible. All right.

It's better than polling the audience. You don't want to poll the audience like, what did you guys think? No? No. No? Yeah. East Germany gave me a three. Everybody's holding up less than one.

It's the Olympics. They're just burning their placards. They won't even hold a number on it. They're all infecting themselves with Zika as fast as they can get it. According to a recent poll, 49.3% of the people in New York believe that our leaders knew the 9-11 attacks were planned and that they intentionally failed to act. Are 49.3% of us just fucking crazy? This is Rudy Giuliani. Now, we have a little disagreement on what he's intending here. Why don't we play it first?

Let's play the clip. Let's play it first. Play the clip. This has been going all over the internet, though. A lot of people have been commenting about this. This is Rudy Giuliani on Right Wing Watch. We're going to let his own words hang him. He says no terrorist attacks occurred during the Bush administration. Mike Pence understands this. This is Rudy Giuliani on Right Wing Watch. We're going to let his own words hang him. He says, no terrorist attacks occurred during the Bush administration.

Mike Pence understands this. I would argue Mike Pence understands very little. He certainly doesn't understand basic economics of his state. Let's go there. Well, depressingly, though, Indiana's doing better than Illinois. In like every other, in every conceivable, measurable category.

Right, but we got Rauner. You know what I mean? It's not like it's going to get In like every other and every conceivable measurable category. Right, but we got Rauner. I know. You know what I mean? It's not like it's going to get any better. It's not. It's so bad. I certainly wouldn't trade a Rauner for a Pence. Well, I mean, come on, dude.

It's like, oh, what do you want to have, diarrhea or vomiting? I don't know. I don't know. Is there a way I could develop a rash i just like can i spin can i spin the fucking the medical side effects wheel and hopefully land on fucking soreness in the back of my throat is there any way i can get that is appendicitis an option can i have all i want is the one where they put you under you wake up and you just eat a bunch of ice cream whatever that one is i want that's the one i want that one. That's the one. I want that one.

That's actually how I want to live my whole life. I sleep, I wake up, I eat ice cream. Every day you get anesthetized, and you wake up, and they just force feed you ice cream until you get anesthetized again. You just wake up, you're like, my heart hurts. Give me ice cream. It's like the life of a foie gras goose, you know? Why is that a bad life?

It's not a bad life. Why is that a bad life? I love that a bad life. Why is that a bad life? I love that life. Just use that point of your tongue. I already have a fatty liver. To force the food into my gob. From his time both on the Foreign Affairs Committee, from his very, very timely visit, which I remember, to Ground Zero. Okay, hold on.

Let's talk about how timely visits. Did he show up right as it was happening? He probably heard about it just like the rest of us and then showed up. That's like saying like, hey, man, I really appreciate your timely visit to my dad's funeral. Yeah, it's fucking. It's like literally the least I can do. Like, if I don't do that, that makes me a bad guy. Yeah, right.

It's like, hey, man, something kind of tragic happened to my family. Huh? Well, I'll be there to comfort you in about six to eight weeks. What? What are you kidding me? It's not like this guy had to plan this into his phone once in advance. Hang on a minute. I can't cancel any plans for 9-11.

For fucking 9-11. I'd love to come, but my kid has a recital. Yeah, right? When we were in desperate need of help, he was there. But what did he do? What did he do? He just fucking showed up. He just showed up.

He might have moved a brick. Like, what the fuck did the guy do? He didn't show up. He's not a fireman, right? He fucking inhaled a bunch of dust like the rest of them. Hey, man, I'm Mike Pence. Can I help? The difference is that if he develops cancer, the rest of them. Hey, man, I'm Mike Pence. Can I help? The difference is that if he develops cancer, he'll have coverage.

Oh, no. He didn't get close enough to develop cancer. That's true. No, he is a cancer. He just develops himself. And from his work on Judiciary Committee. He couldn't say it. Everyone's work on what did he do, Trump?

Did he do anything at a time before he said he hated gay people? Was there anything else he did? And helping to fashion the Patriot Act. By the way, under those eight years, before Obama came along, we didn't have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States.

During the eight years before Obama came along, we didn't have any radical... Go. What about 9-11? Did you miss that one when you were literally the governor of the state?

Mayor. Mayor of the city. Sorry, of the city where it happened. That's the only important city in that state anyway. It doesn't matter. Nobody cares about the rest of New York. Nobody cares about the rest of New York. Nobody cares about the rest of New York.

People say you live in New York. They think you live in the city. And if you say, oh, no, I live in like fucking Stenactody or whatever. People just look at you like that doesn't seem like a place. So New York, right? Like where the garbage is in the streets and the. Where the garbage juice flows in. Where the garbage is in the streets and the pizza is floppy and flows in the... Where the garbage is in the streets

and the pizza's floppy and flaccid. New York, New York. It's pretty good, actually. So I want to argue the case for Rudy Giuliani. Okay, all right. Rudy Giuliani, I think, here is referring to after the Patriot Act has come into place, and he's saying there wasn't any major terrorist attacks after Pence helped pen the Patriot Act has come into place. And he's saying there wasn't any major terrorist attacks

after Pence helped pen the Patriot Act, which was from the time that it was penned and put into law until Obama took office in January of 2009, seven years, five months. So I think he's rounding up when he shouldn't be, but I don't think that he's saying that 9-11 didn't happen because he literally just mentioned 9-11.

I don't think he's saying 9-11 didn't happen either. I think he's just speaking so poorly. And the idea, I actually have a hard time understanding how he's even, because when he says it, what he says is in the eight years before Obama, we didn't have any radical Islamic terrorist attacks. But that's true, though.

We fucking had the biggest one. Isn't that true, though? No, it's not true. No. It's seven and a half years. It's seven and a half years. It's literally the biggest, bestest one, like the most much one. I think he's rounding up i think it's fucking he's

trying to blame obama no as if obama i don't think he's not blaming him for 9-11 i think what he's doing is he's trying to say that we are less safe under a democratic regime right maybe that's true and and that's an absurd concept because under the fucking prior dude, you had 3,000 people annihilated, right? And then what do we have under Obama? We had a couple of – I mean a handful here and there. Blips here and there. But the thing is you got to understand like I think he's arguing and saying, yeah, we kind of fucked up but we fixed it. Oh, I see what you mean.

So, OK. All right. No, I understand. We passed the fucking Patriot Act. And then it worked for... And then it's fucking amazing, dude, because Patriots are great. They act. That's the thing. Before, the Patriots couldn't act.

Then we sent them to Juilliard. Fuckers can act up a storm. There is a little more of this. I just want to play it to make sure that we're on the right track. All right. They all started when Clinton and Obama got into office. Okay. They didn't all start there.

I will say that. They started a long time ago. With the U.S. coal bombing. You know what I mean? Like there was a lot of – I mean maybe it wasn't on our soil, but at the same time there's been a lot of terrorist attacks against the United States. They didn't just start then. Well, it's like getting fucking worked up about Benghazi as if Benghazi was the first embassy.

It's this selective reading of history. And Obama didn't repeal the Patriot Act. The Patriot Act's still a thing. So if the Patriot Act was your big shining example of like... The Patriot Act is the reason why everything's safe. Right. So it'd be like saying, look, somebody broke into my house and they stole all my shit and then i put this awesome lock on my door oh okay it must be a really good lock oh it's an awesome lock nobody's

broken into my door since then well then then later they broke in again well did you change the lock is there a different lock no same lock same lock on the door but just somebody else was whole they just didn't see on my TV. They only stole my rings. Right. Yeah. They're like, well, then the lock didn't fix the problem, you stupid shit. I'm actually pointing at the door while I'm making this analogy.

You are pointing at the door. I'm just making analogies of whatever's in my life. You aren't just pointing at the door. You are gesturing wildly. I am gesturing wildly. I get very excited. Abortions for all. Very well.

No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others. It's a story also from Right Wing Watch. Basically, all these stories are from Right Wing Watch. They do such a good job of compiling good audio clips, though. Anti-abortion group wants to accost Clinton with actual unborn children at campaign events.

So this is Mark Harrington. He's the head of the anti-abortion rights group called Created Equal. But let's be real clear here. In this, he makes sure to mention that he's not doing it based on that. But I want to talk about that when he mentions it because then he immediately says something funny.

Hi, Mark Harrington here, coming to you from the Hillary Clinton campaign stop here in Columbus, Ohio. Is she playing Roar? I'm gonna hear me roar. Is that the name of that song? Yeah, it's awesome. I masturbated to a bunch of times, but I don't know the name of the song.

It's normally down. Normally, the volume's down, so I don't know. I've listened to all of Katy Perry's music carefully. Yeah, no. I mean, I've seen all her videos a lot in slow motion, but I but i didn't i i i think i recognize that song yeah hold on don't let me play my ringtone okay can you imagine hold on it's like can you imagine it's like a hetero dude in the world walking around your phone goes off and it's fucking roar the worst part is is that it's like like pavlog's dog i get a boner

i'm just i'm just so used to wanking it to this song all of a sudden you're like back in dog, I'd get a boner. I'm just so used to wanking it to the song. All of a sudden, you're like back in sixth grade. You're just like, oh, sorry. I don't know. There was a light breeze and I got hard immediately. I just had my wife call me all the time. Can you call me? And can you wear this name tag that says Katie?

Katie Perry. Honest. So, Tom, what is it like being divorced? Because I'm going to know that real soon. It's going to be, yeah. It's freeing. You're free to eat cereal over the sink or cry yourself to sleep. I mean, you're free to do whatever you want.

As she's touring the Midwest with her vice presidential candidate, Tim Kaine. As you can see the crowd behind me gathering for the rally. I'm here to announce a new project. And this is not as the national director of created equal. This is not a created equal project. This is the best. He went out of his way to be like, Oh, hold on. Just saying.

It's like, I've been, hold on a minute. Cause I don't want to lose my funding. I just want to say to everybody, yeah, I can't, whatever it is, I can't say it out loud. I can't say I'm against Hillary Clinton, because I'm totally not. But I don't like that she does bad. But then the best part is what he's going to say right here. Itself, and that is because we do not support or oppose political candidates for elective office. I'll be doing this as a private citizen.

And the plan is this. My plan is that for me and those I direct under my direction across the country. Wait a minute. If you're a private citizen, who do you direct? Right. In what capacity? I love that he goes out of his way to secure his IRS tax-exempt status as a church leader, right? He's a church leader.

He can't support or comment really on political candidacy. And so he's like, okay, I'm not doing it. But as a private citizen, me and the people I direct, as a private citizen, I don't direct anybody. The only time I can act in a role where I'm directing people is if I'm your boss or I'm a leadership position. You have a movie you're making. Or if you're the pastor of a church, for example. To personally present

presidential candidate Hillary Clinton with an unborn baby before November 8th. Where do we get them? What's weird about that is that you essentially have an unborn baby so you're willing to sacrifice at least one you're willing to at least say okay hey buddy you got to take one for the team sorry man here's the thing we got to have you take one for the team i know you're unborn and you really can't hear me and i communicate but we're gonna have to reach up

there pull you out maybe with a coat hanger i don't know we got choices and and also to be honest we've kind of got to mangle you a little oh jesus i mean look nobody's if it's a perfectly pristine little baby nobody's gonna tug the heartstring is bad but if it's arms hanging off by a string that's a big deal you know i mean how does he think this works like a woman goes in and gets an abortion and she comes out with a doggy bag the worst part the worst part is actually shipping these things around the only way you can do it is through amazon prime but that's only if it's your first born and that's the only way it'll do it where did you think everyone's gonna come up with all these unborn babies i don't know like you're like you're behind thearenthood, like diving in the dumpster. You're holding one up.

We're making fun of him. He really is just talking about signs. He's just talking about signs, though. Wait a minute. This one's still good. It's not past its expiration date. Best if born by. Admittedly, once you break the seal, everyone's past its desperation.

Refrigerate after opening. It's like a beer. It's got a born on date. Oh, Jesus Christ. And like a beer, it can smell a little sour. Just so you know, we're never getting elected to anything oh my god for the show i can't let anyone i know ever listen i just want to say though real quick like like he's clearly talking about signs he's not talking about a real baby right right right is he is he commanding all of his underlings to fucking shit out babies early?

Is that what he's doing? I wouldn't put anything past these guys at all. Maybe he's just hoping one of them will have a miscarriage and they can scoop it up with a fishnet out of the toilet. He's got one of those little skimmers. Honey, can you get the spider? No, I need the one we use when we deep fry. I need that one. Throw a little cheesecloth on it.

I don't think I'm going to get it all. I don't want to lose any of the cheese. Oh, and can you bring the plunger? I don't want this anymore. Yeah, put the plumber on speed dial. No, this is definitely going to clog up the pipes for sure. Yeah, no, no, it's not going to be pretty in there. Yeah, bring the Febreze.

No, I don't want to name it. Call her to defend the unborn. You understand there's a history with the Clintons, right? The Clintons for decades have been her and her husband. That is, Mrs. Clinton and her husband. Oh, we fucking knew who you were talking about. We didn't think it was Chelsea. What the fuck are you talking about? Her and her husband, that is, Mrs. Clinton and her husband. Oh, we fucking knew who you were talking about. We didn't think it was Chelsea. Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Her and her husband. Oh, wait, there was a Mr. Clinton, too? Fucking George Clinton? It was from him? The fucking all-stars? What the fuck? Had been vocal supporters, probably the most outspoken supporters of abortion killing in the United States.

As First Lady, as U.S. Senate representative from... Senator. The word you're looking for is senator. Women can be senators, you idiot. And senator. You fucking nincompoop. Love the suit. And senate girl person.

Like, he seriously paused. He's like, what do you call a... A senate woman? Like, what do you call a Senate woman? Like what do you call a lady senator? Senator, you stupid asshole. You're so misogynist you can't even get there. New York and as Secretary of State and now the nominee for the Democrat

Party for President, she has been a vocal supporter of late term abortion, infanticide. Infanticide? No one is a fan of infanticide. Well, you could argue that in the Bible they bash babies' heads on rocks. They do. And God did kill all the babies during Noah's Ark.

Well, that's very true. Would that be infanticide? It would be if it had happened, which it, of course, did not. And then there's, of course, the Abraham story, right? No, but they didn't kill the baby, though. It was a walk-in kid at that point. Oh, you're right. That's not infanticide.

That's just murder. It's just straight up murder. It's murder in his heart, Tom. He never actually killed him because God said, take these back. I know, right? That's such a terrible story. Now with the Democrat Party platform including tax

funding for abortion and the repeal of the Hyde Amendment, clearly this is the most extreme candidate that we've ever seen on the presidential scene. Oh, God, he's so boring. Oh, my God, I'm yawning. I'm so bored. This guy sounds super fun. Can you imagine hanging out with this guy? Incumbent on those who claim the name of Christ to be a prophetic witness to call her out for her support of child killing. That's why I and the others I will direct will be attempting

to personally confront Mrs. Clinton with the victims of abortion. I'm under no illusion this is going to be easy. And we do this, we'll do it lawfully. We'll do it civilly. And we won't disrupt or rally our events. But we'll be looking for opportunities to gently but firmly request that she help stop the slaughter of unborn children by showing her the victims themselves. Why do you care that she's – you don't want her in the office anyway. You don't want her to help stop that. You don't – I think maybe – Yeah.

You think maybe he's trying to change her heart you think maybe like i'll be the one actually playing devil's advocate in this position like maybe he thinks he can change her mind and change her heart like here's a dead baby the problem is that every single one of those pictures i've never seen one that's like this is a real baby it's all like when you look it up it's like yeah that's that that was not that's not a fucking abortion well right that's for sure like you see those like protesters and they're holding up those awful fucking images that are just like, here's something unbelievably traumatic to just drive by on the highway. And you're like, none of that shit, none of it, none of it is actually like actual abortion photos. You're absolutely right. But I – part of me thinks that he's suggesting that they hand him a baby.

But part of me thinks that he's suggesting that they hand him a baby. Like here is like a little like a fucking mason jar with like a little dead baby floating in it. I think it's only creepy if they bring it in a stroller. Oh, Jesus. Oh, fucking rotten down and everything. Jesus, man. In a stroller? All right, I'm done.

I don't. I'm sorry. I don't... I'm sorry. I don't want to even have this... I'm sorry. ...fucking... Burn the tape. I'm not sorry. Burn the tape. It's only creepy when they try to rock it to sleep.

Jesus. No, it sleeps very easily. It does. It's creepier when they try to rock it awake. No, I have. Oh, shit. It's still good. It's still good.

Okay. Okay. Okay. No, no, no. No, no, no. I said a bunch of crazy shit, Tom. You win. I don't want to do this anymore. You win.

You're a good baby, aren't you? Oh, here comes the choo-choo. Open your mouth. You got to reattach the chomp. She's just pressing it to her breast. It's not doing anything at all. It's just a smear at that point. That's so gross.

You're a monster. Want to contact the guys? Go to DissonancePod.com to get links to their Google+, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. If you want to contact them directly, send an email to Dissonance.Podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Do you want to support the show? Go to patreon.com. That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com forward slash dissonance pod.

Or click the link on the podcast homepage, and you can donate to the production of Cognitive Dissonance on a per episode basis. If you can't spare any money, take a second to give us a five star review on iTunes or Stitcher or spread the word about the show. We want to send a big heartfelt glory hold to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story is from Right Wing Watch. This is a Trump story. We've got a couple of Trump stories. This guy is detonating his own – he is destroying his candidacy. Did you see – He's so wonderful at this point. Did you see what the human blob Michael Moore wrote this week?

He wrote – No, you sent me the thing before. It was like he's going to win and I cried and I cried. No, no. This is different. This is Michael Moore, best candidate ever for bariatric surgery. He sent – he wrote a piece about how Trump never thought he was ever going to get this far and he only did it for negotiating his TV series, hoping that he could... That was his speculation.

That's amazing. And now he's trying to sabotage himself because he doesn't want to do it. Imagine turning him into a more sexist, more racist type... And I'm not saying... I'm just saying... More?

So take Trump, and his tiny little hand smacks the ass more racist type and i'm not saying i'm not saying i'm not i'm just saying more like so take take trump and his tiny little hand smacks the ass of some one of his one of his aides sure and he comes out in blackface oh my god you know what i mean like i don't think that he would go down in his polls in his polls i don't think so the people that have decided that they're pro trump they're in love with this guy because finally they've got like a racist in chief, right? They're able to say like, I fucking, I also hate people of color. Finally, somebody speaks for me, you know?

I don't think all people, but I think that there are a lot of people. I think that there's a, you know, I think there's a few people that might not be, I don't know that they're, that they're racist per se, but I think that there's people that see immigration as a problem. Sure. Maybe they're a little xenophobic. Maybe there's some people out there that just want to see a change in Washington, period, away from a politician. Okay, so fine. You're right.

There are definitely people who are just anti-establishment generally. But geez, sure. You know, it's – but geez, man. I think that this is – you know, this is the wrong way to – in my opinion, to be anti-establishment. I think that there probably was an anti-establishment candidate that might have been better off with Bernie, in my opinion, would have been a lot better than this. A lot better. This feels like pulling the pin on a grenade. Yeah, I mean this is – While it's inserted in your ass.

You know what I mean like this is yeah it's it's it's seeing a spider in your house and burning down the whole neighborhood burning down america right you're like ah spider you're fucking throwing flares yeah exactly yeah you basically said you know what i just give up on the whole thing is there any way we could start a brush fire that starts in New York and ends in California? It's unbelievable. This is the Second Amendment remedies to stop Hillary Clinton. There's a bunch of these we're going to play in a row, though. Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish

the Second Amendment. By the way, and if she gets to pick... As President Hillary will expand background checks, take on the gun lobby, removing the industry's sweeping legal protection for illegal and irresponsible actions, and revoking license from dealers to break the law, keep guns out of the hands of domestic abusers, other violent criminals, and the severely mentally ill. And that's it. That's totally all as far as I'm concerned. That's on her website.

Yeah. as far as I'm concerned. It's on her website. Yeah. I mean, I suspect that she's saying they shouldn't have... She says at the top, I believe weapons of war have no place in our streets,

so I suspect that there's some level of... She's referring probably to assault weapons. Assault weapon type things. Yeah, right. Which, again, is not a perfect distinction. We know we're going to get email like, there is no such thing as an assault. We understand, but I'm thinking of

carbine type rifles, things like that. You know what I mean? We're reading between the lines about what she's suggesting. Yeah, I don't even know exactly. He's saying abolish. That doesn't sound accurate. Yeah, well, because he's making that up. And also, a president cannot abolish an amendment.

Yeah. There's a process for— There's a big, long process. It's just like when Pence said, we're going to overtone Roe versus Wade. How are you going to do that? Well, you can if you get – like Ginsburg drops dead and you appoint three judges or something. Sure. And then the right case comes up through the system.

But the right case has to come up through the system. And they would have to babysit a case through the system to get it up and agree to have it taken. It would actually have to make it to them. Right. Which it might not, right, depending on the judges. Right. It would have to make it all him. Right. Which it might not. Right. Depending on the judges. Right. Depends on it. I have to make it all the way through the appellate court.

Yeah. Right. It would have to, I have to make it there first so that you can't, you can't just say we would, cause you're like, that's not how this works. And that's,

and that's the whole point I was trying to make. Right. Is it the president doesn't have, no matter who it is, doesn't have unilateral powers of discretion. There there's executive actions that they can take for sure. But with respect to things like amendments, there's executive actions that they can take for sure, but with respect to things like amendments, there's no...

Amendments and case law that is currently... You can't just walk in and be like, hey guys, you know that thing you did with gay marriage? That's not a thing anymore. We don't have an emperor, right? It's not an emperor. If she gets to pick her judges,

nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I don't know. He's making a joke. It's a bad joke and it's an off-color joke and it's not a presidential joke. And I think he's not – I don't think – here's the problem. He is making a joke, but he's making a joke to a wide enough audience of people that it is not unreasonable to think that there could be somebody who's unhinged. Yeah, and an arguably volatile group of people too. So you've got a group of people that is – it's wide enough. He's casting a wide enough net with a joke like that and making a joke in terms like that that are not terribly clear that that's a joke.

And like you said, it's not presidential. You kind of shouldn't joke about potentially assassinating somebody. I think you can do that. I think that that's actually really, really frowned upon because we can't even say anything like that on our show. We would not be able to say like, I'm not going to say it, but like, you know,

to say, threaten Barack Obama's life or something. But I'll tell you what, that will be a horrible day. If, if Hillary gets to put her judges right now, we're tied. You see what's going on. We're tied.

Cause Scalia, this was not supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to die. Yeah. It wasn't supposed to happen. There was a, what is there? Is there a plan of succession? Yeah.

Well, let me tell you something. You know, who's going to argue that fact? Scalia's heart. Right. Scalia's fucking widow. Yeah. There's no way that you could look at a man like Scalia and be like, oh, really surprised he didn't make it even longer.

Right. Jesus Christ. He was surprised he could make it to the subway. I'm surprised he could ride an escalator. Are you fucking kidding me? Justice Scalia was going to be around for 10 more years at least. Why do you say that? Where does that come from?

Where does that come from? We put another good 10 years. That's like being surprised that your car broke down. Be like, ah, it's only at 100,000. I thought I'd get 150 out of it. Motherfucker was 80 years old. And we were going to get another 10 years out of him? He was fucking

almost 80. I mean, almost 80. He made it like one month. He's 79 and a half. And Trump thinks you're going to get another squeeze, another 10 years out of the guy? The guy's 90 years old? He's fucking 80 years old. I guess I'll retire now. 80 years old, fucking 100 pounds overweight. Fucking

doesn't look like he's fucking lifted anything heavier than a pen in 50 years. And we're surprised. He's the kind of guy that his fat folds fit into his robe. Where the robe is a little tight. And you're like, how the fuck is a justice robe a little tight on you? Right.

This is a guy who's fucking bathrobed. The little cinch around thing gets lost in between. Like you find it about a week later. you're like, how the fuck is a justice robe a little tight on you? Right. This is a guy who's fucking bathrobed. The little cinch around thing gets lost in between. Like you find it about a week later. You're like, ah. Jesus Christ. It's the kind of kid that holds his grandkid and it starts nursing. This is Donald Trump talking about voting and evangelicals. So I'm going to play this.

This is great. And I want you to pay attention to this. Just pay attention to how he talks. It's amazing. I know. He sounds like a third grader. He sounds like a third grader. He sounds like an imbecile.

He really sounds like an imbecile. When I listened to this, I was listening to this in the car. I listened to this and I thought, my son is going into fourth grade. If my son were this inarticulate, I would hold him back. I would hold my son back from transferring. You'd quit your job and teach him. I would have to. Somebody would.

Somebody would. Or we'd have to fucking institutionalize him. That is a great way to put it, inarticulate. This is a guy who part of his job, were he to become president, would be to be articulate. His job, his actual wake-up-and-go-to-work-everyday job would be to articulate our position as a nation and negotiate and be diplomatic and engage in dialogue with leaders of the rest of the world. Literally being articulate is the least he has to bring to the table in order to have this job. Could you imagine this guy giving a speech where he has to console a family that lost someone in like a terror attack? Oh, my God.

It wasn't great. It wasn't great. It wasn't great. It could have been more great. We could have been involved a little more. You know what I mean? I just feel like this guy just... It was very bad. Very bad.

I can't imagine. The bad thing was bad. It was a bad thing. The bad happened. Him consoling it. Yeah. And that's just one part of the job. There's many other parts of the job.

That's just one that I just... I cannot imagine him doing. So let's listen to him. Here's Trump talking about getting into heaven. If you get everybody out to vote in Florida and if you get everybody out to vote in like Virginia,

like Pennsylvania, like Ohio. Why is he saying like before all the states that he lists? He says if you get everybody out to Florida and then he moves on to states like Pennsylvania, like Ohio.

What is the state like Pennsylvania? What's the state like Ohio? The state of despair, I think, is probably the one that I would go with. I don't know any other ones. And some of the other states. And some of the other ones. If you get everybody out to vote in the states nearby, the states I mentioned, I can't think of the other states. And some of the other ones. If you get everybody out to vote in the states nearby,

the states I mentioned, I can't think of very many states. I'm not sure what their capitals are. Wouldn't it be interesting? Because I don't know the capitals of all the states, but it would be awesome to hand him and Hillary Clinton a map of the United States. A map and have them fill it in? And geography class have to. That would be fucking amazing.

He would just write America across the whole thing. I wonder. It's United States of America. I filled it out. Now, I know with some of the eastern seaboard states, I would probably fuck up a few of them. Oh, I wouldn't get it right either. No, no.

I mean, like once you get up into that Delaware-ish region, like I would just circle the whole thing and write New England. Yeah, exactly. There's a couple of them I'd be like, is that a Connecticut or a New Hampshire? I don't know. And there's plenty of states I'd forget.

We got an email from someone from Maryland, and I was like, oh, there's a Maryland. I forgot about that. Sure. I think some of the bigger ones that are off to the left are breezy. But then you might start moving over to the right. There's a lot of smaller states. It's a little harder.

The left. The left. The left. The left coast. But I would be curious to see what either one of them would do on a map like that. How well would you know that map? Because I fucking guarantee Clinton would fucking. She would destroy that by comparison.

She would fucking, yeah. By comparison. She'd roll that map up and fuck it. Or at least Florida. Especially the ones that are really the pivotal states. We will win. Yeah, if you get all the swing states,

you'll win. Here's how it works, guys. If I get more electoral votes than my opponent... Even the fucking 538 guy would have fucking agreed with you there. What was that guy's name? Nate Silver?

Nate Silver would fucking be like, yeah, okay. What an amazing... As it stands right now, if the election happened now or then, you're losing by... A trillion points. All the points. A trillion points. He's essentially dug himself a hole that he cannot get out of. Nate Silver, last time I looked at it, was like 78% Clinton.

You will see things happen with... For the evangelicals, you will see things happen for the evangelicals. You will see things happen that you wouldn't believe in. He doesn't even name what they are. You'll see things happen. You won't believe them. They'll be bad, not good. You wouldn't believe?

What, like the rapture? What are we talking about here? Plus, these are evangelicals. They'll believe anything. That's their thing. That's true. That's their claim to fame. Exactly. That's what they love. They'll believe anything. That's their thing. That's true. That's their claim to fame. Exactly.

That's what they love. They love believing things. They're like, believe? I don't even care what it is. Fuck, I don't even know what it is. I don't know anything about it. I'll believe it right now. I'll believe it sight unseen.

You don't even have to say what it is that I believe it. There's a red man with goat legs and a pitchfork, and he tells us to eat sugar. Yes, absolutely. That guy loves it. There's a red man with goat legs and a pitchfork, and he tells us to eat sugar. Yes, absolutely. That guy loves it. Sounds reasonable. We are really most important for religion. You're going to see things. For religion. He's just pandering

so hard. He's pandering so hard. For religion. He's going to clarify the religions in a second, but he's certainly not talking about Islam. Right, I know, but he panders so hard he could work up a sweat doing it. He's fucking amazing at it. All religions. All religions? All religions, Don? All religions? Let's hear.

So important. So I hope you can spread the word on November 8th. I hope you can get everybody out. And before then, you know, they have early ballots. Especially in Florida. They have them especially? What's their specialty? 8th, I hope you can get everybody out. And before then, you know, they have early ballots. Especially in Florida. They have them especially? What's the especially? Why would they especially? And he's saying that because they're really old in Florida and nobody can even leave. I gotta give

you guys enough lead time. Actually, is there any way we can get fucking Saul Goodman to go deliver them to fucking any of the old folks homes? Can he smuggle them in his fucking hat? You either have early voting or you don't have early voting. You can't have it more much. But we really like it in Florida.

Right? Because we're old. And we can't actually get to the polls. That's amazing. Because of our age. Age. They have early ballots, and you can sign hundreds of thousands of early ballots for people that

can't get out to vote. No shit. That's what early ballot is for, dude. You don't have to explain it. They know what it is. They're all old. For just about everybody. And whatever you can do, I would appreciate.

I say pray for me. I pray for you. I would appreciate I say pray for me I pray for you but I want to just say that whatever you can do this will be

an election that will go down in the history books every election goes into the history books even the one Mondale was in the history books the one Dukakis is in we recognize that those ones went down in the history books. The one Dukakis is in.

We recognize that those ones went down in the history books, too. Yeah, they write it down every time somebody becomes president. Someone will write it down, Don. Hey, who's the next one? Did anyone write that down? Nobody paid attention. Nobody really paid attention when Donald Trump became czar of America. Nobody paid attention to that.

And for evangelicals, for the Christians, for the everybody. For the everybody. For the everybody. I've only named two things. One, of course, is in the Venn diagram of the other, right? It's like big circle, little circle. I love all the hamburgers and the Whoppers. I love all of the ground meats.

Right. It's amazing of the ground meats. Right. It's amazing. And taco meat. And sloppy Joe. This man can't be any, cannot be the leader of a thing. How is he the leader of a thing? Nacho meat. God, he's an inarticulate bastard.

Spaghetti meat. He's like that bubblegum shrimp guy. Spaghetti meat. He's like that bubblegum shrimp guy. He's like the guy from that movie with the dogs where he's like... Oh, yeah, that best in show. Macadamia nut. Green macadamia nut. Red pistachio nut.

Red pistachio nut. For everybody of religion, this will be maybe the most important election that our country's ever had. So go out and spread the word. And once I get in, I will do my thing that I do very well. I'll do my thing. I do it good. I'm a thing doer. Thinging is what I do. Doing is what I think. I will do the thing that I do very well. I'll do my thing. I do it good. I'm a thing doer. Thinging is what I do.

Doing is what I think. I will do the thing that I do very well. This is amazing. Oh, thank God, Donald. Thank you so much. As if somebody... Because I was worried. I was so worried, Don,

that you weren't going to do the thing that you do well. I thought you were going to do the thing you do badly. And you were going to do that while you were in the office. But now I'm reassured that you're going to do the thing you do well and you were going to do that while you're in the office but now i'm reassured that you're going to do the thing you do well which is get divorced and then later hit on my daughter yeah he's such a creepy dude but he is creepy i'm going to do the

thing that i do very well that's the sentence he chose to use in a persuasive argument and i figure it's probably maybe the only way i'm going to get to heaven so i better be a good kid okay that's just a joke that's just i know it's just a joke at the end i don't care about that one that's the part that i don't care about it's funny that that's what right wing watch leads off with and it's that it's clearly a joke it's clearly him joking around it's a fucking it's made to get a laugh out of the audience and it worked and it worked yeah it got a lot and and and and that's the thing that they lit off with what about the part that he's so fucking inarticulate he's gonna do the thing that he does so well and the fucking kid in office

what about that that's terrifying right wing. Get out of the fucking ball. That's scary as shit, man. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want that guy? No. Fuck. Like, are you kidding me? This is a guy who is going to negotiate with Putin and get destroyed.

He will. The rest of the world is looking. Him and Putin are going to be doing fucking blow off a hooker's ass. They're like best friends. You know what I mean? They're besties. They're going to lose their car somewhere and have to go on a fucking wacky, zany adventure. You know what I mean?

Donald and Putin in like, where's my borscht or whatever. Where's my borscht? Dude, where's my borscht? Comrade, where's my Porsche? Comrade, where's my Porsche? There's more of this. We want to play another one. This is from the same place. This is when he's talking about church attendance going up when he's president. Jesus, this is great, too.

And if you look at what's happened to religion, if you look at what's happening to Christianity and you look at the number of people going to churches and the evangelicals know this also, it's not on this kind of a climb. It's on this kind of a climb, slow and steady in the wrong direction. And a lot of it has to do with the fact that you've been silenced. One guy agrees, Don. That guy. I love that he's able to yell out. Like he's been silenced. He's like, I agree that I have been silenced.

Wait a minute. You're doing silence wrong. Someone snipped the stitches out of his mouth. Yeah. You've been silenced. Wait a minute. You're doing silence wrong. Someone snipped the stitches out of his mouth. Yeah, you've been silenced. That's why you're so important that the future potential president of the United States is seeking your fucking vote. And it doesn't matter which fucking side you are,

Democrat or Republican, you've essentially got to let him finish on your face. You've got to say, yeah, fucking Reverend Falwell or whoever the fuck they're, you've got to say yeah fucking reverend falwell or whoever the fuck they're you know whatever whatever fucking giant evangelical fucking mogul is there they've got to be able to say yeah well we want we want you to do the things we want you to do yeah and hold your eyes open hold your eyes open no i'm gonna get a champagne glass oh jesus you've been

silenced like a child has been silenced you've been silenced. Like a child has been silenced. You've been silenced. I love that they buy that shit, too. They love that shit. Well, that's the underdog syndrome, though. I know. It's the underdog syndrome, and people love it when you tell them that they are the underdog, but they're powerful, right? What he's doing is he's creating a narrative here that they love to hear, which is you guys have been silenced you guys, you have it in you to have your voice heard because

what you have to say is important, and you're powerful people. Strong, brilliant, great people. Good. See? Did you hear what he said? He's like, strong, brilliant, great people have been silenced. I mean, he's fucking, he's doing the exact I didn't even have to hear him say it to know that he was gonna say it. He was gonna do it. They want to do the right thing.

We're not talking about bad people, we're talking about great people. What? Can we stop talking in terms that fucking second graders use? We're not talking about bad people. We're talking about great people. What? Can we stop talking in terms that fucking second graders use? We're not talking about bad people. We're talking about great people. We're not talking about good. Are you kidding me? My son would come up

with better adjectives for fucking Pokemon cards. But bad, good, great. It's absurd. It really is. It's absurd. It's the first words you learn. Jesus, man.

It really is. It's his. It's the first words you learn. Jesus, man, it really is. It's his baby talk. In the first books that I've read, I know that those were some of the very first words you learned. He's using hop-on-pop language. Yeah, dude. He's using fucking green eggs and ham language. This is the kind of guy who should give a monologue

on the fucking Great Space Coaster. That's it. Don't do that, Donald. Don't do that, Donald. Don't do that, Donald. Okay? Great people. And I said, you know, I said that I'm

going to take this into my own hands because I'm good at this. This is where Pastor Jeffress is right. This is what I'm good at. What are you good at? You haven't named anything yet. All you're doing is saying goods and bads. And like you said, too, you're right there. You're right there. But every single speech is him fucking ejaculating on himself.

He loves himself, man. I can come across my own chest like nobody else. This is a guy who is familiar with his own taste. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Yeah. He knows when he ate a little with his own taste. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. He knows when he ate a little too much.

So he knows when he had a little too much pineapple. Ah, shrimp scampi. Hey, I'm still in it. I'm still in it to win it. That's gross. I mean, no, shrimp scampi is disgusting. That's gross. And I started telling people about it because it really had an impact on me.

We're people of silence that are really our finest people. You haven't said anything. It's all just pronouns and fucking. He hasn't said anything. I'm going to do the thing that I do. It's great. It's good people, bad people. I told the people I would do the thing.

What? You haven't said anything. You haven't said anything yet. You haven't said a thing. Nothing has happened. It's the worst story I've ever heard ever. How is this guy a major political candidate? Like when a co-worker comes in and starts telling you a story and you stop paying attention, you're like typing.

So you stop paying attention. And then they get in there like, yeah. And then I put the strap on and you're like, wait, what? Wait, what? What? Hold on a second. I missed all of it up until now. Can you go back to the beginning?

Because I'm curious, Father, how you got to this draft line? And their power has been taken away. Your power has been totally taken away. I mean, I don't want to insult anybody, but your power has been totally taken away. This will be

so great for religion. This will be so great for religion. What would be so great? You haven't named anything. This is going to be great. This is exactly what Sam Harris said, right? It's great. It's going to be so great. You won't believe how great

this is going to be. Sam Harris was literally making fun of him, and then he turned around and said, almost that verbatim. Exactly. It's crazy. This man... It's very crazy. It's so crazy. You won't believe how crazy it is. I can't...

I can't possibly understand how somebody listens to that and is like, that's my guy. Yeah, I know. I know. That is my guy. Literally anybody else. You could get a corpse and weekend at Bernie's that thing with a fucking tape recorder of a screech owl inside its rotten corpse. And it would be a better candidate. It just stands up there.

And there's a handful of people in the audience nodding. Yeah, no, I'm with the street y'all. No, I like how you think. But it would be so great for the evangelicals, for the pastors, for the ministers, for the priests, for America. No, they took away your voice. They took away the voice Of great people They took away the voice

Of people that want to see good things happen It's the same exact thing It just reversed the syntax He yoded that shit It's the same exact thing. It just reversed the syntax. He yodeled that shit. He straight yodeled it. Good it will be. It will be good, yes.

America great, yes. Great America. I don't want to live there anymore. There are people like, oh, he makes a fine point. He makes a fine point. Oh my God. So all the other ones, like all the other presidential candidates couldn't beat a guy

who says, it's going to be great. It'll be the good stuff. You know, the good stuff, that great stuff. It'll be good. What do you say? They couldn't beat him, man. They couldn't beat him. What the fuck does that say about the fucking world?

What does that say about us? It doesn't say anything good, man. Oh, God. No, and I'm talking to anybody in our audience. Any single person that's a Trump fan. Anybody that is thinking, I'm talking to anybody in our audience, any single person that's a Trump fan, anybody that is thinking I'm going to vote for Trump. And I don't want to hear from the people who are doing it just to spite Hillary because I don't care what you think, right? That doesn't bother me.

You do what you do. It's your fucking vote. You do what you got to do. But people ardently support this guy. If there's anybody in our audience that actively supports Trump, I want you to listen to this speech and I want you to fucking tell me one, what the fuck is he talking about? Because clearly

you have a fucking Trump to English dictionary that I don't have. It just got one word and it's great. But seriously, fucking, I want to know why this guy inspires you. Because, I mean, when we cut right down to it, a politician is an orator. Right. And this guy inspires you. Because, I mean, when we cut right down to it, a politician is an orator. Right.

And this guy's fucking, this guy's the worst at all of it. He's just literally terrible. He can't speak at all. It's like this isn't his first or second language. It really isn't. He sounds fucking functionally illiterate. He's amazing. I'm surprised this guy can sign his own name.

It's not like they took away a bad voice, an evil voice. They took away a voice. And I mean took it away. They took it away. They took it away. They took it away. Same things over and over and over again. I just fucking, what the fuck?

What the fuck? It's like you're not paying attention to the conversation, but you're the only fucking person in the conversation. It's amazing. Oh, I can't. I'm laughing so hard. Okay. All right. That's amazing. Oh, I can't. I'm laughing so hard. Okay. All right.

Let's see if he picks it up here at the end. I'm sweating. I'm laughing so hard. Because when you were up, if you were, I think two people in this room were there, actually. But if you were in that room with me, they were silent.

They didn't want to get involved with good things. I quit. I quit the show. I quit the show. I quit the show. I'm done. I'm done. I'm never doing this again.

I'm done. I quit the show. I quit the show. Good people. I quit the show. Good people. I quit the show. Good things. Good places. Good times.

It's going to take all the power that I have not to go home and fucking eat a bullet. I can't believe this is the world we live in. I seriously cannot. We're going to put it together. And we actually put it in the platform. And I have to say the Republicans were great. The Republicans were great. The Republicans were great? You're the Republicans!

Is that the other guys? You know, like, the Republicans. You're an actual Republican! Yeah, you're the head of the party now. There we go. And we'll get it approved. We'll get it out. We'll get it out.

We'll be able to terminate the Johnson Amendment. And you'll have great power to do good things. At this point. Will it come with great responsibility? Tom, do you want a beer? I'm going to do this. We're going to do a drinking game. We have one beer.

One beer. One beer. We're going to start the clip over. Oh, my God. From the beginning? From the beginning. Because we only to start the clip over. Oh, my God. From the beginning? From the beginning. Because we only have like 40 seconds left. I don't know.

Do you think we can get it with 40 seconds? Do you think we can finish this beer in 40 seconds? I finished a lot more in 40 seconds. 40 seconds? 40 seconds. Jesus. I got 30 to spare. What is it?

Sunday? All right. What am I, a teenager? Jesus Christ. It's not a twofer. We're going to try to finish this beer before the end. You drink if you hear good, great, or bad. Regular drink.

Regular drink. All right, here we go. Here we go. And religion will start going instead of this way. I mean, Christianity. When you think of what's happening, you look at the numbers. I talk about Sunday school. People don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

It's true. They don't know what I'm talking about. When you look, instead of going this way, you're going to be going this way. You may be going this way, but you're going to be going, we're going to bring it down. He's waving his arm.

And the best part is, is you could freeze frame any of these into Ohio Hitler salutes. I'm just saying. Again, it's upward, not downward. Backwards, not forward. It's the same thing. Because it's a good thing.

Ah, good thing. It's a good thing. He said it again. Oh, shit. They treated you like it was a bad thing. A bad thing? But it's a great thing, not a good thing. It's a great thing. It's a good thing?

Not a bad thing. It's really a bad thing. But it's really a great thing. Fucking idiot. Oh, my God. I am the Lizard Queen. So, Tom, this is chapter 10 of David Icke's book, The Biggest Secret. We are going to be, now we did get a question this week from somebody who's a new listener

and wanted to know why we were doing it. We started reading this book several months at this point ago. Yeah. Because we wanted to read something, a lot of our other fellow podcasters were reading things and we thought, you know, we should probably try to read something too. And all the holy books were already taken and we figured this would be a fun book to read.

So we started reading it. It's not a fun book to read. It's a terrible read. But we do every week come up with a quiz that each of us contribute to. And then we come up with a synopsis. And sometimes, like today, my wife reads a little chapter for us. So a little piece of the chapter anyway. So let's get started with the quiz, and then we'll do our synopsis,

and then we will have a reading of David Icke's Biggest Secret, Chapter 10. So let's get started with the quiz. You had more questions than me, so why don't you go first? All right, all right. Cecil, economic boom and bust cycles exist to steal the true wealth of the world. Quantum fourth-dimensional space reptiles need wealth because...

A, you can't take a Greyhound bus back to the Draco constellation. That's true. B, the cost of all those grub worms adds up quick. C, by confiscating your house and your car and your stuff, the reptile people control the regular people, which they want to do so they can control the wealth, which they want to do so they can control the people,

which they want to do so they can control the wealth, which they want to do so they can... Fuck it. D, because bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks definitely d all right so christ the babylonian brotherhood C, the IRS. D, the U.S. government slash the Virginia company. E, the media so you don't find out what they control. Or F, literally all this stuff because their goal is to achieve total global control and they still haven't done it, which is like playing a game of Monopoly where you own almost the entire board with hotels

and you beat your opponents to death with an axe handle, but you're waiting for the right time to buy Connecticut Avenue. That one. It is literally all this stuff. Cecil, the Rothschild's symbol is what? A, the red shield, also used by the Salvation Army. B, the actual color red. C. The hexagram.

D. All the fucking symbols. Like fucking any actual symbol, just fucking name one in any color and anywhere at any time. A can of Coke? No problem. It's red like the revolution, Russian revolution, Russian Jews, Jews, Israel, Israel created by the Rothschilds. Coke cans are roth's children they are actually little tiny roth people it's that one it's that one it's that one it's that one that's an example of his logic it really is the rothschilds yes here we go a had a member of their ancient household sire 70 children prompting david to wonder how someone could find time to

fuck 70 plus times in their adult life b i know he doesn't seem amazed by that like where did he find the time i don't know all he had to do was fucking insert his semen it really doesn't take a long time he might have been like tom let's see 70 times times 30 seconds yeah 35 minutes of work that's that 34 minutes more work than i've ever done refractory period it's 37 minutes b excluded women of the family and their households from any wealth left to them in wills because even though being a reptile is passed down in the female's genes she can't wear the pants in the family. C. Hid their origins through titles. But you can always call the Mormons for a reptile Carfax.

D. Have their own little-known country called Israel. E. Inspired the Salvation Army logo. Or F. All of the above. All of the above. It is all of the above? All of the above. It is all of the above. Last one, Cecil. Why does the Brotherhood keep track of who sires who? A, because descendants of the bloodline are easiest to plug into the reptiles

in the lower fourth dimension. B. It is that. So they can get the friends and family discount on their Columbia House DVD club memberships. It's that. So they can get the friends and family discount on their Columbia House DVD Club membership. It's also that too. C. Because the reptile people are secretly also Mormons and totally into Ancestry.com. Or D. So they can make little iguana-shaped baby blankets.

It's A. It's A. All right. So here's my synopsis. All right. For chapter 10. Bring it on, buddy. Loans aren't real

there's more you could have stopped there but with them you can buy real stuff and this makes david real angry that when you default the bank can take away your real estate the ross childs are mostly reptiles but he won't tell us which ones he doesn't want to start a witch hunt or have his fucking pantsuit on and the federal income tax and federal reserve were created in 1913 because the stars aligned they literally did i know The stars literally aligned. Lined up. And so that's why there's an IRS.

There's an IRS, evidently. That's amazing. So this is the chapter, the piece of the chapter that Sarah read for us. Now, this is going to get into some of the monetary things that he talks about in this chapter, which we will get tons of email about. So much email. This apparently complex, but ultimately simple, network of banking, business, politics, media, and secret societies

controls the world on behalf of the Brotherhood operational headquarters in London. The control of money and banking via the Rothschilds and others are crucial to this. One of the Brotherhood's most important coups

was the creation in 1913 of the Federal Reserve, the so-called Central Bank of the United States. It is neither federal nor has any reserve. It is a cartel of private banks owned by the 20 founding families, mostly European, which today decides the interest rates for the United States and lends non-existent money, figures on a screen, to the U.S. government on which the taxpayers have to pay interest. I love that he constantly goes back to non-existent money. He keeps saying non-existent money.

Well, with that non-existent money, I can buy real things. Money is and always has just been a concept. That's what David Icke doesn't seem to get. He's upset that it's not backed up by physical paper, right? But, you know, at one point physical paper was backed up by gold, but gold isn't any more valuable than fucking hot dogs. Sure. Right? We're all just agreeing that this is the item we use to barter.

It's no different than beads or seashells. It's all bullshit. It's all at its heart. It's all bullshit it's all at its heart it's all bullshit which is why why would reptiles travel across interstellar space to agree that our fucking concept is a value concept like they're not like well we're fucking ran out of money on draco planet i gotta go to earth and get money what are you some fucking literally the dumbest shit i've ever heard. It can't make less sense. This is what we call the American deficit. It is fresh air.

Fresh air. Fresh air. Terry Gross. Terry Gross. And Terry, anytime you want to come on the show, Terry, you're welcome. If Terry Gross would be on the show, I would quit the show. I'd be like, you're not my seat, my microphone, my computer. I'd interview the fuck out of Terry Gross.

Are you kidding me? Would you really? Absolutely. She would turn those tables. It's like saying, I would fuck the hell out of Angel Gross. Are you kidding me? Would you really? Absolutely. She would turn those tables. It's like saying, like, I would fuck the hell out of Angelina. No, she'll fuck you. Terry Gross doesn't get interviewed. She interviews, buddy.

You're in her house now. She fucking spikes the mic. Everybody, she splats the mic out of my face. Get that weak shit out of here. Get out of here. I own this house. This is for Terry Gross to step into your fucking chest? The federal government of the United States does not own a single share in the Federal Reserve,

and the American citizens cannot purchase them. Why would I need shares? It's not a private corporation. It's not a publicly traded corporation. It's not like in the stock market. Right. That's not... It doesn't even make any sense. I don't know how any of this works.

Profits exceed $150 billion a year, and the Federal Reserve has not once in all its history published audited accounts. This income is assured because number one, the Brotherhood control the United States government.

He kind of put his own quiz in here, by the way. I know. Number one there. I know. I know. I know. The Virginia Company, under another name, which continues to borrow money from the Fed. And two, they also control the privately owned Internal Revenue Service, IRS, the illegal terrorist organization which collects the taxation from the people. And three, it controls the media to ensure that people never find out about one and two. How did you find out?

You heard about it, David. Fucking who tells this guy? It's all fucking credo mutt walk. It's the only thing, the only reason anyone knows anything. He's got a channel

I'm throwing a Ouija board. Just talk to credo. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Ellen, Sin, Christian, Brendan, Nicholas, the Norwegian Anaconda, Carrie, Ian, Timothy, Conrad, Glory Hole Grail Gulper, Sasho, Benjamin, Scott, Shane,

Rodney, Kralf, Michael, Syphon the Python, Shane, Rodney, Krolf, Michael, Syphon, the Python, Abigail, Daniel, Dave, Rachel, Nathan, Christopher, Jared, Kanan, Heathen Street Preacher, Sophie, Delancey Music, Christopher, David, Luke, Stephen, Zachary, Anax, Mander, John, Amanda, Corey, Mike, Lawrence, Scott, Vincent, James, Victor, Hobo Batman. Hobo Batman is great. Lindsay, Jameson, Slam Nasty, Dave, Travis, David, Dave Nichols of the Positively Doubtful Podcast, David, Schofield, and Caitlin. Thank you very much for your generous donations. We're going to give away three books here. Yep, yep. We just got a couple of books here.

Advanced copies of Chris Matheson's Story of God. And Cecil, they're signed. They are signed. They are signed by the one, the only, the inimitable, the author, Chris Matheson. So, Story of God is going to be coming out on paperback next month, early next month. I think it's the first of,

oh, actually, I think it's two months. First of October I think it's coming out. So these are advanced copies. Right now, what I'm going to do is, a first copy we're going to give away right now is to someone who pledged last week. So I'm going to pull a number and I'm going to tell you who won. All right, here we go. Kanan. Kanan wins.

So Kanan, you won an awesome book by Chris Matheson. So get in touch with us. So you're going to receive that book. We're also going to give another book away right now to one of our other patrons. So not someone who did last week. Another patron right now is going to get the book. I'm going to pick a number.

A random patron? A random patron. Here we go, here we go, here we go. No Emmys, no Emmys, no Emmys. Melissa, Melissa H., I will send you a direct message, Melissa, so that you'll know that you won a book. Next week, we have one more of these books to give away.

We do indeed. So next week, we're going to give a book to one of the patrons that signs up between now and next week. We had a PayPal donation. We had a PayPal donation from Michael. Michael, thank you so much for your generous donation. Remember, PayPal is another way to donate to the show. Just go to DissonancePod.com, click on Donate, and you can support the show. We got a message from Keith, and Keith said he was listening to some older episodes, and he just finished episode 29 where we called out Santorum for being an undercover racist

for nearly calling poor people black people. And he said, so yeah, 2012, the good old days when our candidates were undercover racists. I love it. But I don't love it. It makes me so sad. Gosh. Fucking Santorum's way more articulate than Trump. Way more articulate.

All right, Tom. We got a message from Sherry. And Sherry has a poem in this message. So why don't you read Sherry's poem? She does indeed. Here is Sherry has a poem in this message, so why don't you read Sherry's poem? She does indeed. Here is Sherry's poem. I am trapped in a nightmare I cannot escape, forced to watch as a cancerous tumor takes shape. While the GOP twiddled their thumbs like some schmuck, they failed to control this smug narcissistic fuck.

All the low-hanging fruit have come out in support, toting guns low IQ, shouting time to deport. Did he really just say that he has the best words? shouting, time to deport. Did he really just say that he has the best words? How can anyone think that this bigoted turd could lead the free world without killing us all or have Mexico pay for and build him a wall? He has Voight, Christy Palin, Ted Nugent, and Sheen, and Philip Robertson, that hate-spewing bigot machine.

I'd rather be forced to watch nonstop Fox News or change the man diaper of Crybaby Cruz. The Donald for Prez is the worst thing I've heard to the rest of the world it's downright absurd nothing can make me more queasy or nauseous than the thought of this douchebag in the Oval Office so if it turns out that those

small orange hands take control of our country and all of its land I'll kiss her goodbye bid America farewell and concede God is real cuz we'd all be in hell. I will say one thing that's worse than Don in the Oval Office is in your oval orifice. Pretty much. I got

pretty much the best cock. I got pretty much the smallest hands. It's going to be great. You won't believe how great it's going to be with two hands, one in each hole. Jesus man. Shake hands in middle it's okay i got little hands we got an awesome image it's fucking awesome image so we're talking about uh uh when trump gets in office this is from daniel by the way and uh and daniel uh daniel sent us a message, which is the monthly temperature average for Chicago. And it shows September when Trump would let the bomb fly as being 15 million degrees. And the best part is he put a mustache.

Like when you're talking about Snapchatting the end of the world, you put a mustache. He put a mustache on the mushroom cloud. So we're going to put a picture of this in this episode's show notes. This is episode 311. We got a message from Javier. He's listening to the most recent episode.

I wanted to expand on Cincinnati chili. He's a Texan. He said he wound up in Cincinnati. Shortly after arriving there, I made a mistake of tasting what the locals call chili. It's a mistake of tasting what the locals call chili. It's a slap in the face to food. Some asshole decided to ground meat with clove, allspice and cinnamon tasted good. Oh, God.

Dude, those are pie spices, man. That sounds so bad. God. And the worst part is that it really does have a pumpkin pie look to it. Jesus. It's basically baby shit on fucking noodles. Why? That's not how you meet.

It's horrifying. No. That's not a food. That's not right. This week, we received an IQ, and this IQ is from Aaron, and Aaron won the tickets to go to Mythicist Milwaukee. Going to be going to the conference up there. Free tickets provided by the Mythicist Milwaukee show.

Thanks guys for providing the tickets. This is going to be a conference. It's going to be coming up in October. You can find out all about it on mythicismilwaukee.com and we'll put a link in this episode show notes so you can take a look at it. But all you need to do is go to the website and you can find out about the tickets that are on sale for October 21st. And it's going to be a great conference. Also, Thomas from Thomas and the Bible is going to be there. He's going to be giving a talk there.

If I was not in Europe, I would absolutely be there to cheer him on and heckle him from the audience. Heckle the motherfucker out of that guy. It would be fucking amazing. But anyway, I want to read this haiku because this is the person who won. Tied around a pole, not to a pole, he is not a real lizard.

That's funny. That is from Aaron. It's great. Aaron, thank you for participating thank you very much in the in the contest we got an interesting message from benjamin and benjamin talks about i'll put a video link to this this is cp gray's uh uh video about uh voting and the voting is called alternative voting and we talked to he talks this. We're not going to play the video, but we will post a link to it on our website for this episode 311. It's interesting.

It's basically ranking people. So instead of just having a two-party system, you have as many people as are running, say five, ten people or whatever, and you just rank who you would like first, second, third. who you would like first, second, third. And then the people, like they basically take it when people lose the race, when people are not in the race anymore, they say they only got five or 6% of the vote. You would then take their percentage and add it to the person who is closest,

I guess that most of the people who voted for them voted for. Right. It's a really interesting system. I think it would result in a, the idea is to end the type of voting we have now, which is the kind of voting I admit to doing, which is strategic voting. Yeah. Lesser to evil voting. Right. Yeah. We got a message. Um, and this is from Scott and Scott did not like Michael A. Wood on the show.

Um, he sent a long email to that fact. Um, I found the email. I don't know that I agreed with you a lot of Scott on it, but one of the things that I I don't know that I agreed with you a lot, Scott, on it, but one of the things that I think is interesting, and this happens a lot, whenever people don't like a show that we did, especially an interview, if they don't like the show, what they'll say is, normally you guys are real clear thinking. And then they'll say something like that, and then they'll start listing the problems with the show. We had a conversation with someone. Now, you may not agree with that person at all, and that's fine. It's fine not to agree with them.

I imagine there was a lot of people that listened to last week's show that heard that guy and said, I don't agree with that guy. I don't think he has anything to sell me. It's okay to disagree with people. But you don't need to tell them that they didn't think clearly because they introduced you to a viewpoint you might not have heard before. There's nothing that has anything to do with thinking clearly on that. And I think that I understand that maybe you want to have some pushback here, but to say that we're not thinking clearly about this, we just had him on as a guest. I don't know that I agreed with everything he said anyway. I mean, there was some stuff he was

talking about specifically when he was talking about Oxycontin and he's talking about how doctors are prescribing it and then people are going on. I don't know if that's true. And not only that, I don't think it's some sort of weird conspiracy with doctors. I don't know that that's what he meant because when I was editing it, I sort of listened to it and thought, I don't know that I agree with that. But when I'm having a conversation with someone, I don't normally push back against them because I'm not, this isn't a debate show. I'm not here to debate Michael Wood. What I'm doing, what I'm here to do is talk to him and listen to what his ideas are. And then you make your decisions based on that. I listen to all kinds of stuff. So I listen to Joe Rogan and Milo Yelanopoulos or that guy is that dangerous faggot guy who I listened to that

whole Joe Rogan episode. I don't like Milo really at all, but I listened to the whole thing. And I didn't send Joe Rogan a message that said he wasn't thinking clearly because he had Milo on. Like if I can – you can have Milo on. I don't care. I want to hear what he has to say because I want to hear a differing viewpoint. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean that they're stupid or that they don't have anything to say. One thing I want to talk about from this email too, and we occasionally get things like this, and I see this sort of all over the place. You know, it says, I'm going to read directly.

But the media never shows that stuff. The media hides the daily crazy black-on-white and black-on-black crime, blah, blah, blah. You should ask yourself, why you never see any of that? I'm MSNBC or CNN. The media is hiding all of this. And I'm moving, the media hiding all this actually is ahead of that. So I don't want to misquote. I don't know where you're getting it if you're not getting it from the media.

I don't understand that. You know, that's this, there's a sort of line that you hear all the time. It says, you know, the media doesn't tell you this. What other source of information other than literally from media, what other source of information do you have? I would like, and this is genuine, like if you're not getting your information from some sort of media, where are you getting your information from?

There must be some magical well of information from once this springs that I somehow have never heard of or don't have access to, but is at the same time more honest and accurate than, than the media sources. Right. I'm consuming. Right. Yeah.

So I would like to know what that, what is that? Where, where are those sources? Why, why, why don't I have access to them? Or maybe,

maybe I do have access and just don't know. I mean, what, what is it? But anytime I hear that, like the media doesn't want to tell you. Like, that's some fucking Alex Jones InfoWars shit, right? Let's see.

It's no different. We got an interesting image. This is from Michael. I'm going to post it. It has something to do with Pastor Manning and coffee. It's great. So take a look on this episode's show notes. That guy's a delight.

Got a message from Tom, and Tom said, what were you guys hearing when you guys visited you guys visited the arc, uh, did you overhear any good, anything good? Was there stunned silence? Um, or were they talking about it kind of, and I have to admit a lot of it was in silence. People were not talking out loud, but I did overhear some parents basically saying like sort of explaining exhibits to kids. I heard that a lot. I heard a lot of parents reading or or sort of summarizing what was written on the walls to help the children understand why you know fucking you know there's no more dinosaurs but there's a fucking cage full of dinosaurs here that's so confusing yeah i mean

it's got to be crazy confusing for the kids right we have a great you know fucking tell you what all us fucking atheists have our story nailed down it's pretty easy you know it's super simple like why did this happen oh don't worry that's all nonsense yeah that's it or the other way is like yeah well they were here a long time ago they're not here anymore yeah that works too kind of hard when there's a condensed timeline yeah i know like when you've only got 6 000 years to work with not a lot of not a lot of the years to work with, so to speak. All right, so next week, it's going to be our great hope. We're not sure when it's going to happen, but it's our great hope.

We're going to be on one of the god-awful movies coming up soon. Another thing that's going to be happening very soon is we're going to be doing a vulgarity for charity at the end of this month, beginning of next month, with the god-awful movie scathing atheist crew. We're going to be tag teaming to try to like really drum up and beat the bushes and get a goodly sum of funds to go to a charity. That charity has not 100% been decided yet, but it's going to be a good one. It hasn't been decided because we've been, we've been really trying to find something that we think will motivate. Yeah.

We definitely want to get something that we think will motivate people. And that doesn't mind that we're going motivate. Yeah, we definitely want to get something that we think will motivate people and that doesn't mind that we're going to be doing vulgarity for it. Those two things sometimes don't intersect, but we're going to be doing our very best to try to find a really good charity for everyone to donate to at the end of the month. We'll be keeping

you posted. We're going to be donating a good chunk of Patreon money to this as well as a matching, a way to match funds. So we hope that people will be involved in that. But I don't think anything else is coming up. We're going to try to get in touch with Stuart, like we said before, because we're on Chapter 11. We're going to have to have Stuart on for

Chapter 12. So we're coming up on that too. But it should be a pretty interesting couple of weeks, and we're excited for the charity and then to work with the Scathing Atheist crew. So that should be good. It should be a great time. Looking to watching god's not dead that's awesome let's wrap the show up all right what should we leave them with we should leave them with my shitty poem tom's work of art credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit.

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