Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 312: Faith Hall of Fame

Episode Date: August 29, 2016

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Tom, Cecil. This is Jesus. I'm back. Come on, pick up. All right, call me back. Hey guys, Patrick from Wisconsin here.

It's not bad enough that I can't jack off to Melissa Joan Hart without thinking of that fucking train wreck God's Not Dead 2. Now you guys gotta fuck up my childhood memories of the Great Space Coaster by putting Trump in there? Thanks a lot, assholes. Glory hole. You fucking assholes. Fucking assholes. I'm trying to get to sleep, and all I can do is just lie here pretending to be a street child at a corpse taking Donald Trump's place. And my cats are all pissed off, and it's your fault. Glory hole, motherfuckers.

I'm calling in because I'm fucking stuttered. Fuck you. Fuck the two of you. Fuck you right in the ass. What the fuck did Sublime ever do to you? Fucking nothing, that's what. Fucking nothing. Oh, God.

That little little cut by Riz. Fuck you. Fuck you. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chic, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at this episode 312 of Cognitive D our area code episode man it is this is absolutely yeah we're fucking representing the 312 bitch as soon as the only

other one we're gonna be able to do is 773 that's a long way off 630 i got myself covered that's true we are here we are representing the 630 god fucking idiots you fucking throw up their shit about what fucking area code they have those people are assholes every single one of those people's an asshole they should do their zip code instead right 60607 fucking ridiculous well they did like isn't that beverly hills 90210 i guess that's true and no no i don't know who reps a fucking zip code yeah i belong to all the other people that also happen to live in this major geographical region like so this is episode 312 and we we got a fucking whole new system we do so we got we got a tv now that tom and i can both at the same time watch say say, the videos.

Because normally what happens is I'll play the video on my screen. And then Tom just gets to listen to it just like everybody else. But now Tom gets to watch it as well because we are connecting directly to a television that I was getting rid of. It's a brave new world, man. It is a brave new world. We've got 55 inches of love. It's not that big. That's 53 and a half inches more than I'm used to working with, buddy. It's not that big. It's an older plastic screen. You just keep. It's not that big. That's 53 and a half inches more than I'm used to working with, buddy.

It's not that big. It's an older plastic screen. You just keep saying it's not that big. It doesn't make me feel better. All right? I'm just, you know, fucking humor me. Humor me. Here's the thing.

All the nerves are in the first two inches. Here's the thing, man. That's my jam. Okay? That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This story comes from right wing watch uh this is theodore shubat who i guess is still a fucking thing this guy is basically just a youtube asshole he's got this whole claim to fame oh you know the thing is like you can i think you

could probably be a pretty good youtube asshole the thing is is that this guy's actually must be making money out of it because he looks a little chubbier than he used to. He does. He looks like maybe he's been packing it in. Tell you what. Nobody's taking the kick off his fucking cafeteria tray, right? I'm not kidding. All right. So let's play Theodore Shibat. This is basically him saying Hillary Clinton should be put to death.

He's a monster. This guy – I think the only reason – Should be put to death. I love it. But I do think – because his dad dad doesn't he have a famous dad yeah his dad's a fucking nazi or something his dad what was his name uh mangle mangle mangle all right so this is theater shoe back cow and asshole this sick woman sick sick sick the sickest thing is that fucking fake ass mustache you're fucking trying to grow

in bro what's weird is the fucking is the is the jesus in the background with a diaper on there's like a picture of jesus diaper jesus that has like a little a little diaper to gird in his loins or whatever and then and then he's got you're right he he has he doesn't even have a porn stash he has like a fucking 14 year old-old stache. He's got the fucking seven stray hairs, and he's like, it's growing in. It's almost there, guys. Hey, guys. Do you like my mustache? Dude, it's not a mustache.

I know. When he comes up, he says, do you like my mustache? He's like, what are you talking about? No, it's first of all. I thought you ate an Oreo. Right. I was going to say it's cookie crumbs. You got cookie crumbs on your upper lip.

I mean, this is a man who's got a stache like that, but still is rocking eyebrows that are joining together. No kidding, right? Who goes straight unibrow? Can't grow the mustache. No kidding, right? Pick one. Shave or don't shave.

Or just fucking call the hair club for men and have that shit migrated down. You know what I mean? Maybe you just grow the fucking eyebrows all the way into his mouth. Decrepit. Reprobate. Wretch. There are some other words that I want to use to describe her, but I know that this is a family show.

A family show? Wait a minute. We're 12 seconds in. He's calling for the death of one of the major political candidates in a family show. A family. I'd hate to see the fucking after hours version.

Jesus. It gets a little blue when we start crucifying people. Good Lord. He's like fisting the crucified people. What? Can you imagine? It's just hard because their legs are together. It is hard, but it's worth it.

Yeah. You know, it's the effort. It's the effort that shows the love. That's the thing. Effort is always equivalent. This is a guy 12 seconds in who says this is a family show. You wonder, like, what person is like, okay, kids, gather around the TV. We're going to watch the shoe bad show.

The shoe bads. Okay, put your hate down. No, bring the hate. Who am I kidding? Never put the hate down, kids. Oh, that's right. We love hate. bring the hate who am i kidding never put the hate down kids oh that's right we love hate and i know that if i call her the b word oh god the b word b word i think he means bitch

well i thought he meant bastard thanks i call her a female dog i'm gonna get people upset about that and they're gonna say that uh i'm vulgar and all that nonsense. But the woman is a female dog. I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. But then I'm going to allude to it and then say it immediately after. I just want to say it. Bitch.

Oh, my God. Now we're going to get email. She's not a bitch. She's a bitch. Now we're going to get email saying we're vulgar. I know, like, of all the fucking words you could possibly say on television bitch is totally allowed right shit i i would ask tits i've heard i've heard them drop f-bombs on television before on regular network on uh on cable yeah oh sure not like hbo though like fucking a and e once once a season they drop it it's youtube yeah it's fucking youtube i know

like you can see you can watch people die on youtube you can you can watch you can watch not just one but like 27 different archived machete attacks right on youtube and this guy is like oh i don't want to swear on the youtube he's like what are you kidding me my kid has what my kid watches youtube he's seen some shit. Oh, yeah. Like he's traumatized at this point. He's fucking got straight PTSD from that fucking iPhone. I think it's OK for me to say that female dog.

And there are some people saying that she is a lesbian. We all know that she's a reprobate, but there are some people saying that she's a lesbian. For example, you recently had Sally Miller. Wait, OK, now I just want to talk about like it. Watch what way this is rolling. But there are some people saying that she's a lesbian. For example, you recently had Sally Miller. Wait. Okay. Now, hold on. I just want to talk about like it. Watch what way this is rolling.

So he put text on the screen. Right. For those of you at home, he put text on the screen, but he's rolling the opposite way. So like if you were, say, reading backwards, this would work great. And it says Hillary is a lesbian, Miller claims, reigniting a lingering and unsubstantiated rumor. But the thing is it's rolling up as he's talking. So during this video at 40 seconds, it's essentially rolling up. And she was getting banged by Bill Clinton, so she ain't no saint.

She's getting banged by Bill Clinton, so she ain't no saint. And he's worried about this being a family show. They're married, though. Well, I know that. Who know well i know i know that i know that i was just going up to fucking get a running start right they're in it they're in it to win it right yeah here's the thing i don't care if they are married or not married right i don't care what it's consenting adults do right to have sex but mother fuck they're fucking married like even under your fucking weird archaic rules that's totally high five in time

right that's that's the only time you're allowed exactly as he so eloquently put it a banging also you romance hillary clinton you do not bang hillary clinton that's all i'm saying romance first banging after that's why you do the romance. You romance Hillary Clinton. You bang Elizabeth. Oh, brother. Elizabeth Warren bangs you. That's fair. Yeah.

Elizabeth Warren. I'm just saying she's on top. A hundred percent. I'm just saying, Liz, call me. That's all. She's got your arms pinned above your head. Like, fuck, this isn't. she chokes fucks you with a strap on i don't even like this shut up shut up and take it she has stated that uh hillary clinton

is a lesbian and she uh has affirmed that uh bill clinton when they were not uh banging each other or when he was uh when he wasn't banging her, told her, confided into her that... Confided into her? I'm going to confide into you. That seems uncomfortable. It's not how... It seems like you would need a surgeon. Right. Jesus, that's not how you words at all.

His wife wasn't really into men and that is his wife is a lesbian. So you heard it from her. Is she being truthful? We don't know. But the facts are the woman is a reprobate. You have these far-right people that are like fucking Shoebad and then like Savage, all these other people that are just far-right. There's never a moment when these people are attacking an idea.

They're always attacking a person it's never that they say hillary clinton has bad ideas i don't think hillary clinton would make a good leader because i don't agree with her on gun control i think human beings should be able to defend themselves i don't agree with her on uh on on the trade deals that she's created i feel like american jobs are more important than uh than any of the trade stuff that she's done, I feel like American jobs are more important than any of the trade stuff that she's done. I don't agree with her on immigration because I feel like we are giving away jobs and opportunities to people that actually didn't put, you know, that aren't paying for it.

You know what I mean? Like there's plenty of ways to go after, right? There's plenty of ways from a Republican standpoint to go after. But instead of like, oh, and she's a lesbian and I dislike that she has sex with her husband and her husband might be gay and that's the reason to attack her. I'm super confused. Here's the thing.

It can be funny. I don't mind fucking talking about Michelle Bachman's gay husband. That's funny. But that's not a reason that she's a bad politician. The reason she's a bad politician is because she's a terrible politician. Well, that's because she's a terrible intellect, a terrible speaker, and a terrible person. Pretty much all the above. Yeah.

And the thing is there's never a moment where any of these guys stop and say, okay, here's why I think. Yeah, it's absolutely true. It's always this fucking negative either body image or whatever. It's the lowest form of discourse, right? It is. It's the cheapest, lowest form of discourse, it's the it's it is it's the it's the cheapest lowest form of discourse and it's just it's just this constant ad hominem sure and it's a try it's a it's a it's a way to try to discredit someone and it doesn't do i mean it accomplishes nothing it's all sound and fury it does accomplish something because clearly there are people out there i think that would be swayed by the fact

that bill clinton is banging his wife i don't understand why that's a problem either yeah like i like that i mean unless he's tagging someone else in you know what i mean but even i just like i don't know if he gets his licks in what difference does it make facts are the woman hates children the facts are the woman loves homosexuality so would it surprise me if it was uh confirmed emphatically that she is a Sodomite. Would not surprise me in the least bit. The woman is a sick devil worshiper. She's a devil worshiper. It would not surprise me in the least bit that this woman goes into a dark room somewhere and worships the devil in front of an image of Bab Homan.

What is wrong with this man? Well, what's awesome is he just called her a devil worshiper and then said it wouldn't surprise him if she was a devil worshiper. He is just all over the fucking map. He doesn't care what's true. The interesting thing is this is a video where a guy is basically saying, look, I don't care if it's true or not. The truth doesn't make any difference to me at all.

All I care about is just being mad. All care about is my feelings my feelings i think this guy needs a safe space i feel like this guy needs a fucking hug from a gay man i feel like every gay man one of those ones where they grab your ass i feel like this guy there should be there should be like a a movement where every time this guy goes somewhere gay men hug him every time he's somewhere just big fucking a big bear dudes too like yeah like the most intimidating harry's fucking strong raw just give him i love you fucking great big fucking sloppy fucking hugs just hips to hips yeah for sure yeah would not surprise me in the least bit. You know, there was a Trump advisor, one of Trump's advisors, Al Baldessaro. He stated, you know what he stated?

He said that Hillary Clinton, this is his words, Hillary Clinton should be put in the firing line and shot for treason. You know what, Al Baldessaro? I have to commend you for actually saying what needs to be done. I commend you for affirming the righteous law against evildoers. This guy looks like he walked right off the set of a gay porn. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That little tiny mustache like that? That's a jizz catcher, dude. That's all that is. That's a flavor saver. That is what I have been saying for years in regards to evil people who ruin society with invidious beliefs, with dangerous and diabolical and deceptive beliefs. I have said that people who promote homosexuality should be put to death i have said that people who promote witchcraft and occultism and yoga and all that demonic stuff should be put to death and yoga and yoga yoga people who promote yoga should be put

to death no first of all yeah first of all. Yeah. First of all, fuck off. Fuck that. Fuck off. Yoga. Yoga. Are you kidding? Yeah. You know what? I don't like supple, flexible women. Said nobody ever.

Oh, look at those gross women in their tight, almost see-through pants. You asshole. Shut up. Yeah. Fucking call me after the downward dog and tell me that you don't like yoga. Yoga. This guy is fucking. and call me after the downward dog and tell me that you don't like yoga. Yoga? This guy is fucking, he's watching women do yoga, and he's squeezing his own balls as far as he can to torture himself.

And now this person, a Trump advisor, not just anyone. That's literally anybody. Anybody can be a Trump advisor. At this point, he could throw a lawn jar into the crowd and hit his next advisor. That guy runs through advisors like i run through wives a trump advisor top trump advisor albalasaro has emphatically stated that hillary clinton is worthy of death and i absolutely. Nobody cares that you agree. Nobody cares what he said either. I know.

Like, everybody's like, oh, he said it. What a shoe-pat thing. He agrees. He's on speed dial. Let me call him up. Even his dad doesn't even have him on speed dial. Look at where he's recording. He's recording.

It's clearly a monastery somewhere. It looks like his mom's bedroom. She supports the slaughtering of millions of American babies. And you support the slaughtering of her. So what? Like fucking tit for tat, dipshit. The fuck, man? Like, that's what I don't understand.

I know, but they don't see it that way, bud. Oh, fucking I support her death. She's killing things. Wait, what? Yeah, but they don't look at it that way. They look at, you know,'s killing things and you're not wait what yeah but but they don't look at it that way they look at you know babies are sweet and innocent and cuddly until they get born and then you want to fucking throw them and throw them off the fucking cliff like sparta right yeah because you don't give a fuck once they're born somebody else's problem as soon as they come out and scream and yell and poop jesus awful humans. She promotes homosexuality, which is against human life.

You can't promote it. And also, it's against human life? I don't know. What? Like when I fuck somebody in the ass, do I blow up? Like, what happens? You become a human bomb. You can't promote.

I love the idea. These guys talk about promoting homosexuality. I don't care how great your campaign ad is. I'm not sucking a dick. No kidding, right? I don't care. Your billboard could be amazing, right? It could be amazing. You could be like, you know, like the more you grow or whatever the fucking slogan is,

you know, be like, oh, that's a really great slogan. The jingle is exciting. A really neat video. I'm telling you, it could have me riveted the whole time. But the only dude that's going to be naked in this room is me yeah when she was uh first lady what did her husband do slaughtered christians in serbia she would love to see the death of all christians i kid you not do not think for a second that that woman if she had the chance would put people like me in concentration camps, would put

Christians in concentration camps. You've been saying this about fucking Obama for eight years, you fucking twat. You're still fucking in your missionary room with your fucking diaper, Jesus. Give it a fucking speech. Nobody's coming after you, man. Nobody cares. Shit, I don't

even care. I know. You know what? I care so little. Fuck this guy. We'll move on to the next guy. We're done. So for this time, Tom, we read chapter 11. Oh, yeah, we did, buddy. Which is Global Babylon. Sure, man.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking Babble it's it is this one is this one is i think uh pretty much word salad it's it's like it's like getting your word salad tossed it's not even that pleasant no no it's not even that pleasant you can't you can't even push back and moan a little you know what i mean like? Caliente. It's not. It's not. So we have our quizzes. There's no amount of showering, by the way. Let's just pause real quick.

You really can't. You really can't. I don't – like you could – You could bleach the fuck out of that, pluck every hair, bleach it. Ouch. Wax it. Dude, you're Italian, buddy. And then – well, I'm not talking about me.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Generally speaking. I'm talking about – like, okay, let's just say we had a hairless mole rat person. So an Asian. An Asian. That's fair. And then you bleached their asshole.

And then did any of the other cleanup necessary. Even if you fucking filled it with potpourri. All right, so I have a quiz. It's about's about five questions on oh i've only got three i've only got three all right all right and then we'll do our synopsis oh i did not have any iqoos made this time i'm sorry but and also sarah did not read for us uh i found again this this this this particular chapter had no long paragraph that was worth reading, so I just didn't. That's fair. Com 300 is, A, it is the list of the 300 most reptilian families as described by a contact of David Icke, who worked in a high level of the financial world, particularly in Switzerland. B. The plot of a new

film where the defenders of the hot gates at Thermopylae use interpersonal communication to negotiate with Xerxes. That may be... That's a viable option. C. The pay-per-view channel that plays hot, gaping anal princesses on rotation.

No, that's 314. D. A required class for communication majors taught by that total dickwad professor No, that's 314. Those are your options. Well, I'm going to have to go with A. A. It is A, it turns out. All right, your turn. Cecil, skull and bones is just one of the many influential secret societies that exist to control stuff. Not sure what, how, or why. Probably lizards.

Name some others. A. Chapter 322. Brotherhood of Death. Roundtable Network. Eastern Establishment. Templars. B. I thought those were our choices.

Okay, all right. That's fair. Biscuits and gravy. Corn thought those were our choices. Okay. All right. That's fair. Biscuits and gravy. Uh-huh. Corn muffins. Travel pillows. Potato dumplings.

Okay. Those are our last two. C. Peter, Paul, and Mary. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Uh-huh. The Brothers Karamazov. Okay. I'm going to go with A.

I think it's A. It's just... It's a random list of garbage. It's just... It's really just a random list it's like it's like naming shit that's in your junk it's just like scissors tape an old sock like it's just it's just random it really is all right george stephanopoulos yes a good man took part in white in the whitewater controversy which disappointingly has nothing to do with rafting b became the supreme reptile road road scholar ruler of the planet earth the lower fourth

dimension and the inner tubes once bill clinton ramsay's piso bush stepped down from office c is a full foot shorter than any other human male But that's because he's a reptile and coiled and ready to strike. Nice. Or D is somehow used in the same part of the book that says the leaders of the future are not decided by an election. They are reared and manipulated to hold these positions at a very young age. The position of leadership he is currently holding is the first in line for coffee at ABC. Well, it's definitely deep. It's definitely deep.

He even says that in that line. He's like, particularly from a young age, he's like, even babies. I love that it's George Stephan. I'm like, he's just an ABC guy. I know he used to be part of the Clinton administration, but he's just a guy who does fucking political commentary and the thing is like he's a political analyst for abc even when this book was published he was a political analyst for abc it's not like he fucking he was gonna be like george stephanopoulos was gonna be running for president someday anybody that thinks even george stephanopoulos doesn't think he's important you know like he walks in

his own door he's like, honey, never mind. I got a true and false. I'm going to throw in here real quick. All right. True or false. The Skull and Bones organization is deeply racist and funded on drug money. Therefore, George Bush, a member of the Skull and Bones organization, is deeply racist and funded by drug money. Yeah, I love that.

I think he calls him like the world's most prolific drug dealer. He does at one point. George Bush! George Bush, yeah. George Bush isn't cool enough to deal any drugs. Cecil, why did the Brotherhood, who has been in control since man first ooked and ocked and wiped their asses with tree leaves decide to start world war one a because fuck archdude ferdinand that's why

b because lizards love trenches and hate digging and the trench warfare allowed them to outsource it c as a massive problem reaction solution to destroy the global status quo so allowing them to rebuild a post war world in their image or d the aristocrats what can a 33 degree freemason do that a 32nd degree a get polio b break masonry with their bare hands c anal d measure three things correctly with a protractor or e become president become president i would have also accepted get polio i like that yeah that's great see so how do you avoid being unwittingly used as an assassin by the order of the black hand i'm curious now a no matter how cute they seem don't kill anyone.

Okay. Or D, kill people, but do it for the love of the game. It's B. I would accept C or D, actually. B. It's B. You got to switch. All right.

You missed my last one. Let's do it. Without looking, figure 22 depicts the following things leading one to another. Okay. Which choice is it? A, physiological to safety to love and belonging to esteem to self-actualization. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Maslow? Did you write that, Maslow? B, email to Facebook, to Twitter, to YouTube, to Reddit, to closed door, to porn. C. I call that Thursday evening. Global elite to communism slash fascism, to Second World War, to United Nations. D, file to temporary orders, to to service of process to response to negotiation to trial to order of dissolution or e drinks to panel to that's not so bad you have anything bigger to winning the gold medal in the speed shitting competition well i'm very familiar with c okay uh but uh c is c is not it c is it no c is

it the global elite yeah oh i thought it was the judgment for dissolution oh no no that's d my friend that's my favorite one that's a good one yeah d for divorce i got you yeah i'm right there it's the big d defense now the synopsis of this i could have just left it one sentence so the first sentence could cover it but i did add two more okay every famous rich person in history oppressed africa was the cause of world war one world war two the cold war and the un and the russian revolution so that's that's i could just leave it at that but i'm gonna go on the ross child still control israel also the world health organization decides what population gets infected with what I could just leave it at that, but I'm going to go on. The Rothschilds still control Israel. Also, the World Health Organization decides what population gets infected with what disease.

Then they provide vaccines that cause untold harm to the physical and spiritual well-being of billions. This book, Cecil, is just regret. It has caused me on harm or harm to my spiritual and physical health. I have done some shit that I've regretted. Agreeing to read this book is on the top. No, it's not.

But it's in the top 40. Is Casey Kasem going to count him down? He'll be like, Tom's top four regret is a long distance dedication from his ex-wife. So next week. Yes.

We are super excited. Chapter 12, The Black Sun, is going to be read with us by Stuart from the Exposing Pseudo-Astronomy Podcast. He has already started reading this god-awful chapter and will also be coming with a quiz. So we should really enjoy that particular segment a lot. I think it'll be a lot of fun to have someone else also inflicted with pain by reading this book. In the name of Jesus, we speak that.

Oramana Shanda Karabah. No korimene mele. Jerikedei burushida. Kiliberasam. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. This story is also right-wing watch. This is David Barton, discredited historian. Christian, I'm always going to say it every single time. Fuck that guy. Christians who refuse to vote for Donald Trump will have to answer to God. Here's David Barton.

Yes, David, I do. I'm out here in California, and I'm very involved in Christianity. I really believe really a lot in it. I'm very involved in Christianity. Wait a minute. You're very involved in Christianity. I'm very involved in Christianity. You know what I do?

I get crucified once a week whether I need it or not. Just, you know, every Sunday. It's like a cleanse. I get up there, and I do the vaginal steaming. Sometimes I'll do it on the cross. I don't know. It's Sunday. It's like a cleanse. I get up there and I do the vaginal steaming. And then sometimes I'll do it on the cross. I don't know. You know, it's fun. It's exciting.

Very involved in Christian. What does it even mean? I don't know. I don't know what that means. But you could sort of hear this lady's voice. She sounds like a church lady. She totally does. The way she talks, she sounds like a church lady.

How do I explain to my Christian friends? They're all looking for the absolutely perfect presidential candidate. Well, fucking tell them we don't have one. Like, you know, they're looking for the perfect, I don't care what you, what the fucking next word is.

There's no such thing as the perfect and then noun. That's not something. That's just not a thing. It's like, you're gonna fucking do what the rest of us do and settle. That's it. And I've tried to explain to them. I don't know if I'm doing the correct way. So that's why I'm asking you.

That the only perfect person that I know that could qualify for president of the United States would be Jesus Christ. He's fucking dead. Even according to your mythology hold on a second oh it's amazing jesus christ jesus for president shouldn't you at least be able to like fucking hold jelly beans without falling out of your hands shouldn't that be a prerequisite he goes to slam his hand on the button i can't hit it I can't hit it. I can't hit it. Yeah, it just keeps going right through the hole every time. Use your fingers. I don't want to.

I use my paw. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ for president. Jesus Christ. All right. Yeah, I feel the same way. That's so stupid. What a stupid fucking thing to say.

The only perfect president would be Jesus. You're an idiot. You're a fool. Could you imagine? God. Jesus gets voiped from the fucking back then and now. He's like, wait, I don't. I literally understand nothing.

I don't understand anything Could you imagine First of all I speak Aramaic He's trying to negotiate with fucking like North Korea Just all the different things that he would have to do It would be amazing He's just like look

The fucking high technology was sandals And I know he's running His sense But I mean actual Right here know, like our two candidates. And how do I explain that to them? Explain what to them? Are you their leader? Vote for Jesus.

I mean, is that what you're going to explain to them? But doesn't that? I don't know. But like one has to assume that in this world where she's living, she's the leader. has to assume that in this world where she's living she's the leader like there are people more stupid than this woman who are gathered around her like like blinking fucking dead-eyed dead soulless fucking eyes at this woman like can you tell us who the more best much president is good for us please i can't tell i told told them it was Jesus and they didn't understand because they didn't know how to do a running ballot.

Are you kidding me? She's the ringleader. You can write him in. He doesn't even have to run. Because they will pick out one little thing and say, well, see, he said that or he believes this or that. But I don't think neither one of them are perfect because

as I understand it, I hope I'm doing this right, that there is no perfect candidate on earth, a perfect person on earth. Can you give me some helps on how I can help these people or help me? Some helps? Some helps. Did she ask for more than one help? She did. She asked for multiple helps. Did she ask for helps?

She did ask for helps. She asked for helps on her maths. Understand how to do this? That's a very good approach to what you're doing because there is no perfect person, but often people who say that are looking for an excuse rather than a reason. And so if they're looking for an excuse and not a reason, you're going to have to have about 50 different reasons for them. But that's a good one.

Another one that you can use is, hey, look at Hebrews 11. It's our faith hall of fame. All the great heroes of our faith are there. Ooh, we would never elect them if they were put on the ballot in America, because there's no way you're going to elect David. He's a great king, but yeah, he murdered Uriah. Normally, normally the party will vet you for that. They do vet for murder. That's a little tough in the debate. They vet for murder. Although, admittedly, Trump could probably kill someone right now.

It probably wouldn't damage his chances at all. His supporters would actually draw and quarter the body that he fucking murdered. They'd be like, yeah, whatever he wants dead. It doesn't even matter. Somebody in the crowd would insist on wearing the skin that's just that's just true ask for their picture taken look man david is a great king but he's fucking also a murderer those are your heroes you know my heroes growing up weren't murderers i love the fact that it was amazing he's looking back on this well because fucking he's a bronze age fuckwad.

You know what I mean? Like, yeah, back then it was fucking, you know, it's like the whole world is fucking full of sharks. Yeah, absolutely. You got to fucking kill a few people. Totally understandable. Nowadays, we're kind of frown on that, David. We don't really do a lot of the murdering anymore.

And he slept with the Bathsheba. That's adultery. We can't have a philanderer for president who murdered somebody. So David's out. We fucking impeached Clinton for a BJ. Like, you know. That is true.

And like this guy's fucking murdering and fucking around. He's like, all right, look. And he's like, he seems lamenting. Like, ah, man, you can't do anything these days to get elected president. A little murder, a little adultery. Come on now.

Christians wouldn't vote for David even though God's put him in the Faith Hall of Fame. Faith Hall of Fame. The Faith Hall of Fame. God, it would be a boring Hall of Fame. Can you imagine that museum? Hey, kids, we're going to go to the Faith Hall of Fame. Why are you all killing yourselves? Why are you?

All right, I'll go myself. I'll go myself. I'll go myself. Then we'll go to the Ark. I don't give a fuck. The good thing about the Faith Hall of Fame, though, is that you wind up getting that coupon that you can keep reusing at Chick-fil-A. And that is, I like that a lot. And we sure wouldn't vote for Noah because he had trouble with drunkenness.

Once he got off the Ark, he got drunk and his kids had to cover him up because he exposed himself. Yeah, okay. He had to expose himself? because he exposed himself yeah okay he exposed himself yeah yeah i'll tell you any president that exposes himself is probably not gonna get elected again right or anybody running for office like could you imagine if fucking trump like flashed a reporter or he's standing there like with his dick hanging out at one of the conferences or something like that you can't even like fault noah for his fucking drinking problem he's standing there with his dick hanging out at one of the conferences or something like that. You can't even fault Noah for his fucking drinking problem. He's fucking 900 years old.

He had to watch the genocide of the world. Yeah, yeah. That might leave a fucking scar here or there. A little PTSD, I wonder. Yeah, right? It's like – because the thing is that water recedes and it's full of corpses now. Like the earth is just full of corpses. Yeah, but they're bloated corpses now.

Yeah, drying and popping in the sun like fucking stinky raisinets. They're delicious. Lot, are you kidding? Lot ended up sleeping with a daughter. He got drunk. Jesus Christ. These people are your Hall of Famers? Jesus Christ.

He slept with his daughter? Great book, guys. Caliente. Caliente. Please say it's an adult daughter. please say it's an adult daughter please it's an adult i don't doesn't even matter though i guess i don't know please say it's a stepdaughter i mean if you're gonna wish you're gonna go for something like that you might as well go step daughter or step mom maybe god's got a different standard than what we do. Maybe.

What a fucking insight David Barton is having right now. Maybe God doesn't care about adultery and incest and murder. What does he care about? Maybe God is a Bronze Age war god who fucking really enjoys Bronze Age things. God damn. Like, maybe God doesn't mind when you murder folks and fuck your daughter. Well, then that's our ethical, that's our great moral absolute. Maybe at a national leadership level, there are people who do good things for the nation who have character flaws. Gideon, man, look what Gideon did, and ends up in idolatry actually on the same place where that he

God did the great stuff with the fleece the great stuff, what is he, Trump? he does some good stuff he did it against the bad people he did it against the bad ones for the good ones and he did great stuff the great stuff and the good things

it's so funny because he's completely apologetic when it comes to anybody from the bible you know fucking oh david fucking kills it whatever who cares hey fucking this other guy fucked his daughter who gives a shit but everybody's fucking shitting in their own hands over fucking an email scandal you know what i mean like everybody is fucking it's end of the world when it comes to an email scandal or benghazi or whatever right but when it – we fucking – we have a microscope we're putting the opposite – opposition on. But instead we're – because what he's going to try to do here I think is he's probably going to try to say like, look, nobody is perfect and – I believe it's called po-buddies nerfect.

Well, Trump is – Hang in there. While Trump is not Jesus or anywhere close to Jesus or really says anything that Jesus ever said, he is in fact the best choice. He doesn't have the vocabulary of Jesus' hammer. He doesn't have the vocabulary of Jesus when he's on the cross just swearing. He ends up building idols, and his sons end up following idols. And Eli, the great leader of Israel, he wouldn't discipline his sons, and that's why God took the priesthood away.

But they were great leaders. And so that's another thing you can use is, hey, what God called great leaders wouldn't fit your litmus test, So maybe you need to catch up with where God is rather than expecting God to catch up with where you are. What? So we can have murderers run for office? That seems terrifying. What standards do, like, maybe God wouldn't, fucking according to your list, God doesn't give a shit about anything. What does God even give a shit about? He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

You could do anything. Right. Like, the vetting process for god is probably actually if you're a felon you're better off it seems like it it seems like if you're like a drunken expo like you're walking around drunk killing people fucking your your daughter or whatever exposing yourself carving things right i'm just doing a little fuck whittling that's all all right. Are you kidding me? I love it.

And the other thing to do is it kind of goes back to the concept of voting is not a right. It's a responsibility. They think, well, if I don't participate, that's fine because I've got a conscience excuse. God will understand that I couldn't vote for somebody immoral. Yeah, but that's the wrong approach. The approach is God wants you to be locked in that room with a ballot box and say, don't come out until you vote. Well, how do you fucking invent voting?

How would you know? Fucking voting wasn't a thing. They didn't vote on the next best king. It was all kings back in fucking garbage time when this shit was written. I mean, come on. Welcome to garbage times! It's ridiculous. We fuck our daughters in garbage times!

Who wants to live like that? Wait, what are you going to do? I don't know. I'm probably going to shit outside and fuck my daughter. It's a terrible world. Essentially, it's a caste system, too. You live in a world that's like a caste system garbage world. That's why it's garbage times! Nobody cares. Where you can be conscripted

into the fucking army and get stabbed to death tomorrow. It's a terrible worst world ever. It really is. Where the other side could have iron chariots and you just automatically... And you're just like,

iron chariots. What about if God comes? God can't do fuck all about iron chariots. Can you vote for an iron chariot, though? I'm going to write in iron chariots. And if you have that approach, then you're going to have to find the best you can of what's there and vote for it.

Our founding fathers understood that. They dealt with it in accountability. They believe out of the Bible that we will stand before God one day and we'll answer for everything we've said and thought and done. The verses are very clear on that. Jesus Christ. Everything I've said, thought, or done? I don't want to answer for the things I've thought. How long does it take to go through all that?

Jesus, this review is going to take forever, and I might not even get a raise. I know I'm not getting a raise. I'll tell you what. If it's everything I've thought, I'll just go ahead and save you some time and head downstairs. Right? But the good thing is if you thought of fucking your daughter, you're totally fine. Yeah, well, actually. You're fucking gold. It's like, like well here's some shit you thought of none of that's that but none of it is bad i'll be looking over the fucking shoulder as fucking murdering another person right

yeah all you gotta do is look over and be like wave to david like what's up bro yeah i have not killed anybody i can't wait till they take my picture to put you next to you in the fucking holy hall of fame or whatever the The glory Holy Hall of Fame. And so the way they see it going down is you're there and God says, hey, I gave you your life. What'd you do with that? And we give account. And I gave you your family. What'd you do with that?

We explain that to God. And I gave you your possessions. What'd you do with that? And we have to explain that to God. It's going to take so long. Jesus Christ. Did it? Was he just not paying attention?

And it's just, it's like, oh, yeah, you weren't involved in my life at all. Why the fuck am I answering you? The fuck, man? Maybe fucking literally omniscient. Like, why do I have to say it out loud? Also, can't we just do this in an instant? Why do I have to fucking talk to you? God, no wonder it's eternity.

It fucking takes so long to get through the interview. And then he says, I gave you your country. What'd you do with that? Ooh. Well, I didn't do anything because I didn't like any of the interview. And then he says, I gave you your country. What'd you do with that? Ooh. Well, I didn't do anything because I didn't like any of the... Really?

You think God's gonna buy that? Matthew 25 and Luke 19, the guy who was given something to do and didn't do anything with it, he's the one who got in trouble with the master. And so he's gonna say,

I gave you a vote. What'd you do with that vote I gave you? Well, I couldn't use it for anybody. How much shit did this fucking guy give me? Is it everything I've ever had?

What if I live in a fucking electorally fucking useless state? What if I live in fucking Texas, man? Or what if I live in Indiana that always votes red? Or I live in fucking New York that's always blue, and I'm a fucking total bigot, and I want to be a bigot for God, but my vote doesn't mean anything. Like, I want to be a bigot every time. Like, I would kill a black person, God. You could put him in the ballot booth with me. will smother him with my fucking ballot god but i fucking my vote does nothing now i'm gonna get judged for that what a dick yeah what if what if you like

you you're you live in saudi arabia and you're like you die and you go to fucking interview heaven or whatever and it's like what did you do with your vote? I didn't get one. I lived in Saudi Arabia. You gave me a fucking dick bag king. Sure. I got fucking nothing. What did you do with your country?

Again, nothing. I was investigated by the witch. I don't know. Does that help? You stuck me in this fucking hell hole. Lost four fingers in a chopper offer machine. And again, we're back to Matthew 25 and Luke 19 where Jesus turned to him and said, wait a minute. You didn't do anything with what I gave you at all?

And that's the one who got thrown into outer darkness. Outer darkness. That was a show that sort of mixed the two. It was a mixture of Outer Limits and Twilight Zone. I like it. And it's the outer darkness. It didn't last real long. It the outer darkness. It's a little... It didn't last for long.

It was edgy. It was a little too edgy. Too edgy for me. Yeah, Rod Serling would walk out with a joint in his mouth instead. So that mentality that this is my choice is the wrong choice. It should be this is my accountability.

I will account to God, and I have to vote because he put that ballot in my hand, and I'm going to have to account to him for what I did with it. And I can't use the false standard of I've got to have somebody perfect, because there's nobody perfect except for Jesus. And by the way, when he was on earth, they didn't think he was perfect. We only think he's perfect now. Back then, they called him a wine-bibber and a glutton.

He had all sorts of campaign ads run against him. Yeah, they used to take out billboards back then. Campaign ads? Campaign ads against other rabbis. What was he running for? Rabbi. What the campaign ads? He was running for money changer.

And all he did was he got pissed off because he didn't get it. That's when he stormed in and had his temper tantrum in the temple. Exactly. Started flipping over. Lucky he didn't run for. That's what he stormed in. His temper tantrum in the temple. Exactly. Lucky he didn't run for dog catcher. Jesus. Lucky he didn't run for pig catcher. He runs right off the cliff.

So nobody's going to fit the criteria. So let's get God's mind on this thing rather than finding excuses. Some of that, maybe that will help you, James. Maybe not. Everybody, if they're looking for an excuse, you'll never be able to give enough reasons. Somehow you've got to get their head and their heart together that you will answer to God for what you do with that ballot and what you do with this country.

And at that point, if they don't understand that, then they're not going to get involved at all. He could have shortened that to tell your friends to stop being a bunch of lazy cunts. That was the whole thing. It took that long to get to the point where he's finally just like, yeah, just get out and vote for who you got. Fucking vote. That's it.

But you really have to vote. What he really wanted to express was, please, please, please, please, please, whatever you do, don't let Hillary get in. Yeah, right. Right. That's the whole thing. That's it. This, in a nutshell, is strategic voting. Yeah, and I'm a strategic voter.

In a nutshell, this is strategic voting. So it's not that he's saying anything new, but I think he just maybe had to talk real slow for that lady. Maybe. She's fucking dumbfound. She's going to go back to her coven of dipshits and be like, I don't know. David Barton said vote. Oh, the rest of it I forgot. Want to contact the guys?

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All right, this is also from Right Wing Watch. This is Lance Wallenew. Trump's wall isn't about Mexico. It's about biblical prophecy. So this is, hold on a second, this is a Seven Mountains Dominionist advocate. So just keep that in mind. The Dominionism we've talked about on the show before, but that's that fucking, those are those idiots. Oh, I thought it was like a seven-layer burrito.

I didn't realize. It is not quite so delicious, my friend. Not quite so delicious. The Dominions, remember when they – Yeah, yeah, no. They had fucking arts and entertainment. They always get the purple pipe. They do.

What Cyrus does that is important for us is he makes a decree. He makes a decree, and you'll find it in Ezra, chapter 1, verses 1 through 4. I certainly will not find it there because I find it in Ezra, chapter 1, verses 1 through 4. I certainly will not find it there, because I will never read Ezra, chapter anything, verse whatever the fuck. This is like Ira Glass's brother, right? Ezra Glass? Ezra Glass. The Cyrus decree ends the period of spiritual captivity and deterioration over the territory that he was ruling, over Israel. He opened a gate, Stephen. He opened a gate in heaven with a proclamation

so that all the prophecies and prayers that were stored up for Jerusalem could suddenly begin to be manifested, beginning with the house of God getting revived. Wait a minute, wait a minute. In heaven there was a gate, and in the gate they put the prayers behind the gate. Then they opened the gate and in the gate, they put the prayers behind the gate. Yeah, I know. Then they opened the gate and all the prayers fell out. Yeah, so like when you're a kid and like – did you ever send a letter to Santa Claus?

Yeah. Yeah, so like imagine you have a big bag of letters to Santa Claus. You stand over Jerusalem from heaven and you dump them down like falling snow onto all the children. I hate you. That's how it works. I hate you. I think it's pretty easy to understand. This is like heaven is like some kid who cleans

his room just by stuffing everything in his closet. You know, and like mom comes by and opens the door and then dies. And continuing on through Darius and to Artaxerxes till Nehemiah. What?

What is that? Is that when you choke fuck somebody? Is that what that is? Artaxerxes? Yeah, hey there, sweetheart. Are you into autoeroticism and or Artaxerxes? Artaxerxes. No, I'm going to stick this fucking banana peel up your fucking anus.

That's what that is. Why the peel? Because I ate the banana. I was hungry before you got here. I don't want to waste a good banana. I ate this before you got here. I'm willing to do ass play, but only on stuff that I never have to touch again.

So if you could just shit that into the garbage can, I would be happy. And then if you could take the garbage out on your way out. And spray a little Febreze. Febreze around. If you could do all those things. Totally now.

Who has two thumbs and is ready for ass play? This guy. Your idea of ass play is very strange come on now where's the goat come in i don't know let me tell you on the basis of cyrus decree petition to build the wall and then i started looking at my gosh this whole there's more prophetic dialogue on Trump than Christians realize. This whole thing about building a wall isn't about Mexico. It's about. Walls aren't new.

The wall is, the wall as a concept is not a new concept. We've been building walls. Yeah. For some time. It's like the first thing anybody ever built. It's seriously, I've got a fucking two year old. He fucking stacks a thing on another thing. He built a wall.

Look at him go. Does he throw other Mexicans behind it? He does. Yeah. We have, we, we put little Mexican babies behind it. Yeah. Subjugate early. We just want him to know he's better than they are.

You know, he's saying like, he's not really talking about building a wall in Mexico. No, he's fucking talking about a literal wall, guy. Like an actual wall. Like it's a fucking real wall. Right. He wants to build it. Don't make him into some kind of fucking like prophetic dude who's talking about a metaphorical wall because it isn't fucking metaphorical. He doesn't even know what that word means.

I know. This guy, Trump could not. He could no more build a metaphor than he could build this wall. Mexico. no more build a metaphor than he could build this wall. Mexico, it's about, in the Bible, from my perspective, Nehemiah's project. The Nehemiah project. Yeah, Nehemiah was a bullfrog, though.

He was a good friend of mine. It was to restore the boundaries around that which had collapsed. Well, build a wall better, and it won't collapse. That's what happens in fucking biblical days. You don't have OSHA. They should have had the Mex a wall better and your wall collapse. Man, no shit. That's what happens in fucking biblical days. You don't have OSHA.

They should have had the Mexicans build it and pay for it. That's a hell of a thing to ship the Mexicans over to Israel. They got to ship them right back.

Ship them right back. So rude. Where God's people were concerned. I think that in the Bible, building a wall has to do with like Proverbs 25.

A man without self-control was like a city without walls it's broken down our fiscal situation is are you serious that's what you're going with on this is that trump is fucking metaphorically going to use a wall he's gonna trump is going to use a wall metaphor to fix our fucking economy i don't think either of those things are fucking possible. Okay. Trump is not using metaphors for anything. Right. We've already established that. Yeah.

The man can't use metaphors. He can't use similes. He can't use most of the English language. He is not. He's only qualified to do onomatopoeia. That's it. Boom, bang, zip, pow. He just yelled crunch for 15 minutes.

I don't understand. Our race relations are broken down. Our definitions of sexuality and gender are broken down. I believe that if Trump is allowed to be president, there will be a release of that stored up potential that we've been praying, fasting, and prophesying into I couldn't fucking guess what that means. I'm going to read that. I believe that if Trump is allowed to be president, okay, I got you. There will be release of that stored potential that we've been praying fasting and prophesying into how do

you prophecy into something for the past 20 years for revival in america i literally don't know what that sentence means at all i have no idea what that means again it's referring back to the beginning of the of the thing when he's talking about you know what this means storing up all your goodwill to fucking let it like a squirrel a squirrel with chipmunk fucking nuts or whatever? Yeah, they're keeping in their cheeks. Yeah, absolutely. And then he's going to – Acorn prayers?

Yeah, they're going to ejaculate all those acorn prayers all over America because that's what we've been wanting for 20 years was a president. We've been hoping and praying really, really hard, Tom. That's what it means. And fasting? Well, some people have been fasting. I haven't been. Not the people who listen to Jim Baker, but everybody knows. Nobody in America is fasting.

We're the fattest country on earth. We're terrible at fasting. The Republicans are the fattest ones. I would disagree. I mean, fucking McDonald's now has break fast all day. I think it touches on something else, Stephen, which is interesting about Trump. There's literally nothing interesting about Trump. His hair?

No. No, actually, you got me there. And that is that, and it's a strange territory, I know, but if God can anoint a secular individual, then they are operating, in a sense, with God's wisdom and guidance

on them, and Trump has a remarkable and uncelebrated, I think, perhaps I should say, unappreciated prophetic gifting. Hold on, hold on. What the fuck is prophetic gifting? Is that where you really know what somebody wants for Christmas? Like, don't tell me. Don't even put it on your Amazon wish list. I just know.

I have a gift for prophetic gifting. I have a gift for prophetic gifting. But what if someone has a gift for your gift of prophetic gifting? Fuck. It's like a series of reversing mirrors or something. This is like Inception the gifting. You open up the box and you just get swallowed inside by the singularity you've created. You open up the box and you just get swallowed inside by the singularity you've created.

As a businessman, he kept mentioning to us when I was talking to him about how leadership is vision. It's the ability to see what's unfolding and make something happen. He said leadership is about seeing the future. And then I started realizing what he sees in radical Islam, what he sees with the $ trillion dollar debt that's the point when everything breaks he said what he said what he said to us about the cities in america inner city tinderboxes that are could explode such as happening now what he said about brussels as a community that had been transformed right at the point where the media was picking on him for saying it there was the terrorist incident that happened. He saw the Brexit before it happened.

Oh, my God. All these things are fucking all post hoc rationalizations. Because here's the thing. Fucking Trump has probably said some other shit that none of it has ever come true. Right. And it's not like any of this stuff. Like Brexit isn't something that was like, oh, nobody knew it was going to happen until it happened. It's fucking there was debates about whether or not it should happen.

And then there was polls. And then there was discussion. And then there was talk. And then there was voting. So you had a fucking 50% chance. There was only two options. And then to say fucking a terrorist attack happened somewhere in Europe. I mean, Jesus Christ.

It's not that hard to guess. It's not that hard to guess. Like, all this stuff is super easy. Right. What about all the crazy shit he said? And when I listen to his speech describing in his nomination speech the future, it's amazing to me that the left for Barack Obama all the way through CNN and everybody else criticized his message as being dark and dystopian. When in fact, he's merely describing that like a Churchillian gift. It's either a Churchillian gift or a chimichurri gift.

And a chimichurri is always a good gift. I'll take the chimichurri gift. Chimichurri is always a good gift. Maybe it's a chinchilla gift. You got to fucking give that guy a dust bath. Yeah, or a skinning knife. He'd make a fine coat. He'll make a fine wristband.

He wouldn't make good gloves. He's got those little hands. That's very true. Yeah, little fingers i i think i think that again this person is basically saying oh well look he's got this fucking prophetic vision you know you're saying it's dark but really it's prophetic no it's just dark no he's just picking all the bad shit so he could scare people into voting for him because the way you fucking do that as the fucking party on the outside is you demonize the party that's inside by saying

they did a bunch of scary shit. Well, plus this is like this is this is the master class of the Republican Party. It always has been is to sell fear. Yeah, they've been selling fear like that's that's their that's their that's their fucking go to sales pitch since 9-11. Yeah, even even when they're very, very afraid. What am I afraid of? Just be more afraid. You're not afraid fast enough.

That's the whole exactly even when even when they were running the country they were still selling fear right they weren't they weren't you know you look at a lot of the the democratic speeches when they were running the country for the past eight years like oh yeah fucking it's it's not bad it's everything's good or whatever or at least getting better etc the the republicans were not like that at all they were like terrorist terrorist terrorist 9 terrorist, nine 11, terrorist, terrorist, nine 11,

Barack Hussein Obama. You, and the thing is like, you've got to do that when you don't have, it's funny. It talks about vision when you don't actually have a vision. The Republican party is a party like conservatism as an ideology says, this is no good.

Let's go back in time. Yeah. Right. Let's go back in time and do things the fucking leave it to beaver way right the the fucking and we've talked about this before like they want to go back to a non-existent golden age of americana which was never real and never happened but they all seem to believe that it did but they can't do that if things are going well because people would be like well things are going fine i don't want to I don't want to fucking go back in time.

I'd like to either stay in the status quo if things are fine or move forward with other ideas of progress. Conservatism requires fear in order for it to have any foothold. What is on the horizon? And it's interesting. I mentioned that Trump reminds me of Churchill in a sense. They both look like giant babies. Yeah, they look exactly alike. They're misshapen, lumpy people.

They're giant, lumpy humans. Because Churchill was booed out of office for raising the disturbing point that Hitler was a threat and that Germany had to be dealt with when nobody else wanted to deal with it. That's the reason why they called him in, back out of exile. Because, like Trump, he had a way of agitating people with the perception he had of things to come. Visionary Donald Trump. Those words have never been used in conjunction before. And if they ever get spoken again in this studio, I will murder you. Well, speaking of visionary Donald Trump, let's play a piece of Donald Trump's talk with Bill O'Reilly. We don't want to play the whole thing, but we do want to play the piece where he's talking about talking to police officers.

You wouldn't do that. You keep them in their homes. No, I never said I never even heard the term. I'm not going to put them in a detention center. Well, you cited Dwight Eisenhower. Mr. Trump, you cited Dwight Eisenhower on this program. It was in 1952. Right. Who, by the way – Okay, so what he's talking about here is he's talking about immigrants, illegal immigrants, and they're going to try to put them in a – what currently happens now, fucking Donald Trump has fucking – he's an idiot because he has no idea.

They take these people off the streets. Some of them I think probably justly if they you know were criminals in some way right other people that are not criminals that you know that do get deported for that yeah they're just people right um so they take these people off uh off the street and then they wind up taking them and putting them in these detention centers and they are in these detention centers for a goodly amount of time because they have to go through the court system so it takes them a while that's why these detention centers even exist now bill is telling him hey what are you going to do you're going to make more detention centers because if you start collecting more of these people you have to give

them due process you have to have more federal judges to be there to actually fucking do all the work you're asking this – you're putting a brand new workload on these people, a lot more workload than they currently have. At least that's what you're saying. Now, they're working, and Donald Trump even admits this a little earlier in the speech. We didn't play. He admits that fucking Bush and Obama actually – they actually do – they did do this. They started deporting people. He doesn't think they deport enough people. So what he's going to suggest is to do more work.

Well, you can't just take more work and say, OK, guys, we're just going to give you more work because these people are already staying in fucking detention centers for months at a time just waiting for trial. So you got to get more public attorneys. You got to get more fucking judges. You got to get more public attorneys. You've got to get more fucking judges. You've got to get more fucking detention centers. You have to get more people that are going to be able to – like the security guards that are able to watch them, more planes that have to fly out, more buses to ship them places. You've got to do a lot more work. Yeah, there's more infrastructure required. You've got to do more work. Right, for sure.

And he's saying we're not even going to put him in detention centers. I don't know what he's going to do. You're going to put him in a trebuchet? What the fuck are you going to do with him? Well, he's got this idea, and he'll – I was going to say expoundound on it but you'll just be able to hear him sort of belch it from his face hole he's got this idea that you that the system will just know he always alludes to like this idea that like the system just knows who the good guys are and who the bad guys are and then you can just get the goods and keep their get the bads and keep the goods what do you make him play twister

like how do you figure it out and anytime he's pushed on he's like god they know they know that it's fucking it's just a child's view yeah it's a child's view deported tremendous numbers he rounded them up he did do that he took them out and so when you cited him as an example of someone that you know would emulate that's what the conclusion is yeah i said that it's something that has been done in a very strong manner. I don't agree with that. I'm not talking about detention centers. I have very, very good relationships with a lot of people,

a lot of Hispanic people. We're talking about it. We're going to get rid of the bad ones. The bad ones are going to be out of here fast. And you know there are plenty of bad ones. Gangsters, gangsters. You are, sure. You look at Los Angeles, you see what's happening.

They're going out fast. They're going to be out of here so fast, your head will spin. That's just not even true. The fucking bad ones, as soon as somebody is caught in our criminal justice system, and they're found out to be from another country, an illegal immigrant, and they deport those people. Those people get deported. It's not

like we're like, oh, hey, cool, why don't we just house them? Fucking, they don't do that at all. I know. The guy seems to just have this idea again that like that there's this secret list of the good ones and the bad ones. That you can just walk out and there's a fucking Scarlet G or a Scarlet B on everybody's chest. And you just be like, hey, are you a good one or a bad one? And then you just grab all of them and you don't give them to – but part of me thinks like he doesn't know that you have to give people due process. Part of me thinks he has no idea. He doesn't realize that.

That you have to – that there's a process these guys are entitled to. I don't think he knows or cares. He just thinks that there's going to be a magic gathering of the bad ones. Sure. You know how they can tell the difference though is that if you lift up their shirt, it says good life or thug life. Those are the ways in which you can tell. If they have that. Shirt check.

Yeah. You have to like – It's like foot check when you're in high school. You just walk up like, shirt check. You're going to fucking lift it up and show them your belly. Show them your rock hard six pack. That is not – I will show them my – Belly.

Belly. My pork belly. And the other thing too is he might say something like, oh, we know who these people are. Yeah, you might know who a gang member is who is fucking also somebody who you'd want to deport if you got a hold of him. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you could just instantly be like, oh, great. I fucking know exactly where he's at. Well, plus, it doesn't even matter. Like, if I'm the police right now, right now I can already do this.

As far as the rest, we're going to go through the process like they are now, perhaps with a lot more energy, and we're going to do it only through the system of laws. Okay. With a lot more energy? We're going to use it with more energy. The fuck are you talking about? We'll burn some coal or something, man. I don't know. Fucking solar

power. Is he just going to make them work faster? Is that what he's saying? We're do with more energy good now i want to play you by the way bill that are in existence i know i mean they haven't enforced immigration law since ronald reagan in this country everybody knows that yeah except for fucking everybody doesn't know that fucking obama fucking deported more people than george bush you moron now let's turn to violent crime i want to play a short soundbite of what you said uh recently go more people than George Bush. You moron. Now let's turn to violent crime. I want to play a short soundbite of what you said recently. Go.

The chaos and violence on our streets and the assault on law enforcement are really and truly an attack against all peaceful citizens. If I'm elected president, this chaos and violence will end and it will end very, very quickly. So how? I love even Bill O'Reilly. Fucking Bill O'Reilly. Yeah, the guy who would at this point kill a hooker to have you in office.

Right. Yeah, he would strangle a hooker for you, Don. Let's be honest. He would kill the hooker just for Bill O'Reilly. To be honest, yeah, he probably would just kill her. He would strangle a hooker for you, Don. Let's be honest. He would kill the hooker just for Bill O'Reilly. To be honest, yeah, he probably would just kill her. He's fine. But Bill O'Reilly is doubling down. Like, fucking, what is the plan? I think he's desperate for him to

elucidate an actual plan. I think that's where the desperation comes in. Fucking just please have a plan for one of the crazy things you say. You have in Chicago a problem. Did you know that murders in Chicago are up 50% this year from last year? I know it very well.

And they can't solve it. They can't solve it. State of Illinois, city of Chicago can't do it. You know why they can't solve it? Because I don't think they have the right people in charge. That's easy. They're the right people in charge. That's super easy that you know the best

part about that is is that it doesn't address any of the systemic problems all you're doing is saying what we need is another top-down approach when they'll top down approaches didn't work so real simple well but beyond that it's still a non-answer answer you don't have the right people fucking then who is the right person specifically name the person so we as the people are gonna be like oh your plan is to get tom to be the cop or whatever it is but he never does that all he does is he alludes to categories of people never actual people he'll tell you like in this same clip like i talked to a guy a really good guy the guy was great and that's it well we don't even know who he fucking talked to he didn't talk to anybody he's making it up it's your fucking girlfriend in canada right it's your

fucking hot girlfriend from fucking downstate like whatever yeah doesn't fucking mean anything the thing though that i think that is the most important part that we're missing is the president has nothing to do with the politics in chicago The president can come in and have a strong conversation with Rahm Emanuel, but it's not like the president can come in and say, hey, we need to fix the murder problem here. What the fuck is he going to do? Nothing. As the president of the United States, like you said earlier, there's no jurisdiction here.

What are you doing? Yeah. But he doesn't even have a suggestion. Is he going to fucking mire himself in the minutiae of every major city's fucking problems what i know he's not gonna mire himself in minutiae at all like and i and i am i am the fucking least interested like fucking micromanager in the world like i'm just like oh we have a broad category of problems here are some broad categories of solutions but he can't even get that close.

All right, so specifically, specifically, how do you do it? How do you do it? I know police in Chicago. If they were given the authority to do it, they would get it done. How? You have unbelievable how by being very much tougher than they are right now. To just be tough, you know, be more tough. What does that mean?

Does that mean knock heads? Or does that mean arrest more people? They have police black sites here where you can fucking get arrested and just spend a bunch of time there. Disappear and be beaten. Nobody knows and get beat up. Fucking people get taken away for a long time. Fucking questioned in some weird fucking place. Like, Chicago's fucking shady as fuck, man.

Like, there's some fucking shady shit that goes on in Chicago police departments as it is. They had a guy walking down the street away from the police, got shot fucking 700 times. Do you think that they don't already do it tough, buddy? Right. Like, what the fuck, man? You're an idiot. You're a fucking idiot if you don't think that they're already tough. What are they going to do, man?

Are they seriously going to get a Tommy gun out of fucking the locker to go shoot people with? Because that's really how fucking – that's the only way to escalate the situation, right? Yeah, let him go on though because he'll expound on his point. Oh, I'm sure he will. They're right now. Not tough. I mean, I could tell you this very long and quite boring story. Yeah.

Literally anything you say is long and quite boring, except your little fingers. But when I was in Chicago, I got to meet a couple of very top police. Very top. No, they're not the total top, but they're the very top. God, listening to this man speak hurts everything inside of me every single thing inside i said how do you stop this how do you stop this if you were put in charge to a specific person do you think you could stop it he said mr trump i'd be able to stop it in one week and i believed him 100 yeah sure with fucking martial law shooting everybody on site

there's plenty of ways to stop it in a week none of which are lawful yeah but but even all of that cecil even that even what you just said is more than what he's offering he's not offering anything he talked to a very top cop and the plan is i could stop it that's not a plan that's a declaration yeah hey man what's your plan to build an airplane well my plan to build an airplane is a bill. Flying is a lot of fun. That's not. I mean, they don't even think they're fucking not.

They're just generally related items. Right. How did he tell you how he would be able to stop? He just he wants to use tough. He wants to use tough police tactics. Would you? Bill's like, wait, what? How did he say how?

And Trump's like, I don't fucking know. I don't get into the fucking, I don't get mired down in these details. I just talked to the very top cop. You can't beat them up. You have to have a warrant to arrest them. You have to have. All I know is this. I went to a top police officer in Chicago who is not the police chief.

And he, I could see by the way he was dealing with his people. He was a rough tough guy they respected him greatly i said how do you think you do it he said mr trump within one week we could stop much of this but he didn't tell you exactly precisely that's not how that's when they're different interrogatives you stupid shit jeez you can't somebody needs to stab him with a fucking ice pick in the brain just to fucking prod loose the right words. Isn't it crazy? He just – none of that – it seems like he's fucking lying too to me. He didn't talk to any very top cop.

He didn't talk to anybody. You look at him, you're just like, you're lying, dude. It's why when Bill O'Reilly, who's on his side, backs him into a corner, he's like, I don't know. I talked to a very top cop. Actually, how? Because that's what you want. No, and I didn't ask him because I'm not the mayor of Chicago. But I tell you what.

I sent his name in and I said, you probably should hire this guy because you have. Isn't he already a cop? He's a very top cop. I'm fucking already on the payroll. He's an unemployed, very top cop, very rough and tough cop. Unless he's shorthanding this as hire him for the top position. Well, yeah, maybe. That's giving him the very best benefit of the doubt.

It's the good benefit. Speak. Not the bad benefit. Use clarity. The better one. You know the expression, you have nothing to lose? Look at what's going on in Chicago. It's horrible.

This guy felt totally confident that he could stop it in a very short period of time. So nationwide. It's a little bit like we could win the war a lot quicker if we'd let our generals do the job properly. Which war? I'm sorry. I can't. This guy. The war on carbs, Tom.

Right? Jesus. Which war are we even – I don't even know what war we're referring to at this point. Well, it's the one that we're not using our generals for. Right? Where the general's like, I don't even know what war we're referring to at this point. Well, it's the one that we're not using our generals for. Right? Where the general's like, I don't know. Did anyone ask Trump? Maybe he's got a very top general that we should hire to be a general.

What are you talking about? He's got a sign. Will general for food on the side. Will war for general? That doesn't even make sense. This was a man who was tough. But you have to have a strategy, though. He's just tough.

He's just talking over him, too. He's like, this is a man who was tough. He was very tough, and I believed him. He was very believable. He had those hard, callousy hands. You know, not like little soft little podcast hands. What I'm trying to get is you have to have a strategy. I'm sure he's got a strategy.

I'm sure he does. He said he was a very tough guy. I didn't fucking ask him about it, Bill. Bill, you're supposed to be on my side here. Okay, but you're going to be, if you're president, you're going to have to have your strategy. So let's just take a very micro issue. Attacks on police. All right.

So let's just take a very micro issue. Attacks on police, all right? So they're rising because they're being – police officers in some places are being demonized and now unstable people are saying – And people are being coddled. See, that's his line. That's the line. That's what he wants to run with. And this is what all those people that talk about the regressive left were talking about, right? All those people that were – remember when we had this conversation with Thomas?

We had a conversation on Atheistically Speaking with Thomas about people that were planning on voting for Trump being coddled nowadays and how that's that is a um it's a merit to some of these people who are you know viewing the race as quasi outsiders yeah sure yeah no for sure that his anger his vitriol his hardline stance on everything is you just got to be tougher you got to hit harder. You got to throw bombs at the problem. That appeals to a certain demographic of neanderthalic idiots. Yeah, I wonder about the very concept of that. And we talked about it again on that Atheistically Speaking. We talked about it in depth.

But I come back to it and revisit it and I think we were talking about single-issue voters. I mean you're a single-issue voter if PC culture is the thing that you're voting oh my god you know i mean you are a single issue voter people are being so your president how are you going to stop attacks on police in the present climate how does the president do that anyway ask real nice i mean what do you do i don't know i mean i don't even know if it's i know that the president goes out of his way to say hey man maybe we should stop shooting people or whatever. I know that they can do that, but what is the president – I mean I seriously don't know what the president's job is when it comes to stopping people from attacking police officers. Yeah, I think the idea would be that the president would set a national tone or create some kind of national conversation

which would help to sort of bridge gaps or build unity. I'm guessing. Could there be a law you would think of that would – No, I don't think it would be anything that practical. I think it would have to be more of like a – Because I'm trying to think of like what do you do to the laws to stop people from doing it? The thing is like people aren't looking to the laws beforehand anyway.

Well, there's already laws about shooting at cops. Well, first of all, we need somebody that's going to be a cheerleader for the police to an extent. Right now, I just left the Akron police and some other people and they are terrific people. I left some people and they were terrific people. Some other people were there. They were good people. And they feel like they're being left behind by our leadership. They're not being respected by our leadership and they literally, they don't have spirit. They lose their spirit every time something happens. Your tone is pro-police. How do you stop the bad guys from attacking them? By giving them back your spirit and by allowing them to go and counterattack. I mean,

it's ridiculous what's happening. That doesn't stop a counterattack. Jesus Christ. By giving them back their spirit. Can we go back to that for a second? Here's your spirit, guys. Giving them back their spirit. What are you going to put? Is Trump going to put on a cheerleader outfit and be like, I got spirit to give you?

Be aggressive. Be unlawfully aggressive. That's already the problem. That's That's already the problem. That's like literally already the problem. Like he's like, hmm, I have a grease fire. Maybe more grease. No, that didn't work. Maybe try more grease.

It's really stupid because he's basically saying, look, they need to be able to go after these guys. Well, you don't think the cops go after people that shoot other cops? They send in robot explanation machines. So we want to thank our most recent patrons. We'd like to thank Caitlin, Cohen, Richard, Adam, Gary, Hugh, Marjolein, Casey, Nicholas, Vincent, Jesse, Theo, Hunter, Eric, Boomer, Glory Holio, Jade, Arthur, Liz, Truck Frump. I like that one.

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but we are, he was, he was nice enough to donate three books to this. So the story of God is going to be available. Like I said, on Amazon in October and you get an advanced copy, Jade. Thanks for being a patron. So as you guys know, we recently reached a milestone. We hit our Patreon goal.

The idea is we're going to hire an administrative assistant. We need an administrative assistant because as much as we joke around, this show is a hell of a lot of work for Cecil to do. It looks real hard and I don't want to do any of it. So we need some help. We have received a number of resumes for the administrative assistant position. If you would like to throw your hat in the ring, we're going to give it another week and then I'm going to start calling people that I think based on their resume makes some sense. If you're going to send in your resume I think based on their resume makes some sense.

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Shoot us an email. Again, as an attachment, include your resume. Include the word resume in the subject line of your email so I can find it when I search through our email. If your resume makes sense and I think it's something we're interested in, include a phone number because I will call you. So if you're interested and you want to try to get the job description, the job description is available online right now. It's on our website. If you go to this episode show notes this is episode 312 so you can find it on the show notes uh there uh there'll be a link to it that leads you directly to the portion of our website so uh so we did get a message this is from dave uh and it's entitled the trump nugent hey guys thought i would share something you guys might find amusing i work as a

stage hand in pittsburgh and last week i had the honor of working at Ted Nugent's show. It's gross. Now, the masochist in me had to sit through and watch a good portion of his set, and as you would expect, he did nothing but pander to the NRA, Trump-loving, hunting crowd, and jerk himself off the entire time. It was actually rather impressive watching him suck his own dick, jerk off

the crowd, and play guitar at the same time, so you kind of got to give him that. But probably the most interesting story of the day came from the box office manager i guess before the doors were open there was a group of guys waiting in line with their make america great again swag on talking about trump one of them was asking the rest of them about what they thought trump's recent comments claiming obama founded isis they all sort of gave a non-committed mumble and the one dude was that's just messed up we need our guy to. He needs to stop saying crazy shit like that. So, yeah, even people at the front of the line at a Ted Nugent concert thinks what Trump says is fucking crazy.

I love it. Thank you so much. Man, if that's the fucking – if that is your filter. Dude, that is a low bar. That is a low bar to slink over. low bar that is a low bar to slink over we got a message uh from glenda and glenda works with the ethical humanist society of chicago and they are putting on a little shindig at lagunitas here in uh chicago on september 18th which is a sunday it starts at 5 30 uh tickets are on sale we're going to put a put a link to it

in the show notes. Tom and I are actually going to be there. So if you're interested in showing up, looks like it's going to be a good time. I've never been to Lagunitas. I walked by it a lot when I went to school over there. It's kind of a cool little area. The whole area smells like hops all the time. I'm excited to go if you guys want to come

meet us and raise a pint. It sounds like a good fundraiser for a great cause. So we'd love to meet some of our listeners. And it's going to be – we're going to put the link in this episode's show notes. We are going to try to get with Thomas and Andrew. Thomas, of course, you know Thomas and love Thomas like we do. Thomas is the host of atheistically speaking, the host of comedy shoeshine,

keep going host of Thomas in the Bible. And now the cohost of opening arguments with Andrew Torres. They are both, uh, hopefully going to be on the show very soon. We're going to talk about their show. Um, if you haven't already sub now,

um, opening arguments now has seven down seven downloadable episodes on itunes you can find them um you know if you go to uh thomas uh atheistically speaking i know you can find them there we'll put a link to their podcast on this episode show notes but those guys andrew torres really does know his stuff he does and he's engaging to listen to a great speaker a great speaker. And fun to listen to. And Thomas, of course. We love Thomas on this show.

We think he's great. And then specifically, I've been really getting into Thomas' podcast. Atheistically Speaking is top-notch, top-notch podcast. One of the best podcasts produced by the atheist community for sure. Thomas deserves a listen if you haven't listened before. We are also next week going to have Stuart on. We mentioned this earlier when we talked about Ike. We are anxious to have Stuart on.

Stuart is going to come on and talk about the Chapter 12. I think it's The Black Sun is the name of it. I can't, dude. Really? And I don't think that has anything to do with – Is it Black Hole Sun? Is it going to be a Soundgarden album? Oh, no, no, no.

Yeah, it's just going to be Soundgarden. I was just going to talk about Absentee Fathers. Oh, shit. I don't know what it's about. Oh, my God. I don't know what it's about. I'm just saying. Oh, my God.

Yeah, so I don't know what it's going to be about, but it should be great. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be great. Just like the other 11 chapters of this stinking, fetid turd we've been reading. Hopefully, it's a list of a lot of stuff. It's going to be just a list. This guy was the other guy and they're all reptiles and they're all fucking in bed with each other. So that's going to wrap it up for this week. We are going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.

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