Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 320: What Would JT Do?

Episode Date: October 10, 2016

    JT’s Bog:   Tactical advice from the Dami Lama:   Thanks to Joseph for this image.  And a big thanks to Mike for creating this amazing illustration of The Donald as a dental doll bobble head in reference to our previous episode with Chris Matheson. 

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey Tom and Cecil, this is Vicki. I've just finished episode 317, and do you realize that if, uh, President Trump were to get into office and get assassinated, that means that we would have President Pence. It's a lose-lose situation either way. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance.

Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 320 of cognitive dissonance and we are joined this episode by jt everhard jt is from the www.jtdblogatpathe.com. You can check that out. Uh, JT, thanks so much for being on our show. Oh,

thanks for having me. I made it. I finally made it to glory hole studios. Well, I'm going to Disney world. I'm on, you know, we say,

we always say there is no welcome at, but it protects the knees when you're at the glory hole. So JT, you are a blogger over at pat theos, pay theos blogs. We linked to all the time. We've, uh, we've referenced your blog. We have pointed our list. I did stay away from some of the, some of the stuff you said about the, the skepticon

conference. We'll just go ahead and avoid that. Uh, but we, we, we, we, we do read the other stuff in blogging. I've always wanted to like, get away from the idea of trying to please the populace to make money. Telling the truth as I see it, I value that over making a living. I probably shouldn't. Yeah. I know all the words in that sentence.

It suddenly seems like you had a realization there. Yeah, Cecil's looking over at me. I'm just like, no, man, I'll say say fucking i'm just looking for a chance to sell out like i'm just waiting for somebody to waive the appropriate check that's why i wish there was like real demons i know we're gonna be talking about this in a second but i'd be at a crossroads right now oh my god if there was a devil who'd be like i will give you lots of money like um where do i sign all of my soul away right how do i do this like can i parse it out so that i can sell pieces now keep pieces for later like i'd negotiate that time share your soul right are you kidding me

no i mean i'd drive a good bargain this is like the way i always envision the devil is like god's creating the earth like he's up there in the workshop and like the devil pre-fall is just like leaning over his shoulder me like cancer really like are you sure god gets all but hell was created but like i'll sell my soul to that guy you bet right guy who thought can't shit idea i'm down he's looking at the soul he's like you're gonna eat that he's talking to guys like cancer really do we give it to kids too yeah kids kids like no shit like like little ones like eyeball cancer you know later you're gonna tell these guys you love them right

we wanted to talk about a story that you wrote uh this is uh from september the 20th of this last year uh this is a sad story. It's very sad. It is. I'm missing this guy already. I know. We covered this guy about, I don't know, a year or two ago. Yeah, he wasn't terribly prolific then, but he's evidently had a real big last year of his life. He worked out a lot. This guy worked out a lot.

He did a lot of CrossFit. Oh, he's fucking huge now. No, he's not injured. You see the CrossFit? He's a priest. As huge as a corpse can be. He's bloated? Are you saying he's bloated? What's up, bro? You look a little swole. Yeah, that's actually gases building inside of my body. That's the inevitable.

I came up with that right after cancer. It's going to smell terrible. So the headline for this story is Catholic Church's Top Exorcist. I like that there's a top exorcist. I'm going to stop myself. There's a top? like, how are they ranked? Yeah. Like, what is the ranking system? Do they have an ERA or something? No, they have to

go up against each other in like a single limb bracket. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just said ERA. I don't know what it means. And I deserve credit for that. That's a baseball reference. Can I get some credit? Bravo. Well done. Thank you very much. That was a sporting term. You just alienated all our black fans. Nicely done. Good job, buddy. We don't have any black fans. My sports thank you very much. That was a sporting. You just alienated all our black fans. Good job, buddy.

We don't have any black fans. My sports balled so hard. Good job. Catholic Church's top exorcist passes away before ridding the world of Harry Potter. Oh, fuck. I know. I know. I would have been thankful. You would have been wrong. Harry Potter is wonderful. I will hit you with a bludger, sir. This guy was railing on Harry Potter at the exact same time the Catholic Church was shuffling around child rapists. Priorities, JT.

It's priorities. They're both using their wand. I wonder if he was talking to God and he was like, shouldn't we be working on this? God's like, no, Harry Potter, man. Trust me on this. The thing is it affects kids either way. This is just a kid-focused program. It's just whether or not you expelliarmus into them or expelliarmus out of them.

Really, that's the only – Fuck. That's it, man. Try to focus on Harry Potter and then goes and tells Michelle Bachman and Mike Huckabee to run for president. The Catholic Church is like literally Charlie Brown. No matter how many times Lucy pulls away the football, they're like, no, he loves us. Well, I like this guy because he has been waging a war against demons, and it looks like he has sort of exercised, what, 160,000 demons, which seems like a lot jt i actually did the math on my blog and it's something

like assuming he never slept i never went to the bath never did anything but exercise demons from the time he popped out of his mother's womb until he died at 91 it was something like three an hour i've never done anything 160,000 times. That sounds exhausting. That sounds fucking... That is a lot. He's got to... And the thing is, you see this guy, you look at a picture of this guy, and you're like, this guy isn't fast. This guy isn't fast at anything.

The only thing this guy was fast at is how quickly his heart stopped when he died. That was it. He got 90,000 of the 160,000 in the back five years of his life really because in 2010 he claimed to perform 70 000 now he's up to 160 000 in 2016 so i think the average human lifespan is like 23 000 days like this guy was on it holy shit he was right that's the thing but like really like he put 90 000 demons back in hell 90 000 do you in the last six years

now jt do your calculations include his entire life like so you you average his entire so he was expelling three demons an hour as a baby too yeah yeah oh wow he was like a prodigy jesus good for him you know i think maybe we were all fooled by movies like that but you know i mean it's not to be surprised that hollywood tells you that you know exercising demons know, I mean, it's not to be surprised that Hollywood tells you that, you know, exercising a demon is a lot of work and it's very difficult and sometimes priests jump out windows.

Shit gets real. This is just, it's clearly, this is fucking easy-ass work. Yeah. I think if I was, I wouldn't even brag about this. If it's like,

yeah, I fucking, I've done 90,000 in the last six years, I'd be like, well, great, it's fucking easy work, bro. Yeah, dude, that's like breathing.

Right? I don't fucking, nobody's impressed if it's that easy. It's like, I mean, that's like your record for jerking off like and nobody's impressed i jerked off three times today yeah it's wednesday nobody cares nobody cares like what he had an extra 15 cumulative minutes of string together wednesday i do five so uh so and in this article too they talk about possessed people and how they act and he's talking about from their mouths anything can come out uh pieces of iron as long as a finger

but also rose petals so here's what kills me like you remember how back in the 1980s like every issue of the inquirer was like, oh, are aliens visiting us? It'd be some like blurry picture of a fucking Frisbee, right? Yeah. Then like as we got smartphones and everybody was carrying around a high res camera and a portable video camera, suddenly the aliens stopped visiting. Did he never think to pull out his freaking cell phone and be like, look, behold, a possessed person. Did he never think to pull out his freaking cell phone and be like, look, behold, a possessed person. Hey, whoa, whoa, JT, can we just relax a little bit?

The guy only had 160,000 opportunities to do that. You know? 160,000? He's like taking a shit plane, like two dots. He's like, oh, I could take a picture of this, me expelling this demon from my body but i'm not gonna it's like an amazing unbelievable supernatural spiritual experience is going to happen to me every 18 minutes maybe maybe just fucking once he'd wear a gopro i know put a fucking body camera on and we can sometimes even convince a cop to do it once in a while yeah he gets a picture of them drooling like see they're possessed like what about the iron and

the rose petals dude what kind of pussy ass fucking demons like make them poop rose petals out of their mouth like really like all the other demons are like rose petals really that's what you got you got you got burping rose rose petals? That demon is a fucking... That guy's getting beat up and fucking in the hell. Can't you even just do green porridge? Is that a possibility? If that demon is inside me, I don't even want an exorcism. I'm going into Las Vegas and I'm

joining Penn and Teller's show. I'm making me so rich off this demon. That's your symptom of demon? What do you do? I smell like potpourri. Okay. Like, my breath smells like grandma's house. Like, that's your fucking big demonic superpower?

This is like the ways of the gods, though, man. Like, back in the day, like, when God was doing his thing, it's like seven plagues of Egypt imparting the Red Sea. And nowadays it's like, I showed up on toast. That's all I got. Back in the day, like, yeah, head spinning around 360, green porridge. Now it's like rose petals, man. I've got left. You know, and another thing, too, these fuckers hate yoga.

What the fuck is with all these people who hate yoga? Tom and I have said many, many times yoga pants are the greatest thing humanity has ever created. I don't know. I find the correlation between people who do yoga and vegan-gelicals. Vegan-gelicals? I love that. I love vegan-gelicals. That's amazing.

With like their crystals and their chi and like all sorts of other shit that annoys me to be astronomical. There's a lot of chakras and coconut oil going on, right? But look, I'm willing to forgive chakras and coconut oil for a flexible woman with a buxom ass, right? It's like I could pin my fucking heels behind my head and I got an ass that you could drop a fucking quarter off of it. It bounces across the street. By the way, do you want to hear about my third eye?

Yeah. I want to penetrate your third eye. Are you kidding? Yeah. I'm not listening. Your third eye. Well, fucking tell me all about your third eye and your brown star and all the rest of it. I'll fucking Chaturanga you across the street. You want to hear an interesting story? Yes. Yes. All the time. So I used to be an opera singer, right? And so when I'm studying in college, like I learned you've got to like tuck your butt under to support the sound. For a year straight, my first voice teacher made me sing with a quarter in my ass. I'm not even joking. Wow.

That's crazy. Do you get a refund for that every time? Was it the same quarter? Because it comes to a point where you're like, I'm done singing. I dropped the collection plate and then brought in a whole new quarter. You give that to the toll booth operator, you're like, I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. Here we go.

Here's my stinky ass quarter. Wednesday I had Indian food. Here's a dollar. As if being white doesn't make me tight-ass enough. Yeah, I've got a quarter dropping out of my ass. The Catholic guy shows up and thinks I'm possessed. He shows up and... I'll tell you what, if that demon's shitting quarters out of my ass,

I don't want to be exercised. Are you kidding me? I'll take it. Yeah. If we can up the eddy a little, just a little bit, if I can get a fucking half dollar out of them, I can retire. I'll make an extra $1.50 an hour. I don't know what dollars make.

This is doubling my income. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow-colored wrapper for your Whopper. So this story is more Brian Fisher, fucking Brian Fisher, diversity and multiculturalism.

Get your head out of your hands. I can't not do that. Get your head out of your hands. You're going to play the fucking home version. I can't not massage my eyes in hope that they don't fucking roll right out of my head. I love it. When I hear some of these. I'm going to read this out. Diversity and multiculturalism.

Again, with the eyes and the rubbing. Our gods curse upon America because we have become utterly evil? That's right, Cecil. Diversity is evil. Diversity. No. Diversity is the curse for being evil. Oh, you're right.

It's even worse than that. It is. And diversity is the punishment. Diversity is the punishment we are receiving right now. Don't make me show you other viewpoints. No. No. But then I would question myself.

This proliferation of languages where people cannot talk to each other, this represents a curse from God. Different languages. Different languages are a curse from God. But they do think that. I know because of the Tower of Babel thing. The Babels. Yeah, I know. When they babled up. The Babel and the Bibble. They tried to build a fucking rock fucking tower.

A rock tower. Tom, a rock tower to the stars. Wait, is that like a rock lobster? A rock lobster? Gonna build a tower. Up to God. Gonna build a tower. Up to God! Give him a hug. He'll knock down our tower.

He's kind of a dick. Rock tower! Babble babble babble babble babble babble babble Rock tower! That story is fucking retarded. That story is so stupid. That story is fucking retarded story is the story is the literalists you with i mean the best thing about biblical literalists is you have to be like wait a minute you know that we have we have set dinosaurs on fire and blasted ourselves to the moon right like and we didn't bump into god's ass on the way up there. So you think that somebody is going to build,

like they're going to stack that next rock, and they're going to look over the cloud and be like, he's over here, guys. It's even worse than that. It's like, what's the foundation for your rock tower? Fucking where do you fucking get? As it gets taller, it needs to become exponentially wider. Rock engineering.

Rock ziggurats. It's fucking not a fucking tower, you twat. At a certain point, it's got to be the size of the United States of America. We don't have mortar yet. We're using mud. Oh, there's

a cold front. Guys, people are so stupid. Are they as stupid as singing the B-52s to their story? Because that's pretty stupid. It's real funny, though. Oh, God. God, it's pretty stupid. It's real funny though. That's so great.

I like that both of us, when we did it, did a little swingy arm dance. It's so funny too because nobody can see us doing this, but every time we do a rock tower, we have to swing your arms. You can't just say, you can't just look at your mic and do it. You've got to do a little dance when you do the rock tower. It requires the rock tower.

Somebody's got to write a whole song about Babel with that guy doing that. That would be so amazing. I call it Elvis. I call it Elvis. Don't leave the building, Mike. I'm calling on you, boss. We're seven seconds in. I know.

We're just fucking. But the Tower of Babel is the most asinine story in the world. And that's why there were other languages. It's like a fucking, it's like an Aesop fable or whatever. You know what I mean? And then the fox hated the fucking rabbits forever. Sour grapes. What's so awesome is it's such a stupid way to decide whether or not you have fucking other languages.

And the worst part is, is there's fucking human beings walking around that not only think that we stuck everything on a fucking arc and it survived, but there's also people like, yeah, and then they built a rock tower and it fucking fell over. And then suddenly everybody's like, hey, forget about it. This is not a blessing from God. This kind of diversity is not a blessing. This kind of multiculturalism is not a blessing. It is a curse.

But God may allow that because he has to protect us from ourselves. What could that possibly mean? Again, protect us from ourselves with the fucking Babels. I'm telling you, this is what he's talking about. Just go because I can't. I'm going to puke listening to this. Because if we continue to communicate with one another in the same language, we can concoct plans that will be a menace to everything that is good,

everything that is right, everything that is holy. They built a fucking tower, man. They built a fucking tower, man! They built a... It was a fucking tower in your story! It's not... They didn't build a fucking nuclear bomb! They didn't build a death ray! They didn't fucking...

They didn't do anything! They didn't build a sun-killing nuke! Built a fucking tower! Newsflash, dickhead! We have towers! Like, we have towers. Like, we fucking have them. Like, they fucking exist right now. Like, I can fucking go up to the 104th

floor, the fucking Willis Tower. It's even called Tower. Like, it's in the fucking name, man. But when you come down the elevator, do you speak a different language? Depends on what elevator I use. Right? Yeah, I i mean if you have to use if you have to use a service entrance you gotta speak mexican i mean that's just how it works you don't

have to use a service elevator you're white oh shit no but seriously like fucking are you serious oh we if we could talk to each other what okay so we can't concoct that plan with 350 million people or how many how many people in the world do you think speak english right now probably let's say let's just give it a round number of say three billion people speak english i don't know what that number is i'm guessing what that number is we can't reach that critical mass with only three billion we have to have if it's seven billion that speak fucking english then we're fucked i i don't but i think what he's saying is in america specifically because he's talking about America,

he's saying that if everybody in America could communicate with each other, then we would do more evil shit. So it's like, what are you saying? Like, if all, if fucking, if we could understand the Mexicans, we'd be like, what would we do? What would we do? I speak a little Spanish.

You know what they're usually asking for? A job! I was wrong. It's 1.5 billion speakers of English. We can't reach the critical mass of speaking English on this world to concoct the weird shit that he thinks we're going to concoct. Right. We have to have diverse languages in order to prevent us from creating something just in case we got to 7 billion and we can communicate here's the other thing dipshit you can still communicate if somebody

speaks another language you could just learn their language that's how it works but then we'd come up with evil menacing shit he just said if we could all communicate we come up with evil menacing shit we can already all communicate but we also all have menacing shit! Like the world is full of menacing shit! It's not like we're like, oh, fucking everything is roses because we can't understand what the Mexicans are saying. Are you kidding? Well, it's roses because you can't hear their pleas for help. Oh, Jesus Christ. And everything that is just.

And so God, I believe, is allowing this proliferation of languages in the United States. It's a bad thing. It's not a good thing. You know, I've always been a fan of insisting on assimilation. I think we ought to do that. I think we ought to insist that people come to this land, that they learn English. In fact, I think we ought to have literacy tests before we allow them to immigrate to the United States. They ought to prove their ability to be literate and fluent in English before we let them in. We don't have

a national language. We don't have a national... We're a fucking nation of immigrants. This argument has been going on since the fucking beginning of America. This is a ridiculous argument. This is a ridiculous, ridiculous argument.

I mean, that is so insanely, insanely offensive. We ought to have a literacy test for a so insanely insanely offensive we ought to have a literacy test for a nation of immigrants it doesn't even have a declared language what what would you do so you're saying that if you're so underprivileged let's say you never learn to read even in your own language you can't take the fuck then that but he would say fuck off bro don't come here we come here. We don't want your... Yeah, fuck give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to be free. Brian Fisher's like fucking slapping them with his fucking dick.

Like, get out of here. Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap. He doesn't give a shit. I got your rock tower right here. I mean, part of it's a matter of public safety. They got to be able to read street signs. They got to be able to read traffic signs. Oh, fucking go kill yourself. All the Mexicans can't to read street signs. They got to be able to read traffic signs. Oh, fucking go kill yourself.

All the Mexicans can't read the street sign. Fuck off. It's a romance language. You can fucking figure it out. You know what's awesome is. It's a fucking Latin root, you cock. I go down to, there's a thing called, I don't know exactly what the name is. I think it's called Maxwell Street Market.

Yeah. I'm not sure what it is, but it's over, they block off an entire street. And it's not Maxwell Street either market yeah i'm not sure what it is but it's it's it's over um they block off an entire street and it's not maxwell street either it's a different street uh they block off displayings it's on displayings in chicago um but they block it off and they have vendors come out and it's like a little shit show vendor play it's like a fucking flea market right so all these people come out and sell fucking socks and old tapes and fucking some tools and just all kinds of stuff. And there's like a hat vendor and a cheap purse vendor. It's a garbage market.

It's a garbage market. And they also sell food there. So there's some food vendors. They're all Mexican food vendors. And then they sell some groceries. They'll sell boxes of tomatoes or things like that. Sure, yeah. So you just walk down the street, and everybody there guaranteed is possibly, almost certainly bilingual or at least close to bilingual when it comes to English because they have to be able to communicate with their customers.

But they're almost all Hispanic. Not Hispanic. They're all Mexican. They're not fucking, nobody from Spain is over there. You know what I mean? They're all Mexicans. Nobody from Ecuador, right? Mostly Mexicans.

Yeah, Mexicans. And so you just walk down the street. But then there's also other vendors there that are Chinese, and they speak Spanish, right? Because I live 12 blocks from Chinatown, okay? So the people from Chinatown come up, and they sell stuff on the street. And it's awesome to be standing there watching a Chinese immigrant talk to an American, a Mexican immigrant in Spanish.

Yeah, right. You know, yeah, I think that's awesome. I love that about where I live and where I what I live near. I love that idea that I get a chance to interact with all these different cultures. I get to have, you know mexican breakfast made by you know these women who that's what they do they have a fucking old fucking top for a griddle that's got fire underneath and it's just like an old door or something i don't even know i don't even know at a certain point you don't even ask you're just like whatever just cook it up but they're making a hand-pressed tortillas and they're making up all this food and you know it's their culture but i'm enjoying it i'm getting to reap the benefits of their culture and get

exposed to something that i don't normally get because my country allows people to be here that aren't like me and that's enriching to me right because that's what one of the fucking major advantages of being an immigrant nation. I mean, we are a nation made of immigrants exclusively. That is how we built, that is how this country's history post the native peoples, which is destroying those guys, but they don't count now. But that is like, that's one of the great strengths of this country, right? One of the great strengths of diversity is, you know, all the blending of ideas, the blending of culture, the blending of language, the blending of music, all of the blending of the arts, you know, a diverse background of ideas.

There's fucking real value in that. There's incredible value in that. And this guy's looking at him being like, well, I don't know what the Mexicans are saying. And I'm fucking scared of other people. And I'm super mad about that. Right. Yeah. And he's just scared, right?

Because where does anger come from? It comes from fear. It comes from fear 100% of the time. And you know what? This motherfucker probably orders pizza on the weekend. Right. You know what I mean? This motherfucker goes out to Chinese food.

Yeah, right. You don't fucking eat your fucking dumplings or whatever the fuck Brian Fischel, whatever the fucking shitbag country fucking shat you out. Whatever nationality you are, you don't just eat your fucking boiled cabbage or whatever the fuck Brian Fischel, whatever the fucking shitbag country fucking shat you out. Whatever nationality you are, you don't just eat your fucking boiled cabbage or whatever. Are we all supposed to, like, if we're not fucking specifically English immigrants, like, it's just it doesn't count? Like, the German immigrants,

like, all the other, you know, Western European immigrants, they get some kind of more fair say? Like, why? Why? Because they're fucking white. He doesn't want to say that shit. He doesn't want to say it out loud. He doesn't want to say it because they're white.

Yeah. It's just a matter of public safety. So anyway, I'm all for that. And it's clear from numbers, or from Genesis 11, that this profusion of languages is what, which is increasingly what we are having in the United States. We're having greater and greater balkanization. We're having these communities where thesealkanization. We're having these communities where these little enclaves of people who speak a language but don't communicate with

their neighbors. They have their own culture, their own customs. There's no integration. There's no assimilation. And it's bad. See, that's bullshit. That's a lie. That's bullshit. Your story destroys that. And the other thing, too, is I am completely welcome to go to Chinatown. I can get on two L stops away from Chinatown. I can go down there and have a meal. I can go down there and walk in and out of the shops. Nobody looks at me with some kind of fucking goofy evil eye. What the fuck are you doing here?

That's why they have shops. They don't point at me and scream white devil. You know what I mean? I go down there and they say, awesome. Would you like to buy a really cheap, shitty cleaver? They're trying to sell me junk. They're trying to sell me food. They're trying to, you know, maybe it is a buying relationship.

Maybe it is a consumer relationship. But that doesn't mean that they reject me wholesale from their community. They don't spit me out. I can go to any community here vietnam community i could go to i could go to uh ukrainian village i can go to there's all these like chicago is i don't know about other cities because i don't know a lot about other cities but chicago has tons of ethnic communities in it that are little tiny ethnic communities that have tiny ethnic little restaurants that are amazing and it's like and you're totally welcome in these places, you know?

But he's scared of those places, and that's why he's saying that, because I think what his argument here is is that that's a bad thing. I think what his argument is, Cecil, is that exactly what you've described and that you see value in, he sees that as a negative thing. He sees those enclaves, right, to use his word, he sees those enclaves as exclusive. Yeah, but they're not exclusive. I know, right? But they're exclusive to him because he's a chicken shit, right? I guess his word, he sees those enclaves as exclusive. Yeah, but they're not exclusive. I know, I know,

right? But they're exclusive to him because he's a chicken shit, right? I guess, maybe, yeah. He's not going to go to Pilsen and get himself a fucking burrito, right? Because he's fucking scared. And he's not going to go to the Ukrainian village and get himself some fucking food there because he's a fucking chicken shit asshole. What he's going to do is go to the fucking Olive Garden, right?

Like, that's all. He's just going to walk around the Olive Garden and he's going to fucking complain that the bus boy is Mexican. That's what He's just going to walk around the Olive Garden. He's going to fucking complain that the bus boy is Mexican. That's what he's going to do because he's a dick. He's going to build a tower of bread with a never-ending bread. Never-ending bread? I'll see you in an hour, God. But God allows it

because the confusion of languages is a check on the evil that otherwise a nation would do. And I think that's what's happening here in America. Why would the ability to communicate be an evil? You're such a fucking fool, too. Seriously.

Because I can't easily communicate with someone else who speaks another language. It's not impossible. Technology is moving forward much, much more quickly than we realize with stuff like this. There was that Babelfish thing that the people

put in their ear, that little thing that we're working on. There's Google Translate on my phone. I can communicate much easier nowadays than I ever could ever before. And back in the day, you used to have a fucking Spanish to English dictionary you could look through.

You didn't understand that word? What is that? He's saying that the ability for cultures to cross-pollinate is an evil thing. Why? I know, but he's— That's an amazing thing to say. Not only that, but he's also saying it's—he's making it seem like God is doing this work to stop us from communicating. So he makes us speak different languages.

Well, we already figured out the fucking, we solved that maze. We solved it, man. You're terrible at this. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website,

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Stitcher or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This is from James Lee Peterson. James Lee Peterson? Yeah, you don't know him? He's a right-wing activist. I've never heard of him either. Okay.

This is a sermon he gave. Intellectuals are absolute nutcases. And I noticed that the people who are really into the intellect. I'm sorry. Let's stop right here. Stop already. People who are really into the intellect are nutcases. I want to hear that again, though, because it says intellectuals are absolutely nutcases.

So let's just see if Right Wing Watch nails it. I also love, hold on, he's got a fucking lazy eye and he looks crazy. He looks, I'm sorry. You're like, Pastor, I'd like to get blessed. And then you take three steps over when he looks at you. No, I'm over here, Pastor. Stop moving around. I can't find

you. He totally does have a lazy eye. One is, one's looking this way, the other one's looking the other way. He's a wobble fish, man. He looks crazy. Can't sneak up on this guy no matter how hard you try. And I noticed that the people who are really into the intellect.

He can't even pronounce intellect. He's called it intellect. He listened to him again. He says intellect. He's so derisive of the intellect that he won't even pronounce it properly. The intellect. Is that a Decepticon? Fuck, it's intellect.

And I noticed that the people who are really into the intellect. He gives up mid-word. He's like, the intellect. Quit. It's not me the lindelof. Quit. It's not me, as it turns out. Yeah, I hate people that think. Nut cases. Absolute nut cases.

What is with this editing? It looks so great. What is with this editing, dude? Why do they cut to absolute nut cases and then cut back? You people have to watch this video. Why do they cut to absolute nutcases and then cut back? You people have to watch this video. This guy looks like the fucking guy Forrest Gump dragged out of the fucking bush in the movie with the Bubba Gump stuff.

It looks like the guy's going to be telling you about fucking shrimp and fucking rice in a few seconds. This is a man who's got a face for radio. Why does he have a television voice? I don't know why anybody is. He doesn't have a voice. He doesn't have a voice for radio, though, because he can barely pronounce. He has nothing for a communicating medium. He has no qualities. He has zero qualities.

Maybe he could write a really nice sign and stand on the side of the road. That's probably about it. He like twirls. Liberty tax. Because of this intellectual thing taking over and the people rule us, we now have so-called

same-sex marriage. Wait, it's not so-called. It is called same-sex. So-so-called. I think because he would say it's not marriage, right? I think these guys think it's same-sex so-called marriage, not so-called same sex marriage. He's not a man who appreciates a sharp intellect.

Because that needs to be distinct, right? Because when you say so-called same sex marriage, it's like, oh, yeah, they're saying it's same sex marriage, but it was really a guy and a girl. Right. No, I know. He's got the so-called in the wrong place, for sure. But again, this is not a man who appreciates a sharp intellect. called in the wrong place, for sure. But again, this is not a man who appreciates a sharp intellect.

He just gives up. You know why he gives up in the middle of intellect? It's because he transforms mid-intellect. Like, into... Maybe he read the ruling with his lazy eye and got bored halfway through. That would happen if we weren't into the internet?

Once more with feeling. I can't do it again. I love this man. I can't do it again. We're 16 seconds. I haven't done anything with this clip at all. I just can't do it. It hurts so much. Let me hear him say it again.

Let me hear him say it again. It's like fucking pillow talk for the show. That would happen if we weren't into the intellect. I don't have to say anything. Here's the thing, Tom. I don't have to say anything. Here's the thing, Tom. I don't have to say anything, and he barely has to say anything. Clip of the year.

Oh, that's amazing. It's like every time he starts to speak, his mouth gives up. It's like, no, fuck you. I'm not saying this stupid shit. No, fuck that. I'm on strike. His mouth's like, I'm underpaid, motherfucker. I love people who are anti-intellectual and want to tell you about it because that means they're giving you their thoughts common sense would dictate that is not going to happen and common sense wouldn't care what you

thought about it common sense wouldn't care what you thought about it is common sense like an entity is that what he said i think that's what he said incompetence wouldn't care what you thought about it? Is common sense like an entity? Is that what he said? I think that's what he said. I thought he said incompetence wouldn't care what you thought about it. Oh, maybe you're right. No, I have no idea if I'm right. Don't give me credit. Let's listen. Common sense would dictate that is not going to happen. And common sense wouldn't care what you thought about it. You were right. Common sense. Because we would know that that's wrong.

And we would have compassion for the people who are locked into their lifestyle because there are some who would like to overcome it, but they don't know how, and the intellectual person doesn't know how to help them overcome it. How does this guy have a job where he speaks to human beings? I have no idea. How the fuck did he just get back from the dentist?

What the fuck? Seriously, this is his job. Did he just get back from the dentist? What the fuck? Seriously. This is his job. He does speak like a man who has just beaten severely with a golf club. I can't believe this guy gets paid money to talk. Oh, God. Unbelievable. He is extravagantly bad at this. If when he opened his mouth, he just went...

It would be more intelligible than that. He's a screech owl. He is. We're only 40 seconds in on this thing. I heard so much. God. Because of the intellect, we now have drag queens running around in the military. Do women even get different outfits?

They don't get special uniforms. So then how could you be a drag queen? You just wear a fucking unisex uniform. Right? I mean, they don't wear skirts, do they? They're like fucking climbing over a wall in a skirt. Yeah, right? Battle dress skirts.

It's a unisex outfit, right? It's pants and a shirt. It's literally impossible to be a drag queen in the military. Maybe the boots have heels, like higher heels. I don't know. I'm fucking, I have, it's. You're wearing a fucking sports bra? What are they doing different?

You wouldn't even be able to tell. Like, I could be wearing a sports bra right now. I feel like you should be wearing a sports bra right now. I probably should be wearing a sports bra right now. Can you imagine jumping down in a foxhole running from Bin Laden? I wouldn't run from a dead guy. Why would I run away from dead people?

Bin Laden's fucking super dead. Bin Laden is super dead. He's been dead for kind of a while now. Although I guess... They turned him into a piñata. If I saw his fucking waterlogged zombie corpse I would run from it. I'm thinking of Saddam Hussein. They turned him into a piñata. They turned Bin Laden into a whack-a-mole.

And then they just, what, did they burn him and throw him off a thing, or did they just bury him in the sea? Yeah, they just dumped him in the ocean. Supposedly, because he's a false flag attack. They pirated him. They fucking took out his eye and fucking yard him. They threw him overboard with his parrot.

And then here's a man in there with a dress and lifting gun. What? Hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Here we go. Here we go. Can you imagine jumping down in a foxhole running from Ben Lotton? And then here's a man in there with a dress and lifting gun. Was this guy a boxer? I think he has the repetitive concussion disease. I have. That was amazing.

Seriously. That was amazing. No, was he a boxer? It would shock you. You'd rather be out with Ben Lotton. I would not rather be out with Ben Lotton. That doesn't even make any sense. Like, what the? There's an audience listening shock you. You'd rather be out with Bin Laden. I would not rather be out with Bin Laden. That doesn't even make any sense. Like, what the? There's an audience listening to you.

You heard him kind of rustling around a little earlier. He's on a stage in front of a people. There's an audience listening to you. Humans, presumably humans, not caged animals or, like, penguins in suits. That'd be an adorable, adorable crowd. It'd be a great audience. I would love to give a speech To a bunch of penguins Then he could say to them

Then I could talk like Burgess Meredith I'd still make more sense than this guy But that's the intellectual world around us You want to live by the intellect of God. His intellect is greater than that of your father, the devil. His intellect is greater than that of your father and the devil.

Why are you dissing on my dad? Like, why is he coming after my dad in this? I don't understand. I really... This is a genuinely stupid human being. Oh my, yes. And he is so stupid that he is extolling... He is actually extolling the virtues of stupidity. He is. That is his thesis.

Be more stupid. That is the summation of his argument. Wow. And you can't even look at him as if he were, say, having a Socratic mindset, right, where Socrates said, I know nothing, and therefore I'm smarter than the other people. Sure, right. He's not even doing it in that sense, right? And that's why we have to fall away from that. The intellect is like being traumatized as a kid.

You know how kids can tell and see things. They are not afraid to speak the truth. But by the time they are 10, they become just like the parents, lying and deceiving. They have fallen away from God's intellect of the devil. That's just a developmental stage. That's all that

is. That's just developmentally appropriate. Kids start to fucking lie and tell stories because they have fucking greater ability to understand the social cues around them, and they understand that fucking telling things that aren't true, they're not as literal minded anymore. Yeah, exactly. It's an appropriate

developmental response. But like we said earlier with the Tower of Babel, it's like, well, how do I explain this to, I'm not gonna, this guy doesn't understand developmental. He doesn't even know what that means. He would just say development. He would just fucking give up mid-work. It's amazing.

It's like his lips are just making that motorboat sound like. So for him, making up a weird story about how children were closer to God and now they fall away from God and they become more like their parents who are more like the devil, makes more sense to him than saying, no, children just advance intellectually. How do you just pizza cheese my brain? Like I can't, it's just all mushy and weird in there now. And now they have to go to college to feel better. We must be born again to get pastors. And that's why we have to let that go because it's all ego. And I noticed

too that all intellectual people are insecure people. They added the fuck out of this thing, guys. So this thing is I think they just went through and they're like wait till he gets mushroom out. Wait till he gets oh, here we go. Let's cut that in. Cause he's, there's no way this is edited by him. Cause I don't think so. I love fighting with the

intellectuals now. It is so nice because they don't have a foundation to stand on. The children of God have the foundation to stand on. And that foundation is his love. It's God's love working through us. They have no love. They have no foundation. And all they have is intimidation. If they can't intimidate you, they absolutely have nothing. Really, really don't. If you just pay attention, you will see that they're very insecure.

It's like he's down shifting his mouth. Let me tell you something, Alan. If America continues to reject the mercy of the Christian cross, America will live under the tyranny of the Islamic sword. So this is Robert Maginus. I was going to mispronounce it. I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did. Oh, Maginus. I was going to mispronounce it. I'm glad you did.

I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did. Maginus. He's on the Jim Baker Show. He's a retired Army Lieutenant Colonel and Family Research Council dickweed. So here he is talking about witches. Sandwiches? Not as delicious.

Sounds amazing. Although possibly toasted I've been reading today in fact I think it's in today's news that our president has appointed the first Muslim

Muslim as a judge a federal judge in the United States. Do you hear that audience? I know, the audience is like, Muslims are scary. Well, wherever they appoint him, that courthouse is going to last very long. You think so?

He's going to blow it up. He's going to have like a bomb in his gavel. His first call, somebody texts him and it's over. That's it. You can fit a lot of explosives under those robes. Right? You know what I mean? Under that hair.

Look at that fucking hair. 60 nail bombs in there. No problem. He's got fucking exploding judge syndrome. It's terrible. EDS is bad. All they do is they take a layer of plastic explosives and then a layer of stenographer typewriters no a layer of stenographers

and then the typewriter coat me in stenographers have you heard this i i have heard that and uh look at necky mcbearderson that guy the guy who he is is his assistant has a chin strap oh my strap on his giant chin, and it's a stubble, sort of see-through stubble beard. Oh, good lord, I've never seen that before. It's see-through stubble chin strap beard. It's amazing. It's kind of amazing.

Nobody told him not to go outside like that? Yeah, he doesn't own a mirror? Maybe I'll shave my face and just stop at the bottom of my chin. And the worst part is that his lower chin, the lower part of his. That's his second chin, bro. It's not his lower chin. Hold on. You get one chin.

Anything under that is not your lower chin. That's your neck fat. That's your man waddle. So on his lower chin. His lower chin? His under chin? I'm trying to be

politically correct. His top neck? I'm trying to be politically correct to all the fat asses in the audience. The bloated corpses in the audiences that'll get super mad when we talk about somebody being fat. So here's this giant fucking bulbous human being whose fucking face looks like the moon. It's got this fucking flap of chin fat that looks like a fucking uncircumcised head and his his his fat

fucking chin has just like the thing is is it's not that it's hidden it's not that it's under like most people's most people's chins go they're like at a right angle like his chin is like it's kind of this real real soft it's like take a soft turn at fucking Addison. It's just like, dude, it's a roundabout. It's like, he looks like he can expand it like a frog to scare away predators. You can't draw this guy without a protractor. You know what I mean? But this fucking guy, it's a rounded bubble

of fucking fatty beer. How do you not see that? You look like you have a fucking mane of blubber and hair. He looks like one of those frogs that blows his fucking under chin out, like really big. Except for it's hairy, so it looks like a nutsack.

He's calling for mates with that thing and nobody answers. So you gotta go to look at this video, guys. That's all we're saying. You know, I'm not anti anybody. Except. He was going to say except Muslims. He was going to say it.

And maybe Jews. Yeah. I think that's sort of an unwritten rule, though. Oh, my God. Well, I am anti the devil. I'm anti the devil. I hope so. It's a weird flesh-colored microphone. It's the embodiment of your evil.

The embodiment of all that's wrong in the universe is in one entity. And you're like, yeah, I think I'm covered. I'm not that guy. I'm kind of a, not that guy. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, the thing is, even she said, yeah, duh. You know, like, fucking even your vapid fucking dipshit that sits next to you thinks that's a dumb thing to say.

Absolutely. But it's hard for me to see preferential treatment being given to the Muslim. That's the first one. That's the first one. That's the first. That's the fucking you just Muslim. That's the first one. That's one. That's the first. That's the fucking, you just said it's the first one. How is that preferential treatment? It gets to a point.

How is that preferential in any way? It's the first one. Really? I don't see, make any sense. I can't do it. God. People, and the cross is being degraded in America. The Christians are being, I mean, the very thing Jesus said would happen in the last days,

that we would be, because we serve God, we would be attacked. We would be hated for the name of Christ's sake. That's right. It seems like our nation is kinder to other faiths and Christianity is being put down further and further and further. How many Christian judges

are there? How many? All but one. All but one. All but one. There's probably some Jew judges. That's fair. Here's the thing. Poll them. There's probably some Jew judges. Well, yeah, okay. There's probably some Jew judges. That's fair. Yeah. But here's the thing. Like, fucking poll them.

Find out how many Christian judges there are. And there's also probably going to be some closet atheists who say they're Christians, right? But the fucking overwhelming majority of people in the United States are Christian. Probably the overwhelming majority of fucking judges in the United States are Christian. Yeah, seems super likely. Are you allowed to talk about that? Of course. And we find it in the federal government are Christian. Yeah, seems super likely. Are you allowed to talk about that? Of course. And we find it in the federal government

in a terrible way, certainly in the Pentagon, where we find the persecution against Christians openly expressing their love for Christ. You know, Christian meetings are often denigrated. What does that mean? Well, you can fucking go to work. You're at work.

What are you having a Christian meeting for at work? You're in the Pentagon. You got work to do. Do the work. You already did a meeting, though. Like, I mean, if you can at least have the meeting, aren't you fucking winning? But you shouldn't.

You fucking, I don't have time to do that shit. I'm saying you shouldn't either, but they're at least having it. Fucking, if people, if the fucking employees at my work were like, we want to have a fucking meeting to talk about whittling, I'd be like, fucking go to work. Go to work.

I don't care about your hobbies. I don't give a fuck about your hobbies. But we really love whittling. I don't give fucking any shits. Go to work. Talk about it on your lunch break. Go outside and fucking smoke and fucking whittle a thing, whatever you want to do. Fucking, but you can't use my time at work to fucking whittle some shit.

And that's the thing is we're all their bosses. But they don't get that, right? They don't understand that. They don't like that. Christian meeting? What are you fucking talking about? And we find that broadly more so under this administration than ever before

because I've been in the government off and on for almost five decades. And so I've seen how other governments have functioned. This one is aggressively against Christians. for almost five decades. And so I've seen how other governments have functioned. This one is aggressively against Christians. And it's because I think the man in the Oval Office expresses an opinion which his proxies are expressing across the entire bureaucracy. What does that mean, though?

I mean, like, he's saying they express his opinion that all the people that he's sort of put in charge express the same opinion. That's what he's sort of put in charge express the same opinion. That's what he's supposed to do. That's how leadership works. That is definitional to leadership. That is exactly how it should work, right? Yeah.

Should he be appointing anti-Obama policy people? If your management staff is like, we're carrying out a different vision, you'd be like, I need a new management staff. You're doing a fucking terrible job of enacting my vision. It's the reason you work under me. Unbelievable. What are you, is that disconnected? Are the leaders afraid of the power of the gospel? You're an asshole.

Are the leaders afraid of the power of the gospel? No one's afraid of the power of your fucking book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's like, remember when fucking the guy, I can't pronounce his name, but he's the Indian skeptic who challenged the fucking one witch doctor guy to kill him? It's the best thing in the world. He said, you could kill me.

Just go ahead and do it. And the guy's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And the fucking guy guys just standing like it's the best it's literally the best yawns and then they wind up fucking chasing him out of the country because he says fucking poo water came out of a statue and they're all like this tastes like the best

most yummy water it's from god and he's like oh that's poo water and you're probably going to get a coli it's delicious, beautiful God water. That's poo water. We're going to kill you. It's like if you see the video of that guy who used the martial arts, who uses chi.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He fights an MMA guy. He gets his fucking face punched off his head. Yeah, I saw that one. It's my favorite too. The guy's like, are you kidding? Nothing happens to you. The guy's like,

He looks so surprised. He totally does. He's like, I don't know why my magic works on all the dupes. You know? Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing. But again, let's think about what he just said. Are they afraid of the power of the gospel? You could do... The only thing I don't want you to do is hit me with your book.

But you can use that book in any way you want on me, Jim. You can say, here you go. I'm going to fucking, I'm going to read from it. I'm going to wave it in your direction. I'm going to fan you with it. I'm not afraid at all of the power of the gospel. Why do they want to put the gospel down now? Well, I suspect the motivation is in fact evil.

down now? Well, I suspect the motivation is in fact evil. I know from having been in Washington for many years. In fact, my mother worked in Washington and in the White House for a while many years ago. I know that there's

demonic forces in that city. I have personally met people that... There are demons. I personally met a demon no he's at Quiznos I'd like a turkey ranch in Swiss refer to themselves as witches people that say they advise

the senior leadership of the country and since I'm a credulous fuckwit I believe everything I hear I heard a guy one time did a thing it's warlocks ok man alright dude there's witches and wizards It's David Icke. It's the second I heard a guy one time did a thing. It's warlocks. Okay, man. All right, dude. There's witches and wizards and warlocks and goblins and demons.

This is the kind of guy who locks his door on Halloween and hides under his fucking bed. You know what I mean? so we're joined again by jt eberhard of what would jt do jt uh if people have never been your blog explain what what you do there. Oh, man. I mostly just rant about whatever pisses me off at the time. That sounds super familiar. Which is mostly politics and religion. Welcome to the show, my friend.

The way I see it, you've got your your faithiest who say like, oh, the religious people do good things in the world, which is totally true. They do. who say like oh the religious people do good things in the world which is totally true they do but like the point of my like deepest beliefs about religion is like the people who do bad shit do it for the same reasons that nice christians do good shit right and we don't need this kind of like intellectual destroying morass to do good things like atheists have figured out how to do good things on their own. Like the only reason you get people, you know, like trying to stop gay people from marrying and whatnot is because they

have bad ideas about the universe. Or you have parents who love their kids who don't call an ambulance when their kids are sick because of religion. Right? Like the only time you see that is when religion is involved. It's like, I just want to get rid of it. Like I said,

I just want it to go. I love it like i just want to get rid of it like i said i just want it to go i love it i just want to get rid of it so there's just so many underlying things that would fix get rid of religion boom suddenly our politics isn't such a pain in the ass jesus chose trump or hackaby or whatever jesus republican you know and that's like all they've got like they don't have a fucking clue like ask them to point out syria on a map like ask them to name one of donald trump's policies that isn't build a wall around mexico like they can't do it like they just know like jesus loves republicans that's the lever on poland yeah so did you start out religious were you religious growing up god actually you know okay so you know how most atheists grew up in a religious household and you know dropped it became atheist i grew up in an atheistic household and became religious no shit did you really tell

me about that okay so i'm in high school in bumblefuck arkansas where everyone's religious and i actually got converted by two of my high school teachers no fucking way it was legal like totally illegally. But I was young at the time. I didn't know. And so I go on doing the whole religion thing and I'm sitting in church and like my parents are not only not religious, but they're gay rights advocates. Right. So they have gay friends like I get to hang around and like I can tell when people are despicable, like I've known bullies and thieves and like these are shitty people. I'm around my parents, gay friends. I'm like, these guys are cool. Right. So I'm sitting in

church and they're like, gay people are the worst. And I'm like, Oh, the Bible doesn't say that. That's your opinion, dude. Cause like, uh, back in early 2000 knowledge networks at the behest of Christianity today did a poll to find out how many professing Christians had actually read the Bible. And it was just under 10%. That actually sounds accurate to me. Really? Yeah, it was a religious poll. It's like I was one of the 90 plus percent. It's like, yeah, I believe in Jesus. Have you read the Bible? No, but I got the gist of it, right? Someone once told me the Cliff Notes out loud. Yeah, I read the Reader's Digest version.

So I moved to Kansas later in life, and Kansas is like Arkansas. Holy shit, dude. Hold on. I got to stop you. You moved from Arkansas to Kansas? Yeah. I don't even understand. Like, did you move from a better place to a worse place?

I don't even understand if you upgraded or not. We just followed the trail of tears, right? Jesus Christ. You moved from the fucking worst state to the worst state yeah i like playing video games on ultimate difficulty so this is like playing life on right so i moved to kansas and it's the same shit and so finally i'm like i gotta read the bible i gotta know if it says this so i do my first read through of the bible and it doesn't take me long to be like, yeah, God doesn't like gay people. Sure enough. It's pretty early. It's in there. It's right in there. Yeah. Yeah. Turns out a bunch of other shit. So I literally turned over the last page and said out loud, I don't believe this,

but I became one of those, you know, like, you know, you know, the path, like, oh, I'm an agnostic, you know, I'm not really an atheist. Okay. I'm an atheist. But, you know, everybody's got their own beliefs, and it's cool. And then I read Sam Harris' The End of Faith. And there's literally a sentence in that book that changed my entire outlook on life. And I can repeat it because it was so influential to me. It was, we live at an age when a man can have both the resources and the intellect to construct a nuclear weapon and still believe he'll receive paradise for detonating it. At that moment, I realized, oh, bad ideas matter in other people. They talk about my beliefs are my business.

Well, no, they're not because we live on the same planet and beliefs determine actions and your actions affect everything. Sam Harris has not been able to get across to a large number of people, right? That central message that beliefs determine our actions is something that has really been a struggle for a lot of people. Is that when you started your blog? Is that when you decided to start writing your blog? Oh, God. So do you guys remember Zanga?anga no i don't know what that is okay so zanga was a blog platform ages ago it was like for high schoolers who like just broke up with their first boyfriend or girlfriend to go on there and be like oh my god nobody who's lived 14 years in a row has ever heard so i'm doing an an opera in my in a college with all the freshmen and they're all on Zanga because they just got out of high school. And they're like, JT, you should get a Zanga. And they were like, stupid insistent,

right? And I was like, no, like I'm an adult. Stop. Finally, I did it just to shut him up, right? And it's like, it's all this high school drama. And I'm like, I like politics. So I started writing about atheism and politics. But that was the start of my blogging career. And then I just kept doing it and getting more readers. And the rest of the script writes itself. I want to ask about the opera singing. You mentioned opera singing. What's up with that?

Oh, God. I feel like all I'm doing is telling stories about my life. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Before you tell the story, can you stick a quarter in your ass for me?

I think there's not one already there, dude. So I teach high school voice students. That's actually what I was doing before this interview. And so like they're in high school, like in college, a teacher can say to a student, here's a quarter. Put it in your ass because everyone's an adult. Right. Like I can't do that with high school students. So I've got to be like, use your imagination. Imagine a quarter in your ass, because for some reason, that's more acceptable. It's better than imagine my fingers in your ass,

because that'll get you fired, it turns out. Not until they get to the Catholic church. Okay, so how do I get into opera? So both my parents are double majors. My mom has a double major in art and theater in directing theater. And my father has a double major in philosophy and theater performance. So I grew up in the theater. Right. And I grew up as an actor. I was a god awful singer, just terrible singer, like at me to ask me to act fine. But singing is a no go. but singing is a no-go so then I get to college and I'm a theater performance major and I'm kind of messing around with a woman who I think is one of the best singers to ever come through my college right so she tells me like hey that we're doing this opera there's an acting role in it you should audition uh so I do I get into the show it's a deflator mouse there's an acting role called

called frosh the jailer and I didn't know it at the time, but it was being directed by Ava Pearl Yadin, who'd had this huge career in Europe. And she was the teacher that everybody, all the voice students went to that school to try and get into her studio, right? She was the star teacher. And I had no idea. And I was probably more disrespectful than I should have been to her in that show. But not to be a total braggart, but my work ethic in shows is pretty good. I always learn my lines ahead of time. I'm the first to show up last to leave. And I take a lot of pride in that. So I put on what I thought was a really good performance. And it's the last show is over. I'm staying around helping put shit away. And she walks up to me and says,

do you sing? I said, God, no, absolutely not. And she asked if I'd like to learn. I said, sure. Now, this woman made, I think, $100 per half hour for private lessons. She taught me. She gave me a. When I was going to school, I was supporting myself when I was poor. It's not like I could afford to do this.

She gave me a slot in her studio for free for two years. And sometimes I worked. Holy shit. Yeah, an hour a week just because she liked my work ethic and saw promise in me. Yeah, up until she died, actually. She never got to see me become a professional, but I like to feel like she always knew I would. And so even to this day, like it took me forever to start charging for voice lessons. And I charge about half of what the going rate is for someone with my resume, even to the students I do charge. And for the ones who are poor, I still teach them for free.

Wow. It's just my way of paying it forward. And even the ones who are like, I wish I could give you money, I'm like, don't. Just work hard and learn, and someday when you bump into a kid who it's their dream to be a singer, pass it on. Nice. You had mentioned before we started recording, you had talked about a gaming podcast you're either starting or going to be doing soon. I've been very open in my writing and in my speeches that I'm a recovering anorexic, that I have very severe clinical depression because,

you know, I want it to be I want to help remove the stigma. And like atheism, I feel the way you do that is by being open about it. So the cocktail of meds I'm on that stabilizes me, which I would never get off of, like they make me feel as close to normal as someone in my shoes can reasonably get. They make eating something I can sometimes enjoy rather than something I've got to sit down and force myself to do and then cry about. Right. So they kind of turn off your give a damn switch which is what allows me to to eat you know pseudo comfortably but it doesn't just do it on that it does it on everything and so for me like i love reading the news each day it's part of my day i best part of my day i love keeping myself

informed i love staying abreast of current topics and i used to like writing about it but like anymore i if i'm honest it's kind of a chore because i used to like writing about it. But like anymore, if I'm honest, it's kind of a chore. Because I used to think like, oh, atheists are so much more reasonable than religious people. And the more I do it, the more I'm just like, no, like people as a general rule are unreasonable and don't care about good argument. And yes, most atheists have reached the same conclusions as me, but I'm not sure most of them have done it for good reasons. And so it kind of like just removes the passion I had for conveying ideas. You know, I like reading, but I don't like writing about it so much. So what I try to do in the future is find things I'm passionate about. And I am passionate about gaming. I'm passionate about

e-sports, about teaching voice. And so I want to integrate more of that in my writing. But also, blogs are a dying medium. The future is like what you guys are doing, podcasts and YouTube. So I got with a woman who writes for my blog, Nicole Hansen. But we decided to create a gaming podcast. And our first run is tomorrow. And Cecil, I invited you to hop on for the first episode because I know you play Guild Wars 2.

Oh, it's the first episode? How great is that? Oh, man, I feel honored. Jesus, man. I would say blessed, but we're all atheists here. So I'll just say honored. The first one? I don't know if you guys ever listened

to the Game Theory Podcast or the God Theory Podcast, but we've got those guys to come on too. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm really excited about it. But hopefully it'll give me a chance to stay passionate about what I do. Um, you know, I'm, I'm very lucky in life that I've been able to follow my passions and at least make enough money to pay the bills. And I think it's because when you follow your passions, you inherently do decent work, you know, just cause you love it. Um, and so hopefully that'll let me keep doing

that. But yeah, we're, we yeah, we're starting a gaming podcast. It's called Press Start because press is also the news. But press start is also something you do in video games. It's a play on words. See how clever we are. We're clever like that. If people were going to find your blog or find out about you, where would they look? Well, you can go to the Patheos Network, patheos.com slash blog slash WWJTD.

Go click on it. You don't even have to read an article. Just click on it, and I make a fraction of a penny, and the lights stay on, and I can buy my wife a birthday present. Well, JT, thank you so much for joining us. It's been an absolute blast. We'll definitely have you on again. This has been great, man.

Thanks so much. So we want to thank our most current patrons. Camara, Lightmaker Sucks, Corey, The Mighty Thor, Cthulhu the Octopus God, Lion, Leon? Let's go with Lion. I like Lion. If your name is spelled that way, you fucking roar. Lion. Leon? Leon? Let's go with Lion.

I like Lion. If your name is spelled that way, you fucking roar. It could be Leon. Fuck that. Christina, Timothy, Nate, DP, one of my favorite guys, Kyle, Phillip, Chad, Jeff, Robin, the Browns, Courtney, Michael, Kenna, Keith, Janelle, Daryl, Devil Doc, David, Lawrence, Sack of Shite, Senator Bail Organa. Oh, my goodness. It's another Star Wars-y thing.

The New York Wolf, Voldemort. I knew it, finally. The New York Wolf, Voldemort. I knew it, finally. Mike, Rick, Stella, John, Jane, Bart, Shane, Curtis, Atheists on High podcast, and Anthony. Thanks so much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate it. This next week, we are, of course,

traveling to QED in Manchester, England, and then we'll be doing two meetups, one in Glasgow, Glasgow. I don't know. I believe it's Haagas. It's pronounced Haagas. Glasgow. They love that. And Edinburgh. I feel like no matter how many times we say it, they love it more each time. Edinburgh. The Edens. We'll be going

out over there to both of those places to have meetups with the Scathing Atheist crew and us. And we're going to be doing a sort of Q&A, hanging out in two pubs there. I do not think there's any tickets left, actually. I think they're all sold out at this point, but I don't know.

Contact the organizers. See how that works. We're just showing up. We're just the dudes that show up at this point. But we should have a great time. Come see us at QED. We'd love to hang out and just get a chance to meet you. But we're super excited about it. So we got a message.

We got a couple messages we're going to go through. The first one is from Mustafa. And Mustafa says that Ramadan actually follows the lunar calendar and it moves 11 days back earlier every year. And one of the things he alerted us to, Tom, is that they actually have a workaround in Alaska. They do. He says that in Alaska, they have basically a loophole to trick God. The Muslims found a loophole. They have an excuse to follow certain standards, which allows them to fast a certain number of hours rather than actually follow it.

It's an hourly requirement. Muhammad requires or Allah, whoever, whoever they worship, whatever, pick one. He requires an hourly requirement. You know, so in our business, I'm in the mortgage industry, and there are loans, which I've seen and we've closed, which are Sharia loans. And they're basically trick-your-God loans because they're not allowed to lend with interest, not allowed to borrow with interest. They're not allowed to borrow with interest. And so they have a loan, which has all the look of a regular loan where you borrow money and you have a note and you pay a principal and you have an interest rate. But what they do instead is they pay a certain fee. That fee happens to be the same dollar value as the interest. And then you pay the fee over time.

You pay it over time. Just like you would pay the interest. But it's paperwork to trick their God. But the best part, my favorite part, is that you can't trick Uncle Sam. So there are federal lending guidelines that require that anybody borrowing money and being issued a mortgage be given a document called a truth in lending disclosure, which discloses very specifically that there's an annual lending disclosure, which discloses very specifically that there's an annual percentage rate,

which is essentially similar to an interest rate. So you can trick God, but you hope he doesn't look at the truth and lending disclosure, because it's kind of right there. It's fucking awesome. It's lying to Mohammed with paperwork. It's amazing that Mohammed is so easily

fooled. The omniscient... Yeah, easily fooled. It's awesome. to j it's lying to muhammad with paper it's amazing that muhammad is so easily fold the omniscient yeah easily right easily it's awesome yeah it's like it's like when they get the fucking helper monkey to press the button in the elevator right well the jews are just like i don't know use a stick to press the button and then it's not your finger whatever yeah you have to like nudge a stick so it falls over like in some weird rube goldberg machine right yeah there's like a shoe that hits a bowling ball it's like lights a candle which burns a rope that sets off a mousetrap so we got a message from steven and steven sent us an image of jesus himmler medical that's terrible and in front of it even funniernier, is a Sonic advertisement that says, Fiery Family.

It's just the worst. Oh, that really is. Yeah. We got a message from Joseph, and he sent us a great image of Trump's eyes. And I will just post this image. Oh, Jesus. It's very similar to what we talked about before, but it's safe for work. We got a message, and it might be posted on Facebook by now.

We're not sure. But we'll be posting an image on this episode. When we talked to Chris Matheson last week, Mike sent an image of a Donald Trump dental dowel bobblehead. It's horrifying. Awesome. It's horrifying. I'd fuck the mouth on that thing. You'd fuck the mouth on anything. Admittedly.

So it looks amazing. I just want to say, looked great. Thank you so much for sending it in. We got another set of images from Sarah, and I'll post the link to it. It's tactical advice from the Dalai Lama, and it's all awesome. It's all images of him doing hand motions and then shit that a tactical officer will tell you. Like how to shoot people in the eye and stuff. It's fucking hilarious. It's just awful.

It's just awful. I love it. It was like eight images. Well, if you missed it last week, Scathing Atheist finished up the very last, not the very last, but the last bulk issue that we're doing of Vulgarity for Charity. In the next coming weeks, we will be doing

several roasts of people who we did not get to during the actual roast. They'll be getting special time on our shows and on the Scathing Atheist shows because we just seriously could not get it. The support was so overwhelming, we didn't want to do a fifth show. So we're going to be splitting it up between the two of us. We'll probably have about 50 or so people to roast, but we still have to do it. We'll probably be covering a couple shows, email portions worth, just to try to get through it. Yeah, just so everybody

knows, nobody will be left out. If you donated $20 or more, you will have your person roasted. It just might take us some time. It's going to take us some time. We seriously got over 400 donations and we just want to make sure that the show goes back to being the show

and doesn't just become Vulgarity for Charity, the podcast. So we're incredibly grateful. The outpouring of support was just massive. We're going to have Keith on from Modest Needs to talk about his organization and kind of the great work that they do and the impact that your money has made in their organization. We're very excited to have him on the show. We're very excited to have him on the show. If you donated and you didn't hear yourself on one of the four episodes that has the bulk vulgarity for charity, be patient. We will be horrible to you, your friends, your family, your loved ones, and your hated parties just as soon as we can get around to it.

And I want to say, too, I mentioned it on the Skating Atheist podcast, but I want to say it here. The amount of work that went into this was actually pretty substantial. We had several hours every time that we had to write those roasts, and Eli went out of his way to collect a document of all the people that needed to be roasted, all the notes of the people that were going to be roasted. It's over 300-paged Google Doc that he created with photos and all this other stuff. And photos, we're not taking up the whole page either. No, right. We're not talking about whole page worth of photos. We're talking about people would send a photo

and it would be a small part of the page with descriptions. 300-pages document that he created. He created several spreadsheets to try to keep us on track he was the one who wrote the main scripts that led people through the roast so he's the one who came up with the creative way to roast people he came up with the way in which we transitioned he did so much work he did a great job and he did such a great job he's really really good at this really amazing i hope that we get a chance to do this with them again, because we had such a fun time recording with them.

And doing this work was really fun. Normally what happens in charity stuff is that Tom and I sort of just sit back and let you guys do all the work. You guys are the ones who are putting in all your money. But this time we actually did do something to try to help encourage people to donate. And it really was very rewarding. It was a ridiculous amount of fun. I really enjoyed it.

I had more fun doing the Vulgarity for Charity than I've had doing almost anything in a long time. It was just such a great time. And I couldn't think of better people to work with. Absolutely. They were wonderful. And if you are not fans of Scathing Atheist, give them a shot. Go listen to their podcast. They put on a great podcast.

They also do Godawful Movies and The Skeptocrat. Go give them a listen. They are excellent podcasters and deserve a download. So we want to thank JT Eberhard for joining us today. JT is a lot of fun. Glad we finally got a chance to meet him and chat with him. Really cool guy. Check out his blog,

What Would JT Do on Patheos. Also check out his upcoming podcast. And I'm actually planning, he sent me some messages, and I'm also planning on doing a full day of streaming where I'm streaming a video game for an entire day for charity. I'll probably be doing that in November. November 6th, it looks like I'll be streaming Guild Wars 2 all day. I'll be playing, hanging out, and I don't know exactly how all that's going to work or where I'll be streaming it, but I'll keep people who care to be informed about it. And if you want to donate to charity during that portion, we will let you know what happens with that coming up. We are going to be on vacation though. So for the next couple of weeks, we're going to be sort of on autopilot. We're going to have a show in the can that is going to be, uh, uh, several stories as well as, uh, as Kevin from modest needs. We also may be posting,

we're not sure yet how it's, how it's going to be delivered to us, but we may be posting our live show from QED, depending on how we get it. It may be a patron show. It may also just be a full release show. We're still deciding on how that works. And we're also going to be posting a show that's in the can with us talking to Angry Black Rant. We're going to be posting that probably later in October. So you can send us all your hate mail when we come back and we'll be fresh. We'll be fresh on our trip to read it when we come back and we'll be, we'll be fresh. We'll be fresh on our trip to read it. When we come back, we will be returning to glory hole studios to start our recording early in November again.

God, it's such a long break, man. Well, we'll actually be recorded. We'll actually have shows for you every single week. I know. But we won't be recording for a while. We are going to be leaving you. And before we do, we are of course going to leave you you. And before we do, we are, of course, going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Bubble, toil, and trouble. Pseudo, quasi, alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized,

stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues Temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers Birthers, witches, wizards

Vaccine nuts Shaman healers, evangelists Conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata Nonsense Expose your sides Thrust your hands Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes

only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you.