Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 323: Gloryhole Studios Manchester

Episode Date: October 31, 2016

This is our live show from Manchester at QED this year. There are some sight gags in the beginning that don’t translate well, but that doesn’t go on throughout. Stay after the outro for some pre-show mic check with the crowd. Some of it is a little hard to hear but it was fun.

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com right now and you'll get 50% off just about any item. All you have to do is enter the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout. He waved at us. I feel like we're good. Oh, they shut the door. Oh, this is us. And now you die. I feel like it's like the Watchmen. It's like, you're locked in here with me.

Are we about ready to... I should do the intro music, right? Well, hang on. It's fucking hot. Okay, all right. I don't want to be hot. What? What?

It's hot, man. It's fucking hot. Tom, that's ridiculous. Okay, first off, guys, he said it was going to be special and our first time, so I dressed up for it. I've used that line before, too. Don't worry, it's going to be special.

That's why he's divorced, guys. That's not why. No, that's ridiculous. Take that fucking shirt. Just take it off. Just take it off. Take the fucking shirt off. Boom! shirt. Just take it off. Just take it off. Take the fucking shirt off.

Ow! Boom! Here we go! America! Ready! Yes! Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.

Look at the face he's making at me. The explicit tag is there for a reason. I don't blame you. Your cue's coming up. Your cue's coming up. Talking business is filmed in front of a live studio audience. The laughs you hear are not real. You'll tell me when to go, though, right? Is it now?

Is it no? Is it no? Now? Now? Recording live For real actually For the first time And we don't get to edit that shit I just want to say

I just want to say This is the most enthusiastic Six people I've ever seen Right? This is amazing Wow So there's more to that. Go ahead. I hope I remember.

Jesus Christ. Now I feel all kind of pressure and shit. Recording live from Manchester, which is... Wait. Hold on. Keep stopping me. It's Glory Hole Studios, right? That's what I say. Isn't it kind of... Is Glory Hole Studios like home? It's like where it goes with you? Hold on.

I don't feel like it. I don't feel at home. I'm not sure I can do this. There we go. There we go. Put up. There we go. That's not how those work. That's not.

There we go. That's how I use them. All right. Now it feels right. Yeah. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Manchester,

which is evidently a place. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking,

skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. it's political,

and there is no welcome mat. This is episode... I don't know what it's releasing. Episode 323-ish? Four? Five? Have we done... It's 23. Is it? Because we've got 21 and 22. 22 is, yes. There we go. It's episode to 3 Is it? Because we've got 21 and 22

Yeah, in the bank It's episode 323 I fucking knew it Of cognitive dissonance I think you are right though I feel like I'm a little overdressed I'm dressed for the fucking weather in here I don't feel American enough

So I just want to Here we go. So here we go. That's it. That's it. Okay. That's how you do that. And it's good. Do they have deer season here? Is it always deer season?

That looks good. That looks good. Is it nice and puffy? Now I'll be able to find you anywhere. You're the only person in this entire country that's ever worn Hunter's Orange. Ever. What do they hunt out here with?

Throw a knife at something? Jesus Christ. They're all like fucking circus performers. Fucking deer just get hit with a handle. They're just like, fucking cut it out. Stop it. It's just fucking not funny Alright so How many people here in the room have heard our show before

Anyone Any new listeners Really Oh my god We got a new listener It was worth the trip It was worth the trip So to the new listener...

So sorry. I feel like our ROI on this is pretty... Not good, right? If you have any complaints, you can send them to david at dogmadebate.com. He's our guy. Yeah, you can also tweet those to Eli Bosnick. Or you can find us on facebook

the thinking atheist you can just type in very big there yeah very big there yeah um jesus christ man we gotta start the show yeah i don't feel real good oh no i'm not gonna lie i know because you were out until like four in the morning i don't know what time i don't even know what day it was somebody slipped something into my drink alcohol yeah and they did it a lot of times and i like it's making me feel like me yeah and i don't like i should know yeah i know did you notice by the way like there's a nice enough hotel i guess for manchester but there's a thrift shop next door to the hotel no shit and it says like i was walking past getting coffee this morning and said like thrift shore or like thrift clothes at bargain prices and i thought it's a fucking

thrift store what the if you don't have bargain it's a fucking thrift store. What the, if you don't have bargain prices at the fucking thrift store, like that's the most unnecessary sign. And it's the only one I understood in the whole country. Everything else I walked past, it's fucking, I can't understand any, I know every word in the sentence. And I'm like, I don't know what's happening.

I don't, you have buses everywhere. There's a fucking bus on you. Your buses have buses on top of the bus I know what the fuck is going on I didn't see a bus like that It's a double bus And there's a million of them There's like a fucking guy with a buggy whip on top of it

It's fucking crazy Everybody's a cheerio, it's just ridiculous You know the toughest part about leaving Chicago at this time of year Fitting on the airplane That was difficult The toughest part is it's the best time of year in Chicago It's fall, it's that was difficult the the toughest part is it's the best time of year in chicago um it's fall it's when the murder rate starts to go down it is it's beautiful it's beautiful you can actually get out of your bunk the blood changes color it's not

no it doesn't it's always brown so uh that's thanks for joining us today uh my favorite is when I make him uncomfortable He's just like fuck Why did you that That's not We did want to do A quiz today for you From a book called

The Biggest Secret How many people have read this book Has anybody read this fucking thing Holy shit you've read this book? Has anybody read this fucking thing? Round of applause. Holy shit, you've read this book? Oh my God, he survived it. All right. Wait, hold on, hold on. Did you read the whole thing?

I read the whole thing. Fuck you. You're Noah. You don't count. I thought you were a pretty girl back there. I couldn't tell. What are you saying? I'm not.

Not pretty. But if the evening goes on. This is an amazing tome of a... Look at this thing. 500 pages. Yeah. So, Tom, we... It's ridiculous.

For some people who haven't been following along, we've been reading this book chapter by chapter. It's good. And it's been amazing so far, but some people might not be up to where we're at. So why don't you, Tom, if you can, give your synopsis up till now, and I'll do the same. We've got to get people. We're 250 pages in.

But before we get into David Icke, I have a bumper. Hold on a second. David Icke What the fuck Alright so The challenge actually Was to do this in four sentences Yeah So I just wrote

Run on sentences Alright David Icke and Credo Muttwa Know the truth All of the truth About all of the stuff Including drugs

Which are bad And all the people ever In all of history Who are all best friends And also They're evil lizard people You think you know How the world works but you're an idiot and you probably also think that money is real what you don't know and what only credo and ike and the people who follow

this gibberish and a couple of harried podcasters and their audience and whoever sees their interviews and this raving lunatic know is that an alien race from a constellation of stars traversed interstellar distances so they could take over the earth using the most complicated least effective plan that unfolds in infinitesimal pieces on a geological time scale so they can have our magical monoatomic gold which they use to be more powerful so they can manipulate and control us much more double plus better from their good vibration homes somewhere in either the lower fourth dimension or from inside the hollowed out earth, which you can only gain access to by flying airplanes through the clouds and

down into the anus of holes, which seems backward to me. Also, David Icke is insane. Yeah. Four sentences. That was four sentences. I used four periods.

Good for you. So that's, I have, I have, mine's much quicker and not nearly as. Good for you. So that's... All right, I have... Mine's much quicker and not nearly as funny. I say that every time. The world is inhabited by interdimensional reptiles from the Draco constellation. These ultra-powerful creatures have mastered interstellar travel as well as interdimensional travel

and have selectively bred our species so they can control our minds. They have ruled society since its inception through shadow organizations and control much of the world's power. But one man stands in the way of total world domination with a metric fuckton of useless facts that explain absolutely nothing and prove even less. David Icke will fight against them with his trusty sidekick, Credo Mutwa. Yes. Credo is fucking, that guy is the bomb. I think he just fucking dictated the book from Credo Mutwa. That's it.

I think that's what happened. It should say, like, he doesn't even get a credit on the book. I know. He's cited, he's the only source.

He gets like one fucking ibid in here and the rest of it is all. So we do have a quiz. We do. And we also, we have some prizes to give away.

So we're gonna, this is gonna be an audience participation quiz. So, we're gonna tell you what size shirt we have. So get the beads out. Get the beads out.

And ladies. And then we're going to have people raise their hand if they want to answer a question. So this is a large. Large. Like an American large. So like six British people could fit in it. It's fine. It does not come with diabetes.

It's like the size of one of your fucking buses over there. Who's a large and wants to win a shirt? We got a couple of hands. A couple of hands. That gentleman with the tattoo right there I saw the tattoo on your arm Can you stand up sir? Alright So I'm going to go first

Alright So according to David Icke Menstrual blood can sometimes be A, hard to get out of jogging pants. B, mistaken for Clamato juice. C, the cost of doing business. Or D, consumed by reptilian bloodlines because of the energy it contains. It is also known as the starfire, soma, ambrosia, and researchers suggest that the Holy Grail

is a symbol of a womb and drinking menstrual blood. I don't know if he'll get this one. You can poll the audience. We can poll the audience? Yes. It reads, fuck you. You win.

Did you bring your t-shirt cannon? Did you not bring the t-shirt cannon? Yeah, I brought a t-shirt cannon. Shoot it at him. There you go. Yes. Round of applause. Round of applause.

Well done. There you go. Yes. Round of applause. Round of applause. Well done. All right. Let's see if my fucking old ass eyes can see what this one says. This is another large.

Who else is a large? More larges. Tom, you get to pick. Tom, you get to pick. All right. I'm going to pick the gentleman in the blue shirt right there. Wow. All right, Tom.

I said gentleman, but we don't really know each other that well. We'll go with it. We'll go with it. They're all British. They're fucking super nice. It's gross. All right. What would an interbreeding program, and I spelled it with two M's and an E because I know where I'm at.

What would... Oh, sorry. Oh, wait. Let me rephrase it. Good for you. Let me rephrase it. Good for you. Let me rephrase it. Let me rephrase it. What would a ye olde interbreeding program between the reptilian Anunnaki

and white, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Martians produce? I know, I know. A, a super weird sexual experience that no one feels exactly comfortable about later, but that both parties sort of also feel like bragging about. At least with a really close friend because after all they just fucked an alien species but no no they can't say anything because shit people are judgy b joseph and the amazing technicolor semen c a very high reptilian

genetic content because when a fourth dimensional vibration powered reptile loves a Nazi sympathizing Martian Aryan very much the reptile genes combine stronger and more and sometimes you just have to

accept that or D feelings of shame and often irreparable scar tissue it's always all of the above

t-shirt canon okay patunk yes there nailed it It's always all of the above T-shirt cannon Patunk Yes Nailed it This is going so well Alright this is extra large And most of those people don't raise their hand

In America we just call that hands up After you raise your hand After you raise your hand just take a couple deep breaths we know we'll let you put it right back down it's fine we know that gentleman with the magnificent beard over there all right all right here we go are you ready satanic rituals of torture and sacrifice often take place at night because a when you're committing a crime you can go to prison for oftentimes you do it under the cover of darkness. B, the magnetic force is more stable during the day. The solar wind causes turbulence and, pardon me, the magnetic force is more stable.

No, I messed up, I messed up. The magnetic force is more stable during the day the solar wind causes turbulence and makes the interdimensional connection more difficult. The sun does not go away because it's nighttime. You're ruining this, Tom. I hear that everywhere. This is just when our schedules lined up. Do you know how hard it is to get a dozen high-ranking Satanist calendars together? And D, most satanic ritual plans have free nights and weekends. B, oh, genius. plans have free nights and weekends. B.

Oh, genius. Give him a round of applause. You're coming up. I got a weak arm, son. Patunk. It doesn't get old. I'm going to patunk every time. It's funny every time I do it.

All right, Tom, you got one more right over there? All right, yeah. So this one is a medium. A medium. Tom, you got one more right over there? All right. Yeah. Okay. So this one is a medium. A medium. Oh. There's medium people? Yeah.

Like it's a whole person. We're over here. They're all mediums. I know. But like I said, it's an American medium. You can still fit half a dozen people

in that thing. Look at that. Quality t-shirt. I couldn't wear that as a sock. You people can be embarrassed too. All right. Pick too. All right.

Pick someone. All right. You. You're right here. Easy to get to. I'm so tired. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

All right. Why do satanic rituals take place on vortex points? Yes. Because they do. Just so you know, they do. That's a true statement.

A. Because the vortex point is the clit of Satanism. And it would just be rude not to focus at least a little bit of goddamn attention there, you selfish fuck. Hold on, though. How do they find it? It's all a myth. The whole book is a myth. B. Vortexes are energy points on the Earth that help channel Gaia and refocus the chi of the Earth. Satanic rituals that take place on these points cause earthquakes,

which are the reptiles' way of rebalancing the continents by shifting the tectonic plates. This is also called reptilian feng shui, or fang fang. Yes! I'm actually so happy with that answer. I was like, fang fang, I'm super funny. C. So that the terror and general bad shitty feelings of killing people and such enters the global energy grid and disrupts the Earth's magnetic field

which makes the reptile people laugh at hapless boy scouts struggling to use their compasses D. Because they ran out of toast points Please send toast Which so far has been the best thing I've eaten here by the way, is the toast.

All right. I'm torn between B and C. Yeah, so am I. I don't remember the answer. It doesn't even matter. It's, uh... It's... There's a real answer in there.

That's the thing, guys. There's a real answer in there. So I have one more, one more to give out, and this is for the people who could not, who would not want to be seen in our shirt.

We have a copy, a signed copy of The Story of God by Chris Matheson. I'm looking right at this gentleman right here in the front row. Okay, here we go. You ready for this? Okay, this is the last question. How do the Satanists get all the babies? A. Satan is an anagram of Santa,

and all the naughty little boys and girls were never heard from again. B, satanic factory farms. Breeder women are held in captivity and forced to get pregnant and then give birth. The kids are collected for sacrifice all off the books. C, when parents are told that the child has died, and sometimes that child hasn't died yet. Or D, they alter the electromagnetic waves of the nexus points on the Earth

to divert the flight paths of storks so they deliver babies to the world. That's awesome. They all sound plausible. No, it's fine. I'm sorry. It's actually B and C, but it doesn't matter.

You win a book. There you go. Well done, A! So, like every week when we do this, we do a short synopsis. Wait, can I ask one more question? I know we don't have a giveaway, but can I ask one more question? Because I think it's an important one, and I want people to know. We don't want them to miss out on this chapter.

Okay, that's fair. I'll ask you. Can I win anything? You're on this'll ask you. Can I win anything? Can I win off this stage? Is that possible? No, someone's got to do this work. According to David Icke, it all fits. Is this true?

A. Yes, but you'll need lube. B. No, but you can try lube. C. Maybe if we had more lube. Or D. No amount of lube could unfuck this book. It's D. We're halfway through, buddy.

It's D. Okay. Here we go. Okay, so this is my synopsis. Reptiles from the lower fourth dimension commit human sacrifice because ritual killing has tons of antioxidants. The Brotherhood collects these children through breeding programs and cover-ups, which is why we've never heard about it. I'm not saying Bigfoot is involved in the sacrifice, but he is named in the chapter. And that is one hell of a coincidence.

At least according to David Icke. So that's it. He's named in the chapter when they're talking about the Loch Ness Monster, too. No, no, no. He says that Bigfoot can turn into the fucking Loch Ness Monster. Yeah, right. He's in the wrong place, though.

Like, wouldn't that be convenient? Even if you could. Even if you could, you'd have to be like, I can turn into the Loch Ness Monster. It's only convenient if you happen to be at Loch Ness. Otherwise, you're just flopping around on the fucking ground. Otherwise, you're just a monster. Right. That doesn't work. It's just awkward. Then you're me. That's not, I live that.

All right. We're moving on. All right. So I want to take a moment to talk about our sponsor, adamandeve.com. We are pretty excited here at Cognitive Dissonance to be working with adamandeve.com, mainly because we feel like we have a pretty sex positive show. And we want to make sure our listenersandeve.com, mainly because we feel like we have a pretty sex-positive show. And we want to make sure our listeners have a good time, enjoy themselves. And if they want to be adventurous, they want to enjoy sex, adamandeve.com has a ton of stuff for you to do just that. And I think another great thing about using a website for sex toys and DVDs

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going to throw in free shipping for the entire order all you have to do is go to adamany.com use the code word glory at checkout that's g-l-o-r-y and you'll save a bunch of money get free shipping and get some free stuff that's demonic! It is absolutely demonic! All right, so we have a story. This story is Alex Jones. Hillary is possessed by the devil. Vote Trump if you want to live. We brought with us some of our finest Americans

for all of you to sample. This is it. And Alex Jones is one of our prominent... Yeah, I guess he's a guest every week. Yeah, I like that. He's an honored guest. He's an honored guest. So I have some clips I want to play for you,

and then we'll just talk about them. It's kind of like a regular show. It's going to be real boring. Okay, so here we go. You want to live? You want to have kids? Don't take the Gardasil shot. Don't eat GMO.

Listen to me. I want you to live. That's fucking amazing. You want to live? Don't take the Gardasil shot yeah well he doesn't the thing is he's an anal cancer

and he doesn't want anyone else preventing him he's like he's like Smokey the anal cancer like only you can prevent me that's it

can you imagine what that ad would look like it would just be like a polyp shows up and it's like all fucking sloppy and fucking weird looking and got to jerk off to it. It's so awkward.

More awkward. I'd still do it. Not in front of these nice people though. They seem... Hold on a second because I don't understand that. Are we supposed to... Does he think people eat the Gardasil shot? Because he ties GMOs and Gardasil

together. People just eat eat plates of GMOs? I will have your finest GMOs, please. And if you could put them in a shot and then give me a shot while I eat the Gardasil. He's super confused and got the whole thing backwards. Alright, next clip. Because I want to treat you like I want to be treated. I'm not the devil.

I'm the opposite of that. No, he's right. He's real. He's real. He's just holding the pitchfork backwards. That'm the opposite of that. No, he's right. He's real. He's real. He's just holding the pitchfork backwards. That's all he's doing. That's all he's doing. I'm the opposite of the devil. And these people that say they're your leaders,

they want to kill you and your family. And you're good. Why? You know it. Vote Donald Trump if you want to live. No. That's the tagline for the new Terminator movie Arnold Schwarzenegger

is like vote Donald Trump if you want to live I'll pass actually I'm more than happy to just not do that okay let's talk just for a second I feel like that's what they're all here to see why are they wanting to kill other people I don't understand his connection I'm so? I don't understand his connection, right?

He's saying... I'm so glad you don't understand that connection. I know. I would be so worried about you right now. But they have free health care, so we could just... I know. It'd be okay. Actually, this is the place.

If you're going to have your breakdown, when you have your breakdown. Is America covered? Are we covered still under the colonial plan? Or did we break that? I don't know. It's like when you break up and you're still calling every now and again like, hey, I know it's been a couple of hundred years, but you guys have health care, so. Winky face. I don't know.

Fucking sent an emoji to your health care system. But seriously, he's got this idea that they want to kill yeah but what is this what is in their best fucking interest to kill all the people they all the people that they're ruling that's how you rule people first you kill them and then you're in charge of them and then what you have to do is bury them or they stink i don't know it makes no sense at all i can't no all right next clip it's that simple death is what the globalists have to offer period death we have crazy people like george soros and tim kaine and others that will end this planet if they have their way all right okay now hold on a second hold on a second if

people don't follow american politics they probably have no idea who Tim Kaine even is. I had no idea who he was. The American people didn't know who he was a couple weeks ago before Hillary named him. I know. We had no idea who this guy was. He's the least intimidating person I've ever seen in my entire life. He looks like a fucking marionette. That guy looks...

He's weird. He looks like a face hedgehog Play-Doh dummy guy. You see him, and he's kind of got this weird grin that you're sure he doesn't believe either. You know, he's like, is this how people do it?

And he's like, trying to like prop himself up with toothpicks or something. But he's come into the limelight now because he's part of the, he's part of Hillary's ticket. So now, now before,

fucking Alex Jones never mentioned fucking Tim Kaine ever, ever, ever in a show. But now he's super important show and now he's like oh he's trying to end the world you didn't know that

I fucking I found out everybody knows found out two weeks ago yeah because now he's got all the power of being a vice president

that's how I've got all the powers of the vice president what kind of fucking superpower is if you die then I'm in charge that's your fucking

superpower you get a really nice napping spot in Congress that's it you get instead of the oval office you get like a hexagonal office it's weird and nothing hangs on the wall right all right so i think this might be the last one we'll see they're megalomaniacs they must be stopped the threat isn't russia people the threat is tim kaine and george soros and hillary clinton and barack obama again barack Barack Obama has had a lot of time.

He is the worst threat. He is still, like, the guy's got 15 minutes left. And he's got all these evil plans. They've been telling us for eight years that he's going to fucking run roughshod. That guy can't, in eight years, to be ineffective, and he did a great job of it. He was super ineffective.

He didn't do anything. He's the worst evil genius ever. Like, he's like, he, like, locked his keys inside his volcano lair. He's the worst evil genius ever. He locked his keys inside his volcano lair. He's just like, fuck, fuck. He doesn't know his garage code. He's like, no, can you go knock it again for me, please? The NSA guy's like, again, again, really?

He's just got the coat hanger. He's out. He's cold. Can somebody bring him a coat? They're the clear and present danger. They're the occupiers. They represent the foreign banks. They're going to sit in New Zealand and be okay when there's a nuclear war?

Most models show all major life on Earth dead, dumbass. Yeah, dumbass. Cecil, why are you doing the thing like this that you do? No. Yeah, there you go. There you go. New Zealand. I know. New Zealand. Yeah, where the hobbits live. doing the thing like this that you do that no yeah there you go there you go new zealand i know new zealand yeah where the hobbits live that's like we're all gonna we're all gonna go to mordor

to make sure that we survive the nuclear war probably a volcano down there it's where the evil layer is that's the evil layer yeah the nuclear person the only person who's talking about nuclear weapons though is trump like he's the only one who so far has said yeah i'd fucking yeah in a way that makes you think that he would use a nuclear weapon. Yeah, he'd be like, fuck, I'm a pussy. I mean, he would just nuke him. Jesus, man. No.

I made him shake his head. Come on now, that's pretty fucking good. No, I'm comfortable at all, actually. A little turned on. Even if you were just corrupt, why do you want to have an earth that's ruined? Because you people are satanic. Well, fuck us then. That's ruined because you people are satanic well fuck us then that's it because you're satanic well fuck off and drop the mic he's done that's it

we're satanic so now we all we're gonna bomb the earth and then they're gonna go hold on i'm gonna rephrase this he's gonna go to new zealand because everybody forgot all right i don't know and they're not gonna bomb new zealand which i would agree like why would you waste a bomb on new zealand nobody would notice it went off like a bunch of sheep you cook a bunch of sheep yeah I'd be like we blew up New Zealand and be like

fucking what's for lunch I don't where is that like nobody even knows where it is like find New Zealand on a map just like

here I don't know it doesn't say America on it anywhere wait have you ever heard like make New Zealand great again like you've never heard that

there's no hats that say New Zealand anywhere. You're right. When you're right, you're right. I know. Don't the demons require people? Like, don't they require people to, like, get inside? I've seen Supernatural. That's how that works.

It comes out of your mouth, face, and then goes. Well, then why would they blow them all up? It doesn't. Because the demons like the dead. I don't know, man. Maybe they don't like the commute. Maybe they're like, if we kill all the people. That's probably it. You kill all the the people and then their souls go down to hell

and the demons are like oh man good because the fucking traffic's a bitch they gotta listen to audiobooks the whole ride it just fucking sucks they're like they're on audible credits they're like fucking jesus i gotta listen to this cognitive dissonance garbage oh yeah right can we just kill them all they're like the demons are like is there a demonic form of suicide like where and where do they go if there is? Like, they kill themselves like, fuck, I'm back here again! It didn't work! And you've been given power because you've been

possessed. You've been turned over to evil. Let me tell you something. George Soros and Hillary Clinton, you just look at them. Those aren't people, okay? They're clearly people! No, no, they're lizard people. Oh, yeah. I guess when you put it that way. Yeah, he's a racist. There's... No, they're lizard people. Oh, yeah. I guess we need to put it that way. Yeah, he's a racist. Can demonic spirits attach themselves to inanimate objects?

The answer is yes. But I don't think every sweater you get from Goodwill has demons in it. But in a sense, your mother's just being super cautious. But in a sense, your mother's just being super cautious. So, hey, it didn't hurt you to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes. I love that. I love I love that clip every time. That is a great. All right. So this one is Pat Robertson.

Demonic Dungeons and Dragons captures its players. So here's the first clip. This is a viewer who says, my husband's been playing an online game with other people and the game includes elements of witchcraft. He doesn't think it's bad, but since he started playing the game my daughters and I have witnessed really weird

things happening in our home. Yeah, like dad ignoring you. I know, right? Yeah, I'll take the fucking garbage out later Helen. I need to get to level 70. I can't raid with my guild if I'm not level 70. I have no idea what that means. I know.

No, I don't ever want to learn what that means. That was for you. It's nothing. Like, his fucking husband is not playing online games. He's in there fucking jerking off to gangbang casting couch porn. That's what he's doing. That's what he's doing. That's it.

I'm going to need a minute. For research purposes, right? Wait, doesn't their book include witchcraft? Like, isn't that like in their book? Yeah. They love that shit.

Well, then why the fuck are you super mad about it? Why am I? I'm just mad about everything. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's my thing. Like, so I start off mad and then I'm mad

sort of in the middle and then at the end, still angry. Okay. And then, but there's a refractory period, so it's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. That's when he's open for hugs. Yeah. We've anointed the house. How do I pray for my husband, and how do I convince him that he's bringing bad things into our home? He gets angry when I bring it up.

That's because he's anointing himself. Right? You know what I mean? It's fucking, you're interrupting him. He's fucking, just let him finish. Just let him finish, you fucking evil-spirited harpy. What the fuck is wrong with you? I just have one goddamn minute.

He's fucking in there, and she's fucking burning sage and shit. It's so fucking distracting. That ruins the mood, man. Right? It doesn't ruin it, but again, you've got to power through, man. You've just got to power through. Well, I think you need to get a senior person. Maybe you can find a minister or some trusted advisor who would tell him this is a problem.

A senior person? Like a Mexican? Oh, and that's a senior person. There's nobody more senior than fucking Pat Robertson. That's it. Like when Pattson's like find an old person like you are the old but you are the old person she went to for help she went his advice was go find somebody to give you some advice yeah that's his fucking that's

the advice that's it hey i need some advice yeah hold on maybe you should talk to cecil that's what i do like it seems hard seems hard. What's he going to say we should do? There was a game called Dungeons and Dragons. Fucking spit it out, son. What I love is that is the only role-playing game

they know of. There's actual role-playing games out there where you can be a fucking actual demon. Like, you can role-play as an actual demon. And they never bring up any of those it's just the one major one and it's because of the 70s or something is there one where you can be like pat robertson is there is there a role-play game where you can be like on the 700 club and like you roll a dice to see if you give

shitty advice to assholes or live yeah right yeah he just keeps rolling 20s or whatever you're supposed to roll. Your saving throw is a defibrillator. The people got into role-playing. The next thing you know, they were in a fantasy world that really captured them. Yeah, look, sometimes... Why are you doing the face thing again? This is... You're making... I don't understand this thing with role-play.

Is fucking life that boring? Like sometimes a tie goes on your neck. Sometimes it's a blindfold. It's time to fucking get in that shit. Like, we can't even role play. I gotta, I gotta go into this as me every time. Like get fucking way more adventure out of it when I'm like, I'm someone else. Just close your eyes.

Picture literally that guy down the street, our neighbor. I don't care. I'm gonna put on this Brad Pitt name tag. that guy down the street, our neighbor. I'm going to put on this Brad Pitt name tag. What I love too is he's referencing a shitty B-movie called Mazes and Monsters, and it's from the 80s, and it starred Tom Hanks. So that's what he's referencing. Jesus Christ.

He's referencing. He doesn't realize that his memories include old after school specials. He thinks those were real. Well, he only has long term memories at this point. That's it. Like, every memory for him is a long-term memory. That's all he's got. So it is demonic. Demons are out

to destroy you, and your husband needs to understand that. Demons are dicks, man. What the fuck? I mean, like, again, like, the husband is not playing a fucking video game in there, right? He's jerking off, and he needs to just learn to do what every fucking married man does, take his phone into the bathroom and jerk off in shame like everyone else.

Like, it's an easy problem to solve. And then he gets quiet, and then he gets quiet. The Bible says they're going to eat their arms. The Bible says they're going to eat their arms. The Bible says they're going to eat their babies. Why would you do that? Then it says they're going to eat their children. Wait, where in the Bible does it say that? That's what people do

when they get hungry. It is. I've been real hungry. I've been real fucking hungry. I've never looked at my kids and been like, I'd eat them. I don't know. I I mean if Grubhub doesn't get here soon Not the whole thing, just the arm I just want a wing

So this is Jim Baker Hillary Clinton's pneumonia was God's warning of imminent collapse so order more food buckets So this is Jim Baker Something's going on People are ordering again. All the big generators are gone.

All the green, the middle portable generators, they're at the end. We can't offer any more. We have a few in stock that are just the protection that we have to stop that's right stop yeah so it's the stock tom that you can't i can't even hold myself back i know like we set these clips up ahead of time like so i don't interrupt but it's like are you fucking kidding me it's like we can't sell anymore we only have a few left in stock then you can sell the ones you have in stock you're that bad at this you're that fucking bad at this do you know what these are just our saving not selling stocks yeah these are these are those

are yours now they're not in stock that's what it's stock means what the fuck i god um somebody here i might still be able to get one while i'm taping, but we projected ahead and we are really out of them. And it's crazy. Something's going on. When you move with the profits, you know when things are happening. The events show what's going on. The events show you what's going on. The events, that's what events are. Events are the things that are going on. Definitionally. I can't.

The events will show you what's happening. What the fucking can't do otherwise. The event couldn't actually not do that. It couldn't. It just, there we go. No, no, no. I'm so mad. I do want to talk though.

What he's doing is he's trying to sell it to the people in the audience because i do want to talk about like god what he's doing is he's trying to sell it to the people in the audience because they're not selling right so that's what he's doing he's like he's not fucking out of them it's like it's like call now because this deal is only going to last 10 minutes it's right because the armageddon's in 11 minutes and we're going to ship it to you like fucking six to eight weeks like you're saying like i hope the armageddon doesn't get here before my food generator or whatever fucking garbage he's selling for kevin costner as the postman to deliver it, yeah.

And I'm telling you, what's going on with this election? Well, they're going to elect people. Hillary Clinton collapsed. Do you know what day she collapsed on? 9-11. 9-11. You knew that. That's the best He's like Holy shit

You knew something She knew the most Elementary fucking Bit of trivia You're amazing It's like You But he was startled

He was on his own show With his own wife He's like You knew something That's like if I did a work I won't But if like If I did

You would be Don't worry You would be like Fucking what You accomplished a task Like I know I'm just as surprised as you, man. Well, the time we know that she collapsed.

Let's put it that way. The one that we all saw. Yeah, the last collapse. Yes. If Hillary collapses and no one sees it, does it require a box of wine? It doesn't require it, but it's still aided by it. I love it's like, well, the one we saw. Yeah, that's the one we're aware of.

Again, that's how being aware of things works. Like, maybe we're not aware of the things we don't know. Yeah, there's the known knowns and the unknown knowns. Right? She fucking rumsfelded that shit. She totally did. And I wrote something down. There was more.

But it's the 15th anniversary of 9-11. Oh, my God. She collapses. There's another piece that I've written it down. I hadn't shared this yet. You had to write it down. Yeah, hell yeah. And I sent them. I don't know if I've sent it to you or not.

I think I did. I didn't receive that one. But I sent it to a couple prophets. Uh-huh. Just my fucking prophets email drop down. Like, hang on a minute. I got to send this to the prophets. Distribution list.

Who's omniscient? Who knows the future? Okay. Future knowersers Are you fucking kidding me I'm gonna send this to the prophets You got a yahoo group I said what could this mean Oh yes Oh yes I did

Nobody answered me 9-11 was That's amazing. We don't have to do anything. All we do is bring you stupid Americans and you guys eat this shit up. It's fucking amazing. Probably the most stern

warning God ever gave to America. And a lot of people don't want me to say that. Who doesn't want you to say that a lot of people that won't answer his emails that's it like a lot you know what's hard about this this jim baker shit is he pauses so long trying to think of the next insane thing to say i can't tell when you're pausing it or when the clip is starting inside because it's just he's just like what is the next craziest thing i can say did you guys know 9-11 happened in September? Coincidence? I think not.

9-11. All right, we'll start that over. That was good. Throw that guy out. But 9-11 was the harbinger. If you haven't read the book The Harbinger, you need to read it. It's also a word. Hillary did collapse on that day. I saw it with my own eyes. And it's the 15th anniversary of 9-11.

Because time. And she was at 9-11. She was at a calendar. She was at and on the spot of 9-11. That's the last. That's the fucking newsflash he was going to send to his fucking profit Yahoo group. I know. That's it.

That's it. Yeah. Did you know the former senator of New York and future, I mean, and political candidate, fucking probable future president was at the 9-11 memorial? Oh, why? why would she be there what a strange thing that she showed up to the 9-11 memorial on 9-11 be fucking weird if she did it on like 9-10 right he's saying like it's like a fucking thing like oh can you believe hillary was there what fucking can't believe she wouldn't be there well if she showed up on 9-10

that would explain the collapse the next day. You know, if she had collapsed... Sorry, so now you fucking interrupt me. I was playing. No, go ahead. It's all you. Thank you. I got time? I can start and stop

and make it harder. This is half your show. That's distressing to think about that, isn't it? You know, it would have been great, though, if she had collapsed just vertically. Vroom!

You know? Then I'd buy the conspiracy. Then I would be like, holy shit! I don't think there's enough jet fuel. Yeah, pneumonia doesn't melt bones. Some of you profit people, I know there's profit people in the room here. You understand, you hear from God.

That just happened. There's a collapse coming. No, no. Yeah, he's pausing. Much bigger than that collapse. That is the prophetic signal that that would be on 9-11. At 9-11. No, that's next clip. All right, here we go. No, that's next clip.

All right, here we go. God, that's ridiculous. What could just... Why is he drawing some kind of coincidence about a planned event? I don't know. It's not like nobody noticed that 9-11 was coming and they were going to...

Hey, maybe we should do something for this this year. Like we do every fucking year. Like we do every fucking... Are we going to do something? Yeah, of course. We have our national cry. Right? Fucking have our tragedy porn.

Yeah, we're just like, oh, everybody's got the big weepies. Did you watch the buildings collapse today? You give me the odds for that happening. 100%. The odds of a 68-year-old person that is ill falling down, isn't that their national sport? We win the gold in that show. Are you kidding me?

Where the towers came down 15 years ago to that date. Again. It's an anniversary. They're always on the same day. Jesus. No wonder it goes through wives like this. So do I, but still. Jesus. It's time to be ready. No wonder it goes through wives like this So do I, but still Jesus

It's time to be ready I guess we were talking about the 90 day buckets, weren't we? Here we go Did we get off the track of the buckets? We did Did we lose? Anybody want to buy some buckets? Initially we were going to talk about buckets

Man And we only do have a certain amount of buckets left that we can do that special deal with. I mean, we've gone over what we're supposed to do for the sale buckets. What does that mean? I don't know. You either have buckets to sell or you don't. He doesn't know. That's how inventory works.

He has no idea. He's like, we're over the 90-day bucket. Over what? What are you over? What are you over? I don't understand. This guy needs a business manager or a lawyer because he's going to jail again. All right, we've got another one. I'm going to play a transition clip, and we're going to get another Jim Baker in

because we have enough time for one more. I don't want to get into debate about climate change, but I will just simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that. Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There's no factories on Mars that I'm aware of. I'm so embarrassed to be American. That was one of our leaders.

That's so embarrassing. Oh, my God. Oh, gosh. All right. So here's Jim Baker. I am that was that was one of our leaders so that's so embarrassing oh my god oh gosh alright so here's Jim Baker he has somebody they're talking about some global warming on Jim Baker's show

so I heard Obama speak at the United Nations and he again was saying one of the biggest issues

and he was taking credit for helping. And I know you were part of a movie and a lot of research that you've done and all about climate change. Part of a movie. And he had made a statement that climate change is a greater threat than ISIS. It is. Right. Yeah. climate change is a greater threat than ISIS it is right yeah yeah climate change is like kind of a real big fucking deal yeah and he's just I like he's like well you were part of a movie so you're my panel expert

right now are you kidding was it god awful movies like what it's fucking Eli Bosnick is gonna just show up on every panel now because he's an armature yeah and yes yes did it again sting smally during the show so uh one of the things that i'm and this is this is serious why doesn't why why doesn't jim baker latch on to global warming i would think that if you're trying to

sell buckets right that's what his fucking goal is he's a fucking fraud he's a bucket salesman who sells fucking gross free dry shit in a bucket right and he wants to sell this garbage to you why wouldn't he be like, yeah, fucking climate change. Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think. That shit is fucking real. That is super duper real. And, but it's, I just don't know.

He should just have a constant projection of like sad polar bears and like. And Al Gore. Right. Right. A sad Al Gore even would be fine. That's actually a good point. Like the progressives actually, you know, like the believe in the science and such like you just gotta project that out yeah like do you want fucking my basket projections are off oh my fucking climate projections are right on you need some

like if somebody needs some buskets you need them for this do you believe that? Well, you know, I did. I was a part of that year-long thing, and I did. You know, I tried to go into that research and all and that experience with Open. I said, if it's real, I want to know the truth. If it's not, I want to know the truth. I just want the truth. I really didn't care which way

landed but i wanted to be true and i i went into it maybe 45 percent a skeptic climate change skeptic 45 percent open really open maybe believing there is something to it i got to about 98 skeptic your math doesn't add up he left off 10 and they just went to 90 he doesn't this guy should project the buckets i hate i absolutely hate when they say skeptic instead of the denier too because a skeptic is somebody who looks at the evidence and then makes their decision based on that a denier is someone like is like well yeah but we really had a cold winter last year. Right. Yeah, exactly. Like, has anyone else noticed weather?

And like, yeah, well, that's not climate. So you're confusing those things because you're an idiot. Wow. During that thing, maybe 99. I mean, we're just the craziest science. No, this is a political agenda. More than anything else. this is a political agenda. More than anything else. It is a political agenda.

And then you go back to the 30s. This is what we need to go back and see. You know, when the Communist Party USA changed their name to the Progressive Party in the 1930s because Stalin was becoming so unpopular. He was also the head of the Progressive Party. Stalin was becoming unpopular. Which is crazy because he was voted most likely to succeed.

Stalin was like, these guys don't like me at all. I feel sad. Stalin was becoming, hey guys, I think we've hitched our wagon to the wrong guy. But Stalin. Yeah, let me go to America and start a new – We'll call it progressive. He's talking about the progressive. I looked up this progressive labor party which only existed for like five years.

Yeah, and that's a different name. Yeah, totally. But they used progressive so scary. Yeah, I'm scared. Terrifying. They laid out a plan for subduing America. Back in the 1930s, they followed that plan. Taking over the media, taking over education,

taking over how to gradually do this through re-education. Everything. They followed their plan to a T. But one of them was to cop the youth will always respond to environmental issues, and we have to keep inventing crisis so that we can be the ones who save the world. Or the answer to saving the world over and over.

How do you save the world from global warming? Well, we're doing a terrible job of it. Didn't we just go past like a- Like a critical tipping point? We keep going past all the critical tipping points. Like they're just like, hey, if we don't do something, and then we don't do anything. This is the worst seesaw ever. Right? It's just like if I'm on one side, I'm like, sorry up there.

Sorry up there. I love that he's like, yeah, we know that the youth is going to respond to environmental issues. You knew this before you presented the youth environmental issues for them to respond to. How would you know? We just know. We talk to the profit people. We send them an email. And that's how we know. I'll tell you.

I'm still hoping to get the tape of me and Ronald Reagan. It's an amazing tape. That's a brand new clip. That is. That's a brand new clip. That is. That is a brand new clip. And we're at our time. I can't play that one for you guys. Do you guys want to hear one more? Alright. They said yes.

Really? They said yes loudly. Alright. Well this is Jim Baker talking to his bobblehead about his interview with Ronald Reagan that he had a long time ago. Which he's fucking super proud of. Yeah, oh yeah.

He's fucking, this guy is still, he interviewed Ronald Reagan and he's still fucking hard about it. Like, it's been more than four hours, he needs to see his doctor. I'll tell you, I'm still hoping to get the tape of me and Ronald Reagan, and it's an amazing tape of 45 minutes with him that no one has seen yet. He really... But it's great. I'd like to call that tape the day Ronald Reagan became a prophet. Right.

You know, that's when he joined the email list. He won't answer. He forgot't answer. He forgot about it. I actually was able to view it with you. They let us watch it, the people that have it. And mom was there. Little Lori was there.

I was there. What's one thing he said that you think? And it was in 1970 1970 what's one thing he said that is in your brain well first of all it was in 1979 yeah the thing that's in her brain is it was in 1979 yeah there's nothing in her brain yeah that's what's it she's still searching desperately she's trying to finish her sentence and he won't let her finish because the only thing she has to say is the date that it happened that's it she's like you're gonna call me out on not knowing stuff let me know the one thing i know it's is the date that it happened. That's it. She's like, you're going to call me out on not knowing stuff. Let me know the one thing I know. It's like he's asking the mechanic, is there anything you can do now?

If we fucking push this thing anymore, we're going to bust the middle of La Blancada. No, that's as good as it gets. When you interviewed him, he was the governor at the time of California, and he said if America doesn't turn back to God, Sodom and Gomorrah will happen. That's not how... Did it already happen, supposedly? Like fake happen already? Sodom and Gomorrah will happen.

That's not... It's like saying Cincinnati will happen. Right? You can't do the name. The worst part about Cincinnati is it just keeps happening. I know, I know. It's not Manchester's like saying Cincinnati will happen Right You can't do the name The worst part about Cincinnati Is it just keeps happening I know I know

It's not Manchester It's fine Oh It's a beautiful city What the fuck is wrong with you I mean America will become Sodom and Gomorrah

Both of them That was in 1979 Yeah still waiting I know right In 1979 he made a prediction That hasn't happened in all the intervening time. God's like, sorry, I was out deer hunting. I was deer hunting for like 37 years. So I got a hell of a dough, though.

They were saying the same things about him as they're saying about trump today the reason i mentioned trump is because he's pro-life. He is, believes in protecting our borders. What about the Supreme Court? Let's talk about that. Very slowly. What about... God, let's fucking talk. It's like they're powering down all the time.

They don't know what the next thing that they're about to say is. They're just like, let's talk. Is she right on their fucking hand or something jesus take a note you're gonna be on tv you fucking idiots take a note i made notes we're very proud of you tom i know they love me they all love me they tolerate you they tolerate me like me oh i mean that is huge and when i heard him say i hear that all the time and i because i am first time anybody's ever said that to me too oh no they're talking about my stuff thank you that's huge a news watcher like to a fault probably you know but um but when i heard him say the other day, and you referenced it, that he said...

Who's him? Trump now? The first thing he would do when he gets into office, one of the first things, like a couple things, he said, overturn Roe versus Wade. You can't do that. He's going to kill all the Supreme Court members. And then just raise a case up to the... Or he'll just send them to jail, right? I love these guys who are just like, well, the president is going to fix the change,

the amendments, and you're just like, that's not how this works. You don't know how any of this works. They don't know how this works either, though. Yeah. Our guys don't wear wigs. That's one difference.

Do you have to call the queen to get things done? Does the queen have veto power with a scepter or some shit? Those people, the people in their parliament, is that what they call it? They are fucking snazzy dressers. They are, right? They are. They look good. They get fucking, they get aggressive, too. They fucking yell over each other.

They all look like the Quaker Oats guy. And I was like, wow. Now see, he's gonna be more hated And I was like Wow Now see He's going to be more hated for that Than anything else They will kill for that They will kill him for that

Well this is what I have I mean the devil The demons of hell He doesn't give a shit about her Will come out to protect The killing of babies That's true though of hell. He doesn't give a shit about her. Will come out to protect the killing of babies. That's true, though.

The devil is going to come out of hell. And do what? Like, run for Supreme Court justice? I'd like to be on the panel, please. I just got out of the Quiznos. Can I be open for consideration? No, I think Satan will come up and run his name's trump i'd like to make hell great again but i have a problem the devil loves to kill i have a problem with preachers try to kill jesus

try to kill moses at birth they're not even talking about the same shit anymore talking over each other. It's like us. Nobody's fucking hearing anything. And nobody's listening. He said that baby Moses was supposed to be killed at birth, I guess. It was at the end of that. Let's listen to it again real quick because he says... Well, here's what I have a problem with.

The devil loves to kill. I have a problem with preachers. Tried to kill Jesus. Tried to kill Moses at birth. Tried to kill Moses at birth. But didn't he say try to kill Jesus, too? He tried to kill Jesus. Try to kill Moses at birth. Try to kill Moses at birth. Wait, did he say try to kill Jesus, too? Well, he succeeded. I know.

Newsflash, Jesus is fucking dead. Ticked, right? Nailed it. Literally. And on that note, Tom is going to read The Skeptic's Creed for you guys So Tom you have a minute or so Because that's how long the chance is

A minute I can do it twice A refractory period in between Do you have it on one of those many tabs you have open? I do That's still Pornhub Okay Are you ready to go boss? Let's do it.

All right, guys. Hey, before we go. Yeah. Thanks so much for joining us today. We really did have a great time. Thank you so much. Oh, we're having a genuine moment. Yeah. This was our first live show ever,

and I was absolutely terrified to come up here because I normally just sit in a tiny room with my best friend, and this was a lot of fun. This was great. This was awesome. All right, so I'm going to play this. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couchton, Scientician, Double Bubble, Toil and Trouble, Pseudo-Quasi-Alternative, Acupunctuating, Pressurized, Stereogram, Pyramidal, Free Energy Healing, Water, Downward Spiral, Brain Dead, Pan, Sales Pitch, Late Night, Info-Docutainment. Leo Pisces, Cancer Cures, Detox, Reflex, Foot Massage, Death in Towers, Tarot Cards, Psychic Healing, Crystal Balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues,

temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. expose your sides thrust your hands bloody, evidential conclusive doubt even this I didn't fuck it up

yay The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butt hurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis, no refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council

and viewers like you. Keep being nervous and my phone's not on silent and then I realize it's like fucking four in the morning or something real people time. I'm like fuck someone. No, no one's gonna. It's fine. Everyone's asleep because I should be asleep. I can't believe you guys are here to listen to a podcast live.

That's fucking insane, right? Let's all get together and look at an audio production. They're going to say things. That we'll listen to later. We could listen to it. Right? I know. They're going to say things. Let's watch. Hey, that's not how... Do you want us to record it? This isn't recorded, right?

No, this isn't. Come on. That's not how... Do you want us to record it? This isn't recorded, right? I worry every now and again, and then I realize I'm a terrible parent, but every now and again I'm like, man, my kids are going to listen to some of the shit I've said. Like, out loud. And I don't know at what age they're going to find the show. It's going to happen.

But at some age, they're going to find the show, and I have no idea at what age you want to hear your dad say the things that I've said. What is the appropriate age for Rufy the Rapy Reindeer? Is that like... They don't put that in the handbook.

When they hand you the kid, they're like, if you're going to sing a song about a rapy reindeer, make sure that he only hears that. Oh my god, never? I don't know what the time is. Right? Oh my God. Just don't become Republican. Trump's daughter knows that he called her a piece of ass.

I mean, you know. Yeah, how do you wake up with that? The idea is you don't wake up with that. When you wake up, that? The idea is you don't wake up with that. Well, you wake up and you're like, Ah! Jesus, all of you people want to see us? That's what I was just saying. They're here to watch an audio program.

They're fucking doing this wrong. You know what we should do? We should turn around and face the other way. At least the whole fucking time. Just be like, here we go. We should do that right now. We should just be like, here we go. Oh! Oh!

Dude. I know, I have one feeling and you just heard it. Oh. No, it's gone. It's gone. That was my heart space area. Yeah, no, we're just waiting for God of War movies 2. I know, I hear it's good. Is it good? Yeah. Ah.

Damn. You opening your eyes. That's good, is it good? Yeah. Damn! Damn! Oh, wow. Can security remove that person? Let's see what we got here. What we have is this bottled water stuff, which has no caffeine or alcohol in it.

It's like, it's like, it's like ingredients no caffeine or alcohol in it. It's like ingredients. That's all this is. It's just ingredients. What is happening? I'm going to play this. Let's see. We're good. No, we're still lost, buddy.

That's it. We're as good as we're going to get. I know. Hey, do you want me to sign on my phone or just keep it so it buzzes in the middle of the show? It's your favorite? Yeah. Is there anything that could cough a lot during this production? Yeah.

I got it, bud. Warming up. Test, test. All right. That sounds weird. It's still us. Hey, he said just, you know, I'm going to forget. You've got to hit record, I guess, on the recording unit.

And then stop. I'll put this back in. Hang on. It looks expensive, and I shouldn't. That's exactly where it should be. He was like, just hit record, then you hit stop. And he told me like three times. And you didn't understand a single time that he said it.

It's two fucking buttons. Can you go over it again? Can you write this down? Record. Just as a breath that's not the same thing is anyone else feels shaky I'm over in here it's a little queasy here so you guys from around here? Who came the farthest? Who flew the farthest? You.

No, not us. No, there's people from like Australia and stuff. Australia? They let you out, huh? I should get David Icke's book out. Yeah, we gotta get that. Oh, we gotta reference. It's way more than a little queasy.

We gotta get a reading talk. No. I'm not reading. Reading? I'm barely... Do you download the creed? No. Why don't you get the audience to read it to you? You had four weeks to plan for this show.

I asked you, I said, do you want to read the Skeptics Creed live? Yes, restart the live. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, I want to read it live. No, I don't want to read it live. Cool story. Okay. Well, make sure you have it when we get there.

Okay. Have you downloaded it yet? No, I'm in. I got 20 minutes? Like American minutes. It's fine. I quit the show. You can't quit the show. Now. You should open up one or two more tabs up there.

Will that help? Yeah, it helps. What I'll do is just go up. At this point it's just an icon. There's no writing next to it. Why are you... It's just an R for right wing. Watch R, R, R all the way across. I feel like you're being... Oh, and then Pornhub. Right there. Yeah, that's in the bookmark. So this is pretty much it, guys. So, uh, exciting.

Aren't you also missing whiskey? Tom is. Tom drinks. I'm missing it. I'm missing it real bad. Tom pretty much drinks all the time. He's got, like, a whiskey cup holder in his car. How about that Skeptics of the K? Anybody catch that Skeptics of the K this morning? Yeah, real good show, right? They're great.

They're like prepared and wrote stuff down. Wow. They had scripts. I will say that's not going to happen here, guys. I just got the Skeptics treat up. Here we go. Guys, I think he deserves a round of applause. Thank you.

On Sam and Sam's number? Sam. deserves a round of applause. Thank you. Let's see how much time we have left. Soon. Oh, he doesn't know. Soon. I've got 20 minutes to get ready. 15. Jesus. For a typical show, how many hours do you record?

We record about six weeks. About two and a typical show, how many hours do you record? We record about six weeks. About six weeks. About two and a half hours, depending. Sometimes up to three hours, and then we'll mix that down. It's like 45 minutes of Tom coughing. And then in the middle, there'll be a Grubhub delivery that we have to cut out. Yeah, that's actually 100% accurate. 20 minutes of me waking Tom up.

Kicking me under the table, like, come on. No, but about two and a half hours worth of work, and then we edit it down. And the editing process takes a long time. So the editing process. So he says, I've never seen it. I mean, I hear this shit all the time. It's a lot of work. I mean I hear this shit all the time, it's a lot of work. I like that they got the person with the worst handwriting in the entire world.

Like, we need to sign up, let's tear a piece of notebook paper like a third grader. They asked Mrs. Johnson's third grade class to collaborate on that sign. They did. But then they just randomly capitalized the I. They didn't capitalize the first E and then they did the last one. It's like, it's serious. But there's two exclamation points. It's how it's done over here.

It's like, maybe this is just a British way to like this. Will you stop? I love it here. This is an amazing country. I'm looking for a new co-host. Why are you going back? They're making it. When am I going back?

I said why. Why am I going back? Because I want real electricity and food. At some point. Me, me, me, me, me, me. We've got to get all of this. Here we go. We gotta get some other fucking intimate with this fucking thing.

There's a Google Doc in here, Cecil, real quick, called Overseas Stories. Should I have read that? What's that? Are all you people in the right room? Yeah, you guys know this is for cognitive dissonance. The podcast. No, you're making cheering sounds. That's weird.

I don't get that kind of reception no matter what I do. It's normally just... When you leave the room. That's a sigh of relief and a quick phone call is what that is. They don't drink in Scotland, do they? That's not a... I could barely understand the people last night.

Right? It's going to be fucking crazy. Well, livers are like kidneys. We've got two. When we go to Edinburgh. Right? That's a thing. Edinburgh.

Edinburgh, yeah. Is that how you say it, right? It might be pronounced Edenburg. Edenburg. Edenburg. You're right. That's right. That's how it goes, yeah.

I forgot to talk about it. What the... Can we get a translator? What was that? I don't even know. What just happened over there? Are you alright, sir? He had a stroke. He did. I think he did. What happened? Oh my god. I'm excited for you. Yeah, sure. Is he talking?

What's happening?