Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 334: Googly Eyes

Episode Date: December 26, 2016

Between the laughter, Tom and Cecil discuss recent and disturbing news about the death of a girl banished for menstruating and the Satanist 'Cum Rags for Congress' political statement. Lastly, we get to hear quizzes from the next chapter in David Icke's book, The Biggest Secret. Stories covered in episode: 

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hi, this is your smallest fan in Colorado. And with respect to episode 332, when I worked at NASA Goddard during the Reagan administration, I saw the destruction of EarthSat data. I saw the destruction of EarthSat data. So that's a real thing. The data just doesn't get copied onto new media when it expires. It just gets defunded exactly like you said.

Data was much harder to copy then. It's a little easier now, but there's a vaster amount of it. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Hey, CecilJ. Thomas, Devil Doc Josh from California. Just listen to the fucking Patreon show. I'm so glory. Fuck, this shit was great.

Thanks for the fucking laugh. Glory Hall. Have fun. Glory Hall, guys. This is James from This Thing Here. I was just listening to the latest episode where Tyler left the Steppish Creed, and I just wanted to say that he got it wrong. It's Tarot Card as in beep, beep. Just wanted to clear that up

and good day to you, sir. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 334 of Cognitive Dissonance.

And I got the thumbs up from Cecil because I did have to change at the last minute. I know I mislabeled the notes. You did mislabel the notes. They were 333, and then we released that. I had confidence, though. I knew because you listened to it today, and I was like, there's no way he's going to mess this up. He messes up so many other things.

Yeah, it's true. I was like, this is the one thing he's going to get right this week. And that's it. And now it's downhill. That's the best part is that at this point, I have achieved by getting a number right, the highest possible expectation I can, I mean, I feel. You're the pilot who was able to get the landing gear into the plane.

And that's as far as you go. Now it's like fucking just take your hand off the wheel and go get a drink with the stewardesses. Is that all I get to do with the stewardesses? Well, you have only about 30 seconds before the plane crashes. I can do it twice. I'm not that young anymore. I got

one and a drink. You can do one and then pant. Can I pant while? Excuse me, ma'am, while I sweat on you. Do you even have to breathe? 15 seconds? Yes, I do it's not anaerobic fucking oh you know what kills me is that we start the show hold on what kills you what kills you tom huh how interesting i'm trying to transition here, goddammit. This is called a segue. Yeah, it is.

We start the show and it's all fun and jovial. Hey, and that's the intro that it's like. And this first story. And then like your heart just is like, I'll just fall right out. So this is from the BBC. Nepal police

investigate death of girl banished for menstruating. So, the fuck? I was shocked by this story. It turns out in Nepal, if you are menstruating, you get stuck in the menstruating hut.

They're just like, yeah, that shit's unclean. You're a grody pig person. You now go to the menstruation hut does menstruation hut deliver it's oh no you know the practice that this is this is called the difference between pizza and menstruation you're just like you're just like in a blind taste test we've switched their their regular pizza he had a great joke though about chicago pizza he called it like a like a bus tub miscarriage or something like that it was really it was really funny um this stuff is called so it's an ancient hindu practice it's called chow potty, chow potty, which makes sense because chow means maxi.

So it's maxi pot, I think, is where. You know, they always bust on girls. You know, I always order the chow potty. Do you? Yeah, extra spicy. Extra spicy. I. Extra spicy? I don't know about spicy. I do.

Actually, you're probably right. If it's a Nepalese girl, you're probably right. It depends on how long it's been since the last bath. Well, they can't come in the house. So it's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. Extra spicy, you're right. It's got a unique patois.

You always hear about girls being banished for having their period. What about boys and wet dreams? Do they send them to the cum hut? You gotta go outside of the cum hut. That's it. Another one? Jesus. Just whack off before bed like everybody else.

The fuck is wrong with you? Then they find his cum sock under the bed. How else do you fall asleep at night? Are you kidding me? It's my melatonin. Jerk off and have a sandwich. That's a standard practice. What are you kidding me?

It's like a glass of warm milk. And if you're George Costanza, you do them at the same time. It's a glass of warm milk if you're george costanza you do them at the same time it's a glass of warm milk and poured up every night that's jesus this stuff you know what i don't i don't understand too is like it doesn't make any sense to banish them once they start menstruating shouldn't you banish them five days before you know what they're really getting bitchy that's such a dick thing to say that's such a dick thing to say we're going to skip right over there I want to talk about cultural relativism

though we're going to talk about something serious I would like to transition away from what I just said. One of the things that the relativists miss, I think, is how easily preventable these deaths are. They seem to think, like, they're like, oh, no, but, like, it's their culture and it's... Yeah, right. And you're like, but it's like... Would you argue with giving them vaccines?

Because they didn't have the vaccines beforehand. You know what I mean? Like, would you argue against that? There are some hardcore relativists that would argue. They would say that giving vaccines is colonialist. I have read that before. Yeah, yeah. That it's interfering.

Did C.J. Werleman, did he plagiarize something about this at some point? I don't know who wrote it first. It's hard to say. Because he's a thief of just of ideas just of ideas i mean they actually steal like real things right so yeah you know but that's it's a good point it's like now if am i a thief if i steal that joke from no illusions can you really plagiarize a plagiarism joke? I don't know. It's so fucking meta.

It's so fucking meta. It's like there's a series of mirrors all facing each other. Yeah, but like the cultural relativism argument falls apart, you know, for this girl, right? So this girl, the actual story is the girl gets banished to the fucking menstruation hut. And in the menstruation hut, there's no food, and there's little water, and they're stuck in this fucking hut. And she's cold, so she lights a fire and dies of suffocation. And there's no reason for

this to happen. This is what happens in a pre-scientific world, with a pre-scientific worldview, that is combined with a fear of women. Sure. Right? That's fear of women. Sure. Right? That's all this is. Sure.

There's nothing fucking scary about biology. There's nothing scary about menstruation. There's nothing gross about it. It's just fucking, it's how our bodies work. Well, I think, and I think this is irony. I'm not sure.

But they, in some communities, and I'm going to read it from the article, remote areas believe that they will suffer a misfortune unless menstruating women are excluded. And I'm thinking, well, your daughter died. Is that a good misfortune?

Is that a lesser misfortune than you were hoping to prevent? Right. And like, like back to your point about cultural relativism. It's not her culture anymore because she died. It's not her culture anymore. She's fucking dead. Maybe we could just swoop in. Could somebody swoop in? Like, I'm not saying we have just swoop in could somebody swoop in like

i'm not saying we have to swoop in and be like you guys all have to fucking read james joyce but maybe we could fucking swoop in and be like hey women aren't scary bodies be bodies yeah and that's it yeah that's just the whole thing be like this is how bodies work there's nothing weird about it it's just fucking it's just fucking blood yeah here's a fucking tampon let's call it a night yeah i mean it's not it's not a it's just a function of your body it's like everything else it's like it's like banishing somebody somewhere else because they gotta poop right it's the least scary thing it's so i mean it's just like okay well you know we all poop right there might be a little funny stuff that we could talk poo poo caca is funny you know that's funny but at the

same time it's like we still all do it we still all poop every day and we still all piss every day and we still all jack off and we still all every day it's like i'm not gonna a couple times look i don't want to limit it to every day um but you know like you know you still all do all these things that we still make fun of and we still joke around about and whatever and we can make fun of women's periods and pms and all that we can make fun of all that stuff because we know we're just these weird fucking saxo cells that do strange shit right we can all agree on that but at the same time we've got to accept that we're gonna do it like you know are you gonna you know beat your daughter for urinating you know because it's the same fucking thing, you know?

But that's part, you know, like there's this crazy idea that the body itself should always behave in exactly this way, in this clean, sort of sanitary, perfect kind of way. And it really, the shame of it is not only is it impractical, it's just not how bodies actually behave, right? But we also miss out on all kinds of great jokes. It's just not how bodies actually behave, right? But we also miss out on all kinds of great jokes. As soon as we recognize that we're just fucking meat puppets, like wandering around being like, I made a meat just like you. Then we can have all the fun.

I mean, imagine a world without fart jokes or dick jokes. We can open it up to menstruation jokes. Imagine a world without scat porn. You know what I mean? Wait, yes. Okay. I'm good with that. Yeah, I've decided I'm good.

You've crossed the line. Imagine a world without anal fisting. Okay, now we're back onto the no I don't want to imagine. That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. This story is from WPTV. Man behind satanic pentagram in Boca Raton is a middle school teacher. So this is – I think this is hilarious. So there is a satanic symbol, but it's not really a satanic symbol, right?

It's the new quote-unquote new church of Satan, like the new satanic temple church. It's an upside-down five-pointed star in a circle. It's a fucking – Rush used it on 2112 a fucking trillion years ago when star in a circle. It's a fucking, it's a rush used it on 2112 a fucking trillion years ago. Yeah, but remember all those people that died from Satan eating? Might've been a right side up. I don't remember if it was right side up.

It literally makes no difference. I know, it doesn't matter. It couldn't possibly matter. And there's a sign, there's a banner that says, keep Saturn and Saturnalia next to it, which makes me laugh. There's a picture of Saturn. What is awesome is it says underneath it, Freedom from Religion Foundation.

Right underneath it, right? Right, because what this really is, is this is, you know, and this is what the new sort of satanic temple and satanic churches are all driving at. They're not really worshiping Satan, right? I was wrong about that. And I think we were wrong about that initially. We thought that they were. We really thought, because you don't hear about this group right so what you

don't hear about is this group and what they're doing what you hear is you know these weird stories that are old wives tales i mean now maybe there's somebody out there who's fucking cutting each other and like drinking doing the black mass and all that maybe there is right maybe but the main portion of these people what they're doing is they're thumbing their nose at the religious establishment and making it look like publicizing religion is a bad thing. But they're emphasizing the separation of church and state by creating a church that the common churches are fundamentally opposed to having on public spaces, right? Right, yeah, yeah. So what's happening across the country is you've got a series of churches, and they've all sort of come together and said, we're the ones that count the most much, right?

And we want to have our nativity sets, we want to have all these public displays of religiosity on public property. And we want to blur that line, and this is just one example, they want to blur the line and erase the separation of church and state. And what's so brilliant about the satanic temple's approach is they say, okay, well, great, we're a religion too, we're the satanic religion, so you can all hate us. All the major monotheistic religions can be real uncomfortable with us just using that. And they're really an atheistic religion, and they say so. They're really an atheistic

religion, and they're going to put all of... Oh, you want to have your display? Well, we'll have our display. You want to blur the line between separation, church, and state? Sounds great. We'll blur it too. Sounds great. But remember, if your foot's in the door, my foot's in the door, and then all of a sudden these churches back the fuck

off, right? It's a genius approach. my foot's in the door. And then all of a sudden these churches get back the fuck off, right? It's a genius approach. It's a fucking genius approach. It's the argument from absurdity. Right. And they're doing it at a very large level. This area where this person put up this display is a display area where they put up nativity scenes. Right. And other things.

And this person calls it indoctrination and says that this is indoctrination and I'm showing you an alternative to what you could be indoctrinating into. And it's brilliant. I think it's a great way to handle this. And he's a middle school teacher and part of the story is that parents were upset.

They're like, he should be fired. And the school's like, we can't fire him for having a religion you don't like. We can't fire him for his activities that are religiously protected. And the parents are just like, well, but I don't like it. They're signing petitions.

They don't think that this... They'll never win. Well, it's so funny because they don't understand it. They don't understand what he's doing. They think he's a real Satanist. They think he's the drinking blood, I'm going to dance naked, and... Eating babies, all that kind of shit. I'm trying to actually summon a demon sort of guy, and all he's doing is saying, hey, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make fun of you. I'm going to dance naked and, you know, eating babies, all that kind of trying to actually summon a demon sort of guy. And all he's doing is saying, hey, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to make fun of you. I'm going to make fun of you and I'm going to make fun of religious people. And the point that the psalmist is making is when a nation sacrifices innocent children in abortion or infanticide, that is a sacrifice to demons. It's like food for demons, using that expression metaphorically. What I mean by that is that act of the shedding of innocent blood, the most innocent among us, it empowers satanic forces. So this story comes from broadly.vice.com, and it's just fucking amazing.

It's classy as fuck. Dude, this is a classy fucking fuck it dude this is a classy fucking show and this is a classy fucking story for this it is if you're looking for a reasoned well balanced interesting thoughtful portion

of this show this is the comrades for congress portion is probably your best wait a minute can we get out our monocles when we read this story? I think so. I'm going to. Because I'm going to get out my monocles. I have a bow tie.

Yeah, there we go. Secure it properly. I'm going to make sure my bow tie is perfectly. Top hat. You have your top hat set. And we'll have some shrimp cocktail. Yeah. There we go.

Classy as fuck, bitch. I'm going to make a drink for my globe bar. It's shrimp cocktail in a jar. My dad used to eat that garbage. I know what you're talking about. It's fucking. And the thing is, it's like just. It's gelatinized.

It's packed in fucking cocktail sauce. It is. And it's the worst. It's poison. It's botulism. It's poison. It's so bad. You could take it and you could fucking pull it

out of the syringe and inject it in your face and like watch your faces it's fucking straight botulism it's sold as a weight loss supplement do you like your asshole to feel like it's on fire do you like do you like shooting liquids out of your ass like you're vomiting them out of your mouth it's like it comes with a bucket so you can fucking get you get the fucking ass on the throne and the head of the bucket situation where you're just like oh god you ever had one of those one of those one of those uh like food poisoning moments where it feels like your ass is throwing up where it feels like that's heaving and it's like it's like and you're like what the fuck you're like wait what is happening that's a moment where food for your body's like we are getting rid of this it's just like you're ready to take off right

it's like what's like a rocket it could leave your bathroom i the the worst case of food poisoning i ever had i'm i'm sitting on the throne i have my head in... I'm leaned over to the side so my head's in the tub. So you can throw up in there if you have to. Oh, you are throwing up in the tub. I'm shitting and puking and I got the water running on my head and I'm just like, I just need to die. The only thing I'm thinking is just like, I don't want to live

in this body anymore. I don't care what happens to it. Somebody can take it. You can just fucking throw it away. I've ruined this one. This one is garbage now. And all I had was one thing, a cocktail trip. care what happens to it somebody can take it you can just fucking throw it away yeah i've just i've ruined this one this one is garbage and all i had was one thing a cocktail trip that's it so this story i don't even know if we even need to cover this story no i do want to talk about comrades for congress all right comrades for congress satanist protest texas abortion law with semen socks this is just beautiful i would name a cat semen i would name law with semen socks. This is just beautiful.

I would name a cat semen socks. I would name a band semen socks. Hello, Ohio! We are semen socks! I would make that a pet name for my mistress. What's up, semen socks? She doesn't talk very much. She's made of wool.

So? What's up, Seaman Socks? Yeah. She doesn't talk very much. She's made of wool. You have your cum right, but you put a little mouth on it. And googly eyes. Googly eyes and like some yard hair. And you're like, that's right.

That's right. And once in a while, her foreign friend comes in and I put it on the other hand. So your foreign cousin's in from France, eh? You're like doing a whole hand whooping play. It's like, hello, hello. You got a little French maid outfit once. You got all these, oh, I'm just here to clean. Do not pay attention to me, sir.

There's a whole fucking jerk-off sock puppet theater. With the whole sock puppets are fucking jerk off sock puppet theater. With a whole sock puppet. Fucking crusty and weird looking. They're all real stiff. Like they went through the starch cycle at the cleaners. So they're all kind of standing up on their own. And you can take them off and just set them there. And then.

You're trying to make the mouth move. And you just hear the... Oh, no! Oh, God! And then your mom watches one and you're like, Mom! What are you doing? I was saving that one!

Not Princess Penelope! You ruined Justine! Now I'm never going to know how this story ends. Okay. So comrades for Congress, let's get back to this. Because this is an important story. There should be a whole puppet theater. I know.

Cum sucks. Yeah. I think it could play opposite of puppetry of the penis. It's like a Punch and Judy show. That's only for the Dom section. Right. I know. Punch him in the balls. Oh, God.

All right. So Texas, we covered this the other day. Texas passed this ridiculous rule that miscarriages. They did put an injunction against this, or some judge did something to slow it down, right? Yeah, which is almost – all this is there for is to elevate to the Supreme Court, right? These sorts of rules, I think, are only being put into place so that these kinds of cases can begin to push the challenge further up into the court system. So, in

Texas now, if you have an abortion or miscarriage, unless you do it at home, which I think you can only do the miscarriage portion of the program at home. I'm not sure you're allowed to have the abortion at home. Requires a different set of process. Jim Henson's like, I've never been in such demand down and no that's that's actually where you bash the fetus's head against

that's all I'm saying in the snout so in the snout. So as a response to this ridiculous law in Texas, the Satanic Temple, which we just talked about, the Satanic Temple is saying, hey, great story. So if we're going to treat discarded tissue in a specific way, then we're going to treat semen, like discarded semen, in a specific way.

And the very best part is they sent it to him, Tom, and I want you to read this. Having mailed an ejaculate covered sock to Texas Governor Greg Abbott, along with a handwritten note that says, these are babies, please bury them. And the best part is it's spelled

like you would text it. R is the letter R and please is spelled B-L-Z. Please bury. Oh, God. It's so good. It's so great. It's so funny. Also, you had said, though, initially, and I kind of agree, like this is a little horrifying.

Oh, it's super horrifying. This is really pushing it to a level that I don't know that I would be comfortable. I certainly wouldn't send anything like this. I'd run out of socks. Yeah, I guess you could get them delivered Amazon now, though. Right. I was going to say Prime, but you're not going to wait two days. Two days? But the guy who started this, Blackmore guy, he says, it's evocatively titled Comrades for Congress.

He says the fetal tissue has the potential to become a human, but it's not a human yet, does not have consciousness, cannot exist without the mother. And he says basically like, look, this is fucking awful. I know that this is awful. I know it's crass. I know it's disgusting. I know it's filthy. But so is this law. This law is an abuse.

And it is an abuse of women, it's an abuse of people, and so the response should be equally crass. So the Satanic Temple founder, Lucian Greaves, said, Texas officials, health officials, are baldly imposing the view that fetal tissue is elevated to personhood, a religious opinion that conflicts with our own. If Texas is going to treat the disposal of fetal tissue differently from the disposal of any other biological material, they need to present a compelling state interest for doing so. Of course, there is no such state interest,

and it's perfectly clear the demand for fetal tissue burial is a putative measure imposed by sadistic theocrats. He's right. He's right. And this response, again, well, I am, I think it's horrible. Like, I think sending actual fucking cum rags to your congressperson is an

attraction. And they talk in this about, like, filling it with lotion and stuff. That's what they're talking about in this. Do it symbolically. It's a symbol rather than actually, you know, ejaculating into a, I save, those are for me. Those, I don't share are for me. Those are for me. I don't share those. That's not.

David Icke, what the fuck? So Tom, we have a chapter 18 from David Icke's book. We've been reading David Icke's book, The Biggest Secret, for several months now. And we've worked our way through it. We're nearing the end. Thank God. David Icke, in this chapter, went on and on and on for a very long time. It's a very long chapter.

Next chapter, we're actually going to have to split in half. It's so long. So we're going to have to do 19 A and B. But I wanted to, normally what I do is we normally do a quiz, and then we read the synopsis. But I think the synopsis, I'm not going to cover any questions. It's not going to go over any questions. I'm going to read the synopsis first.

I feel like I'm not worried about it. I'm going to read the synopsis first. Bring it home, buddy. Care about the queen? No? Then you didn't miss anything. You blatantly skipped this chapter. And neither did I.

I think from my quiz, you'll understand I felt very similar. All right, so you go first. Okay. So it turns out the coronating queen has a bunch of symbolic shit that goes along with it. Huh. What does this mean? A, that the whole fucking thing with kings and queens and dukes and what have you is an old-timey holdover from days gone by and people just dig the ritual.

B, nah, it's lizards. and people just dig the ritual. B. Nah, it's lizards. C. The Brotherhood Black Nobility of the Windsors and Saul and the later Ramses and maybe William the Conquerer and also Edward the Confessor. Does that sound like just a list of things? Yep, you're getting the idea.

D. That people think in fucking symbols because symbols are created as a shorthand for complex ideas and that's just how our minds work as pattern creating and identifying machines. It's nothing more than our basic human nature to do this. For Christ's sake, language is nothing more than this at heart. None of this means

anything. Is there an answer in there? There is an answer. No. No. You can pick whichever one you like. They're kind of all true, actually. Because I don't know the answer Because I don't know the answer. I don't know the answer. What does Ike do to frame the chapter so we can, quote,

make sense of what we are about to read, unquote? I don't even remember. A, tells us about the weekly ritual where the lizard queen is let off her leash at St. James Park for 30 minutes to chase the swans. Wait, why would she chase things she owns? She owns all the swans. Her lizard brain. B. Frames very carefully and without the slightest hint of a libel suit how the most powerful people on the planet are also from a different planet.

how the most powerful people on the planet are also from a different planet. C. Talks a lot about black nobility, which oddly has nothing to do with Yeezy. That was good. And D. Tells us that the Windsors are a black nobility bloodline and the queen was crowned in a brotherhood ceremony inside a brotherhood temple.

D, I'm so bored. I'm so bored. I'm so bored. I'm so bored. All right, Cecil. I skimmed this chapter. Yes, you did. Why did I do this? A, because despite myself, I still have respect for my time.

And if an entire page appears at a glance to be a nauseating list of names of people who are related to other people, it's all the same thing. There's just no way that I can pretend that passing my eyes over this garbage holds any meaning. Why didn't we read this book? It's all the same thing. It's the same thing. I know. We got to pick something. Hold on a minute. Why did I skip this chapter? It's all the same thing. It's the same thing. I know. We got to pick something.

Hold on a minute. Okay. Why did I skip this chapter? It's A. No, we have more choices. It's A, though. B. Because I read this at work with 30 minutes to spare, and although I read very quickly

when I read David Icke, I feel lobotomized. C. Me too. Look, Cecil, I know you're going to want to say it's because I'm lazy, and I normally beat you to the punch on this one, but really, this is 35 pages of pure, unadulterated nonsense. This is the intellectual equivalent to waterboarding, and while I will happily torture myself,

I don't know that I can sustain that level of masochism for so long without tapping out. Oh, God. D, all of the above. It's all of the above. It's all of the above, buddy. so long without tapping out. Oh, God. D, all of the above.

It's all of the above. It's all of the above, buddy. This chapter, there's a list of prominent Freemasons. Oh, there certainly is. And why they're famous. Which is the real Freemason? Okay. A, Sir Christopher Anthony Hogg.

Worked as a pig farmer in the Wartschester area of southern England. Smells of delicious bacon. is known to be enthusiastic. His actions and his name are the origin of the phrase whole hog. Nice. I love it. C, Sir John Chippendale, half squirrel, half stripper. Which makes him an excellent pole dancer and an expert at hiding his nuts. C, Sir George Cadbury invented chocolate eggs.

When he successfully fed a rabbit some monatomic gold and mated it with a chicken. D. All the above, but some facts have been changed to make them more interesting. D. Delightful. This is the most off-center chapter quiz we've done. some facts have been changed to make them more interesting. D, delightful. This is the most off-center chapter quiz we've done. David Ark. David Ark?

I think that's how you're saying it like a Brit. David Ark. David Ike clearly has a huge heart on for the queen, even though she owns all the swans. She does own all the swans. Why? A, because she's rich, and that makes him sad, thinking about what a great sugar mollo she could be to him.

I thought you were going to ask why she owned all the swans. Okay. All right. All right. B, because he's into wrinkles. The more flaps and folds, the better. Me too. C, because she's powerful,

and he's totally into that femdom thing. That's fair. D, because she's related to the Freemasons and he needs his chimney tuck pointed. If you know what I mean. None of those are an answer. I don't even care. I don't care. Tom.

Yeah. The queen is rich as fuck. How rich is she in other people's wealth? Okay. A, 196.7 Kardashians. 0.119 Bill Gateses. Nice. C, 3.44 Oprahs. This is amazing.

D, all the people in the world that live on less than a dollar a day, if you gave each of them $3.70. Or E, all of the above. E, all of the above. I love three dollars and seventy cents or e all the above i love it i love it it's great yeah see so who was knighted by the queen who fucking cares a henry kissinger satanist ritual child killer and mass murderer a b gerald ford rapist and child abuser b c george pedophile, ritual child killer and Satanist. Or D.

Andy Wilson, purveyor of fine Filipino boys. It's Andy Wilson. It's Andy Wilson. It's Andy Wilson. It's Andy Wilson. Sir Andy Wilson.

Thank you very much. Ike mentions the Honorary Knight's Grand Cross of the Order of Bath. I'm sure she did did why is this order important oh i don't have any idea during the conflict between northern ireland and the republic of ireland the founder of this order was very influential his name was irish spring and he

and he created the bath bomb i love it that's so good b B, it has always been a brotherhood order, named after the famous Elizabeth Bathory, who tortured and murdered 650 people and bathed in their blood to stay young. C, Masonic knights were given blood baths, and it was the resurrection symbol of the alchemy. D, I don't fucking care anymore. D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D.

It's actually C. It's D. And D. This chapter was a slog, buddy. It was really horrible. It really was just a list of memes. Oh, my God. But again, all he's doing is trying to establish the provenance of the queen as if she's this evil person.

And it's not just her. It's the Windsor bloodline. It's all the people related to the Queen. It's like, well, yeah, they're all related to each other. They're nobility. That's how nobility works. Fuck their sister, that's how it works. Nobody's surprised that they're all related.

It'd be like if you were like, well, I bet I've got a big expose so that Tom's son is related to Tom. Like, well, yeah, he's my son. I don't know. Well, the paperwork says he is. The paperwork says he is. He calls me dad. Next week, 19.A.

B. A. Point one. Yay. Point five. I don't know. 19.0. Who cares?

This book is terrible. It's so terrible. Not me. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content,

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to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. Sister, it comes from The Independent. New York man jailed for 30 years over X-ray weapon designed to harm Muslims. Was it so he can look underneath the hijab? Was that what it was? You know, I don't know. I don't know, but I admire it.

Because, you know, this reminded me when you're a kid, and you mail off, you know, for those X-ray glasses. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you wait six weeks, you know, like, I'm on a season, I'm boobies. And then they come, and they're just fucking shitty sunglasses or whatever. And like, man, and he's living the dream. He's living.

That's what he's actually trying to irradiate Muslims in their sleep. So maybe he's living a totally different dream. It's more like a Muslim's nightmare. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like it'd be like living the dream if you want to jerk off to skeletons, you know, like the first thing I thought when I saw the ultimate boner. Sorry. The first thing I does a good one. I appreciate a good good pun. I know I had to go. I had it.

First thing I thought when I saw that this guy was trying to create an x-ray to design to harm Muslims, I was like, thanks, Sam Harris. Thanks, man. Thanks for it, buddy. It's your fault. It's your fault. We all hate Muslims. Sam Harris is specific and personal.

That's the reason. Yeah, that's the reason. I can't wait until the regressive leftists build like an Archimedes death ray to melt Milo's face. You know, what a bizarre goofball ass fucking thing to do. He, he built an x-ray weapon and the idea was that he was going to shoot Muslims with it while they were sleeping. And then they would get enough x-rays to harm irradiated. Right.

And then they would get, you know, cause x-rays do. I mean, they had to pull those x-ray. I mean, you're not supposed to get a lot of x-rays. They're not like,

yeah, get one every day. No, zero out of 10 doctors recommend one x-ray, casual x-ray those x-ray i mean you're not supposed to get a lot of x-rays they're not like yeah get one every day no zero out of ten doctors recommend one x-ray casual x-ray x-ray a day keeps the cancer at bay no i don't you know they used to have x-rays like a fluoroscopy for your biscuits for your shoes to see if your shoes fit yeah and you just go and play with it and like wiggle your toes around and watch your fucking bones move in here yeah that's and that was before they knew before they understood now the the nurse looks like she's something out of judge dread when she's gonna she's got a fucking yeah she looks like yeah she looks like fucking right darth vader she's got a fucking a bulletproof vest on

and i like that i like that uh uh that you know the lead apron thing i find it comforting it's like oh it's cold in here like i'm gonna snuggle into that thing. It's nice and heavy. But what an inefficient, bizarre weapon for this guy to build. It's like, I'm going to shoot him. And how does he know if it works? How long does it take? Do they get radiation sickness? I don't know. I don't know how x-rays affect your body.

I don't know how they do that. But I know it can fuck you up. What a bizarre. And is there a narrow enough x-ray beam? How close? How far can you x-ray sniper somebody? There's so many questions I have over his x-ray weapon. It's funny because, you know, it's not anything I've ever heard of the government using. Yeah, probably for a good reason.

Because it seems like a weird, ineffective weapon. Because why would you use something like this when you could, I don't know, buy a bullet? That's the thing. You could just get a gun. He's a New York man. He's in America. You could get a gun literally anywhere. They come in a Happy Meal at this point.

You get a gun, you have to try not to get a gun. No, no, no, I want the semi-auto. I want the semi-auto. It's for a boy. I have three or four of those revolvers. I don't want any more of those. I already got that one last week. You have to try not to have a gun. I don't want the semi-auto. It's for a boy. I have three or four of those revolvers. I don't want any more of those. I already got that one last week. You have to try not to have a gun. I don't want the pink gun.

I want the blue gun. It's like a Hot Wheels gun. It just shoots like a fucking supersonic speed. At this point, you're buying a bunch of them just so you have extra clips. You don't even want the gun. You're throwing the gun away so you can have the extra clips. I don't know. I just broke that other one. Give it to the homeless guy.

Cheap China made. Here, eat this burger and have this gun. Gun. I don't want either. The homeless guy's like, I got a bunch of guns. Jesus. I don't want it. It's like the fucking Secret Life of Pets movie gun.

It's in the shape of a fuzzy puppy. I don't know what you're talking about. It sounds amazing. puppy. I don't know what you're talking about. It sounds amazing. The point is that we've got to rewrite the federal government. Now this is not going to happen overnight.

It took 130 years to bring us to where we are today. It could probably take 50 years to turn it around. But if we stand on the Constitution, then everything else comes together. This is from Right Wing Watch. Tom DeLay, God has given the religious right a clean slate to reshape America via Trump.

I won't read that first word. The thing is, though, President Trump is like... I will not read that. He really does resemble unmolded plates. Especially that waddle underneath his neck. He really does have a good turkey juggler there. He's got a little. Yeah.

You want to walk up to him and be like. You wonder like. And probably if you squeeze it hard enough, gold coins come out. I feel like if you squeeze it hard enough, it'll pop like a zit. And gold coins will come out. It's like you stomp on a Koopa Troopa's head and coins come out of there.

He kind of looks like Bowser. He does. He kind of has a Bowser thing. I would like to see his face photoshopped onto Bowser. I have a feeling that at some point during his presidency, he will take someone on a drawbridge and throw them into a fiery lake. I have a feeling it's not going to... We're not that far off.

The White House has just random spikes and the fireballs that are just rotating in a line. And animated fungus that bite you. It's just like, oh, I've got to do the White House tour. It's amazing.

This is Tom DeLay, who I always think sounds drunk. He's going to talk here. He's gin-blossomed. He probably is drunk. Look at his face. This has a music behind it because it's supposed to be inspirational, so don't vomit. All right. So now that Trump is elected, I'm very excited about it because I see now what God is doing.

First of all, he stopped the left in its tracks. He stopped Hillary Clinton and put a man in place. That's the point, right? And put a man in place. Well, thankfully we don't have a fucking vagina in chief. Am I right,

guys? Vaginas are scary. Hail the penis. Fucking idiot. It's true, though. I mean, that's what he's saying. That's exactly what he's saying. And, again, I don't know how God helped you. Because either God changed people's minds,

didn't give them free will, or God changed the votes. Those are the only two options. He had to somehow tamper with this election. Either he tampered with our free will. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There's a third option. Okay, what's the third option?

The third option is God is Russia. And he influenced the election by creating fake news. In Soviet Russia, you still worship God. That was a strong leader, which the country was begging for. And it didn't matter what his policies were. No, it doesn't matter what his policies were as long as he's got a dick.

Am I right, guys? Everyone wants to hire something with a dick. I will say, I think there's a lot of people out there who didn't care what his policies were. I think there's a lot of those people exist. I'm not saying all of them do. I'm not saying everybody who voted for Trump doesn't think that. But I do think that there was a lot of people who didn't care what his policies were. How do you say I don't care what the presidential fucking candidate's policies are?

That's what you're electing him to do is to enact his policies. People wanted a huge change in the direction of the federal government. So, now that I see, I think I see what God's intentions were. I like that even he's trying to sell it. He's like, now I see.

I don't know, man. I think I got it. He doesn't even have it either. He's just trying to make it up so that he feels good about the win. And I think a lot of people are doing that, right? They either voted against Hillary or they voted for Trump because it's free speech or something. And so they're mad about something. They're like, oh, you cucks made fun of me, so I'm going to get real mad and vote for somebody else. Let me translate that into women won't sleep with me.

Boo hoo. Right? You fucking pussies. You right you fucking pussies you fucking half-man pussies that fucking nonsense yeah that fucking nonsense that's nothing more than a bunch of fucking sexually frustrated dipshits that's all that shit are you talking about the people who got mad that somebody called them names right i i always it blows me away because this is the same group that fucking called everybody cucks. Right.

I know. I'm like, you called everybody cucks for fucking six months. Right. And then you're like, you guys made me so mad when you called me names and then I went somewhere else and voted. I wasn't appreciated. Is that here's a man that basically is a monster. A clean slate.

He's just like, he's an idiot. He can't even say it. He can't even say clean slate. He's like, he's a clean slate. He can't even say it. He can't even say clean slate. He's like, he's a clean slate. He's choking down his own vomit when he says this. What he is saying is he has no ideas.

He's basically just a, he's tabula rasa. We can do whatever we want with it. We get to control this puppet. This is our puppet. We hired a meat puppet. Dance, motherfucker. And you're going to we want with them. Right. We get to control this puppet. This is our puppet. Yeah. That's what he's saying. We hired a meat puppet.

Yeah. Dance, motherfucker. Yeah, exactly. And they're going to fill him with cum. They're going to fill up, you know, they're going to put him in his French maid outfit. He's already jobbly like that. I am senior Trump. Room service. And we being Christian constitutional constitutionalist uh conservatives yep yeah

that's exactly it right and then look it's a picture of pence with his thumb up like i own this bitch i am gonna oh he's like i am gonna fucking tie this fucker up blindfold him and fuck him in the mouth that's what i'm gonna do it's it's a scary it's a scary situation with that man being in charge genuinely scary yeah because because pence is a pence is a yeah uh and we're not talking about trump here because trump's a cuck right so trump trump's on the side watching someone else run his country you know what i mean he's on he's on the side you know jerking off to watching somebody else do all the work because Pence is running the show. Pence is going to own this.

Pence is running the show. And Pence has tons of power, and he's anti-LGBT. I don't care what Trump is. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Pence certainly is. Yeah. Yeah, Pence is a crazy, hard-right ideologue.

Yeah. And there's no other way to put it. Right. Yeah. Have an opportunity to fill in that slate. And he's doing it on his own. I mean, look at the people he's putting around him. He's just pointing at her boobs.

He's pointing at this chick's tits. There's a picture. Now, this is Tom DeLay's own video we're watching. This is amazing. He's making this face like. This is at 58 seconds. He's straight pointing right at her. He's pointing at his.

I think she's one of his press secretaries or something like that. Is that Kellyanne Conway? Yeah, yeah. She's like one of his. She's like the chief marketing strategist ninja. She's the Trump whisperer. Yeah, she's the Trump whisperer. And he's pointing.

That's what she's called. Yeah, I know. She's pointing right at her tits. And he's making a face like, do you see these titties? Titties are the titties. He really is pointing. There's nothing else she's called. Yeah, I know. She's pointing right at her tits, and he's making a face like, do you see these titties? He really is pointing. There's nothing else he's doing. And also, the way the picture is taken, she looks like she's got fucking double Js. I mean, look at that.

Doesn't it look like she's got huge hooters? I don't think so, but I think that the way this picture is taken and the way it's set up, it looks like she's probably like, I don't know, she's leaning into it or something. There's an optical illusion going on. She looks like she's probably like, I don't know, she's leaning into it or something. There's an optical illusion going on. She looks like when they were in Weird Science and they made the titties all big. She looks like that big.

Very impressive. Mike Pence, Kellyanne Conway, Jeff Sessions, and others. It's really exciting to see him doing that because there again, we're going to have,

we being strong Christian conservatives are going to have an opportunity to really turn this country around in a bold way. Trump supporters, you're allied with the Christian conservatives. Yeah. A hundred percent. There's no way around that. You're allied with the Christian conservatives. So, you know, every time we, every time we hear from Trump supporters that get, that get mad at us us for for pointing this shit out, I'm not that's that's just the truth, man. You're just allied with them. You're allied with your bedfellows.

This is you. You chose a Christian conservative, a social conservative, anti LGBT, anti progressive platform to ally yourself with. That's who these people are. There's no getting around it. And for the United States of America to put the power of the federal government and all of its money and resources behind this transgender movement, it is just nothing short of insanity. Cecil, this is Right Wing Watch. This is Jesse Lee Peterson.

Evil LGBT rights are destroying America. I want to go back, first of all, just to God having created them, man and woman, because we seem to lose track of that. That's the honest truth given to us in the Bible, and so I think that's a good starting point for all of this. It is the honest truth. The honest truth given to us in the Bible. What did we lose track of?

to us in the Bible. What did we lose track of? I think we lost track of the fact that some people, if they're guys, like the dick, and some women like the puss. That it's, wait a minute. So we're going back to God created man and woman. I don't think a lot of us argue about, I mean, I don't think God did it, but clearly there's men and women. Then there's also intersex people.

I like how they just always conveniently forget that. They're just like, makes us feel weird in our pants. Sometimes I'm in the middle of something, I got like pasta on the stove, and I forget. I'm like, oh, we'll just put them both in there. We'll figure it out later.

We got nine months, Gabriel. We got nine months. Did y'all drop a penis in that vagina? What's going on over there? A penis in that vagina? Penis next to the vagina. I absolutely agree, and I have to tell you, if we don't return to that,

we're going to lose total sight of man and woman because the children of the lie, they are pushing for no gender. They don't want you to identify as a man or as a woman. Who doesn't? Who doesn't want me to identify as a man? Here, watch. I identify as a man. Toad's a man.

Who's stopping me? No one if they're smart no one for long i mean really like who's stopping me from identifying as a man i don't know no one has ever tried no i've never walked into a room or been to a place where anybody's been like oh you clearly yes sir look man i don't know what they would say pardon me other ken right how would that work how would that Like, I walk into a place and it's like, I'm doing a thing. I can't even imagine where the context

would be where this imagined transaction would take place, wherein somebody is trying to stop me from identifying as a man. It's a bizarre, stupid fucking thing to say. Sounds kind of like fear-mongering. But I wouldn't want to pin that on Jesse Lee. No, not on Mr. Peterson.

And we should not be surprised because, as you know, Rob, our battle is a spiritual battle. It's a warfare between good and evil. I'm going to ask this question legitimately. Do you think that their binary worldview is part of what makes it impossible for them to understand gender fluidity or sexual fluidity continuums because their their whole worldview is based on a right wrong good evil yes no right there's no grace right yeah yeah everything is you know it's god and satan it's it's it's it's this really dichotomous what's that unless you're alex jones and there's grace Then there's lots of grace. They're in Area 51. But you know what I'm saying? Like their whole structure of their thinking process doesn't allow for a continuum or a gradation of categorizations.

Instead, everything lives in this bucket or that bucket. And then they're confronted with something that is more fluid and less bucketable like gender or sexuality. And they fucking lose their full minds or race. And they lose their fucking full minds because they can't stick it in the fucking bucket. They're just like, get in the fucking bucket. They won't get in the bucket. They're like, fucking get in the goddamn bucket. And they can't make it happen.

They fucking lose their shit. It puts the lotion in the basket. Or else it gets the hose again. Or else it gets the Satan again. Do you fuck me? Nope, I fuck me. Absolutely, absolutely. Everything we do is spiritual.

And so we need to realize that once you give evil power by letting it have its way, it will destroy you. It will destroy you personally. It will destroy your family. It will destroy your community and your country. And that's what it's been doing, especially in the last eight years. It just has been out of control to a point that they are pushing men and women who are confused about their identities to go into whatever bathroom of choice. That's not even common sense. You know that has to be evil. It's not common sense.

You know it has to be evil. Men and women are confused about their gender. That's why they pee somewhere. I feel like I summarized that for you. Someone with woman parts dropped a deuce in the mail, John. Okay. Hail Satan. Hail Satan.

I mean, like, I don't even know how to. It's not even a thing. And I go back to their stalls. There's always stalls for the people who are who don't have to tell you what they're doing dude i i i took a shit at my fucking trainer's house my trainer tiffany he has a house it's her house she's the only one who lives in that house i went to her house today i took a shit in her bathroom it didn't i didn't fucking walk out of there with a vagina like it's not how this works i I'm still a guy.

Like, we don't, like, in all the rest of our lives, we recognize that a bathroom is just a place where you take a shit. That's all that it is. Like, people come over to my house. I only have one bathroom. Right. Yeah. I don't make my wife go down the street to use the bathroom unless she's having her period.

That's the only time to make her go somewhere else. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This is the story of some right-wing watch.

This is Alex Jones. Kanye West. Yeezy, yeezy, yeezy, yeezy. Kanye West. I'm going to let you finish. I'm going to let you finish. But fucking, what the fuck is his name? My wife. What was that woman's name?

Taylor Swift. Yeah, I was going to say the one with the long legs. Taylor Swift, I'm going to let you finish, but Taylor Swift is the most Illuminati-est of them all. Alex Jones is a Swifty. Alex Jones, Kanye West met with Trump to escape the Illuminati. Okay, here we go. They are dividing us, and they're hyping up the race war, and here's the bottom line.

I know for a fact Kanye West has been trying to break away from the Kardashians for a while. He knows about the Illuminati. I love that. Then he could say that with a straight face. Look right into the camera and be like, he knows about the Illuminati. He's trying to get away from the Kardashian. What is there? Like a Kardashian Assassin's

Creed? They're going to do fucking parkour chasing him around. It'd just be it and somebody would jump out of the crack of her ass. She could hide three assassins in that thing. We list more assassins this way.

They just don't want to leave. Once they're in it, it's like, uh-uh, no, I'm good. This is my home now. He went to some of the spirit cooking events that were public. As opposed to the private spirit cooking events, which are black tie only. So like the spirit cooking thing. Why does it got to be a black tie? It's Kanye.

It's just a tie. Can't even tell if he's wearing it. Oh, God. Can't even tell if he's wearing it. Oh, God. The spirit cooking thing is like, it's like, what Alex Jones thinks it is, is a satanic ritual that involves, like, cooking with fucking semen and blood and all kinds of shit.

What spirit cooking really is, is nothing at all, it turns out. Because we just did a little reading, and it's basically a bastardization off of just, like, a throwaway phrase where somebody's like, come to my house for a spirit dinner yeah the end we're gonna have soup it's like that's it traditional soups like that's it like it's my traditional soups always start with a quarter couple seamen that's the base and then you work on that taco bell actually i used to call it mother sauce. It's father sauce.

Father sauce. It's one of the mother sauces. They call it Padre. You got to spit it out. Like half of your guts won't swallow it. You got to swish it in your mouth and then spit it back in the bowl. Half of them won't swallow. You have an empty champagne glass on the table. One person puts it in their mouth, and then they have to share it with their friend.

Share it with their neighbor. And everybody spits it, and then somebody across the room, they get covered in it. If you're interested in any of that, you can visit our sponsor, adamandyou.com. The only one who swallows it is someone who knows this chef real well. Because she doesn't want to be rude. And the word is Kanye West is having a freak out. He was forcibly grabbed and kept in a mental institution for almost two weeks when he calmly said he's supporting Trump now and would have voted for him if he voted.

He's supporting Trump now and would have voted for him if he voted. I didn't even catch that at first. He's fucking rubbing fucking shit on himself in the fucking national attention. And he's like, if I only would have brought my voter ID card with me. Isn't that fucking amazing? And the people should stop bashing Trump supporters and we should all come together. He didn't fight

anybody. Nothing happened. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did I just see that? Did I just see that? What we just saw was Kanye and the Donald exchanged a one of those hands. It's not like a regular handshake.

It's like a high handshake where your thumbs grab. They're sort of like a grabby. What do you call it? I don't even know. Like a bro shake or something? I was going to say a bro shake, but I don't know that that's accurate. It seemed a little too white for that, actually. Did they chest bump after?

I think he hugged him. It was like a weird... They did the bro hug. Let's do a slow motion replay. They did the bro handshaky hug thing. I think he does bump chest with them. Look at that. Boom.

Yeah, it's more shoulder. And his managers grabbed him and threw him with the police into the back of a paddy wagon to a mental institution, but they were unable to break him while he was in there for 13 days. And he came out and he said, I'm divorcing Kim Kardashian and I'm done. And this whole thing's the Illuminati.

Look at how smug he looks right there. I love like, he's just like dropping the mic. Thank you very much. Oh, you know what? Here's my evidence. A man came out of a mental institution and said it's all Illuminati. A man came out of a mental institution and said some crazy shit. Hey.

I can't give you any more proof. I don't even know where to look. What else can I do to convince you guys? Fucking, oh shit, Yee convince you guys? Oh shit. Yeezy said something. Oh my God. Holy fuck. If Yeezy isn't convincing,

I don't know what we're going to do. Oh God. Oh God. He came out of the mental hospital and said it's all the Illuminati. And he's just like, see, I told you so. And you thought I was crazy. Look at me. You thought I was crazy.

But that man in the mental hospital agrees with me. Excuse me while I throw this sink through a wall. So we want to thank, of course we want to thank our patrons. We just hit a goal. We're going to be heading to a couple of places this year, Tom, to go visit with fans and do some stuff. We have some plans now. We just hit a goal on Patreon. We have another goal that's going to be going up. We don't know if it's up yet.

It might be up in the next week. That's going to be working on getting video to the patrons. That's horrifying. I feel like our Patreon dollars will shrink as soon as they see us. And not just that, though. I think we're going to try to do maybe something video often for the audience at large as well. But I think we're going to maybe try to do maybe something video uh often for the for the audience at large as well but i think we're going to maybe try to do some other video stuff with the patrons sort of a live video um

uh but we're we're going to plan a goal for that as well so uh we want to thank everybody who's donated it's been a great groundswell of support we hope you enjoyed the jesse lee peterson show that was a brand new patron only show that came out It was a little over an hour worth of Jesse Lee Peterson. So we hope you enjoyed that. We're going to be planning our next patron-only show that should probably be releasing within the next month or two. And we're hoping that that would be a good time too. We want to thank our patrons, though, of course.

We want to thank Travis. The Scaving Glory Hole Shoeshine Show. Of course. Wonderful. Love it. CineQ. Coach Cameron, who has been with the show for years. Thank you, Coach Cameron. Okay. What the fuck?

What the fuck? Skip-a-drong. Skiff-a-dring. Yeah. That's a standard Swedish name. That's like Bill in Swedish. I messed it up. I don't even know.

Jeff. Ian. Morgan. Alan. James. Deez. Probably Deez Nuts. I messed it up. I don't even know. Jeff, Ian, Morgan, Alan, James, Deez, probably Deez Nuts. I'm guessing. Ronald Reagan. Oh, I love that guy. Christopher, John, Eric,

Lucha, Jonathan, Adrian, and Robert. Thank you all so very much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate it. We got a couple of PayPals, Tom. A couple of nice sizable PayPals from some very generous people. Yeah. So we got a PayPal from Dawn. Dawn, thank you very much. We also received PayPal donations from Christopher. Christopher, that's wonderful. And thank you so much also from William. Remember,

you can go to DissonancePod.com and click on Donate to donate to the show through PayPal. So we want to talk about some email that we received this week. We got an email from Sean, and Sean sent us an image. It is a Elf on the Shelf image. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's wonderful.

You can check it out. It's episode 334. We got it from a couple of different people. We got a clip from Elvis. A very short clip. And he says a bumper for your holiday cheer. Fall

on your knees bitch. Oh god. Don't call me bitch. That's so crude. I love it. Thank you so much, Elvis. That's why we can't have nice things. We got a message from Rodney,

and Rodney likes to anagram his Christmas message banners, and my favorite anagram that he sent us is, Sir Smarmy Wretch, Mr. Racist Rodney. That's so great. It's so weird, and I love it. That's so good. Thanksist Rodney. That's so great. It's so weird and I love it. That's so good. Thanks, Rodney. Well, Tom, this is all you. Nate sent us a message

and it is a sort of, he's raiding Indiana. Yeah, he says, hey guys, I've been meaning to email you this story for several months and I'm just now getting around to it. I live in Pennsylvania. One of my good friends just got a job in Cheyenne, Wyoming. So I'm thinking, sweet, road trip. But as soon as we head west and enter the second state of our trip, we decide it's a nice day and roll down the windows.

Shortly thereafter, an atrocious smell seeps into the car. We roll the windows back up. This happens again an hour later with the same effect. And then again a third time. And all I could think was, wow, the cognitive dissonance guys are actually right about something. The entire state of Indiana smells like shit. Sure does. That's not shit.

That's meth and bad teeth. That's what it is. It is. It's broken dreams. It's a dumpster fire. It's a fucking, it's a paper mill. It's the worst smells all wrapped into one. Indiana really does smell bad.

Yeah. It does not even fucking around. Indiana stinks. Yeah. It stinks like the people trying to leave it. We got a mashup clip from Chris, and Chris sent this in. This is great. It's a mix of a Firefly reference and a clip from last week.

Resistance to tight. I like this song. It's Alex Jones. You can run. I think about all the children Hillary Clinton has personally murdered and chopped up and raped. They'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing.

And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order. Oh, God, I love that show so much. That was such an excellent show. Every episode was terrific. Every episode. Every episode is memorable. It was so good.

It was such a great show. I love how it didn't end properly. Yeah. That was great. Well, they kind of, the movie kind of ended. Better than Deadwood. Wash definitely ended. Too soon.

I got a message from Ross and Ross sent this in. He said, I heard your coverage of the recent news that now women will be required to have funerals for their fetal tissue. And it says you raised good points about this issue, one of which was cost. With that in mind, I propose that we help with this in a small way by buying environmentally friendly biodegradable cardboard coffins for these women. And the image that he sent is a box of jelly babies.

One of them is red, too. We got a message from Chelsea, and Chelsea said that they had to watch The Passion of the Christ at age 10. Dude, that's monstrous. And I'm thinking of my boy who just turned 10 yesterday. And I'm thinking about showing him the movie The Passion of the Christ.

He'd flip his shit. He would lose his full fucking mind. That's traumatizing. It was a difficult movie to watch as an adult. It's torture. Yeah, it's just a torture scene. So it's a difficult movie to watch if you're sensitive to torture. Sure. I mean, I'm not sensitive to torture.

I don't care. I don't care about human beings. You're just a monster. I'm just a monster. But if you had empathy. If I did have empathy. Talk to Elon. I will.

I'll mention it to him. Maybe he'll give you some. His cup overrunneth with empathy. We got a message. This is amazing. We we're gonna post this on this week's show notes i don't know who these people are i'm glad that they listen to the show they sent us this video it's wonderful and i laughed out loud we're gonna post it on this week's show notes it's a war on christmas video that's animated it's so funny no shit. We laughed out loud four or five times. It's super funny.

Well done. Hilarious. This is Peter who sent it in. Peter and Carl were the ones who put it together. Peter and Carl, you guys did a great job on this. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. So we hope everybody had a merry Christmas. I don't.

I hope you all had a shitty Christmas. So this show is coming out the day after Christmas. This is our bookend. This is the last show of 2016. We will be also releasing a Toaster Shakens on the 4th of January. That's going to be all of our best stuff from the last year. We're sort of compiling it right now. And that should release on the 4th. So there should

be two good shows coming up. And then a year's worth of shit again. And we look forward to seeing people in January here in Chicago. Oh, that's going to be great for the live game. I'm looking forward to it. So until then, until next time, we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double

bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms Atlantis, dolphins, truthers

Birthers, witches, wizards Vaccine nuts Shaman healers, evangelists Conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata Nonsense Expose your signs Thrust your hands Bloody, evidential

Conclusive Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy Council and viewers like you. you