Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 338: Your Son Would Have Been a …. Veterinarian

Episode Date: January 16, 2017

Thanks to everyone who came to the show this weekend. We had a blast. This episode, Tom, and Cecil discuss how Scientology is being used as drug prevention in London schools. Hillbilly God is back to��review some sex devotional slides from BYU.  Tom and Cecil end the show with another David Icke quiz. Stories covered in episode:  Youtube:

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. This is Desert Dade in San Antonio. I was just listening to episode 330, 6 or 7, depending on what time you listen to that. And you're talking about 2016 being a dumpster fire, and everybody that's listening to is talking about how fucked up 16 was and they can't wait for 17. And it's like, you know, the worst thing in my mind, one of the worst things that happened in America was that Trump got elected president. But fuck, guys, in 2017, Trump is going to fucking be president. And that horrible nightmare train wreck of a cabinet he's appointing is going to be running the fucking country. So I don't see why everybody's all excited about 2017.

I think it's going to be a dumpster fire with extra hobos in it. Anyway, love you guys. You fucking crack me up. Glory hole motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way.

We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 338 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, this is our dungeon episode because it is damn near as dark as a fucking dungeon in here because we're down to half the lighting

we should have in our studio. Yeah. You know, it sucks. Like, I don't know what the fuck happened. Like, I came in today and the worst part is that I opened the fridge to get a beer out and I just get this smell

and I was like, okay, well, beer can stay right there. And you were like, wait, Tom's not here yet. beer can stay right there. Wait, Tom's not here yet. Right there. Yeah. You know, here's the problem. I had always thought if I'm going to have a dungeon, it's going to be a little different than this and you're not going to be here.

I know. Right. I would never want to be there. Number one. Right. Number two. This is not the dungeon. These are not the droids I'm looking for.

The only guys that are invited are the FBI when they're raiding it. That's it. That's all you're expecting. Although maybe it's a new pizza game. We've had a lot of pizza. I'm just saying. No, you've got to cut a hole in the box. You cut a hole in the box, you put your dick in the box.

And this is actually our show we're recording right before we go live. We go live tomorrow with the Gam Guys. We're going to be making fun of a truly bland and banal, awful movie about nothing. It should be fun. We're really looking forward to hanging out with them. And then we'll be releasing Monday. And then hopefully when they release their GAM live to patrons we will also beg them to let us release

it to our patrons as well so we will also have a recording I hope if not I'm just going to steal it from them I'm their patron so I'm just going to steal it I'm just going to fucking download it and then post it on ours so whether they give us permission or not

we're pretty much taking it. So, uh, so we're hoping that the patrons who can't make it will enjoy, uh, the, the game, the live game.

I'll tell you what, I know we're giving it to the patrons because I didn't suffer through that movie. No shit. Twice. Yeah. Twice. That's the most work in preparation for anything I've ever done.

It's like twice as much work as you put in your marriage. That's true. I didn't spend four hours trying to save that. I'll tell you what. The IRS has agreed to send out letters to the governments of every nation. These letters will state that they have done a thorough review of all Scientology activities from top to bottom, and having found nothing wrong, fully recognize us as a bona fide and qualified tax-exempt organization to the full extent of the law. So this first story comes from thestandard.co.uk.

Dude, don't zoom in on Tom Cruise. Look at his face, actually. He looks kind of bloated. He looks kind of Asian. I don't zoom in on Tom Cruise. Look at his face, actually. He looks kind of bloated. He looks kind of Asian. I don't know why. His hair is delightfully tussled like a little boy, like a toddler. He seriously looks like a Japanimation version of himself. He looks kind of crazy in this picture.

Japanimation version of himself. He's getting ready to suck a tentacle. I feel like those are the same word. Japanimation, Japanimation, the same. Nobody's watching Japanimation unless there's a tentacle in someone's fucking hoo-ha. That's it. What else would you watch that big-eyed shit for? That's ridiculous.

I mean, come on. I'm not a fucking Sailor Moon fan. I am. I don't even know what that means. I don't even know what that is. Revealed. How thousands of London children are exposed to Scientology group in schools. And I thought this was particularly interesting.

I read this article. They talk about Narconon. And I'd always thought Narconon was like the narcotics version of Alcoholics Anonymous. Is that what it is? Alcoholics Anonymous or Alcohol Anonymous? I think it's Alcoholics Anonymous. It's like talking about the people. So Alcoholics Anonymous.

It's not like you walk in and they're just like, here's a bag. You have to guess what it is. It's Alcohol Anonymous. That's a different party. I've gone to that, right? It's like there's just a bunch of 40s wrapped up and you're just like, I don't know. Oh, fuck. I got Mickey's again.

I'm still drinking it. But Narconon is evidently a Scientology front. And I had no idea that it was a scientology front and evidently they're fucking promoting narconon in schools and i read that i was like because at first i was a little outraged like that's a front for scientology and i'm like wait a minute where the fuck is narconon in the schools anyway can you imagine if alcohol like aa shows up to your grade school is like, all right, now who wants to stand in front of us and say, I'm 11 years old and I'm an alcoholic. Really? Really?

What's the need for this? Obviously, it's drug prevention. It's drug use prevention. And also psychiatry prevention and science prevention. Eventually, medicine prevention. Right. And then freedom prevention.

Enjoy our boat right enjoy our shitty fucking boat you can be a wash it wash the fucking boat you can be a fucking slave on our fucking weird boat so you could be at our fucking religion navy or whatever i want to read part of this article yeah it says part of its doctrine is the belief that humans are haunted by the spirits of aliens brought to earth in spaceships and massacred with hydrogen bombs by a galactic warlord named xenu 75 million years ago seems plausible to me and they're using this to tell us what do you drugs. What do you do? Like, once upon a time, there was a galactic warlord named Xenu. He wants you to stay off drugs.

Like, where does it go from there? Is he running the mill? He's like, hello, my name's Xenu. I've been addicted to the Thetans for 10 years. I'm 60 days free of my volcano. You know, there is nothing normal about being a sodomite. There is no life that will come out of a rectum. You cannot produce life. It's only death. Every time, there's nothing in a rectum except waste, refuse, and death. This story is from Right Wing Watch.

This is David Benham. Marriage equality is a mask for Satan. All right. Let's play it. This is audio from one of the shows here. He's on a show called Faith and Freedom, a radio program, and this is David Benham. This is

David speaking, Matt, and we've deconstructed gender. It's an ultimate attack on the Creator. Deconstructed gender. It's an ultimate attack on the creator. Deconstructed gender? Yeah, man. I mean, he's getting derided on us, like, real fast. Like, here we go. You're like at a gender fusion restaurant.

Yeah, we call this one non-binary. We call this the Ari Stillman. It's a new creation. Nobody's sure how it works. But it's completely inoffensive. And we see this pattern in Romans chapter 1, and it literally goes this way. You deny truth, then you have a darkened heart, then you displace God. Displace God?

Man. Hey, y'all, you can't displace me. I got wheels on my house. I love that. You flood my trailer park, I'll just roll right on down. You can't displace me. Like, whatever you try, you try to flood, you try the tornado, doesn't matter. God is not a poor black man in fucking New Orleans, right? Like, he doesn't get displaced by some fucking rainwater.

I got my FEMA trailer. That's my new digs. FEMA. Says it right on the side. Can't read, but they told me that's what it said. Fucking, you darken your heart. You darken your heart. You have no idea how dark I've made this fucking thing.

God no longer matters. His law, the basis of law, which is found in God's word, his standards for righteousness, none of those matter anymore. Those are all the same thing. You just said the same thing. It's like three different ways. None of the same thing matters anymore. None of the same thing.

Not dogs nor canines. None of them. It's the same thing, you stupid fucking twat. You displace God and you become the center of the universe. From there, it goes to degrading passions and then a depraved mind. Okay, now you've got my interest. Look, I'm all for some degrading. All of my passions are degrading to someone.

Not me, but someone. It seems to escalate kind of quickly. I mean, like it sort of drops it in the fifth gear real quick. It's like we've deconstructed. It's like we've thought a little bit about what gender means. Well, now I'm fucking a dog. I don't know. I don't know what to say.

Like we went from fucking, somebody's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I have these questions about whether or not it's continuum. Well, I don't know, man. I'm just out here just sticking a pumpkin up my ass. I don't know. So this is where we find ourselves in a culture that's a depraved mind, where we're celebrating and even forcing others to participate in immorality. What?

Yeah, you're forcing them to hear that gay marriages exist. Is that what he's referring to? I think so. Like, he's making a cake or something? Is that what he's getting worked up about? No, no. What's the very worst that can happen? It's not like they walk in and be like, all right, lube up.

Yeah, right? Coming to get you. It's not like the government's like, hello, suck a dick. Oh, man. Not home? Room service? We hear you in there. It's a dick in the door.

Open the door. I don't want it. I don't want to suck a dick. Just put it through the mail slot. It's like a postal office glory hole. We'll be able to tell if that's your dog, sir. We'll be able to tell. This isn't our first rodeo.

Stop putting peanut butter on the tip. So it's vital for Christians, first and foremost, to get into the Word of God, to spend time in prayer, to seek the face of God. The Lord says... None of that sounds as fun as degrading passions. I'm just saying, so far, I've got a choice, right? If you degrade your passions, and then you seek the face of God, I think Bukkake comes next.

Right, that's just it. I think that's like a natural progression. You just got to make sure you don't aim and get it up the nose, because that's just like fucking... They're fucking snorting that shit out for like two days. They cough a little bit. Look at the camera.

I'll get you later, motherfucker. That's not right. It's like, aw, you. Oh. It was a little watery this time. I'm sorry. You're making the tea for a week. I hydrated right before.

Multiple times in scriptures, especially in the book of Jeremiah and others, these prophetic books, when the nation of Israel had gone corrupt, he would say, seek me that you may find me, that you may have lice. You may have lice? That doesn't even mean anything. Seek? You may have lice? Look at my hair! I don't want lice! That's terrible You gotta rid that shit out or whatever

You gotta fucking use that tiny little comb I shaved the fuck out of my hair When I was a kid and had lice My boy, we got a note on a Tuesday It's like, the school has lice! And on Wednesday we got a note called, your kid has lice! And I was like, we're all shaving our heads. We just nuclear option all the way.

And then everybody throws every piece of clothing that you own and sanitize. It's just a nuclear explosion. That's what happened to me. I had them in grade school, came home, and I was immediately shaved. My mom's like, yep. I was the first monkey shot in the space. Fucking A, man. As soon as she found out, it's like, nope. That was the first monkey shot in the space, man. Fucking A, man. As soon as she found out, it's like, nope.

Shaved it, burnt the hair. Well, I shaved my boy's head. Then I shaved my head. Then my ex-wife shaved her head. Like down about an inch, like half inch. It was just like, well, none of us are going to have lice. Because there's no fire. You get no house here.

Nobody has a house here. Fuck you, lice. Fucking dog is bald. That's what the Lord wants. He wants us to have life. And this whole deconstruction of gender, this whole redefinition of marriage, all of these things is Satan. All of these things are Satan. They are Satan, you fucking illiterate boob.

They is. All of these things is Satan. All these things is Satan. They're all Satan. Satan's just like, how can I be all these things? That doesn't even make sense to me. And I'm evil. That's like fucking, you said it wrong.

I don't know. It's a mask for Satan who's robbing, killing, and destroying these people that desperately want life. Wait a minute. We're getting robbed and killed and destroyed. I thought gay people were just having sex with each other. And the wanting cakes at a wedding and dressing fancy. Right. I don't even know.

Like there's like a dude in a feather boa. Like all of a sudden he gets robbed by Satan. Satan, what does Satan steal? Give me your wallet. Why? I don't, what would you? I mean, yeah, sure, fine. But I'm just going to cancel my credit card.

He steals a little grab. That's what he steals. He's the love of a father trying to find it in the arms of another man, and they'll never find it there. No, you've got to find it in the arms of a bunch of other men, not just the other man. The break. They might not find it in his arms,

but they'll find it in his ass if they go fucking plumbing hard enough. It's like a wishbone. You've got to slide it open, and then you'll find it. God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. This story comes from the Daily Beast. Jeff Sessions said secularists are unfit for government. So this guy is the nominee for attorney general.

These are comments he made to right-wing extremist David Horowitz. He said, ultimately, freedom of speech is about ascertaining the truth. And if you don't believe there's a truth, you don't believe in truth. If you're an utter secularist, then how do you operate this government? How can we form a democracy of the kind I think you and I believe in?

I do believe that we are a nation that without God, there is no truth. And it's all about power, ideology, advancement, agenda, not doing public service. Cecil, I mean, when you read that, like when you read what he said, now granted he said this in 2014, and he also recently kind of doubled down on it in a recent confirmation hearing. This is the guy that's going to be

the attorney general, and he believes that the separation of church and state is a fiction, and he calls it unhistorical. And he basically, in this other quote, is saying, you know, this is that the ultimate path to truth is through God so secularists people who don't believe in God have no place running government. He's wrong about the non-historical because Jefferson did write it. Jefferson actually

wrote that. What did Jefferson have to do with the founding of this? He actually wrote it. It is fucking historical. Super historical. He wrote specifically those words, building a wall between separating the church and state. It just doesn't happen to be in the amendment itself. But when he describes it later, it refers to it. Right.

He's referring specifically. He's saying, here's what I fucking meant when I wrote the other thing. Yeah. That's it so like these guys who are like ah that's not yeah no that's that's pretty much exactly what he fucking meant this this is a you know trump trump terrifies me for so many reasons right but the people that he's appointing um into these positions of power and authority they get like worse and worse as he continues to appoint them just You're just like,

fucking what is happening here? This is an extremist government. I'm sorry, it just is an extremist government. I don't think that that's a... That's not a line to say. Look at who he buddied up with.

He buddied up with the Christian right. You can't deny that the Christian right isn't fucking like wanking themselves like fucking oiled up wanking themselves over this fucking win right yeah they're super excited look at every single christian pundit we we cover on this show they're all ejaculating all over their own face and they don't even they don't want to wipe it off they're so excited oh i know yeah this it. They're walking out in public covered. Exactly. I don't even care.

Proud. He is exactly what they were looking for, and he's a far-right Christian pick, this guy, Sessions. I mean, he just fucking is. I don't care how much you love Trump for all the other shit. Understand that when you got that package, you got somebody who did not give a fuck about the separation of church and state. You got a guy who's going to look clearly his attorney general looks at secular people as being unfit for government. I mean, we have, you know, OK, fine. You know, there was even some conversation that Trump is probably might be i don't know maybe the first atheist president right because all of his protestations to the opposite he does not appear by any reasonable measure to be terribly religious right it's it's all a fucking show

like everything that he does is a show right none of it is genuine or authentic because there's nothing genuine or authentic about the guy you know the all the pile of papers that was on his desk yeah they wouldn't let anybody read you know know why he didn't let anybody read them? Because they were all blank. Some people went up there to take photos of the big piles of paper he did for a big stunt, and they said none of the envelopes, none of the folders. None of those manila envelopes? None of them were labeled.

So the idea that you would just have reams and reams and reams of paper stuffed in these manila envelopes with no even a marking on it. And this guy took a photo of it and it was splayed out a little so you could even see if there was a little bit of writing on it. There wasn't any writing on any of it. I read that article earlier today. And he wouldn't let

journalists get near it. He's like, here's a bunch of papers. I signed a whole bunch of papers. Take a look at these papers. And they're like, like yeah we'd like to take a look at these papers you can't take a look at these papers like view them from afar like he brought them out as theater right to show people like look at how much work i'm putting into this and then they look and they they actually look a little closer and like oh those aren't even real papers they're a prop it's like it's like when you're uh it's like watching a bad movie and you open the briefcase full of money and it's just like a few hundred dollar bills on top of each

stack and then underneath it it's all ones yeah he doesn't even have the ones underneath he doesn't even have paper underneath it he just has a briefcase and like he's like you're like buying drugs and he walks up and he's like yeah i got a briefcase and he opens it and the briefcase is just empty and he's like yeah here's my money it's got a hundred guys got a 100 bill in it and the rest are ious right and the other guy would be like man there's no money there there's money in there no it's fucking it's an empty don't make me show you in front of all these nice people there's money there's so much money you won't believe how much money's in here what are you talking about what is happening what is actually happening right now? Abortions for all.

Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Miniature American flags for others. This story comes from WKMS.org. A general assembly approves anti-abortion bills awaiting the signature of the governor. So this is from Kentucky, which, you know, when I read this story, I considered for a moment whether or not to include it because Kentucky, we just know, just doesn't fucking count. Sure.

Right? It's just a garbage state. There's only like seven fucking people. It doesn't count. But then I thought, I guess they could influence a neighboring state like Tennessee, which counts just a little less. It's like three-fifths of a state. I don't know. Took a minute, but I got there.

You did. Yeah. And I wanted to talk about this. Representative James Tipton, a Republican from Taylorsville, the big town of Taylorsville, Kentucky. Hello, my baby. Hello, my big town of Taylorsville, Kentucky. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. He's got the fucking straw hat.

He does. He says he voted in favor of the bill saying that women shouldn't terminate problematic pregnancies. And this is his justification. So, you know, before I read this, remember that this applies to young women who are raped and impregnated by their fathers, right, which is a thing that happens. God does not make mistakes, Tipton said. There are unborn children that do not have the ability to speak up for their self-defense and their life and liberty. But friends, here in the Kentucky House of Representatives, we have an opportunity to be their voice.

the Kentucky House of Representatives, we have an opportunity to be their voice. So remember that. If you live in Kentucky and your wife has a pregnancy that might kill her, that might end her life, and then the fucking unborn child's life, remember God

doesn't make mistakes. And when you're fucking raped and impregnated, remember, God doesn't make mistakes. God wanted that to happen god's like oh no it's not a whoopsie yeah it's not a whoopsie at all well i meant for that guy to rape you that's what i meant i made him hold you down to rape you impregnate you and then you gotta give birth kentucky really you're a fucking monster representative james tipton. Does the Kentucky House of Representatives come with 14 herbs and spices? I want to mention what this bill

entails, though, because this is the worst. It says women would be prevented from getting abortions during or after the 20th week of pregnancy under one bill. The other would require doctors performing an abortion

to conduct an ultrasound of the woman, verbally describe the fetus before the procedure. Do they have to describe what the fetus is wearing to? What are you wearing? Well, nothing. I'm just a fetus.

You know what they also have to do is they also have one of those, they have one of those, those pull and says, and you pull it, you pull it, and it and it just says it says your son would have been a veterinarian you know you would think if you're if you're if you're a doctor that actually performs abortions you'd be like i gotta describe the feedback it's fucking ugly and small and doesn't matter it's fucking seven cells here's my. It's not a human life yet. Do they have, do they have like,

I wonder, does the law require that they describe like how they describe it? Or could you just be like, it's an insignificant clump of cells? Yeah, I wonder. I wonder if you could just say like, yeah, it's an insignificant. It's an insignificant clump of cells

without a cerebral cortex and it can't feel pain. That's my description. At 20 weeks though, the baby is starting to form. Right. It's starting to be defined. And it's also making the woman pretty large at that point. Visibly, yeah. You're going to show it.

Visibly showing. What woman at 20 weeks is like, I got the stretch marks I needed. You could take it out. Like, there's no woman. I just wanted everyone to know I was pregnant before I aborted. What I wanted was for my belly to deflate afterwards. So I get that wrinkly thing on the front that looks like a deflated balloon after a weekend of being blown up. That's what I was looking for.

Is there any way that you could, you know, and I, and there was no surgeon that was going to give that to me. So I had to get knocked up and then terminate the pregnancy in order to get that look. It's just a casual decision to take this fucking pregnancy exactly five fucking months if you're getting an abortion in 20 weeks something's wrong no kidding it's always something is terribly it's not always but it's most of the time something is terribly wrong even and and even if something terribly wrong as you know maybe you just got away from the person who you wanted to abort this child i I'm going to go with that's terribly wrong. Yeah, absolutely. Or, you know, you just noticed.

Sure, because maybe you're bigging, you know? Maybe they didn't get any stretch marks. They already had them. But still. Have you ever met somebody? This is terrible. I don't give a fuck. Have you ever met somebody that's like, I'm pregnant.

You're like, I didn't notice. And then they're like, almost to the point of delivering. A couple times you're like, I still don't notice. Whoa, are you? I worked with a woman. I couldn't tell the difference between before, during, and after. I was like, it's fucking big, big, big. Big, big, big, big, big, big.

Still fucking big. And it's always difficult because you don't know when there is somebody who clearly is pregnant. Or at least is clearly fatter, right? So like you run into somebody and they're clearly fatter than they used to be. Sure. Like by a lot, right? This is one of the worst

that you've ever talked about. And so you walk up and you're like, you're like, you've gotten fatter. Hey, you look different. Yeah, right? Like I don't know what to say

because you're not going to be like, when's the baby due? And they're like, I'm not pregnant. I'm just like'm just like uh right because you feel so i just say you look different i'm like you look different it you know what it's fatter it's like fatter different it's like when somebody cuts their hair and you're supposed to notice right away be like you look more girthy did you do something with your girth? You tussled it up a different way, didn't you?

You used to be like fatter up top, but now you're like fatter also down below. You're still fat up top. Don't get me wrong. You're like a belly ponytail. A belly ponytail. A belly ponytail. The lap band is the scrunchie. The lap band is the scrunchie.

I worked with a woman, another woman at a Burger King who legitimately did not know she was pregnant until she gave birth on the toilet. Like, that was a thing. Like, I was amazed. I was like 16 or 17. It's like, fucking Kathy's pregnant. Well, they're like, well, no, not anymore. And I was like, well, fucking like she skipped over because like in like, in your mind, you're like, you have to fast forward all the way through, holy shit, Kathy's pregnant.

Kathy's gonna have a baby. And then Kathy had a baby. You go right to Kathy had a baby. But you have to also rewind to, holy shit, Kathy's pregnant. She was pregnant. Holy shit, I missed Kathy's shower. Well, she gave birth in it. shower.

Well, she gave birth in it. It's a water birth. That's a toilet. That's not the same thing. You and your fancy water birth. You see, there are demons in the earth. Read Matthew, Mark's Gospel, chapter 5. There are demons all over where Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth.

This is from Right Wing Watch. This is David Benham again. I'm getting to like this guy. This is the second time he's talked up this week. It was the same show, I guess. It is. He should be on more shit, because he's crazy. Also from Right Wing Watch, we saw the inside of the devil's

lair when we became victims of the thought mafia that targets Christians. The thought mafia. The thought mafia. Nice thoughts you got there. Be a shame if somebody climbed into your skull and fucked him. Wait, what? I'd like to introduce you to my friends here.

That's Emmanuel Cant. When he says you can, you can't. It's a guy having, it's Descartes having like a discussion with his brain. He's like, you only exist out here because of me. Philosophy jokes, Jesus Christ. You know what the best part is? Like there's a whole segment of the audience is like, huh?? There's a whole segment of the audience that's like, huh? And there's a whole other segment

of the audience that's like, yeah! Finally, the metaphysics of morals comes in handy! One thing I studied. We were five weeks into a ten-week film shoot in the spring of 14. You can just go halfway. You could have just said halfway. I'm already bored.

I already dislike the way you speak. Five weeks into ten weeks. Fuck you. How about you were halfway done? How about you fuck you too? You've never been halfway done with anything. You've never been fucking a quarter of the way done with anything. I just start and I'm done.

Just start, done. Start, done. You actually can't measure the time, the amount of time it takes for you to stop. It's hard to figure out when you start. And that's when GLAAD and Right Wing Watch and other activist groups began to bully and call and target not only Jason and me. Okay, so what he's talking about is I guess that they were employed by HDTV for a while, and then they said some bigot shit. And then the HDTV said, hey, this is, you know, you probably then they said some bigot shit and then the HDTV said, hey, this is, you know, you probably shouldn't

say some bigot shit and they're like, yeah, well, you can't fire us because we're under contract or something like that and then they went back and forth and HDTV eventually just let them go. You know, of all the places to be an anti-gay bigot, maybe the place that's full of fucking design shows watched exclusively by gay people and old

ladies is not the fucking... Who else watches it? It's a fucking entire channel dedicated to interior design. Yeah, it's a whole channel deciding on what kind of fucking pillows are on your sofa. Do you think my dad and I are watching? Hey, man, let's get together and watch some fucking HGTV. Oh,

what time is Trading Spaces on, guys? Let's all get together and fucking watch Flip This Fucking House or fucking Paint the Wall or whatever the fucking shows are called. Paint the Wall. I don't know because I don't watch that shit. That's a terrible name for a show. You're fired.

But HGTV, and when they found that HG was not going to fire us, they stepped up their attacks by writing a brand new story, making us look like idiots. It's easy to make Jason look like an idiot, but they actually made me look like one, too. It's because you're an idiot. He's talking about his brother. He's like, it's easy to make him look like a fucking idiot. Fucking idiots.

Anyway, as a result of that, HG called us and said, listen, guys, and they used these words. We have to pander to these groups. We're firing you. Yeah, because they're the fucking, they're the main audience. Like, they're to these groups. We're firing you. Yeah, because they're the main audience. They're advertising these people. So when you're advertising to them and at the end of the thing, they go to a news broadcast and you're like, yeah, I kind of hate the gays. They're not going to fucking buy the products

because they're not going to watch your show. It's a simple economics, man. Did you think that HGTV was, oh, well, you know, we actually, the Home and Garden television channel fucking exists for some kind of big moral reason. They're just a fucking, they're a money-making machine. That's it.

If they could just make money, if they could just wake up tomorrow and not even produce a TV show and somebody would just send them a check, then they would do that. They don't care. All the rest of their, they're not in charge of making widgets, right? Right. That's the thing that like fucking makes me crazy. People don't understand. The widget is ancillary. Nobody cares about the widget. The widget is not the thing. The money is the thing. That's how companies are. My company happens to do real estate stuff. Not because we don't care about widgets at all. Fucking HGTV doesn't care about trading your space or

fucking throwing the right pillow on your couch or any of it. They just want the advertising dollars. That's the whole thing. They've got a niche and they're going to fill it. There's no principle involved. It's like the gay guy. He's got a niche and he's going to fill it. So they fired him. But they felt like they had to pander to these groups

and what Jason and I now have experienced is gay sex. You've experienced gay sex. And unemployment. Not mutually exclusive. That launched us kind of onto this national platform. Not that we were ever looking for it. But the next thing you know, Megyn Kelly and O'Reilly and Hannity and everybody's calling us. The CNNs, HBO.

All these bigots started calling. Oh, man. We went on the bigot circuit and then the KKK called and the fucking American Skinhead Association or whatever. I love that he's complaining. He's like, I don't know, fucking first I was famous for fixing houses on TV and then I was famous for not fixing houses anymore. Now I'm famous for the shit I said.

Right. Just like that fucking Bearded Dipshit. Yeah, right. Whatever fucking Robertson orhit. Duck Man. Duck Robertson. Of the 21st century. Darkwing Duck. Hollywood Insider. They're calling us saying, hey, give us the story of what really happened and what Jason and I saw.

We saw the inside of the devil's lair in terms of this thought mafia that targets Christians and big business that just panders to it and television networks that pander to it. What does that even mean? We saw the inside of devil's lair. People want an interview because it's a fucking story. And somebody showed up and you sat down and they had a microphone.

That's the devil's lair? It's the most fucking weak sauce lair ever. Oh, Cecil, look around in our studio. We're in the devil's lair? It's the most fucking weak sauce lair ever. Oh, see, so look around in our studio. We're in the devil's lair. There's a microphone. They need to at least have like the light flicker so it's like a murder scene type thing, you know? Oh man, welcome to my lair. I don't know, you got chairs and a microphone.

What do you turn up? They turn up the fucking studio lights real hot? It's like your buddy's basement when you were a kid. Let's go to your lair. Oh my god, guys. We're gonna play Magic the Gathering. It's your lair. We're gonna call this fucking sex to your lair. Oh my God, guys. We're going to play Magic the Gathering. It's your lair. We're going to call this fucking sex club the lair.

Nah. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website,

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to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. Alright, Cecil, so we didn't vet this, but it's funny, so we're going to do it anyway. These are supposedly sex devotional slides from BYU, and it compares the difference between worldly sex and God-ordained marital intimacy. And before we, we should read these

and then comment delightfully upon them. But just from the name alone, if I have the choice between worldly sex and God-ordained marital intimacy, if I looked at a woman and I was like, we should have sex, and I looked at a woman and said, we should have God-ordained marital intimacy,

if I say we should have sex, we might. Yeah. If I say we should have some God ordained marital intimacy, we are certainly not going to. Yeah. It is just a fucking zero percent chance. That's a cuddle. Isn't that a cuddle? I think that's a cuddle. That is what's called a compromise. Worldly sex. You mean I

get to have sex with one of them orientals? Worldly sex is where you fuck a globe so worldly sex involves carnal sensual and devilish passions high five bro yeah all right god-ordained marital sex is under the influence of the spirit and i was like i have had worldly sex under the influence of spirits no kidding yeah like a lot of times actually under influence of spirits right that's how you spend most of your day worldly sex involves again carnal sensual and devilish passions i'm fucking right on that right by the way it's an or involves spirit enhanced and purified passions.

That sounds like they're selling you soap. It does, right? You know what I mean? It sounds like they're selling you soap. It's highly pure. It's got, like, fucking caffeine in it to fucking stretch your skin tight or something. With passion fruit or something. It's like, it's more like, it tastes like elderflower or something. What's going on?

What's going on down there? Worldly sex. I love this one. This is one of my there? Worldly sex. I love this one. This is one of my favorites. This is mine. I like this one, too. Anything goes. That's right.

Really? Butt stuff. Who wrote that? Because we should talk. Well, it's a dude, so we should talk. Don't talk. Don't cut off any lanes here. I'm just saying, anything is anything, right? Exactly. Maybe he's got a sister. I don't cut off any lanes here just say it's anything anything is anything yeah right exactly

yeah maybe maybe he's got a sister i don't know god ordained marital intimacy exquisite care taken to avoid anything that offends the spirit i'm not even sure what that means i'm not even sure what that means actually like you know a lot of times you just want to keep the lights off. You know what I mean? Not me. Turn them on. Here's me in all my glory. What's up?

I want to see what I'm working on. Worldly sex degrades men and women, degrades the body as a plaything. Body as a plaything isn't necessarily degrading, but if everybody signs up for it, we're still willing to go. Versus God-ordained marital sex. Honors men and women. Celebrates the body as one of the great prizes of mortal life.

A prize? Yeah, it's like, well, we see when you get to the end of Mortal Kombat, you get the prize of mortal life. I was thinking it's like one of those crane games. Like, man, it picks you up and fucking fumble fucks around. You have to fight a whole tournament of people and knock their heads off to get your mortal life back. God or worldly sex ravages and eventually ruins relationships. Wow.

Versus God-ordained marital intimacy. So you're laying in the hump all the time and that ruins your relationship? I'm not 100 sure how but i guess maybe if every you're just fucking ravaging every time like i mean eventually you're just like yeah geez i it's on them it's like it's hanging off by a string at this point right like i gotta stop or it's just gonna come off right it's like uh sorry man i've got every flavor of venereal disease it's like one of those It's like one of those red, white, and blue pops. Blue pop pops?

What is the what God-ordained marital intimacy is? Strengthens, supports, heals, and hollows? Hallows? Hallows? What is... Spouses in marriage, I think makes holy. Oh, I see. Yeah. Not like the deathly hollows. Hallows? Hallows? What is... Spouses in marriage, I think makes holy. Oh, I see. Yeah.

Not like the deathly hollows. Again, compare that to ravaging. I'll fucking ravage. Like, I'll take the ravaging. It is the deathly hollows because you're always looking for a horcrux. You got to pay extra for the horcrux. I've seen that birthmark before. That's not my wand.

Worldly sex. I like this. I like this one, too. Like the toot of a flute. Hey, sweetheart, you can toot my flute anytime, huh? It's like the toot of a flute. What does that mean? I've never... You know what would be so weird? If

you fucking finish up, you fucking slap her on the ass. Like, good game. That was like the toot of a flute. What the fuck does that mean? Was it good for you? Great. Like the toot of a flute. I didn't ej mean like what is that was it good for you great like the tune of a flute yeah i didn't ejaculate a lot i guess that's what it means it's like i think this is the amount of ejaculate like because you're fucking all the time so there's not a lot built up but the other one is god ordained like the grandeur of an orchestra because you're fucking basically

opening the floodgates after two and a half years of not fucking. So you're just like fucking, it's like a fire hose. It's just flipping off at the end. It's like spray in the room. You got to get it under control. I'm just saying that's a lot of pressure. No, literally because if it's moving like this. It's moving all over the place. Yeah, it'd take two men and a boy to hold that

thing. Jesus. You got the whole German gangbang crew trying to hold the thing for you. If somebody's expecting the grandeur of an orchestra? Grandeur. I'm more like the toot of a flute. Worldly sex is

an obsession. Versus. Who do you want me to be? God ordained marital intimacy. Glorious. It will continue eternally for covenant keeping husbands and wives. Glory whole.

Glory whole. It will continue. Well, not eternally, but at least until you finish and knock on the wall. Here's the problem. The knock on the wall is like the tap to let him know it's coming. It's just polite. It's just polite.

You know, here we go. Here we go. It's happening. You're going to pull away so the camera sees this. You know, it's glory. I don't know how true these are, but I think they're very funny.

They're hilarious. I think the juxtaposition is funny. And it doesn't, you know, the thing is, is like, again, if it's a Poe, there's a reason why Poes work, because they seem believable enough. So when you read them, you're like, I can see that.

Because it's not far off from the mark. It's not so far off that you think that this wouldn't be. It feels, and this feels actually a little tame. It could be a lot worse than this, right? But I mean, I legitimately, I read these and I'm like, I will actually take the worldly sex. It sounds way better. And that's one of the reasons why, you know, you would think maybe these are not real.

Because, you know, who doesn't want the anything goes carnal passion? And not just that, because you start thinking about it. You're like, you're like, first off, you're probably a virgin. Like, you're probably a virgin. And you're thinking about this. You're like, I don't want all the carnal devilish passions. I want it all. Take them all. Yeah. I just want to wear the gift mask.

Can I just do that? I want a zipper mouth. Can I do that? Zipper mouth. Ball gag. Zipper mouth. Allah. Akbar.

Akbar. Allah. Akbar. Allah. Who? Akbar. Just little Allah. Thank you, Chicago. This is from little, oh, la, la. Thank you, Chicago.

This is from thesecularatheist.com. Women die because of religion in Saudi Arabia. And this opens up, this is a blog, it opens up with a story about a woman who got in an accident or got hurt and needed to go to the hospital. And they wouldn't take her to the hospital until the husband arrived, a male guardian arrived. So in Saudi Arabia, women are not free to come and go without the presence of a male guardian. They have to have somebody to move about the country, to go places, to get into a car, to get into an ambulance, to go to a hospital. They have to have a male guardian with them. So if you're fucking bleeding out, you got to wait for your fucking minder. You got to wait for your fucking keeper

to come take you places. What's crazy to me is, and I want to read part of this article here. And this is not an uncommon case. And I want to, I want to, you know, we talked about, you know, people, there's a bunch of these people, they, they, they pass this law where women can vote and a bunch of women couldn't vote because they couldn't actually get to a polling place because they couldn't actually get there because they can't drive. They don't allow them to drive, and they don't allow them to leave the house without their guardian. But I want to read this particular section. In 2002, when a girls' school caught fire, 15 girls died because the religious police would not let them escape the burning school as they did not have the right religious clothing to appear in public.

school as they did not have the right religious clothing to appear in public. One witness said she saw three policemen beating young girls to prevent them from leaving the school because they were not wearing the abaya. And I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly. Who cares? Here's the thing. Here's why it doesn't matter how you pronounced it. It's evil. Yeah. It's a genuine evil thing.

That's a genuinely evil thing. Yeah. And anybody who would want to defend that kind of behavior, the beating of young children to keep them in a burning building because you think that they're going to offend God, they're going to offend – their uncovered heads are going to offend God more than their charred corpse. What the fuck kind of God are you worshiping? Because if that God isn't offended by the fact that those kids died and are a charred fucking corpse, then he's not a god you want to fucking worship. And, you know, like, just to get, I want to point back to the Greenwalls and the other idiots who are just like,

well, it's just their culture. It's just, it's fucking evil. Yeah. That is, that is definitionally evil. And, you know, if there was a prison, a prison full of fucking rapists and murderers that caught on fire, we would send people in to try to evacuate that prison.

Prisoners. These are kids. These are just women. These are just girls. The fucking place is on fire and you're pushing them back into a fire. Who pushes someone into a fire? There's never a time that we push people into fires. There's never a time that's not evil.

It doesn't even matter who it is. If fucking death row caught on fire, you would have a moral obligation to evacuate death row. You would have that obligation. These are people we're going to kill, even if they were all going to be executed tomorrow. You would have an obligation, you have a fucking

moral obligation to evacuate them, even knowing that tomorrow they're getting the tomorrow they're getting the needle in their arm. You would have that obligation. Absolutely. Yeah. I kind of punted a little on this week's.

I did, too. I didn't do as much research as I would have hoped for. I didn't disappoint myself, but I certainly didn't do as much research as I would have hoped for. I didn't disappoint myself, but I certainly didn't do as much research as I did the first week. This chapter just goes on and on and on, and it's still talking about Diana dying. I want to mention that this is

David Icke's biggest secret. We're still doing it. This is chapter 19. I think there's only chapter 22, so it's a couple more weeks, and then we'll be switching books. We'll find something new, but we're still reading the biggest secret. This is chapter 19. I think there's only chapter 22, so it's a couple more weeks. And then we'll be switching books. We'll find something new. But we're still reading The Biggest Secret. This is 19B we're covering, which is Diana's death still. So, Tom, how many

questions? I got four. I got four as well. Why don't you go first? All right, man. What is a favorite method for the secret assassins known as the clinic to use? A. Remote-controlled cars. B. Umbrella guns. C. Wristwatches with poison dart frogs in them that are trained to attack.

Dart frogs? D. Wombats and Jews. Wombat Jews. Wombat Jews. It's Wombat Jews. It's fucking remote-controlled cars. All right, Tom. Yeah. Diana was one of the greatest goddesses

of the ancient world. No, in fact. She represented female energy, also known as A. Clitori. The mythical creature that Adesas searches several continents for but never found. B. Tetez.

This magical goddess was known for her was known for her milkshakes and how they brought all the boys to the yards yes that's true c barati britannia isis aphrodite and artemis or d pre-minotaur syndrome also known as pms she was a total bitch. I'm going to go with the clitoris one just because it makes me laugh, but of course it's C. It's C, of course. See, so if you're trying to kill someone, what else is essential beyond the assassination attempt itself?

A. Oils. You must also control the means of production. That's... I love it. B. You must also control the medical team that tend to the assassinated.

Okay. C, you must also control the media that reports on the assassination. D, you must also control literally everyone that has ever seen the person that you are assassinating.

Who means of production is the best one? Or E, for extra credit, Jew lizards. Jew lizards. Jew lizards. It's always Jews. It's always the Jews. All right, Tom, the human race has been tricked.

What word does David use to describe this fuckery? A, bamboozled. B, hornswoggle. Or C, hoodwinked. I don't remember. Those are all of them. He says hoodwinked like seven times in a row at the end of the chapter. I don't remember. He says hoodwinked. We've been hoodwinked because of this. We've been hoodwinked. He don't remember. Those are all of them. He says hoodwinked like seven times in a row at the end of the chapter. I don't remember.

He says hoodwinked. We've been hoodwinked because of this. We've been hoodwinked. He says it a bunch of times. I just thought it was pretty funny. I didn't see him writing any of those words. No, yeah. Bamboozled.

I'm sure he says bamboozled and hornswoggled somewhere in the book. It's like he's fucking Yosemite. He's like Yosemite Sam, the fucking author. He's the rootin' tootinist. All right. Cecil, who was behind Diana's assassination? A. A fly.

B. A spider. C. A bird. D. A cat. Which catches the bird who swallowed the spider which wiggled inside her and I don't know why she swallowed the fly but she certainly died. She did die. There's an actual answer.

What is the answer? It is both A and B because he refers to the spider web and he says, so who actually killed Diana? Well, you're going to think it's the fly but it's the spider which controls the fly. It's like fucking, you're an asshole.

All right, Tom. Prince Charles and the queen sometimes have arguments about what? A. asshole. All right, Tom. Prince Charles and the Queen sometimes have arguments about what? A. Okay. All right. They argue over which bits of the body they get to eat and who gets to absorb the victim's last breath and steal their soul.

B. If Charles can take his crown jewels out of mom's purse. C. Which type of milk to put in their Earl Grey tea. Or D. Which swan they're going to pardon on Grand Fizzy Wig Day? It's a swan on Fizzy Wig Day? No, it's A. It's a swan on Fizzy Wig Day.

It is A. It's amazing. See, so what is one of the challenges we all face? A. How to balance work and life. B. How to balance our male and female energies to enjoy them both. C. To find the clitoris. D. To read this book and not commit ritual Japanese suicide with any sharp object out of hand, out of boredom and frustration. It's definitely that one.

It's definitely that one. Also, it's how to balance our male and female energies. There was a lot of symbolism involved in Diana's death. There was. Which example is one that Ike stated? A. Right before her death, a bi-wing sky writer wrote, Look out, Diana, they're trying to kill you. I love that it's a bi-wing.

That's so clever. B. On the way to crashing into the 13th pillar, she passed by Osiris obelisk-like cock. C, the car she died in was a Mitsubishi Baphomet. Or D, Henry Kissinger gave her a greeting card shaped like a coffin. The weirdest thing is it's the fucking Osiris' cock. It's Osiris' cock.

That's the thing. Okay, so I'm just going to read the fucking Osiris' cock. It's Osiris' cock. That's the thing. Okay, so I'm just going to read the synopsis here real quick. When Diana died, she did so where lots of other stuff happened throughout history, which isn't fucking hard in a city over 2,000 years old. The car crash was obviously meticulously planned and executed. We know this because he crashed into the 13th pillar and not the 12th or the 14th the prince and the queen wanted diana dead because they are evil lizard people who have a flag with a lion on it there you go there you this that's it yeah that's it they have a flag with a lion yeah and so i love that i love that he keeps on bringing up he's like

and see they have a flag with a lion i'm yeah, the person who told us that a flag with a lion on it is evil is you. And he told us that two chapters ago. I know. Nobody else thinks they're evil. Yeah. Like no one in the world thinks just having heraldry makes you evil. I do. Actually, I do.

I've always. What? Yeah. When you have like fucking, you know, you have a shield with your coat of arms on it that immediately makes you evil. Yeah. Yeah. With a lion.

Oh, nobody uses the lion as a symbol of majesty and power. What? What? Next week, chapter 20. Oh, thank God. We're almost there. You want answers? I think I'm entitled.

You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This is crazy. This is from Joplin, Missouri. Bible study canceled after a group claims donuts were used to lure

kids to class. And I got to tell you, Cecil, I read this and I was horrified and I thought, can you imagine the damage they could have done with danishes? It's better than when the priest offered donuts, they have to play ring toss with that's better that way yeah this is one time you don't want to be team donut one time i'll tell you what everyone's team danish that more than one people. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. News leader.

Leader. Mmm, donuts. They said Monday the Bible study did not comply with the district policy called don't give out donuts to lure kids to Bible study. They have like a line of Skittles that lead them to the Bible. What are you doing? You're just like, oh oh here's a caloric bomb for you that will like raise your endorphins. Why don't you have one of these?

It's like a line of prostitutes to the confessional. Hear about Jesus? No you want to eat that while it's on the ring. You want to kiss the ring. It's like one of those kids toys with like donuts of successive size like smaller.

You put the munchkin on there. Just the ring. It's like one of those kids toys with donuts of successive size, like smaller. A little smaller. Yeah, every time. And then you put the munchkin on top. Right. I just rip right in the... Yeah. It's custard filled. Just go ahead.

It's custard filled. Now you got to work at it for a while. Every donut is a fucking Boston cream. Yeah, I'm talking about sex here. They're just talking about ruining your kid's brain. That's all. No, I... I guess what I'm saying is I'd fuck a donut.

Of course. Just saying. But, you know, we talk about whether or not, you know, we should even have Bible study in class, like in school. Like, should it even be there? Sure. But then, you know, this idea that you're going to be like, let's get all the fat kids to show up. You're definitely going to get all the chubby kids to show up to your Bible study. This is Joplin, Missouri.

You're just going to get all the poor kids, which is all the kids in Missouri. That's true, too. That's actually even the worst part of it. There's a lot of fucking kids that are like, I just need a foods to eat. If you're going to tell me about the Bibble, fine, but I need a food to eat. If you're going to tell me about the Bibble, fine, but I need a food to eat. Two stories this week of religious indoctrination in schools. The Narconon and

the donuts, man. Because, you know, these religions understand something very important, which is if they don't get you young, they don't get you at all. Well, they're going to get in front of you, and then they're going to put these, you know, in this case, they're going to put some good memories in your head. You know what I mean? mean you'd be like especially if you're a poor kid you don't get donuts very often you're like i mean i remember when i was a kid and i was poor

the idea of ordering out pizza was it was fucking amazing it was it was magic it never happened we never ordered pizza in my family but if i just happened to be over at a friend's house spending the night and they ordered pizza it was all i could do to not keep eating the pizza until it was, I mean, I would until I was sick. If they let me eat that much pizza. The other thing that I remember too, when I was a kid, if I stayed the night at a friend's house was cereal. Cause we never had cereal in our house. Cause you couldn't, we couldn't afford cereal. And I remember like getting a box of cereal that that would be on the table it would be all I could do from like not just keep pouring and drinking and pouring the milk in the box I could literally

just just eat the whole box of cereal if you set it down in front of me because I never got it as a kid sure so for me it was like it was like a sugar rush you got you could have said anything like I'm gonna stick this up your ass and be like I don't care give me more cereal like is there captain crunch jesus I want more cereal because if there Captain Crunch? Jesus, I want more cereal. Because if there's a Crunch Berry, you can put the whole fuck, all those little elf guys right up there. I don't care. I'll trade you a Crunch Berry for a Dingleberry. No, but seriously, like,

I think it's very easy to influence children. Of course it is. With this sort of thing. And they know it, man. Exactly, and they know it. They know it, and they're using it. Yeah. They know it, man. Exactly, and they know it. They know it, and they're using it.

Yeah. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons for making this studio possible, for making this podcast possible, for making the live stream we're hoping to do right after the inauguration this upcoming week. We will post a link on social media

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patrons. Of course, we want to thank Elizabeth, Darian, Daniel, Michael, Devil Vamp, Captain Dave, Elise, David, Jacob, Stink Vomit, Keegan, Zombie Survival Camp. Is that Zombiesurvivalcamp.canada?

Is that what that is? .ca? There's not going to be any zombies up there. Christyul robert daniel prone to drift aaron phil tim cindy railbin raven desiree christopher wajidi dan josh kirby joseph smith married my wife rye rye gordo and kristin thanks so much for your generous donations we really do truly appreciate it so we got a uh a youtube we're not gonna play this but this is a youtube video that was sent to us by a couple of different people. This one in particular is from Sydney. Sydney says, hey, this is David Icke rap. So we're going to put this on this week's show notes, David Icke rap.

It's kind of crazy. It's auto-tuned. It's bizarre. Auto-tuned David Icke rap. Yeah. Got a message from Jess, and Jess has an image of Donald Trump, which I've seen in a couple of different places. But it's a really great political image that we're going to include in this week's show notes. I really like – It's really good.

Yeah, it's a really great – It's a really great image. Really great scathing political image. So we have Megan go through and star our emails, and this one got starred. Thank you, Megan. Can I read this? Yeah, sure. Now, this is from Yuan Su.

Yeah. So. Says, hey, why the silent? Haven't you received the project contract yet? Megan, I think that one can get into the junk folder. That's a spam one. That's a spam one. Thanks.

I don't think we've received the contract project's contract yet. But Cecil, why the silent? Why the silent? Why? Megan, why the silent? You can read these, Megan. We got a message from, this is from Emily

and she posted this. It's another video we're going to put on this. Now, this is Alex Jones. Itily and she posted this it's a it's another video we're gonna put on this now this is alex jones it's real weird and it's uh it's sort of a anime but but they use his own sounds to make the music and it's him making a bunch of sounds which is very funny it is real funny it's real weird my favorite is when he's doing the t-rex he's kind of got his arms up and he's like it's fucking awesome i love it so check this video out it's on this week's show notes this is episode 338 we got an image i don't know if this is real tom but we got it either but it's funny we got an image from sawyer who sent this along they could check it out on this week's show notes it was found at the ymca and it's a personal

achievement goal for 2017 i don't know how true it is. It could just be a little troll plan. Might be. I always assume it's a troll, but it's a great goal. Tom, you wanted to talk about this. This is from Raul. Yeah, so Raul says he has a girlfriend. Girlfriend wants him to go to church. She doesn't believe in God.

He says, after an argument one night, she told me she could never trust a man if he did not have God and told me that she would not be willing to let our relationship go on if I didn't give Christianity a serious chance. So he basically kicks her to the curb and he says, hey, what would you guys have done? Why'd I kick her to the fucking curb? Like, look, you

can't fake it, right? I could no sooner believe. I can't believe in a God I don't believe in. I can't make myself believe something. That's not how this works. And when somebody sets preconditions on a relationship that you cannot meet,

then that's not a relationship anymore. It's just fucking sorry. What you've discovered is just fucking incompatible. And you fucking move on.org. In my opinion, there's nothing there that can be salvaged. I mean, you're looking at a position that she's not willing to bend on.

Right, and look, everybody gets to have that, right? Everybody gets to say, like, look, this is a precondition of this relationship, and if it's something you can't meet, then you just don't meet it. So we got a message from Greg, and Greg says, at various times you guys referred to there being potential consequences for free speech, but I can only recall once where you qualified that statement to exclude violence. As you know, there are a great many morons in this world who, when they hear media personalities, we're not media personalities, seemingly endorse consequences for speech, they take it as

permission to violently oppress objectionable speech. I trust that you agree that consequences for speech should never be more than speech between private parties. I ask that you every time mention potential consequences for speech, you specifically condemn violence as unacceptable recourse. Greg, if anybody listens to this show and thinks that we think violence is a justified thing or thinks that violence is an acceptable recourse for anything, then they haven't listened to any of the shows that we've done. I don't feel like I need to say that every time because I never profess that violence is the answer to anything. So for me to say it there feels silly to me because I don't think violence is the answer to anything. Yeah,

I'm not going to every time I discuss the fact that there are consequences to speech. You've got to understand, I'm not promoting any consequences, right? I'm simply pointing out that consequences exist. I'm not saying consequences should exist and here's what they should be. Who the fuck should listen to me about that? I'm just a dude.

You're just a dude with an expensive microphone. Right. So I'm not saying that there should be consequences and here's what those consequences are. I've never said that. I'm just a dude. You're just a dude with an expensive microphone. Right. So I'm not saying that there should be consequences and here's what those consequences are. I've never said that. I've never said that. What I'm saying is that there are consequences. Regardless of my... I could die

right now and there will still be consequences to speech. It makes no difference. Exactly. Yeah. But I also feel too very strongly. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I've never prescribed consequences. But I also feel, too, very strongly, I agree with you wholeheartedly, I've never prescribed consequences, but I also want to say, like, I've never said, let's do violence. Violence is a good idea.

Now, I understand violence in certain situations, but I certainly don't, I don't ever think violence is the answer to things. A patron by the name of Sakash... Is it... Sakashite. Is it Sakashite? Sakashite.

Sakashite. I don't know. I don't it Saka Shite? Saka Shite? Fuck-a-sume? Saka Shite? I don't know. I don't want to say Saka Shite because that seems like... I'm going to assume that it's Saka Shite. In any case... In any kike? In any kike.

What, Eli on the show? In any case, this person said, I just heard about the three-person marriage thing. This was from the Green Party who have one member of parliament out of 650 members of parliament.

That's awesome that they found that one thing that the Green Party said, we'd be open to this and there's nobody else. They're not even 1% of the fucking parliament. I guess about, it's awesome. We got a message from Allison and Allison sent a long

email about um you know we talked about the drownings in bangladesh and uh allison said that uh that she's sort of done a little research of that area of the world and there's a lot of things that could contribute to that extreme weather systems in bangladesh she says they uh they get typhoons and cyclones. They get three major events a year, three typhoons a year. That's insane. That's a lot. A typhoon every three months, pardon me. So that's even more.

For a year. Major flooding, sanitation. This results in major flooding, salinization of crops, and destruction of homes. So there may be some things there. She says also that Bangladesh is a poverty-stricken nation. Most building materials are bamboo, and so there's a chance that those things can collapse during large storms. So the chances are that there may be some inflation of those numbers drowning

that's because of all these storms and all this stuff. That's incredible. It's something to think about. You know, it's funny. You hear about these things, and you're like, you just, all these storms and all this stuff. Right. That's incredible. It's something to think about. You know, it's funny. You hear about these things and you're like, you just never think about it. You never think about what it's like to live in a place that isn't insulated from the weather. You never think about it. I mean, it's first world problems.

Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. We're in the Midwest. Yeah. It's like every now and again there's a tornado. Yeah. But like a tornado is like a, it's a micro event.

Yeah. By comparison to typhoons. Exactly. And it's a small little area. Yeah, it's major for the people who got hit by it if the tornado touches the ground. But on a population basis. What is it, like 20 houses or something? I mean, yeah, that can be more and bigger. They can go on for miles.

But they're rare when they get like that. But they're pretty rare. Most of the time, it's pretty localized. It's a couple of houses get really fucked up, one trailer park, and then it's over. Yeah, it's always a trailer park. It really is. Tom, you wanted to read this. This is from Mr. Bear Pig. Yeah, I love this. I love this particularly because I hate the, you know, the world is collapsing, let's buy gold things. This is amazing. Hey guys, love the show. I had a funny incident at work the other day I thought I would share with you. I'm from Southern Ohio and I work in a factory full of the people I love to hear you

make fun of every week. Anyway, the guy I worked with the other day was thought I would share with you. I'm from southern Ohio and I work in a factory full of the people I love to hear you make fun of every week. Anyway, the guy I worked with the other day was going on and on about the end of the world and all the things you need to be prepared for. And one of these things was gold, of course. So I asked, where do you get your gold? And he hesitates for a few seconds and he says, follow me. He takes me

to the break room where there are a few vending machines and in the corner there's a change machine. He says, you got any cash? I pull out a $5 bill and I hand it over. He puts it in the machine. It spits out five gold Sacagawea dollars. And he whispers to me, I've got over 3,000 of these at home.

That's just heavy money. You traded paper money worth the exact same currency for the exact same currency. it's just less convenient to carry in an apocalypse you've actually if money means anything you've made your life worse yeah because it's not only heavier it's louder right yeah right with it i guess you could put it in a sock yeah and whack somebody with it like that's it it's it's wrap it around your neck and jump in

the water that's the funniest shit ever because it was gold colored. He assumed it was gold. And he just assumed that the machine would be like, I'm a secret gold producing machine. When I put $5 in it, I get five gold coins. Inside is Scrooge McDuck. Yarr, they put the pirate's treasure in the change machine. So we got a message from Brian from the Glasgow Skeptics. Brian was so great when we went

out there. We had such a great time. And Brian put on this little quiz show with us out there, had us drink iron brew. It was so much fun. He sent a message this week. We got your message. We clearly can't print the picture because, you know, it's someone we don't know, but it's a very funny email. Thanks, Brian, for emailing us. Thank you so much, Brian. So we got a message from from Canyon. I was going to say crayon. It's because it's small and my eyes are old. But it says, basically, Canyon is wondering, what do we think about the conspiracy theorists that used to be sort of on the left that were hippies and anti-vaxxers and sort of noticing that they're on the right as well, because Trump is also anti-vax. What do you think is... I think there's a crazy overlap that's going on right now.

It's like a weird Venn diagram. Yeah. Well, it's like a weird Ouroboros, you know? It's nuts. The same yahoos on one side are fucking eating their tail on the other side. And it's bizarre, you know, because what you have on the anti-vax side, particularly anti-vax, is you have all the, you know, homeschooling right-wing Christian nuts who live over here who are afraid of government. And so they're, you know, Trump supporters. And the other side, you've got all the hippie-dippie-doobahs who don't know what the fuck they're talking about and cover themselves in patchouli oil, you know, like, Hey man, like diseases are natural or whatever.

You gotta have as much dirt on you as possible. Just all I do is I squeeze out my dreadlocks into my mouth. I just rub some color on it. It's cool. It's, it is funny. There is a, there is a weird overlap.

It's like a weird Venn diagram. Well, uh, we hope that we have a great time at this upcoming live event. We hope that people will tune into our other live event that's going to be happening on Friday. If you're looking for more information, you can send us an email or you can tweet at us or talk to us on Facebook and we will tell you all about it. On Friday morning, right after the inauguration, we are going to be going live on live stream and we will be posting the links. You can come check it out and communicate with us and it'll be fun. So it'll be a little live thing.

Yeah, it's going to be fun. It's going to be real fun. A little live thing for you. This is the worst thing. This is the worst thing. This is the worst thing. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed.

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