Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 339: Tiny Hands Across America

Episode Date: January 23, 2017

In this episode, Cecil and Tom discuss a couple of stories including one about a politician allegedly inappropriately grabbing a woman in her genital area, a story about how we will all become Muslim because of atheism and paganism, a priest files a complaint with Irish Government after comedian calls Communion "Haunted Bread", and how Prayer Warriors descend on Washington to provide a prayer shield for Donald Trump. Stories covered in episode:    Check out our live show in Chicago with the God Awful Movies Crew:    

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. Go to AdamandEve.com for a limited time only. You'll get 50% off just about any item. Go to AdamandEve.com and use the code GLORY at checkout. That's GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at AdamandEve.com. What's up, Tom and Cecil? Tomorrow's Inauguration Day, and I thought of a song that'll just get us through. It's the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine.

That's fucking underpressed. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome mat. This is episode 339 of Cognitive Dissonance. Cecil, this is our first show after our successful onstage American debut. I know. I know. I know. We were at the Victory Gardens Biograph Theater just this last week with the fine folks from

the Gamcast. Yeah. And, man, I had a fucking blast. You know what was amazing was the people that I got a chance to meet from all over the country that came in for that. That's astonishing, isn't it? That was what was so great about it. You know, you get a chance to meet somebody.

the country that came in for that. That was what was so great about it. You know, you get a chance to meet somebody. Some people came up from Louisiana with beads for us that they clearly spent time making those beads. Like they had to go to a place with like logos and images and get everything

set up. There's other people. There was people that I met from Washington, D.C. There was people I met from Texas. I talked for a long time with a woman from Texas. There was a bunch of people from all over the country. And then also just locally. I ran into people from Antioch. I ran into people from Galesburg.

I ran into people from the Quad Cities. Are they still fighting the Civil War in Galesburg? I met people from Cincinnati. I met people from Indiana. I met people from other parts of Ohio. Pennsylvania, there was a crew of people that came in. They even have working roads in Pennsylvania. How'd they get there?

There was a couple that broke down on the way to the show. I know. And they missed the show. And they showed up just afterwards so they could have drinks with people in the Red Lion. I was like, how shitty is that? Yeah, but how awesome is it that people were willing to say i care so little about my time i value myself so little but they're from kentucky so their time is their time is very valueless fair fair but think about it another way okay

they're from kentucky they could be drinking bourbon oh that's true it is funny as soon as i started i was like i was like what kind of bourbon you want he's like i want weller and i was like we don't have that i was like i was like you got five popular bourbons to choose from yeah right so pick one i got him a i got him a couple of rounds of blantons because the blantons was flowing but then after that that blantons ran out he ran out of the bottle and then we switched to get the bottle from jefferson reserve after that that's a fine bourbon fine bourbon that's a fine bourbon so but it was great it was really great to get a chance to meet all these people we got a chance to uh be on stage with some really funny guys and we just i we just had a great night so um if you want to hear that episode you can hear it on god awful

movies that released this week we'll put a link in this week's show notes. If a video were taken, and I'm not sure that there was, but if a video were taken and they posted for their patrons, we will see if we can get it for our patrons as well. But if you want to hear that show, that show is live now. It actually turned out great. It's really funny. So go ahead and give it a listen. So Cecil, this first story comes from WestportDailyVoice.com.

Because I'm always going here just to check and see what's going on in beautiful Westport. Greenwich. I know that's pronounced wrong. Greenwich? Greenwich. It's like a sandwich that you leave out for a while. It's pronounced wrong Greenwich? It's like a sandwich that you leave out for a while It's like a vegan sandwich That's not a sandwich That's for fucking hookers and single mothers

It's disgusting Wait a minute What do they have in common? Nothing It's just vaginas It's unnecessarily mean to hookers That's unnecessarily mean to hookers. Oh, that's unnecessarily mean to single mothers. I'm mad at everybody.

Oh, well. Now I'm not going to be fucked by hookers or single mothers. You are going to be fucked. Oh, no. All right, cops. Greenwich Republican insulted town worker, then pinched her groin. So this isn't Greenwich Connecticut. Pinched a groin inch.

This guy sounds like the worst guy ever. He really does. Let me read part of this. Yeah, sure. I just want to point out, though, before we get into this, this is alleged. So I want to make sure.'s a report yes from it was a police report but i do want to read something before tom reads exactly what he did i do want to i do want to read this it says police said video footage from surveillance camera on the day of the incident is consistent with the sequence of events described by the complainant so i just want to mention that while it's alleged,

they did see somebody pinching someone's hoo-ha. It's pretty hard to be like, I didn't do that. We got video. Here's some handcuffs. Because that's pretty much what fucking happened here. So let me explain what happened here. So this guy, he calls a town worker, quote, nothing but a blood-s sucking, lazy union employee.

Well, that's accurate, though. Well, come on. I mean, come on. I don't even know what the insult there is. Yeah. You're just sitting here just like nailed it. Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, take it up with my union rep. I don't give a fuck. Feeling pretty good. I think I'm going to fucking play some words with friends here for a few minutes. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you talking to me? I was on strike. On the clock.

Thank you very much. Somebody else is busy negotiating a pay raise for me, so I don't know why you're pitching. You're not even doing it yourself. Oh, God. We're going to email some fucking union workers. I'm pro-union. I'm pro-union.

Their rep will send the mail. Who am I kidding? They're fucking, they quit halfway through. That's great. Send it to us on one of your many, many breaks. Maybe you'll be too tired from leaning against your shovel or whatever. I'm totally pro-union. Me too, me too. I'm totally pro-union. Me too. Me too.

I'm totally pro-union. Me too. Me too. Like hard pro-union. My dad was a teamster. My dad was a teamster for all his life. Like for 43 years, my dad was a teamster. So that's like a...

That's so funny. Like he had horses. My dad was fucking lazy. He was lazy. He was so lazy. And an alcoholic too. Oh, that's not as funny. No, but the Teamsters all are.

Did anyone pitch his groin? He couldn't get people to stop pitching his groin. I can't get people to start. Oh, no. All right, so this fucking guy is 71 years old. He gets arrested, and he gets charged with fourth degree. There's four degrees of sexual assault, more and you're fucking wait kevin bacon there's there's that many degrees of sexual assault is it how big the welt is from the pinch

they like measure the well like no that's fourth degree oh that's just a fourth just a little if it's just a little then that's not so. But if you give it a good welt. There's not even a crab claw mark on that thing. Maybe that's what it is. She's like, what sign are you? He's like, I'm a cancer. He starts crabby. He's a lobstrosity.

That's a gunfighter reference. That's a gun shooter reference. There you go. Anyway, he doesn't like a littlefighter reference. It is. It's a gun shooter reference. There you go. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, he doesn't like a little Dark Tower humor. So, the show is amazing so far. He gets it. Oh, Jesus.

This is the worst thing we've ever done. No, it's not. We've gotten so much worse. So, Evanelli, he has this confrontation with this woman, and his comment is like, hey, I don't have to be politically correct anymore. She said that. Right. Again, we don't know. We don't know exactly the words that were uttered, but this is the complaint.

And then he gave her a little, whoop, whoop. Hold on a minute. You pinch an ass. You grab a groin. He's going for the skull bandit, you know, a pinch between the lip and gum. You know what I mean? It's groin. He's going for the skull bandit. A pinch between the lip and gum. You know what I mean? It's right there. It's right there.

All right. So according to what he said, according to what was alleged, rather, he said, I love this new. This is actually why this story is a story, right? Right. Because presumably this story is a story because people are feeling emboldened, supposedly. And again, whether this is true or not, we'll have to find out. But the idea here is that there are a certain group of people known as monsters. feeling emboldened, supposedly. And again, whether this is true or not, we'll have to find out. But the idea here is that there are a certain group of people known as monsters,

colloquially, who are feeling emboldened by the new world order that we see ourselves in. Trump opened the closet for all the monsters. Right. So now they can come out from under the beds. They can boogeyman their way into the real world. And so he allegedly said, I love this new world. I no longer have to be politically correct. And she said, if he was proud of that, I can't help you. He called her a lazy, blood-sucking union employee.

She said, fuck you. He followed her to the office and grabbed her cooter. I guess that this is the crux, though. This is the thing that people are alleging, right, is that Trump has emboldened people to be awful, right? He said, you know, that's the narrative that we're hearing. There's been some evidence of upticks on hate crimes, upticks on things like that to match some of this. But it's hard, you know, because you want to be skeptic, right?

I want to be a skeptic, right? I have no idea that this happened. I don't want to... I picked it because we can make cougar-grabbing jokes. Absolutely. Oh, no, I get it. Let's not.

And union jokes. I mean, like, there's so much in this story. It's perfect. But I also want to be a skeptic, right? I genuinely want to be a skeptic and think, you know, is this stuff happening at the level that we think it's happening?

And are these people emboldened by Trump? Because I think that, you know, when you say something like that, you're calling for the operation of someone's mind that you don't really have. Right here. He's he's monologuing it, which is that is a part of it that gives me pause. Right. Because he's not a super villain right he's not on csi right you know he's like fine i did it i killed that bitch i always hated her right you know and just like okay well nobody takes the glasses off yeah and there's a

pinched vagina behind no but like like the thing is is, like who monologues like that? Right. Who does this sort of thing? And that, and, and so you see these, there's like a rise of, you know, a lot of people posting things like, like the woman who said that someone, the day after Trump got elected, grabbed the hijab off her head on a crowded train. Right. There was a woman who said something like this. It was a train or something like that. And then she came, they questioned her,

tried to find out what happened. And they eventually get to the fact that nothing happened, right? She lied about the whole thing. Do you know what this feels like? This feels like after Obama got elected and that pastor was like, some black people shot me. And then he shot himself.

Remember that? And he just was like, I want to blame it on random black people and he fucking shot himself in the bible or whoever yeah yeah oh yeah he shot himself with a through the bible or something like that or yeah and it didn't and then they investigated and like you shot yourself bro and you just blamed it on random black dudes yeah right it kind of has that same feeling of like i don't know man we scared. I get being scared and we're unsure. I get being unsure.

But if this isn't true, if it is true, horrible monster. The thing is, we already said that the video evidence sort of leads the police to believe that this actually happened. But the monologue, did that happen? Because this is saying this is the window into this guy's brain. The window into this guy's brain is saying I'm doing this because now it's okay to do and President Trump is making this okay. I don't know that I believe that someone says that. I have a hard time. I have no problem thinking that some creepy old man is going around pinching.

Not at all. Zero percent of me is like, yeah, fucking creepers be creepy. I can't wait until that some creepy old man is going around pinching. Not at all. Zero percent of me is like, yeah, fucking creepers be creepy. I can't wait until I'm that old. Let me tell you something, Alan. If America continues to reject the mercy of the Christian cross, America will live under the tyranny of the Islamic sword. This story is amazing. It's from freethinker.co.uk.

Monsignor Carlo Liberati. Monsignor. Monsignor Liberati. Monsignor Ravioli. I read that it's Carlo Liberati, and I immediately thought that makes sense because they all dress like Liberace. It's like they took their fashion

advice from that guy. Cardinal, soon we'll all be Muslims because of atheism. Wait, what? Hold on, though. Not just atheism, though. And paganism. And paganism. We will all turn Muslim because of

unassociated religious philosophies. Hold on, though. Because I want to mention something. So I just did a quick search just to see. Because, you know, I'm not familiar with paganism. I don't know anything about paganism. So I did a search to see what sort of observances are, right? Like, what's their holidays, right?

Yeah. And, you know, maybe he's not too far off. Okay. January 9th. All right. Festival of Isis. So maybe, maybe he's not. What do you have to do during the Festival of Isis?

You got to put your chicken in a little cage and drown it? Is that how that works? For your feast, you've got to throw a cow off a building? The lighting of the heretics? It's beautiful. It's beautiful. You decorate a Christmas tree with heads instead of ornaments?

You know, the bitch is tying their hair so it sticks on the tree. You sell your kids into slavery. Not your kids. White kids. I was looking through some of these. Festival of Ganesh. Yeah, all right.

Ganesh. Isn't that like, isn't that served on a pita? It's delicious. I think that is. I think it's a, it's like a potato dish. I thought it was a Jewish food. Like, ah, just a little Ganesh. Give me a Ganesh ganap. Just a Jewish food. Like, ah, just a little ganesh. Give me a ganesh ganop.

Just a little schmear ganesh. You know what I do like about this religion is look how many holidays there are. You never have to go to work. Oh, man. Every weekend. That's how often I like to work. Every fucking weekend there's a fucking holiday. They have a cake day on the 28th.

Cake day. It offers little cakes to gods. I love that holiday. They have a cake day on the 28th. Cake day. It offers little cakes to gods. I love that holiday. That sounds amazing. It's cupcakes for Jesus. No, but it's not Jesus. It's not. The thing is you don't have to stop with Jesus. It's cupcakes for like their whole

pantheon. And then you don't want them to go to waste because that's fucking dishonoring the cupcakes. That's rude. So you basically there's a holiday called on February 28th, I just eat cupcakes. I feel like I'm about to convert to a religion. There's a lot of great, I mean, but look at how many, you're right, how many fucking holidays there are, man. Yeah. Jesus.

I mean, there's one almost every day. There's a feast day. There's another feast day. There's a spring festival. There's a feast. There's feasts every other day. The 15th, there's two feast day. There's another feast day. There's a spring festival. There's a feast. There's feasts every other day. The 15th, there's two feasts. Feast of the Seas and Feast of Telus Mater.

Is there the Feast of Second Breakfast at 11 Seas? I know. These people are all hobbits. It's a hobbit religion. It's amazing. But I just looked this up and I thought, wow, what a, you know, how is he, how is he saying like, you know, atheists and pagans are compatible? Well, I have, I have literally no idea, but let me read what he said. So, so that, so that we're a hundred percent fair to senior Liberace or whatever his fucking

name is. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. He said in 10 years, we will all be Muslims because of our stupidity. 10 years? Italy and Europe live in a pagan and atheist way. They make laws that go against God, and they have traditions that are proper of paganism. I don't think that's even worded properly. All of this moral and religious decadence favors Islam.

And I thought, moral decadence favors Islam? Yeah, of all the religions. A religion that doesn't even allow music? Of all the religions, right? Hey, let's go out and have some fucking moral decadence. Oh, what do we do? Should we go drinking? No, we can't do that.

Should we go dancing? No, we can't do that. What can we do? Can we fraternize? Oh, fuck no. Oh, hell no. Hey, dude, let's get fucking wild and grow a beard. Oh, how you doing?

I'm bearding so hard, bro. Let's go out and hang out with other dudes. Right? You know, he lumps us all in the same boat, and you're like, okay, well, the atheists are the same as the pagans. It's like, look, I don't believe in only one of your god. I don't believe in any of their god. I know, I got the whole... Exponentially, I'm against pagans more than I am against you.

What, are you going to cry now? Come on, cry, baby. Cry for me. Come on. Cry. It's from the Friendly Atheist blog over at Patheos. After a comedian refers to communion as haunted bread. Haunted bread. Haunted bread.

Haunted bread is funny. Don't they proof communion wafers multiple times so that they can rise again? That's an aggressive baking joke. You have to know what proofing bread is to know that joke. You're like, you're doing the punching hands of celebration over there.

That's a patisserie joke yeah that's right that's right who proves their own bread motherfuckers uh so after comedian refers to communion as haunted bread priest files complaint with the irish government this is a priest by the way who is taking a man wearing a fucking stocking cap and a latex fucking weirdo mask. I don't even know what that is. I don't either. What it is, it looks like a torn up sack that he has paper mache to his face.

It's like it's tight on his face, like when a robber is going to rob a bank and he panty hoses his head. Hold on, though. But like offensive comments were made by david chambers like you know his name what is yeah but i guess that's that is that is yeah it's a shtick he goes by blind boy boat club and he's part of a comedy group called the rubber bandits boy boat club i don't know man his i will say cupcakes you could fit some in his hat i would say that that. A lot of them because he's got a pointy, pointy stocking cap. He's like a wizard. You know, maybe have a fucking sense of humor and maybe don't take the guy wearing a fucking rubber mask and a stocking cap all that seriously.

It hurt my feelings. No, it's even worse than that because the way he worded it, he says, isn't it time we paid attention to creating a clean environment for the soul, heart, and mind? Father McNamara. Can there be somebody more Irish than McNamara? Oh, Jesus. Asked parishioners, adding, It hurt me beyond words to see the Eucharist ridiculed on RTE's so-called flagship chat show. It hurt you beyond words.

I was stunned. Oh, my God. Be more fucking silent. show it hurts you beyond words i was stunned oh my god be more hurt and there is no scientist or doctor that can validate you can get anything out of the rectum other than then waste refuse and death there is no life jesus christ so they get all fucked up in australia at the moment this from Guardian. Marriage equality will lead to gender confusion, Australian Christian Lobby claims. Australian Christian Lobby. We just call that the Hobby Lobby, right?

Is that how they? So I guess the Australian Christian Lobby is not having a good day, mate. Sorry, I had to. That was terrible. That was terrible. I loved it. That was terrible. That was great.

All right. They got their fucking panties in a bunch because gay people might be able to get married. And for some reason, that makes them fucking all worked up. It's not just gay people, though, because they say marriage equality will increase gender confusion. That's the reason I grabbed this article. Because it undermines the complementarity of males and females. Clearly, they've never been in my house. There's not been any complementarity between the men and women in my house.

I seriously don't get it. You're just like, okay, have you guys ever had mouth or butt sex? Or even just like somebody give you a handy, like your hand can grab a cup. Oh, you're talking about the physical complementarity. I thought they were referring to like, like men and women are supposed to be together because babies or whatever. I thought that they say that too.

They say if marriage is a child centered institution, it reasonably follows that it is not a category of relationship that can reasonably apply to same sex relationships, which do not bear the possibility of producing children. I just reject your first premise. I mean, I just reject the you know, if it is this. Well, OK, it's not. Aren't you shitting on all the people in your congregation that aren't having kids or that can't have kids or that, you know? I mean, there's a lot of people who are religious. It's the thing that pushed my wife away from religion was being told that our

marriage isn't worth anything because we didn't have kids. Well, look, look how little sense that makes even internally, right? Because wouldn't the obligation, if the premise is true, right? Let's say you're a man and you are married to a woman and you are fertile and she's not, right? And if marriage is a child-centered institution, do you not then have an obligation say you're a man and you are married to a woman and you are fertile and she's not right and if marriage is a child-centered institution do you not then have an obligation to that institution to divorce your wife to kill her or murder her yeah options options absolutely murder may be less expensive to to oust her in some way i'm just saying definitively bail i fucking guarantee my bail wouldn't be as high as what i'm paying now yeah but and you don't even have to give her a nice funeral you know what i mean

i'll never find the body god if she turns up so they play this they play this the sten just typing it out, shaking their head. And I'm just like, it's a joke. Have you heard the rest of the fuck? It's a joke. The fuck is wrong with you? I'd be like, just sentence.

They're just like literally throwing books at me. Just fucking all the jail time. Every single person in there is just shaking their head. What the fuck is wrong with you? They would sentence me to life and they give me the life extension technology. me to life and they give me the life extension technology. But like, wouldn't you be obligated to leave your wife or destroy her in some way so that you could move on to another less barren? No, because if you strike her down, she becomes more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Duly noted. imagine duly noted or like what about second marriages we're like yeah is that like second breakfast i'll tell you when i get there or in trump's case, third marriages. Third marriages, right? You know, like, is every marriage obligated to produce offspring? If the marriage is not producing offspring, it's just like, ah, it's a less than product. Like, really? Of all the things I'm being judged for, this is the less than product?

Yeah. Have you always wanted to win the lottery? Do you suffer from chronic poverty syndrome? Do you have real problems that are too much work to actually work on? Would you rather pretend to help than actually help? Prayer might be right for you. This story comes from Christianity Today. Hundreds of prayer warriors descend on Washington to provide a prayer shield

for Donald Trump. Hold on, though. The marketing for this, they changed the name of this. Oh, they did? It's Tiny Hands Across America. They can't really grab them. They can't grab them very well. They don't have a good grip, those tiny hands.

Yeah, the little ones, the Little baby hands. I saw this and I was like, well, the fucking Secret Service can just relax because there's an invisible shield of magic power. Yeah, no shit. You can just fucking go get a fucking sandwich. Yeah, it's so funny because it's like, we put a prayer shield around him. Really? Should the security stop? No, we still want security. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you know why? Because your magic isn't real. Because if somebody shoots at him, you're going to be like, oh, ping, ping, ping. Get out my fucking magic bracelets or whatever you got. Nobody's doing that. They're like, fuck, die in front of it. You're not the fucking invisible woman throwing up force fields around people. That shit ain't fucking real.

It's not a thing. Yeah. And they know it's not a thing. They don't believe this. Yeah. I mean, the idea, there's tons of people who pray for people all the time. I mean, fucking, you know, you know who, who had a lot of prayer going for him? The Jones family that drank a bunch of cyanide.

Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Like there's a group of people that fucking had a ton of prayer. A thousand people prayed all the way to the end. Prayed all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they still drank cyanide. Yeah. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer. It's a prayer time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they still drank cyanide. Yeah. The prayer didn't fix anything. I mean, like, a whole bunch of people gathered together. Hoping. To make magic hope wishes to the sky. And then it's like, oh, man, what do we do against the magic hope wishes? Well, I don't know.

I'll just ignore them. Yeah. I'll just, like some assassins, like, I'm trying to load my gun but there's fucking hope stuck in it oh it's magical i can't load the gun is somebody praying stop praying i'm trying that's never happened you know how i know it's never happened because really nice people that a lot of people love sometimes get killed yeah it's just how the world works and get cancer and die even a lot of people pray for him right or they get a lot of likes on facebook too and that doesn't save them it doesn't like them. Not at all.

I like that kid without the hair. I love that fucking... Shared it all day. Look at that smiling, hairless boy. I'd click the fuck out of his Facebook page. I tagged six friends. I dumped some fucking ice water and shit all over me. Fucking rubs chocolate on my nipples or whatever the fucking thing is

that we're supposed to do for cancer kids. It's chocolate on your nipples, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? Is it?ing on your nipples, right? Yeah. No. That's just been for fun. I've been doing that superfluously. I don't know that anyone's having fun when that happens. I'll tell you what, at least I am.

It's frosty. I will say there's a lot of people praying for you to stop. So for adamandeve.com this time around, because people like to fuck on the 14th of February, Valentine's Day is a big deal at AdamandEve.com. And they are going to give the people who listen to this show that want a little extra something. They are going to give it to you for this Valentine's Day. They're going to give it to you so you can give it to her.

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so be sure to use the offer before Valentine's Day to get all this free stuff. This story comes from Right Wing Watch. This is Rick Joyner. Common core is treason and will absolutely destroy America. Treason. Common core. Hey, I'd like to think about math different

and then maybe we should test people. That is treason. Treason. Like, I have is treason treason like i've fucking treason i i genuinely is it just because it was a republican talking point that people are upset about it because i'm a core because i you're a parent right yeah your kids were in schools learning common core for sure yeah i know it was difficult for you as a parent to try to help them do it because you didn't do it yourself.

Right, different way to conceptualize things, for sure. Is it treasonous? I mean, like, I'm missing how this connects. No, it's, what this really strikes me as is a perfect example of how people completely lose their shit when something is just different and foreign, right?

It's that like, it's that old time. It's why this fits a Republican narrative better than it'll ever fit a Democratic narrative, right? Because there's an idea embedded in conservatism that we need to do things the way they were done before. Make America great again. Having said that, like, I think this idea of Common Core where we reconceptualize

the way that we teach, the way that we learn, the way that we come at mathematics and other concepts, because Common Core is more than just math, but it's almost always what they focus on because it feels the most foreign. The math part definitely feels weird. It makes your head feel a little funny. You're like, I'm thinking about stuff different.

Different is generally bad. And then they fucking blow their minds yeah so let's play a clip of this this is uh prophetic perspectives with rick joiner um beardy mcbitterson is going to talk about bitter santa claus he kind of looks like a santa from Stargate. He's so red. Common Core goes to a new level of evil. A new level of evil? Wait a minute. Having solved all the rest of the world's problems, right? We're not worried about ISIS.

We're like, you know, that doesn't go to a new level of evil. Good thing there's nobody going hungry right now. Good thing there's no homeless people. Good thing there's no battered women you know like common core is a new level of evil yeah really because it's a really low level that's the new we're actually trying to see how low a level of evil we can get what about if you had evil that contained no evil that would be common core it's one of the most evil i cannot imagine any sane person wanting that garbage taught to our kids why tell me why it's tell me why i want to know why maybe he's going to elucidate a clear and specific point

outlining the specific details of common core that he finds particularly objectionable i feel like that is what is coming next a prophetic prophecies or whatever the fuck the name of his show is. Prophets, prophecies of prophetizing. I would say this boldly. Okay. This is treason. It may be not intentional treason. Accidental treason.

No, they call that whoopsie treason. I done slipped in some treasons. What? Whoopsie treason is when you're like, yeah, Putin, why don't you sit on this briefing? That's a whoopsie treason, I guess. Yeah, you can come over to the house, the White House.

But its ultimate effect, impact will be to absolutely destroy America, make us incapable of competing or maybe even surviving in the world that comes what was going to happen to me well and and you know like let's let's let's be real fucking honest we were falling behind for a long time before common core ever came around the united states was lagging behind on all conceivable metrics of us being quote unquote leaders. Yeah, the best. Right.

We're the best. So much the best. You won't believe how much the best. Really? Can we measure it? Oh, yeah. We're not the best. We're not the best.

We're deeply, deeply not the best. We're definitively not. And we're not in a lot of different places, right? In a lot, like in science, in math, in all these places, all these places and you know fucking how about in fucking infant mortality yeah right we're not even the best in that we're not the best in well is that the is that the right way to say it infant mortality rates low infant mortality rates you don't want to be i don't want to be high infant mortality rates we don't want to be like yeah up around the liberia zone or the holoca zone. You want to stay away from those. God, the Holocaust zone.

That's by the troposphere. It's just the Holocaust zone. The guy who was to certify the math part of Common Core, when he looked at it, he said, any child that goes through this program is going to lose two years for every year they're in the program. They're going to go backwards.

That doesn't even make sense. You started first grade. Now you're what? In preschool? Then you go to the second grade and now you're behind. How? You don't even know.

You got to take some math classes. That is so true. Because if you lose two years for every single year, yeah, by year four years as I go. Yeah, you're just like, I actually have no brain function. This is a guy doing math poorly to bitch about math.

You can abort me and it's okay. You can just abort me. It's fine. I'm more cells, but I have the same brain function. We've talked about this. It's okay, Tom. We're allowed to kill those kids. Okay.

Allowed, yes. Encouraged. Depends on where you're from're it's the craziest thing you've ever seen it gets much worse what they teach in the through the sex education and everything else even the young kids it's abominable yeah they teach them how to not impregnate people or how to not be impregnated teach them to them to pinch pussies. Just give them a little. The girls love it when you pinch them. When you pinch real hard. Then kids, they know you like them. That's what it is.

You can pull their pigtails or pinch their pussy. You can tell that Billy likes you. Little Billy likes you because you left a welt on your cooter. Came through our federal department of education. We got a problem. We got a serious problem. We've got to address it.

Why'd you zoom the fuck up? I don't even know. We're just watching this video. Hang on, guys. We're watching this video. And they have the typical tight zoom that they would have of somebody sitting at a fucking fake news desk, right? So he's got this big fake news desk with like a fucking owl or something.

It's like a hawk or something. I don't know, man. It's like a hawk with a star. It's like the Death Star with like a falcon in something it's like a hawk or something i don't know man it's like a hawk with a star it's like the death star with like a like a falcon it is a death star it's a millennium falcon star wars guys make my shimble star wars it's taken rick joiner star wars is taken i want it to be star wars fuck you guys i want my sh want it to be Star Wars. Fuck you guys. I want my ship to be Star Wars.

All right. We'll put a Maltese Falcon and we'll make the Death Star kind of look like an anus. Is that okay? You know he's fucked that desk. You know he's been like, oh, no, that's a brown star. The brown stars, they don't have enough energy to, you know. To expel everybody. You know.

By the way, they zoomed out. That's what Tom was talking about. Tom didn't get to it, but he was going to say they zoomed out. They zoomed real out, and they did a cut. They did a jump cut out. That's what was weird. It was like we were in real close, all mushy up against up against his giant face and then bam you're just like across the room you're like wait a minute i thought we were i thought we were on second base like now

now suddenly you're asking me if if i could pay for half dinner and i don't know that i like this i'm so thankful i think we've got a president that understands that he took a stand against common core he took a stand against Common Core. He took a stand. He said, we're going to fix that Department of Education. We're going to fix it by fucking Betty DeVos. Yeah, well, you're going to put that. That lady's going to come riding a bear to work every day.

She better not. They'll shoot the bear. All the kids will jump out and shoot the bear. He's going to do something that will probably help fix it faster than anything else he can do. He's going to go to the voucher system. He's going to go to the voucher system. Yeah, that's awesome. That's an amazing system.

They should definitely do that voucher system because then we could have more government money going to churches, unregulated education for kids. That's what we should do. Because they knock it the fuck out of the park when they have the daycares. Right, and those kids just drown and die. And those kids just fucking be like, yeah, I got rolled up in carpet and sweat to death.

And you're like, wait, how does that happen? I don't know. Whatever, I threw a couple sandwiches in the carpet and the kid just died. I don't know what to tell you. And then they're like, well, can't you shut him down? They fucking killed kids. They're like, no, can't shut him down because they prayed about it.

Jesus for the season or something? It's a religious institution, so we always give him three days to see if the kid wakes up. Kids never woke up yet. It's weird. It hasn't happened yet, but we're pretty confident. We feel good about that. We keep rolling the rock against the cave door, hoping that he's... It just smells bad, and there actually is nothing.

Hey, look, it happened once. We're good scientists. We want to repeat the experiment. They call these kids control groups. They just chuck them in a pile called control. That's terrible. There's a pile of baby corpses with a big ring around it, the word Control in front of it.

Baby like, what the fuck? We finished The Biggest Secret. I didn't think we were going to do it. With David Icke. We were going to do two chapters, one each day, but what we decided was since it was only 10 pages, we would just finish the whole book. Dude, that's 10 pages of Icke.

That's like 100 pages of a real book. It's painful. But we're done. Well, and not in knowledge, just in useless information. It's painful. But we're done. And not in knowledge. Just in useless information. Yeah, absolutely. So, Tom, I know you have a lot more questions than I do. I do. I went a little crazy this time.

So why don't you give me a couple of yours and I'll read one of mine. Alright, Cecil. There is no us and them. There is only A. We and I. B. The king and I. C, madness and civilization.

That's a full-blown joke. D, crime and punishment. Or E, the best of times and the worst of times. I'll go with all literary references. Crazily, the answer is we and I. We and I. What does that even mean? I don't know.

All right, Cecil. This whole fucking chapter and the second chapter was all word salad. It was all Deepak Chopra-isms, all garbage. I loved it way better than the list. I will say I liked it a lot better than the list, too. Yeah, the 400 pages preceding this was terrible. It at least had interesting concepts that were all bullshit. Right, yes.

God is not apart from us. It is us and we are it. How do we know this? A. The Eucharist is a wafer, but then it's also flesh, but not just flesh, but the flesh of a guy whose flesh has either never

been found, disappeared to heaven, but comes back on Sundays to be eaten in little bites. Clearly, this is only possible if all things are energy. Is this still A? Including time and thoughts and space and distance, and we can manipulate and control energy with our minds so that wafers are then people. Is this still A? That's A. Oh, okay. I thought that was all the answers because I was going to say all of the above.

There we go. B. Because we and our reptilian overlords are all part of an infinite mind, and as an infinite mind we recognize that this must be an infinite jest. A book I'd rather have read. More literary references. You're not getting out of the park today.

C. Because of water droplets in the ocean or something. Oh, that's the one. That's it. D, because David Icke is channeling his inner Chopra now and just saying stupid shit hoping to sound profound. It really is D. It is. But it's actually C. It's actually C.

It's actually C. Water droplets or something. Water droplets, yep. Tom. Yes, sir. What does the Brotherhood do to control us? A, fill our water with fluoride, which makes us forget math. Yes, sir. What does the Brotherhood do to control us? A, fill our water with fluoride, which makes us forget math.

I love this book so much. B, used ELF transmitters, which allows Santa to mind control the toy workers union. True. Very true. C, have the evil medical organizations write hoax papers about the dangers of trepanning. Trepanning joke, man. D, use electromagnetivity, I made that word up, to make our chakras spin right round, baby, right round. Or E, all the above to some extent.

E, all of the above to some extent. It is all the above to some extent. I embellished it. to some extent. It is all of the above to some extent. I embellished it. Just a hair. Just a hair. For comedic effect. Sure. See, so why is fear worse than love? A.

Because fear activates less of our DNA antennas. Yes, DNA antennas. And there's a picture on page 475 with a few circles on it that shows us this. It's so true. It's just like wavy lines and circles. That's all it is. I thought it was a cross cut of lasagna. It's just DNA antennas.

Amino acids are DNA antennas, he says. B, because fear just sucks, and we all just know that. Anyone who needs a diagram of imaginary wavelengths to figure that out should have their fucking head examined. C, because love feels good except when it doesn't but even then it's better than fear which always feels bad so i guess in aggregate yeah this is a stupid question or d the jews it's always the jews people say cattle mutilations have to be done oh my god by extraterrestrials because we don't have the tools to do this. That's why!

David disputes this, though, by saying, A. We have hammers. Duh. Lasers. B. We've had the technology since the 50s

when the government started mining adamantium and started the Weapon X program. C. Literally all things are possible with your mind. Just think it the right way, and the cows explode like a popular mechanic schematic. Nice. Or D, Henry Kissinger is actually a reptilian time-traveling samurai. One of those is right.

It's lasers. It's lasers. It's handheld lasers. We've had them since the 70s or something, he said. Who needs more love than anyone? A, Guantanamo Bay. That's true. B, those reptiles stuck in a star thing floating around in space with bad attitudes.

C, the Grinch. D, Donald Trump's current wife who has to wake up and see Donald Trump. Because can you imagine what that looks like in the morning? Can you see something? No. Space reptiles with bad attitudes? That's what it is. Alright, you have a couple

more for the next chapter. I do, I do. Moving on. According to David Icke, we choose where and when we are born. Which means what, exactly? A. That there is a we, or us, that exists before we are born, that makes conscious choices about who and when and what we are. B. That knowing the above, some people still choose to be born in Indiana. C. No, that it gets worse.

That that kid, born into poverty and starvation, doomed to a life of pain and suffering, and ultimately resigned to the horrors of a painful third world demise. Yeah, they fucking chose that. D. All of the above. Or E. The Jews. The Jews. The Jews. It's always the Jews.

Tom, there's a three-step process to fixing everything. Oh my God, The three steps. What are the three steps? A, wash, rinse, repeat. That does work often. B. Cold water. Step one, human trafficking.

Step two, illegal prostitution ring. Step three, profit, the Andy Wilson story. Nice! Nicely done! Yes! C, foreplay, premature ejaculation, cuddle. Also known as the Eli Bosnick story. And D, let go of fear.

Allow others to do the same. Don't impose your will on them. It's the Eli Bosnick story. He skips the foreplay. That's what Adam says. All right, Cecil. A whole bunch of shit depends on the planet's cycle. Why is this important? A.

It explains red tides. B. It's so much more obvious why sometimes we fuck the world and sometimes the world fucks us. C. Something about the moon or Gaia or energy fields or maybe a chakra.

D. The Jews. It's C. All right, Tom. It's a tournament of chivalry at the Queen Mother Brotherhood's reptile castle in Fair England. All the knights of the blood orange or whatever the fuck are having a courtly tournament to find out who is the most worthy combatant. Winner gets to, gets to eat the aged gallbladder of princess. Who wins a sir?

Henry Kissinger pre fight pre fight. He bathes in virgin blood and he doesn't even cut him. Nice. Think about it. B the mountain. See game of Thrones. Kickback Dame, Judy Dench, bitch be tripping, Game of Thrones kickback. Dame Judi Dench, bitch be tripping, yo.

Or D, Sir George Bush. He's not that great a fighter, but Dick Cheney, Ryan Shotgun. Oh, these are great answers. These are great answers. What's in there? There's no answer. I made all that up. I literally made it all up.

I love the whole thing. I don't even know. See, so reptilians and Christian gun nuts are not opposites. What are they? A, opossums. B, awesome. C, opposames. D, Jews.

All right, so I'm going to read. The answer is ApoSames. So I'm going to read this last summary. All right. This is for chapter 21. Pardon me. This is for chapter 20 and 21. This is where Ike wraps it all up.

He talks about flower power, everything is love, humanity living out of sync with the universe, how opening your heart and your mind will change everything and all the other shit you talk about when you have your first joint ike also warns that some serious shit is about to go down in 2012 look out by 2013 there will be more transformations of consciousness than all previous cycles put together, whatever that metric means. As this wraps up David Icke's book, I will leave you with one final thought.

Oh, good. Thinking the unthinkable will become a way of life for those that grasp an opportunity to reconnect with all that exists. I'm going to hit you. I read that line three times and i was like this could be the very best line it is a great i'm gonna get that tattooed on my stomach and there's not enough room my stomach's big something my stomach's real big there's plenty of room you could they could sky write it on my stomach so that wraps up david ike's book uh now you guys know the biggest secret it's not a secret everybody everybody knows really we're probably gonna get reptile reptile

queen mother of windsor that that controls and mutilates things i mean we really kind of i mean this this whole thing could be a pamphlet a very very short pamphlet where you'd open it up and it's just David Icke in a fucking, what's that? What's that? Straight jacket. He's just in a straight jacket. I thought you were holding yourself. He was cold.

Like what? Is that Antarctica? No. You know, the, the thing is, is like the book, the book should be, the book should be this big if it had actual sources in it, right? If it actually had all this stuff like, hey, man, here's a fucking this and this. I mean, I don't know how you prove any of the stuff he even mentions. But let's just say having all those sources, it would need to be that big.

But if it's just Bill said so. Yeah, well, no, Credo. Yeah, Credo said it. Well, there was a couple of names that I didn't recognize in this chapter that I must have skimmed over before. Oh, how could I blame you for skimming some of these? This is a Herculean task. So that wraps it up for this particular book. Now, we're considering doing more books.

If you thought this was a fun segment, if you thought you had fun listening to it, you thought the quizzes were fun, how we handled it, let us know. Send us a message, dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. And let us know if you liked this segment. If you thought this segment was good, let us know. We'd like to maybe do another book. We're going to take a couple weeks off because we're going to have some authors on and we're going to be reading some books specifically for those shows. But we will be hopefully coming back to a different book. We may be polling soon to decide what that book is, but we don't want to do a segment that people aren't enjoying. So if you're not enjoying it, let us know.

But if you are enjoying it, please let us know. Please let us know if you think it's funny. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So Cecil, this story comes from the Raw Story.

OB-GYN Dr. Blass Gwyneth Paltrow for claiming jade eggs in your vagina are a good idea. So Gwyneth Paltrow's got a magazine called Goop, which is basically what's going to be flowing out of your vagina if you stick a bunch of foreign objects into it and fucking hold them there long enough. She's got this goop magazine, and in goop, she suggested that you fucking stick a rock in your pussy and walk around. So, Cecil, this actually reminds me of a recent Christmas offering by Nordstrom. Oh, Christmas.

Were they the cook? Oh, no, that's Neiman Marcus. Anyway, forget it. So they were recently selling and sold out, by the way, just like Gwyneth Paltrow sold out. Now, she sold out of pussy rocks. Pussy rocks. And they sold out of rocks in a bag. Wait a second.

So you can get pussy rocks. Or pussy stones. I don't know. You can get moon rocks. Yeah. Can I take a spaceship to pussy? Is there a way to get there? I feel like if you need to get to pussy, there's easier ways than a spaceship. pussy? Is there a way to get there?

I feel like if you need to get to pussy, there's easier ways than a spaceship. Not for me, actually. So they got vagina rocks, pussy stones. Nobody would let me board that spaceship without going through the rigorous astronaut training program. It's necessary. Nobody's going to let you go through rigorous astronaut training program. It's necessary. Nobody's going to let you go through the astronaut training program. But if they just see you, they're just like, no, no, fail. You have to hold your breath for three minutes. He fails out.

Can you breathe without a snorkel? Because if you can't breathe without a snorkel. Did you say gash gravel? Is what you said is that one of them gash gravel is good i like that gash gravel is better than than than cunt gravel gravel i don't like that yeah no trying to think of other words for anyway you were saying yeah so yeah so the advice was to stick a fucking rock up your junk and just walk around um and this i don't know if this is before or after you steam the clam because she also So, yeah, so the advice was to stick a fucking rock up your junk and just walk around. I don't know if this is before or after you steamed the clam, because she also recommended that earlier. Well, if you do, then the pearl comes out.

Then you got to put it back in? You know, it says here, it says the endorsement justifies the use of jade eggs because queens and concubines use them to stay in shape for emperors. And god emperors have tiny little hands. So they actually can't pluck the egg out of there. It's like when you can take the rock from my hand and you are the master. Can you take the jade egg from my pussy? You'll be a little wetter than before. I don't know.

I guess you got to work out your fucking snatch or something. Like, that's like what you got to do. Like, you can't fucking omelet without breaking a few eggs. Like, what else are they going to recommend next? It's like a fucking stick of pine going up there. It'll be ribbed for his pleasure. Like, what the fuck? Like, why isn't a pussy just good enough on its own?

Why do you have to turn your hoo-ha into an ovipositor why is that this is weird it seems like i mean every time i'm fucking up in there i'm just like well i guess if there would be better if there was a fucking rock up in this thing i mean no it's to make the it's to make it strong right it's to make it strong it's not gonna be fucking weightlifting like what is what is that thing going to do? It's just got to fucking accept it begrudgingly. You put it in there, and you come out with an innie. You're just like, Jesus, what happened to this thing?

I clamped it right off. Good Lord. The fuck? It's like all flat, like cartoon flat. Like, you turn it sideways, and it's like this big. It's girthy, but then when you turn it this way, it's completely flat. It's like a grouper now. i feel like that thing should wrestle me right what is happening down there exactly it's a lot like at some point it's like you've got a lot more control over that thing that i'm comfortable with this article is really great actually yeah it's like a prehensile pussy

actually actually if she gets good enough with it's like a potato gun pencil pussy. She could hang from a tree. Actually, if she gets good enough with it, it's like a potato gun. You put it up. She's firing t-shirts out of that thing. She gets all the way to the back bleachers. Those t-shirts smell funny. I'm keeping it.

Mo, that's my sniffing shirt oh you done washed it so uh so i want to read this is a part of the article this is part of the raw story article which i thought was great a major a major warning dr gunter attacked paltrow's store for that's a terribly worded sentence, by the way, is the idea that a woman should sleep with the jade egg inside of her because jade is porous and can introduce dangerous bacteria into the vagina,

which could act like fomite, kind of like smallpox blankets stuck inside your vagina. When you do that, though, the natives are all happy. They're like, thank you. That's awesome. I'll give you this jade egg for your smallpox blanket. They trade baubles

for your smallpox blanket. I bought New York with three of these things. You give it to your wife, you're like, yeah, it's the Louisiana Purchase. Smells like crawdads. What is that, gumbo? Bubba Gump brand jade eggs. What is this?

What do you use to do? Is that gumbo filet? What is that, gumbo? Bubba Gump brand jade eggs. What is this? What do you use to do? Is that gumbo filet? What is that? I'm not tasting something. Is that thickener down there? What thickening agent are you using? It's like a roux. Oh, it's pus.

Okay, forget it. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, it looks like roux, but... You're fucking sticking a porous rock up your fucking hoo-ha. That's why I recommend Corian. You don't have to seal it. It doesn't stain as easily if things get a little weird.

Yeah, and it could get real hot. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You could set a hot pan right up. It's an oven mitt. Who's doing... They sold out of these things. I know. There's all these women like, It's an oven mitt. They sold out of these things. I know.

There's all these women like, well, I done read a goop that I just take a rock up my pussy. But not just any old rock. I got to buy a special pussy rock. I can't just. No, no ordinary river rock will do for my pussy. I got me a fancy cunt. I got to get a Gwyneth Paltrow approved pussy rock. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Well, when it's halfway out, you kind of look like you're vajazzled. Tom, we want to thank our recent patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We ran into a ton of patrons. We did. At the meetup that was after the live show. It was really great to get a chance to meet people and talk to people and we really just, that was a lot of

fun, but getting a chance to meet people who fund the show was really cool. It is. It's really great to meet our patrons in person. It was really great. So I would like to thank, of course, all of our most recent patrons, Trixie, Vinny the Vegan. That's gross. Trump loves wee-wee from my pee-pee.

That's not confirmed. Tom in Colorado. The PSVR Life Podcast. Russell's Lonely Little Teacup. I like that. Crafty. George. You guys fucking rock. No, you

rock. I'm Rick James, bitch. Shane. Horatio the Baked Atheist holden thanks so much thank you for your generous donations we really do truly appreciate it and live stream you guys can check out the live stream that happened if you did not watch us live you can check it out on uh on live stream forward slash dissonance pod. Or you can go to YouTube and check out the livestream that happened after the inauguration.

That is purely because patrons were able to give us money so we can help set the studio up with video. And there's no way that that could have happened without patron support. So thank you very much. So we got a message from Skeptic Sarah. And she gave us us a link we'll put it on this week's show notes it's a link to the data refuse refuge project which basically in short is just a way to back up scientific information about climate change because there are hostile people to uh to the idea of climate change and there may be some servers that get shut down the idea that we have to hide our data hide the data we're playing hide the data right now it's not the game i want to play it's not at

all so we got a great message um this is from uh and Adrian sent this in and it's a it's David Ike interviewed on art by Art Bell. We may actually take some of these quotes, some of this longer bits of quotes and do a patron only show with this. So it's actually a really great idea to take a look at some of the David Ike stuff that he said. I know that there's other places we could find David Ike, but a David Icke patron-only show might be a lot of fun. It might be a lot of fun. We should do that. Someone by the name of Pattycake Rex sent us a message, and they were talking about a person by the name of Mark Levin, or Levine, I don't know how to say his name.

But I've listened to him before. I've heard him before. His voice is just, it goes right through me. It's an irritating voice. It really goes right through me. But we might look into some of his stuff, too. There's a great long email that Patty Cake Rex included. So thank you for all the videos that you sent us.

We got a message, and this person didn't leave their name. They just left an email address, which I'm not going to read. But they said that they are thinking about starting a podcast podcast and there's a couple of things that worry them. Um, the first is they're not out to their religious family. So they're an atheist and they're not out to their religious family. And they're also worried about, uh, possibly people finding out that they do it at their workplace. And they said that they know that I work with people that are in education and are sometimes religious. So how do you do it?

I just don't mention my podcast. Like it's super easy. It's very easy not to mention your podcast. Actually, the easiest thing you can ever do is to get people to not listen to your show. That really is super easy. We're fighting uphill all the time in the other direction. Yeah, exactly.

The easiest thing you'll ever do is to get people uninterested in your podcast. They start out uninterested in your podcast. There's 7 billion people who don't listen to our show. There's 7 billion people that don't care whether we live or die already. Exactly. So that is actually, I just never mention it. I never mention it to anybody. Now, I'm an out atheist at work, but I never mentioned that i have a podcast no no i mean i would never because

i don't think any of them would enjoy it i wouldn't i don't think anybody would listen to it so i don't ever mention it um but uh but yeah i i think that that's probably your best bet if you're going to do it um especially if you're not out to your family and such just don't ever mention it um and you know be real careful about who shares it and who tags you and stuff you know what i mean like you want to be real careful about yeah you'll have to manage your social media yeah your personal page yeah you know but that's not hard either you just you have a personal page it's personal and you have a show page and you don't let the two intermingle i have a hard time with that because i i still have a hard i still have a personal page that people friend me on on

facebook and i try to friend only people that i've met so if i've met you at like a con or something and you send me a friend request i will look through and be like oh yeah i met that person or whatever but but if i haven't met the people i normally don't friend them because i wind up with everybody all the time because i do i do like uh kind of like uh sca sort of cosplay stuff right where you get dressed up in like an old timey outfit because they think they have a rapport with me. They just come in and they just assault me

on my personal page. And so I wind up deleting comments and sending people, I ban people. I'm like, get away. I don't want to talk to you. But it's weird because you have to really have to manage your social media. I don't know how Eli does it

with having personal stuff on there. I would be very nervous um to just friend every single person yeah i don't typically allow the two to intermingle so i don't typically take friend requests on my personal page yeah so uh we got a message from ryan and ryan sent in a message about uh this girl she's a 24-year-old female, former middle school teacher, was charged with sleeping with a 13-year-old male student almost every day for nine months. And she was sentenced to 10 years and supposedly eligible for parole or for probation after five years. And I think this message is sort of like hey you know what about the what's the

disparity here because if these roles were reversed and it was a male that was 24 and a 13 year old female right that's a i mean people would be like you're a pedophile you're just you're just straight up a pedophile that's it's disgusting right they would throw the book at him the guy would get tons of years but if it if the roles reversed, very often this is – I mean it's almost like they're high-fiving the 13-year-old kid. Yeah, and then they – it's interesting because they slept together. I shouldn't say slept together. They didn't sleep together. She abused him.

She sexually assaulted this boy almost every day for nine months. If some dude sexually assaulted a 13-year-old girl every day for nine months, if some dude sexually assaulted a 13 year old girl every day for nine months they would throw the fucking book at him he'd be called you know a sexual predator of the highest order right and he'd almost certainly get a maximum sentence i mean this it just but there is definitely a gender disparity there you know that's that's it's fucking weird yeah it's just fucking weird and i don't know what else to say about except for that it's just fucking weird and it's gotta't know what else to say about it except for that it's just fucking weird. And it's got to stop.

And you said something interesting while before we were recording. You said a lot of times people will look and see if she's pretty. Yeah. Yeah. As if her attractiveness ameliorates the crime in some way. Right. Right. Because, like, nobody does that if, again, if the gender roles are reversed and it's some fucking good-looking dude and it's like, oh, I'm a fucking handsome man, so that's why I fucked the 13-year-old.

It's like that doesn't mean anything. Right. But all of a sudden because – and I think because there's an assumed directionality to sexual desire, right? And the directionality is assumed to go male to female, right? Men desire women, not vice versa. And women receive desire. I think there's an assumed sort of social construct that is generally based around there. Notice I'm using lots of big terms like assumed and general, right? So please don't, I understand that women have sexual desire as well. Please understand what I'm getting at here. Don't fight me on this, people. There is that social construct, right?

That sexual desire tends to have a directionality to it. And so it's viewed in that general direction, right? With the male to female direction. And so you see this and it's like you were saying, like people high five, like, I had a fucked up teacher too when I was 13. And it's like, yeah, but you still

wouldn't have been old enough to consent you still wouldn't have understood the emotional and psychological and physical ramifications of possibly having a baby at that age exactly yeah like we protect women more than we protect men in some ways in this circumstance in this circumstance it feels like we protect and i'm not saying and but it's weird though too because then there's this other thing that happens in in that that very often happens which is the doubting of rape right sure in the same system in the same court system yeah there's this level of doubt of rape and i wonder how those two things. Yeah. What? You know, it seems like there's cognitive dissonance there in some ways. I'm not sure. You know, it's almost like America can't figure out how to behave around sex.

Yeah, really? We just have really just so confused by it. We're like, we know we like it and we're not supposed to feel weird. And my pants are tight again. We don't know what to do with any of this. We got a message from Elizabeth from South Africa, and she sent a long message. But one of the things I want to talk about is Elizabeth says that around the 230s, someone sent in a message and said, hey, you know, I'm listening in the past and things got better. Right. For LGBTQ people.

It's like as as time went on, things started getting better. They started getting better. And so this person was listening in the past saying, you know, guys, I wish I could go back in time and send you a message and say, man, it gets better. And then Elizabeth's like, yeah, but now Trump's going to be president. So now there's this other thing.

The pendulum has swung. It's like, oh, yeah, it was better. Was. Now it gets worse again. Murky sending this awesome photo. I love it. The question is, if God did exist, what would you ask? And I guess it's, what would you ask God?

And so there's a question scrawled on this sign. We'll put it on this week's show notes. You can check out the image. It's what would you ask God? And so there's a question scrawled on this sign. We'll put it on this week's show notes. You can check out the image. It's hilarious. There's a bunch of protests scheduled for Saturday and for tomorrow for the inauguration. We hope they all go down safely. Peacefully. Peacefully.

Let's be peaceful. And not only peaceful. I hope that all the people, because they're not going to hear this until the time, until it's afterwards. I hope that they were peaceful in their protests and I hope that there was no anti-protests that got violent too. I hope everybody just said hey man, we're just here. We're not going

anywhere. We have a right in this country on any side of any issue to peacefully assemble. That is as fundamental a right to our liberty as guns, as free speech, as any of the other things we all hold dear except for the guns i don't hold that as dear but you know what i mean and we cannot allow that right to be uh trampled on by a bunch of assholes in either direction we got a message from ted and

ted was talking about the x-ray machine that we were talking about killing people with x-rays. And Ted says that a high-end x-ray tube of 600 kV costing 250 k plus new requires a coolant system, usually liquid, that is about the same volume of a Ford Taurus engine coolant system. He also needs 600,000 volts of power. And I thought, like, my God, he needs 1.21 gigawatts. Like, he may as well build a time machine.

Or a mini reactor. So thanks, Ted. But there's a bunch of stuff in here that Ted wrote about all the shit you would need to fucking make a possible X-ray machine. So this is going to wrap it up for this week. We hope everything went well with the live stream. We encourage you to go listen to the Gamcast that we guested on stage for. We thought it turned out good. So check out this week's show notes if you need a link to that.

And that's going to be it. So the next time we record, Tom. Yes, indeed. Trump America. next time we record, Tom. Yes, indeed. Trump America. Well, guys, just when you see that big flash in the sky, think of us.

Yeah. You won't be thinking of anything for very long because the big X-ray machine from the sky is coming and it's a lot more than 1.21 gigawatts. And it doesn't need fucking Doc Brown to make it run. There won't be a cooling system. But somebody with crazy hair will blow us all up. That's going to wrap it up for this week, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue.

It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody.

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