Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 342: Dan Arel - Secular Activist
Episode Date: February 6, 2017Thanks to Dan for coming on the show! You can find Dan's blog Danthropology, on Patheos You can also follow him on twitter at @danarel  Stories covered in episode:   ...
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Hey guys, back in November, December, when I was wearing all black because of the election results,
I was wondering what to do and you guys said, do whatever you can.
If you can go to the Women's March, go.
And I had just gotten a Facebook request saying, hey, we're going to try to fill a second bus from the west side of Cleveland.
You know, if enough people sign up, we can fill it.
And I said, what the heck are they marching about?
They don't even have an agenda, whatever.
And you guys said, yeah, go if you can.
I thought, shit, I'll pay the $75.
And I was number one on the second bus from the west side of Cleveland.
Well, we filled that second bus.
We filled three buses.
We filled five buses from Cleveland.
We went to Washington, D.C., and I marched with all those nasty women.
There were so many people there.
They had reversed the direction of the march
because it was too crowded
and there was so much crap left over
from the inauguration.
I marched. I'm glad I did.
I'm going to do marching again Friday.
I would have met at the airport
or sent my grandbaby.
She was marching in Cleveland
with both her mom and her dad and my daughter.
So everybody that's always marching,
we're all going.
Thanks for the push.
Bye. Born a whole motherfucker. Hey, we're all going. Thanks for the push. Bye.
Born a whole motherfucker.
Hey, Tom and Cecil.
So in these dark times, I thought I'd treat myself to something special.
So I just ordered myself a brand new giant dildo with the discount you guys gave me.
I'm super excited and I will try desperately not to think about you guys when
I use it. But if I do, I can just think we're going to need a bigger glory hole.
Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.
The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance
every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking,
skepticism, and irreverence
to any topic that makes the news,
makes it big, or makes us
mad. It's skeptical.
It's political.
And there is no
welcome mat. This is episode 342.
And it's
kind of nice that this one ends in a two,
because this is the second time we've tried to do this.
This is the episode where we actually have
Dan Errol on our show.
Dan, welcome.
Did you guys make sure you're recording this time?
That hurts my heart space.
What's Gus?
Man. We did record last time.
It just didn't like you.
That happens.
You know that thing
where somebody's like,
oh man,
and then the audio
didn't get recorded.
That means we did
a terrible job.
Dave Irwin must have got to you.
Yeah, he used all of his influence
on me.
So Dan, thanks so much for joining us for the second time.
We really appreciate the 30 minutes you spent getting set up to be on our show this evening.
Look, I bill by the hour, so I'm fine.
So we only have 30 minutes left.
All right, good.
Okay.
Yeah.
I can finish twice.
I know.
How do you know?
You're already done.
You're smoking a cigarette right now.
All right.
So, Dan, you are the author of the Danthropology blog, which can be found on the Patheos site.
And there's a couple of stories I wanted to talk to you about.
The two most recent stories as of the time that we're recording, both from February the 2nd.
Donald Trump vowed to destroy the separation of church and state.
So this is an article referring to the repeal of the Johnson Act, right?
That's correct.
So why don't you walk us through this a little bit?
What does the big cheetah want to accomplish here?
Well, he had mentioned this on the campaign trail as well.
And so what he's looking to do is by repealing the Johnson Act, he allows churches to politic from the pulpit.
So hold on.
How are they prohibited right now?
So if I'm a church and I can get up, I'm a pastor or a priest or whatever.
I mean, they do it all the time, right?
I mean, they stand up there and they do it all the time.
So how are they prohibited both by law?
And then I really want to know, like, do you think that they're actually prohibited in practice right now?
Because I think those are two really different considerations.
They're very different. So by law, the Johnson Amendment, and this applies to all nonprofits,
including churches, can't endorse political candidates or even in bills. So they can support the idea of a bill. So they
can say, we support open immigration, but they can't say, go vote yes on five. They cannot say
that. They can make a position known, but they can't say, vote for this. And then they can't
stand up there and say, you should vote for Hillary Clinton or you should vote for Donald Trump. And one church even got in trouble during this election. Well,
got in trouble. I'll air quotes there because they told people not to vote for either.
And even that's a violation. So, so yeah. And so, okay, you violate the Johnson amendment.
Forgive me. I called it an act earlier. You violate the Johnson amendment. And so here's
how I understand it. And please correct me where I'm wrong. If I, I called it an act earlier. Violate the Johnson Amendment. And so here's how I understand it.
Please correct me where I'm wrong.
If I am a church and I violate the Johnson Amendment, nothing at all happens to me in practice.
Nobody does shit.
Nobody says shit.
Nothing actually happens.
This is a lip service amendment in practice.
Am I mistaken about that?
service amendment in practice. Am I mistaken about that? You're not because the IRS fired the person, the one single person who was in charge of overseeing all churches in this,
lost, got fired. One person. There was one person? One person. They've lost their job
and it's never been replaced. What do they lose it for? Trying to enforce the Johnson Amendment?
I mean, like, can you imagine if that's your job
and you never did any? Why would
you even have the job? Hey, Bill, what are you going to do?
Well, they won't let me do it.
Huh? So you're going to
spend all day doing that? So what would you say
you do here?
And so, yeah,
so, like, you know, Freedom From Religion Foundation sued the
IRS over this. The whole,
you know, they're not being a person there to enforce it.
And they've swore to play nice now and hire somebody, but that's probably all going to change now.
Did they lose the lawsuit?
The IRS lost the lawsuit, or they at least settled.
They said, no, look, we're going to put somebody in that position and we're going to start holding churches accountable. But they have not as of yet, as far as I know.
And now that Trump's put a freeze on hiring all federal employees, they won't be.
So what difference does it make if this gets, I mean, and I, and I, and believe me,
I think there should be the Johnson amendment. Right. But I think that's only meaningful to
have laws if laws are enforced. Right? There's all the crazy like,
you can't fucking step on a donkey in a bathtub laws and all those ye olde crazy laws that don't
mean anything. And they don't mean anything because they're not enforced, right? So a law
without enforcement is just words on a piece of paper that nobody gives a shit about. Is the
Johnson Amendment nothing more than words on a piece of paper we shouldn't care about?
Not necessarily because a lot of churches do still follow it because they see the benefit of it existing and
they understand that if the johnson amendment left and churches could could politic all they wanted
including them that that opens the door to losing taxism status and it only loses the door if they
hire a guy to close the door. If they never hire a guy
to close the door. Or if someone like Trump is replaced down the line and a Democrat comes in
and says, wow, well, if we're doing this and they don't accept the Johnson Amendment coming back,
they just say, okay, great. Well, we're going to start taxing churches.
And I think a lot of churches want to play by the legal rules. They're not trying to
by the legal rules. They're not trying to skirt the law. And it's the ones that are,
that are the most dangerous. And once they have no reason at all to not do it, because I'm going to assume a lot of churches don't know that they could do it and not get in trouble. You know,
your small town church somewhere that keeps out of politics because they can't, might not even know
that the IRS isn't going to come after them. So let's keep it that way. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I work for a 501c3 company right now
and they send out memos every time there is a there is an election season and they talk about
they say, look, here's the things you can do and here's what you can't do. And every year we have to take a compliance exam that tells us whether or not certain things specifically
that relate to political campaigns, whether or not we can do them. Like we can't make flyers
for a political campaign. We can't have it in our building. We can't house it. Those sorts of
things like political campaign. I know that there's a lot of organizations that are similar to mine that do the same thing, right?
They go out of their way to say, hey, look, we really need to follow these regulations.
But the moment that these get taken away, it's not just churches.
It's all charities, right?
It would be everything.
It would be any 501c3.
would be everything. It would be any 501c3. And the thing is, is that when you're talking about all charities, it becomes scarier because across the board, a non-church 501c3 is heavily regulated.
If they start pushing politics, there's a team at the IRS that can take them down and revoke their
nonprofit status. So they actually have to be afraid. So that's why they are so careful about it.
They'll tell you,
you know,
don't use our computer at work to even post about politics on your own
personal Facebook page because they can lose their status over their
equipment being used.
So there's a whole team of people that are watching,
you know,
these charity organizations and there's zero people watching the churches.
Correct. And there's a fucking million goddamn churches. Well, zero people watching the churches? Correct.
And there's a fucking million goddamn churches.
Well, God's watching the church.
You know what, Dan?
I know we had a hard time getting on,
but you can go ahead and drop your mic right now.
You know, one of the things too, though,
you got to think about too, Tom,
it's really interesting.
These other charities,
they're not trying to express an ideology to people. They're just looking for money. Yeah, right. The churches are actually
trying to express certain ideologies to people, and they're the ones that are less regulated.
That's crazy to me. But this also follows what Sean Faircloth said years ago, where,
you know, when you talk about daycares, when they're religious, they're less regulated. Schools that are religious are less regulated.
And here's another perfect example, less regulation when it comes to churches.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, churches just walk free around here. They,
they break the law at the, as they wish and very, very rarely ever pay a consequence for it.
All right. So how likely is this going to get repealed? How likely do you think,
what are your, what are your thoughts? Is this going to happen? Are we going to be short one
Johnson Amendment in the next six months? Well, how big is my Johnson going to be?
I'm going to guess probably not. I don't think the majority
is large enough to swing it completely because I don't think there's enough.
Is it bigger than a baby's arm?
We do know that we're now talking about swinging my Johnson. enough. Is it bigger than a baby's arm? The Johnson Amendment?
We do know that we're now talking about swinging my Johnson.
So
the majority, there's
not enough to swing around. That's the problem.
Yeah, the Johnson's not big enough
to hit all the Republicans.
All the Republicans,
they can't drink from the fire hose.
Look, there's a reason it's an elephant right now.
Oh God.
All right.
Well, that was terrible.
Let's switch to another story from your blog.
This is also from today.
Reuters tells reporters to prepare for physical threats and to cover Trump as an authoritarian.
I'm going to sound crazy here, but I'm thrilled, actually, with this Reuters news agency statement that came out.
The reason I'm thrilled, and I want to read from this specifically, is that the purpose of the statement released by Reuters to its reporters is basically to say in a nutshell that we're not going to get any cooperation here.
And if we're not going to get any cooperation here, we need to actually start doing some goddamn reporting for a change of pace. And I read that and I thought,
well, good enough of the spoon feeding fucking bullshit where you show up and you say,
tell me what to write. Give me your press release, spin it for me, and I'll just
recopy it. The Reuters statement here is like, hey, let's go out and do what we do.
Let's be reporters. Let's dig in. Let's be investigative. Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. And secondly, it's finally a
news organization taking an honest look at what they're dealing with because they're comparing
it to the real world. So they're saying they're cracked down on the press, the way they're
treating the press, the way they talk about the press is the same that we see in China or Yemen and other places like that, that everyone openly says, oh, these are authoritarian.
And Reuters is saying that's what we're seeing now.
So buckle in and get to work.
What's their strategy?
What do they do differently?
I think they're going to have to go to sources that aren't... Not Spencer.
That's the other... That's the Nazi.
Spicer.
Spicer. It's so hard to
keep these Nazis straight.
Well, one
has a black eye and one does
not have a black eye. Right?
Yeah.
So, you know,
like you said before, you used to show up at a presser and they would tell you
what to say, and then you would go back and write it and maybe put a little bit of spin on whatever,
you know, direction your publication swings in, or now they're going to have to get,
they're going to have to, you know, get some inside sources. They're going to have to talk
to people that are willing to risk their jobs to, you know, kind of leak this information.
We're already seeing it.
And I think that that's they're going to have a lot of a harder job than they're used to.
And they're going to have to be more prepared to be told that they can't go in the White House and not be afraid to lose that sort of position to report on what's actually happening. So I want to read from the Reuters release, the release to its price.
It said, quote, give up on handouts and worry less about official access.
They were never all that valuable anyway.
Our coverage of Iran has been outstanding and we have virtually no official access.
What we have are sources.
Get out into the country and learn more about how people live, what they think, what helps and hurts them, and how the government and its actions appear to them and not to us.
And I saw that and I thought, yeah, go be fucking reporters.
Like, go be fucking reporters.
Don't just stand there in the fucking aisle and be like, I don't know what to say.
Just tell me what to say and I'll write it down.
I wrote down what you told me.
Like, I think this is actually great news. If what this does is it turns media into a more robust
investigative arm, a journalist, a really journalistic arm, and not just a press release
factory, then there might actually be, and I can't believe I'm going to say this,
some accidental good that could come
of this administration. Yeah, let's not call it accidental good. We don't want to go there.
I qualified it with accidental. But yeah, I mean, it does take the reporter out from behind the
desk, finally, that not going to sit there and just rely on everything they're used to doing or making
a phone call and just getting the answer.
Because Spicer spent 10 minutes yesterday
holding up pictures of tweets that Donald Trump didn't
like.
So true, too. He had those tweets in his head.
He's like, here's one he didn't like.
This one is Exhibit A. And then he talked
about how it was wrong. It was amazing.
We are at the point where we
are printing out our Twitter
so that we can get mad about it.
Did you notice he was holding
printed out tweets with two big screens
behind him?
Did no one understand how you could put tweets up on the big screen?
Can we get an AV guy out here?
Where's Joe? Where's our AV guy?
I don't have the cord to plug in my laptop.
Ah, fuck it. I'll just get giant
fucking novelty printouts.
Do you think that there's
a way, I know that they were talking about
ways in which that they could try to
handle this White House
press,
the press secretary, by just
asking the same question the previous guy
asked. Do you think that that would work do you think that like if they don't answer a question
that they just ask the same question over and over i heard that that as like a as a way in
which people were suggesting that they could sort of break this this down do you think that that's
a valid strategy or do you think just leave them leave them in general and don't even talk well i
think if you're gonna be there there, might as well try it.
At least drive him crazy.
14 people in a row,
including the guy on Skype
that's now taking questions.
I don't know if you saw that,
but he actually took a Skype question.
Did he really?
I missed that.
I think it was two days ago.
He literally called on a journalist
that wasn't there
and he was there via Skype
and he took a Skype question.
This is amazing. Was he a Breitbart guy?
Probably.
This is outstanding.
What it would mean in order for that to happen is
that the journalists that are a part
of the press corps would
have to get on the same page.
They would all have to huddle together.
The problem is that there's an adversarial relationship from,
from, from journalist to journalist, right?
Everybody wants to scoop first.
Everybody wants the story first.
So they would, they would almost have to say like truce.
Yeah.
We have to fight a larger enemy, right?
Called.
And I think you can get rid of that though at a,
at a presser like that, because I mean,
you could just report on the question question the guy before you ask anyway.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
No, that's true.
So I think if they can agree in there, I mean, Breitbart sitting in there isn't going to agree to this, but I'm sure CNN and MSNBC and Washington Post could all come together and say, we're going to write this stuff anyways.
Let's hammer them until it counts.
And they need to
because you know what what do we see it the first press release after his uh after he became
president and he he stood up there and called cnn fake news and then people just continued on
asking questions like that did not happen yeah yeah like it exactly it they just didn't even
pay attention to it and he kept on trying to ask and they said he's like no i'm to, you're being rude. Don't, don't, don't talk. You're being
rude. You're being, I couldn't believe it was happening. And then they just went, but they did,
he did directly go to a Breitbart guy right afterwards. So he didn't ask that. He wasn't
asking like ABC that question. He was asking somebody from Breitbart who was willing, I think,
to step in and ask a question. Yeah, that's a good point. But I think people should,
there should have been a little bit of unrest at that moment.
So we're going to be back at the end of the show
with Dan Errol to talk about his book,
The Secular Activist.
So stick around for that.
Fall on your knees, bitch.
So this story comes to the New York Post.
Priest tells anti-Trump protesters
to commit suicide.
Well, motherfucker, we're trying every day not to.
Like every day.
All of us just trying.
They didn't really say to do it.
He didn't come out and say commit suicide.
It's a bad headline.
What he did was he tweeted an image that says, show your hate for Trump.
And it has somebody leaping off of a building.
And then it says, do it for social justice.
Hashtag jump against Trump.
So he didn't say it with his face.
But he implied it with both words and images and hashtags.
So, oh no! And then he's
like, oh, I just thought it was funny.
He's trying to get out of it. He's just like, ah, I thought
it was funny. I thought it was a funny thing.
It's just a thing, because he did it too when he
had Hillary's face
on an image for Halloween.
It just said, it was
titled Ugly Face in Italian, and
Ugly Face in Italian is
brutta faccia!
It even sounds pretty in Italian. it's like brutta fascia it doesn't it doesn't sound pretty if literally anybody was
saying it but you doesn't sound ugly at all no it sounds very pretty actually no ugly she's got
the ugly face she got to the ugly face she looked like a a pizza pie. She was like in a beach ball, you know, with the eyes and the sloppy.
She looked like the Italian sausage.
But he, it's so funny because he's such a dick.
He's like, he put a snapshot of Hillary.
And then he also had Obama with the words, he's not my president.
And I don't even understand this, this do it for social justice.
The Catholics I worked with had this huge tradition of Catholic social teaching, which is all about, you know, it has all this stuff about poverty and wealth inequality and all this stuff about activism.
It's interwoven into their thought, which is surprising that somebody who's a Catholic would be so against social justice it it's shocking to
me i'm like whoa wait what but you know clearly there's some big disparities within the catholic
church right there's some very very progressive catholics and some very regressive catholics
when i look at this guy yeah he i mean he's wearing a fucking gilded fucking neck fat robe or whatever that is. It's like tablecloth for his fucking jowls or whatever that is.
It's a jowl tucker.
That's a jowl tucker.
He's tucked his jowls in there.
It looks like a Christmas tree skirt.
He does.
It looks like you need to water him.
It's like the needles from his beard are falling.
It's funny that he's got jump for Trump because this guy hasn't jumped in years.
He hasn't left the earth.
The like he barely leaves the earth one foot at a time, let alone both feet at the same
time.
You could jump off the fucking sausage rolls of his neck and reach terminal velocity.
That guy who jumped up from space,
like jumps off and was like,
jumps right off his neck.
He looks at this guy's like,
no,
man,
that'd be crazy.
He's like,
I will jump from something so high.
The curve of the earth is obvious,
but not you,
but not you,
not you,
bro.
You know what? And he's like,, man, it was just a joke.
I don't promote suicide.
I've helped a bunch of people over the years.
And it does not promote suicide.
It was funny.
It's a guy literally jumping off a building.
It says to do it.
No, it's an image of a guy plummeting to his death off a building.
How do you misconstrue that?
It'd be like, imagine if there was a silhouette of a gun, and on the other side was bits flying out.
I'd be like, what?
I wasn't promoting somebody shooting somebody in the head.
What?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I just thought it was funny when I expressly said to do a thing called kill yourself.
Guy jumping off a building.
He did say, he's like, I just thought it was funny.
And then one of his congregants is like, yeah, man, I fucking struggled with suicidal thoughts.
I don't think that's fucking funny.
I don't think it's fucking funny at all.
You fucker.
This guy, though, but I mean, he wasn't expressly saying it says jump.
It says jump against Trump.
That is an admonition.
Maybe the guy's base jumping.
Maybe you can't see because of the directionality of the image, but he's really got a base.
Well, fucking backpack.
He's a Trump.
Do you suddenly tell me?
Tell truth.
All truth.
And nothing but the truth.
Why don't you answer him?
He's talking big right now.
I don't know what he's saying.
He's asking you if you swear.
No, but I know all the words.
He's asking you if you will swear to tell the truth.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Judge.
You want to see?
Cecil, it has started.
We are...
Jesus. We are getting to the point
where we are almost certain...
Oh, geez.
To replace Scalia.
To replace Scalia.
I know, but it can't...
It's just replacing Scalia.
I know, and I know that. And I do know that.
But I would rather die a little than have this be true.
You would have rather had them approve somebody that Obama put in because it was kind of his job to put somebody in.
To be entirely fair, Scalia had the poor judgment to die and leave Obama only nine months.
Yeah.
Nine months.
Almost a quarter of a presidency.
Yeah. Right. And they, and they cock blocked them and Mitch McConnell, Mitch McConnell was like,
yeah, you know, we're just not going to fucking do it. And then McCain had come out and said, if Hillary gets elected, we're going to obstruct every fucking justice. We are going to, we are
not going to for fucking four or eight years, we are not going to let her
put a justice in. And then just
the fucking rumor that they might
fucking not allow this GORUCK guy
or whatever the fuck his name is.
Just even the rumor that they might obstruct.
Like, that's un-American.
What, when you fucking do it?
They get to play the un-American card, though. That's their
card. That's their wild card. They get to
play that all the time and they do it all the time.
They do.
The Republicans, like anything that they do, it's like, you don't love America.
Where's your bald eagles?
You don't have enough bald eagles.
Lee Greenwood would be ashamed of you right now.
Don't make Lee Greenwood sad.
This guy's name is Gorsh.
Is that it?
Is that the same guy who worked for Hitler, Gorsh?
I don't remember.
You know what scares me about this guy the most, honestly?
Yeah.
He's 49.
Yeah, he's young.
He's young.
He's a young dude, man.
Yeah.
That means that fucking my kids.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
My kids will be dealing with this bullshit.
Yeah, they're going to be, you know, when your kids are older, they'll be like, oh,
is he going to finally die like people are are saying about RB, you know, RBG. Yeah. Right. So I feel like, you know, this guy has sort of talked about
the birth control. And I think he, he was involved in a hobby lobby, like the lower level of the
hobby lobby, birth control stuff. And so he's, you know, he's clearly in line with, with what
Scalia was.
And it's funny, we get comments from a lot of different people.
And a lot of people will ask us,
they'll be like, where were you talking about Obama's policies?
Where the hell were you when Obama did this?
They'll mention, what have you been talking about for the past eight years?
Obama's been ruining the country, et cetera.
I've been talking about shit like this for the last eight years.
I've been talking about encroachment of church and state.
But the thing is, is before the buffoon in chief wasn't in charge of that.
The buffoon in chief was leaving it alone.
Now this guy is involved in it.
So I'm attacking Trump, right? Because he's involved.
He's directly involved in this shit.
You know, before Obama wasn't encroaching in this stuff.
He wasn't encroaching
in social issues.
He wasn't.
He was opening up.
He was expanding it, you know?
And now we're getting
this pushback.
You're wondering where I was.
Well, I was fighting
against assholes like this
for the last eight years.
You know?
If you were wondering
where we were,
then you weren't fucking
listening to the last
341 episodes.
This is what we've been
talking about.
This fucking guy.
This guy in particular. This Hobby Lobby case. talking about. This fucking guy, this guy in particular,
this Hobby Lobby case,
all that stuff,
all that stuff.
Yeah.
We talked about that because it,
because it's a,
it's a,
it's a,
it's a horrible path to walk down to start legislating birth control through
your health insurance to start legislating those things.
You know, we shouldn't have these discussions as a court to decide whether or not a woman
should be able to get fucking birth control the day after pill, those sorts of things.
You know, I know that everybody wants to fight about abortion, but it's not even about abortion.
No, birth control has nothing to do with abortion. Although when arguing the Hobby Lobby case, they inaccurately tied birth control to abortion in
order to make it more of a hot button issue and push people who were more to the right or more
to the center further to the right, the people that would react to that issue. Right. So they
definitely did that. You know, it's real fucking easy for somebody who's never going to get
pregnant like me. Right. To have a real fucking easy for somebody who's never going to get pregnant like me, right?
To have a fucking opinion about whether somebody should get fucking birth control.
I can fuck as much as I want.
I could be fucking constantly and I'm never going to get pregnant.
It just cannot happen, right?
So it's a real fucking easy issue for me because there's no fucking consequences to my body, my autonomy, my agency,
all of those things. I can fuck, I can just be constant. I can be a fucking sprinkler system,
a fucking cum. No problem. I'm never getting pregnant. I don't, I don't even feel like I
have a conversation. I don't have one to add to that conversation, but we have these decisions
that are made by a bunch of shitty fucking, you know, frankly, like privileged fucking white dudes who are like, I don't think a woman should have birth
control. I don't want to get into debate about the climate change, but I will just simply point
out that I think in academia, we all agree that the, the, the temperature on Mars is exactly as
it is here. Uh, nobody will dispute that yet. There are no coal mines on Mars. There's no
factories on Mars that, that Mars that I'm aware of.
This is great.
This is from Right Wing Watch.
World Net Daily editor Joseph Farah declared that human activity can cause climate change, but not how you might think, Cecil.
No.
Not how you might think.
I want to read directly because I think any summarizing would do this wrong.
He says, this is from WorldNetDaily.
While Al Gore and the Carbonphobes have no evidence to support their dire predictions of imminent doom other than computer modeling.
You don't even need computer modeling anymore you don't need computer modeling
anymore just look at just look at like the last 17 years 20 years yeah the hottest 17 years on
record you don't need any computer modeling just look in the past now right uh those who take my
position actually have more than 6 000 years of biblical and historical patterns along with the inerrant word of God. Unlike those stupid computers, I got a real old book and a made up timeline.
What do you have? Computers. What have those ever done? Fluid airplane,
landed a man on the moon.
Put a rover. Oh, wait. Those are all things that we
have used computers really successfully for.
Yeah, it would be awesome if you're on
the book of Curiosity
the Rover. That would be a great
book if it were in the Bible.
I have an old book that tells you what kind
of plants you can plant. And now turn it
to the book of Voyager.
And we shall talk about the record.
Go inside. Shall be gold. Shall be narrated And now turneth to the book of Voyager, and we shall talk about the record. Thou shalt go inside,
shall be gold.
Shall be narrated by Carl Sagan.
All right.
But it says,
so maybe it's time for the new bumper sticker,
sin, not carbon,
causes climate change.
Do you know how much adultery you have to
commit just to push the earth up one degree that's a lot of that's a lot of adultery i'm i'm i'm
willing to heat up my whole apartment though i'll just tell you i don't need to raise the
but i feel like i got a thousand square feet to warm up. In fact, you could put the turkey thermometer in me somewhere.
That's kind of my kink.
That's my kink.
No wonder I'm so hot all the time.
I want to grow constantly sweaty.
I'm like my own climate change.
I want to read here.
He says, apparently it never rained on Earth before this time.
So it was a true test of Noah's faith that the whole world would be consumed in a massive global flood.
But that wasn't the only cause of the flood.
Not only were the windows of heaven open for 40 days, but so were the fountains of the great deep.
You sound like such a fool.
That's like, you know what?
We got to sacrifice a baby so that fire rock comes back in the sky tomorrow.
Go get yourself a baby.
We'll sacrifice it.
Like, I mean, seriously, the windows of heaven and the fountains of the deep.
Fall back to Helm's Deep.
The fuck, man. and the fountains of the great deep fall back to Helm's deep the fuck man we're gonna have the Ents fighting
it's the stupidest shit I've ever
heard it never rained
before
how would everybody think alive
why would there be plants
it never rained before
6,000 years
it's a bad drought guys it's literally never rained we. 6,000 years. It's just like, oh, it's a bad drought, guys.
It's literally never rained.
We should all be dead.
I don't know how we're supposed to live.
They're like silicon people.
They're just eating sand because nothing can grow.
It's never rained.
They're just pouring.
How's the sand, motherfucker?
Anyway.
It's never rained the first time.
And then God, hold on a second.
God makes it rain.
He makes it rain real big.
He's like, well, I'm going to make that happen from time to time now.
I kind of like it.
It looks pretty.
There was a rainbow afterwards.
You know, once in a while, why don't we just put that on the calendar as a thing that happened?
You know, maybe I could make like a weather system around the planet where once in a while the windows of heaven will just open up.
Maybe we can open up those little fountains in the great deep too.
It never rained.
Who thinks that's true?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
My favorite part is here.
It says, when the waters receded,
there was likely some profound climate changes.
People don't live as long as the generations before Noah.
Perhaps the oxygen content of the atmosphere was reduced.
Yeah, that's what happens.
When you're going to die, they put you in the hospital
and they give you oxygen, not so you can breathe better, but so you live longer.
Maybe shit should oxidize more.
That'll help.
Maybe even fucking rain once in a while.
Oh, man.
I'm so thirsty. I'm so thirsty.
I'm so thirsty.
It's just...
And could you imagine...
I bought all these rain barrels
just hoping...
Okay, so all those assholes
are just staring at Noah like,
what the fuck are you doing again?
Like, no, it's going to like...
Like, there's going to be water.
Like, what are you talking about?
Where would it come from?
I don't even know what you're talking.
Water.
What is that?
All we have to say.
We're surrounded by sand.
Well, what's the weather going to be like?
Oh, we're not going to have any again.
Another perfectly cloudless day here in Scorchville.
Godless day here in Scorchville.
All the animals are just like walking around like,
bro, I really wish there was like,
just like one little water dish.
Like one dish.
Can you just like fill that up?
I just want, like, there's like a bunch of gazelles that are like, man, I would even get eaten by a tiger right now
if I could get to a watering hole. I don't even care.
My body's
80% water. I don't know where it came from.
We're like squeezing babies
like fucking orange juice.
In the name of Jesus, we speak that. All right, Cecil, speaking of rain.
Speaking of rain.
Speaking of rain.
Yeah.
Make it rain, motherfucker.
It's from Right Wing Watch.
Matt Staver.
Rain during the inauguration was God cleansing away the chaos and harm and blood sowed by Obama.
Obama.
Obama. Thanks, Obama. All right. So we're going to play this clip. This
is from Right Ring Watch. This is Matt Staver. I'm Matt Staver, founder and chairman of Liberty
Council. Joining me is Matt Barber, the founder of barbwire.com and Holly Mead, the director of
communications for Liberty Council. Matt, you were there when that historic moment occurred,
when President Donald Trump put his hand on the two Bibles.
If you double up the Bibles, it makes it more holy.
It actually makes his hand look bigger. That's why he did it.
But he would think it would make it look smaller. I can't hold them. I can't palm these big books.
That's one of the best jokes.
No, what he's saying is like, no, it's a single
book. It wasn't two books. It was
one book. That's how big my hand is.
It's enormous compared to this one
book. He looks down. He's like,
which one of these is the Old Testament? Which one
of these is the New Testament?
You got any signed by
Jesus? Samantha Bee had a
great joke. She said he
placed his hand on two Bibles to be sworn in, which is two times the number of books he's ever read in his life.
And then also just before him, Vice President Mike Pence put his hand on two Bibles as well.
And he had his open to Second Chronicles 714.
open to 2 Chronicles 714. Actually, he has
to, like, in order to
the way the vice presidency works,
Trump puts his hand
on the Bible, and then
Pence puts his hand right up Trump's
ass, and then uses him like
a puppet. That's how it works.
I like that he's going to specifically
mention he has the Bible
open. He's like, he had it open to this
particular passage. No, that's not how opening books work.'s like, open to this particular passage.
No, that's not how opening books work.
You have it open to the page.
Yeah, right.
All the shit on that page is on that page.
Exactly, right?
Whatever's on that page, but he's going to read now what that passage is.
If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and turn from their
wicked ways, that is the verse.
And it goes on beyond that.
Yeah.
And it says,
but it,
but it's for white people though.
I mean,
like,
let's be honest,
which is funny.
Black people can humble the fuck out of themselves.
It doesn't do any fucking good at all.
Right.
Yeah.
That was opened and he had his hand on that Bible verse.
Oh my God.
Well,
there we are.
He had his hand on a fucking old book.
Yeah.
So he's certainly qualified to run the free world.
Now I I'm so much more confident that he'll make all the right economic
decisions before,
because he fucking places had on a book that was written before economies
were invented.
What,
what is amazing to me is how much they're going to talk about in this clip, how important that religious component is to both of them.
That's what this whole clip is about.
I believe it for Pence.
And for both of them, though, they're going to talk.
This guy is going to talk about this.
This staver is going to be talking about it with his guests about how important this is and how great this is and how, you know, this person is just,
this person is holy. They're talking about Trump and they're talking about Pence. They're both
holy. They're both, you know, they both had a lot of prayer, et cetera. And this is the guy
that these people are happy is in office. So again, if you're a non-religious Trump supporter,
I don't know how, you must have some serious cognitive dissonance going on right now because you made sure that the policies of the far religious right are being actualized in the real world.
Because otherwise, why would they be so fucking thrilled?
Yeah.
Right.
This is a an amazing shift in the future of America.
And you were right there in the midst of it.
the future of America. And you were right there in the midst of it.
I was. And my wife and I were in the crowd and just so moved to tears, really, to hear.
They have said that there was a record setting for inaugurations and prayers.
Christ's name was glorified over and over again.
Rain is God's blessing. And it started to sprinkle when President Trump. Listen, let me tell you about that.
You know, it was awesome.
It was uncanny. We were standing there. and the moment that Donald Trump walked up to the platform, it started to sprinkle.
It was so awesome. And then the moment he stepped away from the platform, it stopped sprinkling.
It was it was really wild. And then for Franklin to tie that together, it was just like, wow,
immediately talking about it. It didn't even happen. That's not even true. And who cares?
But I know.
But but I did.
I did read an article and then I watched the video.
That's just not the case.
It was raining a little before it rained in the middle.
It rained a little after it.
We didn't even if it even if it was, it would mean nothing. Right.
Because if it had been a beautiful, bright, sunny day, they'd have been like, look at the great day, the glorious day that God has given us.
And then there was two doves. I saw them.
Two doves. They flew out. There was a couple of
them. A fucking butterfly landed
on the tip of his cock like everybody
would be so happy. Fucking
little birds and shit fucking did his
hair before he came out.
Like fucking some
kind of horrifying Cinderella.
He's just, he's dancing
around and all these little
fucking chipmunks and shit are tying
his tie.
But they all gotta
be like malformed in some way, right?
Like they're all like the evil ones.
He like loses a few in his neck jowls.
It's like, it's like the land
of misfit toys is tying him up.
It's like a reverse Cinderella. It's like it's like the land of misfit toys is tying him up it's like a reverse cinderella it's
like a crow like it's like instead of tweeting beautifully it's like
it's like right next and every time it goes like that his hair kind of does one of those
off to the side he sprays himself with a skunk for cologne.
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some free stuff. Oh dear Jesus. All right. So this story is from Right Wing Watch. So there was
recently an attack, a terrible attack at a mosque in Canada. I think six people were killed in that attack.
And, you know, one of the first things that I saw was like, how long is it going to take for the fucking nut jobs to call this a false flag?
You don't have to wait long.
You don't have to wait long at all.
Yeah, not at all.
So they're like fucking dominoes.
They'll deliver in 30 minutes or less now.
It's a pizza gate.
Domino's they'll deliver in 30 minutes or less.
Now it's a pizza gate.
I kind of want to open a pizza place called pizza gate pizza,
man.
I fucking have the spirit cooking pie.
I would just have all the delivery people dress like young children.
And then just on the pizza.
So Alex Jones is a,
he's already out. He's calling the Quebec attack
a false flag.
So this is Alex Jones
from his shitty,
shitty show InfoWars.
Oh no,
they've got a list
of over 20 million people.
Soros has a database
of 20 million through MoveOn
and they hit the button now.
And what I've noticed
in all these demonstrations is
they're led by Muslims.
Muslims are leading
in this country
an insurrection.
It's incredible.
Wait, what? There's an insurrection It's incredible Wait what?
There's an insurrection
First of all
Did you know there was an insurrection in this country?
I wasn't even aware
I don't even want to get to who's leading it
I didn't even know we were having one
This is the quietest insurrection I've never heard about
Nobody even called me
I feel left out
I got fucking FOMO on this insurrection.
It's sort of like,
it's sort of like an insurrection from the South.
It's like,
were you lazy?
Like,
we'll get around to it after we had sweet tea.
We're on insurrection time.
Seriously.
Like,
I,
when he,
when he's talking about this,
he's making it sound like any of the marches.
I think he's saying like any of those marches that were happening are an
insurrection.
Well,
I had heard that all of those were George Soros funded and I'm like funded,
but what's funded.
And like,
people showed up.
Like I feel fucking profoundly ripped off because my wife went to one of
those and I didn't get any money.
Did you get a big check?
I didn't get any money from that.
Where was your $20 million? Jesus. George Soros is so rich. He give me money. Give me money. Did you get a big check? I didn't get any money from that. Yeah, where was your $20 million? Jesus,
George Soros is so rich. He can give me
money. Give me money, George Soros.
Why? I don't know what you fund.
What would have to be funded?
They say that they buy like
The permits?
Well, permits and then a bunch of signs.
So they'll make signs and things and give them out.
How much do the signs cost?
That's the thing. It's not that much money.
It's fucking poster board.
Yeah.
Oh, the evil billionaire is going to spend his money on fucking poster board and crayons?
That's his big plan?
I'll buy all the poster board at Walmart and give somebody some Crayolas.
Well, I think the ones that they point to are the ones on the sticks that are already
sort of professionally made, like the professionally made signs.
Like, how did they make a professional
sign already? Kinkos, FedEx
fucking store, whatever. Like, it's super
easy, but all these people are all conspiracy theorists.
So they all think that George Soros bought
the signs for everybody. And you're just like, well,
even if he did, that doesn't convince them to do it
just because you have a sign doesn't mean, be like,
oh man, I totally didn't, I wasn't even interested
in this protest until I had the sign.
And now I'm like really into it now.
Because it got a cool sign, man.
Like, is that?
It's such a crazy thing to think.
Like, you're just walking down the street
and somebody hands you a sign,
you're like, fuck,
now I gotta go protest something.
You know, it's like,
you're not even paying attention.
You're on your way to work,
and it's like, oh fuck, fuck.
And you're like, shout by the sign.
You're like, whoa, okay, I'll go protest. I don't know. I was gonna take my kid to school, oh fuck you're like shocked by this oh yeah i'll go protest i was gonna take
my kid to school but fuck you jimmy you're on your own yeah no no yeah hi boss that can fire
me no i got a george soros sign it says no it's a joy oh no it's like made at kinko's like it's
really nice and it's got a stick and everything it's official what going to do? It's for the Soros Corp.
It's like stuck to my hand.
Like I can't get it off.
Like how long you got to march for three hours with it before it comes up.
It's like a three hour hand glue.
I have a report due in two hours.
He buys the signs.
Is that really what people think?
He buys the signs.
That's what I mean.
If anybody has any other crazy
Soros nutter conspiracy
stuff send it to him because that's all that I've found
it's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard
isn't that dumb
our job is to listen to stupid shit
and that is
we just heard a story where people thought it did
rain for thousands of years
and this is even stupider
than that.
Right, and I saw
in, I forget if it was in, it might have been in
Dallas, Fort Worth, but
That guy's mustache
is amazing.
He's got, so I don't
want to talk too much about it, but he's got
a really, really, really long
distance between his teeth
and his nose and it's covered but
fur.
It's just like, it's a walrus mustache.
Like, this guy is cuckoo-kachoo.
He looks great.
They were doing the call to prayer, you know, the...
See?
Soros bankrolling effort to stop Trump's temporary refugee hate.
And so, again, they think that he gives money to things to try
to stir up problems.
George Soros is their boogeyman.
They're just afraid.
It's the same thing like the Koch brothers
or Koch brothers or whatever the fuck.
They love Koch. There are a couple of billionaires
that are interested in the world
and their views directly contradict
my own, but they use their money to
further an agenda. That's what people with money do. they use their money to further an agenda.
That's what people with money do.
I use my money to further an agenda.
We use our show money to further an agenda.
Am I evil?
Yeah.
Or am I just... I mean, it's so funny how hypocritical it is, right?
Because it's like we have Citizens United, right?
Which says that companies are people and they can spend money and they can spend political money.
They get...
Yeah.
And yet people aren't people when they spend their money on political causes.
I don't understand this.
I don't understand this.
Like we want,
we want Walmart or whatever to be able to spend on the one hand,
infinite amount of money and exercise rights as if they're people.
And yet when people spend their money to engage the political system or to bankroll causes they care about,
what if I give fucking money to save the whales?
Am I fucking evil because I'm advancing a cause?
You know, they talk about Soros
and other people on this side bankrolling protests.
That's the main thing that they talk about.
Well, I think that there's other stuff
that they give money to.
I just don't know what it is.
I don't know what they what they say they fund.
And I've seen, too, that they said like that they put Craigslist ads out to get protesters to go out and they get paid to be protesters.
And I'm just like, I've never heard of such a thing.
I'm like, OK, but like everybody, everybody I know that went to go march in Chicago marched because they wanted to, not because they fucking filled out a Craigslist ad.
Are they paying for the pussy hats?
Is that it?
Like, it's just like a free pussy hat and a sign with every protester?
Lined up like magnetic filings, you know, towards their cult object over there in Mecca,
you know, with the butts in the air, right in American airports.
So...
Oh my God!
You are super racist!
They can do that in an airport because they're fucking, you know, because fucking that's OK, because we respect all religions, dude.
At any point, they could shut airports down.
I mean, so if there's something bigger and which is where I'd like to I'd like to kind of talk about Quebec.
Quebec.
I'd like to also pronounce it wrong while I'm at it.
Quebec.
It's Quebec.
I think people are not seeing.
Oh, you mean the attack on the Muslims?
They've spun this, that this is a terror attack on Muslims.
Some outlets are even saying because of Trump.
No, it's jihadis killing other Muslims.
Break it down.
It's clearly not.
No, I mean, it's clearly not.
It's clearly not.
I want to give Alex Jones a little bit of benefit of the doubt to say I don't know if at this point when this is being said that there is actually they came out with the with the thing with the identity of the guy.
But as if they hadn't, then he's making an assumption that he's making an assumption.
Well, he's making an assumption based on Fox News, which came out.
Yeah, maybe that's what he was using. Yeah. But there's another layer to this. Now that the Daily
Beast, you can see what the frequency they're on is. They're totally on receive mode. The Daily Beast actually ran a fake news story showing two white guys
like at a rifle range with their names as the shooters.
They had to take it down after a couple of hours. So some fake news site puts up two
French Canadian white guys with guns. Daily Beast has got it running immediately.
Soros could have activated, had millions of people on the street.
The burn down of the cities begins.
Wait, what is that?
What?
Wait, Soros could have activated the millions of people on the street.
The burn down of the cities begins.
I think I got everything word for word.
What the fuck does that mean?
It means that Soros hits an
activate button and turns into Voltron
millions of people please say George Soros turns
into Voltron then there's a monstrous sword
oh thank goodness I've been looking for that sword
I don't know why they don't use the sword right away
I hope his hands are lions
I hope his hands are
lion mouths and they bite
ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha bitey hands I got the bitey lion hands are lion mouths, and they bite.
Bitey hands.
I got the bitey lion hands.
He's got bitey biscuits, too,
because his feet are lions.
He's got bitey biscuits and bitey hands.
He smits his tongue.
He's basically a lion puppet.
While he's swinging his sword,
one of the hands is like,
come on, man, I'm all the time.
I got to hold this sword.
They sneeze and it goes flying.
This is really difficult to do.
This is a terribly ineffective way to build a robot.
Next time on the head.
Why are we just always this robot?
We know we're going to start out.
We finish every fight as this robot.
We're going to get our asses kicked to the lions.
Can't we just start as the robot?
In fact, why don't we just build a new robot and we're never the lions?
Is there any way we can make five robots this size and become a bigger robot?
And then, guys, hear me out.
We always have the sword.
We don't have to call it down from space.
We won't give it back to space. We just always keep the sword. We don't have to call it down from space. We won't give it back to space.
We just always keep the sword. If George Soros were running it, that's how we'd do it, I think.
I think that what happened in Quebec was an abortive false, in Quebec City, was a FUBAR
false flag operation. Typically, suicide jihadists don't do these kind of things like a commando.
Omar Mateen didn't wear a black mask and have a getaway plan.
The San Bernardino killers didn't wear black masks and have a getaway plan.
No, I get it. If you're gonna run a false flag against Muslims,
you obviously have Muslims do it, but then they get caught.
We wanna kill Muslims, nobody knows why. Sure, of course we do.
And we wanna use Muslims to kill
the Muslims because
reasons.
So how do you
convince
the Muslim to murder
the other Muslims?
George Soros.
See,
if you offer to build someone a Voltron
suit, they'll do virtually anything for you.
Okay, you got me. No, no, you fucking got me.
You want answers? I think I'm entitled.
You want answers!
I want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
Oh, I love this.
This has nothing to do with anything except for just how wonderfully delightful it is.
This is from Elite Daily.
Trump thinks Frederick Douglass is still alive, and Twitter won't let him live it down.
This is just, I don't, we just let him, just let him speak.
Can we just?
Sure.
Let's play it.
This is, this is him speaking.
This was him at, now he's giving this.
This was at the start of Black History Month.
He's actually surrounded by black people talking about Black History Month.
And this is the,
this is what the,
the piece of the audio that we have.
This is again,
I'm elite daily.
It's even more cringy.
Now that you know,
I,
you know what,
now that I,
you're right.
Cause now that I know I have that feeling of like watching like meet the
fuckers.
That's what every time he speaks,
I get the fuckers moment.
I want to like hide my head out of the blanket.
He goes off script here and it's so cringy.
So here we go.
This is Donald Trump.
I'm proud now that we have a museum, a national mall, where people can learn about Reverend King.
So many other things.
Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.
He's been dead a hundred years. He's getting recognized more and more, I notice. He's been dead a hundred years.
He's getting recognized more and more and stuff.
He's doing an amazing job being a slave.
He's doing an amazing job with that abolitionist movement.
He's doing a great job being a freed slave turned writer and died.
He's doing an amazing
job.
You're a fucking buffoon.
He's getting recognized
more and more.
It's nice to see
him smile and get his due.
Thanks.
Thanks, Fredrick.
Can we get Fredrick up here. Can we get Frederick up here?
Can we get Frederick?
Frederick,
are you in the room somewhere?
Are one of you blackies,
Frederick?
You all look the same.
I can't tell.
Just give an award
to one of them.
They'll sell it anyway.
Actually,
just throw it on my book and see who grabs it. Here's a snap them. They'll sell it anyway. Just throw it on my mug.
See who grabs it.
Here's a snap card.
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck.
Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You know the best part about that?
The best part is he has no idea who Frederick Douglass is.
He has no idea.
Somebody wrote down three names.
Somebody wrote down the names, and he has no idea who Frederick Douglass is. He has no idea. Somebody wrote down three names. Somebody wrote down the names, and he has no idea who he is.
And so what he's doing is he's just ad-libbing, but he doesn't know what he's talking about.
So it's like when somebody—
It's like when I talk about sports.
When you're given an oral report in class, and they're like, oh, so we'd like you to talk about the economic system in China.
You know the economic system in China, it's doing really well.
It's actually getting a lot better.
It's going it's going really well for them.
I mean, like he's just what I talk about.
Yeah, exactly.
He's just making up.
He's going along.
He's I want to hear one more time.
I want to hear one more time.
Now that we have a museum, a national mall where people can learn about Reverend King,
so many other things.
So many things.
Douglas is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more
and more.
I noticed he's been recognized more and more.
I noticed. I noticed.
I noticed.
He came to my attention.
And Bannon was like, hey, you hear this Frederick Douglass guy?
He's moving up in the world.
Did anybody notice Frederick Douglass?
No, man.
Nobody noticed him.
He's being recognized though, Tom. More and more. He's done an amazing job. Oh, what's his job. It's been recognized though, Tom.
More and more.
He's done an amazing job.
Oh, what's his job?
What's his job?
What did he do?
What did he do?
He didn't get to pick the first job.
No, he did get to talk about his book, The Secular Activist, a how-to manual for protecting the wall between church and state.
Dan, tell us a little bit about your book.
Sure. So the book is, it's a two-part.
So the story itself follows my kind of journey with Ken Ham, the CEO of the Creation Museum and Arc Encounter, and my battle with trying to stop him from using taxpayer money to build the Arc.
But instead of making the book just about me, which is just fascinating enough, but I couldn't fill enough pages, is I have stories in there as well from other activists.
So people going into city council meetings and demanding that secular invocations or no invocations be given.
Battles with Ten Commandments and even American Atheists battle with the 9-11 Museum putting up the cross.
And I tell these different stories and some are winners and some are losers. I go through each case and how they were won or why they were lost and what we can do to be better activists. And even going through the whole, at first, winning against Ken Ham and then losing against Ken Ham.
And then I wrote it right up to the last day of actually going to Kentucky and protesting.
And so the last chapter actually includes being at that protest and what we did there.
And really, it's just meant to be a how-to for someone that wants to get involved but doesn't know how I go through different steps of, you know, how you can
be an activist just by sitting on Facebook, or you can be an activist by getting out in the streets
or getting on the phone and calling Congress. How much should we care about the little issues,
you know, the invocation, the, uh, the nativity scene, the, you know, the, the, the little pieces,
how much should we care about those? A lot. Uh, and, and the reasoning is if we give up on those,
if we give the Christian right an inch, they're going to try to take a mile. So they're going to take each step. So they say, oh, well, we don't care about, you know, in God we trust on money. We don't care about this one nativity scene.
the next year that one nativity scene is two and then the town over says oh we're gonna do that too and they do it and that's what we see with you know in god we trust being put on the back
of police cars you know a small town in texas goes and puts a sticker on the back of their car
and american atheist sues them and everyone says oh what a petty lawsuit and then the the city or
the county in this in this instance or the small town lost $40,000 in that lawsuit.
That's a lot of money for a small little town.
And that sent a message to the ones next to it that you're not doing this either.
And that's a blow to the Christian right who think that they can just toss in God we trust
on something and it's fine so does this do these
kind of lawsuits do they prevent the kind of creep of of uh religiosity and a specific religious
worldview into the into the public sphere is that the concern like you got to stem every tide or
plug every hole in the dam yeah pretty much yeah i mean that's that kind of nails it because
you know like i said if you if you stop on that and you say, you know, who cares? It's just one small town and they just haven't got any trust on their car. And then the next small town next door and the next door and then Dallas does it. And then Houston does it. And then the next town over says, well, we're going to one-up that. We're going to put giant crosses and we're going to ask people when we pull them over if they're Christians or not.
And then we say, well, that's just a little stupid thing in a small town.
So if you just let these things go and they grow.
And so they have to be stopped because you have to set that precedent that no one else can do this.
I'm curious how your battle with Ken Ham went.
We went down to the Ark Park.
Tom and I visited the Ark.
We actually went inside
and looked at their dinosaurs in cages.
Very believable.
I almost converted on the spot.
My favorite part,
my absolute favorite part
is the turtle with no shell.
It was so amazing.
It is amazing.
The short-necked giraffe
was the second favorite,
but the turtle with no shell was, I sat there for 10 minutes trying to figure out what the fuck it was.
I was like, what on earth could this possibly be?
Is it like a mutated slug?
What am I looking at?
There were so many wondrous animals.
I especially like the row after row of bird cages that were closed, but they just had speakers of tweeting and bird sounds behind it.
My favorite animal was the native
Kentuckian. That was my favorite animal.
That's the biggest animal.
That's the one that needs the rascal scooters to go up and down
those little ramps.
They put one stair in there and it'd be a
fucking train wreck of corpses.
I don't know if you saw the inside of that, Dan, but that's all
ramps inside. So we went to
the Ark Park. Tell us a little the, we went to the arc park. Um,
tell us a little bit about sort of what went on there. Like, cause clearly you, you fought against,
um, uh, Ken Ham about this. What, what exactly, what, what happened?
Well, so originally what happened was Ken applied for, um, a, a tourism tax benefit.
So, uh, the, the racetrack that's in Kentucky is a great example.
So NASCAR wanted a racetrack in Kentucky.
So they thought, well, what happens if you build a racetrack?
People come to watch races.
Hicks pull out and hundreds of thousands to watch cars drive in circles for four hours.
And now that's going to get...
Now we're going to get email from people i'm going to get email they
don't know how to use email that's true i wouldn't worry about it everything would just crash they
watch their server crash for entertainment and uh so you know they built the park and they
the racetrack said we'll give you and i don't know how much the racetrack got but let's say
they said well you know 50 million dollars in tax rebates because you're going to bring in tourism.
And so by doing so, they can expand, they can keep the park going.
It's beneficial to them.
And so because when you go watch a race, you come in front of town, you get a hotel, you eat dinner out, You're spending tons of money in the economy. So it's beneficial to the city and the state to say, wow, let's give you an incentive to build it here rather than somewhere else.
Well, Ken wanted that same incentive.
So he started threatening to move the park to Ohio or other, even I think Louisiana was on the list.
And so he said,
but you know,
Kentucky,
we'll build it here if we can take advantage of this.
So he applied and they said,
yeah,
we'll give you $18 million.
Once he got that,
he said,
great.
Well,
to work here,
you have to be a young earth creationist.
What you have to,
okay,
this is the,
this is my favorite one.
This one didn't come out till a bit later down the road when someone finally got a hold of the full thing.
To work for the ARC encounter, if you're not married, you have to sign a vow of celibacy.
Shut the fuck up.
But here's why, okay, that sounds-
Can you sign it in your own semen?
See, so that sounds bad.
That does, admittedly.
But I think that if you are an unmarried Kentuckian working at the Ark, you're probably not having sex anyways.
That fucking document's a formality.
You're getting paid in teeth.
Right?
It'd be like if I was like, I'll sign something that says I don't fly.
Like, all right.
Well, I would have just told them to be like, hey, why don't you take your, you know, you're threatening to take your ark down to Louisiana. Why don't you take it
down there and see if it floats?
Next Katrina, no
problem. Just pile on the ark.
Just enjoy. You know,
$18 million is a lot
of money for Kentucky. That's like
their whole GDP plus.
Yeah. And the idea that it's going
to drive tourism to Williamstown,
Kentucky.
We were there.
There's nothing in Williamstown.
Williamstown, right.
So that's a population of what, 3,000?
Oh, fucking 3,000 on a good day with the fucking race in town like you were mentioning.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing there.
The moonshine's allowed to vote.
Williamstown themselves gave the park a $74 million land grant.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
All of Kentucky isn't worth $74 million.
You could put all of the real estate of Kentucky up for sale right now.
$74 million would be three times the winning bid. No shit. $74
million for fucking land
in Kentucky. You could probably buy all of Louisiana
and be like the Louisiana Purchase Part 2.
I think you can still pay
for land in Kentucky with beads
and furs.
Grizzly
Bear Peltz? That state is fucking
garbage. That state is worse than garbage garbage is offended by kentucky
are you fucking kidding me people from tennessee make fun of kentucky oh man so did you travel
there i did i went to uh i went to the protests um so me along with Americans United, sent a letter to the governor, Steve Brashear, the governor at the time.
And we pointed out that the hiring practices were illegal because the Ark Encounter was an LLC.
They weren't a nonprofit.
So they weren't a religious organization that had the right to only hire Christians or young earth creationists or,
um,
teenage celibates.
But,
uh,
and so they lost,
they lost 18 million.
Wow.
And that was the big,
that was the big victory at first.
And of course,
Ken Ham sued and cried religious persecution and that everyone hates
Christians.
And,
um,
which is true,
but,
uh,
uh, they won the court
case basically. Now, how did they win?
It seemed, I don't understand. I don't
and granted I'm biased as fuck, right?
But I don't understand how they won.
Help me understand that.
The Supreme Court in
Kentucky is incredibly
right wing. I mean, that's awfully
fucking right wing. I don't that's awfully fucking right wing.
I don't even know. Like the facts on the ground seem awfully transparent.
When they say all rise,
they play dueling banjo.
Okay.
You got me.
All right.
Yeah.
Well,
when you get during the hearing itself,
you could tell they were going to win just by the line of questioning.
The,
um,
judge was,
was going down.
He was sort of already sort of leaning in that hobby lobby businesses
can have religious beliefs uh idea and so he was kind of his whole line of questioning was based
around well if this is what the people that own this park believe you know you can't have an
atheist working there it wouldn't work and he sort of bought into that. It needs to be in this sense.
And they even brought up like Disney. If you go to work at Disneyland or Disney World at Epcot,
inside Epcot, they have it broken up into different nations. And they can discriminate
hiring people. So if you want to work in Japan, in Epcot, and you show up and you're a super white albino
from Kentucky, they can say, we can't hire you. You don't fit the job description.
Now, they can't say you cannot work anywhere in this building, but for that one particular role,
they can do that. So Ken Ham has the right to say, look, you have to be a young earth creationist to give tours here.
But to serve hot dogs or to take tickets, your religious beliefs have zero weight on your ability to do your job.
Yeah, sure.
So is the janitorial staff have to be young earth creationists?
Every single person that works there.
Yeah, that makes sense, though.
They have to clean up the fake animal shit.
Yeah, I mean.
So that's tough.
Like they got to sweep up. And you can only do that if you believe it's there.
You have to have all your fucking imaginary friends in the ark or whatever. All right. So your book, The Secular Activist, a how-to manual for protecting the wall between church and state.
It came out October the 1st of 2016. Where should we look to buy the book?
Everywhere books are sold.
Amazon, Barnes & Noble.
There are a bunch of Barnes & Noble
in the country that have it in stock
if you don't want to buy it online.
But it's also available in tons
and tons of mom and pop shops.
And it's available to them too.
So if you have a favorite bookstore,
head in there, ask them,
they can order it
and they can have it in a couple of days.
And otherwise you can get it on Kindle, audiobook. audio book. So Dan, if people were going to find
your blog, where would they look? Uh, Danthropology.com. Thanks for joining us, Dan. Uh, keep
up the good fight there. You're, you're putting out some really great stuff, some really great
articles. We've been checking it out a lot. So thank you so much for your work. Thank you. Well,
thank you very much.
So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons who are amazing people who fund this studio and pay our employees. So we want to thank you very much. We want to
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Opening Arguments.
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Thank you all so very much for your generous donations.
Speaking of Opening Arguments, we were on the Opening Arguments podcast very recently.
We did a lot awful movies with them, which is available to their patrons.
And we had a great time doing it.
It was a lot of fun.
We did a runaway journey.
So much fun.
Don't watch it, but listen to their show.
Yeah.
Really good stuff.
But you got to be a patron to do it.
I think you got to be a patron.
You do.
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So we are going to have another book that we're going to read.
So we're going to actually do a fight.
We are.
We're going to fight some books.
But Tom has already picked his.
So Tom picked Dianetics.
So Dianetics is going to fight against another book. I'm going
to read the other book, and then Tom and I are going to
quiz each other based on
this. We're not going to read the other book, so Tom
and I are just going to have to quiz each other
based on that. So
Tom is going to read Dianetics.
I am going to read one of four books.
You can go to patreon.com. Actually, if you go
to this episode, episode
342 at dissonancepod.com,
click on it.
You can be taken directly
to the patron post
where we're going to be polling everybody.
And you don't have to be a patron
to participate.
You can just show up and vote there.
But hey, while you're there.
Hey.
But you can,
these are the books.
So it's Quantum Healing by Deepak Chopra.
The revised and updated edition.
Natural Cures,
quotes,
they,
unquote,
don't want you to know about
by Kevin Trudeau,
the known felon,
Kevin Trudeau.
Urine Therapy,
Nature's Elixir for Good Health
by Floral Pinchnock.
I don't even know.
Who cares?
It's urine therapy.
And then finally,
Ray Comfort's
Scientific Facts in the Bible.
100 Reasons to Believe the Bible
is supernatural in origin.
So if you're interested in me
reading one of those books,
let us know.
Go ahead and vote
for one of those books.
And then I will pick the one
that gets the most votes.
So whatever one gets the most votes,
I will read on the show
and we will fight it to see who's is crazier, Dianetics or one of these books.
I wanted to mention too, Christina sent in a message and this is important. I had said that
Richard Spencer was punched during the Women's March. He was actually punched on Inauguration
Day. I want to do make sure that that gets mentioned. I might have misquoted Eli when I said that.
Eli had said that it was overshadowing, I think, the Women's March.
So I wanted to mention the Women's March.
He also got a lot of his information from a recent Yik Yak.
That's true.
I should never trust Eli.
It's a mistake of mine.
He made one mistake.
I'll never let him live it down.
But thanks, Christina, for sending that in.
Thank you.
We got a bunch of people sending this site.
It's called trumpdonald.org.
You can go to our website, dissonancepod.com,
click on 342, episode 342,
and you can go to this website.
We'll have a link to it.
It's actually very, very funny.
So we'll let you figure out exactly how it works.
So we got a bunch of messages about Nazi punching.
People wanted to send us images of cartoons,
which we, Tom and I are both on the side
that cartoons, it's fine.
If it fits in a comic book, it's cool, right?
Yeah, somebody tweeted us like a picture
of like some superhero.
And I'm like, yeah, I will admit
that superheroes get a pass.
Yeah, superheroes totally get a pass. Like if you have- If it's in a comic book, that's fine., I will admit that superheroes get a pass. Yeah. Superheroes totally get a pass.
Like if you have a comic book,
that's fine.
You have,
but I just admit like in real life,
if you have superpowers,
I'm not like a fucking,
then go fucking punch Nazis.
It's fine.
Like if you shoot fucking lasers out of your eyes,
I don't even care what the superpower is.
Yeah.
If you have supernatural abilities,
I'm fine with you punching a Nazi.
You just live outside the scope of human morality.
It's fine.
You get to do whatever you want.
Right.
We got a bunch of messages, though, about this, and a lot of people didn't agree with us.
Some people did.
But in this particular one, Tom, you wanted to talk about it as someone who has sort of ties to Nazi Germany.
He said, I appreciate the efforts of denouncing violence that you, Thomas, and Noah have put forward in your respective shows. It's still hard for me to see it your way.
My grandma, who I recently lost, survived the Blitz, and I was raised on the stories of the
horrors she faced during the war. The time the church windows were blown out by concussive waves
during choir practice. The dud filled with sawdust that fell behind her house while she was sleeping.
The torpedo that nearly hit her boat as she crossed the Atlantic, and on and on.
It's very difficult for me to see a Nazi getting punched as a bad thing. I don't want to promote violence. I just
have a hard time seeing it exactly from your perspective. I guess appropriately enough,
I'm experiencing some cognitive dissonance. I want to talk a little bit about this because
Cecil and I did talk ahead of time quite a bit about the Nazi punching thing.
One of the things you said is that you recognize the place of privilege we come to
when we have a dispassionate view of punching a Nazi.
And, you know, because I've never been the subject,
nobody in my family has ever been the subject
of Nazi-related violence, right?
Yeah.
So I think that that matters.
That matters in our ability to be dispassionate.
Sure, absolutely.
And I want to recognize that.
And you brought that to my attention.
I think that's a great point.
It is, you know, and we're talking about, you know,
whether or not certain people were pushed around or whatever.
And, you know, it could be that, you know,
some people have a much more,
a much different view of this than I do.
That being said, I don't live my life
based on a case-by-case basis, right?
We don't live our collective lives based on that.
We don't live our lawful lives based on that either, right?
Or our moral lives based on that.
Yeah, and that's the important distinction.
We've got to think about it this way.
We make rules based on law,
and we make rules based on morality.
And we make these rules, so to speak,
so that we can all act within them
and we can all try to be moral.
And I don't feel like there's ever really a moral stance
to be like, yeah, I should be able to punch somebody.
And now you may have a different experience in the world
that might change it.
Like, and you know, I cut this from last week,
but I was saying, look, if I had somebody,
you know, that was hurt by a not like, let's say
somebody like a Nazi killed my kid or something. I don't have a kid and I'm, you know, I'm not a
target of Nazis, but let's just say that happened. Yeah. I would want, I would want, and I said this
last time, I would want a butcher knife, a half an hour. And I would break that guy down like a
pork. I would be like, you know what? We're going to, we're just going to, we're going to put you, we're going to put a thing that's
like fucking Chuck roast a dollar 25 when I'm done. You know what I mean? Like I recognize the,
uh, the want to hurt someone who's hurt you. I recognize that I, I, I, it. And I can appreciate it in some way, right?
But I know that that's not a good way to act.
I recognize the father who's lost a kid to some serial killer wants that guy dead.
I recognize that. And I sympathize with that father.
But I don't think that that person should die by the state's hands or in any, you know, I don't support the death penalty.
I talked a little about terrorism last week. You know, ask yourself this, if you're
against torture, would you be okay if they, instead of doing like waterboarding or some,
something else, if they just punched the guy, would you be okay with that? As far as torture
goes in like Guantanamo Bay, would you be okay if they just walked in and started punching
the terrorist? Would you be cool with
that? Or a potential terrorist, right? Would that be something that you'd be okay with? Because if
you're okay with hitting a Nazi, then why wouldn't you be okay with hitting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
in the face? And the thing is, I'm against torture, and I do think punching is a form of torture,
right? You're inflicting serious bodily injury on someone. That's the definition of torture. And I do think punching is a form of torture, right? That's a, you're, you're inflicting serious bodily injury on someone. That's the definition of torture.
So I don't want to push back on that. I don't want to, I don't want to fight against that. I'm like,
I am 100% against hurting another human being unless it's in some way protecting you, right?
Like when we talk about in this particular story, you know, if somebody's, if somebody's in the blitz and they're fighting against Nazis, man, punch away, all bets are off.
Then I'm not saying like, Oh, well, you know, he came to my house and he had a gun and I'm not
going to punch. No. Yeah. If you're in danger, yeah, you should punch. But Richard Spencer
is standing on the sidelines. Yammering. Just talking. Yeah. If they'd ignored him,
nobody would have ever
heard his message.
If they would have just
walked on by,
how many people
would have heard his message?
Sure.
Yeah.
You strengthened his message
by giving him a sock.
How many people Googled
Richard Spencer
after this happened?
Yeah.
A fucking lot.
A lot of them.
You know what?
I did.
Yeah.
Never heard of him before.
Never heard of him before. I'd never heard of him before. But then this fucking blew up and I'm like could, you know what? I did. Yeah. Never heard of him before. Never heard of him before.
I'd never heard of him before, but then this fucking blew up and I'm like, oh, I wonder
who he is.
Yeah.
And now I'm not swayed, but other people Googled him that were.
Yep.
Yep.
So I feel like, and I also just disagree with, you know, like how we measure Nazis.
Like, I just don't understand how that happens.
Like how deep of a Nazi do you, how big of a Nazi do you have to be?
Seven Nazi units.
And that's the thing.
We, there's no way to, there's no way to measure that shit.
You're just like, well, you know, Richard Spencer is a perfect guy because he's an asshole.
It's actually measured in Jew teeth.
Yeah.
See how much they have.
But, you know, Richard Spencer is a, is the kind of guy that is easy to punch.
He's easy to look at and say, yeah, that guy makes the list.
Well, who doesn't make the list? Or who kind of
makes the list? Who almost makes the list?
It's really shaky
ground. Let's just not start punching people.
We got an image.
This is from Aaron, and Aaron
sent this in. We're going to put an image.
This is Trump as Colonel Clink,
and I really like it. It's really good.
It's going to go on this week's show notes.
We got a bunch of people sending us messages that said, hey, thanks for mentioning the Pink House in Mississippi.
It's the last place that has abortion.
It's the last abortion clinic in Mississippi, the Pink House.
So fucking.
So do a Google if you're going to be giving money away to Planned Parenthood or to abortion services.
Pink House might be somebody who you want to donate to.
We got a
great message from Jess.
And Jess sent in this long message. She was
very happy that she went out and
protested. A bunch of people did this.
They went out all over the country and protested.
But I want to read this great... She sent an
image. I'm not going to post the image.
But she did send an image with a great
sign with a
little girl holding it that says, When Vold image with a great, uh, a great sign with a little girl
holding it says when Voldemort is president, we need a nation of Hermione's. And I think it's so
cool. It's such a cool, uh, a cool way to get a kid involved too. I think, you know, it's just
such, it's such a brilliant sign. And she sent out a bunch of pictures. Thanks for sending your
pictures. Um, you know, we're so happy that you were able to go out there and sort of use your voice.
That's awesome.
Tom, we got a message from Marie.
And she said that she was on Obamacare.
And Obamacare kept her alive.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny because we met Marie at the picnic.
The picnic that we did a few years back. Yeah. Several years back. Yeah, you know, it's funny because we met Marie at the picnic, the picnic that we did a few years back, several years back.
And so this is somebody that has a genuine, like has a personal connection with us and with the show.
And she requires diabetes medication in order to be alive.
Yeah.
Right.
And she tells a story.
I don't want to get too detailed.
She tells a story about how much her life would cost without this medication. And basically whatever happens here in the next however many months with Obamacare and whatever gets put in place of Obamacare could mean life or death for somebody that we know.
Like somebody who came out to support you and I in our efforts, in our little creative effort.
And it is an atrocity to me that somebody would look in their refrigerator someday and count the little vials of life-saving medication they have and wonder how much longer they get to live because some shithead politician decided to pull the rug out from under them to save a few bucks.
Yeah, yeah.
It's funny.
We got a message from Luke.
And Luke said it's kind of Luke.
I'm going to summarize his message.
He's basically saying it's kind of hilarious that Trump is is is not releasing his tax returns.
But didn't he go after Obama for not releasing his birth certificate?
And yeah, there should be somebody who does the exact same thing to Trump that Trump did to Obama.
Just follows him around, just run him constantly, talks about it, go on all the different news channels and talk about how he won't release it. So we want to thank Dan Errol for joining us. Be sure to check out his blog,
Danthropology, and check out his book, Secular Activism. It's available online. You can also
check out this week's show notes, and you can buy a copy through the links there. Dan was nice
enough to come and join us. We had recorded with Dan in the past
and the file got messed up.
So we want to thank Dan for coming on
and being patient with us.
Thank you so much.
That's going to wrap it up for this week.
We're going to leave you like we always do though
with the Skeptic's Creed.
Credulity is not a virtue.
It's fortune cookie cutter,
mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.
Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating,
pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead,
pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment.
Rain, dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment.
Leo, Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards,
psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine
nuts, shaman healers, evangelists,
conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.
Expose your sides.
Thrust your hands.
Bloody.
Evidential.
Conclusive.
Doubt even this. of Glory Hole Studios LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy,
completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be
liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is
provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local Dairy Council
and viewers like you.
Hello?
Hello! Hello? Hello.
This is...
It's turning out to be a good conversation.
Dan is an amazing conversationalist so far.
Hello.
Is it me you're looking for?
Hello from the other side.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Every one of her songs is the same song.
Every song is a sad song.
Every song is the same song.
Just like, hey, you're gone.
And, you know, I'm real sad.
And I'm going to see if you want to.
No, you're good.
Okay.
All right.
I'm good, too.
I mean, but I was not.
I mean, you want it?
No, forget it.
So sad.
But my voice sounds lovely while I'm so sad.
Oh, man.
I'll just carry his side of the conversation.
I have a blog called Danthropology.
Ask me some questions.
Okay.
So how long have you been involved with the Danthropology blog, Tom?
I have been involved with the Danthropology blog since 9.58pm this evening when I
took over administrative rights.
I'm killing it, though.
Hello? Did he hang up on us?
Dan? Dan, we love
you.
The best part is, look,
I don't know if he can hear us.
I don't know. Maybe he can.
This is the most technical.
I know.
We've had the most problems with Dan.
It's amazing.
Dan has been.
Dan's like a gremlin.
He touches technology and just disintegrates.
If you put water on him, you get more Dan's.
Maybe we fed him after midnight.
It could be.
It could be.
Dan. Hello, be. Dan.
Hello, Dan.
We heard a click.
Dan, are you speaking exclusively in clicks?
Click twice if you're in danger.
Dan, are you speaking Bushman?
You're so close.
I saw a click.
I saw it move.
You're right there, man.
You twiddled my my my
button there put the thing in the other thing plug the stuff into the twos it or whatever you
gotta do the worst part is he probably i'm sure he can't hear us well i hope he can't
oh he can hear us damn it god damn it now be Dan. Okay, so Dan is a great guy who has a Danthropology blog.
We should cancel this interview.
This is not my forte.
Oh, Dan.
All right.
He's trying to figure it out.
It's cool.
No pressure, Dan.
No big deal.
No, I've literally all night.
Yeah, we're just chilling.
Is it you, Adele?
I love you!
Come back to me! Where's Dan? Is it you, Adele? I love you!
Come back to me!
Where's Dan?
He's out punching a Nazi.
Can't come to the phone right now.
I heard a click.
I heard a series of clicks and beeps.
Well, not really beeps, but clicks at least.
There's clicks.
I see them.
Something's going on.
You've nearly found the clitoris, Dan.
It's higher than you think it is. If you whistle while you work.
Just start making letters and find what she likes.
Stop at uppercase T.
That's always a good one.
No?
I've had good success
with a G,
but you get tired.
G?
Like, it's just a...
Uppercase or lowercase?
My goodness.
You know what you gotta do
is old-timey A.
I do a cursive Z.
There's all these curly Qs and shit.
Oh, man.
You got to do like three of them.
It's Z, Z, Z.
Either she's asleep or she pops one or the other.
Or she has a long beard.
We call that the Rip Van Winkle.
It never lasts that long.
I'm going to be out of jokes.
It's a little hard to play off of clicks and buses.
It's fine.
I'm used to people being silent on that.
I'm sure you are. Tell me you love it.
Tell me you love it.
Just don't roll your eyes.
Who's your favorite new kid?
If you're going to roll your eyes your favorite new kid if you're gonna roll your eyes please close them first so i don't have to see this is awesome though this is this is this is exact this is payback this is exactly because
we had that interview we thought it went great and now this is the payback yeah
dan just like yeah i'll be on your show you fuckers again the second time i'm sorry he's like you can't delete my audio if i
don't give you any audio can you still hear us i see you're typing yeah you can still hear us okay
all right so we'll start the interview we'll just read your response recording live from gloryhole
studios introducing a series of clicks
and beeps. It's Dan.
It's all good, man. It's just the robot
from Short Circuit. However long it takes,
no worries.
This is the most fucking ill-fated
interview we have ever done. It was going to be
a good interview, too. I feel like we were
going to do a great job. Maybe the best interview.
This could have been the best. Tremendous. So good. You wouldn't believe how good interview too. I mean, it was really going to do a great job. Maybe the best interview. This could have been the best. Tremendous.
So good. You wouldn't believe how
good it is. All the best people. It was going to get so good.
Dan was going to be sick of how good
it was going to get.
He's getting lots of attention that
he deserves.
Dan is the new
Frederick Douglass.
How's that abolitionist movement going?
Jesus Christ.
What a national disaster that guy is.
He's a fucking tit.
Good Lord.
I mean, just when he's like, he's getting so much attention lately.
Frederick Douglass.
Frederick Douglass.
Getting lots of extra attention.
Getting a lot of attention.
Oh, we're hearing something.
A clicking.
We're getting some kind of sounds, you know, like.
Lots of clicking.
Whatever you're plugging by the other thing, try wiggling it by the other stuff.
It's sounding like when they leave the baby monitors on
scary movies and they're like
I'm coming for you.
Okay.
I hear something.
Dan, I hear something.
Kind of. Dan? I think I hear like
a chair fucking something.
I'm hearing a click.
It sounds like the fucking Blair Witch Project.
Like somebody's like slapping at the tent.