Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 346: Liveshow: Trump Conference Debacle

Episode Date: March 2, 2017

Here's a mid-week show to help all of us process the Trump Conference debacle.   

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. so this is the live show that was recorded on februth. We recorded it after, it was a couple days after Trump's press conference. And it is essentially that. It's just us reviewing what Trump says and then talking about it. We cut his press conference down into much shorter chunks. I want to say it turned out to be about 17 minutes worth of stuff that we covered. The show itself was broadcast live and it is available on YouTube and on live stream.

Several people had requested that this actually get loaded onto our feed as a Thursday show. It, of course, comes with all of the problems that a live performance has, which is there's some visual things you're just not going to be involved in if you don't see the video. And you get it. I'm not I didn't add out any of the stuff that happens during the show. So sometimes there may be we might go off tangent or there's pauses and things like that. And this is just stuff that would normally be on the cutting room floor is not in this particular episode. So you'll see this is not this is not exactly how we normally record. episode. So you'll see this is not exactly how we normally record. If you want to check out the live stream, the video itself, you can go to YouTube, our YouTube channel, which is linked on the episode show notes, or you can go onto the live stream itself. Live stream, you can watch all

our old live streams. They stay up in perpetuity. So you can watch the old live streams as you see fit. But we had a great time. We really had a great time interacting with the audience in sort of a real-time situation. It was a lot of fun and we hope you enjoy it. It's going to be a little weird listening to only audio, but we hope that it's worthwhile enough to post on our feed. streaming live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way We bring critical thinking, skepticism And irreverence To any topic that makes the news Makes it big or makes us mad

It's skeptical It's political And there is no Cecil Cecil! Yeah! We are live, we're doing a live event It is live, you should be here You should be here.

You should be here. You can't actually make... Sorry, I was just... I was just punching a Nazi. Again? Yeah. Again. And this is what happens to you. You get a swollen pillow.

This is what happens to you. When you... When you wail it away at the Nazis. These are Ishmael's hands, actually. I just... I just borrowed them. I just dyed them. I dyed them white. You got like black.

We have the white version of blackface. There we go. This is going to be the whole hour. I would watch that. I would watch this for an hour. I feel like a DJ. These things are so hot. You have no idea how hot these are

we're not doing the whole show with the fucking pillow hands good lord no all right well i don't blame you all right so as mentioned we are live live from glory hole studios cheers stream here we go uh suck it up this is what we look like. Let's watch a podcast, guys. Yay. So today we have planned a bit of a Trump press conference.

He did the press conference. He did. It's about 14 hours long, so you did have to edit it down for time. I got about 20 minutes of tape to do. Do you want to just jump right into it and then maybe we could cover a portion of it and then maybe look at the comments and then continue on? Do you want to try that way? Yeah, why not?

I don't have better plans. This is kind of my thing today. Right. This was it. Okay, all right. That's fair. I came prepared in that I woke up and came here. So... So not prepared. That's pretty much... That is my standard level of preparation. So not prepared. That's pretty much. That is my standard level of preparation. Not prepared. All right. All right. Fair enough. Okay. So here we go. Let's let me, let me zoom in.

Hold on a minute. I am, I am like not only the key grip, the best boy and the gaffer, but I am also you ate the key and the entire craft service. If they could run faster than they'd be here today, looking in the land of the walking dead, I'm just fine, right? How's our sound stream? Just tell us. Just tell us if our sound sucks. I'm going to be playing a video here for you in a second, and if you can't hear it, let us know.

I just camera, dude. Did you camera it up? I am great at this. Alright, so we're going to start playing it. This is Donald Trump from his press conference. We're going to stop probably right after the first break or when Tom stops me. We've begun a nationwide effort to remove criminal aliens, gang members, drug dealers, and others. Criminal aliens? Criminal aliens.

Are those the criminal aliens? Are those the ones that we picked up right around Area 51? They're rounding up all the greys and handcuffs. They gotta have really thin little... Do you know what they use? They use finger cuffs. They're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck. E.T. is like, I can't speak and say.

I've mastered the challenges of interstellar travel, but I am befuddled by your crazy finger traps. Can we not? You got to zoom in, buddy. You got to zoom in. I'm busy trying not to vomit. I know.

He's very orange. He's almost as orange as the background. They should have picked a different color background, right? Like contrast. How about some... You know what they should have picked?

A black background. He could have had pumpkin. He could have gotten the whole... That's very true. He doesn't like black things. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. He could have had pumpkin. He could have gotten the whole thing. That's very true. He doesn't like black things. Let's be honest. He would just arrest it. We'll put this here. It has no business being here. Oh my God. All right, here we go. It's a threat to public safety.

We are saving American lives every single day. And we're doing that, Cecil, by making that statement up. That's how we're saving lives, right? We're saving lives. You know, we're traveling to work in a Zeppelin. It's not happening. Just what other crazy fucking madcap shit can I say? It's funny because they seem to neglect the fact that Obama spent his entire presidency.

Saving lives? Deporting people. Fair enough. Deporting people. Yeah, he did. I mean, there's been massive amounts of people deported during the Obama administration. I was rounded up and deported just by accident. That was no accident.

They said it was an accident. They had to tranq you with a rifle gun. He's still running. He's still... Look at that. It doesn't... He seems to... He's trying to drink the tranquilizer juice.

It hits you. You just pop it. You're like... You squeeze a little lime in it. You're like, this is good shit. You get all Alex Jones crazy. You're like... This is the best part of this statement.

It's very short. This is the last piece of this beginning portion though. It's very short. So this is the last piece of this beginning portion. The court system has not made it easy for us and are even creating a new office in Homeland Security dedicated to the forgotten American victims of illegal immigrant violence, of which there are many. Oh, God. Do we need a thing like a special immigration victims unit? Do we need that?

It's just a list of people to feel sad about. Right. Right? All this is, like we talked about this before in the first 100 days nightmare, which he's doing all this.

Like he is executing on his first hundred days. Sure. Absolutely. He's doing a good job executing people in the first hundred days. So, but this is a vilification plan. Like, this is like, if, if you could actually put together a department of Brown people vilification program, that's like exactly what he's got going on right now. Right. Because he's got, it's not good. Well, it's like, it's like exactly what he's got going on right now. Right. Because he's got, it's not good. Well, it's like, it's like a twofold thing now though.

Right. Cause he's got on the one hand, he's got like, here's a list of, of, of the undesirables. Right. Cause he's going to make the list of undesirables for the sanctuary cities.

And then he's going to make a list over here called, here's the list of people who got killed by the undesirable. Sure, sure. And we've shown that that population of people that are victimized by immigrants is a small group because the immigrants by and large, I mean, obviously there are immigrants that are illegal immigrants that are committing crimes. That's a true thing that's happening, right? But you also have to understand that the rate at which they're committing crimes. That's a true thing that's happening, right? But you also have to understand that the rate at which they're committing crimes is much lower than the normal population. But they're going out of their way to make a distinction about these people to turn them

into the other. Right, as if their immigrant status is the impetus for their violence. Sure. It'd be like if you take any group and you put enough people in it, it doesn't matter what the, you know, what's the categorizing factor, right? It could be like people with handlebar mustaches. If there were 11 million people with handlebar mustaches, right?

Twist to twist. This is the, and the best part is, is that people can see it. Now they can see our jokes. People can see it. This is the international symbol for handlebar can see it. People can see it. This is the international symbol for handlebar mustache. Handlebar mustache.

Right here. Yeah. That's an American sign language handlebar mustache. Handlebar mustache sign. Right there. If you have a big one, it's two hands. Can you imagine if there were 11 million people with handlebar mustaches, how much better the world would be? It would be fucking killer.

It'd be better than 11 million people with Ditka mustaches. Street sweeper or whatever we called them last time walking around with a fucking walrus face alright well let's play a little more of this do we have any comments that are coming up there for you anyway? you know the problem is my comments thing it pops up and they flash. They go away.

We got Megan who's working on that. Megan's got this covered. Megan's got it covered. We'll come back to comments in a bit. I have faith. There's a pause in the John thing. Thank you, Mr. President. I just want to get you to clarify.

I like how they film his bald spot. Like, wouldn't that suck to be that guy? It's like everybody's a little self-conscious on camera. Anyway, it's like, can you get this spot? Like my male pattern? I don't want,

I don't want it in focus. I want a soft, slow focus. I want like a really artsy picture of my bald spot. If you could do that. I'd be like, if you do it porn, it's like,

yeah, can you fuck, can you fucking zoom in on this, on the pimple on my ass? Oh, I use a prime lens on my balls. Can you say definitively that nobody on your campaign had any contacts with the Russians during the campaign and on the leaks?

Okay. Well, that's a real straightforward question. But I want to say first, he could have stopped at, can you say definitively? Right? Because what we will find, I want to make this point, like what we will find in this 20-minute nightmare that you edited together is that he can't say definitively. First of all, I don't think he could say

the word properly, but also he can't actually say anything definitive at all. It's just ridiculous. Somebody said you don't have to keep zooming in. Keep it simple for Tom. We can see it well enough.

All right, that's fine. That's fine by me. If you guys think you're okay have to keep zooming in. Keep it simple for Tom. We can see it well enough. That's fine by me. If you guys think you're okay. We can zoom in on Trump and Gary's face. Or we can just leave it zoomed out if you want to see our horrifying visages. Send a message to Tom at this stream. This machine will tell me what to do.

Cheers stream. Somebody says, hey, this sounds better. My dumb ass didn't have headphones in. I can't hear it without these speakers in my ears. I would like to whale come all the people to our stream. Whale come. Whale come.

To Gloria. Whale come. Someone sent that this week. It's amazing. It's now a centerpiece of the studio. What type of beer do I have? It's Spotted Cow. Nucleus. Did they ask what kind of 9mm you have?

It is a.40 caliber. I don't carry around a pussy gun. Oh, no. Here we go. Sorry. Is it fake news or are these real leaks? Two straightforward questions. Is it fake news or are these real leaks? Two straightforward questions.

Is it fake news or are these real leaks? Because it seems like they can't be both, right? Oh, well, we'll find out. Again, again, again, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Those two things seem pretty straightforward. And then does anybody in anybody, anybody in the administration have any wrongdoing in this? Those are two pretty straightforward questions. Well, the leaks are real. You're the one that wrote about them and reported straightforward questions. Well, the leaks are real.

You're the one that wrote about them and reported them. I mean, the leaks are real. I'm getting feedback. Need more Cecil? You're a little off cam. Oh, am I? I'll scoot in.

Sorry about that, guys. I'm just, I'm camera shy. And that's how it's set up. It's kind of like a little, am I better now? Yeah, it's much better. It's better in the sense that I can see more of you

on the screen. I can see more. I liked it better the other way. I actually right it's better in the sense that i can see more of you on the screen i could see more i liked it better the other way i actually liked it better when you were behind the fucking curtain i liked it better when you were wearing the gloves those turned me on all right here we go burka you know what they said you saw it and the leaks are absolutely real the news is fake because so much of the news is fake. Okay, let's analyze that sentence. The news is fake because so much of the news is fake. There's a word for this. I think it's circular reasoning. It's called doublespeak.

Like, this is fucking insane. The news is fake because the news is fake. All right, well, is this particular news fake? Is he suggesting that all news is fake? I think he is. I think he is. Is he just saying there's no credibility at all? In which case, why have a press conference? If there's no purpose to credibility in journalism, then why meet with journalists whatsoever? Right. Right. Because clearly, I mean, the answer is clearly he needs to control the narrative.

And this is his attempt. Think about that for a second. Let that ride in the back of your mind. When you say his attempt, he controls the fuck out of this narrative. You think so? I absolutely, I do. Look at all the right tweets that came out. Ann Coulter, after this, after this press conference went live said, you know, we elected a president, but now I see it. We elected the head of the church. Like she's on board. She loves this guy.

She thinks that him lying to the media during this thing, specifically saying bad, like false things, and the liberal press pointing it out and sort of getting a little up in arms about it was hilarious. She thinks that's a good thing.

Ouch. I'm trying. I'm trying to take everything you said and I'm trying to digest. Yeah, that's the sound that is going to be made. You won't hear it though. Good. You don't hear the blast.

You never hear the blast. I want the missile to hit me in my face. You never hear the blast. That's what I want. I want to be like, oh, missile, boom. And I want it to hit my face. You never hear the blast. Good.

You'll feel the light. That's all I need. For about a half a second while you incinerate. That's how this light. That's all I need. For about a half a second while you incinerate. That's how this works. That's all I get? Okay. Yeah. I'm actually good with this.

That's when Ann Coulter takes her top off. That's what happens. All right. Here we go. That I felt it was very important to do. And I hope we can correct it. By killing all of you. I hope we can correct the fake news.

I will tweet out some more fake news to try to correct the fake news problem. I have set up correction facilities for you to be entered into. There's nobody I have more respect for. Well, maybe a little bit. Then reporters, then good reporters. It's very important to me.

Hold on a second. I'm looking at the wrong thing. There we go. She made a wrong thing. There we go. All right. Do we have questions? No.

Megan is on the road right now. So Megan's going to be showing up back home and going to be putting questions in right now. We're going to be watching a little of this before we get to some listener feedback. But the thing that I was looking at, a thing came across the screen that said, this has been thrown in the trash. So I was reading a document that's clearly not updating. Okay.

And I can't edit that out of the show. Pretty much. Hey, this is behind the scenes. Look at the terrible podcast. You're picking behind the scenes of the glory hole? That is never a good idea. That is never a good idea. That is never a good idea. The only thing back there is welcome.

Just some fucking toothless hillbilly dude like, hey. It's not hey. No. All right, play that thing. It's very important. I don't mind bad stories. I can handle a bad story better than anybody. As long as it's true. And, you know, over a course of time, I'll make mistakes and you'll write anybody. As long as it's true.

And, you know, over a course of time, I'll make mistakes and you'll write badly. And I'm okay with that. No, you're not. Yeah. No, you're not. He's not okay with it. He's a thin-skinned fucking baby. Right. And, you know, it took me a second to realize that he doesn't, we were talking about this earlier.

What's astonishing to me is he doesn't understand the difference between fake news and news that is critical of him. Yeah. He won't make that distinction this entire time. Because the question is, is the news real or is this news fake, right? Is this fake news or is this real news? And he's saying, like, sometimes you're going to write things about me that I won't like to read because my feelings will get hurt because you'll be a meanie to me. That's what he, and this is, that's the whole thing he's saying. Yeah.

He cannot differentiate between when people are critical of him and fake news. Just let that sink in for a second. Also, he's the leader of America. He thinks he's distinct. He's making a distinction. Right. He's not making a distinction. He keeps going back to, look, you can write a story about me that disagrees with me, and it doesn't have to be.

And it sounds like what he's saying is it doesn't have to be so mean. Right. Why does everybody have to be so mean? And you'll hear that as time goes on. Right. But I'm not okay when it is fake. I mean, I watch CNN. This is a perfect example of this.

He's going to start talking about how much they hate him. And it's so much anger and hatred and just the hatred. I don't watch it anymore because it's- Well, you just said you watched it. Sometimes when I watch CNN, which I don't watch, I never said I watched it, but when I watch it- Sarah Palin, how many papers do you read? Right?

I read them all. I read literally all the papers. I'm reading one right now. He sits with Sarah not reading the paper together. Right? They just stare at Russia from her porch. Manipulating the election together. Very good. He's saying no.

It's okay, Jim. It's okay, Jim. You'll have your chance. The context. All right. I did edit this. I know if you guys, you guys, I'm sure saw the edit there. I wanted to edit for time because there's a lot of times that he just says the same thing over and over and over again.

And this is still going on to the same question. He hasn't answered the question. All he said was they asked if the news was real or the leaks were real, basically. And then he asked, does anybody have any part of your— Does anybody in your administration know about the ties with Russia? Right. He didn't answer the first question. He didn't understand the first question. So they didn't understand the second question. But the reporter is now going to abandon ship

and go back to that first question because he didn't even didn't even address it. The Russian, the first part of my question, the context, can you definitively say that nobody? Well, I had nothing to do with it. I have nothing to do with Russia. I told you, I have no deals there. How do we know? We haven't seen your tax return, buddy. Gosh, if we only saw your tax return, we would know for sure that you have no deals in Russia, but you kind of are the guy with the art of the deal. Right. And so maybe you do have deals in Russia. How the fuck would we know? Well, and it's still a bullshit answer because the question was, is anybody in your administration? No. And he's like, I don't know. You know, it's just that plausible deniability

bullshit, right? I don't know anything about it. You get your staff to do some things because of a wink and a nudge and like, ah, yeah. And then you don't know, right? Come on. I have no anything. Now, when WikiLeaks, which I had nothing to do with, comes out and happens to give,

they're not giving classified information. Happens to give, they're not giving classified. Just finish a sentence. Finish a whole sentence where it starts at the beginning and then you don't meander aimlessly and then you arrive at your conclusion. See, what I just did there?

That was a sentence. That's a full one. You start with the thought and then you stay on that thought until you've completed that thought. It can't be that hard. His thoughts aren't that complex. I can't be that hard. His thoughts aren't that complex. I keep thinking about Donald Trump's character sheet, right? So

Donald, and they have all the little spheres, the spheres where you put things, right? Like, so how much, you know, charisma do I have and how much dexterity do I have and how much strength do I have? Zero. All those things. Let's go back to Donald Trump. How much charisma he has, and then you talk about how much, say, intelligence he has. And the intelligence is pretty low, but it doesn't matter because all these other stats he's boosted. He's boosted his finances real high. Right, exactly, right.

He's boosted all these other stats. So I keep feeling like he has deficiencies in certain things because he's boosted all the other levels of today. He's min-maxed his character. All right. So Megan is there. So she will be posting comments. So we will be stopping soon to answer a few comments. They're giving stuff what was said in an office about Hillary cheating on the debates,

which, by the way, nobody mentions. Why are we talking about Hillary cheating on the debates? You asked a question about whether or not you have ties to Russia or people in your in your administration have ties to Russia. And you answer with Hillary got the debate sheet before I did or Hillary got it. I didn't get it right. Hillary cheated. Yeah. Who gives a fuck? She's not pressed. She's not even in part of politics anymore. It clearly didn't do her any good. Yeah.

Right. So even if this were the case, which I don't know that this is the case, I don't know. But even if I actually, I had not heard that until just now, but even if this were the case, it didn't do her any fucking good.

You're the president. You've been the president for an unsettling amount of time already. Right. Like anything over 10 seconds is an unsettling amount of time. Again, I have this grotesque feeling that I'm living in an alternate version of reality that never should have been. You know what I mean?

Like that, when you look around, you're like, how could any, how, none of this, how, how? Like all of that, but it's, okay, so she gets, are you pouring that into your teacup? Are you pouring beer into a teacup? This is tea.

I'm drinking. I'm drinking. I'm the smart one. I'm drinking tea. But okay. So she gets the thing you win and then you're still bitching. It's like, okay. So somebody had a head start on you in the race and you won the race.

You just want it more much. You want it harder. Big. Like, right. Like, should you fucking celebrate it? Trump, you want it harder big like right like shouldn't you fucking celebrate it trump you want it harder big you know what i mean like it's so fucking crazy uh here we go nobody mentions that hillary received the questions to the debates. Can you imagine? Seriously. Can you imagine if I received the questions? You wouldn't have done any good.

You wouldn't have. First of all, you wouldn't have run up. What's it matter? Because all you would have done was start chanting, lock her up. Like that's all I would have said. And it wouldn't have mattered, right?

You would have been snarky and shitty. She's a nasty woman. So nasty. Nasty. This will not backfire on me. Call her Miss Jackson. She's so nasty. Nasty. This will not backfire on me. Call her Miss Jackson. She's so nasty. Would be the electric chair.

Okay, I edited that because I really like, I really just love the idea of Donald in an electric chair. God. I didn't mean that. I don't mean that he should be in an electric chair. He's the president of the United States. He should be respected. I think he would look great in an electric chair. I would the president of the United States. He should be respected. I think he would look great

in an electric chair. I would have edited that out of the show. What color would he turn? Like, that'd be the interesting thing. Burnt sienna. Part of me wonders if he's not this color

because he's just a human mood ring. It's just... You know, like, he wakes up and he's just like, he's blue and he like turns orange throughout the course of the day. As is, because this is not,

that's not how you face. He's like a squid. He just changes colors throughout the day, but he shows us the orange one. Maybe that's what's happening with those curtains right now. He's trying to camouflage himself.

All you can see is a suit at some point. It's like a green screen. He's going to like, all of a sudden, you're just going to see the suit, that the suit's going to go, as he takes it off,

and he runs away. Morgan S. says, his son even said that Russia makes up a disproportionate amount of their assets, so which one is it? And I don't know if I've heard his son say that.

I didn't know, yeah. But again, all these things would be elucidated. Only there was some way to know, right? All these things would be elucidated if he were to release his tax returns. If we knew how much of his fortune is invested in certain places. Because, you know, throughout history, presidents have divested themselves from their own fortunes in order to take the office and not look like they're just going to profit off of it blind, like just profit off of it like crazy.

And that's what he's, he's specifically not doing that. Yeah. He's aggressively not doing that. Just something that Jonathan Karl was asking you about. You said that the leaks are real, but the news is fake. Yeah. He didn't answer that question earlier. I know.

He didn't answer that question earlier. I love that the reporters are doing this. I love that they're like, wait a minute. Your answer was meaningless. So let's go back and ask it again. Also, you said something that's inherently internally contradictory. So can you explain to us

how that could possibly be a thing? This makes you crazy. It is really irking the shit out of me. I know. I did this on purpose. I did it specifically so you would be crazy. Because we have beer mugs. We literally have beer mugs in the other room.

I could have at 11 o'clock today. I could have put it in the freezer and had a chilled beer mug. But I'm drinking it out of my Arecibo mug. That is upsetting. It's upsetting to me. I don't know why, but it's just... It's terrible beer, though. It doesn't matter.

This is the worst beer. It is not the worst beer. God, Spotted Cow. How horrible. I'll literally shoot you. Stan, it seems that there's a disconnect there. If the information coming from those leaks is real, then how can the stories be fake?

No, the reporting is fake. Look, look. What does that mean? The reporting is fake. When you call it out and you say the thing out loud that was real, then how can the stories be fake? No, the reporting is fake. What does that mean? The reporting is fake. When you call it out and you say the thing out loud that was real, then I don't like it. It becomes fake. That's how it works. Next question. I just want to ask you. Tim, you know what it is?

I'll just interrupt you. The public isn't, you know, they read newspapers, they see television, they watch. They see television, they watch. You are fucking fucking he is verbally illiterate it's an astonishing skill there's a guy by the name of pacman um different kind of pacman who has a internet show he just had andrew torres on his internet show never heard of of him. And he, somebody sent us a video of him dissecting Trump reading things aloud,

trying to read things aloud. And Pakman's claim, at least from his video, at least from what I, and I watched the whole thing, Yeah. is that Trump is illiterate. Like actually illiterate.

Like actually illiterate. I don't think that's the case. From watching him do this, because they hand him a lease at one point in a court, and he's trying to read the lease, right? He's trying to read the lease. Right. And they ask him, please read section 2A aloud.

And he makes a big hem and haw. I can't do it because of my glasses. I don't have my glasses, you know? And then the guy, the lawyer tries to, I strenuously object, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mr. Trump knows what's in there. Yeah, da, da, da. And so then they finally get him to ask him the questions to try to read it, blah, blah, blah, blah. Mr. Trump knows what's in there. Yeah, da, da, da. And so then they finally get him

to ask him the questions to try to read it, and he summarizes it for them. So he doesn't read it aloud. Instead, he says, basically, I owe them this and this and this. And then he mentions a very specific law in the second section. I don't remember what the law is,

but he says something that is clearly jargon about real estate. And when I saw that, what popped in my head is that he probably doesn't read aloud well, but I do think he's literate. I just think the way he speaks in front of the public extemporaneously is embarrassing. It is embarrassing, and he should be embarrassed to do it. You should be embarrassed to do the things you're very bad at doing. I am embarrassed to have sex with people.

I am terrible at it. Right. So they're embarrassed for you. You know, it's just, I'm just like, it's a series of just apologies. They're red from bruises.

And you're just, and, and, and then shame. I'm so sorry. The guy's name is David Packman. Most of this will clean up. It's fine.

Yeah. There'll be very little scarring. I'm going to dab a little of this on you. You just drink lots of water. It's fine. Okay. Hold on a second. I want to read this.

All right. 76% of Germans consider Trump's foreign policy as bad or very bad. Oh, my God. consider Trump's foreign policy as bad or very bad. That's fake news. That's a poll that's against Trump. It's fake news. He tweeted something out like that. Whenever you read a poll that's against him. I know, he said something.

I don't know exactly what it was, but it was awesome. If it hates me, it's bad. Seriously, it's like anytime you hear that, a wizard did it. Post that tweet, guys, in the comments. We'll have Megan put it in the notes. I want to read that tweet, though. All right, so here we go. Know if it's true or false.

Because they're not involved. I'm involved. I've been involved with this stuff all my life. But I'm involved. You've been involved with what your whole life? This stuff. What, like reading the newspaper? This stuff. Is he talking about reading the newspaper, Tom? I think he've been involved with what your whole life? This stuff. What, like reading the newspaper? This stuff.

Is he talking about reading the newspaper, Tom? I think he's been involved with this stuff. No, but what is he talking? What is this stuff? I don't know what that means. Hold on. This stuff. Not just stuff.

Thanks for clarifying. This stuff. The stuff with the reading the newspaper, TV, you see it, then you watch it. Isn't that that white stuff that they ate and they got belly aches from in that movie? The stuff? Come? You don't know. I don't know what you're talking about.

Whale come? It's on Pornhub. I don't know if they get a bellyache after. I don't take a poll with what I feel next day. You gotta Google it. So I know when you're telling the truth or when you're not. I just see many, many untruthful things. Untruthful. That's my favorite part

of this. Untruthful. More than one truth and we're full of them and they're un. I like how much plosives are going in tone. Tone. Tone. Tone. Wait a second. I want to see if nobody's posted that yet. Alright.

Hatred. I'm really not a bad person by the way no but the tone is why doesn't everybody like me why do we segue to that who gives a fuck do your job be my friend nobody cares god jesus i'm so worried about whether or not people like me god that's because he's a fucking celebrity i know that's why right because he was always worried about whether or not people like me. God, that's because he's a fucking celebrity. I know. That's why, right? Because he was always worried about ratings before. He's worried about whether and like, they like me. They really, really like me. Like he fucking is worried about whether or not to get an Emmy. Yeah.

He's going to get an Emmy for this role. He wants a prize, right? I think, I think, I think what a part of his problem he's going to have, other than that, he will ruin the entire country and possibly the world. But other than that, is that, is that he won the big prize, right? The big prize was now you're the president and now there's no second prize. Now the prize is now you just have to do a really good job and nobody's really going to like you or appreciate you because the world's full of a bunch of fucking pedantic critics, right? And he is going to lose his full fucking mind over this.

It's going to be week to week. He's going to have a real problem with the way people are criticizing. Oh, for sure. Yeah. There's a Time Magazine article that someone posted in the comments. And I can't really slide it over when this is full screen. So let me get this off full screen. This Time Magazine article has Donald Trump's many, many, many ties to Russia.

Many, many, many, many.. Many, many, many, many. I missed the many. That's awesome. There's four many. Hold on. Somebody edited this at time was like, many? No. Many, many?

Too many. Many, many, many? Keep going. But the quote evidently from Donald Trump Jr. is in this article. And this is in the comments right now. So if you want to read it, that's a great picture, by the that's a great picture by the way. All right, here we go. We're going to, that's a horror show. I do get good ratings. You have to admit that the tone is such hatred. I watched this morning, a couple of the network, and I have to say Fox and friends in the morning,

a couple of the networks. And I have to say, Fox and Friends in the morning, they're very honorable people. They're honorable people. What, did they challenge somebody to a duel? Good sir, they take off their glove.

Throw it at his feet. They're fucking honorable. What are they, samurai? You, sir, offend me. Like somebody gets, somebody makes a mistake, like, I will commit supple, Fox and Friends. Like, somebody makes a mistake. Like, yeah, I will commit.

Like what? All right. So this is, this is the tweet. I'm going to put this on the screen. Let's see if this will come up. This is the tweet. I want to read it.

I want to read it. Any negative polls are fake news. Just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting. I only want extreme vetting when I'm searching for it on Pornhub. That's the only time I want extreme vetting. Because you don't. Yeah. I want to get into publishing pornography that is extreme vetting porn.

What would that even look like? Oh, I got ideas. Isn't that great, though? Any negative polls are fake. And then he went out this last week and he sent a message. The Trump-Pence group sent a message to all the people that

sort of followed them or went on an email list. Take this poll about the media. And it's all like, do you think the media sucks? Giant donkey. It's the best poll I read it. I read through it. I didn't fill it out, but I read through it. Super. Yes. It's like list all the stations you, you, uh, you listen to or whatever. And it's like MSNBC, CNN, Fox, and then like other, like it was, it was a very funny poll. I looked through it and I was like, that's ridiculous. Well, the next day, his camp had to come out and say the poll has been rated by Democrats. And so now we can't use this poll.

We're starting a new one. They threw out the results from the first one because he wants to get right data that reinforces his opinion that says that that news is fake. And there's a bunch of people on there that are saying, no, the news isn't fake, dude. And a bunch of people are coming on to downvote. To challenge us nonsense. Yeah, challenge it. All right, let me play this. I'm sorry.

I'm going to close it up. All right, here's Donald Trump's orange face. Is that good? Because they hit me also when I do something. They never hit. They fucking, they want you to finish on their face, you liar. They're, they fucking, they want you to finish on their face, you liar. Right.

They're constantly like fucking ready to fucking go as deep as you want if I choke out and die. I don't even care. But they have the most honest morning show. That's all I can say.

It's the most honest. But the tone, Jim, if you look, the hatred, the, I mean, sometimes, sometimes somebody gets,

the guy in the audience just said, we don't hate you, sir. Right. That's what he said. And so I don't even know if Donald Trump... He just blows past that. He just kind of blows past that. Yeah, he doesn't.

Yeah. Well, you look at your show that goes on at 10 o'clock in the evening. You just take a look at that show. That is a constant hit. The panel is almost always exclusive anti-Trump. The good news is he doesn't have good ratings.

What I just love is just like, the good news is nobody likes you. We get that on YouTube all the time. When stuff like this posts, people will comment on YouTube and be like, yeah, look at your subscriber count. Sucks on YouTube. That's because your message is bald. And you'll be like, yeah, well, YouTube is in our venue.

It's not our venue. Who cares? And it doesn't even matter. You're not refuting the point, right? You're just saying nobody likes you. Who cares if his ratings are bad? His ratings are bad. It's an irrelevancy. Is that a word?

Irrelevant. It's irrelevant. Irrelevancy is a word. Okay. I just made it up. Yeah. Even if it's not, I just made it up. It's irrelevant to whether or not his points are true, right?

Whether or not the people on your show are telling the truth, are doing a good job, et cetera, that doesn't matter how good your ratings are. C-SPAN has a lot of great shit. Nobody watches C-SPAN. Nobody, nobody. The only one that ever watches C-SPAN is our friend Michelle. Yeah, Michelle's the only one.

She's the only person. Yeah, the only one I know. I started watching it yesterday. I was watching just a little piece of it yesterday that had somebody on who was talking about whistleblowers. There was somebody on there who was talking about whistleblowers and a foundation that helps whistleblowers come forward. Right.

And this woman was on there. And I looked at how many Twitter followers she had. She's like 400 Twitter followers. Nobody watches that stuff. Right. Nobody pays attention to it. And it's I mean, it's great. It's it's it's good information and you're getting a lot of good information. But the problem is, is that, and I got a burp, I would edit this out. So I'm

going to step away from the microphone. There we go. Nice. Nobody noticed. Nobody noticed. You had to get away from your microphone or nobody would. There we go. See, I got another one. Wait till I fart later. So anyway, they would not have like, nobody's going to see that. Nobody's ever going to see it, but that doesn't make it less true or less important or less good. Right? Ratings don't matter. They only matter to this guy. Well, they matter to this guy because, again, he doesn't understand. I don't think he understands the difference between whether something is real or whether something is positive, right? He's conflating the idea of real news with positive news and negative news with fake news. He doesn't, he doesn't understand the difference because he's,

his concern here is not whether or not something is true. His concern is whether or not something is nice because he's a fucking baby. He's a fucking man child. He's a fucking Narian man child. It's ridiculous. And he's all sound and fury signifying nothing. And his chapter in that book would be the guy

who streamed a consciousness. Right. Where you're just like, what the fuck is happening? Incomprehensible gibberish. He's talking about shit that happened 30 years ago like it happened a second ago.

Somebody, some people on Twitter said that they are not experiencing, they are experiencing buffer issues. Is the stream experiencing buffer issues? We'd like to know. So type it to Megan.

And Megan, let us know on the notes if you can. The panel is almost exclusive anti-Trump. And I just think you'd be a lot better if I honestly- Hold on. Fuck you, Sean. Cecil makes up words. Sad. So funny.

The public gets it, you know. Look, when I go to rallies, they turn around, they start screaming at CNN. Why are you still going to rallies? Hold on. Listen to what he says, though. Listen to what he says.

Sometimes somebody gets, well, you look at your show that goes on and on. Let me fast forward a little. I'd better if I honestly do. The public gets it, you know. Look, when I go to rallies, they turn around,

they start screaming at CNN. They want to throw their placards at CNN. Maybe because you whipped them up into a frenzy about fake news and CNN. Yeah. Maybe that's why they're ready

to fucking hurt other people. People don't like it when I rally people not to like it at rallies. Isn't he just saying that there's violence at his rallies, too? Like, isn't he coming out

and saying, like, hey, you know what? I whipped these people up into a frenzy and they want to commit violence on my behalf. Then they're frenetic. How does this work? This is a dilly of a pickle.

Now they'll take this. I edited there. I don't know if you could tell when his arms were here and then they were there. Somebody said it's good here and they're playing online. So it sounds like it's.

Okay. All right. Good. Sorry, person on Twitter. I know there's someone on Twitter tweeted at us. I'm going to read your... It's Thinkerbell. Sorry, Thinkerbell. I think maybe it might be your internet connection. It's on you.

It's on you, Thinkerbell. Because we're huge here. Huge. Regular sized. Part of me is huge. Slightly under regular size. Part of me is huge. Slightly under regular size. Part of me is huge. I'm not telling you what part.

Irish. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? So much hair, you can't even find it. Somebody said the stream is fine in Sweden. After the terrorist attack

in Sweden, I'm so glad to hear that. Are you guys okay? We're hoping everyone's going to make it. Text one if you're okay. Tell us where we can send our humanitarian aid to you in Sweden. Can I donate blood and ship it FedEx to you or something?

We're so happy you're okay. It could have been a disaster if something would have happened. Could have killed both of the citizens of Sweden. I want to go to Sweden. I really do. Sweden's on my list of places to go of Sweden. I want to go to Sweden. I really do. Sweden's on my list of places to go to. I really want to go. It seems like it would be a lot of fun.

I don't know if I'd like the food there, but I think I would enjoy it. There's nothing but meatballs. It's meatballs and lingonberries. And you have to assemble all the furniture before you sit on it. You go to the hotel. It's like a Rubik's Cube.

You open the door to the hotel, and it's just flat pack boxes. And the fucking, what do you call it? You know, the L-shaped, the hexagon key thing. Heck, Allen wrench. God damn it, edit that out. You know, this tool.

This one. Crick up, brick up. You know, it kind of looks like Gary's dick. Sort of like that. There you go. That's both firm and it gives. That's very nice. That's a using.

Hold on. I got to put the cock back in Gary's head. Oh, okay. He's feeling lonely. He's got a fucking detachable penis. Someone from Australia sent us that because they sent a toothpaste bit of Vegemite.

A toothpaste tube of Vegemite. That sounds disgusting. Do you have to apply it with a toothbrush? Is that how it works? I will never consume it. Is that how Vegemite works? I will never consume it. It's like a million o'clock there,

so they're not even on it. Yeah, but it's also Thursday or something, right? Let's play some more. All right. Having a very good time. Okay. But they'll take this news conference. Don't forget,

that's the way I won. Remember, I used to give you a news conference every time I made a speech, which was like every day. Okay. No, that's how I won. I won with news conference

and probably speeches. I certainly didn't win by people listening to you people. You certainly didn't win the popular vote either. You certainly didn't win by, again, completing one sentence, start to finish, complete a sentence.

Morgan says, we should talk about rallies. I don't know if that's a guy or a girl. So Morgan, in the genetic neutral. What is it? Gender neutral. Genetic neutral?

That would be fucking crazy. You do a genetics test and it just Densigenetic. Gender neutral. Genetic neutral. Genetic neutral. That would be fucking crazy. You do a genetics test and it just comes back. No. No. That's because the people at the rallies are corn goblins. They are corn goblins. That's a throwback. Someone asked if Gary was holding a dildo.

No, it's it's made out of knitted. It's made out of it's knitted. And if you squeeze it enough, lotion comes out. It does now. It did when we first got it. Someone asked, how the fuck did you win speeches?

That's how I won. I won with speeches. I won with the thing I'm the worst at. You should see if I did the thing I'm good at. I don't know what that is. I'm having a good time.

Tomorrow, they will say, Donald Trump rants and raves at the press. I'm not ranting and raving. I'm just telling you. You know, you're dishonest people. No, no. Let's be real. Let's be real frank, though. All right.

That is a masterful line. Yeah. That is a masterful line. That is a masterful line. He, in one motion, puts it to the audience and says, they are going to lie about me tomorrow by saying he rants and raves. I didn't do that. I'm not ranting and raving. I didn't. They lied about me and they didn't even have to lie about him. The media is the bad guy and is lying without even lying.

That's actually, you know what I mean? The thing is, we've talked about this before. I don't think he's smart, but I do think he's cunning. And I think that there's a difference. Yeah. Someone from Barcelona is watching. Wow. Jesus.

Oh, man. Go down to Las Rambas and go on a rooftop and sit and eat tapas all night. Just for me, just do it for me. Gosh, what a beautiful city. Oh my God. I can't say anything bad about Barcelona. It is absolutely stunning. I can't say anything about Barcelona. It's a beautiful city. I've only seen your vacation pictures. It's very unlike Cleveland. Or New Orleans. But, but, I'm not ranting and raving. I love this.

I'm having a good time doing it. But tomorrow, the headlines are going to be Donald Trump ranting. I want to see. What I want is, I want a picture of him doing this so I can just move the paper

back and forth with him. Donald Trump rants and raves. Hold on. When he does that, he looks exactly, no shit, exactly like the Oompa Loompa. Ransom Rice. He looked exactly like the Oompa Loompa dance from

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And he's orange. I know, it's not a little bit either. It's like, somebody's got to put that together side by side. Someone asked, I was wondering what was wrong with the color balance on the screen, but I think he's really orange. Nothing is wrong. That's just

what he looks like. It's 745 in Australia and it's Monday morning already. It sucks to be you. I have eight more hours of drinking out of this mug. I need another beer. You want me to get you a Jesus. I have eight more hours of drinking out of this mug. Stop.

I need another beer. You want me to get you a beer? Yeah. I need one too. Are you going to leave your headphones in while I play it? I'll play it for the audience. All right.

All right. We would normally edit this out, guys. That's how this works. Oh, I'm all taken. Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. Did you pull something out? No.

Okay. All right. I haven't broken anything. There's literally cords hanging from your cords. Shut your fucking... How does it even work? Shut your whore mouth. This is how...

I don't ever go on that side of the desk because of that. I feel like I'm going to break that and stuff. Oh, I fixed something. You just took two cords apart. Something's not broken that I touched. Are you throwing them back on the ground? Good. Thanks.

I'm going to just... We're going to pause for station identification. This is Glory Hole Studios brought to you by Whale Cum. Whale Cum. Whale Cum. And Vegemite in a test tube.

Or toothpaste tube. Whatever. Same thing. I'm going to read a comment. Trump is wowing us with a cunning array of stunts or a stunning array of cunts. Stunning cunts. Jesus Christ. I got it.

It's all over your shirt. It's getting stripped by your chair. It's going. It's going. It's going. All right, let me pour this in my. I got to pour this in my. Here we go.

Here we go. Pouring it in. Why are you doing that? Because it's my Arecibo mug. I got an Arecibo. Damn it. I'm very proud of it. I find that unsettling.

I was looking for Jodie Foster there. I didn't find her. All right. I'm not ranting anyway. No, you're not ranting and raving. But nobody said you were ranting and raving. Nobody said I was doing it. I didn't find her. I'm not ranting anyway. No, you're not ranting and raving, but nobody said you were ranting and raving. Nobody said I was doing it. I'm not doing it. You're all a bunch of cunts. He does have a little

American flag lapel pin on. He does. No, it's nice. Go ahead. Should I let him have a little bit more? What do you think, Peter? Peter, should I let him have a little bit more? Sit down. Sit down, you fuck. Sit down before I have you killed have a little sit down, sit down, you fuck. Sit down before I have you killed.

I can shoot a missile at your family. I do want to mention that this is from ABC News and we're going to be putting this on YouTube. So I want to thank ABC News for going through the trouble of taping this and recording it. I have no idea if they're going to flag our video to take it down. But we'll see. It'll be on live stream. So but ABC News did

did all the work on this. I'm just, I just edited it afterwards. So, and someone says, James says, if ABC News tried the color balance for his skin and the gold curtains would look white. You know, it's like that dress where it's like either gold. All right, it's either gold or blue.

Yeah, right. Is he an Oompa Loompa or a Smurf? That's right. That's the question. Just because of the attack of fake news and attacking our network, I just want to ask you, sir. I'm changing it from fake news, though. Doesn't that underline? Very fake news.

Oh! So clever. The thing is, though, he has the crowd with him, and I don't know that he's filled this particular venue with all his staffers like he did in the past. I think once he got called out on that, he hasn't done it since. I think that that was all reporters laughing at that. Oh my god, it's not funny. Yeah. Someone says your arms are huge,

Tom. Give him a flex. For reals? Yeah, give him a flex. For reals? Look at how hairy my arms are. Are we doing that? Are we really doing it? My arms, the best part about my arms is that I'm a part Bigfoot. So you can't really tell.

My arms look a lot bigger. I'm like a poodle that you have to shave. You know what I mean? I don't have any hair. But I do have the doubt even this tattoo. He does have a doubt

even this tattoo. Which you can't see because the camera's over here. Oh, yeah. I do have a doubt even this tattoo. So I am a shitty person. The more ink you have on you, right?

Right. That was the fucking douchiest thing I've ever done. No, the douchiest thing you ever did was come out in that fucking T-top, that tank top. Yes, that's true. That was douchiest. At the live show. That was intended to be douchy. Yeah, but that was also intended to be very much you.

Yeah. Those things are not mutually exclusive. I'm not saying. I'm not saying they are. Oh, Jesus, I just fast-forwarded. Man, look at that face. Look at that face, guys.

Look at that face! This is great. I didn't realize I could do this. This is awesome. We could spend the whole day doing this. All right, here we go. That's tremendous.

...that you are undermining the people's faith in the First Amendment, freedom of the press. Okay, so the question is, are you concerned that you're undermining the faith of the press? It's a concern. That's my intention. Really? The press in this country, when you call stories, you don't like fake news. Why not just say it's a story I don't like? I do that. When you call it fake news,

you're undermining confidence in our news media. Here's the thing. Okay. I understand what you, and you're right about that except this see i know when i should get good and when i should get bad and sometimes what does that mean i love that picture of him his mouth open like that looks good oh that's going to be a great story and i'll get killed i know what's good and bad i'd be a pretty good reporter not as as good as you. But I know what... I want to hear him talk. I want to hear him give an address to NASA and be like,

I'd be a pretty good rocket ship scientist. Not as good as you. I'd be pretty good, not the best, but extremely very good. I'm just saying. I could fly that rocket. I could land that rocket. I could build that rocket.

I am actually a rocket. I know what's bad. And when they change it and make it really bad, something that should be positive, sometimes something that should be very positive, they'll make okay. So we just had Marsh on. We just did a recording before we started this. We had Marsh on the show. Marsh is going to be on next week on Monday's release, maybe Thursday's release. Depends on what we have this week that we're going to be on next week on monday's release maybe thursday's release depends on what we have uh this week that we're going to do but marsh talks about the difference between reporting with accuracy and what was the other distinction and truth right and so one of the things that i think he's upset about is that people are reporting and then giving analysis. What he wants them to do is report and then say, this is what Trump said.

This is the color orange he was. This is how tall he was, et cetera, et cetera. This is how warm it was out that day. This is how many people showed up and then leave it at that. showed up and then leave it at that. What he doesn't like is when he says something in a speech or that is demonstrably false and someone says, Trump said this and it's false because blah and blah and blah. He doesn't like the and it's false. He doesn't like the analysis. He does not like the analysis portion of this program. He gets very upset with that. And that's what he's calling fake news. What he's calling fake

news is when people call him out. They don't like, he doesn't like it when people call him out. They'll even make it negative. So I understand it. So because I'm there, I know what was said. I know who's saying it. I'm saying it. So it's very important to me. Look, I want to see an honest press. When I started off today by saying that it's so important to the public to get an honest press. The press, the public doesn't believe you people anymore. Now, maybe I had something to do with that. I don't know. You had everything to do with it. Maybe I'm literally the catalyst for this entire thing. You literally had all of the things to do with it. It's this entire push. Well,

and I don't want to say everything because the right has been for years and years and years and years pushing against this. But he springboarded this shit. He was the catalyst for the nightmare

of disinformation that's become, you know, the new state of media. Yeah, so exactly. Trump likes journalism or likes reporting reporting but hates journalism that's exactly somebody just tweeted that yeah or streamed it or whatever you call this i don't know

they just streamed it at us live thanks for streaming talking at us i don't know and fucking typed in the comment section leave me alone man this is not this is i'm leaving someone else got a uh uh someone else said that there's some problems with live stream. I'm real sorry that there's problems with live stream. We pay them a fucking obscene amount of money. So if you're running it, my suggestion would be restart it. Maybe it will be posted to YouTube afterwards.

You just won't have the opportunity to interact at that time. Then, I mean, it's story after story after story is bad. I won. I won. And the other thing... What does that have to do with anything? Well, I think there's an answer to that. I think, again,

I think going back to who he seems to be, and I know it's a little bit of like armchair fucking analysis, but everything about this guy seems to lead me to think that like, this is a guy who thinks that he won the big prize. So, so why are you still criticizing me? I won the big prize and now I'm your King, right? I'm your King. And you should just all fucking, everybody should be sucking my dick all at the same time. That's the point of becoming the king. Yeah. Why, why even go through all this work of becoming the king? If everybody isn't sucking my dick at once, every single person.

It's like, it's like he wants, he wants every moment of his life to be one of those one guy, eight girl porns where there's clearly at the end of it, there's like two girls are just sitting on the side, like having coffee and talking about yesterday night. Cause there's nothing that that guy could do. It's like, I will get to you in a minute. And they're like, yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm off the clock in four minutes.

Chaos. There's zero chaos. We are running, this is a fine-tuned machine. And Reince happens to be doing a good job, but half of his job is putting out lies by the press you know i said to him yesterday they you know this whole russia scam that you guys are building so that you don't talk about the real subject which is illegal leaks i i i shut it off there um because i wanted to talk specifically about stream is bigly good the

people who are having problems are fake. Sorry to interrupt you, but that's fucking amazing. So, so one of the things said there is he's talking about, he's talking about how the leaks are the problem, not the content, not the content. Yeah.

And, and this is, this is a narrative that has been spun constantly from the people on the right, is that there's a problem with the leaks. You know, I know that there is a problem with the leaks, clearly, right? There is a problem.

I'll admit it. I'll admit there's a problem there, right? Okay, but- No, I'll admit it. I'm willing to go there. Yeah, there's a problem. You should, there should, you know, for certain things,

there shouldn't be leaked information. That being said, they were very happy to use leaked information when they were, you know, ready to, you know, post all the Podesta emails or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, they were willing, it's only when it

damages them. They're not consistent behind that, right? They're not consistent behind leaks. One thing about, one problem with leaks, and this was on the, you said you watched Milo Yiannopoulos, right? Milo was on the show. Oh God, I'm Mar, I'm Bill Mar. That guy telling him to shut the fuck up was so brilliant. It was just, I mean, it was just so perfect when he's just like, you're douchey little ass. Yeah, but I heard Mar just kept softballing him. Mar just kept softballing him. Well, from what I saw, and I only saw one segment, Mar saw, well, Mar did one softball. And then

kind of was like, when he's talking about trans people, he's like, do you care where weirdos pee? He said, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? That's a terrible way to phrase that question, right? Shitty thing to say. And Yiannopoulos came out with a statement about how trans people are exponentially involved in more sex crimes or whatever. Anyway, you guys can see it. You can find it. Yiannopoulos was on, or Yiannopoulos,

however the fuck you say his name. You know his real last name is like Hanrahan or some shit? Is it really? Yeah, Yiannopoulos is a fake. Oh, okay. Yeah, he just... Okay, well, Milo was on...

I'm just going to say Milo. Milo was on... He was on Bill Maher. So go check it out. Go find it somewhere. But one of the guys on there said something I thought really insightful.

He's an ex or still NSA guy or something. He's a spy, basically a spy. And he wrote a book and he's sitting next to one of the comedians that was on the show. And he said something like, look, the DNC got hacked, but that's because they put their resources towards hacking the DNC. They didn't put their resources towards hacking the RNC. If they did, they would have hacked the RNC, right? And that's the thing that they don't get. They keep on wanting to point at the DNC and saying, well, it was your problem because you didn't have good enough firewalls or whatever the fuck, you know, security, etc. That's not the case. It's that they put their resources behind it to go after it. Sure. Yeah. But hold on a second, because the whole idea of attacking the fact of the leaks rather than the content is the same thing as like you're fucking your wife's sister. Right.

And you get caught because your wife reads your text message and your reply is like, why invade my privacy? Why read my text? It's like you get like a fucking sex from your wife's sister. And it's like, well, you shouldn't be reading my text messages. Like we should be fucking my sister. Right.

Are we, are we really, are we really going to go there? Like, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. To trust.

Oh, I should have treated you with a little bit more decorum. You're fucking my sister. Like, are you kidding me? It's exactly the same thing. It's just fucking the same thing. Yeah. Are you, are you kidding me it's exactly the same thing it's just fucking the same thing yeah are you are you did you did you read my fucking private messages yeah

yeah did you put your dick in my sister okay let's go tit for tat i want to say to uh james says i was so pissed when mar compared uh milo to hitch. And he's right. He did. He says, you're a young, gay Christopher Hitchens. And that's not true. He's a Christian. That's number one. He's a Catholic, or at least he pretends to be. And he's not insightful. Like, I've watched that guy on dozens of shows.

He's not insightful. He is so far from a Hitchens. He's a comedian. Like, I mean, he literally is a comedian. If you watch him talk, all he is is snappy and says snappy lines to be a comedian and like a professional troll. That's not Hitchens. Right. No, that's so different.

That's so different. Just one, read one quote from Hitchens. Right. Just read one of his books. Read Mortality. That man, at the end of his life, literally dying, literally dying, was more profound and moving and honest and genuine than Milo will

ever be in the entire collective experience of his existence. You could take all Milo's words that he ever spoke and rearrange them however you want. You could rearrange them in any length. To retype the book Mortality by Hitchens, It would get worse. It would get worse.

Alright, let's play more of this. And now, guys, I'm going to apologize. You may hear a flickering sound. It was how the video exported on Premiere today, so I apologize if there's a flickering sound that you hear. I'm here following through on what I pledged to do. It's all I'm doing.

I put it out before the American people. Got 306 electoral college votes. I wasn't supposed to... Okay, so now this piece here, this is from the beginning. I actually edited this specifically. This is from the beginning. It's when he was giving his sort of little beginning portion where he wasn't taking questions. And then there's going to be a question directly after it that's based on this particular portion. So they're talking about how many electoral votes.

That's what he brought up during the middle of the thing. 222. They said 222. I love the way it says that. I like how he's leaning on my... 22. 22. I love that so much. Make him say it again. Can you make him say it again? I'm sorry. It's the best.

How do you even do that? Look at his fucking shitty pussy mouth when he says it. 22. I wasn't supposed to get 222. Let me find the best picture. Right there.

He looks like a man trying to whistle. Hey, Trump, call me a cab. That's the sound of the Trump train. That's the number of the Trump train. They said there's no way to get 222. 230 is impossible. 270. I can listen to him do that all day.

I can listen to him say 222 for the next hour. Why can't he say that normally? You're going to die. You're going to die. Oh my shitty god Oh god I'm gonna ruin all the equipment I'm gonna spray fucking beer all over To be like the fucking spotted cow studio

I'm sweating Oh god He's like one of those He's like fucking What's that guy Brady He's like one of those. He's like fucking, uh, uh, the what's that guy? Uh, Brady. He's like Brady. Ready?

Two 22. That's a footballing joke, right? It is. It's a footballing joke. That's for, uh, that's for Cecilia who thinks that football is like rugby or something.

I don't even know. Aren't they different sports? That was the one is played in Australia. Once played, once played without a helmet. laughing. The one that's played in Australia. The one that's played without a helmet. Yeah. Oh, that sounds hard. It looks hard. Fucking hell.

We got 306. I was surprised we didn't get much hockey hate. When I said hockey was stupid last week. We didn't get any feedback. We got one person who said. Nuh-uh. They said. Was it Thomas Smith?

No. Hey! Thomas Smith doesn't listen to our show. I have a big hurt feeling. Thomas Smith. Thomas Smith doesn't listen to our show. I have a big hurt feeling. Thomas Smith is too busy looking for his feet. No, but only one person tweeted at us and said, hey man, you can't say that about hockey.

And I just tweeted back at him, hashtag hockey fight. Because people came out and voted like they've never seen before. So that's the way low numbers. I've never seen before. It's like record low apathetic numbers. Definitively lower than the, than the first time Obama,

Obama ran. Oh my God. Right. Yeah. People came out like we've never seen crying, lamenting their choices, wailing and gnashing their teeth. Somebody says, what the fuck hockey is life i don't that's why i don't want to live anymore life for other people it's a boring sport though guys i mean at least admit that to yourself and that

guy just signed off he's so mad oh my god the whale made it looks like a great addition see you guys at reason who is that is that hey did you send us the whale? Was it Jeremy sent us the whale? I love the whale. Jeremy, I literally came when I saw whale come. That was so funny when we saw this. How the fuck does this pass? How does this

pass the boardroom? It says whale come on. It says whale come on it. It says whale come on it. It's the best. It's the best. The best part is that that's a joke from a fucking cracker barrel. Yeah, it's a cracker barrel.

We were at five years ago. We're going to hang. Tom had a great idea. We're going to hang it on the door and then we're going to hang Ishmael's hands on it because. Moby Dick. Call me Ishmael. Right. So Ishmael's pillow hands from the whale

are going to hang on the whale comes. The best part is that joke is as highbrow and lowbrow as possible, right? It's like a, it's like a literary Moby Dick reference, but also whale come. That's what you guys are tuning into. We are the worst. Let's play some more of this. That's what you guys are tuning into, right? We are the worst. Let's play some more of this. I guess it was the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. Not actually true.

Go ahead. You okay? You okay? Okay, I don't know if you guys can hear this. I know it's very muffled, and it's because the guy was not miked. So what the guy is saying, and when you hear this mumbling here, the guy is saying, hey, look, you basically gave us a bunch of electoral disinformation. The information is he said he got a ton of electoral votes, the most of any Republican since Reagan. That's not true. Bush got 400 plus and other people like Obama got a bunch too.

And so he, that's what the person is saying. He's clarifying the numbers and then he's going to ask at the very end. And again, I'm going to, I'm just going to play it, but I'm going to tell you what he says. He says,

if you are giving us misinformation, how, and you're calling us fake news, why should we believe you? So that's what he's saying. Talking about Republican. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's saying Bush was 426. Yeah, Bush was 426. Bush fucking curb stomped the shit out of that thing.

But Bush, that was first Bush, though. It was Bush versus... Quayle. No, Quay Bush, though. It was Bush versus... Quayle. No, Quayle was his vice president. Bush versus... The tank guy, Dukakis. Right? George Herbert Walker was versus Dukakis.

Possibly, yeah. Dukakis might have been it. Because it was Mondale versus Bush. It was Reagan versus Carter. He won his first term. Reagan versus Mondale. He won his first term. Reagan versus Mondale. He won his second term.

Bush versus Dukakis, maybe? Yeah, it had to be. And then it was, yeah, because it was Clinton versus Bush, and he won. And then it was Clinton versus Dole, and he won. Because of the arm. Because Bob Dole doesn't know

how to hold a pencil. He can't. He just walks around. No, Bob Dole will tell you. He'll say, Bob Dole doesn't know how to. Bob Dole's and he won. Because of the arm. Because Bob Dole doesn't know how to hold a pencil. He just walks around. No, Bob Dole will tell you. He'll say, Bob Dole doesn't know how to... Bob Dole's running this race. Bob Dole lost this race. All right, so this guy is saying this to this person. Well, no, I was told...

I was given that information. I don't know. I didn't vet it. I should have extremely vetted it. I should have checked my information by extreme vetting. Hey, is that true? It's extremely true. You could have just said, yeah.

Extremely, yeah. What? Electoral votes will give you wings. Well, I don't know. Why should they trust you when you give false information? I'm paraphrasing, but that's what he said. I was given that information. I was given.

Actually, I've seen that information around. I just saw it around in a bathroom stall somewhere. That's how it's true. Hold on, guys. Hey, it's Chicago. Someone's dying. Someone died. They're probably black.

Probably. Substant probably black. Probably. Substantial victory. Do you agree with that? Okay. Thank you. The guy said, he said it was a substantial victory and he says, you're the president.

Yeah. Yeah. I could answer. Yes. Sorry about that. Yeah. Russia. Let's talk about some serious issues that have come up in the last week that you have had to deal with as president of the United States.

You mentioned the vessel, the spy vessel off the coast of the United States. Not good. Not good. Guys, is that good? Did someone write in a bathroom stall whether spy vessels from Russia? The best part is the ex-general or whatever, who's his national security advisor. He just puts a Post-it note that whatever, who's his national security advisor. He's just like, he just sends, he just puts a post-it note that just says on his desk,

not good. Guys, I'm going to need you to take all these intelligence briefings. I want two piles. Good, not good. Good, not good. Terrorist attack. Was that good or not good? Mr. President, that's always not good. No, I'm going to need you to clarify each one. I need you to put

it in a pile so I understand. It's like an inbox outbox situation. He's just got a good, not good. No, I'm going to need you to clarify each one. I need you to put it in a pile so I understand. I got it. It's like an inbox outbox situation. He's just got a good, not good box. He's from New York. So every press briefing has to get flashed in the oven

before he eats it. Ballistic missile test that many interpreters not good. Also bad, bad or not good. I'll go with either answer he's and a russian plane buzz the u.s not good

thanks for the nuanced response jesus he's stupid excuse me excuse me when did it happen it happened when if you were right now okay that sentence it happened when if you were Putin right now. Okay. That sentence. It happened when, if you were Putin right now. What if Wonder Teen Powers activate form of a Putin? How about Wonder Teen powers activate form of a sentence? A whole sentence. Would say, hey, we're back to the old games with the United States. There's no way Trump can ever do a deal with us because the public, you have to understand, if I was just brutal on Russia

right now, just brutal, people would say, you would say, oh, isn't that wonderful? But I know you well enough. Then you would say, oh, he was too tough. Wait. So is that how you make your decisions, whether or not people are going to like you more? Yeah, no, that's and that's true, right? The problem here is that what Trump is trying to do in this particular bit is he's trying to tell the people that are listening to him, not the not the press, but the people are listening to him is the reason why Putin is not going to respect me is because of this press. And any bad stuff that happens because of this bad press, because of how they're treating me based on what I'm planning to do on Russia, how they're treating me is going to prove to the Russian leadership that I am weak. And he's conflating people being critical about Russia. He's going to do it in a second because he's going to keep saying, he's going to be talking about how it's bad that, you know, you guys don't want me to be friends with Russia. You guys don't want me to be friends with Russia is what he's

going to keep saying over and over and over again. And nobody's saying that. What we're saying is there are some clear problems if Russia is meddling in our elections, right? If they're in contact with you ahead of time, if they're doing all kinds of crazy shit, we want to know about it. You know, this is an autonomous government that is not going to be influenced by another government. That seems that's that's bad, as you would say, very bad or not good or not good. It could just be not it could be not good or very bad. Right. But the problem is, is that he's going to use that as a way to say, look, they're going to look at me as if I'm weak. And he's conflating the fact that people are saying,

you know, another government shouldn't meddle with us as we should be against Russia. Because he doesn't understand nuance. He doesn't understand that we should be against Russia in the sense that they're meddling with our elections, but not against Russia in the sense that we should launch four missiles against them tomorrow. Right? Am I wrong?

Am I fucking wrong? No, I'm not wrong! But I want you to be wrong so much. I want to be wrong too! I'm scared of missiles. I'm really scared of them because they explode. You never hear the explosion. Thank you for telling me that again. That's the only comfort I have. I'm afraid of big, loud noises.

I'm so happy. Will my boys hear it? No, because you'll have shot them 30 minutes ahead of time. That's the only reason. I'm just going to be like... And so Cognitive Discipline took a dark turn today. Let's talk about abortion for a little while. Can we do that?

It's another murder-suicide of his family. You shouldn't have done that. Look, all of the things... Wait a minute. Excuse me just one second. All of those things that you mentioned are very recent

because probably Putin assumes that he's not going to be able to make a deal with me because it's politically not popular for me to make a deal. See? You see?

Yep. He's not going to be popular. All it's talking about is popularity. For him, it's all popularity. It's just not about substance or whether or not it's good to make...

Whether or not it's good to make a deal and a deal about what, like you said earlier, right? We were talking about this deal. I don't even know what the deal is. I don't know if I'll make a deal. Maybe I'll make a deal. Maybe it's good to make it could be the deal. We're not sure. Yeah. What are you getting a thing? Like deals work like this. I have a thing. You have a thing. I'd like your thing. Give me the other thing. Then we decide how much of one thing is worth the other thing. That's always how deals work, right? But we don't even know what we're dealing about. We just know that Russia is another country. And then he's about to get crazy and be like, does anyone else know that they have

nuclear bombs? I just learned this yesterday. He gets real weird about it. I don't know what the deal means. I don't know. I don't know. All right. We're going to keep playing this. We're only halfway through it. We're probably not going to get all the way through this, guys. I mean, we're already an hour into this show. So Hillary Clinton tries to reset. It failed. They all tried. But I'm different than those people. Go ahead. How are you interpreting those moves and what do you intend to do about them? Have you given Rex Tillerson any advice or counsel on how to deal? I have.

And I'm so beautifully represented. I'm so honored that the Senate approved him. He's going to be fantastic. Yes, I think that I've already. Is Putin testing you, do you believe, sir? No, I don't think so. I think Putin probably assumes that he can't make a deal with me anymore because politically it would be unpopular for a politician to make a deal. I can't believe I'm saying I'm a politician, but I guess that's what I am now because look, it'd be much easier for me to be tough on Russia, but then we're not going

to make a deal. Now, I don't know that we're going to make a deal. I don't know. We might not, but it would be much easier for me to be so tough. The tougher I am on Russia, the better, but you know what? I want to do the right thing for the American people. And to be honest, secondarily, I want to do the right thing for the world. If Russia and the United States actually got together and got along, and don't forget, we're a very powerful nuclear country, and so are they. There's no upside. There's no upside to a war. I think he's already saying, like, look, I'm not just going to shoot missiles at them because they'll shoot missiles back at me. I really think that's what he just said.

The worst part is coming up. And I'm going to let it play for a few minutes here. So are they. I've been briefed. And I can tell you one thing about a briefing that we're allowed to say because anybody that ever read the most basic book can say it. Nuclear. You've never read a basic book. This guy's not read Pokey Little Puppy.

It's never read. We got it sitting over there. Charlie and the Tortoise or whatever. Never read it. You know David Smalley wrote and drew all the pictures and published that book himself with no help. Sorry. Sorry, that's live. You can't get rid of it. I can't get rid of it. I wouldn't have added that up.

I know. David Smalley did not do that. David Smalley didn't do any of it, actually. Did you know that he also read it for Audible himself and then did all the post-production? Do you know David Smalley can bench-press Thomas Smith? Anybody could bench-press Thomas Smith, except, interestingly

enough, Thomas Smith, except, interestingly enough, Thomas Smith. Congratulations, Thomas, on your new show. He's got to press with the feet. On your new show. The feet show. Serious podiatrists only. They're a very powerful nuclear country, and so are we. If we have a good relationship with Russia.

They have been for 50 years. Just as long as we have. Maybe like two months after. Really? He just told us, because we talked over that, he just told us that nuclear holocaust is bad, and that if we have a nuclear holocaust, no one's going to love that. That won't be totes awesome.

Right. Believe me, that's a good thing, not a bad thing. It went from this pile to that this is this is awesome because he's like he's like i'm gonna scroll this back we're a country and so are we if we have a good relationship with russia believe me that's a good thing not a bad so when you say they're not good do you mean that they are not good no who did i say the three? Who did I say is not good? The three things he mentioned earlier. You didn't even remember the question, you fucking asshole. I've lost track.

I don't even know. I've lost track. I read off the three things that have recently happened. Each one of them you said they're not good. But do they damage the relationship? They all happened recently. No, I'm trying to see what happens. This country's ability to work with Russia?

They all happened recently. And I understand what they're doing because they're doing the same thing. Now, again, maybe I'm not going to be able to... He's saying they're pushing back because you're making me look weak. Stop making me look weak. Yeah, right. I mean, really, that's what he's saying.

The underlying context of this is don't make me look weak in front of them, guys. I need to look super powerful. Guys, Putin only respects people who ride bears into combat. Guys, I want to look tough in front of my girlfriend.

That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is, right? It's like, it's like, let me pick up the check. Let me pick up the check. Let me pick up. I know because I fucking

recently did it. Let me pick up the check. Hold on a second. I'm going to call up the live stream so I can see what people are typing too. I got to mute it though so that we're not going to actually,

there we go, we're muted. There we go. All right. Deal with it. But at least I will have tried. And if I don't, does anybody really think that Hillary Clinton would be tougher on Russia than Donald Trump? Does anybody in this room who fucking cares whether Hillary Clinton would fucking spread her legs for Russia?

Nobody cares, man. She's not in the fucking White House. She's not anywhere near the White House. She's not in the fucking White House. She's not anywhere near the White House. She's fucking completely fucking out of the picture. Why is the answer how tough someone is going to be? Why is that? Why is that even the consideration? How tough will you be?

Seven tough units? How many tough units? I want to be as tough as I tough. Like, I got to fight a guy. How many guys do I got to fight? Like, he's like a guy who just got to prison on his first date. He's like picking the biggest dude. He's going to shank Hillary Clinton. In a bad way, guys. Not in a sexy, sexy times way.

Not in a good way. Not in a Pornhub way. Unfurl your improvised stabbing device. Unfurl? That's actually a pretty grandiose term. I'm neither a grower nor a showerer. What's that? I don't know.

It's not a flag, son. Oh, God. But I'll tell you one thing. She tried to make a deal. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Will you stop talking about Hillary Clinton? Hillary Clinton was terrible, so terrible I wouldn't even fuck her. She gave all that valuable uranium away. She did other things. You know, they say I'm close to Russia. Hillary Clinton was terrible, so terrible, I wouldn't even fuck her. She gave all that valuable uranium away.

She did other things. You know, they say I'm close to Russia. Hillary Clinton gave away 20% of the uranium in the United States. She's close to Russia. That's just not true. Not even a thing. That's just not true. She didn't have the power to do it, even.

Yeah, that's just, everything about that sentence didn't happen. Just imagine that sentence. Fake news! Didn't happen. You know what I. Fake news! Didn't happen. You know what I gave to Russia? You know what I gave? Nothing. Can we conclude there'll be no response

to these particular provocations? I'm not going to tell you anything about what response I do. I don't talk about military response. I'm not telling you. You're just the people. No, no, no, no, no. You're missing the most important piece of that.

I'm not telling you about military response. Military? What? We have a secret military now. Wait, what? We have a secret. That means he's planning military response. No.

That's what that means. No. Right? No. Right? No. Flash. No.

You don't hear the best. I'm good. Good. I'll be reading Charlie and the Chopper Factory. Do you know what I want don't hear the good. I'll be reading Charlie. You know what? You know what I want? I want the lives. I want my annihilation to be live streamed. That's what I want. Anyone can bench press Thomas

Smith because he has no feet. It takes the weight off. The best part is if he has no feet, the weights just slip right on. So you could just go. No worries. Terrific. He'd be covered in cats the whole time.

He'd be covered in cats and rhubarb pie for no reason. Just like, what's happening? Tom Hale's back. Hey, Tom. Thanks for listening, buddy. Thanks for still listening. We sent Tom a shirt

at the first TAM. I don't know if you remember this. Yes, we did. Years and years and years ago, we sent Tom a shirt. God, that was a long time ago. God, yeah. And you know what's funny is Stitcher still uses their picture as our picture.

Does it really? If you tweet or Facebook a picture of one of our Stitcher streams, the picture of George Rapp, Mark, Mary, and Tom comes up. I miss Mary. I miss her too. Good girl. Say I'm going into Mosul in four months. We are going to attack Mosul in four months. Everyone in Mosul right now is like, wait, what the fuck?

Wait, what? We are going to attack Mosul in one month. Next week, we are going to attack Mosul. In the meantime, Mosul is very, very difficult. You know why? Because I don't talk about military... You can finish a thought, for

Christ's sakes. I don't talk about finishing thoughts. You're going to be surprised to hear that. And by the way, my whole campaign I'd say that. So I don't have to tell you. I don't want to be one of these guys. As an elected leader, I don't have to tell you what I'm going to do. It's hard to hear, but the guy says, so there will be a response?

Yes, here's what we're going to do. I don't have to do that. I don't have to tell you what I'm going to do in North Korea. Wait a minute. I don't have to tell you what I'm going to do in North Korea. I like the way he says, I don't have to. It's so petulant. Doesn't that? It's just petulant. I don't have to do whatever

I want. I'll do what I want. I'll do what I want. He's like fucking Cartman. Tommy's talking about doing something in North Korea. I don't want to hear this. Hold on. It's going to get worse. I know. And I don't have to tell you what I'm going to do with Iran. I know. I know.

And then he'll go on a rant about Iran. It's an Iran, actually. Iran. Iran is so far away. Nicely done. Why? Because they shouldn't. I don't have to tell you what my favorite cereal is.

Somebody says, I don't have to tell you what is my favorite cereal. That's great. Someone says, there's no point. He just speaks words until people stop asking. That's true. He could sit up there and just be like... Next question. He sort of is.

And eventually you guys are going to get tired of asking that question. So when you ask me, what am I going to do with this ship? The Russian ship as an example. I'm not going to tell you, but hopefully I won't have to do anything, but I'm not going to tell you. Okay. Thanks. Max Hadrum. That's what he looks like. How much longer should we... Okay. So I'm going to fast forward through these two questions. These next, because we are right

now at an hour and 20, and I want to stop this right around an hour 30, but I want to talk about, I'm going to talk about these two questions. I'm going to fast forward to the, to the last question, which is, uh, which I think is just a treasure,

but, um, an absolute treasure. The woman who asked the question, which he asked the question about like the congressional black caucus, in my opinion is the very best question. But these two questions in a row,

one guy asks a question about, Hey, Donald Trump, what about the uptick of violence against Jews, anti-Semitic violence? Does it ever implicate Donald Trump whatsoever in whether or not he's anti-Semitic? He says, hey, I know you're a great friend of the Jewish people, et cetera, et cetera. What do you think about all that? that. And Donald Trump's answer is instead of having to get up and ask the charge relative to other people, least anti-Semitic person that you've ever seen in your entire life. Not even relevant. Number two, racism, the least racist person. In fact, we did very well

among the blacks. I'm so not racist. I only fuck black hookers. That's how not racist I am. And I even pay him. I even pay him. We did great among the N-words. What if to other people running as a Republican? Quiet, quiet, quiet. Who's saying that? He's saying that. He didn't say, and the thing is, he's

going back and saying he's going to ask a straightforward, simple question. He didn't say that. He said, who's going to ask a nice question? What is a nice question why does anybody can you imagine if obama had done a press conference called somebody please be nice to me a nice question you know welcome to the world of the media welcome to let me just tell you something that um i hate the charge i find it repulsive i hate even the question because people that know me, and you heard the prime minister, you heard. Because people that know me. And then he stops.

Yeah. Hear him, BB. He said, I've known Donald Trump for a long time. And then he said, forget it. What does that even mean? Then nothing, Yahoo, BB, forget it that was your that was your sentence that was your statement this is your convincing thing i think that's his confession that he has alzheimer's i forgot it i'm sorry you said it i forgot it there was an article what did

you say i just forgot it i don't know i don't want to live here anymore. Me either, buddy. Me either. So, Sweden. I'm so sorry, guys. Hey, no, no. Actually, Sweden, since you guys lost so many people in that accident, you'll need replacements. Oh, are you taking in... Are you taking in me? Are you taking in horrible...

I have a little money. How many kronor is that? I don't... I don't know. How many lutefisks do I have to buy to get in there? Can I get, like, a bikini team? How does this work? How many bikutefisks do I have to buy to get in there? Can I get a bikini team? How many bikini teams? How low are your standards, really?

That's the question. Instead of having to get up and ask a very insulting question. This is funny. Sean says, I'm not racist. I have a black voter. Somebody else said he didn't say he wasn't racist. He just said he's the least racist. I'm so right. I'm like a pie chart. How many racist units? I'm better at being less racist than you. I'm the best at being less racist. That's

Sean again. Can I be honest with you? This has to do with racism and horrible things that are put up. Okay, now this is another question that got added at the end. Someone else went back to that question and said, hey, you really didn't answer that question about the fucking

anti-Semitic stuff. Can you answer that question? And they said, what do you think about when people are doing this sort of thing? And this is Donald Trump's response. And this is one I wanted to play for everybody. I'm going to play the whole response before we pause it. So go ahead. And some of it, and can I be honest with you? And this has to do with racism and horrible things that are put up. Some of it written by our opponents. You do know that. Do

you understand that? You don't think anybody would do a thing like that. Some of the signs you'll see are not put up by the people that love or like Donald Trump. They're put up by the other side. And you think it's like playing it straight now, but you have some of those signs and some of that anger is caused by the other side. They'll do signs and they'll do drawings that are inappropriate. It won't be my people. It will be the people on the other side to anger people like you. Okay.

So what he says there is not that my side or our side or anybody's being anti-Semitic. Yeah. What he's saying is you realize that some of those are lies and because some of them are lies, what, all of them are lies?

Like, why even bring it up? I think he's saying, like, look, I know some of my people are racist assholes, but some of yours are too. Well, some of yours are lying about being racist assholes. They're pretending to be on our side so that they do a thing to make us look bad. And people on your side are trying to make us look bad. And therefore

I'm forgiven, or our side is forgiven. Well, I think and therefore, I don't have to answer the initial question. He doesn't because he doesn't. He doesn't answer. He fucking doesn't. He just bails on the whole idea. And this happens, you know, the right and the left do this. They enter into, they'll create a troll account or they'll create a sign and they'll go out into a protest.

And they'll have that sign that is completely, it's over the edge, right? There was one, there was somebody who had a rate Melania sign and I couldn't tell if it was Photoshopped or if somebody had actually went out there and just taken a picture. There was,

you know, some, there's some horrible shit that people will do in a protest and they'll hold up that sign. Right. And I, I'm not saying that that person was real or that that was an actual... Someone from the left had that sign. I'm saying that

there was some clear, some nefarious intent from people on the right to try to make it look like that sign was on our side. That being said, what they're doing is they're creating a way for you to delegitimize the entire protest by having one awful sign. And they're the plant. I'm on page with them there, right? I recognize there are people who do that sort of thing. It's sort of like a counterintelligence way to delegitimize an entire protest. I get it.

I understand. I'm with you there. But that doesn't mean that there aren't real people out there that are being anti-Semitic, that are empowered by the things that you're doing to make it more open for the anti-Semites out there. Yeah, okay. But it is a great way for him to deflect the question, right? It's like Captain America with a shield.

All right, so this is the last question and I'm not going to play all the way through. Go ahead. This is a woman in the audience asked this question and and she's going to be talking about inner cities. I want the beginning part. I'm kind of on board with them with, you know, like inner cities. You know, clearly there's problems in the inner cities. They always need help. They're normally filled with very poor people who need assistance. And so I'm with him if he wants to. If somehow Donald Trump is going to dig into the pockets of the government and help needy people, I'm with him. Okay. I'm not going to,

I'm not going to begrudge that. It's the second part of this question. That's the most important. Yes. I know this is going to be a bad question, but that's okay. Because a black person asked. I enjoy watching you on television. Go ahead. Well, thank you so much, Mr. President, I need to find out from you. You said something as it relates to inner cities. That was one of your platforms during your campaign. Fix the inner cities. Fixing the inner cities. What will be that fix and your urban agenda, as well as your HBCU executive order that's coming out this afternoon? See, it wasn't bad, was it? That was very professional and very good.

We'll be announcing the order in a little bit. You did a good job. Pat, Pat, Pat, let me just be a patronizing, condescending dickhead. Do you think that he said that she did a good job and sounded surprised because she was black or because she was a woman? It's hard to tell, but it's certainly both.

I'd rather let the order speak for itself, but it could be something I think that will be very good for everybody concerned. But we'll talk to you about that after we do the announcement. As far as the inner cities, as you know, I was very strong on the inner cities during the campaign. I think it's probably what got me a much higher percentage of the African-American vote than a lot of people thought I was going to get. We did much higher than people thought I was going to get. Again, he's got to come back to how much he won the vote. Everybody likes me.

I'm so well liked. Fucking I'm with you with the fucking inner city thing. If you help people out, if you actually help people, I'm with you. I don't give a fuck how fucking badly you fucked Hillary Clinton. Does it give no shits anymore. What's your plan? People love me? Yeah.

What is your actual plan? To be loved by people? And I was honored by that, including the Hispanic vote, which was also much higher. And by the way, if I might add, including the women's vote, which was much higher than people thought I was going to get. So we are going to be working very hard on the interstitial having to do with education, having to do with crime. We're going to try and fix as quickly as possible. You know, it takes a long time. It's taken a hundred years and more for some of these places to evolve and they evolved many of them very badly, but we're going to be

working very hard on health and healthcare, very, very hard on education. And also super duper hard on other things, extra much plus hard. We're going to work on them stringent way in a very good way on crime. You go to some of these inner city, uh, places and it's so sad when you look at the crime, you have people and i've seen this and i've sort of witnessed it in fact in two cases i have actually witnessed it two cases it's happened twice wow that's amazing yeah they lock themselves into apartments petrified to even leave in the middle of the day they're living in hell we can't let that happen so we're going to be very very strong it's a great question and it's a very it's a great question. And it's a very,

it's a very difficult situation because it's been many, many years. It's been festering for many, many years, but we have places in this country that we have to fix. We have to help African American people that for the most part are stuck there. Hispanic American. I love that he pauses as if to, as if to insinuate that you cannot have a Hispanic American. No, I think he's stopping being like, is that a racist? Right. I said Hispanic. Is a Hispanic racist? Like the African Americans. And then the Hispanic wetbacks.

No, I can't say that. I can't even live stream it. You're very uncomfortable right now. I can't even. We're going to help the beaners. Is there a Puerto Rican racist? Just don't call him right now. I can't even. All right. We're going to help the beaners. We're going to help the beaners. Puerto Rican racist. Just don't call him Mexican.

I learned that you can't call them all Mexican. Only some of them are Mexican. The ones from Guatemala. I think the ones that are Mexican that are in the inner city and they're living in hell. I mean, you look at the numbers in Chicago. There are two Chicago's as you know, there's one again. This is true. I mean, you look at the numbers in Chicago. There are two Chicagos, as you know.

Again, this is true. I believe, yeah. This is 100% true, guys. It's even a great analogy. This is a great analogy. It's very true. Chicago that's credible, luxurious, and all, and safe. There's another Chicago that's worse than almost any of the places in the Middle East that we talk about.

Why does it got to be the Middle East? You talk about every night on the newscasts. So we're going to do a lot of work on the inner cities. I have great people lined up to help with the inner cities. When you say the inner cities. Okay, so now this is the part I wanted to get to. Right. And here's the thing.

I just played a piece that I agree with, right? I pretty much agree with Trump. I want to see him help people that need help. That's it. That's what I want. Okay, yeah, but I do want to say you agree in principle, but he didn't say anything. No, he didn't say I was going to do it. Right, and so it makes me crazy.

It's like, what is your plan? My plan is that there is a problem and it should be fixed. That's not a plan. Yeah. That's not a plan. And his entire thing is we're going to be great. We're going to help him out. We got some really good people.

We got good people. They're going to work so hard. They're going to work hard. They're going to be the hardest workers. There's nothing in there. God. Are you going to include the CBC, Mr. President, in your conversations with your urban agenda, your inner city agenda, as well as are you going to include the congressional

black... The Canadian Broadcasting Company. Are you going to include the Canadian Broadcasting Company? Some guy just shows up. He's like, hey, you're going to include us in your inner city talks? Maybe we could get a moose down here. Play some hokey, huh?

Sorry. We'll just go around and apologize to everybody wanting to tie him in these cities. Yeah. Well, I would. I tell you what. Do you want to set up the meeting? Do you want to set up the meeting? No. Do you know all the black people? I want to point this out. Anna says, and so his

plan to help the inner cities is to arrest more people. And that is true, right? Yeah. Look, I want him to help people by giving them money and by giving them, you know, giving them jobs. Not just that, but like pouring money into that area will help education, will help all kinds of different things. But

you know, Anna's right here. His idea is stop and frisk. Like, that's how he thinks he's going to fix all this stuff. Get tough. So I'm not down with that. And I want to make sure that I mention that I'm not down is stop and frisk. Like, that's how he thinks he's going to fix all this stuff. Get tough. So I'm not down with that. And I want to make sure that I mention that I'm not down with stop and frisk.

I'm not down with that sort of thing. Mainly because it's unconstitutional. That's one of the reasons. Oh, you and your constitution. But I just want to say, like, fucking, you know, if he's going to help in a humanitarian way,

I'm with him. If he's going to help in an authoritarian way, Tote's not with him. You mean when he's going to help in an authoritarian way, Tote's not with him. You mean when he's going to help in an authoritarian way? I think you misspoke. Just walk out in a flash. Are they friends of yours? No, they're black. Of course they're friends.

I know a black guy from Arkansas. Do you know him too? Set up the meeting. I know some of them. Set up a meeting. I would love to meet with the Black Caucus. I think it's great. The Congressional Black Caucus. Set up a meeting? Was she your secretary? I love that he's the goddamn president.

Like, he can't get a meeting. Someone's got to... I hate this guy. I'd take a meeting, right? It'd be super weird. You know, I want to say, too, like, someone had said, and I don't know how true this is, but someone had said that the Congressional Black Caucus tweeted after this, look, we sent you a message a couple weeks ago, and you didn't know how true this is, but someone had said that the Congressional Black Caucus tweeted after this,

look, we sent you a message a couple of weeks ago and you didn't respond. I don't remember where I saw that, but I saw it somewhere. So, and again, fake news, guys. It could be fake news. Sure, it was on Infowars?

I feel like it was on, no. Yeah, I'm sure Alex Jones sent me, he sent me a text, I think. So I think it's great. I actually thought I had a meeting. So he's going to talk now about, about meetings he had with certain people, et cetera. And I'm going to, I'm just going to end it there, but, but, but, you know, Donald Trump in this interview, in this whole thing, talks in circles very often, but the right loved him. The right love. I mean, go on the, go on Twitter and, and, and look at what. But the right loved him. The right love.

I mean, go on Twitter and look at what they have to say about him. They loved him in this. He hasn't said anything. He has no plan. Every time he gets pushed, like, is something true or not true? I sometimes get my feelings hurt when people say mean things. Someone says here, this is Geraldo. Or Geraldo.

I'm not sure how to pronounce your name. By the way, the Black Caucus wrote him a month ago and he never got a response. So someone says, and I read that somewhere, I don't remember where, but yeah. So yeah, you know, there's a level of, first off, Donald Trump

doesn't really say a lot. He never answers questions. When people ask him questions, I have to keep asking the same question over and over again. But the people on the right really did like this. See, that's the thing. I don't... I do. I find that actually astonishing. They were... I would

say this. The people on the right were offended very often because they thought Obama had this very deep cult of a personality. I don't know if you remember this, but they really felt that. I never felt any special attraction to President Obama as a cult leader. I felt him as more of a person like, I felt like I was, you know, I wasn't critical of him all the time because very often my ideals lined up with his.

But on occasion, he did some things that were, you know, puzzling or stupid or whatever, because everybody does, right? No matter what everybody does. And I never felt like if you insulted him, I would care that much. It's like, whatever, you can insult him. You could say he said something stupid. It doesn't bother me. What do his policies play out? And I want to say, like, the right for being as critical as they were about the cult of personality around Obama has fallen into the cult of personality of Donald Trump. Oh, for sure. Of course they have. In a huge way.

Of course. Of course. And that doesn't even bother me because I think it's almost an inevitability. That cult of personality thing is almost an inevitability whenever you have leadership at this level. I'm not sure how you get past that. What I find distressing is the man doesn't seem to have an idea. He doesn't seem to have a single plan. Hey, what's your plan? I don't have a plan. It's going to be so great. Hey, did any of your people have ties with Russia? I don't

have ties with Russia. Everything is a dodge. Everything is a skip. So this is the tweet. This is from the Canadian broadcast company. They said, hi, real Donald Trump. We're the CBC. Sorry, the Congressional Black Caucus. We sent you a letter on January 19th, but you never wrote us back. Sad. So the letter looks like this.

This is the letter. And so during your campaign, you pledged to address a number of issues being faced by African Americans. Unfortunately, let me just make this bigger so people can see it. Just make it bigger with the press of a button? I don't know if people can see that. You probably can't read that.

Actually, to be honest, I don't know if you can read that at all. It probably just looks like a fucking mess. Does it look like a big mess? I can zoom in. Hang on. Let's see if it looks like a big mess? I can zoom in. Hang on. Let's see if it looks like a big mess for you. I'm very sorry if it looks like a big mess. We spared no expense. So it basically says that...

I love how you tried. You tried, Tom. You tried, buddy. Furthermore, your insistence on reducing the African-American experience solely to the conditions faced by many of our inner cities is ultimately unproductive. That's amazing. What a great line. 39% of African-Americans live in suburbs compared to 36% who live in inner cities.

The remaining 25% live in small metropolitan areas and rural communities. I'm going to skip down to the end of this paragraph. If you are serious about addressing the issues in the African-American community, you would be wise to tap into the decades of experience held by the members of the caucus. And so then they list a few things. And so it's a very long letter. I'm not going to read it. It's five pages long. You can find it.

That's why he didn't get it. It's been posted in the comments right now by Sarah. So if you check it out, Sarah posted this in the comments. You can read this letter on your own. But yeah, that's probably why he didn't get to it. It's five pages. It's five pages long. It's fine. It needed three bullet points. It needed to read the first one. He would only do that if the teacher assigned it on

Friday. Right? So we've gone for an hour and 42 minutes. It's a long stream. It's an hour and 40 minutes longer than I usually go. I think what we're going to try to do, folks, is we're going to try to have these live streams, I think, instead of the Thursday shows,

because this is, you know, it's kind of like a show. I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you guys enjoyed it, let us know. Send us an email. We'd love some feedback on the live stream. Dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. If you're commenting from YouTube, be sure to comment there

because I'll never read it. So be sure to... But we're happy to try to interact. We did our very best to try to interact as we went along. We want to thank you for joining us today on this live stream. Let's look at the camera.

Yeah, I know. I've been trying to do that. I know. You're addressing the people. You're a man of the people. Am I off the screen, though, guys? No, you're fine. I can see you. I got to look here. I guess I kind of am on. All right. So thanks for joining us today, and we're going to wrap it up.

Should I play the Skeptic Creed? I can do it. Do you want me to do it? Always. Okay. All right. So we're going to play the Skeptic's Creed. I'm not going to have Tom do it live because he's going to mess it up. Fuck you. Because Tom would mess that shit. He doesn't. I'm an excellent reading person.

I don't even know where my cursor is. There we go. All right. So I got to go to podcast. These people can't see what I'm doing. This would normally be edited out, guys. So here we go. edited out, guys. So here we go. New ending, guys.

Credulity is not a virtue. Now we have to be quiet. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. I have a very one last sip. Couching, scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized,

stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal ball, big foot, yet aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues. I tried to re-record it. I got in trouble when I read this 10 years ago. I would love to have a tarot card though. I tried to re-record it. I had trouble when I re-recorded it. Atlanta's- It's powered on the four of cups. Crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms.

Atlanta's dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Double-speak nonsense kind of does cover President Trump pretty well. I'm unsettled at how true that part is. I just caught the same thing. Expose your signs. I can't not. Thrust your hands.

Bloody. I thrust my hands into my gloves. Doubt even this. All right, I'm not playing the song. That's the end. That's the end of our show, guys. Thanks for joining us, Stream. We appreciate it.

We appreciate all the support. Thank you so much. Make it great again.