Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 347: Clap On...

Episode Date: March 6, 2017

In this episode, the guys start by reviewing Donald Trump's speech to congress. Then they discuss several news stories including: Stories covered in episode: 

Today's show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com right now, you'll get 50% off just about any item, a free sex swing. Why are you looking at me like that, buddy? You heard that right. Oh, because Tom. You think that's a load-bearing sex swing, buddy? Okay, it's not for Tom.

Free sex swing and free shipping if you go there and use the code GLORY at checkout. Hey, this is Justin Clay. I just watched you guys' live show. I just want to let you know that, Tom, you look a lot less like a Viking than I thought you would. Instead, you look more like me on steroids, which is really disappointing.

And Cecil, you look more like me on steroids, which is really disappointing. And, uh, Cecil, you look like, uh, well, you look a lot like, a lot less like Fry from Futurama than I expected. But anyway, love the show. Enjoyed it. I'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Hey, this is Desert Dave

down in San Antonio once again. I hadn't found anything to bitch about lately. Well, I did, but I was too lazy to bother. But the one thing I always want to do when I hear the show is, I'm like, what the fuck? Recording live. How else are you going to fucking record? Recording dead?

Recording comatose? No, it's always live. Just say live from fucking Glory Hole Studios. Now, I don't really want you to change it. I like it, but I just had to bitch about it because it's like an OCD thing that happens every time I listen to the show. Anyway, Glory Hole motherfuckers

from beautiful San Antonio, Texas. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chic, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 347. And there is no welcome at. This is episode 347.

This is actually the address to the joint sessions of Congress of Cognitive Dissonance. I'm going to clap the entire time. Can I put some applause on? I wish you would have told me. I would have queued up the applause. Well, you know, I don't like to queue up the intro for you. I like to keep the laughs and excitement genuine. Yeah. Buckle your seatbelt, folks. Here it is. This is the intro that Tim. You know, I like to keep the, I like to keep the laughs and excitement genuine. Yeah. Buckle your seatbelt, folks.

Here it is. This is the intro that Tim came up with. That's pretty much all I got. It's just, you know, I mean, let's just make fun of me right here. I mean, I'm fucking right here, man.

That was fucking painful. I had to shut it off. I couldn't watch it. You didn't like the laugh track? The Republicans, the Democrats had a laugh track. They do the same thing. They do the same thing in both of them.

Yeah. It's just one of those things where it's like every 10 seconds, they can't even say a fucking full sentence before everybody's standing on their feet. And it's not just like a little bit of applause there. Everybody stands up. Standing ovation is every line. It's every line

is a standing ovation. They can't be that good. You would think it would be difficult to stand up and sit down and keep the dick in your mouth the entire time. You know what I mean? Like, that's a lot. It's a lot to coordinate. A lot of these people are like fucking octogenarian.

So they're not going to be fucking able to stand up and sit down. Can you imagine these people doing body weight squats? Right. Jesus. Like they do a body weight squat and they fucking fill their colostomy bag. Are you kidding me? It's like a fucking Catholic mass. It's, you know, like, you know like no sit down fucking kneel

around the fucking block come back eat a food it may as well get your protein it may as well be a mass right at the beach during you get to keep your calories up so you don't go low blood right or mode ridiculous it's just it's one of those things that what I want is somebody to go through and just cut out all the fucking applause so I can actually listen to what he had to say. So instead I had to read it the next day. I just read about it. Exactly.

I just read about it for the same fucking reason. It's the same. I can't watch anything with a laugh track. I did hear that there was a laugh track when, like he said, he's draining the swamp and the Democrats audibly laughed at him when he said he was draining the swamp. They also gasped when he he said i saw a clip of this the next day they audibly gasped when he said i'm gonna be making a new like cholo fucking deportation thing when it's like

i'm gonna fucking deport all the cholos or whatever somebody should cholify trump somebody should cholify somebody should cholify sessions oh i think that would be amazing cholified session Somebody should Cholify Trump. Somebody should Cholify Trump. Somebody should Cholify Sessions. I think that would be amazing. Cholified Sessions. I want to see like a Cholified Betsy DeVos. Cecil, did you hear where his quote was like, nobody knew healthcare could be this complicated? That's so great.

So funny. It's so complicated. Two major things that happened. He said that, right? He's like, so complicated. And then the Bernie thing when he's like, could you imagine if there was a rally where all my supporters came? It would be the biggest of them all. And Bernie put, they did. It wasn't. And it was a picture of the two side-by-side inaugurations. They did. It wasn't. It was so funny. Bernie fucking laid the burn on them.

There was a bunch of people that were talking about yeah everybody said i mean there's a whole clip of obama saying health care is really complicated it's like him saying it 25 times yeah yeah and nobody knew it could be so complicated anybody who's ever thought about health care yeah as a system that the government should be involved in any way. If you don't inherently understand how incredibly complex that is, you're not incredibly complex. You are a simpleton, right? It's funny because everything he has to deal with is going to be this way. And that was what I was thinking, too. It's not just health care.

Everything on a country scale is not fucking, it's not like, you know, you could study for it the night before. Yeah. You know, it's not like you could sleep in a Holiday Inn Express the night before. I had a V8. It'll be fine. Ah, fucking I'm a brain surgeon now. Right. You need to make sure that you study this stuff extensively, get the smartest, the bestest, hugeliest, bigliest people on it.

The most IQedness. The most IQedness because Trump's got a huge IQ. He'll tell you about it on Twitter. intensively get the smartest the bestest hugeliest bigliest people on it the most iq yeah the most iq-edness because trump's got a huge iq he'll tell you about it on twitter so the thing is get a picture get the smartest people you can find and talk about it but to say that it's not of course it's complex don't be a ridiculous moron it that is a that is a statement that is so insanely obtuse that he should have been embarrassed to have said it. Right. Right. And I, and I thought, and then the other, we'll talk one more, one more stupid fucking thing he did.

That's not related to his story, but the fact that he's not embarrassed to have said it shocks me. It actually shocks me. Sure. Right. Because he gets at some point to be like, well, I didn't know this was going to be a hard job. Did you think? But I think that's really true. I think he's looking around

and he's encountering issues. And he's like, we'll just do this. And then the reality is like, well, we have to take into account all these other factors. And all these different angles of approach that this problem needs to be considered at. And I think this blows his fucking mind. Because that's not what you have to do when you negotiate from a position of ultimate authority, which is how he negotiates in his business practice. Right.

So when you negotiate from that position of ultimate authority in business, you don't have to consider all the angles. You just have to consider the major angle. Right. You just have to get your lever in the door. You know? It's funny because people talk about what would happen if we had a president that was a businessman. What would happen? What would happen? They always talked about this long before Trump

was president. They talked about it. And one of the things that they don't understand is that business are dictatorships. They're not fucking democracies. They're not republics. I mean, some of them clearly are. Some of them are a lot better than others. Yeah, if you're one of those fucking hippie dippy fucking tech companies that go out of business you know yeah like one of those one of those few companies out there that is sort of like you're like oh you're on the google campus and it's you know what i mean

like you play ping pong exactly right one of those but but there's also a feeling like when you are the guy in charge and all the buck stops there, you're going to try to maximize profits. You know, look at most businesses, most businesses that are out there. Do you think that they like, I mean, I'm sure there are some out there that care about their workers, but there's other that are like, I don't give a fuck who the fuck these people are, what they do. I'm going to give them the minimal amount of health coverage I can. I'm going to try to make sure that I don't cover it

because it's cheaper for me. I'm going to try to expand my profit margin as best I can by doing things that are not good for the entire corporation. I'm going to do that work. Fucking look at Walmart for Christ's sakes. You know what I mean? Like that's a company that doesn't care

about its employees. So when you talk about this, you know, this, what would it be like if a, if a, if a businessman was president? Well, maybe he wouldn't care about the average citizen. You ever consider that? Yeah. Which business? Right. How well and how responsibly run is that business? Yeah. You know, like it's, and it's, and the difference too is that a business model is a quarterly model, right? If you're, if you're answering to shareholders, you're you're answering to shareholders, you're on a shareholder call. You're trying to maximize profits. You're trying to grow the investor base that's buying your stock.

That's the goal of the company. The widgets are secondary, whatever the fucking widget is. It doesn't matter. You can't build a country that way, right? Because if I have a job and I just make a ton of money and I burn the house down behind me, but I made a ton of money and the business fails, you shrug. Yeah, you got rich. Some other people got burned and you move the fuck on to another company. But you got rich in the process. Who cares? You can't do that with a nation of 30, 370 million people. nation of 30, 370 million people.

Oh, and the other crazy thing is that from that same speech, um, there, there was a portion of that speech where, uh, Trump was praising that dead seal, that dead Navy seal. And he was, he got like a whole bunch of applause. Like he gets, he gets down on his fucking knees and he fucking warships at the cock of the dead soldier. Right. Cause that's what we do. Wait a minute. Yeah.

So he fucking takes it deep and hard. And then he says something like, and everybody applauds. And Trump gets this fucking thing and he's like, see? See? He's like got the, you know, the number one rating or whatever, like up in heaven. He basically equates how

happy this guy should be to be dead because all these fucking people are filleting him in memoriam. Hey, everything is scorekeeping. That's, and that's the, that's the takeaway I took from that too,

is everything for this guy is scorekeeping. Yeah. No, Hey, look, you got all these fucking, you know, clapping points.

Yeah. We got a fucking bullet to the face. Yeah. Like I don't need your clapping. How many clapping points do you put on the scale to bring the guy back to fucking bullet to the face. Yeah. Like, I don't need your clapping points. How many clapping points do you put on the scale to bring the guy back to life? Right, exactly. Like, how many clapping points fill a coffin? Yeah, right.

Hey, man, 7 billion people love your dad. Yeah, well, he's dead. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do I miss him less? Exactly. I'm one of those people that loved him, right? Like, eh, super still sad about that.

Like, hey, but we clapped for your dead dad. I'd be like, well, fucking maybe he shouldn't be dead. Well, maybe you can clap him on. Right. We keep trying. Get up. Get that seal on. Come on now.

Wake up. Hey, buddy buddy is this thing broken as seen on tv come on says maybe plug it in somewhere different he's got an extra hole in him stick a fucking clapper in his bullet wound you see there are demons in the earth read matthew mark's gospel chapter 5 there are demons all over earth. Read Matthew, Mark's Gospel, Chapter 5. There are demons all over where Jesus cast out demons when he walked the earth. All right, so this story is from Right Wing Watch. Rick Wiles. Flynn forced out by devil-worshipping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs. That's what we're calling the Russians now? What do you mean, now?

I've always... Really? Behind global child molestation ring. Jeez. There are more fucking adjectives. That's a mouthful. Especially when you're talking about a global molestation ring. That's a mouthful.

Generally, if it's a child molestation ring, it's not much of a mouthful. Yeah, you double up. Oh, God. Oh. Fuck. Really? Really? Really? It's too early to turn the car around.

We can't turn the car around this early. I mean, I thought it was better. I'm making a fucking small dick joke about suck up. Then you're fucking doubling it up. I had the trump card. Oh, yeah, it is orange. I can see it over there. All right.

So here's Rick Wiles. We're going to play a lot of this because it's really funny. He just goes off for a long time. It's very funny. He's talking about Flynn getting forced out. And what he's referring to when he's referring to Clinton, to Hillary Clinton, he's referring to a tweet. And the tweet that she sent out was after uh flynn got let go they one of her aides her former aides tweeted out something like

sorry to see you go karma's a bitch or something like that basically like karma's a bitch um what goes around comets around it's the comet thing. Okay. It's a pun. It's kind of funny. He does not. He misses the joke. He misses the joke in an extreme way. So here we go. Here's Rick Wiles. Hillary Clinton's telling us up front what this is all about, guys. She's telling us.

Yes, I'm reading her tweet right now. She's bragging. It's about Pizzagate. She's telling them, we took you down. It's about Pizzagate. She's telling them, we took you down. You dared to talk about our filthy child molestation ring. Was his voice breaking in a false sense of sad, weepy outrage?

Are there any clean child molestation rings? That's a good point. Do you have to add filthy onto that? Maybe there are if you hose them down first. If it's a second use kit. That's true. You know, you don't want them to be all. Maybe if they're in those Devo suits. Whip it.

Whip it, guys. Those fucking pot hats. They're just like a fucking potted plant on their fucking head. Little jumpers. Yeah. They look so cute as little divos. Look at that. And now we took you down.

That's what she's saying today. This is about people such as General Flynn and others who are aware that there is a criminal cabal running this nation. Wait, there's a criminal cabal running this nation? Didn't we just get a new leader? What do they just be like, okay, so here's the criminal cabal. Is that a handoff? Here's what we're going to do. Here's what you need to do, President Trump, is you need to continue to run this criminal cabal.

If the criminal cabal doesn't change when the administration changes, right? Then why do they care? Then fine. Who cares who the figurehead is, right? It literally means nothing. It's like, whoa, we're real excited we got our other figurehead in place, but there's still the cabal

of child fuckers over here that are running. And why would the child fuckers be running the joint? Wouldn't they just be busy fucking kids all day? Wouldn't they be like, I kind of want to hide this underneath the rug. I don't want to fuck kids and run for government. It does seem like maybe you want to run a lower profile.

What I don't understand, because he's clearly got it. I don't know. He's probably on Trump's side here and thinks that Trump is. But if he's going to let Flynn go because he knows about Pizzagate, then he's probably on Trump's side here and thinks that Trump is, but if he's going to let Flynn go because he knows about pizza gate, then he's complicit in pizza gate. Right. Because that makes no sense.

Why wouldn't he just blow pizza gate out of the water and investigate it and come up with actual evidence instead of a bunch of, you know, random email. It doesn't make, it doesn't literally make no sense at all. And much of the world. email. It literally makes no sense at all. And much of the

world. And I don't know whether General Flynn comprehends that they are devil-worshipping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs. Yes. But he does know they're child molesters.

I don't know if you know about all these other adjectives that I just made up, none of which are real and most of which are magic. Really? That's awesome. I think that's great. He just keeps laying it on too.

It's like he's getting paid by the word. He's got the Dickens version. Exactly. It's ridiculous. It was the best of times. That's not going to be the worst of times. The Dickens is for the child molestation. The Dickens? I gave him theestation. That's the Dickens.

I gave him the Dickens. Please, sir. Can I have some? Really? Really? I'm sorry. Really? I'm sorry.

All right, Milo. I wouldn't give this good a head if it wasn't for father. If it wasn't for Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton told me to eat pussy when I was eight. He does know that they're criminals, that they're involved in child trafficking, child molestation, child rape. It's all the same thing. Jesus, man. How many different ways is he gonna say

kitty fucking like everybody says kitty fucking at some point jesus get off thesaurus.com child murder he knows it he knows it you can't be in that position of power and not have information about these people and it's coming to light and wiki leaks exposed just a tip of this just a tip i was going there well phrasing well those kids are a little you gotta start with just a tip it's very true you know you know, you don't want to wreck them right away. You don't. God. The worst, why are we even? The very worst part is that when we get our $200,000 book

deal from Simon Schuster. Someone's going to find this. Someone's going to edit this together and be like, see? Yeah, this is the part they're going to find, right? I'm just like, my whole face just falls. Of all the shit we've said. The other thing too is no one would ever listen to the back catalog. This ain't worth it.

No, actually, I don't care that they get $200,000. Here's the thing. They don't have to listen to the back catalog. They can listen to literally the last episode. I yell out, enjoy gestating your rape baby. So I feel like we don't have to work real hard to make sure we don't get anything nice in this world.

Exactly. Yeah, I know. Right? We have definitely written our own check. And that check is equals to zero. Yeah. Paid to cash. Zero.

Zero dollars? This dark, evil system. And General Flynn's aware of it. And others are aware of it it and it's coming out. And if it ever comes out in a fullness that the average person on the street sees it, hears it, understands it, there will be mass vomiting in the society. Who's going to hold our hair? That's really the question.

Who's going to hold our hair? And Lars just sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total barforama. Standby meat joke, man. Seriously, seriously, yeah. You know, when people hear about this, it's going to be a complete and total barforama

once people hear about it. Well, fucking, you know, as far as like most of the dumb internet is concerned, they think it's a real thing anyway. When people find out what these demon-possessed rulers have been doing for decades with children, the children who disappear, who are kidnapped and disappear, the children that are easily kidnapped out of third world nations, nobody even knows.

I mean, you get them in the jungles in the Amazon and Africa. They just disappear. Nobody knows. You can get them Amazon? in the jungles and the Amazon and Africa. They just disappear. Nobody knows. You can get them Amazon? Yeah, absolutely. Is it two-day shipping? Yeah, it's prime now, actually. Because, look, when you want to rape a kid, you're not going to wait two days. No wonder the box has a smiley face on it when it arrives.

If you turn it upside down, though, it's a frown. You just cut a hole in those kids anyway. Just cut a hole in the box and fuck the box. Jesus. Yeah. Jeez. You know, it's funny because you're just like, yeah, you know, all those kids that nobody can account for or that anybody knows about, all those kids are raped and stolen and murdered.

You're like, okay, well, that's fucking easy. And where do they put them all? Yeah. Like, where are all these, like, okay, so they get them from the Amazon? Like, where are they picking them like fruit? Do they have a little sticker? They clear cut them.

That's how they do it. This is why it's deforestation of the Amazonian children. What? Well, they're easy to find. They got those little heads. These children are being brought into a demonic system to be raped, molested, and then murdered. That's how we actually fuel our clean coal plants. How do you think these things run?

Where are all these bodies? Wouldn't we just run into them at some point crush them down into plutonium then we fire them into nuclear like I don't know what are we fracking with them just shoot them into a fucking squish well full of dead babies or something

that's outside of Planned Parenthood you just sell them to Planned Parenthood on consignment? Well, that's what you do, right? As soon as you fuck them dead and then murder them, or fuck them dead. Fuck them dead, I guess. You could do it in either order. I wouldn't throw it out after that, I think. They'll still keep for a while if you refrigerate them.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just a little cold. How long is it? What's the leftovers period? Like, best if used by date on these Amazonian kids. You could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportion. What do you mean biblical?

What do you mean this Old Testament, Mr. Mayor? Real wrath of God type stuff. Exactly. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave.

Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. All right, so this is also Rick Wiles. If Hillary Clinton won, we would all be dead from nuclear war.

I do want to say, too, I don't want to listen to this whole thing. It's like three minutes long. I only want to listen to the beginning because that's when he talks about Hillary.

Okay. God intervened in the affairs of this nation it took like half a day i was filling out ballots my hand got cramped up down in alabama and north carolina i was like filling them out punching chad chad i love this this chain of thought because um it just continues to suggest that nobody can believe that he won. Even after he won. Right. They're just like,

look, we still don't understand how this happened. It's not the will of the people. And God intervened. And God is Russia. Right. And prevented us from certain destruction.

We were going to war. Without a doubt. With who? With who? We were going to war, Tom. Look, you don't have to. She didn't get elected so you don't have to fucking quantify anything. Doesn't there have to be an opposing side?

It's all made up. It's fucking made up, man. It's all fucking like, it's all like Gotham by Gaslight. Some series that doesn't fit into a regular universe. You get to make whatever you want up. Join the army. See the opposing army. I don't even believe we would be here today, Doc.

I believe we would be evaporated by today. We all, all of us would be in glory by now. Well, isn't that what you want? Yeah. Like, wouldn't you be happier to be in glory? I love the idea. It's like, like, Trump turns out his first hundred days and it's like, we're going to do all this stuff. She turns out her first 100 days and after

day 30, it's like, no, sorry, everybody's dead. I've only got to day 30 and day 30, I nuke everybody. They're all going to get to glory. They're all going to star in a black movie about the Civil War. It's like all of them. All of them. They're the worst extras in that movie.

Let's be honest. She's a woman. She wouldn't have got us into a war. She probably just got us lost and she would have had to ask for rations. She might have done something like came out to one of the joint sessions of Congress and then decided no, I'm not going to go because I have absolutely nothing

to wear. I can't go. She's wearing the same pantsuit. You're going to live with Warren after calling each other before. What are you wearing? Yeah. There's no way I would have let it happen. She fixes illegal immigration by just incessantly nagging about it.

She calls a mutant just to tell him about her dreams last night. She calls a mutant just to tell him about her dreams last night. Hey, let's talk about our feelings. Oh, but we don't talk about our feelings. It's just like shooting missiles at us. We don't need to talk about this relationship anymore. She fires her press secretary because he answers the wrong question. The answer the wrong way to like, do I look fat?

You're fired. Get out of here. She's negotiating with someone. They just close her eyes. What color are my eyes? Hazel. Is it Hazel? No. Fuck. That's like all the colors. That's actually a good one. That's a good one to go with. Hazel. Go with Hazel. Always go with Hazel. When in doubt, it's Hazel. She's like, no, they're brown. Be like, yeah, they look Hazel. They change go with hazel when in doubt it's hazel like no they're brown be like yeah they look hazel they change color with your mood you moody bitch i always say

periwinkle periwinkle i don't know what color that is so it's perfect it's like periwinkle yeah it sounds good what color am i i don't fucking wait around the outside jesus unless you're from dune then they're blue around the outside abortions for all Jesus. Unless you're from Dune, then they're blue around the outside. Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some.

Miniature American flags for others. This story comes from Christianity Today's Society section. Franklin Graham says supporting Planned Parenthood like raising money to fund a Nazi death camp. Yeah. It's exactly the same thing. They have a new boxcar service that goes directly there.

Oh, Jesus. So you could just get on at home. So he made these comments in response to the efforts of Barbara Bush, daughter of former President George W. Bush, to raise support for the organization. He said, quote, Planned Parenthood is the number one abortion provider

in the United States. Raising funds for this organization is like raising money to fund a Nazi death camp, like Auschwitz, except for innocent babies in their mother's wombs. You know, and the hard part is getting a Zyklon B up there. That's actually a Zyklon plan B.

Oh, they get it till the next day. That's how you get it. Got like a string on it. You can pull it out when it's done. Got to take it in the shower. How do you crowdfund a death camp, by the way? Well, it's, it's a, it's a bit of a death camp, by the way?

Well, it's a bit of a rough Kickstarter. Yeah. It's like a goose step starter. It's not actually a Kickstarter. You know, what you do is you take the gold teeth from the people you kill in the first batch. There you go. But you have to have a first batch. That's the thing, man.

The startup costs are ridiculous. It does self-sustain after a while. But the startup costs are just absurd. That's why Planned Parenthood has to sell the baby bits, right? Oh, I see what you're doing. Yeah, I see how they go about it. So it's, you know, the first one's free, and then, you know,

it's how they... People sit outside like tapping needles. They get you hooked on abortions, right? But I mean, that is kind of what these idiots think. Right. They get you fucking hooked on abortions as some kind of measure of birth control, which pretty much is not generally used as a measure of recurrent birth control. So but it's just this is the idea that like killing a clump of cells the size of a fucking grape. Sure.

killing a clump of cells the size of a fucking grape sure is equivalent to killing a fully actualized human being is so fucking ridiculous and insulting i i resent the reason why i resent this kind of rhetoric is that it shuts down the conversation for what actually could be an interesting conversation about when life begins right because i Because I don't, I mean, I know that there's a lot of other people out there that feel the same way, that life does not begin at conception, but also life doesn't begin when the baby's head crowns from the birth canal, right? There's something in between there where life begins, but we can't ever have this conversation because they think that you know abortion is like auschwitz and you're like okay well look if we could just get to the

meat of this problem right of whether or not life begins after you know a hundred cells come together you know yeah whatever it is you know like what at what point can we start talking about what you think life is and what I think life is and then have a conversation. That's your whole point. We can't because it's a fucking hyperbole factory, right? Like all we're generating is outrage. Like that's the widget, like the widget is fucking outrage. And that's all they want to generate. If they, they fucking feed this garbage into the hyperbole factory and then the outrage fucking shits out the other side. And that's all that we have. That's it. And there is no conversation.

And it's a conversation we should be having. Right. And I think it's a conversation that evolves constantly, frankly, as technology changes and as interventional measures change. I think that number goes down. And I'm pro-choice. I'm like, they're with you. I'm pro-choice.

But as every year by year, the more viable that the fetus becomes outside of the womb, the more I push back on the 20 weeks or whatever it is. I mean, there's babies 22 weeks that are viable outside of the womb. Now, not every baby is viable outside of the womb 22 weeks. And that still, of course, brings into the question, you know, the health of the mother, whether or not it's right for incest. There's all these other things. It's such a complicated issue. There's a lot

of other complicated things that go into it. But, you know, I'm willing to have different conversations about this if you're willing to come to the table and say, let's have a conversation about whether or not. But what if all I'm willing to do is come to the table and say, it's the same thing as a Nazi death camp? Then I'm allowed to

gouge your face off with a coat hanger. Like I'm going to do to the face off with a coat hanger. I'm going to. Like I'm going to do to the baby. Oh, God. Jesus. So, Tom, let's talk for a moment about our sponsor, AdamandEve.com. We have a flyer here that we're looking at

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You keep on knocking. I'm going to let you in. This is Alex Jones. There's a ton of these. There's a ton of these. The witches are coming. Yeah. We could play them all sort of in a row.

Yeah, let's do that. So this is Alex Jones. Witches are coming after Donald Trump because he's good. My favorite part of this is how he describes Donald Trump. I'll let it play out. I'll let it play out. I'll let it play out. It's very funny. He understands more and more now that, no, the NSA is being used to spy on you, sir.

So now he's even, he's got a few areas. He's not been very computer technical. He's not been very computer technical. But I thought he had the best cyber. He did have the best cyber. Did he have the best cyber? Did he have the most cyber or the best cyber? I don't remember.

He had the bigliest cyber. I don't remember if it was the cyber or the best cyber? I don't remember. He had the bigliest cyber. I don't remember if it was the most or the best. You just China cyber is I don't remember. It's not very computer technical. It's not very savvy. He has like idiot savant regular people skills. What does the idiot savant regular people skills? That's my favorite descriptor of Donald Trump ever.

Idiot savant regular people skills. You are the favorite descriptor of Donald Trump ever. Idiot savant, regular people skills. You are the averagest average guy, but that's like, okay. Okay. All right. So his regular people skills are at such a high level. He's so regular. Like he's so right. Like he fucking shits at exactly 10 Oh one every morning. Not fucking 10 Oh two. He's that regular. He's fucking prune juice. He's that regular. He's fucking prune juice. He's like, he's almost 70. Yeah. He better be right.

If he backs up, he'll fucking explode. Fucking any day without a number two is like diverticulitis waiting to happen. And knows how to read people and knows how to have incredible mega level charisma in person. Yeah. He knows how to have. He does have mega-level charisma. He rolls 3d12. But he doesn't even say that he has it. He knows how to have it.

Gamer joke, guys. Get in your basement. We're going to live here forever. 3d12 plus 4. Mom and Dad says we have to live in your basement. It's all tile down here. They hose it down once a week.

It's like a habit trail for people. He does have mega level charisma. No, but he says he knows how to have it. He doesn't even say that he has it. Right. That's true. But he's like,

Hey, do you have mega level charisma? No, but I know where to get it. Yeah. I'm like a billionaire. I can buy that shit. What the fuck? I'm not really a billionaire. No, but I know. No, but I know where to get it. I'm like a billionaire. I can buy that shit. What the fuck? I'm not really a billionaire.

I just want people to realize that that's why every evil force out there hates Trump because he's good. He is good. He's not one of these fake Christian Pharisees that tells you how good they are all day or tells you you shouldn't have stubbed your toe and said the GD or whatever.

The GD. The GD, Tom. Hey, did you say the GD? and said the GD or whatever. GD. The GD. The GD, Tom. Hey, did you say the GD? I said the gangster disciple. Did you say the GD? God judges the heart, okay? I admit I do a lot of bad things and I repent for it. I'm weak.

I killed a hugger last night. I raped her and I killed her. I just strangled her until she stopped. She breathed in for a little while and I just strangled her. Killed her. I just killed her. Knew I was going to do it ahead of time. Did it anyway. Don't care. But I repent for it.

I repent for it. I said I was sorry in the air. That's what I did. In the air. Because I'm good. In the flesh. I constantly do stuff that's bad. But I'm trying not to is the difference. Constantly? I'm actually doing bad things right now. There's a tiny boy under this desk provided to me by andy wilson

constantly doing i'm all it never stops it never stops i'm just i when i'm not here i'm using my money to hurt other people it works for me and i love god and i want justice i'm not a coward and god hates cowards and people that hurt innocents and that abuse those that are weaker than them more than anybody if you read the scriptures. So all you fakes want to get close to God,

stop being cowards. Be like Donald Trump. Oh my God. Get like three marriages. Paint yourself orange. Jesus Christ. Get real old. Have a colostomy bag.

Guy's fucking awful. He's got to fucking... Fill your pants every once in a while. Say huge. Mispronounce shit. Have tiny hands. Make fun of the disabled. Lots of things he does.

Be like Matt Drudge. Be like people that get attacked and demonized and make it through it and get stronger on the other side. Don't be like all these little commentators and scumbags that hedge their bets when we are literally approaching the Guder Dameron if things go south.

And that's the battle of the gods. That's the twilight of the age. Which team are you, Jacob? Which one's the sparkly vampire? Yeah, I'm the other one. Whatever one is not. The hairy whatever one is a hairy guy. Dude, that guy gets fucking more pussy. Are you kidding me?

Which Edward or which pick one? They both get pussy. Jacob guy. No, that little twinkie guy. Are you serious? They're both fucking, they're both laid more than carpeting by empire. Are you fucking kidding me? The fuck, man.

That little sparkly guy. That little sparkly ass dude. That little sparkly guy is getting pussy thrown at him like a fucking frisbee. With the rosy fucking cheeks. Are you kidding me? Really? Jesus Christ, dude. No, man. That's not happening. No. First of all, alright, here's the question. Okay. Here's the question.

Hold on, hold on. It's an important question. Is it a donut or a donut? This is a donut or Danish question. Is it a donut or Danish question? Vampire or werewolf? What do you mean? I mean, which one would you pick? Is it donut or Danish sort of a situation here? So, I think I'd go...

But we're not talking sparkle, fucking rainbow. Well, what's the mythology, though? Which mythology are we going under here? Just normal everyday mythology? Then you pick vampire because vampire lives for a long time. Do the werewolves not live for a long time? Does a werewolf not live a long time?

I don't think so. How long does a werewolf live? I don't know how long a werewolf lives. Does he have to take a human lifespan and cut it by seven? How much wolf would a wolf live? Every time you turn it's seven days. You're like, fuck! He's going to the vet

for prostate cancer at like 12. I feel like... You got Harry Poggs there, Jimmy. You're walking around, you're like, smell weirdly like corn chips all the time. You're just like, fuck! You got that weird old dog smell. Your girlfriend follows you around with a poop bag.

Yeah, it's actually, you know, I was thinking about this. I'd go werewolf too. I didn't say werewolf. Vampire rather. I'd go vampire. Yeah. Because I don't want to wear the collar. Like that's for the other person.

That is. Yeah. That's not. I'm going to. I'll hold the leash. Well, that's for the other person. That is. Yeah. That's not, I'm going to, I'll hold the leash, but I'm not on the leash. You know, fucking come on.

I mean, fucking vampires are all about the submission for other people, right? They're in the dominating other people. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's not,

yeah, I'm not going to watch that. What's the worst thing that happens? You do a little spirit cooking once in a while, shrink a little blood, no big deal. But you know, the,

the, the advantage to werewolf is belly rubs. So I'm just saying. I'm not saying you can't be a vampire and get a belly rub. Yeah, but it's a little more awkward to ask. I'd still ask. You were looking to my eyes. You were giving me the belly rubs.

That vampire's laying there and his leg is going. He's twitching fast and making a fork. Twitching fast and back and forth. Make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen, we are in a critical juncture, the most critical juncture our species has ever seen. And that witch raises her head on the day that she publicly supports witchcraft and Satanism and black magic. They were in the news saying help trump dies voodoo dolls that's what they said they said they said help trump die could we've gotten a more articulate spokes witch like are you kidding me where's that where the fucking warlock with some sense when you need them?

God, what I love so much about that is that you have to believe witchcraft. It's so awesome. It's so awesome that they're like, that their fucking balls shot up right into their body when they heard Trump was going to get a curse on them. And they're like, oh, my God, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? Call the fucking Justice League. Who fucking cares? It's not a thing they're so scared they're fucking give me a break fucking nothing what we're gonna do is nothing because it's a nothing yeah it's like hoping at the sky you're gonna get rain it doesn't do anything

the fuck actually it does but only after 6,000 years of no rain. Everything has a light mist on it. Oh, it's just coated. What are you doing? I'm licking the dew off of this fucking remote control because there's no rain. I'm so thirsty all the time. I don't know how my body is mostly made of water at all. You know, I

would love to have a voodoo doll of myself. I think that would be... Oh, God, yeah. I don't know if there's that much material, but I would love to have a voodoo doll of myself. I think that would be... Oh, God, yeah. I don't know if there's that much material, but I would love to have a voodoo doll of myself. I just think, like, if you have to put, like... Because I would jerk it off. You're, like, coming in your pants. Yeah. That's so weird.

Look, Ma, no hands. No, no, look, Ma. Yeah, I don't know that she needed a voodoo doll for that. Have you seen what happened to Haiti? What happened in New Orleans? Voodoo and devil worship. Isn't it funny they have devil worship in Africa even before they ever heard from Christians? And China had devil worship and the Aztecs had devil worship because it's real, folks. I'm just so spectacularly baffled that he really thinks that they had devil worship.

That they would have a concept of the devil, which only exists as a biblical concept. I think what he's saying, though, is like... Is they had evil deities. Yeah, right. But he's forgetting that they also had benevolent deities. Sure. Right? He's skipping the benevolent deities because we replaced those.

But he's allowing them to keep their evil deities, right? He's skipping the benevolent deities because we replaced those, but he's allowing them to keep their evil deities because it better fits his narrative of... It's B-Y-O-D. Bring your own demon. Can demonic spirits attach themselves

to inanimate objects? The answer is yes, but I don't think every sweater you get from goodwill has demons in it but in a sense uh your mother's just being super cautious so hey it didn't hurt you anything to rebuke any spirits that happen to have attached themselves to those uh clothes pat robertson also super worried about witches. Big shock here. Because again, Pat Robertson thinks you can't buy sweaters at Goodwill

without cleansing them of their evil spirits. Here's Pat. Alright, this viewer says, my father is in a satanic cult. My son and I recently became Christians after seeing the power that this cult had. The cult has put curses on my son and I and the spirits have attempted to attack us.

Can the spirits hurt us? This is a grandpa who's in a satanic cult. Yeah, it's grandpa's cult. This is grandpa in a satanic cult. Well, why are you saying that? Are you ageist about this? I am. Why are you so fucking ageist about Satanism?

I'm having a hard time believing that grandpa, like grandpa can be a racist, but not a Satanist. Like I draw the line at Satanism. Where's that Venn diagram? Like how does that, how do those circles overlap? How do you mean you're a racist Satanist. I draw the line at Satan. What is that Venn diagram? How do those circles overlap? I think you'd be a racist Satanist. Can you be a racist Satanist grandpa?

I don't know. If we are both Christians. The Bible says a curse causeless cannot lie. What? What? What? The Bible says. And some, let me, can't rest on you.

Some, some demon power, they try to curse you. But in the name of Jesus, you take it back. And I may add, I read that a bunch of witches has gotten together to put a curse on Trump. And I, I think the Christians need to be praying for him to defend him. Oh, my God. We'll have a wish fight. Do you need to have the same amount of wishers on each side? Like, what if they have one more wisher than you have a wisher?

This is seriously. Like, what if, Tom? Oh, we have 99 sky wishers and we only have 98 sky wishes. This is a Voldemort versus Dumbledore magic fight. With even less special effects. Right? The stakes could not be lower.

They just couldn't be. Voldemort doesn't fight Dumbledore. He gets killed. Spoiler. They do have a big fight. Do they have a fight? They have a great big fucking wizard battle. Dumbledore, doesn't he? It's like in the fourth movie. Oh, I forgot about it. I thought it was. I thought not at the very end.

He gets killed by Trent Reznor and then everybody lives happily ever after. That's how I remember it. That's how it comes down to this. I literally I literally did not watch any other movies after he died for Trent Reznor. I was like, that's it. That's the end of the story. Everybody loses. I love that part of the story. Everybody loses.

I love that part of the story. Well, Bumblebee's dead. I love it so much. I was like, oh, he's dead? Awesome. Click. And then I shut it off. I was like, that's the best because there was no other stories after that. And I have not revisited this series. I don't care how it ends.

I'm like, that's how it ends. It ends with Dumbledore dying. In my mind, Trent Reznor kills Dumbledore. And then he goes on tour and kicks over his stand and it doesn't stop playing. You remember that shit? He would trash the fuck out of it.

He'd shuck the fucking keys off a piano like it was a fucking corn stalk. He'd take the mic stand and be like, and it wouldn't make a beep. It wouldn't make a sound. He'd be like, and you're like, and the music is still playing. You literally have no functional

instruments on stage at all. They're just smashing instruments. He basically brings pinata instruments. He brings them and fucking heroin comes out. He doesn't jump too hard because the'll the cd will skip you know oh it's so bad back then it's so funny oh it's terrible he smashes it it's just fucking needles

i totally spoiled harry potter for people oh no, about 10 years after that. Sorry, I spoiled a movie that's like 10 years old or whatever. Super sorry. Rosebud is a slut. That's all I'm saying. At the same time, send those curses back where they came from. Walmart. No, you send the curse back where it came from. I'm rubber, you're glue.

Any curses you shoot at me, bounce off me, stick to you. Na-na-na-na-boo-boo. Curses. Curses? Curses! Foiled again! I can't believe we're talking about curses. So, just resist it. In the name of Jesus,

I will not receive it. I will not receive it, and I command you, Satan, loose me. Here's what you say. I thought you just said it! No, no, no, no. This is important. He's got his fingers out the couch. He's got his bony digits already.

He's our accountant. His arthritisizers are out. So here we go. I thought he just said what to say, though. He could die before this is over. This is taped. This this is taped this is taped this is the only guy that's so old yeah he could die live in a recording all right so let's this is important though this is what you guys this is if you if you take

anything away from this episode what you need to take away is this is how you get rid of fake demons. I thought I already knew. Use these words. I bind you Satan and the forces of evil. I bind you and the forces of evil. He counted that different each time. He counted it different. At first it was five, then it was three.

And it's more words than anyone. That's because two of his fingers stroked out in the middle of that sentence. The number that counts in Shelby's three. No, but it's, yeah. He lost feeling in two of them, so he's skipping over those. And watch what happens. In Jesus' name I made it.

Okay. Oh, yeah. That's important. I find you. Yeah, and whose name? Jesus. Fuck! Oh, God, he knew.

Are you listening to Pat Robertson again? Shit. Back to Quiznos. And it doesn't mean that there aren't groups of people in this country that I have sympathy for. I do. And there are kids that were brought into this country by their parents unknowing that they were breaking the law. And they will say to me and others who defend the rule of law, we have to do something about the 11 million. And some of them are valedictorians.

Well, my answer to that is, and by the way, their parents brought them in. It wasn't their fault. It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians. They weren't all brought in by their parents. For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that they weigh 130 pounds, and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. Cecil, this is good news.

Yeah. I like this story. Yeah. I try so hard not to like things. And I even included this. And I'll be perfectly blunt. I see stories that I like and I don't include them because they're too happy

and they don't fit the theme of this show. This one is from Buzz. Great. Yeah, this is wonderful. And this is right. Churches are readying homes and underground railroads to hide immigrants from deportation under Trump. Think about the fact that for a second I was I was reading this and I was happy, but we have to be in a position where we're doing this. I feel a little fucked up about that. So this is actually reminiscent of some of the better angels of our nature from the abolitionist movement, you know, where churches and church leaders, and many of them did, really helped to establish and build and maintain underground railroad systems that helped to move slaves from the south to the north and championed the cause of abolition. And now we're kind of seeing a resurgence of that concept, and churches are in part leading the way.

And I think that that's great, but also fucking horrifying that we have to have this. I would also say too, you know, one of the things that the churches can do is not vote for this guy. Right. You know what I mean? Because overwhelmingly the Christian vote goes for this guy,

you know, don't vote for this guy and then have to fucking, you know, fight his policies. You know what I mean? This is one of those things though, that strikes me. And I don't have a ton to say have to fucking, you know, fight his policies. You know what I mean? This is one of those things though, that strikes me. And I don't have a ton to say about this,

but you know, one of the things that strikes me about this is this, this is sort of the same thing that has, that we're talking about with healthcare earlier that, you know, this is incredibly complex. Yeah. Immigration is a compredic,

incredibly complex issue in this country. And it's not, you know, it's not just, there should be no immigrants. And it's not, you know, it's not just there should be no immigrants. And it's, you know, I mean, I think that that's an asinine view. The answer is not all or nothing. Yeah. Right. There's a middle ground here. And I'm not open borders. I'm not a guy who's open borders, but I'm also not a guy who thinks we should be splitting up families for something one of that family did. Right. So one of the

family leaves and comes here and then they take their whole family and, you know, maybe the wife didn't have a choice. Maybe the kids didn't have a choice. Maybe the, you know, they brought the mother-in-law.

Maybe they met a woman here and they had kids. There's so many different things that can happen, you know, to get rid of, you know, the DACA kids to get rid of the, the dream act, you know,

whatever, you know, to get rid of those dreamers, what they call the Dreamers. It's a disservice to this country. It makes us a weaker country. It really does. That's the thing, too. Even if we just want to be selfish dickwads about it,

it makes us a weaker country. You're going to take those Dream Act kids and you're going to kick them the fuck out of here? You're saying, like, I don't care if you're the best and the brightest and motivated. taking, you're saying like, I don't care if you're, you know, the best and the brightest, the motivated, the, I don't give a fuck. Fucking, I don't need it.

Yeah. I don't need it. It doesn't matter. Just get the fuck out of here. Like you're taking, you're denying people that want to do the work. And you're saying, nah, you don't count because you weren't just fucking,

didn't have the luck of the draw to be born here. And all the kids here are innocents, right? we would we would consider them innocents if they were victims of child molestation you would you would consider them the exact same thing you'd be like that's an innocent kid he didn't have anything to do you didn't make a choice you make a choice on whether or not to have sex with someone they made the choice for him the same thing here they didn't make the choice to come here they didn't make the choice to be born here they didn't make you know and then to be like well now let's split apart this family. Let's split this family up because one of you is here legally because you were born here,

but then the other ones aren't. This is an asinine way to go about it. And I recognize, I understand the idea, like the concept of anchor babies or whatever. I get that concept. I understand it. Right. But at the same time, time uh i also have sympathy for human beings like i have sympathy for human beings and their struggle and and how they you know how they got here and why they're here you know there's ways to work around this now do i think that you should just like fling the doors open and anybody's available yeah and i don't think i don't know that's a good idea either but a wall certainly isn't going to change anything you know well wall is wall is symbolic That's all it is.

It's just a symbol. It's like putting a big fucking you're not welcome here sign down there. It's a noose in a tree. Yeah. It's a noose in a tree. It's all it is. It's a symbol of our ongoing...

I mean, walls... We talked about this before. Every time there's a wall built between one country and another country, it is universally reviled by history. We don't celebrate that. I mean, the Great Wall, like we fucking walk on it now, right? Like it's you go, you can fucking take a walk on the Great Wall. We revile these things typically, you know, as symbols of our hubris and xenophobia and we're going to build

another one and we think that we're going to be judged differently it's ridiculous it's outrageous you want answers i think i'm entitled you want answers i want the truth you can't handle the truth this story comes in the new york times failing new york times which is doing better than it's done in how long? Very long time. Long time. Very long time. Failing. 100 headstones toppled at a Jewish cemetery. Seminary?

Seminary. Seminary. It's a cemetery. Seminary. Cemetery in Philadelphia, which is kind of weak sauce because they kicked over 170 at a Jewish cemetery in Missouri recently. So way to be fucking second class Philly, your fucking garbage cheesesteak,

which don't fucking write me. Cause I fucking drove three and a half hours out of my way to eat that fucking Philly cheesesteak sandwich at the original owls or fucking whatever it was. And it tastes like human garbage, but hold on. That was a shitty sandwich. Hold on though

if people come to chicago and they go to al's beef because that's for like number one beef or whatever it's the most famous one it's a terrible beef sandwich you're right it's a terrible you're right you're right there's like cinnamon in it and it's like it's fucking terrible it's a terrible terrible beef sandwich is you can get such a much you can get a way better beef sandwich at portillo's you can get a way better beef sandwich at like nicky. You can get a way better beef sandwich at Nicky's Euro. Yeah, Nicky's is good. So is Mr. Beef on Orleans. Way better.

Mr. Beef is... Al's is garbage. Even Buena Beef is better than it. Buena Beef is way better. So maybe I just got exactly the wrong... Maybe you went to the first one. There was a huge line. I know that doesn't mean it, but I think that's

there's a fucking huge line. I don't know. It's like a fucking middle of the day in the middle of the week. Was it a shitty area? Well, it's Philadelphia. Yeah. Okay. It was in Philadelphia. I thought I mentioned that. Oh, yeah. So a hundred headstones toppled at a Jewish seminary. Yeah.

They initially Tom thought that this was vandals. Then it turned out to be Visigoths. That's not true. That is such a dorky history joke. They actually found out, Tom. They actually found out. This is at a Jewish cemetery. So they actually found out

that it was not human beings. This was a weather phenomenon called a Zyklon. A Zyklon B, actually. Now I know why you wanted to cover this story. How many you got over there? That's great. That's terrific. I love a Zyklon.

Oh, yeah. This is awful. They dumped a bunch of fucking headstones, but I want to talk about this other story that is... You know, and this is one of those things too. Trump was talking about when he was quizzed about this. Hey, what do you think about this? And when

we discovered it on the press conference, he was talking about, oh, sometimes other people do it to blame it on ourselves. Do you think somebody got, because we talked about this earlier.

This is not a one guy job. No, we vandalized. This isn't a two guy job. I vandalized when I was a kid. I know most, a lot of boys, I would imagine, we're not going to ubiquitously say that all boys vandalize,

but a lot of boys vandalize. You and I have shared some stories. We have fucked some shit up. I vandalized some stuff when I was a kid. Absolutely. I have too. I did too. I fucked some shit up.

I was a little asshole. I was a total dick.. I have too. I did too. I fucked some shit up. I was a little asshole. I was a total dick. Yep. And I did some bad things. But to push over this many headstones- It would take a long time. You would need a whole crew. You need at least eight or nine guys.

I think to push over that many- 170? You're each pushing- And to not get caught? Yeah. Because you can't go in here and be like, we're going to spend the next hour and a half knocking over fucking headstones. This is a- You got to be in and out in 10 caught. Yeah. Because it's, you can't go in here and be like, yeah, we're going to spend the next hour and a half knocking over fucking headstones.

This is a, you got to be in and out in 10 or 12 minutes. Even if you're looking at, even if you're looking at, you know, you just being nine or 10 of you. Yeah.

You know, that's, you're into the, you know, tens a piece. That's what I mean. Almost 20 a piece. Yeah.

So you got to hustle. Yeah. You almost 20 of these and you got to get it done in about five minutes, I would imagine, or somebody's going to notice. Because you're going to hear the sounds of these things falling over. Plus, and then they're going to look out there and there's a fucking crew of people knocking over fucking headstones. Yeah, I would imagine that it would take a lot of people.

This is a whole truck of hillbillies. I have a hard time believing that a bunch of Jews got together and were like, hey, what do you say? We go down there, we push a couple headstones over, blame it on Trump. Why? Why? I don't think that happened. I don't think that... That voice is accurate, though. But anyway... We should get Eli and see what he thinks.

He'd high-five me with his soft hands. Can we call a Jew? Can we phone a Jew? He'd soft-hand high-five me. It would be all wet. It's always wet. It always has this would be all wet. It's always wet. It always has this weird film on it. It's crazy. He's like one of those sticky hand things that's no longer sticky.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's called an amoeba. That's called an Eli. You go put the two quarters in, you get a Bosnick when you turn the thing or however that works. We get this other story though where it says Muslimslims raise over 91 000 for the vandalized jewish cemetery in missouri so you know that's great there's a couple of different cemeteries got vandalized this one in in missouri got a thousand nine almost a hundred thousand dollars

donated to help try to fix it and i and i think that that's that's wonderful right like this is how it it sucks that these communities have to be marginalized together, right? In order to kind of come together and be like, well, I guess we'll fucking put our differences aside. Fucking enemy of my enemy, right? And that's fucking unsettling. I think the best part about this is this is $91,000 that isn't going to Al-Qaeda. And I think that that is a benefit. The't going to Al-Qaeda. And I think that that is a benefit. For the Jews

donated to Al-Qaeda. Thanks. You know what? We'll return the favor. We'll return the favor. We'll return the favor. So we want to thank all our patrons, of course. We want to thank our newest patrons, Andres Nakia, Human Instrumentality Project.

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Abeson, and Cam. Thanks so much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. We also want to mention that on the 12th of March, we will be doing another live stream. Indeed. And so if you are interested in watching it, you can catch it at 3 p.m. Central Time. We'll be going live 3 p.m. So you can check it out on live stream. We'll put out links beforehand.

So you can check our social media to find those links. Or you can just go follow us on live stream. And I think you'll get a notification when we go live, uh, to your email. Uh, or you, like I say, you could just follow us on the, on those different mediums. We will not be on YouTube, YouTube. It'll be on later, but you can again, watch it after the fact on YouTube, but you'll be able to interact with us, which is the big draw for these streams. You'll be able to interact with us on the 12th. Is it that big a draw? I don't know.

Really? Not really. But one of the things that I think we're going to try to do is, because we don't really have much planned for this, if you want to send us stories that we can do for this particular episode, send the stories to us, but try to make sure they have video content. Because we're going to try to do things that are visual on the screen so people can see them. Like a burlesque show.

No? Did I misread that? You did. You're going to wear your pants, right? Okay. I am now. It's on the board. But we're going to try to utilize the screen so people will have something visual to look at as well.

So send us stories based on that. Dissonance.podcast.gmail.com. If you think a good story with a good visual story, let us know and send it to us. Mark your calendars. The 12th, which is a Sunday. It is.

At 3 p.m. Central time. 3 p.m. Is kind of the sweet spot for all the different places. So like 3 p.m. Our time is midday. 3 p.m. Our time isday 3 p.m our time is also like late night late-ish night nine nine or nine o'clock or so in the uk after 3 p.m our time in

australia at least one of the time zones in australia it's like eight in the morning so it's early morning australia but it's also monday morning right so like that's one thing sunday dude it's like fucking Christmas or something over there right now. It's happy fizzle day or whatever. It's fucking crazy. So what's the weather like in Smarch? You know, like you can turn it on

while you're shaving or whatever. I don't know. Like whatever. In any case, we're going to be on the 12th at 3 p.m. Central. So check us out then. So someone sent in. This is amazing. An interview with us of Ishmael. And. So check us out then. So someone sent in an interview with us of Ishmael

and this is accurate. This is. So we are joined again by friend of the show, Ishmael. Ish, how you doing, man? I love that it keeps going. I know.

Oh, it's awesome. The problem is that he says the N-word that many times. So that was from Dan. Thanks for sending that in, Dan. That's funny. We got a message from Scott, and Scott said he's just forwarding this along because Patreon is one of the affected sites. But it looks like there was a leaking, decrypted thing that happened with one of these major sites.

It's Cloudflare or GitHub or something. And it says, how many sites were affected? 4,200,000 possible domains. One of those happens to be Patreon. So basically it's suggesting change your password. But it's 4 million sites. But I would never, like the thing is,

you should probably just be changing your password every couple months anyway, and especially in different places. Patreon does not, as I recall, keep your payment information. No, they don't, right. But they could find, if you happen to use that password for other stuff,

they could find it that way. So it might be time to change your Patreon password. Got a message. This was about when we talked about, I don't know if this was live streamed or not, I can't remember, but we talked about the striped Yeah, the striped things that you look at while you fuck and then

it turns something into a striped thing. You know, here's the thing I wondered about that after the fact is a lot of times when I'm fucking, I'm looking at a woman and I've never turned into a woman. Like, wouldn't, every time I'm fucking. Yeah, but your kid's a little effeminate. So. Alright, yeah.

I mean, he can't throw a ball, right? Yeah. Throws it all weird like a guy with his left hand or something this is great though the comment is uh regarding striped sticks that's why christians have sex in the dark they're afraid their kids will resemble the wallpaper that's awesome so we got an we got an image from norway this is from siegmund and Siegmund sent this in. This is a picture of Trump practicing

or demonstrating. He says demonstrating how to work a glory hole. So we're going to put this on this week's show notes. So check it out. I think it's pretty accurate. Just imagine Trump miming a glory hole. I mean, he's like, he's going in. Big love on that. It's just a great way

to to it's a great image snap, you know, like one of those moments like always mid sentence, you know. So this is from Jerry and Jerry said he wanted to thank us because their dad was not doing

well and they used some of the jokes that we had said about the semen socks to their dad. And their dad doubled over in laughter and thought it was pretty great. The idea that you and your father could bond and have a heartfelt moment over a bit that we did around coming in a sock and turning them into puppets. That's heartwarming. It's also sock warming. I had the big feels and the feels were crunchy.

Wet at first. Yeah, crunchy when you find them later. When the maid finds them. Hello. We got a message. This fucking made me laugh out loud. This is from Mike. When your guest Marsh mentioned

that he talked to a conspiracy theorist who mentioned JFK getting killed because he knew we hadn't really landed on the moon, he would be half right. JFK didn't know we hadn't landed on the moon yet because he was killed in 63 and the moon landing was in 69. And none of us got that when he said it.

So funny. Was he saying like, was he saying like the whole, but I guess that this guy would think that, that JFK was part of that planning conspiracy to like plan the conspiracy in 10 years or something. You know what I mean? We're going to do it in 10. So we have to kill this guy because in six.

That's how we do it. I don't know. Jesus Christ. But I thought it was so funny. We got a message from Megan and Megan sent in an image for Trump. I love this image. It's Trump and Putin with a Calvin and Hobbes backpack. So we're going to put this on this week's show notes.

It's kind of adorable. We got a message. This is from Chelsea, and Chelsea wants some advice, Tom. Yeah, so the advice here comes down to, you know, Chelsea feels, I think like she is getting, um, brow beaten by the religious, uh, instruction or, or teaching of her folks. And she is not religious and she wants to know specifically, should I engage in debate with her, um, or just leave it alone? And he says, would it be too risky to even consider given the control that my parents already have over me?

Advice is appreciated. You know, your situation, I'm leaving out the first half. Your situation sounds a little more complicated. But, you know, I do. I am of the opinion that you don't hide your thoughts. You don't hide your feelings. You know, you have every bit as much of a right to those thoughts and feelings that are non-religious as somebody who has religious thoughts and feelings has a right to theirs. You know, just like you don't want to be treated in a dickish way by somebody who has religious thoughts and feelings, I would say don't treat other people in a dickish way with your non-religious thoughts and feelings, but there's also no reason to be shy or reticent or, um,

you know, feel like there's somehow a less than, um, set of thoughts and feelings to discuss. So yeah. I mean, if you, if you want to fucking have that conversation, just have that conversation. Uh, I would caution against, uh, doing that if however it would damage you in a way that could be, uh, you know, like, like somebody taking away privileges from you or things like that. Like, if you think that this is something that could really damage, not just your relationship, because I don't know.

I mean, you're going to be the judge on whether or not it's going to damage your relationship. I have no way to know. I have no way to know that. But I'm talking about from reading your message, it sounds like your parents, your parents had a lot of control over you and that could be damaging more than just a relationship.

And so consider your well-being before you do something like this. Definitely do that with caution if you think it's going to cause you some sort of harm. Tom, we got a message from C and C wants us to know about Jim Baker's food buckets. Hey guys, you ever been to Jim Baker's actual website? It really is fantastic.

There's a food bucket with complete recipes, which is supposed to feed one person for six months. Problem is it's calculated on a daily intake of three servings, which averaged to 500 calories. Are you kidding me? Wait, the three servings? The three servings.

So is it 1500 a day? No, 500, because it says the website itself admits that you need 800 calories a day if you plan to survive without any physical labor at all. Needless to say, most of the servings consist of brown sugar oatmeal or white rice or low-fat milk, but there are eight stroganoff in there. So there's eight stroganoff recipes. They're going to fucking fight over them or something. Thunderdome for the stroganoff.

And, of course, the 25- year shelf life comes with footnotes. He's also started selling lemon lime detox and the silver gel that quote works faster, longer, and more efficiently than other silvers. I love that part. Silvers. Is he talking about old people?

They don't work very fast or long or efficiently. Actually, it depends on their colon maybe yeah perhaps perhaps just feed it in and it's like a fucking slip and slide right out so i i think this is i think this is so funny i i've never really been to his website i thought something wasn't somebody gonna eat some of his food at some point yeah i can't remember was it the scathing guys were gonna eat his food or i something? I think they were. There's something. I don't know if they ever did or not, but I'm just curious.

I'd heard somebody was going to try to eat his food. That's the thing is like as a patron goal, I don't know that I want to. First off, I'd be real reticent to pay that man money, but then also to try to fucking cook that garbage. Like I might buy like a couple of fucking little packets from him or something. I would buy the packets. But I don't want a bucket. fucking little packets from him or something. I would buy the packets. But I don't want a bucket. I would not buy a whole bucket of food. What the fuck would you do with a bucket?

Fuck that. I wouldn't even shit in that bucket. Yeah. Not even after three days in the woods. If he sold them individually, I would consider making them on screen, like recording it and then eating it. I would consider doing that.

But I would not want to make, I would not want to pay enough money for a whole bucket. They're not cheap buckets. Yeah, they're not. And it's like fucking, but I would buy a, a,

a fuel less generator, fuel less generator. Asshole. What a piece of. Anyway, so that's going to wrap it up for this week. Uh, we are,

like we said, going to come to you live, uh, on the 12th. So market calendars, you want to join us for the live stream, 3 p.m. Central Time. But as usual, we're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.

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doublespeak stigmata nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands, bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, or butthurt arising from consumption all information is provided on an as-is basis no refunds produced in association with the local

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