Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 358: Sackcloth and Ashes

Episode Date: May 15, 2017

Stories covered in episode: (video) (video)  Livestream:  Our New Podcast Citation Needed: 

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com right now and enter GLORY, the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout, you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Hey, this is Desert Dave down in San Antonio. How you guys doing? Yeah, you know, as worthless and useless and lazy as Tom is, he does know food. You have to give him that, except for his basic pizza, of course. But, yeah, you got to go across, bro.

It's a rule. I think it's like a law. You got to go across. And he also wins on the Danish donut thing. So now you know the right answer. You can publish it. Oh, speaking of food comparisons, I expect to hear you guys compare them, which is better, the great Texas whiskey that I gave you or that watery shit from Utah that some other guy gave you.

So go right home, motherfuckers. Hey, guys. First off right home, motherfuckers. Hey guys, first off, last episode, hysterical. I think I probably looked like an insane person driving to work in my car. So I appreciate it. But I just want to ask a question. How is it

possible for people like the coach, not the coach, to believe in Jesus and creationism and refuse the science and say that's like the devil and a conspiracy to destroy the world but still believe in cloud people and cloud eaters and beings in the sky i don't understand how anyone listens to these guys without thinking they're absolutely insane it It's just not. I don't get it.

I don't get it. My mind explodes every time I listen to a podcast of yours. And I appreciate it, but it's damn confusing. All right. Thanks, guys. Glory hole. Hey, Tom and Cecil. This is Brian from Pennsylvania.

Just wanted to say I just listened to your latest episode. You're saying that there's only beautiful people on news television with few notable exceptions. Well, I got one really notable exception for you. Fox News correspondent Charles Krauthammer is one of the ugliest fucking human beings I've ever seen. Honestly, if you took Raoul Reagan's corpse and combined it with a dissected frog, it wouldn't come even close to this man. Glory, all motherfuckers.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at.

This is episode 358 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, we're just returning from vacation. Yeah, we just had a nice little vacation. We just took some fucking time off. The listeners didn't notice because we recorded shit at a time. Because we're responsible like that. That's what we do, right? You guys don't suffer in order for us to take a fucking vacation.

But we just got back. I spent a little bit of time in Puerto Rico. Incredibly impressed by the volume of razor wire in San Juan. It's interesting to know that their fucking chief import in fucking San Juan, Puerto Rico is clearly a gates and razor wire and cats. They had a lot of beach cats. I got, I got, you know, it was so funny i was i was there with my

girlfriend right and i'm and i'm i we did the zip lining thing through the to the jungles they just tie a bunch of cats together and you slide yeah it's that's cat gut it was literal cat gut literal so like we're we're sitting there after the zip lining thing and this fucking tailless stray cat comes along you know and like my girlfriend's like oh let's feed it a fucking dorito or whatever you got these doritos and she reaches down she feeds this cat a dorito and very gently just takes the dorito from her fucking fingers like she's fucking snow white or some shit and like fucking has birds that help her fucking get dressed and i'm like oh and i get a fucking dorito and i reach my hand out and fucking that cat's like scratched me like scratched me like drew a little

blood like fuck and i was like oh fuck you cat this is why the dog is a superior fucking pet product it knew you're a dog who i did it away. It knew I was making fun of its fucking tailless ass. That's why. Those cats are real sensitive. Yeah, fuck that cat. At least I have a fucking home. You dirty stray. There is a lot of dirty pussy down there. I know. It's fucking reject pussy. It's all over the place. That's what it is.

It's just fucking pussy. That's why I brought my own when I went there. Just stanky pussy down there. Which is amazing. Fucking hop in the fucking pussy. That's why I brought my own when I went there. Just stanky pussy down there. Which is amazing. Fucking hop in the fucking beach. Clean yourself off a little bit. The fuck is wrong with you? And you just returned from a ghost

tour or some shit, right? Colorado. I wasn't a ghost tour. It was supposed to be a tour and then they asked the question, do you mind if i talk about the ghosts in this place i'm thinking oh we're just gonna not say anything right and like four idiots raised their hands so we had to hear about all the fucking ghosts that are supposed to be in this dump and they keep on saying the one person's like yeah so we're standing at the

stairway and there's a ghost vortex and i I'm like, get the fuck out of here. Why would it be a vortex? I was making Dyson jokes. I'm like standing with my wife and I'm like, oh, this is like the upscale. Where's the one with the bag? This is a bagless version. So where's the bagged version?

That's the Ghostbusters one, right? Exactly, Act 1. Fucking, it was ridiculous. But, you know, I got to say, Colorado, I have nothing bad to say. You know, you normally come back from a place like, ah, it's a fucking garbage state. Like, Colorado is not a garbage state. Like, it's genuinely a beautiful state. Now, I will say this.

You go fucking east of Denver and it's Illinois. It's a garbage state east of Denver. Yeah, it's nothing there. Right? I went east of Denver and you're just driving and it's sprawl and it's nothing and it's Illinois. It's a garbage state. Right. I went east of Denver and you're just driving and it's sprawl and it's nothing and it's fucking brown and ugly. You're like, great. Fucking all you would need to do is just, you know, like, like put a sign that says I-80 there and you know, you'd be right where, where I-80 runs right through Illinois,

anywhere south of there. But once you get west and north of Denver, it is stunningly beautiful. The people were nice, and I didn't have any issues. I thought it was, it's a gorgeous place. If you could do drugs there, I would go there right away.

If you could do drugs there. I will say, like, I went to Breckenridge this year, and I felt the same way. I was like, I could live here. It is extraordinary. Every view, every view when I was way. I was like, I could live here. It is extraordinary.

It's so beautiful. Every view. Every view when I was there, I was like, that's breathtaking. No, that's also fucked. I can't. It was amazing. Denver, Colorado in general. And I went to Colorado Springs.

And while I don't like the city of Colorado Springs, I didn't enjoy my stay there, I would say that it's not a bad city and that the area is gorgeous as well. Did you visit Gordon Klingenschmitt? Isn't that where he's from? No, he wasn't around when I was down there. I will say this. I had pizza in a restaurant down there. And while I didn't enjoy the toppings, the crust was quite good. I was like, it was actually very good. I was impressed. It was a brick oven pizza. The crust wasn't like New York floppy. It was, you know, there was some substantial... Yeah, right. It could get an erection. You could pick the piece up and it wouldn't fall off.

And it was, it was a solid pizza. So I was like, all right. You know, I will say when we were at ReasonCon, we ordered like a wheelo pizza, like a 46 inch thing of pizza. Sure, the tabletop. And I was impressed with Heath's technique. Heath had a technique clearly derived from the trauma of eating so much New York pizza. Yeah, this is a guy who grew up in the garbage streets of New York. Right.

Clearly homeless. Panhandling. Yeah, I mean, look at him now. He's still homeless. I mean... Now he's just an old Nazi that's homeless. He likes just waiting for his chance to turn him in. Oh, God. But yeah, he has,

he has this like a waiter holding a fucking table. Like, you know, like with two hands, he does two hands. He's got a, he's got a technique and I admire it because, you know,

without that technique, that same sloppy, slitty, shitty piece of pizza. When I handed it to somebody else, no shit, they folded it in half and it created a grease channel. And the grease dripped onto

the floor and created like a slipping hazard. It was crazy. What I really think is really amazing about New York style pizza is that they can recreate the garbage juice in the gutters by folding the pizza. And I think that's ingenious of them. Well, it's like a dipping sauce. That's why.

It's just... They should just pour ranchious of them. Well, it's like a dipping sauce. That's why. It's just like when you get like. They should just pour ranch inside of that. You know, like choke that fucking thing down. You ever have one of those nights where like, like you're suicidally depressed. So you order Papa John's. Never a single time. But I will know when I'm going to kill myself at least. Like a night where you look at the gun in your safe

and you think... When you look at the pizza cutter and think, I could do this. I could do this with a pizza cutter right now. Maybe tonight's the night. Maybe tonight's the night. And then it's just like that one picture of your child that keeps you from doing it.

That kind of night. It's a Papa John's night. That's a Papa John's night. That's like their commercial. Wouldn't that be a great commercial? Somebody's just sitting there. Papa John's, he's standing on a stool and he's got a noose on his neck and he's rocking it back and forth.

It's like, it's a Papa John's night. And then like the camera moves and there's just like a shadow of a swinging man. So like when you order Papa John's, it's a pizza that's so bad that they serve it with a sauce to make it taste like something that you didn't order. It's a pizza that's so foul. They're like, I don't know. Pour this other sauce on it. Here's some buffalo sauce.

Hope it tastes good. Like, this pizza's terrible. I don't know. Put ranch dressing on it. Like, here's garlic butter for your pizza. So true. You got to fish it out of the sauce to eat it. Their pizza's so bad,

they treat it like an Oreo cookie. You got to dunk it. So it was better than Papa John's. It was better than... I guess if you were ranking pizza, New York pizza is lower than Papa John's. So yeah, it's better than Papa John's. No, it's clearly. Papa John's. No, it's clearly like, there's like Jack's pizza that you get like from the frozen pizza.

Yeah. Like the Jack's, it's like four for $10. And the whole, like the flavors are like stomachache. Diarrhea. Oh, I'd like another slice of colitis, please. There's a great bit that the, I don't know the guy's name,

the guy who does the hot pocket bit. Oh, Jim Gaffney. He's like, just cut out the middleman and throw it right in the toilet. It's like that. You know, just cut out the middleman, just go get Jack's pizza, just slide it right in the toilet. Just cut out the middleman, because it's only going to take seven or eight minutes to go through you anyway. It's like milk through Eli's bowels. Wakefield is not just any researcher. His 1998 study on autism and childhood vaccines literally changed the way many parents think about vaccines.

The study was based on just 12 children. That's right, 12 children. But many parents desperate for answers around the world embraced Wakefield's claim that he'd found a link between autism and the vaccine for measles, mumps, and rubella. This story is from the Daily Kos. Anti-vax activists. That's actually kind of difficult to say. Anti-vax activists? Anti-vaxivists? Anti-vaxivists. Vactivists.

Oh, I like that. It's like those intactivists, those people who are trying to regrow their foreskin, those folks. You're looking at me weird. Do you not know about this? Do you not know about this? Is this like a penis pump or something?

No, man. It's even funnier. So, you know, like there's all those folks who are like, you know, you shouldn't circumcise your boy or whatever, right? Sure, yeah. Which is, yeah. I didn't circumcise mine. There's no reason to. It's there.

I wish I had the rest of this. I could use every quarter inch I could get. Me too, my friend. I would like two quarter inches. That would be good. And I always wanted a sheath. I always wanted to just be like, shing, shing. I just wanted to do that, and I can't.

I wanted to make a metallic sound when I whip it out, whip it out. Please name it something vorpal. Sorry, baby. This thing needs a sheath. Be like, keep it sheathed. Yeah. That's what keep a sheath. Yeah. That's what most of them say.

That's what all of them say. Man, I got to get out of this school zone. Are you kidding me? Those are the only ones that say yes. Yeah, to the candy. Oh, no, any better. But like there's a group of the intactivists, right, that are saying

like we can regrow. They want to regrow their forest. They're not regrowing anything. They just hang weights and shit off the front of them. And stretch them. What? The fuck are you talking about? I'm not on board anymore. I was for a few minutes. I was like,

wow, that sounds, no. They just like stretch that fucking thing out. What? Look, I'm all for stretching some things out down there. Don't get me wrong. But at a certain point, I don't use weights. I feel like my grip is good enough. I've been pulling at it for a long time.

20 some years. The foreskin's been in the same position. I've been trying to readjust for a long time. I've been pulling it longer. It just retracts what I've done anyway. It's like a turtle in its fucking shell. It's like I'm...

Okay, so I gotta read the title. You gotta do it again. No, no. We already talked about anti-vaxivists. Anti-vaxivists cause record measles outbreak among refugees. And I picked this one because this happens all the time. Sure.

I picked this one because it's among refugees. Because the refugees fucking need this shit. Right, yeah. Right? Yeah. The refugees are like, well, everything else was going so well. I lost two kids to bombs. Can you vaccinate for those?

Jesus Christ. Do you vaccinate against crossing large bodies of water? Do you have like a gill vaccination? I need to be able to swim like Aquaman. It's crazy to me that this happens. They show up here and then they get told by the area fucking knobs that are like, Oh, you don't do that. That shit causes autism.

And then kids get like a bunch of kids got sick because of this. Isn't this strike you as such a fucking first world problem, right? These people are, you know, they're in this awful situation that is completely beyond the norm in any first world country, right? You know, in any, in any area of the world where, you know, there is, you know, a civilization, this sort of thing is not happening. And they show up to this place where they think, you know, oh my gosh, this is going to be great, you know, and then they show up and people are, they're willing to throw away things that other people that we take for granted that other people don't even have. And it's so funny because like food is the same way, right? We talk about, you

know, we don't want GMOs and we want to grow things organic. And it's all, it's all because we have this great abundance. Yeah. It's grow things organic. And it's all because we have this great abundance. Yeah, it's a privileged stance, right? And it's the same thing when it comes to medicine. It's like, you do this when medicine, medicine's like, oh, you do that GMO shit. Well, hold my beer. I'm going to fucking fuck this shit up. You know what I mean?

I'm actually going to kill some motherfuckers with this. Isn't that crazy? Can you imagine? I actually can't even, I can't even fathom. And I say this with real sincerity. I cannot fathom the insane rage I would experience if I did all of this shit to get my family away and then my fucking baby or whatever gets fucking measles. Yeah. I would lose my actual fucking mind.

Yeah. measles yeah i would i would lose my actual fucking mind yeah i would lose my actual fucking mind to be like wait a fucking vaccine for fucking god damn ye olde times illness yeah after all that like we survived we survived like the fucking insane murderous regime of asad we as you know we we survived like whoever he's fighting because i I don't even know anymore. Like the other side is, you know, cause it's fucking like 17 sides at this point. Right. And there's a secret side.

Right. Let's be real honest. Yeah. I said, and then like you make it over and like all the fucking attendant difficulties and horrors and traumas and dangers associated with that. And then it's like, Hey,

fuck your babies got measles to be like, I fucking spike that thing at that point. Like who needs that? Boom then it's like, hey, fuck you, baby's got measles. I'd fucking spike that thing at that point. Who needs that? Boom. This is nothing but trouble. I don't even care anymore. I have to tell you, it's an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated. This story is from Salon.com, Alabama congressman. People know Cecil and I are going to disagree very sharply about this this story. So this will be interesting. And I do think that the headline is misleading. Alabama congressman, people who lead good lives don't have preexisting conditions.

So rather than summarize this, I think we should just get into playing the video or playing playing the clip and then let's chat about it. Yeah, sure. Yeah. People with preexisting conditions will be protected. Insurance companies will not allowed, not be allowed to deny them coverage. But my understanding is, as you just mentioned, this new legislation would allow states to opt out and allow insurance companies to refuse to sell insurance to people with pre-existing conditions as long as there's some with some setup for them, pools of some sort. Is the president sending a message to Congress to change that provision or did he not understand what was in the bill?

Hold on a second. I want to talk about that question before we get into our point of disagreement. That's a kind of a that's a that's a nice, jaded question. It's a real sharp. So the president, is he going to fix this or did he not understand it? Those are your two. I am presenting you a question with two choices, neither of which I know you're going to like. This is a question grenade. Right. Oh, sir,

when did you stop beating your wife? It's so funny. It is such a great leading question. Well, that's not my understanding of the way the bill has been reframed. My understanding is that it will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool i want to stop me well this is not even a point of disagreement yet either but i want to talk about this um man fuck that shit right fuck that shit where it's like if you're if you have higher health care costs those people are already poor like typically speaking people who have higher healthcare costs, they're getting fucked anyway. These are the

people on disability, right? These are the people who can't work a full-time job because they got a fucking hip dysplasia, like a bad golden retriever or whatever, you know? They have, like, wheels and they have to drag themselves around. It's like, you know who should pay more? Like, this is so Republican. You know who should pay more for shit?

The poor. Won't somebody think of the rich you know it was like in great health people are like oh i stubbed my toe i need like 11 plastic surgeons uh my feet are hot someone come fan them for me yeah like are you fucking kidding me i i i think that this is an asinine way to do it and if you look across all the major countries, they spread the cost out over everybody. Nobody pays anything except for through your taxes. And everybody, I would imagine you pay through your taxes

based on your income. So your income generates the money for your taxes, and they just take that amount out, period. There's just an amount that they take out, and they don't go like, well, you're super fat. You gotta pay more but i think of my dad like my dad used to own his own company he woke up and he went to work every day and then he had a major heart attack and he couldn't work anymore and he sold his company and then like you know he's fucking broke ass he drives a

fucking school bus right then he's had multiple health problems after this, you know, heart attacks and all that. So as he has gotten sicker, he is able to work less. The man can't work like he used to work anymore. He used to work two, three jobs at a time. Now he fucking sometimes drives a school bus.

Like, that's it. Like, as his health problems rack up, you can't be like, well, now that you got less money and you can work less, we should definitely

charge you more money. I absolutely think so. But I will say this, though. I used to know this guy. He was a very hard right leaning independent. Right. So that's where I mean, really, in my opinion, he was about as as conservative as you can get. But he had some social issues that he didn't give a shit about.

But there was a lot of stuff like fiscally. He was fucking complete fucking hard right. Yeah. And he when we were talking about healthcare, and this was when Barack Obama was doing the healthcare bill, you know, he's trying to do Obamacare. I remember him bitching to me about how he just didn't want

to have to pay all this money for somebody to go to somebody that smokes. I have to pay the same amount that somebody who smokes pays. Like, fuck that. I have to pay the same amount that somebody who smokes pays? Like, fuck that. I have to pay the same amount that somebody who's super fat doesn't take care of themselves?

Why do I have to pay for that? Why do I have to be the one? And of course, the thing that he doesn't understand is like, you know, there's somebody out there that doesn't use the roads as much as him, but they're paying for it, right?

Sure, right. There's somebody out there who their house never burnt down, but they still pay for the fire department yeah right so well and that's just how fucking taxes work that's just how it works where where you spread the cost over everybody the socialist mindset works that way that's if all you want to do is pay for yourself you don't need insurance at all just put money in a savings account and pay for your fucking own problems. Exactly. That's insurance is a way to spread risk, right?

By aggregating resources and spreading risk. Like, sure. So just don't even use insurance at all. Right. Don't use any kind of pooled resource plan whatsoever. You know, the other thing that people like that don't ever think about is like your body could have a congenital time bomb. You don't know about.

Yep. Absolutely. You know, like, absolutely. And I'll relay a personal story. Like my dad recently had several pulmonary embolisms. Right. And he called me on the phone. It was like, yeah, I fucking had a bunch of pulmonary embolisms. That's what killed your grandpa. Your uncle had the same thing. Turns out it's a genetic disorder. You might have it right. Called me up and it's like, well, you know, now I got to find out if I have this congenital

time bomb. Right. What can I do to prevent it? Nothing. It's a genetic issue. All I did was just wake up born, right? Sure. Turns out I don't have it. I'm pleased, but you know, fuck my dad, right? Yeah. So, but the point is like, you, you could walk through your whole life having this congenital time bomb, this genetic issue that you have no idea exists that has nothing to do with how you behave. Yeah. It's not behavioral at all. This isn't the exists that has nothing to do with how you behave. Yeah. It's not behavioral at all. This is the fuck you're supposed to do about that. Like all I could, I tomorrow I could have a fucking stroke tomorrow. Right? Like just cause I'm healthy today doesn't mean that I'm healthy tomorrow. Even if I do all the right things to keep myself healthy. And I think that this is the major disconnect between the two parties

though. Right? There's a very strong side of independence on one. And then there's another side on there's another strong piece that's sort of saying, you know, while communism certainly isn't the answer, there is some socialist things that we should have some some way in which to spread that burden across all peoples. Don't you think insurance is kind of a form of economic socialism anyway? Absolutely. You know, it's funny because I live in a condominium and that's a socialism. Right. Exactly. Your homeowners association. My homeowners association dues go into fixing the whole building. You know what I mean? And you get a chance to see in these meetings that you go to, you get a chance to see the people who starkly disagree on this stuff. Some people are like, no, they're your windows. You should fix them. They're like, no, they're part of the building.

Everybody has to pay money to get these things fixed. That's how this works. I know I lean left, but here's what I don't understand about that idea, too. It's like, you live in the same building. If somebody wants to buy a unit in the building, and a third of the windows look like shit,

everybody loses. It's the same reason it's like whether you have kids or not, it's like always support the schools in your neighborhood, right? Because good schools drive neighborhoods, whether you're ever going to fucking use them or not. My kids can fucking grow

up and fucking move away, and I'm still going to be like, every referendum for schools I'd be an asshole not to pass it, because good schools mean people want to buy in my neighborhood, which raises my property values, which is money in the bank. What you think about that? Kids are going to take care of me when I'm older. So I want to pay for as many smart kids as I possibly can. But even if I didn't want that, even selfishly, even selfishly. And I think both of those are two selfish reasons. You know, extend that, extend that metaphor though out. And you know, you have the

shitty windows in your building that you got to fix. Think about this in the healthcare system, right? Do you want a nation full of people that can't get good healthcare that are sick and that are broken down? Or do you want a nation of healthy people? Right. You know, like I get in the subway, right? If I get on the subway and that dude over there has some communicable illness that he can't afford to get fucking covered. And he's like, sure. And then now I get fucking disease, right? Why did I get it?

Cause that motherfucker over there doesn't have fucking coverage. And he got on the fucking subway. Fucking dark man's face is coming off. Exactly. It's like, it's like by being selfish, we burn ourselves. We hurt ourselves so much.

It's a fucking, it's just, to me, this is a fucking supremely simple concept, right? Because we aren't living in a fucking bubble. We live in a society that interacts and affects every single person. Sure. To contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives. They're healthy. You know, they've done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people who've done things the right way that

are seeing their costs skyrocketing. So I, the only thing I have a real problem with is at the end of it when he says, those are people who've done things the right way, because that to me has an implication that somebody else did something the wrong way. But everything leading up to that, I really just genuinely don't feel is offensive. Yeah. and I, and I, and this is, this is, we were talking about this before we started recording. I hate that whole fucking sentence. I hate that whole fucking sentence. You know, I understand his point, right? So I don't want to, I'm not going to pretend I understand his point. I understand his point. And we kind of touched on his point, why we disagree with it, right? Exactly. We both disagree with this point.

His point is garbage because it's what he's saying is fucking healthy people should be like fucking making it rain and everybody else is like fucked but like for me like when you say like people who lead good lives what is that why why throw that in there why are you throwing that in there people who lead good lives who are healthy like if when you put those two things next to each other to me the direct implication of combining those things in the same sentence is to say that if you lead good lives, you will be healthy. But that's not always the case. There are people who lead terrible lives and are healthy. There are people who lead really good lives and take good care of themselves and are incredibly unhealthy.

This is not a I did things right and that's why I'm healthy issue. This is not a I did things right and that's why I'm healthy issue. I think there's a lot of moralizing built into that statement that suggests that it's a sick person's fault for being sick because they didn't take care of themselves. I see that with the end piece. It's a sick person's fault for being sick. that this, you know, selfishly, this is how the healthcare system should work. Somebody who eats right and somebody who is healthy and somebody who is, you know, doing the right things, exercising three times a week

and doing all those things that they need to do to make sure they're healthy. And that pays off for them. I don't feel like he's saying that automatically if you, you know, that the people who don't do that stuff, and I just don't see like there's an implication there until he says that last line. You know what I mean? I don't know if that, if that makes sense. I just feel like when he says like the,

who lead good lives, like, why are you saying that? Why are you saying that? If not to say that a good life equals health and a bad life equals like, like a sloppy language. But I think he's, I think he's saying like a good life in this. I mean, the way I interpret it. And again- Like good choices, good healthy choices. But I still resent that implication because there are so many people,

people who make good healthy choices that are still unhealthy because of congenital issues that they have no control over. Like Eli Bosnick. Like Eli Bosnick, right? He's a monster of a human being, right? We all agree about that. But he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke,

and he's a vegan. And look at his garbage, garbage body. Look at his awful, shitty body. I mean, that is the worst body. I think we can all agree. It's the softest, shittiest body. If you could have a return policy on bodies, like, you know, like L.L. Bean, right?

Like, no matter how long you have it. I got this one. You get Eli Bosnian's body at filing basements and you return it to L.L. Bean. And then it's like, you're like, I don't know, like this. They're like, we threw all those out. That's the last prototype.

We discontinued that model. This was never supposed to be sold. He's like the Homer Simpson concept car. But you're rubbing it. You're like, but it's soft. It's like a manta ray. It's like so soft. It's so jiggly.

Now, in fairness, a lot of these people with pre-existing conditions, they have those conditions through no fault of their own. See, he does acknowledge it. Right. I agree. Yes, he acknowledges it. I think he catches himself like he's. I kind of hope he does.

You know, maybe maybe he was just being shitty and he's like, I guess I'm being too shitty for CNN. And I think our society under those circumstances needs to help. And I think our society under those circumstances needs to help. The challenge, though, is that it's a tax-referencing act between the higher cost of these mandates, which denies people coverage because they can't afford the health insurance policies anymore, on the one hand, and having enough coverage to help those people who are truly in need. And it's a very complicated question, and I'm sure over the years there will be different permutations of it, both in the past and as we go forward.

Well, I didn't understand what he said there at all. Did you understand that? No, I think it's all just jib jab. And actually, I think he was talking about the same group two times in a row. I think what he said, this is how I would interpret that. Healthy people are better, but I'm not allowed to say that. So what I really mean is, sometimes

grandma gets sick and we all feel sad. This is complicated. I don't know what to do with it. There may be other things in the future where we don't off just outright kill grandma, but we're not rolling those out. Yeah. I love that.

I love that the Republicans have basically number of times and a number of them at this point have come out and said, all right, look, we don't have a better option here. We know we don't like what's in place. But this is real hard. We just want to break something.

And it's Obamacare. We have nothing to replace with it. No better ideas. They really don't have a better idea. I mean, if you read through some of this stuff, and the thing that really just burns my ass is the tax break for rich people. I know, it's just embedded in there out of nowhere.

It's like, if you make a quarter million dollars, you may a little less on your investments. Why is that in the healthcare bill? Isn't that amazing? What is, why is that? 250,000 or more, you pay like 3.8% less on your capital gains. Okay.

What? The fuck? Really? In celebration of the healthcare bill, buy champagne with this. It's like Thomas Smith had a funny line from a video that he said. It's like, wealthy

people pay a little less, and that's great because you might need to borrow some money from one of them. You know, like, it's a very funny line. Yeah, I love that their answer is like, I don't have a real good— And this is one of the most unpopular things. Have you seen the favorability polls for the HCA? Do you think it's going to pass the Senate? No.

No? No. No. No. The favorability rating of this bill is like in the teens. Yeah. It's in the fucking teens. I am.

I am telling you all the stuff that's been happening with the Republican Party lately. They are. They are. They are in many ways going to just. I will be so blown away if they retain the House and the presidency in the next election. I would be blown away. I'd be like, I just don't know how things work anymore. Dude, I will vomit on my own dick. I would just be like, you know what? I don't know why I said that.

Where do we, can you shoot me in space? Is that a possibility? I'm just, you know, I think it's Sweden time at that point. What do you think? Well, Australia won't let me in twice, so yeah. Yeah, we're going to have to go to someplace you haven't been. Well, they don't even have in Sweden, though.

I don't know. What's there? Swedish fish. You have to live off those. This will not cover pre-existing conditions, and 133 million Americans with those pre-existing conditions will suffer. Kids like James Kish, an eight-year-old in my district who has a brain tumor and literally

stands to die if this bill passes. This story is from TheHill.com. GOP representative, nobody dies because they don't have access to health care. Let's listen to him say it, though, because it's only 15 seconds. Let's listen to him say it. You are mandating people

on Medicaid except dying. You are making them die on Medicaid except dying. You are making them die. No one wants anybody to die. You know, that line is so indefensible. Nobody dies because they don't have access to health care. Listen to the crowd. I think the crowd disagrees. Nobody dies because they don't have access to health care.

This is a line that people tout that are like, well, you can just go to the emergency room. Yeah, if I'm having a heart attack, I can go to the emergency room. They'll treat me for a heart attack. But like acute illnesses are not the only things that kill people. It makes it sound like, you know, what they sort of spout off is this idea that like, even if you don't have health insurance, you can always just go to the ER. And yeah, while that's true, you can't go to the ER for preventative care.

You can't go to the ER for maintenance care. You can't go to the ER for, you know, regular, you know, insulin shots, things along, you know, you go for acute traumatic illness, things along those lines. Like, that's what you go for. You can't get...

If you're diabetic and you need insulin to live, you would have to go to the ER every day? Is that what you're saying? The ER is not going to... Let's say the ER doctor says, you've got fucking diabetes. Maybe they can write you a prescription, but if you can't fill the prescription because you don't have access

to fucking medical care and you don't have health insurance, you can't afford it. Well good did it do you? Didn't do you any fucking good right? So like writing down Tom needs medicine. Well fucking Tom knew he needed medicine like doesn't give me medicine like that's all a prescription

is is Tom's allowed to buy this. That's all that a prescription is. It's not a free prescription you don't get like a dollar off or something. So a prescription is meaningless it's just permission to spend your money on is. It's not a free prescription. You don't get a dollar off or something. So a prescription is meaningless. It's just permission to spend your money on something. That's true. There's an article that I found about this. This is on PolitiFact.

And so there's a bunch of studies that showed that people die at great rates. We're talking tens of thousands of deaths, some of these up into the 40s, thousands of deaths, as few as 7,000s of deaths a year because they cannot get medical care. And there were a few contrary views that they selected. But when you think about this, there's a bunch of studies that show this,

that show that people do die because of lack of medical coverage. That's a thing. That's a real thing that happens. Doesn't it seem self-evident? Yeah. I mean, I ask that genuinely. Doesn't that seem self-evident? I think the problem is that there's a narrative that they think that you can get that kind of coverage, like you say, in an emergency room, right?

They think that. People think, well, it doesn't matter. You can just go, it doesn't matter. You can just go to the doctor and they will treat you. And I don't know that that's, like you say, it's not always the case. I don't know if you could get cancer treatments. You're not gonna get chemo.

I don't think you could get chemo. You're not gonna get radiation from the ER. Yeah. So preventable deaths, some preventable deaths, clearly, because we don't cure cancer, but people live longer when they get those treatments. And then there's other forms of leukemia and stuff that I know for sure that are perfectly survivable. They won't do surgery. Let's say you have a fucking suspicious looking mole. Right.

And it's like, you go to the, you go to the ER. They're not going to be like, Oh, well let's do a fucking test to see if it's a melanoma. Yeah. That's not what the ER is for.

That's not, they're going to say, go to your fucking GP, go to a dermatologist. Oh, I don't have access. Well, the fucking ER is not for that.

Yeah. And then even if it were, couldn't they get it through the state though? I mean, doesn't the state, like if you're that poor and you can't afford it, could they go to the state and get something? I don't know. Like, I mean, I know that I have a very

close friend who blew out her knee and the difficulty she had getting scheduled for knee surgery was fucking ridiculous. Yeah. Ridiculous. And that's on state? She's on state aid. Yeah. So, I mean, fucking ridiculous to try to get that care. And if you just don't have access, or if you're in that weird middle ground where you're not so poor that you have access to that.

That's the people that are very, very vulnerable. And that's the truth, right? Those people that are just above the poverty line, that something like this will. Yeah. It'll just break them if they can't afford health insurance. Sure. Pre-existing condition that precludes them from getting coverage. I know that they're saying they want to keep some pre like the pre-existing conditions on there. But from the clip we heard earlier, it's not the case. Yeah. The states are example. The states are just gonna be like, well, why would I do it if I don't have to care? States are example. States are just going to be like, well, why would I do it if I don't have to? I don't care. So, Tom.

Yeah, Cecil. I'm always curious how you're going to intro this portion of the program. It's springtime. It is. It's a time that you would take someone and put them on a swing outside.

Oh, I see. You know what I mean? Sometimes spring has sprung. Spring has sprung. Right. Swing has sprung. Swing has come. Who knows?

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And I love the attendant picture from this story. So go to the site and check this guy out. This is from Cleveland.com whose website looks like it was just designed yesterday by a nine-year-old. Televangelist, it's terrible. It's from Cleveland. I know. Cleveland looks like it was designed

yesterday by a nine-year-old. If you're in Cleveland, you don't have a lot of planning experience. Did you know Cleveland is actually one of the fastest growing, like, best, like, most upcoming cities? Is it really? It's a garbage city. I mean, you're not, yeah. I've been there

two or three times. I'm right there with not. Yeah, it's right there. I've been there. I've been there two or three times. I'm right there with you. Never once thought I could live here. Their real estate community is on fire. Wow. So is the lake by them. Oh, my God. Televangelist Ernest Angley closes the cathedral buffet.

And I do want to say in all seriousness, this is a tragedy. It is because there's not going to be any more hot cross buns. Anytime a buffet closes, an angel's wings catch on fire. You used to have this theory

about old country buffet. You used to have this theory. And Tom's theory was, and it's a pretty simple theory, that they only had two flavors at old country buffet. If you're familiar with old country buffet. You used to have this theory. And Tom's theory was, and it's a pretty simple theory, that they only had two flavors at old country buffet. If you're familiar with old country buffet, it's a really cheap buffet that they used to have around here.

I haven't seen one in a long time. I don't know if they still exist. I assume the health department got wind of them. They stopped them from serving those rats. But there was only two flavors. And your theory was that there was a sweet table and a salt table. And the good thing is

that at this place, they could demark each one by a pillar of salt. They just have an angel and a devil? Yeah, so there was a buffet. I used to call it efficiency eating because you could go and consume an insane volume of calories

for like $7 or something, right? But the only problem is you have to drink all the available water for the rest of your life because you're so dehydrated. I remember going there as a kid because it was the one place that we could go to eat a lot of food, right? All the food, yeah.

We used to go there when I was working. I used to go to old country buffet with my friends and we'd be you know we'd be off work and be on a saturday or something we'd catch a movie and we'd go to old country buffet to eat and i remember going to like you say like the sweet area had no flavor you get like if you get like five yeah five cinnamon rolls right put them on your plate and then you start shoving them in your mouth. These taste like a sweet dough that is just really kind of... There's nothing to it.

I really... I contend that it's all the same recipe. Just shaped differently. Just shape it like, oh, make this the mashed potato shape. That's a salt one. Oh, make that the macaroni shape. That's also a salt one. It's the same thing.

I used to only eat two things there. I'd get a big giant plate of their fried chicken and eat it and then I would get a big plate of cinnamon rolls and just eat it. That's all I'd do. It's a great plan. You got a plate of the salty. You got a plate of the sweet. I should have made like a sandwich. So what the church here was doing was using volunteers.

They had a bunch of volunteers and people that are not getting paid. Probably voluntold to show up, right? Well, you know, you get shamed into doing it, right? You probably get shamed into doing it. And, you know, they wind up with this, they wind up, he winds up having to pay a bunch of damages and back wages to these people because they were, he was using basically free labor from the church. The church had to go in and donate their time to do this work. That's called slavery. Exactly.

I mean, like, they got a name for that? When you have to work and you don't get paid for it? Exactly. That's called slavery. Old country slavery. There's a reason Old Country Buffet has a southern theme. And you know, the other thing, too, is I've learned, I sort of learned my lesson with volunteers.

I went to the Asian massage parlor. And while Carl was very friendly, Carl? He had a very strong grip. I do not recommend. Two stars

on TripAdvisor, my friend. Two stars. I do not recommend. Two stars on TripAdvisor, my friend. Two stars. I prefer somebody to take their time a little. Don't rush. He at least warmed the oil. So that he gets two stars. Carl gets two stars. That is the sound it made, my friend. Well, that's dry as shit.

That's dry as shit. Oh, no. That's a sandpapering. My cock was trying to made, my friend. Well, that's dry as shit. Yeah, it's dry as shit. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. That's a sandpapering. Well, that's because my cock was trying to retreat to my body. It's a two-inch race. It's a sack race. It's a one-legged race.

It's a race nobody wins i'll tell you that much city after city watching ordinances that say that your seven-year-old daughter, if she goes into the restroom, cannot be offended and you can't be offended if she's greeted there by a 42-year-old man who feels more like a woman than he does a man. All right. This is for right-wing watch. This is sackcloth and ashes, Kevin Swanson. Sackcloth and ashes. This is to cover yourself in a poo. This is – God is god sackcloth and ashes isn't that just like the like the sad little goth kid he's like renamed himself yeah it's like it's best friend room i'm sackcloth and this is ashes we're like the fucking eeyore of the emo kids this is in

sisters of mercy all the time. Have you heard the great new Seether album? Yeah. No. No one has. No one has. That band is fucking terrible. That is fucking terrible.

The new Typo Negative Kill. Typo Negative. I forgot about that band. That guy was on another octave. I've got a pretty deep voice, and I sound like a yeah like sisters of mercy is the same way though sisters mercy and typo negative are the exact same way they just have this like super deep voice guy ridiculous yeah that guy that guy from typo negative though he's like one of those guys like he's like one of those spaceships that came to earth in star trek that communicated with the whales when it was underwater.

He's like one of those things. You know what I mean? That guy's dead now, I heard. Oh, is he? Yeah, I could be wrong. I actually don't care. You couldn't get a transfusion? He should have been type AB negative. That's great. Wouldn't it be awesome if he was a Jehovah's Witness? Sorry, I can't drink any of that blood.

He probably showed up to the emergency room. Nobody could hear him. He was like, I don't know. I don't know. He's like, he's telling you very specifically. I don't know what you're saying, but my glasses are on the table. It's like a T. It sounds like a T-Rex is chasing us.

Everywhere you go. I guess. When you're voicing. He can't even communicate. He's like a bellows with a deep kazoo in it. Hello, I only speak stand-up bass. Yeah, you gotta slap him to get the car. Hold on a minute minute let me get out your translator let's clay pool I don't know man it's just story

what did Kevin Sorbo say I'm fucking tired well let's just let's just stop laughing for two seconds okay i'll try yeah we're getting like seven bad itunes reviews already you're having a lot of fun and i'm not there i got the big sads i don't have any friends the state has an agenda with your children. And friends, I realize that this may sound a little bit hyperbolic. It may sound a little bit of an exaggeration. I don't think it is.

Oh, from you? Oh, no. Oh, not an exaggeration from Kevin Swanson. Heaven forbid. Because I think if you begin to see the trajectory of where things have gone and you just draw it out for the next five, six, eight years, you're going to find this is the agenda. The goals of the educational program for your kids in the public schools, the goals of the world for your children, is that your kids be transgendered and communist by 20 years of age. What the fucking what? What is the population of the transgender community

right now? The transgender community at this point, I think, is smaller than the gay community, and that's what? It's like the transgender community is less than a percentage. Yeah, because the gay community at this point is 3 or 4% or something. Yeah, I think it's like 4%. It's probably growing because it's a little less

dangerous now to be out. Right, it's less stigmatized, right? So again, growing. Same thing with the transgender community. It's less stigmatized now to be transgender. I'm not saying it's fucking easy. Don't misquote me here. Less is not not.

Yeah, it's not that it's easy, but I'm saying there are more groups out there that are more accepting. There's more people out there that are more accepting. But that to them is evil. That to them is evil. Yeah. people out there that are more accepting but that to them is evil that to them is evil yeah yeah yeah um anywhere else in the states you got a purdy mouth i don't even know but but this this guy thinks that just because you're accepting it you're saying that i want every kid to be transgender i want every kid that wants to be transgender to be transgender yeah i want every kid who is transgender right if like if that's who you are, then that's who you are.

Exactly. I want them to be who they should be. You know, grow up into the thing you want to be. That's what I think every parent wants. Well, most parents. Every good parent. Yeah, I think I need to qualify that because there are people out there that are very upset

if their kid were transgender or if their kid were gay or if their kid were, uh, if their kid were gay or if their kid were an atheist, you know, it's so funny. Cause it's like, this guy is saying, you know, that,

that that's the goal. You know, the goal of every parent is for their kids to be a groundskeeper, not transgender. You know what I mean? Like they want, they want to make sure that by 12, their kid is mowing the lawn.

Right. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like my goals for my kids are relatively modest like pick up one fucking lego one lego ever in your fucking life you worthless little shit pick up a single fucking lego maybe let the dog out before i ask i don't know like could you

can you have like fucking one self-sufficiency unit at some point ever that's all i want like the irony of you saying that this is amazing to me absolutely stunning like nobody's gonna cut off their fucking genitals because the public school system convinced them to tell you i'll tell you what you know that's absolutely yeah like what class what series of books am i going to read what lecture am i going to attend make me want to be a different gender. I'd like to remove my penis. What are you talking about? You know, to be a different gender, to live as a different gender,

is not something that you can just be like, totally going to do this. I've met, I've had the luck, I think, through this show to meet several transgender people. They're not fucking just havesies into this. You know what I mean? Just like, well, I just thought I'd wake up and just do this sort of thing. These are

people who, this is who they are and they want to express who they are. It's not just a fucking random whim like they think it is. Well, like, again, like, how would this work? Everybody reach... Like, all men and all women reach the age of 20, and then we all just play swapsies? Like, all the women transgender into men, and all the men transgender into women, and then we still have the same...

Unless you're a good Christian. What? Fucking what are you talking about? And then at the same time, we're just like, I don't know. I cut off my penis. And by the way, I'm also communist. Yeah. What do you, what the fuck?

What world do you live in? Maybe he thinks that they cut off the penis and then we all share penises. We all share it. Like, what do we do with all these people? You know what we do with them? We give them to the fucking women that transform into melee and we have an equal number now because everybody does it. But didn't they just seize the means of production?

It produces something if you seize it. Fucking Carl seized my means of production. I'm fixed. There's no means of production anymore. I guess that's true. You think I'm overstating the case, Steve? Boy, I don't know. I mean, if you take out the line from where they start,

you know, several years ago, and you continue on to its logical end. Draw that line out for the next five, eight years, friends. Of course. I don't even know what that means. I think what he's saying is that there used to be

a lot of shame associated with this. Oh. And we've drawn out this line, and this line is that as time goes on, people are more accepting of trans people and so now now if we

continue on that path and we become more accepting of I don't know what, then Do you think they're so confused that just because you accept that somebody else does something, that that's not the same thing as like, I want to also do that thing? I accept that some people like to go fishing.

Sure. I don't really like to go fishing. Sure. That's it. It's not like my dad likes to go fishing, right? I accept that about him. Sure. Every now and again, I will even go fishing with him, but I don't like it.

Yeah. It's not my fucking thing. I can enjoy it. Right? Like yeah you know i don't like it but every once in a while some kid you know of course this is the agenda parents just get serious about it do you want your kids transgendered and communist at 18 years of age i thought we had till 20 yeah i think i thought he just knocked two years right off of it. Jesus, he's fucking accelerating. This this this fucking agenda is accelerating so quickly in his two minutes

screed of insanity. He's already knocked two years off of it. Is that your goal? If it isn't, then maybe you ought to bring a different vision into the education of your children. Yeah, what vision is that? I don't, I mean, I don't understand. Like, the thing is, is that most people's kids are not going to wake up and want to be a trans kid.

Period. They're just not going to want to do it. So most people don't even need to talk to their kids about this. I would say a majority of people don't even, I mean, you don't really have to bring it up. Well, your kid at some point is going to be like, hey, I have a question about this thing. My son has a friend who has a transgendered sister. You know how many questions he has about it? Like none. Yeah.

It's not even confusing to him at all. He's just like, yeah. And he says, he's like, you know, I don't give names. He's like, you know, so-and-so's sister is transgender. And I'm like, do you know what that means? And he's like, yeah, born a boy. And now, you know, so-and-so's sister is transgender. And I'm like, do you know what that means? And he's like, yeah. Born a boy and now, you know, she's a girl. And I'm like, okay.

And then he goes and plays soccer. He doesn't give a shit. Because he doesn't care. Like, that's the thing. Like, these conversations are not complex with children. Yeah, they're not. They're not. You make them complex if you moralize for fucking a million years beforehand you make them

complex when you have to they have to fit your book right your old bronze age book when you have to start putting things in and be like oh well it totally disagrees with this book that i have what do i do and instead of like the the more tolerant religious sex out there that are just like yeah we kind of don't listen to that and that's kind of not a thing that we do. We don't pay attention to that. Instead of doing that, you've got to be super rigid because you think that that's sort of your salvation and way to heaven.

I mean, you're just fucking your kid up. It literally makes no difference to him. Now, here's what I want you to understand here. He says, look, when you sacrifice a child to an idol, you are sacrificing that child to demons. That's the word that's used right here in the scripture. I looked it up in the Hebrew lexicon. You know what that word demon means? It means demon. Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski will just be, quote, producing more little dark state devils. Do you even know what this story is about? Do you have any idea what the story is

about? Literally none. So I only know this in periphery because I don't pay attention to MSNBC. I never watch MSNBC. I guess I on occasion will catch Rachel Maddow if my wife watches it, but I don't pay attention to it. If I'm watching a lesbian, I'm watching

Pornhub. I totally understand. Yeah, for sure. Rachel Maddow is so fucking smart. She is amazing. And actually, I do like, I do like her show. Sometimes, um, I watched the tax show when she did the tax big tax breakout thing. I watched it. It was super disappointing, but I also watched a few other things that she's done. I'm not, I mean, I'm not crazy fan of her, but I, you know, I pay attention.

I don't watch a lot of MSNBC, but evidently these are two morning hosts, right? So they have a morning show called Morning Joe. Joe Scarborough used to be a conservative and a guy, I think a representative in Florida or something like that. So he used to, he was a representative either in Congress of the Florida state or of the country. And I'm not even going to bother to look it up because I don't give a shit. And his co-host, Mika Brzezinski or whatever her name is, they've been on the same show for a long time.

They recently just mentioned that they're engaged. It's a guy and a girl that have been working together for a long time and they're engaged now. And that's it. That's the story. So this is what he's talking about.

Great to hear this one. NSNBC Morning Joe, talk show host, Joe Scarborough, a so-called former Republican congressman from Florida. When he was around as a congressman, he was supposed to be a conservative, right? That's another story. Anyhow, he's engaged to who?

Does anybody know who he's engaged to? I see Edward's smiling. Who is it? Mia Brzezinski. A little bit of dark state incest. Who is it? Mia Brzezinski. A little bit of dark state incest, isn't it? It's kind of scary, actually. It's just disgusting.

Well, it's scary. Why would it be scary? There's just two people love each other and they got engaged. They got engaged. Here's the thing. If they disclose this to their boss, there's literally nothing scary about it. Who cares? Yeah. Who would care? OK. Like, does he think that liberals don't get engaged? Well, what you do is you slap them and then you drag them back by their hair. Isn't that how that works? I mean, really? I know he doesn't like them because these people are liberals,

right? So he's going to disagree with them on every point. I get that, right? I disagree with him on every point. But if Rick Wiles, I don't know if he's married, but if Rick Wiles got engaged, I'd be like, huh. Who cares? I mean, I can't imagine. I would be

more excited to find out that they had fucking pineapple orange juice at my grocery store. I'd be like it's delicious i love it i fucking want some yeah was it on sale i don't even care like here just take my money i'll just open my mouth you pour as much in as i mean i literally would be more excited about that news you know rick wiles engagement exactly right because but i think that that this is an extension of how they feel about gay people too, right? Everything is their business. Everything is their business, right? I was trying to hold the pieces of my head together.

I saw it, but I think I saved the day when I mentioned that, though. Oh, my God. You almost scanners me. But look at how much into business they are to everybody else, right? You pick one class of people and they are to everybody else. Right. You pick a, pick a one class of people and the talk about every, they know everything about everything. And they also know they also have this. I want to,

I have every right to tell you, you can't be in a relationship with someone. Right. They do that all the time. Yeah. Oh my God. And so this is just an extension of that, in my opinion,

judgy fucking judges. Right. Jesus Christ. Nobody, the thing that no oney fucking Judgersons. Right? Jesus Christ. The thing that no one would care about. Right. They're saying it's terrifying. These people that I don't agree with, they might enjoy their lives. Also, like the covenant of marriage.

Isn't that like one of your big things? Yeah, but they only want it for the people they like, I guess. That's weird. God, that's so bizarre. It's just disgusting. They just keep breeding. It's Bonnie and Clyde. It'll be on TV now.

Yeah, they just keep breeding and producing more little dark state devils. Like, aren't they supposed to be advocates of... Oh, I think that they don't want... They would be very happy if... And actually, to be honest, I think probably the liberal birth rate is probably lower than the conservative birth rate. So shouldn't they be pleased? Well, I think that they're sad that these guys are getting married and maybe will breed. Although that woman looks like she's pretty close to my boss.

Fucking changed a life, that shit. At 50? You ain't got no more eggs at 50. Oh no. You ain't got no more eggs at 50. no you ain't got no more they're all broken yeah all those eggs that's scrambled now at this point you've already over posited all your eggs out you're done you'd be done she's in hot flash time now so we want to thank all our patrons, of course, but we'd like to thank our newest patrons,

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Sure. There's a lot of weird characters in there. I don't know. That's not a thing. Jonathan, Wobbles, spawn of filthy monkey men. Andrea, I absolutely crave Canadian whiskey. It makes an excellent cleanser.

It does. Yeah. Drinking in between, drinking good whiskey to clean your palate. Jacob. No, I was actually thinking of cleaning the bar with it. The soulless ginger and Kelsey. Thanks so very much for your generous donations.

We really do appreciate it. You guys are the reason that Glory Hole Studios exists. So we want to thank you so much for your hard-earned dollar. We got an image from Jason. I love this so much. Jason sent us an image. I'm going to post it on this week's show notes. It's a Trump meme that made Tom and I laugh a couple weeks ago.

It's so funny. Incessantly. So check it out on this week's show notes. This is episode 358 at dissonancepod.com. We got another image. This is from Trevor. And this will be on this week's show notes. It's Pat Robertson, I think, looking pretty snazzy.

God damn, he makes a fucking weird, weird Pat Robertson. So we had a poll last week. We did. About Neapolitan ice cream. And the poll came in. 52% voted to draw straight across and get all three flavors. 52% are good people. And 48% voted that you eat one flavor at a time.

This is almost 600 people that voted in the poll. Can I just point out that almost 600 people had an opinion on this topic? And I would just say, too, that if it wasn't for the illegal Neapolitan voters, I would have won that poll. You won the electoral college, but not the popular vote. I did win the electoral college. I want to mention, too, a lot of people have been sending me messages saying, Cecil, you're a fucking idiot for, why don't you just buy three different flavors of ice cream? Understand, I haven't had Neapolitan ice cream since I was like six years old.

It's fucking prison ice cream. It's depression ice cream. It's what you get when you're wrong inside, okay? So if you walk into the fucking ice cream aisle nowadays, especially in America, right? Where you walk in and there's fucking 700 different flavors and you're the asshole that picks Neapolitan, you're a degenerate, okay?

You're the worst human being. Nobody picks Neapolitan. It's forced upon them. And that's why- It's rape ice cream. Exactly. You can't consent to Neapolitan, it's forced upon them. And that's why you can't consent to Neapolitan. So that's where that's where I actually stand with it. And that's why there was somebody who said it perfectly. They said, if somebody dares to serve me Neapolitan, this was on Twitter. They said, if somebody dares to serve me Neapolitan, I have no compunction about scooping out all the chocolate when never breaking eye contact.

I was like, absolutely. I'm with you, sir. I'll just stand there and pull out every bit of that chocolate. I'll scoop their fucking eyes out. Yeah. So that's where I stand on Neapolitan ice cream. I would never choose to buy it. I'm saying if you have to be stuck with Neapolitan ice cream, pick the flavor you want because it's a garbage ice cream as a...

The only worse ice cream is Spumoni. Yeah, some people were saying, try the original Spumoni. Spumoni is terrible. Spumoni is poison. I will say this, though. I don't dislike Rainbow Sherbert because it's all kind of the same flavor.

Sherbert is fine. And it's all the same flavor. Sherbert is just all the same flavor anyway. Sherbert is what you eat when you've run out of ice cream. Sherbert is what you eat. You're right. I would never choose Sherbert is just all the same flavor anyway. Sherbert is what you eat when you've run out of ice cream. You're right. I would never choose Sherbert. I'd never be like, where's my Sherbert?

I would eat all the Neapolitan ice cream on earth before I ate a Sherbert. Sherbert is what you have left over because your kid had his tonsils removed. Exactly. That's funny. But we did get several funny emails. This one tickled Tom. So Tom, what did Nathan say?

Nathan said, I've never heard anyone be so wrong as Cecil was on the topic of Neapolitan ice cream. And this is what I love. Period. I was honestly staggered. I staggered him. That's awesome. Well, enjoy your prison ice cream.

That's great. Fucko. Hope you don't get shanked while you're scooping it across. We got a bunch of messages about this. This one is from Mike and Mike was saying and a bunch of other people were saying

that just so you know, there's a possibility that Roger Ailes and other people have put in the contract for the Fox News anchors that are women that they have to wear a dress. And while I don't know that that's true or false or whatever, it would make sense. It seems likely that wardrobe dresses them. Yeah, wardrobe would dress the people. And I would imagine that those are decisions that are not made by the person.

Those are decisions that are not made by the person. Right. Those are decisions that are above, either above or below the person. Right. Like any decent job, you show up naked and somebody dresses you for it. Like Batman. We got a message from, this is from Ted, the angry pedantic x-ray guy. from, this is from Ted, the angry pedantic x-ray guy.

He had sent in a bunch of different license plates with a license plate generator that has Glory O on it. So Glory Hole. I would get that. I would too. We're going to post this, we're going to post the Alabama one on this week's show notes. You can check it out there.

Oh, I love this. So we got a message from Carolyn and Carolyn was a little upset about some things that we talked about last week. Oh, I love this. So we got a message from Carolyn and Carolyn was a little upset about some things that we talked about last week. Um, and you know, she was, and so we just, I think we need to just read what she said. Um, and because I think she makes some excellent points. And for once I want to eat a little crow. He says, Hey guys, I just listened to your podcast where you, uh, overtly made fun of robot rape. Be sensitive. My robot was recently raped and is currently going to a robot therapist. It's real. And my robot was listening

with me and you guys didn't give a trigger warning. So you've just said he, she, it, they, they way back. I love that. That's fucking great. Also, Tom, I may have you beat on horrible mother-in-law chefs. Mine legitimately has no sense of smell.

So she has a greatly diminished sense of taste. Can you imagine? You know, I got to say, having eaten my ex-mother-in-law's food, a greatly diminished sense of taste would have been a fucking gift. If I, if I, if one year I at Christmas had opened a greatly diminished sense of taste as a present, it would have been the only thing making Christmas dinner more palatable. Oh, God.

I bet you we could go through dozens of emails though of mother-in-law stories about how bad cooking some of their mother-in-law's side. I would read every one of those and I would top them all. We got a message from Dan. And Dan says, I love you guys can disagree so vehemently about something so inconsequential as whether donuts or danishes are better or how you can eat Neapolitan ice cream.

And he put on their team donut hashtag team across. That's very confusing. This fucker straddling the line. I'm not pleased with this at all. I also got to say, how dare you say that's inconsequential? Exactly. So this week we launch Citation Needed.

We do. I am incredibly excited about this project, guys. This is going to be a tremendous show. It already is a tremendous show. It's a lot of fun to do. The chemistry with Cecil and Eli and Noah and Heath is excellent, and I am fucking up every chance I get. It's been a blast.

He really is, guys. He's doing a great job at it. One of the things, too, is that this release is two days before that launches. So that means you'll have two days if you wanted to become a patron, you'll have two days to become a patron and download and listen to

those five Cutting Room Floor episodes that are currently on there. After that, on the day we launch, Wednesday morning, I'm killing those. I'm going to delete them from the Patreon. So all those episodes are going to go away. There are five, I think, really good test episodes to find

out what eventually we wanted to do. And they turned out very good. So there's... They're not an hour long, but it's a good at least three hours or three and a half hours worth of content that's available right now through Patreon. If you don't want to become a patron

right away, that's totally cool. Give the show a listen. We'd really appreciate people on that day, on the launch day, listening to the show, downloading all the episodes, telling your friends about them, sharing them,

rating on iTunes. All that stuff's going to help push us into a category called New and Noteworthy, which hopefully will get new people to listen to the show. So we'd really appreciate your help that day. If you're a fan of our show and you'd like to hear us hang out with the Scathing Atheist crew for a half an hour

and cover some topic on Wikipedia, you're going to want to listen to this show. And just help us out that week just by downloading and giving it a shot, giving it a chance. And this is a show you can actually let your like relatives listen to. Yeah. It's still filthy. Yeah.

It's filthy. It's filthy, but it's not this kind of show. Yeah. It's not, it's not a show that it's based a hundred percent on sort of being an atheist and being skeptical. There is a, certainly a thread of that throughout. You can't take that away from us. We're always going to be a little skeptical, a little atheist, that sort of thing. But it's not, it's not the focus of that throughout. You can't take that away from us. We're always going to be a little skeptical,

a little atheist, that sort of thing. But it's not the focus of the show. And so give it a shot. Give it a listen. We're also going to be doing a live stream with the scathing guys. So the whole Citation Needed, I got to stop saying that.

The whole Citation Needed crew is going to get together and we're going to do a live stream. We're going to be broadcasting it on the Citation Needed Facebook page. So it's going to be posted on the Facebook page. It's going to be playing on Facebook Live there. It's also going to be available on live stream through our live stream account. And we're going to have all of us on talking. Now, two of us will be on camera, Tom and I,

and then the other three members of the Citation Needed crew are going to be calling in to us and we'll be playing and talking to them. We're going to be doing a live AMA about the show and about other things. We're gathering questions for that now, but you're going to want to tune in.

It's going to be 9 p.m. Wednesday night, the 17th, the day the show launches. We're going to be doing a live stream. We're thinking it's going to be about an.m. Wednesday night, the 17th, the day the show launches. We're going to be doing a live stream. We're thinking it's going to be about an hour. So if you want to check it out, check out the Citation Needed live stream this next Wednesday. We will have links. And we will also be linking on our Facebook and Twitter to that Facebook page. So if you wanted to catch it on Facebook Live or if you wanted to catch it on live stream, you can do that as well.

So that's going to wrap it up for this week. So we're going to wrap it up for this week. So we're going to be back next week, but we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit, couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized Stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain deadpan sales pitch late-night info doc

attainment Leo Pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls Bigfoot Yeti, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands.

Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. you