Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 359: 10,000 Servings

Episode Date: May 18, 2017

     

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political. And there is no welcome at. This is episode 359 of Cognitive Dissonance. And Cecil, this is our leftovers episode.

This is a little bit of leftovers. It's leftovers. We had a bunch of stories we didn't finish. We didn't clear our plate. And I think it's fitting that we do this leftovers episode on Mother's Day. Neither one of us having a mother to speak of to tell us to clean our plates. Jesus. This is also going to be released.

Yes. The day after citation needed is released for the first time. The five episodes drop this the day before this goes out. So if this, if you're picking this up and you haven't heard about citation needed, citation needed is the new podcast that this, the scathing atheist crew and we are putting together. So if you're interested, you can find it on iTunes. It's at Citation Needed. That's the name of the podcast or citationpod.com. And download the episodes, listen to them, give us a rating on iTunes if you like it,

and we'd really appreciate it. So there's something, too, that I want to address before we get started. I've been meaning to address this ever since we got back from ReasonCon. This kind of happens every time we kind of go out into the world and show our ugly mugs to the public. We got back, and we met just an incredible number of people at ReasonCon. And I liked almost all of them except for you-know-who. And I'm not going to mention it. Sure. Yeah, yeah. But a lot of people found me on Facebook and a lot of people requested a friend of me on Facebook. I know the same thing is happening as well. I just want to put out there real quick, man, this is nothing personal. I don't accept Facebook friend requests from people that I don't know. I just don't do it.

We had a little issue a few years back on our Facebook page where somebody posted a picture of my house one time on our Facebook page after I posted a picture of some mail that we had received. And it just kind of freaked me out a little bit. My kids live there. It just makes me a little uncomfortable. We've got a show page. You can follow us at Cognitive Dissonance on Facebook. We can interact with you there. You can interact with us on Twitter. Cecil, I know you've been accepting Facebook friend requests. I have been.

On occasion, we'll purge my entire friends list of people if they start getting rude with my other friends. Right. Because that sometimes will happen. People feel like they really, really know you well from the show. sometimes will happen. People feel like they really, really know you well from the show. And then one of my friends will post something and then on my wall or something and people will tear them apart or attack them. And I, I just want to make sure that, you know, that that doesn't happen. I've tried to separate my friends out from the people who friend me from the show. And I'm trying to interact with people from the show. Um, but I may kill that list again.

I've done it in the past and I may may do it again depending on if people are... Poorly behaved. Yeah, if they're going to be nice and you just want to like the cat photos I post once in a while, great. But if anything gets out of hand, I've deleted people in the past and I'll do it again. Our Facebooks are very different than a couple of the other people, special people with pseudonyms because we don't have those. Right. So those are, we don't, I don't have a second Facebook. I just have a regular, that's just a me Facebook.

So all my fencing stuff is on there. All my shit is on there from that. And, uh, and so when somebody posts something from that, if somebody is rude to them, I'm not, I, I, I don't take that lightly. I'm actually that actually, you know, these are two areas of my world that normally don't interact. And so not overlapping magisteria. Exactly. Right. Yeah. So I try to be, I try to be real careful about it. I'm trying to friend people now, um, that I've, that are just listeners to the show and I'm trying to be good about it. Um, so we'll, we'll see where it goes, but, uh, but yeah, I understand

where you come from because that was a really scary day when we saw that. I didn't love that. That image of your house. Right. From Google maps. That was a little scary, especially being posted on a, on a, on a public forum with your address right afterwards was pretty frightening. So I didn't love that. And so again, it's nothing personal.

Um, and actually the person who posted it, I don't think they had any ill intent at all. In fact, I'm certain that they didn't have any ill intent and I'm not terribly concerned about my safety, anything like that. But you know, I do have to think about it a little differently. Like I've got kids, please don't take offense. You can interact with us on the show page. You can interact with Cecil on your page sometimes. And then you could also send us email. If you ever want to get in touch with Tom, send an email. Absolutely. He reads all the email. I know when you're out with other kids, kind of hard sometimes to even admit you're Christian. So let's talk about this story from Right Wing Watch. This is Lance Wallanew.

How is that? Lance Wallanew? Wallanew? I think it's Wallanew, I think. I don't know. I feel like he's missing a vowel between the L and the N. You're right. He is.

Wallanew. Wallanew. Wallanew. I hate him. Wallanew. Wallanew. Yeah. Wallanew. Let is. Well now. I hate him. Well now. Well now. Tell you some. Lance Wellnow. On the anti-Trump resistance,

the only thing they're resisting is God. Why is it every time this guy has a photo, he looks like he's casting a spell. Doesn't he look like a fucking mage where he's like... They capture him in full warlock pose. He totally is in fucking like warlock

pose every single time. He's like fucking part of the Chamber of Secrets. Right. Yeah, he just found the Philosopher's Stone. He's fucking super pleased with himself. Why is it also in fucking vertical video? And why is he always in a library? I don't know. I think... Probably because he gets free Wi-Fi.

It's like Dobbenmeer going to McDonald's. Yeah. All right. So here's Lance. Let's listen to him. You know, whatever happened to in the, in the Christian church, we had the church fathers who were the great apologists. Why are we silent?

Why do we, why do we villainize our ability to speak against the errors of our day? I'm already lost. I don't know what Christian church he's referring to. Do you? I don't know. Yeah, because I don't think there's such a thing as the Christian church. Yeah. Do you think there's such a thing as the Christian church?

Come on, of course not. Which one? There's so many different sects. There's super much more one? Yeah. Yeah, right. And also, why is he walking around FaceTiming people like a tween? What the fuck is that about?

Like, seriously, he's walking around being like, oh, you see my house's my fish let me show you around this is my dog oh isn't he so cute here's my penis isn't it so cute it's so tiny because the church fathers had apologists we had people uh that spoke and articulated the defense of the faith and the defense of the Christian worldview and the faith. Nobody's doing that now. There's nobody out there doing that. You're not fucking casting spells at people right now doing it.

I was going to say, isn't that part of what he is doing? I don't understand that. Is he saying that nobody has the balls to do it but him? Is that what he's saying? But he can't be genuinely doing that because you can just go on the YouTubes

where he's posting this, right? And find how many apologists, if you search right now for Christian apologist videos, how many do you think will pop up? Many, many, many, many, many. Pretty much only right-wing watchers page. A lot of these idiots go back to this

idea that like they will vociferously uh complain about how quiet they are and i find that baffling i know they do it all the time how can you yell about how quiet you are ace of paganism and what you have now in america is a modern day pagan culture shaped primarily by the defection of righteous voices from the high places of academia, entertainment, and media, and politics. Think about this. God, if you had those four pie pieces, you'd be one pie piece away from winning the game. I know, you go right to the center. Yeah. And then you get to pick. That's the best part is you get to be like, you know what? What do you pick? What do you pick?

You go to the center. If I go to the center, chances are I'm going to pick science and nature. The science and nature questions are the easiest science. They're like fourth grade science. They're pretty easy. They're super fucking easy, right? Yeah. It's either science and nature or it's the literature one for me.

Yeah. Literature for me, not so much. But sports and leisure, I can do. Oh, God. I get fucking the sports and leisure i like i have to be on a team yeah i have to be on a team it's like what famous tennis player i'm just like i don't fucking know yeah just like i don't know any tennis player like i know i know like if it's not andre the giant or whatever he'd be an awesome tennis player though. Can you imagine his fucking range? Can you imagine the grunting he would make?

Oh God, he'd fucking body slam the line judge. It'd be awesome. He doesn't even have to reach up to grab him either off that little thing.

Right. He just reaches out, grabs the thing and chokeslams it. Christians gave the four of the seven mountains up. And in America, we are in a life and death struggle.

What are the other three mountains? What are the other three mountains? Well, I think it's the ass, the mouth, and the cock. I think that's what they are. Think about this. Christians gave the four of the seven mountains up. And in America, we are in a life and death struggle to see whether this experiment in freedom can survive.

Don't even know what that means. I don't either. I think he's, I mean, if he's talking about the survival of the church, then maybe. But I think what he's saying, like the experiment of freedom, I think he's talking about the nation itself. Well, with Trump at the head. Yeah, that's an existential crisis to not only America, but also all of Earth and the people that live here and animals, plants. Because the enemy isn't just isn't going to accommodate. The enemy is going to continue to blaspheme, slander and stir.

When Hillary Clinton says 24 hours ago that she's part of the opposition, what's she calling herself? It's the there's a word for it. Yeah, it's like the opposite. The board herself? It's the... That is a word for it. Yeah, it's like the opposition. The Borg. It's the resistance. Oh, yeah. Something really sexy, like it's coming from Star Wars. What? It's coming from Star Wars, Tom. It's real sexy.

It's real sexy. Star Wars is sexy, as long as the girl's just wearing the head of the Stormtrooper, Not the rest of it. Because the boxy rest of it is not sexy. It's hard for me to jerk off twice to it. Yeah, exactly. That's the thing.

It's like the first time, sure. Yeah, fine. Whatever. That's just getting work done. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. Oh, I love this is right wing watch. This is our friend Jim Baker. Now don't scroll all the way down. I want to see if he's going to sell a food bucket.

Okay. At the bottom of the screen. Yeah, no, I get it. Bill O'Reilly's firing part of a dangerous plot to silence conservatives. Didn't we, didn't we hear this a couple of weeks ago too? We just, we're going to hear this anytime somebody remembers that they're sad about this. That's. Bill O'Reilly, his firing though. go to? We're going to hear this anytime somebody remembers that they're sad about this. Bill O'Reilly, his firing though, I mean, I think

liberals and conservatives can all get on board and be like, Bill O'Reilly did nothing wrong. So I'm just fucking with you. Here's that. He's not selling anything. There's no food bucket. He's not on a stage. Let's see. While we watch this, let's see if He's not selling. There's no food bucket. He's not on a stage. While we watch this,

let's see if there's a food bucket that I was joking around. I asked across the bottom of the screen. The lower thirds food bucket might come in later. It's 10,000 servings. This is probably one of the biggest news days in history. Things are breaking all over the place. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute.

Already. I just got to stop already. This is one of the biggest news days in history. I don't know when this was recorded, but I also don't care because when I think of the biggest news days in history,

I'm thinking like, I bet when we entered either of the World Wars or VE Day or dropping the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki or, you know, nine 11, for example,

or when Osama bin Laden was killed or, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just naming days that I randomly can think of. That would be more important when Truman defeated Dewey. Mondo, you have what I think is probably the most important news story to the church world.

Absolutely, Pastor. Sean Hannity this week talked about conservatives being targeted to be shut down from every angle possible. This affects the... Hold on. Are we talking every angle possible or just the sexual harassment angle? Because it turns out whether you're conservative or liberal, you get shut down with the sexual harassment angle. Because it turns out whether you're conservative or liberal, you get shut down with the sexual harassment angle.

You know, my first thought was like, every angle possible. Caliente. Exactly, right? You know, yeah. Sometimes you got to work the angles, you know? It's a church today.

John, what do you think about O'Reilly being fired? You know, I think it's the beginning of them going down and picking different targets that speak out that they want to try and silence. He's probably the strongest voice, conservative voice in the world. Yes. And yet they were able to wipe him out. No, no, no, no, no, no. No one is able to wipe him out.

He wiped something on someone else and thus wiped himself out. Right. The problem is when you wipe yourself out in front of someone that doesn't want to watch that shit. Right. If everybody's willing to play, wipe whatever you want, wherever you are. I mean, there's a fine. There's an exchange. But when there's no exchange, sometimes

you hit a wall. Well, you know, and if you power through it, you know, you get in some trouble now and again. Just saying. A little work ahead of time. Consent goes a long fucking way, it turns out. I have a joke for you. It's kind of a long-winded joke. Somebody told me this.

So there's this attorney who's telling a story. This is a real story, by the way. Attorney's telling a story about the worst case that they've ever handled, the weirdest case they ever handled. And it happens to be a case where they were defending somebody

who was charged with fucking a horse. And he's talking about this case and he sort of pauses and he said, well, even in this case, I guess, nay means nay. I love it. I love it. I love it.

What do you think about this today? I think it's a scary place to be when you have groups of people that are going after news commentators. What? Do none of these people understand that you can't just walk by and get a handful of ass on the way to the water cooler? That's what that's what going after somebody means is like if I behave badly and then I get caught. Yeah. Then the person who caught me came after me. Right.

Yeah. It's like it'd be like saying like, well, you know, what's it come to? And he can't just murder somebody. The police just going after all the murderers now. It ridiculous you can't even kill a poor person i could get it's like you can't even beat a hobo with a tire iron you can't kill them you can't fuck them in the mouth without their consent what this what is the world coming i thought this was america damn it where's my freedom there's just somebody behind you lighting the flag on fire as you stand at your stare at your limp cock and an open mouth hobo next to you what am i supposed to do

you know it's it's unbelievable to me and um you go to one of the great colleges of the world i do and i know your school mondo you just spoke at that college. This morning I had the privilege to speak. What college? This college that they're flying the drone over. Say the college. Oh, it's Liberty University. You go to supergoodcollege.org or whatever. It's either Liberty University or College of the Ozarks,

but that looks pretty big for College of the Ozarks. Wait, isn't she from College of the Ozarks? Yeah, that's the same girl from College of the Ozarks. You go to one of the best schools in the country? Did he say that? Oh, I in the country? Did he say that? Oh, I don't know. Did he say that? I think he did.

And I think he's referring to College of the fucking dirty hill people. You go to one of the great colleges of the world. I do. She goes to the Ozarks School of Hill People. Oh, my gosh. College of the Ozarks is one of the greatest schools in the world? What are you? Have all the other been bombed?

To be honest, Oxford really doesn't have a lot on it. Oh, my God. All those people in England are applying to college. Ozarks? College of the Ozarks? There's all those people in France who are like, I could go to the Saban, but College of the Ozarks for me!

Darling, where should we send Jim? He's been accepted to Harvard and Yale. Oh, look, College of the Ozarks has accepted him. Right, right. Good thing Yale was his safety school. I got married in the Ozarks, which just tells you everything fails that comes out of the Ozarks.

Ozarks, which just tells you everything fails that comes out of the Ozarks. I know your school. Mondo, you just spoke at that college. This morning, I had the privilege to speak. Anybody can speak there. They'll take all comers. They'll take them all. It's like a casting call for a gang.

The college of the ozarks is the glory hole of colleges oh you're married just wear this fucking rustling mask fucking lucha libre speak at their chapel You met with the president With the president of the school He watches our show He's thankful that we're standing for what we believe in

And that's what the school stands for They teach My god I want to weep almost Because freedom of speech Has left America What it has Nobody's stopping you right now. When freedom of speech has left America,

we can't say anything we want. Think about the shit we have said on this show. What else is there left for me to say? What is it we can't say? There's nothing left at this point. We've lowered the bar and crawled underneath that. We've eaten it all the way to the asshole. And culture. lowered the bar and crawled underneath that. We've eaten it all the way to the asshole. To Ann Coulter. She got shut down by protesters that they don't want any conservatives coming

to speak. And this is a school that promoted free speech. It's nonsense. They plan to shut up every conservative and Christian voice in America. Stay tuned today because we're going to prove to you what's going on. And it's dangerous. It's as dangerous as an atomic bomb going off in America. So that means buy food. It's as dangerous as an atomic bomb. An atomic bomb means you need 10 000 servings of buckets right isn't isn't that amazing how much this guy relies upon fear i remember when trump got elected and you and i sat we watched we watched this guy you know thump his chest with joy and i remember

saying to you like how is he gonna spin this yeah because though when everybody thought hillary was gonna win his whole pitch was oh oh, my God, Hillary wins. Get your buckets. It's going to be World War III. Enjoy living under nuclear annihilation. Now his guy won. Sure. His guy won.

So now he has to find new apocalypse. Yeah. Right? His old apocalypse is gone. He's got to find new ones. He's got to find new ways to scare people into buying his goods. Right. And the new ways he's finding is he's going to just basically say that that no matter what happens out there, as as mild as it is, it's as bad as the worst thing that can happen to it.

That's demonic, everybody. It is absolutely demonic. So this is right wing watch. This is Rick Wiles. Trump is being blackmailed to do the bidding of the satanic dark state. We're going to play this. This is Rick Wiles from his radio program, The End Times Radio. You've got to figure at a certain point.

Don't you have to deliver on that? The End Times? The End Times Radio. You'd be like, you know what? It's been End Times Radio for 15 years, buddy. No, you don't. Okay. Because wasn't Jesus supposed to come back while his followers were still alive?

Still alive, though. Yeah, I guess. But I think he meant like OG followers. First generation followers. Dark State's been around since the days of Lucifer. There is no separation between Lucifer and the Dark State. The Dark State is... Yeah, because I made them both up. Yeah. Right? I mean, if you make things up,

you can just classify them and put them in their own little genus together. That's how making things up works. Vampires and werewolves are the same thing. Leprechauns and gnomes share a common ancestor. They do. Fairies. Yeah. So there you go. I bet you didn't know that because it's a thing I said.

Also, you're not allowed to call them fairies anymore. Well, they can call themselves fairies. Why can't I use that word? It's his political arm. It's Luciferian. It's demonic. Why would Lucifer need to engage in politicking? Politicking.

The least fucking sure way of accomplishing something. And Lucifer's just like, I hope this works. I don't know. I had to wait for democracy to be invented in order for me to do this. My public approval rating sucks. Nobody approves of my kill all the people bill.

That is the dark state, the deep state, the Illuminati, whatever you want to call it. Synagogue of Satan. That's what I call it. I actually, I call it the Illuminati when I say,

Hey honey, you want to do some Illuminati? It's code word for butt stuff. So dark state works too. Dark state works too. I'm going to, I'm going to put this, I'm going to put, you word for butt stuff. So dark state works too. Dark state works too. I'm going to put this. You're going to enter a real dark state. Put this in the dark state. You're going to be in a dark state.

Just lay back and try to enjoy it. It's happening anyway. Maybe we won't Illuminati it. There's a reason it's going in your third eye satan's political financial social military arm in the world it's his government yeah it this is his world he's doing a terrible job of doing anything that bad with it. Satan himself.

Satan himself. Satan himself. The evilest thing of all evil things. It's just like, I don't know, let's bitch about healthcare for a while. Yeah. That's it? Like, that's all you got? This is the whole thing?

I'll plant the idea that vaccines cause autism. Like, everything you do takes so long. Generations grow up and die in an increasingly safe world. He was knocking out of the park in World War II, though, wasn't he? I was like, that was the height. Yeah. That's right. He's the prince of the power of the air, this world.

We're passing through. He owns this world. He doesn't own the earth. We're like corn nuggets. world we're passing through he owns this world he doesn't own the earth we're like corn nuggets passing through you count how many you had the day before earth the planet belongs to god but the world belongs to satan it doesn't make any sense at all genuinely don't understand that it doesn't make any sense at all you're an asshole for saying that belongs to god so what like under the crust the world the the chewy center is god right but the candy coating is satan's what is this like an ever laughing everlasting gobstopper of stupidity is

that the only way to understand there's like oh that's a different flavor of ignorance. How many licks does it take to get to the center of his conspiracy theory? That's why fewer Satan could offer to Jesus when he tempted Jesus and he said, hey, you know, I'll have all the nations bow

down to you. Well, he wasn't just blowing smoke. How do you know? How do you know? How do you know? How do you know? How do you know? He's a liar. Isn't your whole thing that he's a liar?

Yeah. Your whole thing is that he's a liar. And you're like, no, I know specifically that he meant it. I know the other lies are lies, but this one's the truth. He had the power to do it. Those were his nations. He does it with leaders now. He still doing it.

Still doing it. If you're the world, why do we act shocked that the world serves Satan? The world belongs to Satan, right? You know, that's a radical thought, Rick.

I never even thought about it like that. Satan offered Jesus a kingship over the dark state. Yeah, he tried to cut a deal with him. And how did Jesus overcome? The word. That's right. It is written. How do we overcome the dark state now?

The word. Amen. We need to be speaking the word of God over the dark state. We need to be praying that... You made up an adversary and now you have the way to fight

that adversary. Like you made it up and then you made up a way to stop them. Well, first what you have to do is you have to take the sword and hold it over your head and then you yell, by the power of Grayskull! And then your cat gets real big. Right. Yeah.

And then you fight the skeleton man. And then you win the universe mastery. What a weird little piece of thing that he wore. It was like a... I don't even know. It was like a titty shower thing he used to wear? He did wear it. He wore like a bra, like the least supportive bra. He used to wear. He did. He did wear like he wore like a bra

like the least supportive bra. He just wore all the structural elements. He wore the underwire for a bra. He did. He wore the structural elements without the cuppy cups. Exactly. I guess like when you're pecking it out like that you don't really need the support. He's pretty firm. He was. Pretty firm. He could

bounce around, jump around. He didn't need a bro. No worries. He'd be alright. Unlike me. I mean I know I a bro. No worries. Yeah, he'd be all right. Yeah. Unlike me. I mean, I know I need that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wear like, what I do is I get three sets of Spanx. Oh, nice.

And I just tube myself in Spanx. Nice. That's great stuff. I know, it really works. Then you look like a lumpy sausage. Yeah, I was just going to say, you look like a sausage. You look like a Johnsonville brat. Where they join together just presses you into us.

like a Johnsonville brat. Where they join together just presses you into us. That Donald Trump will be delivered from whatever bondage they have him in. Look, I believe, I honestly believe

the man meant, well, I honestly do. I don't believe he deceived the people. But I believe he is deeply flawed because of his sinful nature that they had so much dirt on him

over 20 years. Because he did bad things. Yeah. Well, this is crazy. This is crazy what they're saying right now. You hear what they're saying? Like, I don't think he's a bad guy. It's just that he's a bad guy.

It's just that he did a lot of bad stuff and people found out. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's what makes you a bad person. Like doing, like, I feel like, have I lost my fucking mind? I think you're missing one major portion of that. Please help. Yeah, well, it's the forgiveness thing. You can do all the worst shit in the world and all you gotta do is be like super sorry bro and then you're totes that's it yeah and then you're just like yeah you gotta raise your voice

up an octave look up to the sky and be like sorry everything's great yeah not it you just look at your bad behavior not it i didn't totally it wasn't i didn't mean to do that i'll pull this i'll count the sin when i pull it out of a hat, and it's not a practice. It's not a practice. Years, 20, 30 years. The dark state had been spying on him for a long, long time. Well, he shouldn't have been doing bad shit. If the dark state, quote unquote, was spying on him.

You know what happens when you do bad shit? Sometimes that shit comes to light without anybody spying on you. You know, here's what, I was having this conversation the other day. It's that idea that everybody has done enough bad shit in their life that if it all came to light, the skeletons in your closet, all that. I'd be fine. I'd be fine. You could dig up the

worst shit I've ever done and be like, yeah, I don't care. Put it on the fucking big screen. Put the worst shit I've ever done in my life on the big screen and I'd be like was that that's that all you got that's it i've said multiple times like you could look at all my text messages like you could read my you could take my phone away from me and you could look through my entire phone which is most people's diary right it's most people's stuff that they're like oh it's your it's the most intimate yeah right you could look through that go ahead i don't i don't i I don't, I don't say, I don't say anything in that,

that I wouldn't say in real life. Right. I don't keep secrets. It's real. It's just not most people I feel are this way. I mean, there are, there are certainly some people who have, you know, the big deep darks, right? Sure. Sure. Right. Sure. I feel like most of us lead relatively banal mundane lives, you know, where it's like in the worst thing you've ever done doesn't even register on the fucking moral radar. But you look at somebody like Trump and they're like, well, you know, they sort of make it sound they sort of make it sound with him like, you know, he's he's under this microscope, this unfair microscope. And his actions are being called into question in a way that is unfair or whatever. And it's like, well, no, I, you know, he put himself in this place. Sure. Like, it's not like we randomly, we didn't go spin around in a circle with our arm out and

then wherever it stopped, whoever we were pointing at was the one who ran for president, right? You have to make a fucking decision. Yeah. I want to do this thing. And I am the guy. I am the guy. Out of 320 million people, I am the guy. And so, yeah, every moment of your life is going to be subject to scrutiny. And then I feel like even more so when you know that, and you know that every moment of your life is subject to scrutiny, if every moment, Cecil, of your life were subject to scrutiny, there's nothing for me to find. I know that. If every moment of my life were subject to scrutiny, I feel comfortable. Yeah. Right. And be like, you did this thing about, yeah, it was between me and that person. And that's it. Yeah. Like there may be some interpersonal decisions, but you know, like

we're not breaking laws. You know, I'm not like colluding with Russia. Sure. You know, I'm not, it's, it's fucking crazy. Yeah. It's funny because they make it seem like almost like somebody put something in his way because he's talking about he's talking about clearly about a dark entity. Right. He's talking about something that is a that is a evil entity that is that's trying to trip Trump up. Yeah. You know. And so what you have is, you know, it's even though he was bad it's not his fault right even though is you know and that's and that's again you know not only do they have the get out of jail free card with the i can just say i'm sorry and it's fine yeah right but they also have the well it's

not my fault because fucking the big bad devil was the one who put it in front of me and that's you know he was the one who was tempting me and it's like jesus you got you all like a fucking 60 things that can get you out of trouble. All I have is me. All I have is me where I'm just like, yeah, I just got to live my life like a good person. Yeah, right. Because I think that's the right thing to do. And if I make a mistake, I got to own it.

It's all on my shoulders. Every moment, everything I do, every action that I take, everything, it's all on my shoulders. I can't get mad and run a guy over. Can't get mad and get into a fist fight and kill somebody. Because I know that that's going to fall on my shoulders. I'm't get mad and run a guy over. You know, can't get mad and get into a fist fight and kill somebody, you know, because I know that that's going to fall on my shoulders.

I'm going to feel bad about it. I don't want to do that to myself. I don't want to hurt anybody else. But instead, it's just like, oh, these people are like, oh, yeah, well, you know,

he hurt thousands of people. You know, what I think this worldview doesn't take into account is like the secular worldview carries a greater moral weight. Like there is a much heavier moral burden on a secular person, right? Because like you were just describing all of my actions, I get to own forever, right? There's no expiration date

to it because every, you know, if you're, if you're religious, there's an expiration date to the morality of your action. That expiration date's the day you were forgiven for it, right? So I only have to eat shit until that moment that I was forgiven. And the moment I was forgiven, I'm released from my guilt around my bad actions, right? But as a secular person, you get to eat that shit forever, right? You get to just eat that shit until it resolves or you've made amends. But it's always, like you say, it always lives on your shoulders. You can't ever offload the burden of your own ethical choices and say, these are yours to carry now because there's no mythical fucking burden carrying giant or whatever

these fucking nonsense believes, right? It's all garbage. It's all madness, right? So the responsibility to act well is so much greater on the secular person. It's all madness, right? So the responsibility to act well is so much greater on the secular person. It's so much greater. To even act ambivalently is a greater emotional burden. And maybe that's borne out in the numbers. Maybe what's interesting about that is that there's fewer secular people that are in jail, fewer secular people that are, you know, that wind up in prison. Right. And the reason why is because it means more.

It just means more to you as a secular person to not do those things, to not break the law, to not hurt other people. Well, shouldn't our religious ideas stand up even under a scientific approach? I mean, either a thing is true or it isn't. Certainly, but listen, Joe. There are some things we just have to accept on faith. This story is from Right Wing Watch as well.

Dutch sheets. Which doesn't sound like a thing. Isn't that when you fart under the covers? Is that what that is? And you hold them over the other person's head. It's a nicer version because it's just a sheet. It's just a sheet, so some of it will permeate. You got to do that thing where you lift them.

So like, oh shit, they're coming back. I just farted. You're trying to like fad it away. They walk in and they're like, is there a dead cat in here? Dutch sheets. Evil spirits are manifesting because Christians are experiencing a breakthrough under Trump. I just love how many different explanations, by the way. Oh, yeah. Like Trump is evil. Trump's being influenced. If you protest Trump, you're bad.

It's just amazing. Like they have no idea. They're so inconsistent about what to do with him. It's like everybody has their own feng shui manual. Yeah, right. Yeah. Like put the lamp over here over here or the lamp over there will make your head fall off and will make your head fall right off. Right off. Hey, I want to take a couple of minutes and just tell you what God has been speaking to me about some of the events taking place

in America and around the world. Was it teaching you to use some fucking sunscreen? Fucking Renny McRed? Holy shit! Holy shit! Fucking SPF 1 would help this guy like anything he'll take anything that's just from the lights in the studio that did that god damn not even sunlight they don't let him out like this he just turned into a cinder if he went he looks like he's been acid attached shut oh my god i heard the lord very clearly speak to me several weeks ago and said, be ready. Demons, principalities,

powers, just the spiritual realm. Did he stutter too? Was he inconsistent with what he had to say? God said these things to me. Now, I don't remember word for word what actual God said. So allow me to paraphrase this in a jumble fuck way because it's not important that I get it right. When he was saying it, the problem is

is that when he was saying it, there was a jug band playing behind him. I kind of only got part of it. He speaks exclusively through a mouth harp. Yeah. Like, so it's... This is about to start manifesting. What about maniforting?

Huh? And now I'm watching that happen. Much of the... You are. You're the only one. You're just... That's schizophrenia. Like, you need lithium.

You'll be okay. If you just get back on your meds. Anger in government institutions, the protests that are happening. Anger in government institutions is what Trump got elected based on. Right. That I can't, like fucking, Baker was saying the same shit like fucking last week. Everybody seems angry at the government that's literally the campaign yeah that trump exactly exactly was angry establishment

right and now there's other people that are like and they're just like well anger at the establishment is a bad thing yep well it fucking got your gut your gut 12 months leading up to it it was a fucking stellar thing the moment he moment he became establishment, it's anathema. Happening and the violence on our streets and even some of the leaders around the world, like in North Korea, Syria,

some of these conflicts that have escalated. France. You saw that that fucking Le Pen got fucking curbstones, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. So on. that fucking Le Pen got fucking curbstones, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. So on.

Yeah, Le Pen got fucking bricked. Like, that'd be like, went for a shot and just get that shit on him. Not in my house, motherfucker. Like, that is, and I mean, just fucking wrecked, too. Just wrecked. A lot of this is the manifestation of evil spirits they are upset and they are angry they are angry because they know we have moved into a season we the church well in the earth but we as believers have moved into a season where we can experience great

breakthrough in fact great breakthrough like stem cell research. Oh, no, no, definitely not that. Yeah. More like a great like maybe some sort of NASA discovery, Tom. I'm going to guess no. How about something like with the EPA? Yeah, I'm going to guess also

no. You know, great breakthroughs under the Trump administration would be... I don't know, shoot some missiles at someone. Probably not in the arts and entertainment field. Yeah, right? It's like, I don't know. There's no pipe pieces. Right?

Just shaking it. Actually, pause and think about Trump playing true. Like, there's people in places. I feel like he wouldn't do terribly well on that. He's confused. He was confused about where he bombed. Sure. Do you remember that?

Where he's like, yeah, I threw some missiles at Iraq. I'm like, don't you mean Syria? Yeah. Syria, Iraq. They're all Brown. I feel like people in places, not his thing. Arts and entertainment. He defunded.

So that's going to go and pass. History. No. Science and nature. No. Sports and leisure. Golfing. Yeah.

He would do very well. I think he would know who Arnold Palmer is. Right? And leisure, he takes a lot of time off. So, there you go. And here we go, Cecil. The new category, wild card, of which he is one. So, he wins that one too.

He would win. He's got two guaranteed buy pieces. Some of the breakthroughs that we have been crying out for and interceding for for years, maybe decades. We are in a season where we can experience the fullness of that breakthrough. For example, the Supreme Court. Evil spirits are upset. What the fuck breakthrough can you experience with the Supreme Court? The breakthrough called more conservatives are on it. OK, I'm I'm actually serious. I think that's it. I think he's...

I can't even imagine what else he's on. But it's not more conservatives. It's the same number of conservatives as before. Currently, but I think he's hoping someone will die. Oh, I see. That the good spirits will kill Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She's going to run out of pie pieces. Ready to stick it in the glory hole?

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Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story's from Right Wing Watch. Joel Richardson, he's on the

Jim Baker Show. You can incidentally get a Tasty Pantry Deluxe. Time of trouble, 10,472 servings. Joel Richardson. He's on the Jim Baker show. You can incidentally get a tasty pantry deluxe. Time of trouble. 10,472 servings. Buckets. 10,000 servings? 10,000 servings? Where do you put that? Where do you put

in your home 10,000 servings of food? Other than you. Like, do you order 10,000 servings? You order 10,000. Think about how much food

that is. They go to deliver that shit. Boop, boop, boop. Yeah, you genuinely need like a trucking company to deliver that shit. Boop, boop, boop. Yeah, you genuinely need like a trucking company to deliver it. Like it's fucking North American van lines. It's not the UPS guy. He'll fill his fucking back up trying to lift that shit.

Hey, kids. Hold on a second. 10,470 servings of food. Oh my God. So that lasts you through how much of the apocalypse? Hang on. Divided by three, right? Yeah, three kids.

Three humans. But I would have eaten my kids by now. That's a good point. We are atheists. I got two kids, so I've got 10,472. I'm going to change. I've got two kids. 10,472 plus two.

It is one meal. One of them is really little. There's not a lot of meat on that kid's bones. I know. I'd pick them clean in about a half hour. Divided by three. Divided by three. Divided by 365. That's nine and a half years.

Who wants to live in the, is that one person nine and a half years? Yeah. Yeah. It's one person, nine and a half years worth of food. Yeah.

Every day eating despair. You're having your despair rations. I don't want to live nine and a half years worth of food. Yeah. Every day eating despair. You're having your despair rations. I don't want to live nine and a half weeks. Dude, if there is an apocalypse, like if there is a fucking tragedy so deep that I need 10,000 servings of food, it's not like,

I'm not going to get to like my 9,999th serving and be like, things are looking up. Yeah. Everything's fine now. Right? The nuclear cloud has passed over. We're good.

I don't want to live through that at all. Who wants to live through that? Because after that, you've got to eat Bob's tumor. Who wants to do that? God. Alright, so people who protest Trump are really protesting God according to Joel Richardson. A tax day.

They had marches all over America demanding the president's taxes. They wanted to see his income tax reform. What's going on in America where all these people gather all at the same time, but how can they all gather together? How can they all... Facebook? What do you mean how can they all gather together? Facebook? Reddit? Watch it. Motherfucker

hears how it is. Hey, Cecil. What you doing Sunday? You want to get together? Yeah, sure. Boom. That's two. It's like that plus more. It's like that. Yeah. Plus more. It's real easy.

I mean, seriously, this is a guy who's so out of touch. He doesn't realize that you could you could just use Facebook. And what he's trying to imply, though, is that there's some nefarious force out there. It's either the devil. And I haven't listened to this, but it's either going to be the devil or it's going. Well, I guess that's the same thing. Devil is George Soros. So it's but, it's either going to be the devil or it's going to, well, I guess that's the same thing. Devil is George Soros. So it's,

it's, but those are the two options, right? It's, it's some evil dark force. Right. That's controlling human beings outside of our, outside of,

you know, the realm of, you know, the real, right. Or it's, it's somehow somebody very ultra powerful. It's conspiracy.

Even know where that comes from. That's such a random person. That's like saying, just shouting out Kim base. But, but if you take like it, what, what,

what he's saying is that there's somehow that this person is controlling things, puppet string style. And it's, and that's the somehow that this person is controlling things puppet string style. Right. And that's the most asinine thing in the world. All you have to do is just fucking post something on Facebook and be like, hey, I want to fucking. That's what happened in the Chicago march, right? Somebody posted something on Facebook, started inviting friends, and those friends invited other friends, blah, blah, blah.

And it came out to be like, what, 5,000 people showed up, 4,000 people showed up. Because that's how networks are formed. Because that's how it works. Because that's how social networks work. This is well-known and not terribly difficult. Every city, they're marching. They're all doing this. Who's setting this up?

They are. They are setting it up. People who are interested in doing this. They're just setting it up. It's not like they're getting your fucking prime directive from a satellite. The Borg. Are you kidding? And yet the reporters all believe it.

They're feeding us a lie. America's unrestful. They're waiting. They just can't wait to get the president's tax return. And they're revolting because of it. To answer your question very briefly i'd say this is we lay out as we do when we brief and teach and train law enforcement or leaders the jihadi movement the terrorist movement in the united states did he just jump to jihadi movement what what terrorists i think a jihadi movement is when you had falafel and it doesn't agree with you.

I'm having a jihadi movement any minute now. Mike Colen just had a suicide bombing. My belly sounds like typo negative singing in there. That's the brown note singing. My duodenum feels like a nail bomb went off. note singing. My duodenum feels like a nail bomb went off. Is working directly

in conjunction with the hard left Marxist movement. So whether we're talking about any of the Soros funded groups, including Black Lives Matter. You're right. There we go. There we go, motherfucker! George Soros! I genuinely

don't understand. What is, I don't, I genuinely, I genuinely don't understand. Boogeyman shit, dude. What the fuck could possibly get someone to protest? How could George Soros do this? I want, hold on a second. He goes, this is little known and this is true. George Soros actually goes door to door personally and asks, I'm really rich. He just hands you blank checks.

Will you please protest? And people are like protest what no I'm not politically engaged and he's like well I'll just give you money like how much money will it take I'm George Soros and that's how he does it he goes to 5,000 doors and he bribes 5,000 people across fucking a dozen cities

let me tell you man wouldn't it be great to get paid to walk around and do that shit though I would become a protester. Yeah. Right? I'll protest anything. You get to get some sun.

You get to hang out. You get to sing songs and chant. I get mad for free. It's like camp. Right? Make fucking wallets and shit. At the ground level, at the state level, at the national level, and at the international level, they are working together. And there are a lot of common threads that time together. And to kind of punctuate that, I'll just say this. During the 1980s, 100% of the anti-nuclear

protests in Europe and the United States were funded by the Soviet Union. What the fucking what? 100%. 100%. No. I'm just going to respond to that by just saying. No, that's a stupid thing to say. It's a genuinely stupid thing to say. I met I met a guy who did. I met a guy through a workshop once who went out and protested a military base. He did a story about it in this workshop I was in.

Oh, cool. Protested a military base a nuclear facility and he was you know in one of those giant they did an encirclement of the whole hands yeah sort of holding hands around this base this giant they had that many people out there to protest this nuclear base i think it was in new mexico or something and he had pictures of this you know this giant like line of human beings that work their way all around the thing. It's like there's just a dude like that. It's just a guy like 100 percent.

You're already wrong. Like I met a guy who's fucking did it just because he fucking didn't like. No, no, that's not true. Russia, Russia. Yeah. Russia, Putin. Right. Russia, Russia.

Yeah. A thousand or five thousand or ten thousand people don't randomly just pop up with preprinted signs and a complete logistical plan. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. They do. And they and you're right. They don't just pop up with a logistical plan. They make a plan. Right. So what you do is you say ahead of time, my wife wanted to do the tax march. She knew the day Trump got inaugurated that there was going to be a tax march in Chicago. It was already on Facebook. She already said she was going to go. She already asked me if I was going to go. I had said if I was free, I was going to go do it with her. So we had already figured out that the tax march was going to be a thing four months in advance. That's enough time to go to Kinko's. Like, that's enough time to print up a real sign. I saw tons of professionally

printed signs. There was a guy who printed out a bunch of signs on his own and was just handing them out to people. Sure. Because who cares? Because if you got a hundred bucks and this is something you're passionate about, go make a bunch of fucking signs and hand them out to people. Exactly. It's fucking not George Soros giving the money. It's just random

people going to the thing and you make it sound like it's just like fucking instantly they figured out that they were going to go protest. This is fucking months of planning, man. They also make it sound like this is some incredibly difficult thing. Yeah. You show up, you say words out loud,

then you go home. That's the whole thing. It's not like the protesters show up and then they build an aircraft carrier from scratch. And then they go. No, they show up and it was like, we're all mad generally about the same thing. That's it. That's it. That's it.

And you march. And on occasion like this one, they got they actually blocked off a couple of streets. Sure. So they had gotten permits ahead of time, which you can't get the day of. Right. And we didn't block streets that they didn't have permits. The fucking police were there waving people to go a certain direction. So they clearly had fucking permits to block the

traffic that day. Right. So it's not an instantaneous thing. It's months and months of planning when you do this. Right. And the thing is like when these things happen, like natural leaders emerge, people who have the time and the skill set and the personality proclivities that tend

them toward that direction. You have the people that are leading and then you have the marchers, you have the Cecils, and you have the Toms. Right. And that's how it works. True. Very true. Out of nowhere, you're correct about that. This is all, when you see these things, whether it's in Ferguson or Baltimore or New York or wherever, they are planned and they are funded by enemies of the United States.

Joel, have you studied any of that yourself? Wow. You know, when I look at these sort of things, I look at the rage. There's a spirit of rage that has just swept the nation. I look at the riots in Berkeley. They're burning things. has just swept the nation. I look at the riots in Berkeley, they're burning things and Ferguson and this sort of thing is, I go, okay, what's behind this? What's the spiritual issue? Because now look, Black Lives Matters, there's a very sacred issue there that much of the black community feels,

and that's legitimate. But then Satan comes along and he subverts it and he gets these folks that they preempt it. What I think is happening is sort of a prelude. When I see all of this rage, I see Psalm 2. Why do the Gentiles gather? Why do they conspire? Why do they plot a vain thing? And it's not against Donald Trump. Now on the outside, in the natural, it's we hate Donald Trump. We're furious about this. We're furious about that. They don't even know what people are mad about they don't even know they genuinely don't even know why people are upset they're not they they don't know that we're upset because you you haven't seen donald's tax returns from any relevant year or any near i mean we're talking the one that they showed was 12 years old right the one that they the leaked quote-unquote leaked one was 12 years old right the the people out there that are marching are upset about how he has conducted himself in office about the leaks to, you know, to Russia, the things that have happened with Russia, the way the collusion seems to be like placing itself.

The way the way in which he's clearly acting like a guilty person by firing Comey. All these other things. There's a dozen other things. Literally every single person he's picked for any appointment at all. Exactly. The EPA. The way in which he's put people in charge of things that have been awful and not. Vaccine skeptics and contraception skeptics being placed into positions of power and authority.

And CEOs and billionaires. His total inability to seem to understand foreign affairs at all. Absolutely. I mean, total inability. His lies, his constant just outright lies about the nature of reality itself. And they don't understand any of the reasons why people are upset. When you look at the Republican Party, especially now, it feels like party over country. You know, it feels like the Republican Party.

You listen to what they had to say. Mitch McConnell wasn't going to make us a special prosecutor into this into the Russian ranks. You know, you look at how they're sort of turtling up like Mitch McConnell. It does look like a turtle. And Mitch, you take they're sort of turtling up like Mitch McConnell. It does look like a turtle. And Mitch, you take they're sort of all turtle. They're all they're all on the defensive now and they're all sort of huddling together. Yeah. And there's not any there's very few if there are any Republican voices out there.

I know there's a few, but there are very few and far between. Right. Republican voices out there saying this is fucking crazy. We need some other things happening here. This can't, we can't go on like this. We have to make sure that, you know,

that there are no connections between Russia and the United States. You wonder how much of that, I mean, I don't know this, right? So like, I recognize that this is just me speculating, but you know,

Trump has shown a clear willingness to go after people, right? To damage people, to fire people, to try to ruin people, you know, to threaten the livelihood of people. I mean, he's gone after people that have criticized him on Twitter. You wonder how much of this is just people like, fuck, if I say shit, it's my career. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either, but I have to think that there's some of that.

I have to think because he's so crazy. There's got to be a domino point, though, where something happens that they have to separate themselves from him. There's got to be a domino falling point where that hits one or two guys and those two guys say no more and they fall. And then two more, four more guys say no more. And then, because there's no girls in the Republican party, so it's all guys falling. Well, not anyone will listen to. But the scriptures say they gather and they plot ultimately against the Lord and against his anointed. Donald Trump is his anointed.

Now, I know that he's oily. I get that. He is slick. He is slick. You feel like if you were to try to hang a spoon on him, it just wouldn't work. You know what I mean? It just wouldn't work. Most people can sort of put a spoon on their cheek and it'll sort of hang there.

Don't you think he would feel like jelly to the touch? I think he would. Like a bag of shitty jelly. He'd be gooey. You know what I mean? Right? Like you would push in and it'd feel like the Pillsbury Doughboy when you press in. This woman stood up.

You could see she'd been in a car accident. She had that concave, you know, look to her cheek. And I said, reach up and feel it. And she did. And as she rubbed her hand over her cheek, when she moved it away, you could see God had grown the bone right under her hand. Praise the Lord. This story is also from Right Wing Watch, and I love it. This is Cindy Jacobs. Cindy Jacobs, for those of you not in the know, Cindy Jacobs has this. She's going to talk about her air conditioning prowess

as a prophet. She has also some other huge accomplishments under her belt. She once made a lot of spaghetti. She did. She bought some shoes that lasted an unusually long time. Tires that lasted a while on her car. They drove and drove and drove as far as I can recall.

And then she would just keep stirring the spaghetti and saying the Lord's prayer. And yeah. And so she made a lot of noodles. A lot of noodles. Yeah. The noodles that weren't actually in the pot. She made noodles appear. Yeah.

Well, she said she said she made noodles and she had teenage boys. That's right. And then she kept scooping out them noodles and she had teenage boys. That's right. And then she kept scooping out them noodles and there was just more noodles in there. It's like making rice though, right? Like, you have like a cup of rice and this doesn't look like a lot of food and then it soaks up the water

and you're like, well, that's a lot of fucking rice. Pasta is the fucking exact same thing. I also think that she was able to fill bottles of oil, but only about a cup at a time, as I recall. Yeah, that's true. She did. She had the thing and she'd blurp, blurp, blurp the oil and then it would be like, boop.

And God would fill it up. Yeah. But only about a cup at a time. Yeah. God doesn't, he doesn't deal with anything. I don't like the metric system either. I'll tell you that. I can't fill it up a liter at a time. I don't even the metric system either. I'll tell you that. I can't fill it up a liter at a time.

I don't even know what that means. OPEC would have no interest in God. Sorry, I can only do a cup at a time. We need barrels. Thousands of barrels. Can't fill those barrels up. They'll take me all day. I got my coon dog to wash at three.

I can't. All right, so this is Cindy. One time I was with Lou Engle and we were at the call Nashville. 72,000 people in the crowd. It was hot, hot, hot.

And so people were, about 100 people or so, I can't remember, a lot of people had followed over from heat prostration. She sounds like your best friend's drunk mom. Like she just like she's she just had her box on. She's like, hello, Billy. You I like those shorts, Billy.

You look good in those shorts. Why don't you come over and give Aunt Jean a kiss? Dude, I totally made out with your mom. So this guy, Lou Engle, my buddy, comes to me. Lou comes. Lou comes? Wait a minute. Hold on now. You are friends.

And he says, you know, mom or whatever. Sometimes he calls me mom. Lou Engle sometimes calls, mom or whatever. Sometimes he calls me mom. What? Lou Angle sometimes calls her mom? Hey. Oh. Slap her on the ass and call her mom. There's a little cosplay going on there. Weird. A little bit of call me mommy. He

calls me mom and I call him daddy. It's our thing. He just ties ropes around my tits so there's two little light bulb things. That's the purple merple. They don't let you do that anymore. But, you know, they're going to close down this

event. Because people keep dying at it. Exactly. You went out in the middle of the shittiest part of the country to talk to the shittiest people in the shittiest weather. You deserve everything you get. It's like, oh, at our Eskimo conference,

people were gold. At fucking Burning Man, they have misters. Figure it out. What the fuck? Because it's so hot. Do something. And at first, my brain kind of went, do something about this stadium but then all of a sudden i thought wait a minute i'm a prophet no you're not no you're just a fucking weird old

lady in that spaghetti you're just a spaghetti lady you're not anything you're nobody you're nothing you don't have magic powers. I have authority in the name of Jesus. God called this meeting. So I called this young guy with me named Roger. I love Roger. No one cares. No one cares who these people are.

Roger's got a fucking rock hard cock. The size of a baby arm. I love Roger. Some of you might not think Roger's safe because he is tatted like from one end to the other. You know, pierced and tatted. So I said, Roger, come over here. So we went to the side of the stage

and I said, Roger. Blow me. We're going to deal with this situation. Just do what I do. So I knelt down. Roger goes, yes, I'm loving this. I knelt down and Roger's like, yeah, baby. i knelt down to roger like yeah baby i'm loving it what's up hey i like your hairdo it'll hold a beer so i knelt down roger kneels down then he stood up and he's like this is confusing look

one of us is kneeling in this transaction and it's you. I ain't deep sea diving. Let me tell you something. And so all of a sudden I felt like I had the faith. Remember where the prophet looked and there was like not even a puffy cloud in the sky. But he saw rain. Are you getting this? The abundance of rain.

I hear the sound of abundance rain. It's because he didn't know how weather works. I'm an ancient dipshit. I don't see any clouds, but it's sure going to rain. You know what? This morning I woke up and it was raining and then it was nice out later. And then it was a little shitty out and then it was nice out because weather fucking changes. Like that's just how that fucking shit works. Like it's not, it's fucking just how globes are.

Is Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, forever? Has he given us the same authority through the name of Jesus? Of course he has. Is he the God of creation? Did he stop being the creator? was he the creator before he was born i understand that jesus why is it always jesus i understand like clearly everybody agrees with you why are you asking redundant questions right it's like everybody in the audience is totally on board the jesus roller coaster this is actually a new story for me i didn't know that you got magic

powers because you believed in Jesus. I thought the prophets, I thought their story about being a prophet was like you knew some future events, right? I didn't know you got to control the weather. Do you all get a different power? Awesome. I want a portal gun.

I want to be invisible. I want a portal gun. You had to think about that? No! Okay. So I got up and I had some faith. So I said, Roger, point your hands to the sky. I mean, we're just by ourselves at the side of the platform.

So we pointed our hands to the sky and say, say this, Roger. In the name of Jesus, clouds come from the north and the south and the east and the west. That's not how weather patterns work that would be an impossible wind like like how would that the wind's coming from every direction to us well we're gonna die yeah i don't know that's called a tornado i don't yeah right we looked at the sky blue sky not even a puffy clown to work with. I mean, not a nothing up there. Why is she snorkeling? She sounds so drunk. She does. She sounds drunk every time I hear it. Like,

she just finished her whole box of wine backstage. It's a box of wine and like three Oxycontins and she's ready to party. So I said, well, Roger, let's pray some more. So we got down on our knees again and we prayed and finally I had it., Roger, let's pray some more. So we got down on our knees again and we prayed and finally I had it. I don't know how to explain it. It's just a gift

of faith. So I got up and we started commanding the clouds to come to the north, south, east, and west and they covered the stadium. How? How? Just think about what she just said. Just pause and think about how fucking impossible this would be.

There are no clouds in sight to even come by. You look up in a – and if it's like that, it's a beautiful blue sky day. How many miles are you looking? And then all of a sudden clouds are just like, fuck, and they rush over. Like what manner of propulsion drove the – or did they just appear out of nowhere like fucking moisture that was not previous in the air which is like fuck let's be here and there's no video footage of this fucking insane event right this is one of those what would this look like this is this is i have a hot girlfriend in canada story right yeah right yeah

girlfriend in canada yeah right i banged her like three times. Touched her poona. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. All right, Cecil, this is another one from Right Wing Watch. This is Dave.

Coach. Doc coach. Not a coach. Dovenmeyer. Wonders if recent storms are really weather terrorism. Who doesn't wonder that, Cecil, were you not wondering that earlier? No? You're making a face at me like you don't actually wonder if it was weather terrorism.

Did he say weather terrorism? Weather terrorism. I hope he said, because sometimes right-wing watch gets a little crazy. And they put a title on there that, I just hope he says weather terrorism. That would be amazing. I guess what I'm wondering, though, is if you use the weather underground app, will it basically predict the terrorism better? I don't know. I don't use that one. I use Yahoo.

It has pretty pictures. What was that one that told you what to wear? It predicted the temperature by what to wear? Swack it. Swack it. Swack it. I love Swack it. Should I do? I need a jacket? Nope. No jacket. I love it. Swack it. Swack it. I love swack it. Should I do I need a jacket?

Nope. No jacket. I love it. Just go out. I loved it. He's like, what's the weather today? Just said, wear a raincoat. That's actually why I wanted to know.

Foil hat stuff. But we can't deny. I had a friend say to me, why would they do that? Why would they do that? Well, folks, we're talking about people who kill babies. They don't even think anything about killing babies. We're talking about unsaved people who do anything for money. They say, well, they're poisoning their own children, too.

Yeah, I suppose. I love it. Yeah, OK. That's a valid criticism of this insane theory of insanity. It's like what they do with the doctors. They're like, well, the doctors, they all know how to cure cancer, but they let their kids die of it because they just want to get rich. And then they think about it for a second. They're like, yeah, no, that's how it works.

Yeah, right. And you're like, no, no. There's literally no. I can't think of a single person out there that I've ever met in my life that's like, fat bank account or dead child. Plus, it would have to be all of them. It just needs to be like, okay, so fine. Maybe there's a handful

of lunatics and psychotics out there that'd be like, I don't know. I can sell my kids for money. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. I'll grant that. That's fair. But it would have to be like all of them. They're being told. Some of them have been told that they're doing a good thing. They're creating rain. They're diverting storms.

Hey, you guys, we all work for somebody. Tell us go out and do something. We don't always know why he wants us to go out and do it. No, I don't actually work. I don't work for anybody that goes out and tells me to do something and I don't know why I'm doing it. You would really have to not know what your job is to do that.

I am floored by that idea. Like, what do you do for a living where you're just like, I don't know why they had me do this. Really? Are you fucking that insanely obtuse? I normally edit videos. They just had me dig this giant hole and I'm not quite sure why.

Right? I know exactly why I do what I do. Like. I guess maybe if you're a spy, or like you're an assassin or something. Normally I close loans, but today they're having me bust tables. I'm not sure what the connection is, but they paid the paycheck, so I don't know.

Hand me that sponge. I gotta go. I don't know. I just woke up this morning. My boss was like, I don't know, go to Paraguay. I was like, fuck it. Okay. I don't ask questions, pay people enough money. This kind of stuff's going on. So I thought it was unique. Uh, Rich is thinking of you this morning, the big storm that came your way, came my way. My wife said she'd never seen it rain. Like it rained here. Wow. She has a very short memory. She's like that lady from Memento. It rained a lot in a place. Yeah, sometimes just

rains a lot. Write it down on your fucking forearm, you stupid bitch. She has a tattoo that says, you've never seen it rain like it rained this morning. On a weekend. And to see that it was linear and not circular. Somebody help rescue me here. No.

I don't know what's happening. What was he referring to? Was the rain linear? We're a minute into this and I didn't think he said anything yet. Was the rain linear? I think he's saying the rain was going across instead of, and he did a circular motion. And he did a circle circle motion? I haven't seen a circle circle motion

before. Reigned in circles? What the fuck are you talking about? What? Oh, I got circle rain again. No, it just falls out of the sky. It's actually nice. What you do is you just put your dishes outside so they could go into the cycle then. God, it's so weird. He's so weird.

Here's my proof that there's weather terrorism. My wife said it rained a lot once. One time? I was outside and it rained. He didn't even experience it firsthand. It's like secondhand weather terrorism. I don't know. My wife said it was stormy.

I was sleeping. I slept till noon. I was filling the ketchup bottles. My boss told me. I don't even do that. I don't even know why. I don't even know why. People use ketchup, Dave.

You work at McDonald's where there's free Wi-Fi. I don't even do that. I don't even know why. I don't even know why. People use ketchup, Dave. You work at McDonald's where there's free Wi-Fi. I don't understand. Stop drinking the syrup, Dave. You're really not good at your job. You don't even know why you do the things you do. Why do you line up like six of those and do them like shooters? That's weird. It's not even syrup.

It's fucking, what do they call that when it's not syrup? What do they call it? Log cabin? No. Mrs. Butterworth? do they call that when it's not syrup? What do they call it? Log cabin? No. Mrs. Butterworth? They have a name for it. It's like at McDonald's, they call it hot cake syrup. So it's not maple syrup.

It's hot cake syrup. And it's made with, the first ingredient is corn syrup. The second is sugar. The third is water. Then it's artificial maple flavor and then a preservative. There's no actual maple syrup. No maples were harmed in the making of this

hot cake syrup. Every tree is just wiping a branch across its forehead. Dodged that bullet. Because my tinfoil hat's about to fall off. Is it weather terrorism? I wonder how many bridges were washed out down through Missouri and through Illinois and up through parts of Texas. I wonder through the flooding how much stuff was destroyed that we can just say they can just blame it on the weather.

Well, just a bad weather storm that came. Yeah, weather storms. What else could it be? Well, look. What else could it possibly be? Cecil, what would be the advantage in wiping out Southern Illinois? Who would notice? Who would notice?

Also, all that water probably cleaned it up a little. Right. Oh, we wiped out Southern Illinois, a part of Missouri. Oh. Well, let's call them because they didn't know it happened. I've been to New Orleans twice. Pre-Katrina and post-Katrina. It was cleaner post-Katrina.

Yeah, right. Because it got a good scrubbing. It got a scrubbing. They washed it out. They power washed that whole area. Jesus Christ. They took with it a few old people. Oh, no. Because it got a good scrubbing. It got a scrubbing. They washed it out. They power washed that whole area. Jesus Christ. It took with it a few old people, but other than that. Also a few young

and infirm, whatever. No, that's true too. Yeah. You can't make an omelet though. Right. You know what I mean? Eh, you know. Without a few brown eggs cracking. And through there and hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars of damage that was done. Impossible in Southern Illinois.

Yeah, no kidding. You could take the entirety of everything south of I-80. You could take it and sell it for $11.41. That's how they bought it for less than that during the Louisiana purchase. Seven beads and a smallpox blanket. And you could have the entirety of Missouri. You could actually just stand at the Indiana border at I-80 with a big saw and just saw the whole thing off.

It drops down. Nobody would notice. Everybody would just be like, huh? Oh, okay. You guys can't go down 55. It's closed today. Is it being done through weather modification? Yes. We watched that guy with the radar

said he'd never seen anything like it just popping up, just a big line just popping up. Yeah, well, maybe that has something to do with, I don't know, global warming. Yeah, right? Even if you buy the idea, right? Even if you believe that he's describing some series of storms that were unprecedented.

That this person never seen before. Right. Okay. Well, big fucking deal. Yeah. Like the idea that a storm is so bad that nobody's seen a storm like this before doesn't present a shock, right? Like storms are by nature unpredictable events, right? Like, I mean, we do a pretty good job of predicting, but we don't know everything about how they form and how long they're going to last, where they're going to move.

That's why the tornado siren goes off sometimes and there's no tornado. And sometimes it doesn't go off at all. And we don't always know exactly what's going to happen. It's a series of guesses based on computer model predictions. That's what it is. You can scratch your head and say, ah, there's nothing to it. Or you can peek inside the curtain, see if maybe there isn't some man behind the curtain that they told us that we're not to pay any attention to. My God. Yeah, dude, it's weather terrorism. And the terrorists decided to target a farm country. Yeah, well, they're like, hey, we have control over the fucking weather. Yeah, we are that powerful. That checks out, though. Wizard of Oz, Kansas, it all checks out now. You're right. I think it all

checks out. Corn. Corn. Totto. We're all going to be murdered by terrorists, one house drop at a time. We bless the rains down in Africa. I think all of these things add up. So, like we said at the beginning of the program, we hope that you will download the new Citation Media.

You can find it at citationpod.com or on iTunes. If you like the show, give us a review. Check it out. We hope that you'll like it. We think you will. It's been a really fun program to put together. So hopefully you'll check it out. We will be back, though, on Monday with a brand new show. And we we are going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno

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