Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 360: Raining Pepe the Frogs

Episode Date: May 22, 2017

Stories covered in episode:

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Hey guys, if I'm not mistaken, the tax march got started after somebody tweeted to Patton Oswald that we ought to march on tax day to protest Trump not releasing his taxes. Patton Oswald thought that was a fantastic idea, got behind it, retweeted it. And since he's got hundreds of thousands of followers, it pretty much caught fire. Obviously, Jim Baker doesn't understand the Twitters. Hey, Tom and Cecil. This is Aaron from Louisville, Kentucky. I just got done listening to episode 359 where you said political Satan would be sad because no one would vote for his

let's kill everyone bill. But as the Republicans recently proved with their health care, that if you put a tax cut for the rich, they would indeed vote for a let's kill everyone bill. Glory hole, motherfuckers. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Let's go ahead and do it. It's 360. Recording live from Glory Hole Studios in Chicago because you misnumbered it

this is Cognitive Dissonance episode 360 it's not your fault that you're wrong I don't believe that actually it's just that I made the notes in my paltry defense before episode 359

posted. Oh, you did before it posted. You did before it posted. So when I went to look on our page to see what the last episode number was, it was 358. Good for you. Wow, you do a little check there. I fucking fact-checked that shit. It was wrong, but you still

fact-checked it. I fact-checked that shit. I get it wrong. I don't fact-checked that shit. It was wrong, but you still fact-checked it. I fact-checked that shit. I get it wrong. I don't fact-check it real hard. And then I forget the work we fucking immediately did together like three fucking days prior. It's been a busy week.

It has been. I got the best defense is no defense. I just fucking made a mistake. It's been a busy week, though. Recording live again from Cognitive Dissonance Studios or wherever we're at. We're a little tired

here. It's been a week. It's been a busy week. We launched a podcast. We did. So, fuck it. Intro, intro, intro. Citation needed, man. Citation needed. It's out. Here we go. It's out. It's ready to be downloaded the first five episodes hit they are

available on all of yours at this point every pod catcher except Stitcher we're hoping Stitcher approves tomorrow sometime they still haven't approved it when they do we'll post it and let you know a lot of people still like Stitcher

I think there's better ways to get your proved it. When they do, we'll post it and let you know. A lot of people still like Stitcher. I think there's better ways to get your stuff. Your podcasts. That, you know, when we don't, they advertise over our stuff and we don't see a dime of that. But that's fine. If you want to let us know through Stitcher, go ahead. If you want to break my heart, go ahead and break

my heart. I'm not using it. Also, if you are a Stitcher fan, let Eli Bosnick know. I'm not using it. Also, if you are a Stitcher fan, let Eli Bosnick know. I love Stitcher. Send him a message. Huge sticker fan. But so it should be available everywhere. And we would really appreciate if you're a fan

of this show and if you've heard Scathing Atheist and you're fans of their show or if you like when we get together with them, go check Citation Needed Out. Listen to it. Give it a listen. If you're a person that has an Apple device

or that has iTunes, we would appreciate you listening to it, downloading it through that media so that we could actually maybe get on new and noteworthy. We would love it if you would give that show a shot. We think it's a good show. We do. It's been, here's the thing, the show, and I know we've talked about it before, but the show is really born from the work that we did with these guys at Vulgarity for Charity Drive.

And we had so much fun working with them. We just decided, you know, we really need to try to capture some of that magic because it's just, it's a fucking hoot every time. And we put about six months worth of work into finding the right idea and testing different concepts and really kind of making sure that what we launched really was a real solid effort. I think what we're putting out, it's a fucking blast to do. And I really believe if you put something out that you love doing, then the quality is good. The feedback that we've gotten has been overwhelmingly very positive.

So if you're a listener to this show, we think you'll like the other show. Yeah. I genuinely think you will like Citation Needed. Go check it out. And then rate us on iTunes. That new and noteworthy is a big deal for us podcasters, right? Yeah. Getting on that page. That's why we're asking for it. Like throw those ratings on there. Listen through iTunes. Help us get to new and noteworthy. That helps us reach a bigger audience. It's helpful for us because this podcast, I mean and this is one piece of feedback. We'll get off this in a second, but this is one piece of feedback that we've gotten is that this is a podcast that people can share where they can't share our show. Our show is while that podcast

is no less dirty than our podcast, it's the same. It's the same level of swearing. than our podcast. It's the same level of swearing. The one thing it doesn't do is talk about God in an explicit way. The one thing it doesn't do is talk about skepticism in an explicit way. And it's a shareable show in that sense because while that skepticism

and that atheism is sort of, it's in it, there's a line of it as an undercurrent throughout. There is not an overbearing sense that you're listening to an atheist show. Right. And people feel like they can share this show with other people. do is the people that are on the fence that are believers that are, that are, you know, maybe keisters that, you know, that are your friends that you can't get to listen to our shows, you know, scathing atheist or God awful movies or cognitive dissonance.

You might be able to get them to listen to this one. And if they start to like us, maybe they'll listen to the other ones too. So, uh, so there's a way to maybe deconvert some of the people in your life that way. Um, that's, yeah, that's a good point. You know, I think, again, I think Citation Needed is just, it's been a great project. I think we think we're really going to like it. We're excited about this. I'm excited about this project.

So tune in. Take a listen. And it's a short podcast. It's under an hour every time, 30 minutes to 45 minutes. But yeah, give it a listen. We think you'll like it. Tom, before we start, we don't even have a story for this yep but we want to talk about um in in turkey there's a dragon yeah by the name of aragon or edragon or whatever his name is um he likes gold he has fire for breath right right he also likes to sick his underlings and hirelings

out onto the populace to cause mayhem man that shit was wild yeah that shit was wild what we're talking about here is president um dragon Breath or whatever was in from Turkey. He was going to meet with Trump. Protesters showed up, you know, and they did their protesting thing. We don't see the beginning of that. We don't know what happened at the beginning of the thing. But reports were not. I did not see any reports of the protests were violent at all.

I didn't see any news reports about that. And also, when you watch that video and you see the response to whatever happens, there's no response. There's no response for, I mean, even if somebody, let's say somebody threw a bottle. Right. I don't know that that's the case. I'm not saying that that's the case, but even in worst case scenario, let's say

somebody chucked a bottle at Edragan's fucking bodyguards. And I know I'm mispronouncing it. Please don't correct me. I don't care what his, I I don't care what his name is. I genuinely don't care what his name is. Dragonheart? Yeah. He's got Sean Connery's voice. He rules the country.

He's just sitting on top of the White House. He's got his head in one of the windows talking to Trump. His tail's wrapped around the dome. This is my Sean Connery voice. In case you were wondering, that's my Sean Connery impression. one of the windows talking to Trump. His tail's wrapped around the dome. Just, hello. This is my Sean Connery voice. In case you were wondering, that's my Sean Connery impression. I'll have the rapists for 500, Alex.

Anyway, he has this group of bodyguards and they just go fucking hog wide. They fucking detonate those protesters. They agent Smith the shit out of those. They run out there with their fucking skinny ties and their suit jackets, and they fucking

lay some beats on those protesters in a big way. You showed me the video. I just read the stories. I didn't see the video. You showed me the video just a few minutes ago. The one dude's on the ground curled up, and they're just like, what if we kicked him in the face more? I didn't fucking punt to that guy.

Yeah. No, they really are a soccer playing nation and you can tell. Yeah. That one guy flopped. Yeah. Yeah. That's the fucking red. The police were, and the police were throwing red cards everywhere.

Nothing happened. Let me tell you that fall looked real, man. It was brutal. It was fucking incredible. And you had an interesting point when we were talking earlier. One of the things that, that, that was sort of crossed my mind was, could you imagine if Barack Obama was still in office and all the secret

Muslim shit you'd be hearing right now, where they'd be like, Oh, he just lets his secret Muslim thugs come in and beat up American citizens. Right. But go to fucking the Donald or whatever, Reddit that fucking thing. You have crickets about this.

Yeah. Well, right. Because it's, it's, it's a different spin on that same, that fucking thing, you have crickets about this. Yeah. Well, right. Because it's, it's, it's a different spin on that same, that same narrative, right?

Like they can't, it's, it's funny how quickly, if there had been a racial complaint, if it had been, if any of them, if there had been anybody of color involved in this transaction, right?

This violent transaction, I think this entire story would have been wildly different. Sure. And I, and I think the police response would have been wildly different. Sure. And I think the police response would have been wildly different. We were watching this. The police just kind of run around

pushing people, like pushing them, like stop hitting them super hard in the face with your... And that's all that they do. The one guy gets billy clubbed a couple of times on the back.

And I think he was actually a protester. And it turns around like, bro, he didn't get hit that fucking hard. People get shot. Like a fucking 12 year old boy was playing with a fucking bb gun in baltimore or whatever and the police fucking roll up and shoot that motherfucker wasn't i don't remember yeah it happens so often i mean right it's almost like which one you know and these dudes are like fucking laying the beats down and everyone's like like, stop. Yeah. I mean, like they really were just like, get back over there.

Hey, you. Right. It was a strongly worded letter. It really was. It was like chasing your fucking kids around and being like, do your chores. How much do you think that is, though, that they see these diplomats and they don't want to be part of some sort of fucking international incident? You're just a fucking cop punching a clock. You know what I mean?

Like, you don't want to be the guy who's like started a war between you punching a clock. You know what I mean? You don't want to be the guy who's started a war between you and another country. You know what I mean? Do you think these guys really think it through that hard? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. I don't know. I don't know. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt in the sense that they're like,

you know, maybe they don't know. It's interesting. It's an interesting... Did you see any of those bodyguards getting arrested? No. They just, they looked fucking bored. Yeah. They looked like they went and I mean, in the video, they looked like they beat the shit out of people and then were just like, fuck it, I'll just go get lunch. That's

outrageous that somebody can come to America and beat up protesters on American soil. That is... It's insane. That's unprecedented. The thing is like that same thing like if you get in a fistfight outside the bar right if you're like a fucking idiot and you still fistfight as a grown-up and you get fucking into a fistfight outside the bar you get arrested yeah right you get arrested everybody gets arrested it's not the police

don't show up like well who started it like it's not just that's not your mom right it's not like well he pushed me first oh well, well, it's okay. They just fucking arrest them all. And just let the fucking court sort it out, right? These dudes were clearly beating the shit out of people. They were beating people who were on the ground holding their heads in defensive positions and they were kicking the shit

out of them. Yeah. They didn't get arrested. I didn't see anyone thrown down in handcuffs. The State Department's supposedly looking for them, but you're just like, well, it shouldn't be that hard to find. They should have been easy to find because they should have been fucking in the back of a car. So why didn't they arrest them? I don't know. They were kicking people

who were laying on the ground holding themselves. They fucking kicked that one dude. That one dude got fucking punted hard. Yeah, and that one guy's fucking bleeding from the face. And he was fucking Oldie McOlderson. He was. He wasn't fucking like a spring chicken that could take a kick to the face. I don't want to take a kick to the face.

When I was younger, my face was made up fucking Play-Doh, and I could take a kick to the face. Probably, yeah. You know, when I was 17, 18. Oh, your body's dead. Your body's made of fucking rubber bands. You don't even develop nerves at that age. So like, fucking yeah, couldn't you get kicked in the face? Sure, yeah, you might be able to be okay from it. But I wouldn't kick you in the face now, and I certainly. Couldn't you get kicked in the face? Sure. Yeah, you might be able to be okay from it.

But I wouldn't kick you in the face now. And I certainly wouldn't want to kick you in the face when I was twice my age like that guy. I know, right? Jeez, that guy's barely standing up anyway.

His bones are made out of chicken bones. And it's real easy to cut his face because all you have to do is just like wipe your hand off. All right. Skin is like wet tissue paper.

He just stands up and he develops bed sores. Being old would suck. That's why I'm going to die young. It's going to suck, my friend. Oh, I'm not going to get old. No. You think the way I treat this, it's going to age well? That machine is bound

it's already it's already like i think it's like a new serpentine belt and shit it's like it's making weird sounds in the morning it just makes this high pitch every time i walk into the kitchen i every time i turn the doctor puts a stethoscope on my chest and reels their head back like, fuck, that's not supposed to do that. Now, as far as God's concerned, he knows the end from the beginning and he sees a little baby. And that little baby could grow up to be Adolf Hitler. He could grow up to be Joseph Stalin.

Hitler. He could grow up to be Joseph Stalin. He could grow up to be some serial killer. Or he could grow up to die of a hideous disease. God sees all that. And for that life to be terminated while he's a baby, he's going to be with God forever in Heaven. So that isn't a bad thing. So how could God do that? How could a good God let that happen? Well, the good God is going to take that baby to heaven right now. And that isn't a bad thing. This story comes from the Daily Mail. And it's sad. Malnourished seven-month-old baby dies weighing just nine pounds in Belgium after his parents fed him a gluten-free diet, which included quinoa milk.

So the mother and father ran a natural health food store and they gave him a diet, which led to the kid weighing fucking nothing. The autopsy showed he had a completely empty stomach, but there is an upside to this story, Cecil. What's that?

Even though he only weighed nine pounds at seven months. Seven months. He should have been like 18 pounds. No, about 18. 18 pounds. Yeah. That's seven months. About 18 pounds. Depending on how old he was when he was born. I mean, like, who knows? It depends on how much he squats. Right.

You know what I mean? Like, if he's squatting a lot, maybe he's 21 pounds. If he fucking skips leg day, who fucking knows? Fucking lazy baby. Yeah. Nobody likes leg day. You just do it. He's eating Cheetos a lot. If he's a gamer at seven months and he's probably 25 pounds.

Yeah. Big, fat, chunky legs. He can barely see. Actually, his legs are so fat, he's like a standing bumbo. He's like a weeble. He doesn't a standing bumbo. He's like a weeble. He doesn't fall down. You just gotta feed him enough.

You just splorp him when you put him down. He just makes a squawk sound. This kid didn't have that problem. He didn't. He had the problem of an empty stomach. But he did also have a prayer card found in his nappy, which is nice. Not as nice as food would have been. Food would have been way better. I don't understand this part of the story, Tom.

Gluten-free diet. Yeah. What do you think comes out of tits? Do you think when you squeeze it, pie dough comes out? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

I need to stop you. I'm imagining a tit that produces pie right now. Just give me a moment with this image. I understand you might think there's gluten in there because when you see them, you want to need them.

I get it. I get it. They're not dinner rolls. It's not a dinner roll. It's a tit. Right. It's full of lots of gluten-free stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, and so is formula. And so is cow milk. But, okay. And goat milk. But the other thing though. Animal milks that have fats and calories. The other thing that drives me nuts about this story, and this in general, because this is not an isolated case.

This happens on occasion. You run a natural food store. What is more natural than fucking pulling your tit out of your fucking clothes and feeding your kid that? I mean, there's nothing more natural than that. If natural is the emphasis, right, yeah. There's literally nothing more natural than that. If natural is the emphasis, right, yeah. There's literally nothing more natural than that. But something is deeply wrong, right? Because like, this kid, like,

this kid was gasping for breath. Your child doesn't maintain a weight that is suitable for its day of birth. You know, kids are born at nine pounds. Routinely. You know, eight, nine pounds, that's not, it's a big baby, it's not a massive baby. Eight, nine pound baby is at nine pounds. Yeah. Routinely, you know, eight, nine pounds. That's not, it's a big baby. It's not a massive baby.

Eight, nine pound baby is just a baby. Yeah. Seven months later, the fucking kid is the same fucking, this kid they say is like, you know, gasping for breath. There's no way you're like, oh, this is working. Yeah. This is a healthy baby. This is, yeah, my kid's doing just fine.

In the article, it describes this fucking kid sounds like it's suffering terribly. Yeah, the whole time. I'm Raymond Massey, and I have a special message for senior citizens. Today's doctors, drugs, and medical devices truly work medical miracles for young and old alike. But there are some as phony as a $3 bill. Investigate before you invest in health services or products.

Help stamp out quackery. So, stories from Media Matters. Likely Vatican ambassador Calista Gingrich's company hawked biblical cancer cure. So, let me start off by saying, like, who fucking cares who the ambassador

to the Vatican is, right? I'm actually happy that we have an ambassador to the Holy See. I think this is a good... Maybe they can provide a few puffy pants soldiers for the war on terror, Tom.

Maybe they can show up with a halberd and guard the... Yeah, maybe they could send a few to, you know, the worst parts of Syria and stand around in their orange fucking pants from the past and their fucking melee weapons.

Right? What's the deal? Why do we have an ambassador? What could he ambass? Like? I don't understand what you're going to do. I'm baffled by the concept of an ambassador to the Vatican.

It's a tiny little shit state. You could throw a rock across it. Do we think that the Vatican is going to be influenced? What do you have an ambassador for? What do you have an ambassador for? I thought, what do you have an ambassador for? It's to improve relations

with another country. To make sure that your trade is good. Can I have a prayer? What are you going to trade? Because all that's around there is shitty miracle stores that sell you garbage wood carvings, crosses, pictures

of the Pope, and fucking funnel cake. Rosary beads, yeah. It's like, fucking, what are we going to trade funnel cake with them? A creperie? Get the fuck out of here. What would the ambassador do? And it also, like, as ambassadorships go, it

sounds horrible. Oh, we're going to go to the vatican again it's like it's like being a fucking ambassador to disney after a while you're like there's nothing left to do here i was bored at the vatican in fucking an hour yeah i was bored i walked through the big giant basilica of saint fucking whoever the fuck it is walk through there i was like that's a big fucking church i know who that is i know who that is. I know who that is. Cool. Want to go on the tour? Sure. We go up and you're up really high. You're like, whoa, I'm really fucking high, man. This is a huge church. There's only so many times in an

hour you could say, that's a huge fucking church. Then you're bored. You're just like, oh. It was the most inane garbage tour. I was just like, great. I saw a big church. I want to go somewhere else. I'd like to see another thing. Weren't there like a whole bunch of rules about what you could wear in the church and like how loud you could talk? Yeah, actually, before we left, we had to travel to Rome.

So we docked in this port. Then we traveled to Rome. And the travel to Rome was about an hour and a half. But on the trip that they said, the tour that we took, they specifically said, women should wear, guys shouldn't come in tank tops and shorts

and girls shouldn't wear. So nobody from New Jersey can go. Yeah. All the New Jersey people. Snooki was right out. There's no Snooki. There's no situation. There's no situation.

No matter what, you can't do that. I'm going to get my swell out in the basilica. All you fucking trashy Jersey fucks, you got to stay where you're at. Girls couldn't dress in a way that was, you know. Like you couldn't keep their vagina out or whatever. Yeah, like they couldn't walk around and like squirt on people. That was frowned on. That's a no-no?

It was frowned on. No, but I mean, there was kind of like a, it a it wasn't there's no as near as i could tell there wasn't a dress code but it was too chilly that day to know okay but it was strongly suggested from the tour right so i don't know if there is a dress code or not i i don't to be honest i don't care because i'm never going back i literally never go back even if i was invited i would go back i'd be like no why go back i already saw the church. It's real big. Did I say that earlier? That's all there is to know about it.

Well, there's the gift shops, right? There is a bunch of shit shops there. And there's a fucking huge snaking ass line that you gotta work your way to just even try to get to the place. It's a huge fucking... It's Disneyland. Like you say, it's a fucking huge fucking line that goes back and forth and all that.

Well, what the fuck do you need an ambassador to that for? I don't know. What's the ambassador? That's the thing I don't want to say. Like, what's the ambassador going to do? He's going to be like, well, we should, I don't know, man, the Pope thinks he talks to God. Yeah. The fuck am I going to tell this motherfucker?

Yeah. Yeah, here's what I think you should do. Well, God says otherwise. Well, I don't know. Fuck me then. I'm going to go back to bed. otherwise. Well, I don't know. Fuck me then. I'm going to go back to bed. Right. Like, I don't care. But the person who's been

nominated or whatever for ambassador to fucking Jesus Disneyland or whatever they're calling it, it's Newt Gingrich's wife. She founded this fucking company. She purports to sell this fucking Bible book, like the Bible cure for cancer.

This cancer was cured in like 1921. But the cure can be found in the Bible. Why did it take us till 1925 to cure it? If it's in the Bible? Well, because we didn't read it. Nobody read it. Nobody had actually cracked it open. Nobody got to the last page.

Nobody even cracked it open. It's in the afterword. Yeah. That's the thing. A lot of people just stop reading. Nobody reads the acknowledgments yeah in the back it just says apple cider vinegar that's what it's like right in the back it's in the back cover right so yeah i was in an elevator the other day and this girl and this other girl are talking and one of them says yeah i've been trying to take one teaspoon

of apple cider vinegar every morning. I'm thinking, why? What the fuck for? You know, and she's like, yeah, I just haven't been drinking coffee and I've been drinking apple cider vinegar. And I'm like, those don't relate. Go back to coffee. Right. So much better. Well, wait a minute.

Wait, hold on a second. Why? And I wonder why in her view, you have to do one or the other. You can't do both. Like, I know the apple cider vinegar is garbage, right? It's nonsense. Why would you the apple cider vinegar is garbage, right? It's nonsense. Why would you put apple cider vinegar in my coffee? That's how, that's how I, that's how I, you know, that's how I dress it up. Yeah.

And then instead of creamer, I put Tums in it because my fucking stomach would explode. I just take a miracle fruit before I drink it. It's sweet like candy. It's like sweet honey. Yeah. I love this woman though. She looks like a fucking bird of prey. She looks like a fucking bird of prey. She does look like a raptor. She looks like a bird of prey. I've never seen anybody so sharp.

That's like pointy. Which wife is this? Is this the one? This isn't the one that died. Yeah, no. I get them mixed up because he's had a lot. Is this, yeah, I don't know. Is this the mistress one or?

Well, I mean, it's fine. I mean, the first one's practice. The first one's practice. Everybody knows that. That's a mulligan. You've never looked at the heavens. Everything in the heavens is here, moving as the heavens move. That's how I know it's coming.

How else can I make the prediction? A thousand years ago, there was a great conjunction. Three suns lined up. Another great conjunction coming up. Anything could happen. The whole world might burn up. The great conjunction is the end of the world Or the beginning This is Jim Foodbuckets Baker Trump opponents have triggered the apocalypse I grabbed this story because of the word have Not will

Not are going to Not are triggered either They're not snowflaking the apocalypse They'll be dust snowflakes Like radioactive snowflakes Not are triggered either. Right. Not are triggered. They're not snowflaking the apocalypse. Yeah. Yeah. They're not triggered. They'll be, they'll be, they'll be a dust snowflakes, like radioactive snowflakes.

Are they cucking the apocalypse? Hey, it's raining Pepe the frogs. All right. So this is Jim Baker on his show. He has a sign in his hands right now before we play this. Just says words. I wrote on a piece of paper and I doubt if you can see it. before we play this. It just says, words. So there we go.

I wrote it on a piece of paper, and I doubt if you can see it. What is this war now? It's all about words. Words. It's important that you pronounce words. Words. That way it's less clear than if you just said words.

Words, words, words, words. This is the first horse of the apocalypse. You say, oh, Jim, you believe we're in the apocalypse? Yes. The apocalypse has already begun. And the four horses of the apocalypse

read it. I'm going to read it, and then you can comment if you want. Now, when they let the four horses of the apocalypse go, if like one of them wins the first week. Yeah. Is there a chance that one of them can get the triple crown? I saw and behold a white horse and he that sat on him had a bow and a crown was given unto him. And he went forth conquering and to conquer, to subdue. But what was this?

He had a bow, but he did not have arrows. He did not have the weapon. He didn't have bullets. He didn't have... Wouldn't it just be like unsaid that they would have the arrows? The arrows? Yeah. Like who leaves their house and grabs their bow and is like,

you bringing any arrows? Well, I had a quiver full. No. But, yeah. I decided. Maybe it's like the bow from the kid from D&D. Because he had a bow that just was like a bow, and then he would just pull his hand and there would be an energy arrow.

Do you remember this? Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Maybe that's the kind of bow. It's like a special bow. Maybe. It's like a Mercedes.

There's no such thing as any of this. You know, this is biblical terminology. So here we have right now the spirit of Antichrist. Where? This evil. Where? In the book he's reading, Tom. You missed it.

But he's supposed to say, he's supposed to be telling me now that I think if I'm following his bucket wisdom, I think what he's telling me, I think what he's telling me. When they pass the plate there, do you think they just hand a five-gallon bucket around and everybody just drops their change and their money in this big five-gallon food bucket? No part of me would be surprised, actually,

if that were true. Yeah. Like, actually, I think I'd be surprised if it wasn't true. It would even be funnier if they had like one of those holders like they have at the Catholic Church. I don't know if you've been in a Catholic Church where they have like the little Yeah, it's on like

a pool skimmer. I went to several Catholic churches where you don't pass the plate. They walk around with it. Like you say, a pool skimmer. And they're like, they hand it down. They just reach down. I just put those weird beetles in there that't pass the plate. They walk around with it. Like you say, like a pool skimmer. And they're like, they hand it down. They just reach down. I just put those weird beetles in there. Maybe that's what they do.

They just like a little holder on the bucket. And then they just hand the bucket around. But isn't he supposed to be telling me right now, like that this is all a metaphor. And now he's supposed to tell me how this metaphor ties into events that are happening. Right. Isn't that what he's supposed to be selling me, right?

Oh, he's supposed to be selling me buckets. But isn't that the idea he's supposed to sell me so that I'm scared enough to buy his buckets? Yeah, I don't know who the spirit of Antichrist, though,

I think he's going to say the spirit of Antichrist is in all the people who are protesting Trump. And that's a horse? It's a war of words. And they're using it on television.

They said, so-and-so has plans to kill Hannity. And they don't mean kill with a gun. They mean kill with words. That's right. What? What does that even mean? First off, nobody said so-and-so wants to kill Hannity. Who said

they want to kill Hannity? I don't know. Who is Hannity? And that's like the apocalypse is going to get triggered. World War I was triggered with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand. If you want to hear more about that,

you can check it out on Citation Needed. Yeah. But is World War III going to happen because of Hannity? No, his wife wouldn't even go to war for that. Right?

I wouldn't even go to breakfast for that. And I've been't even go to breakfast for that. And I've been crying out. And I don't know if anyone in the church is hearing me, but we're in a warfare of words and the church has got to wake up and we've got to stand up. You know, salvation is words. With the mouth, confession is made unto salvation.

There's a lot of things. Here's the thing, though. There's a lot of things, good things that can happen with the mouth. I agree. I think he's right. I think he's right. My favorite is ass to mouth. It's not my favorite. Well, not for me. I don't feel like anybody's winning.

And the devil is trying to cut out the voice of the church. He came to kill, steal, and destroy. Absolutely. Everything that the church has stands. Life and death. The power of it. Was that right?

The power's in the tongue. In the tongue. It is. I agree. It is. Absolutely. The power is in the tongue. We are.

Also relates to asthma. But you don't want to use all the power at once like it just desensitizes the whole area like you gotta do that take some time and you want to eat a miracle fruit beforehand that's where this war is right now this is the spiritual warfare as i'm absolutely i wrote this in my book several years ago mine book mine book you can get this that's my comp i've written this in all my writings you can buy lots of these things with your money yeah oh you can buy absolutely if you're curious about the things I'm not telling you, but I'm alluding to, you can certainly buy them at jimbakersalesyoucrap.com.

Actually, all our buckets come with the packing of my old books. Actually, all of our buckets are just filled with basically shreddings of my old books. You know, it'd be hilarious, too, because nobody's going to ever open them. Right. So you just fill them with, like, like sent you a big pile of gravel. It's just like shredded Chinese newspapers and Apple cores. That's all that's in there. Shredded Chinese.

Doesn't even matter. I'm still hungry. 20 minutes after the apocalypse. This is what I believe. He has a bow, but no arrows. He's not equipped for material warfare, but he's out to conquer. How are they conquering? They want to. They say so. They want to kill

our president, President Trump with words. Wait, they want to kill him with words? We do. They is us. But do we want to kill him softly with our song? Is that how it works? I don't understand. Indubitably. Here's the thing. Like, does he not know that sticks and stones are more effective at breaking bones? I don't understand. Indubitably. Here's the thing.

Like, does he not know that sticks and stones are more effective at breaking bones? I will say that Trump will die from a mouth, but it's going to be him eating chocolate cake. Did you see the thing where Trump gets two scoops of ice cream and everybody else only gets one? That's so funny. Did you see that? That's so funny. He probably eats two scoops of fucking Neapolitan. Yeah, right. He's a fucking or Spumoni. Scoops it across. Fucking's so funny. Did you see that? That's so funny. He probably eats two scoops of fucking Neapolitan.

Or Spumoni. Fucking scumbag. With a Danish on top of it. He puts it on a Danish and eats it. Everybody else is only allowed one scoop of ice cream. He gets two. How dare you, sir? How dare you?

I let a lot of things slide. I let a lot of things slide. I let a lot of things slide. That is a transgression too far. I can't even imagine if my boss was like, I get two, you get one. I'd be like, man, fuck you. This is a job. I'm a grown ass man. I'm going to have

some more ice cream if I want some more ice cream. I'll tell you what would be awesome is he invites you over for ice cream. He gets two, you get one, and then you just walk over. You kick his fucking fridge open. And then you just pull the whole carton out and you just start eating out of the carton. And I would eat the whole fucking thing right there. Even better is just to walk over and kick the fucking chair out from under him and take his fucking ice cream.

His fucking dragon edrican fucking kills me. They want to assassinate his person. Absolutely. It's a character assassination of a character. And that's what's happening. It's character assassination of a character. That's actually true with Trump. You can't.

He has no character. You have to assassinate the character he created. It's happening everywhere you turn. Everything you watch. Everything you hear, everything that is being put out in social media today is to assassinate the character of a president that really has been in office maybe 100 days plus. And we're seeing results that we have never seen, at least in my lifetime. I have not seen this type of ridiculeness. Ridiculeness.

Which types of ridiculeness has he seen prior? Here's the thing. This guy's trying. He's trying. He's an illegal immigrant. Who's waiting for it? That's just trying

to make it in the United States. And we should be okay. We should cut him and his fucking teardrop tattoos. We should be okay with him. If he wasn't doing this, he'd be picking tomatoes, Tom. You know what? You're right. I am going to let go of this type of ridiculousness or ridiculosity or whatever.

Ridiculizing. I can't even make fun of it because I can't even remember how stupid he pronounced it. I believe he said ridiculizing. Ridiculize. In my lifetime, I have not seen this type of ridiculeness.

This type of ridiculeness is for me this kind of ridiculeness. I will not take this kind of ridiculeness. Office of the United States. And the warfare has gone on and on and on and on. And this warfare has been on every TV show, every TV station. Every show.

Every TV show. Law and order SVU. I think this boy was raped by Donald Trump. Really? Super weird. In between O'Reilly grabbing a staffer's ass in between commercial breaks, it's all just anti-Trump. Eliminating anyone that is pro-Trump from every broadcast. Soon, very soon, the only conservatives will be on Christian television.

Yes. And then we're the next. Which nobody watches. And we know nobody watches it. Our ratings are terrible, guys. We don't even watch this shit. We're jerking off to Pornhub like everybody else. Target.

Just write it down. Christian television is the next target. We're going to have to stand strong. Nobody would even know that you exist. That's like saying, small independent podcasters are the next target. Nobody even knows we exist, man. Nobody knows.

The FCC is going to kick down the door, glory hole students. They'd be unlikely to find us here unless they knew what day we recorded. It's so funny because we get caught up in how important we think we are. We talk about this with the social justice movement all the time, Tom.

We talk about like, oh man, we think of Sam Harris as a really big name. We think of Sam Harris like, oh man, what a huge name Sam Harris is. We think about, you know, other people in the movement. We think, oh, my gosh, that person is, you know, just this huge name in the movement. They're pseudo quasi famous people. Yep.

They're not. Well, I've joked about this a number of times. These are not real celebrities. Yeah. Right. Sam Harris is a great example. We think of him as this sort of titan, right,

of kind of our movement or whatever. Let's walk out on the street and just ask the next 100 people that we meet. If they know who Sam Harris is. You ever heard of Sam Harris?

Can you tell me who he is? How many people do you think? I'm going to guess it's 5%. Five? And that's a high number and that's not a celebrity. I think that's pretty generous even. Yeah.

Because I bet you a lot of people wouldn't know who Sam Harris is. Yeah. Let's go find randomly the next 100 people. Ask them if they know who Sam Harris is. My guess is they don't. Ask the next thousand who Daniel Dennett is. Right.

Yeah. And that's the thing. You go down even a little bit from Sam Harris, right? You go down to. Ask the next 20,000 who David Smalley is. 40,000. 100,000. 100,000. 100,000.

One million people. Ask Brandy who David Smalley is. How many people out of a million know who David Smalley is? Ask everybody in David Smalley's neighborhood who David Smalley is. What happened this week? When did ABC cancel? I keep asking Cora because I know this is something. Yeah, they canceled.

Hold on a minute. I know what he's going to say. They canceled fucking Tim Allen's show. And they're fucking super butthurt about Tim Allen's show getting canceled for some reason. I didn't know Tim Allen had a show. Nobody else did, which is why it got canceled. They canceled Tim Allen's show. But they actually canceled it because they were moving all of their lineup on Fridays to dramas.

What is it? What was it? It's just some sitcom. That's it? That's it. He just had a sitcom. Was it like a Christian sitcom? I don't think so. It was just a regular sitcom on ABC. But I think Tim Allen is like a big Christian dude. And his show got canceled because he's a vocal Christian.

But it's not why it got canceled. It got canceled because they want to have their Friday primetime lineup be all dramas. I thought Tim Allen was a cokehead. He was a former cokehead, but he's been forgiven. He forgave himself using the Magic Sky Man's permission. I didn't realize. Oh, okay. I thought he was still doing coke. And I'm going to explain all the comedy.

Right. You know what I mean? Like all the bad comedy. Yeah, none of it's any good. You say this is a great show i watched tim allen back when he's his first couple shows you know what was what was his first home improvement home improvement and and his shows have always been clean decent yes fun shows and last minute his shows are always been his shows are always been. His shows are always been. Clean and decent.

Are always been. That's how you say that, Tom. No. When you're on the Jim Baker stage. I hate him. And you're sitting on a Baker bucket. I wonder if they're all sitting on buckets. Instead of chairs.

Yeah. You can repurpose these as office chairs. They just put up, they have like a weird backer thing that they put on it. You just sit on your weird bucket. Man Standing has been his new show on ABC Network. So what happened this week? Well, Last Man Standing, a show that had very impressive numbers

and has been around for six full seasons has now been canceled. I didn't even know this show existed. I genuinely had no idea that this show even existed. I thought, if you would have told me last week, Tim Allen was dead. I would have been like,

okay. Yeah. If you'd have told me last week, Tim Allen's been dead for five years. I'd have been like, yeah, I thought I heard that. I wouldn't have questioned it.

I'd have been like, yeah, those stars die all the time, especially coke heads. I would have been like, yeah, he probably fucking, he probably blew up. Yeah. Nobody cared. Not even Tim Allen when he died. Like he's like, I'm those stars die all the time, especially coke heads. I would have been like, yeah, he probably fucking he probably blew up.

Yeah, nobody cared. Not even Tim Allen when he died. Like he's like, I'm not even going to my own funeral. I don't give a fuck. Whatever. And the reason is political. Tim Allen's character actually is a he represents political, conservative and devout Christian adhering to traditional American values. And they're saying,

and let me remind you that ABC is owned by Disney, who is a very liberal company. Now what I- Then why did they make it in the first place? Then why did it get fucking six seasons in the first fucking place if they're such a liberal company? Yeah.

Here's the thing, man. If this show is killing it, shows, these shows don't exist to entertain us. These shows exist to sell items. They exist to sell ads. The fucking executives don't give a flying fuck about the show. The show is an irrelevance. The show is there so that advertisers buy ad space.

And that's why something successful is something that drives revenue. It's just a product. They're just selling you a product. If this thing was killing it, they'd keep it. They would keep it. They will put on and put up with so much shit just to have... Look at what happened with

that Tiger Blood guy. Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen! They went crazy. They tried to get him back. They're like, oh, maybe you could do it. And he's like, no, I think I'm going to go hang out with Tom Cruise and jump on sofas or whatever. Forgot about that guy. Like, you know how he fucked with crazy? Yeah, he did.

And then they're like, oh, we'll just replace you with Ashton Kutcher. I don't even know who they put on the show. It doesn't matter. They replaced him with another person. What I don't understand about this is there's a lot of inconsistency. How come they are canceling shows that have traditional american values which apparently offends some people but then they will let on people who are saying just grotesque things about the president of the united states but you know what they're saying about they let him on look at that face yeah is, I just told you so face. Oh yeah. That is a face. I've never seen a

more face at 435 in this show. They're saying it's virtually a cash cow. That means it pours cash into their coffers. Then they would keep it. Really? Like the executives at these

companies, they have an obligation to make money for their shareholders you know that's all they're trying to do it's funny too because you know maybe it's a cash cow but maybe it's the only one of those comedies that's working right like you said like it's that and so they're just like you know what we can fucking kill it with dramas we'll just kill it with dramas on friday night people are gonna watch 48 hours they're gonna watch us and and nobody cares about john stossel right right usually business people don't make stupid decisions about something that's pouring money in but what they're doing they hate trump what is this this is not a normal spirit this is not a normal hate this is that spirit of the this is a sitcom this has nothing to do

with trump seriously this is a sitcom that got canceled this is your proof of the apocalypse this is your proof that everybody hates trump like this the proof of the apocalypse is when they canceled fucking serenity like if we're really if we're gonna get fucking real upset about shows that got canceled the proof of the apocalypse is when they fucking renewed the apprentice right yeah the proof of the apocalypse is when they fucking renewed The Apprentice. Right? Yeah. The proof of the apocalypse is when they didn't fucking finish Deadwood, you goddamn San Francisco cocksuckers. Fucking monsters.

First horse of the apocalypse, which is riding now, is the spirit of hatred that's taking over America. And life and death is in the power of the tongue. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Agreed. Agreed. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Big fan of the tongue.

Horse tongue. That'll clean you from the inside out. I'll tell you what. That's our Roto-Rootin'. You just put a little peanut butter on there. Jeez. That's a lot, man. You just don't want them nibble it on your carrot.

Bite that thing off, right? Jeez, you got to file their teeth down. It's too much prep work for me. It really is. You know? Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at dissonance.pod dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet

about it, contact them by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content, including full patron-only shows? We'll see you next time. buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. The fuck? This story is fucked. It's from Right Wing Watch. John Roberson Roberson? Reberson?

A satanic pedophile ring blackmailed Robin Williams into making Patch Adams. Patch Adams, for those of you who don't know, is a movie from the fucking past. Patch Adams came out 18 years ago. We're just getting around now to uncovering the grand conspiracy that is Patch Adams. Well, this guy's on the Dave.

He's on the Dave Dobbenmeier show. Oh, coach? Yeah, doc coach. Not a coach. Not a coach. He's on that show. Much of what is used in Hollywood today that would be considered Luciferian in nature.

Consider Luciferian by who? I've never considered anything Luciferian in nature. Except for like, maybe if I'm watching Devil's Advocate. Yeah. Because the devil's a character. Part of the movie. I'm a fan of man!

Comes from a lot of the druidic incantations, the druidic witchcraft. I love this guy already. Where has he been all my life? I don't know. I love him already. Where have the druids been all my life?

Worship of Gaia of Earth in 9th and 10th century England. And prior to that, you can trace that through Kabbalistic uh witchcraft jewish mysticism all the way back really to what was going on in babylon so really you could trace it back to the first dinosaur who lived on earth and so worshipped earth and dinosaurs were devils and the devil is a dinosaur and dinosaurs used to cock their head back and look up at the moon and go but they didn't make that sound. They kind of made the sound of the pterodactyl in He-Man. That was a lot more like that.

I want people to understand that there's a distinct through line from the time that the Babylonians were sacrificing kids to Moloch. Remember when the Babylonians were sacrificing kids to Moloch? That's why we have the movie Patch Adams. In the temple at the top of the Tower of Babel, at the top of that construct. The top of the Tower of Babel that didn't exist. I just want to point that out. At the top of the Tower of Babel, the Babylonians were sacrificing kids to Moloch.

But didn't God get mad about the tower sacrifices, you wonder? Or did he get mad about... I think it was the hubristic nature of the tower's height, right? They were going to build it right up into his colon or whatever. It was going to wind up in his front porch and he was not a fan. That is zoning problems. Y'all got a permit

for that tower. I said no tower over three stories tall. And if you build a tower that tall, you got to put one of those blinky lights on. And you didn't have the blinky light. From the time that they attempted to slap God right

in the face with that stuff to Hollywood today, you could do an exhaustive study and find a distinct through line in the practice. You could. Nobody has. No. No, he has. Because that's crazy. He has, Tom.

You could tell because he's in a blazer. That's true. He is in a fancy thinking chair. He's got a brown leather chair and you know you've done some thinking when you're sitting in a brown leather chair. He's got a full set of

D&D books behind him. I bet that office smells of rich mahogany. I bet you he has an original fiend folio of witchcraft. This pedophile thing is real, John. I don't want to argue whether Pizzagate's real, rather that there is

pedophilia running rampant and Hollywood has been there for years. Okay. Pizzagate isn't real. Yeah. It's just not real. That's why he doesn't want to address it.

Right. Right. Because it's been debunked. Yeah. So what he's saying is like, look, pedophilia is real. It's a big problem in Hollywood. Pedophilia is real. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's saying it's a big problem in Hollywood, though. I don't know what the source is. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe not. But he doesn't have any source.

But the reason he wants to throw the Pizzagate thing out is because that's one thing that we know isn't real. Sure. You know what might prove whether there is pedophilia in Hollywood is if some crackpot takes an AK-47 to Hollywood and holds up. Just holds up the

sign. Just holds up the sign. He stands up for the sign. Bring out your pedophiles! You've seen it close up front, personal. This is the real deal, isn't it, John? Yeah, it is. And I'm glad, Coach, we would be remiss if we didn't touch on that for a few minutes here this morning on Coach Dave

Live. And folks, we cover this on Hagman Report all the time. We cover this on Hagman Report. So if you missed Coach's show, you can always tune into the Hagman Report. Nobody's ever seen your shitty show, you shit. And

more on that later. But anyhow, I'll plug it later again. I'm going to plug it now, but I'll plug it later. He is killing this TV stuff. He is just fucking killing it. Quote unquote TV. Tom, this is a Google hangout. Okay. Right. With a camera with like a weird soft lens, by the way. Also, it's cutting off his forehead. He's overexposed on one side real bad. He's got like weird soap opera lens. He does. I will say this though. Shadowside to camera looking good. You know what I mean? Like you learn that in cinematography

early. So this is what happens. Okay. You want to get these kids in a compromising position as soon as it's possible. Again, going back to the age of 12 and this happens a lot. Now, when I did that conference last weekend, I age at 12 getting a little long in a tooth at 12. Jesus almost got pubic hair

worth it at that point. Lord, I they better be fucking rubber ducky squeaky clean. Oh my God. Come on. Rubber ducky squeaky clean. Come on. You don't want to get any hair in there. You're the worst.

I preface this by saying, you are now going to see a picture of who I regard to be a true American hero. And I put a picture of Corey Feldman, a promo shot from about two years ago up, okay? Corey wrote a book where he exposed pedophilia at the highest upper echelons of Hollywood. We're talking executive VPs of development,

producers, mega power agents, and the international bankers that fund all this stuff. If he didn't get that reputation as best boy, maybe everybody would... I'm sorry. They give him an award at the end of the year. You know what, guys? If you don't want to hear jokes like that,

maybe you shouldn't have dressed like that. You had that coming. I want to say, though, he's naming all these different people. He's like, oh, all these upper echelon power brokers, they don't name names. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, it was an executive VP of development or whatever. Well, who, who, that's a title. Yeah. It's not a name. Yeah.

Why they never name any names. Like nobody ever gets arrested. There's never a, you know, like it's really hard to believe that these pedophile rings exist because all you have is somebody saying it happened. And then you never have any independent investigations that corroborate any of this shit, ever.

I mean, not that I'm aware of, at least. You just get these guys who have some weird vested interest in... Well, they don't like Hollywood because Hollywood is against their morals. Right. Right.

So they want to demonize Hollywood however they can. And this is a perfect way. Right. Yeah, sure. They're all legit. Pedophilia is universally reviled. Right. Right. And rightfully so.

There's nobody out there who's like fucking high five for the kitty fucking like nobody's doing that. Right. Except for like this tiny segment of population. And so the thing is is is like these guys know it's universally reviled sure i'm leery of the ring right like to me like when they say like it's a ring i'm like it's a ring of whole like a whole group of people that are like passing kids around like a highly illegal highly frowned around frowned upon thing is happening right in the sort of wide out in the open. And nobody says anything about it.

Nobody talks about it. Like that just seems ridiculous to me. The whole thing seems absurd. But if it's happening, I don't understand why there's not, you know, like these guys, it's like the police don't have access to the same stories. Right. Right. So and the police are just have access to the same stories. Right. Right. So, and the police are just like, ah, we'll get around to it. I don't know.

It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. I'm leery. Anytime somebody doesn't name names, I'm leery. Anytime it's this, you know, anytime there's this big conspiracy of general opportunists, you know, like the rest of the world doesn't seem to work this way. Right. Okay.

They throw parties. The parties become orgiastic. They ply these young kids with pharmaceuticals. And see, they don't necessarily try to get them drunk at 12 or 13. You just give them a few pills. And then what they do is they will capture on video these young kids in very compromising positions. And I'm not just talking to orgiastic behavior. I'm talking about a multi-partner homosexual.

It's hard to get this stuff in the right verbiage. But I'm talking about bloodletting, animal dismemberment. Nobody's doing this stuff. I'm sorry. No. Animal dismemberment, Tom. I'm sorry. No.

You don't think people are doing animal dismemberment? No, nobody's doing this stuff. I'm sorry. No. Animal dismemberment time? I'm sorry. You don't think people are doing animal dismemberment? No, nobody's doing this stuff. Seems plausible. Nobody is doing this stuff and not like, you know, even if there was like a dude, like one weird fucking total fucking psycho wackaloon dude doing it, there's not fucking like all these people

who happen to all have the same job that are just like, oh, you know what? It's so convenient that you're a fucking key grip too, because I like bloodletting and animal dismemberment as much as the next executive VP of development. Like so fucking weird. Yeah. This is not happening.

There's not like a fucking secret cabal of people who saw limbs off animals. Yeah. This is not happening. and as we are now learning since the quote-unquote pizzagate uh story broke out of the wiki leaks data dump of early november 2016 we're learning that there is this global pedogate issue and folks i got news for you yeah no that that wasn't played out in any of the stuff that came out in that that wasn't played out that was just a bunch of fucking internet morons who said that it happened because they made up terms and said that you could just fucking like ovaltine those fucking

secret ovaltine ring those those fucking terms in there right and people believed them without fucking what the fuck and without checking any of this stuff super checkable you checked it you like you you even i remember you even you said okay based on your premise if pizza means you know young boy or whatever i'm gonna go and do the search for all instances of pizza and they were all intensely innocuous. They were impossible to misconstrue as anything other than a food item. But it's, but it's these, the thing is, is like, we just live in a, in a time now where people don't even care about that. Right. Like they just say, they heard some fucking dipshit fucking basement dwellers say, well, pizza means fucking child fucking.

And then they're like, but they said pizza 172 times. I searched for it. But you didn't read any of the instances. When they're like, we got to feed staffers pizza, which means we got to hold little kids over them and let them ejaculate on their faces. Why would it mean that? Doesn't fucking mean that.

And think about how insane your worldview has to be to think that it is more likely that a, hey, we should buy the staff for some pizza tonight. It is more likely that that means we should have sex with children versus I bet people are getting hungry because they're working late. Yeah. What is wrong with you? It's like listening to this guy detail, you know, these supposed orgiastic parties or whatever, full of pharmaceuticals. Like, this is in his imagination. Yeah. Like, this guy's writing a weird V.C. Andrews book in his mind.

Exactly, right? Yeah. That's exactly it, right? When you hear the detail that he's having, you just think, how do you know all this? He's writing a penthouse letter. It never happened, right? It never happened. Oh, so anyway, I went to the grocery store

and like 30 women sucked my dick. Really? Really? That happened? No. You just wrote it down. Writing things doesn't make it true. This cougar walked up to me and said,

I'd like to feel your melons. I'd like to see how ripe your tomatoes are. I don't even know what that means. Goes all the way back to the sexual practice. I'm going to palpate your mangoes. What? Wait, what? Odd.

I'm going to masticate your celery. Lady, you're creeping me out. Stay away from me. This is the Babylonians. You wonder why kids are going from Toronto to Hollywood to Haiti to Mexico City because when God dispersed the Babylonians, they took two things

with them. Kids. Kids and other kids. Kids and diddling tools. I love it. It's like the reason kids are going from this place to this place to this place is because of Babylonians.

Because of Babylonians, Tom. This little kid's like, why am I going to Haiti? Babylonians. Okay. Clear it right up. Did you bring your diddling tools? Sacrifice and what we call pedophilia. So in Hollywood, they want you compromised at a young age because once they've got the goods on you on video.

But don't they have the goods on themselves on video? I don't understand this at all. How does that work? Like, OK, so I'm a fucking executive and I apply you. I'm a I'm a I'm a pedophile executive. an executive and I apply you. I'm a I'm a I'm a pedophile executive. I apply you with drugs at a young age and I fuck you silly on my couch and I tape it. And then I tell you later, I'm going to blackmail you with the thing that I cry. You silly. I'm the one doing all the wrong things in this, but I will blackmail you. How does it even work?

Own you. And that explains without, I'm not making allegations here, but that explains why a mega talent like Robin Williams would make something like Patch Adams. Once they own you, they've got you. All of that because he didn't like Patch Adams.

All of that. Well, you know, maybe Robin Williams had a boat payment or therapist payments. You know what I All of that. Well, you know, maybe Robin Williams had a boat payment. Yeah. Or therapist payments. You know what I mean? Like Robin Williams, you know. Yeah. It's not like Robin Williams never made any bad movies.

No shit, right? Like his entire collection of work is just, he's made plenty of shit movies. Well, and if that's the case, then how do you explain Nicolas Cage? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

I saw this headline and I laughed out loud. Oh, this is so good. This is so good. Right wing watch. Just another day on true news. It's Rick Wiles's show. Queen Elizabeth is a Satanist lizard and Bill Clinton is a cannibal. And initially, I will tell you, I read that as cannonball.

It's every bit as believable. They think cannonball. Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton ate the fuck out of Monica Lewinsky. Here we go. This is true news. This guy's voice is fucking perfect basement dweller too. I heard a little bit

of this earlier. The queen lizard is reported to have recently died. Do you remember? okay just out of the gate just remember remember the scene in ghostbusters when rick moranis is putting the coats on the bed and he's like and he's telling people about how so-and-so has a life insurance policy and he hooked them up with listen to how this guy talks. He's fucking Rick Moranis right before he gets fucked by a dog. Listen to this.

The last day or two. Oh my god. Are you the key master? Are you the key master? Queen of England. I call her the Queen Lizard. He sounds just exactly like her. He doesn't sound

a little bit like that. He sounds exactly like that. Holy shit. I'm having a little party over at my apartment. Now I can't envision anybody else though. Except for Rick Moranis. You should come to my party at my apartment. With really high-waisted pants. Right.

Is that why they had the emergency meeting at Buckingham Palace? Yes. And the word will come out soon. I'm not 100% sure of it, but I believe the Queen Lizard is dead. The cover story is that the Duke of Edinburgh. Are you guys fucking kidding me right now? The Queen Lizard. Well, the cover story, the Buckingham Palace, the Duke of whatever the fuck it is.

None of these people matter at all. It wouldn't matter if the queen was a lizard. Who would care? She's a pointless figurehead. Fucking Bob Rubber, whatever, has to walk around protecting her. I forgot about Bob Rubber

with his stick. He has to knock on the door ceremonially every time I hear have you ever seen that movie the Clint Eastwood movie Unforgiven is that the movie I'm thinking of that's when it gets

yeah yeah yeah so there's a guy in there called the Duke of Death and this guy keeps calling him the Duck of Death because he reads it. And the thing is like, Duck of Death. He's like, Duke, Duke. And he's like, I says, Duck. Every time I hear Duke as a real title, I'm always like, it's a duck.

Well, if it's a swan, the queen would own him. And Bub Rub would hit it with a stick. Retired. But that sounded unusual. Why an emergency meeting? Why were the queen's personal staff from throughout the nation called? Well, maybe they were trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. It's really easy. Her heat lamp went out.

She needed somebody to change the ball. Quickly get to Buckingham Palace. I think the Duke made his announcement because he wanted to get out of Dodge. So he had an emergency meeting at Buckingham Palace? Why was he even in Dodge? I don't understand. Seems like really far away from Buckingham Palace. Right? The Satanists are on the run.

The Queen Lizard is a Satanist. This is amazing. Is this David Icke? No, this guy's on crack. No, David Icke's a Brit. So you would hear a British accent. This guy's clearly an's on crack. No, David, David likes a Brit. So you would hear a British accent. This guy's clearly a idiot. American.

There are lots and lots of missing children at Buckingham Palace from the tours. Diana was killed. I mean, murdered because she was on the verge of revealing some of the Satanism and some of the lizard stuff. Seriously, he is an Ike mouthpiece. This is straight from The Biggest Secret. He believes that and somebody else is interviewing him about it. He's a secondhand Ike source. He's an Ike-alite.

He's a secondhand Ike source. He's an Ike-a-lite. These are very sick people, and they not all human. And they not all human. They not all human. They not all human. I'm really proud of his first words but something very big is going on because Rockefeller's dead

Rockefeller Rockefeller we're going to spend a lot of time on this Tom if you're correcting every moment of this because this guy he's on fucking 12 oxycontins I'll settle down

I'll hold myself to the most egregious misspeakings. Misspokenages. It looks like the queen lizard is dead. I know. And we might have a movement where the protection at a high level from exposure of the Satanists is going away. Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You've got to let me have that one. Hold on. I kind of want to hear the whole sentence again. We might have a movement where the protection at a high level from exposure of the Satanists is going away. From exposure of the Satanists is going away. The protection. From exposure of the Satanists is going away.

That's just a really poorly constructed sentence. But what he means to say is the protection from the Satanists is going away from exposure. That's what he means to say. I can't. I can't. I can't. From exposure to. Exposure to the world. I can't. I can't. From exposure to... Exposure to the world. Oh, God.

Exposure just like everybody knows this is happening, Tom. Oh, God. Get with the times. I'm sorry. This hurts my soul. And there are a couple more key members who might possibly find their spot six to ten feet under. And that's Bill Clinton and Papa Bush. Papa Bush is in a fucking wheelchair. Half his fucking face is slack at this point.

That dude's dying tomorrow and no one would fucking blink an eye. Both of those guys are super old at this point. Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton's still in good shape. I could, I would, you know, I'd be a little shocked if Bill Clinton died tomorrow. I wouldn't be.

I mean, like when you're in your seventies, sometimes your heart's just like, I'm done, and then that's it. That's just how it is. And with you, sometimes when you're in your 50s... Oh, I won't make it to my 50s. You really think I'll make it to my 50s?

It's wistful, though. I'd like to make it out of my 30s. Good luck. That's in less than a year. I believe Bill Clinton is far more sick and at death's door than Papa Bush, who's got something like a kidney infection. You know, at the age of 93 or 94, that can be very serious. At the age of 93 or 94, a paper cut is basically an atomic weapon. Eating pancakes can be dangerous.

Are you kidding me? A three-ish step can be dangerous at 94. 94? At 94, if he gets an infection, that could do him in. Oh, thank you, Dr. Rick. Are you fucking kidding me? Dropping the remote is dangerous.

From the consequences, and it's like a chain reaction that gets out of control. Uh-oh, looks like we can't save him. One thing led to another. But Bill Clinton, I think, is dying from some form of very advanced venereal disease. Of course he is. It's actually a sentient venereal disease. Of course he is. It's actually a sentient venereal disease. Of course he is. Of course. You look down at your cock and it's like,

feed me, Seymour. It's a very advanced venereal disease. It scored very high on the SATs. You're like flipping raisins up in the air and your fucking trunk is catching them. As you walk through any supermarket, it's like moving in your pants like a sniffer dog.

It's got all kinds of tricks it can do. It's fucking amazing. A very advanced venereal... Oh, remember that terminal venereal disease? Like other than AIDS? I just thought... Why would you just say he has AIDS? Like, nobody dies of fucking syphilis anymore.

Like, we're done doing that. That's not a thing anymore. Yeah. Nobody dies of the fucking clap, right? Like, oh, my dick's all goopy and weird. I die. Like, what? I hear about syphilis, but there could be something far more.

Oh, gosh, I don't want to get into the topic of cannibalism. Pastor Rick, but these people are really, really sick. I mean, mentally deranged and very far gone as as to the norms of society. And there are some mental diseases that are very pernicious that seem to happen from cannibalism. Yeah. I mean, yeah, there are diseases that can like there's basically like that. It's like mad cow. Yeah. But it's mad poop. Mad. Yeah. it's like mad cow right yeah but it's mad poop mad people it's like mad people disease that's why i when i i only eat happy people or at least when i'm eating someone i'm trying to make it only the brain is it eating the brain that causes it or

something yeah it's yeah so you just don't eat the brain like stay away from the brain no just take don't tell me how to eat people just eat a a wing. You'll be fine. I'm not looking for advice. Eat a breast. Good stuff. And it could be that Bill Clinton has got a little bit of that. And so did Hillary, who I believe is dead. I believe he's dead. She's just dead. I believe he's dead. She's just dead. I believe he's dead.

Yeah. And I don't know why because nobody mentioned that ever. He's not even having a funeral for her or anything. Nobody's like, whatever. She had just very recently run for president. And like tweet a selfie.

That's amazing. You know? Oh, God. You do? run for president and like tweet a selfie you know oh god you do even rick wiles the fuck rick wiles is like look i'll believe in anything i'm totally on board with the clintons

eating babies and blood i'm fine with that eating other human beings killing them for the life essence. I am fucking, we are simpatico. I fucking agree wholeheartedly. But the fuck? Yeah, I think she's dead.

That's the best thing I've ever heard. The very best part about this, Tom, is that this is Rick Wilde, or this is David Icke's book spouted off by a person who thinks it's a thing. Oh, yeah. This is verbatim. This person's a treasure. This person is like a national treasure. I love the

this man has a piece of my heart I'll never get back. Who is this person? We gotta find out. Financial analyst is even in quotes. Jim Willie of goldenjackass.com. I think on 9-11, she had a very serious incident and did not recover

from it. And I believe that because I made it up. And then what did she do after 9-11? She had like three debates. What did they fucking weekend at Bernie'sie's i bet he's gonna say that they had a stand-in no they had a sophisticated pulley system that's what they had they actually had a series of cockroach people that live inside of her body come on on the third debate if you think that was hillary you got rocks in your head. You got nothing in your head.

Wait, I thought you said I have rocks in my head. A moment ago, I had rocks. That was a 45 to 50 year old woman posing as a wrinkled 70 year old Hillary. Are you kidding me? I'm not stupid. Strong disagree. so we want to thank our patrons alex eric robert paul ashley andrew dale soul jim stephen mattman kiwi zombie kiki and. Thanks for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. We appreciate all our patrons, of course,

and we genuinely appreciate people giving us their hard-earned dollar. We're going to cover a little bit of email here. We have a few emails we'd like to get to. One we missed early on in the month that we

wound up not playing, and it was from Elvis. early on in the month that we wound up not playing and it was from Elvis. So I want to play this now. This is something that we missed earlier. Elvis, sorry. It wound up getting moved around and we missed it,

but this was from early May. He had made a little song for us. He did. Let's get up from the movie. Let's get up from the movie. Let's get up from the movie and suck's get up from the movie. Let's get up from the movie and suck ourselves some dick. That's a shining moment.

It is a shining moment. So we got a message from George and George said that their partner was accepted in a master's degree program at Purdue. And over the past month, they've been ecstatic

because they can finally leave Mississippi. And then they started to realize that they're moving to Indiana. Purdue, although Lafayette is not a terrible town. Lafayette is not awful. It could be worse. You could be in a much worse town than Lafayette. Lafayette, Indianapolis, those are...

They're okay-ish. They're okay-ish. The thing is too, you're within driving distance of civilization at that point. Absolutely. Lafayette is not terribly far away from Chicago or Champaign, I guess. I don't know. I mean, Champaign's

a garbage city too. Yeah, but you can day trip to Chicago. It'd be a long day. You could day trip to Chicago and back. It's a fine day. A couple hours. It's two hours one way. No problem. You could easily do that. Got a message. This is from John. And John

said they were listening to 358 and they really liked our conversation about transgender people and kids, but they said what age do you guys think is the right age for transition to happen?

And I threw up my hands and said, I didn't know, but Tom, you actually had a really good idea of how to figure this out. Yeah. I think throw them in the water. And if they float, they float,

then they're a boy. I think what's important here is that not every kid is the same person, right? So you have to treat people individually. There's no one answer, is my initial thought, is there's no one answer called, oh, that age is seven or that age is 13 or that age is 20. Like, that's not a thing. And I think, you know, really what you would want to do is consult people who are experts in gender identity,

psychologists and others that can help, you know, evaluate you and your child and your family and the readiness for this transition and make sure that they're, you know, everybody's thinking this through as carefully as possible and taking into account the developmental age and attitudes of the child and then, you know, the impact on the child and the family and just, you know, walk through it that way. I don't think there's like an answer to that question. The answer is not, oh, it's 14. Right. It's not like that. I think it's very individualistic and your responsibility is to engage experts in this field and follow the advice of the experts that are in this field and the advice of your knowledge

about your own family and your child. Yeah. And I agree. It's something I hadn't really thought of when I heard it. I was like, I don't know. I'm not a parent. I would have no idea how to even approach this,

but that's a great way, I think, to approach it. And one way to find good psychologists and people that'll talk you through this process is go to the American Family Institute. They are... Kidding. Kidding. Kidding. We got another little song.

We did. This one is sent to us from either Milardo or Mi-yard-o. I'm not sure. My-lard-o. My-lard-o. This is a little piece of Trump. 222. 222.

Wrong. Wrong. 222. 222. Wrong. No, I didn't say that at all. I don't think you understood what was said that's fucking awesome

hilarious we got a message from Matt and this is Matt from Jake Land and he was talking about how he used to work on the automated

ice cream gear that fills Neapolitan ice cream. Yeah. I like what he says. He says, I spent years working on the automated ice cream gear, including the robot fillers that make the Neapolitan. The fact that you can simultaneously fill a tub with three flavors with no mixing is pretty damn amazing. It's done that way to scoop across. I didn't spend all that time tuning that fucker so you could just pick out one flavor.

That's more annoying than my kids picking the bits out of a meal that they think they won't like. Bullshit, bullshit. Here's the thing. I would never buy that garbage anyway, but if you had it at your house, Matt, and you served me that garbage ice cream at your house,

I would pick that fucking whatever I wanted out of it, whatever I serve me that garbage ice cream at your house, I would pick that fucking whatever I wanted out of it. Whatever I felt like that day. If I'm a vanilla day, it's a vanilla day. If it's a chocolate day, it's a chocolate day. The strawberry goes in the garbage. Strawberry goes in the garbage. I've never had, I take that back.

There are good strawberry ice creams out there, but none I would ever be like, oh, well, I'll just get Neapolitan. Like I've never occurred to me. I just buy strawberry, like a good strawberry ice creams out there, but none I would ever be like, oh, well, I'll just get Neapolitan. I've never occurred to me. I just buy a good strawberry ice cream if that was the case. I think every time from now on that I have you to my home for dessert, we're going to have, which I'm just going to have Neapolitan ice cream. You should.

And what you serve me, if it's scooped across, I will go to your fridge and I will scoop what I want out of it. I'm going to scoop your ice cream and throw the rest of it. What you're going to do is you're going to scoop two for you and then you're going to give everybody else one. You've been trumped. I will say this, though.

He says, Cecil, you are correct. The chocolate is shit quality. When they turn the machines on, they put the first few minutes of ice cream into buckets until the consistency is right, depending on the speed of the machine. The stuff costs money, so the vanilla that goes in those buckets is repasteurized in the next few days and

mixed into the strawberry or banana or whatever. All the flavors except for the mint get reworked into the strawberry. They just keep adding more chocolate until you can't taste the other flavors. That doesn't bother. That actually doesn't surprise me at all. It's all ice cream.

You just add more flavoring. Yeah. We got a message from Kyle. And Kyle said that they're working on a master's level paper on the importance of scientific discernment in nursing theory. And they are going to put the phrase in, credulity is not a virtue. That cracks me up. That's great. That's awesome. We got a long message from Matt. And Matt is from Australia. He was up in Michigan.

He had a really difficult trip here with sick relatives. And, and we just want to let you know, Matt, we read your, your message. We're sorry. We didn't get a chance to hang out with you.

We know that we had invited you to, to glory hole studios, but maybe we'll get a chance to see you when we, when we go down to Australia. Uh, we were just announced. Yeah. So skepticon Australia is going to be happening in November and we're

heading down. So hopefully, I don't know if you're going to be there, but it's in Sydney. Maybe we'll get a chance to meet you there. Yeah. Got a message, uh,

from David and David said, uh, that he was guessing that I stayed at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park. Says we've stayed there and taken the tour and had the same vortex explanation

for the slight draft near the stairwell. It wasn't just that they were saying the vortex. They were saying, okay, so the fucking hotel has no goddamn air conditioning, which is ridiculous in my opinion. But there's no, and we had the windows open in this fucking hotel all goddamn night long. It was, I woke up in the morning. It was 39 degrees out when we did our run up there.

It was 39 degrees. I had the windows fucking baller, wide open, as fucking wide open as you can get. I mean, we're talking about tie baller wide open as fucking wide open as you can get. I mean, we're talking about tie hooker wide open. Fucking ceiling fan on full blast. And I was sweating through the covers. Jesus, man. It's just the fucking though. There was no way that the fucking air.

Shitty air. Just shitty airflow. Just a terrible, shitty old. Wait a minute. Did you turn the vortex on? Problem was, is I think that there was the whole time there was a ghost just standing there by the window going making sure it was like really warm in there but anyway um they said the same thing they said oh yeah this building stays cool because this vortex here and this is also a spiritual vortex you shut the fuck up the first off the

building doesn't stay cool the building's hot hot as fucking hell. That's number one. Number two, kill yourself. We finally got an image. This image is from Aaron. It's so funny. It's a great image. It was totally, it's great. Make America great again.

That's all I say. So take a look at this image. It will be on this episode, show notes 360. So we're gonna make a plea one final time. If you haven't checked out Citation Needed, you can find it on iTunes. You can find it probably,

hopefully by now on Monday on Stitcher. You can find it through all your pod catchers. Google Play Music has it. Find it, download it. If you are on an Apple thing, please download it on your Apple device and leave a review on iTunes if you can. We'd really love to hit in a new and noteworthy with citation needed. We really do think the audience will like it. So if you have an opportunity to get a chance to listen to it, we really do think that you will enjoy it. So take a listen. We don't think you'll regret it.

That's going to be it for this week, though. We're going to wrap it up and we're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, freeidal-Free-Energy-Healing-Water-Downward-Spiral-Brain-Dead-Pan-Sales-Pitch-Late-Night-Info-Docutainment. crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.

Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC.

Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. you