Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 365: Citation Needed

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

Secular Saturday Convention:  Citation Needed Contact:    

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in Chicago, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way. We bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at this is episode 365 you can listen to one episode every day for a year no kidding i know we've never been able to say that if you hate your life that much you can have an anniversary and that feels like this and speaking of

feeling sick to your stomach thinking about things we, we are joined by Noah Heath and Eli from the scathing atheist, God, awful movies, skeptocrat. And Oh, incidentally here to tell us about your new project citation needed. Yeah. That was the handoff. That was the hand guys, your professionals, motherfuckers. That was the handoff. was the hand guys you're professionals motherfuckers that was the handoff there's a short pregnant pause then you jump in don't all jump at once ready to jump in thank you tom you could listen to citation needed like 36 times a day for a year and it's just like you guys said same thing thing. I have a blog too. No one mentioned my blog.

I'm sitting here thinking about No pet projects. You're leaving out 25% of the years with this bullshit. I mean, you know, still doing the math on this. So guys, you have a new show. I hear really good things about it.

It's kind of the buzz of the internet now. Serial, look out. Citation needed. Why did you guys decide to start this show? We figured with the three podcasts there, we were getting a little heavy on the free time. So we decided to do away with that shit. But also, and I noticed you guys are so humble,

you're not going to mention that, you know, the two of you are also part of that show. We are? Wait a minute. You didn't even tell me, Cecil. Yeah, we were springing it on you on a late date. Have I done a good job so far? You've done a terrible job.

Cecil puts you in in post. It's cool. It's all just clips of me saying this. It's all clips of Tom ordering food. That's my whole life. What are you eating right now? I just had some dark chocolate a few minutes ago. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you a pregnant

woman? And that's what our show is about, Cecil. Thanks for asking. I just had some dark chocolate. Says the man whose new haircut makes him look like Gollum. Yeah, I feel terrible about myself. Later on, I'm going to have a macaron and relive some memories.

I like my dark chocolate and my red wine at night. Fuck you. Gollum who eats a lot of bread with his fish. Yeah. Breads is potatoes. Boil a mash and stick a bit of soup. We do not

like cardio. We try counting calories. We try antidepressants slows down the metabolism. Oh my God, that was your mom's big bones, wasn't it? That was what she told you. She's like, no, no, the

medication's slowing down your metabolism, honey, that's all it is. And you've got this great personality. You're so funny. Let's head back over to the husky section. It'll be alright. Oh, the husky

section. I think that's where we first met. Keith, you remember the husky section as a kid, huh? I grew up in the husky section. And you do like a black guy head nod with the other fat kid Keith, you remember the husky section as a kid? I grew up in the husky section. Yep. And you do like a black guy head nod with the other fat kid. He's sitting there.

Mom trying to fit you into the jeans all 40 years out of date. And you just be like, what's up, man? You hide candy too? And he'd be like, I do hide candy too. Do you have something with a little more room in the seat? Yeah, alright. God damn it. Oh, it's a relaxed fit.

Oh yeah, it's for fat people. I'll take that. I'm going to need that for sure. Do you have something in a really, just like an exhausted fit? Just like really fucking tired fit that I would get into? I've got a chronic fatigue syndrome. No Lyme disease fit. Seasonal affective disorder. It was a sad area of the Husky section.

Did you just say hostess? I don't know. It just says hostess. Tell us about your show. Fat kids are funny. So yeah, that's our new show. Next week we're doing fat kids. I call it.

Childhood obesity probably has an article, right? Yeah, I'm sure. It does. I'm writing that essay. I want to write that essay so bad. The thing is, you write that one and then you write the Michelle Obama one and they cancel each other out.

It's like you didn't even do it. It's like the Obama presidency and the Trump presidency Got it Exactly If they cancelled I would be psyched Yeah right If that's the best thing that happens We just reset to W

I'll take it Oh 9-11 just happens And the economy's all shit It'd be phenomenal I would take another 9-11 To get rid of Trump just happens and the economy's all shit this is phenomenal I would take another 9-11 to get rid of Trump if you're saying I could rewind and there's just a second

9-11 and I live in New York now so I get to be like it was really terrible you don't even know I was 150 blocks away and I could see You don't even know. I was 150 blocks away and I could see that people were unhappy.

Do you have any more questions? Ready? Is that it? We haven't even explained the show yet. Yeah, basically, I mean, it's the outgrowth of the fact that we wanted to do a show together. Tom wanted to make sure that any damn thing that came into his head could be a part of the show. And I wanted it to be structured.

And this was sort of the only way we could find that happy medium, I think. So every week it's about something different. And it never stays on track for more than about two minutes at a time. But we have a lot of fun. And and so far we've got about seven listeners so if you want to yeah yeah double it up exactly fuck you david smalley that's twice twice we have seven listeners there's five hosts it's not even all our significant others. It's not good. Well, hey, I have two living parents here.

I think I'm doing my part. Weird, braggy thing to say out of nowhere. Just like, ooh, two parents. I have hair that makes me look like I'm not real, real sick. I have two parents. I'm Noah. Look at me.

I look the way Noah probably is. That's how bad this new haircut is right now, guys. If you want to see what Eli looks like, I will put his picture in the show notes. This is episode 365. So you get a chance.

If you're trying to get rid of all your listeners, too, check out Eli's photo. It's going to be great. It's interesting that Eli looks like that, and we've done two episodes about radiation poisoning. I'm just saying I'm not sure these are related, but they're definitely not related. I'm sorry for being method. I want to do an episode on Eli Bosnick now on Citation. That would be fun.

Nope, not on Wikipedia. We can do one on Marsh. He's got his own wiki page. I can get a Wikipedia. I could do it now. I could do one on Marsh. He's got his own wiki page. I can get a Wikipedia. I could do it now. I could get one right now. I'll get one before this episode. David Smalley has one.

Maybe we do one on there. Does he really? I'll kill myself. That's been done to death. So guys, you guys have a live tour that you're doing for GAM, right? We got a show coming up on July 8th in Seattle, which we're very excited about.

We got a show in August. No, we don't. No. We have a show in September. We have a show in September. Episode number 362. We got an episode in September in Austin. That's the next one, yep.

And then one in October in Salt Lake City with the guys from Thank God I'm an Atheist. Thank God I'm Atheist. Oh, how awesome is that? That'll be so much fun. Yeah, and they would probably want me to point out that the name of their show is Thank God I'm Atheist. I corrected it.

Oh, there you go. Cecil did that in post? Yeah. Okay, awesome. Yeah, I just cut Eli out on the thing. It's pretty easy. That fixes so much. Are you going to pick up a couple extra bonnet wives while you're out there?

Like when you're in the Utahs? Absolutely. Some ex-Mormon girls. Marshmallow squares and mad at their dad. Yes, please. So guys, if people were going to find your stuff, where would they look? Almost anywhere. No, you can check us out

at ScathingAtheist.com or look for us on iTunes, Stitcher, all of that stuff. Scathing Atheist, Citation Needed, God Awful Movies, and The Skeptocrat. And Eli has a blog. And don't look for Citation Needed on Stitcher because you won't find it there. You will not find it on Stitcher. You can look for it. And don't let for citation needed on Stitcher because you won't find it there.

You will not find it on Stitcher. You can look for it. I mean... And don't get your podcasts on Stitcher. They're a delightful streaming service. They just happen not to have us on yet. It's fine. Thanks for joining us, guys.

Thanks for coming in. Thanks for having us, man. Snarky email. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in san francisco this kind of nonsense then it's going to be spreading across the entire fruited plain and you're going to be going to your burger king in des moines iowa and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your whopper so this story comes from the friendly atheist blog and i just i just love the video for this

story so much i think we should just love the video for this story so much. I think we should just play the video and just let it play. Well, let me just introduce the title. Gay Men's Chorus Drowns Out Christian Bigots During Knoxville Pride Festival. Now, you're not going to be able to see. So I do want to set the stage a little bit. Sure, sure. There are like seven dudes tops.

Yeah. Like tops. Tops. With their like homosexist sin sign and all that stupid shit. Right. And there's like

70. Yeah. Gay men's chorus. At least. Right. I mean, it's a huge, huge circle.

And I got to tell you, it would be intimidating to be in the side, inside that and good. Yeah. And they sing at them and it's beautiful

and we should just play it. And I think what's great about this, and you're going to hear the people screaming out at the chorus throughout, you can hear their voices, but they sound so weak. Yeah. They sound so,

they just don't have that conviction, right? You can hear them saying the words, but they're being drowned out by a beautiful song, right? You're just like, sorry, you shall overcome someday We shall live in peace We shall live in peace We shall live in peace We shall live in peace someday.

Oh, deep in my heart, how do we believe? We shall live in peace someday. We'll walk past. We'll walk past. So what happens at the end and the people clapping is, is that a young lady walks out and sits right in, in between these two, like literally two or three guys that have their stupid signs, like homos go to hell or whatever,

and sits down right in front of them. And then a bunch of people just start coming out. It's just so great. Totally. You know, what's wonderful about these things is they are totally unintimidated, right? Like the tables have turned culturally. Yeah. They are totally unintimidated by this fucking nonsense.

Yeah. And so these idiots show up and instead of being like the majority, you know, and I think that a huge part of the backlash comes from them just being totally baffled. Yeah. That they're not in the majority anymore. Yeah. You know, and they're just like, where are all my other big buddies? Where are my buddies that would stand up next to me?

And those people are gone. They're gone. They're just not there. And they walk, like that girl sits down and the guys walk away. Yeah. She is a little wisp of a thing. Yeah. And they just like, sorry. And they're just like,

I gotta go. It's awesome. Can't do this. It's awesome. Love the song Choice 2. The song itself, I've heard this at rallies at different places. And what I love about that song is it's not about sort of the force of the march and us wearing your face. It's just like

what it's telling is a story of a long battle. Yeah. And it's like, you it's telling is a story of a long battle. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's not tomorrow. They're not saying we've won. They're saying we shall overcome.

I love that. I love that song. I think that's a perfect song for them singing that song together and also co-opting a gospel song too. Right. You know what I mean? Like it's a gospel song. It's super peaceful

you see them they're just standing in a circle yeah they're just they're standing in a circle not being into they're not being intimidating yeah but what they are is not being intimidated exactly you know you don't want us here that's all right well we're still here yeah and you might notice there's a lot more of us and we sound amazing it's sort sort of like, it's fabulous over here on the right side of history. Exactly. What makes you think she's a witch? Well, she turned me into a newt.

A newt. I got better. Burn already! All right. So this story is from Worcestershire Sire Sauce I got better. Burn already! Burn already! All right. So this story is from Worcestershire Sire Sauce Live. What is it? What is it?

Isn't that... That's what it says, right? Isn't this like... Worcestershire. Gloucester? Isn't that... You're not pronouncing it right. You got it. I want a real pronunciation.

Hold on, though. Come on. I think Gloucester is when your eyes go milky. Isn't that what that is? Yeah, and you put in the Gloucester drops. No. And you use Worcestershire sauce. It's like a cataract, right?

A Gloucester. Isn't that what that is? You smoke weed and it helps with the Gloucestershire sauce. Gloucestershire. Is it Gloucesters? Gloucesters. Gloucieres. Is it Glouster? Is that how they pronounce it?

I think it's Gloureshire. Gloureshire. Gloureshire. I love it. No, it's Gloucestershire. Glouchester. What do they say, Tom? Gloucester?

Do they say Glouster? Oh, I have no idea. I have no idea. I think they say Glouster. Based on the video, they don't speak English whatsoever. I think they say Gloucester? Do they say Gloucester? Oh, I have no idea. I think they say Gloucester. Based on the video, they don't speak English whatsoever. I think they say Gloucester. They sound like guttural Rottweilers. Hacking up a chicken bone.

And the Rottweilers doing that back pedal where it's like stepping backwards as it's doing it. It's like one paw in front of the other. And its whole body's doing that sort pedal where it's like stepping backwards as it's doing it. It's like one paw in front of the other and its whole body's doing that sort of shake where it's like... It sounds like somebody's hitting the side of like a bucket. We're just like... It's amazing.

Animals vomiting is something else, man. You know what's crazy? I have a little dog and he vomits and then he looks at you and i swear to god he smiles and then he looks at you like if that happened to me i'd be like fuck i'm done all week like i am i'm thinking the week off some shit has happened and he's like well yeah i'm good now and he was like how are you good now fucking your entire body turned inside out you know are you fucking kidding me

a buddy of ours used to have a cat that would start to throw up and scare itself and then start running because it would be like it would start throwing up and then be like oh fuck I'm throwing up and it just would run as fast as it can and puke would fly out of its mouth as it would run around the house and he said whenever you'd want to clean up after that

cat it was the worst because it basically Jackson Pollock your whole place with vomit. It's the worst cat to have. Kill that cat. Oh, God. Anyway, Glaucus. I'm just saying,

these guys do sound like a Rottweiler that somebody, a German Rottweiler speaking Klingon. That's how bad. It's like the most guttural language, the most guttural language. Exorcisms, egging, and abuse, and alliteration, you clever, clever headline writer. you clever, clever headline writer. Gluck, which appeals for more tolerance after nine-year hate crime campaign from Christian fanatics.

I got to say, both of these ladies look like the lady who watches the shop on American Pickers. They do. They do. They do. They do. They do.

They also look fucking identical. It's like mother and daughter or some shit. Yeah. They look like, you know, like mother and daughter or some shit. They look like, oh, they look just like your mom. No, you look exactly, exactly like your mother, just paler somehow. Well, one got a little more sun throughout the years. And they couldn't look much more like witches either. Let me just say.

Well, that's true. I guess they do kind of look like witches. Let me just say. Well, that's true. I guess they do kind of look like witches. But, I mean, for them to, it looks like they're really going through a lot of shit for it. Oh, yeah, it's great. You know, a nine-year campaign of abuse.

Jesus. At some point, I almost admire the dedication to it. That's like Hillary Clinton long. You know what I mean? God. Are they both with her? I love this picture. down scroll down look at this

this is a mothman right that's the mothman it's the woman so this woman i guess did some things to them like vandalize their place and they're looking for this woman but but isn't it isn't it amazing that this woman so the woman who vandalized their shit they've got a picture of her and she looks like a witch in the picture everybody looks like a witch in blue screen she looks scary though look at that that's a scary picture if you took my that actually kind of looks like no illusions now i look at it that's why i said it's a scary picture look at that it's not healthy that's not a hue that's what you look like two hours after you've died that's exact

hue of your skin what do you think about you know i mean we see a lot of this uh it's if it's not christian it's crap stuff yeah and this happens all the time in the states um where people will you know push for you know be like, oh, we want prayers in schools. And then, well, they don't want. Well, I'll bring a pagan prayer. No, no, no. What we don't we don't want that. Right.

You know, and the same thing is going on here. It's like, you know, we just don't want we just don't want your weird religion here. Yeah. You know, the the trouble with this, right, is the trouble with religiosity in general. You read this article and it's like, they're all mutually exclusive of each other. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And so there is no room and that's... They're all atheists of each other.

Right? Right. And I know that there's that, you know, there's kind of this broader sort of movement for, you know, interfaith inclusion, right? There's a word for it. I can't remember what the fucking word for it is. But that idea of interfaith... But right? There's a word for it. I can't remember what the fucking word for it is. But that idea of interfaith,

but it's kind of a bullshit idea. It really kind of is because all these religions are mutually exclusive of one another. They all at their core as a fundamental tenant of their core belief system, they all think, hey, I know how the world works

and it looks like this. I think the only way for those to coexist that, you know, perfect example, the coexist sticker right on the cars. The only way for these religions to coexist is to throw them in the washing machine for so long that they lose all their essential parts. Yeah, right. Right. You have to, they have to be, they have to be fundamentally, I don't want to use fundamentally because I'm going to use it in a second. They have to be all less fundamental than the original religion by a long stretch so that they can all get to the one thing or two things or three things that they kind of all sort of sort of agree on. And then they all sort of say, okay, cool. But you have to be such a diet religion person for these to work in

conjunction right you can't be there's no way you're gonna get a hard straight up 6 000 year old world can ham yeah meet up with a uh you know a hardline muslim and then a you know a heart like one of those jews with the braids and then uh and the boxes all over the box weirdlim and then a you know a heart like one of those jews with the braids and then and the boxes all over yeah boxes weird boxes and then a hindu that wants to kill everybody looks at a fucking steak you can't put all those people in the same room well you can but they want it yeah exactly that's a thunderdome right put them in you don't put them in a race you don't put them in a conference room you put them all in a room they're not going to be like you know we just we just discovered everything we have in common yeah you put them in a room, they're not going to be like, you know, we just discovered everything we have in common. Yeah, you put them in a room. We all like Neapolitan scooped across.

Yeah, it's an octagon. That's what you put them in. Yeah, a caged octagon. And they don't scoop across. You monster. What's wrong with you? Okay, so what do you need? This is a miracle.

Guns. Lots of guns. Okay, no, wait, no. Tom. Yes, sir? okay no wait no tom yes sir we are only going to talk about what he says not how he says it what he says not how he says you can introduce the story now can i talk about how he says it he says how about how about the manner in which he utters his utterances let me reiterate i am in trouble before we've begun. What? This happens, so...

What he says. I want to talk a little bit about this, guys, because this happens behind the scenes more than you guys know, not just on this show, but in our friendship. That's not true. I can't tell you how many times...

It's not once or twice. How many times season I will be doing something and I will get a i will get a no we go to this place you are not allowed that's not to be that's accurate that's accurate that's accurate it's it's everything short of pretend you're a better person no grabbing dick's tongue it's like you'll be what? I only did that like seven times. What? Good.

You're like the kid from Napoleon. I don't know. Good. Then you just go to your room. There have been times where it's like, I don't know that I want to go anymore. All right. So I will not comment, Cecil.

I won't. I won't because... No, I'm right here. Okay. I'm hearing you. Jesse Lee Peterson. Just saying. No, yeah.

Democrats praying for Representative Steve Scalise are Satan's spawn. Look at his face. I want to comment Democrats praying for Representative Steve Scalise Our Satan spawn I want to comment That he chose the picture Behind him You know when you freeze frame An image of like a video still or whatever And you catch somebody in like a crazy position

Their face is all like Fucking contorted That's the picture he chose Like he chose a picture That the rest of us would be like, no, fuck, advanced frame, advanced frame. That's his chosen picture. All right. So Satan spawned. All right.

So this is. Here we go. This is Jesse Lee Peterson. Pay attention only to what he says. But the Republicans are so weak, they think they're being nice. Oh, we got to come together. We got it all. Wait, all the Republicans are all like doing the soggy biscuit game.

We got to come together, guys. Hey, don't rush. Don't rush. Joe's going to. It's a Bukkake. Come on now. We all got to come together here. I'm not even there.

Oh, Jesus. Jesus. All right. Fucking Carter, whatever. Way to go, Trent Lott. Mitch McConnell's still trying to unsheathe it. Because he's like a turtle, Todd. So the bottom half has got to be like a turtle, too.

Hey, we all just get along? And now that this has happened, you need to cut back. The Democrats, that doesn't mean... Cut back on what? Just cut back in general? I don't know. Cut back. Wasn't that a Rodney King line?

Can't we all just get along? Can't we all just get along is what Rodney King said. Yeah. That's a weird throwback. I know, right? The weak Philando Castile. The weak Philando Castile's murderer gets to walk the streets.

And then we're just going to go ahead and throw back to... Yeah. I can't wait to get the email on that one. Oh, just send it. Just address it right to Cecil because I don't even want to read it. Address it to Megan. Yeah. What do you think of that, Castiel? What do you think of that?

That the guy just got off? Like, it's fucking insane. Did you watch the video? Yeah. Like, it's fucking insane. Yeah. Like, it's fucking insane. How is it that, I mean, like, there's nobody in the world that can get away with being that bad at their job right

yeah right if if that I don't understand I I just I don't understand we have this like we we do a thing generally I'm going to speak more broadly we do a thing generally with cops where we say like if you were afraid or you or you could say that you were afraid or fear was involved at all, or then everything, everything that follows that is justified. And that's a really, that's a really scary road to go down, right? Because there are a lot of jobs where people might feel afraid, right? But they're still held to certain standards. feel afraid, right? But they're still held to certain standards. And now all of a sudden, the standard that the police officer is held to just kind of relaxes entirely.

There's an interesting article in the National Review, which is a Republican paper. And there's actually a lot of Republicans who are upset about this too, because he was perfectly legal to carry that gun. And there's a lot of people that are upset because the NRA really hasn't spoken about this and sort of the gun people are not really talking about this. And the National Review is one of these people that are really upset by this particular, this, what happened with Philando Castile and then his, the person who, the police officer who murdered him. And they were talking about this exact thing this you know all you have to do is say all they have to do to say in front of the jury is i was afraid yeah and read the testimony this guy he said something like i don't know if his testimony or if it was it was a

quote of his somewhere this guy made the comment that the cop made a comment about philando castile that said if if this person who I'm pulling over is so willing to possibly injure the little girl in the car with secondhand marijuana smoke, I have no idea what he's going to do to me. Now I'm paraphrasing, but it was very similar to that. That's just a crazy thing. It was very similar to that. So he was afraid for his life because he smelled pot smoke. for his life because he smelled pot smoke. You smell pot? Who pays attention to that?

A cop still. I mean, I know, but like what, you know, like what jury judge, who's listening to that and saying like, oh, that's entirely reasonable, right? But I think, I think that there, that everybody has this sympathy that, you know, they, they're allowed to do this. And the thing is, man, you know, there's been a dozen videos I've watched this week where white guys are reaching for guns and getting tackled by police and not getting shot. And there's, you know,

there's a picture of a white guy with an AR-15 on one shoulder and his hand on his gun and a cop just holding his hand out like this, like trying to stop him. Could you imagine there'd be 40 cops around a black guy? Remember that video of that guy with the fucking BB gun in the Walmart? And they fucking shot that guy like in the back.

Yeah. You remember that shit? Yeah, I do, yeah. He had a fucking BB gun in a Walmart. They sold the gun at Walmart. Yeah. He had a product for sales, a fucking BB gun. That guy didn't even fucking stand a chance.

Yeah. He didn't stand. He wasn't given a chance to stand. Yeah. You know, we can't have it both ways in this country, right? You can't have it both ways. You can't have this gun love culture where everybody, if you file the right paperwork and pay the right taxes, and let's not pretend it's anything more than that, can carry a gun around, right? All 50 states now have concealed

carry, which means that you don't have to do shit except for file some paperwork and pay a bunch of taxes. And maybe sit in a room. Maybe sit in a room. Yeah. But that's just an excuse to get your tax. Absolutely. Right?

That's all that is to get the filing fees and all the rest of that shit. That's a fucking joke. It is a fucking joke. So everybody can walk around and have a gun. And that lives over here. And we all love our fucking guns and we all want to have a fucking gun and strap them on our hip and carry them around. And everybody gets to be fucking dirty, hairy when they, you know, or at least have this fucking imaginative sort of masturbatory fantasy of their dirty hairiness. Right. And that lives on one side.

And when that and that's a true. Right. their dirty hairiness, right? And that lives on one side, and that's a true, right? And then on the other side is, you know, the cops have a sort of free reign to use discretionary lethal violence if they're at all threatened. Well, that is direct conflict with a gun culture, right? If it's not, then just the mere presence of a gun, which is perfectly legal and celebrated by a huge chunk of this population. It's not just legal.

It's celebrated. It's seen as a virtuous thing by a huge portion of the fucking Second Amendment fucking masturbators. It is seen as a hugely positive thing to carry a gun around, right? And at the same time,

just the presence of that gun is enough to fucking kill you. Not to carry a gun around. Absolutely. And at the same time, just the presence of that gun is enough to fucking kill you. Not to kill a person. These things are in direct conflict with each other. Yeah. But they're really only in conflict if you're poor and brown. If you're brown.

Because I'll tell you what, I don't think that would happen to me. You know, today I went to work. Today I went to work. I had a meeting downtown. So I woke up. I put on a nice suit. I'm a to work. I had a meeting downtown. So I woke up. I put on a nice suit. I'm a white guy.

I'm wearing nice clothes. I drive a nice car. If I had my gun on my hip and a cop pulled me over, I don't think there'd be any fucking hesitation. I don't think it would be an issue. I don't think I'd fear for my life at all. Not at all. fear for my life at all yeah not at all i think if i happen to be you know a black guy wearing jeans and a t-shirt in a you know 93 honda civic or something do i think i'd have a very different experience you're fucking right i think i'd have a very different experience yeah you would be but

i could but there's nothing different about the threat assessment right right i'm a guy with a gun he's a guy with a gun yeah in this case this guy was just a good dude i mean look at what what they tried to dig up stuff they couldn't find anything on this guy which and again and again they try to demonize the person after the fact and as if as if any of that has anything to do with anything literally only matters what happened in this particular tape all that matters about in that lethal force equation because a cop doesn't know that shit none of it he wasn't like he was taking that shit into consideration a cop doesn't know that shit. None of it. He wasn't like he was taking that shit into consideration, right? He doesn't know that shit when this happens. So all that matters is exactly what happened physically as it was occurring.

All this background bullshit that they tried to, well, you know, this person was a thug or a gangster or whatever. Maybe, maybe not. Literally makes no fucking difference whatsoever. It's only the interaction that you're currently having with that person. That's the only thing. Because otherwise you could just shoot people because they were scary before. Yeah. Well, they did some bad shit before.

So we can just send out these executioner squads to go round them up and kill them. Right. We don't allow that. That's absurd. Nobody's actually suggesting that. But embedded in that, like, well, let's find out if they were a bad guy after the fact or before the fact, unrelated to the incident, if that were relevant. Yeah. Which it's not.

The only way that that would be relevant is if it was OK to hurt people who were bad guys. this guy with all that hate speech, all the lies, all the blaming the president and how awful he is. He hate white blacks. He hate the homosexuals. They say he hate the blacks and he say he hate the gays. They say he hate little women and all that day in, day out, day in, day out. He's talking about the guy who attacked the congressman at the park. If you're not sure what the context is, and I know we mentioned it at the beginning, this was that Steve Scalise who got shot at

the park. It was by a liberal extremist. By someone who was clearly far left who was an extremist. They were...

Yeah. Yeah. The guy fucking... And he was far left. Absolutely. Absolutely far left. So there's no apologizing for that. Right.

Absolutely. He was far left. And now they're talking about, oh, we got to play the game, the baseball game, no matter what. going to play the game, the baseball game, no matter what. We're going to come together and play the game, have the game anyway. And then they show where the Democratic team, when they heard about the shooting, they were at another field practicing and they heard about the shooting. The first thing they want to do is hobble together and pray. Yeah, because I'll be honest,

I think it's a photo op. I think the reason why they do that is because they recognize that people are watching them at that moment. And so they just do it. They do those things. Whether you're religious or not, they do that at that time.

Yeah. That's why. No, I don't disagree with you. The thing is, what are you supposed to do? You're not going to be of any fucking use in that equation. Oh, there's a shooting over at that other field. The thing is, what are you supposed to do? You're not going to be of any fucking use in that equation. Oh, there's a shooting over at that other field.

Okay. Solidarity. What do you want me to fucking do about it? You want me to run over there and see if I can help fucking shoot that guy who's already dead? Are we taking pot shots at his corpse now? What the fuck? I thought I heard that they were saying that the people were immediately turning it in. The people who were shot at

were immediately turning it into a gun debate saying if we could have only returned fire. Yeah, you had said this. Yeah, yeah. There was a Republican guy that was interviewed

and he was on the team and he was like, well, you know, he immediately still, I mean, his voice was still shaking. So it clearly just happened and he was trying to turn it

into an opportunity to talk about, like, let's not take our guns away we should all have more guns because if you don't want to get shot you should definitely have more guns around be careful with your guns all this phony stuff this is not real what are the democrats praying for the democrats are not of god's way now he's saying their prayers don't count, right? Well, and didn't he just say like, oh, look at these people. They're lying about President Trump. And they're the reason why this guy went crazy is because they keep talking about they fed these lies to this guy about how bad President Trump is.

They've fed this violent rhetoric. What do you think saying somebody isn't of God is? Isn't that violent rhetoric? Well, it's judgy as fuck, I'll tell you that much. This is that no true Scotsmanship, right? Democrats are no true Christians. Yeah, that's what he's saying.

That's what he's saying. And all of a sudden, when Scalise gets shot, when they hear about the shooting, they got all the children of the Satan going to come together and pray. Please. Wait, again? Children of the Satan? Isn't that violent rhetoric?

I don't know, man, because if you were a Christian and you thought they were children, you'd say, no, you have an obligation to stop them. Don't you shoot the devil or whatever? I don't know, maybe a knife. Maybe you don't shoot the devil, you shout at the devil. I remember now. That's not real. And just because

everybody feels emotional about it, it doesn't make it real. Well, what do you mean by real? What does that even mean? I think he's saying it's not, they're not being, they're not legit Christians, and just because everybody's emotional about it doesn't make them legit Christians.

Wait a minute. I'm, I am actually confused. Is he suggesting that, that they are not being genuine, but they are still having genuine emotional reactions? No, he's saying the people that are on his side, because it's an emotional thing, you shouldn't think they're your friends just because they're praying. I think that's what he's saying. Right.

Isn't that? I don't know. Probably. I can't understand him. Because the words that he's using and the order he uses them are nonsensical. Not because the sound of his voice.

The sound of his voice is not hampering my comprehension whatsoever. I don't even want to talk about the sound of his voice. We shouldn't mention it. The Democrats don't love God. They can care less about God. Their father is Satan. and that's the reality.

Okay, can we talk about using Satan and reality in the same sense? I know, right? Democrats do not love God. Democrats are not about morality. They are not about love. They don't care about anything but politics and power. Are we talking about Democrats?

Wait. The people who are like pro-inclusion. Well, what I love is they only care about power. They're like, wait a second. Shouldn't they have some? Yeah. They don't have it currently. They're just like so bad at it. Not at all, actually.

That's all they care about, wealth and power. That's why they bring... Yeah, that Bernie Sanders. Oh my God, yeah. And his fucking like 86 Subaru or whatever the fucking guy's... He's still wearing his first suit. It's his dad's. Exactly, that's why it looks like it's hanging like a fucking...

Like it looks like it's hanging in the closet on this guy. He borrowed it for the fucking social back in fucking 1904 or whatever. Everything that they can into this country that's corrupt, that will cause confusion in the country. So-called same-sex marriage, transgender bathrooms, and everything that's bad. All those things are bad.

Those things are bad. Because they make me feel weird in my pants area. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content, including full patron-only shows?

Head to patreon.com forward slash dissonance pod and become a patron to support the show on a per episode basis. Love commercials? Not ready to become a patron? Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher. Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show.

We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. And in the same vein, this is Rick Wiles. Tom.

Yeah, this is Rick Wiles. The Democratic Party should be disbanded and liberal journalists should be rounded up. Oh. Because that's how america works okay here's rick we have been warning for months that the democrats are whipping up

a hysteria in this country not only the democrats but the republicans like john mccain yeah oh yes that john John McCain. That crazy radical John McCain. You fucking high. Yeah. He was your fucking party boys. Your poster boy. He was a handful of years ago. He was fucking, you know, that if he had won, Rick Wiles would have been fucking.

He would have had John McCain's cock fucking halfway down his fucking throat for four fucking years. Yeah. You know, that's true. Yeah. You know that's true. Yeah. And the idea that they're whipping people up, if you mean they're pointing out that there are ties, it looks like alleged ties right now between Trump and Russia and Trump's cabinet and Russia, that's not whipping people up.

That's just saying something. The current administration is a farce. It has become, and that's not just us being partisan. I don't understand. I really don't. I don't at all. I don't understand how you can look at what is going on just from a communications standpoint alone and be even remotely okay with this administration. I mean i not everyone's gonna get worked up about calvifife yeah i get that sure but press briefings where no microphones are allowed that's fucking super fucking that's weird super fucking weird uh this this uh the call me situation yeah uh where oh you better hope there's no tapes oh yeah it turns out i was

bluffing like you're bluffing You can't bluff about these things. And then Gingrich goes to bat and says, well, the president just doesn't know anything about anything. That was his excuse. He's just a businessman. He doesn't know anything about anything. He's not good at this job.

He's not good at it. He's not. Think about it. Think about if there's any other job that was like this. Imagine if you were an electrical engineer and before you, the day before you, you took your job as an electrical engineer, you were a bartender and you were a really good bartender. Sure.

And so when you went to work as an electrical engineer and then something was wrong, you were like, I don't know, spritz it with tonic water. See if that works. And then you did. And then it all caught on fire. Turns out that works with vaginas. Tonic water? Quinine. Quinine. Quinine.

You know, it was a little tangy last week, and now it's got a nice bitter edge to it. Hold on, I'm going to get a lime. I'll be right back. Get a lime! You know, once a month it's a Bloody Mary. You're like, you're like some blue cheese olives.

What you need to do is make one of those one crazy Bloody Marys where they have like a whole burger, like a whole chicken. It's a fucking pickled salad in this thing waiter it'd be like if you were a guy who worked a fucking um one of those diggers right one of those fucking arm digger thing. And you just, and you just cut into the ground and you fucking, you broke a bunch of pipes and, and the,

and they come out and like, what the fuck did you do? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. I don't know. Like we hold those people to higher standards. Like the people who use the arm thing,

I'm a higher standard than the president of the United States. How is that possible? What world am I living in? What is happening? How does that work? Stop and think about it, man. The arm digger guy. He could really do some damage with that thing. The President he could really do some damage to that thing the president's true only has the nuclear codes

to end all life on the planet so yeah man arm digger guy come on Ricky I'm gonna get a million emails from arm digger guys they're gonna be like my job is really important and i'm like yeah your job's important i just didn't know what it was called that's all really you call it my job at arm digger guys i don't know what it's called it's like a tool operator is it a steam

shovel tool except they don't use steam anymore yeah it's not the past yeah yeah when they're making the panama canal it's the steam shovel you run through a lot of operators because they all get malaria oh god i don't use those. They just use Chinese people. I know. They just use a disposable person. That's what she did back in the days of Teddy Roosevelt. This is the deep state whipping up sedition. Because that's what this is all about. It's sedition against the president of the United States.

The president's a buffoon. And all we're doing is asking him like direct questions. I know, it's not sedition. It's not sedition to be like, you said you had some tapes. So do you have the tapes? Sedition! I feel like sedition to be like,

so Russia then, huh? That's not sedition. Like that's not sedition. It's not seditious. How can it be sedition if Congress fucking has an investigation? If the FBI hasn't? How is that sedition? Like, when the Republican Congress.

Yeah. Right? Exactly. The same party, for God's sake. The same fucking party. Wow. Of America. And so I'm not surprised that a far left progressive socialist Democrat who watches MSNBC and Rachel Maddow attempted to murder 15 members of the U.S. Congress today wanting to know, are they Democrats or Republicans? Did he did he do like that one guy who shot Reagan?

He's like, he did it for Maddow. I'll kill the president for you, Maddow. Because wasn't it Jodie Foster? Yeah, Jodie Foster. I'll kill the president for you, Jodie Foster. She's gay, right? She's okay to go. So was Reagan.

It's funny because he's dead. When he found out that they were Republicans, he opened fire. I'm not surprised. The Democrats and the news media have been agitating for sedition ever since they lost last year's election. It's the least fucking effective sedition ever.

Do you remember the fucking Jade Helm shit effective sedition ever. Do you remember the fucking Jade Helm shit? Oh, yeah. Do you remember how crazy they were going nuts? The Republicans were going over that Jade Helm stuff. How they were talking about how Texas should, you know, like, they should bring out some fucking troops or whatever to stop the troops that are over there

doing their fucking crazy shit that they're gonna take over the Texas government. Remember when that didn't happen? You remember that? I do. Jesus. And then I remember when nothing fucking crazy shit that they're going to take over the Texas government. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,

he, And do you remember when the fucking nut job shot Kathy, whatever the fuck her name is, the fucking head? Yeah. Outside of fucking steps when she was doing her meet and greet or whatever. And do you remember like the dozen, like when Timothy McVeigh blew up the fucking federal building and annihilated hundreds of people? Do you remember when Sarah Palin put fucking radicals on a map of where they needed to like, you know. Right. You know what I mean? Like you're just like, there's tons of this stuff that happens all the time.

You know what we do? We look at it and we're like, Jesus, that's kind of fucked up. And then we move on with our lives. You know, like, let's be entirely clear and consistent. The motherfucker who shot that fucking Scalise, he's a fucking asshole.

That's not how you do this. That's not how you do this. He's an idiot. He's a fucking asshole. He's a piece of human garbage. This is not how you win arguments. This is not how you value ideas. I don't care how bad your life went. I don't care how bad your life went. I don't care

how bad your life went. I don't care how bad your business went. That's not a reason to shoot a person. But this is a guy probably suicide by cop. That's probably what he's looking for. It's what a lot of these people are looking for. He's a crazy person. Went out and did some crazy shit. There's fucking assholes and nutjobs

on both sides of the political argument. Absolutely. Absolutely. One side doesn't have a monopoly on idiots. The nut jobs do not define the political argument. They also don't define whether the arguments are valid or invalid. Sure. Right. Sure.

On either side of the equation. Yeah. We don't, we don't look at all people that dislike abortion. Like we look at the person who shot up the abortion clinic. Right. You just don't do that. Not at all.

You don't say, now you can say something like, you know, like when we do on occasion, say violent, you know, sometimes that violent rhetoric can push people over the edge.

Maybe there's something that they're hearing that pushes them over the edge. And right now in our country, the two political sides, there's a lot of violent rhetoric, contention between those two things. But I will say that the left often does a good job of calling out its own. I do think that the left does a good job. I don't know if the right does. I'm not

embedded in the right. I'm not. So I don't want to say that the right doesn't. I will say that the left, generally speaking, does a very good job at being self-critical. Sometimes too much, I think. Sometimes too much. But the left does a generally pretty good job of calling out its own violent actors. Look at the debate that was spawned over something as minuscule as whether you can punch a Nazi. Yeah. You know?

That's true. That's true. Doc, this must be what Abraham Lincoln felt and heard. When he got Russia to win him the election. Yeah, I'm sure this is exactly what he felt. Yeah. So we're going to compare Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump. Is that what we're doing right now?

Out loud with words. That's what we're going to do. My money's on Abe Lincoln. He was thinner by a lot. Longer reach. Yeah. Long reach. Wrestler.

Was not 175 years old. No. Yeah. When he was in office, he wasn't like a million years old. Donald Trump is the most out of shape piece of shit president we've had. He is. Even like W in them. I i remember when clinton got in and he got a little chubby and they got on him right away about how he had to eat better or whatever

this guy is just like bring me more cake he's so big well i did yeah he's he's i've i've seen things where he says he doesn't believe in exercise because he thinks you have like a finite amount of energy that's old timey's old timey. That is old. That's kicking at old school. That's kicking at old school. That's like a renaissance belief. Like that's like even past like where the Amish are. You're shooting yourself way back in the past. Like a push-up

will unbalance his humors or something. Yeah, like the last time people thought that there were more. You know, and they're just like, as the Civil War started. Boy, that's chilling to think we're on. That's stupid. It's stupid. It's a stupid thing to say and you're a stupid person for saying it.

It's chilling though. It doesn't even make any sense. On the verge of that, are they willing to take it that far, do you think, Rich? Yeah, one guy shoots somebody up and all the rest of us are willing to take it that far. To a civil war. Yeah, right.

This is, we are close to civil war because one dude got shot in the hip. Also, civil war doesn't work anymore because suddenly we don't have the same technology as the army. Like before, totes worked. Where you're just like, oh, hey, guess what? You have to spit in your rifle to slide the bullet down it. Yeah, we're all fucking fucking we're all the same page when you fucking use fucking stone axes to beat each other no problem suddenly there's no big deal but guess what i don't care what gun i have i could have like fucking i could have

the fucking biggest erection from ted nugent's collection. I don't care what it is. Biggest fucking craziest gun he has. I could have a hundred thousand of them. Not one of them is going to stop a fucking fighter jet. Not one of them. Not all of them together couldn't stop a fighter jet. All of them together would be entirely ineffective. I saw an article the other day

that was like, look at all the tanks that Congress keeps making us buy. Evidently, Congress keeps approving funding for all these tanks. The Army's like, look at all the tanks that Congress keeps making us buy. So evidently Congress keeps approving funding for all these tanks. The Army's like, we don't want them. We don't use them. They just sit in this giant field in California, like in Southern California. That's so sad. They should have used tanks for people.

I know, right? Because you don't want to go out and just buy a new car if you can have a free tank. You know what I mean? We should just use them as housing for poor people. Oh, Jesus. Just ride it right into the bank who's poor now motherfucker this is like

you can have all those guns and just be like I'm gonna shoot at a tank and the tank will be like yeah the tank will be like why don't you call Russia see if you can get some depleted uranium I'm a tank why don't you call Russia, see if you can get some depleted uranium. I'm a tank. I don't even care.

You know, a civil war is not even the right example, right? The better example would be more like the Revolutionary War, right? Because it's just a better example. We wouldn't break into geographical boundaries, the north and the south, where the standing army of the north would side with that geography. And the standing army of the south would side with that geography and the standing army of the South would side with that geography. Instead, it would have to be more of an insurrection, which would be closer to something like a revolution. It'd be like red state, blue state. You can't do that. Right. And then it wouldn't be the whole state. It's just a fucking skitter-scotter. Take example for Illinois, for example, there's really, you know, there's very few spots that are blue. There's like, you know, you can maybe look at Champaign. You could maybe look at, you know, you know, certainly the Chicagoland area and then maybe

Champaign, possibly parts of St. Louis, you know, the outskirts of the St. Louis area down there and the rest of it's all red. So, you know, you're looking at you. There's no way to just be like, oh, well, you know, you're both from Illinois. So you're both blue staters. Exactly. Which is why, you know, again, again, it just doesn't work. The model is not a Civil War model,

if you're looking back at our history. The model for something like this would be more like a revolutionary model. So then again, your statement before, like, okay, well, how would that work? We're all going to show up with our fucking shotguns we use to shoot pheasants with? Oh, God. And then we're going

to fight our neighbors who also have fucking shotguns or whatever. No, because there's an army, too. It doesn't work. Because there's an army. Exactly. There's an army that has weapons that fucking are insane at this point. Just utterly insane.

Just drone strike someone. It's silliness. Yes. It's literally silliness. It's about power. It's about power. They want their power back. The people took it away from them.

And they're willing to... The minority of people took it away from them. To kill to get the power back. One guy. It's time. Quite frankly, the Democratic Party should be disbanded. How would that even work?

You guys can't have Democratic thoughts anymore? They would just form a different party and call it the thing that's another name for the thing. I think they should disband it and then they should get the band back together. That's a stupid thing to say. Go on a reunion tour. Right? Maybe win a race somewhere.

They'd have a montage of them like some Eye of the Tiger playing in the background. Dun, dun, dun, dun. As a violent, seditious political movement. How about the agitators in the news media? I think they should be rounded up. Round up the news media. What are you going to round them up and do?

Rachel Maddow ought to be taken off the air right now. MSNBC should be shut down. The Democratic Party should be disbanded as a violent, socialist, seditious organization. Freedom and bald eagles! Okay, so think about what's the analog? Is there any? I mean, I listen to this guy every week. Do you think I think he should be shut down? I think he's an idiot. I think he's a fool. But I think he has every right to say what he wants to say.

First of all, it's never going to happen. Right. It's just it's just it's just never going to happen. It's crazy. It flies in the face of of the cherished ideas that are ensconced in our constitutional protection. Sure. It's never, ever going to happen. I'm going to shut down Rachel Maddow for being on TV,

having short hair and occasionally making a good point. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, oh, you're not allowed to talk. Why? It's fucking literally the most civil possible discourse. Literally the most civil possible discourse. So we want to thank our current patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons.

We want to thank specifically John, Greg, Fingertooth, Jeffrey, Dion, Ben, Simon, Yoakum? Yeah, let's go with that. Matthew and Phil, thanks so much for your generous donations. We really do truly appreciate you guys are the reason Glory Hole Studios continues to produce podcasts

thank you so much for being patrons we got a little bit of email we did want to mention we mentioned last week that the call to prayer is active now the I sent out the call to prayer that I used last week on Twitter,

but I will also put it included in this week's show notes. I'll include the call to prayer that we normally use at least the very beginning of that call to prayer, which is what I caught it from. It's a YouTube video. You can either record it. I use a thing called listen to YouTube and then you can just, it'll turn that all into an MP3 and then you can add it with that and

stuff. So, but I will post that video so people will have access to that particular call to prayer that we use. So this is an image. First one is an image of a rapture survivor discount card. I love this. I want to read this. Okay.

It says, celebrate 2000 years of any day. Now receive nine end times predictions. And the 10th one is free. I love it. That's great. That's great. The Timothy said that. Thanks so much.

We got a message. Now this is pretty serious. This is from Ken. It says, uh, attention, Joe, Joe or sin and Billy,

no crimes. Come out of the glory hole with your hands and pants up. You have the right to remain silent. No. Scratch that you are strongly encouraged to remain silent. You know what you've done. Your best friends know what you've done. And let's just say, Mr. No Crimes, that there is no statute of limitations on scooping a cross.

That's right. Because it's not a on scooping a cross. That's right. Because it's not a crime to do it right. That's what he's talking about. We got a message from Ben and a bunch of other people that included an Alexa Jones. Someone had remixed the Amazon Echo commercial with Alexa to add

Alexa Jones. It's really funny. Check it out. It'll be on this week's show notes. It's episode 365. We got a lot of corrections from last episode. We messed up. There was a movie of The Handmaid's Tale. We, of course, have

never claimed accuracy on this show ever. No. Right. But we do point out other people's inaccuracies. And that is where we excel. Indeed. So thank you for pointing out our inaccuracies. That is where we excel. So, so thank you for pointing out our inaccuracies. So that new movie from 26 years ago that came out. Yeah.

That new movie. That's the new movie that he's talking about. Spoiler alert. The book that came out 35 years ago and the movie that came out 26 years ago. They're very new. New on a geologic scale, I guess. We got a message. This is from Trent, and Trent

says that during the David Whitney segment, he calls Ariana Grande a dangerous woman time and time again. Not sure if he did that intentionally or not, but Ariana Grande's latest album is named Dangerous Woman, and that's something I didn't know because I had no idea about her. I actually had to

Google her. I had no idea who she was. How long did you spend on Google? Don't worry about that. About three minutes. That's a lot of time. That's a lot of time. That's a marathon session. Good for you. It was twice. I was edging. So this is a call to prayer. This

is from Tanya. I like the flash, Gordon. Nice, seamless mixing there. Bravo. Yeah. Here's a call to prayer. Hey, man. From Matt.

All right. And Matt is going to tell us a little something. I feel weird. A long wank man. A long wank man. I love a long wank man. Let's just navigate quickly away from that one. I still feel weird even after hearing it. This is a call to prayer using Steve Miller.

Again, a nicely mixed one. Well done. These are exactly how these should be done. Exactly. Short, sweet, to the point. Perfect. That one was great. Steve Miller band, killing it with Steve Miller band. So we got him a couple messages about

this um when we did that uh we did a clip um of the guy scatting and it was that guy uh that guy lance wallen who was in front of people and he just did that we played the scatman clip and then we also played the bird is the word right song those are just songs I played over the pod. I didn't have a mix of that. I didn't mix that in. I just played those while we were talking. You found them from YouTube, right? I found them from YouTube.

And I actually had the links clicked out for the times on there. So you just have to find them on YouTube. One of them is called The Scatman. And we actually, you can't get that episode on YouTube because they blocked it for The Scatman. Did they really?

Yeah, you can't get it. Cause that, that's a disputed song. So they won't let us, even as a joke, you're not allowed to play it. So that, that episode isn't even available on YouTube.

Um, yeah. Cause, cause for 20 seconds, I played the scat man and they caught it. They kill the whole thing. Wow. Unless I caught.

And the problem is, is that if you, you can go in and YouTube and say, remove the song, but if they remove the song, they cut around it. So that whole bit goes. And a bit is funny enough where I'm on YouTube and say, remove the song. But if they remove the song, they cut around it so that whole bit goes. And a bit is funny enough where I'm like, fuck that. It just won't exist on there.

I don't care. We don't have a big audience on YouTube anyway. And the commenters there love us, by the way. They love us. But anyway, so that's not available. But you have to find those songs on YouTube. That's where I found them. So this is Phil.

Phil wants us to play his call to prayer. That's what most people say about a long black cock, actually. Oh, nice. Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. So someone sent in. Oh, God. Dear Jesus.

This is from Jake. Jake sent in this fucking video. It's the... And this video is Ted Cruz's best Simpsons impressions. Okay. I'm going to put it on this week's show notes. Do yourself a favor. Hold your hands over your eyes and peek through your fingers and watch this.

It's just like that. It's just... It's so embarrassing. It's so epically embarrassing. You can't help but feel so just mortified for... Yeah, and I don't like Ted Cruz, but I was mortified for

Ted Cruz. I was so embarrassed. Yeah. He should have pulled his pants down and started masturbating. It would have been less embarrassing. Yeah. He should have failed to impregnate his wife. And it would have been less embarrassing. This is no shit. I tried watching this the other day before we came into studio.

I couldn't watch it alone. I was sitting. I forced Tom to watch it today. And I just kept staring at him. He would say something and I would stare at Tom and be like, because he doesn't do impressions. He just says the words. He says the words.

It's so bad. There's no impressions. It's the worst thing I've ever seen anybody do. He just says the words. He says the words. It's so bad. He doesn't... There's no impressions. It's the worst thing I've ever seen anybody do. He's barely human. If you never go to our website and click on our show note links, if you don't ever do that, this one. This one. Do this one.

This video. Just watch this video. You cannot believe... I can't even believe I'm going to say this. We dodged a bullet by not getting Ted Cruz yeah think about how weird having the first non-human

president seriously is wearing a skin suit like he is a skin suit that guy is he genuinely like when they make the jokes about how he's pretending to be a human watch this and be like yep yep about how he's pretending to be a human. Watch this and be like, yep.

He's so. Yep. Like this is a guy who puts people in, chops people up into bags and fucking carries them out with the trash. And he doesn't even think about it. He's like, oh honey, did you kill the last one and cut him up?

Yeah, I know. He doesn't seem like he can have an emotion at all of any kind whatsoever, even by accident. He's, I mean, he is really, he's like, he's like kind of like a less frightening Dexter. Yeah. Cause he's doughy. Yeah. Cause he's doughy.

Cause he's doughy and weird. Watch that video. You will not. Oh my God. It's so weird. Watch that video. You will not. Oh my God. It's so weird.

So July 22nd in Chattanooga, Tennessee, there's going to be a, a get together called secular Saturday. And this is happening. Like we say in Chattanooga, um, the 22nd,

uh, I know Tom and I are both, uh, previously obligated, so we can't make it, but it's, it's a full-day event. If you want to get together with like-minded people,

we'll put the link to the tickets on this week's show notes. Very reasonably priced tickets, $10 to $30 for a whole day. Yeah, very reasonable. And then chances are they're probably going to be doing a get-together at night. You can go here, check out exactly what is happening at Secular Saturday. We're going to leave, like we say, a link in this week's show notes. But check it out. If you have a chance to go and you're nearby, go hang out.

Tom, David sent us a limerick. I love this limerick. On the breast of a barmaid in sale was written the prices of ale. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was the same information in bread. I love it. I love it. That's great. Thanks, Taylor. I love it. That's great. So this is the

last one. This is Lindsay. This is a call to prayer. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Another good one. Very well done. These have been great so far. We're going to take some of these.

I'm going to see what I'm going to do with these. Maybe I'll put them on SoundCloud or maybe I'll put, maybe I can load them up onto the website and then have links great so far. We're going to take some of these. I'm going to see what I'm going to do with these. Maybe I'll put them on SoundCloud, or maybe I'll put... Maybe I can load them up onto the website and then have links to them directly. I'll figure out a way to make sure that we can link them, and then we'll put together a poll somewhere. We'll let you know where,

and then you can vote on these so far. We're going to stop taking submissions next week. Next week? Next week is the last submission. So you have until Thursday. This show's going the last submission. So you have until Thursday. This show's going on on Monday. You'll have until Thursday of next week to submit for call to prayer because that's the end of the month next week. And so that's it.

Wow. We're only going to have a two-week window. All right. So get them in. So get your calls to prayer in if you want to get it in. And you want to be, we're going to vote on all these. If you want to be eligible for a shirt, send us your name, address, and what kind of style of shirt and what size of shirt you want.

When you submit your call to prayer, the people that have that information on there will probably be getting shirts because we haven't been getting a lot of that information at all. So if you want to submit your call to prayer and you want to be eligible for a shirt, we're going to be giving away three to five shirts. We're not sure exactly. I think we said three,

but maybe it's five. Yeah, we'll see what it feels like. We'll see what it feels like. But we're going to be voting on this. We're going to have the fans vote on this this week. So this will be up on Monday, hopefully. We'll let you know exactly where this is going to go. Just check the website

to see exactly where to go to vote. And then just vote until next week. Like we said, on Thursday is the last day for submissions. Voting will end at the end of the month. And then we'll give out shirts in July.

Sounds good. Let's do it. So we want to thank, of course, the very talented people over at Citation Needed for joining us today. Wasn't it great for them to give us some of their time? I mean very talented people over at Citation Needed for joining us today. Wasn't it great for them to give us some of their time? I mean, really talented guys at Citation Needed.

If I were listening to this show right now, I would stop what I was doing and I would go and use the podcatcher of your choice to download Citation Needed. Citation Needed with Noah Heath and Eli. Indeed. Very talented, very funny gentlemen. That is the best podcast they produce. That citation needed is definitely the best podcast they produce. Their other stuff is excellent. Don't get me wrong.

It's excellent. Excellent? As far as podcasts go, it's excellent. It's okay. It's okay. Don't, you know, I know they were just on this show, Cecil. But check out their show. They're great guys.

They deserve your support. All of your support. You should listen to all the episodes like a couple of times tell a friend tell your mom your mom will like it your mom's gonna love it Carol listen to the show

that's gonna do it for this week you can check out their podcast at citationpod.com and you can also check out all the other stuff that they do Scathing Atheist Skeptocrat and God Awful Movies there's actually links at citationpod.com and you can also check out all the other stuff that they do. Scathing Atheist, Skeptocrat,

and Godawful Movies. There's actually links on citationpod.com. So go to citationpod.com if you want to find out anything else. Just click on Our Other Shows at the top. So weird.

So you could use CitationPod, for example, as kind of a hub. It's kind of a hub for all the activity. Start at CitationPod and then work your way up.

And branch out. It's really kind of your new home. It's clever. Cleverly done. That's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno

Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble, pseudo quasi alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces, cancer cures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, bigfoot, yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, atlantis, dolphins,

truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double speak, stigmata, nonsense. big stigmata nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any

information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. you