Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 366: Secular Student Alliance Conference

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

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This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no health care bill. And this is episode 366. Yeah. That's for sure.

Of cognitive dissonance. Well, there wasn't one, but if they would have passed that one anyway. Yeah, sir. There's no, there's no fucking chance they're going to pass. Do you think there's any shot in hell that they're going to pass a health care bill at all? Didn't they pull back? Like, didn't Mitch McConnell's to go back into his shell? Isn't that what happened?

I think the problem was that when the bigot popped up, he saw his shadow. So we get six more weeks of healthcare. Healthcare. I mean, seriously, this has become

joyfully farcical like if if because we're at a point where even if they were to accomplish something all that they will have accomplished is they will have gone back eight years in time and erase something right this is this would be their big accomplishment and they still can't do it. Go back eight years in time and erase something and make it worse. And that's going to be their thing. Every president's got like a platform in their first four years. Like, this is my big thing I want to get done. You know,

W, it was take away all our freedoms. Bush, it was great at it. He nailed it. Then he wanted to do the Social Security reform and privatize Social Security. That got shit on. And then, you know, Obama did Obamacare, right? And then he accomplished nothing else

after that. And maybe he's shitting on his legacy a little bit. But, like, Trump is just like, well, all I want to do is repeal something. He can't even get that done. Well, one thing he did get done was, didn't one of those things go to the Supreme Court, like the immigration thing go to the Supreme Court? Yeah, repeal. They can't even get that done. Well, one thing he did get done was, didn't one of those things

go to the Supreme Court, like the immigration thing go to the Supreme Court? Yeah, so the partial immigration ban is now, that's now that's going to happen. So I guess that's true. So is that a policy or is that just like a Yeah, sure, it's a policy. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta, I mean,

it's something, right? He did something. I mean, it's not anything I agree with, but it's something, you know, what I, what I got to say about this healthcare bill thing though, is you see they currently have, they currently have like fucking the house and the Senate and the presidency, and they have all these pieces in place and they should be able to just be like,

yeah, man, we're going to do this. And they can't. Yeah. Government has become so inefficient that even when everybody is like, it's like, I'm going to use, I'm going to use a sporting metaphor. Okay.

I'm ready for it. Okay. Ready? I'm ready. Even when like everybody is on the same team, everybody is on the same team and they're all running. They have teams outside of sports. They do.

Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to abandon this metaphor. I'm going to go with politics. I'm going to use politics as my metaphor. It's like having the house and the Senate and the fucking presidency. And you still can't fucking pass it. That's actually the metaphor.

People are just jumping off. And then the ball went through the goalpost. Like fucking fleas on a dog that's fucking submerged. They're just like jumping off that health care bill that they're like, nope, sorry. And they're Republicans. Like, fuck that. I'm not going to do this. Because you can't.

I mean, it's like it's such it's such basic shit. Like you can't take it away. Right. That has always been. And I think it is a legitimate concern about entitlements. Right now. And I'm generally for more entitlements rather than less in a general sense, right? But, you know, there's this idea, like you're saying, they can't take entitlements away.

But I've heard several people say the same thing. The Democrats should be happy if they pass it. They should actually be looking for them to pass it as best they can. Because if they pass it, a lot of people were saying saying you're going to get single payer out of this because this is going to be a disaster for so many the people that are going to get shat on are, generally speaking, the disenfranchised. Sure. And as a general rule, the disenfranchised are not a powerful political lobby.

Yeah. Right? There's not a poor person lobby. Right, exactly. So it's like, well, what about the poor people? Well, all right, we got something kind of in place. And it's not even an entitlement. Let me scale that back. Obam It's not even an entitlement. Let me scale that back.

Obamacare is not an entitlement. You still have to just go get insurance and pay for it. There's certain tax subsidies. And there's also some things that they just can't stop you from getting insurance for, which is a big thing. And Medicaid's been expanded. I recognize that there are some, but Obamacare in and of itself is not

broadly speaking an entitlement per se. But right now, there is kind of a poor person lobby. What it is is a bunch of people are motivated to call their representatives and go to their town halls. That's the poor person lobby.

That's true, right? That's the poor... Some real grassroots shit. That's how you do it. You get a bunch of people out to this fucking guys, you know, to his to his offices or to his town hall. Or, I mean, look at how many of those cowards didn't even a die in. I don't know if you saw this at Mitch McConnell's office. A bunch of people on welfare on Medicaid just went and pretended to be dead in his hallway and they had to carry him out. I heard about except for one lady who was on a little little rascal scooter. And I think they just asked her nicely.

And she said, yeah, I'll move. And she's on her little rascal. Because, like, I don't know how you get her out of there with a helicopter. You would have cut a wall off or something. French doors. Everything's French doors. For the most part, they all got carried out. They just pretended to die

and they had to all get carried out by the police. I think that's brilliant. That's the poor person lobby. That's how you do it. There's this grassroots push to stop the government from doing these actions. You know, like, distressingly, you know, for so many poor people, they can't afford to take a day off work to go do that. Sure. You know, they can't travel to get to get to their representatives. Of course.

But the good thing is, is that this is affecting more than just poor people. It's true. I know. I know. It's just, you know, I worry. I just worry that the I don't have a lot of faith in the political will of the disenfranchised or not political will, but the political power of the disenfranchised to affect change. I don't have very much faith in the empathy of those who have to look out for those who do not. Yeah. You know,

because we've just seen that not work so all the time yeah it just doesn't work we just i mean that's why we have a republican party right that's it that's the reason you have i mean i'm not even wrong i'm just not even wrong that's why you have a republican party republican party you can't look at the republican party and say that's a compassionate group of people you can't say that That's a compassionate group of people. You can't say that it's a compassionate group of people. What it is, is it's like, I want to keep my money, group of people. Yeah, right. Mine, mine, mine. That's what it is. You know, like,

look, if you're Republican, you probably don't even disagree with that statement. Right. You're like, yeah, no, I want to keep my money. You know, there's a fucking perfect example this week, and we're probably going to talk about it a little later, but there's a perfect example this week of this guy posted this thing on Twitter. And it was something like, my daughter saved up X amount of dollars for a guitar. She had exactly the right amount of money. And then,

boom, sales tax. And he put, a Republican is born, because he's a Republican pundit or whatever. And you're just like, and everybody's like, yeah, well, did you tell her about the roads you drove over to get there on? The sales, like that, that, that, the sales tax paid for that or that she didn't get fucking robbed by bandits on the way over for to get, you know, it's like, it's like, you know, there's all these people who forget to just tell her about the sales tax

so that she wouldn't be disappointed. She knew ahead of time. Right. But seriously, the terrible play. Yeah. It's clearly a fucking made-up story. It's obvious. Because it's just a shitty thing to do. It'd be so awesome.

What would be the best is if he goes up to the counter with her, because it's a totally made-up story anyway, but if he goes up to the counter with her and he's like, okay, pay him your money. She's like, here's your $35, mister. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's $37.60 because there's sales tax. She's like, looks at her dad. He's like, here's your $35, mister. Oh, I'm sorry. It's $37.60 because there's sales tax. And she's like, looks at her dad. He's like, guess you can't get it. And then they leave. I'd be like, why just order on Amazon? You don't pay sales tax. You do now. Oh, you do now.

They changed it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. The internet tax. We'll talk about that in a minute. But, you know, that whole thing, people just like, I feel like many people who are anti-tax don't recognize the benefits you get to living in a safe country with, you know, facilities

and clean water, mostly except for Flint and other, you know, other benefits. You know, they just don't get that those benefits exist. I hate talking about this shit, but like I was I was reading a fucking Facebook argument the other day where somebody was like, well, I don't believe that somebody is making a similar argument. And this fucking guy actually had the nerves be like, well, I don't really believe we should have public firefighters. We should privatize firefighting. I was like, privatize firefighting. So if you don't pay my house's on fire bill, they're just like, oh, sorry,

you're in arrears, so we're not going to put it out. I mean, just think about how that would work if you were the neighbor who did pay your firefighting monthly reoccurring charge. You're just like, well, it's going to spread to my house. You should put out there, there's a baby

in there. You can't do there. There's a baby in there. You can't do that. I think maybe their person's talking about privatizing departments. No, they wanted to privatize. They wanted you to pay like on an individual basis to get your house put out. And if you don't pay, you're not a fire department. Come on, dude. They were called out expressly on it.

And they're like. Come on. That's the funniest shit. It was like libertarianism taken to the point of extremists. It's like, it's like that fucking, the seasteaders. I like to think sometimes I'm a libertarian.

And then I think of those people and I'm like, fuck you. You know what? You know, what's great about those barge idiots. If something goes wrong, I bet they call the Coast Guard. Right?

My barge has a hole in it! My fucking utopia is sinking! Pretty soon it's going to be Atlantis! I'm not going to give you a question. You are fake news. Sir, can you state categorically that nobody...

No, Mr. President-elect, that's not appropriate. So this story is from CNN. Three journalists leaving CNN after a retracted article. I do like that it's also from CNN. It's from CNN. I found it from CNN. We found a great story, guys. This guy here is like, I got a scoop.

Breaking news. I quit. Story hit. Now. It would have been awesome if they made them write the story like it's bad homework. No, you will stay here and you will write your resignation and you will post it to CNN.com and then you will leave. Oh, this is great. So three CNN journalists.

This is not great, actually. The story makes me very angry. So there's three CNN journalists, including the executive editor in charge of a new investigative unit. They resigned after the publication of a Russia-related article that was later retracted. Long story short, they didn't vet their fucking article properly. They didn't have the vetting. And they didn't go through the proper editorial standards that are required at CNN.

And they got called out. Yep. And they should have gotten called out. Yep. And I'm glad they got called out. And they fucking quit. Yep. And I'm glad they quit

because that's really getting fired. That's how the real world works now, right? Like, yeah, he got resigned by force. like i got is uh gonna break your legs if you don't quit exactly yeah so they fucking quit fine but you know i read this and it's like this is not what we need yeah do a better job cnn this is the one bone that all the people on the internet are gonna find oh my god they're to pick and they're going to say, Hey, what about this thing?

Just like this week? I don't know if you saw this, but that fucking O'Keefe guy who goes out and does that gotcha journalism where he's fake. He records people. Is this the Planned Parenthood asshole? Yeah. He's the same guy.

Yeah. With the fucking bullshit video. Yeah. But he goes out and talks to some CNN guys. And the first one is him talking to this guy who, he says, what do you think about the Russia thing? He's got a hidden camera on him. He's like, oh, that Russia thing.

He's like, what do you think is going to happen this week with the Russia thing? That's the question he asks. And the guy's like, oh, the Russia thing is just a big nothing burger is what he says. And then he says something else. He's like, oh, you don't think the Russia thing has anything? And then the guy turns around

and meets somebody. But then when they play the tape, they rewind him so he can say it again. And then they show this other guy who's an executive there who they ask him some questions. And I watched this tape and I did not think

it was particularly damning. The guy was saying, yeah, you know, we want to, this is killing the ratings right now. It's great stuff. And he's like, I don't know if there's anything to it. He's like, maybe there's not. He's like, probably not anything to it. He's like, but you know, it's, which good ratings, et cetera. And so this guy

comes on and says, oh, you see how, you know, they're manipulating us to be like, no, no, they're just, they're just talking about the bad things that are happening. That's what the news does. That's, you know, when know, when you have somebody who's saying, you know, there's not a lot to this, there might not be a lot to it, right? But he is under

actual investigation. There, you know, the government agencies that are investigating this, and I'm not saying him exactly, but I'm saying like, you know, the collusion,

all that different potential collusion and all that different potential collusion and the ties. There are actual government organizations investigating this right now. That's not fake news. They're actually doing it. Flynn resigned. That's not fake news.

He fucking really genuinely resigned. He doesn't work there anymore. He didn't do it and he didn't resign because he read a CNN article. Right. And so it's not fake news to report something that turns out like not to be. If it turns out there were no collusion, then that's the story. The story is, oh, it looked bad. Yeah.

Turns out it's not bad. Right. Right. That's OK. It's OK if that's the story. But you got to write it. And it's not fake news because it didn't because because the investigation reveals no corruption. Right. The fact is that there's an investigation. What are we supposed to not tell people about it? Then we're having secret investigations. You know, those are your two choices.

Sure. Either somebody either reporters look into this and write about it and tell people about it, or it happens in secret. There is no middle ground. It either comes to the light of the public, and the only way that things come to the light of the public is by journalists, right? Yeah. Or it happens in secret. Well, I don't want secret government investigations. And this is opinions of journalists about whether or not something's true. Right.

These are two journalists. You're asking them their opinion. Maybe they don't think there's anything to it. Okay. That doesn't mean there isn't anything to it. It could be wrong. They're just normal people. It's not like they have special fucking information

the rest of us don't have. Like they, they're fucking, they are people just like us. They get their information the same way we get our information. The idea that they could could they somehow are prescient or can dig within this entire big fucking mess that has been created and be like oh yeah there's there's absolutely nothing to it well then fucking

why aren't they in charge if they could just look at it right that's ridiculous we wouldn't need to do an investigation if you could just call them up and be like can you just tell us what the results are having an opinion on it doesn't mean it's true. Right. And this article, while it makes me mad that they're writing something like this and the people out there that are too stupid to recognize that this is a good thing that they let people go are going to call them fake news. But you're calling them fake news and they're following ethical standards of journalism. Yeah. You know, and that is the other side, right?

It never should have happened. It never should have happened. It never should have happened. Yeah. But the fact that it happened and then the organization self-corrected, right? That's a good thing. That's how it's supposed to work. That's a good thing. What they didn't do is they didn't double down on it. They didn't say, buff and bluster.

They didn't do any of that shit. They're just like, guess who doesn't work here anymore, motherfucker? And that one dude has worked there for like 16 years. Yeah. And what he did, he came out and said, yeah, I fucked up. I made a mistake. I fucked up. I made a mistake.

And then he said, now you say, I made a mistake. I should have done a better job. Then he also said, you know what? CNN really tries very hard to get this shit right. My mistake. Yeah. Well, OK. Well, fucking okay.

But you know how this is going to spend. That's how it's spun everywhere. Is that people think immediately because, you know, there was a story that didn't turn out to be true that all of it's fake. Yeah. And you're like, it's not all fucking fake, man. Well, even this article says it's not necessarily that it's fake. It's that it wasn't properly vetted.

Exactly. It shouldn't have made it. Shouldn't it? It should have made its way through the process until it had been vetted properly right so that doesn't mean that this that the facts will not pan out it just means that they weren't properly vetted that's a bad mistake yeah it's a bad don't get me wrong it's a fucking big mistake it's your job for right which is what you should do yeah right sit down just because of the we'll get just because the attack of fake news and and attacking our network i just want to ask you sir

i'm changing it from fake news though doesn't that under very fake news and attacking our network, I just want to ask you, sir. I'm changing it from fake news, though. Doesn't that undervalue? Very fake news. I know, but aren't you? So speaking of actual fake. Fake news. This is amazing. Fake news.

I love this so much. This is CNN. Faking a Time magazine cover is the most Trump thing ever. This is an opinion piece. The facts are that if you go to some of these golf resorts of Trump's, there are in his golf clubs, there are

Time Magazine covers, like framed covers of Trump from when he was on Time Magazine when he wasn't on Time Magazine. I was immediately reminded like the novelty Time magazine is like dad of the year. You superimpose

your picture on it. It's like your golf shorts and your fucking crocs. Your fucking crocs. You got your dad pants on. You're wearing a super dad shirt. You're wearing crocs and you're like, got your dad pants on wearing like a super dad shirt wearing Crocs and golf shorts. You have been fucking condemned to death. I mean, it's just like some shitty

fucking fake episode of golf digest or something. Best dad ever hits a goal in one. Like, you know, it's the same thing. It a novelty cover and he's somebody made somebody made it up they faked it and it they they they put the date on it well the date just happens to be the same date that uh that kate winslet was on it and i guess this isn't the first time that trump has sort of been all over another, like another famous woman. You know what I mean? Like it isn't the first time that that's happened, but, uh, but it's a totally fake, it's a faked or like cover completely, completely faked cover that they put up there with, you know, very favorable headlines towards Donald.

And it's, the thing is like, I could understand if it was a joke at one of them right you could call it you could pass it off as a joke if it was at one of his club clubs right like if it wasn't one though you could be like oh well you know this joker manager put it up there it was funny we thought it was funny we put it up there right you could pass that off as a joke but to have five of them made and then sent to each one. What kind of fucking narcissist shit bag are you? Let's have an oil painting of me on top of an oil painting of me. And if you erase it underneath it, another oil painting of me with a pencil drawing of me.

But the best part about this is that the bottom, there's a tweet. This is my favorite thing. So time, time says, yeah, that's all fake. The white house doesn't dispute it bottom there's a tweet this is my favorite thing so time time says yeah that's all fake the white house doesn't dispute it trump has a tweet to try to get people's attention i'm gonna read this full tweet yeah i don't know what this means this is great hold on a second let's go to this other story it's a gizmodo article because i love the next sentence

afterwards so read that and then i want to read the next sentence afterwards. So read that. And then I want to read the next sentence. Okay. Yeah, that's great. The hashtag Amazon Washington post sometimes referred to as the guardian of Amazon, not paying internet taxes, which they should is fake news. I wrote this Gizmodo article says syntax issues aside, this sentence makes absolutely no sense that's so bitchy and awesome i love it yeah so it literally makes no sense he's saying so because i don't understand it anyway like let's let's like do some fucking dare it out let's

deconstruct this like if if you read this, it's the Amazon Washington Post comma. Then there's a defining clause in the middle. Something is referred to as the Guardian of the Post. None of that matters, right? But he didn't put another comma there. He should have. Let's assume. Guardian of Amazon comma, right?

So I think the actual sentence is the Amazon Washington Post is fake news. is the Amazon Washington Post is fake news. And then inside of that, he's describing the Amazon Washington Post as being referred to as the guardian of Amazon. Oh, he's got so many different clauses in there. So he's making two points. The embedded point, the larger point is the Amazon,

that Amazon and Washington Post are the same thing. He does that by hashtag gluing them together because that's how you know that's true okay and he's doing that i think it's because jeff boas or whatever owns them both okay right that's fine she's saying yeah and washington post is fake news okay and then he's saying sometimes but the washington post is sometimes referred to as the guardian of amazon that's another clause right not paying internet taxes is another clause which they should it should be but he didn't he didn't punctuate anything right so you can't it's just so that they're not so they're saying amazon is not paying internet

taxes or washington post isn't paying internet let's assume it's amazon because it's his well that's because his references who knows knows? They're not supposed to. I don't get it. Because he just keeps changing the subject. Did he change the subject three times in 140 characters? It's amazing. I think he did. So Amazon is not paying internet taxes, Cecil.

Could you imagine how many browser tabs he has open when he jerks it? It's going to have like 70 browser tabs open. Where he's just like click, click, click, click, click. Just all on different windows. Just craziness. So the man can't write. He can't think.

And he's invented internet taxes. Internet tax. Did you pay your internet tax? I'll tell you what. Nobody has because it's not a thing. When they start throttling you, you'll know. Now, I've watched that video. That's open on the tab. I got a lot of tabs of that.

I love Jeff Bezos. I said Boas. I'm sorry. Jeff Bezos finally trashed by real Donald Trump. We'll still reserve him a seat on the Blue Origin rocket. Hashtag send Donald to space. This guy's fucking awesome. Good for you, dude.

Oh, my God. It's fucking crazy. It's just nuts. And it's funny because you get these people who think that all news is is fake and this guy is telling them the truth and he can't even he can't even put a a cogent thought in 140 characters right he can't even decide on which thought he wants to convey in that 140 that's the thing that astonishes me there is he's got like three thoughts none of which are formed yeah all the way they're all zygote thoughts like they're not they're not

yeah they should be after this guy for abortion you know what the fuck ready to stick it in the glory hole get links to their facebook twitter and if you still use it google plus account at their website dissonancepod.com if you need to be all discreet about it, contact them by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content, including full patron-only shows? Head to patreon.com forward slash dissonance pod and become a patron to support the show on a per episode basis. Love commercials? Not ready to become a patron? Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher.

Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. This story is from The Guardian. A Trump lawyer's firm steered millions in donations to family members. So documents obtained by The Guardian reveal Jay Sekulow, I don't know how his name is pronounced and I don't care,

approved plans to push people to give his Christian nonprofit a bunch of money, which he used for whatever the fuck he wanted. The reason I wanted to talk about this article isn't so much because of who did it. It's because of how he did it. Right. Yeah. I think I think getting on to who did it. I don't care. The reason why this is even that Trump is even in there is because we talked about earlier, because anything Trump right now is making headlines and that's making clicks. Right. So they understand that. So this guy has a has a tangential relationship to Trump in the sense that Trump hired him as a lawyer. Right. And so they're immediately going to say Trump's lawyer's firm.

And so that's the connection that is going to get you more hits, but it doesn't, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's not why I chose this story. So I chose this story because I think it's fucking appalling. So these telemarketers for the Christian advocates serving evangelism, it's a previous case. They're instructed to go to people, including elderly people on fixed incomes. And they're, they're, they're soliciting, right? They're saying like, you know, give us, give us a're saying like, you know, give us, give us a bunch of money, you know, for our evangelism project.

And then when people say I'm on a fixed income, I've got nothing to spare. I don't have anything. Their instructions are to push. Can't you just give us $20 just as a one-time deal. Let's, let's look through some of this. So this is the sheet that they're given.

Oh, I want to read. And so, and so the sheet that they're given is they have answers from the people. These are stock answers that you could give if you were trying to get out of giving someone money, right? These are common. Very common. In sales, these would be common objections.

Exactly. So they're training through the objection. They're trying to sell through the objection. And so the first objection is I give through my church. And the person who's reading this document would say, oh, I understand. We don't want to take anything from the church. But you support your local church first. Many people have shared with us similar comments.

But thankfully, many are helping with smaller gifts because they believe that every little bit will make a difference in our efforts. Can you please give $20 or $25 in the next three weeks? And then the next one is, I'm retired on a fixed income. And the comment is, I'm retired on a fixed income. And the comment is, I understand it's difficult to share a gift right now. And we don't ever want anybody in a financial bond

to put anybody in a financial bond. But could you possibly make a small sacrificial gift of $20 within the next few weeks? If not, I understand. And then the next one is, I have no money. I'm unemployed.

Jesus. Tom, what does that one say? I'm sorry. I didn't know that. I can certainly understand how being unemployed, having limited funds, would make it extremely difficult to help with a gift right now. And we don't ever want you to be in a financial bind. Could you possibly make a small sacrificial gift of even $20 in the next two to three weeks? If not, I understand.

And then the other one, I don't give over the phone. And then they have an answer for people who say, I don't give over the phone. And then they have an answer for people who say, I don't give over the phone. And then they finally have, I recently gave. And if they gave within a month, you just thank them. But if it's more than a month, you say, hey, we'd really like some more money. Yep.

And if it's more than a month, it says not only do we want some more money, it says we wouldn't be calling if it wasn't so critical. But this is so important because the liberal activists are working every day to undermine our traditional Christian values. Could you help fight this critical battle with a special extra gift of just second request amount? Yeah. Yeah. They are going after people who have no money. Yeah.

They are going after poor people to get rich. Yeah. Is there anything more disgusting than to use somebody's fear? Right. Because that's the liberal activism thing is look, man, they want this country to look the way you want it to look. Give us some money. They're coming for you. To appeal to people's faith, and you're going to take from the poor to give to the fucking rich? They're reverse Robin Hoods. So then they get all this money,

right? So the charity gets all this money. They steal. They basically fucking steal. They strong-arm this money from people. They extort it. Through God. God extorts it from them so from fucking old people and poor people or poor old people or old war people they take this money from them then what do they use it for they used to go on fucking trips and hire private jets and fucking live lavish lives yep right and

share it amongst their family right and they're they're hiring their family to do stuff and then they use these really weird obscure tax rules to like rent a private jet from your cousin and you know like all this other stuff to like not only steal from them but then to steal from these people a second time because many of these people are probably you know on welfare or medicaid they're stealing from these people a second time because they're not paying any taxes on it right it's true right. They're stealing from these people a second time because they're not paying any taxes on it. Right.

True. Right. So they're stealing twice. They're dipping in the same jar twice because these are the people who most benefit from taxes. How do you get rich off the poor? Yeah, that's twice. That's it.

Yeah. And these fucking disgusting people are like, that's that's how they do this stupid shell game where they take the money from here and they move it here and then they don't have to pay any taxes or rent this thing from you. You know, there's all this fucking, all this bullshit about, oh, the welfare queens are taking all this money. They're taking all this money. What about all these people who fucking move money around in a shell game and avoid taxes through it? You know, I pay a lot of fucking taxes every year. Every year I pay a lot of taxes.

I've been paying a lot of taxes for a long goddamn time. And you know what? I just fucking do it. You know, I pay a lot of fucking taxes every year. Every year I pay a lot of taxes. I've been paying a lot of taxes for a long goddamn time. And you know what? I just fucking do it. I don't find weird ways to get around it. I just look at what my regular deductions are and I go, okay, well, can I get around? Can I get, cause clearly I'm going to get, I'm going to try to take as much money as I keep as much money as I can while paying my fair share of taxes. That's what everybody should do, right? You know, if I do something that the government says, this is a deduction, I want to take advantage of that. I'm not just going to be like, oh, fuck it. I don't need any deductions. What do you say you want? Here's a check. I'm not going to do that. Nobody does that, right? We all think we want to pay our fair share of deduction of amount to taxes. I want to do that every year. If you don't

take a deduction, you've paid too much. You've paid too much. You've paid more than you had to. And I want to, I want to make sure I pay my fair share every time. So that's what I do. But I don't go fucking try to find some weird way to get around it. The thing is, you're not structuring your life in a loophole way. You're not restructuring your businesses in order to move money in a way that purposefully avoids attacks. Yeah, and I'm not like doing conflict of interest stuff, like hiring someone who I know

to do this thing so I can pay them to do it. You know what I mean? It's like all this weird workaround bullshit. I don't have enough money to make it work anyway, right? Yeah, that's the ultra-work of shit. So I don't have enough money to make it sing. Right. But the thing is,

these people make their money sing for them. Yep. Well, and I want to just get back real quick to part of this article because I think it's important. It says case, which is this is this charity, right? Raises tens of millions of dollars, much of it in small amounts from Christians who receive these direct appeals we just discussed. So he says he get fundraisers are instructed by this guy to deliver bleak warnings about topics, including abortion, Sharia law, and Barack Obama. They sell fear to the faithful to steal from them what they cannot afford to give to get rich. There is nothing more disgusting.

That's absolutely disgusting. And these are people who are going to listen to them because they're afraid. And they've been sold this fear for years and years and years. It's so crazy that they're being sold fear that is against their best interest. Isn't that fucking nuts? These are people that this is where the charity money should be going to. This is the problem, by the way, when we talk about or when you hear that objection raised where it's like, well, you know who the real social safety net should be it should be charities well some of these charities these are the people who charity should be watching out for yeah the unemployed

the fucking broke the destitute elderly people on a fixed income without 20 fucking bucks to their name right charities should be looking at these folks and saying how can we relieve this burden not say oh you know aren't you afraid of Barack Obama? Give me 30 bucks. I need $30. Sharia law is coming unless you give me some money. Jesus won't love you. You won't get a fucking glorious hand job in heaven unless

you give me some money. Nobody fleeces the poor like prosperity gospel motherfuckers and these evangelists and the doomsday prepping motherfuckers. Nobody evangelists. Nobody does that. You're right. And the doomsday prepping motherfuckers. Nobody does it. Nobody gets these fuckers like that. You know, they get fleeced.

The poor get fleeced by them because they have the promise of, for a lot of them, especially the prosperity people, they have the promise of more money for people that are destitute, right? There's ways in which that these people, the biggest scam artists in the world go after that piece of what being poor is. Because when you're poor, all you want to do is make sure you have enough all the time, right? You just want to constantly make sure you have enough. You put little things in, I know like, like throughout my whole life, I've always had this fear because I grew up, I didn't grow up fucking super destitute.

I wasn't like, you know, on the corner begging, but I was, I was poor when I was a kid. And so for my whole life, I've always put these things, these, these dams in place in my life that I've been like, if something goes wrong, I'll have this to fall back on. I always have fallback plans. My whole life has had fallback plans because I recognize what losing a job can do to you, how badly that can spiral your, your life out of control down into a fucking, you know, a never ending loop of fucking, uh, title loans or something. You know what I mean? Like you can get really bad. So I've always put these little things in my way to be like, just in case I'm going to make sure I'm going to, I'm going to be okay. And that whole thing about, you know, the, the, the mentality that I have is specific to

growing up poor. And when you grow up poor, all you want to do is make sure that you're, you're far enough up over this one ledge. So you're going to be okay. And so they're constantly looking for that next thing to put them over the ledge. For some of them, it's prayer, right? I can pray and get rich. Maybe. Okay, I'll try it. Get out of debt free water.

Does it work? I don't know. I'll give you a couple hundred dollars to hope that this is going to work. The same thing when it comes to different uh, you know, uh, different types of multi-level marketing, right? That multi-level marketing stuff is always targeted at the very youngest, the very, the very poorest of the people. It's always targeted at those people because those are the people who finally wind up with it at the end and get fucked by it, right? All the people above them are still making some money, but the people at the very bottom are the fucking ones who get fucked. And they're the ones who are looking for

a way to get out of poverty. I wonder if there isn't an element, and I don't know this, I wonder if there isn't an element of like, well, you know, my life is shit here, but if I work hard enough, I can secure a better afterlife. Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. I'm just thinking out loud, but like, you know, if your life is that bad and you're going to give your 20 or 30 bucks and it's like, look, man, I don't know about that yeah i don't know i don't know either i'm just thinking out loud but like you know if if your life is that bad and you're gonna give your 20 or 30 bucks and it's like look man i i don't i don't think i'm getting out of this one yeah but i'll be poor forever but i need you know man i need paradise yeah like what the fuck i'm gonna be poor forever but yeah you know i'm gonna go out of here in the next 10 years maybe i need to maybe i'm gonna take that money and i'm going to invest it toward my

fucking celestial retirement. Could be. And that's even bleaker because that's not going to happen. Yeah. Because it's not. I want to be really clear. That's not going to happen. You're going to rot. Yeah. It's not going to happen. Yeah. And money is garbage.

And that money is given to somebody who's going to use it like this guy. You're giving that money to somebody who's going to use it the here and now yeah you're investing in a fake afterlife so you can get fucking golden harps and blowjobs or whatever it is that you get up in the fucking cloud world and you're giving their money to somebody who's gonna use it now with very white teeth right pretty wife yep yep and you know why he wants it now because he wants i'll tell you, if he believed in that fucking special, special afterlife the way he tells you he believes in it, he wouldn't be living

life the way he's living it now, right? He'd be like, fuck it. None of this matters. I get an eternity of paradise. I'm going to raise money and give it to the poor. I'm going to raise money and fucking fight cancer or whatever. He's using that money because he doesn't believe that shit either. Yeah. So we're joined now by a campus organizer with the Secular Student Alliance, Pete Zupan.

Pete, thanks for joining us tonight. Thank you guys for having me. So, Pete, tell us, you know, we were contacted by your organization. Tell us why your organization is excited at this moment. We are super duper excited because the weekend of July 7th through 9th here in Columbus, Ohio, we are having SSA Con, Secular Student Alliance Annual Convention at the Ohio State Student Union. This is our biggest conference, the biggest single gathering of secular students in the country, and the best opportunity for them to learn how to be better activists and organizers all over the place. Okay. Wait, wait. Okay. We're going to stop right there. We're going to stop right there because I got a question. Sure.

What if I joined Secular Student Alliance tomorrow? Let's say I was first off 20 years younger. Okay. 20, 20, 20, 25 years. Keep rolling it back. 31 years younger. And I wanted to be in the Secular Student Alliance. What would that entail? What is it about? If I wanted to join, what would lure me to join that? Okay, well, for you specifically, we'd probably say no. Wait, do I get a yes? That's fair.

That's fair. Tom, we'll let you in. That's only because you're short and you look younger. That's because I'm short and I am younger. That's fair, too. I only look twice my age. Well, the SSA is something that we hear from a lot of older people like yourselves older people this interview is gonna be cut real short a lot of the ancients well

jesus christ i'm not a fucking end i talk very slowly you see that's a reference to lord of the rings a book and movie that came out sometime very slowly. You see, that's a reference to Lord of the Rings, a book and movie that came out sometime before your time. It's a little before your time. No problem. Yeah, I was in high school when that came out, man.

Anyway, it's what it's what the... Yes, I was like... Secular Student Alliance is an organization dedicated to helping non-religious students form groups on their college campuses. We view ourselves as not just helping students create clubs, but also as a way for them to build their secular values to figure out what they do after

they figure out the God question. And a big part of that isn't just giving them free materials, which we do, or helping them host events, which we do, but also giving them the tools so that they can figure out who they are and what their meaning and purpose is as they move on through life. What do you mean tools? they are and what their meaning and purpose is as they move on through life. What do you mean tools? So some of the tools that we give them are like our free materials that we give them, give them banners, stickers, brochures, tabling supplies. Korans, Bibles, the Book of Mormon.

The Books of Mormon. They get handed enough of those without this. But also things like our Speakers Bureau, where we have a bunch of people who will come to college campuses for either cheap or free and talk to these students about any kind of topic that they want. Not just atheism, but sometimes history, social justice, science, paranormal stuff, conversion therapy, all of that stuff. Oh, and we also give out project grants, which is free money for these students so that they can do stuff that they might not otherwise have funding for or that their school might not have the budget or willingness to give to them. So sometimes this money can be the difference between being able to host a fundraiser so that

they can give more money to themselves or just being dirt poor college students. So do you find that the need for an organization like yours extends equally across the country? Or do you find like, you know, like, you know, I would imagine that the need for an organization like SSA in, you know, Alabama would be different than like at Vassar, right? Like at Vassar, I think it's a reasonable assumption that, you know, nobody shaves their armpits and everybody's secular, you know, versus Alabama where they teach most of their classes using a series of rattlesnakes as props. So like, do you find that you actually have a professor?

Do you find that you, that your organization is, is geographically more in need in need, depending on where you're working? Well, sure. Each geographical need has a very unique set of circumstances around it. So the quote-unquote Bible Belt definitely has a presence of evangelical Christians, that kind of community, where a community of atheists is especially very needed. However, you go to the Northwest region, so like Oregon, Washington, California, or even my home city of Boulder, you're going to get the stuff on the left. So the Reiki healings, the Wu stuff, the alternative medicines, anti-vaccination, homeopathy. Yeah, but all that stuff works.

That's all true, right? No? Chemtrails are killing us all. Turning the frogs gay. Okay, so when you say secular, it's more than just an abandonment of religion. It's an abandonment of, it's really an embracing of skepticism. Yeah. In addition to it, because secular would of skepticism in addition to it.

Because secular would not typically include something like Reiki or whatever. You could be completely secular and still think there's aliens. Right, exactly. And believe in the Reiki garbage or whatever. None of that requires religion. Or think dolphins are real. And they are clearly not. I wrote a poem where they're listed among other.

I was just asking about that before we went on. I wrote a poem where they're listed among other I was just asking about that before we went on. People are fucking weird about dolphins, man. There are people who think dolphins are fucking mystical beings. I've seen videos where women go to have water births in the ocean

amidst the dolphins, like 900-pound predators. They're just like, let me bleed and deliver a six pound meat into the world. I want to see the person who does that around the reef sharks. I'm secular, but that's a hundred percent real. But funny that you should mention that because our version of secular is a little different, but a little bit more evolved than what the common usage of secular might be. Most people use secular to describe just that which is not religious.

So that would just be stuff that isn't Christian, Muslim, Hindu or something. We add or the supernatural onto that because it seems like a natural extension. Like you wouldn't really think of stuff like ghosts as being inherently religious. But then when you flip- Although there's obviously a religious element to it, right? Because in order for there to be ghosts, you have to have some sort of afterlife belief

that's embedded in that nonsense, right? Yeah, but then there's other stuff like the anti-vaccination or wooey kind of crystal stuff. But when you flip that around, it's not just a negative position. You can make it into a positive position, which is people who are primarily focused with the naturalistic world. So stuff that's just happening in this reality, this lifetime and all of their decisions work towards that so it actually encompasses a lot more stuff than just the religion question it also talks about uh values stuff like health the environment science uh feminism lgbt equality and all of these

things which impact our day-to-day human lives during this one life that we have to live. So this is really a lot, this is focused a lot on humanist values. Humanism is really, it sounds like, like your definition of secular sounds to me very much like a definition of secular humanism. Yeah. Embracing those sort of core concepts. Secular humanism has a lot to go with it. Embracing those sort of decisions using collaborative reasoning, using evidence, using your own personal values, and adding all of this stuff, taking away the existence of pre-existing laws or edicts and stuff can help you come at a much more progressive view of the world

and the values that go along with it. So at this conference, the conference that's coming up in the next week, are you just talking to leaders there, leaders of the SSA, or is this for all students? This is for all students and even for old people. Yeah, if you knew some. This is an event tailored not just towards building those secular values, which are definitely needed, but it's all about practical skill building. So it's going to be about the questions every community leader has. How do I promote myself?

How do I get more members? How do I run events? What stuff can I do with money? How do I transition leadership when I am tired of it or in most students' cases have to graduate? So doing all of this stuff not only helps build their own secular values, but also helps keep their groups alive in the long term so that they can keep those secular values going at their campus. We've had some campuses going on for years, like at Kansas State. It's been around pretty much as long as the national organization has.

And that's because they learned awesome tricks to keep their group alive, even past the first rung of leadership. Does the SSA face any significant opposition to its, like, do you guys run into significant roadblocks organizing at campuses? Like, when you're at Liberty University, for example, like, is that particularly challenging? Oh, we almost got set up there. Did you really? We had a student interested in doing it, but that fell through. But we do still get a lot of pushback even from the public schools who want to, at least certain individuals within the public school,

might want to hinder the progress of an SSA, might not be aware of things like the Equal Access Act. And usually we're able to handle that kind of stuff uh internally like just sending a letter but in some cases even after the group gets established they get things like their flyers get torn down or vandalized they can get people coming into their meetings and being really disruptive they have even had at least one case that I know of where someone tried to get into the leadership just so that they could disband the group. Oh my gosh.

So there is still pushback. That sounds like Trump. Jesus. Right? So if I was allowed to come to this event, how would I get there? Like what would be my way? Well, other than like, I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about like,

like on the internet, if I wanted to like buy tickets and find out more information, where would I go? Sure. Well, unfortunately, by the time this episode airs, our internet registration for us at Saigon will be closed. However, we have on-site registration still open. If you come to Columbus, Ohio, the Ohio State Student Union, and you can still get all the information you could ever need about SSA Con by going to secularstudents.org slash SSA Con. Or if you go to the main website, secularstudents.org, you'll find dozens of links, which will help you get there. You can navigate our programs. You can see the kind of living arrangements that we have. And students can still look at potentially getting something we call travel aid, which is free money to send

students to SSA Con to help them save a little bit of money. Wow, that's great. Well, good luck with the conference. And one more question. Whose show do you like better, Dogma Debate or Cognitive Dissonance? That's a great question. And you need to be honest or this won't air. Right.

Well, I'll tell you this. I listen to Cognitive Dissonance every time that I bike to work. All right. He does that once a year. The problem is he can't listen to Dogma debate biking to work because he just runs right into the paywall and he can't get it.

Or you just fall asleep and fall off the bike. It's terrible. Thanks so much for joining us today, Pete. We really do appreciate it. I appreciate you guys and glory hole from the SSA. So we want to thank our newest patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons, but we want to thank our newest patrons,

Greg, Sir Privy Winks, Matthew, John, Aya, Eric, Tim, Below Expectations, Dodd Snow, John, Xavier, Eric, Nicole, John, Xavier, Eric, Nicole, Holly, Phillip, Holden,

Barbara, and Maddie. Thanks so much for your generous donations. We really do appreciate it. If you go to Patreon, you're thinking about donating, you can go to Patreon. We're about halfway to a goal right now, and the goal is for me to quit my job. So if you want to donate to the show, we would absolutely love to have your money so that I could do this full time.

How awesome would that be? That'd be great. That would be amazing. So go to- I feel like you, imagine the additional work burden you could take from me. I know, Tom.

You guys can make that happen. You guys can make Tom's work burden less. All you have to do is go to patreon.com, pledge on a per episode basis. We really do love our patrons. So thank you so much. You make LawyerHole Studios possible. So thank you so much. You make lawyer whole studios possible. So we want to talk about some email,

but we also want to play some calls to prayer today because we've got a bunch of them and we're going to go through some of these. So here's the first one. This one is from Sean. I like it. I will say this, Sean. Bit of unsolicited feedback. If it could have ended with a whoosh, that would have been, I think, solid.

But that was Sean's entry. I also would have accepted the my anaconda don't want none line. That would have been a good one. I like buns. Let's go to... Let's go to another Sean, a different Sean.

This is another called prayer. This is not human intelligence. Okay. It's not human intelligence. That's always going to win me over. It's always going to win me over. Next one is from David. Headshot.

Jesus Christ. That's rough. That's rough. It should be better if it was behead shot. This one is from Goat Skull. He's got two, but we're going to play the long version. This is his long version of the call to prayer. I get it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Oh God. This was a mistake. Yeah. I don't know what that's from. That's insane.

It's crazy. That is just insane. I love auto-tune though. It's the best. We got an image from Aaron. We're going to put on this week's show notes. I love this image. It's a great, great image.

Check it out. It's a, uh, it's a mega image. Make America great notes. I love this image. It's a great, great image. Check it out. It's a mega image. Make America great again. Drain the swamp. Here's another call to prayer. This one is from Cthulhu, the octopus god. your favorite band love them terrible i love them you know they would do a great job doing a haka love them. Terrible. I love them.

You know, they would do a great job doing a haka. Probably. They would kill that. I'm just saying. I bet you they would. So this is from Mr. Bible Pants from the Problem Addict Podcast, which is coming soon. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest.

Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest. Allah Your favorite band. God, I hate this shit. Yeah, I don't like the foreigner music that you like.

The crazy foreigners. I like angry foreigner music. Angry foreigners. And I don't like the down south guys either. I like Armenian rage bands. They're great. That was from Matt. That's the love boat version.

I like that one a lot. I love it. I like that one a lot. This one here is from Matt. That's the Love Boat version. I like that one a lot. I like that one a lot. This one here is from Dave. I love it. I love the Blues Brothers reference there. You always get Chicago guys with that. Next one's from Brian in San Diego. I like this one a lot.

That one's great. I like that one a lot too. That's a good one. This one is from Benjamin and and benjamin wants me to call skylar a garbage person so skylar you're a garbage person and this is his call to prayer oh god Oh, God. Now that's garbage. That is garbage music right there. All right. So this one is from Jesse.

Made two of them. And like other aspects of Jesse's life, they're short, so we'll do it twice. that's great there is nothing that will make a hardcore Islam that will melt a hardcore Islamic person's heart like Shakira let me tell you specifically Shakira's hips because they don't lie. Alright, so this is

from Sean. Sean sent in one. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. That is how the Klingon lures a mate. That is how the Klingon lures a mate. This is another call to prayer. This one's actually really different. I think I've played this one in the past.

I love this one. I actually think this sounds good. That in the past. I love this one. I actually think this sounds good. That's the thing. See, this one was submitted a couple years ago, but Luke wanted to submit it again. I think it's great. All right, so this one is from Nathan. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest. God, I hate System of a Downer.

Jesus. That's terrible music. Offspring's the worst band ever in all the history of time. Stop. Offspring. They're the same band, right? Shut up! So this is from Axis. ever in all the history of time. Stop. Offspring. They're the same band, right? Shut up! So this is from Axis.

Yes. This next one is from Grant And this is a terrible song From the 80s by David Lee Roth A song sounds terrible. I had to hear that song a hundred thousand times when I was a kid because it was on MTV and it was the hot girl video. So I watched that video start to finish every single time. That's why they invented the mute button. Oh, that was a long time before a mute button. My friend volume control to get up and I have a little, I'd have a little Woody. You don't stand up with that. You're laying on your tummy in front of all your friends like, no, I don't have a hard on! You have a hard on!

Just fucking mashing your hard dick against the floor. Fuck, this hurts. Sad and lonely. Sad and lonely. So this is a video that we're going to play.

We're going to put it on this week's show notes. This is from Christian. And Christian gave us this video. I love it. That is a remix of Alex Jones talking about gay frogs. It's very funny. Check it out. It's on this week's show notes.

All right. So this is from Travis. you know she has a nimble tongue that's why why I like it, right? I do want to comment real quick on that last one. Travis did indicate that if he wins, he'd like a medium shirt. Like, for your body? He must be a foreigner. So this next one is from Jake. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest.

Allah. I love this. Let's get dangerous. This is that age gap we were talking about. I love Darkwing Duck. Is he like a Batman for ducks? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I have no idea what that is. It's great. This is Call to Prayer by Ari. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. A little bit of Yes there. I like that song. Roundabout by Yes.

This next one is from Carlos. Long way, long way, long way. From Carlos. I think it's great. I like that one. I think it's great. This one is from Brendan. Could you imagine what somebody who says a prayer like that could do to somebody? I was afraid for my life.

You find the defendant not guilty? Guilty of murder in the first degree? Or guilty of murder in the second degree? Not guilty. We didn't create that. Brendan created that. That was not us. Not it.

Nicely done, though. Yeah, it is great fun. All right, so this one is a Monty Python reference. It's from Null. If you don't know what it is, just search for monks hitting themselves from Holy Grail and watch the clip. It's very funny. So this next one is from Alan.

Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. I think the best part of that is that he does it I hate the offspring God damn it terrible so Glenda I hate the offspring. Jesus. Terrible. So Glenda,

Glenda, sure. That's terrible as well. We got a message from Glenda who is one of the members at the Ethical Humanist Society here and it looks like on the 5th of July in Skokie they're going to have uh a humanist

horizons the worldwide rise of nationalism and religious fundamentalism looks like they're going to have four speakers howard katz babu gagani i don't know how to pronounce that. I'm probably mispronouncing it. Hemant Mehta, who is the friendly atheist, and then Sharon Welch. So they're going to be at the Ethical Humanist Society in Skokie. We're going to put a link on this week's show notes to this. All you have to do is just go to our website. It's going to be on the 5th.

So I know I'm going to be busy, but if you want to go check this out, I'm sure Glenda would love to have you, and I'm this out, I'm sure Glenda would love to have you. And I'm sure the people, the speakers there would love to have you there. This next one is from Mayhem and Mayberry, and they sent an image of Cocoa Puffs. And we might have posted this before. I don't remember. But an image of Cocoa Puffs that are Neapolitan flavored.

They are. And look at the way he's scooping. Yeah. You could never get a scoop of ice cream that looks like that out of a Neapolitan box. They always do that and you could never actually get a scoop of ice cream that looks like that. It's true. So yeah. So check

this out. We'll put the image on this week's show notes. Here is a call to prayer entry. This is from Chris. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. poncious sent us in some stuff poncious uh from sweden. So it's probably Bjorn. I'm probably mispronouncing it. But Pontius sent this in.

This is... He sent three. Pontius, I'm not going to play all three, but I will play this one because I think it's the funniest one. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. sound like their vocal chords were like that tuning saw you know like when they oh yeah you know why would you record yourself doing that? I don't know.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. All right. This is Clement. It's probably not pronounced that way from Paris. Clement from Paris. Here we go. Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah Allah

Allah Allah God, I hate System of a down god damn it that was offspring so so here it comes i hate 311 so here it comes everyone does uh all good people this is wayne this one wins most random this one definitely wins most random that shit is amazing amazing i, I say. Amazing. This one is from Nick. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.

What the rock? It's going to give you the people's elbow. I love that. Here's one from Petros. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. God, I hated Beavis and Butthead. People call us Beavis and Butthead. I fucking hated it. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.

Allah. Citation needed. Yeah. Listen to citation needed. Citation needed. Citation needed. Citation needed. Citation needed.

Citation needed. I have a blog too. That was great. I love it. I'm going blog too that's great I love it I'm going to use that for every single Muslim story from now on and I'm going to play one more from James this one is Freddie Mercury Eddie Mercury really had to have a good voice. Eddie Mercury is pretty amazing.

I want to just say hi to Joyce from the Philippines. Joyce listens and Joyce found just a few months back, found our show. Joyce is listening from the Philippines. Joyce listens and Joyce found just a few months back found our show. Joyce is listening from the Philippines. So hello, Joyce. Here's another one. This one is from Chris. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest.

Oh yeah, right there. Oh my God. Oh. Oh. All right. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. That was a weird, deep voice on that. Right there.

Jesus Christ. That is where I like it. Lord. I feel like I got to go. This one is from Michael. For the love of God and all that is holy. Remember that? From Rejected.

This one is from Michael. I know that I am not under alien control. What the hell was that? He is under alien control. Son of a computer. Son of a bitch. All right. So those are our entries. Now we are going to this week,

this weekend, sometime this weekend, I'm going to take all of these entries and I'm going to put them somewhere and I will have some way in which to vote on them. I haven't figured out how that's going to work yet, but I'm going to, them somewhere and I will have some way in which to

vote on them. I haven't figured out how that's going to work yet, but I'm going to, I'll, I'll figure it all out, but this weekend sometimes. So before this show even launches on Monday, this should be done. And then we will have a voting on them for a week or two. And then we'll, we'll figure out who it was, who wins the shirts. Then we'll arbitrarily decide what we like best anyway. Don't ruin the magic time. Never pull the curtain back. it was who wins the shirts. We'll arbitrarily decide what we like best anyway. Don't ruin the magic time. Never pull the curtain back.

The shower curtain. So we want to thank Peter Zupan for joining us for the Secular Student Alliance. Be sure to check out our show notes. This episode is 366. You're going to want to check out all the different links that Peter sent us for this particular con as well as all the other links that he sent us

for Secular Student Alliance. Go check out this episode. Show notes. If you can, go to Peter's conference. Go to SSA Con. I'm sure it'll be a good time. And it looks like there's going to be

not just young people, but old people there too oh so we'll fit right in yeah so bring your walker uh that's gonna wrap it up for this week we're gonna leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain dead, pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. Leo Pisces. Cancer cures. Detox. Reflex. Foot massage. Death in towers. Tarot cards.

Psychic healing. Crystal balls. Bigfoot. Yeti. Aliens. Churches. Mosques and synagogues. Temples.

Dragons. Giant worms. Atlantis. Dolphins. Truthers. Birthers. Witches. Wizards.

Vaccine nuts. Shaman healers. Evangelists. Conspiracy. Double speak. Stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy Council and viewers like you.