Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 371: Trump Tweets with Eli Bosnick

Episode Date: July 31, 2017

 Stories covered in episode:     

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from yik Yak Studios in Chicago. This is Cognitive Dissonance. I'm on both podcasts now. Full partner. Don't take my word for it. You can find that truth on a Yik Yak. I am part of the show now.

Full time. Yeah. People who tried to escape. Nice try. Every episode we blast anything that gets in our way. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. We bring critical thinking, Eli, and skepticism.

To any topic that makes the news. Which may be actually mutually exclusive. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sure. Makes it big. Or is Jewish. Or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no lack of hate mail this is episode 371 of cognitive dissonance and we are joined if you didn't catch it by the inimitable thank God, Eli Bosnick from such shows

as Citation to do the very best thing that he's doing these days. God awful movies Skeptocrat and Scathing Atheist. Eli He's also got a blog. He's got a blog. Forgive me because I love your blog. What is the name? What is the name?

Because I only, I just linked to it. The Invisible Blog. The Invisible. That's why I never see it. Yeah. It's just, that was a good joke, right? That's right. Right? Yeah. Is it named after Wonder Woman's jet?

Yep. Because nobody cares. And it's kind of useless. No, it's named that because I've had the blog for five years. There's five years of backlog on the blog. And it was just sort of a journal slash collection of thoughts and poetry. And then I, in my infinite egotism, was like, I should ask people for money for this. And unfortunately, people are supporting that terrible habit.

I support that habit. It's the worst. I'm totally a patriot. I'm putting money from one pocket into another pocket. We're in business together. It's foolish. Alright, well, we wanted to have you on because

we have low standards for both friendship and for professional relationships. I'm here to challenge Michael J. Wood to a fight. Oh my god. He's a fight. Oh, God. Oh, my God. He's a pussy. I mean, like, he strikes me as the kind of person who, like,

one round, I could just totally take him out. That's what I'm really here to explain. Tweet that at him. Just let me know. I haven't. I've met you both in person, and I will say, while you do probably outweigh him, he's the scariest looking human, that man would pick his teeth with your bones.

I am not a small guy. I outweigh him. Yeah. I wouldn't fight Michael Wood for fucking money. No. That guy. No shit. He looks mean. He is.

You're just like, oh, you're going to kick the shit out of me. Like, you're just like oh you're gonna kick the shit out of me like you're just gonna kick he's just always in a state of like in between the last time and the next time he kicks the shit out of someone he tweeted a thing and I messaged him and I was like hey actually you got this wrong and he was like I don't got fucking shit wrong

and I was like you're totally right man I don't know what you're talking about he's so stupid he's got like a tattoo of all the people he killed on his eyelids. It's fucking. He's the kind of guy who'd like rip the fucking

skin off your body and feed it back to you. You know, he's just like, everything's good. He left his hoodie in our, in our,

studio. He came up, he left his hoodie in our studio and that is something that, you know, we would have probably put on Gary and put outside and taken pictures of. I FedExed that fucking thing.

We didn't do anything. We were just like, no, no, here's now. We would never mess with your clothing, sir. There you go. I would have tried it on to see if I got powers. I would have tried it on and gone for a deadlift. I couldn't fit into it at all. It was like a medium or something.

It was so funny. But's like a medium or something. I don't know. But he's a terrifying individual. So we did want to talk to you about Trump and his transgender tweets. Well, he didn't tweet about being transgender. Why don't we read his tweets just so we have it? Can we pause before we read his tweets? Because I want to talk about the fact that he tweeted. because I want to talk about the fact that he tweeted.

I want to talk about the fact that the President of the United States is using fucking Twitter as a way to announce a policy shift with respect to the fucking military. It is such a grossly inappropriate medium to do this that he was unsuccessful in doing it. Yeah. Right?

Because it's 140 characters. He couldn't squeeze out his fucking pea-brained-sized thoughts into 140 characters. It's fucking three tweets. It was three tweets. It's three tweets. It is a grossly inappropriate medium. Just to start off with, he can't even pick the right medium to convey his hateful message.

He can't even. It's like burning a fucking rubber cross. You know? What are you doing? This is not how this works. It's all fucking a fucking rubber cross. You know, like, what are you doing? What are you doing? This is not how this works. It's all fucking sloppy and doesn't hold shape. You can't even fucking hate properly.

You shithead. All right, so let me. Let's read it. Let me read it. It says, after consultation with my generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming

victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you. He did have eight characters left for a thank you at the end. What a piece of human fucking garbage. Which is nice.

Please be advised, by the way. Like a fucking like a fire drill. Please be advised. I'm a transphobic piece of shit. In five minutes, please take your final purchases to the counter and fuck them. Go to that little place with the lasers that we're replacing

all the meth heads with swipe your stuff over the bag like a goddamn servant i hate that thing guys so after consultation with my generals and military experts you're not going to allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity. Cook. It can't be the cook. It can't be a logistics guy. And it's,

that's because the reasoning, because our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory. That's a weird thing to say. Decisive and overwhelming victory to me. It's a little Hitler-esque. I don't know why. It's just a little North Korean, right? It's just a little weird.

It's a little North Korean. I also feel like it's incredibly weirdly redundant. Like, could you have an overwhelming victory that wasn't decisive? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. We overwhelmed them in our victory. Did it decide the issue? Well, it was an overwhelming victory. Yeah, fuck it. Of well it was an overwhelming

victory yeah fucking of course it was of course he had 140 characters and you still chose to be a redundant piece of shit you stupid ass motherfucker and yeah that please be advised I feel like everything you say is you advising me you don't have to start off with oh hang on he's gonna

advise me you're the fucking president of the United States fucking tweeting out a policy shit and it's not by the way that's not a power he has by the way that's this is not a thing he's not like i declare he despite r slash the donald he's not the king so this now there has to be paperwork and shit and people have to do but like so please be advised i'm wrong please be advised this is i wish he tweeted out his fucking vision board for us but you know who else this doesn't sound like it should be coming from a fucking draft dodger you know you know who shouldn't tell anybody who can serve in the

military someone whose bone spurs kept them at military camp for fun, boys. You know, like what? And I read a number of things like what? Like there's already transgender people in the military. What are we doing with those guys? And like, what if you find out what if you're serving? And like the logistics here are not even established. It's a lot of the criticism I read about this was that it's terribly unclear because it doesn't address the people who are already in that are out and trans. It doesn't address the people who might enroll or enlist in the military and then come out or discover or whatever their trans identity.

I don't know what the fucking proper terminology is, so forgive me. It doesn't really address the hows. It's a terribly impractical rollback of an existing policy with respect to how trans people are or are not allowed to serve in the military. This is not how policy is done. This just isn't how this is done. What is it supposed to mean? You're not allowed to serve in any capacity. Why not? Why not? Why can't you serve in a logistics role? Even if you were to buy, and we'll talk about it, even if you were to believe this spurious bullshit argument that a combat role was somehow a role that a trans person fits less likely into or would be less likely to,

you know, the number of combat versus support roles. There are many more support roles in the military than there are combat roles. Am I supposed to believe that like a trans person can't be the fucking supply clerk? Why the fuck not? You know, buy whatever the fuck they want. Like, oh, I can't source tires because I'm trans. What the fuck is wrong with you? Well, I mean, so let's let's address the arguments.

Right. Because unfortunately, like, here's the thing. We have sort of a choice. The first is like we can sit here and feel really great by the fact that,, this is something our community has been a tremendous part of, this transphobic, you know, devil's advocate attitude that's the cancer of the skeptic community right now. We can pretend like the skeptics don't have anything to do with this,

but the truth of the matter is like, I got people on my fucking Facebook wall right now who are asking me about the cost of Viagra versus the cost of transgender soldiers. So this is just to address those arguments, right? Let's not pretend that they're being honest, but just to address those arguments, there's a person, Alex Stewart, I don't know who this person is, but they actually put together a little post. And in it, they put it this way. And the first thing that everyone has come to the defense of this thing is, is the idea that like, it's just expensive to have trans soldiers on the field,

that like paying for their operations is somehow super duper expensive and it would increase the cost a tremendous amount. And that's why he's really doing this. And it's also to his base and that whole Scott Adams, he's a master manipulator bullshit, right? Okay. So according to Rand, if admitting transgender soldiers may increase costs between 2.4 and 8.4 million, but that's a tiny fraction of the overall budget. It's likely to have little impact on the 6 billion we already spend for soldiers health. on the $6 billion we already spend for soldiers' health, it's at most 0.134%. And to put it another way, we spend $84.24 million on erectile dysfunction drugs for soldiers and vets in 2014. All right. And that's according to the military times. So the expense argument doesn't work. And then the next argument, of course, is the idea that like trans soldiers are somehow

worse soldiers than non trans soldiers. And the prominent example of this to point out is is obviously the one that Dave Rubin tweeted out. I'm going to find out, find the tweet exactly. Dave Rubin tweeted out this thread, and this is what he had to say about it. On the day Trump announces that trans people can't serve in our military, he tweets this out. Powerful thread, try reading without judgment just for what it is, and it's by at J.R. Salzman, right? This is what this guy has to say. I served in Iraq in 2006. For the first five months, I was on a 12-man firebase out in the middle of nowhere in the desert.

Every day was Groundhog Day. Wake up and do the same patrols, the same shifts. Every single day, it was so damn hot, 150 degrees in the gun tracks. Tracer fire would go overhead occasionally at night. IEDs on the road were a daily threat. We got resupplied food every eight days. QRF was an hour away. After they made the minimum three gun truck rule after the guy got kidnapped, life got harder. The stress of being out there and doing the same job every single day eats away at you. The younger guys had problems with overtime. Any tiny personal issue they had suddenly became a mountain and that shit came out on that

fire base and they snapped mentally. After stepping on each other's nuts, living in the same can for five months, guys were at each other's throats. The stress made it worse. Guys would literally snap over a Dear John letter. Their personal issues came out and they were instantly combat ineffective. Now take someone confused about whether they are a man slash woman. Okay. Take those. Go ahead.

I just want to say that's not what a transgender person is. Yeah, right. That is not what a transgender person is. Right. I just want to point that out. Okay, continue. Yeah, well, I love it.

He sets up, look, and normal guys, the normals, the ones who aren't all broken, they would just fucking shit themselves and smear themselves in it because it was hot outside. But now, now you take someone who doesn't know if they have a penis because they never reached down into the down-the-there. Listen to what this guy says. Now take someone confused about whether they are

a man slash woman. Take those psychological and emotional issues and put them in that environment. Take someone who is right off the bat, not uniform or part of the same team.

Give them special treatment because of their identity. What's special? Yeah, special treatment. You know. They get ice cream. They get ice cream. All right, who strands? No Larry. A lot of people don't know. They get ice cream. They get ice cream. Who's trans?

No Larry. A lot of people don't know this, but like the tracer rounds bounce off of you if you're trans. Yeah. Like they just, you can just, you can catch them in your teeth like Chung Ling Su. It's just amazing. It's like out in paintball. You go like, no, no, no, I'm trans. I'm trans.

I'm trans. They don't shoot you. It's a whole thing. Cease fire. Yeah. Take that person. Put them in a you. It's a whole thing. Cease fire! Yeah. Take that person, put them in a stressful war environment, and watch what happens.

It's a fucking ticking time bomb. You have to be incredibly tough mentally, physically, and emotionally. That's true. You do have to be those things to be trans in America filled with... Oh, no, no.

He's talking about war. Sorry. He's talking about war, the thing we've been able to do since we were cavemen. He's talking about how hard war is. I thought he was talking about what it's like to be a trans person in America

surrounded by bigots like this, but no, he's talking about war. Literally the easiest job in the world, which is killing your fellow man. It's a thing that animals can do, but no, no. He's talking about war, not being trans. War is not a fucking video game,

unless you're a drone pilot, in which case it now literally is a video game. Sorry. It tests every ounce of your being. Okay, I mean, I don't know. I didn't go to war. I'll have to ask if you went to war, write in. Let us know how many ounces of your being

were tested. 21 grams. Here we go. We have some more. He's got some more lies coming up. You can't teach someone to be a fearless warrior in a fucking PowerPoint. You either have it or you don't. All the people at West Point are like, fuck. Fuck.

We're wasting a lot of time here, guys. Oh, man. I got some bad news about air warfare. He probably thinks the Red Baron's coming for him. And then he says, you either have it or you don't. You can hack it or you can't. We had guys who couldn't. When faced with combat situations, they crumbled.

They had mental and emotional issues. They were a liability. So yeah, it doesn't matter if you're trans, just some people aren't great at war. Okay, he's going to tell us how to be successful at war. So, lock this in, guys, because I personally am very excited to hear J.R. Salzman's opinion on how

to be successful at war. Because, you know, I've studied some of this, like, Five Rings and all that, but I'm really interested in J.R. Salzman. To be successful at war, you have to become a warrior. Mentally. Hold on, I've got to write this down. That's fair. To war, be warrior. Okay, good. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, mentally hold on i gotta write this down that's fair yeah to war be warrior okay yeah mentally

physically and emotionally you can't fake it and go through the motions uh strong disagree you can fake almost anything actually because it's in war if it comes down to kill or be killed and you hesitate wait wait wait you're in. When does it not come down to kill? I just, if. When you're the supply clerk. Yeah, right. If it comes down, it's like, we're going to kill you. But what about if we kill you?

I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't thought about that. It doesn't come down to kill or be killed if you both have a jack at the same time. Then you got to eye. Okay. If you hesitate, you're dead. It's as simple as that. It's not a fucking video game.

It actually, again, it is a video game for a tremendous amount of the warfare that we're conducting now, but that's okay. Sorry. War is no place for people who are mentally, emotionally, or physically confused or in turmoil.

To be fair, I've been physically confused zero times. That doesn't mean anything. And we do do a host of psychological testing to make sure our soldiers are crazy as shithouse rats before we send them into battle. Don't we do that? No, no, I get confused. It's after they get back and then they're crazy. He says, you have your shit together or you don't.

And if you don't, you'll just get people needlessly killed. Political correctness has absolutely no place in the military. Oh, there it is. There it is. Good for you. And it's funny because he just finished telling us that there's no place for people who are mentally confused in the military. But he's confused. It's funny because his mental capacity is...

Okay, anyway. And this is the fuck you, you can't criticize me tweet. You guys ready? This is why I'm a bad person. So at the end, later when the show comes out and people are like, funny that Bosnick has never served a day in the dirt to be an American. They just rascal over to your iPod and turn off your show forever. So here's the tweet why I'm a bad person for criticizing ideas, right?

Enough for now. This one-armed veteran has a business to run unlike it gets better american flags to veteran bald eagles and a nascar race it gets better unlike iran the country that took my arm. Iran? Iran? The country? Iran? Wait, what? Iran? Did he steal something in Iran?

They got the chopper off machine. What it is? That's what happened. What the fuck? Iran? He's a Muslim thief. He's not even sure where he served. Did he say Iran for real?

Yeah. Really? Yep. Unlike Iran, the country that took my arm... And here's the best part. You ready? Unlike Iran, the country that took my arm, Obama didn't pay me millions.

Wait. Unlike Iran, the country that took my arm... Obama didn't pay me millions. Because Obama gave Iran millions of dollars. Is that three separate thoughts? No, it's one thought. Because Obama gave Iran millions of dollars. Is that three separate thoughts? No, it's one thought. See, unlike Iran,

the country that took my arm, by the way. In case you're wondering, who's Iran? How could they take his arm? We haven't had a conflict with Iran. Well, Obama paid them to take his arm. Just his? Like the actuarial tables don't support this.

I don't feel like losing an arm. This is where the spending's going. Obama comes with a big briefcase and he sets it down. He's like, show me the arm. Give me J.L. Saltzman's arm. Just like a giant fucking paper cutter. What the fuck? Yeah, I don't know. I'm a one-armed

small business owner veteran. Are you fucking kidding me? I got a fucking black lab and 2.3 kids. My wife is pregnant right now with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy. Dear God. I listened to something today. Because the military is so large, it is the largest employer of trans people in the world. Of course, it's probably the largest employer in the world, I would imagine, maybe?

I know the U.S. government is. Yeah, so that's a possibility. The reason why is because the trans community is then, if it's represented in it. But the other thing, too, is, you know, because of the ability to have health insurance and, you know, to be able to do this sort of, you know, gender reassignment and things like that. There's a you know, I think people might choose the military when they might not other times because there is benefits to it. Right. You get a chance to, you know, have this health insurance. Sure. And so so they may be choosing the military that way. But I listened to something today where this person was saying

that before Obama changed the rules and trans people couldn't openly serve, this person was a trans man. So born a woman, now a man. He was so afraid to be called he in public with his boyfriend or his girlfriend. I think I think he said his girlfriend. I don't remember. Maybe his partner. Let's just say his partner that he would ask his partner to change his pronouns in public. In public? Oh, man. Because before it was, because he knew that he would get in trouble for it. Sure. And imagine trying to live that life, right?

This has nothing to do, being trans has nothing to do with how you do your job. It has literally nothing to do with how you do your job. You know, I was just looking at something a few moments ago, and it's about 15% of the military is combat. About 15%. The rest of the military roles are non-combat positions. So even if you bought in, and I don't, and we should talk about it, but even if you bought in to J.R. Saltzman's arguments that, you know, in some fucking dirt-filled foxhole somewhere, a trans person would somehow be less psychologically stable and less psychologically stable people are a detriment to a fighting force. But even if you were to believe that,

you still have 85% of the roles in the military to fill that are non-combat. So even if you believe the combat readiness of a trans person was somehow questionable, Trump's statement that they will not be allowed to serve in any capacity still denies these folks 85% of the opportunities in the military. And for what again? And it's based on fallacy over fallacy, right? I mean, a casual reading of On Killing by Dave Grossman, which is, by the way, the most complete study of military killing and military destruction and how it affects the mind and that kind of stuff. We're not good at killing. Human beings are the worst at killing.

We're terrible, right? They shoot wrong. They shoot high. We're naturally inclined not to kill people. Less than 1% of our soldiers shoot straight. When you ask them to shoot, we have specific training exercises designed around people being not able to shoot at other human beings. I recommend the book On Killing by Dave Grossman. It's really good. good so the idea that like there is a special extra set of mental capacity that makes you better at killing is a untrue right it's an untrue prospect to start out with but the idea that trans people are any worse or better at it is is nonsense it's total nonsense it's unstudied unscientific bullshit based on the idea that trans people are mentally ill or otherwise confused. Well, we already allow, I mean, I'm sorry,

but I know some fucking military personnel, and they're not the fucking most emotionally and psychologically stable folks I've ever met. Right? So it's not like we have a policy called, we will only allow emotionally and psychologically stable people in the military to shoot people. There's not a battery of tests

to stop you from going in if you're not strong enough. Can you do some fucking squat jacks? Sure. I got this. All right. Here's a grenade. It might be somewhat more stringent than that, but let's, let's not pretend that we have, you know, that we are, that we've got some kind of screening process called only the

most emotionally and psychologically stable people are our military. And there's plenty of fucked up people that join the military yeah there's plenty of people that are fucked up or not fucked up in the military then fucks you up like the fact that you're trans doesn't have any relevance here as if that evidence weren't enough and honestly if the if that evidence weren't enough for you then it's not about having an honest conversation you're just like, I could be like, here, look,

I invented all the data and you'd still be like, so no point there, but like, you know, when you look at staff, Sergeant Logan, Ireland, or the woman who is a part of seal team six,

who's a veteran who's come out against these kinds of things. Pussies though. That's exactly not combat ready. I would like to fight this woman and Michael Wood at the same time, please. I would like to. And Logan Ireland, all of a sudden. I mean, look up these people. You've got members of Seal Team Six who are trans coming out, you know, who are American

heroes. And look, there are members of our armed services who are absolutely heroic, who have been and continue to be heroic. And these cases prove that it's got nothing to do with being trans, right? Logan Ireland and then the woman. Sure, sure. Yeah. So it's just, it's a ridiculous argument.

There's this idea, and I know you guys have all heard it, that like, for the longest time with Trump, it's like, ah, he doesn't really believe what he says, right? That was the, I know you guys have heard that shit. It's like, ah, he's just playing everybody. He's manipulating everybody. This is a ploy. This is a strategy. And I got to say, so what if it is? Even if that's true, I'm not sure it is. But the conclusion that I've come to is, what fucking difference does that make if this is a ploy or a strategy? If I'm willing to burn your fucking house down, not because I don't like you. I still like you just fine.

But I'll burn your house down because I got a way to collect your insurance money. Right. Then the fact that I still love you doesn't fucking matter. I still burnt your fucking house down. Like I'm still a bad person. Our actions matter. Our actions matter so much more than our words. Our actions are the only things that define who we are in the world. Nothing else makes a fucking difference but what we do.

I want to jump in real quick, though, because, you know, you and I talked in the past about, you know, you shouldn't be a felon forever, right? You shouldn't be a felon forever. We talked about that in the past, right? You know, your actions do dictate who you are. Right. But so do you being contrite about your actions, right? He's never going to be sorry that

he said this. Yeah, he'll never, he'll never try to apologize for this, and he's never going to try to change this. This is who he is. Yeah. You know, he'll never, he'll never try to fix this. He's never going to apologize for this and he's never going to try to change this. This is who he is. Yeah. You know, we talk about, you know, whether or not you're,

if you were a felon in the past, like, you know, like, can you be a changed person? Yes, you can be a changed person, but you have to step down that road. Yes. But there are also, and we've talked about this before,

there are also some crimes that are not forgivable. There are some crimes you don't get to come back from right i do believe that too you're scooping across right yeah yeah absolutely that is not a crime that is a requirement exactly yeah fuck you yeah two votes i'm on the show now permanent part fuck both of you fuck you three-way partnership best friends god damn it two to one there are some crimes you know this is gonna to get let's let's not

pretend anything else this sort of shit is just another this is just another brick in that wall that gets people killed right that it really is people will people will feel emboldened to pick on to marginalize to damage trans people trans people will continue to be the fucking whipping boys of a larger, broader community because people will feel like they are empowered now to be weird and shitty and mean-spirited and bullied.

And this will end lives. People will die. I got to tell you, there's no amount of contrite that matters when somebody's dead. There's no like, oh, because i do believe that like you're not a felon forever well i'll tell you what though if you fucking rape somebody

you are you're a felon forever you never come back from that for me like you're i don't care how sorry you are i don't care sure you get somebody killed i don't care how sorry you are and this guy doesn't even have the good sense to try to be sorry for that and people will die from this well and again and and to add to that like and i've talked about this on other shows like one of the reasons why this stuff is so important to me is i was a bully right not a physical bully because look at me but i was i was an emotional bully yeah and and that's with me every day that is with me every day and if i if i sit down and i go oh you know that's who me every day. That is with me every day. And if I sit down and I go, oh, you know, that's who I was,

but now I'm Mr. Social Justice and I'm so nice and I've got all these love letters from people telling how much they like my show and how much it means what I say. No, no, no. I remind myself all the time that you can't take back the hurt, right? You can't

put the feather, you know that story about you can't put the feathers back in the pillow, right? It's an old rabbinical story about this woman. That sounds Jewish as hell. Yeah, it really does. It's super Jewish. At the end of the story, do you stomp on a glass together or something? Yeah, pretty much.

How many golems does it take to get to the center of the pillow pop or whatever? Yeah, pretty much. How many golems does it take to get to the center of the pillow pop or whatever? That's a weird porn. I mean, get into it, but it's a weird porn. But yeah, I mean, you can never put that back. You can never unbreak

the people you break. You can never unhurt the people you hurt. And that includes playing devil's advocate. That includes playing host to bad, poisonous ideas, right? It's not just because, right, here's the thing. People like to throw their hands in the air and go, I'm just asking

questions, right? But if the question you're asking is whether our friend Ari Stillman deserves to serve in the military or whether, you know, we have a mutual listener who I didn't ask permission to use her name on air, but she is a member of the military service and she cannot be out as trans when she serves. And we've both met her. She's come to our shows. She's one of the most kind and wonderful and caring people. If the questions you're just asking are whether or not she deserves to have her job, whether or not she deserves to live her life openly and freely, then you're a fucking bad guy, right? And I'm really, really fucking tired of hearing excuses for these people, right? Excuses we wouldn't, if I subbed in the tweet of nine out

of 10 of these secular assholes, when I call them out with Joel Osteen, I'd get 9 million likes and 85 million comments being like, yeah, fuck Joel Osteen. And I'm like, oh no, Richard Dawkins said that. And everyone's like, whoa, Richie boy is good. No, let me explain what he meant. What he meant was what he meant. You see, you got to read it backwards. Do you have your decoder ring? You have your atheism decoder ringer on? that's what he meant. But, you know, like, I want to stop you because that's a fucking Trump thing. Like, this is never before in history that I can recall have I heard so frequently, well, I think what he meant was, what he is trying to do is, there is this idea that, like, from the outside, we can deduce his his motivations that trump's as if we cannot take him seriously as if the actions and the words that he uses for some reason somehow are not to be trusted even by the people that fucking support this guy well i don't even think it matters i don't care

what he meant was what did he do what did did he say? Yeah. Like, what did he like? I, well, I meant, well, I don't fucking care. This is what you did. Right. And this, this, and again, this applies to secular voices as well is, you know, all of a sudden these, and again, I, I just use Richard as an example. I'm not actually talking about talking. I'm just saying that it could be anybody using Eli Bosnick, right? You know, we have these people, these secular leaders, right? These people who are in position of secular leadership who, when you say atheist to some guy in the middle of the country, they think of this guy or girl. Sure.

Right? Right? If you say atheist, people think Dawkins and Harris and Maher and all those people. And people make up, they jump through all sorts of hoops, but we know they're good communicators. How come they're allowed to be bad communicators? How come Trump means what he says when he's a straight shooter, but then all of a sudden we have to decode him

like it's fucking Ovaltine time when he says something like this? Or we have to decode these secular leaders. They're actually, they're playing devil's advocate. Yeah, it's excuse me they've been doing this for for centuries for millennia with the bible though you know it's like sometimes it means what it says you can't you can't be gay because we'll fucking stone you to death and that's a real thing but sometimes he speaks in parables because it's a pick and choose society because it's always been pick and choose. It's always been we're going to decide what the best course of action for this is because we can just ad hoc, you know, after the fact, make it up.

Yeah, it's imposing our version of who we want Trump to be or whoever to be on him as if he as if as if he's this malleable. He's like, you know, like we treat him like a tabula rasa president, you know, like like some weird, you know, like we're just like he says something. And it's like, oh, well, what he meant was, you know, and then why? Why? OK, none of that makes any difference. There are real life effects. And that's all we need to look at and measure and evaluate. And the rest of it is a fucking distraction and an excuse.

And we got to stop doing that shit. I don't understand why we put up with it. We did. We do this with Obama. Did I be honest? Like, did we as the left, as people who generally speaking, generally supported Obama? I don't remember saying what I think he meant was. I don't think we had to because the man was fucking clear and articulate.

And he said what he meant. Right. And then he did those things. And then we had judged him based on those things. We see Trump doing this. He's making a big deal about the transgender thing. Is this smoke again? And I know we're not.

We're still like we said earlier with Tom said earlier, you said it. So you're still a bad person. Right. So you're still a bad person because you said it. And I don't want to get away from him not being a bad person because I think he's a bad person. But is this smoke and just like another, I mean, is this a magician's trick? Is he getting me to look up in the air while he switches cards? Because he does this all the time when he's under lots of scrutiny. Yeah. I mean, I've heard a lot of people say, you know, this is a distraction. This is a distraction. And there's a couple of problems with calling this a distraction. The first is it affects the lives and humanity of tens of thousands of people. So even if it was intended

for a distraction, calling it a distraction is reductive and problematic, right? Okay. You can't just be like, this is a, you know, if God, if Trump nukes China, we can't be like, nah, it's a distraction from the Russia investigation, even if it is right. The death and destruction of these people's lives matters. And the second thing is it's not working. I didn't forget about healthcare. I can, you didn't forget's not working i didn't forget about health care i can you didn't forget about russia i didn't forget about russia i can walk and chew gum at the same time i don't can you swallow 25 pieces before noon because there's an opening for there's an opening for the person who can do that yeah like the idea that we can't follow along with this is i'm sorry to me it's just absurd i don't know anyone is it though is

it because america's stupid i want to say that like america's stupid and distraction works distraction doesn't work on you it doesn't work on me but it works it works on a lot of people i really think it works man i'm distressed to say that i don't want it to be the case but i do think it's the case i do not believe if it if it is intentional distraction first of all it's going to come back to bite in a lot of ways but i do not believe anyone is so stupid to be that distracted i just but that isn't already fooled right yeah but but i want to i want tom to read out loud a statement by John McCain on this. This came out today.

It's specifically right after, I mean, well after Trump had already tweeted this stuff out. McCain came out and said this. So, Tom, can you read this? He said, quote, The president's tweet this morning regarding transgender Americans in the military is yet another example of why major policy announcements should not be made via Twitter. I like that. I like that he's making, well, I guess it's being retweeted. The statement was unclear.

The Department of Defense has already decided to allow currently serving transgender individuals to stay in the military, and many are serving honorably today. Any American who meets current medical and readiness standards should be allowed to continue serving. There is no reason for service members who are able to fight, train, and deploy to leave the military, regardless of their gender identity. We should all be guided by the principle that any American who wants to serve our country and is able to meet the standards should have the opportunity to do so and should be treated as the patriots they are. The Department of Defense is currently conducting a study on the medical obligations it would incur, the impact on military readiness, and related questions associated with the accession of transgender individuals who are not currently serving in uniform and wish to join the military.

I do not believe that any new policy decision is appropriate until that study is complete and thoroughly reviewed by the Department of Defense or military leadership in Congress. The Senate Armed Services Committee will continue to follow closely and conduct oversight on the issue of transgender individuals serving in the military. I think to summarize, he's like,

yeah, you can't, like you said earlier, not it. That's not how it works. A tweet does not change it. You can't just tweet it out. I do think to some degree that his intention here is to pander. This is a pander tweet. I think even Trump might understand, although maybe he doesn't. I think even Trump might understand that he's not going to accomplish a policy shift with this tweet.

that he's not going to accomplish a policy shift with this tweet. I think what he's going to do with this tweet is he is going to re-energize a base of people that he is losing and refocus a base of people that he is losing. He's losing his base day by day. And I think this is an attempt for him to give them something without giving them anything. Let me pitch you an alternate theory. And it's not mine. It's something that got proposed on Fox. The Trumps as a whole, the family, the entire family, are conspiracy theorists. He's been a conspiracy theorist, right? He started with the Central Park guys, right?

He took out the full page ad. We need the death penalty. There's the Central Park guys. Turned out he was wrong about that. He was a conspiracy theorist about that. Then he was a conspiracy theorist about Obama. Obama was born, he's a Muslim. He wasn't born here.

I want to see the birth certificate. He's a conspiracy theorist, right? We all have conspiracy theorists on our Facebook. What if he's just tweeting out whatever the fuck comes into his head, because that's what my aunt kathy does right my crazy aunt kathy who's a conspiracy theorist who posts minion memes and 9-11 truther memes and flat earth memes and stuff like that she doesn't have a meta plan as to how to influence the family god that's even more depressing i don't i'd rather be manipulated properly i don't think

he's a manipulator everyone Everyone who's ever known him has said that he's not a manipulator. They've said that he's scatterbrained. They've said that he's vastly undereducated. They've said that he's mean-spirited and small and selfish and has everything handed to him. The guy who wrote Art of the Deal

says that he never read a book. He's pretty sure he's never read a book. I don't think this guy is scheming anything. Hold on. Hold on. I bet he read Art of the Deal says that he never read a book. He's pretty sure he's never read a book. I don't think this guy is scheming anything. Hold on. Hold on. I bet he read Art of the Deal. Hold on. Scott Adams says he's a master manipulator. And Scott Adams can draw good cartoons. Yeah, he's good at it. Did you know working... I will say...

Did you guys know that working in a cubicle is frustrating? Did anyone else notice that? And if you're an engineer, you have like 12 pagers. Ha ha, pager. Pager humor. Well, you know, I sound like... I got a fax machine on my head. I sound like Garrison Keillor

slowly giving in to the heroine. So you should... The fucking balls it takes to talk about a master persuader to Sam Harris. Hey, you know who's actually a master persuader to Sam Harris. Hey, you know who's actually a master persuader? Sam fucking Harris, you asshole.

You fucking Howdy Doody cartoon melting in the sun. And I should point out, I tweeted about this, but a little side note, I've been a stage hypnotist for 10 years. I have met so many fucking Scott Adamses who walk up to me

after i do a trick with a trick book or writing something with my thumb and goes it's because you read my body language i actually know a little bit about persuasion and i'm like yeah i did i read your body language it's not that this word only it's not that this book only has seven long words and it's because i read your body language And that's why I work in bar mitzvahs. That's what I do. I'm a master of persuasion and I use it to tell which of the symbols on the starry back cards you chose. That's how

I decided to use my magic powers is which card you chose. That's what I've done with my life. I could be in Vegas right now getting blown by Asa, Akira, and Alina Lee but I'm here with you in Bayonne, New Jersey, celebrating Yoshmi's special day. Oh, God.

That sounds like a great time. God damn. That's why I'm doing this golf classic because i know people so well well eli thank you for joining us and uh and any of the hate mail we get we will forward directly to you eli if people are going to find you on the web where would they look uh scathing atheist uh skeptocrat god awful movies or the uh what i'm told is the secret, not a lot of people downloading it, secret gem of podcasting, citation needed, so exclusive,

not even allowed on Stitcher. That's how exclusive this podcast is. We were going to give it to the Stitcherites and we thought, you know what? Fuck them. Fuck them. This is just for the iTunes and the podcatcher motherfuckers.

So yeah, that's the one to check out. And I'll be dead on my birthday. So anyone who's upset, it is literally three months away. Three months away. Three months. So yeah. Fingers crossed.

Who's going to own more of the company? You are. Oh, you're going to be tied. You're going to have tied votes. That's going to suck. I'm sorry. That's going to suck. Yeah, we're going to have to bring your mom on.

Yeah. She'll have lots of free time. She'll be dead. Yeah. How much of your time do you take up? You're not Jewish, but that's pretty much 90%

of my mom's life. It's just me. Thanks for joining us, Eli. Eli, thank you, man. Appreciate it. Thanks for having me, guys. Ready to stick it in the glory hole? Get links to their Facebook, Twitter, and if you still use it, Google Plus account at their website, dissonancepod.com. If you need to be all discreet about it, contact them

by email at dissonance.podcast at gmail.com. Or you can call and leave a ransom message at 740-74-DOUBT. That's 740-743-6828. Want to hear Cognitive Dissonance commercial free and gain access to exclusive content, including full patron-only shows? Head to patreon.com forward slash dissonance pod and become a patron to support the show on a per episode basis. Love commercials? Not ready to become a patron? Give the guys a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher.

Or tell your buddies in the drunk tank about the show. We want to send a big sloppy glory hole to all the patrons and people who rate us. You fucking rock. Cecil. Yeah. Question for you. What's up, buddy? You know what's hip these days? Hip. Hip.

Hip? Hip. I'm a as a hip cat. Oh my god. Yes. Wow. Right? I know. I'm as a hip cat. Oh, my God. Yes. Wow. Right? I know. I'm not old at all. You know what they say?

When you get old, you don't want to break your hip. You know, before I intro the show, I just want to point out. Two safety words for longevity. Don't fall. You know, all the kids these days are listening to the Discos music. The Discos. And Jim Baker's looking to capitalize. The Bee Gees.

The Bee Gees are, you know, John Travolta was recently in a really exciting movie. It was only 40 fucking years old. What the fuck? This is from Right Wing Watch. Staying alive. Jim Baker promotes his new survival food buskets with a horrible Bee Gees cover. Can I just say, though, that's a great song. Staying alive.

Staying alive is an excellent song. Can I make a confession that shames and embarrasses me? Sure. I love the Saturday Night Fever album. I have listened to it dozens and dozens of times start to finish unironically tell me what's on there because I might buy it

more than a woman is on there I love every song Saturday Night Fever I love every single song it sounds like a great album actually Staying Alive, How Deep Is Your Love Night Fever Night Fever is a great album, actually. Staying Alive, How Deep Is Your Love, Night Fever. Oh, Night Fever is a great song.

Night Fever is a great song. More Than a Woman is a great song. I love how high that guy's voice is. Can't have you. That's a great song, too. That's a great song. So, Staying Alive. Staying Alive, my friend.

Very popular song nowadays on the YouTubes and the Pandoras and the Sirius XMs. You know, I put on my AM transmitter. Alright, so this is Jim Baker. This is fucking amazing. You old fuck. This show today is so

important. Is he holding that woman up? Was he holding her up? No. I'm sorry. I know it's a silly question. I'm not sure any of us could hold her up.

Yeah. She needs a sophisticated police system. Right? If a woman like that. That woman is as big as me. You know what I mean? Like that woman's as big as me.

She's a human super volcano. She needs, she needs help. She needs a human super volcano. She needs, she needs help. She needs a scooter. So do I. Horn is truly called of God to do what he's doing. Okay. So now what we see on stage,

and I got to describe this to you. Can you go left to right? Cause it's pretty amazing. Left to right, left, there's a counter where they sit and they do their little talking. There's people jammed around that little table where they do their talking. You cannot see Lori at this point.

But around the counter is several people. Bringing the top of the screen is buntings. American flag buntings on railings. Which are amazing. I just got to say, I love buntings. I would decorate my house in buntings. You have a buntings on railings which are amazing. I just gotta say I love buntings. I would decorate my house in buntings.

You have a bunting. I do have a bunting. I love them. I love them. You love buntings. So big fan of this set. Okay. There's a woman

getting ready to sing a song. There's an old timey car. That old timey car is worth money. Oh that is an old timey car. It just happens to have a billion buckets hanging on the back of it.

He has in his hand a bucket. Now, it's a stay-in-alive bucket. They're going to mention this later. 32 stay-in-alive buckets, 7 years for one person, 7,700 servings. It's $1,500. A $1,500 donation or more, plus shipping.

The buckets here, he has one in his hand and I guarantee it's empty and I'll tell you why. Listen later for the hollow sound it makes when he bangs it off the other bucket. I can tell that it's empty because Jim Baker is a slight, frail, shitty man.

He's holding a five-gallon bucket. Effortlessly holding it. In front of this big car is a multicolored group of people. Multi-ethnic group of people, I guess I would say. Yeah. All of which

share obesity in common. I will say, it's nice when we can all rally around Cool Ranch Doritos in this way. The guy on the far right, buttoning up his shirt. He's a thousand year old guitarist.

He has a guitar that looks like a mint. It does look like a mint. It looks like a thin mint. It's like a cool menth. Yeah, it's menthol, sort of. Yeah, delicious. So that's what we're looking at right now is a beautiful picture

of all these people standing in front of buckets. Devil does not want this show. They don't want us talking about angels. God woke me up and I felt the presence of God like I'd never felt. I love how he's moving that bucket. That bucket is full of nothing. Right? Nothing.

God woke him up and he felt the presence. You had a fucking erection for the first time. In a long time. It happens. It's a fucking, it's a morning erection. It happens. It's fucking morning wood is a normal thing when you're not 163 years old. Not when you're his age.

Right? Jim, I want you to start with, you know, do more food. Start with do more food. I want you to start with do more food. Start with do more food. I want you to start with do more food. Hey, Jim, I want you to start with do more food. Can you start with do more food? I feel like if God wakes me up to tell me shit, I remember verbatim because it's God. Hey, Jim, I want you to push more buckets.

I'm not getting enough donations, if you know what I mean. And this is a multi-level marketing scheme. Y'all, I got 10% in on this deal. And you just, I'm never, I need the money. I guess I just, I need the money. Build a new type of food. And so on the- On the type?

It's all the same type. Dehydrated shit in a bucket. What is the type? What is the new type? I guess it's in... I don't know. If you can put it in a bucket, it's bucket food. What the fuck? Is that the place

that it sits on the food pyramid? It's a bucket, right? It's like at the very top. If I remember the food pyramid right, you'll have to forgive me if I don't. At the very top, it's lobster. Then underneath that, it's steak and eggs, bacon. And then the next layer is like frosting.

It's mostly just chocolate frosting. It's a whole layer of frosting. You know what it is? I think you're wrong. I think it's lobster, then a layer of frosting, then steak, then a layer of frosting. See, it's a layer of frosting around the whole thing. Well, and sometimes there's that like...

There's a fruit layer. There's like a... Banana layer? The outside is fondant. I would like another monster steak banana frosting cake. You judge me, but I would eat that cake.

And at the bottom, it's buckets. That's what's got to be the foundation. You have to have a sturdy foundation. Because that shit's heavy. That cake will fall. Like Jim Baker, he has a a sturdy foundation. Because that shit's heavy. That cake will fall. Like Jim Baker. He has a sturdy moral foundation. Calls right there.

Right there. See, staying alive. And this is the first time in history there's ever been a 30-year shelf life food. This is what got me. This is the first time in history that there's ever been 30-year shelf life food. This is what God... This is the first time in history that there's ever been 30 year shelf life food. I don't think that's a real statement. Yeah. He just completely

made that up. I think like honey is fucking shelf stable for thousands of years. Didn't they find it in like old timey buckets and shit? Like Jim Baker buckets from back... From like ancient Egypt. From the Parthenon. Honey just is like, fuck you.

I'm not going bad. I'm fucking honey. This honey will last too long. And I'm just saying Armageddon. There's some guy in Pompeii is like, you guys, you're gonna want the honey. I know there's a lot of people

making rumblings about the mountain rumbling. Actually, what you're going to need is this igloo. Do you smoke? No. You will. You will. Oh, Pompeii jokes. Suck it.

Topical as fuck. Odd is saying to me, and we'll find out. Remember when the apocalypse expired after 30 years? It's just like a 30-year... It's like a locust.

There's like a 17-year locust. There's like a 30-year apocalypse. Yeah, I'm glad that we can wait it out for 30 years. It's the end of the world. And you're like, oh, I'm glad that's over. First off, it's only seven years.

You pay $1,500, you get seven years for one person. That's 7,700 servings or whatever. So in 23 years, you have to buy, if you haven't had an apocalypse, you have to buy more buckets, right? Yeah. Because they're good for 30, 23 are up, it's worth seven. Because they're good for 30, 23 are up. It's worth seven. So you've got to buy more buskets at 23 years if the apocalypse hasn't happened yet.

Right? Isn't that, that's what this, this, so. Yeah. I feel like his business plan kind of sucks. What he should have is eight year shelf life. So every year you have to buy more seven year buckets. What he should be doing is selling like Marie Callender's meals that expire tomorrow. So they keep on sending them every day. What he should do is instead of selling buckets for after the apocalypse, he should be selling the best last meal you can get today.

I think that there's something there. There's something there. Look, here's a deal. I'm going to sell you lobster today because I say that the apocalypse is tomorrow. So pay me $70. I will ship a lobster dinner to you so you can enjoy your last night on Earth. And then tomorrow when you say it wasn't our last night, be like, no, it's tonight. You need another lobster dinner.

Give me $70. Here's your lobster dinner. And then I keep beating you. Eventually you become a lobster. And then I keep beating you. Eventually you become a lobster. And then I just harvest you and sell you. Oh, we're just, how do I get to the bathroom?

Oh, it's through the Thermidor. Actually. Third, third Thermidor on the left. Just a lobster. Big old claws. I think there's a business plan there.

It's like a hello, fresh model, but it's like last, last night on earth, last night on earth, they deliver plan there. It's like a HelloFresh model, but it's like last night on Earth. They deliver every day. It's extravagant. It's like full of just fucking sturgeon caviar and shit. And it's a million calories, just the shittiest stuff

you could possibly... We can call it goat in a box. You're just scooping butter and parmesan into your face with a substrate of some sort of starch underneath it for breakfast. I'm just going to have black truffles. That's what I'm just in a bowl. All you're doing is just holding it over your mouth and shaving them into your

mouth. You know, big giant flakes to draft black truffles. You have to dust them off yourself. Right. I'm just going to lick this fucking jar of saffron. Everything's covered in gold. You have to dust them off yourself. Right. Every day. I'm just going to lick this fucking jar of saffron. You're fucking.

Everything's covered in gold leaf. You have a steak, like a dry aged steak covered in gold leaf. Sous vide to protect. Oh, my God. It should be. It should be like last night on Earth. Allen Brothers gout in a box program. Right. You'll find out if I hear from God or not because

one of these days. How the fuck would we know? Jesus, you fool. We're going to be. We're in the last days. Well, you are. You're a fucking million. Who are you looking at? He's like looking off into the middle distance at this

point. Years i spent in prison wait what did he say all those are gonna be we're in the last days and the years i spent in prison god showed me that i was a criminal when i was uh i was people out of money the years i spent in prison I love that he can look out into his audience. I know. I love that he can look out in his audience and be like, look, I spent a lot of years in prison for fraud. But you should believe me now because I'm less fraudulent than I was before I was caught being a fraud. I don't know how anybody looks at it,

but you know what? That's the problem with sin and salvation. Yeah. Oh yeah. The sin and salvation model lends itself to exploitation by justice. Kind of guy, right? I don't believe in sin and I don't believe in salvation.

I think if you fuck some shit up, you owe somebody an apology, right? And there's some shit you can't unfuck. And that's that. There's no sins and there's no salvation. There's no like, I done did wrong and I feel totes bad about it. You fuck me over?

If you fuck me over bad enough, there's no such thing as salvation. The end. That's it. There's no fucking, but there's an endless strikes rule in their fucking ballgame, right? You can keep fucking up, and as long as you're totally sorry in the right direction, generally speaking, that's upward. Right. Then everybody gets to forgive you, and that's that. And everyone has to forgive you.

Because if God will forgive you, how can I not forgive you? And that's bullshit. Yeah. Because I look at them like, you're fraud. You are never trustworthy again you have stolen from people you are a thief they also have another get out of jail free card and that's the devil made me do it right yeah exactly so they have a second they have two tempted yeah they have two get out of jail free cards i was tempted by the devil

it wasn't me yeah wasn't me being weak it was i was tempted by the devil. It wasn't me. It wasn't me being weak. I was tempted by the devil. And then I said I was sorry to God and God forgave me. And now... And so you have to as well. Yeah. Because, you know, and embedded in all that, if you're somebody that's big, well, I want God to forgive me.

Yeah. Well, so how do I not forgive you? Right. And it's like, I can't forgive you, Cesar. If you aren't somebody that hurt me, I can't forgive you. You didn't hurt me. I don't have that power. Like, that's how our relationship works. I can only forgive you for the things you do that hurt me.

Sure, exactly. That's how it should work. That's how it should work, right? Yeah. Like, if you go off and hurt somebody else, I can't forgive you. I got nothing to do with it. you go off and hurt somebody else i can't forgive you i don't i got nothing to do with it revelation and i'm telling you almost all of it is already we're we're gonna see the ends the end of time and that's where we are right now okay come on i don't want to make sure i'm

eating dehydrated garbage while that happens i just genuinely don't understand at all i really don't like i mean you see he is saying it's the end of time who cares you're gonna be dead like no matter how much fucking freeze-dry shit you shove down your gullet you're still gonna die i i love too that like we have the food what about the water like really because like the most the more susceptible we have to rehydrate it and the more susceptible infrastructure problem is not the food problem. You can live a long time without food. Water is a real big fucking deal in an apocalypse. It's not like, well, I'm just going to go over here to the tap and I'm going to open it up and I'm going to buy water because somehow the water lines and still like the water companies like, well, it's still fine.

This is just stealing from people different. Yeah, because you're absolutely right like what are you going to do and even even if you have a farmhouse with a well it's not an old-timey well yeah it's an electric well without electricity right you don't have water but you know lower a basket in there and pull a bucket out and then you're gonna like you can't like in most of those things it's a fucking pipe that goes all the way down. It's not like there's a fucking bucket. You can't get anything down there.

Will you sip on it like a straw? Sing this just a little bit. All right, band. Play it. Oh, here they go. Okay, now. This is going to be amazing. This is going to be amazing.

This is a Stayin' Alive. Now, they didn't do much. They're just going to say Stayin' Alive a lot, but there is one changed lyric. Come on, let's get excited now. You know you like it. You know you're having fun.

Come on. Yeah, that was enthusiastic. You know you like it. You know you like it. You know you're having fun. You know you like it. What are you talking about? I don't know if I like it yet.

Right? You got to give it a minute. Put it in slow and we'll make a decision down the road. I don't know yet. Some of you stand up. Come on. The audience is so old they can't stand up. I'm staying alive.

Staying alive. Staying alive buckets. I'm staying alive. Staying alive. I'm staying alive. And they're doing a terrible job. Staying alive buckets. And they're singing. Stay alive. And they're doing a terrible job. Stay alive buckets. Stay alive.

I love that they go into a swing choir version here in a second. Give it a second. This is the worst. Here we go. Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive. I'm staying alive. I'm staying alive.

I'm staying alive. I'm staying alive. I'm staying alive. I'm staying alive. Did he say pizza or peace? I think he said I got my pizza. I think he says peace. I think he just put a little eh on it. I think he's a pizza. Not pizza. Piece of what? Peace. Peace. Oh, like inner peace?

I have peace. Not like a gun? Like I got my peace. I got my stay alive. I got my pizza. But pizza. Pizza. That's amazing. I love the I got my food. That's fucking amazing. Right Wing Watch says I got my pizza. No, it's not pizza.

I'm just saying that's what Right Wing Watch has got a sense of humor like I do. I think he says peace. That looks like it looks like in the staying alive bucket. It's just like fucking a bowl of garbage, a bowl of garbage, a bowl of garbage and pancakes. So I don't see pizza in there.

You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. So I want to set this up. All right. This is Dave coach.

The coach? Not a coach. He actually has a show that he's doing, Pass the Salt Live. This was on the 21st. Pass the Salt? I don't get it. I don't either.

Anyway, he's talking in this show, and this was quoted on Night Right when we watched, but they didn't do a full, like, cut out the video and share it. They just linked to this time code. And so I just want to play him talking about how we didn't land on

the moon, but he's not actually saying we didn't land on the moon. So I just want to play. But I want to just talk about the argument that they come up with, which is great. Oh, I heard he speaks in tongues. Be careful. Hey, Jared, there's where I want you to be right there. I'm just going to manipulate his guy. I'll get this site to you all, Jared, there's where I want you to be right there. Okay, so now he's going to manipulate his guy.

I'll get this site to you all later. I haven't even looked at it. Stop right there. He hasn't even looked at it. Good. Thanks, buddy. You're going right there. Start right there, Jared. I'm glad he spent so much time preparing. I want you to think about this. This is not what the show's about, okay? So right wing watch is going to say, Coach Dave said we didn't land on the moon. That's not what I'm saying, okay?

What the best part was is that I think the line from right wing watch was, Coach Dave says we didn't land on the moon that's not what i'm saying okay what the best part was is that i think the line from right wing watch was coach dave says we didn't land on the moon like i i genuinely think because it was on like the friday wrap-up right i'm pretty sure the line was exactly what exactly what he said yeah everyone why they claimed to have walked on the moon on the very first attempt even though right here on earth mount everest and south pole took numerous tries before he says he says like the first time the very first attempt well you know i think a lot more is at stake for these others that failed when you could just quit and not die right yeah and be like oh i'm still on fucking earth yeah right i'm not gonna die and it's it's

also like you know when you get to everest okay well you know i mean it's it's it's like it's the concerted efforts of a handful of people versus nasa which is the concerted efforts of a massive team of engineers and scientists and a governmental organization that's all committed to the success of this one objective yeah it's and- Yeah, they weren't beating the bush for fucking Sherpas to go to the moon. Right. You know what I mean? I've got to get to the top of the murder horn.

Like, okay. Awesome. Yeah. And like the same is true of like the South Pole. Like, yeah. I mean, the South Pole took a bunch of times to get there because, you know, South Pole is super fucking hard to reach

before you have, you know, real technology. 1911. We just looked it up. 1911. It's like, yeah, all right, great. Fucking World War I ye olde technology. There's a massive difference between the ye olde 1911 technology and the 1960s technology. Absolutely.

There's orders of magnitudes of difference. Allegedly, a company is accomplishing this amazing feat with antiquated 1960s technology, while today a cell phone has one million times the computing power than all of NASA did back then. Yeah, so what? Yeah, so yeah, computing power goes by. There's a law. There's a specific law, right? Yeah, where it just it doubles after a certain amount of time because's just, we can figure out how to make shit smaller and faster. No, but I read

something not that long ago. It's like, yeah, okay, if you're just looking at something like computing power, fine, but the technology that got us to the moon is just different than what you have in your cell phone. It's just different. Just because you have the

power doesn't mean it's not the same. Those things don't interrelate in a one-to-one correlation. It's just not the same thing. Your cell phone is a million times more powerful than any of the computers they had back then.

That's irrelevant. 50 years later, the farthest an astronaut can travel from Earth to the moon is only 1 one thousandth of a distance. I don't even know that that's true. I don't know that that's true. But even if it is, it's because all the stuff that we want is nearby and we don't want to spend the money to go to the moon. Yeah, I take issue with that can travel like, yeah. I mean, I feel like if we said, OK, let's get back to the moon, we would get back to the moon.

We just do it. Right? Like we landed robots on Mars that drive around and talk back to us. Like we could get back to the moon. It's just we're not trying to. And I think that there is a group of, I think China's going to go there next. I thought I heard that there was going to be an expedition

from China to the moon. That they're going to go to the moon. Yeah. Well, that's like bully for them. Like put the, you know, what you can do versus what you do do is a matter of how you resource yourself, right? How we resource our objectives has more to do with what we accomplish

than our overall like adaptability or is that the right word? Like how possible something is for us has more to do with how we resource our objectives than it does, you know, whether or not something is possible. But isn't this, isn't this all this entire paragraph,

just classic conspiracy theorist garbage where it's like, we're going to take a bunch of different facts that don't really correlate with each other. And just, and whether or not they're facts or not, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know whether today's cell phone has 1 million times. I wouldn't be surprised if it does the computing power of all on NASA. I don't know if that's true. 50 years later. And it says one, 1000 to the distance. I don't know if that's true either. If I could jump 30 inches, it doesn't mean that every time I jump, I have to jump 30 inches it doesn't mean that every time i jump i have to jump 30 inches like that

would be weird and like i mean like not fruitful all the time like you just bang your head right i mean bizarre you'd fucking like bouncing off mushrooms and banging about yeah i also want to point out that he's saying like you know right wing watch is gonna say i didn't say that we but what he's quoting is claimed allegedly yes you know like yeah yeah i mean the the language here very clearly suggests that you feel that the claim that that the moon landing is dubious sure it's built into the language so here's some quotes all right okay some quotes. Arthur Schopenhauer said. All truth passes through three stages. First, it's ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident.

So what if somebody said that? Yeah. I mean, do I think that there is some general truth to think? Yeah, maybe it's kind of a clever quote. Do I think it's true? Why would that necessarily be a true thing? Because I think that what this allows, I think conspiracy theorists love this. And I think the reason why they love it is because they get to say, Right, we're in this stage.

We're ridiculed. We're ridiculed. Yeah. And so that makes everything that's ridiculous, somehow it could possibly be true some point right it just it just makes me crazy when people quote shit like this because they're like well and we know that that's true because arthur schopenhauer said like the fuck is arthur schopenhauer why is this is this axiomatically true like do i just know

that because arthur fucking schopenhauer said this that this is how truth works yeah that there are stages to truth? What is it? Fucking Elizabeth Kubler-Gross' fucking stages of grief? Are you fucking kidding me? George Orwell said, screw on down, Jared. In an age of universal deceit,

telling the truth is a revolutionary act. Whoever controls the past controls the future. Another great quote mine, too, for conspiracy theorists. Right. Because you're saying someone else controls the narrative. But I know I know that there is a universal deceit.

Truth telling is I'm a revolutionary. And whoever controls the narrative is the bad guy yeah right and i love it you have to start off with the universal deceit where so we starting off with the supposition that we are in an age of universal deceit in order for the george orwell who's just a fucking author yeah he's just an author he's not some fucking what sage who just knows all the truths yeah he just guy's just a guy who wrote a book. Just want to see who was Carl Sagan. Billions and billions, right?

Carl Sagan said one of the saddest lessons of history is this. If we've been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It's simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we have been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. And what isl sagan talking about in there i mean this is from that's from his book uh demon haunted world demon haunted world is very anti-religious right yep very much anti-conspiracy theory yep but somehow conspiracy theorists are going to use this as an evidence. Yeah, if you quote mine it, right? If you quote mine it.

But again, like, what is the purpose of all these quotes? Again, I like Carl Sagan, but just because Carl Sagan said something does not make it a truth, right? We still have to evaluate whether or not it's true and whether or not it applies to your claim. Yeah. Right? whether or not it applies to your claim. Yeah. Right? And really, this quote is really nothing more than just another way to summarize things that we know about human psychology, right?

This is, we know, it's fucking, there's nothing unusual or particularly interesting about this aspect of human psychology. We know that we hold on to beliefs in spite of evidence. I forget what the name for this is, but there's a name for it. We know that we double down on beliefs despite evidence to the contrary. We know that it is difficult psychologically and emotionally for us to let go of cherished long-held beliefs. There's nothing particularly interesting or revelatory about that. Yeah. So who cares my goodness going down jared mark twain says it's easier to fool people than to convince them that they've been fooled

mark twain also anti-religious okay we can get rid of that baby we can get rid of that there's a battle for truth there's a battle for truth justice justice, and the American way, and it is raging. But, baby, is it ever raging? Anybody want to jump in here? Are you kidding me? Truth, justice, and the American way? Wait, Superman. I didn't want to jump in here. We hear it all the time.

It's very obvious when you see the unbelievers saying that God is a myth, that Jesus never existed. And it's like, are you kidding me i said you count your calendar days according to his birth i said we and then i bring him to the socrates aristotle and plato and oh yeah yeah greek philosophers from 500 and something bc that we have no original manuscripts on yet we possess over 20 000000 original manuscripts, not only of Christ, but of his resurrection. What the fuck are you talking about? There's 20,000 manuscripts?

I'm not a scholar here, but in the Bible, none of those books were written by Jesus. Yeah. Jesus spent a lot of time Jesus had a manuscript, he just sent it into the publisher they're like

I'm not sure is he like the ye olde version of JK Rowling sitting on fucking food stamps in a coffee shop writing out the fucking sermon on the mound he's like Bart Simpson I will not walk on water

over and over and over again. So we'd like to thank our patrons. We don't have a lot of patrons here to thank this week. We want to thank, of course, all our patrons who donate to the show, but we want to thank our new patrons, Cynthia, Antonio, and Kevin.

Thanks so much for your generous donations. Remember that you can donate to the show on a per episode basis. Go to patreon.com. You can search for us, or you can go to patreon.com slash dissonancepod. You can go to our website, dissonancepod.com and donate on a per-episode basis to the show. You get content a little

early, and you'll be getting some free stuff with your patronage. So we want to talk about a little bit of email that we got. We got a message from Micah, and Micah says, and someone someone else sent a message in too. We were making jokes about the moon and going to the moon and laughing about the moon. The moon, I guess, has helium-3 among other resources. Helium-3 is notably as one of the best fusionable materials and stands as a huge source of energy as soon as we get fusion reactors working.

Yeah. All right. So once we get cold fusion weighing out... Can I laugh until then? Am I allowed to laugh until we get fusion? Right. Or do I have to just hold off? Well, to be fair, we have fusion,

but it just kills everybody. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's a different kind of fusion. Yeah, that's a different kind of fusion. It doesn't power cities. Yeah, that's a different kind of fusion. That's an Asian fusion. We got a... Now, this limerick was sent in by two people while reading Aaron's version.

There once was a girl named Jill who used dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina in North Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil. Bits of her tits? That's terrible. That is terrible. Libbers are so misogynist. They really are.

They're so terrible. Send us a one that's misandrist. Yeah. Send us a misandrist one. Is that how you would say that? Yeah. Send us one like that. Because these are like,

I mean, like, they're all like, but they're all like so fucking crazy. Send us one that is against guys rather than against girls. We'd like to hear one of those. We got a message from Colette and Colette was in Edinburgh. Colette

was one of the lovely people there that I needed a translator for. As I recall, everything she said, I looked at her and I said, what? I remember it was just what it was an accent thing. Neither of us. I think she was that that was was that was that at the bar full of dogs that we went to?

Or was that? Remember, there's the pub with dogs in it. The first one we went to the two skeptics events. Yeah, no, it was not the one with dogs in it. Edinburgh was the one. So was this Edinburgh? This is. Yeah. No, this is Edinburgh. So this is the one where dogs in it. Edinburgh was the one. Was this Edinburgh? This is, yeah.

Or was this Glasgow? No, this is Edinburgh. So this is the one where there wasn't a lot of people. Oh. Oh, there was a lot of people. And then there wasn't a lot of people. Then they recognized. That one.

But Collette was there. And there was a couple other people there. Stuart was there. And Collette says, I found this absolutely astounding photo for a secretary for Brexit, David Davis? David Davis? Whose initials are DD. And basically, this politician has two women next to him, and they both are large breasticles. And it says, it says, it says it's double D for me.

Well, it's certainly double D for the lady on the right. It's definitely double D. Maybe, you know, maybe, I don't know. That's a strong C for the lady on the left.

I don't know. Maybe, maybe a single D. Maybe a single D. You're right. You're right. There's no, yeah.

It's certainly not like a double J. They are certainly not the size. It's not like a, a Jonah Jameson. Right. Yeah. Right. They're not, they're not like a double J. They are certainly not the size. It's not like a Jonah Jameson. Right. They're not touching the navel. We'll post the image on this week's show notes. Thank you, Colette.

Thank you. And thank you for being one of the few people to visit us. I hope we have that many people in Australia when we go. I feel like if all of Australia shows up, we can get a pretty good turnout. We can get like six people that like the show. We got a message. This is from Phil. And Phil put in,

Phil sent this. This is a take on the Trump stakes. It's so funny. It's very funny. We're going to put it on this week's show notes. So check it out. It's great. We got a message from Hugo and Hugo asks

which is a bigger garbage state because his girlfriend lives in one and he lives in another, Michigan or Georgia man it's hard because it depends on where in Michigan, Michigan's got some shit Detroit or Flint I mean that's basically the fucking

you're better off living in a fucking undersea vent, if you're by like Grand Rapids though, that's not a terrible city. Grand Rapids is nice. The Benton Harbor, Saugatuck, St. Joe area, those are all nice. Central Michigan where you and I go shooting? Are you fucking kidding me? That's banjo music.

Although fucking everything in Georgia is banjo music and there's a bunch of swass down there. Isn't Atlanta okay? I don't know. I've only been through there once. I feel like, alright, here's the thing. Most of Michigan is terrible. Yeah. Most of Georgia is terrible. You should move in

with other people. Yeah. See if there's another state you can go to? We got a message from Aaron and Aaron says, so let me get this straight. You would leave if you saw a dude busting out a turd into the urinal? What dates are you guys in Australia? Thanks, Aaron. Hope to

see you there. We will be at Skepticon in Australia. We will in November. It's on the 17th, 18th, and 19th, right? Yeah, the 18th and the 19th, I think, is when it is. 17th, is that Friday before? Yeah, right. Yeah, so I think it might start that Friday evening, but we'll have more clarity on all this stuff that's going to be happening when our show is going to be happening.

We'll be down there with the GAM scathing crew. They'll be doing their own show. We'll be hanging out with them. I'm sure for a lot of it, there's going to be a bunch of great people there. So check it out. Um, get your tickets soon. And, uh, and if you're a fan of the show, please come because we want to fill the room up with people who like the show and I will say this they're going to put us on the stage there and man if they've never heard the show they're going to hear it now that's going to be rough

it's going to be great if you like the show and you're in Australia we'd love to meet you I got a message from this is from a music connoisseur a triggered hipster is the title of the homosexual variety he says and that's his own admission not mine

I'm not just saying that because he is I'm saying he says it's pronounced bone-ever not bon-iver I've only ever heard one song and it was a remake of someone else's song

I think I'm pretty sure so I don't know anything about him but but I'm sorry I didn't mean to I didn't mean to disparage Boneyver we got a message from Matt and Matt Matt sent us a message before he was going to come to the states maybe visit us he hadn't had an opportunity he's from Australia

he was hoping he could catch us while we were in Australia at Skepticon he's not going to be there, so Matt, we're going to miss you. But have fun in Antarctica. I want to say this real quick, Matt. Honestly, one of my absolute dreams when we started this show a long time ago was to have our voices heard on every

continent across the world. The idea that you are listening to this show in Antarctica pleases me to absolutely no end. That's it. Our fucking stupid ass voices have now been heard on every continent on the goddamn globe

and I could not be happier. That actually filled a small dream of mine. So thank you for listening to the show. Sorry we can't run into you. We got a message from Declan and Declan says, I'm catching up on last week's episode. Guys, you are seriously flatting yourselves

if you think that people listening to your show have a ball movement every day. That's fair. Yeah, that's true. We have another super deluxe. This is so good. This is from a happy patron. Oh my gosh, this is Pat Robertson interviewing Donald Trump.

And it's so surreal. It's so bizarre. That super deluxe guy. Does a great job. Yeah. We should try to get him on the show. We should. So funny.

So funny. That's worth doing. Yeah. So funny. We should look to see if we can get him on the show. But very, very funny. So we want to thank Eli Bosnick for joining us tonight. Do we really want to thank Eli?

I feel like that's a bad precedent to set. The super group that is Citation Needed and he's also part of Scathing Atheist, Godawful Movies, and The Skeptocrat as well as his own blog. We'll put links to all that on this week's show notes.

Thanks, Eli, for joining us. Patrons got an extended cut of that but we wound up getting a lot of tape out of Eli. We had a long conversation. So thank you, Eli, for joining us. He really did a great job. It was a pleasure to talk to him. Don't tell him I said that.

So that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water downward spiral, brain dead pan, sales pitch, late night info-docutainment. brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens

churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive. Doubt even this.

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