Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 376: Habeas Humor

Episode Date: September 4, 2017

This week Tom and Cecil discuss recent news about Nazi tactics, Catholic Archbishops, and ugly liberal women. Tom applies to become the Uganda Porn Detector, and the guys have Charone from the Podcast Habeas Humor on the show! You can find her work below.        The guys also appear on Poorly Summarized, this week. You can find that episode below:  Stories covered in episode:  Other content: 

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com right now and enter GLORY, the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout, you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome at. This is episode 376 of Cognitive Distance. A little later on today, we are going to be joined by Sharon from the Habeas Humor podcast. joined by Sharon from the Habeas Humor podcast. But before we get to that, I want to mention that at the end of the show, we are going to be addressing the numerous emails and concerns and pleas and beggings and pleadings from the interview that we had last week with Michael Wood Jr. You know, there were a lot of things that were said in that interview that we were unprepared to deal with at the moment. And also there's another,

there's a, there's a bulk of that interview, the sound with the connection that we had. We sometimes lost him. And then there was also sometimes that like his voice would like dip. So we missed some things. So while I was editing, I was like,

he said, what? So like, there's a little bit of stuff in there that we have to address. So many, we want to talk about that. Stay tuned to the end have to address. So we want to talk about that. Stay tuned to the end of the show. We're going to talk about that.

But first, Cecil, we've got some stories. Yeah, we do. Let's chit chat. This is from the Joe My God blog. Scam evangelicals. I like that term. That's pretty good. I like that.

It's hard to write. I don't know that you, that would be a difficult, the way this is written, that would be a difficult spelling bee word. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Use it in a sentence. Jim Baker. That's not a sentence, but way this is written, that would be a difficult spelling bee word. Right? Yeah. Use it in a sentence. Jim Baker. That's not a sentence, but it works, actually.

It works fine. Scam evangelicals, I like saying it. I just do. Failed to turn away Hurricane Harvey. Yeah, no shit. Because, you know, wishing at the sky doesn't change how much rain falls from it. Sure. In any direction, as it turns out you can't

pray for rain to go go away and come again perhaps another day that's not it's not a possibility just like you can't pray for rain to show up during a time of drought rain just is there when it's there yeah doesn't matter how much you hope for it and in what direction you pointed your fucking heart or whatever. But it's interesting because some of these people that they quote are trying to get the storm to stop. And so they do this to every storm. And every time there's a hit, they scream out and call out, hey, there's a hit. There's a hit. Look at what I made this storm turn away.

I made this storm move. I made this storm do this. But they clearly did it to this one. And this was like, fuck you. I'm a bus motherfucker. Wouldn't there just not be storms if God didn't want there to be storms? It's not like God's like, I know there's storms that keep popping up out of nowhere. Get out of here, storm.

Like what? I keep chewing them away with my broom, but they keep on coming back to all my followers, wherever they go. It's literally a mind-bogglingly stupid way to look at the world. That God created a world and then created the conditions for storms. Sure. world and then created the conditions for storms. Sure. And then doesn't care where they show up unless the right people say, oh, not over here.

There's a whole bunch of them. There has to be a whole bunch of them. And they all have to be very, very earnest when they pray at the sky. Well, they're so earnest. I want to read it. I want to read a couple of these. So this is from Anne Gramlotz. She said, we remember when you watched your disciples struggling in the storm on Galilee then walked across the water

climbed into their boat when they called out to you because the water, fuck that called out to you and commanded the wind and waves to be still really quickly because he walked over there it says he commanded the wind and waves to be still but beforehand he walked over

so now when he's walking can a wave trip him when he's walking on the water is it like a hazard? Is it like when you're playing Mario, actually playing Donkey Kong years ago when you had to jump over the barrels? You know what I mean? And maybe he just gets like one of those hammers from the side and he's squashing. His hands are moving up and down and he's squashing the waves as he makes his way out there. Because he clearly didn't care until he got to the boat to calm it.

He was on the way out there ninja jumping over all these things. Why get in the boat at all? For you, this is solid land. The boat would be like, yeah, I'm good. I don't need the boat. I'm already walking on the, what the fuck is the boat doing for me?

The boat would be less secure in a storm than the water that you could just, it doesn't make it. So she says, I commanded the wind and waves to be still. And they obeyed. As Hurricane Harvey threatens the Gulf area, we are asking you to look on the residents of the Gulf area. Yeah, I'm going to look at them drowning. Yeah, no kidding. We cry out to you on their behalf.

We know that the wind and the waves still know your voice, as if they would have forgotten it. Command them to be still, please, for the glory of your great name. I wonder if after they're all said and done, they say, yeah, well, we stopped the rain. Yeah, we stopped it. After 52 inches of rain. It could have been 70. Could have been 70, but I wrote a little tweet to God. Yeah, this is the worst storm in the entire history of the continental United States,

but it could have been more. Could have been more worse. Worse. It could have been 52 inches of lightning. Could have been 52 inches of radium. Could have been a lot worse. 52 inches of ozone. Now, Frank Amedia is the idiot who thought he stopped a tsunami, but probably didn't. He says,

I call the intercessors and prayer warriors to declare and decree that the fury of this storm be dissipated. It's fair. We declare that the apex be diverted, that the turbulent forces of the storm turn upon themselves and the four

winds of heaven compress it, suppress it, and depress it. That sounds like what you do to a hooker. You're just pushing her head real hard into the bed. I can't breathe. Shut up. I paid for this. God of Elijah, declare yourself and show your majesty to all the earth.

In the name of the Lord who calms the storm or did not calm the storm. Jesus Christ be glorified. All right. Man, this stuff is just I don't want to read anymore. It's just fucking hilarious gibberish because it didn't work. Well, again, though, this is seeding this

what they do is they throw these seeds out wherever they can, whenever there's a storm, whenever there's a crisis, whenever there's anything. I mean, I bet these people are all praying against fucking North Korea. Every single thing that happens in the news,

they pray about. And then when something gets thwarted, they say, they put that in the yes pile and they shuffle all those other pages off the desk. And so they just have a giant yes pile of all the shit that they prayed for. And somehow things didn't turn out the way people thought they would. What do you, what do you think on it?

I know, I know this is just guessing, but like, what do you think when these guys pray earnestly and then the storm just fucking nails it? Like, what do you think they think of? Were they, were they just like, Oh, these people don't care. I don't think the people. Like, what do you think they think? Or are they just like, oh, jeez. These people don't care.

I don't think the people that are running this care. I think they probably recognize that their hit rate is probably abysmal. You think this is self-evident to them. I think it's self-evident to them, but they will call out all the wins because they want to point out to everybody how many times I've won.

So you think they are scamming? I think that they... Intentionally. I mean, the more storms I have on my resume, the better off I'm going to be. The better off... It's a difficult resume, I think.

Yeah. I mean, the cool thing is though you can do a lot of cool things with the eye of the hurricane for the bullet points as you work your way down. I said, who's thing is, is though you can do a lot of cool things with like the eye of the hurricane for the bullet points. I said, who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. Stories from RT.com. A porn detector to combat lesbianism and defilement in Uganda.

Super unlikely. Let me read a little piece of this. They're going to send $88,000 porn detection machines to Uganda to spread, to halt the spread of one of the deadliest moral diseases, according to the ethics minister. And the ethics minister later said that pornography, he blamed pornography for escalating cases of drug abuse among youths, incest, teen pregnancy and abortion, homosexuality and lesbianism, because those are different. And then just defilement. Yeah. I don't know what defilement means. Sounds awesome. But. And then just defilement. Yeah. I don't know what defilement means.

Sounds awesome. But I am definitely Googling it later. Sounds great. Sounds really good. And here's why I wanted to talk about this. Probably something to do. This motherfucker's getting scammed. 88,000 bucks a pop.

You know what it is. There's no porn detector. Do you remember when they had the Iraq bomb detectors? Yeah. And they were just dowsing rods? This is the same thing except for it's just two big cocks. It's just a teenage boy. You just carry it.

And it's like a Geiger counter. When it gets near the porn, you just hear... Porn detector. It would go off constantly. It's 2017. A porn detector in this room would fucking catch on fire right now.

It'd be like one of those things you slide your phone through and it comes out a smoking husk on the other side. It's like, sorry, we found the porn. What is a porn detector is a teenager. Like, are you kidding me? I will do all the porn. I'll $88,000 a year. Yeah. I'll do all the porn detecting you need.

Oh, is that porn? I'll get back to you. Yeah. Let me check. I got to close my door. I'm just saying I could jerk off 40 hours a week.

I could make that work. I could make that work. You fucking got like a whole like wall full of flashlights. What am I going to go for today? Yeah. I'm going to go for the one

that looks like Yoda's lightsaber. Fuck Yoda in the mouth. I'd fuck him in a wrinkle. If you're going to fuck Yoda, fuck him right in a wrinkle. In the mouth you should put it. Not in the wrinkles. I think it's a disgrace.

And I say that. And I say that. and I say that, and that's something that Nazi Germany would have done and did do. I think it's a disgrace. That information that was false and fake and never happened got released to the public. This is from Right Wing Watch.

This is Lance Wallaby. The left is using Nazi tactics and basic voodoo hypnotism. Basic voodoo. To demonize Trump. You know, the problem with that basic voodoo hypnotism is all the potions taste like pumpkin spice. Yeah. That's terrible. What you need to do is you need to get advanced voodoo

hypnotism. It's a different source book, but it's way better. You up your dice from D10 to D12. It's just better all around. around you know when you have the basic voodoo hypnotism you just got to mix everything in ugg boots like instead of a culture and the word i got was is he in a buffalo wild wings that looks like a chipotle it does look like a chipotle what the fuck is happening here he's got a big ass metal desk and like a weird...

It does look like he's fucking filming from a Chipotle. It does. Like I said, Buffalo Wild Wings, but you're definitely right. I'm just saying, I will have a burrito bowl when he's done talking. It was kind of like a warning. I'm telling you, this is very accurate. Everyone tell him he was going to be on TV because he didn't comb his hair

before this started. He looks like my kid when he wakes up in the morning. This was about 10 months ago. And the word was, Lance, somehow there's a revival of this Nazi thing. It's that we keep seeing this Nazi symbol over the United States. Now, what they were picking up on was the white supremacists that had an actual Nazi symbol when they were marching around. Is that what they're picking up on, Lance? Because that's what I was picking up on.

And I only watched very little coverage of that. But you know what I did see? Swastikas. Wasn't white supremacists. Oh, it wasn't those guys. It wasn't those guys. It wasn't those guys. It wasn't the Kekistanis.

You know, I don't understand why we're always blaming Nazis for their Nazism. I know, gosh. Just holding against them their own belief systems. Yeah, and we shouldn't be blaming people who say,

model their flag after another flag that's very Nazi. Man, that shit is fucking ridiculous. That Kekistan shit is just like, and then they'll be like, well, I don't know what you're talking about. They try to pull that like, I don't know what you're talking about.

Of course you know what you're talking about. Fuck you. Fuck you, you fucking liars. You can't even fucking lie good. Own it. Yeah, no shit, right? If you're going to be one of these guys who hides behind your keyboard anyway,

just be a racist. Be an outward racist like you already are. You know, you're already saying all the most racist shit you could possibly imagine. And then you're just like, well, at least my flag isn't racist. Like, fucking own it. Just have a racist flag. I got a racist flag. I'm hanging a black guy

on my flag. Okay, you're a racist. We know you're a racist from all the things you say. It's not like anybody looks at the Kekistan flag and is like, maybe they're not a racist. We know you're racist from all the things you say. It's not like anybody looks at the Kekistan flag and it's like, maybe they're not a racist. Did everybody remember to give them the benefit of the doubt? Everybody already knows you broadcast exactly who you are. Yeah. We looked through your comment history and it's riddled with the N word. We don't need to know that your fucking flag is also racist what they're picking up on is the nazi strategy of propaganda that is being used right now by the media democratic

industrial complex that's a lot of words strung together that don't actually mean anything that's good it's like a capitalist oligarchy. In order to brainwash America so that they can recapture control and hopefully remove Trump from power. The only way that you can maintain your sanity is to understand

Nazi propaganda and how it's being used. The only way you can maintain your sanity is to understand Nazi propaganda and how it's being used. Wait, what? The only way you can maintain your sanity is to understand Nazi propaganda? And how it's used to control you. Oh.

Yeah. That's how you regain your sanity, Cecil. Also, there's not any Nazi propaganda being floated around except for by the Nazis.

Yeah, well. With handing out their fucking Nazi literature. Who's busy with this? And handing out all these sw fucking Nazi literature. He's busy with this. He's handing out all these swastikas. It's on my business card. Hang on a minute. Let me go to my Nazi-related website.

Used by the left in order to create a division in America. What an extraordinary perversion of history. Because it's Nazi tactics on the left to accuse the Nazis of being Nazis. Got it. And Donald Trump and Christians and every white person in America who voted Republican, they're all closet Nazis. One of the major problems with Trump is, you know, like the guy or with the Trump presidency, I should say, is that, you know, the guy was openly misogynist. Right. And it didn't matter.

It should have mattered. He was openly courting the white supremacist vote. And it didn't matter to people enough to say that's a deal breaker. There were so many times during the candidacy, during the Trump candidacy, that anybody, that I can't understand. Let me just rephrase. I can't understand how those things are not deal breakers, right? I don't understand how somebody being a misogynist is not 100% of the time a deal breaker. That's half the population.

I don't understand how that's not enough to be a deal breaker. I don't understand how, you know, having a history of racism is not enough to be a deal breaker. I don't understand how courting the white supremacist vote is not enough of a problem to be a deal breaker issue. But they weren't. And so if that then you're what you're saying is like on my list of priorities. This doesn't break. It's super low. I'm mad that people are getting yelled at in universities, and that's enough for me to vote for a misogynist racist.

Right. And I want to nip it in the bud before people send it. Don't send us the Hillary kissing the white supremacist meme that goes around. That is the most uninformed, shitty thing I've ever seen people share. It's a fucking guy who was in the white supremacist movement in the KKK for like a couple months, immediately fucking renounced it, came out and said for his entire senatorial career that it was a huge mistake and he made a big, giant fucking mistake doing it. And before he died, President Obama, when he died, President Obama spoke about him. When he died, fucking before he died, Hillary Clinton gave him a hug. That was years and years

and years after he was in the KKK and had already denounced it publicly umpteen fucking times. So don't send that fucking stupid fucking picture and make you and make it feel like a fucking gotcha moment. That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen circulated. And people just take it on face value. Be like, oh, I guess she did like white supremacists, too. Yeah, well, like, but here's the thing. Even if she did, it doesn't relieve his burden. Right. Yeah.

No, no matter how racist and I don't think that she is, but no matter how racist Hillary would be, it doesn't make Donald Trump not racist. And it doesn't make his racism less problematic. Absolutely. Absolutely. It does nothing to ameliorate that. It doesn't erase that.

Right. I think the only argument that you could make there is, well, I was going to vote for a racist either way. Right? I think that's the only argument that you could make there is, well, I was going to vote for a racist either way. I think that's the only argument that you can make there. But I'm dismissing the claim that she's a racist based on that dumb photo. Now, you could probably send me some other stuff, which you almost certainly will, that I will ignore. But that photo in particular, go fuck yourself. Even the NAACP sent out a memo mourning his passing.

Senator Byrd reflects the transformative power of this nation, stated NAACP President and CEO Benjamin Todd. Jealous? Really? Senator Byrd went from being an active member of the KKK to being a stalwart supporter of the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act, and many other pieces of seminal legislation that advances civil rights and liberties of our country. Let's talk about this, because I know that I've taken a lot of shit for my no-quarter stance for bigots, right? But here's the thing about bigotry. If you renounce it, it's over. Yep. Being a bigot is not like being white or black or a woman or a man. It's not an immutable fact of your nature.

So you can, if you're a bigot on Tuesday, you cannot play. You can change. You cannot play in civilized society. But if you were announced bigotry on Wednesday, well, welcome,

welcome back to the real fucking world. This is where the grownups are. Yep. Right. It's not an immutable fact of your personality. You weren't born real fucking world. This is where the grown-ups are. It's not an immutable fact of your personality. You weren't born a bigot. It's not like it's something about you you cannot adjust. Adjust it, and then you get to come play in the real world.

I grew up surrounded by racism when I was growing up. I just chose not to follow that stuff. I just chose not to be a racist. It would be easy to be a racist. It would be easy to be a racist because I would have just caved to the social pressures around me when I was a young child. And I would have carried that on through the rest of my life. And I didn't. And I didn't.

The thing is, like Bird, right? If you had been a racist, and then you stopped being a racist, now you're not a racist. You're a person who made some fucked up choices at some point in your life sure but that's over now yeah we get to have an over now unless you did something to hurt somebody in which case that's a different set of different set of circumstances moral implications right yeah so the quote from

gerbils is a lie told once remains a lie. But a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth. That's the Goebbels quote. OK, well, currently the sitting president is the lyingest liar that ever lied. All right. So what the fuck? And not just him. People repeat these lies. People in his cabinet repeat these lies. People in the on that side of the media repeat these lies when they're verifiable when you fucking can show people the charts and

graphs and astronomical charts and fucking pull out a sextant and be like you're wrong and be like nope nope i'm right i'm right you remember that you remember the the woman who was interviewed by the cnn reporter yeah and she was like why i heard heard on cnn and the woman's like i'm from cnn yeah we never said that she's like i still think it's true you're just like well fucking what so what this idea that you're gonna blame this on one side get the fuck out of here but i'm gonna tell you something i don't think it's the gerbils quote i actually think that this is now the strategy of cnn crossed out so you guys can see i gotta be perfectly honest that looks like libel to me no yeah i gotta be i don't know fuck all about the law but he's got a face of fucking a frowny ass fucking

goybles up there he's got uh in in fucking helvetica it says a lie told once remains a lie, but a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth. Joseph Goebbels is fucking crossed out and there's the CNN logo. I don't know much about the law. That doesn't seem like a thing that I would want to post. That would be against my advice of Sharon, my new lawyer. That would be against my advice of Sharon, my new lawyer. They will continue to say, why won't Trump distance himself from this white supremacy? Because they want to repeat that narrative until your mind is numb with the word Trump, white supremacy, Trump, white supremacy. You could be easily fucking separated.

All you had to do was have a strong stance against racism one time. All he had to do was go to a microphone and be like, I don't like racists. Instead, he was like, hey, there's good people on both sides. There's no good people on the racism side. Fucking, you know, this guy, this guy digs his own hole. Every fucking time he speaks, he digs his own hole every fucking time he speaks. He digs his own hole. And these people are just like, nope, nope.

It's not his fault. It's not his fault. He's digging his own hole and digging his own grave every time he opens his mouth. Well, it's like that stupid. I know you've heard this, but like, I mean, I've heard it. I don't know how many times now where people are like, ah, you just got to give him a chance. He's the president now. I don't know why everybody's always riding his ass, not giving him. People are pointing out the things he's doing and saying.

This guy has had tons of chances to come out against the thing that is so such a no fucking brainer to be against. Right. It's such a no God. It's not a nuanceder to be against racism. It's so easy to not be a racist. Yeah. And he is literally the easiest thing in the world. And all he has, and all he has to do is be like racism bad.

And then, and then hit the fucking mic and then walk out. So it's got to do, it's got to say two words. It, it's the easiest speech to write. He could have had a fourth grade English class write his speech. But instead, he came up

with a dartboard. I know, right? Four words on the wall. How do you feel about it? I didn't like it. Yeah. It's real sad that that happened. What a horrible thing. He could have used his little boy racist. The best part is, too, he could have used his little boy vocabulary. He's got the vocabulary

of a not particularly precocious fourth grader, right? That's the perfect language and vocabulary to denounce simple concepts. And the thing is that white supremacy is not complex. It's not nuanced. It's simple as fuck. So you can use

simple language. This was in his wheelhouse. Almost nothing we've asked him to do so far has been in his wheelhouse yeah he should have hit this out of the park and i think the reason why he's doing this is because there's this free speech like quote unquote free speech issue that has been so muddied by so many different groups it's been it's been so like pushed around and and pulled out it's like taffy it's been pulled out it's been distorted pushed around and pulled out. It's like taffy. It's been pulled out.

It's been distorted in such crazy ways that he thinks there's something to free speech around this that he's not willing to. You think that's part of the reason? I think one of the major reasons is because of free speech issues. And we've distorted what that means in this country to the point where we're not willing to say that a counter protest is free speech, that we're willing to say that a counter protest is stifling, stifling to free speech. We should just let those people march down the street with their Nazi flags. And then after they're done, we should then get a permit and we should march down the street with our anti-Nazi flags. And you're just like, that's not how it works. That's never how it works. Is the idea that speech, in order for it to not be stifling or whatever, because I think that idea is fucking stupid.

It's dumb. It's a stupid bullshit idea. Is the idea that all speech should be sequential? Yeah. Is that, I mean, I'm being honest. Is that like you get your turn and I get my turn and they are sequential rather than conversational? Everything is an Oxford-style debate.

You get to go, then I get to go. I get the first 15 minutes. You get to go, then I get to go. And then there's going to be a guy that says, hey, you've talked too long. It's their turn now. Oh, my God. They link it up. A neurological link is formed.

Before you know it, people see Trump and associate that word. It's like basic voodoo hypnotism 101 for oh yeah i remember taking that remember that basic human it's in every liberal arts college town i know i know good propagandists at the nazi party and that's what the left is doing and with the with the nazis were into voodoo they were into basic voodoo i mean they never got like that advanced because they hadn't captured New Orleans yet in the War of Nazi 12 or whatever. That's right.

They knew Conjuring 106, though. They were good at that. But the voodoo 101, basic. You know, the problem is that they would have been better at it had they gotten the Ark. But they were foiled in that attempt. You're right. You know, because they picked the wrong chalice. There's a whole thing. It's a documentary. You'll love it.

Christians never, and we never actually think in terms of messaging stuff that way. So to us, it's like, I wouldn't understand what's going on. The zombification of culture. The what? The zombification of culture. Tom, that doesn't mean anything. It's when culture becomes a zombie and

then eats its friends. I'll tell you what, somebody is going to have to eat my brain. Cause I'm not using it. Somebody's already eaten his brain is how his hair got fucking tussled like that. Who shows up on a camera looking like that? Well, Tom,

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They're a sponsor of the show. They're a great sponsor of the show. They've been a supporter of the show now for quite some time. Look, here's the thing, guys. You're already fucking. Yeah. Right?

You're already fucking. You may as well do it for half off. Might as well. You can fuck twice as often. Yeah fucking. Yeah. Right? You're already fucking. You may as well do it for half off. Might as well. You can fuck twice as often. Yeah. With juice. Right? Come on. I love this because this is from the Daily Mail, so all you have to do is read the headline. The Daily Mail, though, let's be, let's just

say Daily Mail bad source. Terrific, well vetted source. Terrible source. We know that. Alright. Woman, 25, believed to be the victim of cannibals in South Africa source. Terrific, well-vetted source. Terrible source. We know that. We know that. Woman 25, believed to be the victim of cannibals in South Africa who were arrested after one of them walked into a police station holding an arm and a

leg and said he had lost the taste for human flesh. That's the headline! But hang on, because there's some headings. He actually, first he walked in there, he's like, do you guys have any salt? Do you have any salt? Before we move on though, I got so many questions about this. So do I. I've got so many questions.

He comes in. He came into the police station. I'm going to read from you later in the article. He came in after a man walked into the police station and said he was tired of eating human flesh. And when questioned, produced part of a human leg in a hand. What, did he have a cooler with with it was it wrapped in butcher paper how does he how does he produce like how do you like how do you have a conversation with someone where there is no detectable human flesh and then suddenly they produce human flesh how does that happen i feel like when you're done eating and you have to

go to the cops to announce it, it's like a little kid being like, I gotta poop. Just be done eating. You could have just been like, I'm full. And then that's it. You don't have to go to the cops. They said to him, they said, look, you've got to finish

your plate. There are starving people here in Africa. Right here. His dad had to sit next to him and eat a whole person. We're going to eat this whole thing. It's the whole thing together. It's just so bizarre. It's just so utterly bizarre. And then it gets weird.

So this is a witchcraft thing. So that's why I made this show. So it's a witchcraft thing because of course it is. And it's in South Africa, which I thought was particularly weird because that's like one of the least awful places I thought, but I guess I'm wrong because it turns out sometimes you walk

around with a fucking street taco of people. It's delicious, right? I'm just going to have, if you eat Mexican, is it just like a churro? Is that just like, what is happening? I'm going to serve you, Jose. This is our Mexican for today. Did you want to eat? No way, Jose. I'm going to have sloppy joes, actually. I'll have Frank's.

At one point in this article, they say they go to the home of one person and they arrested a man who had eight human ears found in the cooking pot. And that, I understand that though, because like if you want to get a lot of collagen into your broth, you definitely need to sort of slow

cook the ears for a long time. How do you get all that wax out? I wonder if he put orachete pasta in there. You know what I mean? Like, that would add. That would add to it. But I want to read, though. It says, at this time,

only one person is suspected of being killed and their identity is yet known. You found eight ears! You found eight ears! What, are they growing them on our back? Like, what the fuck?

Is she a failed fucking lab experiment? There's eight ears. I'm no fucking detective scientist. But if there's eight ears. Well, okay. Hold on. Hold on.

There's eight ears, a leg and an arm. Yeah. Right. So, so I think it's reasonable to conclude that there is at least one dead person and three deaf people. Three deaf people and someone who writes with a nub. There's so many people that are involved. They're eating other people. 300 people.

How could 300 people eat one person? They've eaten flesh. More than 300 people have said they've eaten flesh. It says that my favorite line was, the first four arrested, including two witch doctors, and witch doctors was spelled W-H-I-C-H. Hey, witch doctors. Well, those doctors. Oh, those ones. One person has killed 300 people.

Are you just getting niblets like that well it says says they were told an armless beheaded and severely mutilated body had been found i feel like severely mutilated is now redundant once it's armless in some place east of est court in a veld and i'm like that's the worst part about having roommates they never save you a wing you know what i mean you just go home you open the fridge there's like a head in there with a post-it note don't eat this is mine get your own food larry if you don't eat all the people out of this refrigerator i'm cleaning it by tuesday this is one of those moments where you realize it was horrible and now it's horribler and it's they used to just kill these people for medicine.

Uh-huh. And now they're eating them. And it's like, it's like somebody finally realized that baby aspirin tastes like oranges. so we are joined this episode by my my my my my I had to I had to of course I had to she I had to. Of course. I had to. She's heard this

every time. She's never heard. She's never heard. We were joined by Sharon. Yeah. Hi, Tom and Cecil. Sharon. Not necessarily my Sharona.

Not yours necessarily. My, my, my, my, my. Anyway. It's such a bad, such a shitty dad joke. Oh, God. My jeans just came up like two inches higher

on my waist. Your pecs sag a little bit. I'm mowing the lawn in black socks while I said that joke. You have a farmer's tan. Oh, I couldn't get a tan. Farmers or otherwise. Are you kidding me? That's true.

You have a farmer's burn. I have a farmer's build. Chiron, thanks for joining us. Chiron has a podcast called Habeas Humor. Yes, yes. Hi, I'm super excited to be on your show. And thank you for mentioning my show. Well, we're glad to have you on.

We're not so glad to talk about this first story, though, because it is terrible. Because it's Catholic and like everything from the Catholics. But I did think this would be an interesting story to talk to you about. This is from a Catholic archbishop in Australia. Now, the Catholic archbishop in Australia, he's like the head honcho

of Australia. He's like in charge of the whole island of Catholics or whatever. He wears a special hat. He's got a staff or scepter or something. A mitre.

You know, I'm certain he actually has a staff because he seems concerned about its proper placement. His quote is, I'd rather go to prison than report child abuse to the police.

Huh. And he actually doubles down on that by saying that sexual abuse is a spiritual encounter with God through the priest. Ooh.

And it is of a higher order than criminal law. A spiritual encounter with God through the priest. It it is of a higher order than criminal law. A spiritual encounter with God through the priest. It's intercessory. That's for sure. Is there transubstantiation in God? Well, it starts off without the blood and then

there's blood in it and it gorges. And then when you put it in your mouth, you get liquid. It's not not transubstantiation. You know what, though? They can't abuse boys that eat gluten-free. They're going to fuck the kids.

I got a celiac. Whoa, whoa. Get away, devil devil i cast me out spitting that fucking holy water on him in the shaker they're just like lighting that incense and whipping it around jesus christ um man what what do you say about this? Except for like, this is everything that's wrong with your organization, right? Yeah, yeah. It's just so obviously monstrous on its face. And his justification, that sexual abuse is actually an encounter with God?

Yeah. I mean, come the fuck on. That's not only saying like, hey, I'm not going to turn these people in because we want to rehabilitate them. It's actually saying like, sexual abuse is a good thing. It's a way to get that child closer to God through the priest cock. Yeah. And he's, I mean, there's, there are better ways to fill kids up with the Holy Ghost, I think, than this.

I think. Can you fill them all the way up? Like, I don't know. It takes time. I'm just, I mean, I'm assuming. There are floaters. Oh God. They all float down here.

Oh, God. But, Sherrod, I thought this would be a horrible story to talk to you about because, you know, you are an attorney. Yeah. And your podcast focuses on legal issues. And I am curious, what are the laws? Like, what does it say? What about, I don't care about Australia. It's a garbage country that nobody would go to on vacation.

Like, whatever. It's an island of misfit toys basically that's all it is it's run by kangaroos this guy is actually he's like the head wallaby or something like it doesn't matter like what the wombats do or something but like here in like a real country what are they like what like what are the requirements if if if a priest finds out another priest was doing some diddling like i'm really curious like what are the requirements what are the protections these guys have i just want to back up one second the thing about what you said um and i know that that was quoted in the story i think they may have misquoted and the the guy is Archbishop of Melbourne, Dennis Hart, just to be clear.

We're not talking about George Pell, although George Pell and I could get into some stuff about telling you exactly why Dennis Hart is a complete piece of shit. But I don't think he necessarily said that sexual abuse is a spiritual encounter with God. I was trying to find the primary source of what exactly he said and for some

reason I can't find it. Oh, so the article misquotes it, you think? Yeah, because another article says he was actually just talking about the confession. Oh, well that's a big difference. Yeah, sure. That's like an incredibly substantive difference. Hey, countercurrentnews.info,

who finds these stories? Jesus, Tom. God. Fucking garbage people. Let me tell you. Okay, so he may have been misquoted. He's talking about the act of confession. And that's weird because if you look at this photo, he looks like he's blushing from saying it.

He was embarrassed. Oh, heavens. Oh, it's me. Oh. That is the sound he makes that's a perfect imitation of this guy I'll never make that sound again I'm not going to say that he's a kid

fucker I mean because that would be defamatory but he acts a lot like George Pell used to act like if you don't turn him in though like you are complicit in kid fucking right I mean like aren't you like 100% morally complicit in kid fucking if you know somebody is a kid fucker and then you don't turn them in? Because the likelihood is that later they're going to fuck another kid, right? Right.

So it's not like you're just dealing with the past. You're also dealing with a high probability of future events. Oh, absolutely. And, you know, in normal society, I mean, I'm kind of disappointed that you don't want me to talk about Australian law because I just watched four seasons of Rape on Netflix. What is that? Oh, my God. You got to watch this. It's it's on Netflix. It's an Australian show about lawyers. I didn't even know they had TV or laws. Wouldn't they be barristers? Yeah. Do they wear the funky wig? You know what? That's the thing. There's barristers and then there's solicitors. And it's actually really brilliant the way they do it. They divide

their labor really well in Australian lawyers, like make sure everybody gets paid. Yeah, but they do. Actually, I looked this up for Australia because, you know, they just like here in the United States, they have different states there. And Melbourne is in the state of Victoria. And Victoria has a law that says any adult who has a reasonable belief that a sexual offense has been committed in Victoria against a child under the age of 16 years by another person or over the age of 18 years, another person of or over the age of 18 years. Okay, so 18 years or older. That's just weird Australian writing.

They write it backwards because the toilet went the other way, so they got mixed up. But basically, you have to, and the law is the same. I mean, they vary state to state, but I know that my state of New Jersey has pretty much the same law. If you're an adult and you have any kind of reasonable belief, reasonable belief that a kid has been sexually abused, you're required to report it. You have to. And so if you think someone's been abused, you have to report it.

What would what would happen? Like, do you know what the penalty would be would like with tom what tom said earlier which is like you're complicit in it is is it you know like um is there like there's a word for that right like aiding and abetting or something like that is am i am i using am i lawyering right here i think you've crawled under the bar it's the same thing right i think what happens is they just kind of make that a separate offense. I don't think they're willing to go so far as to say that, you know, just because you failed to run.

You didn't like hold it while they slipped it in. You didn't like place the candy out. You're not driving the truck full of puppies. But that's a little different than being part of an institution like the Catholic Church.

Well, yeah. But, you know, it's been like a 2000 year long conspiracy. And we know that they definitely, you know, cover up for each other. And it does seem like there's one issue about if you're a priest and another priest confesses to you in confession that they did something. That's been a repeated problem because priests don't want to disclose what they're told, not just about sexual abuse. But, you know, if a murderer confesses to them that they did a murder, they're not supposed to. They're exempted from the law, which I think is bullshit because I'm not somebody who's a big fan of the that part of of the first amendment as i've said on my show like i wonder like what would the rule be if somebody were a humanist like the humanist version of

clergy right because there's a humanist sure uh like i i can i can get the humanist i don't know fucking certification or whatever and go marry people and like that kind of shit you can go do that and that's like recognized think, legally as a secular alternative or a secular analog maybe to religious institutions. So does that make me kind of a secular clergy? Would I be covered,

I wonder, under the same kind of protections? Yes, there's something called... I mean, I don't want those protections, but I'm just saying, like I wonder. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fishing here.

You're here probing the depths like you know if you know is there any way i can maybe steal a car and get away with it there's this thing called clergy penitent privilege and it's kind of generic and privilege um shouldn't be confused with confidentiality a lot of people make that mistake because confidentiality just means that you know if i'm, if I'm your lawyer or your doctor or something, I'm not supposed to just talk about your private business. I have to keep quiet about it. compelled under like under subpoena or if you're being questioned in court, can you be forced by the court or by an agent of the court to spill something? And so it is not necessarily the same as confidentiality, although like when it comes to lawyers, we're just we're not supposed to

disclose anything. And we tend to get the highest level of privilege and the highest duty of confidentiality because. What about doctors? Do doctors the highest duty of confidentiality because... What about doctors? Do doctors have a privilege or confidentiality? So you've probably heard of the HIPAA, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that creates nationwide standards relating to medical records. And the idea behind that is that it's actually, I i guess for mostly for employers with regard to not disclosing their health information but it's it extends all the time like if usually you have to sign a HIPAA release for your doctor to release your medical records to anybody and it's basically that's your

privilege not so much theirs. Although that's kind of the same thing with attorneys too. Okay, so I killed somebody. Let's say I killed somebody hypothetically. So I killed somebody and then I like sprained my ankle and I go to the doctor and I'm like, I sprained my ankle killing that

dude. That has nothing to do with your medical thing. Well, that's why I showed up. I was like, yeah. And he's like, how'd you hurt your ankle? And I'm like, well, because I was killing this guy. I stomped his face and my ankle twisted. It has literally nothing to do.

You know what? You just gave me a perfect bar exam question. That is totally... All these lawyers like scanners blow up their brains so like all right so I get an infection on my leg from like when somebody bit me while I was killing them and they're like what

happened and I'm like I was killing that guy and he bit me which is rude and so like does can the doctor say anything about it this this this podcast has gone off the rail no No, it's fine. It's fine. What about a priest?

All right. So a priest and a doctor walk into a room and I'm stomping a man to death and he bites me. Not a zombie. Who can rat me out? I actually want to know the answer to that question. Yeah. Okay. So here's the thing.

Like, with a doctor, and now whenever a third person is present, it's different. Caliente. Damn straight. Well, it depends on the third, actually. Well, no, I mean, if they're holding her hand, it's a little weird. Doctors. Hold in her hand. It's a little weird. Doctors.

So I think if I got this on a bar exam question, I would answer that the doctor does not get to assert the doctor patient privilege for the for the statement about killing the person because it is not directly the doctor. Because it is not directly the doctor. The way the rule is, and I'm doing this from memory, if the statement is related to the treatment, then it's protected. The doctor can't talk about it. But like you said, it's not so much related here. Yeah, but what if he bit me? Because then I'm serious. Then it's related, right? Because I got his weird face juice in my wound.

What if for PT, he said you should go stomp more skulls? Oh, the course of treatment is the murderous one? Now that's eating and abetting. You seem tense. Have you tried killing people? That's totally protected. Totally protected if he orders you to kill people. I have a lot of anxiety. Well, have you killed anyone? No, I think that weren't... So usually facts that are like extraneous to the treatment would not be considered protected.

That's awesome. So I think so. But, you know, there's a case to be... I mean, again, that's why lawyers get paid the big bucks. There would be a lawyer on one side arguing that this is totally, you know, it's integral to the treatment that he talked about killing this guy and

stomping skulls and, you know, and a judge would have to. Her voice changed. Stomping skulls. She's like, I hope nobody hears me on this show. That's okay. If you've listened to my show, you know that I like, I am past the point of no return. That's just how we like our ladies.

Well, speaking of your show show tell us about your show okay uh this show is called habeas humor i mean i usually say it's legal or it's law humor and i always say law humor instead of legal humor because legal humor could just mean the opposite of illegal humor so lawyer joke andrew torres is furiously masturbating to that joke right now. Well, I started doing habeas humor about six months ago, and that was after a period of at least several months when I had been thinking that I wanted to do my own podcast. But I didn't really know how. I also didn't have what I thought were any real good ideas, nor did I have anyone else who was ready and willing and able to co-host with me. But eventually I decided to just do it because, you know, if you want to do something, you just got to do it.

So the thing that really got me motivated was when I started listening to Opening Arguments, because that show is like 50 percent lawyer and I'm a lawyer. And the success of Opening Arg arguments showed me that a lawyer can do a podcast that both lawyers and non-lawyers will want to listen to oh oh yeah yeah and so you decided to do something interesting and funny like as an alternative to oa exactly exactly i'm just saying that's what she's i'm paraphrasing for the young lady so that we are on the same page the thing I do is you say it different and put words in their mouth

and then they feel bad about saying that. Okay, so you don't like Andrew Torres. He's all right, but... Are you a better lawyer than Andrew? Like, I want to know. Like, in a lawyer fight? Here's what happens. Could you outlawyer him?

Andrew will never admit it, but I have outlawyered him on some things. Oh, snap! Oh, we need to have a lawyer off. Yeah. Well,lawed him on some things. Oh, snap! Oh, we need to have a lawyer off. Well, we had one on my show. It's called a trial. They already have a name for that. Well, it was actually a your lawyer off.

We made your lawyer jokes. A lawyer off. They should rename it. I'm on lawyer off for murder i'm so scared it makes it takes a sting out of it you know what i mean like it just takes the people assume that andrew's better than me because he went to Harvard and I went to UC Davis. But what often happens is that when people have a question or a problem, they'll go to Andrew. And then when he can't help them, they go to me.

The one from this week was about employment discrimination and specifically with really white against black discrimination. Because I've you know, we've been hearing a lot about that lately. And I was interested in, I heard a story from somebody who was talking about how she had a really hard time getting a job and she's black. Ruining the narrative here. Right. And I hear all the time from people saying like, well, you know, there's no employment discrimination because we don't have it in my office. And any besides, if you get discriminated against, you just sue, right? Like that's, it fixes it.

And so I was, so I did my whole show about how that's not really the case. Like discrimination does happen and it's, there's not really an easy remedy for it when it does happen. I would imagine discrimination happens constantly and the person who's discriminated against has no way to know. How would you know?

It requires the operation of somebody's brain. Right. You didn't get the job. It's not like they wrote the N word on your resume and sent it back to you. Wouldn't that be crazy? It's like, okay, I just want you to know that I'm not hiring you because a lesser qualified white applicant, they showed up like an hour after you. They were 20 minutes late though. Yeah.

And I hired them. And high. Yeah. They actually pooped in the chair, which is weird. Yeah. But totally hired. But they were whiter. Yeah.

And you're, you know, blacker. So we decided not to hire them. Like, no one says that. We went in a different direction. That's exactly the thing discrimination is almost impossible to prove so it's i mean you can make the allegations and sometimes just making the allegations is enough to get the employer to to pay yeah to pay like a little there's actually a limit uh on on damages which is something i go into um it's at least if you go if you're claiming under federal law you're limited to like a couple hundred thousand that's

that's at the most like if you can prove that you lost that many wages and you can get that much impunitive damages and that kind of thing you know and then if your lawyer takes a chunk of it and uh it tends to be like and having been a litigator, I, I know that it's, it's a very stressful process and it takes a long time. Most companies settle though. Yes. But usually they don't do that for a while. Like it might take a year or two, you know, some, some places are maybe more like, you know, Hey, let's just write it off right now as nuisance value. But I mean, a lot of places will say, well, that's just going to make more people sue us. So people are going to find habeas humor.

Where would they look? I'm on iTunes and Stitcher and I'm hosted by Libsyn and I'm on Facebook. People have said that they can't spell habeas though. And I have been assuming. I feel like if they can't spell habeas, maybe they don't need to listen to your show. To me, it feels like there's an extra A in there.

But anyway, I'm not a very good speller. Well, what I found is that you can say it to the Mickey Mouse song. H-A-B-E-A-S-H-U-M-O-R. I'm not going to sing it because they'll sue me. Well, we will put your information for all those different places on this week's show notes. Sharon, thanks for joining us today.

Thank you for having me. This was great. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth! You can't handle the truth! So this is Dave, coach. Not a coach. He's launching hurricane relief efforts. That's good news. Yeah.

Not so much. To teach people to depend on God, not on the government. He's got some shit to say. It's a little different when he says it, though. You know, actually, to be honest, this is one of the few right-wing watch headlines that is actually softer on him than what he says. I agree with you.

Yeah. Because what he says is actually monstrous. We find the greatest work gets done Christian to Christian. What does that mean? You talking about like a reach around? What are we greatest work gets done Christian to Christian. What does that mean? You're talking about like a reach around? What are we talking about here? Christian to Christian. Hey, you want to help that Jew?

Oh, no. Is that like ass to ass? So Chad's working right now. Ray Gano's with us today. I'm going to bring Ray up. Ray lives down that area. Our best work is done church to church. We like to take our supplies.

Everybody could go right now and donate all kinds of money to the Red Cross and to the Salvation Army. And then they would use it to buy food and medicine and water. And that would be a very useful way to spend your money because their ratio of administrative costs to actual aid is pretty high

and actually pretty good. But anyway, you're going to tell us something else, though, I'm sure. I'm sure your way's better. They're doing good work. But, you're going to tell us something else, though, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure you're always better. Right. Okay. They're doing good work. But what we are going to do, we are going to take our supplies and we're going to go to a church, partner with a church down there and hand out.

What church? A church? The Church of the Living Waters. Church of the Stormy Weather. Relief supplies through the church which builds relationships in the community. Yeah, of course it does.

Because you have a... It's just like fucking one Jody Baker, whatever the fuck her name is. She said when she's like, well, I used to just go down and see all those little kids, those little hungry faces, and I'd go give them a little bit and I'd say, bring your parents back so we can beat them with this Bible.

We're going to go there. We're going to help the community by proselytizing to people that are desperate. Yeah, that's exactly it. People who want the food. Yep. People who are desperate for hope. You know, it's worse than that, though, right? Because it's not just food. Yeah. Right. These are people who've,

you know, in many cases, they've lost loved ones. They've lost their belongings. They've lost everything. Everything, right? And so they're in a place where they're emotionally blown open, right? They're vulnerable to this kind of messaging. And these guys know this is the time when they are the most vulnerable to our messaging because they're fucking blown apart and they're desperate and they're hurting. And what I want to do is take advantage of people in their time of greatest need. Yeah, exactly. And he's going to say that. He's about to

say that almost exactly without understanding that that's monstrous. Without saying, without the self-realization that that's the absolute worst thing to do to somebody. We think that's far more important than Red Cross

coming by and giving you a meal. What the fuck is wrong with that? Right? Oh, remember that time the Red Cross just, no strings attached, fed you some foods? What a bunch of dicks. Fucking self-righteous assholes.

Where are the strings? There's no gospel that comes with Red Cross. And these people down in But there's a cross right in it, you would think. Houston, I'm going to tell you, they're going to be open to the gospel. They're going to be open to it. I'll tell you what. How do you not know you're a

monster? Yeah. They're hurting, guys. a monster they're hurting guys they're hurting find people at their lowest find people when they're fucking weeping on an airplane and that's when you proselytize to them and those of you listening right now say coach

I can't go but I would like to help please don't send your donations to the Salvation Army and please don't send them to the American Red Cross. Please don't do that. I just want to point out too that when you talk to aid groups, especially during these moments of crisis, these moments of intense acute crisis, the thing that they want from you is your money. They don't want you to send fucking candy bars. They don't want you to show up with a hammer and a boat. They don't want that.

send fucking candy bars. They don't want you to show up with a hammer and a boat. They don't want that. Because the thing is, you do all that stuff. Now they got to deal with all these things, physical things that you've sent them. It takes manpower. They have systems in place. What they want is your money. That's what they want. They have systems to go buy the food and buy the water and buy the medicine and house the volunteers that they already know what to do with and who they are, and they've trained them in emergency relief efforts. What they need most acutely right now is actually what he said not to do. And the thing he's proposing to do, which is to drive down and clog up the roads with your fucking idiot ass self, with your fucking trailer full of fucking nut bars or whatever,

is literally the thing that experienced aid groups want you to do the least. It has the least actual value. And it actually can be a detriment. Like you say, clogging up the roadways, giving people stuff they don't need. Those are things that are not useful in this time of crisis. And people without experience in relief aid, they don't know what things are going to get people sick. Sometimes they hand out foods and things

that haven't been properly treated and refrigerated. And they fuck shit up because they don't know how to do this because it's not fucking amateur hour down there. It's a city of fucking like what, four and a half million people that's now under fucking water. Let the pros handle it.

Send them to us. And we will take what we get, and we will take it from Christian to Christian. This is critical. Now is the time for people to be taught to depend on the church, depend on God, not on the government. Listen to that. We need to make them dependent on us. Yeah, exactly. When they're hurting the most. It's the easiest way to change their mind.

God. Isn't that awful? It is seriously horrible. This is critical for us to get involved with this. Critical for us to take advantage of them while they're hurting the most. And you're right. He's saying, send us your money and we will take a fucking big old caravan full

of granola bars. I remember when I was when Plainfield your money and we will take a fucking big old caravan full of granola bars. Well, I remember when I was, uh, when, when Plainfield got hit with the F5 tornado, I was in high school and it blew through two or three, uh,

apartment complexes. And I was in the mall that it jumped over. So I was in the mall. It had jumped, it had leaped over one of the malls out here um and it was it did a path jumped over the mall and then landed over there and we had gotten into a car directly after that tornado and it was a high schoolers all of us were high schoolers at the time and we all just started to drive down the road and we started looking and

seeing like holy shit there's like fucking boards in the road. What's going on? So we kind of followed the path of the tornado. We worked our way over and we followed the path of the tornado and we drove by and we saw one of these, one of these places was destroyed, like a big, you know, big blown up fucking thing. There's a bunch of people sort of running around and whatnot. And I remember we left and I went home and I told my brothers about it. My brother looked at me and he said, do you want to drive out there and see if we can help? And I remember saying, yeah, sure. So we got like some kick-up clothes on,

you know, whatever. We got, you know, like your shit kickers on and your flannel or whatever to drive out there. And also because it was a grunge time back then. So I drove out there and I remember getting turned away. And they're like, no, we like, cause they don't want people who don't know what they're doing.

Digging around in rubble. Yeah. They dig around in unsafe structures. It's unsafe. There could be an electrical wire in there. No, they got to rescue you. They don't want me in there. Right.

So we went out there with all the best intentions of helping out. And they're like, no, no, no, you can't, you can't help. Relief. Disaster relief is a professional fucking job. It's not for fucking amateurs. You know, immediate care the moment it fell down. Sure, sure. There's something to be said.

But after the fact, after there's already experienced people there, if they're not calling for volunteers, don't walk up and be like, I'm here to help. Because you're not going to help. You probably don't have the skills or the tool set to do it and recently this last week um on the gaytheist manifesto callie wright and ari stillman wound up raising over three thousand dollars that's awesome for foundation beyond belief uh it was just an amazing effort if you have have any extra money, Foundation Beyond Belief has a disaster relief. They have a disaster relief fund that they've set up. You can go to Foundation Beyond Belief

and look on their website, and they have all this stuff. I'll put it on a link on this week's show notes too, but go check it out. If you have some extra money to give, well, Tom and I gave some money, but other people, but feel free to give some money to this.

This is going to help these people in Houston. You know, Tom and I, we bad mouth a lot of other cities, but we don't want to see people hurting. We don't want to see people in danger. We don't want to see people hurting. Those people lived in Houston. They were already hurting.

That was already a bad situation. I can't believe it got worse. And I mean, really, it's genuinely an awful thing. The amount of stuff that happened down there is just terrible. And so, you know, we gave a little money.

But if you have some extra money, throw it at Foundation Beyond Belief. They're going to be doing some good work down there. They're not going to be doing a duck coach fucking fast one and giving people literature. So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons, but we want to thank our newest patrons. We got a lot of new patrons. Tom, Kate, Revan, Larmuth, Mara, Logan, Jack, Matt Thespian. Matt Thespian.

Matt Thespian. I don't know. Vitally, Kip, Aday Bebe. Sean, the number 17, Greg george matt brendan shitter mcgaffin turtle up i think is what it is yes it looks like there's a three there three up church three up i'm not sure holly catherine semantics ph Philip, Phyllis Shafley's fetid corpse, Danny Starkiller, and She Talks Atheism. Thanks so much for your generous donations.

If you're interested in Cecil quitting his job, you can go to patreon.com and give on a per episode basis. We would love to have your donation to make that a possibility. So we got a bunch of email. We're going to sort of work our way through some of this email, but we're specifically going to talk a little bit later

about Michael Wood Jr. There's a bunch of emails about it, so we're going to touch on each one of the topics as we come through on the email. The first one here is from Kirby, and Kirby sent in an image. And now we've got to do some work here with the name, because I don't want the name to come up. So I will cover up the name.

But I just want you to go and check out this Neapolitan image that's on here because it took us a while to figure out. But one of these words is we think supposed to be strawberries, but we're not sure. So check it out on this week's show notes. We also got two videos. Eric sent in two videos that we're going to post. One we played on the show a long time ago. It was the worst church singer ever. A man sings looking for a city.

Now we've used that as a clip once before, a long time ago. The other one is a Christian rap compilation that we just could not stop. We stopped. We stopped watching. I want to read this. This is from Eric. He says,

this shit makes my teeth itch. I got to tell you, I feel exactly the same way. This kind of like so bad. We were listening to the Christian rap and seriously, I had to take my headphones off and set them down I was so embarrassed to hear it it really is so cringy you just can't

I would rather get deep pants than listen to this we got a message from Steven and he said you guys are great but please break from the group think and then he sent us an hour and a half long podcast that he didn't explain Steven if you're going to send us something that you want us to pay attention to,

do us the favor of maybe filtering that a little. Don't just send us someone else's podcast that I'm probably never going to listen to. It makes me crazy. It's like, well, have you considered this? And then they don't explain it. They just want you to spend your time coming up with their ideas. No, I'm not going to do that. You could send a better message than that, I'm sure.

So we got a message from Antony. Antony? Antony? I don't know. Is it Antony? Antony. Antony? I don't know. It's a type of pasta. So he says, can you settle an argument? My brother thinks that boiled bacon is worse than Neapolitan ice cream.

I agree. What? Here's why. I've got it. Here's the thing. What that boiled bacon is worse than Neapolitan ice cream. I agree. What? Here's why. I've got it. Here's the thing. What is boiled bacon? Boiled bacon is a crime against humanity. Yeah.

Here's the thing. You've taken. Here's why it's objectively worse. This is just true. There's no argument here. If you have boiled bacon, you've taken something lovely. Bacon. And you've destroyed it. Well, Neapolitan you've taken something lovely. Bacon.

And you've destroyed it. Well, necessarily. Neapolitan ice cream didn't start out lovely. Not necessarily. You've boiled bacon. Is that its final form? Okay, admittedly. You could boil it very briefly, then cook it down, and that would be perfectly fine. You could render some of that fat off of it.

But if you are just boiling bacon, you are taking something beautiful and destroying it. That's mouth-fucking the Mona Lisa. I'm with you too. Although I do that. The Neapolitan ice cream was always going to be shit. This video made me cry

with laughter. It's amazing. This is from Emily. We're going to post it on this week's show notes. It's an Alex Jones video that is unique and lovable. And I absolutely fell in love. It's fucking amazing. Seriously? Best Alex Jones video so far. I mean, really, I would say next to the Bon Iver one.

And I'm saying it, Bon Iver. It's really good. So we got a message. really good so we got a message uh this is from luke who basically sent a big long message that i very much agree with and that's you shouldn't listen to michael wood jr when he says and i don't know that he outwardly say said that people should get off their medication but don't listen to michael wood jr about whether or not you should be on medication. He's not a professional that can determine that. Don't listen to him about that.

Wholeheartedly, the things that Michael Wood Jr. had to say about pharmaceuticals comes from a place of a guy describing himself as a police management dude. Exactly. Not a medical professional. Yeah. So bear in mind that that was the sole opinion. And it's not my opinion. I strongly disagree with it. Not a medical professional. Yeah. So bear in mind that that was the sole opinion, and it's not my opinion, I strongly disagree with it. Yeah, me too. Of a police management dude.

That's it. Yeah. If you're on pharmaceuticals, talk to your doctor exclusively about your decision to use pharmaceuticals. Yeah. I got nothing to tell you about whether or not you should or shouldn't. I would never talk to you about that in any way.

Michael Wood doesn't know anything about whether you should or shouldn't either. Michael Wood has no fucking idea. And I can't remember that coming up in the conversation where he says, now he does allude to how doctors are prescribing things that maybe they shouldn't. That is an untested, unskeptical claim made out of anecdotal thought that Michael Wood came up with. And the idea that cannabis is a replacement drug when you run out of your pharmaceuticals is nonsense. That's nonsense. Ignore that forever.

Same thing with psychedelics because he also refers to psychedelics. And the thing is, I have no idea about the efficacy of marijuana. We're going to talk about that in a few minutes. Right. And I shouldn't, because I don't study it, and I don't know. And that's why we were thrown so far off a loop when you brought this up. I couldn't believe that shit. We were not prepared in any way.

We thought he was going to come on and talk about Standing Rock, which he did for a very short amount of time. And then he talked about stuff that we were totally unprepared for, which is why it sounded like we were floundering and just pausing a lot because we had no idea that he was going to mention that stuff. We were staring at each

other across the table. Seriously, I had no idea. Here's the thing, guys. Maybe marijuana is an effective treatment for some things. If it is, the way you find out is you study it like anything else. It is a drug. The idea that it's not a drug is nonsense. It's not a vitamin.

That's garbage. It's a silly idea. Ignore it forever. It is a drug. It has effects on the body. It has effects on the mind. They should be studied and cataloged and proven. Efficacy should be shown. Doseage should be understood. Only then, when it's proven to be effective for specific things, should it be diagnosed for those things.

Now, recreationally, that's a different story. Recreationally. If you just smoke it because you fucking love Doritos, then smoke it because you love Doritos, right? I'm not against drug use at all, but I am against saying that it is a medicine when it's not a medicine. Or that it can fix things like PTSD. There's no,

there's nothing that says that it can, now, All you need to do is prove it. Again, maybe there's a study out there that even proves this. I don't know, but I don't know enough about it to know that. The other thing, too, is that he said something in effect of, like, and i heard it in the record because his sound was all weird and i didn't get a chance to hear it when he said it but he said something about why wars started were because of pharmaceuticals that is a garbage claim that doesn't mean anything it doesn't mean anything

and it's not worth your time to even consider. It is a silly thing that he said. He's a great rhetorician. And when you talk to him, he's actually kind of stifling when he talks to you because he spits out so many points that you have a hard time following just one. So he's a great rhetorician, but that is a garbage statement that has no bearing in fact.

Got a message from, this is from Dylan and Dylan wanted us to play this. and I do want to play this. This is Dylan. Send us this voicemail. Hi, Tom and Cecil. This is Dylan, the biochemist that does biophysics in North Chicago. I want to talk to you about episode 375.

Two big things. Not going to mention a lot of small things that were kind of incorrect in your interview and guys got to strayed into, um, biochemistry and pharmacology, but two things, um, you guys were talking about endogenous opioid receptors and, um, Michael would said that we don't have endogenous opioids. We actually do. They're called endorphins. It's the portmanteau of endogenous morphines. The other thing is that on the other side, Tom and Cecil, you guys were saying that, you know, you're all for the use of medicinal cannabis as long as it's in a medical study. There's actually been pretty extensive studies, small scale, not any large phase two pharmaceutical trials for other reasons I'm not going to get into. But the doctor, I believe, Lagresti from the Institute of Biomolecular

Chemistry put out a really good review just last fall on kind of an overview of the medicinal uses of cannabis. Anyway, I'm sitting in my car right before I go into lab. I got to turn in my thesis on Friday. So thanks for the distraction. Glory hole. I just want to push back a little bit. Extensive small scale studies, but no large scale studies. Okay, that's cool. But I mean, do we derive information from that?

Do we derive information that changes what we consider cannabis to be off of a small-scale study. Again, I feel like I want the same ask of cannabis that I want from anything else. You have to say, first you start off with, is it effective for this specific malady?

Right? This cure-all. There's this idea with cannabis, specifically, or pot, which I'm not allowed to say because it makes me sound old evidently. There's this idea that it's a goddamn cure-all. There are no cure-alls, guys. There are no panaceas. It is not a cure-all. It's malady by malady. That's how you study things responsibly. Does it work? Yes or no? Did we study it? What's the dosage? What's the efficacy? You do this for everything else. We demand it for

everything else. But we have this weird panacea fucking paradisical bullshit notion with cannabis that we don't apply to other things. It's silly. Well, one of the things that we're talking about here is like, look, if all other drugs, if they wind up getting passed by the Food and Drug Administration and they get thrown into circulation through extensive small-scale studies, then that's cool.

If they found some things based on this extensive small-scale study that you're talking about, and that is then the springboard that puts them out into the area where we're able to use cannabis to combat things. Great. If that's not a standard at which other medicines are chosen, then I don't care. Yeah. But just the same standard applied across the board. We got a message from Chris and Chris had said that, and this was something someone else corrected us on too. Someone else corrected our numbers when we said something about 6 million Jews. Yeah. And there was a correction and it's a good correction, right?

It's a necessary correction. It's like, no, it's not just 6 million Jews. It's a lot of other people that died in the Nazi Holocaust. And the same thing happens here. When we say that the Nazis were the worst thing ever, Nazis were the most genocidal,

that sort of thing. It's like, no, there was bigger genocides than the Nazis, Mao, Stalin, Native Americans, those sorts of things. But the thing is, is that Hitler is sort of universally synonymous with genocide. So it's an easy way to correlate the two. But, you know, we've got to be careful with our language and saying it's the worst is probably not the right thing to say.

It is all, it is bad, you know, but I mean, can we all just say they're bad? Can we just say, agree that they're all bad? Yeah, can we just,

egregious across the board? Let's just make sure we say that. We got a message from Aaron and Aaron sent in a parody of The Sound of Silence. We'll let you listen and see what you think. I think some of it is very clever. Yeah. I actually think the refrain is terrible.

I'm not a huge fan of the refrain, but the rest of it is very clever. So check it out. It'll be on this week's show notes. It's a video. We got a message from me. Me said, basically a big long email that said, look, I know we say we call ourselves, a lot of people in Washington call themselves liberals, but these are not liberals. These're not really progressives. And I don't think that there's anything. I think you're generally right when you say this. I think that, you know, there are not crazy leftists in the

government as much as the right wing wants you to believe that there's crazy leftists in the government. I think that most of the things they want are very center of the road. They're not, these are not like nobody's barely anybody's even pushing for like single payer medical care. Like they're not even pushing for that. So this idea that, you know, we're, we're this crazy leftist government and we're running out of control is silly.

I think you're absolutely right. We're mostly centrists. So we want to thank Sharon from habeas humor for joining us. She was a lot of fun. I will have all the links to find her stuff on this week's show notes. So go check out this week's show notes. This is episode 376.

But we want to thank her for coming on. It was a lot of fun. We were also very recently on the poorly summarized podcast. I don't know when this is going to release, but when it does,

we will tweet it out and we'll put it on the show notes. But we wanted to mention that we were on that show, the poorly summarized podcast. You can do a search for it. Check it out. They're two funny guys. They cover a lot of Trump stuff. So give it a give it a shout. Give it a check. You're also going to listen to the obviously listen to the one that we're on because it's fucking amazing. So that's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we

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