Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 382: The How To Heretic

Episode Date: October 16, 2017

Thanks to Dan and Mark from The How To Heretic Podcast for coming on the show! How To Heretic: Stories covered in episode:  Email to support group:  

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com right now and enter GLORY, the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout, you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Hey, this message is for Cecil and Tom of Citation Needed. Just wanted to let you know the globe of death is still alive. I just wanted to let you know the Globe of Death is still alive, and I was listening to the Cognitive Dissonance or the Citation Needed episode on the way to the Barber Motorcycle Museum where there was a race this weekend. Guess what was there? The Globe of Death.

I actually saw it. I saw people riding inside of it. Now, nobody's throwing anything at each other, but three motorcycles inside a metal mesh globe riding around, missing each other the whole time. It was awesome. So there is your citation for the citation needed. Reference to the globe of death. Glory hole, motherfuckers.

So I'm listening to your last episode and literally as Tom, in the literal sense of the word, literally, literally as Tom is talking about adding a license plate to try to get to 36. A guy with a license plate

with the number 36 and an Illinois plate passed in front of me here in sunny Florida. And I expected when I drove up, I would see Jesus taking the wheel. It would be a miracle. But it wasn't because it's all bullshit. Bye. Help. Somebody help me.

I'm stuck here in East Texas. Please get me out of this garbage state. Fucking bring me to the glory hall. Hello, this is Natalie. I am calling from right outside Baltimore, Maryland. I am calling because I need to tell you what I think of Sheila Valenki. Okay, so picture this. You're a lady and you go out on a girls' night with your girlfriend and one of your friends who is perpetually single gets totally wine-drunk, and then starts trying to talk about things while remaining somewhat articulate, but making zero sense.

And that is that crazy woman. Keep up the good work, and I would like to wish a very fine glory hole to both of you. Thanks. Bye. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there

for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this is episode 382 of cognitive dissonance. In this episode, we are joined by our uncles. According to your website,

you're our uncles. I didn't know that. Welcome to the family. Why did you invite us on such a bullshit number? 400 or something. It is. Tom just doesn't know the number of the show. Why did you invite us on such a bullshit number? Like 400 or something. It is. It is.

Tom just doesn't know the number of the show. I've been saying 382 episodes. We started at episode 382. That's how you get your lead. We are joined by Mark and Dan from the How to Heretic podcast. Gentlemen, welcome to the glory hole. Thank you. Good to be here.

Wait, I thought there was no welcome I thought that that was your Oh there's no welcome Matt We don't care about your needs Yeah So we'll track all that bullshit into your place No you gotta leave your shoes outside Yeah what are you an animal? Put your shoes into the glory hole

You want things to squish between your toes in there Oh that's how that works That sounds nice Like jellyfish Just like Like jellyfish between your fucking toes. That sounds wonderful. But what you really want in the glory hole is traction, boys.

As a certified homosexual, maybe the first on your show. I don't know. I haven't heard it before. Where do you get your certification from? Was there like art instruction schools? Do you have like... I got it at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio. Okay.

Fair answer. Totally fair answer. That's entirely... What is the gayest dance? Oh, that's a great question. Oh, the Charleston. Is it? It's a sneak attack.

Have you ever seen the Charleston? It is the silliest, gayest dance. Everybody, including President Coolidge, were doing it. I thought he was going to come at us with like flamenco or something, but no, he's Charleston. It's Charleston. All right. Is that where they put their hands in front of their knees and do the wackadoo thing like that? Is that the Charleston?

That's part of it. I think that's part of it. Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. The wiggle waggle with the legs. With the legs. With the legs and you pretend like one hand's moving the other leg. The basic Charleston is just

a step forward, step back and then you're kind of kicking your legs out behind you in a little duck thing while you're making circles with your hands. Right. You have a dick in your mouth the whole time. That's what makes it super gay. That is what makes it gay.

I do feel like we've just discovered that the 20s were the gayest of all of the decades. And not only that, but that everybody during the depression looks like they were on meth. Well, they had to be on something. They outlawed alcohol. You got to do it. You got choices. We cracked that wide open,

boys. No alcohol. Amyl nitrate it is. Anyway. Let's us gaily dance, Meredith. Now listen, see, I'm going to suck your cock and then you suck my cock and it'll be a fine day out at the park.

I call this establishment the glory hole. Come on in, gentlemen. I was born in the wrong decade. So speaking of, I don't know, gay, let's talk about right wing watch. This story. That was a great transition. I feel like that segment was smooth. This is about gay.

It is about ex-gays. Peter LaBarbera is outraged at the gay couple on Star Trek. Okay, fine. You know, no story there. But delightfully, he's wondering where the ex-gay characters are. You know, I'm wondering that too. It seems like in the future, that's going to be all the rage. Yeah.

Like people will turn gay just so that they can come back as ex-gay. Yeah. I'm, I'm really hoping that, uh, you know, when we can travel across the universe at like faster than light speed and

a doohickey can make a Turkey dinner in two seconds. And we have met a zillion different species with all the different foreheads. two seconds and we have met a zillion different species with all the different foreheads that what translates is a self-hatred from the Iron Age.

That remains. It does feel like that's what we're looking at. We got a future of beautiful interstellar travel and really monitoring everybody's sexual behavior. I love that idea. It's like, alright, we've

invented a warp drive, but I'm curious what genitals you'd like to play with. I just love the idea of foreheads, like different foreheads. I love that. And you're right, because the only difference on Star Trek between the aliens is how bulbous or

not bulbous their forehead is. Also skin hue. I guess that's true. It's a hue. It's like, are you green? If so, how green? Are you like a forest green, for example? Like, if you fuck someone's forehead, does that make you gay? I can tell you no. That's a no experience.

It's a whole thing. I don't know. I got to do say fuck or finish on. I don't remember. I mean, either way. Does teabagging count? I don't know. I don't know say fuck or finish on. I don't remember. I mean, either way. Does teabagging count? I don't know. I don't know what the rules are in interstellar gay. It's never gay if you high five afterwards.

That is so true. Here's how I can verify that that's true. You can't get Mark to high five somebody. Won't do it. He just refuses. He refuses. We should have more self-respect in there. High-fiving.

And any gays listening, I don't know if you guys have a gay listening. You have to have more fucking self-respect. High-fiving is for straight guys and lesbians. And cool because you love sports and that's what you do. We shake hands. We hug.

We have other means of affection that I could show you if this was television. But I'll post some stuff on YouTube later. He's stroking me lovingly right now as we speak. It's just an obligation. There you go. To be outraged about Star Trek,

what I loved about it, because I listened to that whole stupid clip yeah i do love that uh you know he's doing the standard complaint about gay activists are never satisfied they always want more more more i'm like uh until they get to equal right right yeah they need more more more until that point that point. There is an end stop on that. And I'm totally happy to take that criticism from right-wing Christians who, they've got what they want, they don't want anymore. Right.

They're set. They're never complaining about not having enough. I got to say, I think that this is the absolute perfect place for X-gays is a work of fiction. I think that's an absolute perfect place for that. I'd watch that show. I gotta say, I know gay people and I know straight people. I don't know any ex-gay people.

They're just like, I am an ex-gay. Who even defines themselves as ex-gay? I know we were joking before about trying out the gay. But it doesn't make you ex-gay. It makes you were joking before about like trying out the gay. But it doesn't make you ex-gay. It makes you like bi-curious or what have you.

But not ex-gay. Like, oh, I was gay. And then I woke up one day and I was like, oh, it's fucking Wednesday. Now I'm not gay anymore. Yeah, and that's what good television would be is just a bunch of sad-ass motherfuckers like Mike Pence going, I'm so

happy now. It's just wonderful. Now that the Lord has delivered me to your vagina, mother. Mother, yeah, exactly. Dude, creeps the fuck out of me. Imagine like a Mike Pence sad

sack just moping around the Enterprise. Everybody else is discovering shit and fucking green things and, you know, having a good time. And guys in red jerseys are just getting snuffed on every new planet. He's just walking around like, I'm so straight. There's one Christian left in the future and he's flogging himself for being queer. What you have on that ship, though, you have Trump bringing all the red shirts in so he can shoot them in front of everybody and nobody cares.

Nobody cares at all. I could shoot a red shirt, it doesn't even matter. Somebody bring in an intergalactic wall, can't we? The Ferengis need to be kept out. Stay on your side of the galaxy, Jesus. I'm going to solidify the rings of Saturn.

You will not pass. Has the gay episode, have those characters been introduced? I've only watched the pilot. Oh, I have no idea. I've never watched any Star Trek, to be honest. I've only seen like the movies.

What the fuck? You've never watched any of the shows? I've never watched any of the shows. I've seen like a lot of the movies, though. I would watch them when I got sick. I'd get sick and stay home from school or whatever, and there'd be a Star Trek marathon. I guess I watched the old ones with the tights

and Kirk. I remember those. That was gay. Here's the thing. It wasn't when Kirk was banging some green chick. It wasn't gay then. I remember being a young man and being like, I want a green chick someday. There was an episode where Kirk was

fighting that alien, that green, like, not the green chick, but some basically, like, modified Godzilla costume alien. It was that dinosaur thing on that planet, right? And it was the gayest fight you've ever seen in your life. They were basically slap fighting each other. I don't think we're

allowed to use that as an adjective, guys. I'm going to go to Mark on this ruling. I'm going to allow it. All right. We're good. See, I wish I had my own gay row where I could just say, am I allowed to call this gay? Can we hire

you on as a token gay once in a while? Why don't you guys just, whenever that comes up, just DM me. Okay. I'll let you know. It's like three in the morning. It's like, sting up, these motherfuckers. What are you doing at three in the morning

that you need to know if it's gay or not? Okay, I've been on Grindr for four hours. Is this gay? If it's three in the morning and you're still doing it, it's gay. You went gay. Did you're wondering, you went gay. Did you notice what you named your own studio? Hey, hold on now.

The magic of the glory hole is that it's anonymous. You have no idea what's on the other side. You don't know if it's a guy's dick or a girl's dick. It's 2017. It's a brand new one. Could be. It's 2017. It's a brand new one. I don't judge, buddy. There's a dirty little secret and that is that it's always a guy on the other side of the glory hole. Every single

time, girls won't do it. So, I mean, enjoy it. It's still going to be good. It's probably going to be better. They know what it feels like to have a dick. It's probably going to be the best girl job you've ever had in your life, but it's a guy. I like to think it's Jesus always on the other side of the glory hole.

You know, I think the fucking beard hair gives it away, you know, like when you're... That guy feels so good. Velcro-y on the other side. Yeah, especially if you're going, you're not in shape in a while, you get stuck to the wall. You know, it's Jesus when you hear all that robe shuffling.

It's like, fuck. So much fabric in there. He's just letting you fuck the stigmata in his hand. Oh, wonderful. That would be awesome. He just gives the weirdest hand jobs. It goes straight through. I don't know.

So we're going to be joined by Mark and Dan from How To Heretic at the end of the program. So stick around for an interview about their show later on. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. This story is from LGBTQ Buzz. Catholic Archbishop says domestic violence is caused by women not obeying men. Well, that's a terribly enlightened point of view. Let's actually, I want to read what he actually said so that we're not taking this out of context. So he says, he told churchgoers in his sermon, quote,

the majority of cases of domestic violence happen because the woman's partner does not accept them or rejects them for not accepting their demands. Or often the macho reaction, macho reaction, beating a woman is a macho reaction, comes about because she asked for a separation. He also said many relationship problems occurred because the couple were not in a, quote, true marriage. And he criticized the practice of quickie divorces, quickie divorces. Is that like, is that like you set you, you sit across from the judge and they have one of those chest

timers you have to hit. So while you're going through discovery, you're just like, and I have this, okay. And I have this. And then they just keep tapping it. Is that how it works?

No, no, no, no. It's what it is, is a divorce where only one person comes. That's actually why you get a divorce. The idea that this Catholic archbishop, first of all, the idea that an archbishop has any idea how interpersonal relationships in a marriage work.

Right. Who's listening to this guy? Yeah. Who's listening to this fucking weird celibate? Someone said. Who cares? They, they,

they, social media, a bunch of people on social media. And one person wrote the Archbishop of Toledo has linked domestic violence to couples not being in a proper marriage. So says the celibate man who believes in a ghost. Do you not wonder sometimes when you read this crazy shit like

these guys are so out of touch. They are so out of touch. Do they not have anybody who's like, okay, no, we don't say that. That's not, we don't say that. Like, is there nobody vetting the kind of crazy shit that they say? Is there no? Well, you know, it's crazy

too because this guy, this guy here is an archbishop, right? How high up in the system is an archbishop? I think archbishop is right below cardinal and then cardinal is below pope, right? Oh, it's really high up. Yeah, it's pretty high up. I'm pretty sure that's...

And please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the Catholic hierarchy goes Pope to Cardinals, Cardinals to Archbishops, Archbishops to Bishops, and then Bishops to I guess Priests or something. Or... No, they only go forward and back.

Not side to side or back in time. Back in time. Yeah, they like to grope all the really small pieces on the board. You know, while you're vetting the guy, working his way up, I mean, isn't misogynist one of the tests, like where you just like hold up a bunch of fucking inkblots, and if he's like, I see a guy beating a woman, you're just like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't be this guy.

I just, I guess I feel like, like the concept of like you just shouldn't beat women. Yeah. It's just really easy. Yeah. You know, you shouldn't beat people. Right. Exactly.

Right. You don't beat people. Exactly. Right. But it's like, it's like, it's such a low bar. Like the standard is just so low. Like don't abuse people. Yeah.

And then there's a period at the end of that sentence. It's only three words, you know, like we don't have, it's. And then there's a period at the end of that sentence. It's only three words, you know, like we, we don't have, it's not even a nuanced issue. It's not like, well,

well, when can I, well, what if they weren't being nice? Like, no, we just don't abuse people. and the Catholic church doesn't know how not to blame the victim though.

They're really good. They do it with the, with the people that they rape, the kids that they rape and they did all, and they do it with, you know, the clearly they're doing here, too, where they're just like, well, you know, she didn't have such a big fucking flappy mouth. You know, I mean, he's clearly like, you know, this is the kind of guy who'd be like, well, what was she wearing? And for the United States of America to put the power of the federal government and all of its money and resources behind this transgender movement. It is just nothing short of insanity.

This story is from the Huffington Post. Trans teen sues Catholic health organization after being denied medical care. So this story is about a 17-year-old transgender boy. And this transgender boy needed to get an operation. He needed to get a breast operation, a chest operation. And his insurance said go. And his doctor said go.

And the hospital said no. Because the kid's trans. And the hospital is Catholic. Right. Yeah. And the reason I wanted to talk about this is that in so many areas,

the only available access to medical care are these private religious hospitals. And the idea that they can discriminate on religious grounds is one of the problems with the idea that a provider of public services like hospital services, we talked about this in relation to adoption services as well. When these private providers of what are really publicly consumed services, such as healthcare, when they are allowed to discriminate

based on religious grounds, the public suffers because they get to decide from a moralistic standpoint who they'll treat, who they'll care for, how they'll care for them. So the public is relying

on these institutions. And I don't know how you cannot look at those things and say, all right, you have a responsibility to the greater good. And you have to respond appropriately as an organization serving the people, serving the public, or cut that shit out. Yeah. I mean, what's to stop them from giving women contraception? You know what I mean? Like, the Catholic Church

does not like rubbers. Right. And they don't like the pill. And they don't like all these other things that we use as contraception. They don't like the day-after pill. They certainly don't like abortions.

Are they good with pulling out? You know. That's actually, no. Pulling out is, they call it the rhythm method, Tom. I'm not even kidding. We got a booklet. When Sarah and I got married in the Catholic church, we got a booklet. And the booklet was on the rhythm method.

Did it say, come on our tum-tum or what? That's it. It just said, if you squirt it all over, then it doesn't get inside of her. And that's all good just said it just said if you squirt it all over then it doesn't get inside of her and that's all good i guess no but they they they talk about how you have sex when you should not it's not pulling out it's just like you shouldn't have sex during her fertile period during the times that she can get pregnant and you should follow this this system So during the time where she's most likely to be most horny in the month. Yeah. Like when her body's like,

I want to get fucked. You're like, I'm going to go ahead and pass on that. Just be like, no. Said nobody ever. You're good.

Right? You're good. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They call that, so that's not pulling out. It's just abstaining

during the fertile period. Yeah. When she's like, when she's like, she's like watching UFC and like sitting on the banister or whatever. Yeah, that time of the month. Yeah, that's when it, yeah.

I don't know what. Yeah, I'm going to, the Catholics said I can't. Fuck that. I'm going to go take a bath again. Honey, that's your fourth bath today. I like the shower head. Is trusting God important? It's the only thing that gets favor from

him. He doesn't respond to pain or tears or heartache. He only responds to being believed. God, this is right wing watch. This is Dave, coach. Doc coach. Not a coach. Dobbenmeier. He agrees. I'm not sure who he agrees with. Oh, he agrees with Pastor Manning. Sorry.

That's the company you want to keep. Can you imagine a moment in your life where you're like, you know who he agrees with. Oh, he agrees with Pastor Manning. Sorry. That's the company you want to keep. Can you imagine a moment in your life where you're like, you know who I agree with? If Pastor Manning released a video called I fucking hate eggnog, I'd be like, I'm bathing in eggnog tonight. I might have misjudged eggnog. I really would. Is there a single life choice that you would not question if you were to agree with Pastor Manning? All right. It says God killed those people

who died in Las Vegas. This is on his past assault. Interesting. I listened to Pastor Manning yesterday. I haven't listened to him. On purpose? First mistake. I listened. I was just checking him out. You trying to horn in

on our business, buddy? I want to see what that hate filled weirdo says about. I haven't heard anything from him. I wonder if it's because he's anti-Trump that people aren't. Oh, I don't know. We should go. We should look for his stuff.

I haven't seen him on right wing watch in a while. And I think the reason why is because the crazy shit he says before was all about Obama and stuff. And now, since Obama's not in there, and I know he hates Trump, he calls him like the devil or the Antichrist or something. So, I know he hates Trump. We gotta go hunting.

I think it's time. I think it's time, Cecil. Okay, maybe we'll look for one. Him in a while, gotta get him back on. So, he said yesterday, I love truth. I love truth. That's what he said yesterday? What person doesn I love truth I love truth that's what he said yesterday what person doesn't love truth do they both hate soccer

is that what he's going to get after Pastor Manning is just exhausted chasing after anything can we bond over hating soccer Pastor Manning said hey we can deny this all we want to but God killed those people. God's a douchebag.

Yeah, God sucks. Gosh. But I mean, what's weird is... Doesn't God kill everybody who dies, though? Yeah, what's weird, though, is God had to get all those automatic rifles to kill all those people. God had a bump stock. Does God have to show his ID when he goes to those gun shows to buy 12 to 20 guns at a gun show? Or does he just walk in and he's like, Norm.

There's like, God! There you go. It's like when you go to the Dunkin' Donuts or something, they know your order. Yeah. You know, it's like, hey, it's God. I got an AK-47 for you. Hold on. There's a Colt M4 you're going to love.

I got six different bump stocks all for you. Oh, man. This one, you're going to love this one. You can shoot lightning bolts at a speed you can't even understand. God killed them. He let those people have them. God killed them. And he said, you go back to the Old Testament, and you go through that Old Testament all you want to, and you know what you're going to find out? God ordering people to kill people. He said,

God orders people to be killed. Well, then he's a monster. And I mean, that's just true, though. Read the Old Testament. Right. Yeah. killed. Well, then he's a monster. And I mean, that's just true, though. Read the Old Testament. Right. Yeah, he's fucking. Because he's a barbaric war god. He's like a bronze war god.

He's a bronze age war god or a mafia boss. I'm not sure which. You know, I was reading this transcript earlier and I was just thinking like, okay, if that were true, and I'm not saying it is because it's just obviously not. It's nonsense. But if that were true, it would still be monstrous. Yeah. Right? You would still be looking at a God who was not worthy of worship, right? Who was to be feared and despised.

Yeah. Not feared and loved. And we've reached a point here in America where there are a lot of people going to be killed. There are a lot of people going to be killed. Why? Because it's a judgment of God coming on America. He's got to send a hillbilly to do it? God's coming on America.

Oh, gross. Again? Again? Who has to eat the biscuit after he's done with it? Who's that? Well, I think the current one is Nate, right? That's the current coming on America. We had, what, Rita and Harvey.

So, you know, at least it's a nice bisexual. I like it. It's kind of like a menage a trois going on here. Right? Yeah. I'm just pleased everybody's coming. You know, it just seems, it's not selfish, you know? Come on. Literally. Get it to him right in the eye. Right in the eye. Hold it open. Hold it open.

The judgment of God. And if you think that you as a Christian are exempt, you think there are any Christians ever killed there in Las Vegas? Do you think you're exempt because you happen to be a Christian? Do you think you're exempt? So God's indiscriminate. That's weird. He's almost like a person with a gun. That's so weird.

It's almost like exactly what you would expect from wildfires and hurricanes and maniacs. And random fire into a group. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I love the idea that God's judgment, like he's calling on judgment.

Just said whoever. Yeah. Just what? This is, I'm going to teach you a lesson by beating your neighbor's dog. You better be right with me. That's all I'm saying.

But even if you are right with God. No, but that, no, but. He still kills you? No, but that's his, that's, the thing is, is I think

this guy believes the God hype more than most people because I think a lot of people are like trying to extend this life as much as they can, do as much as they can.

Jim Baker's a perfect example. Let's extend this life even though, you know, heaven's supposed to be super tits. Right. You know, he's still gonna try to extend this life even through the apocalypse you know, heaven's supposed to be super tits, you know, he's still

going to try to extend this life even through the apocalypse times with his buckets. Right. He's one of the few honest ones where he's just like, nope, get killed. Yep. But like, I think, I think he's cool with getting killed. I think he's okay with heaven, but that's the part I'm confused about because then what am I worried about? Yeah. Well, you got to get right with him because you got to go to the right place. That's what he's talking about. That's his whole argument is get right with God now. So when a maniac shoots me.

Because God is sending maniacs to kill everybody. And you better make sure you're right with that maniacal, crazy person who's sending other crazy people to kill you. Should you run from the bullets? I don't know. What's the point? What if you're right with God? Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know. Or you run from the bullets? I don't know. What's the point? What if you're right with God? Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know.

Or should you just be like, I don't know, whatever. Yeah. I'm going to just stand here, wave my arms and jump up and down. There was a guy flipping one off. I don't know if you saw, but there was a video of the guy

like when the shooting started, he's just flipping off the... Really? Yeah, just standing there. You can't hit, you can't. You're not going to hit that guy. How are you going to hit that guy? You can't hit that guy. It's random fire. It's random fire.

So how are you going to hit him? You're 400 yards away. But there's something so fucking supremely metal about that. It really is. I don't even know what to say. That's metal as fuck. That is metal as fuck. Holy shit. That is metal as fuck. That's also a lot of drinks in that guy. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Because you happen to live somewhere out in the country.

You really think you're exempt from that? Because you live somewhere out in the country? Yeah, well, I do like them country folk. Like, wouldn't the judgment of God be so much more effective if it was selective? Right. Wouldn't that send a message much more immediate? It's like he's got the Scantron sheet and he's just marking every box. He's just like, whatever.

It doesn't matter. I'm all got A through E on allron sheet and he's just marking every box. He's just like, whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm all got A through E on all these. I'm going to spell my name, G. I drew a puppy in bubbles. What's after G? No, no. And so he says number one, you better get yourself saved and you better get those around you that

you love saved because God's going to be killing a lot of people. So hold on. So what you got to do is get yourself saved because I won't save you. That's the key. I'm not going to save you. God's going to be killing a lot of people. God kills all the people. On a long enough timeline,

we all die. And if God's responsible for all life and death, it's like, yeah, message didn't change. It's super fucking consistent. It's just a matter of whether it's a heart attack or AK-47, I guess. Now, we don't like that theology, do we?

We don't like that theology because it sure seems pretty good to me. It also is honest. I mean, to be perfectly honest, that's probably the most honest theology that you're going to hear. If you're going to incorporate all that Old Testament, that's probably the most honest theology that you're going to hear. If you're going to incorporate all that Old Testament, that's probably the

closest philosophy you could have with God. Yeah, the part I want to focus on though is that that's pretty good to me. Yeah. You know, it's like, these guys like that. Yeah, no. They totally get off on that shit. Yeah, he's good with that. Yeah. Well, Tom, it's coming up on

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Nothing is, you could have sex in the sheet. Yeah. Like one of those like crazy Amish sheets. So that's a possibility. It's spooky. You could have sex in the sheet. Yeah. Like one of those crazy Amish sheets. Exactly. And cleanups easier after sex. You can have sex in a sheet. Wait, you're supposed to clean up after sex? Maybe they do.

I don't know. That's what the hose in the bedroom is for. Duh. But you can get it at AdamandEve.com. But seriously, if you go to AdamandEve.com Type in Glory at checkout You'll get 50% off any item Free sex swing

Free shipping And some free stuff So check it out at AdamandEve.com Remember to use Glory at checkout Alright so this is Right Wing Watch This is on Breitbart Louie Gohmert Gohmert

Go get it He says abortion is sacrificing kids This is on Breitbart. Louie Gohmert. Gohmert. Go, go, go, go, go, get it. Hey. He says abortion is sacrificing kids to the idol of self-centeredness. The idea is when an unborn child can feel pain, then there shouldn't be an abortion. And that's the scientific testimony indicates around 20 weeks. I'm glad they're following science now. This is the science that we're

going to follow. They're real willing to use science when it has any convenience to their narrative. When it backs my narrative up, I am totes science. I'm really down with that. The vast, vast, vast majority of abortions occur way before that 20 week mark. Way,ions occur way before that 20-week mark. Way, way, way before that 20-week mark.

And the third trimester, what they call late-term abortions, they are not only abundantly rare, but they are only ever performed in cases where there's significant medical emergency going on. They're not done as it means. It's not just like, I'm bored

of being pregnant. Right, exactly. It's not like, oh, I'm uncomfortable. I don't fit in my dresses anymore. That is a myth of the right-wing nuts. Sure. There's people out there, it's seven and a half months. It's like, oh no, changed my mind. That's not

happening. It's just not. Has it ever happened? Maybe. Right. Yeah. Because anything in large enough numbers, but in terms of like how big of an actual problem or issue is this, it's de minimis to the point of absurdity. We see that they can feel pain. And so we got that passed. And actually, there's also another bill, the heartbeat bill. It doesn't wait till 20 weeks. It's more like five to six weeks, which even though it doesn't have an exception for rape or incest. Jesus. What a monster.

Five or six weeks. Five or six weeks with no exception for rape or incest. This is an abortion ban. That's all it is. This is a ban by any other word. That's all it is. Right? Five or six weeks,

it's entirely possible to not know you're fucking pregnant yet. Exactly, because you could, especially if the way your periods play out, you might not. Right? You'd be like, oh, I'm a couple weeks late

because you might have had... Not everybody cycles on a regular schedule. Yeah. The fuck? Could you imagine if somebody... Five fucking weeks? Five weeks is... Holy shit. You better just every couple days just piss on a stick then.

You might as well just throw a urinal cake that's made of that stuff that changes color if you're pregnant. How much of this shit do you think is just judging women's sexuality? Absolutely. It's like, it's 90% of it. Let's cut all that fucking babies be babies bullshit. This is just judging women's sexual behavior and trying to control women's sex and sexuality.

And it's because they're the only ones who face the consequences of birth. It is. You've got about six weeks and you know when you're pregnant within six weeks. You might not. You might not. That's not always

true. There's a show where a woman's shitting out a baby at like 36 weeks. Someby woman is on the toilet jesus man shits out a baby what happened this is tv show about it i don't know yeah six weeks oh my god like a woman could be spotting and think it's i mean what the fuck you guys so many reasons why that's wrong there's so many I mean, what the fuck? There's so many reasons why that's wrong. There's so many.

This dude just doesn't want women to fuck. I've given birth to food babies with a heartbeat. I can, and you certainly can. And so even for them, there is a way out. But, you know, how do we determine if somebody's alive? What's the first thing you do? You run over and check for a heartbeat. Yeah, that's just, that's like a bare minimum

of whether or not we're going to do another battery of tests. Because I think the, I think the baby is alive heartbeat Venn diagram you're building here is a little skewed. It's a little weird.

I love it. That's the first thing I would do. I would check if they were breathing. First of all, I disagree with you. That's not the first thing I would do. Fuck, are they breathing? Yeah. Okay. Then maybe I'd check for heartbeat and then I would check to see if they're a fucking fetus.

Because if they're a fucking fetus, then they're not a person yet. Hey, this is super easy. Okay, I run over and I check that they have a heartbeat fetus. Because if they're a fucking fetus, then they're not a person yet. Hey, this is super easy. Okay, I run over and I check that they have a heartbeat. Cool. I call the ambulance. They come and they get them and then they find they're in a vegetative state.

Right. Okay. We talked about this before. Yeah, it's a vegetative state. Okay, well, do they have a fucking do not resuscitate? Because guess what? If they don't, then they're Tom Pettying. They're fucking way to fucking, you know, whatever.

They're going to Heartbreak Ridge or another song that he's saying. I don't know any songs. I can't, can't pun out on any of the songs. I don't know anything that he's saying. So we talked about this before. Like my line is, isn't viability. My line really is, is whether or not there's higher brain function. Yeah.

Right. You know, cause that's the line we draw with walking around people. Like if I'm drawing that line with grandma, I'm going to draw that line with the fucking baby. Exactly. And so this idea like, oh, well, it's breathing. Okay, well, so what? That's a brainstem. So what?

It's got a brainstem. Great. Right? So the idea is if a heartbeat's detected, then the life must be protected. But the National Right to Life says they wouldn't support that. I don't really understand why. This guy sounds drunk

all the time. He sounds like he's trying to reason with you to get his keys back. All the time. That's what he sounds like. This is a guy who, to me, he sounds like he just had a stroke. Like, right now. Like, he's just had a stroke. Like, right now. Like, he's currently having a stroke.

He's mid-stroke. Louie Gohmert constantly mid-stroke. The left side of his face has fallen off. That's how much of a stroke he's had. Everything he smells is burnt toast. Everywhere he goes is burnt toast and

orange marmalade. His golf game handicap? One stroke. They were the ones pushing the pain-capable bill and those of us that are... The what? Pain-capable bill if they're capable of feeling pain.

Pain-capable. I like that. I just thought it was like a new politically correct way of saying someone can feel pain. I'm pain capable. What about those people that are born that can't feel pain at all? Can you just kill them at any time?

They're pain incapable. What do you mean? Like, can you just abort them at like 30? Like, I'm sorry. The law says truly pro-life, you know,

we, we vote for any kind of bill, uh, the pain capable, the heartbeat, whatever it is. But we can't get the heartbeat to the floor because National Right to Life says they don't support it. So I don't know why. It's hard to imagine, except maybe it wasn't their idea.

But those of us that are truly pro-life, we rejoice in getting any bill passed that will save a life. And this will save, you know, 5 to 10 percent of the abortions that are done. It's going to save 5 to 10 percent of the abortions that are done. So embedded in there is that 90 to 95 percent of abortions take place already under that threshold. Yeah. Well, Well before 20 weeks. So it's solving a non-issue. Exactly. They're working their asses off to solve

basically a complete non-issue. Abortions for all. Very well. No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some miniature American flags for others. Sister is from time dot com. Pro-life congressman won't seek reelection after reports that he urged his mistress to get an abortion. So I love I love these holier than thou guys. Right So I love these holier-than-thou guys, right?

I love these guys. I'm talking about the guys that go to the men's bathroom and tap their feet. Is that the kind of guy you're talking about? Exactly. The guys who are like, oh, I was just snorting blow off a fucking hooker's ass yesterday,

and then I'm going to give this sermon on family values. It's like, really? Really? That's the plan? Yeah. Because you have to sleep at night, right? It happens all the time. It's like, really? Really? That's the plan. Yeah. That's because you have to sleep at night, right? Happens all the time.

It happens constantly. So this fucking guy, he's a pro-life Pennsylvanian Republican. I think that's redundant. Tim Murphy. So he urged his mistress to have an abortion.

This is a guy who is trying to make it harder and harder for other people. It's like, do as I fucking say, not as I fucking do. Literally. Yeah. This is the, the lady doth protest too much stuff. You know what I mean? Like you're constantly protesting, constantly putting up this false smoke screen. And at the same time you're like, yeah, I, I urged my mistress to get an abortion. Cause it's,

cause it's because in, in, in your case, in some other cases, it might be because of rape. It might be because of incest. It might be because of, you know, and I don't know that those are, those are the main reasons why people get abortions or, you know, there's, there's other problems and other issues that women have that they wind up getting an abortion. In your case, it was, I just don't want this to get out into the world. Yeah. Like in your case, it's not even to the level of rape or incest.

Right. Yeah. He's just got a mistress and he doesn't want to have a baby with the mistress. It's just really inconvenient to have a baby. I don't care. Right. Let me be clear about my stance on this. I don't care that he's fucking around. It means nothing to me. It's not violating my fucking contract with him. Right. I don't care that he's fucking around. I don't care that this mistress didn't want to have a baby. I don't care. None of that matters. All that I care about is that he's trying to restrict other people's access to abortion. When at the same time,

out of the fucking other side of his fucking mouth. Yeah. You know, he's, he's sending a text message. Let me read the text exchange. So the, the,

the newspaper, the Pittsburgh post Gazette got ahold of this text exchange. She writes, you have zero issue posting your pro-life stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week when we thought that was one of the options. Later, he writes in response, I get what you say about my March for Life messages. I've never written them.

Staff does them. I read them and wince. I told staff, don't my March for Life messages. I've never written them. Staff does them. I read them in wince. I told staff, don't write anymore. I will. So it turned out she wasn't actually pregnant, so she didn't need the abortion. So fine. But this is a guy, he didn't write back,

what the fuck are you talking about? That's not in the fucking text exchange. Which if you never asked your fucking mistress to get an abortion and she wrote you a text about this, you would write back something like the fuck you talking about. You sound crazy. Right. Why are you saying you clearly sent this to the wrong person? Right.

Because this shouldn't be for me. Yeah. So everybody else that's in a situation that they, you know, feel like an abortion might be an option for them. All those other people, according to his worldview, they got to eat that shit, right? Because that's what his politics say.

He doesn't even care. He doesn't care. His response is like, I don't even care. It's just that's the fucking pro-Republican message. This is what my party wants of me and I have to do what they want. I'm not an individual.

I'm a person who follows my party. Right. This is what being on that side of the aisle looks like. I will say too, follows my party. Right. This is what being on that side of the aisle looks like. I will say too, I wonder, this makes me wonder, are there any anti-abortion liberals that have to do the same thing? I bet there are. Yeah. They're just toeing a line. Yep. They're just in that party and they know that they're never going to get any votes if they are like, hey, you know, I just really don't feel like. But the difference is that if you are on the other side of the aisle, nobody's rights are

being restricted. Right. Right. And so there's a key difference here. It's like, yeah, that's not my issue. I don't care about that issue. I actually prefer if people don't get, you know, I don't like it, but nobody's rights are being restricted. This motherfucker on the other side doesn't even care. Yeah. And yet he's going to restrict access to this medical procedure for women who might need it. While at the same time trying to avail himself of the same thing that he purportedly despises for his own political and financial gain. But I think that the other side would argue the rights that are being restricted are of the unborn child. Those are the rights that are being restricted. That would be the argument.

So that would be the argument against that. Even though you and I both agree that that child, until it has higher brain function, doesn't actually have rights because it's not a person. But they would make a different argument. That's true. Yeah, that's a good point. Here we go. AK-47.

The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room except no substitutes. This is right-wing watch. This is Brian Fisher weighing in on the Vegas shooting. Brian Fisher? In a while. I know. Kind of this Brian Fisher. Silver-haired fox

has been out of the limelight. I think a lot of these people, because they're not totes bashing Obama anymore, they don't have anything to say. They're just like, now they're just like, yep, we all hate gays and they're just boring. You know, it's just like, yeah.

I wonder if like, if these guys, if you're right, these guys don't lose some of their luster, right? There's nothing for them to fight back on. Yeah.

So this is Brian Fisher talking about the problem about guns in the Las Vegas shooting that we just didn't have as many as we should have had in that situation. I just go to Terry in Wichita, Kansas. Terry, welcome to Focal Point. What's on your mind? Talk to me. Got about 30 seconds. Hit me with your best shot. Well, my best shot is this. If you take guns out of the hands of common citizens,

this is going to happen more and more. What if somebody that was next door to him who had a legalized handgun could have gone in there and stopped him before the police could ever have made it up to that room? Oh, let's talk about that. Yeah, let's talk about that. So let's say I'm in my room masturbating.

All right. Because I'm in a hotel room and that's what I do. That's what you do when you check in say I'm in my room masturbating. All right. Yeah. Because I'm in a hotel room and that's what I do. That's what you do when you check in. I check in. I masturbate the entire time I'm there and then I leave. That's how it works. I literally don't understand what a hotel room would be for otherwise. I don't know why. I make sure that the sheets stick to the bed. So I'm in my hotel room and... Watching bad babysitters too. I have my headphones on and I hear this loud thumping sound. Right.

So I immediately stand up, reach for my gun, which clearly is something that I have as a different gun. I've been playing with the one gun. That one's already fired. One is my pistol. What is it?

One is my gun. One is my rifle and one is my gun. This one's for shooting and this one's for fun. I forgot it was. Anyway, I grab my gun. One is my rifle and one is my gun. This one's for shooting and this one's for fun. I forgot it was. Anyway, I grab my pistol. I step out the door

and then I kick the door in and I dirty hairy shoot this guy who's murdering people in the street. That's what I do. That's what they think is going to happen. That's his fantasy. That's what they think is going to happen. That's the fantasy.

The reality is that an armed security guard in this circumstance was fired at 200 times and shot by this guy. Like, we as armed citizens are not a SWAT team. You're not a SWAT team. Just because you bought a gun at fucking Mega Shooty Shoot World does not make you a fucking SWAT team guy. You don't know how to storm the castle, motherfucker. Are you kidding me? What are you, Legolas? You're going to count the orcs as you kill them?

Are you fucking kidding me? Are you going to take a shield and then slide down? Look, you're some normal guy. You're not kicking the fucking hotel room door down. They're built so you can't kick the door. That's the first thing, right? You'd have to somehow get in the room. You're not going to get in the room. That's the first thing, right? You'd have to somehow get in the room. Right. You're not going to get in the room.

That's number one. Two, like you said, this guy opened fire into that hallway. Right. Just opened fire into the hallway, right? He peppered the fucking security guard like you're just going to get shot. What you need to do in that situation is the smart thing. You turn around, you go to your phone, and you say, there's a guy shooting next door to me. Right.

I can see the flashes. I can hear the gunfire. I can hear the screaming. there's a guy shooting next door to me. I can see the flashes. I can hear the gunfire. I can hear the screaming. He's in the room right next to me. 23B, right? Now the cops know right where to go. They don't have to fucking echolocate the shots. Exactly, right?

And for a while, they were doing this. The reason why they found this guy, the reason why they found him is because the smoke alarm went off. That's how they found him initially. The smoke alarm went off because all the gunfire, the thing that they said that in that meme that I was telling you about, like last week, the thing that they were saying that, that,

uh, that he did, they said he disabled the smoke alarms. He specifically didn't do, because that's how they, that's how they found him. Right. Right.

Yeah. We're going to bust in some average fucking look. The average guy who owns a gun is like you and I. Yeah. Right? How much training do you have with your pistol? Training. Training?

I only have a safety course that I would only consider that a safety course. Right. And an aiming course. Yeah, right. So I would say that I have zero minutes of actual training. Zero minutes of training. I have zero minutes. It doesn't prevent me from having a gun. I have zero tactical experience. Right.

Yeah. I'm going to fucking storm the fucking castle. I'm going to get killed. More guns in that situation is not a helpful thing. Also, the people on the ground, they're 400 yards away. You don't want to pull out a pistol with like a fucking inch and a half barrel. And start shooting at the

windows of Mandalay Bay? Yeah, start shooting at Mandalay Bay. Even if you had a long gun, it would be a hard shot. It would be an unbelievably hard shot. With a long gun. Yeah, right. With a.30-06 with a scope and a fucking and a bench press. Yeah, exactly.

The whole thing that you would need to shoot at something really far away, only a highly trained person would be able to pinpoint shoot. Now, if you were just going to want to throw fucking shells at something or, you know, throw bullets down there, rain lead, that's not an issue. That's easy. That's easy. Well, you know, and again, I would say the same thing I've said.

I don't know what options would have existed. I think it's a good question to raise, Terry. Might have been difficult. The door is locked. I think the cops had to bust it down. I don't know how many people are going to do that, even if they hear the shooting from inside the window. But that certainly would create the possibility,

if there was somebody next door with a weapon, maybe this thing could have been stopped before 55 people were dead. Again, the problem is not too many guns, but too few. No, no, no. The problem is solved by a phone call. How is too few? Like, how many more guns? How many more guns do we need in that situation?

What is the number? Is it a thousand more guns that would have solved that problem? I think every room needs to be rigged with booby trap guns so if you know someone is committing a you just press the button downstairs the hotel people can do it. They just, they're like, oh, somebody's committing a felony in a room and they can just

press it and kill you. Yeah. Well, why don't we just build the rooms and just suck all the air out of the room? Just like fucking vacuum chamber rooms. Yeah, like every hotel is out of the room. Just like fucking vacuum. Yeah. Like, like, like, like every hotel is the cell or whatever. The cube, the cube, the cube,

every hotel room is the cube and every hotel manager is pinhead. I think that that would work out just fine. Okay. So what do you need? Besides a miracle guns, lots of guns. So the story is also from Right Wing Watch. This is Dave, coach.

Doc coach. Not a coach. Dob and Meyer. Now this fucking dimwit is wondering if the Las Vegas shooter was a government mind-controlled assassin. This is that MKUltra stuff, right? But hang on, because to combine those, he is a government mind-controlled assassin sent by God as judgment. Oh, that's right.

That's right, because you're right. Because he's not only sent by God because he's going to kill everybody. Yeah. Maybe what he's, I think what he's trying to say is that like, God is like Herbert Hoover, and he will control the government and created MKUltra. Maybe he's like a politician that created MKUltra. Let's hear it. Okay.

I know that Russ has told us many times, and he's been with this. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So in big letters at the bottom with duck coach live down there, coach Dave live in big letters in a San Serif letters. It looks like a hell Vatican. Maybe it says MK ultra is real. I love it. MK ultra. It's like when you're driving through Indiana and they have that one side is real. Hell is real. Yeah. it. MKUltra. It's like when you're driving through Indiana and they have that one sign.

God is real. Hell is real. Hell is real, yeah, right? Yeah, I'm in Indiana. Of course, hell is real. You have to tell me. I can smell it. Often here on our show

about mind control being used to create super soldiers, hidden assassins that are going to emerge. All this stuff that we don't want to believe. Because you're making it up. I love when they say one soldier. That 64-year-old man. That super old dude was like a super soldier.

What was the point of his soldiering? Yeah. Like, wouldn't the soldiering have to have some purpose some some because it didn't do anything right just like every other mass shooting in america nothing happened yeah nothing changed yeah why would you have a soldier who's a super you're wasting your super soldiers yeah if you want to you're wasting your super soldiers on mass murder we don't care yeah america doesn't care anymore. It's done. It's fucking over. We fucking,

we shook our heads and we behaved like we were real sad about it. We're done. And nobody cares. We don't give a shit. We're done with this. You know,

it's interesting this week. Last week, we talked about these three guys that were trying to blow up the apartment building. Yeah, yeah. Because there were Somali guys in there. There were Somali guys in there.

And those guys were terrorists, right? Right. They were terrorists. And we posted this online. We posted terrorists. And there were so many people that went out of their way to tell us, you know,

aren't you glad you found white guys that could be terrorists? And I said, I got into an argument with one of them and I was like, well, no, I'm not happy that they're white. I'm just pointing out that they're terrorists. That's all I'm doing. I'm not happy that they're white. I'm just pointing out that they're terrorists. That's all I'm doing.

I'm not minimizing other terrorism because these three guys happen to be white. I just happen to call terrorist acts terrorism, all terrorist acts. Regardless of who you are, you should be called a terrorist, right? So when somebody drives a fucking truck through Cologne and crushes a bunch of people and says, I did it for ISIS. That's a terrorist act, right? When a guy tries to change the mind of all local apartment buildings by blowing one up so that they don't rent to Somalis anymore because they don't want the Somalis in their area, that's terrorism, right? This guy who rained fire down on that group, I don't know that I'd call that terrorism

because there's no point to it. There's no political action that's being, he didn't leave some sort of manifesto that said, these are the reasons I'm doing this. It's just, it's a puzzle. He's just a mass murderer. He's a serial killer, right? That's what he is.

But he's not a terrorist in the right? That's what he is. He's not a... But he's not a terrorist in the same... It's not the same thing. Because there's no attempt for political gain. Right. It's a political thing. Right. Yeah. And it's funny because, like, what's the purpose? What's the point? And that's what you're getting at.

What's the point of this MKUltra thing, right? The MKUltra would make sense in a terrorism thing, right? Because you're trying to change something. Yeah. There's a political agenda. There's some political agenda,

right? Like, like you did it so that we, you know, shut down Congress and gave president, you know, all unilateral powers or something, right?

That's why you would do it. Right. Yeah. Not just so everybody would just be like, huh, that's weird. Hey, looks like ground Chuck's you would do it. Not just so everybody would just be like, huh, that's weird. Hey, looks like ground chuck's on sale. Which is

America's reaction to mass shooting. Yeah, exactly. We are doing nothing about that. Yeah, we don't do anything about it. It's not like we created, this guy was an MK Ultra operative so we would ban guns. Yeah, well, and we're not gonna do that. That's not happening, right? That's not fucking happening. Do you know what we're gonna do about this? Nothing. Nothing, which is what we did last time there was a mass shooting and we're not going to do that. Right. Right. We're not going to do it. That's not fucking happening. Do you know what we're going to do about this? Nothing. Nothing.

Which is what we did last time. There was a mass shooting and last time there was a mass shooting. And next time there's a mass shooting, you know what we'll do about it? Literally nothing. Nothing. We don't care. Yeah. We don't, we shouldn't even pretend we care. We should almost stop covering it. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. If we don't care, just stop. There was a, uh, we, we played the clip from it a while ago, but there's a, there's a guy who basically, just stop. There was a, uh, we, we played the clip from it a while ago, but there's a, there's a guy who basically is being interviewed. He's a psychologist. He's like, don't start your broadcast with sirens blaring. Don't do, you know, he's like naming all the things that they do that in the media that they do to glorify these shootings. He's like, don't

do any of that stuff. Just report it locally and be done with it. Don't mention the person's name and just move on. And nobody ever does that. These mass sudden goes bonkers and starts killing a bunch of people bunch of guns in his book uh i don't want to discuss his case here's what i wanted here's what i want why we have russell on this morning the idea that this is real but the idea that now whether this guy was a mind-controlled assassin. We don't know that. I think we can... There's some things you could just rule out because the evidence for it you would need would be pretty fucking significant.

I feel like he's not a centaur. Yeah. We've got to rule that out. I have no reason to believe he was a centaur. He might have been hung like a centaur. We don't know. If you're a centaur. We don't know. If you're a centaur, do you get the man penis or the horse penis?

Do you get the man penis? No, I don't want the penis. I want to get the vagina. That's what I want to get. I want to use my enormous horse cock. Would you have a horse cock or would you have a man penis? Because you would be laughed at by all the horses. I'm laughed at by all the other men.

If it's a man penis on the size of that horse. Are you kidding me? Yeah. How would you even maneuver yourself to get it in there? Yeah, but I feel like I'm all bottom half horse in this situation. Okay. Why would the fucking dong be the only thing? It's just like, you're like, yeah, I'm all.

Oh, motherfucker. God damn it. God. Got the embarrassing dongs. And he can't even put pants on. It's like, oh, man, it's my little penis. It's like, I went into the pool. I was really hoping you were like emotionally invested before you saw that.

It's like your first Tinder date. So I'm a centaur with a small penis. Let me just say, I am not intimidating. Actually, that would be a great Tinder profile. A centaur with a small penis? A centaur with a social justice penis. That would be great.

But the idea that he was a mind control assassin is not far out. It's not far out, folks. Oh, no, you are mistaken. No, it's far out. Super far out because you're making it up and then just deciding that it seems plausible with no evidence at all that that's plausible. Like none. We have no history of any mind controlled government assassins.

We don't have any history of any of these people. I love these guys that watch like fucking the Manchurian Kennedy. Right? What the fuck? Like, look, 24 is a TV show. Yeah. It's just, are you fucking kidding me?

And if you're foolish enough to think that this is tinfoil hat stuff and this isn't going on, I don't know. Again, I don't know what to tell you. We know this stuff is real. And so as I... Well, how do we know it? It just seems like a weird place to start an argument

that's all. Okay listen we all know it's real and if you think it's not real you're wrong about its realness now that we've established the reality of it we're going to have this argument but I've got to have this one premise just give me one circle back around.

The Antifa, these guys that are out in the... The what? The Antifa. Antifa. The Antifa. Street, is it possible? Come on, folks.

This is the ultimate tinfoil hat. I understand that. Wait, you just said that you knew it was possible and now it's ultimate tinfoil hat. He went from like... Didn't he say not to dismiss this as tinfoil hat?

60 to zero. Very short amount of time. He went from like, and didn't he say not to dismiss this as tinfoil? 60 to zero. And very, very sure. Are you against himself at this point? We saw Obama talk about a civilian police with military. Remember, remember that? Well,

you didn't even say what a civilian police with military. Is that what he said? I don't know. Let's listen to what he said. Let's see what he said again. Civilian police with military. Remember, remember that police with military? Is that what he said? I don't know. Let's listen to what he said. Let's see what he said again. Civilian police with military. Remember that? Police with military.

Remember that? Yeah. I remember when Obama was like, hey, we should have a civilian police. What, did he power down halfway through? Got to put more fucking double A batteries in him? I think he's saying that there was going to be a civilian military force, but I don't remember.

First off, I don't make any sense force. Yeah. It would be, that doesn't make sense. Yeah. Two things that are definitionally opposed. It's going to be a matter.

Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? Remember that question? Does it mean that he created that civilian military force? Or is he now somehow in charge of that civilian military force? What are you talking about? What civilian military force?

Obama's still in charge of a civilian military? I think I got this. Oh, here we go. Really? So Obama went to the AARP. And what he did was he took a survey of all the people who were, you know, busy doing things that also like guns. And he had them all mind controlled. And now whenever Obama wants, he just flips a switch somewhere and he lets

one of these guys go off and shoot a bunch of people why? well cause he's in charge oh this is how he solidifies his power over the deep state? am I doing it right? the thing is

there was one person at that concert from the deep state and obama wanted to show him who was boss damn yeah that motherfucker doesn't fuck around it's like fucking joe pesci just fucking kill the whole room and is that civilian military force we see out in the streets maybe being paid by Soros. Yes, he is. God damn it. Controlled by Obama as a mind controlled civilian military police force funded by George Soros. Also, George Soros, this is out for you.

This is for you, buddy. I know you're a big fan of the show. If you could become a patron at the $1 million level, that would be super awesome. You know, you can afford it. You know, you could become a $1 million patron. It's not that much money, George. You know you can afford it. You know you could become a $1 million patron. It's not that much money, George. It's a lot to me, but it's not a lot to you. You would not

believe the patron extras at a million dollars. Let me tell you something. Anytime you want to come to the Glory Hole, you are welcome, George. You will leave a satisfied customer. You will leave a satisfied septuagenarian. Folks,

there's something else. Somebody's surface just restarted. That wasn't us. That wasn't us. We'll listen to it again. That's their office. That's the office. Sorry, we needed to do an update during your show. It's their office. That's the office. Sorry, we needed to do an update during your

show. It's fucking awesome. Out in the streets, maybe being paid by Soros, but folks, there's something else. It's punctuated. It's punctuated by that fucking Windows sound.

It's amazing. What's going on in the minds of these people? They just ain't crazy. They just ain the minds of these people. They just ain't crazy. They just ain't doing this for money. They just ain't crazy. They just ain't crazy. They just ain't doing it for money. I don't know. I have no idea what that means.

I don't know what any of that means. You know, I'm going to have to call George Soros to help me fund that. No, I figured it out. What was rebooting was him. so we're back with dan and mark from how To Heretic. Tell us about your show, guys. Exactly. How do I heretic? Well, you're going to have to tune in. We're not going to tell you on your show.

Oh, fuck. That's our material. No. The idea is that there are a lot of, you know, there are good atheist shows out there. Your guys' show, you know, my other show, Thank God I'm Atheist, all of these shows are great, but they're kind of a deep dive. If you haven't read your Hitchens and your Dawkins yet, you might not know where we're all coming from. So Mark and I wanted to do a show that basically

if you're fresh out of religion... Or still in a bit. Or whatever. What we want to do is take people who don't know how to live life on the outside of this religion thing and just hold their hand a little bit. Walk them through it. Let's let's have some fun together. So you're going to be a little less harsh than say we would about certain things like in the news and whatnot. You're going to try to are you going to try to talk to them about

apologetics? Yeah, we're not even talking about news. There's no current events. It's not about that. What we're talking about is things like, you know, Mark and I were both raised Mormon. When we left, we didn't know how to drink. So, you know what? We'll teach you how to drink.

I like this. This is very practical. If you left your religion and you don't know how to gay, but you want to, we're going to teach you how to drink. I like this. This is like going to walk you through it. It's very practical. If you left your religion and you don't know how to gay, but you want to, we're, we're going to teach you how to gay. We're going to teach you how to, we'll teach you how to drugs. We'll teach you how to whatever you need.

You could teach them how to get into it. Certain dances like the Charleston. You could teach those things as well. Yeah. We're your audio uncles. That's what we do. That's what uncles are for. We're going to guide you through it. Yeah. So while it's fun to

tune into you guys or Noah and Eli and Heath and listening to everybody take a shit on David Smalley, I think the newer people... You can fit a lot of shit on such a little guy. I'm just saying from a surface area perspective, it's surprising. A lot of people are like, who, what, what's I just, I've, and Dan and I come

from, you know, for Mormonism, which is a very all or nothing proposition. It was, it was, you know, all day Sunday. It was an activity every night of the week. It was, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Can we go back all day? Not just an hour before football, but all day? No, it's three hours of fully expected attendance. And then there's probably something after that, like, you know, whatever. You've got a calling or something that you're supposed to do. Something before that. It's a fucking nightmare. We weren't like Methodists or, you know, Episcopalians or whatever.

It's this very all or nothing proposition. None of those pussy religions. Who's raised Methodist? You weren't a Unitarian, is that what you're saying? Oh, fuck. Big slow on Unitarians out of nowhere. Man, fuck off Unitarians.

I kind of, they're though, Unitarians are fucking they all smell like patchouli. That is a wishy-washy religion. I know, like, come on, man. Like, fucking grow a unicorn and get the fuck out of that thing what are you kidding me somebody tried to convince me years back to like you would like the universal unitarian like that and i was like no i wouldn't they sound terrible you still have to go to church right yeah fuck that like it's like church without god i'm like that's my house yeah hey, there's pot roast at home. What are you talking about?

Is your house like organ music and incense? Because I'm into it. Yeah. Whose isn't? That's a weird question. So, yeah. For people who came out of these all or nothing propositions, like you literally don't know what to do with your time.

You don't know how to find a social structure. Like people from say assemblies of God or Scientology or, you know, any of these serious, serious mind fucks. There's a, you know, one of our segments is going to be how to Sunday.

Yeah. Like now that you're nice, nice Sunday. Yeah. We'll teach you. We'll, I mean, most folks who like it already know how to do football,

but like we can teach you about brunch. Yeah. I love this. I feel like you should just play that Simpsons episode where he stops going to church and like watch on his bathrobe and eats a waffle. Like everybody's stupid except me. And that's a perfect Sunday. So, uh, so not only are we doing that, we're also going to discuss things like we have a segment called Graveyard of the Gods where we dig up a dead and buried God and talk about how stupid that was. And it's all just sort of a lot of just to sort of remind people because people, you know, when you're still sort of unpacking your own religious belief and you realize that what you've been believing your whole life is ridiculous, you then it's nice to have some context and say, you know what? People have believed ridiculous shit going back all the way to the beginning of people. And so, and we got that, we got, uh, what are some other, we have, we have a fantastic philosophy professor who comes on as a guest and talks in very, very clear language about logical fallacies.

Yeah. So we teach you how to think better. We've got a psychotherapist who comes on and talks to you about how to come out to family, when to come out to family as an atheist or as a nonbeliever. We're just trying to ease people through the process and have a delightful time, uh, the whole time. You know, it's interesting because when you're in a religion, you have that community around you, that sort of support structure that handles a lot of stuff in your life. And they're, they're there for you. And they're also that you're sounding board for a lot of this stuff. This is a really great idea to create it. It's almost like you're creating a for a lot of this stuff. This is a really great idea to create it.

It's almost like you're creating a non-church community that gets a chance to sort of discuss what it's like to not be in church. It's not just for people who are newly out. Hopefully it's going to be fun for everybody. I think it's pretty funny. I'm adult, but Mark is a hilarious guy and we just have a lot of fun on the show.

Because I'm gay. It's the gayness that really does a sassy gay friend you can tell from my super gay voice that's our secret sauce uh you don't want to see it or smell it but it's fun there uh and then uh and so hopefully it's good for everybody, but especially for people who, you know, I've just had so many encounters with people who say, you know, I'm so happy to be done with church, but I just, you know, I don't know what to believe now. I don't know how to think in the ways, you know, because when you grow up in a religion, you weren't taught to think. Right. So like with Mormonism, you hand over all this freedom and all this time and all this money and all this shit. And what you get for that is all the answers. Right.

You don't have to think about a bad deal. I mean, if the answers were true, it's not a bad deal. It's all bullshit, but it's not a bad deal. So when you don't have to think about anything, like you just have to obey the rules, read the shit, show up and pay your tithing. So when that goes away, there is in some cases terror. I don't even know how to engage with this frightening world that I was taught was evil. What do I read? How do I date outside my religion if I've never even thought of that? Right. And none of this would have occurred to me.

None of this would have occurred to me in a million years. I would have just been like, yeah, I don't go to church. I just get to stay home and masturbate. Like, wahoo. For people like that, it's an easier, smoother transition because you've already been fucking up. Like, you were probably having sex already and you were probably drinking already

and all of that sort of stuff. Those are still on my bucket list. I hear good things. When you get around to it, tune into our show and we'll give you a little bit of help. And by the way, Tom, both of those things, you should have a bucket. Just a rule of thumb. Sex, drinking, and ayahuasca

ceremonies. You get your own special sex buckets. You can get them at adamandeve.com. You get half off your own sex bucket. So did you guys ever see that amazing documentary, The Devil's Playground? Yeah. Which is sad and amazing about the kids that go on Rumspringa. Rumspringa, yeah. It's an amazing documentary, yeah.

Just think of that in a slightly more modern context where people leaving something as, as, you know, life detailing as Mormonism are just kind of, you know, if, if they have a faith crisis or whatever and walk out into the broader world, it can literally be shocking.

Is the temptation to just go hog wild with like every opportunity? Yes. And that's part of our thing is like, you know, when a lot of people leave, uh, like for instance, any,

any religion that doesn't allow you to drink. And then you go out and, you know, you leave it when you're in your mid twenties, mid thirties, whatever. And it's time to start drinking. And all of your friends,

all of, you know, everyone that you're going to meet, who's already a drinker, they already know what they're doing. They've, they've been through college. They know,

they know the binging and they know their limits and they know the stuff. They did all the throwing up. It's behind them. Right. So like, yeah, no, that's a good point. It took me a lot of years to learn how to drink without being a fucking train wreck. Right. Exactly. So hopefully we'll give you like sort of the, the inside lane for that so that you don't have to go through all of the bullshit, all of the vomiting and all of the nastiness. And we'll just get you straight. We'll, we'll, we'll jump you straight into experienced. How long, how long were both of you in Mormonism?

I, well, I, so I left it, uh, right before I was supposed to go on a mission. And that's like 17 or something. It's not, it was 19 when I was around. Uh, it's, it's since been lowered to 18 if you want to. Uh, and so I was 19 having a bit of a crisis of faith and, uh, you know, I was like, shit, am I going to go out into the world and preach something that I'm not positive about? And that felt really weird. So I went and talked to my Bishop who's actually sort of the equivalent of a parish priest, but, uh, but they call him a

Bishop. And I, and I basically said, look, I'm having this crisis of faith. And he was like, well, maybe, you know, let's blah, blah, blah. It didn't work. None of the things that we tried worked. And that's when I left. Honestly, like, what do you try when you're having a crisis of faith? I would think that like once that door gets cracked open, it's probably really hard to shut that door. Well, here's for me, it was like, I just did, I literally spent about six months intensely, always praying and reading scripture and basically begging God to, uh, to, to come back into my life. And I went, you know, I went through this whole process and after six months,

I was just exhausted. So that's when I went to my bishop and I said, look, I don't know what, what else to do. I don't feel God's presence. I don't feel like I've been, you know, there's this promise in Mormonism that if you pray enough, God will reveal himself to you. And I didn't feel like it was happening. And he said, you know what, maybe it'd be good for you to go through the temple, which is a big deal in Mormonism to go through the temple. And you have to have a recommend, you have to go through an interview with the bishop and be recommended for this. And you have to go through an interview with the bishop and be recommended for this. And you have to, you know, it's very probing. It's face to face.

It's face to face confession. Right. Exactly. So I said, great, let's do that. We sat down. He opened up the binder that has all of the questions that he has to ask me. And the first one was, do you believe in God, the eternal father and in his son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost? And I said, well, I don't know.

And then he just stared at me for a while. He's looking at his answer key. And he's like, wait a minute. It's just my Scantron just has yes mark. That's exactly it. And I said, oh, I have to answer yes. Don't I? And he kind of nodded and I went, oh, well, okay, goodbye. And I literally like stood up, shook his hand and walked out and never walked back in. Wow. So, and in my case is fairly different because I grew up in a pretty hardcore Mormon family and also it's an extremely fucked up family. And those two things aren't necessarily always together.

They're usually together, but they're not always together. It's frequent. So, uh, around age 10, I started realizing there was something different about me. And I was terrified of any concept of gay, but it was about that time that I realized I was different from the other boys and I'd better bury this shit as deeply as possible. But I, I knew at that point I didn't have a place at the table. And so I just kind of had to live behind enemy lines for the next like, you know, eight or nine years until I could get myself out. So my, I, I, I saw my lack of belief as a, as a failing rather than what I see it as now, which is thank God that was the case. I didn't believe because that saved my bacon in the end. But I,

I had to go to, you know, I still had to go through all the motions for like eight more years. I had to go to church three hours every Sunday. Wow. You had to fake it for eight years. Oh yeah. I,

I honestly don't think I would have survived if I'd come out as gay, uh, because there was a pretty high mortality rate in the 70s and 80s for gay people in Mormon country. It's still, we have a massive youth suicide epidemic because for this reason, which is, again, part of what Dan and I are trying to do with this show is just bounce some kindness and some information

and some help over the transom to somebody that may be in, you know, rural Idaho that could really use this. Yeah. And, you know,

also we want to make sure that people understand that like, it's not darkness and, and misery out in the world when you lose God, it's, it's fun and joyful and there's a, there's a great life to be had. Uh, and,

and all, but the constant thing that people hear when they're in religion is how miserable atheists are and how the devil has their soul. And it's clinical and cold and scientific. Right. And there's no joy. They just feel this emptiness in their soul and blah, blah, blah. And fuck that. My life is about fun.

It's interesting because Julia Sweeney has a book called Letting Go of God. It's great. And yeah, it's amazing. And her audio version of that book is wonderful. It's just her doing it on stage. And she talks about a moment when she finally sort of let go and she was walking across her yard and she wasn't sure how she was standing on the ground because she thought for her whole life that god kept people on earth and she was just like how am i not flying off into this sky and then she's like wait gravity like duh gravity works and but she but there's a moment you know that you can clearly tell like that was that was the thread that kept it all together that kept her whole world together and when somebody unravels that, that's

a big fucking deal. And it can be really difficult and it can cause some serious anxiety. And to have something like, something that you guys are going to put out here, I think that's a great resource for people. Well, thank you. Yeah, we hope so. We may not be good at it. I don't know.

Everybody will have to make their own call on that one. But we're doing it. So yeah, I have high hopes for it. I don't know. Everybody will have to make their own call on that one. But we're doing it. So yeah, I have high hopes for it. I think I really... We've had a lot of fun recording it. We've got three episodes out now and more to come once a week. And some good ideas

for the future. So I think we're going to have a lot of fun. That's great. Where can people find it if they're going to look for it? In my house. Just come on over. So our website is howtoheretic.com. Yep. Where our episodes are.

There's also a link to the Patreon page. We're on iTunes and whatever pod blaster you want. Hopefully, we're up there now. And yeah, just HowToHeretic. Just search that and you should find us. Wonderful. We'll put links to your show and to your social media on this week's show notes. This is 382.

Gentlemen, thanks for joining us. It was an absolute blast to have you on. We hope to have you on again. Thank you very much. Oh, so much fun. Yeah, let's do this again a lot. What a pleasure, guys. I think we're coming back every week now. Yeah, that's great. We're lot. What a pleasure, guys. I think we're coming back

every week now. Yeah, that's great. We're just going to start showing up. That's great. I'm here to validate any of your gay terrors or fears. Let me know what's up. I don't know what my gay terrors are. I'd have to invent some. We'll help you discover them. I know what they are.

Thanks a lot, guys. So I wanted to clarify something that I said last week. We were talking last week about a group of people who started a support group that is a secret support group for people who have been sexually assaulted by atheist community leaders. The reason why they created a secret support group is because they are afraid of backlash from the community. So they keep this information private so that they don't receive any backlash from the community because of it. One of the people in this group contacted me. They are going to remain anonymous, but I know who they are. They did not remain anonymous to me, so I know who they are. And so they contacted me and talked to me about this group. And I think it's an important thing for people to understand that something like this exists in our community. We're not above this.

And it's appalling. It's absolutely appalling that something like this would have to exist in our community. Especially a community that calls out constantly the hypocrisy of the Christian and other religious organizations that commit sexual atrocities all the time. It's appalling that our community is following suit. So on this week's show notes, I'm going to put a link to an email. That email will get you in touch. It's an anonymous email that was just created specifically for this. We'll get you in touch with someone in that support group. So if you are someone who has questions about it, or if you were someone who wants to be a part of the support group, you can have access to it on this week's show notes. It's episode 382. I'm not going to mention what the email is here. You can go to our website,

dissonancepod.com, episode 382, and you'll be able to find that email, and you'll be able to correspond with one of the people who's involved in this group. We want to thank our patrons. We want to thank all our patrons, of course. We want to thank our most recent patrons. Yes, Honey Buns, Needs Coffee, Rappella, Bex, Kayla, Jody, Ryan, the unapologetic SJW, Richard Chris, Matt

exotic wine travel Joe, Graham defend University of Florida from Nazis and racists on October 19th it's very specific Jacob and Daniel thanks so much for your generous

donations we really do truly appreciate all the support. It really is touching. Thank you so much. Tom and I, in about a month, are going to be attending Skepticon in Sydney, Australia. We'll be in Sydney.

Tom and I will be in Sydney for three days. We'll be landing on Friday and at the conference on Friday night. They're Saturday all day and they're Sunday all day. We'll be doing a live cognitive dissonance on the Saturday there and we'll be doing a live citation needed

with the GAM guys on that Sunday. But on one of the nights, there just happens to be a dinner on one of those evenings. And Tom and I will both be in attendance. It's on Saturday, November 18th. It's going to be $130 per person. There's a three course meal and there's all drinks,

wine, beer, and soft drinks. So you get a three course meal and a wine, beer, and soft drinks. Somebody's going to have-course meal and a wine, beer, and soft drinks. Somebody's going to have to get rolled out of there. For $130, I can drink $130 worth of beer. They're also going to have a special guest magician by the name of Best Acquaintance, Eli Bosnick.

We're going to have musical entertainment from Ryan Sheehan. And the annual Skeptics Awards will also be announced. Yeah. So if you're going to have musical entertainment from Ryan Sheehan. And the annual Skeptics Awards will also be announced. Yeah. So if you're going to be going to that event to check us out, you might want to consider getting tickets. I know, I'm sure after the dinner's over, Tom and I will be at the bar in that area watching Eli pull coins out of people's ears.

So that should be a lot of fun. But check it out. If you're interested in going to the conference or if you're interested in checking out this dinner, we'll put a link on this week's show notes so you can check it out. We are super excited about those

live shows that we're going to be putting on down there. We're also excited to visit the continent. I cannot wait. I've been looking forward to this trip all year. It's going to be a lot of fun. If you can make it to that conference, absolutely make it to that conference. Come find us. We'll buy you a drink. Yeah, we'll buy you a drink for sure. We got an image

of the horror that is this time of year. We're going to post it on this week's show notes so you can check it out. It's 382. Tim had said when we were talking last week about the Vegas shooting and the crackpot theories,

he said, I agree. You can't just not respond to crackpot assumptions regarding Vegas. The very point is that he was able to do this despite not having any training, right? That's the very point. Having these weapons in the hands of people are. Exactly. We got a message from Matt. I just want to read this. Matt said, all right, I'm about to go on a very vomity fairy ride. This is an hour long and 50% of the people lose their stomach content. My God, where are you?

This is, I'm relying on your podcast to distract me. Report back in Matt. Did we distract you enough? So you didn't throw up. Seasickness is genuinely the worst. I can't imagine being on a ferry where I know it's a 50, 50 shots that you're going to get seasick. That's awful. Take a sea plane. What the fuck?

Next week, I'm not going to tell you who the guest is. We are super excited and we hope that this guest goes through. It would be, it's a dream guest for both Tom and I to have on this show. We're hoping that the dream guest were able to solidify all this and have the dream guest on next week, but you're going to want to check out next week's show. We're hoping that it's going to be a really good show. And we get our dream guest on. So it should be incredible.

It will be very excited. It's a teaser. We know we're teasing you. We don't want to make you hard. You can go to adamandeve.com at At adamandeve.com, enter Gloria at checkout. You can relieve that hard, tight feeling for 50% off. Relieve it on your sex swing, your free sex swing. We are excited about it, but we also want to not mention it too,

just because if it doesn't go through, it's one of those things that, you know, it just didn't go through and we got everybody's hopes up for nothing. So we're hoping that it goes through. We also want to thank Dan and Mark. Great guests. The How To Heretic podcast. What an excellent pair of guys. Really funny, just really funny.

And I'm sure their podcast is going to be great. I'm going to put it on my phone so I can listen to it because it sounds like a lot of fun, even for somebody who doesn't believe and hasn't believed for a very long time. So check it out. It'll be on this week's show notes 382. So that's going to wrap it up for this

week. We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble Pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized

Stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing Water downward spiral, brain deadpan Sales pitch, late night info-docutainment Leo Pisces, cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cars psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot yeti aliens churches mosques and synagogues temples dragons giant worms atlantis dolphins truthers birthers witches wizards vaccine nuts shaman healers evangelistsists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. the opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only all opinions are solely that of glory hole studios llc cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy completeness current, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you.