Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 386: The Road Less Traveled

Episode Date: November 13, 2017

 Stories covered in episode:  Extra Content: 

This show is brought to you by AdamandEve.com. If you go to AdamandEve.com right now and enter GLORY, the code word GLORY, G-L-O-R-Y, at checkout, you'll get 50% off almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and coffee mugs i didn't do anything i was so close i didn't do anything. I was so close. I didn't do anything with it. Silently put that mug down like a fucking ninja.

It's like I was on David Smalley's show or something. It's like I'm on David Smalley's show. And irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And we're in Australia right now. Well, no, actually this show is going to drop before we leave.

So this show will drop on Monday. I am mentally already gone. The next show we record in about an hour will drop when we're in Australia. But yeah, this one is actually from this week. Well, that's great because if you're one of our Australian listeners and you are thinking if there's still tickets about

going to Skepticon, you should go. You should go to Skepticon. We will be there the whole damn time. And we're going to be at the get-together the night before on Friday. We'll be there. We're going to be closing out the first day on the main stage doing a

Cogdiss live, which is super exciting. Then we're going to be at the dinner where Eli Bosnick is going to entertain people by pulling cards out of his asshole. And then, and then the next morning, next morning, he like pulls a whole entire orange out of his ass.

Was this your card? But anyway, the, anyway, the next morning, we're going to be on the other stage doing Citation Needed. We are. Very exciting. So first ever live show Citation Needed. So we're going to have a very busy couple weeks.

After that, Tom and I are going to split ways. He and Haley are going to head off. Tom and I are going to split ways. He and Haley are going to head off. Sarah and I are going to head off. Tom's going to do his thing. I'm going to go visit New Zealand for a week. And then I'm going to come back to Australia. And so we're looking forward to a nice long trip away. We'll be returning the day of David Smalley's podcast-a-thon.

And it is a podcast-a-thon this time. And the charity this time, Modest Needs. What a great charity Modest Needs is. It's just so, you know, we raised money for Modest Needs through Vulgarity for charity last year. And we had Keith on. You remember? Yeah. Remember we had Keith on?

Yeah, absolutely. He's the guy who started Modest Needs. And I mean, like, I have been moved very few times as profoundly, seriously, as profoundly as listening to his story. It's an incredible organization. He's an amazing, the guy is an amazing human being. Absolutely. If the world were full of that guy, we'd have a lot less fucking problems. Absolutely.

And I know, I'm just headed off like right here. Like, I know there are some people who are uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. David Smalley, that's fine. That's your prerogative. That's your deal. But modest needs is not something to be uncomfortable. Absolutely. I will give time and attention all the time to modest needs. It's just an amazing organization. For sure. So we're probably going to be matching money. We're not sure how much it's going to be, but we're probably going to be matching money during our hour at this point, 10 AM Chicago time on the third. So it's the Sunday, the third 10 AM. Uh, it should be a good time. Uh, we love to make David Smalley sweat, so it should be fun. Uh, the whole time he's going to have his hand over the seven second button to bounce us out of

there. I think, I mean, it's great to have that little man get even greasier. Absolutely. You wouldn't think he could. Yeah. But we're going to be matching some funds. So if you have an opportunity to donate during our hour and you want to donate to Modest Needs, which is a very worthy charity,

that would be a great time to donate during that hour. Like we said, we'll be matching funds during that hour. So you're going we'll be matching funds during that hour. So you're going to want to tune in during that hour and then also donate so that you can basically double your money that hour. Abortions for all. Very well.

No abortions for anyone. Abortions for some. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. So this story is from Right Wing Watch. House subcommittee holds hearing on near total abortion ban, citing changing courts under Trump. You know, this is pretty much what it sounds like. This is the Heartbeat Protection Act. And we talked about the Heartbeat Protection Act previously. You know, what strikes me here is that they're already setting the play.

Yeah. Right. We're seeing this more and more. They're already setting the play to overturn Roe v. Wade. Right. So what they need is they need to introduce legislation that will ultimately be challenged, move up to the courts, have the courts make a new decision, right? For them, this is their Brown versus Board moment, right? So Brown versus Board is the

decision that basically reversed Plessy versus Ferguson. And they're waiting for their decision, which will ultimately reverse Roe versus Wade. And they're setting the stage by introducing legislation that they know right now won't make it. He even says at one point, he's like, we know by the constitution. I'm thinking right now it's in constitution. Right now, it's not. According to the court's interpretation. Yeah, this will absolutely get struck down.

They're just counting. Can you imagine being like Ginsburg? You're like, you're looking at like you pass legislation counting on me dying. Somebody knocks on our door and just taps on the watch, right? Come on lady, let's get on with it. You're just like, I'm here. Well, it's not just her there. We looked at that at the, at the court. A lot of these people are really old. Um, there's a few younger people in their fifties and sixties, but a lot of them are Obama appointees. And so the ones that are starting to die,

I mean, there's, you know, Ginsburg, of course, is the oldest person on the court, but I think- And in the world, incidentally. I know. She's actually Hitler from last week. She's sold! She's sold.

She's sold! Born in the 1890s or whatever the fuck it was. But it is exactly as you say. They're basically saying, look, what we're going to do is we're going to pass this legislation. It'll bounce around throughout this stuff. It'll have to work its way up the courts.

And we expect by the time it gets to you that we have already, and this is that corn goblin who's talking. Right, Steve King. He had said, we expect to replace two of them by then yeah and the court if it replaces two let me remind people right now it's it's right now it's it's it's not six three it's five four oh no it would be a six three yeah it'd be a seven it'd be a seven two

because it's five four now it's five four it's five four conservative if they replace two kind of a swing if they replace two let's It's five, four conservative. If they replace kind of a swing, if they replace two, let's say they replace two in the sense that they replace like two Democrats or two Democrats, like left-leaning people. Can I ask you a quick question? If it's five, four conservative now, why wouldn't they feel comfortable bringing it to the court now? I think that people, I think that right now, like you said, there's a swing, there's a switch hitter who may vote on their, not vote on their side. But if they replace Ginsburg and then another left-leaning judge, then you're fucked.

That's it. Then you're fucked. If that happens, the court is fucked for years. A generation. At least a generation. There's a generation of decisions which are going to just... I mean, they're going to fuck us over so hard. He's talking about abortion on demand. And it reminds me of like, text abort to 555.

You know, I got to say though, like abortion on demand is better than an abortion where you have to sit through all the commercials. It's true. You know, Comcast, it's on the Comcast menu now. It's all condom commercials. You're yeah now i watch this commercial you hold up the comcast remote and i don't know if yours has this but my comcast remote now you press down a button and you could talk into it so you're just like i would like an abortion it's like siri you know so yeah abortion on demand and they also in this there's a tweet which i fucking love oh my god this is there's a tweet they brought a sonogram in and set it on the chair. And it said,

and this is from a person by the name, by the name of Renee Bracey Sherman, who said, wow, the GOP save a seat for a sonogram in this hearing, but not for those of us who have abortions and need healthcare. God damn. That's so true.

Yeah. They brought a fucking sonogram. And you had said, remember when they did the, the, the stunt with all the shoes? The baby shoes. Like everybody brought baby shoes, a bunch of them. These baby shoes

represent a dead baby or whatever. It's like, well, not so much, actually. Why don't they just put like Petri dish slides down? It would be amazing if they were true to life, right? Yeah, I brought in 50 million baby shoes. Oh, okay. Were they all sized appropriately to the microscopic fetus that was...

Because you could fit them in a fucking small backpack. Like little nano shoes. Oh, you know what? It needs feet in order to have shoes. You can't even measure because it hasn't developed feet yet. This fucking ban, though, when they're talking about the heartbeat, Tom, three to five weeks. Yeah. That's just a ban on abortion.

It's a ban on abortion. That's just a ban on abortion. Because you're not going to find out three weeks in, you're not going to find out you're pregnant. Three to five. I mean, when I looked it up, I was like, holy shit, three to five weeks? Yeah.

It's ridiculous. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. And this is, all this is, is just, I mean, we've talked about it many times, but this really is just them shaming women for their own sexuality. You know, and see, so that, that concept, you know, really, it really brings up this, this other article.

This is from The Intercept. House GOP simultaneously pushes for the new abortion ban we just talked about and an end to the adoption tax credit. Yeah. And, and you can tell right there that this has nothing to do with the wellbeing of human beings, right? Because really like baby is just a subset of human. Yeah. And you can tell right there that this has nothing to do with the well-being of human beings, right? Because really, baby is just a subset of human. Sure. If you give a shit about the well-being of other people, the adoption tax credit says, fuck those kids. Yeah. Fuck them. That's exactly what it says. It says, fuck them. We don't care. We need them to be born because we

want to shame women for their sexuality, right? So let's make sure that women face the consequences, so to speak, and that's in quotes, the consequences of their sexual behaviors, right? As if they're the only ones who are engaging in this sexual behavior, right? But don't make it easy for the kids to find a family later. There's nothing to it.

And don't make it easy for the families to find kids that they can raise later. It has nothing to do with that because if you're taking away those credits and these credits are substantial, man. These are not like, this is not just, okay, I saved a couple dollars on my taxes.

This is thousands of dollars you can write off every year. Because the cost of adopting is massive. It's incredible. It's outrageous the amount of money you have to pay to adopt. Which is crazy to me because I would pay the same

to get rid of my kids. And the corporations, what's crazy is businesses will sometimes subsidize this. Yeah. And now you're going to be taxed if they subsidize it. That's crazy. Not only would they subsidize it, they'd be like, yeah, we're going to try to make sure just like they would pay for somebody. Because they're going to have to pay with your, you know, when you're with your health insurance, where they pay for your health insurance. So they're already paying for you to have a kid

technically, right. They're already helping you have a child. But in this case, they're just like, yeah, we want to make sure that you have an opportunity. If you can't have children or you don't want to have children for any reason, but you want to have, you want to adopt great. We're going to facilitate this for you. We're going to give you a credit on you. You know, we'll make sure that this is credited to you. And now you'd have to pay taxes if it was income, which is the whole, the whole thing is just so obviously not about kids.

They don't give a fuck about kids. They don't care. You know, the, the, the GOP consistently takes away, takes money away from education, takes money away from school lunch programs,

takes money away from afterschool programs, takes money away from education. It takes money away from school lunch programs. It takes money away from after school programs. It takes money away from preschool programs. It takes money away from the adoption program. It is constantly like, it couldn't care less about kids. I care more about kids and I don't like even my own kids. I'm surprised what they don't subscribe to is trickle down parenting. don't subscribe to is trickle down parenting. The policies that they have all take away from all the stuff that,

that is, that helps make a society better, right? That helps grow children into better, more, more conscientious adults, more, just better citizens. It grows better citizens and they cut those programs all the time so they can

give themselves more money. And it happens all the time. And I always wonder, I was looking like, why does this happen? Why in the earth would you as a person in the South or wherever, you know, where you're voting Republican and you're poor or you're lower middle class, why would you vote Republican? And the other day I was at a seminar. I was a person talking and they were talking about social justice issues and whatnot. And the one profound thing that the person said was that the Republican Party, the rich white Republican Party made a pact years ago with the poor white people of this country. They said to him, you know, you can't ever get into our schools. you know, you can't ever get into our schools. You won't ever get our jobs. You can't ever move into our neighborhoods, but every morning you can wake up and women and black people will be

underneath you every single day. And, and the problem is, is that that is starting to change the programs that have been put in over years that have helped those two minorities. I'm speaking of women as a minority, but you know what I mean. They're a power minority, right? Not a numerical. Those two minorities have been gaining power throughout the last several years. And look at the backlash that that has caused just in the last few years. Look at how people are reacting to it. Because they've the backlash that that has caused just in the last few years. Look at how

people are reacting to it because they've always had that pact. They've always had that tacit agreement amongst each other that, yeah, you're never going to be like us, but you'll at least be able to push somebody around. We can solve a rather large amount of issues in terms of giving women real choices and bringing them into the workforce, closing that wage gap in bigger numbers just by child care subsidies. The cost of child care is so punishingly exorbitant that it pushes a tremendous number of women out of the workforce and keeps them out of the workforce for a really long period of time. And the long as the longer you're out of the workforce, the less money you make when you come back into it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, right? It creates single income households

instead of double income households just don't accelerate at the same rate in terms of saving for retirement. They don't pump as much money back into the economy. We know it's a worse decision, right? We know there's a hundred reasons why it's a bad decision. The whole reason we don't do it is because we're afraid of women, right? This has nothing to do with children. Again, this has everything to do with making sure that women stay at home. This is the way to make sure that women stay at home, have a cost of childcare, the burden of which still falls grossly upon women, have a cost of childcare that is going to eat up

the entirety or the vast majority of the money that you're going to make, of childcare that is going to eat up the entirety or the vast majority of the money that you're going to make. And you're just going to stay home. And you're going to be pushed out of the workforce. You're going to be pushed out of professional development fields. You're totally fucked. And that reduces the opportunity for women in social circumstances across the board in terms of what they feel like their options are. They talk about life and other planets. In my opinion, there's nothing but gaseous balls. So this shit's fucking crazy. This is Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson's weighing in on the Mueller investigation. Well, that's weird. He's got some advice for Trump.

Oh, okay. Let's listen to what he has to say. This is, this is one day he'll be a real boy, Pat Robertson. Manafort is an easy target if I can use that term. He has clearly been an agent of foreign governments. They have paid him

huge amounts of money. That's bad. He shouldn't do that. Or if he's allowed to do that, he just shouldn't be part of the presidential campaign. Well, right. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Like all the stuff that he did is fine as long as he's not trying to influence the president. And the chances are he hasn't appropriately registered as an agent. And so there's a technical violation that they could get. Technical violation. Technical violation. We call conspiracy against the United States.

He makes it sound like he didn't like, oh, it's because he didn't fill out the paperwork. You know, it's like, that's some fucking nonsense. That's bullshit. It's not a technicality. The guy did not get caught on a fucking technicality. The guy didn't park on the wrong street because the sign was knocked down. Right. This is not his fucking TPS reports didn't get filed right are you kidding me and that may be what they're going after then

at one of his aides but as far as the white house not a chance how do you know not yet the fuck do you know i agree with him not yet but i mean he isn't not a chance yeah not a chance right now yeah i mean not a chance meaning it's impossible that it's going to happen, that there's no chance. I don't buy that. We'll see. I think there's a chance. Absolutely. Maybe it does.

Maybe it doesn't. But this is not a like, well, I know there's a lot of smoke, but there's no fire. Fuck you. Yeah. And there's, again, an op-ed today in the newspaper about what the president's power is. He can grant a pardon to everybody involved in this thing. He sure could. Boy, could he ever. Wouldn't that look like something? Boy, could he ever.

Wow. Wow. It would just send an atrocious message. And to be fair, he has no, there's no incentive for him to do that. Here's what Pat Robertson is missing, right? Let's say he doesn't. That doesn't mean that Mueller doesn't, that he just stops investigating, right? It doesn't mean that this information doesn't become public. It doesn't mean anything except for that they don't go to jail for it, right? If what Trump is really afraid of is an impeachment, remember that impeachment is not a criminal offense, right? It's removing this guy from office. So if he gets impeached, he could pardon everybody and still get impeached. There's no sense in this. It doesn't stop

everything. The other thing that I think about too is, so Tuesday was a big night for Democrats. The Virginia governorship came out. Crazy. A lot of people thought it was a very neck and neck race. Everybody's gun shy after Nate Silver. Everybody's gun shy.

Right. And they thought it was going to be a real close race and it was not. Nine points. Nine points. The Democrat won.

And then they flipped the House, which they did not think was going to happen there. That's the House there. Not the House to the representatives in the United States government, but the House of Delegates in Virginia was flipped that night. Something like 12

different seats went Republican. In Virginia. First trans woman ever. Open trans, not open trans woman, because I think there is a trans woman, but first elected trans woman. Because the person who before, I think, transitioned after they were elected or something like that. Because I saw there was a correction on it. So it's not the

first open to run, but it's the first one to that was that that's something, you know, there's some, there's some designation, but a trans woman elected to government, a woman first time ever, uh, this, this, uh, this black woman ran and she ran up against the guy who decimated their opponent the previous time, just fucking detonated them by 30 or some points. It was ridiculous. And this woman ran. Won. Won. Won. And it was because of a thing that was started that's called Run for Something. And it's an, it's a, uh, an organization that started up right after the, or right after the last election that wanted to encourage lots of local people to run after the last and a bunch of local people were just like, I've never run.

Oh, sure. I'll run. And they ran and they got elected a lot of these. And these, a lot of these people are first timers. They've never been elected to office before, and they're going to be in the Virginia House.

And there was a couple of other big things that happened that night, you know, big races. And these are all, this is kind of a fuck you to Trump because Trump had just endorsed this candidate in Virginia. He had just said, go vote for this guy. He's following my lead, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then after he loses, Trump comes out and says, he never really

embraced me. He was never really part of me. He always, he's done that so many times, separates himself from these people. So I feel like this is getting back to what we're talking about with Mueller. I feel like this is what's going to happen with Manafort is that he's already started to separate himself from Manafort. He's called him a low level guy. He's not that big a deal. Same thing with the Papadopoulos low level guy. Even though at a national security briefing before he was president, Papadopoulos and Manafort are both at the table and Gates. They're all at the same table with him. And you're just like, they're all low level. And you're like, yeah, but that was a national security thing. Why do you have low-level guys at your national security thing? So you know what I

mean? Like, so he's already separating himself from these guys too. I don't see him like pardoning them like he suggests, but I feel like if he does do that, that is just fire on 2020. It's just fire, fire until 2020. People would be so upset. They would just be waiting for the moment they could vote him out. Plus Trump doesn't care what happens to these guys. Why would he pardon them? Pardoning, what does pardoning do? It upsets everybody. Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck if these guys go to jail.

What the fuck does he care? Why? What possible incentive would he have to pardon people? Yeah. And he's going to deny everything they say anyway if they cooperate.

Right. So it doesn't matter. The investigation continues and he's like, it'd be like, like if you were president and we were corrupt together, you might pardon me, right?

Right. You might be like, yeah, Tom's my buddy. Like I care what happens to him. Yeah. So you're going to pardon me, right? But if you were president and we were corrupt together, you might pardon me, right? You might be like, yeah, Tom's my buddy. Like I care what happens to him. So you're going to pardon me, right? But if you're Trump, you're like, I don't care what happens to other people. Yeah. Like the punishment could be, he could be burned to death. And Trump would be like, burn him.

Burn him. He's a low level candle. Shoot him out of a catapult. Don't give a fuck. Trebuchet his face. Never met him. If he wants to, and there's no such thing

as the president obstructing justice, if he, yes, there is. He can totally obstruct justice. I just want to say one word. Nixon. Yes, the president can obstruct justice. Totes can obstruct justice. That's what they got him on.

Talks to one of his people in the Justice Department. They're part of the administration's force. That's his side of the aisle under the Constitution. He doesn't have a side of the aisle. I just want to say the aisle is what separates the Republicans and Democrats. It doesn't separate the president from the Justice Department or whatever. Or like the legislative branch. Right?

So weird. This whole thing has got to be shut down and I think... Because they're going to find out stuff. I don't want to have to know. They call the fruit of the poisonous tree. We had that in law school. You learned that. He had that in law school because he went to law

school in the Garden of Eden. Eve gave you that. It was a long time ago. You're so old. You can just see how his face is starting. This guy's face, I might have said this before, he looks like the thing on Raiders of the Lost Ark

when he's like, it's so beautiful. He's like, that's your face. He's like, back in my day, we only had one law and it was don't eat the apple. Actually, that was the one law. Don't eat the poison trees. The source is tainted and everything that comes out of that source is tainted. Nothing comes out of the taint. Things come from the top, the top Nothing comes out of the taint. Things come from the top

to the bottom. The taint itself. You can get some residual flavor saving going on down there. It's true. From different areas, right? So like you can get a little nutsack in there. You can get a little yesterday's chili in there. But it doesn't have a flavor

of its own. If the taint is leaking, you've got an anal fissure. The taint, if the taint is leaking, you've got an anal fissure. The taint is a substrate for flavor. It's like mashed potatoes. You know what I mean? Like mashed potatoes are just a vehicle to get salt and butter into your mouth. The taint is just a vehicle

to get pubic hair in your mouth. It's like a Bob Ross palette down there. It's just taint. The whole time they're down there. You're just like, what are you doing? That's the least pleasurable thing I could imagine you doing. It's like,

why are you being indecisive? Like Robert Frost has reached a fork in the road. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, good fences make good neighbors. I know choosing the right path is going to make all the fucking difference. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, good fences make good neighbors. Here's the thing.

Choosing the right path is going to make all the fucking difference. That Fusion GPS dossier is tainted. And the source of the money coming from the Democratic Party makes it tainted. It doesn't matter if it's true. Like, if it comes out to be true, if the, if he gets convicted, then it's, then it's fucking dead. It doesn't matter where the funding for that came from.

If it was trumped up charges, like we talked about last time, right. And we talked about like, if they were just like turning a parking ticket into conspiracy against the United States, we'd have a problem with that. There's a huge problem with the Democrats paying for that and it turning

into that. But if they don't, and it's just, yeah, uh, we found out a problem with that. There's a huge problem with the Democrats paying for that and it turning into that. Yeah. But if they don't, and it's just, yeah, we found out a bunch of stuff, even if, and I don't even know if the Democrats funded this.

I thought maybe they said that there was something to do with that. Yeah, I don't know either. But I don't, I mean, even if it did, it doesn't matter. Do we really think that

Mueller doesn't know whether or not this actually constitutes tainted evidence? Right. Really? Yeah. Because it fucking just doesn't. Yeah. And fucking drippy wax-faced McGee here

doesn't have anything interesting to say about it. He's just hoping he can say it before all the skin sloughs off the top of his head. Or before they shoot Mueller or shoot Manafort into jail. It isn't a clear independent dossier.

And this means that- Yeah, that was the whole investigation. Then that would be a problem. But if it's a starting point, it's not a problem. And then they went to like- The fuck? Found out all this bank shit and-

Right. They got this guy six ways from Sunday. And that indictment, like General Flynn, that it came out of that source is tainted. And they've got to quash any indictments or any interrogatories. Why do you think he's, I mean, cause he, I think all of them though,

look at what happened last week with fucking Baker and a couple of weeks ago with all the other ones. They all don't think that they think it's impossible that Trump is dirty. They think it's impossible that anybody connected with Trump is dirty. They think that it's all made up. There was a guy on Twitter for a while that was tweeting at us constantly when we were talking about the Russia investigation. And he was like, I can't believe you guys fell for that Russia investigation. Well, the guy stopped following us on Twitter. I was going to tweet him and be like, how about that Russia investigation?

How about those fake news Russia investigation? What about that? But I can't find him now because he doesn't fucking, he doesn't say anything to us. You know, but like this is a pastor, right? Yeah. And I know he's bullshit, right? Don't get me wrong. I know he's bullshit, but he's supposed to be a guy who cares about what's true. No,

he didn't. But he's supposed to be. No, no, no, no. You don't think his flock sees him that way? I think his flock sees him as the person who interprets the world through God. That doesn't necessarily mean that's truth. It just means that, because these people also believe in a devil. And so they're going to think

that this investigation is started by the devil, continued by the devil. You know what I mean? Like they're going to have, this investigation is started by the devil, continued by the devil. You know what I mean? Like they're going to have, they have a good and evil worldview. This is, this is, this is evil in the world. I don't think you're wrong, but it's like, holy shit, man. Well, holy shit. They've demonized everybody that's been against them.

Look at how, for how many years they demonized Obama. So if you're against them, if you're against what, because what they want, what they want is they want, they want free taxes for church. They want to be able to talk about whatever they want, which they can now we're talking about later. And they, they want to make sure that, you know, there's no more abortion and that, that gay people are, are thrown out in the, in the garbage and that women are, are put in their place. And if they can, if there's a politician that can make those things happen and that, and that we don't like Brown people and those things,

if those things happen under a politician, that's their guy. And so whatever that guy says, he's the good and whatever's against him is the bad. And we're going to fucking every single time. It doesn't matter. It's good versus evil. And so that's why Trump is fucking an angelic persona to them.

I, you know, you're clearly right about this, right? It's just so easy to forget that people believe in demons, man. Well, sure. Like, it didn't even occur to me until you said it. Because I'm listening and it's like, he's got an ostrich. Like, he's saying, everybody, be an ostrich, right? Because the facts are there that say that this is something that we need to pay attention.

I mean, he's not, like, Manafort's not guilty, right? He's been accused ofich, right? Because the facts are there that say that this is something that we need to pay attention. I mean, he's not, like, Manafort's not guilty, right? He's been accused of things, right? So he still has to go to trial. He still has to do all this stuff. But it doesn't look good when you get accused of 12 things, right? 12 things is a lot of things. It's a lot of things. Chances are one of those things will stick, right?

Like with an investigation with stakes this high, you know they're not just like, I probably think maybe. No, they've got some shit on their stick, right? Like with an investigation with stakes this high, you know, they're not just like, I probably think maybe, no, they've got some shit. This is not like a pimple face DA's first case. You know what I mean? I brought these cases. I just graduated from upstairs law school. Yeah. No, these people are ready. And

when they brought those things, you knew that they had every piece of evidence that they possibly could need. This is such a high stakes thing. There's no way that they would put these indictments out there without it. So, I mean, we're saying they aren't guilty, but they still have to go to trial. And they do. But, you know, it doesn't look good. Yeah.

Result from that. And so most of that stuff's going to get shut down. And I just believe the president has got to shut this thing down. It's a distraction. He is chief executive officer of the United States of America. No, he's not. He's not CEO of America. Yeah.

He's commander in chief of the military. Yeah. But he is not CEO of America. I love that. That's the thing. The fuck is wrong with you? First of all, he's chief executive officer, not chief executive office. Yeah.

He's not an office. You can't open the door and step in him, although he is rotund. He's big enough. He is oval-shaped. If you put a door on him, someone could enter. That is very true. He probably houses a colony of Keebler elves somewhere inside of him.

In that frosting somewhere. He's got to do the nation's business. We are faced with crucial things around the world. We were faced with crucial shit around the world when Obama was in there, but you were never singing his praises. You were never saying, leave that guy alone.

We're just always faced with crucial things. It turns out, crucial things. A country is always, there's always a problem. There's always something that has to be fixed somewhere. I don't know. Maybe if you're like the world's largest economic and military superpower.

Yeah. There's lots of crucial things to do. We have several areas of conflict that he's got to deal with. Why do we have those areas of conflict? I know, right? We have all these areas of conflict we don't need to continue to have. Maybe we could try to not have many. Maybe we could try not to exacerbate North Korea, please.

We're about to go within missile range, by the way. Do you know the other night I was watching his speech from South Korea? And during that speech, he wound up mentioning his golf course once. So he mentions his golf courses like where they spent the last U.S my God. So he mentions his golf courses, like where they spent the last us open, a South Korean golfer played at Trump, blah, blah, Plaza,

whatever his goat fucking go, whatever his golf course, golf course name is. And he's talking about the us opening and played there. And then he also said, he's like, Melania and I have spent many, many days around South Korea,

looking at your ancient modern wonders. I heard about that. And it should have been ancient and modern, I think he should have said, but he missed the and. So he just said ancient modern, like it's a type of style. Yeah, right. Oh, that's ancient modern. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful. I love this couch.

It's ancient modern. What is it? It's like a clip and made of stone. Right. Oh, it's a Corinthian column made a stone. Right. Oh, it's a Corinthian column made out of carbon nanotubes. And we have a huge matters

at home that have got to get our nation moving. We cannot have this destruction. And I think he has, is every right to shut Mueller down and say, you've gone as far as you need to. Now go over by Colby by the other people I fired.

God damn, listen to this guy. Every right to shut Mueller down and say, you've gone as far as you need to. And then I had to... Good Lord, he just sees this up He's got like

The only way he can continue living Is if he lubricates his throat like that He's actually lubricating his heart For one more beat He can actually force him Spit him back down into his fucking Myocardial sac I instructed my justice

department to close you down. He can do it. And he also, you know, the article today of a couple of lawyers was saying he can grant a blanket pardon for everybody involved in everything. Nobody should be involved. That's the

whole problem. Hey, Cecil, are you involved? No. No. So you can't pardon you because you're not one of the people involved. I'm not one of those people. Who are the people involved? The criminals?

Those are the ones we're trying to find out what the involvement is. We should investigate that. We're coming up on Christmas time, Tom, Adam, and Eve. They have your jingle balls. They're ready to go. They also have a sex swing. That's good because I have... That you can put in the sleigh.

I have antler-shaped dildos at home. I have antler-shaped balls. That's weird. You need a doctor. That's not... I don't feel like... I got a tag and an MD here. Oh, jeez.

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You'll get a free sex swing, free shipping, and 50% off almost any item. All right. This is Right Wing Watch. Louie Garmer says six-week abortion ban, it's no problem for rape survivors. The time is there, he says. All right, so this is Louie Gormer. This is not an issue of life of the mother

because the doctors are always charged with preserving life. And whatever life has the best chance of living, you do everything you can to preserve it. But in the case of this, it would be the life of the mother or something that's not a human being. Right.

Yeah, it's a totally disingenuous thing to say. It's basically like he's dismissing that argument by saying, well, what if the baby is totally going to live too? And it's like, well, maybe, but... One's alive, has a social security number, pays taxes, has a job,

does stuff, lived several years, expects to live several other years. The other one isn't a person yet. Whether it's the mother or the child. So that's really not an issue. Some brought up the issue of rape and incest. Well, we don't even have to get into that argument regardless about how anyone feels, because the heartbeat bill says when the heartbeat is detected, in essence, then the life must be protected.

So there are six to eight weeks, we're told, before the heartbeat is detected. So even if you were a proponent of abortion after rape or incest, it still is not preventing that. Yeah, fucking, it absolutely is not preventing that. Yeah, fucking, it absolutely is. It absolutely, 100%, it is absolutely a massive problem. Does he not know how bodies work and how human beings operate? Does he not have any sense

of how people respond to things emotionally? Does he not have any idea how people, people at all? Does he not have any idea how people, people at all? Does he not know? What is so surprising to me is that these people will say these things like, it's not a big deal. It's six to eight weeks.

What if you're, what if this is your dad that's raping you and it's incest, right? That's what I mean about how people work emotionally. It's your dad who's raping you and it's incest, right? That's what I mean about how people work emotionally. It's your dad who's raping you and you can't get to a place like that because let's say you're underage

or let's say any of those things that you can't get to a place like that until six to eight weeks later. What are you going to be like? Well, sorry, it's got a heartbeat now. Sorry. I'm sorry your dad raped you. Now you're going to have to have this baby

that you're going to have to keep the term. You're going to have to... When you know that they're not going to, the term. You're going to have to, when you know that they're not gonna, you know what they're going to do? They're going to go figure it out on their own. They're going to go home and they're going to have, you know, they're going to either go pay somebody to jam a coat hanger up there, or they're going to fall down the stairs, or they're going to take a bunch of stuff to try to get rid of it. They're going to find a way to get rid of it. And whenever we outlaw abortion, whenever we make sure that abortion isn't legal, whenever we make sure that abortion only has a certain small window, the women that can't fit themselves into that picture always will try to go and find abortion in back alleys and in dangerous ways.

And they will hurt themselves to try to stop to make sure that they can continue living. Because who would want to live? I mean, I couldn't imagine having a child and being forced to have that child if you were raped

or the victim of incest. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. It is the cruelest thing you can do to somebody to force them to come. Because you don't even have to take care of it, right? Like, let's say you put it up for adoption.

It makes no difference. Doesn't matter. To birth that child. Doesn't matter. Makes no difference at all. It's a horror show. And again, like, you know, like, and there are good regular examples too. But like, you know, like, what about people that are raping kids that don't know that they're sexually or that they're biologically even capable, right? People who live in parts of this country that don't have sex

education and don't know, you know, that they, because they missed a period that maybe they're pregnant. This shit happens. People don't know they're pregnant all the time. Regular people don't know they're pregnant all the time. Six weeks is really fucking early to find out that you're pregnant. For a lot of people. Not every woman has a regular period, right? Some women spot from time to time and occasionally mistake that for a period. There's a fucking hundred

reasons why this is a horrible idea and why so many people could fall under a rubric where they've been raped, where they were incest was involved or whatever. And they don't know until that six, eight week mark. It could happen very,

very easily. It's a stupid thing. It's a thing to say that only is like, I don't know how women's work. It's, it's the only person that could ever say that is an old white guy. Yeah. Who's just like,

yeah, I don't know how it all works down there. You got a hole? Is that a hole down there? Can I yell at her? Yo! Like, this guy is, he's just a hillbilly. Yeah, right. This is a guy who seems to be kind of

saying like, well, you had six weeks. Yeah. You had plenty of time. It's not like you fucking put the fucking batter in there and then you're like, you pregnant yeah like what oh okay are you is it are you i'm done are you pregnant really you think that yeah it's like a light bulb goes off on her nose like the operation game her belly doesn't turn blue or pink you know what i mean or there's like a big plus or a minus on her stomach. Both of her nipples change to like... Spells out the kid's name

or whatever. Like, how do you think people work? That's so funny. How do you think people work? I'm not going to get into a debate on that because it doesn't apply on this. Because I'll lose. Because I don't know the first fucking thing about women.

Just ask my wife. The time is there. So that makes it clear even for those who say I can't support any pro-life bill

that doesn't make an exception for rape or incest where you can still support this bill. I gotta say what a fucking

couple of knuckleheads. Comer and Steve King standing right next to him. You just want to clunk their heads together. You just want to look at them. You're like, oh, my gosh, you guys are like, if I banged your heads together, would one cogent thought come out? Would there be one cogent thought? Dust. We just spread out.

It's almost like they turn to each other after they say. Like, you want to go get a cup of coffee and misunderstand things together? Do you want to go try to figure out how to open this sugar? Let's go. We'll furrow our brows desperately in an attempt to understand the situation. Now, as far as God's concerned,

he knows the end from the beginning, and he sees a little baby. And that little baby could grow up to be Adolf Hitler. He could grow up to be Joseph Stalin. He could grow up to be some serial killer or he could go up to die of a hideous disease. God sees all that. And for that life to be terminated while he's a baby, he's going to be with God forever in heaven. This is from the Friendly Atheist. This is also Pat Robertson. He took a break from being on the show. I was glad to have him on twice this week.

A couple times in a row. Pat Robertson, God let a 15-year-old die to stop him from becoming an atheist. This is Pat from his show. Okay. This is Christina, who says, my 15-year-old son was killed January 26, 2017.

My question for you is, why does our father allow us to go through this pain and torment? As a mom, I do everything in my power to protect my kids from this. What is the point? I'm confused and angry. Please help me understand. I've been faithful to the Lord alone. So why? Except for that one time in college. But, you know, we had an agreement.

I was like, I went, I experimented a little bit with other gods. The guy said that God wouldn't see it if it was under the covers. Look, Shiva's a girl and it doesn't count the same way. You know, it's like, for some reason, everybody's a little more okay with that. It is. It looks upon your faithfulness. I was reading today about Peter. And Jesus said to Peter, Peter.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. When you were young. Did he pick a pack of pickled peppers? Dress yourself and go where you want to. When you get old, others are going to dress you and take you where you don't want to go. Yeah, to the nursing home. It's fine as long as they dress me. That's going to suck. I just want to go. Yeah, to the nursing home. Right? It's fine as long as they dress me. That's going to suck.

I just want to say, I want to wear ruse and a leisure suit everywhere when I'm old. And other people dress me, I'm going to have a very specific style. I'm going to be super angry if I don't get my pudding every day. Like, I want my pudding every fucking day.

Oh my God. I want it in a piping bag though, so I can just... What an idea. For death, he was going to act as a martyr. These things happen. We live in a world of wickedness. And God does not necessarily...

How comforting would that be if you lost your son or your daughter? These things happen. Oh, that's real comforting. These things happen. Suck it up, buttercup. That's the thing you love most in the world. That's the problem with religion, right? It's because you get these promises.

There's all these promises. Promise that you live your life right, that good things will happen to you, that God's watching over you, and that as you live your life in the way that you think you should be dedicating it to the Lord, you should be protected.

You're not. And you're not. You are vulnerable to the exact same things as every other person out there because God isn't going to protect you because there's no God. So now you wind up with this moment in your life

where your 15 year old son dies. And then you say, well, what the fuck? I was doing everything right. I've been fucking dedicating my whole life. I've been tithing 10% every week. I've been going to church, sitting on a fucking uncomfortable pew for my whole life. And now what? And by 15, you're probably attached to that one. You were probably going to keep it. It depends. It depends on if you let it inside to that one. You were probably going to keep it. It depends on if you let it inside. If it was an inside kit or an outside kit. By 15, they could do real chores, though.

The best part is if it's an outside kit, you could just push the mower out there and they'll take care of it. If you want them to stay, you do have to build a little housey thing. Sure, yeah. A kitty door in the back so that they can come in and out. It's funny because they preach

that like message of protection on a macro level. You know, like, God will protect this United States. So, you know, they preach it on a macro level. But it's not individual. And then on an individual level,

they have to constantly make that concession. Yeah, there's always those concessions, which is, yeah, and he's going to now explain why that kid should have died. Clearly spare us from these things. He will teach us once we're in the difficult situation,

he will help us to overcome it. But not necessarily. Could overcome it real easy by not being in it. I'm just saying the best way to overcome that thing. It's like, what's the best way to win a knife fight? Don't be in a knife fight. Like real easy this is this is a hd version of pat that i'm not normally used to seeing and i will say that he looks like somebody tried to computer generated reconstruct mason verger's face from hannibal because if you look at though like the left side his face, it's all scrunchy and the putty's still

wet. You know what I mean? The other side is his eyes too deep and you're just like, that's unnatural. That's a weird, deep, unnatural eye. I feel like I want to chuck a quarter in it. You can tell that the lights are more blazing on the left because he's melting faster. He's shriveling

on that side. They're going to have to get a giant spats on the left because he's melting faster. He's shriveling on that side. They're going to have to, they're going to have a giant spats on the ground. Be like, time to flip him over. Somebody flip Pat. Oh,

will he spare everybody from him? You say, why does my father allow this to happen? The loss of a child is a terrible grief. But you know, the thing about that child

is 15. Maybe he was, you know, living for the child is 15 maybe he was you know living for the lord at 15 i don't know anything about him i was presuming he was so what would have happened maybe 10 years from now would he have started drinking would he have gone away from the lord what would have happened so god who's what okay going away from the lord yeah like turning away from jesus like people turn away from jesus they don't get killed all the time yeah like lots of people never even come to the lord like all the muslims and the buddhists and the jews a lot of people don't right the atheists and the fucking people going and going sees the end from the beginning knows what would

happen to that child and because he loves the child and loves him, he wants to bring him to heaven forever. And he wants to spare him some of the bad things that would happen down the road. Yeah. But he wants you to fucking suffer right now. Right? You got, I'm going to spare your kid, but you, you're going to live the rest of your life in terrible emotional anguish. There's a whole cup of grief, right?

Right. And instead of the kid drinking some of it, you're basically forcing the mom to drink it all. To drink it, right? Yeah. It's so mean. The whole thing is fucked. Like, God sees the whole thing. Like, he kills the kid.

Couldn't he just make the kid put down the bottle? Yeah. You know, like, maybe he'll become an alcoholic. Well, maybe you could help out with that instead of killing him. Well, I'm just saying, like, you had to go weird nuclear option here. You know, like, yeah, maybe he'll become an alcoholic. Well, maybe you can help out with that instead of killing him. Well, I'm just saying, like, you had to go weird nuclear option here. Like, you know, imagine if I if you thought I was drinking too much and instead of having a conversation, I just shoot you. It's like, Tom, I think maybe you're drinking his little stab, stab, stab. Come into the studio with a fucking snow shovel.

What's that for, Tonka? I just hit you with one of the empty bottles. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. Oh, fuck.

This is from the Hill. GOP tax bill would allow churches to endorse political candidates. There is a silver lining. This is recurring. This is regarding the Johnson amendment, the repeal of the Johnson amendment. So the churches can do what they already can and do, do regularly,

which is to endorse candidates from the pulpit without fear of losing their IRS tax exempt status. Here's the silver lining though. I don't think anything's going to happen with this tax bill. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, these guys can't get anything passed.

They can't pass in the left lane on their way to work. They said there's two that wanted to get in the Senate and said, I don't know. No, uh-uh. They're all getting like shaking their head and like waggling their finger and they're being like, no, uh-uh. And they have to send it all back.

And then they're like, we don't want to fix it. No one is putting a ring on this. But what a fucking kick in the balls it is and they have to send it all back. And then they're like, well, we don't want to fix it. No one is putting a ring on. Yeah. So, but, but what a, what a fucking kick in the balls. It is though, to be at the end of the tax bill,

something that they don't even contribute to. To be like, by the way, this core, this, this group of people that don't pay any taxes already. Right. Also get some fucking say-so

in the political shit that happens in this country now. I mean, it is atrocious. The Johnson Amendment, you know, the problem is many fold. Like first, nobody's enforcing it as it is.

Right. We already talked about that. And it's really problematic for that. So to some degree, it's sort of like just formalizing what we already don't do. Already don't do it. Right.

But I think that symbols matter, you know, and this is a problem, but again, like, I don't think these guys can get a fucking thing done. Yeah. They have proven they've had a damn near a year now and they've gotten fucking nothing done. Every time something happens. It's my favorite thing. They do delightful when stuff doesn't happen too because it's always either

Mitch McConnell's giant throat nodes or it's Paul Ryan's smarmy fucking face up there just like, I can't get anything done. Look at what they have tried. We're going to repeal and replace. Well, you know. We'll just do it by

executive order. It's like legislatively absolutely nothing Like, we're going to repeal and replace. Well, you know. No. We'll just do it by executive order. Yeah. How's that? Yeah. But it's like legislatively. Yeah. No. Absolutely nothing. Yeah. Anything executive order wise, they repealed and did a bunch of shit executive order wise.

But, you know, Obamacare is still here. You know, open enrollment is right now. So they fucked it up. I don't get me wrong. They can set fire to pieces of it for sure. But like legislatively, they can't get a fucking thing done. They can't get me wrong. They can set fire to pieces of it for sure. But like legislatively, they can't get a fucking thing done. They can't get a thing done.

So we want to thank our patrons, but we want to thank specifically our most recent patrons, Tamir, Walter, Ayed, Ben, Leslie, Weston,

and Shannon. Thanks so much for your generous donations. We truly do appreciate it. You're the reason glory hole studios is possible. Remember that if you become a patron soon, uh, some of that money that you give to us is going to go to modest needs when we're on the,

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You got to check out with David Smalley 3 PM on the second to be running from the 3 p.m. I don't know if it's Eastern or Central. I'm not sure. 3 p.m. You got to check out with David Smalley. 3 p.m. on the 2nd to 3 p.m. on the 3rd of December, which we will take part of 10 a.m. Chicago time, Central time. But we will be donating to that. And the money that we get to donate from this show comes from the patrons.

It does. So thanks for being patrons, guys. We really do appreciate it. You guys do good work with some of that money. We wind up giving it to It Gets Better. We wind up giving several hundred dollars throughout the year and several thousand dollars throughout the year to different charities.

Anytime we do good, it's only because of you. Yeah, it's only because the patrons. So thank you so much. So we got an image from Tim and Tim sent along what we should pack when we go to Australia. So if you check out this week's show notes, this is episode

386. You can check out what we should pack when we head to Australia. He's not lying. So thanks, Tim. So many. We got a great website. This is from Blake this is terrific

and he sent in a game called Thoughts and Prayers the Game we'll put a link on this week's show notes check it out I played it earlier and did not do well check it out it's a very funny game called Thoughts and Prayers the Game my brother Lou sent in a message

and we're talking about the foods that we ate foods that we ate right out of a can and Lou said my fallback in our grand days of food stamp gourmet lunches was can of Campbell's pork and beans with the cold cheap

hot dog cut into it. Nothing screams lazy like a cold can of gas grenades with a dissected tube of assholes and lips of various animals in it. It's so true. It's so funny too because we ate the fuck out of that growing up. That was like a once

a week meal for our family was Franks and Beans. Franks and Beans? Yeah, as foul as fuck. I haven't had that in 25 years. I would say 25 years I haven't had Franks and Beans. Good. Yeah.

Good. There are some foods from my childhood. It's best never to repeat. Yeah. Never want to do that again. Thanks for mailing, Lou. So this one is from Taylor. And Taylor says,

you still love to eat corned beef hash straight out of the can. Corned beef hash in the can is just like that Diddy Moore beef stew. Oh, God. It's dog food. It smells like dog food. It is the greasiest shit ever. To not even warm it up, to eat cold,

solidified, congealed grease. Oh, my God. I would eat more than two cans. David sent in a message and said that our neighbor gave my mom a can of spam and a pack of bologna.

My mother had no idea what to do with it, so she made tacos out of it. So stupid. We got a bunch of people i was arguing people on twitter about spam they're like spam is great i'm like you are crazy you're a crazy person it tastes like it tastes like fucking somebody like squirrel parts and mice so it's like imagine you had a piece of gross ham and you dropped it into the blue shit in the porta potty that's what spam tastes like fuck off with that spam

shit so this is from this is from Casey that says first off your phone number is lol lol I don't buy it but also Casey says my little sister and I used to eat olives straight from the can and my sister used to drink the black olive

she calls it juice but it's brine that's brine god damn that's disgusting people drink pickle juice I've seen people drink pickle juice too and that is foul as fuck that is when I did that go ruck challenge a bunch of those idiots had pickle juice to replace their

electrolytes oh okay and what happened they all smelled like dill garbage. It was just garlic garbage dill. Oh, it was just like, yeah. You guys are going to be thirsty later. Yeah. You're idiots. They always, whenever I fence and there's like sort of a thing to sort of go to, they always have pretzels and Gatorade

and then very often they will have oranges and then pickles. They'll have pickles out. And I'm always like, that's gross. I'm not going to eat a pickle while I'm fucking fencing. That's disgusting. I love pickles. I hate pickles. I'm disgusted by them.

I don't care what kind of pickle it is either. There's no pickle that's good to me. Really? There's no pickle that I've had that I've been like, that's a good pickle. Pickled anything is out. I can't think anything pickled that I like. I can't think of a single thing.

Olives are brine. That's different. I know. I'm just curious. But I don't, I'm not crazy about olives. I like olives in food, but I'm not an olive person.

Like I would never grab a green olive. Like that would never occur to me to just be like, I'll eat this green olive, but I will eat like cut off black olives in food. Not on pizza. I'm not a fan of it on pizza, but I could eat them in like, like in certain pastas and things. I think they're okay. I'm not in love. I'm not a fan of them on pizza, but I could eat them in certain pastas and things.

I think they're okay. I fucking love olives. I'm not a huge olive person. When Haley's not going to be home, I'll be like, I'm having olive tapenade for dinner. And I'll just eat olive tapenade because she hates them too.

So I'm like, I want to be like, hey, I smell like something you hate. That's no good. But I'll be like, oh, you're not going to be home? I'll just have olive tapenade. I'll have a fucking 1,800 calories of saturated fats. I'll have a muffaletta. good. Yeah. But like, I'll be like, Oh, you're not going to be home. I'll just have olive top knot. I'll have a fucking 1800 calories of saturated fat.

I'll have a muffaletta. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's just delicious. Yeah. I don't,

I don't like that stuff. I don't like, but I don't like pickles at all. Like I can't think of anything pickled that I'm like, yeah, give me that. I'm like, Nope.

So a Bloody Mary is a nightmare for you. A Bloody Mary is the worst, the worst thing ever. And I really hate the ones that like come with like the fucking, like the kitchen sink. I love that shit. Where they're like, I'm going to stack up. I'm going to see how much. I love it. It's like Dj with the fucking kitchen sink. I love that shit. I'm going to stack up. I'm going to see how much. It's like Django with a Bloody Mary.

That shit makes me smile. I cannot stop smiling. I still want to go to one of those places where it has like... The chicken. But I've seen like... I saw one the other day online. It's like a chicken with a burger on top of the chicken. A chicken with a burger? It's a whole burger on top of a chicken sticking out of this gas can of Bloody Marys.

It made me laugh. So years ago, I went partying. This was when my friends were in college and I was still working. And we went up to U Madison. But U Madison was a great place to go party. I was the same age as all those people. So I was 21, they were 21.

We went out, we went drinking. And I remember we all woke up pretty hungover the next day after hanging out up there. We all, you know, hung out and chilled and drank and just spent the night up there and just enjoyed it. And then after we were done, the next morning we all got up and we went to the bar and everybody ordered Bloody Marys

and I had never had one before. And so it shows up and it's just this big, nasty fucking cup of fucking, it's mostly vodka, the little bit of the, the, the tomato, the tomato Clamato juice

or whatever that's in there. And then there's just a shit all pouring out of a bunch of pickles and nasty shit in it. And I just like, I look at it and I take one sip and I'm like,

oh, it's so bad. And the waitress comes back. She's like, and she's like, you know, maybe a year or two older than me. And she's like, oh honey, she just like, I look at it and I take one sip and I'm like, oh, it's so bad. And the waitress comes back. She's like, and she's like, you know, maybe a year or two older than me. And she's like, oh, honey. She's like, you're not going to like this. I'm like, I'm not wanting to. She's like, I'll tell you what, I'll bring you a pumpkin beer.

And she went back and she got me a pumpkin beer. And it was outstanding. It was one of the best beers I've ever had because I didn't have to drink that bloody beer. It was like, it was like a reprieve. It was like, oh, and it was great. Actually, pumpkin beer on a hangover. Absolutely perfect.

Absolutely perfect. It was pumpkin beer on draft and it was really excellent. It was excellent. It was a perfect hangover remedy. I was loved. Because everybody else was like, man, here's the dog.

Got to get some Bloody Marys. I mean, I was just like, I'll have another pumpkin beer, please. This is amazing. I want a Bloody Mary and a pumpkin beer. Like, I want both. I don't know which one I want to get drunk off of to cure the other one with. I'm willing to try it both ways. Tom, we got a message.

This is from Cam. Yeah, so this is great. Cam is relating a story about a cylinder beach where their mother went swimming. So I'm gonna have to paraphrase a little bit, but this is so quintessentially delightfully Australian. Mom goes swimming.

It's still on her beach and a fucking swarm or herd or whatever of sharks shows up. And they're talking like 30 to 60 of these great big ass fucking sharks. Jesus Christ. And then so they sound the fucking alarm. Where do you people live? What is wrong with you people? They sound the alarm because you live in a place where there's an oh god sharks alarm.

That's it. Shark alarm. And I love the way. You know they solve the shark alarm by shooting crocodiles into the water. So and I love the way this is written. It's like everyone evacuated the water when the hooters sounded, except my mom. My mom did not hear the hooters

and the loud holler announcements. Warning of the sharks kept swimming. My brothers and sisters and me tried to get her attention by waving frantically. She waves back and then keeps swimming with a whole bunch of sharks happily swimming around her and under. This is the part that feels so delightfully Australian.

She eventually emerges unscathed and was, of course, terribly embarrassed with her and under. This is the part that feels so delightfully Australian. She eventually emerges unscathed and was, of course, terribly embarrassed with her near miss. I love the idea that she's like, like everybody but in Australia would be like, oh my god, I almost died. Australia's just like, yeah, that's standard. I just don't want to look foolish while doing it.

They almost died. It's like, hey, you're covered in funnel web. Top to bottom, you are literally covered right now. And you're like, oh, you're covered in funnel web. Top to bottom. You are literally covered right now. And you're like, oh, are they fucking with my hair? You don't have any more appendages. You just have sharks that have bitten you to the shoulders and to the thighs.

And you're just like walking around with flipper hands and flipper legs. And you just got bull sharks on every appendage. And you're just like, do I look weird? Do I look weird like this? I hope I don't look weird. By the way, in the studio, I'm doing a movement with my arms that I can't really. I don't know that I can.

I don't know what I'm doing. Is that a shark skin suit? These are fish boots. All I got is this basket. These are fish boots. All I got is this basket. We got an awesome video from Darren. And in this video,

there's a hawk that flies by, picks up a snake, and then throws it at the people. It totally does. And they're all Australian. What is happening down there? Your birds of prey throw snakes. And then the people are running away from the snake and they're like fuck that shit the fucking snake is huge dude

it's like the size of this table it's fucking enormous oh my god we're gonna die check out this week's show notes for this video oh so we got a message from Jay and Jay said he was he was listening to episode 385

when we're talking about juicing. And he said he blames Jack LaLanne for the problem with juice being, sort of being a magic cure-all. He says he enjoys fruit juice, and he's like veggie-based. He loves the flavor. He's like, but whenever he goes into the juice shop,

he just wants to order something that sounds good, but he always has to order the mega cleanse one because it sounds good, but he doesn't care about the cleansing part of it. He just wants the pineapple kale one or whatever. He wants the intestinal car wash. That's what he wants. It's funny because juice isn't

great for you. It's just calorie bound. You're just taking all of the calories from the stuff and You're just taking all of the calories from the stuff and you're not getting any of the fiber or the good stuff to make you full.

And yeah, you're right. Jack LaLanne, he did, he was one of those juicing guys for a long time. And there's a lot

of people out there who think that juicing will save your life. Oh, I know. That shit is crazy. My ex got into juicing for a while and I'm like,

this is crazy. We're throwing away half of the food that we could just, we could just eat this food. Why are we taking this food and rendering food that is good to eat? Good to drink. Like I will just have this food in a glass of water. Yeah. I don't want to eat an entire fucking bunch of bananas in a gulp.

Like that's gross. Yeah. I don't, I don't... I do make shakes, like protein shakes, but they're never like a bunch of...

The most they'll put in there is like a banana. That's the thing. I eat smoothies. I'll do the same thing. I'll have a smoothie or whatever. That's different than juicing because the whole thing goes in. The whole thing gets consumed. That's true. In juicing, you throw away more than you keep oh yeah because you juice uh yeah yeah you're right you're right yeah because of the yeah you throw away all the pulp well most of the volume is pulp yeah leslie said she used to eat vienna sausages from the can oh i i haven't had those

in a long time they're they were always disgusting to me they always they always had a really like i don't know there's just an off flavor to them. It's eating a dingus. It is eating a dingus. And then basically Leslie says that she loved Campbell's chicken noodle soup and still does.

That's just a salt food. That's just a sodium food. I could eat it or not eat it. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me to eat it, but I will say that it is a salt food and those noodles in there are just as bad as the noodles in the other side. They're just as slimy and gross. If you can take a pasta outside of your teeth and breathe in and it's able to go in your mouth. That's not a good pasta. That's not a way a pasta should make.

It should not be able to be strained through your teeth. Right. You know, that's not how it should work. Right. Like not bailing. Yeah, exactly.

Like if I, if I held outside of my mouth, right, like right outside of my mouth, the, the, the noodles in either chef boy or D or in this other stuff. And I went,

I could suck them into my mouth because they could suck them through the gates of your teeth. because they're just like, they're no longer a structure. They're just kind of sort of hanging around in the same area, but they're not a structure anymore. No.

And so that's a disgusting, gross noodle, but I will say that it's just a salt food. Oh, I really do. My dad used to love Campbell's chicken noodles.

Really? And I just, we have so much of it. The chicken is so gross in it. The chicken is to love Campbell's chicken noodles. Really? And I just, I just, we have so much. The chicken is so gross in it. The chicken is terrible. The noodles are terrible. Ugh. And it has like,

like if you dilute it with water, like you're supposed to, like it has like, like the fat, like bubbles on the top. And like, it's just, it's so unappealing.

It's so unappealing. I will say though, Campbell's tomato soup. Yeah. I would, I would eat that with a grilled cheese. Sure. Yeah. It's just, it's so unappealing. It's so unappealing. I will say though, Campbell's tomato soup. Yeah. I would eat that with a grilled cheese. Sure. Yeah. It's fine.

There's a bunch of different kinds of soups. Like I don't, and another person said chunky, like the chunky sirloin burger smells like dog food and it does smell like dog food. Like there's a, there's a specific canned flavor that comes out when you can meat that it's just like, yeah, no, that smells like dog food. It's chuckwag. Yeah. It's chuckwag. Yeah, it's chuckwag. We got a message from Joe

and Joe wound up donating $800 to the It Gets Better project just to cover that gap. We have now donated our $2,000 to It Gets Better. So $4,000 to It Gets Better. Don't let this stop you. If you want to donate, donate to It Gets Better.

If you want to wait a little bit, wait until the early Decembers, donate during our hour so we can have the best hour on David Smalley's Dogma Debate. To modest needs, which is another great and worthy charity. I'm not even going to talk about this. I can't even talk about this. This is a perfect encapsulation of an image though, about all the stuff we've been talking about. So check it out.

It's on this week's show notes. I mean, it's the most disgusting image of pre-processed foods I've ever seen in my entire life. What would it take to make you eat? Dalton, oh my God. There's no amount of money that can make me eat that. There's no amount of money. Would you have the licorice make you eat that? Dalton, oh my God. There's no amount of money that can make me eat that. There's no amount of money. Would you have the licorice before you try that again?

Oh, I'd eat the licorice right now. Are you kidding me? In comparison? Like if you were to be like, Cecil, I'll give you $50. I would eat that licorice in a second. In a second for $50. I'm not sure I could eat that licorice.

I don't know after two attempts that my body will allow me to do it. I think $50. If somebody said to me, I will donate $50 to Modest Needs, I would eat a piece of that licorice. I would donate $50 to Modest Needs because I'm not sure I can do

it. I've tried twice. But this, I would, yeah, there's not a money that you could pay me. I could choke that down. I couldn't. No way. I could choke a bite of that. No way. I could get that down. God, I just threw up in my mouth just thinking about it. Tom, we got a message from Jason and he has

a question. This is something I don't know that I can answer because I'm not a parent, but he says, how do you approach the concept of death in children? Well, I appreciate the question. I'm a bad parent, so you take my advice for what it's worth. I do have a three-year-old. He mentions he's got a daughter that's the same age. My three-year-old's a bit of a dullard though. So

I don't have to talk about death with him just yet. Um, at some point shaking, what's that? It's all that shaking. It is. It is. It came in handy. I don't have to talk about death with him. He's quiet for four years. Um, but you know, the question is like, when and how do you talk to your kids about death? I really think this is a lot of things with parenting. It depends on the kid. I really do think that. It depends on the kid. Some kids are comforted by stories.

Some kids are not. Some kids are really sensitive to ideas of death. Other kids are extremely matter-of-fact about these things. I don't think that there is such a thing as how or when. Some kids are really sensitive to ideas of death. Other kids are extremely matter of fact about these things. I don't think that there is such a thing as how or when. Kids are so incredibly different. They mature at really different rates for the first many years of their lives. There's no such thing as an average three-year-old.

That's a nonsense concept. There's no such thing as an average kid. They're just constantly in variation. No part of their systems have matured. Who they are on Tuesday is different than who the fuck they're going to be on Wednesday. They have a great day on Tuesday. Wednesday, they could be a living nightmare to live with. You have no idea. So you got to feel out your own kid and see what are the things that comfort them? What's their level of understanding around mortality? How does it work? What do they think life looks like? What do they think happens? I think you can do some question asking that's good.

You know, what do you think happens? Where do you think we go? What do you think being alive? I mean, they'll give you very simple answers, but they'll engage those kinds of conversations. I don't know. I would say don't have kids. That'd be my first thing to say.

I would say the same thing if you've got a choice. Good luck, Jason. Well, that's going to wrap it up for this week. And this is the last week before we head off to Australia. So this is the last week.

We are going to be recording one more time before we go, but that show is going to release after we come back. And the next show that we're going to release is also going to be recording one more time before we go, but that show is going to release after we come back. And the next show that we're going to release is also going to release that we already recorded is going to release after. So a couple of shows we've already recorded

will release after. But we're looking forward to Australia. If you're going to be down there, come see us. We're looking forward to it. And be sure to put David Smalley's Dogma Debates podcast-a-thon on your calendar. We're looking forward to that as well. That's going to wrap it up for this week.

We're going to leave you like we always do with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, and scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating pressurized stereogram pyramidal free energy healing water downward spiral brain dead pan sales pitch late night info docutainment leo pisces cancer cures detox reflex foot massage death and towers tarot cards psychic healing crystal balls bigfoot, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues. Temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts.

Shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody. Evidential. Conclusive.

Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis. No refunds. Produced in association with the local dairy council and viewers like you. What kind of pudding? You know, I'm a chocolate mousse guy.

That's like my favorite pudding. Is that a pudding? Yeah, I mean, I would say it's a pudding. All right. Because, you know, like, chocolate pudding is fucking money. Yeah. It's just money, right? It's just money.

But banana pudding with Nilla wafers? If I could still chew them, if I have a good, if I have, like, two decent molars. That's not bad. But I can get it. I don't dislike, you know, the Nilla wafers, though, once you, if you put them in and then, like, it sits for a little while, those just turn into nothing. I like, but here's the thing. When you first put them in,

they're a little too hard. They have to sit for the amount of time that soaks up some moisture. It's like you put them in and then you watch the commercial for 60 minutes where you hear the tick, tick, tick. And then that's just enough. That's the perfect time. Vanillas are done. When I get that age,

all I'm going to do is eat cold cereal from a bowl. That's all I'm going to do. I just want a cold cereal. a bowl. That's all I'm going to do. I'm just like, all I want. I just want a cold cereal. That's all I want. But you can't have grape nuts. I'll tell you what though. I'll tell you what though.

If that could be my diet, I would eat cold cereal all the time. Would you really? Oh my God. I love cold cereal so much. My favorite is Crispex. That's my favorite cereal. Regular Crispex? Regular Crispex is my favorite cereal.

That one is, that one is absolutely knock it out of the park. I can eat, I can eat that until I hurt. Like until I really genuinely, I'm like, I get like, like I have to stop. Like I have to stop myself.

Cereal is just like ice cream. It's one of those things that you can put into your body way more than is reasonable. That is reasonable. Right. So like with ice cream, ice cream, you could just eat until you're just,

you just pop, you pass out with ice cream juice on your you could just eat until you just pass out with ice cream juice on your face. Like there's custard all over the bed, all over the couch. There's a sticky spoon somewhere and you're just like, I must have fallen asleep

eating ice cream again. But yeah, I can eat ice cream indefinitely. I only know I'm done with ice cream when I'm out of ice cream. Yeah. You're finished with ice cream. Seriously, that's why I won't buy ice cream for myself. Like I'll have it in the house for other people,

but I have to mentally decide that's not my ice cream. If I buy ice cream for myself, I'm like, that's, I will eat though. I don't even care. That pint of ice cream is a single serving. That's an absolute single serving.

I could eat that pint of ice cream. And if you had some leftover, I'd be like, yeah, I'll finish yours too. It's single serving. No problem. But, but cereal, cold cereal for me is the exact same way. Is it really? I can eat that indefinitely. I, cause, cause when I was a kid, we never had cold cereal. That was one of the things that we just never had. And whenever I

would go spend the night at a friend's house or whatever, they would have it. And it was like, it was like a food you hoard. It was like a food, same thing with pizza with me growing up was the exact same thing. It was like, I could eat pizza until I pass a food. Same thing with pizza with me growing up was the exact same thing. It was like I could eat pizza until I pass out. It's just. I'm trying to think. Does granola count as cereal? Would you count granola?

I don't know. If you put milk on it, I would count a fucking small cat. Like elf? It's just kind of like a bowl of cats. Because I'm trying to think of the last time I had cold cereal. Yeah.

And it's been a long time. I don't eat it. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. But I don't buy it because I know I'll eat it. I'll eat it like crazy. You'll eat the whole thing. Yeah, I'll eat the whole damn thing.

Wow. But I don't buy it specifically because of that. Because I know that I'm just like, yeah, I just put in 7,000 calories because I ate an entire family size box. Box of crisp eggs. Of crisp eggs. But man, I fucking, that is, that is my, that's a food that I can eat a lot of. I used to eat grape nuts

until I sheared some of my teeth into bits. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, the grape nuts won. Oh, yeah. Those things are like, I mean, that is... It's pebbles. It's a way to grind your face. But I love it.

I love it, too. I love it. You buy it by the grit, like sandpaper. Exactly, right? Yeah, it's like 220. Yeah, that stuff is good. I know I'm not a big sugar cereal guy. Like for me,

like the sugar cereals I'm kind of mad on. I used to love Golden Grahams when I was a kid. I had them. They were not as good as I remember as being a kid. Same thing with Cookie Crisp.

Same thing with the Captain Crunches. Although I remember eating the Captain Crunch peanut butter when I was a kid till I almost died. Like I remember that stuff was absolutely amazing. Crunch berries too. I remember eating that. You can get only crunch berries. I don't, I would, I don't know that I would like that though. Cause I liked, I liked the Captain Crunch that was in it. That's, that's a, cause it's just a sugar bomb too. It's just an unflavored, it's an unsour sugar bomb. That's the only difference, right? What's the worst cereal?

I'm trying to think. I like a lot of cereals. It's hard for me to think. Yeah, right? That's the only difference, right? What's the worst cereal? I'm trying to think. I like a lot of cereals. It's hard for me to think of one. I'll go. Corn pops? Corn pops? I remember corn pops. I hated those.

They're okay. I hated the way they felt when they touched the milk. They got slimy on the outside. They were like little... Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess they did. Like little snot rockets.

Yeah. And then golden smacks, I think they were called. I don't know those. They had the frog that was their mascot jumped around. Sugar smacks. Sugar smacks. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I think they were called. I don't know those. They had the frog that was their mascot jumped around. Sugar Smacks. Sugar Smacks.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, those were atrocious. That's just puffed wheat with sugar on it. Oh my God. I hated those things. Again, same thing texturally. For me, it was horrible. It was all the ones that looked like the sugar versions, but weren't.

So for me, it's puffed wheat that doesn't have any sugar on it. I remember eating that and puffed rice when I was a kid. Puffed rice is the worst. That is the worst cereal. Puffed rice is the worst cereal. Is that supposed to be a Rice Krispie with no sugar? No, it's very different. It tastes like packing peanuts. It's the worst

cereal, dude. It's the worst. It's genuinely the worst. And my parents were kids. We were kids. We never bought box cereal. We bought cereal in bags because it was the cheaper cereal, right? So we used to get the bags of cereal. My mom would get a bag of those and a bag of the other ones.

And when you pour them in, they're super light. And like, when you pour the milk in, they actually start to float up because of the pressure. The pressure of the air lifts them up. They're so light. And then when you put the milk in there,

they're just the saddest little flavor. They just taste like a, they taste like something melting in your mouth and there's nothing to it. And you just like, it's just like the grossest. Is it worse than an unflavored rice cake? It tastes just like an unflavored rice cake. It tastes just like,

but you put milk on it, but it's just like chunks of that. So it's like light, fluffy chunks of unflavored rice cake. It tastes just like that's a coaster but you put milk on it but it's just like chunks of that. So it's like light fluffy chunks of an unflavored rice cake. It's really unflavored rice cakes

are a coaster. It's really genuinely the worst. Yeah. Oh, it's the worst. It's structural. That's the worst cereal I've ever had is that

but I even like like shredded wheat. Oh, I love shredded wheat. Shredded wheat is great. I have shredded wheat in my house. So I guess I have had cereal because I give it to my kids

and I'll just stand there and snack on it. It's delicious. Yeah, I love shredded wheat.