Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 389: Live from Skepticon Australia

Episode Date: December 4, 2017

This is our live show from the stage at Skepticon. Hope you enjoy it.

Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a couple weeks. This show that I'm going to be playing for you recorded a couple weeks ago at Skepticon Australia. I think it was the 19th or 18th of November that we recorded this. We were the last act on stage the first day. It's a little shorter than our normal shows because we only had an hour worth to perform. There was a little bit of a glitch in the beginning with the mic. So it sort of starts pretty abruptly.

So, uh, so there's a, it sort of starts pretty abruptly. Uh, you don't get a chance to hear the announcer make our announcement because there was a couple of seconds of us fiddling around with, uh, with the audio to get it. So the audience could hear our computer and hear us. Uh, but, uh, but we think the show turned out good. It was actually a really difficult show to perform because, uh, the audience was lower than us and it's in a stage where it's hard to hear the audience applause or hard to hear audience laughter. So there wasn't a lot of feedback, which you normally get with a live show, which was not really as readily apparent at this venue. So it was a little more difficult to get audience feedback to know what was working. So we don't go off on as many tangents as we normally do because it was hard to sort of gauge where the audience was and what was working and what wasn't. We think it's a pretty good show. It certainly has its problems, it being a live show and all. But we had a wonderful time at

Skepticon. The people down there, absolutely wonderful. We had a great time not only at the venue, but with everyone that we met. We met tons of people. I had several people come up to me and they knew the show. They knew us and they were just welcoming and wonderful people. I'm sure we're going to, Tom and I will have a full conversation about this on the next show when we record. Tom's not here right now.

It's just me. We'll have a full conversation about what we experienced down there. But I really did have a great time. And we want to thank the people who ran Skepticon Australia for letting us come on the main stage. We also have a citation needed that we released, and that is already out. So if you want to hear that, that came out last week. That's with this whole Citation Needed crew did a podcast there as well. So without further ado, this is our Skepticon release that we did on stage there. We'll be back next week. Tom reads the Skeptics' Creed live, and that's how this ends.

It will end with applause, not with our normal outro. But without further ado, here's the episode. Let's do this thing. Let's play some music. My favorite part. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. That's it. Wow, that's the show. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah!

I feel like we nailed that. See, so I'm a little uncomfortable. I've got to do the thing here, right? Take my shit out. Tom does this every week. Make my piles. No, yeah, get it here, right? Take my shit out. Tom does this every week. Make my piles. No, yeah. Get it out of there. Everything in my pockets. You know, I got to say, before we start, I don't feel properly prepared. This is an amazing country. Austria is tremendous, by the way. It's awesome. I haven't seen a cuckoo clock yet. I'm still waiting. I don't

know where you guys keep them. It's confusing. But do you know they have this traditional Australian war paint? And you can keep it tucked nicely in your wallet, which I just realized today at breakfast, which is nice because it tastes so much like ass. Anyhow. Is it ribbed for her pleasure? Who cares about her, bud? No, that's not fair.

I wouldn't understand that. So I do. I am excited about the war paint. I want to get traditional, you know? It's just Australia. I feel like I want to blend in. I don't want your poisonous shit to bite me. Are you going to do that clap dance that they do?

Oh, that Maori shenanigans dance? Yeah, yeah. No. They don't want to see that. Not my hands have. I'm just going to wipe this on your side. That would have been almost funny. I have to say that we've been here and we came last night.

Some of you came out to the skeptical event last night. We met some of you. Yeah, that guy. So a couple of you have heard our show. A round of applause. How many people have heard our show before? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The whole show? Yeah. Thank goodness. Oh my God. Oh my God. That takes a lot of pressure off. I'm not going to lie to you guys. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. All right. All right. Well, let's get started, Tom. You wrote it. What?

Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I didn't want to step on you. No, go ahead. You want to fuss with shit on the table and try to distract me? Because I am a consummate professional, motherfucker. Hit it. Recording live.

I hope they're recording. Yeah. From fucking Sydney, Australia. Holy shit. This is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad.

It's skeptical, it's political, and there is no welcome mat. This is episode 390. Yes, that's what I was going to say. Thank you. I knew it. Just a little test. A little test for you, Cecil. Make sure you're comfortable.

So before we came down, you had written a quiz for me. I did. Specifically about Australia. So we're going to start out with a little... Tom wants to quiz me on Australia. So we'll just amuse him for a minute. So go ahead. I just I was concerned that he hadn't done his research. He doesn't do a lot of work around this thing. So, you know, I just get a little worried. So ever since we were announced that we were coming to Oz, you know, you guys

have had the good graces to send us emails of all your poisonous, horrifying shit. Thanks for making us feel welcome. That really does. Oh, yeah, that's amazing. I like the guy who sent the snake that was literally swallowing like a fucking wallaby. That was awesome. Yeah, there's you literally scared the shit out of like 10 of my friends on Facebook. They sent me private messages that triggered like what? So I was I was a little concerned and I, you know, I did a little research. I want to make sure there's some things to avoid here. So Cecil, which of the following is not an actual creature that lives here and wants you to not live at all? Okay. All right.

So the gimpy gimpy tree, a venomous tree whose sting is so excruciating it's been known to kill dogs, horses, and people. horses, and people. And it's so amazingly awful that dried specimens 100 years old can still cause an agony that is like being, quote, and I love this, burnt with hot acid, not quite enough, and also electrocuted at the same time. This is a tree. You married a gimpy, gimpy tree? The first one's practice. Yeah, that's true. The first one is practice. The first one's practice. Yeah, that's true. The first one is practice. Okay, all right. Okay.

One of these is not real. Okay. B, the cone snail. It's a boring-looking, shelled little sea bug that shoots its fucking teeth at you, and the teeth are filled with neurotoxins. That sounds like the worst blowjob ever, by the way. Second worst. Yeah, well, if you go back for seconds, it's a lot better. All the teeth.

39, I'm not going back for seconds. Are you kidding me? The bogan, a species of unfortunately common Australian mammal, which would, if given the opportunity, probably make Australia great again. Australia great again. From what I'm to understand, the bogan does not have a defined number of teeth or steady employment. See, they do have steady employment.

Several people last night called me a bogan. They said it meant princess of Australia. I am your princess. He's been trying to convince us of that for so long. The cassowary. That's not a real thing. I know, right? It's one of a number, I guess you need more than one here, of flightless birds.

This son of a bitch can outrun you. It can out swim you. And although not protected like the queen swans, they attack hundreds of people a year. Because birds are dicks. Oh, are these the ones that were trying to unionize the factory farms? Is that, yeah? They were. They were busted by the bogans.

They brought them in as break the union. Did the paralysis tick? They didn't know what unions are. You guys don't have unions? No, they probably treat people well to start with. The paralysis tick is a fucking tick full of neurotoxins that, just because drinking your blood evidently isn't insulting enough, also fills you with toxins that can kill you after paralyzing. Well, that seems

weird. It doesn't seem like a long-term planner. It's like a, is it from the liberal party down here? Yeah, that's confusing, by the way. You guys need to swap that. I know you guys are upside down and backwards or sideways, however you guys do it down here, but it's very confusing. Or finally, native to Oz, these small people are known,

when in a group as a guild, often, often seen celebrating the death of their enemies with a high-pitched war chant. The most famous of these is named after their favorite candy, the lollipop. Ah, I think it's the final one. I met several little people last night.

They like to be called midgets. Oh, they prefer that. Is that right? I got that. Maybe that's backwards. So what we're going to do for you today is what we normally do when we travel is we bring with us some really funny Americans to play and talk about while we play the clips. But we figured we're traveling so far away from home, we'd play some people that you're a little familiar with. So today we're going to be talking, we're going to be playing clips from people that you might know.

We're going to be talking, we're going to be playing clips from people that you might know. So the first person is a person by the name of Dr. Isaac Golden, who is a homeopath here down in Oz. He, two people, people, round of applause who know what homeopathy is, right? Yeah. We know what homeopathy is. It's basically sugar water. But the sugar water swirls backwards. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. So we're going to play a clip from him, but we're going to do like we normally do and introduce the clip. How do you like that? My own mother falling for that stuff. Well, you don't know, Larry. Maybe Dr. Kuh-hoo-ha can help her. Doctor? That guy's no doctor. He's a quack. All right, so here we go. So here's the first clip. It's him talking about homeopathic vaccinations. So it's lovely to be with you all. I'm actually talking from a hotel room in Havana, Cuba. I'm over here. So it's important to understand right from the start. What we're going to be talking about is not something that's my invention. What we're going to be talking about is not something that's my invention.

It's not some small backyard operation that's been dreamt up by a few people over the years. I've got to say, backyard operation is a weird game. Yeah. You know, like, it's hard to get anybody to play it. You know, you cut them open, the neighbors get all weird about that shit. And if it homeopathy what's on the tray like what you just turn to the nurse you're like garden hose sugar pills like there's nothing else after that it's it's true it does make the uh it does make the cleanup process easier it's like splash some water no we already did that he continues we're going to be talking about a method that's been around for over 200 years.

1798 was the first time that Dr. Hunnaman, the founder of homeopathy, used medicines to prevent infectious diseases. And it's been used by millions of people and tens, probably hundreds of thousands of practitioners. Look, just because a lot of people do it doesn't mean it's great. We voted Donald Trump in the office. Not even most of us. I know. It doesn't even matter if it's most of us. You know, the thing is, like, being used by lots of people is, that's not generally a good thing. Like, it's not like there's a lot of people. It's like, she's been used by a lot of people. That's amazing. That's the one we want.

It's the argument from antiquity, too. You know, like the four humors were around for 2,000 years. I rely on the, as I get older, the argument from antiquity is the only argument I'm making at this point.

That's it. Including some of the greatest and best-known homeopaths of all time. All right, Cecil. The best-known homeopaths of all time. All right, Cecil. The best-known homeopaths. Name one homeopath. I've got a couple.

Pink Floyd co-founder Roger Waters. Nice. Okay, you got me. Famous boxer Sugar Pill Robinson. That's another one. I don't know any other. I should have known. I should have known you'd come prepared for this. It's another one.

I don't know any other. I should have known. I should have known you'd come prepared for this. So my small contribution to this is the... Isn't homeopathy the smallest contribution possible? Don't belittle a small contribution, all right? What? It's a lot of effort. It's still...

I always give the small contribution with a thank you note. It's relatively recent. It's an apology note I leave on the desk. You're going to... Anyway, if there's roses or something, I'm just sorry. I'm just sorry. My first homeoprophylaxis program, 1985-86, really in an attempt to provide parents who had made a decision that they were concerned about vaccination and didn't want to take the risk as they saw it of their children being affected by

vaccines to give them an option that they could use a safe method that was comparably effective to vaccination. Right. I love that this is there to give parents who've made the decision to be concerned. I don't know. I haven't decided whether to be concerned yet or not. That is a dilly over. That's a confusing one. Should I be concerned? Who made this decision to be concerned? When does this work in any other aspect of parenting too it's like like when you put one one thousandth of a mr yuck sticker on drain what is that home you got tiny little scissors to cut that fucking thing out homeopathic outlet cover is like a tiny little little i don't even know what you would do right we don't we don't we would parent any other way like that unless you're you don't take negligent you don't take candy from strangers unless they give you 1,000 vegetable trays too. I never give you vegetables. When it comes to safety of homeopathic

medicine in general, we know it's not toxic. And people in orthodox medicine agree with that. In fact, they say that homeopathic medicine in general can't work because nothing's there. Well, of course, nothing can't be toxic. can't work because nothing's there. Well of course nothing can't be toxic. No comment. Out loud and everything. Out loud and everything. Of course something is there, but it's not something which is easily measured by the equipment which orthodox people have at the moment. Well, we might get equipment to measure nothing. We have to go into the future to come back to measure it now? Isn't every time you tear your scale, isn't it measuring nothing?

Like, oh, what's the, how much does that weigh? Nothing. Because there's nothing in it. It's going to weigh nothing later, too. That's great. Empathic medicines are medicines of energy. They're prepared through a process of dilution and succussion. Dilution, one drop into 99 drops of alcohol and water.

Succussion, violently banging that against a firm surface. Hold on, hold on. Move her head down. That's rude. That's just rude. Violently banging against the firm surface. That's like hiring the Fonz to work on your TV. Just hits the books.

What, you think vaccines are glow sticks? Like you've got to crack it before it works? What is it, a grouchy baby? Yeah. Just shake the fuck up. What happens if you take the homeopathic stuff before you succussion it? Do you have to like bungee jump or something? You're just, can you succussion it too much? You got somebody who's like working a jackhammer, like, oh, I'm overdosing. Oh, fuck. What? We don't actually have a mechanism of action

that can be explained in terms that orthodox medicine is familiar with. Eventually we will, but at the moment we don't. We do have those terms. Useless, that's the term. We don't have it to explain in terms or using any words. We don't have words or machines. There's nothing there. But anyway, it's not toxic, so you don't have to worry about that. It's not going to get sick from not eating that.

And if you had like a magic box that cured cancer and you did know how it worked, you'd still be like, cool, I'll still use the magic box. It's not the fact that I don't know how it works. I think you'd spend some fucking time trying to figure out how your magic box works, right? You're like, hey, I got this magic box that cures cancer. Well, yes, but it kills you. Yeah. And the cancer stopped. Yeah. You're cured. I guess we already have that. We have that box. So all we can really do is look at whether it works. So in terms of safety, we know homeopathic immunization is non-toxic and certainly very safe in that regard in both the short and long term.

Yeah, safe and not effective. I mean, like, wouldn't you consider safety when you think about whether or not you're going to give this to your child? The safety is the fact, yeah, it's not going to hurt them. Wait, wait. Also, not doing anything. Does it make them go to sleep? You shake them. Okay.

Well, then I give it to them. You seccussion them. Yeah. Haven't you seen that sign? Never, ever, ever seccussion a baby. This is why my kids aren't good at math. It's fine. Oh, stop. They're terrible at it. They aren't good at math. It's fine. Oh, stop.

They're terrible at it. They're naturally bad at it. It's not because I shake them. I mean, I do shake them. Anyway, move on. Fine. Vaccines, we know that they're made from combinations of biological materials, chemicals, heavy metals, and so forth. So they are potentially toxic. So the safety issue is

something we can go over fairly quickly because the answer is clear when you're comparing the two methods. One is non-toxic, the other is potentially toxic. One is something, the other is potentially something? I have a question. Yes. Is there a homeopathic rabies cure? Not one that we're using. Yeah. Because people don't want to get fucking rabies. Remember that time you took your dog out, you know, and your dog got rabies? You gave him water every day.

Every day. Sugar water? I dunked a bat in it, and that's how you dilute it. I just waterboarded bats in these. Get in there, you dilute it you just dunk i just waterboarding bats in these ridiculous all right next clip i said who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole it's jesus It's Jesus. Dash, can we cut a hole in this? I feel like... I don't feel at home.

I know. Like, this is a nice clubhouse, but it's just not ours. So the next one is somebody you're all familiar with. He's not Australian. He's a Kiwi. Ray Comfort. Can you tell them apart? Are they the same?

Yeah, they sound exactly alike to me. Sorry, but, you know, whatever. So this is a minute of dinosaurs, but the rest of it is this super really weird analogy about waiting tables. It's amazing. If the Bible doesn't make reference to dinosaurs, something strange is going on. Obviously, there's dinosaur bones. They were huge bones.

So often people that believe in evolution think that dinosaur bones are proof the Bible is incorrect. But all you've got to do is study Job 40, verse 15. I have a scripture speaker, Behemoth. Yes, the Bible is one reference to dinosaurs. Ray Comfort is really interested in huge bones. I mean, really interested in huge bones. Yeah. I mean, really interested in huge bones. He seems very excited in this clip. What's with the music that he chose for the background?

Is it to be purposely distracting? Yeah. Some Bible commentators in the marginals say this is a hippopotamus, but the scriptures tell us that this largest of creatures that God has made had a tail like a cedar, a huge tail. Well, hippopotamus doesn't have a huge tail.

So it's obviously, in my thought, reference to the dinosaur. Yeah, this is a book that thinks insects have four legs. Should we be taking it's, what, word on appendages at this point? So here's our choices. Hippo, or people walked around with dinosaurs. If anyone needs Occam's razor,

I'm using it to shave today. Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? It's also moveth like a cedar, too. It's not a cedar. It's moveth like a cedar. I don't know what that means.

What is what moves like a cedar? Aren't those trees? Don't they just... They just tree all day. Like, that's just... The emphasis of the ministry of living waters and the way of the master is to evangelize the way Jesus did. I like this.

The way of the master, the way Jesus did. It's like when you can take the pebble from my. Oh, fuck. It keeps falling through my hand. Yeah. God damn it. So easy to get. But this is Ray.

So he's like, when you snatch the banana from my hand. And he always lets you get the banana. He always lets you get it. He offers it so frequently. Someone touched my banana. You should evangelize like Jesus did. Diet 30. And you'll see biblical evangelism is Lord of the proud and grace the humble.

When someone's proud of heart and arrogant and self-righteous, you give them the Ten Commandments. You just say, well, have you ever lied? Have you ever stolen? Have you ever looked with lust? Jesus, this guy talks fast. I feel like he's going to talk me into anal or something. He's trying.

That's why he ends with that lust thing. Have you ever looked with lust? Anyone? Any takers? Anyone look with lust? Lust? Any lust? No?

Anyway, I got a banana. Yeah, right? Here's a guy with a porn stash making the O face. Like, come on. And so that's the standard God's going to judge with. If someone's humble of heart, give them the gospel. You can see Jesus doing this with Nicodemus. He was humble of heart.

He knew the law. He was a godly Jew. Or the rich young ruler, the king of Christ, he was arrogant and self-righteous. So in Mark 10, verse 17, Jesus gave him the Ten Commandments of the law. Now, you may be thinking, man, this is kind of difficult. You know, it's confrontational. It's not confrontational. It's just judgy as fuck.

There's nothing confrontational about annoying people with shit they're just going to throw away later. That's not confrontational. That's confrontational. You know, you're going to burn in a lake of fire forever, just forever. But it's confrontational for a reason. Think of Nathan the prophet. He was called to reprove King David. David had broken the commandments.

He had lied, coveted, committed adultery, he had committed murder, and violated so many commandments. So when Nathan came to him, he spoke in the natural realm about a lamb, and then he said, you are the man, why have you despised the commandment of the Lord? And then David cried out,

I've sinned against God. Did he just catch David fucking a lamb? Catch? David was showing off. Is David a Kiwi too? King David kind of sounds like my kind of guy. Up until the murder point, I was right there with him. It's a little dextery, but you know.

And then Nathan brought the good news. Nevertheless, you shall not die. God has put away your sin. Well, there is the formula for biblical evangelism. We start in the natural realm, maybe evolution or whatever, and then we swing to the spiritual and personalize sin and say, you're the man. Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord? And once there's a knowledge of sin, they cry, God, forgive me. There's a humble heart. That's when you bring the good news of the gospel. Nevertheless,

you shall not die. God has put away your sin, but God so loved the world, et cetera. Et cetera. I feel like we're blown to the fine print here. I feel like I'm signing up for something I shouldn't. Who preaches with et cetera? Anyway, you guys know the rest, et cetera, et cetera. Just fill in the blanks. Tithe or something, whatever. 10%.

Now, the confrontational aspect, if you study what happens when you go to a restaurant, think of this. You go to a restaurant with a friend to speak personal business. And as you're speaking, suddenly some stranger comes up and says, can I take your order? You don't turn to him and say, excuse me, I was talking to my friend, very personal business. And you just walk up, butt in and say, can I take your order? Get out of here, you're very rude. Who the fuck does that?

You're at a restaurant. Like, did you not notice the place you chose to sit down and have this conversation? Like, excuse the hell out of me. I'm in your place of business. Oh, yeah, it's a restaurant. Okay, yeah. I want some sandwiches. Fuck. That doesn't happen.

Why not? Well, the waiter knows that you're there and he has something for something that he has. Let me play that again. That doesn't happen. Why not? Well, the waiter knows that you're there and he has something for something that he has.

Nailed it. Nailed it. He has something for something that he has. Antibiotics for venereal disease. Probably with that porn stash that's required. You're there for food, okay? And that's where his confidence is. He just knows you're there for food.

That's why he's bold. He's just asking you a question about what you want to eat. That's not bold. That's his actual, like, if he doesn't do that, he's not at work today. What? He's a waiter. This is a great metaphor. Now imagine this. We have a brand new waiter. It's his first day. And the manager says, see those businessmen over there with the ties and suits discussing important business? Go up and take your order. Yeah, that's, that's his, that sounds like my kid. When my kid comes with me to work, he'll sit at my desk sometimes.

He'll sit at my desk at work and he'll grab the phone and computer and say, business and numbers, numbers and business. He does that because he's 10. He understands better. He's 10. This is a waiter. What did he think he was signing up for when he got the job as a waiter? Admittedly, that's all Tom does at work, too, is just scream business and numbers. I just yell business and numbers.

It's gotten me pretty damn far. I'll tell you what. A new waiter says, I just, I can't do it. So the manager says, you're fired. And metaphor. You're literally the most replaceable person ever. So the manager says, Jose, come here. Yeah, you just heard that.

Right? Yeah. They don't have Jose's here. This is Australia. I love this. It's Jose's. I thought it was the waiter, not the busboy. This is Australia. I love this. It's Jose's. I thought it was the waiter, not the busboy. Oh, Tom.

What? He got promoted. They fired the last guy. Yeah, for not taking any fucking orders. I didn't know what I was here for. He says, Jose's done this because he's very experienced. Tell him what to do. Show him, Jose.

Jose walks up to the business owner and says, excuse me, can I take your order? They stop. They're doing mid-sentence and say, yeah, sure. We'd like this, this, this, and this, thank you.

And the new waiter says, wow, that was confrontational, but it worked. This is literally the waiter's first time he's ever been in a restaurant. Yeah. What a strange career choice.

Like, I have never been in one of these newfangled food ordering places. They'll never work. This will never catch on. It's like being on the main stage at a conference for the first time. All right, next clip. Next clip. Don't draw attention. Everything is going so well.

Go to Romans chapter 2, and let me show you an experienced waiter. The Apostle Paul. Apostle Paul was a sick waiter. I mean, that dude can carry plates up and down his arm. Never wrote anything down. He was bad at it until he had that moment, right? And then switched over. Firstly, he begins by being very confrontive and personal about sin.

He says, you think you're going to escape the judgment of God? You call out that's a hypocrite and you sin yourself? He says, God's going to render to every man according to his deeds. To them, the contentious and obey not the truth, tribulation and anguish and wrath. There's nothing seeker-friendly about his words. He doesn't put aside words like sin and judgment. No, he's personal and confrontational. It's a weird list of specials for the day. I don't know what to tip after. I never know what to tip after this.

All right, so that was Ray Comfort. We're going to play the next clip here. Wakefield is not just any researcher. His 1998 study on autism and childhood vaccines literally changed the way many parents think about vaccines. The study was based on just 12 children. That's right, 12 children. But many parents desperate for answers around the world embraced Wakefield's claim that he found a link between autism and the vaccine for measles, mumps, and rubella. We had some great talks today about vaccines. There was some really great stuff. This lady. This isn't one of them. This is not one of them. The lady we're going to play for you is someone who's an activist here in Australia. Her name's Meryl Dory. Oh, people know her. Good for you. That got something. Good for you. So she's being interviewed on a show.

We found this on YouTube. So she's being interviewed. So there's another voice there. But Meryl Dory is who we're going to be talking about. In Disneyland, they've got a measles outbreak. There are people that have been vaccinated that have caught the measles. There are alarm bells going that people that are unvaccinated are warned not to come along. So what's the lowdown, please?

Well, you know, it's hard not to imagine that this is a bit of a beat up because there have been possibly 89 cases of measles in Disneyland. We don't know how many of them are in the vaccinated. We're getting differing stories depending on who you listen to. And I don't know how many of these cases have actually been diagnosed by a laboratory or are they just diagnosed using clinical symptoms. And if so, then a lot of that can be wrong. Yeah, really. Doctors just using symptoms to figure out what's wrong with your life. I don't ever catch on. What is this wizardry you're doing? Yeah.

You seem to be covered in some sort of measles. I don't know what we should call this. Actually, I mean, like, it's really not funny, though. What she's doing there is trying to discredit the medical industry, not just measles, not just the measles vaccine, but also discredit the medical industry in general by saying that they can't even diagnose measles.

Well, this is that impossible standard shit that they do all the time where it's like it's convenient. When it's convenient for them, everything has to come from some kind of lab test or study or, you know, when it's inconvenient, like homeopathy is full of magic water that you got to bang against the table or whatever. We don't know how it works. But regardless, there have been no deaths. There's been no reason to panic. In fact, in the last 10 years in the United States, there have been a total of just under 1,600 cases of measles reported to the Centers for Disease Control.

And no deaths from any of those measles. And over the same time period, there have been over 80 people who died because of the measles vaccination. This is according to the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System. Yeah, 1,600 cases of measles. And then you're talking about zero deaths from that. But like, how many people were vaccinated in that time? Well, it's also, what I love is this idea that the only thing that counts is when people die, which means that nobody here has ever had a bad day, right? Nothing bad has ever happened to anybody alive because the only thing that they're counting as something worth noting is a death, right? So you're just like, yeah, how was your day? Well, I had my leg blown off,

but I didn't die. So it was pretty good. It's fine. Chalk that one on the wind column. At least I don't have the measles. Yeah. So if they're going to be concerned about anything, I would be a heck of a lot more concerned about why it is we're not hearing about these deaths after vaccination. You literally just mentioned it. Yeah. I don't know.

I guess we're hearing about it we're hearing about it when we heard it out loud why aren't we hearing about things that she's making up and telling us about i don't know when she makes it up i wish somebody i wish the government come come clean about these top secret deaths that everybody knows about it would be it would be nice it would be nice um that i am about the fact that some people have measles. I'm 56 years old and I can tell you that everybody I knew when I was growing up had measles and it was nothing. Not only was it nothing, but our parents wanted us to get it. When my older sisters got measles, I was put in the bedroom with them so that I would get it too. And I did. And it was a non-event.

It's a good way to parent, you know, like if you're going to take one kid to the ER for stitches, you might as well beat the other one up, too. Alright, everybody get in line and break your arm. Come on. I want to get this out of the way. And then you won't break an arm again. I love the idea that they're giving a kid a disease, like, ah, it's a

non-event. Well, yeah, unless they go blind or sterile or something, but anyway. Or die. Yeah, it's fine. Anyway, just go enjoy those diseases that you didn't have to get at all. And so on the one hand, the earlier measles outbreaks that she was talking about, those are rare and measles cases are rare, but they're only rare because they can hurt immunity because that's the only reason that they're actually rare. And it's because of these people that they wind up breaking that hurdle.

Well, they probably drank a lot of water from that first guy earlier, and that's why they've gone. They're fine. They're well hydrated, kids. You know, the MMR vaccine is the one they say includes the measles vaccination. Yeah, it's the M, the first M in MMR. It's the M, the first M in MMR. They say, paying attention to those guys with their acronyms for stuff. And hasn't that been perhaps the most suspect of all the vaccines?

I mean, a lot of people that say autism is being caused by vaccines seem to point to the MMR vaccine. Yes, there happens a stun. And any vaccine can lead to autism. It's not just the measles, mumps, rubella. But when the vaccine for MMR was introduced in the late 80s, all of a sudden we had a large increase in the rate of children who were diagnosed as being in the autistic spectrum. Before that, it was so rare that most people never would have known. It's a good look. I like it.

This is a good look. I hope I don't get autism through it. I feel like I got Alzheimer's, though, from the aluminum. Nah, I'm just kidding, folks. I don't give a shit about stuff. ...is autistic, and today, autism is very common. As a matter of fact, the latest estimate from the United States is that by 2025, one child and two will be autistic. So 50% of the children are estimated to be autistic by 2025. That's not how graphs work.

One and two. Yeah. One and two. You get twins. All right, which one of you? Pick, pick, pick. It's the weak one. It's always the little weak one that runs to the litter.

Good thing about that many autistic people, there's going to be a lot less accidents because they'll all be really good drivers. It's true. And we'll know what time Wapner's on. And if we need to count the toothpicks, boom, like that. We'll know exactly how many. There's an upside to everything.

So we have a vaccine that's been shown to not be as effective as it should have been. We have case after case after case where outbreaks occur in the fully vaccinated, when they even start in the fully vaccinated. And we have Disneyland, where 90 cases or less of measles were diagnosed, not one death. And there was a big call out there to take away any exemptions. They're trying to take away the religious exemptions in the United States. This vaccination is compulsory there. Yeah, that's what they're trying to do. We need more vaccinated people. Like religious exemptions

don't make any sense. Remember when Jesus was like, hey, you know, because I love you, you don't have smallpox anymore. No, that was vaccines I love you, you don't have smallpox anymore. No, that was vaccines. That's why we don't have smallpox. I forgot. I get real mixed up because religion has literally nothing to do with it. I like that they're talking about how it's compulsory. It sounds like 1940 Germany for anti-vaxxers. It's like, let me see your schedule. I know nothing. And to possibly even jail parents who have made an informed choice not to vaccinate. And may I add, many of these parents have a child or a family member who is already vaccine injured or was killed by vaccines. Yeah, there's some other things more likely to kill you than a vaccine, Cecil, which would include everything in Australia, everything here, everything.

You guys sent us extensive lists. Didn't say vaccines anywhere on there. They just walk up, they open the door to the hospital. It's just a giant sausage grinder

that they're walking through. It's like you go to get your jab and it's just a snake and just like... We vaccinated this Thai pan and that would just make it bite you.

In the name of Jesus, we speak that. That's the moment. Right there. So this gentleman is a famous Australian that moved to the United States and built a giant ark in Kentucky. Yeah. Thanks guys. It's amazing. It's out of business now. They're going to turn it into a water park. A water ark? It's right there. Again, religious people love to talk about dinosaurs. So this is Ken talking about dinosaurs.

We visited. We did. We drove down to Kentucky on purpose. Nobody goes to Kentucky. You leave Kentucky on purpose. You don't go. That thing is massive and filled with weird animals that don't exist. Yeah. The best one, I think, was the shell-less turtle. It was a turd animal. I mean, it was just like this. It looked like a living poo.

Yeah. And then they had a bunch of short necked giraffes and velociraptors right next to them. Their bird cage section was my favorite because they just had these rattan cages and inside of them all they had these speakers making bird sounds, but they didn't bother to like put stuffed birds in any of them. So you just walked by. It's like, I guess that's where they put a bird. I don't know. And then they had an extensive plaque, a plaque on the wall that talked about where they put all the poo. And they had like a ye olde broom by that plaque. And you're like, a broom? Yeah, a broom.

Really? I got a dog. I'm not using a broom. I got a zebra up in that fucking thing. All right. So this is Ken Ham. What really happened to the dinosaurs? Fucking died. Many people are perplexed by the topic of dinosaurs where did they come from when did

they live what happened to them you see when you dig up a dinosaur skeleton it doesn't come with a label attached saying hi i'm 65 million years old and this is what happened to me we have to interpret that skeleton in relation to the past. No, that's not how you do it. No. You know who's not perplexed? Paleontologists. You're right. They've got that one pretty much down.

They don't interpret the skeleton. They study it, and they fucking radiocarbon date it, and they look at the fucking strata of the rock that it's in, and they do other science-related things that I don't generally understand. They're like, I don't know. It looks old. Did you check the label? Is it?

What the fuck? You guys sent this guy to us. Yeah, he's got these weird, like, hair patches that are, like, right under his eyes. I don't know if you guys have seen this. Like, he can't grow a beard. It's like Australia, right on his... It's like Australia, right here.

And then there's the ocean. So where did dinosaurs come from? What happened to them? When did they live? I want to show you that when you take God and his word in the book of Genesis, that we can explain dinosaurs. And observational science actually confirms that explanation based upon the Bible. See, the Bible tells us that God made the land animals on day six of creation.

And who else was created on day six? Well, Adam and Eve. And how long ago was that? Well, yeah, the dates in the Bible are about 6,000 years. Really? I want to make fun of this, but four in ten Americans believe you're 10,000 years old. I'm just going to sit here quietly and wait for next week's mass shooting. Well, we're going to have one.

You're invited. I didn't know we got a week off. That's nice. Where did we schedule that? That's good. It's like seven in ten politicians that believe this shit, so that's nice. We're all going to die. All right.

So taking God and his word in Genesis, dinosaurs lived beside people about 6,000 years ago. And they were vegetarian to start with. Genesis chapter one, verse 29, tells us that all the animals were vegetarian. That's gross. Lions make a mean coleslaw. The T-Rex is trying to get the salad tongs with its little arm.

Rows and rows of six-inch dagger teeth. They're just like, these fucking carrots. From the side, trying to... Fuck. I wonder if they had the faux meat stuff back then. The soy meat? Yeah, like the soy meat. Where's Eli?

He would know. He doesn't eat food. But then Adam sinned. And because of sin, everything changed. The whole creation now groans because of sin. You like that creation? No. In fact, after the event of Noah's flood, God told Noah that now humans could eat meat, could eat animal flesh. But before that time, they're instructed only to be vegetarian.

Yeah, OK. So if anyone's counting at home, that's sin one. No sin vegetarianism. I get a steak because they ate an apple. I don't know how that math plays out, but they can eat all the bushels of apples they want. I got steak out of this thing. After Noah, that is when they started to eat meat. So beforehand, all those people who fucked themselves to death and got washed away were all vegetarians. No wonder why they did that. Their lives weren't worth anything anyway. I wouldn't make a fucking raft if I couldn't eat meat. I'd see it raining.

I'd be like, oh, thankfully. Drown me. So sometime after sin, obviously animals started changing their diets as well. There's just this snake daintily eating one grape after another to his friend. You know, Larry, these aren't doing it for me. There's like a lion. It's like, you know, hey, I'm just going to go ahead and eat an antelope. That's what I, it's so convenient that I happen to be built exactly like something that eats an antelope. If a grizzly bear goes on the South Beach diet, does that make it a gay bear? Oh, that's funny. Come on.

The Bible tells us that there was a global flood and two of every kind of land-bending, air-breathing animal went on board the boat that Noah built, Noah's Ark. Now, people often say, wait a minute, there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dinosaur kinds. No, there might be hundreds of dinosaur names and many of those names are given to different variations within a dinosaur kind

but when you actually work through it there's probably less than 50 dinosaur kinds the t-rex type kind the raptor type kind the sauropod type kind and so it goes on and that's that yeah the t-rex type kind that's just a t-rex it's specific one. He didn't even bother to open a book. When we really work through them, in other words, when we make this shit up off the top of our heads, then it's a whole thing. And the other thing to remember is that the average size of a dinosaur is only the size of a sheep or a German shepherd dog

or a small pony or something like that. Or an elephant or a zeppelin or loaf of bread, or a weed whacker. All of those are different shaped things that he named. The average size was one of three different shape sizes. Anyway, put them in a cage unit of some kind. What? You see, some of the dinosaurs did grow large, like the sauropods, but even they hatched from eggs and were once young adults, and so would not have been that large. Actually, there was plenty of room on board Noah's Ark for two of

every kind of the dinosaur kind. Does this feel a little like if there's scales on the field to play ball? Oh. Right? I mean, there's like... He just seems really interested in the youngsters. Is he Catholic? I don't... Is God Catholic? How does a T-Rex get to third base without long arms?

That's what I'm wondering. It's just... It's a stretch. Yes! Yes! And I'm sure that God chose those young adults that were... Religious people choose young adults all the time. ...the new world, populating the new world.

What happened to those land animals that didn't go on board the Earth? They were drowned? Many of them turned into fossils. The dinosaur fossils we find, most of them probably come from the time of the flood, over 4,300 years ago. And therefore, they're only thousands of years old, not millions of years old. They're thousands of years old. If you insist thousands is the only

option available. I had to die sometime in the last 6,000 years because that's all I'm allowing as an opportunity. What's crazy is that they actually disagree. Younger creationists, there's some that say it's under 10 and there's some that say it's 6. It's like, it's right in your fucking book. What, you can't read it?

Well, yeah, but they have to add all that shit to like extrapolate it and carry the four it's difficult it's this is tough shit those that came off the ark started to spread out over the earth and then because of changing conditions many animals have become extinct including the dinosaurs really for animals to become extinct there's new. We see it happening every year. It's almost like there's a process that selects certain animals. We should have a name. It's a natural sort of a thing. I mean, look, what a slap in the face to Noah. He's like swabbing all this dinosaur shit on the boat. I'm saving these fuckers. And like 20 minutes later, God's like, oh no, I changed my mind.

All those kinds are dead. Yeah, those are gone. Great. Thanks. We do witness a lot of extinctions. How many reefs you guys got down? Zero. I see that down there. Now, is there any evidence that's consistent with that explanation of dinosaurs?

No. Short answer, no. No. No. Made it up. Actually, there is lots of evidence consistent with that explanation of dinosaurs? No. No. Short answer, no. No. No. Made it up. Actually, there is lots of evidence consistent with that. We have dragon legends all over the Earth, just as we have flood legends. Flood legends attest to the fact there was a real flood.

Arthurian legends attest to the fact that there was a real Merlin. That's true. That's why I believe in magic. Yeah. Drop bear legends. I'm always calling out my wife. Real drop bears, right? Harry Potter legends. Dragon legends attest to the fact

there are real animals called dragons and the descriptions of those creatures in many instances speak to dinosaurs. And then there are cave paintings all over the Earth done by people hundreds of years ago who drew animals that they're familiar with. Some of those paintings look just like the dinosaurs. Those were terrible paintings, too.

That shit, you wouldn't even hang up on your fucking refrigerator if your kid drew it. Well, you'd hang it up, but you'd shame him for it later like a good parent would. You know? I hear good things about

Puff the Magic Dragon, though. That's like, that's a dragon I can get down with. And you know, there's even indication in the Bible of a dinosaur that lived beside a man after the flood. Go and read the book of Job, Job chapter 40, verse 15.

Behemoth, the largest land animal God made. The description fits something like a sauropod dinosaur living with Job after the flood. I want to see that version of Lassie, you know, the giant sauropod. Call it Nessie, you know. You know, there's vampire stories out there, too. Does that mean there's really blood sucking monsters other than my ex-wife? I mean, just like this. We've also found in our present world dinosaur bones with what appear to be red blood cells and soft tissue still in them, indicating they can't be millions of years old.

We thought this was bullshit. We're like, yeah, that's bullshit. It actually is true. They did find some with soft tissue. But again, this is one of those moments where they're choosing this thing that science has found and they're rejecting literally all of the rest of the stuff. And they're not listening to the scientists who found it.

Yeah. Because when we looked it up, the scientists who found it was incensed that young Earth creationists are using this. She's like, that's not what this means at all. You're stupid. You're a stupid person. She's furious about it, actually. And she's a Christian. All right. Last clip. We are running out of time. You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth. You can't handle the

truth. So we't handle the truth. So we brought an American with us. Now, this is a person by the name of Mark Taylor who's going to talk about some numerology in the Bible. Get out your calendars. Make it deep. You flew all over you with these five presidents. What came to you? And you've got an actual prophecy from them.

What came to you, my friend? Yeah, I'm not done with the prophecy yet, so the only thing I can release is what I believe the Lord tells me I can release right now at this point. The Lord's release schedule is very, very hush-hush. It's wonky, yeah. How are you not done with your prophecy

yet? Are you going to finish that prophecy or what? Oh, man, it's based on that prophecy. Yeah. Like, are you going to finish that prophecy or what? Oh, man. It's based on that prophecy. You know, I don't get a written prophecy about everything. I didn't get a written prophecy so much about the tribunals. This is something the Lord told me was coming. I don't know how to write. I'm sorry. Don't know what those squiggles are. Is that you? Yeah, I fucked up my mic. Oh, Jesus. And right now, this is what the Lord tells me is coming with these X5 presidents. And as I was looking at the picture, they were doing this Hurricane Harvey, was it relief effort or whatever it was.

They're trying to raise money for Hurricane Harvey. But we all know that's a bunch of lies. Except for the money they raised for Hurricane Harvey, which happened. And then they gave it to the— No, they were all just chipping in for Hillary's new email server. These guys care less about people. It's about their agenda. They disguised it as a relief effort for Hurricane Harvey victims.

And they go in there and they trash Donald Trump. Well, I've said this before. I'll say it again. The Bible says, do not touch my anointed, but especially my prophets. And these guys have now touched God's anointed Donald Trump. They use it as a platform to go under and attack. I don't want to think of Donald Trump anointed ever. Could you imagine being like putting oil on a chicken before you put it in the oven? It's like oiling oil. How does that even work? You can't even tell when it's done. Nobody wants to touch Donald Trump. Can you imagine the masseuse? They're just looking like, do I have to get in the folds? I'm going to need more gloves.

Like my gloves need gloves. Well, as I was looking at the picture, it wasn't that picture that I saw. It was the five presidents. The three younger ones were in the middle, and it was Bush 41 and Carter on the ends. Carter on both ends? That's a weird human centipede. Caliente. Weirder human centipede. The first one was already weird. And the Lord told me, he says, Mark, I want you to go back and I want you to count how many years total that these guys have in office. And it was 32 years because the two outside ones, the older ones, only had one term each. So it was 32 years because the two outside ones the older ones only had one term each so it was 32 years now he says look up the number 32 in the bible number 32 in the bible means

covenant yeah if you uh look in the glossary section or something like where in the index i don't where does it say that this is what does every number up to, wait, where's that stuck? Okay, what is the number? 9,000,000, what? Fuck, it seems exhausting. And he says, the covenant that these five presidents have had with that entity called bail, because bail is the strong man over America, is going to be broken. And then he said, two of these ex-presidents will be taken and three will be shaken. Yeah, well, two of them are 93 years old. It's like a baby. You shake them at the end of the life, the beginning of the life.

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah. One of them is like only being kept alive through aversional transfusions at this point. I'm going to have to get that number. Yeah. Hang on. I'm going to write that down. Give your problem. Two will be taken.

Two will be taken. In other words, God's going to remove two. And three will be shaken. Now, I want to explain that. That doesn't mean assassination. Please do. God's just going to take these guys home. Period. He's going to remove them. And it will be a sign for certain things. The other three will be shaken. And I believe that two of them will run risk of going to prison. And the third one will also be shaken due to having to testify or legal issues or whatever the case may be. Prophecy sounds weirdly party line.

This is a really specific prophecy. He should have gone back and gotten this one in writing. This doesn't make any sense. Now, I don't know if all three of those will go to prison, but I believe there's a very good possibility two of them, two out of the three, could face jail time because of what they've done. So, again, two will be taken, three will be shaken. Now, here's what I sense. I'm not prophesying this. Here's what I sense about the two that will be taken. Once the first one goes, the second one will not be far behind the first one.

That's just what I sense. They're 90 years old. They're going to die any moment. After the first one goes, it's impolite to go that much further. So, you know, like, come on. You can't time it exactly, but. All right. So we're almost out of time. We want to thank, first we want to thank the Skepticon. It has been amazing. You people have been great. Thank you so much. You guys have been great. Everybody who's running

this, it's been amazing. Tom and I, we normally do this show from a tiny little room. It's just me and my best friend talking for an hour. And we want to thank you so much for joining us today. tiny little room. It's just me and my best friend talking for an hour. And we want to thank you so much for joining us today. We are going to leave you, though, like we always do. Time is going to read the Skeptic's Creed. So I'm going to play. Thank you so much, Tom. Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno Babylon bullshit. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy, healing, water, downward spiral, brain deadpan, sales pitch, late nightures, detox, reflex, foot massage, death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides.

Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Thanks so much. Fuck it up. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to leave this out here. I'm full of shit.

I've got to get this Vegemite off my face. This shit stinks. Oh, God. It's a horror. We love you guys. Thank you. Thank you.