Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 390: Say Hello to my Little Friend

Episode Date: December 11, 2017

Stories covered in episode:  Extra:  Hello Fresh:    Use code cogdis30 Livestream: 

This show is brought to you by HelloFresh. For $30 off your first week of HelloFresh, visit HelloFresh.com and enter promo code COGDIS30. That's C-O-G-D-I-S 30. Hey, Cecil and Tom, this is James in Arkansas. It's been bugging me for a while, just what Cindy Jacobs sounds like. And, you know, I just couldn't quite pinpoint it.

But the other night, me and my wife, we were watching Poltergeist, and it suddenly occurred to me. It sounds like the psychic from that movie. You know, that woman? Anyway, I thought you guys noticed I had to Google it to make sure that it wasn't actually Cindy Jacobs playing that. Anyway, you guys have a good one. Glory hole.

Oh, my God, guys. A door on Donald Trump. You just gave me this image of Jeff Sessions crawling up inside and baking a bunch of cookies. I guess that's where all the hot air comes from. Glory hole. Hey, guys. It's Navy Dave. crawling up inside and baking a bunch of cookies. I guess that's where all the hot air comes from. Glory hole. Hey, guys. It's Navy Dave, formerly Desert Dave,

formerly of San Antonio, soon to be calling from Thailand. Long story there. I just wanted to touch base with you guys before I leave the country and let you know I'm really enjoying all your new stuff and stuff you're doing with the skating atheist crazy people. And I gave you guys some good old Texas whiskey at ReasonCon 3, and I've been waiting to hear you bash it on air and maybe drink it on your video,

and maybe drink it on your video, but I haven't seen it, so I can only assume you got drunk and drank it all at ReasonCon 3. So if I don't get a chance to call and give you shit, fuck you guys, and glory hole. Have a good one. Bye.

Hey, guys. You said the best place, the worst place to get shot is Chipotle. I think it's actually Olive Garden, because if you get shot at Olive Garden, people will find out that you actually went to Olive Garden. That would be the worst for me. Glory, y'all. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago again where you have a proper breakfast this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism

and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is no welcome at this is episode 390 of cognitive dissonance and before we really kind of launch into the show itself i gotta fucking spin your microphone around what's going on my headphones man they're headphones you ever get the left ear on the right ear the right ear on the left ear it just feels wrong it's like masturbating with the wrong hand. It feels like a stranger in the room. There is no wrong hand. Well, I guess the wrong hand is the dead girl. That's not wrong.

Why does it feel so right? Why won't she call the next day? Alright, so we do have to have a quick moment to talk to our patrons. Two seconds. This won't take terribly long. Patreon has decided to make some structural changes to the way that they charge processing fees. So in the past, processing fees came to us, the creator. We paid the processing fee and we got whatever's left over after Patreon takes their cut in the processing fee.

And then we get what's left over. Patreon has decided to instead charge you, the patron. We don't like that. We don't think that's fair. We don't think that's fair. That's $0.35 per post, basically. Yeah, because they don't charge you one transaction

fee for the whole month, even though they only charge your fucking credit card one time. Their plan so far to date, we don't know if it's going to change. Right. Just an hour. Their plan so far is to charge you for every post. Right. And we don't charge monthly.

We charge by the post. So we offer people to pledge per podcast. And so you would be charged this 35 cent fee per podcast. So it would wound up to be about between, because we sometimes do five episodes a month because there's four months a year, we do five episodes a month. And that would be-

Could be between $1.50 and $2.05. Yeah, so a little bit of money extra that you would have to pay Patreon for their processing fees. People are going to try to get around this because they think that Patreon is just sifting them for money. And to be honest, we ran the numbers earlier and Patreon was charging us a certain amount, but they're upping it. What did you say? By 600%?

Yeah. Depending on how they charge, it could be as much as 600%. Yeah. By turning it back onto the patrons, they're trying to up their income by 600%. So there's a way out. Yeah. And you can still support all the shows that you want to support, including Cognitive Dissonance. If you're, say, a dollar a month patron and you don't want to get charged this processing fee four times, simply change your patronage from $1 an episode to $4. Or $5.

Or whatever the dollar. You should up it. You should up it. Right. And $4. Or $5. Or whatever the dollar is. You should up it. You should up it. Right. And $7. You should up it because I just got news that I might be losing my job.

So you should up it. You should up it. Just keep with the upping, I guess, is the thing. You should up it. But yeah, so, and then just pay for one show a month. That way you only get,

and you can limit your shows. So increase the dollar value, decrease the number of shows. Decrease the number of shows, yeah. It's going to amount to the same out of your pocket. It amounts the same in our pocket and it does not unnecessarily

and unfairly benefit the folks over at Patreon. You can also, if you don't think a dollar extra a month bothers you, you can also just leave it alone. That's always a possibility. If there's a huge...

We hope that people don't leave Patreon for this since there is a quick fix to this all you have to do is just edit your patronage a little um and change it from you know like we said from one dollar to four dollars and an episode but then just limit it to being charged for only one episode a month and that's perfectly fine and you'll have access to all the same stuff you had before you You lose nothing. You'll lose nothing, and you'll still have the same amount of patronage. It might screw up the way in which we do a reward structure, which we'll probably be changing soon anyway.

So we'll see what Patreon does. We're hoping that what they do instead is just say, hey, everybody, it was a really stupid thing we said. What we're actually going to do is just charge you one processing fee like they charge us one process. They actually charge us less than one processing fee. We actually did the math again. We did the math again, but with the number of patrons we have and the number of process, the amount of processing fees, they would still be making over a hundred dollars more a month from us if they just charged you one processing fee a month per patron. So I don't know why they're thinking they want to up their

money by 600% when they could just up it by 25% or whatever. It seems to be built on a model that assumes a monthly rather than weekly donation cycle, I think. Yeah. That's my guess. Yeah. But it's a really obtuse thing for them to have done. Yeah. It's very tone deaf.

So there's an easy workaround. We hope we don't lose any patrons from this. We understand if you're frustrated. You know, if you want to contact us, you can send us an email. Yeah. Let us know your thoughts on this. But there's a pretty easy workaround. We hope we don't lose any patrons. And like I said, I might be losing my job.

So we hope we gain patrons. That would be good. You know, it'd be nice. Just in case I lose my job in six weeks. Which I might do. So anyway, moving on. Moving on to the first story. Let's try to be happy. Let's try to be happy, Tom.

From Reuters, it says Cecil is losing his job. Oh my God. Let's do be happy, Tom. From Reuters, it says Cecil is losing his job. Oh, my God. Let's do something else, Tom. This story is from right wing watch. It's not my fault. It's budget cuts, for Christ's sakes. It's not me. I'm a good worker.

Well, here. Damn it. I'm a good worker. Because I'm good enough and I'm smart enough. That guy got fired too. Like I said, I'm good enough. Alright, let's start some right-wing watch. Ted Brower.

He's a brower. What's up, brower? He's a brower. Ted Brower. Ted Broflake. Most of Congress has been compromised. No, it says comprised. I believe that's what it says. Compromised.

Nice typo. Right wing watch. Most of Congress has been compromised by involvement. I can't read it wrong. It's been comprised. I cannot read that wrong. I love that. That's the biggest thing on the page.

Right. Consist of or made up of. Comprised. Not compromised. By involvement in pedophilia and satanic sacrifice. So to summarize, this shit again. Yeah. Let's listen.

This guy, this doesn't get funny until later, but it does get pretty funny. We, the United States population, we've been duped. We've been duped through the Federal Reserve System. We've been duped through the income tax system. We've been duped by our politicians. We have put these politicians into power because we have given them control over us as far as writing our laws. Yeah, that's their job!

What are you... They're lawmakers. I have given the police control over making sure that people get arrested for crime. Man, those lawmakers are making laws all day. Turns out we have people in the government do things that they're in charge of.

And there's a snow removal guy who's in charge of the snow removal. Oh, we're giving up power to big snow. What? The fuck? That's Biggie Smalls. It's a different guy, Tom. He's an informer. It's a different guy, Tom. He's an informer. That's a different guy.

No, he's white. They're not all black, Tom. They all sound alike. Jesus Christ. He's taking care of us. They have, in in turn been compromised because of impropriety with money, with wire transfers, money transfers, etc.

Pedophilia, human sacrifice, satanic sacrifice, adultery. I have no, wait a minute, wait a minute. What does he have against wire transfers? Hold on a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on. What does he have against why he's lumping in wire transfers with pedophilia? How are you going to pay otherwise?

You can't just walk around with wads of cash. Someone's like, hey, man, I'll wire it to you. Whoa, what do you fuck, kids? Alcoholism or drug use. Over 50% of Congress, in my opinion, probably closer to 70% has been compromised or has been controlled in one way or the other. Not all of them, but a large percentage of them. Okay, yeah.

If alcohol is included, I kind of agree with him. Like alcohol, drug use, wire transfers. Wire transfers. And pedophilia. Yeah. And human sacrifice. Yeah. It's the weirdest list.

It's like a weird grocery list. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like when you put shit on the conveyor belt and you realize you've unintentionally bought something that tells a story

you don't want to tell. You know, it's like, I will not be fucking my dog later with this salami. I'm just going to use the peanut butter to have him lick something else.

Prole of the government to the military industrial complex to have him lick something else....control of the government to the military-industrial complex that Eisenhower warned us about. They have, in turn, taken this military- industrial complex, and they've given it over to the CIA. The CIA has given it over to the Sabbatian Kabbalists. What?

The Sabbatian Kabbalists? I didn't even know they existed. It's like, hey, man, you want this government? No, man, give it to the military industrial company. Hey, man, you want this government? No, give it to the CIA. If you're holding it when the music stops, it's yours. You've talked about and I've talked about so many times on the air,

and these are the Druids. That's actually true, though. The Druids? It's true. In ancient times what is this hundreds of years before the dawn of history why do i know this with an ancient race of people it's true though oh my god it's true, though.

Oh, my God. It's just true. I hope that they don't monetize our video or whatever. Oh, right. I did a little clip of that. That's fair use, motherfucker. Lenny from Squiggy from fucking... They'll be fine.

You'll be fine, Lenny. These are the ones that were taught the ancient forms of worship by the fallen angels. Yeah, no, they had to dance around the 18-inch Stonehenge. The little tiny, miniaturized Stonehenge. I watched that whole clip earlier, by the way. I laughed my ass off when they're dancing around that little Stonehenge. It's the very best.

God damn. Spinal tap. I forgot about that movie completely. I'm like, I recognize. I'm like, why does my brain know this before my brain knows this? The bad guys that run the planet and they in turn have given over their control to Lucifer to control the energy fields

around the planet. And they're the ones that are involved in doing this. Wait a minute. Who's they? I don't even know who the they's are. The pronouns really have changed a lot. Mainly because you're talking about a different thing every single moment of that sentence. don't even know who the they's are. Yeah, we're missing the pronouns. The pronouns really have changed a lot, mainly because you're talking about a different thing

every single moment of that sentence. Why is everybody giving away this power? Yeah. I mean, if you have the power of the planet, why are you just like, okay,

Lucifer? Like, is Lucifer a micromanager? Is that why you give it to him? Like a motherfucker, probably. It's just like looking

over your shoulder. Right? That guy, like, you're down in hell. You're like one of the demons. You're like, no, a pitchfork should be at a 26 and a half degree angle when it's in the anus. That guy, you're down in hell. You're one of the demons. He's like, no, a pitchfork should be at a 26 and a half degree angle

when it's in the anus. Jesus Christ, I hate my boss. This is hell. Just let me do my job, man. I will say, we landed five in the morning on the way back from Sydney. It was the fucking shittiest

plane ride I ever had back. It was so tight and cramped and gross and awful and the worst. And we get back and we land and we're standing in line and a bunch of people trying to cut in front of everybody else. And it's just a shitty, awful line

for customs to come back in the United States. And everybody's certainly in mean. And look at Sarah and like, if there's a hell, this is hell this is what hell is like this is the exact like you're tired cranky yeah everybody's angry everybody just got off everybody just got off the same flight there's 400 of you or whatever

right on that jumbo jet and you all hate each other in lax yeah transferring from international to domestic at lax is the dumbest fucking thing. You just leave your fucking luggage in a pile. Like you walk by and I was just like, yeah, I got to go to American. Like, just leave your luggage. I'm like, just here. Thankfully, we put it on some belt. But then we look around like, okay, what's the next step?

And there's literally no signs. There's no departure board anywhere. You just stare around blankly. Then you walk out the door, which you don't even know you have to do. You walk out the door. You're in, like, Terminal M. And then you have to go to, like, Terminal 4. So they changed the naming convention from letters to numbers.

You have to go outside, like, go around the building and do the fucking hokey pokey. Get yourself turned around. We had to ask people twice what the fuck to do because they don't have a, they can't evidently make signs. There must be a fucking law against proper fucking signage. It's also just a shitty airport.

Like we walked around and like, like at Air Oak hair, there's like all these places to wander around and get food. And there's like a bunch of sit down places there. There was one

and it was like a pizza place. We had to eat breakfast there. I'm just like all the pizza, I guess. And it's like ate a pizza for breakfast, which is better than the Australian bacon by a million. You know, that's a low bar. It's a low bar. But I was, it's so funny because I'm just sitting in there and I'm just like, and it's funny too, because we were sitting there for like 15 minutes before somebody finally wanders

over to our table. The place is packed to the gills. It was the worst. I fucking LAX can fucking light on it. I hope that fucking that fire that's out there. I don't even know where it is in California. California's very big. I hope that the

airport gets engulfed in that fire. The thing is, I don't actually hope that. Don't send me emails. It would be an improvement to the airport. The airport, people would still go to work and be like, well, we must be doing some renovations. Nice. Lost the wall.

Right? You see images of that fire though? Oh, that is insane. That is a fucking crazy. That's some Dante Inferno shit. That's some crazy shit. That is. Driving on the road

and you just see like an entire fucking mountainside on fire. The fire is like encroaching on the sides of the road. Unbelievable. That's fucking nuts. That's fucking nuts. That's fucking nuts. It's fucking nuts, but it happens every year

now. Thanks, Obama. Now, the concern, obviously, is if this isn't bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it's going to be spreading across the entire Fruited Plain and you're going to be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa,

and you're going to have a rainbow-colored King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you're going to have a rainbow colored wrapper for your Whopper. All right. This story is from LGBTQ Nation. Australian Senate passes marriage equality bill without any religious amendments. Which is great. Good. Which is great. This is awesome.

Well, we had a clip set up when we went down to Australia. We had a clip set up that was specifically going to be talking about this woman who had a real problem with gays getting married because they just had the plebiscite down there where they sent out all that and they did a poll and then they came back and then immediately once they got the value,

they got the message from the people down there that was like 60 some plus percent wanted gay marriage. They're just like, okay, I guess the people voted. Initially, a lot of people thought it was just a bullshit show. They didn't think there was going to be anything that came of it.

But really, it immediately came to fruition. Now, we had a clip down there that we were going to play. We didn't get to it. But it was a woman who was basically saying, what if they're going to try to take away our ability to say mom and dad because it'll be same-sex marriage or whatever.

And there's a bunch of religious exemptions that they wanted to throw into this law. And they wound up having none of them. I thought that was great. I thought that was great. So they, you know, the Australians really just right. They wanted to have the ability to discriminate, basically. So they wanted to carve out an ability to discriminate. One of them was shooting it right down.

They wanted to make sure that celebrants had exemptions. Right. Because they're super pissed they have to read from the book of Adam and Steve and they don't want to do that.

They're mad about that. I don't blame them. It's a hard book to find. I think the problem is that these celebrants, they don't know, they don't, since it's like two guys,

they're not sure where to look in the book of patriarchy on where one is supposed to obey. You know what I mean? Because there's the line in there like, will you obey? And it's like, wait, who obeys who?

Because there's no, they're both dudes. Right, it's confusing. Who owns who? Yeah, who's the owner in this transaction? And that confuses those priests. Who's the Tony Danza, right? Who's the boss? Who's the boss?

I'm singing the, confuses those priests. Who's the Tony Danza, right? Who's the boss? I watched that episode of who's the boss while I was down there. Well, their TV and their music is 20 years behind ours. I was like, I'm walking down the street. I'm listening to music. I'm like, this is from the nins. And there was no new songs. I never heard a single new song. And all the TV's like a hundred years ago. And I'm like, who's the boss? It takes a long time for the radio waves to curve around the bottom of the universe. Who's the boss? Oh, so bad too.

Oh, so bad. Hey, are you serious? Yeah, I watched an episode of Who's the Boss. I haven't seen Who's the Boss. Boss. Seriously, it's 20 years. It had the slutty milf. I don't know if you remember. The slutty milf. Her mom. Yeah, the grandma. She was a gilf. She was a boss. Boss. Seriously. Yeah. It had the slutty milf. I don't know if you remember

the slutty milf. Her mom. Yeah, the grandma. She was a gilf. She was a gilf. Fucking A. She was a gilf. Yeah.

And then it had Alyssa Milano. Right. Prepubescent Alyssa Milano. Yeah, like Teen Beat Hop. Yeah. Like Tiger Beat Hop. Exactly. Right.

And then they had the weird little bull hair kid. I don't know who that kid was. He's a fucking washer repairman now. And then Tony Danza. Also a washer repairman. Hey, I'm going to make a fucking dinner for you.

Hey, forget about it. Angela, why are you mad at me again, Angela? Fucking idiot. God, it's such a terrible show. You know, all those shows are the same show. Fucking Cheers was the same show in a bar, right? It's the same show in a bar right it's the same show in a bar hey hey hey angela diane whoa diane i'm fucking stupid i'm just a fucking stupid guy and i'm

sophisticated woman they're all the same fucking show they just changed the setting one's a bar one's a pedophile ring no that's the one that comes out from congress that's a different show they also wanted legal protections for people who think gay and lesbian relationships

are wrong that's some weird thought crime shit right there. Like, what are you just like, if they don't think it, do you just send, now they just send a big gay guy to run behind me like, think gayer!

Think gayer! I don't even know how you even enact that or enforce that. It's a bizarre thing to be like, we need to protect you from getting in trouble for your thoughts. We just want to make sure that you can't attack us for our thoughts. And everybody's like, we need to protect you from getting in trouble for your thoughts. We just want to make sure that you can't attack

us for our thoughts. And everybody's like, nobody cares what you think anyway. That's why we just outvoted you. What the fuck? I guess I feel like maybe if you're in the bigoted minority, keep your fucking mouth shut. You can hate it silently. Right. I hate a lot of things silently.

You do not. You're extremely vocal about the things you hate. I guess that's true. And even when you don't say anything, you can read that shit on your face, motherfucker. I guess that's true, too. Like a fucking neon sign of hate. I guess that's true. They also wanted to pull their kids out of class if they talked about same-sex unions. And it's not like they're giving the kid a piece of chalk and being like, okay, I want you to write 100 times on the chalkboard, I love the D.

You know what I mean? Like, talk about it how? Yeah. Like, the fact that it exists? Yeah. Just like, you know, sometimes boys like, boys, whoa, I don't want to learn a math now. What? What kind of fucking film strips do they show? Is it just some old-timey voice?

It's like, and now we observe the glory hole in its original element. What the fuck? Like, how much lesbian porn did you watch that you were allowed to watch, I should say, at school? At school? At school. Zero amounts. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because school wasn't that awesome. How awesome is school

in Australia? Is this happening down there? I'm kidding, right? I mean, it is down under. Teacher, can I go to the Pornhub room? You gotta check down under the butt to see find the clits down there. No, it's not. No. Where is it? You need your giant magnifying glass

and your fucking Sherlock hat. You fucking be like, look at, I will find it one day. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? It's Jesus. Fucking be like, look at, I will find it one day. Oh God. Yeah. Thanks man. This story, you found this story.

Fuck this story. This story is from Skeptic Review. Oklahoma preacher caught running house of prostitution. HIV warning issued as well. HIV warning was issued because the prostitute in question, I guess he just had one prostitution. Oh. HIV warning issued as well. HIV warning was issued because the prostitute in question, I guess he just had one prostitute? Yeah, if you just have one, if you have the choice of one at your brothel,

isn't it just a broth? Can I see the selection? You're looking at the menu like it's a little thin. I'll say she has HIV. You're just like, yeah, I'm going to flip over. But can you get those needles out of your arms? I just want you to.

It's a really distracting. I feel like if you go to a brothel and they have one prostitute, HIV is to be expected. I know, right? Right. Like, actually, the menu should just be which STD you get. The menu should just be like, oh, and we have a fine cocktail selection and it is cocktail. Or you get you high with this dirty needle.

Yeah, it was funny because this Oklahoma preacher, he's running a house of prostitution, like we said, with just one hooker. Okay, hold on. Look at that woman. Yeah, no. She looks exactly like the prostitute

that would be working for that guy. No. So there's this one part of the article that says that there wasn't any sign on the door. It just said open. It just said open. And now, admittedly, that's descriptive, right? It's descriptive.

But couldn't you at least put like a dick going into the O to let people know what's going on? You know what I mean? Like what asshole walks in there with his dry clean and is like, well, I guess I'll leave with a hand job. Who gets a surprise hand job? Surprise! How did that happen?

Who goes in? You get it when you put your dick in a box. That's what happens. Who goes into a store and a strip mall? Who goes into a store mall sister like a store in a strip mall who goes in to a store she's like I don't know I don't have any signage except for open it just like just open

it's not on the promenade it's not like it's not like a pedestrian only zone it's a strip mall this is seriously the worst cover business ever you don't have a cover on your cover business you just like just tell them we're open there's some woman in stirrups on a table You don't have a cover on your cover business. You just like, Oh,

just tell him we're open. There's some woman in stirrups on a table. Jesus. Where did I go? It's going on. It's a guy to college. Not even once. She would have HIV.

At least she'd know she had it. Well, that's the thing. She did know she had, she'd knowingly. Sure. Yeah. It's just like a Frisbee.

Who cares? I love this guy because he's a preacher, right? Yeah, he's a preacher. He's a preacher and a prophet. Yeah, prophet. Yeah, who is obviously trying to profit. He died at one point. He had a heart attack.

Oh, yeah, he died and came back. Died and had a heart attack. And he came back a white supremacist. He did? He did, so scroll down. No, he didn't go into the light. He went into the alt-right. All right, so yeah.

Well, you know, what he did is he noticed it was a white light. Yeah, Happen seems like the kind of place that has separate drinking fountains. You know what I mean? Like, it feels like it would, you know? Anyway. Well, what if you're racist? That's racist. That's where he went.

He's like, send for a drinking fountain. Score! He's like high-fiving his HIV-ridden wife. Yes! Yes! He gets to the pearly gates.

Do I get HIV by high-fiving? Is that how it transfers? The answer is like, well, generally no, but with her, yes. Yeah, because she's got fucking needles out of her arm. She's like a fucking HIV porcupine. She's like Pinhead or whatever. Anyway. So, like, this guy, his Facebook page is full of, like, terrible shit.

He's evidently, like, a part of two prison gangs, including like the Peckerwoods. So I like, I would imagine that your membership would only be allowed in prison. Like once you leave, it's like a country club, you know what I mean? Like you can't join unless you're in the country. Yeah. Hey, like did nobody check out their preacher? Like his Facebook page all the way down. It says support your local white girl.

It's a fucking Nazi. Was anybody surprised that he was also running a prostitution ring? Oh my God. Guess that. From prophet Hitler over there. Genuinely the best. God. One prostitute.

He's got a brothel and a strip mall with one prostitute. And no signs of a prostitute. When you walk in, normally buildings have that ding ding. It should just have a sad trombone when you walk in normally buildings have that that ding ding it should just have a sad trombone when you walk in it's like open the door did you see by the way that in Sydney prostitution is legal did you walk around and see any brothels perchance no

we were walking around and we just see like a red light above a door. And then there's like a thing, like a banner, like a banner, which is 99. We're on the street and we're like,

oh, that's the address. It's a red light. And Haley's like, I think that might be a brothel. And I'm like, ah, not a brothel. It's totally a brothel. They're totally legal.

And they have the best, funniest Google reviews ever. You look them up on Google. No shit. And they have like regular reviews like any reviews ever. You look them up on Google. No shit. And they have like regular reviews like any other business. So how was it? Not my favorite. Okay.

That's fair. That's fair. I mean, they were Australian. The vagina is upside down. I don't know. I've just never seen the Southern Hemisphere. I don't know. I don't know. I've just never seen the Southern Hemisphere. So I don't know. I don't know. I've got to use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by

the pussy. I can do anything. This you want. Grab them by the pussy. I can do anything. This story is from Think Progress. White evangelicals stand by Roy Moore. Shocking. Polls show candidates neck and neck. Okay. And they still are. I know. Jones has a lead. He grabbed that girl by the neck

actually. That's what he did. If he grabbed her by the neck, it wouldn't have been sexual assault. It would have just been regular assault. He didn't know. It wasn't that have been sexual assault. It would have just been a regular assault. I didn't know he it wasn't that it was sexual assault. It's sexual impropriety. Right. He's trying to date a four. Trying to date.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. So he didn't. So, I mean, like, let's be honest. It's not that bad. Right.

Oh, my God. Yeah. So it's amazing that this vote is still so close. Like, this is like the idea here that people are still supporting, but specifically white evangelical voters. And I mean, let's be real honest here. They claim those to be the party of values, but the only values are dollar signs. I mean, really, that's very true.

And this is a woman and they are not the party of women. They are not the party that believes women and they are not the party of women. They are not the party that believes women. And they're not the party for women. They are a party that is clearly made so that men stay in power. And they do not care about how women react, how women exist. And they don't. They genuinely don't. Look at how they want to treat women when it comes to abortion.

This is not new for them. So the fact that they don't give a fuck about what happens, whether or not somebody is has. And then there's a guy, another guy in Congress, another Republican who has been accused of sexual assault left and right. And he does. He's like, whatever. Don't care. Whatever. Still riding it out doesn't matter the president of the united states been accused by many women of sexual harassment and an all like a bunch of that stuff and it doesn't matter at all doesn't that nobody cares and nobody cared before yeah because it's not here the thing is it's not inconsistent with evangelicals right like you're just saying this is not inconsistent at all with their worldview their worldview worldview is entirely consistent with treating, like you said, treating women as property. And this is a power grab for the right. That's all it is. All the evangelicals do

is whatever their fucking preachers tell them to do. And their preachers want to maintain their tax breaks and their tax subsidies. That's what they're in it for. These guys aren't in it to teach everybody how to be good people. I don't give a fuck about that. They want tithing. They want tithing and the,

and the asses and seats. Yeah. That's all that they want. This is, this has nothing to do with morality and it's, it's so fucking, fucking obvious and apparent. Well,

what, what it's obvious when it's where it's obvious, Tom, is it's obvious in the fact that that shit is toxic in the other side of the aisle, right? It's toxic. It's toxic enough for every, like, look at what happened with Wiener immediately. Yeah. Underage girl. Sorry, buddy. You're gone. Yeah. There's another guy from, uh, from, uh, from Nevada. Uh, he's gone, uh, Ruben Kuhuan. I don't know if I'm saying his name right. he's gone.

Ruben Kuhuan, I don't know if I'm saying his name right. John Connors from Michigan, who was, I guess, an old time, long time Democrat for many, many years. He's gone. He's now retiring.

Al Franken, who a lot of people really liked, really enjoyed. He's walking away. Here's the thing. And I saw some lamentation about this. I saw some, you know, some Facebook lamentation about this.

And I just want to say something. Sometimes being moral is tough. You would live a life that is immoral if it was, if you, if you wanted to live the easiest life, it's, it's a hard thing to do to be moral. And sometimes it sucks, but you never compromise. You never just say, well, but we really like that guy. It's okay. If does it. It's not okay if he does it. It's not okay at all. And I love Dick Durbin. I think Dick Durbin is an awesome senator. He's a senator from Illinois.

He's been a senator for most of my, I think most of my life, most of my adult life, at least. For sure. He's been a senator. Scientifically literate. I always thought the guy was a stand-up awesome guy. If I found out tomorrow that that dude had some sexual impropriety in his background and people came forward and it was proven or he apologized for it like Franken did,

fuck you. Get the fuck out of here. You know how easy it is to not sexually assault somebody? You know how easy it is to not sexually harass somebody? It's fucking super easy. We've talked about this before. It's like the lowest fucking bar. Still, it's amazing how many people can't manage to crawl the fuck over the top of it. It's the lowest fucking bar. I, I, I totally agree with

you. It's like, if we don't have a zero tolerance for this kind of shit, then why bother? Why bother? Why bother pretending we care at all? And in a place that is the most where people are should be looking at you because you're the people who are the ones who decide what's legal. Right. You're the ones who make those decisions. So if you do something that's immoral, should we now then trust you on to do something to make something legal or not? Well, look, and this is this is a blatant issue where somebody has disrespect for half the fucking population. How can you represent a constituency when you don't respect half of them? Fucking great point. It's a perfect point.

Half the people in here don't give a fuck. You don't care. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Get the fuck. Get fucking. I know we're going to get email. I know there's going to be somebody out there be like, I love Al Franken. And you guys are wrong.

Get the fuck out of here. Take Al Franken with you. Fuck off with that shit. If you're a fucking, if you're some kind of shitty dude who's fucking out there fucking diddling with girls and stuff without their consent, get the fuck out of here because I don't need to talk to you. I don't need you around

me and I certainly don't need you fucking representing me because you don't. Well, there's that. The arguments that I see is like, well, you know, it's kind of an almost an ends justifies the means. It's worth it, right? The price we this is the price we pay. We maintain this guy. He's done so much good.

Are we going to throw away all that? Yeah, you throw it all away. Throw it away. You throw it all away. It's not my fucking problem. I'm willing to burn my house down a little bit to be a decent person. Are we supposed to? Are we supposed to be like, yeah, you know, we just couldn't find a guy who doesn't molest girls. Are we supposed to do that? The thing is, man, if we can't find somebody who doesn't do that, we have a larger issue to solve.

Right. I don't want to if I can't find somebody who's halfway fucking decent, who doesn't sexually harass people, then I don't give a fuck anymore about tax reform. I don't want to have that conversation. Absolutely. We have a problem that affects half the fucking population of this country. We're not addressing properly. And and you cannot. I contend you cannot just and don't use the argument that to quote like, well, look, the Republicans aren't letting people go.

I don't fucking care what they're, I'm not a Republican. I don't care. I'm not, you know, I like to not think of myself as a Democrat either. I like to think of myself as a moral person who is on the far left side of politics,

right? So I vote for people that are on the far left side of politics that, cause that's where I am. Those people happen to be the Democrats, but you know what? The fucking thing is, is you don't fucking represent me. If you're some, if like, like I don't want Trump to represent me because he's reprehensible and he's talking about how he just walks up to women and kisses them without their consent.

Like that's an awful person. It's a shitty, awful person. Is this somebody you could ever point to and be like, that guy's got my problem? Yeah, right. That the thing is, like, I feel like with with with your friends, you should be able to say any friend of Cecil's. I can say any friend of Cecil's is a friend of mine, right? Right. I would give any of your, if you said, Tom, this is so-and-so, I trust this person with my life. I'd be like, great, here's my house keys. Yeah.

You know, here you go. Yeah. Absolutely. Right. 100%, right? I'd do the same thing for you. Right. Because I trust.

Absolute. Right? So if you can't, I mean, a representative represents you. Yeah. And I'm supposed to say like, oh, that guy, I don't know, he doesn't have any respect for half the fucking population. Oh, fuck him. I guess, I guess he's got my proxy.

I guess that guy's like me. Here you go. This man right over here, you make decisions about how my life and the loved ones that I have function. Fuck the fuck off. And I did like Frank. I did too. I did like him.

I liked him a lot. I wanted to read his book. I wanted to buy his book and read his book. I saw him on TV and I was like, man, that guy, he seems fucking great. He seems really good. Well, he's not. Turns out he's not. Hello, Macbeth.

Hello, Webber. Hello, Webber. This is kind of old news, Tom, but we really should talk about this happened while we're on vacation. This is from CNBC White House. This is unbelievable. Yeah, the way it doesn't matter if anti-Muslim videos are real because the threat is real. videos are real because the threat is real. I kind of couldn't believe this. So this is in reference to the president. He tweeted out a handful, tweet out a handful, three videos,

which purported to show Muslims engaging in acts of pretty horrific violence. Sure. Against, you know, just random citizens. It's if they were true, they would be terrible. Right. However, none of the context of these videos supports what he's saying.

Not a single one. They're all debunked. And they were all tweeted out by they were tweeted out by this group called Britain First. And the first one is an Islamist mob pushes a teenage boy off the roof and beats him to death. That actually happens. The first video actually happened in Egypt

and it was the Muslim Brotherhood that did it. They threw somebody off a roof. There was a back and forth because of it and they put 500 people to death because of that. It said oh, more than 700 people who partook in the violence following this guy's removal were sentenced to death.

And this was one of those acts of violence that happened during the Muslim brotherhood. This other one is a Muslim destroys a statue of a Virgin Mary. And it actually says that in here, this happened, I think, in Syria. And it was after an attack from ISIS or something like that. And Muslims actually like the Virgin Mary. So like this guy doing it was, I don't even know what it was, but again,

it's happened somewhere else. It wasn't in Britain. And then this one here that happened supposedly happened in, in, uh, in the Netherlands, both these boys, even though one of them is,

you know, looks like a Muslim, you know, they're both from the Netherlands. They're boys, even though one of them is, you know, looks like a Muslim, you know, both from the Netherlands. They're both born and raised there. Yeah. The whole, the whole purpose of tweeting this was to foment a level of rage and outrage and hate.

Yeah. Against Muslims as a population group. Right. Right. And then when you dig into the context, it has nothing to do with really what the context that Trump tried to suggest was wrong. The suggestion

was, you know, that the suggestion was that this is like Muslim immigrants, right? Muslim immigrants are coming into the country and look at how violent and dangerous. Yeah, they're awful and dangerous. And this is why we need this Muslim ban. Right. And then when that's all, when the context of all of those videos is shown

not to support that, the response was sort of fucking unbelievable. The response. Was it unbelievable though? No. I mean, well, and here's why. It should be unbelievable. Here's why I don't think it's unbelievable, Tom. And it's because it's very close to what Christian conservatives say about the Bible, right?

You know, when they talk about, you know, they talk about these allegories that are in the Bible. Well, maybe the earth isn't 6,000 years old and maybe Noah and Isaac, but it's important anyway, right? There's this idea like, you know, I'm not telling you the truth. I'm not telling you what happened.

But you can read the truth behind the story. But you can read the truth behind the story. And that's, you know, that's how they live their life. But the thing is, I mean, obviously, the problem there is it's like you're asking to read the truth behind the story. What you're really asking people to do is to use this story to validate their already arrived at conclusion. Absolutely, their prejudices. It reinforced my prejudices for me. Right, exactly.

And we're in a place where you get something wrong. And instead of being like, oh, you know, I fucked up. I had bad information. I'm so sorry. Instead, it's you double down and just say, look, it doesn't matter. This idea that I can't I just can't get over it. This idea that the truth doesn't matter. I know I fail completely to understand how we live in a world where people say it out loud.

And they say it repeatedly over and over and over again. It used to be that the truth didn't matter, but we tried to hide that. I'm being serious. Yeah, right. It was a gentleman's agreement that we didn't care. We would lie to each other. I say it all the time at work, right?

I say this to people all the time at work, and I mean it. I tell people, have enough fucking respect for me to lie to me so that I get to believe it. Yeah. Right? If you're going to lie to me,

do it well enough that I get to believe it. If you don't, that's disrespectful as fuck, right? You don't get to believe it. Yeah. Right. If you're going to lie to me, do it well enough that I get to believe it. If you don't, that's disrespectful as fuck. Right. You don't get to do that. Yeah. I'll call your ass on that. Right. Yeah. This is that. Yeah. This is that they're not even lying to us. They disrespect you so much that they can tell you I lied to you and it doesn't matter. Yeah. And we still eat that shit and they don't care. We still eat that shit. I don't care one bit. You know, I was thinking about something this is a little off topic but you know with all this Russia stuff that's going on

and it's starting to they're starting to go after Trump's money now they're starting to subpoena different parts of his cash flow and talking to his son for eight hours he said I was talking to my dad so it's attorney client privilege it's fucking amazing. Cause there's an attorney in the room. Go fuck yourself. Anyway. One of the things that struck

me and it occurred to me this week, Trump, before he got elected was a conspiracy guy. He was a birther. He was a birther. He was somebody who thought a lot of different conspiracies. There was several conspiracies that Trump was like, yeah, it was all in on. He was not somebody who thought that conspiracies didn't happen. And when he came into office and what really struck me is when he said to call me like, hey, can't we just not do this? Can't we just not? I think he thought that's how it worked. I think he thought that conspiracies were how the government worked.

The government was constantly mired in conspiracy. And he just always thought, yeah, well, it's not going to be a big deal. I could totally get away with this Russia thing. We'd fake the moon landing. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. And he'll just,

all he'll do is he'll go to a guy and be like, come on. Because I'm the president. Because he thinks that the president has some magic power to wave his hand and conspiracies can happen. Just like he thought Barack Obama was born on the moon or whatever. And he was just like, yeah. He's like, oh, well, where's his birth certificate, huh?

And it's just, it's fucking, it's because he is the kind of guy who just thinks that that's how the presidency works. And that's how the presidency works and that's how the world works i mean i think he's in for a rude awakening yeah at least people close to him are so far there's been some it's getting pretty close it's getting closer it that it does feel very much like the the net is tightening doesn't it like this this is happening did you see him slurring the other day no and it is time for young and moderate voices all across the Middle East to claim for themselves a bright and beautiful future. So today, let us rededicate ourselves to a path of mutual understanding and respect. to a path of mutual understanding and respect.

Let us rethink old assumptions and open our hearts and minds to possible and possibilities. And finally, I ask the leaders of the region, political and religious, Israeli and Palestinian, Jewish and Christian and Muslim, to join us in the noble quest for lasting peace. Thank you. God bless you. God bless Israel. God bless the Palestinians and God bless

the United Church. Thank you very much. Holy shit. What happened? Doesn't he sound fucked up there? Oh my God. Doesn't he sound fucked up? Do my god doesn't he sound fucked up do they say what happened they said that he's going to go in for a screening after after the first year but he's been perfect health nobody's there all everybody's asking what the fuck happened and seriously it was like he had a stroke mid speech doesn't he sound like he's fucking stroking out he sounds like he's stroking out yeah he sounds like half and he sounded like he's fucking stroking out. He sounds like he's stroking out. Yeah, he sounds like half, and he sounded like he had labor breathing there. A lot.

Like, he did not sound good. No. He did not sound good at all. He sounded very much like a man who was struggling and losing the struggle. And it sounded upsetting. If that was,

like, I'm not kidding. Like, if that was like my dad on the phone, I'd be like, dude, you need to call 911, man. Something's not good. I'd be real, I would be crazy upset

if that was, I mean, if I was in the same room and that was my boss, I'd be like, I would stop him and be like, dude, you need to call 911, man. Something's not good. I'd be real. I'd be, I would be crazy upset if that was, I mean, if it was, if I was in the same room and that was my boss, I'd be like, I would stop him and be like, are you okay? We're just going to stop the speech. Right. Yeah. You're not okay. Yeah. We need to talk.

But yeah, that's not fucked up. Yeah. I just saw that last night. So that's crazy. Yeah. This is right wing watch. We really very rarely talk about Ann Coulter. Right. And this stuff, but this dovetails so well with the previous story.

We wanted to just play her one minute of talking. This is Ann Coulter talking about the discredited video that she thinks Trump got from her. What the left does, as with this video that are videos that Trump tweeted, which I've been tweeting up a storm on, that is not a discredited video. They've all been attacking me for it because Trump... It is a discredited video. False. It's discredited. The Netherlands government, the

embassy tweeted out that it's not true. It's discredited. Your context that you purport to show around the video does not support the narrative that you're suggesting. It's just discredited. Yeah. Your context that you purport to show around the video does not support the narrative that you're suggesting. It's just discredited. That's called...

It didn't happen. That's the nature of discrediting something. When the thing is not creditable. It's not creditable. You're not talking about like how many credits you have. Apparently, may have. You've seen it on my Twitter feed. I tweeted this tweet from... Well, who knows? That's how Twitter works. Yeah. That on my Twitter feed. I tweeted this tweet from, from,

um, well, who knows? It's it's that's how Twitter works. Yeah. Yeah. That's how it works. It's a fucking anonymous hearsay.

Who cares? I love that. It's like, I don't know. I got it from somebody, but it's probably true. That's how well I vetted it. That's how Twitter works.

Yeah. Right. Fucking what the fuck? Like suddenly we're like, oh, okay, I guess we'll fucking just, we just don't care if it's true or not.

Cause it was on Twitter. But that's, you know, the thing is that like, oh, okay, I guess we'll fucking just, we just don't care if it's true or not because it was on Twitter. You know, the thing is that like she's right. That's how Twitter works. Yeah. But that's not how responsible people behave. Exactly. That's how Twitter works. Yep.

That's part of what makes Twitter shitty. That makes it shitty that the president uses Twitter. Right. Yeah. That's shitty. Yeah. That's no good. That's not a benefit. Right. That's a fucking Yeah. That's no good. That's not a, it's not a benefit.

That's a fucking bug. It's not a feature. It's like saying like, well, my house smells. Well, you're walking around with shit on your shoes. Well,

that's how shit works. Well, take your fucking shoes off and don't walk around the house with shit on your shoes. Asshole. Don't you try to control me. Video. But they're very upset that it's a group called Britain First,

which is apparently hateful in and of itself. No, it's not hateful in and of itself. Their ideology that they openly espouse is Islamophobic as hell. Which is crazy because what she's trying to say is, look, they just don't like the name. No. No. No.

They just look past the name and they say, well, what a bunch of shit. Right. Yeah, that's all a bag of assholes. It shows

what seems to be clearly a Middle Eastern boy beating up a white, very, very white blonde boy in this very, very white. He's not just white.

He's very white. He's the kind of white that drinks from a different. So let's not mix these two up. I like that she's like, look, I watched the video and I can tell they're racist from the video. And I'm scared of brown people. You should be too. And if the kid is a Muslim, it's one of those homegrown.

It's again, it's one of those homegrown attacks. We saw this happen in a couple of places where they immediately blame it on immigrants. And then we're talking about some horrific attacks have been blamed on immigrants. And instead it's these homegrown terrorists, these homegrown activists. One, you can't look at somebody and see that they're like,

you can look and make some assumptions, but like that video, yeah, he's middle Eastern. Probably, probably you can't even be sure of that. That doesn't even mean he's fucking Muslim. Yeah. But he's plenty of people from the mid East that aren't Muslim. But he's from there. He's Middle Eastern. Probably. Probably. You can't even be sure of that. That doesn't even mean he's fucking Muslim. Yeah, but he's...

Plenty of people from the Mideast that aren't Muslim. But he's from there. He's homegrown. He's organic. Right. That's why I'm pro-GMO. And not the president's GMO, which is get Muslims out. That's a different GMO.

The problem is now they're all free-range. They're free-range Muslims. We got to look out for them. Running by a la Akbar. The Netherlands and the blonde Dutch boy is on crutches. So I tweeted out at the video. Now that they're all saying it's been discredited, it's been discredited. Although he does beat the shit out of it.

I mean, did you see the video? I didn't see the video. He beats the shit out of that kid on crutches. It's stupid. You're just like watching a video. You're like, video? It beats the shit out of that kid on crutches. It's stupid. You're just watching a video and you're like, oh great, some kid beat up another kid on crutches. And there's assholes filming it. Clearly, it's not just

one person who wants to see this kid beat up because if you were anybody, you're immediately like, oh my god, well stop beating up a kid on crutches. What's wrong with you? But instead, they're like, it's got to be two people who want to see this kid beat up.

Hold my phone. I'm going to beat up this kid. I want to beat this kid up. The other thing is, even if it was a Muslim kid beating up a non-Muslim kid, whatever. A blonde kid. A white kid, Tom. A white kid. The whitest kid. The whitest fucking powder kid.

Fucking powder. Everybody beat powder up anyway. Well, that's the thing is like, you have no idea why I beat him up, right? Kids get bullied all the time. There's no context. You have no idea. Like, you got in fights when you were in school. I never checked to see what's up. I don't know, I beat up a Catholic or like whatever.

Like, come the fuck on. You never get any context from any of these bully videos either. Right. Is this in particular? You don't know what the other kid said to you. You don't know how many times the one kid was picking on the other kid. All you see is the moment the video starts till the moment the video ends. This kid.

I mean, clearly you shouldn't be beating up handicapped kids. You shouldn't do that anyway. Maybe he's just a garden garden run of the mill anyway. Maybe he's just a garden run-of-the-mill bully. Maybe he's just a shitty kid. He's not like, I'm going to beat you up for all. He's just like, I'm going to beat you up because I'm an asshole. That's what I mean. He could just be a guy who beats people up.

There's plenty of those people. There's plenty of those people. I emailed a Dutch reporter back today and said, what are the names of the two boys in the video? He has no idea. He shows me a link to an article. All it says about the attacker is that he is from

some gobbledygook name of a town in the Netherlands. Gobbledygook name. She's right, though. She's fucking right. She's fucking right. She's still such an asshole. I know she's an asshole, but she's right. They won't tell us where he's born.

They won't tell us his name. They won't tell us his ethnicity, but they're just going to go around screaming discredited, discredited. But that's not true because the Dutch embassy came out and said, no, he's from here and he went through our juvenile program because of that. Like we arrested him. Like we arrested

him. He's from here. They're like telling like they're like, here's all the things. Here's all the things. You don't get to know his name because he's a minor. You don't get to fucking know his name. And again, like, unless you know what motivated the beating, it literally doesn't make any difference. It doesn't matter anyway. You have no idea

that dude could be like, don't look at my girlfriend. Like, it could be some fucking high school shit. Exactly. So, Tom, we want to take a second to talk about our sponsor, HelloFresh. I use HelloFresh at home, love HelloFresh, been using it for many months now since they became a sponsor of the

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Not having to worry about meal planning and grocery shopping and preparation. Just being able to make a nice meal at home and enjoy that meal and know that it's a high quality, high ingredients meal. And they've got nutritionists that are involved in the selection of their ingredients and the preparation of their dishes. It's a great option. It really is a good option. I really enjoy it. And I love the variety of food that you get. And you get to choose your food too, which is another thing that some places

don't offer the ability. Some of these home delivery services don't offer the ability for you to choose your meals and you can choose which kind of foods you want. So if you want to get HelloFresh, you can get $30 off your first week of HelloFresh. All you do is visit HelloFresh.com and enter the promo code COGDIS30. That's C-O-G-D-I-S-30. Get $30 off your first week. This story is from The Guardian. How to catch wind turbine syndrome by hearing about it and then worrying. It's a great bitchy article.

It is so bitchy. It's so great. This is pretty much what it sounds like. It's a bitchy article. It is so bitchy. It's so great. This is pretty much what it sounds like. So if anyone's not familiar,

wind turbine syndrome is a made-up syndrome claimed by idiots. It's so much better than that. Tom, they have a name for this. It's called the nocebo effect. Yes. The nocebo effect, I'm going to read directly from the article, is the evil twin sibling of the healing placebo effect.

It is documented in a vast research literature. When some people are exposed to frightening information about agents or exposures expectancy effects, just as powerful as placebo effects can operate to make people feel sick or worry or anxiety. Yep. And this is true. I know.

Cause I experienced this very recently. You did. I did. Tell me about it. So I was in, on my way to Milford Sound and there's a hole that goes through a mountain,

a hole, just a hole blown in a mountain. Sure. And it's a, you know, a couple miles long or whatever. It's a one lane hole through a mountain that they've blown in this mountain

that they had drilled or whatever they got. Sure. All right. So you're in the hole. And I'm driving through it with the, with the, you know, the whole bus full of people were just driving through it. And I thought to myself quickly, I was like, you know, this is some people might get a little claustrophobic in this moment. And I started feeling claustrophobic. Oh, you gave yourself a little touch. I did. I started,

I started like my heart started beating a little faster. I felt like I couldn't breathe. And so what I did immediately was I put my headphones in and I just forgot about it. I started, I started like my heart started beating a little faster. I felt like I couldn't breathe. And so what I did immediately was I put my headphones in and I just forgot about it. I was like, I'm just going to forget about it. And I was fine within two or three seconds. Sure. But initially I gave myself a little heart race because all I did was think, you know,

somebody might be uncomfortable here. You know, there might be some people who go through this and feel a little uncomfortable because I've never been claustrophobic in my life. And the very next, maybe two days later, I went in a cave system and I was fine. Yeah. But I was, for that moment.

Oh, that's interesting. I gave myself a little touch of anxiety. Right. By thinking, oh, someone may, in this situation, feel a touch of anxiety. And I gave, I fucking noceboed myself. Take that, you. Fucking A. I'm stupid enough to give myself anxiety. Jesus.

I'm a mess, for Christ's sakes. You don't need more anxiety, my friend. I don't. I feel like you're- I'm fucking pretty high strung already. You're good at the moment. I'm pretty high strung. Yeah, you're good at the moment.

So the wind turbine thing is exactly that, right? Yeah. Like, there's people who think that the wind turbines cause everything from like lung cancer to like shortness of breath. Shortness of breath. Shortness of breath. Like what are they spinning so fast? Just like.

Those are the Koreans. It's like it's a massive Korean panda. I can't turn it off. It has its own off switch at night. So it shuts off in the middle of the night. You're chopping up all the oxygen into smaller oxygen pieces. There's another part of this, too, it says. And then in 2011, this woman from this foundation told an Adelaide court that the turbines can make people's lips vibrate from 10 kilometers away.

That has to be really, really uncomfortable, depending on what panties you're wearing. You know what I away. That has to be really, really uncomfortable depending on what panties you're wearing. That's really uncomfortable. I wonder if they go up there, like you get a wedgie. What do they call it? A wedgie. If they go up there, I don't know what color the camel toe.

I would say it's the laziest oral sex. I was just like, here comes the bone, honey. Here comes the bone, honey Vibrate at what speed? Have you ever been near a wind turbine that goes slow as fuck? That's fucking amazing Make your lips vibrate Tom, Make your lips vibrate. Make your lips vibrate, Tom.

Make your lips vibrate from 10 kilometers away. Over six miles. You're like, what the fuck? What's happening to my What are these other fuckwits? What are these other fuckwits?

It's like it can make you sick even when it's turned off. Did you read that part? I did. It's so bad. She's like, the wind turbines are so bad. They can make you sick even Even when they're just statues. But in fairness, though, even when you weren't around your ex-wife, you're still sick. You want answers?

I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This story is from Right Wing Watch. This is Robert David Steele. Hillary Clinton was going to legalize bestiality and pedophilia. Bestiality, the very best of the realities.

All right, so this is David Henry Jenkins or whatever his name is. Whatever, Robert Steele. I was close. Hollywood has been run by Zionists from day one. And the Zionists also ran the Matrix 1 and 2. I'll have you know. I almost forgot about that movie. You should forget about number two.

I'll tell you what, number two. Three is just as bad, Tom. I know you don't believe it, but it is. It is. It just is. You don't make a fucking mech with no armor in the front. It's not all in the back. It's stupid. It's a fucking shooty thing that's coming at you. The second

Matrix movie is the most worst movie. No, it's not. It is the worst movie of all time. It's not, though. That third movie is worse than that. I would rather watch a two hours Wendy's commercial. It's just somebody pouring a Frosty for two hours. It's like, brrr.

It's just a giant cup. And then it's like, brrr. Where's the beef? I would watch two hours of that. For two hours. I'd watch that Pornhub channel. Are you kidding me? Dude drops his pants and she's like

where's the piece of all the glory holes I don't know that we can continue here we go okay inclusive of Walt Disney was designed to destroy American values that's fair no it's fair that's fair there's a it's fair. That's fair.

All right. There's a wonderful 15 minute tape that summarizes all Shirley Temple movies as pedophilia code. Okay. Why? Wait, why do you need a code to be a pedophile? Wait, is it like, is it like the Manchurian candidate when you see it? You're just like, fuck, now I'm fucking turned on by little girls. All the pedophiles get together at some sort of convention or something?

Yeah, what do you need a code for? If you're a pedophile and you like Shirley Temple, you're just going to jerk off to that, right? Like, I don't need your permission, do I? Right. You know what the code is for? It's for Shirley Temple. Blink twice if the producer's raping you. You go back and you look at every Shirley Temple movie.

It is essentially soft porn for pedophiles. It's the softest possible porn. And also, here's the thing. Pretty much any little kid is soft porn for pedophiles. Right. Right? The fucking JC Penicadillac was soft porn for me. So, and not for kids because I was, I liked older women.

I still do. I look at the mature section. Gills, where's the beef? Let's move away from this line of questioning. Where's the beef? I like to think that that woman is shaming me. And there's a marvelous 15 minute video that's been done,

which is at Phi Beta Iota. If you look up Shirley Temple, that extracts all of the critical code word points in Shirley Temple movies and makes it absolutely crystal clear that Shirley Temple was essentially the poster girl for pedophiles for her entire career. They are essentially. There's just a Shirley Temple. She's just like dressed like like that Rosie, the worker or whatever. And all it says is, you can do me on the bottom. Rosie the riveter

or whatever. You order a Shirley Temple and you're like, tastes like vagina. It's weird. I'd like to order the code red. Oh, it's Shirley Temple. It's not a code red yet. Not yet. This is the worst show we've ever done.

You gotta let it age a few years. This is the worst show we've ever done. It's not even close. Oh, God. They have to tell her like, okay, you're going to be on the next pedophile promotional video. Anyway, congratulations.

Okay, so you're an actor. Look happy. Nobody's going to want to jerk off to you unless you're smiling. I mean, obvious. No, actually, look sad. They like that better.

Here, I'll get some mascara. Is there any way you can look kidnapped from a third world country? Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Are you serious? Is there any way you can look kidnapped from a third world country. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Are you serious? Is there any way you could look

kidnapped? What the fuck is wrong with you? It has in it a number of very specific occurrences which have been summarized in a wonderful 15 minute video. This 15 minute video must be fucking amazing. Sounds like he wanked into it a lot though.

Jesus Christ. How much do you get paid every time? So just so you know, it's a 15 minute video must be fucking amazing. Sounds like he wanked it to it a lot though. Jesus Christ. How much do you get paid every time? So just so you know, it's a 15 minute video. God damn. Who's going to watch 15 minutes of some dickhead jabbering on about code words in a fucking Shirley Temple movie. I look at an internet video that's more than three minutes long and I don't skip to the end.

I'm like, do they have this in a compilation? I want the little person one in a compilation. Do you have that? Montage. Yeah. It's playing the facts of life music in the background as things slowly fade in and out.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take it in the background. This thing's slowly fading out. You take the good, you take the bad, you take it in the butt, and there you have it. Ah! Oh, God. Oh, it's late, guys. It's fucking late.

God, it's fucking midnight, and we're both jealous. I haven't slept in like 14 weeks. I haven't been sleeping. It's a gate now. A Walt Disney character. Millions and millions of views and YouTube is not censoring these.

YouTube is censoring me, but it's not censoring these. You sound mad, bro. When I say YouTube is censoring me, they're demonetizing me. They've also deleted some of my videos, but they're now starting to realize that Bitchute.com is cleaning them out.

No. No. YouTube is just fine. What's it called again? Bitshoot.com. Really hurting YouTube. Bitshoot. Yeah, that fucking household name of bitshoot.com. Hey, man, do you have the bitshoot app on your phone? I can't wait to go to the

bitshoot party later. What? Yeah, the bit shoot app, right? Just like searching the app store. And I was like, no, not bit shoot. And YouTube could be on the verge of self-destruction if it keeps going on this current path. On by Google,

they'll be just fine forever. Yeah, fucking Google Plus is still around, everybody. Google Plus still exists. There's fucking three users to Google Plus. We're going to hear from all three of them on this show. But there's three Google Plus users, and it still exists. Google can take a gurgillion dollars in those weird Google glasses.

Google ejaculates money on those fucking Google glasses. Like a fucking, like fucking glasses fucking cum shot. There's fucking coins bouncing off them. They don't get bitcoins. From the bit shoot. It's from the bit shoot. It's just come right out. Going back to Hollywood.

We have senior founding Zionists in Hollywood saying our objective is to eliminate all American values. That's what they're saying. That's what they're doing. The senior Zionists. They have their senior Zionist meeting. Like, hey, give me a bagel with a schmear. You come home from work and you're like so excited. Honey, honey, great news.

I made the cut. I'm now a senior Zionist. Look, I got a new business card. I'm an executive vice president Zionist. I get to park at a special spot. What does that mean? I got better stock options. I don't know.

I get to destroy. I get to pick one American value and destroy it. I get to destroy it. And then I get to add to my 401k. I think I'm going to pick baseball. And we have a senator who has exposed a memorandum from Loretta Lynch.

Had Hillary Clinton become president, they were going to legalize bestiality and pedophilia. I don't think they're federally illegal. I think they're illegal on a state level.

Federally illegal? Like you get the feds kicking your door down. I'm just fucking a goat. What? Just got back from New Zealand. It's the thing they do down there. FBI, put down the hamsters. Fuck you, pig.

Come find them. Come find them. Come find them in me. Say hello to my little friend. What is happening over there tonight? My little friend. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

This is the worst show I've ever done. Oh, it's so terrible. Oh, should we keep going? I don't know what we're even going to say next. I don't know. So we haven't read a lot of patrons in a while, so we want to thank a lot of patrons here. We want to thank Drew, Daniel, Marissa,

Marissa and Ari, Samantha, Devin, Daniel, NotCleverDerek, Angela, Suzanne, Jared, I'm not reading that, FHVJRX, that's as far as I'm going. Paul, Marie-Pierre, Mattman, Mike, Oliver, H V J R X. That's as far as I'm going. Paul Marie, Pierre, Matt, man,

Mike, Oliver, Nakia, Michelle, Sean, Razia, Amy, Charles,

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Erica, Dave, Corey, the abortionator, Corey again, Mary, Nix, David, the audience, Lee, Converse, Umbria, Barry, Sir Privy Winks, what the fuck Johnson, Virginia, Elizabeth, Skeptic Tim, Leslie, Debra, I Hate Being Awake, and David. Thanks so much for your generous donations. Remember that if you want to become a patron,

you can go to patreon.com slash dissonance potty. You can go to our website and you can find the link to become a patron to our show. We would love new patrons. But also, if you want to change your patronage, make sure to go there and select, like we said, select one time a month so that they're not charging you

a bajillion dollars in fees. And if you up your patronage, that is amazing to... You should probably just do that anyway. ...keep that same level... You should just do that anyway. ...or higher level. Help Cecil out.

All I'm doing is saying, just help me out, yours. You should help Cecil. We all like Cecil. So, we got a bunch of email while we're gone. We're going to try to burn through as much as we can. We got a message from Bart. And Bart says,

the crazy thing about the heartbeat bill is that heart muscle cells can beat in a cell culture. That's amazing. That's something I had no idea about. That's amazing. But isn't that fucked up? Like that we're willing to legislate on that? Got a great message from Preston.

I love this. Preston said to me, he told me how to eat cereal. This is how I can help control myself. This is one of those self-control help things. Oh, yes. This is very effective. This is effective self-control around cereal for me. So what you got to do, he says, the trick is to fill up your bowl with milk first.

That is your allowance of milk. Now you can refill the cereal as many times it takes until you run out of the milk. And so he said, depending on the severity of your addiction, you may want to only buy half a pint container of milk

so you can't go into the fridge and get more. Then it's just staring at you. Now you're just angry. The thing is, he doesn't specify the size of the bowl. No. I get it.

I would immediately be like, I got a giant-ass mixing bowl. Salad bowl. It's a salad bowl. It's a fucking huge-ass giant salad. Yeah. Yeah.

Put a half a gallon of milk in that thing and a box of cereal. So, Amrit sent in this fucking amazing video that had me laughing till I was crying. Tom didn't think it was as funny as I did. It was really funny. It's a donkey

singing along with a violin. Fucking loved it. I loved it so much. It's going to be on this week's show notes. It's episode 390. We got an image from Bryce and Bryce was like, I didn't know Gary and Gary is our mannequin in this studio. He's like, I didn't know Gary had kids and wow, there's some fucked up

looking mannequins here. We're going to put an image on this week's show notes. What is that mannequin for? What is that selling? It's glory hole training. We got a message from Ian, and Ian asks us, he said, I'd like to hear your suggestion on what law would have stopped the mass shooting in Texas. Then please

explain how mass shootings are worse than shootings that occur in major cities, most of which have the strictest gun laws in the country. That's actually not true. I know that that's one of those things that they love to say about Chicago, that is the strictest gun laws in the country. That's just not true anymore. They've struck down all the gun laws in Chicago because they ruled them unconstitutional. You can carry a gun concealed on the CTA in Chicago. So that is an old tire line, tired line that lots of people like to throw out that this, the strictest gun laws in the country and look at all the crime they have.

They have crime and gun, gun deaths here in Chicago because of gangs. Right. And because of the ease of getting guns. That's why those, that's why that exists. And you were asking what laws would have stopped the mass shooting in Texas. Tom,

you came up with a couple right off the top of your head. No, we could. I mean, if you want to be if you want to go with the nuclear options, outlaw guns. Yeah, that's a way to stop it. Sure. Outlaw the manufacture and sale of ammunition. That's one that would have done it. You know, you know, Cecil, you were talking like you could you could outlaw semi-automatic

weapons. Yeah, you could just have like bolt action weapons and and single shot weapons and things like that. That certainly makes it much, much harder. Automatic weapons. Yeah, you could just have like bolt action weapons and single shot weapons and things like that. That certainly makes it much, much harder. Yeah. You know, to the larger point of what makes mass shootings worse than shootings occurs, no one is saying that.

It's not our stuff. Yeah. It's not. I don't think that they're worse. I talk about it all the time. I say constantly that, you know, 20 or 30 people die here a month and it's more than that.

And it's not, and nobody cares. Nobody pays attention to it. Now, there's not as much attention paid to it because it's dribs and drabs instead of all at once, but people should be paying attention to it and people should be changing. I think that there's plenty of reasons why guns are causing a lot of deaths in our country.

And I also think that there's reasons why the police shoot people more in our country than anywhere else. And it's because of guns, because of the existence and the possibility of someone having a gun that the police officers are always on this, you know, to use a, I guess a pun, a hair trigger. You know what I mean?

They constantly are always, I mean, you know, there's, I watched a video today and this is an old video of a guy. There's a police officer pulls up, says, Hey, I want to see your identification. The guy is standing outside his car with his arms up and he goes, okay. And he turns to reach in to get his ammunition and get shot. Or not his ammunition, his identification. He gets shot. He gets shot several times.

And as he's getting shot, he's on his knees holding his hands in the air away from his car because he got shot. And he immediately ran away from his car and he's on his knees. He's like, you told me to get my ID. You told me to get my ID. He's still getting shot. Are you kidding? He's still getting shot. So, kidding? He's still getting shot. So, you know what I mean? So, like, there's a reason

I don't know if he died or not, but I know he got shot. But here's the thing. There's a reason why we do that. There's a reason why all these people die here and it's because of the ubiquity of guns. It's because of the ability to get guns. You know, we came from Australia and I had

several conversations with a lot of people that said that, yeah, we do have guns here, but they're very strictly controlled. Yeah, we don't. They're not just you just can't. You just can't walk in and buy a gun at a store. Right. They're very, very strictly controlled. They have very strict measurements when it comes to guns. I don't I wouldn't care if we went to the to the Australian model.

That wouldn't bother me at all. And I wouldn't care if we went to the Great Britain model Australian model, that wouldn't bother me at all. And I wouldn't care if we went to the great Britain model where they're just like, can't have them or whatever. I don't. And again, I don't know what to what extent you can and can't have them. Cause I know they hunt there, but I don't know to what extent. The Japanese model can't have, you know, like, yeah, I have five guns that can have them all. You just have them all tomorrow. So yeah. And I'm all tomorrow. Yeah. So, yeah. So that's our,

that's sort of a long winded way of answering your question. This is interesting. Mike says, you know, he understands your frustration, Tom, about the holistic medications in the hospital, but he says he wonders if it's similar to parents wanting their kids to drink at home because they at least know what's going to happen to them and they'll be in the safe spot.

So while they are getting chemo, they're also getting like fucking sage burnt around them or whatever. And maybe that, you know, at least they can supervise the garbage. You know what I mean? And that's an interesting point. I don't know that I still don't agree with, you know, hospitals doing fucking, you know, fucking Reiki and shit. Right. Because it lends a level of... Yeah, I just think you're taking something credible and you're adding it to something which is not credible. And to be honest, I mean, that's not good either. Letting your kids drink in your house is not a good thing. That whole argument, it's like,

well, I let my kids drink in my house. It's like, well, it's a bad culture. They do it other places. Right. Because the thing is, it's not like they're just drinking at your house. Now they're drinking also at your house. So Danielle says that, I mentioned a dog that imitates pigs that I'm not sure if it just had throat cancer.

And Danielle says that there was a pig that imitated dogs. There was a wild boar piglet that they came across and then came a family pet. And then there was dogs that it was put in with and it would just bark at the dogs. I think that's hilarious. I love that. So we played at the beginning of the show, uh, a message from Matt MacArthur, uh, who does a podcast called ice coffee. And, uh, and he mentioned that one of the reasons why he started it was because us and he sent us some pictures. I don't want to post these without Matt's permission, but it's him and fucking Antarctica, Tom. This is my dream come true.

My goal for this show is to have our voices played on every continent. Antarctica is so absurd of an idea and the idea... He's wearing a Cogdish shirt in Antarctica. In Antarctica. It's a great photo. How money is that? It's a great photo. It's the Ark shirt and he's wearing it Cog Dish shirt in Antarctica. In Antarctica. It's a great photo. How money is that?

It's a great photo. It's the Ark shirt and he's wearing it. And he's got... Actually, I can post this because it's not showing his face. His face is covered up. So I'm going to post this. Hopefully, he doesn't get mad at me. It's him wearing an Ark shirt, opening up his jacket in the snow.

He's probably dead from doing that. Yeah, he's fucking... He got eaten by John Carpenter's thing. The thing, right? That's awesome. Thanks for listening, Matt. He's been a fan for a long time. So thanks for listening.

We got a bunch of messages about Tom's comment about computing power and being able to pick out whether or not that we can figure out the weather just like on a 30-day basis based on this.

And a lot of people said that chaos theory won't allow that because of just so many different variables that are involved in determining the weather and how the weather works. So a bunch of people sent that in, said chaos theory sort of blows that out of the water. So it's not something that...

I'll just take your word on that. I don't know. And also just transfer the analogy to something else. Just transfer it not something that... I'll just take your word on that. I don't know. And also just transfer the analogy to something else. Just transfer it to something that works for us and then tell us what that is and email us back. And that was my point. And that was Tom's point. As I often say, the thing that I meant to

say, that's what I said. That's what I meant. All right. Chad sent this in. Chad is disgusting and from North Dakota. Chad, stop listening. You're gross. Chad, you are gross. So he says, talking about eating food straight from a can,

he said, imagine for a moment opening a can of tuna, adding a splash of pickle juice, shredding the chunks up and stirring the pickly goodness and let it absorb into the fish. Then adding a second dosing of juice of the pickle. Finally diving into the ecstasy of the next 18 seconds. You are a monster, sir. An absolute monster.

Chad, never leave North Dakota. Nobody wants you. Nobody but North Dakota wants you. Oh, God. We got an image this week. I'm not even going to say what it is. It has to do with egg. Oh, God. We got an image this week. Oh. I'm not even going to say what it is. It has to do with eggnog, though.

Oh. Maybe the foulest version of eggnog. It could be the foulest thing. This is from M, and he sent this in, or she sent this in, so we'll put a post,

we'll put an image on this week's show notes. Disgusting. This one is from Sif, and Sif says, the flesh-eating robots the preacher was talking about could double as abortion robots with no cleanup or waste.

I guess that's true. I'm still hungry. Couldn't you have let it go a little longer? I am a woomba. A woomba! I am a Wumba. A Wumba. Shows off the rails. All right.

Okay. So Aaron and a bunch of other people say, Uncle Cecil, can we please, please, please, pretty please have another call to prayer before Christmas? Santa's asking for a long black cock. Santa gets, it's in his stocking every year. Yes, you can send in your calls to prayer before Christmas. Santa's asking for a long black cock. Santa gets, it's in his stocking every year. Yes, you can send in your calls to prayer. I will only play them until the end of the year.

So send them, do not send them a day before the end of the year. Send them now and I will play them until the end of the year. So I will play a selected few of them every single episode.

No, because people send in a million of them. I'm only going to play like three or four every episode. No, because people send in a million of them. I'm only going to play like three or four every episode. And people send us shitty emails. They're like, stop playing the phone call prayer. And that's exactly what they say in the email, by the way. And that's how it's written. I'm just showing you

the tone in which it's written. But that's what they do. I am very angry. So here's the thing. Send in your best calls to prayer. We will play two or three an episode until the end of the year. And then I'm not playing any until June. So get your calls to prayer. Get them in.

Stop laughing at me, Tom. I'm mad. Why are you mad? I'm always mad. This is our show. I'm always mad. Oh, when we were on stage, we mentioned a crazy vaccine lady

who talked about the vaccine adverts events reporting system. And it was something that you were going to bring up, but you didn't. We just skipped over it. That's not a real thing. Like, it's just like, or it is. It is a real thing,

but it doesn't necessarily relate. The adverse events don't necessarily have to relate to the vaccine in any way. You could break your arm and be like, it happened after the vaccine. And as long as it happened within a certain time period following the vaccine, it could be counted in the vaccine

adverse events fucking advent calendar. I got a flu vaccine and I got my wife pregnant. That's adverse. I want that included. And then I want it not included. And then I want a womb. All right.

So this is our first call to prayer submission. This is from slow. Better watch out. Better not cry. Better not cry. Better not cry. That's a perfect one. 15 seconds long. Guys, remember, keep them under 20 to 30 seconds. You guys send me a minute long

when I'm not playing it, okay? I'm mad about it. This is our thing. I know it is, but I'm still mad and I can be mad. We want to say it. This is our thing. I know it is, but I'm still mad, and I can be mad. We want to say hi to a couple people, Kristen and Jenny, who just found our podcast. Jenny said she went back and

listened to everything from episode one. Kristen just found very recently, so we want to welcome you guys aboard. Welcome everybody who's listening to our show aboard. Tell your friends that you don't mind losing about it and tell them to become patrons and tell them to become patrons

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we were able to extend that trip through the patronage. We were able to extend that trip. We also just made a very large donation, a couple thousand dollars, two modest needs, helped David Smalley raise, he raised, I think, over $30,000. $7,000

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So that wound up turning out really great for modest needs. That's almost a third of what he raised. For modest needs, which is a fucking amazing charity. So we thank everybody for listening. We're going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed.

Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi-alternative acupunctuating, pressurized

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