Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 391: Alexa...

Episode Date: December 18, 2017

Stories covered in episode:  Talking Heads video:

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almost any item, a free sex swing, and free shipping. Hey Tom, AC Silt is Josh from Cali. I'm sitting here listening to episode 390 and you sitting there talking about not watching it or watching

a two hour long movie of pouring a fucking frosty. I would sit there for fucking ever. Fuck yes, that'd be entertaining. Be like, what the fuck? How do you get that big ass cup? And then fucking trying to watch this motherfucker carry this big ass motherfucking frosty

out of a Wendy's. That would be so motherfucking entertaining. So, Lord of the Holes, keep the ass coming. Hi, Cecil and Tom. This is Esme, and I wasn't going to call in

about this whole things in brine and vinegar flavored things and how Cecil can't stand pickles. I'm so sorry, Cecil, that your taste buds were burned in some sort of chemical accident. But you're so wrong. Pickles are so delicious. And like, pickled beets are good.

Just pretty much pickle any vegetable and it's better. But then you have to, I wasn't going to call in. I wasn't going to call in to say that because it's a personal thing. I understand you don't, your taste buds were horribly disfigured or something,

or, you know, just injured. But then you had to follow it up with freaking pumpkin beer. You probably like pumpkin spice coffee. You're wrong. That's disgusting. You're better than that. Anyway, Lori Hall, love you guys. Be advised that this show is not for children,

the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news makes it big or makes us mad. It's skeptical. It's political. And there is no welcome at this is episode 391. And see, so I gotta, I gotta say thank you for zooming the screen into blind people mode.

I appreciate that. I was, I was telling Cecil story earlier that I have been using a bad prescription of glasses for the last year and i was concerned that my vision was failing you did however get those glasses free with a bowl of soup so that guy was from a hobo he was dead he was dead and i took his glasses and his soup so i was telling Cecil's story that I got, I got, I went to a bad optometrist, like one of those like in the

strip mall guys. He basically just held open his coat and he's like, want to buy some glasses? I don't know, the guy at the Walgreens, like he said he was an optometrist. I don't know. A Walgreens is more qualified. Right? The guy I went to. You went to the guy standing there trying to fish fucking change out of the

fountain. That's the guy. Suddenly you have better coverage than I do or whatever. Hello, Mr. Sbarro. Can you tell me if I need glasses? You know,

I robbed the wrong corpse. I guess that's what I'm saying. I'll cover my eye. It's a S B. A. Oh guess that's what I'm saying. I'll cover my eye. It's a S-B-A-R-R-O. That's New York style. It'll never work. That's disgusting. That genuinely is.

Actually, that Sbarro pizza is a nightmare. That is a nightmare. There's a reason it's only in the food court. It's New York style pizza. It's horrible. It is. I mean, it's would you like me to heat this up for you that's what i don't understand it's like well i made this

tuesday i bet it's still good if i throw it in the do you have any pizza it's just been around for a while i don't want you to make me i'm not important I still remember like when we were when we first met Eli he took us to John's I think it was in New York was it John's? yeah something like that yeah and like it's like it's like got that like really like

traditional pizza parlor kind of thing writing on the walls and like the straight back super duper uncomfortable booths everybody's carved their name into it right and it's like, oh, this place is a goddamn dump. I bet the food

will be good. I don't understand that train of thought. People will tell you that all the time. Like, oh, you know, the best food is in restaurants covered in hobo blood. That's that show, though, that that guy Fiatty or whatever does, Fioretti or whatever. He's like, let's go to the worst

least hygienic places in America. Let's go to a place with fly strips. He's like, no, I don't want to go to a place with fly strips hanging over my table. I think Anthony Bourdain had it to say, Kitchen Confidentialist is like, look, go to the bathroom but the bathroom's not clean. Imagine the kitchen.

The bathroom is filthy. He's like, bathrooms are easy to clean. Kitchens? Way hard to clean. It's true but like there's like this whole like myth like oh the best indian food is when you go to the indian restaurant and there's like you know it smells like a dumpster fire outside basically turn your ass into fireworks at that point you're like shooting things out that are different colors red yellow browns maybe but you've heard that before right You're like shooting things out that are different colors. Red, yellow, browns maybe. But you've heard that before, right? It's like, yeah, right?

If you get brown, that was the starter, right? You ate a lot of rice. When your fucking toilet looks like a kaleidoscope threw up in it. Somebody melt a candle in here? I'm going to take a quick unexpected shower. There was a lot of blowback.

Unexpected shower. It's from Ars Technica. Russian sites call HIV a myth. Western conspiracy. Oh, wait. And here's the kicker. An epidemic is now looming. That's weird. Oh, I wonder if there's any causation. Well, they don't ever do that with

anything else. It's always, why is it HIV? Why is HIV this? That's the question I was going to ask. I think it's because AIDS is a syndrome, right? Right. And HIV is a virus. And the idea. And HIV is a virus. And the idea is that AIDS is less defined. So syndromes are basically just like a set of symptoms or what have you.

So I think the idea is that it's less defined that HIV will... HIV is detectable. AIDS is not detectable. You detect the HIV, right? AIDS is the side effect of the HIV. Right. So I think there are people that are like, yeah, HIV just doesn't do that.

Like it's just, it just so happens that there's a 100% chance that if you have AIDS, you also test positive for HIV and that that is always fucking the case. I don't, I don't know why people even would want to fight this fight. You know, like the HIV truthers

are fucking lunatics. Yeah, and it's interesting too because like at this point, they are, the problem is that there's all this misinformation, so people aren't going through the normal protections. But if they're Russians, how much protections do you have to go through if they're going to pee on you?

You know what I mean? Like, how much protections do you need to go through? I thought you pe pee on you? You know what I mean? Like how much protections do you need to go through? I thought you peed on them if you were the Russians. Can you get it from like getting a little pee in your mouth? Is that a... I'm asking for a friend. Eli Bosnick is the friend. No, but from shaking hands, you can.

But only with Jews. Well, how else would you get it? No, you wouldn't get it. Oh, nobody would shake a hand with a Jew. This is not... I don't know why that's happening. I don't know why that's happening. So there's this... It's crazy because it's almost like

if you spend all this time with misinformation, maybe the misinformation sometimes bites you in the ass. Maybe. You know what I mean? You start your own conference. Maybe. Oh, that was myth information. I'm sorry.

Different thing. I got mixed up. But what, you know, they spend all this time with all these fake news things that they send to the U.S., like all these fake things, maybe some of that rubs off, like when you stare into misinformation long enough. It stares into you. It stares into you. That was pretty deep. That was like abysmal.

Oh, yes. Closing the window. That was... Says it must be male and female. It must be opposite of one another everything in the universe testifies against the sodomites and against the sodomite gospel and against the sodomite bible all right this is from the washington post how is my daughter a pervert alabama i probably didn't inflect that the same way he inflected that. Actually, let's play the inflection game.

Scroll up, scroll up, scroll up. Okay. All right. How is my daughter a pervert? How's my daughter a pervert? You added punctuation. How is my daughter a pervert? You added punctuation there. It's the inflection game.

It is. How is my daughter a pervert? How? Is my daughter a pervert? How is my daughter a pervert? You keep going. I could, I could do this all day. You're killing it. Alabama.

Dad's played, spoken rebuke of Roy Moore strikes a nerve. So if anyone has forgotten already, Roy Moore is the guy who is not going to be senator in Alabama, but will be consigned to the dustbin of racist pedophilia history. Shitty history. I will say, though, this guy, he doesn't when he's talking, he doesn't say pervert. He says prevert. When he said he says it so many times.

says prevert. He said he says it so many times. Prevert. And I'm just like, is a prevert somebody who could have told us about Al Franken ahead of time? Is that what a prevert is? It's like,

they could have told us about Garrison Keillor. They could have been like, you know. You know what's really, what I really want to point out with in this story specifically is that this woman, so this guy, he's saying, how is my daughter a pervert?

He's basically saying, Roy Moore is calling all gay people perverts. Right. And he's saying they're perverted. And he talks about how his daughter killed herself because she was bullied and she was picked on and we all get caught up in the are they going to make a cake are they not going to make a cake stuff and sometimes we forget that there are some real casualties real human beings lives who are gone because everybody around them said they were wrong everybody around them said they were they were there was something wrong them said they were, they were,

there was something wrong with them. There was something wrong with them. Yeah. In some way they were deviant. They were not, they were not normal. And that caused them to be, you know,

depressed enough to do something to hurt themselves. Like that's, it's, it's, it's amazing to me that, you know, like people don't hear a story like this and this isn't a fucking isolated case by any no no no it's any stretch of the imagination this is not an isolated case this guy's daughter killed herself that is not a thing that doesn't happen a lot right and so but we forget we just we just always seem to forget like like, yeah, I mean, you know, what if they don't bake the cake?

Well, what if they do bake the cake? Well, what if we just all just said, we don't care if people do this and we stop demonizing people for being it. Yeah. Well, even this guy, even this guy who's video went viral, um, he admits he's like, he said some terrible shit to his own daughter, his own daughter. Yeah. You know, I think, you know think this is one of those things where

you have to ask the question, how many times do we have to humanize this? We've been trying to humanize this for how long? It's that advice. You come out of the closet because it's going to be somebody that you know. Somebody that you know. And all of that. It doesn't matter until it's close

to you. Well, this is somebody that you know. Sure. And all of that. It doesn't matter until it's close to you, right? Well, this is a guy who lost his daughter. Yeah. And in part was one of the people that bullied his own daughter by his own admission. He said he sat by while his church bullied his daughter. Right. Even though he was, I think he was, it sounds like he was sort of coming up on the other end of it at that point and saying, oh, you know, I accept her, but maybe my church doesn't.

And they were the ones who were saying shit. When you wonder for him, like how much social pressure was he under? Yeah. As a, you know, he's not a young man. Like, you know, how much social pressure was this guy under to sort of conform to the rules of the society that he lived in? His church and, you know, his neighbors and what have you. Sure.

You know, that's, I mean, let's not pretend that that's not a significant factor in how people behave, whether it's right or wrong. I'm not, I don't, I don't even care. Social pressures are a significant factor in how we behave. They influence us. They even influence how we treat the people that we love sometimes, whether they should or shouldn't, they just do. And like, again, like, I just feel like these stories, how many do we need to hear before we all just decide, like, I care about people more. I just care about people like more than I care about being right about something that doesn't matter. That doesn't affect my life because it doesn't affect these fucking people's lives.

Doesn't affect the church, the people at his church's life. This is it. I'm standing on the very spot where many Christians believe the world will come to an end. It's called Megiddo. And it's the place that the book of Revelation says Jesus Christ will come down to, end the world, and save the people who believe in him. Now, when Revelations was written, only God had the capacity to end the world. But now man does too.

Because unfortunately, before man figured out how to be rational or peaceful, he figured out nuclear weapons and how to pollute on a catastrophic scale. And if it's one thing I hate more than prophecy, it's self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh, God, this is from Vox. This is why evangelicals love Trump's Israel policy. Now, here's what's particularly distressing about just this headline. The word love is right next to the word Trump. That's gross. That's just gross.

Nobody should love Trump. Nobody. Nobody should love Trump. Nobody has. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah, his approval rating is the worst approval rating

since they've started gathering approval ratings. Since the word approval was next to the word rating. And that was like in the depression. Like it's, it's, it's, it's atrocious. So the nuts and bolts of the story here is,

you know, the evangelicals, they believe in that sort of biblical literalism, but more than that. And in particular, they have a belief in the revelation and they have a belief in Armageddon. Yeah. And, you know, one of their core beliefs is that a series of preconditions has to occur before, you know, Jesus can come back and give everybody snuggle love or whatever the

fuck he's going to do. And they're real fucking anxious for that shit. So they really want to bring about the end of the world. They think the end times are literally happening right now. The formation of Israel was really like the first major harbinger

of the real modern end times that they've been talking about constantly being in for 2,000 years. And they're like, they're excited for this. There's a talking about constantly being in for 2000 years. Yeah. Right. Um, and they're, they're like, they're excited for this.

There's a blood lust involved here. Cecil, there is a blood lust and a, and a, like a, a, like a pathological desire to see the world burn that is attached to this shit.

Sure. That's fucking creepy. Yeah. It's terrifying. And one of the things is that like, that's, it's not just the end of the world stuff in the sense like you know it's scary that they might like fucking think that a nuke is how the rapture happens right they might be like oh yeah well that's how you know because they could all of this stuff is all metaphor so they can fucking

make this metaphor fit whatever they want and however they want. But there's also some weird shit. Don't you remember a while back when they're like, we got to breed a cow that does this thing so it can breed the cows and have the red heifers in the bowls. Do you remember that shit? There was like a story about that. I think it was on This American Life or something where they're like, yeah, we're trying to breed a cow that can go over there.

Special Armageddon cow. Yeah, it's an Armageddon cow. Exactly. They want to breed a special Armageddon cow. Because they think that that's going to herald in the end of the world. In the name of Jesus, we speak that. Hookah, hookah, hookah, hookah, chaka. Hookah, hookah, hookah, chaka. I'm hooked on a feeling. I'm high on believing. This story is from Religion News Service.

Trump's recognition of Jerusalem excites apocalyptic fervor. And there's a nice picture of one of those boob castles on there. What is that exactly? It's a nice picture of one of those boob castles. What is that exactly? It's a mosque, I think. I don't know. The Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem. Maybe it's a Jew church. Is that what they call those?

I don't know. I call it a boob castle. That looks like a titty. Look at that thing. Have you ever seen, you've seen those guys though that wear hats like that. Those like priests. They're just like. Get like fucking four stations.

What I love about this is they talk about Paula White, Trump's spiritual advisor. Oh my God, I know. It's 2017. Like that's like having an official

White House Bigfoot yodeler. You know what I mean? We're just like, yeah, I know. We don't have one. Fucking you're like crazy guys that's like having an official White House Bigfoot yodeler you know what I mean we're just like yeah I know you know if we don't have one fucking you're like crazy guys that's on the force like no I just called like six Bigfoots they're on their way like that guy you're gonna show up and eat all your beef jerky let's just like fuck

get the fuck out of here it's like having a unicorn breeder at the fucking White House I mean seriously man it's 2017. A spiritual advisor? Why not have a fucking tarot card expert? Yeah, but it's all it is is like a pandering advisor. That's all it is. Like, okay,

I need to pander to the dipshits. What fucking come into the kingdom bullshit should I fucking utter out of my fucking mouth at the end of this policy? It's just, it's a policy speech and then it's you know, God bless America and God bless the world. God bless, you know, whatever else they wrote on this fucking teleprompter.

It's just fucking so annoying because it's like spiritual advisor. You're like, yeah, well, next week he's going to be like, you know what? I spent $3.2 trillion on these magic beans. These are the best beans. My spiritual advisor advised me to sell. I don't know.

Yeah. And it also quotes John Hagee in here. Oh my God, that fucking guy. And he's talking about, like, John Hagee is one of these guys. I can't think of a single thing that I could ever agree with that guy.

If that guy was like, you know what, air is cool. I'd be like, can somebody just asphyxiate me? Just fucking choke me out. I don't want it anymore. Can he jerk off while he does it? Just to get, I know what? Air is cool. I'd be like, can somebody just asphyxiate me? I just want to, just fucking choke me out. I don't want it anymore. Can you jerk off while he does it just to get, I mean. I don't know. Don't do it in excess. The religious right that I was part of is fundamentally anti-American.

They hate this country. They wrap themselves in the flag, but they hate America as it is. This is stories from the Friendly Atheist blog. This is Dave, coach. Doc coach. Not a coach. It's okay if Roy Moore lies if it advances the kingdom of God.

But it won't. Because Roy Moore lost. Because he's a loser. Which is what losers do. I heard somebody say the other day this is Judge Roy Moore today. I'm kind of heading that way, okay? I want to scream on Facebook.

Screaming won't help you on Facebook. No. You can literally scream at Facebook all day unless you type it. It's not going to do anything for you. I would argue that even most of the type screaming people do on Facebook doesn't really do anything, right?

How many Facebook arguments have ever ended with, you made a series of valid points and you've changed my mind. I agree with you, sir. Upon careful consideration. I do scream on Facebook. I want to scream more on Facebook. When I hear

people say, well, Judge Moore is not worthy of the office if he's lying about what he did. It's not that he's not worthy of the office if he's lying about what he did. He wouldn't be worthy of the office if he did what he did. You're cool with that?

That statement to me says that they're cool with what he did. Yeah, it's it. That statement to me says that they're cool with what he did. Yeah, it's just a lying that they find trouble. They're worried about the lying, but they're not worried about the pedophilia. Right? Well, I guess that's true. I mean, isn't that churches?

Right? It's just like, look, this is standard practice. Just don't lie about it. It's like, it's diddle club. The first rule of diddle club. Don't lie. Don't lie about second rule of diddle club is don't get caught. I want to grab them and I want to slap them upside the stinking head.

Stinking head. Because what is happening in the background on this thing with the crunching? I don't know. I thought that was you over there. That's not you. No. Judge Moore is trying to infiltrate an ungodly. What's going on?

Do you see all this shit? Hold on, guys. So, like, he's streaming his fucking YouTube and his computer. It's like throwing this all over. Would you like to mute Judge Roy Moore? Would you like to mute Judge Roy Moore? And Judge Moore, the stakes in this campaign are so great for the cause of Christ. And Judge Moore is being lambasted by the holier-than-thou Christians who think it says we can never lie.

And that is not what that says. On your show, it says, thou shalt not bear false witness. It's like right there. It doesn't say you probably shouldn't most of the time. It says you shall not. False witness is when you pick out the wrong person in a lineup.

That's what that is. When they take you down. Which one's Kaiser Soze? That's... Oh is. When they take you down. Which one's Kaiser Soze? Oh, Kevin Spacey. He's the guy who raped a 14-year-old. Full circle! Full circle! Okay.

All right. Raise your hands if you haven't raped a 14-year-old. No hands. No takers. It's a callback to sexual impropriety that you can do. It's basically called 2017. In fact, it's best to lie if it advances the kingdom of God. Uh-oh, there I said it. Lie if you feel like it's useful. That's what he's saying.

And that's kind of why everyone lies. You never lie if it's useful. That's what he's saying. That's kind of why everyone lies. You never lie if it's not useful to you. You're not like, I'm going to lie. Nobody comes home and is like, put myself in a poor position. Honey, I'm cheating on you. And you're not. You're just like, oh.

I just fucked that backfire. I thought it would go over better than... What? No pot roasts? People lie when they think they're going to get something out of lying. You go to the police and you're just like I robbed a bank. I killed a man in Reno

just to watch him die. I shot the sheriff. And I shot the deputy. I just take a double murder. Oh God. I said it. It's like fucking, he's like at the end when he's like there,

I said it, I said it. And she's like, he's like a toddler after he took a Duke. He's like, look what I did. It's kind of the intellectual equivalent it's i was seriously that was like that was the the brain equivalent

of an upper decker so this story is actually a video from streamable um and this is this is actually an interview with roy moore roy moore for those of you who don't know is the guy who is not going to be in the Alabama Senate. You didn't watch that the other night, huh? The actual election coverage? You didn't watch the election coverage? I did not. I was sad already about one election recently.

And I did not want to repeat the pain and heartache. Can I just say, very happy. Very happy that they bust in all those people from other states to vote. In a fucking state. Alabama has a proud history of busting. Alabama also has a fucking state voter ID law where it's like you need a photo ID. And there are all these people,

they passed it so that because the Republicans want a photo ID law, right? Right. They passed the thing and then everybody, all the Republicans on the internet are just like, I heard they were busting people in. Are they, were they busing people in? Can anybody confirm this? Anybody confirm this unsubstantiated rumor that I'm spreading? There's this awesome Twitter thread that somebody posted and they're just like, think about how many votes you would need for the margin. Let's just say it's 40,000, right?

Let's say that that was what your margin of error, what you needed. So you needed to get 40 extra thousand votes. That's like, you know, and they named the number of buses, how many buses would have to go in and how many trips they would have to make and how many like random polling places they'd have to pull up and open up. And the bus people, the bus drivers didn't say anything. The people who voted didn't say anything. The people who saw all those people in their polling place didn't say anything when they're just like, because you're in Alabama.

You know, every single motherfucker that's going to pull up to your polling place in Alabama. You're trying to sneak a bus full of black people around to vote. Not just one. Not just one, because it's 40,000 votes. No one will notice this bus of black dudes in Alabama. These 10,000 buses. It's not 10,000 buses of black dudes. It's not 10,000.

It's 1,000, though. Maybe 1,000 if you're fitting 40 people on a bus or something, right? I don't know how many fucking people fit on a bus. Whatever. Let's say it's fucking 500. 500 buses is a lot of fucking buses, man. It doesn't even make sense logistically. Oh, no. It's legitimately... It's asinine. It's the dumbest thing I've heard.

Do you know who could pull it off? George Soros. George Soros. He just fucking, wherever the buses go, he just makes it rain off the top of the buses and nobody, he's like, just don't tell anybody. Toot, toot, motherfucker. Do you know that for some reason, I, one, don't know what George Soros looks like. And B, which is two,

I always pictured George Costanza. And I don't know why. And it makes me laugh in my head every single time. The best part about George Costanza as George Soros is his wallet would be really big. Like his wallet, his wallet genuinely would be really, really big. But anyway,

you didn't watch it. I did not. I watched part of it and then I left and I was doing some work in the studio that night. So I found out about it on from an alert on a phone instead of like watching TV. But we were watching the beginning of that coverage at home and you know, it was a neck and neck race and, and then they wound up pulling it out at the end and they had to do a lot to get it done. There was like the ACLU was calling down there. There was call banks.

And, you know, they had to do a lot. They had to get a lot of people motivated to make sure that he got elected. Yeah. And the thing I'm worried about is let's not take our foot off the gas. You know what I mean? Like, let's not, you know, there's a great line from, there's a great line from Reservoir Dogs where he turns to the other guys like, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet. And I feel like that when you're just like, yeah, Roy Moore didn't get married, didn't get fucking elected, right?

He didn't get elected. The other guy, Jones or whatever his name is, got elected. But let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet. This is one piece of a cog. You've got to keep that fire for another two years. And you can't think it's easy. You can't be like, okay, I will. We won in Alabama so we can win anywhere. It takes a lot of work everywhere they want to win. It's going to take a lot of work. And I, and I hope people don't forget that. And I hope people don't grow complacent. And I hope

people don't use this victory as a way to get out of doing shit. You know what I mean? Like I do. I do. And I, and I agree with you and I appreciate your unbridled optimism as usual, because like I look at this and I'm like, oh man, that's awesome. We got the first Democrat in like 25 years in Alabama. And like, maybe Maybe it matters a little bit if somebody's the worst. Maybe we finally reached a turning point after 2016. I hope so. That's just the way my mind works. Maybe being the worst is

now disqualifying. It was not disqualifying last year. Being the worst was like, eh. Not in 16, it wasn't. So I like to think that like, I like to think of things

like the Me Too campaign and some of the other things that have happened over the course of the last several months, maybe, maybe being terrible matters now.

Maybe. I'm not sure that it did before. Maybe. I mean, I think we've demonstrated that it didn't. I think, I think that your optimism

is unfounded because he was on the ballot you know what i mean like like he still was on the ballot he still got how many fucking votes right it's not like it's not like there wasn't thousands tens of thousands of people who still voted for yeah i mean i know i know and i that like 600,000 people don't think that this is disqualifying, right? Like you and I look at this and we're like, it's fucking disqualified. I don't care what you're trying to do.

Exactly. You're disqualified when you're a terrible fucking person. And so, yeah, I hear you. But like, I guess like a year ago, a year ago, we elected a president that was the worst. Being the worst was not disqualifying. I would really like it if we're maybe at a point where, where 51% of people think it's disqualifying. Like, I don't even think that's a low, that's not a high bar. Like it's such a low bar. And like, like, I feel like we could just barely crawl over it.

Like, man, my optimism is that season. My optimism is that. Yeah, it's not fucking you don't have you're not shooting stars out here. You're just like, yeah, this is this is the least we can do. Everyone. It really is literally the least like if I could have 50.1 percent of people think that being the worst is disqualifying. And look at the way in which people voted down there too, where it's like, you know, you look at the black vote and it's all against him.

Nobody cared about this guy. But you look at like the white voters, even the women voters, still pretty high for him. Watching some of the interviews where people were interviewed that were going to vote and they're like, yeah, well, what do you think? Some of the things people say, well, you got to talk before the show. There was one dude who's like, look, and he was a talking head. He was a pundit. He was like a talking head. He's not some fucking rando.

He said something, and I'm paraphrasing, but only a little bit. He's like, look, if somebody stole a lawnmower when they were 20, should that disqualify them for holding public office? I was like, well, yeah. If that lawnmower happened to be a woman,

I know. Women don't mow the lawn. That's, I didn't say dishwasher. Fuck. Oh, they didn't say baby maker. Where is my sandwich? Where is my sandwich?

Where is my baby? Comes out of the kitchen with a baby in a sandwich. Baby in like a loaf of brioche. Look what I made! Are your shoes on? You aren't making any babies in this house with your shoes on? You aren't making any babies in this house with your shoes on.

Those could be running shoes. It was astonishing because like, what does that say about this person comparing it to a property crime? He's like, he's basically saying like women are property. Right? You're allowed to keep them if you can lasso them fast enough. crime. He's like, he's basically saying like women are property, right? If you, I mean,

it's right there. You're allowed to keep them if you can lasso them fast enough. Does that one have my brand? Did I brand that one? Check to see, check to see, lift up the tit on the one side and there'll be an X, X, O, O, O. That's my brand. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like seriously, like it's a property crime some of the excuses people were making were like well it's always been done that way there's one guy who's like there's a lot of mamas and daddas that would be proud

if a district attorney hit on their youngin or whatever I would be happy if a district attorney come hitting on my youngin the fuck is it it's that idea that women are being married I would be happy if a district attorney come, come hitting on my youngin, youngin. The fuck is, it's,

it's that, it's like, it's that idea that like women are being married off, you know, that powerful men can have, you know, young women and young women are a piece of property to be married to a powerful man.

Like all of that is embedded in that horrifying culture. Yeah. That horrifying, disgusting culture. Yeah. But they didn't win. Yeah. And that guy, when he said that, he didn't actually say it.

He just twanged it out of his juice heart out of his mouth. He's like, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr. All right. So this is Roy Moore talking to somebody. I think it's probably from the BBC. This is on The Guardian. So it might be somebody from The Guardian. That's where the video is.

I can see the G up in the corner. So this is him talking to somebody from there, talking about Russia. I assume a supporter of Ronald Reagan in the 80s. He said that Russia was the focus of evil in the modern world. You could say that very well about America, couldn't you? Do you think?

Well, we promote a lot of bad things war for oil cruise missiles i don't think he's gonna think the same bad things you and i would think we promote warlords into dictators is that what we do is that a promotion i don't know is that that's more like a lateral yeah you're right it's more like a lateral move it's more responsibility i don't know if the pay is any better right i feel. Right? I feel like when you make that jump, you're really sacrificing a lot of quality of life for very little extras.

What else do we promote? We promote Trump's hotels and his brand. We do. And Ivanka's purse line. What else do we promote? What did Russia tell us to promote? I forgot. We promote ads I forgot. What's there? We promote ads on Facebook.

You know? Like? Same-sex marriage. Look at that look on that fucking nozzle's face. Same-sex marriage. And he's just got this, like, what you gonna do about it look? Isn't that a hillbilly shit kicking look it really

like and also like does anybody promote it or is it just okay i mean is there like people walking down the street with sandwich boards right hey uh have you tried gay marriage like no i'm not gay oh well you should give it a no one's doing there's like a guy on the corner instead of like the signs that they're spinning it's a big big dick. He's spinning it on the corner. Have you tried that? Have you tried dick? I'm doing this thing. You guys can't see it,

but I'm doing the sign spin, but there's no sign. It's a pantomime. I love those sign spinning guys because what it means is that hiring people is cheaper than hiring sticks. Cheaper than a stick. You know, we should send somebody to Home Depot or we could just pick somebody up at Home Depot.

That's the very argument that Vladimir Putin makes. Well, then maybe Putin is right. That means Reagan is wrong. Your hero is wrong. Your hero is wrong. Shouldn't you just fucking voip out existence as a Republican? When you're just like,

well, maybe Ronald Reagan wasn't right. There should just be somebody like, have you ever seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? And just like, shouldn't the fucking, shouldn't the fucking, all the Republicans around you just start screeching and pointing at that point? Their heads pop like scanners.

Maybe he's more akin to me than I know. What would you say to him? You'd order the borscht? He just had that, like, in his back pocket. I hope somebody someday asks me what I say to Putin. Because I learned this one Russian phrase. I'd order the borscht.

He's not a waiter, you racist. He's a busboy. What he said was, get off the bear, you shirtless weirdo it's my turn actually he said you could come on my face that's what he said in russian doesn't need permission okay russian listeners what does he say here because i'm actually curious to him i want to know what he says I love the way he smiles after that. Like, yeah, that's right, motherfucker. I know Russian. He sounds to me like somebody who speaks it pretty well.

I know. Right? He doesn't sound like somebody who just like went on Duolingo. He sounds like he speaks it pretty well. So I'm actually curious what he says there. I'm going to go to Duolingo and learn Russian. Thank you for the Facebook ads. Maybe that's what he said.

Maybe he said, house Mike Flynn. I mean, I remember one time I had a pair of shoes that I wore and wore and wore and wore. And just for years, these shoes did not wear out. And I wore them years and wore and wore. And it just, just for years, these shoes did not wear out. And I wore them years and years and years. So, you know, sometimes God is saying little epiphanies to us, little things to us. But we don't know how to listen to his voice. This is right wing watch. This is our friend Jim Baker.

It's been decided in heaven that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. This is insanely stupid. This clip is stupid in a way that it's nearly perfect in its assonanity. I want to say this guy's beard, though, is very, very strange.

It's one of those beards that you're just like somebody will look up to me like, do you want to do something with that? And be like, nah, I'm just going to see where it goes. I'm just going to let it go. You know,

it looks like a hair waterfall. It really does. It's like got like a whole landscape. It looks like somebody like walked up to him and splashed a bunch of hair in his face. And it just stayed there. It's like, the first attack is with glue. And he's just like,

that's just, it's like being hard and feathered. Right he's just like, that's just, it's like being hard and feathered. Right. It's like, yeah. Glued in hair. The president of the United States. I actually believe in some believe that God chose this man. Absolutely. You heard it. A guy with an Indian accent said yes.

Those guys know a lot of stuff when they wear orange robes. It makes them wise. I was going to say, why did God choose him? I asked you first, do you think God chose Donald Trump to become our president of our United States? You know, in the year 26... Hold on. They're selling a complete fuelless generator? Last week they sold the incomplete fuelless generator.

Well, you could buy... Which also didn't come with fuel. You could buy three incomplete ones or one complete one. You have to buy them and then like Minecraft them together until one of them works. Just hit it buy them and then like Minecraft them together. Just hit it with a pick until it works. In the month of August, I was at a conference in Lancaster, California. And I wasn't thinking or praying about the elections.

Because I was not focused on that. But one evening, another man of God was speaking and I was just sitting in the meeting and I was just praying. When suddenly I felt in my spirit, I heard a voice say, come up. When I heard the word come up,

my spirit was caught up to heaven. Okay, here it comes, guys. What? Here it comes. What? He's sitting in a meeting at a conference praying. And somebody's like, hey, come on up. And this is where it gets.

It's not even stupid yet. That's why that's the thing that I love about this. If you think that's stupid and if you listen to the show, you're right. It is stupid. Yeah. It's not even stupid yet. We are at the show uh you're right it is stupid yeah it's not even stupid yet we are at the most rational part of this story right now come on up and i was still alive and in heaven and then my spirit i always thought those two were mutually exclusive i don't

know how that works either like he comes he goes up what happens his body just stay there like what happens if somebody's like hey man you want a snickers bar something like somebody's like bending him over right it's like well hey, man, you want a Snickers bar or something? Somebody's like bending them over. Right. It's like, well, looks like this is now a sex doll. And I appeared at the Council of the Prophets. And Abraham was seated there. Was he getting ready to kill his kid? Psych.

Being the chairman of the council. Chairman of the council. They had to appoint a chairman of the Council. Chairman of the council. They had to appoint a chairman of the council of the prophets and it's Abraham. It's because he had the biggest knife. The guy who didn't know God was punking him. That's the prophet. That's the chairman.

Why is there even a chairman? How does the power structure work? Do they vote? Do they get dividends on their profits? Does Isaac always look at him like side eye for the rest of his life like is he always like yeah right is he very startled when somebody comes up in his peripheral as dad's like i love you more than he's like yeah i heard that before i mean almost right that's a hard almost dad thanks you know i'll chop the vegetables all

right you put the knife away. He's like looking at his dad's diary and there's a whole list of stuff he loves more than his son. One of it's like a bowl of popcorn. Changing the cat box. That's not even. You don't even like doing that. And when I stood on the right side of Abraham and as soon as I said. The right side. It's harder to roll your L's. So he had to be on the right side of Abraham. The right side?

It's harder to roll your L's, so he had to be on the right. He kept rolling that thing. He rolled that thing for all it was worth. I came there and looked at Abraham. Just a little later, I saw the spirit of Donald Trump appear there. The spirit of Donald Trump? Grab Merrick Magdal Abraham looked at me and he said, the spirit of Donald Trump. And grabbed Mary Magdalene's pussy. What is going on?

People are just like, got to go. And they're just like shooting to heaven. Like, what do you put them in like teller tubes to shoot them up there? At least in the Mormon thing, that fucking pepperoni guy comes down. Pepperoni? What was his name? Bob Rub.

Abraham looked at me and he said, it has been decided in heaven that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States of America. Oh. And weren't you just like, yeah, I figured it was decided in heaven. I'm in heaven right now.

And so if this is not what your time is going into, ladies, you need to reevaluate, you know, the time that you're putting into your household that's your main job all right so this is terrible this is mike shoesmith uh he's griping that women have quote nagged their way into government so uh god damn here we go here's this fucking nonsense i think that that they're going to bring back this suffragette movement from the teens the 19-teens which gave us

the women's vote in 1920 that's what women's suffrage is what would we bring it back for we're going to take the vote away so that they can fight for it again it's really confusing we're going to bring that one back.

The women's suffrage movement is being, as I was listening to Al Franken resign, this is what came to me in my head for what it's worth, is that this is a revival of the

women's suffrage movement from the teens which guilt... He has said that three times now.rage movement from the teens, which guilt. He has said that three times now. Yeah, it's from the teens, Tom. He has said that three times. But I think he's focused on teens because that's what Roy Moore was focused on. Oh, nicely done. Men into giving the women whatever they wanted.

I mean, whatever they wanted, whatever they wanted. Yeah. They wanted to be equal. Yeah. Well, I think they wanted like, yeah, they wanted not Yeah. They wanted to be equal. Yeah. Well, I think. They wanted, like, yeah. They wanted not to be harassed, right? They immediately all became CEOs.

Is that what happened? Well, they nagged us into not sexually harassing them. And then we did anyway. Some of us got fired. I don't know. Didn't work. Didn't work at all. Didn't work for a hundred years after the 19 teens.

And women were withholding sex from their husband. They just made, you know, Limbaugh calls them the nag for a reason because they nag their way into government. I love it when they like make nagging the negative, not the fact that you didn't do the thing six times before. not the fact that you didn't do the thing six times before. It's like, it's like they, you know, when my wife asked me to clean the cat box three times, it's because I didn't do it the first two times,

right? I'm the asshole. She's not the asshole. If she nags me about something, it's because I fucked up. It's my fault. It's not her fault that she's nagging me, but hang on a minute.

Nagging is like, nagging is that, right? Nagging is like, it's not, I can't vote, right? It's not, it's not, I'm sorry. Well, again, though, I feel like this analogy applies. I don't want to insert shit into my body that I don't want in my body. That's not a nag. I think this applies, though. It's not nagging.

But I think it applies because they're asking you to do something that you should do, right? Don't put something on your body. And when you don't do it and you're an asshole and they ask again, they're the ones in the room. They're the ones in the room. You're like, well, you should have listened to them the first time. It's not their fault. I can't get anything right around here i would just like

the right to vote i'm sorry i wasn't listening wait i was busy playing my computer game so i wasn't paying attention to you i'm sorry honey did you say you were making me uh one sandwich or two i got anyway it could be two could you go back in the kitchen and fix that baby and take your shoes off you're fucking kidding me you Could you go back in the kitchen and fix that baby? And take your shoes off. Are you fucking kidding me? You take your shoes off in the house. And pretty much the whole time. You just keep them off.

Nagging. Nagging. Nagging about not being sexually aroused. They just got nagged into getting everything they wanted. After they got what they expressly didn't want. And, you know, say what you want about that. Men need to stand up for the muscular

masculine aspect of what the country needs as a whole. Muscular masculine aspect? Because women don't have muscles. They're just powered by a very elaborate system of pulleys and nagging. You know, because we have now, what do we have now?

Women are running everything now. Thanks, Hillary. Thanks, Hillary. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's still like, it's still like eight to one dudes. Yeah.

Like in every like major power position in this country. Yeah. And it's like, right. And there's 25% or something like that in the Senate of women. If you look at female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies,

when you look at real power brokers in this country, it's overwhelmingly male. It's okay that women have a say in my mind. It's okay. I will grant them a say. I will grant them a say. I will give you a say.

You're allowed. I will allow you to have some thoughts. The following thoughts are the thoughts you're allowed to have. This guy is great. Does this guy speak in mythicism? They can't run everything because now we have

legalized abortion, legalized gay marriage. I mean, it's all... Yeah, because the women wanted that. They nagged us into gay marriage. There's no gay dudes. There's no gay dudes. All these women nagging at us wanting to get gay marriage. So we did just to appease the women. You do. Pair up. Have a gay dudes. There's no gay dudes. All these women nagging at us wanting to get gay marriage. So we did

just to appease the women. Have a gay marriage. But what? Okay, I'll do it. Just put the rolling pin away. I will do it as long as you stop

nagging at me. All about feelings and emotions with these women. And so men need to be a balance to all of this. But men are being shoved to the side.

Wait a minute. Do men not have feelings and emotions? No. We do not have feelings and emotions, though? We do not have feelings or emotions. I am a muscle machine. I am a masculine muscle machine. When you have emotions, you are wrong. I don't know exactly what it is or what it's doing,

but this is not human intelligence, okay? It's not human intelligence! This story is from Right Wing Watch. This is Alex Jones again. People will call you a homophobe if you don't let them have sex with your car. Anyone who wants to fuck my car

can fuck my car. That is a weird sentence. It is a very weird sentence. But I want to say too, like, I don't think I'd stop someone and be like, I don't know how you're going to pull it off. I don't want you to go in the interior. Like,

like, I feel like anytime you fuck something, you go in the interior. Well, I guess that's fair. All right. That's why I'm just video. All right.

By the way, if you're a radio, silver bells, music, it's the rapey one. It's that rapey guy. The guy who's like, By the way, if you're a radio listener... The Silver Bells music. Alex Jones is about to freak out. It's the rapey one. It's that rapey guy. The guy who's like...

Bing Crosby or whatever. All his songs are all super smarmy and weird. This guy freaks me out. Whenever they come on... I like Christmas music, so I listen to Christmas music every Christmas season. Intentionally? I do.

I listen to it. I'll listen to it from Thanksgiving till Christmas at home. I'll listen to Christmas music every Christmas season. Intentionally? I do. I listen to it. I'll listen to it from Thanksgiving till Christmas at home. Like I'll listen to it intentionally. We'll have it on. Yeah. And like on Pandora, we have a station. And the one thing I don't like when that comes on the station though,

is that rapey guy. He's always just like, he's always just like, I want to rub your back. Just like, okay, Garrison Keillor. Listener, you haven't been fortunate enough or unfortunate enough to actually see what we're showing.

But everywhere they're pushing sex bots and they're a giant new industry. Basically, just fancy blow up dolls that have like an Alexa bot program hooked into the central network. Okay, hang on a minute. I have Alexa. Don't you be trash talking Alexa. I love Alexa. Why do they need an Alexa though?

Do you have to be like Alexa moan like a porn star? Which one? Ron Jeremy. Of the people that produce things. You're like, fuck it, the thing. You're like,

I'm going to update my to-do list. Alexa, order batteries. Alexa, we're out of petroleum jelly. Alexa, start a timer. And the tech companies just have basically a big rubber blow-up doll sex bot that's in your house that has like a fleshlight, I guess is what they call them. You guys.

I guess that's what you call them. If you wanted a fleshlight, you could go to Adam and Eve.com. They have a wide array of flashlights. You could also get, I don't know that they sell sex bots or Alexa, but they certainly sell things you can fuck. They sell things you can be fucked with. They sell things that make the fucking process easier, fun, and more interesting.

All you have to do is go to AdamandEve.com and at our Gloria checkout, you'll get 50% off any item, a free sex swing. Which would make it more interesting. All you have to do is go to adamandeve.com and or glory at checkout. You'll get 50% off any item, a free sex swing, which would make it more interesting and free shipping. There you go. Glory at checkout adamandeve.com as a sex member and they push it as trendy and

brave and cool. They're now brave. Brave? You're fucking a fleshlighter. I'm so brave. I've never felt more like a man than when You fucking have fleshlight. You're so brave. I've never felt more like a man than when I fucked this fleshlight. All the guys around you are just standing with their heart

over their hand, over their heart. They're saluting with the other hand. Fucking God bless America playing in the background. Brave. Brave. I love it.

It's like you're going to call all your buddies back. Dude, you wouldn't believe this shit. Oh, did you run into a burning building? No, I couldn't convince a human woman to fuck me. Fuck my Roomba.

Oh my God, you're a hero. Did you pull people out of the burning wreckage of 9-11? No. No, I fucked a robot. I'm braver than that. Creating on the LGBTQP3CL4. They were showing.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm making fun of designations of people. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You know what of people. It's hilarious. You know what it is? It's clever. Doesn't everybody else hate the juice too? I mean, the designations, they show elementary kids in Canada, the US and the UK. Let's put that back on screen.

You guys found some of those during the break. Because they're ever expanding. They're now saying sex with machines or sex with cars or sex with appliances. There's a whole big move. Appliances? Jesus. You've got to be creative to get it with a toaster oven. Right. You know what I mean? You've got to have just the right amount of pressure on that door. You know what I mean?

You just don't want to let it slam. I feel like if you modified the immersion blender, you could have a go. Oh. I don't want to let it slam. I feel like if you modified the immersion blender, you could have a go. Oh, I don't really know how I just wanted to say that. Who would fuck a car? How would you go fuck a car?

I don't know. How do you fuck like a kitchen aid? There's an attachment for everything. Yeah. I got the ice cream attachment, the dough hook, and the fleshlight attachment. Here's the beat-off attachment. Oh my god, I'm stuck in the

pasta maker. Oh my god. Oh my god. Call every emergency vehicle. You start a fucking car with that thing. Are you kidding me? Wait a minute. If you had to fucking apply it. If I had to fucking apply it if I had to fucking appliance, I have to pick one appliance to fuck.

Um, that's mine. That's easy. I think a whirlpool. It's always squirting. I like the feedback. That's amazing. Oh,

that's the refrigerator. You get a snack when you're done. Shut the feedback. That's amazing. It's the refrigerator. You get a snack when you're done. Snack. You shut the door, you get a smash. Deli meat's gone off. You don't want to fuck the can opener. That's the one you want to stay away from. That's no good.

Toaster's out every time. Toaster is out. There's a few of them that are just not good. Processor. The processor. The grater. That's not a good. There's just no way to do it. You know what I mean?

You're just like, like some of you might be able to get creative. There's a few. You're just like, oh, that's like fucking barbed wire. Like I'm not doing that. Where people are marrying their cars,

marrying their toasters, marrying. We were just saying you'm not doing that. Where people are marrying their cars, marrying their toasters, marrying... You can't do that. Nobody's done that ever. I love the people that marry their cars. Who fucking officiates the wedding? The mechanic? What the fuck happens? Okay, and now car, if you'll sign

here. You can't. That's weird. Oh, toaster. Michael, I can't. Oh, it's not. That's weird. Huh. Oh, toaster. Michael, I didn't say yes, Michael. I cannot. What are you doing, Michael?

They're dogs. They're cats. They're horses. I'm not kidding. Yes, but you're making it up. You're lying. You're not kidding about it. You're just lying about it. And they're catching people in public places. You see it all the time. Like I'm trying to have sex with a Ferrari or trying to have sex with a 57 Chevy. You say this all the time.

I don't even see Ferraris and 57 Chevys all the time. Much less people fucking them. Ferrari. Motherfucker, you walk near a Ferrari that isn't yours. Right. And the alarm bells go off. A fucking attack chopper comes out of the sky. Ferrari's come equipped with like seven guard dogs

that live in the Ferrari. And like one Guido. That's what I said, guard dogs. And they actually, I'm not going to get into the details of what they do, but they lube up the tailpipe and everything. If you have to lube up the tailpipe, slow clap.

Slow clap. Jesus, we were talking about penis size on fucking Citation Needed the other day, the girth on you to lube up a tailpipe. No wonder a woman won't fucking rip her too. Jesus, man. God, you got a timber down there. Fucking axe handle McGee.

My God, you got gotta lube up the tailpipe. I mean, fuck, I could bounce mine off the side. Fucking are you kidding me? She'd lube up the tailpipe. It would be I cannot imagine a situation

where it would be hard to put in a tailpipe. I feel like I could invite two friends. Are you kidding me? Hey, I never get that invitation. I feel a little... What the fuck? Are we talking about a different tailpipe?

You do have to loop that up. You need that, madam. That's just fucking rude. You do not spit on your hand. And it's not going to work. You do not spit on your hand. You are not getting a second invitation. And then they, please come up. There's a guy hunching your car.

So this is. Hunching? Is that a thing? Hunch, hunch. I don't know. Is that dude hunching my car? I don't know. Cause that's not a word.

So. Is that guy hunching my car? What the fuck is wrong with you? I feel like you just let him finish though oh yeah no he wanted it more any man with a dick that big I'm not fucking with that guy

you just clap you just stand back and be like go go you elect him to public office start chanting his name be like Jerry Jerry this is the total mental illness a breakdown of society. If you don't let somebody have sex with your car, you're a homophobe. You're a bigot.

You're a horrible person. I will say somebody having sex with your car brings a whole new meaning to the word carjacked. Totally brand new meaning. This is not satire. I'm not kidding. Yes, it is. Total satire.'m not kidding Yes it is Total satire None of this is happening

Bill Hicks Okay this is what they're teaching kids now This is what we're teaching kids Yeah we are teaching kids to fuck cars At a young age So like when you turn on like cars 3 That's just porn They're just like oh my god

If I could sit there and watch it, fucking Lightning McQueen. Drano in your eyes identifies a blind person and the government of the US or UK or Canada will pay for you to be taken care of for the rest of your life

because you were mentally ill and wanted to hurt yourself and poor Drano in your eyes. We take care of mentally ill people. That's what we do. We should do that. That's what we do in your eyes. We take care of mentally ill people. That's what we do. We should do that. That's what we do as a society. We take care of people who disable themselves by snowboarding.

You know what I mean? Like if you get into a snowboarding accident and you get a fucking, you're now a quadriplegic, the United States government is going to give you a disability. They're not going to give you an I told you so you shouldn't have been out snowboarding. They're going to be like, no. These people are saying like, know like look if that person is mentally ill enough to pour fucking drano into their eyes i want them to have some of my money so that they're

okay i want them i want to make sure that they get the help they need what what he's saying is it's their fault right he's saying it's their fault these, no good for nothing system working mentally ill people. Yeah, right. Drain cleaner. So this is the whole plan. And of course I think I'm going to buy some of these sex dolls. Okay. Okay. Cool, man. Go to

Thailand. I like that. He's like, I'm going to buy some. All right. Yeah. Bravo. Put it in a tailpipe, buddy. Fuck it on InfoWars Live. I don't care. Torch them just to show folks that their AI god is nothing but a fraud. I think there's going to be a major outcry that I'm a bigot and evil person

for doing it. For burning them? I don't think anybody will care. Nobody cares. It's just a thing. It's your private property. Why would somebody get mad? That's like somebody getting mad if you burned your toaster. Who would care? Or your porn collection. Yeah, or whatever. i bought porn and then burn my computer yeah right yeah okay my phone's on fire that's great well don't don't fucking like like you're the one who's wasting your money that's what i don't understand like you're like i'm gonna in in protest i'm going

to give these companies money and then destroy their product. That'll teach them. That'll teach them nothing. Oh, my gosh. As a company, wouldn't you want somebody to be like, yes, I'll buy all your stuff and then burn it? Okay. Yeah. Now you need more of my stuff. Other people will need more because you're not going to give it away.

Once they buy it, I don't care what you do with it. Exactly. You could fuck it. Who's that guy on the other side of the glory hole? sister comes from the raw story co-founder of nation's largest christian rock festival abused minors for 16 years authorities say that's unbelievable i you know one of the things that that that jumped out at me at this is he's currently the pastor of come alive church. I'm just going to make that joke.

Well, but, but Tom, you know, you have that, that saying that, that idea that if you have a naughty, something that could possibly be naughty, you have a 13 year old boy test, but he took it different, a different direction. He has a 13 year old boy test, but he took it different, a different direction. He has a 13-year-old boy test. It's just a different test. There's a different grading scale. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no.

He's a 74-year-old guy. He's facing charges of aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault, and endangering the welfare of their child. And this is because he ran these Christian rock festivals for many years, and he wound up four minors.

It says sexually assaulting four minors in a 16-year period. And the thing that makes me crazy about this is do you remember when you were a teenager? Because I remember when I was a teenager. It's a long time ago, but I got to really dig out the floppy disk to find the disk for this ago, but I got to, I got to really dig out the floppy disc to find floppy disc,

the disc for this, this time. But I do remember I was kind of a prick about the music I listened to. You know what I mean? Like I was kind of like, like, you know what I mean? Like it was a deciding factor.

He would hang out with the music was worn on your sleeve. Right. Literally. I mean, I wore, I wore concert t-shirts all the time to sort of advertise who I listened to. And that was a big part of my life

was the music that I listened to. How does that happen when you have shitty religious music as the thing that you listen to? Man, I don't know. I can't imagine that. I was thinking like, I mean, like,

I don't want to excuse his behavior, but if his alternative was to listen to Creed, you know, I don't know what I'd fuck, you know, it's like, I don't listen to Creed. What's the worst crime?

Which one is the worst crime? Worst one. Listen to striper. Now, what band that you listened to as a kid? Oh God, that you would have gotten a tattoo of or whatever

that right now you cringe at? Nine Inch Nails. Yeah? I loved it. Do you cringe at Nine Inch Nails right now? Yeah, it's really bad music. Is it? Yeah. I wanted it to be good and then it's not instead. Have you re-listened to that stuff?

I haven't really. Man. I haven't. No. You have fond memories of it? I guess I do. Don't re-listen to it. Okay.

It's like watching like, you ever re-watch like a, like a favorite childhood movie? Yeah. Did that go well? Mm-mm. Well, not with Nine Inch Nails.

No. It's bad music. It's, because here's what happened. It was bad music then. Uh-huh. And he's still making music, but, it's bad music. It's cause here's what happened. It was bad music then. Uh huh. And he's still making music, but now he's off drugs.

So it's worse. It's worse. Yeah. For me, for me, there was a band that I really liked in high school and they were a band called Exodus. And I had a t-shirt, um, for their stuff and they were not a

religious band, even though the name of course is for one of the books of the Bible. Um, but they were not a religious band. And I remember the shirt I had was from a song. I think it might even been the name of an album. I don't remember, um, called toxic waltz. And it was a song. And I, and I was thinking to myself today, I was like, what did I used to listen to? And I kind of went through a couple of songs and some of it is, is not as cringy as others. Like some of it is not as for me anyway. And then the thing is, is like somebody out there might like Exodus. They might even like this song and that's fine. It just, it, for me listening to it nowadays, I just remember all the awkward parts of my life. Maybe I don't know what

it is, but I heard that song today and I was just like, Oh, that's not my song anymore. That is not my song anymore. There's another band I listened to. This is pre high school. It was a band called man, a war.

I don't know if you've ever heard of that band. It's the most cringy shit. You had a war. It's so bad. It's so bad. But I did listen to it when I was like, like eighth grade. Yeah. Like that age.

There is a Von Canto cover of A Man at War song. Oh, yeah? And it takes a really bad song and makes it delightfully worse until it comes full circle. It does come full circle. And I love it. So what's a band when you were a kid that you listened to incessantly, but now you cringe when you hear that music? What is that band?

And I'm interested to see the range, right? Because if we have, I know for sure we met some people, hell, I met people in Australia that were older than I was, which I'm significantly an old person right now. I'm significantly older than anyone else who listens to this show. I'm an old, old, old person

except for a few people who I happen to meet that were older even than me. Somebody out there is going to probably mention a disco song and then there might be somebody who's going to mention a 90s song. You know what I mean? I'm curious at what that range is, but whatever

you cringed at. Part of it depends on how far back you go. Sure. In my 20s it was Nine Inch Nails. I love that shit, but whatever you cringed at. Part of it depends on how far back you go. Sure. In my 20s, it was Nine Inch Nails. I love that shit. But if I go back further, man, I like some real bad shit. I like some real bad. Now I'm thinking about it, I'm like, oh, I listened

unironically to Vanilla Ice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, man. I love that shit. I used to listen to Run DMC when I was a kid. I feel like that's way better than Vanilla Ice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, man. I love that shit. I used to listen to Run DMC when I was a kid. I feel like that's way better than Vanilla Ice. Yeah. I don't know that I ever listened to Vanilla Ice. I'm trying to remember. I stopped. Yeah.

You quit. Collaborated and listened. And then I stopped listening. Stop. Collaborate. Don't listen. God. I listened to Country for a little while, too. I listened to Garth Brooks. Okay. I don't know.

That's whatever. I listen to country music on occasion. If it comes on, I don't turn off. Like sometimes I won't turn off the channel, but I would never seek it out. It was not something I'd seek out. I'm trying to think like now, like if I had a Garth Brooks tattoo,

I would remove the limb that was attached to. I remember when I was, this is really far back. I remember when I was, this is a, this is a really far back. I remember when I was a little kid, we're talking like, you know, five or six. And when you're five or six and you're in school,

at least back then you were just like, basically your teacher was your fucking babysitter. Like that's, you didn't do anything in school. Like you just went to school and then they did, you did activities. And I remember one day they, they sent us home on like a,

like a Friday and they said, we're going to play musical chairs on Monday. So bring in your favorite album. And I asked my mom, I said, I don't own any albums. Will you take me to the store and buy an album? And I bought an album and the album was, and that's, I'm like five years old. Yeah. And I bought an album called Disco Duck and it's got, it's got Daffy, is it Daffy? No, Donald Duck. Donald Duck. And it's a disco song that plays in the background. And he talks. And I remember being like, I remember being in the house. And I was a little five-year-old.

And my dad put it on the record player. And I remember like dancing to it. Like just fucking just being like, this is going to be awesome on Monday. And the teacher takes this album. It's a brand new album. She puts it on there. And she's like this album, this brand new album. She puts it on there and she's like, all right. And she starts to play it.

And then she fucking rips the thing off of it. What? Like, like she plays it for a half a second. Cause it's musical chairs. That's how it works. Right. That's how musical chairs works.

You have to, I thought you did it like rage. No, you play it for a few seconds. Then you pull the thing up. Then you play it for a second. Then you pull the thing up. Yeah.

Well, she's scratching my record. And I just bought it. I'm a little kid. I remember being so mad. You play it for a few seconds and then you pull the thing up. Then you play it for a second and then you pull the thing up. Yeah. Well, she's scratching my record and I just bought it. I'm a little kid. I remember being so mad. I'd be like, just let the song play out. But you're playing musical chairs

so you can't do that. Dude, you're so old you played musical chairs with records? I know. I know. Isn't that great? Oh my God.

Isn't that great? Like there are there are a not inconsiderable amount of listeners right now. We have no idea. They don't know what an art record is. They're like, what is a record? Oh, they probably do, but they're just like, I've never seen one in action. I've never seen one of these

in action. They're actually making a comeback. I always hear that. Albums are making a comeback. There's album stores in Chicago. You can go and go to a place where they sell those discs of vinyl. Why would anybody want to hold it up to the sun and spin it really fast? I don't understand in

2017 why anybody would want to own a physical piece of music. I know, right? It seems like a weird thing. It seems like such a waste of time. I'm going to go buy an album. Do you own any CDs anymore? Not anymore. I don't either. No. Yeah. I don't own one. I don't own a single CD. No, I do own one. It came in my car.

I bought my car used. And there was a CD in it. What is it? Garth Brooks? You want answers? I think I'm entitled. You want answers. I want the truth.

You can't handle the truth. Okay. This is a right wing watch. Dave coach. Doc coach. Not a coach. Doc coach. Dobbin Meyer.

Wonders if vaccines are making people gay. Okay. A spoiler alert. They are not. Tell me ruin everything. I know. I read a lot of stuff. A lot of crazy stuff.

A lot of wacky penthouse letters. I read a lot of short articles. You know what I mean? Roy Moore's blog. Sometimes they're the same thing oh god that's that'd be a horror show roy moore's roy moore's sexual blog i met a 14 year old today like yes it has to have the teacher every day right yes i hand it to the teacher will you please give this to suzy when she gets out of homeroom, I wrote her a letter.

I slide it into her locker. Do you love me? Check. Yes or no. Are you my dad's dad? Yes. That's what I am. Have you guys noticed this

have you noticed the explosion of deviant sexual proclivity yeah it's like the Cambrian explosion you know what it is there are layers all it is is that

we just don't care more people are out of the closet I think there are I think there are new ways for people that we just don't care. And a lot of people, more people are out of the closet. I also, I think, I think there are, I think there are new ways for people to be expressive about their sexual lives. And like,

we have a different set of social mores now where people feel more comfortable talking about their sexual lives than they did a handful of years ago. Yeah. That's it. People were always doing weird shit when they were fucking. Yeah. Look,

you guys didn't invent fucking someone in the ass like people have been fucked in the ass since there were asses to be fucked since there were asses and dicks right or nobody else yeah it's not this is none of this shit is new it should just be homo and great

then it was homo and straight bye wouldn't you be like cool with cooler with by then? Okay. Cause you're like half the time. You're okay. Half the time. I tolerate you.

I think he thinks it's more like terrorists. Like they're not wearing a uniform. He doesn't know. Like what side are you on? You slipped in. They let that by one slip by. You slip one past the goalie. Homo and straight and bi and trans.

Homo and straight and bi and trans and gay. He's just naming things he's heard of. Homo and gay. You just named two of the same ones. You're dipping from the same well there, buddy. He's just saying things he's heard of now. And trans is not a sexual proclivity. It's a gender identity.

It's a gender identity. So let's make sure that we put that out there before we get 100 emails too. Correcting him or correcting us for not correcting him or however that works. Correcting him by proxy. They keep adding initials, right? Yeah, they just added two. F and U.

And I was reading something that this is happening. Literally, this is happening because our DNA is being changed. What's DNA in your head? This is going to be great. This is one of those coach moments where I'm excited. I'm like, oh, it's going to be so great. He is an ignoramus.

Can you explain DNA to me, please? And I'm going to pause before he even says it. So this would make all these things biological, which would render them not choices. Which is problematic for all of his other arguments. And our DNA is being changed, not only

through what we eat, but through the... What, he ate a rutabaga to change your DNA? You are what you eat. You are what you eat. You are what you eat. And if you're a. I drank a bottle of Downy and I got Down syndrome. If you're a guy and you eat a dick, you're gay.

Stuff that we're seeing right here. Who knows what was injected into some of these deviant sex people as children. Who knows what was. When they say they were born that way, maybe they were vaccinated that way. Maybe that's insane. Lady Gaga tried that, vaccinated that way

first out in the first draft. It didn't work. She had to go back to born that way. So we'd like to thank our newest patrons. First off, Patreon went back on their deal. They Walmarted. They rolled it back.

They did roll it back. They initially said that they were going to charge patrons a bunch of extra money. They decided not to do that at all. Because it was stupid. They just rolled it all back. You don't have to change your pledges. You don't have to do anything. If you're set up for the one time a month that you've already set up, you don't have to worry about it if you don't want to worry about

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So if you want to support the show, we of course would really like it, especially with my job influx. We'd love to have people supporting the show. That would be awesome. Save CISO. Hey, I got a sandwich board

out here. We'll podcast for food. Will you stop podcasting for food? I will stop podcasting for lack of food. I'll tell you that. Not for a long time, my friend. I know, right? We want to thank, of course,

all the people that jumped in this week. There are a bunch of people who changed their pledges, so it's hard for me to make sure that all of these people are brand new people, but I'm trying to just mention the brand new people. Thank you, Jeff, Adipose Rex, Alicia, Tamir,

Mays, Angus, Matthew, the International Cheese Eater, Beetlejuice, Andrew Torsten, Kevin McCloud and this is Kevin McCloud, the same Kevin McCloud that runs Incompetech.com who I've been using his music on other projects for years so Kevin, welcome

thanks for being a patron man that's amazing, Jeff Kane, Darwin's Revolver Corey, Brycipio Enema Man man. That's amazing. Jeff Kane, Darwin's revolver, Corey Bryce Sipio, and I'm a man and I'm a man. I know a weird superhero.

John, this is propulsion. That's weird, Tom. It's how he gets around Ted Cruz ate my son. So vote Beto in 2018 Mike Hubbub left at the Valley Podcast, Char, Ann,

Dustin, Jasper, Dave, Drunk, Shimoda, Joseph, and Virginia. Thanks so much for your generous donations.

We appreciate everybody who stuck with us through Patreon. We appreciate everybody who changed their patronage that was willing to stick with us, that was willing to put up with that. Thank you so much for everything. And thanks for your support, guys. We really appreciate it. So it's a call to prayers.

And we also want to talk about some emails, but we've got a few calls to prayer. So I'm going to play first Azriel's. So do you think you could run that whole thing by me one more time? emails, but we've got a few calls to prayer, so I'm going to play first Azriel's. So do you think you could run that whole thing by me one more time? Say it again. Say it to my fucking face. You sure

do suck, and I wish I never invited you over. Get the hell out of my house. It's over. What is that from? I don't know, but I love it. This next one is from Nash Buska. Nash Buska. Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar. I don't like where this is going. Oh, shit. Stop. Stop. FBI should be knocking on his door any minute now. That's good. This one's from Amrit. We got an email from Brian and Brian says, you guys are right. LAX is the worst. It's even worse than, than for someone who lives here.

I'd rather drive 30 miles to Burbank and not be able to get a direct flight. Wow. You live near a hub, a major international hub. You're like, fuck that shit. I'll take a stopover. No,

man, I would much, I I'll deal with LAX for a direct flight for a direct over a stopover. I'd rather be hitting the hammer, hit on the toes with a hammer and have to do a stopover. Yeah. If I have to get a direct flight. A direct over a stopover? I'd rather be hitting the hammer hitting on the toes with a hammer than have to do a stopover. Yeah, if I have to get a direct flight, I'd fuck a toothless hobo in the mouth.

Are you kidding me? You would do that anyway. We got a message from Dan and Dan says, just a question to provoke thought. If Dick Durbin was running against Alan Keyes and Durbin had more type allegations, would you vote for Keyes or abstain or other?

What I would do in that situation is I would probably vote for somebody else in a, uh, that's from a smaller party. So like if there was a green party or a libertarian candidate that I could get behind that I think could handle the job, I would vote for them. If there was nobody qualified in the election, I would abstain. I would not vote for someone. Yeah. I, I, you know, I certainly wouldn't vote for keys and I certainly wouldn't vote for anybody who, um, had credible allegations of being a child molester or, or, you know, I just wouldn't do it. So I don't know what my other options would be,

but I would take another option. There's no way that I could punch the ticket. Yeah, I couldn't do it. And say, that's my guy. Yeah. I can't do it. And Dan says he might vote for Durbin, hoping the Senate got him removed and then a suitor or replacement would be picked by the governor. That's, that's a, for me, that's a, feels like a long game. And you're asking, you're, there's a big ask me, that's a, it feels like a long game and you're asking your, there's a big ask there because if he's able to make it on the ticket and he's

able to get elected, it's not going to boot him. I don't know unless, you know, it's, I mean, the thing is, is like if it's a Republican Senate,

yeah, sure. They probably wouldn't a second, but, but if it's a, if it's a, if it's a Republican Senate and it's a Republican getting in, I think it was going to be a lot harder to get him removed than people thought.

I know that there was some Republicans that were coming in on the side of getting him removed the moment he stepped into office. A lot of people said that that was his strategy anyway. Oh, really? Just win. What he wants to be is a pundit. What he wants to be is the vilified guy who got knocked out of the system by the deep state so he could be that guy to write the book and to go that's what he wanted to be that's what people speculate that he wanted to be I don't know if that's true

okay here's another call to prayer this one's from Natalie Wow. It's just so well done. That is really well done. That's good. We got a message from Sakura and I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, but Sakura says the mystery of Trump slurring basically can

boil down to there's a possibility that he was having an episode from from using dementia medication. This this person says that they've seen that sort of thing before. Other people have said to us and sent many messages to us and said that his dental plate came out and he wears dentures and he was trying to hold it in place while he spoke, which was why that caused the slurring. To me, that doesn't explain the breathing hard bit of it, but I've never had a dental plate, so I don't know if it blocks your airways and that's the only way to like... I don't know because I've never had one, but that's a plausible explanation. But the crazy thing is

we live in a country where our president is so vain he won't admit that. I know, right? The alternative is to look like you're having a stroke. It's not like... Because you're already in this situation. It's not like people don't think something is happening. You're breathing hard. You're slurring your words at this point what you need to say is

yeah uh it was you know why wouldn't you say it's the most innocuous thing like losing your dentures why wouldn't you be like well because the alternative is that people again like i get like i get some level of vanity but if the alternatives everybody thinks you had a stroke, that's the worst. That's way worse than being an old man without, yeah. We got a video. This is a talking heads video that somebody put Trump in.

Seriously, if you are somebody that does not normally go to our website, I literally don't care what you're doing right now. I don't care if you're driving a car full of children to a hospital driving a car full of children. Yeah. A bus to a hospital bus full of children. Stop.

No. Watch this. Don't stop. Keep driving. Accelerate. Watch it on your phone. It's amazing. This is the best thing we've been sent in forever.

It is pretty great. Check it out. Aaron sent it in. It's very, very funny. We had someone who sent us what happens when your underwear rides up your front butt. Brianne says that's called a veggie. Or a VG, I guess.

I don't know. If you pick it out with your teeth, you're a vegetarian. Here's Carl. Here's a call to prayer from Elvis. Where's the beef? Hey, where's the beef? Where's the beef?

I just love that. I just love that. Good shit, Elvis. Way to go. This one's Don. Don sent this one in. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away. Allahu Akbar. That was timely too. It's Star Wars coming out. Here's another call to prayer. This is Andy. Oh my God.

Now get the fuck up. I love that. I love that. It's like a fucking bangerang or something. That's awesome. We got a message from Zaid. He's in Iraq. This wins. Zaid says

he's in Iraq and he says just a friendly reminder that for the first time in a long time your president is even worse than ours. He's a man in Iraq and he says, just a friendly reminder that for the first time in a long time, your president is even worse than ours. He's a man in Iraq. Oh, don't play this loud, Zaid. Do not play the calls to prayer loud. Please don't get caught with this phone.

Whatever you do, Zaid, stay safe, whatever may occur. You should leave where you're at now. Well, that's going to wrap it up for this week um we are gonna leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed credulity is not a virtue it's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue hypno babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupunctuating, Pressurized, Stereogram, Pyramidal, Free Energy, Healing, Water, Downward Spiral, Brain Dead, Pan, Sales Pitch, Late Night Info-Docutainment.

Death in towers, tarot cards, psychic healing, crystal balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms, Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense. Expose your signs. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. The opinions and information provided on this podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. All opinions are solely that of Glory Hole Studios, LLC. Cognitive dissonance makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information and will not be liable for any errors, damages, or butthurt arising from consumption. All information is provided on an as-is basis.

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